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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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RuPaul: The queens
of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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are recreating
an unforgettable episode

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of "The Brady Bunch."

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It's a one-of-a-kind
television event

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fit for a queen.

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Uh-huh.

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RuPaul: With appearances
by the Brady OGs.

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Hold onto your wig.

11
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Oh.
This is my own hair.

12
00:00:24,557 --> 00:00:27,128
This classic is about
to be drag.

13
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* Here's the story
of a lovely lady *

14
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,735
* Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls *

15
00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:37,237
She'd already done had herses.

16
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,906
* All of them
had hair of gold *

17
00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:41,674
* Like their mother *

18
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:44,578
-* The youngest one in curls *
-Hey, get it, girl!

19
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:48,582
* It's the story
of a man named Brady *

20
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,518
* Who was busy
with three boys of his own *

21
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,186
Werk!

22
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,923
* They were four men
living all together *

23
00:00:55,988 --> 00:00:58,926
* Yet they were all alone *

24
00:00:58,991 --> 00:01:01,829
* Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow *

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00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,597
Whoo!

26
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,567
* And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch *

27
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,569
* That this group
must somehow form a family *

28
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:11,338
Chile!

29
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* That's the way we all became
the Brady Bunch *

30
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:16,243
* The Brady Bunch *

31
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,245
* The Brady Bunch *

32
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* That's the way we became
the Brady Bunch *

33
00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:26,454
[RuPaul laughs]

34
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:52,979
Hi, Mom.

35
00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:54,981
Hi, honey.
How was school today?

36
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,384
Okay.

37
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,718
Alice made some of
your favorite cookies,

38
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,953
-if you're hungry.
-Good, I am.

39
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:03,891
Mm, this is for you.

40
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:10,129
Oh, hey, it's an invitation
to Lucy Winter's birthday party.

41
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,431
Who opened it?

42
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:15,336
I did, but it wasn't my fault.
Look at the envelope.

43
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:17,638
"Marcia Brady"?

44
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,106
How come my invitation
was addressed to you?

45
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,009
I don't know.

46
00:02:22,074 --> 00:02:24,312
Lucy's your friend,
so I called her to check it out.

47
00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,514
Well, what did she say?

48
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,882
Oh, you know,
just one of those things.

49
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,718
She made a mistake and put
my name instead of yours.

50
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,929
-Mom?
-Yes, honey?

51
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,564
Did you hear about
Lucy Winter's invitation?

52
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:47,067
Well, I did hear Marcia
calling about it.

53
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:50,670
[sighs] Why does this
always happen to me?

54
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,640
Why does what always happen?

55
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:56,944
People always
forgetting who I am.

56
00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:59,379
I'm always
Marcia's younger sister

57
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,114
or Cindy's older sister.

58
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,016
Being in the middle
is like being invisible.

59
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:08,087
Oh, Jan, I really think you're
making too much out of this.

60
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,056
I mean, after all,

61
00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:13,661
you were the one
who was invited to the party.

62
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They won't even know I'm there.

63
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,788
Jan Brady will, that's who!

64
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:49,763
Dad, can I talk to you?

65
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,900
Sure, Peter, just a minute.

66
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:59,272
[whistles a tune]

67
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,255
Peter, what is it you want?

68
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:19,026
Well, I was wondering if I could
have an advance on my allowance.

69
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:20,528
Advance on your allowance?

70
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,663
I just gave you your allowance
for this week.

71
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:25,832
Well, I was thinking more like
an advance on next week's.

72
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,500
What happened to this week's?

73
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,937
Well, I saw the chance for
a really great business deal,

74
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,774
so I lent everything I had
to Jan.

75
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$4.49 at 20% interest.

76
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,646
What does Jan need
all that money for?

77
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She didn't say.

78
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:42,882
What do you need the money for?

79
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:46,185
Well, I was invited to Lucy
Winter's birthday party, too,

80
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:50,023
so I guess
I gotta get her a present.

81
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,925
That's probably what Jan
wanted the money for.

82
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,026
How much do you need?

83
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:57,297
Mm, 49 cents.

84
00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:59,867
49 cents?

85
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,802
Why exactly 49 cents?

86
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,605
Well, I figure that's what Lucy
spent on my present,

87
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,038
and I don't wanna embarrass her

88
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:07,940
by getting her
something too good.

89
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:09,976
Well, that's very considerate,
Peter.

90
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You owe me a penny.

91
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,781
Got it right here.

92
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,483
Thanks.

93
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,353
Oh. Huh.

94
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,254
Goodbye, Peter.

95
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,466
Are you looking
for someone, dear?

96
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,869
Oh, no, ma'am.
I'm looking for a wig.

97
00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:38,271
You mean for yourself?

98
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,740
Yes, ma'am.

99
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,841
Well, I think your own hair
is nice.

100
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,143
I love it.

101
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:46,112
I don't know why
you'd wanna change it.

102
00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:47,615
Well, I think
you'd probably know

103
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,550
if you had
two blonde sisters at home.

104
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:54,053
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.
I see the problem.

105
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,356
We want a complete change,
do we?

106
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:59,459
Yes, ma'am,
that's what we want.

107
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:03,163
Well, now, what style wig
do you have in mind?

108
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:06,399
I don't know.
Something crazy.

109
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,802
Kind of like the style
you're wearing.

110
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,771
Oh, this is my own hair.

111
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:14,040
Oh, I'm sorry.

112
00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:16,644
Not half as sorry as I am.

113
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,880
Well, now let's see
what we've got here.

114
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:26,920
There's early rust,
Pompeii pumice,

115
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:31,459
lunar dust, and here's--no.

116
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:32,893
[chuckles]

117
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,095
Hey, this one's kind of nice.

118
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:39,066
Oh, yes. That's your
midnight temptress.

119
00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:42,369
Hey, now, listen.

120
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,605
Don't you think
it's a little...mature?

121
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,007
Well, I'm older than I look.

122
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,408
I'm 12.

123
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,877
Oh, that old?

124
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,947
Well, you carry it very well.

125
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,550
Midnight temptress, huh?

126
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,018
That's right.

127
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,887
Well, I don't think
I'll be up that late.

128
00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:01,288
Oh. Well...

129
00:07:01,353 --> 00:07:03,690
Do you mind
if I kinda look around?

130
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,158
Oh, no, not at all.

131
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,761
And listen, with
each and every purchase,

132
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,297
you get a free Styrofoam head.

133
00:07:10,362 --> 00:07:13,233
Hey, this one's
kind of different.

134
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,769
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.

135
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,771
I wouldn't recommend that.

136
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:18,872
Why not?

137
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,206
It's a handbag,

138
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,141
and it shouldn't be over here.

139
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,677
Helen! Helen?

140
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,682
How many times
do I have to tell you?

141
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,684
Never mix the merchandise.

142
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,153
Helen, it is tacky!

143
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,590
Well, I'll just keep looking.

144
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,057
It's so embarrassing.

145
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,728
A little girl almost
walked out of the store

146
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,997
wearing this on her head.

147
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:49,002
What a diva.

148
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,103
Cindy, what are you looking for?

149
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,173
Hair ribbons.

150
00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:27,774
I can't go to Jenny's house
without them,

151
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,009
or else she'll get mad.

152
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,143
Why?

153
00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:33,212
Because they're her hair
ribbons.

154
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:35,447
When was the last time
you saw them?

155
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:37,384
Last night
when I took them off.

156
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,086
Hey, maybe they're in
the bathroom.

157
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,094
[jiggles doorknob]

158
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,897
[knock on door]

159
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:51,831
Whoever it is, I'm in here.

160
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:55,168
Jan, let me in.
I have to get my hair ribbons.

161
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,636
Come back later.

162
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,076
Come on, Jan, open up!

163
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,778
Would you let us in?

164
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,216
Grab 'em.

165
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:16,355
Jan, what happened?

166
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:19,158
The top of your head
turned black.

167
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:21,327
Don't be silly.
It's a wig.

168
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,830
Where did you get that?

169
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:23,996
I bought it this morning.

170
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,832
What do you think?

171
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:29,036
Jan, I think it looks awful.

172
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,770
Who asked for your opinion?

173
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:37,878
Oh, I've always liked
this dress on Jan.

174
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,047
[mumbling] Mm, this one's
one of my favorites.

175
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,280
You, too, huh?

176
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,750
[mumbling]
Mm, mm. Put it on.

177
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,350
Okay, yeah, I agree.

178
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,586
Honey, have you seen those
blueprints I brought home?

179
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:50,423
Oh, Alice, have you seen
Mr. Brady's blueprints?

180
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:54,161
Mm, oh! They're upstairs...
[mumbling]

181
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:57,264
She says they're upstairs
in the bedroom.

182
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,633
How could you tell
what she said?

183
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,701
Very simple.

184
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:05,138
[chuckles] Women.

185
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,874
Oh, honey, listen,

186
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,142
if you're going upstairs,
can you send Jan down?

187
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:11,244
I want her
to try this on again.

188
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,684
Jan, you can't wear that
to Lucy Winter's birthday party.

189
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,418
I don't see why not.

190
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:22,154
Because you'll look like
some kind of kook, that's why.

191
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:24,191
You're just jealous, Marcia.

192
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:27,394
Well, I'm not jealous.

193
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,229
Wait till my friends
at the party see me.

194
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,730
You know what they'll say?

195
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,264
Mm-hmm.

196
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:35,268
I can think of
a lot of things they'll say.

197
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,602
Very funny.

198
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,270
They'll say
for the very first time

199
00:10:38,337 --> 00:10:39,972
they've seen the real Jan Brady.

200
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,043
-Jan?
-Uh-oh, that's Dad.

201
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,611
I don't want Mom or Dad
to see me until I'm all ready.

202
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,081
Well, then you better
get ready in a hurry!

203
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,549
Yeah!

204
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:51,818
Jan?

205
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:53,485
Yes, Dad?

206
00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,087
Your mother wants you.

207
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,756
Do you mean now?

208
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:57,990
Yes.

209
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,426
Right now?

210
00:10:59,491 --> 00:11:01,894
That's what I said.
Right now.

211
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,464
You mean this very minute now?

212
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,700
This very minute now.

213
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,970
It's my hair.
I can't do a thing with it.

214
00:11:14,606 --> 00:11:17,576
Hey, Greg,
when's Peter coming back?

215
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,678
I don't know. He went
to buy a present for Lucy.

216
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,815
I got something
I better tell him.

217
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,615
What?

218
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,684
Guess who's gonna be
at Lucy Winter's party?

219
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,053
Who?

220
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,388
Margie Whipple. [laughs]

221
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,889
Her brother told me.

222
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:33,692
The one Peter says
is always chasing after him?

223
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,096
Yeah, and making those goofy
eyes at him and all that mush.

224
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,432
He's gonna love seeing her.

225
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,902
We better warn him
when he gets back.

226
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:44,504
Hey, wait a minute.

227
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,373
What would happen
if we didn't tell him

228
00:11:46,438 --> 00:11:48,808
Margie Whipple
was gonna be there?

229
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,144
Well, then he wouldn't know
till he got to the party.

230
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,780
Uh-huh.

231
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,384
Uh-huh.

232
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,787
[glass breaks]

233
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,793
You wanted to see me, Mom?

234
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:08,528
Jan! I thought--

235
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:12,331
I thought you washed
your hair yesterday.

236
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,134
Oh, I did,
but it needed it again.

237
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:19,538
Well, come on over here.
I wanna check a length on this.

238
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,640
Couldn't we do it later?

239
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,446
Jan, honey, if you wanna
wear this to the party,

240
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,581
we've got to do it right now.

241
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:29,783
Okay.

242
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,183
Come on.

243
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,986
Okay, Alice, you hold it up
while I take a look.

244
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,623
Okay. Oh, you're really
gonna knock 'em dead

245
00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:38,725
at that party
in this dress tonight.

246
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,527
-Thank you.
-Looks great.

247
00:12:40,592 --> 00:12:42,528
Goes so well
with your blonde hair.

248
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,899
Hold still, Jan.

249
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,201
Oh, it looks fine, huh?

250
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,503
Just right.

251
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,874
Mom, can we get a--

252
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:57,476
Hey, what are you supposed
to be, a fortune teller?

253
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:58,912
[both laugh]

254
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,513
Very funny.

255
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:01,881
Tell us, fortune teller,

256
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,917
what do you see
in your crystal ball?

257
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,317
Yeah, tell our fortunes.

258
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:06,519
Go away!

259
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,488
Hey, what's the matter,

260
00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:11,158
you lose your mystic powers?

261
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,559
Maybe they're under her hat!

262
00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,029
Jan!

263
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:21,500
What on earth?

264
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:25,004
[both snicker and laugh]

265
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,907
What's so funny?

266
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:32,544
Nothing...if you wanna
look like Davy Crockett!

267
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:34,681
What's going on in here?

268
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:40,120
She looks like she has a skunk
sleeping on top of her head!

269
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,422
Go away! Leave me alone!

270
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,390
Greg, Bobby, that's enough.

271
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,893
Here, Mrs. Brady.

272
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,094
Come on, guys.

273
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:50,096
I'll play you
a game of two-on-one.

274
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,566
I don't see what's so funny
about my wig.

275
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,602
Jan, where did you get that?

276
00:13:56,668 --> 00:13:59,005
I bought it,
with my own money.

277
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,006
Why?

278
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,408
Because I wanna wear it.

279
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,275
I wanna wear it all the time
from now on.

280
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,078
Honey, why?

281
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,547
'Cause I wanna be me.

282
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,381
I'm tired of looking
like everyone else.

283
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:10,817
I wanna be Jan Brady.

284
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,953
But, honey, Jan Brady
has blonde hair.

285
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,556
But nobody notices
that Jan Brady.

286
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,524
But they'll sure notice
this Jan Brady.

287
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,327
Jan, a person doesn't
make themself different

288
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,495
just by putting on a wig.

289
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:27,100
It's what's inside that counts,
not the color of your hair.

290
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,201
Well, if the color of my hair
doesn't matter,

291
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,503
why can't I be a brunette?

292
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,304
Well, honey...

293
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,140
Please, can I wear it?
Please?

294
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,076
Just to Lucy Winter's party.

295
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,479
Well, if it means
so much to you...

296
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,482
And if it's okay
with your father...

297
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,619
Okay.

298
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,788
Oh, thanks!
You'll see.

299
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,057
Things'll be different
for me as a brunette.

300
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,442
I bet I'm the hit
of Lucy's party tonight.

301
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:13,446
How do you think Kitty Karry-All
would look with black hair?

302
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,881
Same as Jan. Silly.

303
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,549
You think you're so smart.

304
00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:20,287
All you have to do is take
a look at the three of us.

305
00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:22,522
Which one you think
people would notice?

306
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,791
Me. I'm the shortest.

307
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,562
[blows air]

308
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,063
Pliers.

309
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,434
Does this look like pliers?

310
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,470
Mm. Mm.

311
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,105
Hi.

312
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,407
Hey.

313
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:44,811
Hi. [laughs]

314
00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:46,278
What's so funny?

315
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,815
[laughs]

316
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,219
What are you doing?

317
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,753
What does it look like
I'm doing?

318
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,687
I'm gonna wrap
Lucy Winter's present.

319
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:58,390
[laughs]

320
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:02,794
Oh, right.
The party's tonight.

321
00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:04,797
That oughta be a lot of fun.

322
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,033
Yeah, fun.

323
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,701
What's the matter with him?

324
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,803
Nothing.
He's just got the giggles.

325
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:13,639
[laughs]

326
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,908
Okay, something's up.

327
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,311
What is it?

328
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:19,578
Nothing at all.

329
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:20,879
-[snickers]
-Come on, Bobby.

330
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,115
You know something.
Tell me.

331
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,850
-No, I don't.
-I'll tickle you.

332
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,418
No, no, no! Aah!

333
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,254
-Tell me!
-No! Stop!

334
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,921
-Don't tickle!
-Talk! Talk!

335
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,990
All right, all right,
all right, I'll tell you!

336
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,793
Somebody's
gonna be at the party.

337
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,028
Who?

338
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,962
-Somebody.
-Who!

339
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,932
It's Margie!
Margie Whipple!

340
00:16:40,932 --> 00:16:42,934
No!

341
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:46,505
Ohh...

342
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:49,008
No!

343
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,777
You'll have a great time, Pete.

344
00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:52,979
Yeah, great,
with her chasing me

345
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,381
and making dumb faces
all night?

346
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:56,582
I'm not going.

347
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,284
You gotta go.

348
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,886
You can't promise
you're gonna go and take Jan

349
00:17:00,952 --> 00:17:02,322
and then not do it.

350
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:04,656
Not unless you were sick
or something.

351
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:06,125
Yeah, well, just the same, I--

352
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,060
["inspiration" sting]

353
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,130
What's the matter?

354
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:14,666
Ohh...

355
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:18,505
...am I beginning to feel sick.

356
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,708
[groans]

357
00:17:21,773 --> 00:17:23,143
Ugh!

358
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,982
So I thought you'd better
take a look at Peter.

359
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,019
Yeah, he doesn't sound so good.

360
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,721
He's kind of moanin'.

361
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:35,887
And groaning.

362
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,423
When did this happen?

363
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,691
Just a little while ago.

364
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:39,959
All of a sudden.

365
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:42,561
Never a dull moment
around here.

366
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,032
[footsteps]

367
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:51,570
[groans and moans]

368
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:56,542
Peter, what's wrong?

369
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,278
Oh, I don't know.
I just don't feel so good.

370
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:01,647
It kind of hit him
all of a sudden.

371
00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:03,415
Yeah, like lightning.

372
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:07,753
You boys better leave us alone.

373
00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:09,455
Sure, Dad.

374
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,790
[sighs]

375
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,826
Where does it hurt, Peter?

376
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,296
Kinda all over.

377
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,498
It's sort of a traveling pain.

378
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:20,833
When did it start?

379
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,434
Just a little while ago.

380
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:26,638
I guess I'll have to miss
Lucy Winter's terrific party.

381
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,210
It's that bad, is it?

382
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,711
Yeah. I'm gonna have
to miss it, all right.

383
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,948
Boy, am I unhappy about that.

384
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:37,549
Yes, we can see that.

385
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:41,320
Mike, don't you think
we'd better call the doctor?

386
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,789
Oh, yeah, yeah, right away.

387
00:18:43,855 --> 00:18:45,892
Doctor? I'll be all right.

388
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,626
See? I can sit up a little.

389
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,262
Dear, I really think it's better
if you stay in bed.

390
00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:52,332
Yeah, at least
for a couple of days.

391
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:54,267
But I got a ball game tomorrow.

392
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,134
Not if you're sick.

393
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,538
Wait. I'll be all right.
I feel much better now.

394
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:01,641
I'm sorry, Peter,
but we can't take any chances.

395
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:05,111
Look, I'm not sick anymore,
okay, see?

396
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:08,414
Can I play in my ball game
tomorrow, please?

397
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,784
Well, just to make sure
you're okay, Peter,

398
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:15,488
you can take your sister
to Lucy Winter's birthday party.

399
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:18,958
If you're okay after that,
then you can play.

400
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,593
That's a good idea, Mike.

401
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,762
I know Peter would just hate
to miss that party.

402
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:31,103
Yeah, I can hardly wait.

403
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,108
Come on, Peter.
What's the matter with you?

404
00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:39,746
You act like you're going
to the electric chair.

405
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:42,315
That would be better
than facing that Margie.

406
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,517
I think I'll lock myself
in a closet.

407
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,152
Well, you may not
have a good time,

408
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,320
but the new Jan Brady
is gonna be a smash.

409
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,390
Now, you go first
and sort of announce me.

410
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,659
I wanna make a big entrance.

411
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,564
[door opens]

412
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:58,397
Oh, hi, Peter!

413
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:00,031
Hi, Lucy, happy birthday.

414
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:03,001
Thank you.
Margie, Peter's here!

415
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:05,037
Did you have to do that?

416
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,140
Hi, Peter. How are you?

417
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,108
Where's Jan?

418
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,311
Oh, okay, everybody,

419
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:17,182
here's my sister,
the new Jan Brady!

420
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:20,787
Hi there.

421
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:25,191
Happy birthday, Lucy.

422
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,426
-Hi, Margie.
-Hi.

423
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:30,730
Jan, that's terrific!

424
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,163
Thanks!

425
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:35,201
It's the funniest joke
you've ever played!

426
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:40,072
You really look funny.

427
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:45,044
Hey, that'd be great
for Halloween.

428
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:46,712
Halloween?

429
00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:48,615
Yeah, Halloween!

430
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:57,324
What's the matter with her?

431
00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:00,792
Lucy, she didn't mean it
to be a joke.

432
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:02,894
You mean she wasn't kidding?

433
00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:04,596
Nope.

434
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,107
RuPaul:
I'm sorry, my dear.

435
00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,345
Sashay away.

436
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:27,953
[click]
Oh, honey, wasn't that good?

437
00:21:28,019 --> 00:21:30,690
-Is it over?
-Is it over?!

438
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:33,291
You were the one
that wanted to watch it!

439
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,228
Well, sure.
It was one of my favorite shows.

440
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:40,199
I'm gonna get you!
[both laugh]

441
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,742
Jan?

442
00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:53,445
Hi there.

443
00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:56,949
Honey, what's the matter?

444
00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:58,518
They laughed at me.

445
00:21:58,585 --> 00:22:00,353
They thought my wig was a joke.

446
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:04,256
Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry.

447
00:22:05,156 --> 00:22:08,094
Mom, Dad, you were right.

448
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,262
I guess I do look like some
kind of freak in this thing.

449
00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:14,567
Oh, honey, you just
don't look like you.

450
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:18,237
Well, Jan, your friends
like you the way you are.

451
00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:21,407
I sure wasted my money
on that thing.

452
00:22:21,473 --> 00:22:23,742
Oh, honey, I'm not so sure.

453
00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:28,780
Maybe you learned a valuable
lesson very cheaply.

454
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:32,151
Why didn't you wait, Jan?
I would have walked you home.

455
00:22:32,218 --> 00:22:33,920
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Brady.

456
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:36,021
-Hi, Lucy.
-Hello, girls.

457
00:22:36,087 --> 00:22:37,589
Jan, we're sorry.

458
00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:39,726
We didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.

459
00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:42,193
We thought the wig
had to be a joke.

460
00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:44,864
Your own hair, it's so pretty.

461
00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:46,132
We all envy it.

462
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,933
You do?

463
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,538
Will you come back
to the party with us, please?

464
00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:52,872
Well...

465
00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:55,173
Oh, honey, why don't you?

466
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,044
Well...

467
00:22:58,109 --> 00:23:00,246
I'd like to, I guess.

468
00:23:00,311 --> 00:23:02,248
Okay.

469
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,982
Come on!

470
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:06,986
Come on, Peter.

471
00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,488
No chance!

472
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:12,090
Pete, I thought
we had an agreement?

473
00:23:12,157 --> 00:23:14,093
Oh, yeah.

474
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,694
Okay, I'll go.

475
00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,465
Yeah, he's shy.

476
00:23:19,531 --> 00:23:21,333
Like father, like son.

477
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,969
[chuckles] Like heck!

478
00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:24,936
Oh!
[both laugh]

479
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:47,326
Oh!

480
00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:51,363
Oh, oh, oh!

481
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,699
I didn't--

482
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,035
Jan gave it to me.

483
00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:58,605
Whaddaya think, Mrs. Brady?

484
00:24:00,006 --> 00:24:03,576
Oh, well--well,
I--I think, uh, it's, um--

485
00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:07,346
Oh, well, what I mean is
I think it--

486
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:10,517
What do you think, Mike?

487
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:15,622
Well, I think it's--
I mean, it's--

488
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:18,356
It's certainly got a lot of--

489
00:24:19,357 --> 00:24:21,528
I think I need a third opinion.

490
00:24:21,594 --> 00:24:23,563
Alice, what do you think?

491
00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:27,799
It's unanimous.

492
00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:30,636
Oh, well.
I could always shave it

493
00:24:30,702 --> 00:24:32,438
and use it for a shower cap.

494
00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:35,340
[all laugh]

495
00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:39,111
And that's a wrap!

496
00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:41,079
Whoa-ho!

497
00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:43,382
[cheering]

498
00:24:43,449 --> 00:24:45,084
We've got some groceries.

499
00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:56,895
Hey, guys,
come on, come on.

500
00:24:56,962 --> 00:25:00,967
[cheering]

501
00:25:01,032 --> 00:25:03,536
Thank you! Thank you!

502
00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:19,484
Oh, the house
is falling apart.

503
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,421
He went to buy a present
for Margie.

504
00:25:22,488 --> 00:25:24,691
-Fuckin' A.
-[laughs]

505
00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:25,892
Oh, honey.

506
00:25:25,958 --> 00:25:27,459
What the fuck is the line?

507
00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:46,278
Jan!

508
00:25:46,345 --> 00:25:48,580
[laughs]

509
00:25:48,647 --> 00:25:50,281
Jan!

510
00:25:50,348 --> 00:25:51,217
Sorry. [laughs]

511
00:25:51,282 --> 00:25:53,318
You wanted to see me, Mom?

512
00:25:53,384 --> 00:25:56,122
[laughs]

513
00:25:56,188 --> 00:26:00,660
Sexy? I want a black wig
and I want it now!

514
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:03,328
How now, brown cow?

515
00:26:03,394 --> 00:26:05,564
19 kids. We have
two bags of groceries.

516
00:26:05,632 --> 00:26:06,932
[all laugh]

517
00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:09,567
Is that an Oscar
award winning performance?

518
00:26:09,635 --> 00:26:11,103
I think so.

519
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:12,904
-Honey, what's wrong?
-Honey, what's the matter?

520
00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:14,472
Fucking shit!

521
00:26:14,539 --> 00:26:17,143
Well, Jan, your friends
like you the way you are.

522
00:26:17,209 --> 00:26:19,211
It's the family who hates you.

523
00:26:19,278 --> 00:26:21,079
Okay, got it.
Okay, here we go.

524
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:28,153
Not bloody sick anymore. See?

525
00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:30,256
Can I play
in my damn baseball game?

526
00:26:30,321 --> 00:26:32,124
[all laugh]