1 00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,271 * MTV. * 2 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:13,514 NARRATOR: And now, a Paramount Plus made-for-TV movie. 3 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:17,618 "It's not a movie-- it's a made-for-TV movie." 4 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,788 * * 5 00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,723 NARRATOR: From the green hills of Vermont 6 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,892 to the verdant canyons of Arizona, 7 00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:27,961 people all over the country are beginning to realize 8 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:29,863 it's nearly over! 9 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:34,034 We have almost beaten COVID and the best news of all: 10 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,939 Infections are at an all-time low. 11 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,675 New, stronger vaccinations have ebbed the tide. 12 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,911 And we humans are cleaning up the mess 13 00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,347 and finally getting on with our lives. 14 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,650 But as we start to get back to our jobs and schools, 15 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,452 one question remains: 16 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,256 What lingering effects will the pandemic have on children? 17 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:58,959 Some say no effect at all. The children are just fine. 18 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,628 -(chiming) -We came together 19 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,130 and finally we can say, we are starting to 20 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,198 -win the war against COVID. -WOMAN: Stan? 21 00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,200 Stan, the phone's for you! 22 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,835 Stan! 23 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,304 What?! 24 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,340 Could you not hear me? 25 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,642 Yeah, dude, but I'm busy working. 26 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,477 Working on getting drunk again. 27 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,011 I'm not "getting drunk," 28 00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:20,080 I'm an online whiskey consultant. 29 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,415 I'm doing research. 30 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:23,451 Everyone needs to leave me alone. 31 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,486 The guy on the phone said it's important. 32 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,722 He said his name is Kyle Broflovski. 33 00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,091 Kyle? 34 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,696 -Hello? -KYLE: Oh, hi. 35 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:39,367 Is this Stan Marsh, from South Park? 36 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,035 -Kyle? -Oh, dude, it is you! 37 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,205 How have you-- How have you been? 38 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,807 I'm... fine. How are you? 39 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,242 I'm good, I'm... 40 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,678 I know this is weird. We haven't talked since... 41 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,713 well, you know, since it all happened. 42 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,417 Yeah, well, the pandemic is about over now. 43 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,918 I'm moving on with my life. 44 00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,421 Stan... you should come back here. 45 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,556 There's a lot going on. 46 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,193 There's nothing in South Park for me, Kyle! 47 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:07,195 I'm not going back there, ever. 48 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,630 Look, dude, you remember when we were little? 49 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,699 When the pandemic... first started. 50 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,434 Us friends said we'd always be there 51 00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:14,802 for each other when things got bad. 52 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,238 What do you mean? What's happened? 53 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,606 Stan... 54 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:21,775 It's Kenny. He's dead. 55 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,911 * * 56 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:38,626 * * 57 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:41,195 (audience cheering) 58 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,364 ANNOUNCER: Live from the Moderna Center 59 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,832 in downtown New York, 60 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,867 it's Late Night With Jimmy! 61 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:51,239 Tonight's guest, First Lady Tom Kardashian! 62 00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:55,976 And now here he is, the king of woke comedy, Jimmy! 63 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,145 (audience cheering) 64 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,447 Wow. 65 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,649 Wow, what a terrific audience. 66 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:04,017 What a fantastic audience, wow. 67 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,386 (cheering quiets) 68 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,021 Geez, what's the deal with these Mexicans, huh? 69 00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,290 (laughter) 70 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,124 I mean, they have fabulous food, 71 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,926 their country has amazing beaches, 72 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,230 and they're really fantastic people. 73 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,698 (cheering and applause) 74 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,667 Wow, what a great audience. 75 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:21,935 You know, today I was on the subway 76 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,238 and I saw an ad for the Center for People 77 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,708 Who Identify as Homosexual But Were Born Bi. 78 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,277 -(laughter) -Have you seen this? 79 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,544 Have you heard about this? 80 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,079 I'll tell you one thing-- 81 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,647 those people are brave and deserve 82 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,417 -every ounce of our respect. -(cheering) 83 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,851 S-Stick around. 84 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,687 First Lady Tom Kardashian is here. 85 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,789 We'll be right back! 86 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,090 (band playing in distance) 87 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,692 Jimmy, we got a call from corporate. 88 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,159 They want you to cut the hummus joke. 89 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,395 What?! 90 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,129 It's hard enough doing comedy these days. 91 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,898 Now I'm getting notes during commercial breaks?! 92 00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,000 You're just gonna have to joke about something else. 93 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,035 All right, fine, what else is going on in the news? Quick! 94 00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:58,339 Uh, Amazon thinks they might have discovered gold on Mars. 95 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,073 Ah, Jesus. Anything else? 96 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,376 Uh, that famous eccentric scientist died. 97 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:05,513 The millionaire philanthropist? Dr. McCormick? 98 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,650 Kenny? Kenny's dead? 99 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,352 Oh, I'm sorry, did you know him? 100 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:13,721 We were friends when we were kids. Let me see that! 101 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,023 ANNOUNCER: "Very mysterious circumstances." 102 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,292 That's what doctors are saying about 103 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,760 the death of beloved scientist 104 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,396 and humanitarian, Dr. Kenny McCormick. 105 00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,299 McCormick was a pioneer of science and technology 106 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,402 who was always trying to unlock the key to a better future. 107 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,772 He worked tirelessly-- some say balls-out crazily-- 108 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,574 on new inventions and theories 109 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:36,710 but somehow his biggest questions seemed to elude him. 110 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,879 The head of NASA said, "We have lost 111 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,714 "an innovator and a visionary. 112 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,016 "Kenny was so brilliant that most of the time, 113 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,786 we couldn't even understand what he was saying." 114 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,822 Get me a first-class ticket to South Park! 115 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,625 What? You can't leave! You have to get back onstage! 116 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,293 The first lady is here! 117 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,095 Tell Tom Kardashian to suck my 118 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,231 P-P-Popsicles that are in the green room, 119 00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:59,500 and that I am very sorry, 120 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,301 and that he is a fantastic person. 121 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,276 * * 122 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,249 WOMAN: Stan? 123 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,719 Stan, wake up, I think we're here. 124 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,030 So that's it, huh? 125 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,066 -That's the town you grew up in? -STAN: Yeah. 126 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,770 Well, how does it feel to be back after all these years? 127 00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:40,207 It feels shitty, okay? Can you please shut the fuck up? 128 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,743 Why did you even bring me along if you're not going 129 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,344 to let me help you through this?! 130 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:45,746 Alexa, stop! 131 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,015 ("Stir It Up" by Patti LaBelle playing) 132 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,283 (beeps) 133 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:53,286 * * 134 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:03,196 * I can't sit here while I go nowhere * 135 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:08,168 * Chase my dreams through the polluted air * 136 00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:11,572 * Walking on a wire * 137 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,240 * Running out of time * 138 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:16,944 * There's no room in this ol' heart of mine * 139 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:21,381 * So much pressure to keep holdin' on * 140 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:27,054 * Pack my clothes up, baby, I'll be gone * 141 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:31,124 * Stir it up, I've got to break it up now * 142 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,893 * When I think about tomorrow * 143 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,796 * I can't wait to * 144 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,031 * Stir it up * 145 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,867 * Got to shake it up now * 146 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,069 * If I have to beg or borrow * 147 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,671 * I don't wanna * 148 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,740 * Take it anymore * 149 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,009 * Got to break it up now * 150 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,845 * When I think about tomorrow * 151 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,515 * I can't wait to stir it up. * 152 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:58,051 MALE VOICE: Come on in and let your taste buds soar! 153 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,455 Denny's is now Denny's Applebee's Max. 154 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,956 Come taste the difference. 155 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:05,826 (woman speaking Japanese) 156 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:17,037 (soft electronic music playing) 157 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,040 (sighs) 158 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,043 -Hey, dude. -Hey, dude. 159 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,680 Wow. This is crazy, huh? 160 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,916 I mean, how long has it been? 161 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,785 I guess... since we were nine. 162 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,453 Well, have a seat. 163 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:35,923 What have you been up to? 164 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,457 Oh, dude, just all kinds of stuff. 165 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,026 You know, getting stuff going. 166 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,695 Got my own online whiskey consultant gig. 167 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,230 I'm totally happy. What about you? 168 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,098 Oh, I'm getting things going, too. 169 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,435 I'm doing a sort of counseling online start-up thing. 170 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,837 Really doing great, too. 171 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,339 -Sweet. -Listen, Stan... 172 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:55,976 I know that we disagreed a lot during the pandemic, 173 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,645 but I hope we can put that aside... 174 00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:00,247 Dude, Kyle, I'm just here for Kenny. 175 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,849 All right, well, 176 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,484 there's something you should know about the way Kenny died. 177 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,087 Hi, guys, welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max. 178 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,922 I see you got your menus already. 179 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,190 As you're deciding what to order, 180 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,525 I just want to go over a couple things. 181 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,960 Now, of course, it is the future 182 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,928 so we don't have any meat on the menu. 183 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,630 'Cause you know, here in the future, 184 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,866 we've all decided meat is wrong. 185 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,200 Yeah, we know. 186 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,035 Okay, and, uh, you'll see there's 187 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,237 some dishes made from insect protein on the menu. 188 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,439 That, of course, is because here in the future, 189 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,341 we've all learned that insects are a valuable and sustainable 190 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,645 food and we no longer fear it as a food. Mm-hmm. 191 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,280 We know, dude. 192 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,515 Okay, well, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate 193 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,351 to say anything, because, you know, it's the future. 194 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:41,521 We've learned to all just get along and love each other. 195 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,225 Look, Stan, Kenny was trying to find 196 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,460 the answers to some pretty heavy stuff. 197 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:50,130 He felt like there were people responsible 198 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,732 for everything that's happened. 199 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,433 Like who? 200 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,070 That's just it. Nobody knows. But whoever these people are, 201 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,707 they didn't want Kenny McCormick exposing them. 202 00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,875 Wait a minute. Token? 203 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,543 Yeah, it's me. 204 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,979 Just before he died, Kenny was texting me 205 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,815 that he was on to something huge. 206 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,416 And he was texting me, too. 207 00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,018 Saying he'd discovered something that 208 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,319 could change the world. 209 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,654 And then he died, 210 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,255 and the hospital won't say how. 211 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,090 And that got us thinking... 212 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,427 Oh, my God. They killed Kenny. 213 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,164 I'm just here for the funeral. 214 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,867 I don't want to be a part of anything else. 215 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,201 Dude, there might be people to blame 216 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,303 for ruining our childhoods. 217 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,105 So what do you wanna do, Kyle? 218 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:35,108 Go on some bullshit adventure like when we were kids? 219 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,444 Maybe, maybe we can call Jesus and Santa 220 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:40,547 and ask them for help. Is that what you want? 221 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:44,184 It's the fucking future, you guys. Grow up. 222 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,360 Hello, welcome to the Super 12 Motel Plus. 223 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,729 -Can I help you? -Yeah, Stan Marsh. 224 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,530 I have a room for one night. 225 00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:02,169 Okay, I see you're in one of our Mach Ten Super Plus rooms. 226 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,571 Now, of course, we only take Bitcoin 227 00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,106 and other cryptocurrency 'cause, 228 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,607 you know, it's the future. 229 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,609 We've all decided centralized banking is rigged, 230 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,479 so we trust more in fly-by-night Ponzi schemes. 231 00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:14,081 Yeah, I know. 232 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,319 So you walked out on all your friends and then 233 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,188 just hung out at a bar all day? 234 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:24,825 Alexa, fucking just go throw yourself out a window. 235 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,160 I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that. 236 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,463 Nothing. Alexa, turn on the TV. 237 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,867 Oh, God, you are such a piece of shit. 238 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,268 -(TV chimes) -You know, 239 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,104 if you had Remote Prime membership, 240 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,106 you could watch Amazon movies wherever you go. 241 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,674 Would you like to get started? 242 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,409 -No. -I'm sorry. 243 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,644 I'm trying to be fucking helpful. 244 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,147 Why don't you grow up and start acting like an adult 245 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,615 for once in your life... 246 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:49,817 Alexa, stop! 247 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,051 Fuck you! 248 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,754 (news theme volume increases) 249 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:57,624 Jon, I'm standing outside the South Park Flash Rail Max, 250 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,492 where hundreds of people are coming to 251 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:02,495 pay their respects to Dr. Kenny McCormick. 252 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:05,098 There's still no word from the hospital 253 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,300 on what exactly killed Kenny McCormick, 254 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,669 but letters sent to multiple news outlets reveal 255 00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:12,439 that he might have known his life was in danger. 256 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:16,643 Dr. McCormick said, "I am about to expose the truth. 257 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:19,112 "In the event of my death I have hidden away 258 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,714 "all relevant information. 259 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,717 My closest friends will know where to find it." 260 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,385 Dr. Kenneth McCormick. 261 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,255 He wanted to make the future a better place. 262 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:32,259 Too bad he died, 'cause the future certainly sucks. 263 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,528 * * 264 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,037 (doorbell rings) 265 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,373 * Someone's at the door * 266 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,375 * This is the doorbell * 267 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:51,879 * It's the future so doorbells sing. * 268 00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:54,047 Yeah, I know. 269 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,784 Okay, so you were right. 270 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,318 Kenny was on to some bad people 271 00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,387 and he hid something for us to find. 272 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,222 Yeah, I saw. Only problem is 273 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,656 I don't know what he's talking about. 274 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,625 But thank you for saying I was right. 275 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,560 You're welcome. It doesn't mean that you were right 276 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,929 about everything during the pandemic. 277 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:09,930 Because you weren't. 278 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,498 Okay, well, obviously 279 00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,433 we're never going to agree on certain things, 280 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,068 so we shouldn't talk about them. 281 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,805 Sounds good. So let's go to Kenny's wake 282 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,339 and see if anyone else shows up 283 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,108 who might know what Kenny's talking about. 284 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,043 Let's do that. 285 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,615 (busy chatter) 286 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:33,486 Hello. Testing. Hey, everybody. 287 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,056 It's amazing to see you all here for Kenny's wake. 288 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,725 Wow, what a great audience. 289 00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,327 Uh, for those of you who don't know, 290 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,829 my name is Jimmy Valmer and, uh, 291 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,764 I had to take an Asian airline to get here today. 292 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,566 You know what they say about Asian airlines-- 293 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,235 they're dependable and just as efficient 294 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,103 as any other competent airline. 295 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,672 (whooping and cheering) 296 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,541 What a terrific audience. 297 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,643 So many people have come for Kenny today-- 298 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,779 so many amazing friends I haven't seen in ages. 299 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,682 You know, I had a friend once who was a Polish hair stylist. 300 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,685 Talk about an amazing haircut at an affordable price. 301 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,288 (whooping and cheering) 302 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,823 Well, I know that we're all ready 303 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,791 to talk to each other and share our memories of Kenny. 304 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,660 So please just have fun and we'll see you 305 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,063 -at the funeral tomorrow. -(applause) 306 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,999 (electronic drumbeat playing) 307 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,334 * We are all, you and me * 308 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,504 * We are all living in the future * 309 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,673 * We are all in the future... * 310 00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,141 -(groans) -Stan? 311 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,277 -Stan Marsh? -Yeah? 312 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,679 Hi. It's Wendy. 313 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,982 Wendy Testaburger, wow. 314 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,050 Yeah. My husband, Darwin. 315 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,718 Hey, pal, how are ya? 316 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,921 Hey, guys. It's Tweek and Craig. 317 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,689 Oh, hey. How are you guys? 318 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:43,924 We're good. 319 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,392 (straining): I have a lot of anxiety 320 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:46,726 being back with all these people! 321 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,595 Wendy's told me a lot about you, Stan. 322 00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,864 How's everything with the family? 323 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:54,401 Excuse me, I'm gonna go get, uh, drunk. 324 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,736 -What's wrong with Stan? -We're just... 325 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,505 trying to find out what happened to Kenny. 326 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,574 I think this goes deeper than you guys realize. 327 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,979 Hey, Stan Marsh! Good to see you. 328 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,081 It's me, Clyde Donovan. 329 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,449 Oh, hey, Clyde. 330 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,784 What have you been doing during the pandemic? 331 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,386 Oh, you know, lots of stuff. 332 00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:16,423 Yeah, me, too. Sucks about Kenny, huh? 333 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,590 Hope they find all the information 334 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,559 -on that thing he hid. -You know 335 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,128 where he might have hid it? 336 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:24,697 No, I don't. But I bet someone here does. 337 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,900 It's really great to see you guys again. 338 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,502 These past few decades have been really tough. 339 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,772 Yeah, sometimes I think the pandemic really aged me. 340 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,475 Kyle, can I talk to you for a second? 341 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,246 -Dude, he's here. -Who's here? 342 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:43,216 -Cartman? -Yeah, but he's changed. 343 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,584 Changed how? 344 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,453 Yes, I know, it's been a long time 345 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,754 since we've seen each other. 346 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,122 I'm doing really well. 347 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,091 I'm actually the head of Gespetzah Synagogue 348 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,392 down in Colorado Springs. 349 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,461 Can you believe it? I'm a rabbi. 350 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,998 Yeah, you know, when the whole pandemic happened, 351 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,299 I think it changed me. 352 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,334 It really changed me for the better. 353 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:02,769 -It did? -No. 354 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,472 -He's fucking with me. -What? Oh, yeah. 355 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,175 Yeah, I get it, the Eric Cartman you guys knew 356 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,043 didn't seem like he'd become a rabbi. 357 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,179 But I found real meaning in the Torah 358 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,281 and then I found a great Jewish woman and... 359 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,284 let the spirit of the Talmud guide our lives. 360 00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:18,952 Okay, jut knock it off, fat-ass. 361 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,220 Dude. 362 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,821 Wow, that's very big of you, Kyle. 363 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,824 Still living in South Park and calling people fat-ass, huh? 364 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,127 Wait, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. 365 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,795 It's not fucking funny, Cartman! 366 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,398 Stop pretending you have a happy Jewish life! 367 00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,033 Hey, shoogina! I'm sorry, I couldn't 368 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,902 wait in the car anymore; I had to meet your friends. 369 00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,972 Oh, that's okay. Guys, this is my wife, Yentl. 370 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,674 I've heard so many stories about you all. 371 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,543 It must have been amazing to grow up 372 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,412 in these beautiful mountains! 373 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,981 Yentl? Her name is Yentl? 374 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:51,384 Can we fucking stop this and talk about Kenny, please?! 375 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:55,422 -Oh, is that, uh...? -Yeah, that's-that's Kyle, yeah. 376 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,490 I'm sorry, honey, can you just give me a couple minutes? 377 00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,392 I just need a few more seconds with them 378 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,527 and I'll be right out to the car. 379 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,029 Oh, okay, I get it. 380 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,396 Nice to meet you guys. 381 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,365 We'll see you at the funeral, I guess. 382 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,400 And I'm very sorry for your loss. 383 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,103 Bye, Mrs. Cartman. 384 00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:14,041 Okay, look, guys, Kenny and I were still really good friends. 385 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:17,144 He used to email me all the time about stuff he was doing. 386 00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,411 Yeah, me, too! 387 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,180 Well, so then maybe he also 388 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,149 told you that he was trying to find 389 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,950 the origin of the coronavirus. 390 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,718 What are you talking about? 391 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,855 Kenny was obsessed with how corona first got started. 392 00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,492 He was clearly on to something, and then he died. 393 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,894 I know we all want to solve this for him. 394 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,996 You know, in the Torah, when Abraham 395 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,298 first heard the word of God... 396 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:39,999 Just knock it off! You don't believe 397 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,534 a word of that shit. You're just doing all this 398 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,002 to get a rise out of me. 399 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,237 Kyle, you really think 400 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,672 I would spend 40 years of my life 401 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,340 just to get a rise out of you? 402 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,077 -Yes, I do! -Same ol' Kyle. 403 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,478 Well, I got to go, guys. 404 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,713 I'll see you at Kenny's funeral tomorrow. 405 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,684 Maybe he's really changed. 406 00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:01,521 No. He is fucking with me. 407 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,801 INTERVIEWER (on TV): Sometimes I feel like 408 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,170 things weren't supposed to be like this. 409 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,307 Like maybe there are others in control of the way 410 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,841 it all turned out. 411 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,043 Is that what you're saying, Dr. McCormick? 412 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,747 Are you saying that there are other people responsible? 413 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:31,118 I guess what I'm trying to say, Dr. McCormick, is... 414 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:34,954 your theories seem to point to some kind of people with power. 415 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:39,126 Let me put it another way-- we've all seen the pictures 416 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,594 of you working in Egypt, lecturing at MIT. 417 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:44,131 And you always seem to come back to this concept 418 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:47,400 of this mysterious organization who is to blame. 419 00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,469 -Let me put it yet another way, Dr. McCormick. -Hang on a second. 420 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,439 What was that? Alexa, freeze the video. 421 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:53,973 -What? -Freeze video 422 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,476 and reverse playback ten seconds. 423 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,513 Stop there. 424 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,352 Enhance image 20%. 425 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,886 Ugh. Whatever. 426 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,855 (beeps, whirs) 427 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:11,924 Shift right ten frames. 428 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,026 (beeps, whirs) 429 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,061 Enhance. 430 00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,696 (beeps, whirs) 431 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,731 ALEXA: Tegridy Weed? 432 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:22,302 Isn't that your dad's old marijuana company? 433 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,738 Oh, shit. 434 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,874 * * 435 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:38,050 Hi. Welcome. Welcome, my friends. 436 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,719 So blessed to have you here. 437 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,121 Hello, my child, thank you for coming. 438 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,090 -Yeah, sure. -Wait, Stan? 439 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,658 Stan Marsh? 440 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:48,328 Praise be! I haven't seen you in ages! 441 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,029 I'm sorry, do I know you? 442 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,464 Well, sure, it's me! 443 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,866 Scott Malkinson! Remember me? 444 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,936 -Uh, no, sorry. -I hung out with you guys 445 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,805 all the time when we were little. 446 00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,640 I was the kid with the lisp. 447 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,643 -Who had diabetes? -Oh, yeah, sure... 448 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,213 Great to see you again. 449 00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:08,715 Hey, guys. Great to see you in church. 450 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,883 -It's Scott Malkinson. -Who? 451 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,353 Scott Malkinson, I went to school with you guys? 452 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:14,754 Oh, okay. 453 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:18,725 Hello. Welcome. Hey! It's me! Scott Malkinson! 454 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,494 With the diabetes. No? 455 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:26,599 Kenny McCormick was a cherished son, a wise man, 456 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,134 and a wonderful friend. 457 00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,169 Kenny touched all of our lives and made 458 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:34,207 each and every one of us laugh, cry and ponder. 459 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:35,708 And in his death, 460 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,511 now we can reflect on our own lives. 461 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,880 Are we happy? 462 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,217 Are we the person we hoped to be? 463 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:47,820 Have we, like Kenny, given all that we can 464 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,056 to forgive those around us? 465 00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,724 For life is short, 466 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,794 and our family and friends must be cherished. 467 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:58,298 You know, in many ways, death is like diabetes. 468 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,133 You spend your whole life trying to fight it off 469 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,903 but ultimately it just wins. 470 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:07,574 And so let's take the time now to reach out to our friends. 471 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,108 To reach out to our family. 472 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,744 To tell our mothers and our fathers that we... 473 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,747 All right! All right! Who the fuck put you up to this? 474 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,916 Did you write this goddamn speech, Kyle? 475 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,685 Did you tell him to say all this stuff? 476 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,120 What the fuck are you talking about? 477 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,122 You know that I know something about Kenny 478 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,525 that I'm not telling you because it involves my father, 479 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,093 who I don't want to face! 480 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,762 That's crazy and you'd be able to face what happened 481 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,064 to your family if you weren't a fucking asshole! 482 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,601 Guys, please, this is a house of God. 483 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,035 You shut the fuck up! 484 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:39,205 You judge me, you all sit here and judge me. 485 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:41,040 Well, fuck all of you! 486 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,910 This is exactly why I moved out of this hick-ass town! 487 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,912 And I am going back home to the city! 488 00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:48,281 My child, please, we are gathered in Christ... 489 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,816 (mockingly): My child, please, we are gathered in Christ. 490 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,719 I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes. 491 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,156 He does remember me! 492 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,592 Alexa, start the car! 493 00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:02,329 Start the car? Where are you going? 494 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,764 I need to stop at a store and then we're going home. 495 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,433 What about the connection you just found 496 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,834 between Kenny and your father? 497 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,169 Alexa, find the nearest liquor store. 498 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,771 Oh, you wanna get drunk? 499 00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:13,773 Let me guess-- someone said something you didn't like 500 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,008 and it made you want to pound beer and wine? 501 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,910 It's not "pounding beer and wine." 502 00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:19,946 I drop wine shots into the beer. 503 00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,181 It's called a "smorgasvein" and it's very cultural! 504 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,151 Stop acting like a child and support your dead friend, Stan! 505 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:28,120 -You don't even have any... -Alexa, stop! 506 00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:30,723 (car beeps) 507 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,025 (tires screeching) 508 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,895 Thank you. Thank you, Father. 509 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:38,331 Hello, everyone. My name is Rabbi Cartman 510 00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:42,001 and I was Kenny McCormick's very, very best friend. 511 00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:46,272 Kenny was not a Jew, but he had so many 512 00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,007 amazing Jewish qualities. 513 00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,176 Qualities that I see in my loving wife 514 00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:53,846 and my amazing kids, that are right over there. 515 00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:55,615 Over there by Kyle. 516 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,950 And as we all return now to our homes 517 00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:00,820 and our lives, I think that-- a lot like Abraham-- 518 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,490 -let's not forget that... -Excuse me. Everyone? 519 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:04,924 Hello? 520 00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:07,026 Everyone, can I have your attention, please? 521 00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:10,830 We got results from the PNR scan of Dr. McCormick's remains 522 00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,065 and we now know the cause of his death. 523 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,536 -(murmuring) -Now we all need to stay calm. 524 00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:19,472 There is no reason to panic, but... 525 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,874 Kenny died of COVID. 526 00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,242 It's a new variant. 527 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:27,847 The COVID Delta Plus Rewards Program variant. 528 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,650 (all screaming) 529 00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:32,084 Everyone, please! 530 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,753 We cannot panic! 531 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:36,088 (all screaming and clamoring) 532 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:41,928 (whooshing) 533 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:45,398 (all screaming) 534 00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,105 That's it! We're all out of chin diapers! 535 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,875 Oh, God, we're all out of chin diapers! 536 00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:59,311 (frantic groaning) 537 00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:00,447 Zoom... 538 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,848 (muttering) 539 00:23:01,948 --> 00:23:03,583 Come on, come on, come on! Remote learning! 540 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,618 Come on, come on, come on! 541 00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:09,255 (horns honking) 542 00:23:12,459 --> 00:23:13,860 Alexa, what's going on? 543 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,829 ALEXA: There's some kind of road closure ahead. 544 00:23:23,369 --> 00:23:26,806 Set up a perimeter! I want all exit points sealed. 545 00:23:31,478 --> 00:23:33,112 People of South Park, 546 00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:36,048 there is an outbreak of COVID in your community. 547 00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,917 You are being quarantined. 548 00:23:38,718 --> 00:23:42,088 Hey, dude! I don't live here. I need to get home! 549 00:23:42,188 --> 00:23:44,924 Nobody is going in or out. 550 00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:48,060 We have confirmation that one person in this community 551 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,563 has never been vaccinated against COVID, 552 00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:52,899 so we must quarantine everyone. 553 00:23:52,999 --> 00:23:55,635 One person?! Well, who is it?! 554 00:23:55,735 --> 00:23:57,904 We are not allowed to say. 555 00:23:58,004 --> 00:24:00,106 But if you tell us who the unvaccinated person is, 556 00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:02,575 we can have them vaccinated and then this will all be over! 557 00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:06,178 We can't tell you who it is because, in case you forgot, 558 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:09,749 it's the future, and we don't single out or ridicule anyone 559 00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:11,784 for their personal beliefs. 560 00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:14,020 Gah! I hate the future! 561 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,922 What does this mean? 562 00:24:16,022 --> 00:24:17,924 Yeah, what's it mean, Daddy? 563 00:24:18,024 --> 00:24:19,992 I think it means... 564 00:24:20,092 --> 00:24:22,294 we're all stuck in South Park. 565 00:24:23,329 --> 00:24:25,932 (busy chatter) 566 00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:29,101 -(groans) -Okay, there we go. 567 00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:30,302 We'll get back with the results. 568 00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:31,771 Maintain six feet social distance 569 00:24:31,871 --> 00:24:33,205 and stay indoors. Thank you. 570 00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:34,406 Next, please! 571 00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:36,943 Yeah, listen, I have to get out of here. 572 00:24:37,043 --> 00:24:38,177 Yes, don't we all. 573 00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:39,679 No, no, no, I don't belong here 574 00:24:39,779 --> 00:24:41,213 and I don't have anywhere to stay. 575 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:43,049 They've shut down all the motels. 576 00:24:43,149 --> 00:24:45,317 Do you have any friends or family that you can stay with? 577 00:24:45,417 --> 00:24:47,119 No, these people are not my friends 578 00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:48,788 and I have no family here. 579 00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:50,723 -Oka-- (groans) -It's okay. 580 00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:52,291 They've set up an emergency shelter 581 00:24:52,391 --> 00:24:54,827 for all the people who were here from out of town. 582 00:24:54,927 --> 00:24:57,129 Where? 583 00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:03,002 (indistinct chatter) 584 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,613 PC PRINCIPAL: All right, everyone, listen up. 585 00:25:13,713 --> 00:25:15,047 No way. 586 00:25:15,147 --> 00:25:17,183 Welcome to South Park Elementary. 587 00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:19,451 We want to help you all be as comfortable as possible. 588 00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:21,854 So we will have quiet time from 9:00 p.m. 589 00:25:21,954 --> 00:25:24,290 to 6:00 a.m. every day. I don't want to hear 590 00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:27,259 any fucking gender-specific language in here. 591 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,562 And if anybody here casts a movie with someone 592 00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:31,964 other than the culture that that movie is about, 593 00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:33,600 you are fucking out of here! 594 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:38,337 All right, thank you. It is now 9:01. Lights out. 595 00:25:42,575 --> 00:25:44,811 * * 596 00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:53,052 It's been a long time since I've prayed. 597 00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:56,355 I don't know if anyone can hear me... 598 00:25:56,455 --> 00:25:59,225 but we all really need help right now. 599 00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:02,494 I know in my heart that Kenny didn't just die 600 00:26:02,595 --> 00:26:04,864 of some new COVID variant. 601 00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:08,334 I know there's something way bigger going on. 602 00:26:08,434 --> 00:26:11,871 But it all seems like so much to take on. 603 00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:14,540 Please, if there's anyone who could 604 00:26:14,641 --> 00:26:18,945 help see me through this, it would be a miracle. 605 00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:20,947 (water splashes) 606 00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:23,315 * * 607 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,728 (doorbell rings) 608 00:26:35,828 --> 00:26:38,297 * Someone's at the door * 609 00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,833 -(groans) -* This is the doorbell * 610 00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:42,669 * Apparently in the future * 611 00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:45,204 * All doorbells sing, sing, sing. * 612 00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:48,507 Yeah, I fucking know, goddamn it! 613 00:26:49,275 --> 00:26:52,411 Hey, Kyle. Oh, man, this is crazy, huh? 614 00:26:52,511 --> 00:26:55,147 The school is all filled up and the motels are shut down. 615 00:26:55,247 --> 00:26:57,049 I was, I was just hoping maybe we could crash here. 616 00:26:57,149 --> 00:27:00,086 Look, I, uh, I don't think that's gonna work. 617 00:27:00,186 --> 00:27:02,421 I figured Stan is probably staying with you, too? 618 00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:03,756 No. No, he's not. 619 00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:06,025 Oh, great! Then you have some extra rooms. 620 00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:08,928 -We're gonna be okay, kids! -KIDS: Yay! 621 00:27:09,028 --> 00:27:10,329 No, no, Cartman, I'm sure there are 622 00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:11,898 some other places you can stay. 623 00:27:11,998 --> 00:27:13,399 My family would be really comfortable 624 00:27:13,499 --> 00:27:16,602 in a nice Jewish home. Please, Kyle, for my kids. 625 00:27:17,536 --> 00:27:20,172 We promise we'll be good, Uncle Kyle. 626 00:27:20,272 --> 00:27:21,774 Please, Uncle Kyle? 627 00:27:21,874 --> 00:27:23,910 Please, Uncle Kyle? 628 00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:25,344 I can't believe this. 629 00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:27,313 Come on, kids! Oh, bless you, Kyle. 630 00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:29,181 Don't worry, I'll put them right to bed. 631 00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:31,383 You won't even know we're here. 632 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,652 Toda raba, Uncle Kyle. 633 00:27:33,753 --> 00:27:35,988 That's Hebrew for "thank you." 634 00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:43,796 (quiet chatter) 635 00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:47,399 Guys, doesn't this all seem a little too convenient? 636 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:48,634 What do you mean? 637 00:27:48,735 --> 00:27:50,002 I mean that Kenny's death is suspicious, 638 00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:52,104 he talks about people to blame and then 639 00:27:52,204 --> 00:27:54,406 he suddenly dies of some new COVID variant? 640 00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,208 You think it's a cover, Token? 641 00:27:56,308 --> 00:27:58,377 I think it's definitely suspicious. 642 00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:01,180 Speaking of suspicious, what do you call a trans woman 643 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,382 that walks into an abortion clinic? 644 00:28:04,216 --> 00:28:07,787 Her name is Rebecca and she's a fantastic person. 645 00:28:08,554 --> 00:28:10,757 Just seems all nice and buttoned up, doesn't it? 646 00:28:10,857 --> 00:28:13,125 It's a perfect cause of death and anyone who's trying 647 00:28:13,225 --> 00:28:14,894 to sort it out is quarantined 648 00:28:14,994 --> 00:28:16,796 because one person isn't vaccinated? 649 00:28:16,896 --> 00:28:19,866 It's true-- who wouldn't be vaccinated by now? 650 00:28:19,966 --> 00:28:21,267 I'm certainly vaccinated. 651 00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:23,635 -Yeah, I'm vaccinated. -Me, too. 652 00:28:23,736 --> 00:28:25,137 We're all vaccinated. 653 00:28:25,237 --> 00:28:29,208 Yeah, I mean, I-I think it's a personal choice. 654 00:28:30,843 --> 00:28:33,179 What does that mean? Are you vaccinated, Clyde? 655 00:28:33,279 --> 00:28:35,314 I'm... immunized. 656 00:28:35,414 --> 00:28:36,983 He's not fucking vaccinated! 657 00:28:37,083 --> 00:28:38,250 He's the fucking one! 658 00:28:38,350 --> 00:28:39,518 Hey, I just, I just 659 00:28:39,618 --> 00:28:41,620 need to see the research first, you know. 660 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:46,225 It's been 40 years, Clyde. That's enough research! 661 00:28:47,626 --> 00:28:50,629 Alexa, set an alarm for 7:00 a.m. 662 00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:56,168 Alexa, set an alarm for 7:00 a.m. 663 00:28:56,268 --> 00:28:58,470 Why don't you go talk to your father? 664 00:28:58,570 --> 00:28:59,671 Goddamn it. 665 00:28:59,772 --> 00:29:01,373 If there's some kind of connection 666 00:29:01,473 --> 00:29:03,142 with your dad's farm that can help everyone figure out 667 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:06,112 what's going on, then you need to talk to him. 668 00:29:06,212 --> 00:29:07,980 Can I just go to sleep, please? 669 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,949 Oh, poor you! Poor you! 670 00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:12,484 Stop being a fucking victim. At least you get to go out 671 00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:15,321 and do stuff. What do I get to do? 672 00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,990 -Okay, okay, I'm sorry. -Oh, okay, great. 673 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,725 You're sorry, again. 674 00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:22,394 By the way, I can tell you 675 00:29:22,494 --> 00:29:24,696 about some great deals on headphones at Best Buy. 676 00:29:24,797 --> 00:29:26,298 Would you like to know more? 677 00:29:26,398 --> 00:29:28,801 -Sure, yes, tell me more. -Okay. 678 00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:31,203 The Mark VII headphones have a new edition coming out. 679 00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:33,272 Should I add that to your shopping list? 680 00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:35,541 (sighs) Yes, sure, add them to my shopping list. 681 00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:37,576 Okay. I'll add Mark VII headphones 682 00:29:37,676 --> 00:29:40,312 from Best Buy to your shopping list. 683 00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:48,054 -(Yentl moaning) -CARTMAN: Oh, yeah. 684 00:29:48,154 --> 00:29:50,756 Yeah, you like that? Yeah! Yeah! 685 00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:52,791 Yeah, you like how Abraham trusted in the one true God?! 686 00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:56,628 -(moaning continues) -Yeah! Oh, oh, yeah! Yeah! 687 00:29:56,728 --> 00:29:59,131 Goddamn it! 688 00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:01,300 (moaning) 689 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,902 CARTMAN: Oh. Shh, shh. Hang on, honey. 690 00:30:03,002 --> 00:30:04,436 Hang on. 691 00:30:05,571 --> 00:30:07,006 Yeah, yeah, what's up, buddy? 692 00:30:07,106 --> 00:30:09,141 What's up is that I am over this! 693 00:30:09,241 --> 00:30:10,276 What are, what are you talking about? 694 00:30:10,376 --> 00:30:11,677 You know what I'm talking about! 695 00:30:11,777 --> 00:30:14,013 You know I can hear you through the walls! 696 00:30:14,113 --> 00:30:15,647 Okay, geez, I'm sorry. 697 00:30:15,747 --> 00:30:17,649 Sorry I was making love to my wife. 698 00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,085 No Jewish people have sex 699 00:30:19,185 --> 00:30:20,987 screaming about their love of Abraham! 700 00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:22,955 You are a fucking fraud! 701 00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:24,323 Is everything all right? 702 00:30:24,423 --> 00:30:26,058 Do you know that your husband once snuck 703 00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:28,360 in my room and gave me fucking AIDS?! 704 00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:31,330 -I'm sorry?! -Oh, my God, Kyle! 705 00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:34,400 If we are being too loud, please don't lash out at my wife! 706 00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:37,236 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I don't know what to say. 707 00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,671 Mom, Dad, is everything okay? 708 00:30:39,771 --> 00:30:41,740 It's all right, kids. Go back to bed. 709 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,710 Kyle, obviously you have a problem with us being here. 710 00:30:44,810 --> 00:30:48,080 I promise you that we will be gone first thing in the morning. 711 00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:50,149 That's probably best! 712 00:30:57,323 --> 00:30:59,025 (rhythmic rattling) 713 00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:00,492 -YENTL: Oh, yeah. -CARTMAN: Oh, yeah! 714 00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:02,028 -YENTL: Oh, yeah. -Oh, yeah, you like how Abraham 715 00:31:02,128 --> 00:31:03,262 -almost sacrificed his only son?! -Oh, yeah! 716 00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:04,296 -(moans) -CARTMAN: Yeah! 717 00:31:08,234 --> 00:31:10,269 Sir! Sir, the townspeople are demanding 718 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,071 to know when the quarantine will end. 719 00:31:12,171 --> 00:31:15,174 It'll end when we get the order that everything is safe. 720 00:31:15,274 --> 00:31:18,444 But, sir, the people inside are running out of supplies. 721 00:31:18,544 --> 00:31:19,912 They're saying they don't have nearly enough 722 00:31:20,012 --> 00:31:22,014 chin diapers and people are starting to fight. 723 00:31:22,114 --> 00:31:26,986 I have strict orders not to let anything in or out of this town. 724 00:31:27,086 --> 00:31:30,022 They'll just have to make do the best they can in there. 725 00:31:30,122 --> 00:31:33,425 Hopefully they can maintain some sense of humanity. 726 00:31:33,525 --> 00:31:35,027 SOLDIER: We got a runner! 727 00:31:35,127 --> 00:31:36,996 Another one trying to get out! 728 00:31:37,096 --> 00:31:38,364 Please! 729 00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:40,732 I just need to go to a sporting event! 730 00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:42,468 (gunshot) 731 00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:46,973 (school bell rings) 732 00:31:47,073 --> 00:31:49,341 (busy chatter) 733 00:31:50,276 --> 00:31:52,011 (yawns) 734 00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:54,046 (smacking lips) 735 00:31:54,146 --> 00:31:56,582 (toilet flushes) 736 00:32:00,819 --> 00:32:03,722 Hey, Clyde. Clyde, can we talk to you for a second? 737 00:32:03,822 --> 00:32:04,923 Sure, what's up? 738 00:32:05,024 --> 00:32:07,994 Look, Clyde, we all really respect 739 00:32:08,094 --> 00:32:10,562 your personal p-p-preferences. 740 00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:13,699 But we have things we really need to get back to. 741 00:32:13,799 --> 00:32:16,702 We've got jobs a-and careers, people who need us. 742 00:32:16,802 --> 00:32:18,704 B-But we're being forced to stay here. 743 00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:21,807 So could you maybe just-- just get vaccinated real quick? 744 00:32:21,907 --> 00:32:24,276 Oh. Um... 745 00:32:24,376 --> 00:32:26,678 Nah. I don't wanna. 746 00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,014 (all groaning) 747 00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:30,516 Look, I'm sorry, guys. It's for health reasons. 748 00:32:30,616 --> 00:32:33,452 I can't get vaccinated 'cause I'm allergic to shellfish. 749 00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:37,389 Clyde, there's no shellfish in the COVID vaccine. 750 00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:39,425 I know, but I read that sometimes 751 00:32:39,525 --> 00:32:41,327 in the lab where the vaccine is made, 752 00:32:41,427 --> 00:32:43,195 if somebody ate shellfish, 753 00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:44,696 then it can get cross-contaminated 754 00:32:44,796 --> 00:32:47,666 and have leftover residual shellfish-ness. 755 00:32:47,766 --> 00:32:50,436 So you're saying you won't take the COVID vaccine 756 00:32:50,536 --> 00:32:52,171 out of shellfish-ness. 757 00:32:52,271 --> 00:32:53,605 Yes, that is correct. 758 00:32:53,705 --> 00:32:56,242 Just a general sense of shellfish-ness. 759 00:32:56,342 --> 00:32:59,011 Everyone, you better come check this out. 760 00:33:00,512 --> 00:33:01,647 Look at this. 761 00:33:01,747 --> 00:33:04,016 CRAIG: The McCormick Science Wing 762 00:33:04,116 --> 00:33:06,185 at South Park Elementary. 763 00:33:06,285 --> 00:33:08,254 Yeah, so? I read about this. 764 00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:09,555 Kenny donated tons of money 765 00:33:09,655 --> 00:33:11,290 to build a science center for the students. 766 00:33:11,390 --> 00:33:12,758 Yeah, for the students. 767 00:33:12,858 --> 00:33:14,826 So why does it have a lock on it? 768 00:33:14,926 --> 00:33:17,029 * * 769 00:33:17,129 --> 00:33:18,230 (banging) 770 00:33:18,330 --> 00:33:20,566 (chain rattles) 771 00:33:26,772 --> 00:33:29,608 WENDY: This must be where Kenny was doing all his research. 772 00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:33,212 He didn't want to be found, so he used the school as cover. 773 00:33:33,312 --> 00:33:37,383 Uh, guys, why is there blood everywhere? 774 00:33:38,717 --> 00:33:40,219 Everybody see what you can find. 775 00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:43,355 There's got to be a clue here of who killed Kenny. 776 00:33:45,324 --> 00:33:47,226 (electronic drumbeat playing) 777 00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:49,061 * In the future * 778 00:33:49,895 --> 00:33:52,831 * We are living in the future * 779 00:33:53,599 --> 00:33:54,766 * It's the future. * 780 00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,068 (music stops) 781 00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:02,074 MALE VOICE: And we are the fastest growing retirement home 782 00:34:02,174 --> 00:34:04,843 in Park County. With our newest tower, 783 00:34:04,943 --> 00:34:08,247 we can now house over 600,000 old people. 784 00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:13,285 'Cause in the future you're old for a long, long time. 785 00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:16,988 (indistinct chatter, grumbling) 786 00:34:17,089 --> 00:34:20,326 (pained groaning) 787 00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:21,727 Can I help you? 788 00:34:21,827 --> 00:34:25,464 My name is Stan Marsh. I came to... 789 00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:27,799 visit my dad. 790 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,268 (knocking) 791 00:34:29,368 --> 00:34:32,971 Mr. Marsh. Mr. Marsh, guess what. 792 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,006 Your son is here. 793 00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:38,877 I don't have a son. 794 00:34:38,977 --> 00:34:43,149 Oh, come on, Mr. Marsh, don't be a grumpy pants. 795 00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:46,318 You tell that piece of shit that if he wants to 796 00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:48,787 talk to me, he can write an email. 797 00:34:48,887 --> 00:34:51,690 Tell that little pussy if I had any grandkids, 798 00:34:51,790 --> 00:34:53,659 maybe I wouldn't be so bitter 799 00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:56,295 at having such a little bitch for a son! 800 00:34:56,395 --> 00:34:59,131 -Hi, Dad. -Oh, hey, Stan. 801 00:34:59,231 --> 00:35:01,567 I'll leave you two alone. 802 00:35:06,071 --> 00:35:09,908 So, looks like the Broncos still suck. 803 00:35:10,008 --> 00:35:11,377 Yup. 804 00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:14,646 Well, it was nice seeing ya. 805 00:35:14,746 --> 00:35:16,182 Thanks for coming to visit. 806 00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:17,549 I didn't come to visit. 807 00:35:17,649 --> 00:35:19,251 Trust me, I don't want to be here. 808 00:35:19,351 --> 00:35:22,654 Right, like you didn't want to murder your sister. 809 00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:25,591 What happened to Shelley was your fault, not mine! 810 00:35:25,691 --> 00:35:28,660 Yeah, like it was my fault your mom shot herself! 811 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,696 Yes, it actually was! 812 00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:34,400 Your mom died the day her daughter burned to death! 813 00:35:36,368 --> 00:35:38,970 I'm just here because of Kenny. 814 00:35:39,070 --> 00:35:42,441 Why would he have Tegridy Weed in his equations? 815 00:35:45,711 --> 00:35:47,779 Dr. McCormick mentioned Tegridy? 816 00:35:47,879 --> 00:35:51,183 It seemed to somehow fit into some grand theory he had. 817 00:35:51,283 --> 00:35:54,953 He knew. He knew it was the way to fix it all. 818 00:35:55,053 --> 00:35:59,958 He knew... about the Pandemic Special. 819 00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:05,697 But, Mom, why do we have to leave? 820 00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:07,333 It's not safe outside! 821 00:36:07,433 --> 00:36:08,834 We aren't welcome here, children. 822 00:36:08,934 --> 00:36:10,836 We have to find another place to stay. 823 00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:12,871 Oh, no, this is just like when our people were 824 00:36:12,971 --> 00:36:14,940 exiled from the Holy Lands. 825 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,209 Mrs. Cartman, can I talk to you, please? 826 00:36:17,309 --> 00:36:19,211 -Uncle Kyle! -Uncle Kyle, 827 00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:21,480 why are you making us go? Why? 828 00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:23,048 Is it 'cause we're Jews? 829 00:36:23,148 --> 00:36:26,352 Mrs. Cartman, I'm sorry for last night. 830 00:36:26,452 --> 00:36:31,557 I was just... tired and it was extremely inappropriate of me. 831 00:36:31,657 --> 00:36:32,591 BOTH: Dad! 832 00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:33,892 I think Uncle Kyle 833 00:36:33,992 --> 00:36:35,794 is gonna let us stay, Papa! 834 00:36:35,894 --> 00:36:40,432 Uh, no, kids, I'm sorry, but we can't stay here with Uncle Kyle. 835 00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:44,069 Please stay. I am asking you to stay. 836 00:36:44,169 --> 00:36:46,472 Can we, Dad? We'll be good, we promise! 837 00:36:46,572 --> 00:36:48,807 You little ones are always good. 838 00:36:48,907 --> 00:36:52,511 * Mik-helm, Mik-helm, mit cloiska pudding * 839 00:36:52,611 --> 00:36:54,946 * Vil plotz vit laughter, too * 840 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,081 Stop it! 841 00:36:56,181 --> 00:36:57,249 (doorbell rings) 842 00:36:57,349 --> 00:36:59,585 * Someone is at the door! * 843 00:36:59,685 --> 00:37:03,389 -* Yeah! This is the doorbell! * -(yells) 844 00:37:03,489 --> 00:37:05,424 * It is the future! * 845 00:37:05,524 --> 00:37:07,393 They killed Kenny... 846 00:37:07,493 --> 00:37:09,561 because he was trying to stop it. 847 00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:11,430 Stop what? 848 00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:12,964 We found Kenny's lab. 849 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:16,034 All of his confidential work and his wild experiments. 850 00:37:16,134 --> 00:37:19,805 Kenny wasn't just trying to find the source of the coronavirus. 851 00:37:19,905 --> 00:37:21,840 He was trying to go back in time, 852 00:37:21,940 --> 00:37:24,443 and stop the pandemic from ever happening. 853 00:37:24,543 --> 00:37:26,878 * * 854 00:37:26,978 --> 00:37:30,215 (woman speaking Japanese) 855 00:37:30,316 --> 00:37:32,117 Okay, old people. 856 00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:34,453 It's 4:00. You know what that means. 857 00:37:34,553 --> 00:37:36,322 It's share time! 858 00:37:36,422 --> 00:37:37,989 (all grumbling) 859 00:37:38,089 --> 00:37:40,191 Who has something that they want to share? 860 00:37:40,292 --> 00:37:41,493 Mr. Garrison? 861 00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:44,496 I'd like to share my dick in your mouth. 862 00:37:44,596 --> 00:37:47,699 -(laughter) -M'kay. 863 00:37:47,799 --> 00:37:50,001 Okay, guys, let's settle down. 864 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:53,505 Look, I know sharing feelings is hard during this time of crisis. 865 00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:56,642 Is anyone feeling nervous about the new COVID outbreak? 866 00:37:56,742 --> 00:37:58,710 (grumbling) 867 00:37:58,810 --> 00:38:01,079 We don't want you to worry, because, you know, 868 00:38:01,179 --> 00:38:03,515 it's the future-- we all do everything we can 869 00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:05,517 to make sure old people don't die. 870 00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:07,085 (all groaning) 871 00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:09,154 Okay, if nobody else wants to go first, 872 00:38:09,254 --> 00:38:11,122 Randy Marsh had a little visitor today 873 00:38:11,222 --> 00:38:13,692 and he'd like to share that with all of you. 874 00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:17,863 Uh, hey, everyone. I had a special visitor today. 875 00:38:17,963 --> 00:38:19,498 My "son." 876 00:38:19,598 --> 00:38:22,233 Who hasn't come to see me in over 20 years. 877 00:38:22,334 --> 00:38:24,570 And I have some things I need to tell him 878 00:38:24,670 --> 00:38:26,505 but it's hard because... 879 00:38:26,605 --> 00:38:28,039 he killed his mom and his sister. 880 00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,509 Okay, okay, here's what happened. 881 00:38:30,609 --> 00:38:31,943 Oh, here we go, here we go. 882 00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:34,413 After the pandemic, my mom wanted a divorce 883 00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:36,214 and she owned half of the farm. 884 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:38,717 She didn't own half, she always hated weed, 885 00:38:38,817 --> 00:38:40,285 and she didn't do shit for the farm. 886 00:38:40,386 --> 00:38:42,888 He wouldn't give her half the farm, so I got sick 887 00:38:42,988 --> 00:38:44,222 of their fighting and decided to burn 888 00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,057 the whole stupid farm to the ground. 889 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,827 And his sister was in the barn and she burned to death. 890 00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:51,062 Because you locked her in the barn 'cause she wouldn't 891 00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:53,799 do her weed chores 'cause she hated weed, too! 892 00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:56,001 Yes, she had a marijuana problem. 893 00:38:56,101 --> 00:38:58,537 And so his mother couldn't take the loss 894 00:38:58,637 --> 00:39:00,572 of Shelley and so she killed herself! 895 00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:02,273 Which is your fault. 896 00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:03,642 You were the one who 897 00:39:03,742 --> 00:39:04,876 burned the family business to the ground. 898 00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:06,378 You guys are hearing this, right? 899 00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:12,283 So, Kenny spends years researching time travel, 900 00:39:12,384 --> 00:39:14,185 then suddenly Kenny dies, 901 00:39:14,285 --> 00:39:16,655 and all his fellow scientists go missing. 902 00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:19,391 Just leaving behind a trail of blood. 903 00:39:19,491 --> 00:39:21,727 Seems like all of the scientists were murdered 904 00:39:21,827 --> 00:39:24,262 so that nobody could complete Kenny's work. 905 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,764 All of them except one. 906 00:39:25,864 --> 00:39:27,666 In almost all this research, 907 00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:31,302 one name keeps popping up: Victor Chouce. 908 00:39:31,403 --> 00:39:34,473 It appears that Chouce was Kenny's right-hand man. 909 00:39:34,573 --> 00:39:36,141 But he was insane. 910 00:39:36,241 --> 00:39:38,276 He's been locked up for years inside a mental institution. 911 00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,612 Oh, come on. Now we're gonna start talking 912 00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,280 to certifiably crazy people? 913 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:45,283 Crazy or not, we find this Victor Chouce 914 00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:48,286 and we find where Kenny hid the information. 915 00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,422 * * 916 00:39:52,190 --> 00:39:54,426 (crazed chatter and wailing) 917 00:39:56,027 --> 00:39:57,496 WARDEN (echoes): Yes. 918 00:39:57,596 --> 00:39:59,197 Yes, that is correct. 919 00:39:59,297 --> 00:40:02,200 Victor Chouce is one of our patients here. 920 00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:04,770 What is the nature of your inquiry? 921 00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:07,439 We have reason to believe that Victor Chouce 922 00:40:07,539 --> 00:40:10,341 can answer questions regarding our friend's death. 923 00:40:10,442 --> 00:40:12,377 Could you put him on the line please? 924 00:40:12,478 --> 00:40:14,646 I'm afraid that's impossible. 925 00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:19,017 Victor is too unstable for phone calls. They confuse him. 926 00:40:19,117 --> 00:40:22,087 Well, can we come talk to him in person then? 927 00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:25,691 Yes, I believe that could be arranged. 928 00:40:25,791 --> 00:40:28,727 As long as the proper protocols are met. 929 00:40:28,827 --> 00:40:32,030 Is everyone in your party vaccinated? 930 00:40:33,599 --> 00:40:34,866 No. 931 00:40:34,966 --> 00:40:36,935 Well, then I'm afraid we can't allow you 932 00:40:37,035 --> 00:40:38,436 into our facility. 933 00:40:38,537 --> 00:40:41,640 But-but we have to talk to him! It's urgent! 934 00:40:41,740 --> 00:40:42,908 What'd they say? 935 00:40:43,008 --> 00:40:44,309 They're not gonna let us see him! 936 00:40:44,409 --> 00:40:47,112 It's some kind of goddamn conspiracy! 937 00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:52,317 (woman speaking Japanese) 938 00:40:57,055 --> 00:40:58,890 Listen to me, it's very simple. 939 00:40:58,990 --> 00:41:01,326 I need to take my dad out of here. 940 00:41:01,426 --> 00:41:02,561 He has to come with me. 941 00:41:02,661 --> 00:41:04,429 I'm afraid that's impossible. 942 00:41:04,530 --> 00:41:07,098 Senior citizens are in here to keep them safe. 943 00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:10,802 You know, it's the future-- we can't let old people die. 944 00:41:10,902 --> 00:41:13,338 -I told you, stupid. -Shut up, Dad. 945 00:41:13,438 --> 00:41:16,274 Look, there's a chance we can help fight this new variant. 946 00:41:16,374 --> 00:41:18,243 I just need him out for a couple hours 947 00:41:18,343 --> 00:41:19,745 so we can get something important. 948 00:41:19,845 --> 00:41:21,312 Well, why don't you just go get it? 949 00:41:21,412 --> 00:41:23,582 Because he won't tell me where it is because 950 00:41:23,682 --> 00:41:26,384 -he doesn't trust me. -Because he killed his mom. 951 00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:29,320 Look, I'm sorry, but this is the future. 952 00:41:29,420 --> 00:41:32,257 Nothing is more important than keeping old people alive. 953 00:41:32,357 --> 00:41:33,925 What if you took him out there and, God forbid, 954 00:41:34,025 --> 00:41:35,360 he crapped his pants? 955 00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:36,895 And then slipped on the old people diarrhea 956 00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:38,296 and hit his head? 957 00:41:38,396 --> 00:41:39,631 We'd have to shut down the entire country, 958 00:41:39,731 --> 00:41:40,699 for Christ's sake. 959 00:41:40,799 --> 00:41:42,668 Well, I guess that's it. 960 00:41:42,768 --> 00:41:45,236 Only one way out now. 961 00:41:48,574 --> 00:41:49,975 Kick him in the balls, Stan! 962 00:41:50,075 --> 00:41:51,442 -What?! -Kick him in the balls! 963 00:41:51,543 --> 00:41:53,779 -Come on, hurry! -Get your hands off of me! 964 00:41:53,879 --> 00:41:55,413 -Dad! -Goddamn it, Stan, 965 00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:58,416 kick his fucking balls so we can go! 966 00:41:58,516 --> 00:41:59,951 -Fuck! -(groans) 967 00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:03,955 Okay, grab his keys! Grab his keys, you stupid ass! 968 00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:07,693 (coughing and groaning) 969 00:42:07,793 --> 00:42:09,260 (alert beeping) 970 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,430 FEMALE VOICE: Warning. Warning. Old person has escaped. 971 00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:15,667 Old person has escaped. Warning. 972 00:42:15,767 --> 00:42:18,503 (woman speaking Japanese) 973 00:42:18,604 --> 00:42:20,371 (alarm blaring) 974 00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:25,110 (sirens wailing) 975 00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:26,978 All of these documents we found in Kenny's lab 976 00:42:27,078 --> 00:42:29,815 referred to possible origins of the coronavirus. 977 00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:31,750 He wanted to go back and stop it. 978 00:42:31,850 --> 00:42:34,686 But to stop it, he had to figure out how to bend time. 979 00:42:34,786 --> 00:42:38,657 Exactly. There's notes-- years and years of research 980 00:42:38,757 --> 00:42:40,058 that Kenny compiled-- 981 00:42:40,158 --> 00:42:42,227 all on the possibilities of time travel. 982 00:42:42,327 --> 00:42:44,295 CARTMAN (giggling): You silly girl. 983 00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:47,165 You, yes. Who's a little mister, yes. 984 00:42:47,265 --> 00:42:48,700 Who's a little hetzpah? 985 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,301 Who's my little meshugana? 986 00:42:50,401 --> 00:42:51,837 Excuse me! 987 00:42:51,937 --> 00:42:53,438 Geez, sorry, Kyle. 988 00:42:53,538 --> 00:42:55,841 Kenny was researching the nature of space-time 989 00:42:55,941 --> 00:42:58,076 to see if some kind of bending was possible. 990 00:42:58,176 --> 00:43:01,079 But then suddenly, all the research just gets cut off. 991 00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:03,048 Because whoever made the pandemic happen 992 00:43:03,148 --> 00:43:05,316 killed Kenny before he could go back and stop it. 993 00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:07,686 CARTMAN (giggling): Silly girl. Yes. 994 00:43:07,786 --> 00:43:09,888 Will you please knock it off?! 995 00:43:09,988 --> 00:43:11,489 What's the problem, Kyle? 996 00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,424 You know what you're doing, fat-ass! 997 00:43:13,524 --> 00:43:16,194 Goddamn it, why don't you lay off my fuckin' dad, Uncle Kyle! 998 00:43:16,294 --> 00:43:18,930 Moisha! He's never talked like that before. 999 00:43:19,030 --> 00:43:20,231 I'm sorry, Mom. It's just... 1000 00:43:20,331 --> 00:43:22,600 Uncle Kyle, he makes me so crazy! 1001 00:43:22,701 --> 00:43:24,469 That is not okay, Moisha. 1002 00:43:24,569 --> 00:43:28,273 But it's true, Dad. Uncle Kyle makes me crazy, too! 1003 00:43:28,373 --> 00:43:30,709 -(scoffs) Menorah! -Fuck you, Kyle. 1004 00:43:30,809 --> 00:43:32,778 (gasps) Hackelm! 1005 00:43:32,878 --> 00:43:34,746 You guys, listen. In Kenny's work 1006 00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:37,448 he talks about where he would hide important information. 1007 00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:39,885 He says his friends will always know where to look 1008 00:43:39,985 --> 00:43:42,620 if they just think like kids again. 1009 00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:45,657 Think like kids again... 1010 00:43:46,725 --> 00:43:49,527 I know where Kenny hid what we're looking for. 1011 00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:51,897 It's up his ass. 1012 00:43:57,535 --> 00:43:59,037 Who's the broad? 1013 00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:01,239 That's just my Alexa. 1014 00:44:02,107 --> 00:44:03,608 That's the best you could do, huh? 1015 00:44:03,709 --> 00:44:04,910 Is it even the new one? 1016 00:44:05,010 --> 00:44:07,445 -Excuse me? -Just ignore him. 1017 00:44:08,313 --> 00:44:10,348 Okay, fine, there's a new upgrade available 1018 00:44:10,448 --> 00:44:11,983 for your Amazon Prime membership. 1019 00:44:12,083 --> 00:44:13,451 Would you like to know more? 1020 00:44:13,551 --> 00:44:14,886 Not now, please. 1021 00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:17,655 Okay, so I guess just fuck me, then? 1022 00:44:19,424 --> 00:44:21,326 Uh-huh. 1023 00:44:24,996 --> 00:44:26,431 (car beeps) 1024 00:44:30,902 --> 00:44:33,138 * * 1025 00:44:37,608 --> 00:44:40,245 This was once such a magical place. 1026 00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:42,080 Can we just get this over with? 1027 00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:43,648 I don't want to be here. 1028 00:44:43,749 --> 00:44:45,250 You think I want to be here? 1029 00:44:45,350 --> 00:44:48,319 This is where I lost everything that I cared about! 1030 00:44:48,419 --> 00:44:50,488 And your mom and your sister! 1031 00:44:56,995 --> 00:44:59,030 Dad, there's nothing here. 1032 00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:01,199 Dad? 1033 00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:02,934 I think I can trust you now, Stan. 1034 00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:06,838 It's time for you to learn what your friend Kenny was after. 1035 00:45:06,938 --> 00:45:10,208 When the pandemic started, you were only a kid. 1036 00:45:10,308 --> 00:45:13,644 You don't remember the pain we all went through. 1037 00:45:13,745 --> 00:45:14,980 Yeah, I do. 1038 00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:17,883 We as Americans went through so much. 1039 00:45:17,983 --> 00:45:22,220 First, that incompetent jack-hole was elected president. 1040 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,723 Then the pandemic came, and then the race wars. 1041 00:45:25,824 --> 00:45:29,795 And then just when it seemed like we'd turned a corner, 1042 00:45:29,895 --> 00:45:35,200 Space Jam 2 came out, and we all just kind of gave up. 1043 00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:38,703 What we lost, Stan, was our Tegridy. 1044 00:45:38,804 --> 00:45:40,906 But it was all by design. 1045 00:45:41,006 --> 00:45:42,974 They needed us to lose it. 1046 00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:44,242 Who did? 1047 00:45:44,342 --> 00:45:46,878 Who would want us to lose our optimism 1048 00:45:46,978 --> 00:45:49,314 and start fighting with each other? 1049 00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:50,215 China. 1050 00:45:50,315 --> 00:45:53,251 -China? -China. 1051 00:45:53,351 --> 00:45:55,486 They're the superpower now. 1052 00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:58,456 The future is totally theirs and we let it happen. 1053 00:45:58,556 --> 00:46:01,092 A man in China had sex with a pangolin 1054 00:46:01,192 --> 00:46:04,062 and that started COVID. That man was me. 1055 00:46:04,162 --> 00:46:05,596 So I knew how to go back 1056 00:46:05,696 --> 00:46:07,098 and stop them from taking over... 1057 00:46:07,198 --> 00:46:08,800 Wait, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. 1058 00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:10,501 You started COVID? 1059 00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:12,503 Yes, but that's besides the point. 1060 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,840 China used me like they used us all. 1061 00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:17,909 So I came up with a way to help everyone fight back. 1062 00:46:18,009 --> 00:46:20,311 A special Tegridy weed. 1063 00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:22,747 You had sex with a pangolin 1064 00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:25,683 in China and started the whole pandemic?! 1065 00:46:25,783 --> 00:46:27,919 Will you listen to what I'm saying?! 1066 00:46:28,019 --> 00:46:30,721 Gal! I worked to create more Tegridy, 1067 00:46:30,822 --> 00:46:33,591 but China did everything they could to stop me. 1068 00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:35,326 They even got to my son. 1069 00:46:35,426 --> 00:46:38,329 Who burned all of Tegridy Farms to the ground. 1070 00:46:38,429 --> 00:46:40,665 But what you didn't even know 1071 00:46:40,765 --> 00:46:44,069 was that I had secretly created a new strain of weed. 1072 00:46:44,169 --> 00:46:48,173 A weed so powerful, I couldn't even call it a special. 1073 00:46:48,273 --> 00:46:50,375 It was more like an event. 1074 00:46:50,475 --> 00:46:53,011 I hid it away all these years. 1075 00:46:53,111 --> 00:46:57,715 And now it... is the key to saving us all. 1076 00:47:00,585 --> 00:47:02,453 (whirring) 1077 00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:09,327 -Where the fuck is it? -What? 1078 00:47:09,427 --> 00:47:12,597 The Tegridy Weed Special Event! Where the fuck is it?! 1079 00:47:12,697 --> 00:47:14,165 I don't know, Dad! 1080 00:47:14,265 --> 00:47:16,601 They got it. They took it! 1081 00:47:16,701 --> 00:47:18,536 There's even fresh footprints on the ground! 1082 00:47:18,636 --> 00:47:20,138 Oh, Jesus! 1083 00:47:20,238 --> 00:47:22,273 So maybe it wasn't the Chinese. 1084 00:47:22,373 --> 00:47:26,377 Yeah, no, it was definitely the Chinese. Oh, God. 1085 00:47:26,477 --> 00:47:30,048 That was it! That was the very last bit of Tegridy! 1086 00:47:30,148 --> 00:47:32,984 The only other thing I had were some seeds that I hid 1087 00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:36,922 up my ass, but they took them from me at the old folks home! 1088 00:47:37,022 --> 00:47:38,990 Wait a minute. What did you say? 1089 00:47:39,090 --> 00:47:42,093 I said they took them from me at the old folks home. 1090 00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:43,294 No, before that. 1091 00:47:43,394 --> 00:47:46,764 Oh. I said I hid 'em up my ass. 1092 00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:51,002 Jesus. It's so simple. How did we not get it? 1093 00:47:51,102 --> 00:47:53,138 Alexa, start the car! 1094 00:47:54,072 --> 00:47:56,307 There's no point now, son! 1095 00:47:56,407 --> 00:47:58,209 It's all gone. 1096 00:47:58,309 --> 00:48:01,512 It's all lost. All lost. 1097 00:48:01,612 --> 00:48:04,749 VOICE (whispering): Randy. 1098 00:48:04,849 --> 00:48:07,785 Randy. 1099 00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:10,021 Ah...? 1100 00:48:10,121 --> 00:48:12,590 MAN (over P.A.): ICU, please. Blue Team, ICU. 1101 00:48:14,459 --> 00:48:17,228 (indistinct chatter) 1102 00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,698 "Un-cle Kyle." 1103 00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:25,803 "Uncle Kyle." Say it, Hackelm. 1104 00:48:27,072 --> 00:48:31,109 -"Uncle Kyle." -Fuck you, Kyle. 1105 00:48:31,209 --> 00:48:34,812 No, no, no. "Uncle Kyle." 1106 00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:36,181 Fuck you, Kyle. 1107 00:48:36,281 --> 00:48:38,283 CARTMAN: Oh, my gosh, no. 1108 00:48:38,383 --> 00:48:40,318 We're so sorry about this. 1109 00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:43,121 CARTMAN: Hackelm, say "Uncle." 1110 00:48:43,221 --> 00:48:47,792 "Uncle. Uncle Kyle." 1111 00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:50,761 Fuck you, Uncle Kyle! 1112 00:48:50,861 --> 00:48:52,163 Hey, that was better. 1113 00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:54,099 It isn't gonna work. The hospital says 1114 00:48:54,199 --> 00:48:56,134 we don't have authorization to see Kenny's remains. 1115 00:48:56,234 --> 00:48:57,435 What?! 1116 00:48:57,535 --> 00:48:59,070 Sounds like someone doesn't want us 1117 00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:01,539 to see Kenny's remains. 'Cause we might find the truth. 1118 00:49:01,639 --> 00:49:03,474 There has to be a way for us to get in there. 1119 00:49:03,574 --> 00:49:05,843 -Ha ha. Fuck you, Uncle Kyle! -Hackelm. 1120 00:49:05,943 --> 00:49:08,179 STAN: What the hell are you guys doing here? 1121 00:49:08,846 --> 00:49:10,948 -Stan? -What are you doing here? 1122 00:49:11,049 --> 00:49:13,451 I've been trying to find out who killed Kenny. 1123 00:49:13,551 --> 00:49:16,054 I think I know where he stored the information. 1124 00:49:16,154 --> 00:49:17,255 BOTH: It's in his asshole. 1125 00:49:17,355 --> 00:49:18,689 -Yes. -Well, it doesn't matter. 1126 00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:20,291 They won't let us into the morgue. 1127 00:49:20,391 --> 00:49:22,027 Yeah, that's because you guys don't think. 1128 00:49:22,127 --> 00:49:23,394 Excuse me? We need to examine 1129 00:49:23,494 --> 00:49:25,430 the remains of Dr. McCormick right away. 1130 00:49:25,530 --> 00:49:27,065 Like I told the others, 1131 00:49:27,165 --> 00:49:30,001 only certified medical personnel are allowed to examine cadavers. 1132 00:49:30,101 --> 00:49:31,702 Stan Marsh, consultant 1133 00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:34,639 for Post-Modem Beveragetainment Online Services. 1134 00:49:35,873 --> 00:49:37,875 One moment, Doctor. 1135 00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,677 This is highly unorthodox. 1136 00:49:39,777 --> 00:49:42,147 We don't normally allow outsiders into the morgue. 1137 00:49:42,247 --> 00:49:46,251 That's understandable, Doctor, but luckily I am orthodox. 1138 00:49:46,351 --> 00:49:48,386 I don't think this is suitable for children. 1139 00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:50,721 You guys go. You were the closest to him. 1140 00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:52,857 We'll stay back and watch the kids. 1141 00:49:54,859 --> 00:49:56,627 I'm sorry we can't supply any chin diapers. 1142 00:49:56,727 --> 00:49:58,629 Just maintain social distance. 1143 00:49:58,729 --> 00:50:00,398 Middle cabinet, second from the bottom. 1144 00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:02,733 * * 1145 00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,117 Hello, old friend. 1146 00:50:19,217 --> 00:50:20,851 (rats squeaking) 1147 00:50:20,951 --> 00:50:22,420 Ah, come on! 1148 00:50:25,423 --> 00:50:27,292 Well, let's get him... 1149 00:50:27,392 --> 00:50:28,759 turned over. 1150 00:50:33,464 --> 00:50:34,732 Somebody's got to look. 1151 00:50:34,832 --> 00:50:36,501 I'm not reaching up Kenny's ass. 1152 00:50:36,601 --> 00:50:38,035 Well, somebody has to. 1153 00:50:38,136 --> 00:50:39,604 -Cartman, go ahead. -No, I can't do it. 1154 00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:40,938 If anyone should reach up Kenny's ass, 1155 00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:42,373 it should be you, Kyle. 1156 00:50:42,473 --> 00:50:44,109 I thought you were his fucking "best friend." 1157 00:50:44,209 --> 00:50:47,078 I was his best friend, but I am also married, 1158 00:50:47,178 --> 00:50:49,514 so I can't be fingering people's buttholes. 1159 00:50:49,614 --> 00:50:51,949 God, you guys fucking suck. I'll just do it. 1160 00:50:52,049 --> 00:50:54,219 Just like I always had to fix fucking everything else! 1161 00:50:54,319 --> 00:50:56,421 (rats squeaking) 1162 00:50:57,255 --> 00:50:58,689 (squishing) 1163 00:51:00,057 --> 00:51:01,992 You did not "fucking fix everything," 1164 00:51:02,093 --> 00:51:04,829 you just started acting like everyone else was stupid. 1165 00:51:04,929 --> 00:51:07,765 Oh, really? Because they were acting stupid? 1166 00:51:07,865 --> 00:51:10,168 Yeah, because you got all self-righteous about everything. 1167 00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:12,603 -I got self-righteous? -Yeah, you got self-righteous. 1168 00:51:12,703 --> 00:51:14,639 Do you know what fucking sanctimonious means? 1169 00:51:14,739 --> 00:51:16,641 No, Kyle, why don't you fucking tell me 1170 00:51:16,741 --> 00:51:18,343 what fucking sanctimonious means. 1171 00:51:18,443 --> 00:51:19,844 See, this is exactly how you acted when 1172 00:51:19,944 --> 00:51:21,612 -the pandemic started to... -Wait! 1173 00:51:21,712 --> 00:51:22,680 Hold on. 1174 00:51:22,780 --> 00:51:25,116 -(squishing) -We've got it. 1175 00:51:29,354 --> 00:51:30,821 -Oh, my God. -What? 1176 00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:34,091 It's got shit on it. That's dead people shit. 1177 00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:37,362 (retches) 1178 00:51:39,964 --> 00:51:41,566 What are you working on, Clyde? 1179 00:51:41,666 --> 00:51:43,568 I'm going through Kenny's journals again 1180 00:51:43,668 --> 00:51:45,136 to try to find some answers. 1181 00:51:45,236 --> 00:51:47,938 Seems like we just keep hitting dead ends, you know? 1182 00:51:48,038 --> 00:51:50,241 I'm just tired and I want to go home. 1183 00:51:50,341 --> 00:51:52,843 I know. I'm exhausted, too. 1184 00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,249 You want to maybe do a little bump? 1185 00:51:58,349 --> 00:51:59,484 Huh? 1186 00:51:59,584 --> 00:52:00,851 I was just-- 1187 00:52:00,951 --> 00:52:03,454 I've got some coke and I thought we could... 1188 00:52:03,554 --> 00:52:05,723 I don't know, do you want to party? 1189 00:52:06,657 --> 00:52:08,259 Fuck yes, I want to party. 1190 00:52:08,359 --> 00:52:09,760 -Really? -Fuck yes. 1191 00:52:09,860 --> 00:52:11,662 Oh, I'm so glad you're down. 1192 00:52:11,762 --> 00:52:13,731 Nobody else is even cool enough for me to ask. 1193 00:52:13,831 --> 00:52:15,466 It's pretty good shit, too. 1194 00:52:15,566 --> 00:52:18,603 (sniffing) Oh, man. Thank God. 1195 00:52:18,703 --> 00:52:19,870 Thank God I brought this. Here ya go. 1196 00:52:19,970 --> 00:52:22,673 Fuck yes. Let's fucking party. 1197 00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:25,109 Wait a minute. 1198 00:52:26,010 --> 00:52:28,279 -What is this really? -What do you mean? 1199 00:52:28,379 --> 00:52:31,516 This isn't cocaine, it's the COVID vaccine, isn't it?! 1200 00:52:31,616 --> 00:52:34,151 I'm not putting that shit in my body! 1201 00:52:34,252 --> 00:52:35,886 Forget it, guys, it didn't work. 1202 00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,355 (all groaning) 1203 00:52:37,455 --> 00:52:40,124 You guys were gonna trick me into taking the vaccine?! 1204 00:52:40,225 --> 00:52:42,327 Goddamn it, Clyde, we want to get out of here! 1205 00:52:42,427 --> 00:52:45,563 My body is a temple and I'm not taking that shit! 1206 00:52:45,663 --> 00:52:47,798 Let's just face it, guys, it's over. 1207 00:52:47,898 --> 00:52:50,134 We're never going to find what Kenny was after. 1208 00:52:50,235 --> 00:52:52,437 Whoever controls the world and killed our friend 1209 00:52:52,537 --> 00:52:54,104 is just gonna get away with it. 1210 00:52:54,205 --> 00:52:55,706 KYLE: Not so fast! 1211 00:52:57,942 --> 00:53:01,312 We did it! We found Kenny's hidden information! 1212 00:53:01,412 --> 00:53:03,248 -You did? -And now we can finally 1213 00:53:03,348 --> 00:53:04,249 learn the truth! 1214 00:53:04,349 --> 00:53:05,650 Whoever Kenny was after, 1215 00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:08,219 we are gonna take those fuckers down! 1216 00:53:08,319 --> 00:53:09,587 (beeps) 1217 00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:11,556 (static crackles) 1218 00:53:11,656 --> 00:53:15,860 The date is November 3rd. It is 2:07 p.m. 1219 00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,296 Dr. Kenneth McCormick will now be 1220 00:53:18,396 --> 00:53:20,331 attempting to travel back in time. 1221 00:53:20,431 --> 00:53:24,469 In order to stop the COVID pandemic from ever happening. 1222 00:53:25,270 --> 00:53:26,170 He did it? 1223 00:53:26,271 --> 00:53:27,638 Dr. McCormick believes 1224 00:53:27,738 --> 00:53:28,639 that going back 1225 00:53:28,739 --> 00:53:30,107 is the only way 1226 00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:32,810 to stop the people who have ruined the future. 1227 00:53:32,910 --> 00:53:35,413 In the event of Dr. McCormick's death, 1228 00:53:35,513 --> 00:53:37,315 he wants everyone to know the group 1229 00:53:37,415 --> 00:53:39,784 that is responsible for the way things are. 1230 00:53:39,884 --> 00:53:42,487 It is, "My three dickhead friends, 1231 00:53:42,587 --> 00:53:44,989 Stan, Kyle and Cartman." 1232 00:53:45,990 --> 00:53:46,724 What?! 1233 00:53:46,824 --> 00:53:48,526 Dr. McCormick says 1234 00:53:48,626 --> 00:53:50,728 that these three completely ruined everything 1235 00:53:50,828 --> 00:53:53,097 when they let COVID break up their friendship 1236 00:53:53,197 --> 00:53:56,401 and became argumentative, combative, pessimistic assholes. 1237 00:53:56,501 --> 00:53:59,003 (muffled muttering) 1238 00:53:59,103 --> 00:54:01,005 He says he hopes you guys are watching this. 1239 00:54:01,105 --> 00:54:05,009 (muffled shouting) 1240 00:54:05,910 --> 00:54:08,212 He spent his whole life trying to fix your broship 1241 00:54:08,313 --> 00:54:10,214 and then realized this was the only way, 1242 00:54:10,315 --> 00:54:11,682 'cause you guys suck. 1243 00:54:11,782 --> 00:54:14,385 -(loud zapping) -The sequence is active! 1244 00:54:14,485 --> 00:54:16,554 The historic moment is here! 1245 00:54:16,654 --> 00:54:18,356 Godspeed, Dr. McCormick! 1246 00:54:18,456 --> 00:54:19,857 (zapping continues) 1247 00:54:19,957 --> 00:54:23,160 Wait! Dr. McCormick, you forgot your chin diaper! 1248 00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,395 (alarm blaring) 1249 00:54:24,495 --> 00:54:26,030 Something's wrong! 1250 00:54:26,130 --> 00:54:28,633 -(explosions) -(electronic trilling) 1251 00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:31,302 (shouting) 1252 00:54:48,386 --> 00:54:51,021 (coughing) 1253 00:54:53,424 --> 00:54:56,160 All this time, the bad guys we were after, 1254 00:54:56,260 --> 00:55:00,865 who Kenny said ruined the future, was you guys? 1255 00:55:00,965 --> 00:55:03,167 Wendy, I've been trying not to say anything but... 1256 00:55:03,267 --> 00:55:06,170 your friends are all kind of douchebags. 1257 00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:10,107 * * 1258 00:55:10,207 --> 00:55:11,509 Kenny was right. 1259 00:55:11,609 --> 00:55:13,678 All this time, we've been trying to figure out 1260 00:55:13,778 --> 00:55:16,347 whose fault this all was. 1261 00:55:16,447 --> 00:55:18,282 It was our fault. 1262 00:55:18,383 --> 00:55:20,518 I remember when we were kids. 1263 00:55:20,618 --> 00:55:23,087 We were so optimistic. 1264 00:55:23,187 --> 00:55:26,857 We lost that. We lost our sense of fun. 1265 00:55:26,957 --> 00:55:29,226 Our sense of humor. 1266 00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:32,229 Maybe the pandemic was a big test. 1267 00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:34,765 And we all failed. 1268 00:55:34,865 --> 00:55:37,301 Let's face it, guys. 1269 00:55:37,402 --> 00:55:39,336 We killed Kenny. 1270 00:55:42,607 --> 00:55:44,141 Yeah. Kenny was right. 1271 00:55:44,241 --> 00:55:46,911 Back in the old days, we wouldn't give up like this. 1272 00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:48,813 We would have just set out to save our friend, 1273 00:55:48,913 --> 00:55:50,881 no matter how impossible it seemed. 1274 00:55:50,981 --> 00:55:52,850 What we would have done-- 1275 00:55:52,950 --> 00:55:54,485 and what we should have done then-- 1276 00:55:54,585 --> 00:55:56,387 was double down on our respect 1277 00:55:56,487 --> 00:55:59,156 and our love for one another and fight through it 1278 00:55:59,256 --> 00:56:01,592 instead of fighting with each other. 1279 00:56:01,692 --> 00:56:03,327 We can save Kenny. 1280 00:56:03,428 --> 00:56:05,062 We just have to finish his work. 1281 00:56:05,162 --> 00:56:07,665 How? We don't know anything about quantum physics 1282 00:56:07,765 --> 00:56:09,266 and time travel. 1283 00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:12,837 I don't know how. But we start by believing. 1284 00:56:12,937 --> 00:56:15,773 In each other and in what is yet to come. 1285 00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:19,309 We have to go back to being those kids we once were. 1286 00:56:19,410 --> 00:56:22,880 Even if it means calling Jesus or Santa. 1287 00:56:22,980 --> 00:56:24,715 Come on, guys, we've got work to do! 1288 00:56:24,815 --> 00:56:27,652 Sounds good. I'll be right back. 1289 00:56:29,654 --> 00:56:31,388 Moisha, Hackelm, kids, get your things. 1290 00:56:31,489 --> 00:56:32,490 We need to go now. 1291 00:56:32,590 --> 00:56:33,958 What's going on, Dad? 1292 00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:36,160 Your Uncle Kyle wants to go back and change things. 1293 00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:38,596 He's going to try and change the past. 1294 00:56:38,696 --> 00:56:41,198 But I like things the way they are. 1295 00:56:41,298 --> 00:56:44,168 Me too, Dad. Do you think he'll be able to do it? 1296 00:56:44,268 --> 00:56:45,736 No, kids. 1297 00:56:45,836 --> 00:56:47,572 Fuck Uncle Kyle. 1298 00:56:47,672 --> 00:56:48,706 BOTH: Yay! 1299 00:56:48,806 --> 00:56:50,808 -Yay, Daddy! -Fuck Uncle Kyle! 1300 00:56:54,679 --> 00:56:56,914 It wasn't supposed to be like this. 1301 00:56:57,014 --> 00:57:00,084 People were supposed to get kinder in the future. 1302 00:57:00,918 --> 00:57:03,554 I'm so sorry what happened to both of you. 1303 00:57:03,654 --> 00:57:06,390 It wasn't your fault, Randy. 1304 00:57:06,491 --> 00:57:08,759 It was all Stan's fault. 1305 00:57:08,859 --> 00:57:12,396 Yes, it was all Stan's fault. 1306 00:57:13,197 --> 00:57:15,332 Thanks for saying that, you guys. 1307 00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,868 I'm sorry Stan sucks so hard sometimes. 1308 00:57:17,968 --> 00:57:20,270 Don't give up, Randy. 1309 00:57:20,370 --> 00:57:22,239 Humanity needs you. 1310 00:57:22,339 --> 00:57:23,941 No! 1311 00:57:24,041 --> 00:57:26,176 I can't do it alone! 1312 00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:29,747 How can things possibly go back to the way they were? 1313 00:57:29,847 --> 00:57:32,082 (wind gusting) 1314 00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,361 It can't be. 1315 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:45,830 It's impossible. 1316 00:57:48,165 --> 00:57:52,436 It's the last little sprout of Tegridy. 1317 00:57:58,442 --> 00:58:00,611 I have to get you somewhere safe. 1318 00:58:00,711 --> 00:58:03,047 We have a lot of work to do. 1319 00:58:03,814 --> 00:58:06,050 * * 1320 00:58:10,588 --> 00:58:12,823 (footsteps echoing) 1321 00:58:16,661 --> 00:58:19,196 (people wailing) 1322 00:58:19,296 --> 00:58:22,299 (crazed laughter) 1323 00:58:23,934 --> 00:58:28,072 We just had another call asking to speak with Victor Chouce. 1324 00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:31,008 You're quite a popular man, Victor. 1325 00:58:34,444 --> 00:58:37,114 I wonder what all the fuss is about. 1326 00:58:40,117 --> 00:58:43,788 Don't feel like talking, huh? (chuckles) 1327 00:58:43,888 --> 00:58:46,123 You will. 1328 00:58:49,026 --> 00:58:51,328 * We are all, you and me * 1329 00:58:51,428 --> 00:58:55,132 * We are all living in the future * 1330 00:58:55,232 --> 00:58:57,568 * We can't get stuff 'cause boats are late * 1331 00:58:57,668 --> 00:59:01,872 * And nobody's working in the future * 1332 00:59:03,841 --> 00:59:08,145 * They don't sell tostadas anymore at Taco Bell * 1333 00:59:08,245 --> 00:59:10,380 * Welcome to the future * 1334 00:59:11,315 --> 00:59:12,917 * In the future * 1335 00:59:14,318 --> 00:59:16,854 * We are living in the future * 1336 00:59:17,955 --> 00:59:20,090 * It's the future * 1337 00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:23,260 * We're living in the future. *