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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎我們是人類的最後希望

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‎踏上一場外太空奇航

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‎出發，我們只能勇敢飛向前方

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‎（丘尼斯）

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‎（肉夫）

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‎汪汪上太空

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‎汪汪上太空

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‎（汪汪艦）

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‎（冥王星號）

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‎劇名：誰想簽條約？

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‎歡迎回來，拉基

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‎-好耶，拉基艦長…拉基
‎-萬歲！拉基！

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‎謝謝大家，請暫停掌聲

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‎我還以為“暫停”是指繼續的意思

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‎重新開始掌聲

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‎時機過了，兄弟

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‎歡迎回來

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‎小辣椒，你知道拉基吧？

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‎我比較熟悉巴蘇拉將軍，不過…

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‎小辣椒，巴蘇拉將軍
‎就是我打扮假裝的

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‎我還以為妳很聰明

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‎回來的感覺真好

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‎天啊，你們看

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‎我想念這個電燈開關

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‎糟糕，有人不小心把燈調暗了

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‎別擔心，交給我

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‎其實我比較喜歡我原本調的亮度

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‎還有人不知為何
‎竟然把溫度調得跟北極一樣冷

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‎難道是企鵝上太空嗎？

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‎拉基，我很高興你回來了，可是…

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‎唉呀

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‎我真笨

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‎抱歉，習慣使然

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‎沒關係，我們該出發了

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‎沒錯，糯米，出發吧

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‎沒問題，艦…不是艦長

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‎叫拉基就好

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‎那個…

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‎喜黛樂…我是說艦長

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‎真抱歉，我沒用大腦，都是肌肉記憶

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‎發號施令是肌肉記憶？

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‎舌頭畢竟是肌肉

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‎不要吵，丘尼斯

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‎我就坐下來…我下來了，抱歉

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‎嘿，各位

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‎照喜黛樂的話做，但我沒有命令你們

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‎我先不打擾了

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‎沒事吧，艦長？好，再見

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‎你確定住在綺拉的舊房間沒問題嗎？

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‎沒問題啦

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‎雖然過去幾週以來

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‎一直都有人提起我那場“綺拉災難”

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‎但住這裡不算什麼

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‎我可以在我房間裡幫你蓋床鋪

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‎事實上，我已經蓋好了

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‎丘尼斯，別擔心，我不會有事的

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‎你該回去了

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‎聽我的準沒錯

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‎艦長不能沒有技術暨醫療官

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‎真的很高興你回來了，艦…

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‎我是說拉基

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‎我們都很想你

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‎我也很想念我自己

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‎你覺得如何，艦長？

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‎很多條件都符合，你們看看這片天空

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‎還有那些樹木

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‎空氣聞起來非常乾淨

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‎說不定我們能靠這顆星球
‎拯救地球上的所有人

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‎-好耶
‎-太棒了

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‎做得非常好

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‎天啊！這個星球符合很多條件

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‎看看那些刺針和果醬火腿

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‎而且空氣聞起來非常清淨

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‎各位，說不定我們能靠這顆星球
‎拯救親愛的佛洛克威斯人

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‎太好了

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‎好，現在這個情況很微妙

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‎交手過程中

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‎要運用外交手段
‎機智的應對和戰略…

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‎喂！滾開，是我們先來的

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‎看來我們得把話說清楚，星球小偷

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‎是你們要從我們的星球上滾開才對

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‎你和你的手下全部都要滾

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‎不好了

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‎你是這艘太空船的指揮官嗎？

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‎-我的名字叫…
‎-我是史吉爾艦長

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‎這位女士
‎我已經和妳的艦長談過了

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‎安靜

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‎什麼？不，天啊

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‎好，我大概知道了…

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‎喜黛樂才是艦長，我只是前任…

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‎上一任艦長

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‎艦長，我發誓我不是故意踩到妳的線

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‎拉基，你踩到線都已經不見了

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‎你別再一副自己是艦長的樣子

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‎我不顧一切為你挺身而出
‎拜託你別讓我後悔

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‎我不是故意要越權的

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‎我保證，我會挺妳到底

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‎這位是喜黛樂艦長
‎冥王星號的指揮官

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‎身經百戰的落水狗英雄

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‎高飛狗英雄

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‎還有普通狗英雄

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‎謝謝你的美言，拉基

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‎我也可以請手下細說我的豐功偉業

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‎但這樣會花太多時間

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‎我先搞清楚一下

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‎我們雙方都想占領這顆星球，對嗎？

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‎沒錯，不如我們來好好談…

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‎我們來好好談一談吧

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‎好，我只是…好

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‎這傢伙還真是…

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‎非常迷人

113
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‎但這裡是地球的兩倍

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‎我們該好好協商，也許可以共享

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‎好主意，艦長

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‎謝了，拉基

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‎我知道了，你們協商的同時
‎我趁機偷溜上他們的太空船

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‎想辦法找出這群怪人的把柄

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‎好耶！

120
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‎把他們的太空船裝滿土，給他們好看

121
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‎各位，拜託你們想一些有用的辦法

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‎艦長，容我說句話
‎其實那可能是個好主意

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‎太好了！

124
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‎妳是說勒索他們？
‎還是把太空船填滿土？

125
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‎-耶
‎-都不是

126
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‎但如果搜查他們的太空船
‎或許就能查出他們的底細

127
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‎這樣就能占上風

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‎不行，我們也不希望他們偷雞摸狗吧

129
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‎我們要以同理心來感動他們

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‎說得真好，艦長

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‎拉基，我知道你的心意，謝謝你

132
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‎但支持跟阿諛奉承是兩回事

133
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‎妳說的都對，艦長
‎我會停止阿諛奉承

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‎這建議非常棒，謝謝妳

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‎好了，各位盡其所長

136
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‎我來測試土壤的酸鹼值

137
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‎糯米，妳去檢查大湖的生態…

138
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‎艾德，你在做什麼？

139
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‎喜黛樂說
‎不能闖進他們的太空船去找把柄

140
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‎對，我知道

141
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‎但她又沒有說
‎不能闖進他們的太空船去找寶物

142
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‎已經明顯到不用明講吧

143
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‎我認為只要沒有明講
‎那就是灰色地帶

144
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‎那是我最喜歡的顏色

145
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‎艾德，我們被逮到之前要趕快溜走

146
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‎那當然，但誰曉得何時會被逮到？

147
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‎兩位，我來幫忙了

148
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‎妳來根本是在幫倒忙
‎這樣哪算幫忙？

149
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‎艾德越早偷到貴重物品
‎他就會越早離開

150
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‎這點我無法反駁

151
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‎艾德，那你偷快一點

152
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‎史吉爾艦長，瑪塔戰略官說

153
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‎你們被迫棄星而逃

154
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‎被惡意入侵者侵略之後
‎你們順利逃出來

155
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‎艦長，妳顯然是談判菜鳥

156
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‎在我們開始討論之前
‎讓我來給妳一些指點吧？

157
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‎好

158
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:38,375
‎第一次失敗

159
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‎妳剛剛讓步了

160
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‎談判第一守則

161
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‎絕對不能讓步

162
00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:50,083
‎那談判第二條守則是什麼？

163
00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:52,625
‎我才不會告訴妳

164
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‎除非妳把這顆星球讓給我們

165
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‎砰！

166
00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:58,791
‎談判第二條守則就是

167
00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,041
‎只要開口就提出要求

168
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,500
‎史吉爾艦長，我們要不要…

169
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:05,500
‎各讓一步，找出共識？

170
00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:08,458
‎等等，我知道了，我想到完美辦法

171
00:09:08,541 --> 00:09:12,666
‎不如我們試著各讓一步，找出共識

172
00:09:16,791 --> 00:09:19,833
‎天啊，太酷了

173
00:09:19,916 --> 00:09:21,166
‎我的天啊

174
00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,958
‎這傢伙到底有多自戀？

175
00:09:24,916 --> 00:09:26,500
‎我是說…對啊

176
00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:29,958
‎我的天啊，我絕對不會想要那種東西

177
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:33,875
‎聽著，我懂，你想拯救族人

178
00:09:33,958 --> 00:09:35,625
‎你想成為他們的英雄

179
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,583
‎我本來就是他們的英雄

180
00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:41,375
‎好喔，那如果你讓我們共享這個星球

181
00:09:41,458 --> 00:09:44,500
‎你不僅能救自己的同類

182
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:46,208
‎同時還能救我們的物種

183
00:09:46,291 --> 00:09:49,041
‎等等，所以我會是雙邊英雄？

184
00:09:49,125 --> 00:09:50,041
‎那當然了

185
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‎是不是，各位？

186
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,583
‎人類會歌頌你的偉大

187
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‎對，歌頌你

188
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‎雙邊英雄

189
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‎史吉爾艦長

190
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‎沒關係，妳讓他幻想自己成為英雄了

191
00:10:08,125 --> 00:10:11,958
‎對，我認得這個表情
‎馬上就會流下一滴眼淚吧？

192
00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:15,000
‎對，三、二…

193
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:17,666
‎眼淚來了

194
00:10:19,583 --> 00:10:21,291
‎我們之後一起喝杯咖啡吧

195
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‎看看這個
‎這傢伙迷上了不同物種的女人

196
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:31,583
‎天啊，真難想像

197
00:10:37,041 --> 00:10:38,291
‎是密室暗門

198
00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:59,750
‎這是用來把敵人做成鬆餅嗎？

199
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:00,666
‎好噁喔

200
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:02,666
‎什麼？

201
00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:06,583
‎救命，我卡住了，它在吞噬我！

202
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,125
‎好黏喔，都是薄荷味

203
00:11:12,041 --> 00:11:15,791
‎各位，這些不是武器，是刑具

204
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,791
‎我就知道這些人很可疑

205
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:27,208
‎我決定了

206
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:30,958
‎關住可愛的生物
‎絕對是壞人才會幹的事

207
00:11:31,041 --> 00:11:32,500
‎我們得警告喜黛樂

208
00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:41,208
‎那就這麼說定了

209
00:11:41,291 --> 00:11:43,333
‎北半球歸地球人

210
00:11:43,416 --> 00:11:45,041
‎南半球歸佛洛克威斯人

211
00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:48,333
‎我很高興我們能達成共識

212
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,500
‎我們也很高興

213
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:52,458
‎我救了你們，不用客氣

214
00:11:52,541 --> 00:11:55,416
‎只要在點線上簽名
‎就正式簽署條約了

215
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,000
‎這是歷史性的一刻

216
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,958
‎喜黛樂艦長，絕對不要簽名

217
00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:03,666
‎除非是開戰宣言

218
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:05,125
‎你在說什麼？

219
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:07,458
‎妳看我們在他們船上找到什麼

220
00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:10,166
‎你們跑上他們的太空船？

221
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:12,041
‎對啊，我聽了妳的指示

222
00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:14,791
‎我明明叫你們別跑上人家的太空船！

223
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:16,791
‎不，我是為了讓艾德快點走

224
00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:18,625
‎反正不重要了，妳看看這些

225
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:21,458
‎拉基！

226
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:25,500
‎佛洛克威斯人的星球
‎被好戰的外星人入侵了

227
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:29,250
‎史吉爾的族人為了逃生
‎才會奪走對方的戰艦

228
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,625
‎怎麼回事？

229
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:36,375
‎對方用這些可怕的裝置
‎來對付我們的族人

230
00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:39,000
‎我們從來沒用過
‎根本就不知道怎麼用

231
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:41,250
‎但刑具藏在一間密室裡

232
00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:44,291
‎因為看了很怵目驚心

233
00:12:44,375 --> 00:12:46,041
‎史吉爾艦長，我可以解釋

234
00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:48,708
‎這是巨大的背叛！

235
00:12:48,791 --> 00:12:51,541
‎原來狗對忠誠的定義是這樣

236
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:53,708
‎艦長，他們在說謊

237
00:12:53,791 --> 00:12:57,916
‎對，有一個可愛的外星寶寶
‎本來被他們關在籠子裡

238
00:12:58,833 --> 00:13:01,708
‎等等！什麼叫“本來”？

239
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:11,916
‎你說這種生物是…

240
00:13:18,666 --> 00:13:21,833
‎沒錯，這種打不死的人肉武器
‎會把行星整個吃掉

241
00:13:21,916 --> 00:13:23,666
‎我們必須保護我們的新家

242
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:25,958
‎等等，我們一起來擬定戰略吧

243
00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:29,416
‎不，我會成為英雄，我會拯救世界

244
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:31,291
‎我們信不過你們這些狗

245
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,375
‎佛洛克威斯人，攻擊！

246
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,541
‎我原本的計畫行不通了
‎誰還有好主意？

247
00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:59,333
‎艦長，我有個主意，如果…

248
00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:05,541
‎艦長，以戰略上來說
‎這顆星球顯然已經沒救了

249
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:07,166
‎還是聽聽拉基的計畫吧

250
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,083
‎現在憑什麼要我們相信他？

251
00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:13,208
‎毋庸置疑
‎拉基的計畫一定會漏洞百出

252
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,875
‎但現在我覺得有總比沒有好

253
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:25,416
‎艦長，我知道我把事情搞砸了，但…

254
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:29,208
‎拉基，星球要被吃掉了
‎你到底有什麼計畫？

255
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:30,958
‎相信我

256
00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:45,125
‎嗨，可以跟你們的艦長談談嗎？

257
00:14:49,125 --> 00:14:51,000
‎-也許他被幹掉了
‎-糯米！

258
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:54,208
‎抱歉，應該沒有，對吧？

259
00:15:04,791 --> 00:15:06,416
‎那是什麼東西？

260
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,666
‎不客氣，星球

261
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:22,541
‎你怎麼說服他不要殺了你？
‎通常你談判的結局都是…

262
00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:23,708
‎大家逃命？

263
00:15:23,791 --> 00:15:24,833
‎非常正確

264
00:15:24,916 --> 00:15:26,125
‎我有點懷念

265
00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:27,583
‎我一點都不懷念

266
00:15:27,666 --> 00:15:28,875
‎但這一次

267
00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:32,958
‎我是透過同理心來感動他

268
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:34,375
‎天啊

269
00:15:35,041 --> 00:15:38,500
‎我只是想讓她以我為傲

270
00:15:38,583 --> 00:15:40,791
‎我懂，我真的懂

271
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:45,125
‎像史吉爾艦長這樣的艦長
‎必須時時刻刻證明自己是英雄

272
00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:49,125
‎但如果他不放手，就永遠當不成英雄

273
00:15:49,208 --> 00:15:54,208
‎哇，這樣聽起來
‎史吉爾艦長真的想通了

274
00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:57,375
‎這我可不敢說

275
00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:01,833
‎星球有一大半被那寶寶啃光了
‎這全都是你害的

276
00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:03,625
‎艦長，他們救了我們

277
00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:05,291
‎是我救了大家

278
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:07,791
‎史吉爾艦長，我以為我們變親近了

279
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,166
‎我們還一起哭耶

280
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,125
‎沒這回事，我從沒哭過

281
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:13,208
‎我連小時候都不會哭

282
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,333
‎瑪塔，快點逃

283
00:16:28,958 --> 00:16:30,708
‎懦夫，儘管逃吧

284
00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:33,666
‎這個自信過度的野獸絕對打不過我

285
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,625
‎史吉爾艦長，我們得走了

286
00:16:35,708 --> 00:16:39,125
‎不行，我不准別人搶走我的榮耀

287
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,375
‎佛洛克威斯人，衝啊

288
00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,958
‎那傢伙真糟糕

289
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:53,458
‎我很高興你試著跟他講道理
‎雖然最後沒有成功

290
00:16:53,541 --> 00:16:57,166
‎跟史吉爾共享一個星球
‎絕對會禍患無窮

291
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,458
‎說到禍患

292
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,708
‎看來我該回到茶館了

293
00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:04,583
‎不

294
00:17:04,666 --> 00:17:07,083
‎你還是離茶館遠一點吧

295
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:09,041
‎你在那邊還比較危險

296
00:17:09,916 --> 00:17:11,625
‎謝謝妳，艦長

297
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:46,583
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