1 00:00:06,043 --> 00:00:08,443 ‎NETFLIX 剧集 2 00:00:19,043 --> 00:00:20,603 ‎我在5岁时认识了哈珀 3 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,163 ‎那是什么? 4 00:00:23,243 --> 00:00:24,563 ‎鳄鱼 5 00:00:26,523 --> 00:00:27,723 ‎画得真烂 6 00:00:28,683 --> 00:00:30,323 ‎自那以来我们一直是最好的朋友 7 00:00:32,723 --> 00:00:35,163 ‎-没有人能破坏我们的感情 ‎-站住 8 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,482 ‎我们一直是死党 9 00:00:37,563 --> 00:00:38,803 ‎一、二、三! 10 00:00:40,763 --> 00:00:43,043 ‎我们非常向往爱情 11 00:00:43,123 --> 00:00:45,403 ‎因为我们的生活中没有爱情 12 00:00:46,683 --> 00:00:48,283 ‎我们喜欢观察别人 13 00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:49,683 ‎以一种健康的方式 14 00:00:49,763 --> 00:00:52,443 ‎“我发誓 杰西卡 ‎你知道我技术超好的” 15 00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:57,083 ‎“你敢再碰她一下 ‎我就宰了你 劈腿男” 16 00:00:57,163 --> 00:00:59,043 ‎-“不 宝贝 我…” ‎-“吻我” 17 00:00:59,123 --> 00:01:00,683 ‎也许不那么健康 18 00:01:02,883 --> 00:01:05,123 ‎我想这就是乱伦关系图的由来 19 00:01:05,203 --> 00:01:06,363 ‎(哈特利高中乱伦关系图) 20 00:01:06,443 --> 00:01:09,562 ‎我们年级谁跟谁勾搭上 ‎做了些什么 全都记录在上面 21 00:01:09,642 --> 00:01:10,483 ‎(口活 勾搭) 22 00:01:10,562 --> 00:01:11,643 ‎(手活 指撩 下流拇指) 23 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:12,683 ‎(偷窥 茶叶蛋) 24 00:01:13,483 --> 00:01:15,963 ‎除了我和哈珀 ‎没人知道这张关系图的存在 25 00:01:22,643 --> 00:01:24,203 ‎有些情事是我们亲眼目睹的 26 00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:34,723 ‎有些是我们听说的 27 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,283 ‎(手活) 28 00:01:43,123 --> 00:01:45,843 ‎艾蜜蕊 在吗? 29 00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:49,243 ‎而有些情事 ‎则让人想入非非 深陷其中 30 00:01:51,083 --> 00:01:53,403 ‎艾蜜蕊!别再盯着达斯蒂看了 31 00:01:53,483 --> 00:01:54,963 ‎(湿吻 真命天子) 32 00:01:55,043 --> 00:01:56,323 ‎(达斯蒂) 33 00:01:58,083 --> 00:01:59,563 ‎你走火入魔了 34 00:01:59,643 --> 00:02:01,043 ‎真命天子 35 00:02:01,123 --> 00:02:02,763 ‎(艾蜜蕊) 36 00:02:02,843 --> 00:02:04,403 ‎我就是想不明白 37 00:02:05,963 --> 00:02:08,523 ‎今年的主角将会是我们 38 00:02:10,523 --> 00:02:15,563 ‎然后我们前一刻还在参加音乐节 ‎下一刻就被那贱人毁了一切 39 00:02:16,123 --> 00:02:19,483 ‎我不想听你的人生故事 ‎你只需要告诉我今天发生了什么 40 00:02:24,203 --> 00:02:25,803 ‎(3小时前) 41 00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:38,163 ‎兜头盖脸!奶酪片贴脸 42 00:02:38,243 --> 00:02:39,603 ‎妈! 43 00:02:41,883 --> 00:02:44,963 ‎你能让他别再拿我当素材 ‎拍愚蠢的短视频吗? 44 00:02:45,043 --> 00:02:47,683 ‎等等 你脸上那是什么?怎么回事? 45 00:02:47,763 --> 00:02:49,083 ‎这是化妆 妈 真是的 46 00:02:49,163 --> 00:02:51,643 ‎你看起来就像缺爱的孩子 47 00:02:51,723 --> 00:02:54,723 ‎你想让别人以为我们不爱你吗? 48 00:02:55,323 --> 00:02:57,963 ‎开学快乐 我满脸愁容的闺女! 49 00:02:59,323 --> 00:03:00,483 ‎嗨! 50 00:03:00,563 --> 00:03:01,843 ‎你好! 51 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,403 ‎-你们打扮得真漂亮 ‎-谢谢 52 00:03:06,763 --> 00:03:07,643 ‎哈珀呢? 53 00:03:07,723 --> 00:03:11,043 ‎不知道 她没在家门口等我们 ‎也没接电话 54 00:03:11,123 --> 00:03:14,523 ‎奇怪 自上周的音乐节以来 ‎我就没有她的消息 55 00:03:42,043 --> 00:03:43,123 ‎车不错嘛 穷鬼 56 00:03:47,363 --> 00:03:48,763 ‎-搞什么! ‎-该死的! 57 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:51,443 ‎-臭婊子! ‎-奸夫! 58 00:04:10,163 --> 00:04:11,363 ‎(哈特利高中) 59 00:04:19,443 --> 00:04:21,403 ‎我忘了我有多讨厌这里了 60 00:04:21,483 --> 00:04:22,683 ‎亲爱的 我们回来了 61 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,882 ‎是啊 但还是不见哈珀的踪影 62 00:04:25,803 --> 00:04:27,883 ‎你今年打算和他搭话了吗? 63 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,603 ‎不 欲擒故纵就好 64 00:04:29,683 --> 00:04:31,243 ‎你们的四号巫女缺席了? 65 00:04:31,323 --> 00:04:32,883 ‎滚开 蜘蛛 66 00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:35,563 ‎嘿 艾蜜蕊 假期过得怎样? 67 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:36,483 ‎挺好的 68 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:37,883 ‎那就好 69 00:04:41,163 --> 00:04:42,603 ‎达斯蒂和我说话了! 70 00:04:45,083 --> 00:04:48,523 ‎“达斯蒂和我说话了” ‎好一个倒贴女 也太没礼貌了 71 00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:49,723 ‎可能她没看见我们 72 00:04:49,803 --> 00:04:52,203 ‎拜托 也不看看咱俩是谁 73 00:04:52,283 --> 00:04:55,123 ‎咱们可是颜值爆表的可人儿 74 00:04:55,203 --> 00:04:56,443 ‎她们当然看见我们了 75 00:04:58,083 --> 00:04:59,763 ‎-他才没有! ‎-他整个夏天都在这里 76 00:05:01,243 --> 00:05:03,803 ‎-你知道校长办公室在哪吗? ‎-校长办公室… 77 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:05,883 ‎那家伙是谁? 78 00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:08,523 ‎新来的 79 00:05:08,603 --> 00:05:09,843 ‎小帅哥 80 00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:13,123 ‎他是挺帅的 我看得出来 81 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:20,283 ‎旧楼梯那边 ‎有一张超火爆的性爱关系图 82 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,963 ‎名叫乱伦关系图! 83 00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:23,283 ‎-什么? ‎-性爱关系图是啥? 84 00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:24,323 ‎我的天 85 00:05:29,043 --> 00:05:29,963 ‎糟了 86 00:05:31,323 --> 00:05:32,683 ‎让一下 快点 87 00:05:37,923 --> 00:05:38,763 ‎不是吧! 88 00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:41,883 ‎儿童帮助热线有得忙了 89 00:05:41,963 --> 00:05:43,243 ‎(胎记老兄) 90 00:05:43,323 --> 00:05:44,723 ‎(高潮女王 埃斯特R) 91 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,163 ‎(杰西卡彭杰利 公然自慰) 92 00:05:47,923 --> 00:05:48,763 ‎手活! 93 00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:50,403 ‎(达斯蒂) 94 00:05:51,963 --> 00:05:53,963 ‎所有人都搞在一起了 95 00:05:54,043 --> 00:05:56,203 ‎三天无法走路 确实如此 96 00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:00,843 ‎-高潮女王! ‎-詹妮被拳交了!天啊 97 00:06:00,923 --> 00:06:02,763 ‎伙计 玛丽古德是叫床怪 98 00:06:02,843 --> 00:06:04,443 ‎这点我们早就知道了 99 00:06:04,523 --> 00:06:06,523 ‎天啊 看萨莎睡了多少人 100 00:06:08,403 --> 00:06:10,363 ‎天啊 不是吧? 101 00:06:10,443 --> 00:06:11,443 ‎(格里塔 四次高潮) 102 00:06:12,043 --> 00:06:15,243 ‎你和格里塔巴思盖特互相摩擦了? ‎那是我们分手前还是分手后? 103 00:06:15,323 --> 00:06:16,323 ‎我不记得了 104 00:06:16,403 --> 00:06:17,643 ‎你不记得了? 105 00:06:17,723 --> 00:06:20,883 ‎我很确定我们当时分手了 ‎但是…等一下 米西 106 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:22,323 ‎不 我需要静一静 107 00:06:23,043 --> 00:06:23,923 ‎不是吧 108 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:28,883 ‎达伦给你打手枪? ‎厉害了 兄弟 你现在喜欢男人了? 109 00:06:28,963 --> 00:06:30,043 ‎这有点无耻吧? 110 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,443 ‎谁说我是男的? 111 00:06:31,523 --> 00:06:32,563 ‎为什么不告诉我们? 112 00:06:33,123 --> 00:06:34,123 ‎没关系 113 00:06:36,203 --> 00:06:37,083 ‎(蜘蛛) 114 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,163 ‎奎妮 松弛妹 115 00:06:39,883 --> 00:06:44,603 ‎才不是这样 什么是松弛妹? ‎蜘蛛 松弛妹是什么意思? 116 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,603 ‎有谁见到哈珀了吗? 117 00:06:51,803 --> 00:06:55,523 ‎上面写的几乎都是我们年级的人 ‎肯定是我们认识的人干的 118 00:06:56,323 --> 00:06:58,803 ‎估计不是蜘蛛就是那些白痴中的一个 119 00:06:59,603 --> 00:07:00,923 ‎反正大部分内容都是胡扯 120 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,163 ‎格里塔的事是胡扯吗? 121 00:07:03,483 --> 00:07:04,883 ‎太疯狂了 对吧? 122 00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:09,323 ‎见鬼了 那是哈珀吗? 123 00:07:10,123 --> 00:07:12,003 ‎-天啊 她的头发 ‎-她没事吧? 124 00:07:13,923 --> 00:07:15,163 ‎投降吧 小11 125 00:07:15,243 --> 00:07:18,123 ‎哈珀 126 00:07:18,843 --> 00:07:21,203 ‎坐下 艾蜜蕊 127 00:07:21,283 --> 00:07:22,643 ‎是啊 好奇怪 128 00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:38,563 ‎我是个觉醒的新时代女性 129 00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:44,043 ‎我和所有人一样享受性爱 130 00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:46,883 ‎-真不想知道这种事 ‎-就是 131 00:07:47,363 --> 00:07:51,123 ‎但名誉比什么都重要 而这张关系图 132 00:07:52,363 --> 00:07:55,003 ‎不仅损害了你们的名声 133 00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,523 ‎还毁了学校的声誉 134 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,323 ‎-而且还是在开学第一天 ‎-哈珀 135 00:07:59,403 --> 00:08:02,603 ‎我们目前正在联系 136 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:06,243 ‎关系图上所有当事人的父母 137 00:08:06,323 --> 00:08:12,403 ‎我们强烈建议大家 ‎终止一切派对、舞会或聚会活动 138 00:08:13,643 --> 00:08:15,883 ‎你们无权限制我们 校长 139 00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:21,323 ‎嘿!无人监督的派对意味着酒精 140 00:08:21,403 --> 00:08:24,323 ‎酒精意味着不明智的选择 141 00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:26,883 ‎这张关系图上 142 00:08:26,963 --> 00:08:31,203 ‎列出的各种冒险行为是不可接受的 143 00:08:31,883 --> 00:08:36,003 ‎哈特利高中素以环境安全著称 144 00:08:36,923 --> 00:08:41,043 ‎但显然这事给我们敲响了警钟 ‎说明我们做得还不够 145 00:08:42,163 --> 00:08:44,363 ‎我们一定会查出是谁干的 146 00:08:46,842 --> 00:08:48,043 ‎回去上课吧 147 00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,283 ‎快去 148 00:08:51,843 --> 00:08:52,963 ‎蜘蛛 是你干的吗? 149 00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:55,763 ‎哈珀! 150 00:08:55,843 --> 00:08:58,443 ‎瓦迪亚小姐 跟我来一下 151 00:09:03,763 --> 00:09:06,883 ‎我今早被好好上了一课 艾蜜蕊 152 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,963 ‎“手活”?这个我知道 153 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,083 ‎“半硬”? 154 00:09:12,163 --> 00:09:13,123 ‎(琼小狗) 155 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:16,443 ‎“舌头戳屁眼” ‎这个我应该能猜出来 156 00:09:17,563 --> 00:09:18,883 ‎我知道是你干的 艾蜜蕊 157 00:09:18,963 --> 00:09:23,003 ‎我们有一名校工 ‎曾多次看到你出现在那个楼梯间 158 00:09:24,403 --> 00:09:25,603 ‎还有谁参与其中? 159 00:09:26,563 --> 00:09:28,563 ‎你一贯的共犯哈珀? 160 00:09:30,763 --> 00:09:32,203 ‎没有其他参与者了 161 00:09:33,763 --> 00:09:36,163 ‎你知道我刚刚跟谁通完电话吗? 162 00:09:37,563 --> 00:09:41,443 ‎《卫报》的记者 艾蜜蕊 《卫报》 163 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:43,723 ‎好的 164 00:09:43,803 --> 00:09:46,203 ‎这些行为都是双方自愿的吗? 165 00:09:46,843 --> 00:09:47,683 ‎我想是吧 166 00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:50,363 ‎你的朋友们采取保护措施了吗? 167 00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:52,163 ‎我不太清楚 168 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:57,123 ‎你既然知道阿莉莎和妮娜互相摩擦 169 00:09:57,203 --> 00:09:59,843 ‎怎么会不知道 ‎他们有没有采取避孕措施? 170 00:09:59,923 --> 00:10:02,483 ‎我想互相摩擦这种行为 171 00:10:02,563 --> 00:10:04,563 ‎应该用不着避孕吧 校长 172 00:10:04,643 --> 00:10:07,403 ‎你这个假设非常危险 艾蜜蕊 173 00:10:08,283 --> 00:10:10,603 ‎我们要怎么做才能让你们明白? 174 00:10:10,683 --> 00:10:13,123 ‎我们教育课也上过了 ‎教育录像也看过了 175 00:10:13,203 --> 00:10:18,323 ‎甚至还请来了警察做咨询 ‎然而还是闹出了这出关系图闹剧 176 00:10:19,603 --> 00:10:23,843 ‎你只要有任何不当行为 ‎上课迟到 违规使用手机 177 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:27,003 ‎我就会立刻开除你 听懂了吗? 178 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,683 ‎我可以回教室了吗? 179 00:10:31,763 --> 00:10:32,763 ‎是的 你可以回去了 180 00:10:32,843 --> 00:10:33,683 ‎-好的 ‎-等等! 181 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:39,483 ‎乱伦关系图这个名字应该只是俏皮话 182 00:10:39,563 --> 00:10:40,483 ‎不是真的吧… 183 00:10:40,563 --> 00:10:41,763 ‎俏皮话而已 校长 184 00:10:41,843 --> 00:10:45,843 ‎那就好 在我开除你之前 ‎赶紧滚出我的办公室 185 00:10:45,923 --> 00:10:48,323 ‎我数三声 一、二、三! 186 00:10:52,123 --> 00:10:52,963 ‎天啊 187 00:10:57,363 --> 00:10:59,123 ‎你怎么不回我短信? 188 00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:01,923 ‎哈珀!你跑哪去了? 189 00:11:02,003 --> 00:11:07,243 ‎先说你的头发 很前卫 但我喜欢 ‎另外 伍德西知道了 190 00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:11,163 ‎-我没有供出你 不用担心 ‎-我并不担心 191 00:11:11,243 --> 00:11:14,803 ‎还有 达斯蒂跟我说话了 ‎所以我们离正式交往… 192 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,003 ‎我不在乎 193 00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:19,683 ‎你怎么了?没听到我说话吗? ‎我把你的锅也背下来了 194 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,283 ‎我又没求你这么做 195 00:11:21,363 --> 00:11:23,803 ‎-说什么呢 你可是我的死党 ‎-现在不是了 196 00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:25,563 ‎-你在说什么? ‎-滚开 197 00:11:27,123 --> 00:11:29,883 ‎-好吧 哈珀 我不明白 ‎-你当然不明白 198 00:11:29,963 --> 00:11:31,203 ‎那就告诉我啊 199 00:11:31,283 --> 00:11:34,203 ‎离我远点 我要跟你绝交! 200 00:11:34,283 --> 00:11:35,243 ‎打架了! 201 00:11:36,643 --> 00:11:38,443 ‎你发什么疯 哈珀?住手! 202 00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,563 ‎你为什么要这样? 203 00:11:45,043 --> 00:11:46,203 ‎你有什么毛病? 204 00:12:03,243 --> 00:12:05,283 ‎好恶心 205 00:12:14,403 --> 00:12:15,363 ‎我爱你 206 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,203 ‎我们要永远在一起 好吗? 207 00:12:49,563 --> 00:12:52,123 ‎她为什么要做那种事?疯婆娘 208 00:12:52,883 --> 00:12:54,803 ‎我妈非杀了我不可 都是她害的 209 00:13:06,003 --> 00:13:07,003 ‎小萨! 210 00:13:10,603 --> 00:13:11,923 ‎看来你选择站在她那边? 211 00:13:12,563 --> 00:13:16,043 ‎你在逗我吧?你犯众怒了 姐妹 212 00:13:16,123 --> 00:13:18,723 ‎你害得别人分手 被迫出柜 213 00:13:19,403 --> 00:13:21,683 ‎还有米西和我分手后 ‎为了维持朋友关系 214 00:13:21,763 --> 00:13:23,723 ‎而付出的努力 全都白费了 215 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,443 ‎变得毫无意义 因为… 216 00:13:25,523 --> 00:13:26,803 ‎哈珀也有份绘制那张关系图 217 00:13:28,563 --> 00:13:30,123 ‎知道吗 我特别反感 218 00:13:30,203 --> 00:13:32,883 ‎那种做事不敢承担责任的人 219 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:38,003 ‎我希望你没事 真的 220 00:13:38,603 --> 00:13:40,563 ‎但那张关系图真不是人干的事 221 00:13:40,643 --> 00:13:44,363 ‎我觉得你需要好好反省一下 222 00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:47,043 ‎离我们远一点 223 00:13:56,523 --> 00:13:58,843 ‎打扰一下 ‎你知道“松弛妹”是什么意思吗? 224 00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:01,483 ‎不 不要问别人那种问题 225 00:14:02,323 --> 00:14:04,763 ‎好吧 但我还是不懂那是什么意思 226 00:14:05,763 --> 00:14:07,243 ‎那是大唇瓣的意思 227 00:14:09,323 --> 00:14:10,443 ‎唇瓣? 228 00:14:14,003 --> 00:14:15,443 ‎你是说那个唇啊 229 00:14:17,883 --> 00:14:21,563 ‎蜘蛛没看过那里 没有人看过 230 00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:25,283 ‎谁知道那个单身狗在想什么呢? ‎直男对我来说就是个谜 231 00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:29,883 ‎你可以帮我看一下 232 00:14:30,763 --> 00:14:31,683 ‎什么? 233 00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:32,603 ‎我的… 234 00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:35,083 ‎唇瓣 235 00:14:35,723 --> 00:14:36,883 ‎绝对不要 236 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,803 ‎好吧 可万一它们真的很大怎么办? 237 00:14:38,883 --> 00:14:40,643 ‎管它呢?这样还能容纳更多东西 238 00:14:40,723 --> 00:14:44,923 ‎下述同学请到5D课室集合 239 00:14:46,323 --> 00:14:47,923 ‎艾蜜蕊瓦迪亚 240 00:14:49,603 --> 00:14:50,923 ‎哈珀麦克莱恩 241 00:14:51,603 --> 00:14:52,923 ‎萨莎苏 242 00:14:53,483 --> 00:14:55,163 ‎米西贝克特 243 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,003 ‎达斯汀里德 244 00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:01,843 ‎斯宾塞怀特 245 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,123 ‎安东尼沃恩 246 00:15:05,203 --> 00:15:06,883 ‎听起来就像一群白痴 247 00:15:06,963 --> 00:15:08,803 ‎达伦里弗斯 248 00:15:08,883 --> 00:15:09,723 ‎该死 249 00:15:09,803 --> 00:15:11,963 ‎-奎恩加拉格尔琼斯 ‎-什么? 250 00:15:14,443 --> 00:15:16,603 ‎道格拉斯皮戈特 251 00:15:17,363 --> 00:15:19,123 ‎马拉凯米切尔 252 00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:23,043 ‎欢迎 253 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,323 ‎米西 拜托 米西 254 00:15:29,163 --> 00:15:31,883 ‎-校长好! ‎-下来 谢谢 255 00:15:40,843 --> 00:15:45,763 ‎地图婊! 256 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:48,283 ‎她没反应 257 00:15:48,363 --> 00:15:49,203 ‎地图婊 258 00:15:52,923 --> 00:15:53,763 ‎有事吗 混球? 259 00:15:55,643 --> 00:15:56,843 ‎我也很高兴认识你 260 00:15:58,283 --> 00:16:00,083 ‎拜托 道格拉斯… 261 00:16:00,163 --> 00:16:02,763 ‎嘿 小混混! 262 00:16:03,523 --> 00:16:05,083 ‎音乐节如何 哥们? 263 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:06,763 ‎哥们 264 00:16:10,523 --> 00:16:12,043 ‎明天在公墓集合? 265 00:16:12,123 --> 00:16:12,963 ‎好的 266 00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:14,323 ‎这必将是一场狂欢 267 00:16:14,403 --> 00:16:15,883 ‎嘿 公墓是指什么? 268 00:16:15,963 --> 00:16:17,443 ‎与你无关 贱人 269 00:16:17,523 --> 00:16:21,043 ‎好了 安静点 谢谢 270 00:16:21,123 --> 00:16:25,443 ‎嗨 同学们 我是约瑟芬欧巴老师 ‎你们可以叫我乔乔 271 00:16:25,523 --> 00:16:27,723 ‎有点像大乔小乔 但我是双乔 272 00:16:30,003 --> 00:16:33,323 ‎我是英语老师 ‎所以我认识你们当中一些人 273 00:16:33,403 --> 00:16:36,003 ‎但我想你们应该都很好奇 ‎我们为什么要叫你们来 274 00:16:37,203 --> 00:16:39,723 ‎你们的名字都登上了楼梯间的关系图 275 00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:41,523 ‎就是那张出格的关系图 276 00:16:42,203 --> 00:16:43,043 ‎什么关系图? 277 00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:46,523 ‎你真幽默 同学们 我们可不蠢 278 00:16:46,603 --> 00:16:48,763 ‎我们知道你们很多人都有性生活 279 00:16:48,843 --> 00:16:51,803 ‎我们担心的是这张关系图所体现的 280 00:16:51,883 --> 00:16:55,043 ‎在性关系上对他人的不尊重 281 00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:57,003 ‎因此我们想要正面解决这个问题 282 00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,763 ‎这是一门别开生面的课程 ‎旨在为大家提供 283 00:16:59,843 --> 00:17:04,163 ‎有关性和亲密行为的 ‎清晰易懂的信息… 284 00:17:04,243 --> 00:17:07,643 ‎一门性素养教育课 285 00:17:07,723 --> 00:17:10,443 ‎简称性教课 意思是我们都是淫娃? 286 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,843 ‎淫娃! 287 00:17:15,923 --> 00:17:17,963 ‎够了 别这样 同学们 288 00:17:18,043 --> 00:17:20,882 ‎这门课的内容将会回归性的基础… 289 00:17:20,963 --> 00:17:25,803 ‎因为很显然 你们在这方面 ‎还有很多东西要学习 290 00:17:25,882 --> 00:17:28,683 ‎利用你们的课余时间 每周上两次课 291 00:17:28,763 --> 00:17:29,603 ‎什么? 292 00:17:29,683 --> 00:17:30,963 ‎直到… 293 00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:34,723 ‎直到我们认为 ‎你们已学会了尊重彼此和自己 294 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:37,803 ‎你们必须全勤出席 ‎否则这将会永久记录在你们的档案中 295 00:17:37,883 --> 00:17:39,643 ‎等等 我们有永久档案吗? 296 00:17:39,723 --> 00:17:41,523 ‎这简直是性监狱! 297 00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:42,923 ‎真是谢谢你 地图婊 298 00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:44,203 ‎-嘿! ‎-地图婊 299 00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:49,443 ‎抱歉 我今天才第一天上学 ‎我觉得我不应该在这里 300 00:17:49,523 --> 00:17:53,123 ‎厉害了!还没报到 ‎就上了乱伦关系图! 301 00:17:53,203 --> 00:17:57,363 ‎-我想我们应该来个握手游戏 ‎-刚开始不适合用那招… 302 00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,443 ‎好了 全体起立! 303 00:18:00,003 --> 00:18:02,483 ‎快起来 304 00:18:02,563 --> 00:18:06,203 ‎现在请把这些桌子挪到一边 305 00:18:06,283 --> 00:18:10,363 ‎把桌子抬起来 不要在地板上拖动 306 00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:19,283 ‎谢谢 现在我要你们围着教室转圈 307 00:18:20,563 --> 00:18:24,723 ‎来吧 动起来 308 00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,403 ‎很好 你们知道怎么走路 309 00:18:28,403 --> 00:18:35,083 ‎现在我要你们选择三个人 ‎并和他们握手 310 00:18:36,123 --> 00:18:38,723 ‎握手…很好 你们知道怎么握手 311 00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:46,323 ‎握手 312 00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:48,203 ‎然后… 313 00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:49,403 ‎酷! 314 00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:50,323 ‎…停! 315 00:18:52,763 --> 00:18:53,643 ‎斯宾塞 316 00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,443 ‎假设你得了生殖器疣 317 00:18:58,563 --> 00:18:59,723 ‎一语中的 318 00:18:59,803 --> 00:19:02,723 ‎不是真的得了 就你嘴欠 达伦 319 00:19:02,803 --> 00:19:04,723 ‎只是游戏设定 320 00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:06,363 ‎把手举起来 斯宾塞 321 00:19:07,323 --> 00:19:08,763 ‎举起手来 斯宾塞 322 00:19:11,123 --> 00:19:11,963 ‎接下来 323 00:19:13,523 --> 00:19:16,683 ‎请刚刚跟斯宾塞握过手的人举起手来 324 00:19:18,843 --> 00:19:21,443 ‎跟他们握过手的人呢? 325 00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:24,403 ‎谁又跟他们握过手呢? 326 00:19:26,003 --> 00:19:27,243 ‎还有他们呢? 327 00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:31,883 ‎你们都得了尖锐湿疣 328 00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,403 ‎不是生殖器疣吗? 329 00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:36,483 ‎对 生殖器疣 谢谢你… 330 00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:37,883 ‎马拉凯 331 00:19:37,963 --> 00:19:42,243 ‎马拉凯 谢谢你 ‎你们都得了生殖器疣 332 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,283 ‎你除外 艾蜜蕊 好样的 333 00:19:45,363 --> 00:19:48,363 ‎这突显了什么的重要性? 334 00:19:48,443 --> 00:19:50,643 ‎远离蜘蛛的重要性 因为他很恶心 335 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,723 ‎-去你们的! ‎-真风趣 道格拉斯 不!是安全套 336 00:19:56,003 --> 00:19:57,163 ‎(海莉T) 337 00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,043 ‎-你有吗?真的吗? ‎-真的 338 00:20:00,123 --> 00:20:02,083 ‎什么?不是吧 339 00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:08,483 ‎嘿 我们交往过吗? 340 00:20:09,323 --> 00:20:10,163 ‎没有 341 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,363 ‎我也是这么想的 但这上面说… 342 00:20:12,443 --> 00:20:14,083 ‎那什么都不是 达斯蒂 343 00:20:14,763 --> 00:20:18,043 ‎我们的名字被一条金线连起来了 344 00:20:18,123 --> 00:20:19,923 ‎金线代表真命天子 345 00:20:20,003 --> 00:20:22,083 ‎对 命中注定的一对 346 00:20:22,163 --> 00:20:23,523 ‎我觉得她想要你 达斯蒂 347 00:20:27,763 --> 00:20:28,643 ‎舔狗! 348 00:20:30,523 --> 00:20:32,643 ‎说真的 那个关系图 ‎到底是怎么回事? 349 00:20:33,203 --> 00:20:34,763 ‎你做了什么? 350 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:39,243 ‎我们已经对性了如指掌 ‎她们还能教我们什么? 351 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:53,003 ‎嘿 352 00:20:54,923 --> 00:20:56,083 ‎你还好吧? 353 00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:58,523 ‎滚远点 354 00:21:11,883 --> 00:21:14,203 ‎厕所午餐 这个我深有体会 355 00:21:17,163 --> 00:21:18,603 ‎我没准在拉屎呢! 356 00:21:18,683 --> 00:21:21,323 ‎边吃边拉可不好 ‎会导致消化系统紊乱的 357 00:21:21,403 --> 00:21:23,283 ‎不过我很高兴能有机会和你说说话 358 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:25,203 ‎我也是 也许不是 359 00:21:27,123 --> 00:21:28,203 ‎我理解你的感受 360 00:21:28,283 --> 00:21:29,803 ‎我对此非常怀疑 361 00:21:29,883 --> 00:21:32,563 ‎不 我真的能理解 ‎因为我上六年级的时候 362 00:21:32,643 --> 00:21:33,803 ‎发现了一个巨型桉树果 363 00:21:33,883 --> 00:21:36,123 ‎我超兴奋的 ‎心想“好大的桉树果!” 364 00:21:36,203 --> 00:21:39,083 ‎然后拿去给所有人看 ‎因为那是我见过最棒的桉树果 365 00:21:39,163 --> 00:21:42,083 ‎结果那并不是什么巨型桉树果 ‎只是一块硬化的狗屎 366 00:21:42,163 --> 00:21:44,723 ‎之后我被叫了一年巨型桉树果 367 00:21:45,283 --> 00:21:47,283 ‎所以我想你现在应该就是这种感觉 368 00:21:48,683 --> 00:21:50,403 ‎抱歉 能否让我一个人呆着? 369 00:21:53,283 --> 00:21:55,523 ‎-这会是你的第13个原因吗? ‎-什么? 370 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:59,203 ‎我是说 你会寻短见吗? 371 00:21:59,283 --> 00:22:00,323 ‎不会 372 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:01,483 ‎那就好 373 00:22:05,203 --> 00:22:06,283 ‎你到底想怎样? 374 00:22:06,363 --> 00:22:08,443 ‎我只是想找人帮我看看私处 375 00:22:09,243 --> 00:22:12,283 ‎没门儿 376 00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:16,523 ‎在某种程度上 这都是你的错 ‎所以你何不帮我看一下 377 00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:19,763 ‎然后告诉我 ‎我的唇瓣是否正常 艾蜜蕊! 378 00:22:21,843 --> 00:22:24,123 ‎我就爱看这些恶毒女人的丧家犬模样 379 00:22:24,203 --> 00:22:26,403 ‎你不该说那种话 太刻薄了 380 00:22:26,483 --> 00:22:28,523 ‎她可是让你的唇瓣 ‎登上乱伦关系图的元凶 381 00:22:28,603 --> 00:22:32,363 ‎我知道 但到处乱说的人是蜘蛛 ‎所以他才是那个混蛋 不是她 382 00:22:32,483 --> 00:22:36,163 ‎虽然我爱你 ‎但那女的就没有正视过我们一眼 383 00:22:36,243 --> 00:22:39,043 ‎那又怎样? ‎你又不是没有体会过被排挤的感受 384 00:22:39,803 --> 00:22:41,763 ‎来吧 我们还得上数学课 385 00:22:45,003 --> 00:22:47,963 ‎理论上这应该是 ‎新的教学大纲 可这… 386 00:22:48,043 --> 00:22:49,923 ‎这也太过时了 ‎全是异性恋主流价值观… 387 00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:51,923 ‎没错 但我们就只有这些了 388 00:22:52,003 --> 00:22:55,403 ‎史黛西 在性教育问题上 ‎我们必须实事求是 否则… 389 00:22:55,483 --> 00:22:57,843 ‎话是这么说 ‎但我们也不能鼓励这种风气 390 00:22:57,923 --> 00:22:59,683 ‎但他们已经在践行了 391 00:23:01,483 --> 00:23:02,403 ‎对 但是… 392 00:23:04,323 --> 00:23:07,723 ‎我们是本区排名垫底的高中 393 00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:12,083 ‎如果明年的入学率提不上来 ‎我们的资金就会被削减 394 00:23:12,163 --> 00:23:17,363 ‎我明白你的意思 但说实话 ‎我觉得这玩意解决不了问题 395 00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:20,803 ‎拜托 我们就不能试一下吗? 396 00:23:21,723 --> 00:23:22,803 ‎乔乔? 397 00:23:23,723 --> 00:23:26,203 ‎放手一试吧 乔乔 398 00:23:27,723 --> 00:23:29,643 ‎放手一试吧 乔乔 399 00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:33,123 ‎不放手一试 乔乔 400 00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:36,643 ‎又怎知不行 乔乔 401 00:23:39,603 --> 00:23:40,763 ‎好吧 402 00:23:40,843 --> 00:23:42,003 ‎嘿 艾蜜蕊 403 00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:44,763 ‎艾蜜蕊 嘿! 404 00:23:46,003 --> 00:23:47,123 ‎煎熬的一天 对吧? 405 00:23:48,083 --> 00:23:52,963 ‎悄悄跟你说 我觉得你那张图 ‎画得很好看 甚至有点诗意 406 00:23:53,043 --> 00:23:56,283 ‎你们之间那错综复杂的关系 407 00:23:56,763 --> 00:23:57,603 ‎谢谢 408 00:23:58,083 --> 00:24:00,283 ‎你只须记住 高中… 409 00:24:01,323 --> 00:24:03,443 ‎没错 基本上都很糟糕 410 00:24:03,523 --> 00:24:06,563 ‎但一生也就这么一次 你会没事的 411 00:24:06,643 --> 00:24:08,003 ‎希望你知道 412 00:24:09,603 --> 00:24:11,003 ‎你这是打算逃学吗? 413 00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:12,643 ‎不是 414 00:24:13,243 --> 00:24:14,083 ‎再见 415 00:24:17,963 --> 00:24:19,563 ‎-等一下 艾蜜蕊! ‎-滚开! 416 00:24:19,643 --> 00:24:22,923 ‎不 我只是想说…地图疯婆娘! 417 00:24:44,643 --> 00:24:46,163 ‎(蒂莉) 418 00:24:49,923 --> 00:24:50,763 ‎(达伦) 419 00:24:52,963 --> 00:24:54,563 ‎(塔莎 威尔逊双胞胎) 420 00:24:59,883 --> 00:25:00,723 ‎(艾蜜蕊) 421 00:25:01,843 --> 00:25:02,843 ‎(关键词) 422 00:25:13,003 --> 00:25:14,963 ‎谢谢你过来 423 00:25:15,043 --> 00:25:17,323 ‎我要去训练了 回头见 424 00:26:05,243 --> 00:26:09,723 ‎说起来挺丢人的 ‎我的父母都是股票经纪人 425 00:26:09,803 --> 00:26:12,563 ‎但我想靠自己的力量挣钱 426 00:26:12,643 --> 00:26:14,643 ‎向懂行的人 427 00:26:14,723 --> 00:26:17,083 ‎学一点经商手腕 比如说您 428 00:26:17,163 --> 00:26:18,283 ‎是吗? 429 00:26:19,283 --> 00:26:22,283 ‎我听说目前禁止雇用 430 00:26:22,363 --> 00:26:24,243 ‎哈特利高中的学生? 431 00:26:24,323 --> 00:26:27,243 ‎那所学校太不像话了 ‎你看今天的新闻了吗? 432 00:26:27,323 --> 00:26:30,563 ‎看了 真的很恶心 433 00:26:30,643 --> 00:26:33,843 ‎我喜欢你给人的感觉 达伦 ‎我决定给你一个试用机会 434 00:26:33,923 --> 00:26:34,883 ‎明天开始怎么样? 435 00:26:34,963 --> 00:26:37,083 ‎真的吗?酷毙了 436 00:26:38,203 --> 00:26:40,923 ‎我是说 真是太好了 437 00:26:41,923 --> 00:26:43,003 ‎(达伦) 438 00:26:49,963 --> 00:26:52,483 ‎告诉我重点 我之后要去参加读书会 439 00:26:52,563 --> 00:26:54,843 ‎宝贝 今天在学校过得怎么样? 440 00:26:54,923 --> 00:26:55,763 ‎棒极了 441 00:26:55,843 --> 00:26:57,923 ‎-你今晚会待在家里吗? ‎-怎么了? 442 00:26:58,403 --> 00:27:01,723 ‎没什么 只是兄弟们要过来看球赛 443 00:27:01,803 --> 00:27:04,483 ‎好吧 你是希望我不在家? 444 00:27:05,323 --> 00:27:07,003 ‎他总爱往最坏的方向想 445 00:27:07,083 --> 00:27:08,643 ‎你应该说“他们” 446 00:27:10,683 --> 00:27:14,403 ‎他们!他们总爱往最坏的方向想 447 00:27:14,483 --> 00:27:17,283 ‎又是这个问题 这正是我想说的 448 00:27:17,363 --> 00:27:20,323 ‎你不能指望我的兄弟们 ‎能理解这些东西 449 00:27:20,403 --> 00:27:21,563 ‎抱歉 什么东西? 450 00:27:21,643 --> 00:27:23,003 ‎这些用语 451 00:27:23,083 --> 00:27:27,563 ‎“他们” 这根本说不通 ‎你知道你不是两个人 对吧? 452 00:27:27,643 --> 00:27:29,603 ‎更何况 这打破了所有语法规则 453 00:27:29,683 --> 00:27:33,363 ‎那算你走运 波比 ‎事实上我正致力于不走寻常路 454 00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:34,523 ‎我不…什么? 455 00:27:34,603 --> 00:27:36,603 ‎只有打破规则 才能迎来变革 456 00:27:36,683 --> 00:27:39,323 ‎我随时都可以改变自我 457 00:27:39,403 --> 00:27:41,283 ‎这真的那么重要吗? 458 00:27:42,083 --> 00:27:46,403 ‎就在我们说话的当下 ‎埃塞俄比亚正有儿童死去 459 00:27:46,483 --> 00:27:48,883 ‎-你听到这话了吗? ‎-不要把我牵扯进来 460 00:27:48,963 --> 00:27:53,003 ‎天啊 老妈 你被这家伙的粉嫩老二 ‎迷得晕头转向了 461 00:27:53,723 --> 00:27:55,563 ‎你爸爸也好不到哪里 462 00:27:56,363 --> 00:27:58,883 ‎正好 你今晚何不去他家? 463 00:27:58,963 --> 00:28:00,283 ‎不 464 00:28:00,363 --> 00:28:02,403 ‎问题解决了 亲爱的 465 00:28:02,963 --> 00:28:05,363 ‎这么说我必须离开? 466 00:28:05,443 --> 00:28:08,363 ‎你真想和这些笨蛋看足球赛吗? 467 00:28:12,083 --> 00:28:13,603 ‎好好享用你的鸡肉三明治吧 468 00:28:13,683 --> 00:28:16,243 ‎-达伦 亲爱的 过来… ‎-我也爱你 祝你们看球赛愉快 469 00:28:16,323 --> 00:28:18,363 ‎好了 让他走吧 他没事的 470 00:28:23,323 --> 00:28:25,043 ‎-你好 小艾 ‎-嘿 贾斯汀 471 00:28:25,123 --> 00:28:26,643 ‎你好吗? 472 00:28:27,203 --> 00:28:30,523 ‎我很好 哈珀在家吗? 473 00:28:31,603 --> 00:28:33,403 ‎不在 你今天在学校没见到她吗? 474 00:28:33,483 --> 00:28:34,323 ‎见到了 475 00:28:35,243 --> 00:28:37,803 ‎但我们… 476 00:28:40,043 --> 00:28:41,683 ‎狠狠地打了一架 477 00:28:42,603 --> 00:28:43,523 ‎又打架了? 478 00:28:46,283 --> 00:28:48,803 ‎可以理解 ‎水星正处在逆行期 所以… 479 00:28:50,643 --> 00:28:52,763 ‎不用担心 你们会和好的 一向如此 480 00:28:52,843 --> 00:28:54,643 ‎对 完全不用担心 481 00:28:57,123 --> 00:28:58,203 ‎她在家里吗? 482 00:28:58,283 --> 00:28:59,603 ‎我不知道她在哪儿 483 00:29:04,963 --> 00:29:09,123 ‎好吧 不管怎样 谢谢你 贾叔 484 00:29:09,203 --> 00:29:10,163 ‎好的 485 00:29:10,243 --> 00:29:12,323 ‎-回头见 ‎-回头见 放松点 486 00:29:13,563 --> 00:29:14,403 ‎我会的 487 00:29:26,843 --> 00:29:27,683 ‎晚餐准备好了 488 00:29:27,763 --> 00:29:28,723 ‎好极了 489 00:29:28,803 --> 00:29:30,363 ‎(耶稣爱我!) 490 00:29:30,443 --> 00:29:32,163 ‎-我要开始了 ‎-开始吧 491 00:29:34,203 --> 00:29:38,323 ‎今天 我很感激 ‎我们能在接下来一段时间里了解哈珀 492 00:29:40,483 --> 00:29:42,963 ‎我很感激 ‎我终于拿到了我的纳税申报单 493 00:29:45,323 --> 00:29:46,163 ‎我想不到 494 00:29:46,883 --> 00:29:48,963 ‎来吧 亲爱的 说一件事就好 495 00:29:50,643 --> 00:29:54,443 ‎我很感激抗生素 ‎因为我得了严重的尿路感染 496 00:29:55,923 --> 00:29:57,043 ‎我可以得尿路感染吗? 497 00:29:57,123 --> 00:29:58,763 ‎-不 ‎-不行 498 00:30:00,963 --> 00:30:02,003 ‎应该用右手 499 00:30:02,963 --> 00:30:04,483 ‎那是恶魔之手 500 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:08,723 ‎谢谢 501 00:30:15,203 --> 00:30:17,963 ‎(艾蜜蕊 哈珀) 502 00:30:50,483 --> 00:30:51,683 ‎该死的 503 00:31:01,363 --> 00:31:02,803 ‎长期以来 太多的学校 504 00:31:02,883 --> 00:31:06,443 ‎依赖色情作品 ‎作为默认的性教育素材了 505 00:31:06,523 --> 00:31:08,963 ‎哈特利高中显然就是这种情况 506 00:31:09,043 --> 00:31:11,883 ‎它是众多亟需新课标的高中之一 507 00:31:12,443 --> 00:31:15,243 ‎你到底去哪了?我一直尝试联系你! 508 00:31:15,723 --> 00:31:17,643 ‎你们学校上新闻了! 509 00:31:17,723 --> 00:31:19,163 ‎-那又怎样 ‎-那又怎样? 510 00:31:19,243 --> 00:31:23,283 ‎你做了一张惹众怒的关系图 ‎跟别人打架 两次损坏学校财物 511 00:31:23,363 --> 00:31:24,283 ‎还逃学… 512 00:31:24,363 --> 00:31:26,523 ‎我没办法在那待下去 你不会明白的 513 00:31:26,603 --> 00:31:28,443 ‎我明白 我们需要谈谈性 514 00:31:28,523 --> 00:31:31,323 ‎-现在就得好好谈谈 ‎-不! 515 00:31:31,403 --> 00:31:33,243 ‎-你被禁足了! ‎-我们不搞这一套! 516 00:31:33,323 --> 00:31:35,723 ‎现在就搞 马上搞起来! 517 00:31:47,323 --> 00:31:48,163 ‎嘿 小可爱 518 00:31:48,683 --> 00:31:49,683 ‎我的制服呢? 519 00:31:54,283 --> 00:31:55,643 ‎我可以在这过夜吗? 520 00:31:56,683 --> 00:31:58,563 ‎这里不允许外人留宿 521 00:31:59,123 --> 00:32:00,483 ‎上周明明都没有问题 522 00:32:01,043 --> 00:32:03,563 ‎是啊 那是你偷偷拿走 ‎我的校服之前的事 523 00:32:07,803 --> 00:32:09,443 ‎我的招财猫玩偶呢? 524 00:32:10,883 --> 00:32:11,723 ‎那是什么? 525 00:32:17,043 --> 00:32:18,683 ‎你该走了 526 00:32:19,443 --> 00:32:21,723 ‎好吧 没关系 雅各布 527 00:32:21,803 --> 00:32:25,723 ‎反正你的房间闻起来 ‎一股臭袜子和玉米片屁的味道 528 00:32:25,803 --> 00:32:26,643 ‎怎么了? 529 00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:29,243 ‎看什么! 530 00:32:29,323 --> 00:32:32,203 ‎(松弛妹 唇瓣) 531 00:32:35,923 --> 00:32:37,683 ‎(唇瓣) 532 00:32:49,083 --> 00:32:52,563 ‎(达伦) 533 00:33:15,043 --> 00:33:17,443 ‎按照以下步骤 做一个全新的你 534 00:33:17,523 --> 00:33:18,843 ‎第一步 改变形象 535 00:33:19,883 --> 00:33:22,723 ‎想要彻底改变形象 务必三思而后行 536 00:33:22,803 --> 00:33:25,523 ‎一旦迈出这一步 ‎有时候就会无法回头 537 00:33:36,323 --> 00:33:38,563 ‎我还得晾衣服 538 00:33:38,643 --> 00:33:41,083 ‎你打算整个周六都窝在床上吗? 539 00:33:44,123 --> 00:33:45,323 ‎你自己剪了刘海 540 00:33:46,083 --> 00:33:47,523 ‎彻底搞砸了? 541 00:33:48,923 --> 00:33:50,603 ‎不是吗?没事吗?好吧 542 00:34:06,163 --> 00:34:07,843 ‎这汉堡真不错 543 00:34:07,923 --> 00:34:09,923 ‎你都还没碰过你的薯条 544 00:34:10,003 --> 00:34:10,843 ‎我不饿 545 00:34:11,643 --> 00:34:13,003 ‎我还以为这会让你高兴起来 546 00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:15,363 ‎我再一次请求你让我在家学习 547 00:34:16,043 --> 00:34:19,403 ‎我再一次告诉你不行 ‎你可以打包这些薯条 548 00:34:19,483 --> 00:34:22,843 ‎这是我唯一能答应你的 ‎我去去就回 和你聊得真开心 549 00:34:25,963 --> 00:34:29,323 ‎这是给特别酸甜的你 ‎准备的特别酸甜的酱汁 550 00:34:29,403 --> 00:34:31,323 ‎-祝你一天愉快 ‎-谢谢 551 00:34:35,083 --> 00:34:37,363 ‎不行 兄弟 这可不是免费的 552 00:34:37,443 --> 00:34:38,282 ‎这是我的外卖 553 00:34:38,363 --> 00:34:40,123 ‎-你是外卖员吗? ‎-是啊 554 00:34:40,682 --> 00:34:44,163 ‎那是很好的伪装 ‎我每周四做一笔交易 555 00:34:44,242 --> 00:34:46,563 ‎购买任意家庭套餐 ‎可享受克他命半价优惠 556 00:34:48,323 --> 00:34:49,923 ‎你说真的吗? 557 00:34:50,003 --> 00:34:50,843 ‎不是 558 00:34:51,403 --> 00:34:53,643 ‎这位小哥还挺幽默的 559 00:34:55,282 --> 00:34:57,363 ‎如果有人问起 ‎记得说我就读于布鲁诺高中 560 00:34:59,923 --> 00:35:02,883 ‎-你今晚去公墓吗? ‎-去啊 561 00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:05,323 ‎那到时候见 562 00:35:05,403 --> 00:35:06,283 ‎回头见 563 00:35:15,043 --> 00:35:17,963 ‎瞧你这刘海 地图婊 564 00:35:18,043 --> 00:35:21,843 ‎此刘海非彼刘海 565 00:35:21,923 --> 00:35:24,963 ‎哎哟喂 566 00:35:25,043 --> 00:35:28,563 ‎-有人吗 能帮我点餐吗? ‎-天啊 这也太可悲了 567 00:35:30,243 --> 00:35:32,203 ‎马上就来 568 00:35:33,563 --> 00:35:34,843 ‎你好啊 朵拉? 569 00:35:40,923 --> 00:35:42,563 ‎需要我帮你挽救一下刘海吗? 570 00:35:46,323 --> 00:35:47,203 ‎拜托了 571 00:35:51,043 --> 00:35:53,923 ‎很糟糕 对吧?无可挽回那种 572 00:35:54,963 --> 00:35:57,443 ‎没事 我还剃过眉毛呢 ‎最后都长回来了 573 00:35:58,043 --> 00:35:59,283 ‎搞定 这下好多了 574 00:36:01,083 --> 00:36:03,723 ‎好太多了 谢谢 575 00:36:04,363 --> 00:36:05,923 ‎哈珀为什么要揍你? 576 00:36:08,683 --> 00:36:09,803 ‎我也不太清楚 577 00:36:09,883 --> 00:36:11,363 ‎你肯定做了什么 578 00:36:11,963 --> 00:36:16,683 ‎我们上周参加完音乐节后 ‎我就一直联系不上她 579 00:36:20,803 --> 00:36:23,603 ‎这简直是贵宾席! 580 00:36:25,243 --> 00:36:27,243 ‎该死的 我再拿些饮料来 581 00:36:29,043 --> 00:36:30,323 ‎你们吵架了吗? 582 00:36:31,123 --> 00:36:34,403 ‎对 但我不记得争吵的内容了 ‎我们经常吵架 583 00:36:34,483 --> 00:36:36,003 ‎哈珀什么时候生日? 584 00:36:36,083 --> 00:36:37,163 ‎11月21日 585 00:36:37,923 --> 00:36:39,123 ‎天蝎座 断交吧 586 00:36:39,963 --> 00:36:40,803 ‎你是什么星座? 587 00:36:41,523 --> 00:36:42,363 ‎我是处女座 588 00:36:42,443 --> 00:36:44,603 ‎我是水瓶座 奎妮是天秤座 589 00:36:44,683 --> 00:36:45,883 ‎我们合得来吗? 590 00:36:46,443 --> 00:36:48,723 ‎同性恋并非都是占星学专家 591 00:36:48,803 --> 00:36:49,683 ‎抱歉 592 00:36:49,763 --> 00:36:52,563 ‎逗你玩的 我们确实是 ‎我需要知道你的出生时间 593 00:36:52,643 --> 00:36:55,643 ‎因为如果你是月亮狮子座 ‎我可不想招惹你 594 00:36:58,203 --> 00:36:59,203 ‎你感到难过吗? 595 00:37:00,283 --> 00:37:02,523 ‎-是的 ‎-最让你难过的是什么? 596 00:37:02,603 --> 00:37:05,363 ‎你现在不受欢迎了 ‎哈珀不想再跟你做朋友 597 00:37:05,443 --> 00:37:06,803 ‎大家都知道是你画的关系图 598 00:37:06,883 --> 00:37:08,403 ‎还是现在我们都被困性监狱? 599 00:37:08,483 --> 00:37:10,323 ‎-还是… ‎-奎妮… 600 00:37:14,363 --> 00:37:15,683 ‎我们来试试呐喊疗法吧 601 00:37:16,403 --> 00:37:17,243 ‎呐喊疗法 602 00:37:17,323 --> 00:37:20,483 ‎-对着月亮大声喊出你内心的郁闷 ‎-不了 603 00:37:20,563 --> 00:37:23,523 ‎来嘛!你应该试一下 ‎这个方法以前帮过我 来吧 604 00:37:23,603 --> 00:37:25,643 ‎好吧 那就试一下 605 00:37:31,123 --> 00:37:33,403 ‎我最好的朋友抛弃了我! 606 00:37:35,763 --> 00:37:38,443 ‎-天啊 感觉还挺不错的 ‎-我就说吧 607 00:37:45,883 --> 00:37:48,003 ‎我是不受欢迎的异类! 608 00:37:51,883 --> 00:37:54,883 ‎我是个阴部松弛妹! 609 00:37:55,483 --> 00:37:59,603 ‎我对那件事感到很抱歉 ‎我真不该把它写在关系图上 610 00:37:59,683 --> 00:38:00,643 ‎蜘蛛就是个大骗子 611 00:38:00,723 --> 00:38:03,483 ‎没关系 我已经不生气了 612 00:38:03,563 --> 00:38:05,483 ‎我只是想知道我的唇瓣是否太大 613 00:38:06,043 --> 00:38:07,083 ‎不可能太大的 614 00:38:07,163 --> 00:38:09,403 ‎对 经过一番研究 ‎我也得出了同样的结论 615 00:38:10,043 --> 00:38:11,883 ‎你需要的话 我依然可以帮你看看 616 00:38:13,443 --> 00:38:15,283 ‎不 不用了 617 00:38:15,363 --> 00:38:17,083 ‎我以前觉得你很目中无人 618 00:38:17,163 --> 00:38:20,203 ‎这种平易近人的态度真的很适合你 619 00:38:20,283 --> 00:38:23,483 ‎那你要好好珍惜现在 ‎因为我肯定是要转校的 620 00:38:23,563 --> 00:38:24,883 ‎不 你不能就此退缩 621 00:38:25,643 --> 00:38:26,643 ‎所有人都讨厌我 622 00:38:26,723 --> 00:38:28,003 ‎我们不讨厌你 623 00:38:28,923 --> 00:38:30,603 ‎他们说的公墓是什么? 624 00:38:30,683 --> 00:38:33,003 ‎那是父母在家时 我们聚会的地方 625 00:38:33,083 --> 00:38:34,123 ‎我们一起去吧 626 00:38:35,403 --> 00:38:36,403 ‎不行 627 00:38:36,483 --> 00:38:38,803 ‎为什么?你只要挺起胸膛 ‎坦承自己的错误就好 628 00:38:38,883 --> 00:38:42,363 ‎来吧 你的眉毛好好的 ‎刘海也美美的 629 00:38:42,443 --> 00:38:43,763 ‎还需要什么呢? 630 00:38:46,523 --> 00:38:49,563 ‎说干就干! 631 00:39:00,763 --> 00:39:03,283 ‎好吧 这里人还挺多的 632 00:39:03,363 --> 00:39:04,203 ‎我就跟你说吧! 633 00:39:04,283 --> 00:39:07,083 ‎-肯定很好玩 ‎-记住我们之前说的 634 00:39:07,163 --> 00:39:11,403 ‎坦承错误 ‎我还是第一次以这种方式登场 635 00:39:14,923 --> 00:39:16,243 ‎我们真的该走了 636 00:39:16,323 --> 00:39:18,443 ‎-不 ‎-嘿 混球 637 00:39:19,643 --> 00:39:21,843 ‎顺带一提 我其实叫马拉凯 638 00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:23,283 ‎艾蜜蕊 639 00:39:23,883 --> 00:39:26,163 ‎对 想不知道都难 640 00:39:28,803 --> 00:39:31,083 ‎大家好像都在盯着我看 641 00:39:31,163 --> 00:39:34,963 ‎不!他们看的是我 你在说什么呢? 642 00:39:45,443 --> 00:39:46,763 ‎来吧 一起来 643 00:40:17,043 --> 00:40:18,363 ‎我去找他当面对质 644 00:40:19,483 --> 00:40:20,363 ‎嘿 唇瓣! 645 00:40:20,443 --> 00:40:21,283 ‎嘿 蜘蛛 646 00:40:25,883 --> 00:40:27,043 ‎这是什么鬼? 647 00:40:28,083 --> 00:40:29,243 ‎你不喜欢阴部吗? 648 00:40:30,323 --> 00:40:31,963 ‎不 我喜欢阴部 649 00:40:32,963 --> 00:40:37,843 ‎好吧 显然你不太了解阴部 ‎因为你看这里… 650 00:40:37,923 --> 00:40:41,443 ‎大多数阴部都有明显的唇瓣或阴唇 651 00:40:41,523 --> 00:40:44,603 ‎有些甚至一大一小 ‎我猜这大概就是“松弛妹”的由来 652 00:40:44,683 --> 00:40:46,123 ‎但这是完全正常的 653 00:40:46,203 --> 00:40:48,603 ‎这点你应该不知道 ‎因为学校没怎么教这些 654 00:40:48,683 --> 00:40:53,483 ‎-这其实非常… ‎-我阅阴无数 不用你来教我 655 00:40:55,123 --> 00:40:56,083 ‎好吧 656 00:40:56,163 --> 00:40:59,963 ‎鉴于你谎称看过我的私处 ‎你说看过别人的 657 00:41:00,043 --> 00:41:02,203 ‎估计也是骗人的吧 658 00:41:06,203 --> 00:41:08,683 ‎诚然 我们没有真的上床 659 00:41:10,403 --> 00:41:12,243 ‎我干吗要上你这种疯婆娘? 660 00:41:13,923 --> 00:41:14,923 ‎天啊! 661 00:41:16,923 --> 00:41:18,123 ‎奎妮! 662 00:41:18,203 --> 00:41:20,923 ‎天啊 干得漂亮 663 00:41:21,003 --> 00:41:23,243 ‎我从未见过他如此窘迫 664 00:41:24,443 --> 00:41:25,403 ‎谢谢 萨莎 665 00:41:44,763 --> 00:41:45,763 ‎兄弟 666 00:41:48,483 --> 00:41:49,483 ‎我找到工作了 667 00:41:52,003 --> 00:41:53,683 ‎你为什么还要来上学? 668 00:41:55,603 --> 00:41:56,443 ‎你复读了 669 00:41:56,523 --> 00:41:57,363 ‎对 670 00:41:58,363 --> 00:41:59,363 ‎因为你考试不及格 671 00:42:00,723 --> 00:42:02,203 ‎-是的 ‎-你已经18岁了 672 00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:04,723 ‎所以呢? 673 00:42:04,803 --> 00:42:06,563 ‎所以呢…天啊 674 00:42:07,403 --> 00:42:08,843 ‎你何不干脆辍学? 675 00:42:09,643 --> 00:42:12,483 ‎我是说你显然过得挺好的 676 00:42:16,843 --> 00:42:17,803 ‎我有我的理由 677 00:42:40,723 --> 00:42:42,683 ‎-嘿 ‎-嘿 678 00:42:44,283 --> 00:42:45,483 ‎你在做什么? 679 00:42:46,003 --> 00:42:48,723 ‎想事情 你懂的 680 00:42:48,803 --> 00:42:49,883 ‎我懂 681 00:42:50,483 --> 00:42:54,443 ‎我最近在想 等到我们50岁的时候 682 00:42:54,523 --> 00:42:57,843 ‎地球早已被毁 还有什么意义呢? 683 00:42:59,363 --> 00:43:00,203 ‎你是说活着吗? 684 00:43:00,883 --> 00:43:01,923 ‎对 685 00:43:03,603 --> 00:43:07,483 ‎我有信心 ‎我们这一代人会解决所有问题 686 00:43:12,763 --> 00:43:14,123 ‎迟早都会 687 00:43:16,603 --> 00:43:19,003 ‎不过我也是个虚无主义者 所以我… 688 00:43:19,083 --> 00:43:20,043 ‎不 你不是 689 00:43:24,483 --> 00:43:27,323 ‎为什么我们会出现在那张关系图上? 690 00:43:30,763 --> 00:43:32,523 ‎达斯蒂 那真的没什么 691 00:43:33,003 --> 00:43:34,963 ‎好吧 也不是完全没有 692 00:43:35,043 --> 00:43:39,003 ‎我以前喜欢过你 ‎但那是很久以前 婴儿时期的事了 693 00:43:39,083 --> 00:43:43,283 ‎不是真的婴儿 因为…你懂的 ‎然后金色代表“命中注定” 694 00:43:43,363 --> 00:43:46,043 ‎明白我说婴儿是什么意思了吧? ‎谁会做那种幼稚的事? 695 00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:48,563 ‎好吧 我做了 蠢死了 696 00:43:48,643 --> 00:43:50,203 ‎那真的没有任何意思 697 00:43:59,723 --> 00:44:00,683 ‎蠢死了 698 00:44:01,483 --> 00:44:05,003 ‎闯下大祸之后 你变得有趣多了 699 00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:18,363 ‎天啊 700 00:44:47,523 --> 00:44:48,563 ‎可以谈谈吗? 701 00:44:48,643 --> 00:44:51,403 ‎拜托 先让我把事情办完 702 00:44:54,643 --> 00:44:57,643 ‎在我重新找到感觉之前 你说吧 703 00:45:01,323 --> 00:45:03,123 ‎为什么要跟我绝交? 704 00:45:03,203 --> 00:45:05,763 ‎我们共同经历了那么多 ‎这太伤我的心了 哈珀 705 00:45:09,683 --> 00:45:12,963 ‎我只想挽回这段友谊 ‎拜托告诉我该怎么做吧 706 00:45:16,683 --> 00:45:19,043 ‎-你的头发怎么了? ‎-我把它剪掉了 707 00:45:19,123 --> 00:45:20,523 ‎-你自己剪的? ‎-对 708 00:45:20,603 --> 00:45:23,523 ‎我早就跟你说 ‎不要看那些油管教程 你就是不听 709 00:45:23,603 --> 00:45:25,043 ‎你就是不把话说清楚 710 00:45:27,763 --> 00:45:30,603 ‎到底发生了什么? ‎音乐节之前 我们还好好的 711 00:45:40,603 --> 00:45:42,723 ‎-我去过你家 你不在… ‎-你去我家干吗? 712 00:45:42,803 --> 00:45:44,243 ‎因为你不肯跟我说话… 713 00:45:44,323 --> 00:45:47,243 ‎于是你就找上门来 骚扰我爸? 714 00:45:47,323 --> 00:45:49,043 ‎我没有骚扰你爸 715 00:45:49,123 --> 00:45:52,323 ‎这种疯子行为还真有你的作风 716 00:45:52,403 --> 00:45:54,403 ‎你才是那个疯子 你毁了我的人生 717 00:45:54,483 --> 00:45:55,763 ‎毁了你的人生? 718 00:45:56,803 --> 00:45:59,643 ‎一切的一切 艾蜜蕊 719 00:45:59,723 --> 00:46:03,843 ‎不管是关系图 ‎还是你对达斯蒂的愚蠢迷恋 720 00:46:03,923 --> 00:46:07,123 ‎你就不明白这些事情有多无谓吗? 721 00:46:09,003 --> 00:46:10,123 ‎你就是个小屁孩 722 00:46:10,203 --> 00:46:12,283 ‎这不是你跟我绝交的原因 723 00:46:14,803 --> 00:46:16,523 ‎你到底怎么了? 724 00:46:17,723 --> 00:46:18,563 ‎哈珀 725 00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:21,643 ‎我只是想向前看 726 00:46:24,523 --> 00:46:27,083 ‎我不希望你再出现在我的生活中 727 00:46:45,963 --> 00:46:46,963 ‎等一下 728 00:46:47,043 --> 00:46:48,363 ‎你要回家了吗? 729 00:46:48,443 --> 00:46:50,123 ‎-你们不用因为我而离开 ‎-必须的 730 00:46:54,803 --> 00:46:56,403 ‎我们赶紧离开这个鬼地方吧 731 00:46:57,283 --> 00:46:58,603 ‎反正今晚的气氛怪怪的 732 00:46:59,803 --> 00:47:01,443 ‎我不会让她击垮我的 733 00:47:01,523 --> 00:47:03,323 ‎我要重返校园 734 00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:04,963 ‎享受校园生活 735 00:47:05,043 --> 00:47:06,043 ‎-说得好 ‎-说得好 736 00:47:40,283 --> 00:47:41,123 ‎嘿! 737 00:47:44,643 --> 00:47:46,483 ‎你在干什么? 738 00:47:47,163 --> 00:47:48,163 ‎嘿 爸爸 739 00:47:58,243 --> 00:48:00,323 ‎伙计们!警察来了! 740 00:48:07,443 --> 00:48:09,243 ‎我们真不该乱扔垃圾 741 00:48:09,323 --> 00:48:10,883 ‎现在这不是重点! 742 00:48:12,603 --> 00:48:13,443 ‎给我回来! 743 00:48:14,003 --> 00:48:14,883 ‎快跑! 744 00:48:16,283 --> 00:48:17,683 ‎-大家分头逃跑 ‎-等等我! 745 00:48:33,203 --> 00:48:34,163 ‎你没事吧? 746 00:48:34,243 --> 00:48:37,963 ‎没事 只是划伤了手臂 问题不大 747 00:48:39,643 --> 00:48:40,723 ‎来吧 748 00:49:27,203 --> 00:49:33,323 ‎(达斯蒂睡了哈珀) 749 00:50:24,323 --> 00:50:29,323 ‎字幕翻译: 梁淑仪