[soft music]
* *
announcer: Like sands through the hourglass,
so are the "Days of Our Lives."
[dramatic music]
* *
[upbeat jazz music]
* *
[sultry music]
* *
- So what say you?
Can I pass for Her Royal Highness
Princess Greta Von Amberg?
- Your Majesty.
- I like this alias.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- I gotta say, I'm pretty pumped
for this whole ISA mission myself.
Always wanted to be a secret agent.
You know, the intrigue, cool car, cool suit.
All this.
- I grew up hearing all about my parents fun adventures,
and now I finally get to have one for myself.
- Mm-hmm? - Yeah.
- Well, you certainly look the part.
My god.
- And what about you, my handsome escort?
- Oh, you mean your dutiful husband, Austin Reed.
- Yes, of course. - Yeah.
- Austin, tell me about yourself.
- Well, I'm a former boxer and piano player
turned forensic accountant. Really a jack of all trades.
- Mm, a jack of all trades.
Do you really think we can pull this off?
- I mean, the mission seems pretty straightforward.
Right?
We infiltrate the Faversham party
and retrieve the purple pin.
- No, the amethyst brooch.
- Right. - Yes.
- How hard can it be?
* *
Much harder.
- So where are we on the emerald?
- Agent Graham and I left my nephew, Will,
in charge back in Phoenix. We thought it was more pressing
to get back here to deal with the sapphire.
- Do you trust Will and Sonny to make the deal?
- Well, they're meeting with the seller tonight,
and everything should go smoothly as long as--
- As long as what?
- As long as that little weasel, Leo Stark,
doesn't screw it up.
He's a wild card.
- Uh...
- I always did have good timing.
- Do you mind?
- Hey, I'm not the one who left his door open.
- Yeah, and you can close it when you leave.
- I'm not going anywhere.
You and I are spending the night together.
- We're working on tracking down
a location of the other two gems.
I think whoever took the ruby in Johannesburg
also has the citrine.
- And that just leaves the sapphire.
- Yeah, any-- uh, any news on that front?
- Agent Graham and I spoke with John and Marlena
last night, and John seems to think
that that nun who took it is really Kristen DiMera.
- Lovely. As if this mission wasn't dangerous enough.
- Listen, don't worry. I can handle this.
I have history with Kristen.
I just need to round up my new partner.
- Yeah, how's it going with you and Kyle?
I know he can be a bit much.
- Oh, Agent Graham? He's--
[woodwind music]
- Morning, Agent Reed.
- He's fine. Let me... get back to you.
* *
[jazzy rock music]
* *
[upbeat music]
* *
- [sighs] - [laughs]
- I can't tell you how much I missed this.
- Me too.
- I'm just really glad we were able to work things out.
We have worked things out, right?
- I'd say so. Yes. - All right, good.
Despite my big romantic gesture going horribly wrong.
- You didn't need to buy me
an expensive necklace to win me over.
- No? - No.
We just needed to communicate again.
- Yeah, and I needed to get
over myself and forgive you
for Rafe.
- And have you?
- 100%. Promise.
- I believe you.
[tender music]
- Still, I just wish Kristen hadn't stolen that necklace.
That sapphire really-- it made your--
it made your eyes pop.
- Aww. - Yeah.
- Well, it's not like I could've kept it anyway.
It belongs to the Alamainian government.
- Crazy Alamainian.
I think we should move to Alamainia.
- No, let's not. - No?
Yes, I heard. Yes.
- I just hope your sister finds Kristen
and gets it back to its rightful owner.
- Say Alamainian again. Say Alamainian.
Alamainian, Alamainian.
- Sorry I'm running a bit behind.
- I pegged you for the punctual type.
- Oh, yeah, well, the hotel gym was busy this morning,
and my workout took a bit longer than usual.
Didn't even get to my biceps.
- Oh, they look good.
- Thanks.
- I mean, they're fine. You know,
if you need a little advice or want some tips, feel that.
Feel these right here.
- Really. - Come on, what's wrong?
You afraid to touch these guns? Careful.
- Ooh, solid. - Good, right?
- Yeah, that is good. - Mm-hmm.
- So I got that file that you sent on Kristen DiMera.
- Yeah, compelling read, huh?
- Kidnapping, stolen embryos, impersonating other people.
The woman's a total menace.
- Yeah, she was also a really good friend of mine.
- Some friend.
- Listen, I don't deny that she's made
some really terrible choices in her life,
but, you know, we were really close.
We had a really good time,
the two of us and our friend Jennifer.
- Do I wanna know what kind of a fun time?
- Oh, it was, you know,
fun times, you know? Fun times that girls have.
You know, we went shopping and pizza and dance parties
and...
ah, just silly stuff.
And then Kristen took a really dark turn.
- Yeah, I'll say.
When was the last time you saw her?
- It's been a couple years now,
but I still know how she thinks,
and I-I have a feeling I know where we could find her.
- Stop, no. Out. Get out. Out!
- Hey, wha--what's going on in here?
- Uh, uh, Leo's under
the false impression that we're gonna have sex.
- Wha--what?
- Chad! Get your mind out of the gutter.
I said we were spending the night together
to retrieve the missing emerald,
but if you're into the other thing...
- What? No! No, no.
[laughs]
How did I get roped into this?
- Okay, Jackie made it clear that the owner of the emerald
isn't willing to sell to just anybody.
We need the DiMera name to impress her.
- Wait, wha--what's wrong with the Kiriakis name?
- Well, apparently,
there was a blind item that she had some beef with
in a magazine that Titan publishes.
- Ah, got it.
- Leaving Chad as our only hope to retrieve the missing emerald
and the reward money.
- Sorry to drag you into this,
but I mean, it kinda sounds like we need you.
- Uh, fine, fine.
Fine, but--but keep me away from Leo the lech.
- Let me ask you something. Did your dossier reference
something about some weird virtual Garden of Eden?
- Yes, that is apparently some test Greta had to take
in order to prove that she was worthy of the crown,
and Austin helped her through it.
- Huh. Sounds more like a bad acid trip.
The whole thing seems weird, you know.
Just running around with a little fig leaf.
It's weird even for VR.
- You know, you would look pretty hot in a fig leaf.
- You think? - Yeah.
- Hotter than this suit?
- Oh, I don't know, baby. It's a toss-up.
- Well, you happen to look
absolutely delicious yourself.
- You know, the party is starting soon, baby.
We need to stay focused.
- I think you're forgetting something.
- What's that?
- We haven't practiced our tango.
We might need that for the party.
- Oh, we might, huh?
Well, we can't be late.
- All right then, Your Majesty.
How 'bout we practice our tango on the way to the car?
- You want to tango on the way to the car?
- Why not?
May I have this dance, princess?
[jazz music]
- [laughs]
[upbeat dance music]
* *
- Hey, Leo. What is this place?
- This is called a gay club, Sonny!
It's where men who like other men
gather to drink and have fun. It's the hottest club in town.
You and Will need to get out more.
- Yeah, this isn't really our scene.
- I thought we were meeting the seller.
- This is the meeting place. - Where's Jackie?
She's supposed to make the introductions for us.
- Jackie could not be here.
- Leo, if you're trying to pull something--
- Oh, relax, guys! I'm not.
She told me who to look out for.
- Well, who?
- She said it would be someone tall, beautiful, and fabulous.
- Sounds like you boys are looking for moi.
* *
[investigative jazz music]
* *
- Do we have eyes on our target?
- You mean Miles and Sophie Faversham?
- Do not say their name out loud, baby.
We should be using code names.
How 'bout Ross and Rachel?
Meghan and Harry? Maybe a little Nala and Simba?
[growls] - [laughs]
Okay, baby. We will work on it.
- Okay.
* *
The eagles have landed. - What?
- I said the eagles have landed,
and they're headed this way.
- You know, it was a lot more suspicious
to say that than it is to just say
that the Favershams are coming. Right?
- And you need to get into character.
- Damn. I was hoping she'd be wearing the brooch.
- Good evening, and welcome to our home.
I'm Miles Faversham,
and this gorgeous creature is my wife, Sophie.
- I have him well trained.
- It's very nice to meet both of you.
I'm Austin Reed, and this is my beautiful wife.
- Princess Greta Von Amberg.
Thank you so much for having us, the both of you.
- It's our pleasure. - It's our pleasure.
We were thrilled to see your names
added to the guest list.
- Your mother was a close friend
of my dearly departed grandmother.
- Ah yes, Lili.
Mother always spoke very fondly of her.
- I haven't had the chance to know Princess Gina,
but I am honored to meet her daughter.
- It's very exciting to have a real-life princess
as a guest in our home.
- Thank you. You are too kind.
- Well, we're excited to be here.
It's not too often we get to attend parties like this.
Excuse us if our tango's a little rusty.
- Um, are we missing something?
- There won't be any dancing tonight.
It's not that kind of party.
- Oh.
Well, uh, what kind of party is it then?
- We assumed you knew. - Knew what?
- Have you ever seen the Tom Cruise movie
"Eyes Wide Shut"?
- I don't think so, but I'm a huge fan
of the Mission: Impossible series.
- Darling.
- Really, the first one is my absolute favorite.
- Austin. - Wait, is Tom Cruise
gonna be here tonight? 'Cause that would be amazing--
- Sweetheart! - Yes?
- I-I think what Sophie is trying to tell us
is that, uh, we
are at a sex party.
- Hmm.
[largo jazz music]
* *
- I wish we could stay like this all day.
- Won't get a complaint from me.
Of course, we don't have to stay exactly like this.
[soft music]
* *
[phone beeps]
- We should probably get that. - I'm busy.
- Oh, wait, Austin. - What?
- What if it's Noah? - Honey...
[groans]
- Sorry.
- Oh, no.
[percussive music]
* *
- And you're sure that Kristen fled here to Amsterdam?
- Well, um, no, but it's a hunch.
And our close proximity to Zurich, it makes sense.
- Uh-huh, and you said that she spent
some time here in the past.
- Yeah, last year, she was on the run with Brady Black
and their little girl,
and I guess this café was their favorite spot.
And knowing how much Rachel means to Kristen,
she's missing her little girl right about now.
- Mm-hmm, and coming back here is as close as she can get.
[dramatic music]
- Follow my lead. - Is it Kristen?
- What about "follow my lead" don't you understand?
- Okay, okay.
* *
Hi, Kristen. Long time, no see.
* *
[heavy music]
- Let's not insult our hosts.
I'm sure this isn't a sex party.
- Mm-hmm, okay.
You might wanna tell that to the couple over there
on the lounge chair by the pool.
- The couple by the lounge-- oh, my God.
Look at the flexibility, though.
It's incredible.
- That's Laura and Anthony.
They fell in love while working on Cirque du Soleil.
- Oh, how romantic. Thank you.
And um, bendy.
- So you're telling me all these people are here to--
- Have a good time? Yes.
- The idea is for couples to mix things up a bit.
- Oh.
- So you two are swingers.
- We don't like to use that word.
It just has such seedy connotations.
We're just open-minded.
- I'll say.
- We used to be traditional,
but we have found that this lifestyle
helps spice up our marriage.
It keeps it from becoming too pedestrian.
- Oh, not that we ever have that problem.
- No, we don't. - No, we don't.
* *
You look a little flushed, Austin.
- Me?
- I understand if this isn't your sort of party,
but if that's the case, we'll have to...
kindly ask you to leave,
because being at this party signals
that you're a willing participant.
- Yeah, of course, and we would hate to bring down
the spirit of your party, so we're gonna take off.
- Austin!
I, uh--I actually think we should stay.
- You do? - I do.
We might not get another opportunity like this again.
- Wonderful.
Then perhaps I could offer you a tour of the house.
- You know, a tour sounds great.
Let's do that.
- I meant a private tour with the princess.
- Absolutely not. - Pardon me?
- Would you please just excuse us for one moment?
- What's wrong?
- So much for our day in bed.
- What did it say? - I have a business trip,
and my flight leaves in an hour.
- Seriously? - Yeah, I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Well, how long are you gonna be gone?
- A couple of days, I think. - You think?
- Yeah, Carrie. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Okay, okay. It's all right. I mean, I get it.
- Okay, but promise me that we can pick up where we left off.
Please, please.
- Okay, but I might need a little placeholder
just so I don't forget.
- Okay. I don't know what that means,
but okay, fine. Okay.
* *
- You look good, Billie. - Thanks.
- Who's your friend?
- My new ISA partner, Agent Kyle Graham.
Kyle, meet Kristen DiMera.
- Ma'am.
- He seems like a lot of fun.
- Well, he's a little stiff at first,
but he loosens up after a while.
- You know I'm sitting right next to you.
- He's a surprisingly good dancer.
- Oh, you've danced together?
- For an assignment. - Of course.
So I assume that you're here to arrest me,
but I'm not sure for which crime.
- Well, word on the street is that you pulled a Sister Act,
and you slapped on a nun's habit,
and you stole a sapphire necklace from Carrie.
- Oh, that.
I hope she didn't take it personally.
You know, my associate was supposed to secure
that necklace at the auction house,
but he's such an idiot, he got thrown out.
So of course, Kristen has to do everything
by herself all the time.
- Huh, wasn't expecting a confession that easily,
and in the third person, no less.
- I aim to please.
- Well, why don't you make it real easy
and just hand over that gem?
- Yeah, I can't do that. - Why not?
- Well, because somebody's paying me
a lot of money for that necklace.
- Who? - I'm not at liberty to say.
- Ms. DiMera, you are sitting across the table
from two highly trained agents.
I would advise you to cooperate.
- Yeah, giving up is not something I'm really into.
I'm so sorry.
[dramatic music]
- You have a gun, don't you?
- I do,
and it's aimed directly at Agent Twinkletoes' crotch.
* *
So I suggest that you run along,
or I'll turn your partner into a Ken doll.
* *
- I'm Leo, Jackie's friend.
- I'm Cori, Cori Blake. This is my establishment here,
and I'm the mistress of ceremonies tonight.
- Ceremonies?
- Who's this trio of delectable snacks?
- Cori, meet Will and Sonny,
most boring married couple in the entire southwest,
and this is my bae, Chad DiMera.
- I'm not, I'm not his bae.
- Okay, honey. I know, I know. We don't do labels.
He's separated from his wife,
so we're just having a little boys' weekend.
- Can we get back to the matter
at hand, please? - Oh, okay.
So you're the serious one, huh?
- Oh, okay. We heard you are in possession
of a very important emerald, and our friend Chad here
was hoping he could purchase it from you.
- So I've heard.
Problem is, I don't know if I want to sell it.
- Well, hey. I'm willing to pay top dollar for it.
- It's not about the money, honey.
That thing has sentimental value.
Okay? Besides,
I've had that thing for years, and it's brought me great luck.
I wanna make sure it goes to a loving home.
- Well, then I promise
I'm gonna take really good care of it.
- Tell you what, sugar. I'll be willing to part
with my precious emerald at a reasonable price--
- Well, great. That's fanta--
- I was not finished.
At a reasonable price if one of you can prove
you're worthy of its majestic power and beauty.
- How do we do that? - How do we do it?
- Simple. By winning tonight's competition.
- Ah, okay. I-I'm sorry. What--what competition?
* *
- A drag queen contest?
- May the best bitch win.
* *
- Leo, no. Leo, I swear to God.
- I'm not letting you go anywhere alone with that guy.
- It's gonna give me a chance to find the brooch, though.
- It's gonna give him a chance to swing with you.
- They said that they don't really like that label.
- That's okay, and I don't like this freak show.
And now I need to take a shower in bleach.
- I will make sure to find a way to put Miles off.
It's gonna be fine. Babe, trust me.
- It's not you that I'm worried about.
- We have to recover that amethyst for the ISA.
We have no choice.
- Everything all right?
- Yes, yes, um, Austin here is just a little shy,
but I have convinced him that it'll be fun.
Right, sweetheart? - Yes, yes.
I mean, how can you say no to a princess?
- Well, shall we?
- Mm-hmm. Thank you.
- Tell me about yourself, Austin.
- Me?
Well, I'm a former boxer, former piano player,
but now I'm a forensic accountant.
- That's disappointing.
I was hoping for a different answer.
- Well, I'm sure my job probably bores
somebody like you, now, right?
- What I meant to say was,
I was hoping you'd tell me
who you really are,
because you're sure as hell not Austin Reed.
- Hey. - Oh.
- I'm gonna miss you.
- Thank you. Me too.
At least you'll have your mother
to keep you company.
- It's not as comforting as you might think.
- [laughs] [knock at door]
- [softly] No.
I'll get that.
- Hey, pumpkin!
I've got some fresh pastries for you.
- John! - Oh my goodness.
They smell delicious.
- Big man! - Not for you.
- That smells good. - Yeah, Doc and I--
we had breakfast with Tony and Anna this morning.
They went shopping, yuck,
and I used the apple strudel as an excuse
so I could hang out with you guys.
- Good idea. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Any word on the hunt for Kristen?
- Nah, not yet, not yet, but I'm sure
that Billie Reed has got that situation under control.
- You know, Kristen, you can't just threaten to shoot off
people's private parts.
- Who says?
- Maybe don't antagonize her, Agent Reed.
- You're threatening to take my precious jewels.
I just figured that turnabout is fair play.
- Oh come on, Kristen. I know you.
You're not gonna shoot off poor Graham's business.
Now, I'm just gonna slowly take out my gun.
- I don't think that's a good idea.
- Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree
with her on that front.
- You know what? I love you,
but this behavior is not okay with me.
It is not okay.
- Oh please. Spare me the lecture.
Why don't you have a piece of bread
and chill a little? - What?
- We haven't even started on about your behavior.
How 'bout when you blamed Hope for your miscarriage,
and then you slept with your daughter's boyfriend,
Nick? - Can I just interrupt
for a second? - They weren't even dating yet.
I don't care! It's still gross.
I haven't even started on your porn career.
Or how 'bout your drug problem, Billie?
[tense music]
- You shut your damn mouth.
I've had about enough of you, you beast.
* *
- Beast?
- How dare you?
* *
[upbeat party music]
* *
- So which one of you has the best hair and makeup skills?
- Yeah, uh, guys, I-I don't know about this.
- Well, you heard the woman.
It's the only way to get the emerald back for the ISA.
- Maybe I could change her mind.
- Spoiler alert: you can't.
Besides, you were a model once.
It's just like walking down a runway, only in heels.
- I did photo shoots-- wait, heels?
I'm gonna break my-- I'm gonna break my neck!
- Hey this isn't really my wheelhouse either but you know.
- Yeah, but you're--
- No, no, no, hey, whoa, whoa.
Maybe don't say any more, buddy. Okay, look.
My point is that if the four of us compete,
we have better odds of winning.
- Oh, I can't participate.
- What? - Why not?
- Well, I'm barred
from all regional drag competitions.
It's a long story involving wig snatching
and an oversized cucumber. - Oh, my God, Leo.
- What? What is happening?
- Hey, buddy, buddy, buddy. Just breathe. Okay?
Okay, so I guess it's up to the three of us.
- Well, the competition starts soon, so...
- Let's get--
- We should probably get some costumes.
- All right.
* *
- Hey, you all right, buddy?
* *
- It's just that, what if I'm an ugly woman?
- Hey, you're gonna do great, big guy.
- And this is the primary bedroom.
- How lovely.
You and Sophie have exquisite taste.
- We do have an eye for beautiful things.
[low jazz music]
* *
- Mm.
Are you nervous? - A little.
Uh, I-I've never really done this before.
- We can go back downstairs. It's okay.
- No, no.
I--I am exactly where I want to be.
- I am very happy to hear that.
- Uh, what are you doing?
- I thought we could get a little more comfortable.
- Oh, great idea,
but do you mind if I take the lead?
- Ooh. - I like being in control.
- At your service, princess.
- Do you happen to have any... restraints?
* *
- I knew I liked you.
* *
Will these do?
- Perfect. Now get in bed.
- As you wish.
- These should hold you.
[dramatic music]
- I don't know what you mean. I'm Austin Reed.
My parents are Kate Roberts and--
- Oh, save the rehearsed speech, handsome.
Miles' family owns a bank in Lugano.
We used to live in Switzerland.
- Okay, so?
- So I once took a yoga class
with the real Austin Reed
and his lovely wife, Carrie.
* *
- Okay, I'm sorry for deceiving you.
I'm gonna go grab my wife,
and we're gonna get the hell out of here,
all right? - Oh, relax, relax.
I'm guessing you faked your identify
so you could crash our little party.
- Uh, yeah.
Actually, that is exactly what we did.
We were in town for a couple days.
and, you know, were looking for a little bit of excitement,
so we, uh,
did a little research and pretended to be royalty.
- Well, I can't blame you for role-playing.
It's my favorite pastime. You two should stay.
- Really? You're not upset about us lying?
- Oh, half the people here are using aliases.
It adds to the aura of the mystery.
Plus, it's nice to have some...
fresh blood here,
especially a beautiful couple like you and the princess.
- I appreciate that.
- I just have one itty, bitty request.
* *
- Name it.
- That you take me
right here, right now.
* *
- I am completely in control.
- Mm...
I don't normally bring strangers up to our bedroom,
but I knew you were special the minute I laid eyes on you.
- Oh, how sweet of you to say.
Can you see anything through the blindfold?
- Nope. - Perfect.
- Um, what are you doing now, princess?
- I am getting undressed.
- I love this game!
But I can't wait to see you naked.
Can I, can I get a sneak peek?
- No, you may not.
You need to be patient, Miles.
- I must admit, that is not my strong suit.
- Well, I guess I will have to teach you to be patient.
- No, no, no, no. I am very ticklish. No, no, no!
- Then be a good boy!
- Ooh!
You do like being in control.
- Mm-hmm, and you love it.
Say you love it, or you get the feather.
- I love it. I love it. I love it!
Where'd you go? What are you doing now?
- I am looking for other fun props.
- I am rather fond of candle wax on my nipples.
- Hmm, excellent.
Well, I will just get the matches then.
- [laughs]
[dramatic music]
* *
- Did you find those candles yet?
Huh?
Greta? [laughs]
Princess?
- You want to have sex out here
on this patio in front of everyone?
- In case you haven't noticed, people aren't shy
at this kind of party. Except for you, of course.
- Yeah, see I've never actually done anything like this before.
- Oh, see, I was nervous my first time too,
but you would be amazed at just how quickly you adapt.
Just let your body and my body lead the way.
- Yeah, I don't know, Sophie.
- Oh, no pressure, but I must remind you
that if you're not willing to participate,
then I'll have to ask you to leave.
And I have to say, your wife seems game.
- [sighs]
All right. then. I am too.
- In that case--
- Hey! This is a rental! What are you d--
- I will cover the cost.
* *
- Hey, whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
Oh my god! There's a trick. Holy--
- If you thought Laura and Anthony were impressive,
wait until you see what I can do.
- Sophie, wait.
Wait a sec. Hang on. - Austin!
- Hang on, hang on a second. Just hang on.
- Austin, hi.
- Oh, Greta.
Your husband is having a hard time
getting into the spirit of the evening.
Perhaps maybe if you join us then--
- Join you?
- Oh, yes. You know what I say.
Two is company,
but three is a party.
We can use the table. Huh?
- Yeah, no.
We would love to, but--but we have to go.
We have to go.
- Yeah. - Wait, what--
- I'm so sorry. We have to go.
- What? - Yeah, come on.
- What? Now?
- Yes, well, it turns out I have some very important
princessing duties to attend to.
- Yes, but thank you for having us.
This was, this was a blast.
- Yes, so much fun. Ciao!
Oh, my.
[electronic jazz music]
- Hmm.
* *
- Agent Reed is in pursuit of the suspect.
I don't have eyes on the-- wait, I gotta go.
You all right?
- Kristen's in surprisingly good shape.
- She got away.
- Yeah, she did.
- Oh, don't feel bad. It happens to the best of us.
- But I got this.
[soft music]
- [laughs] How did...
- She dropped it while she was running.
She dropped it!
- Nice work, Agent Reed. Sorry I wasn't more helpful.
- Are you hurt at all? - No, just a bruised ego.
But thankfully, all my parts are intact, right?
I hope that when we look back at this day,
you can remember my biceps and not me falling on my ass.
- Well, I hope you can look back at this day
and remember this and that I scored this
and not the stuff that Kristen said about my past.
- Yeah, about that. - Yeah.
I mean, that's what happens, you know,
when you let people get close to you.
They know--they know your buttons to push, you know?
- For what it's worth,
none of that stuff changed the way that I see you.
In fact, it makes me admire you even more.
- Excuse me, did you just say the word admire?
- Yes, yes I did. - Wait, you sure?
- I did, I did. I thought it might be obvious.
- No, it's not obvious.
- I know we haven't known each other for very long,
but, well, you might just be
the most extraordinary woman that I've ever met.
Not to mention the most beautiful.
- Did you say extraordinary? - Yes.
* *
- Would you please tell Marlena I'm sorry that
I didn't get to say goodbye to her in person?
- You know I will, kid. Yeah, sure.
- All right, I'm gonna--
mmm! - [laughs]
- I'm gonna go print out my boarding pass.
- Apple strudel kiss, thank you.
- That apple strudel, strudel, strudel.
- This is for--
- Hey, well it's nice to see you two happy again.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
- I just wish the timing was better
with the sudden business trip.
- Yeah, does that happen often?
Getting called away on such short notice?
- No, it's very unusual.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.
- You know what? I'm going to take this strudel
and hide it in his bag as a surprise
because he loves it so much.
- I like the way you think.
- Yeah, it'll be a nice surprise--
[mysterious music]
What in the world?
* *
[dance music playing]
* *
- Ladies and gentlemen, or however you identify...
[crowd cheers]
The time has come for tonight's amateur
Drag Queen Extravaganza!
all: Whoo!
- Many will try, but only one will be crowned Queen Bee,
the most prestigious title in all of Metropolitan Arizona.
So we got some stiff competition backstage,
and I do mean stiff!
Whoo, it's gonna be a hot one, y'all.
You know it is, uh-huh.
So without further ado, let's bring out our first competitor.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sonny Delight!
- You can't make me! Stop!
- Oh, oh, all right. Girl, all right.
Now Sonny Delight is serving some Arizona
sizzling hot realness!
That's right! Work, Sonny!
Uh-huh. Oh, get it girl!
Yes, mama!
You better work. She, she trying.
Okay, Sonny.
Yeah! Yeah! Oh, oh dear.
Sonny side-up just turned into runny scrambled eggs.
No, we gonna go this way. Yeah. All right, let's look around.
Yeah, go and do your bow. Do your thing.
Yeah, uh-huh. Now over here. They wanna get you too.
Uh-huh, yeah. Okay.
Well, you know what, girl? You going to the trash. Okay?
I'm sorry, baby.
That's right. Go on back there.
Think about what you just did. Uh-huh. Now listen.
Next up, we got Amanda Bottom.
[crowd cheers]
- Um, my--my name's supposed to be Wilhelmina Shakespeare.
[laughter]
- I made an executive decision, sweetie.
Your name is Amanda Bottom. Now walk, Mandy, walk!
I think we have a newbie, folks.
Uh-huh. Come on, girl.
- [whispering]
* *
- Oh, okay.
All right, let's dance.
* *
Oh, all right. Look here!
Got ourselves a live one, folks.
Busting moves like she's pasty Janet Jackson!
Rhythm Nation, y'all!
Yes, yes. Yes, Mandy, yes!
All right, uh-huh, okay.
Slow start but impressive finish, girl.
That's right. You did that.
Go on, bow to your people.
Over there, uh-huh, see they looking at you too.
All right, what about over here? They got you as well.
Uh-huh, get them people. Let's go on back.
Okay, come on, keep walking. That's right.
Okay, you're done. All right, go on girl. Uh-huh.
- She was good. I don't know if she was
good enough to win,
so my Chad better bring it.
- Hey, are your feet supposed to hurt this much?
- Well, all right.
Welcome to the stage, all the way from Salem!
I know, right? Salem! Uh-huh.
We've got Belinda Chinashop!
all: Whoo! - That's right.
- Let's hope she's more graceful than her name implies.
Okay? All right, come on, Belinda.
Belinda! Oh!
Yes, Belinda.
She is serving all the 'tude!
All the 'tudes!
Work, Belinda, work.
Belinda! Belinda!
Yes!
Yes, mother. All right.
Oh, okay.
All right!
Let them--oh.
Let 'em have it. Let 'em have it.
All right, that's right!
Oh, all right, listen. Stop, stop.
Okay, all you bitches in the back take your wigs
and go home. I am declaring
Miss Belinda Chinashop the winner right here and now!
Yes, Belinda. Yes, Belinda.
Yes, yes!
Come on, mama. That's right, yeah.
Okay. Now,
I'm gonna give you that prize you so desperately deserve.
Ooh.
* *
All right, honey.
You earned that.
* *
[door squeaks] - Princess Greta, is that you?
- No, sweetheart. It's your wife.
[sly music]
* *
I think we've been had.
- Mm-hmm. I suspected as much.
You mind freeing me?
* *
- What's the hurry?
* *
- Well, we did it, babe.
Our first spy mission was a success.
- That one might be my last spy mission, baby.
I might not be cut out for this stuff after all.
Sophie confronted me about not being Austin.
I rolled over like a dog.
- Okay, so you're not James Bond.
So what?
- The whole thing kinda freaked me out.
Having to be with another woman out on the porch,
you next door, everybody staring at me.
I don't even want to think about it.
- Are you sure about that? - Yes, I am sure.
- Oh, my God, you should've seen the look on your face
when I walked in on you
with Sophie's legs wrapped around your body.
- You should've seen the look on your face.
Thank God you came when you did.
- Are you sure that you weren't the, um,
tiniest bit disappointed that I walked in?
I mean, we've only been married for a few weeks.
What if, one day, our marriage gets stale,
and we are on a date
at, like, Cirque Du Soleil or something,
and suddenly those acrobats start looking
pretty good to you? I don't know.
- I'm not really into acrobats, and, I mean,
nothing against the Favershams and their open-minded friends,
but, yeah, I don't think you and I
are ever gonna have to resort to that.
- So you're never gonna get sick of me?
- It's impossible to get sick of you,
because what you and I have, my love,
is always gonna feel like a honeymoon.
[tender music]
* *
- Ooh. I like this.
Easy access.
* *
- Well, that was surprising.
- Don't tell me you don't feel this chemistry.
- I just never thought that Mr. By-the-Book
would fraternize with his partner.
- Ah, is that what we're doing? We're fraternizing?
- It's against the rules, you know.
- Huh.
Well, I've heard that some rules
are worth breaking.
- So I'm worth it?
- Oh, yeah, and then some.
Even though you did almost get my privates just blown off.
- Kristen was bluffing.
I think. [both laugh]
* *
[mysterious music]
- May I see those?
* *
Oh, my God. Flawless ruby and citrine.
- Do you--do you think this is part of the Peacock?
- It's not a coincidence, pumpkin.
- Why in the world would Austin have those in his bag?
- All right, I am ready to blow this joint.
* *
What's going on?
- That's what I'd like to know.
* *
- Yeah!
- It's on the house, girls.
- Oh, well, thank you.
- You three really impressed me tonight.
Especially you, Belinda. - Well, thank you.
I-I gotta admit, that was incredibly empowering.
Although I don't think I will ever wear heels again
for the rest of my life.
- Never say never.
- Where did you get those dance moves?
They were hot!
- Um, we--we've been taking a couple dance classes
as the studio where Ari has her lessons.
- You looked pretty hot out there, Miss Bottom.
- So did you, Sonny D.
- Oh, yes girl!
- Oh, you know what? We should toast to our success!
- My success!
- Speaking of which, aren't we missing somebody?
Where--where's your boo at?
- Well, my-- - Your bae.
- My bae? What-- what are you talking about?
- Oh, Leo. Where's Leo?
- Where's the emerald?
- As mesmerizing as my eyes.
Almost.
- Going somewhere, Mr. Stark?