1
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:08,051
- Life is a test.
2
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,880
My biggest test
was an actual test,
3
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:15,319
the GED, the test you take if
you mess up in high school.
4
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:18,670
It's like an academic
morning-after pill.
5
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:21,238
I decided to drop out
because I was taking three
6
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:23,675
buses to a white school,
where a redhead
7
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,851
would beat my Black ass.
8
00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:29,464
But with the GED, I could get
a good job and start fresh.
9
00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:32,684
So I couldn't wait
to get my test results.
10
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,295
What's it say?
11
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:35,470
- You failed.
12
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:36,949
- What?
13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:37,863
- Boy, I'ma slap
you into animation.
14
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,256
- Ow.
[car horns honk]
15
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,302
Oh.
16
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:43,434
[gasps]
Good Lord.
17
00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:46,307
- Do you know how hard
it is to fail the GED?
18
00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:48,048
I have an uncle
who can't read clocks.
19
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,919
And he has two GEDs.
20
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,790
- I can't believe
you slapped me.
21
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:54,141
- I can't believe you
made me throw my back out.
22
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,273
- That's my mom, Rochelle.
23
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,189
Her test was making
sure her kids succeeded
24
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,713
by any beatings necessary.
25
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,151
- This dinner was supposed
to be a celebration.
26
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:05,543
We're using up our
back-to-school money
27
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:06,675
to pay for it.
28
00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:08,329
- That's my father, Julius.
29
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:10,244
His test was growing up poor.
30
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:12,594
So he knew
the cost of everything.
31
00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:15,814
- Get your own money, fly.
32
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:18,339
- Hey.
33
00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:21,168
- Excuse me,
my son failed his GED.
34
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:22,821
And I'd like
to return his food.
35
00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:24,780
He only ate 4 cent
worth of fries.
36
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,348
- So does this mean
I'm the smart one now?
37
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:28,610
- You're eating a straw.
38
00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:29,872
- Cool.
39
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,352
- That's my brother Drew.
40
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,571
Everyone thought I
was his younger brother.
41
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:35,573
He never worried
about tests because
42
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,401
the only thing greater
than white privilege
43
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,142
is hot privilege.
44
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:42,493
- Daddy, since Chris failed,
does that mean it's OK for us
45
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,582
to drop out, smoke crack,
and become strippers?
46
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,323
- [chuckles]
No, baby.
47
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,629
- Oh, see what you did, Chris?
48
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,021
Set a better example.
49
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,806
- [grunts]
50
00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:53,548
- Tonya was the youngest
and my dad's favorite.
51
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:56,594
Her test was how she could
make my life a living hell.
52
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,683
And she got an A every time.
53
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,729
- I just wanted
to get a fresh start.
54
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,644
I can't go back to that school.
55
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,036
- Maybe this year
will be better.
56
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,255
- I don't know about that.
57
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,039
History doesn't repeat itself.
58
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,563
It reboots.
59
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,086
And everybody hates a reboot.
60
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,218
Ugh!
61
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:14,134
[upbeat hip-hop music]
62
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:17,049
♪ ♪
63
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:21,532
Singers: ♪ Everybody
still hates Chris ♪
64
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:24,361
[vocalizing]
65
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:27,016
- I couldn't believe
I failed the GED.
66
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:29,279
I felt like I had no future.
67
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:31,238
I was going to get
stuck in Bed-Stuy,
68
00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:34,763
Do or Die, where I was going
to die of embarrassment.
69
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,374
Back in '87, we didn't
have social media.
70
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:41,422
But on my block, at least
87 people knew your business
71
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,814
before you got home.
72
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,294
- I canceled four
hair appointments
73
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,340
to make this cake for Chris.
74
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:47,689
Oh, well.
75
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:51,910
[funky music]
76
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,782
- Little dude from
across the street,
77
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,914
I heard you failed your GED.
78
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:58,395
- Even our friendly
neighborhood con, Jerome,
79
00:02:58,482 --> 00:02:59,962
was disappointed in me.
80
00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:02,007
And he just mugged a baby.
81
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:05,837
- Mm, mm, mm.
82
00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,449
♪ ♪
83
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,538
- Daddy, can I get
dance lessons after you
84
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:11,974
cut Chris off financially?
85
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,367
- Of course, baby.
86
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:15,064
- Cut me off?
When did you cut me on?
87
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:16,413
- If you're not going to
school, you got to get a job
88
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:17,893
or get out.
89
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,111
I can't have your
sister and brother
90
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,635
thinking it's OK to be a bum.
91
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,245
- We can't kick Chris
out of the house.
92
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,681
- Because you care so
much about me, huh?
93
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,509
- No, because you
can't do anything.
94
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:26,989
You'll die out there.
95
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:28,730
That's why you're
going back to school.
96
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,297
- But I missed so much class.
97
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:31,689
They'll make me
repeat 10th grade.
98
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,474
Everyone will think I'm stupid.
99
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,302
- If you don't think everyone
already thinks you're stupid,
100
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:36,433
you're stupid.
101
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,000
- [scoffs]
102
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:39,741
[sighs]
103
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:42,265
- Look, Chris, that school
is our best option
104
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,006
so you don't end up
on these streets.
105
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:45,964
It's scary out there.
106
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:48,228
Crackheads, gangs, that white
man in a Larry Bird jersey.
107
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,968
[dramatic musical sting]
108
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,970
- [shudders]
109
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:55,147
10th grade was the worst
year of my life, not including
110
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,237
the year I had a Jheri curl.
111
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,587
And now I had to do
it all over again.
112
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:02,242
But maybe this was
just a new test.
113
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,200
I could still get
a fresh start
114
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:08,770
by getting fresh clothes from
our renter upstairs, Mr. Omar.
115
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,467
♪ ♪
116
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:13,340
- Ah, here is a fine,
lightly used
117
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:17,387
item at an affordable price.
118
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,346
- Is this from
your funeral home?
119
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,130
- That ain't none
of your business.
120
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,088
That's between me
and my dead client.
121
00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:27,092
- [groaning]
Ah, we need a new mattress.
122
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:28,572
This one is messing up my back.
123
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:30,705
- You said that was
from slapping Chris.
124
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,750
- I lied to make him
do better in school.
125
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,578
It's called parenting, duh.
126
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:37,146
- But we don't have
new mattress money.
127
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,279
- We haven't slept well
in years.
128
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,542
You bought this one
used off a pimp.
129
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:42,804
It's a Pimpropedic.
130
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,328
[funky music]
131
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:47,199
- We are not getting
a new mattress.
132
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,593
- Well, then nothing's
going to happen on this one.
133
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,596
- All right,
I'll try to get a third job.
134
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,381
- A third job?
No, baby.
135
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,208
I don't want you working
yourself to death.
136
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,123
It's OK.
I'll get a job.
137
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,561
- My mom was great
at her jobs.
138
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,345
But she was even better
at quitting them.
139
00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:03,346
- That's it.
140
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,695
- Ahh.
141
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:07,568
- Ooh.
I don't need this.
142
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,874
My man has two jobs.
143
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,486
- But don't you want to do
some team-building trust falls?
144
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:16,577
- Y'all had 400 years to gain
my trust already, Maureen.
145
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:19,275
I can keep a job
if I want to, Julius.
146
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,363
Damn.
147
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,973
- Uh-huh.
148
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,411
- That look says,
"I'm getting a third job."
149
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,414
- How you like me now?
150
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:30,242
- Ooh, Chris, I love this
new, not raggedy look.
151
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,853
- My mom hated raggedy.
152
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,724
She was a ghetto snob.
153
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,510
She always said we weren't
rich enough to look poor.
154
00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:38,076
- How did you afford all that?
155
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,817
- That looks like
$40 worth of clothes.
156
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,124
- Mr. Omar sold me a dead
man's clothes real cheap.
157
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:45,388
- And I've been buying alive
people's clothes all this time?
158
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,171
Mercy!
159
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:47,216
- It's getting late.
160
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,609
You boys better get going.
161
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:49,784
Drew.
162
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,176
- It was Drew's freshman year.
163
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:52,439
And for the
first time in a while,
164
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,702
we'd be at the same school.
165
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:56,356
I was hoping
with my new clothes
166
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,183
he wouldn't outshine me.
167
00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,794
[choir singing]
168
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:00,925
Wrong.
169
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:03,275
- Whoa, you don't look raggedy.
170
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,973
- Why is everyone
so surprised?
171
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,454
- Oh, and, Chris, I'm going
down to the temp agency.
172
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,107
Nessa's watching
Tonya after school.
173
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:10,892
I need you to pick her up and
take her to a dance lesson.
174
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:13,068
OK?
175
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:14,548
- Why do I have to be the
backup parent to a demon child?
176
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:15,549
- Come on, Chris.
177
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,202
She's an angel.
178
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:18,465
- Thank you, Daddy.
179
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:20,205
Chris,
if you're late, those clothes
180
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:21,772
will have two dead owners.
181
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,948
[thunder booming]
182
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,037
- I had to take
three buses to school.
183
00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,823
But the bus drivers
wouldn't always stop for us.
184
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,433
They were scared
of my neighborhood.
185
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,001
[upbeat Latin-tinged music]
186
00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:35,699
They were scared of
this neighborhood, too.
187
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:38,572
[light jazzy music]
188
00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:41,792
They weren't scared of this
neighborhood, but I was.
189
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,316
[all grumbling]
190
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:48,451
- You boys like candy?
191
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,759
- I can't believe this is how
you've been getting to school.
192
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:54,109
- I wasn't sure about Drew
going to school with me.
193
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:57,504
But at that moment,
I was so glad I wasn't alone.
194
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,810
[car horn honks]
195
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:01,682
- Drew?
196
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:04,511
- My friends from the dojo
are offering me a ride, so--
197
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:07,862
- When it came to women, my
brother was like Idris Elba.
198
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:08,863
- Can I squeeze in?
199
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,386
[together]
No.
200
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,301
- And I was like Idris' elbow.
201
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:14,346
Ain't nobody trying
to have sex with an elbow.
202
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,392
Well, almost nobody.
203
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:19,264
- I'm just going to walk.
204
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:26,533
- [panting]
205
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,273
- What happened
to your clothes?
206
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,361
- I slipped in mud.
207
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,798
- It don't smell like mud.
208
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:32,974
- It wasn't mud.
209
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,541
There goes my fresh start.
210
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:35,977
- I don't know
why you need one.
211
00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:37,631
This place seems OK.
212
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,936
- Because it's always the
same old, same old here.
213
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,285
Watch.
214
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,769
Girls ignore me.
215
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,205
- [groans]
216
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:50,382
- Big guys want to hurt me.
217
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,906
Little guys
are suspicious of me.
218
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:52,950
- [gasps]
219
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,474
There's two of them now.
220
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,476
- And all the adults
here are wack.
221
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,042
- Hello, students.
222
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,783
This is Principal Morello,
wishing you
223
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:01,872
a great first day
back at school
224
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:04,962
and a special shout-out
to my homebuddy, Chris,
225
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,355
who did not get his GED.
226
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:08,575
But it's not his fault.
227
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:12,013
The test wasn't in Ebonics.
228
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,841
[bell rings]
229
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:16,147
- Well, well, well,
look who's still
230
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,846
running on CPT.
231
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:21,022
You're late.
Go to the principal's office.
232
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,764
- And I assume those white
kids are white on time?
233
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,505
- See, that's why
you failed the GED.
234
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,898
You said "right" wrong.
235
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:30,292
- My first day back
was off to a bad start.
236
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,424
So at lunch,
I couldn't wait to hang out
237
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,558
with the only guy I knew
was having a bad day, too.
238
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,691
- Hey, Chris,
this school is great.
239
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,867
The bathroom stalls have doors.
240
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:43,392
- Not him, him,
my best friend, Greg.
241
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,046
- Sorry,
I can't be seen with you.
242
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,135
- Huh?
243
00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:48,963
- It's social
suicide for an 11th-grader
244
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:50,181
like me
to be hanging out
245
00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:51,748
with a 10th grader like you.
246
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,837
- What do you mean
you can't hang out with me?
247
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,883
I saw you getting pizza
with Three-Legged Jimmy.
248
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,058
I thought you'd
be happy I'm back.
249
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,407
- I am.
250
00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,582
But what would
people say if they
251
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,192
saw me with Drew's brother?
252
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,933
- Drew's brother?
253
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,152
- It's what they're
calling you now.
254
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:05,675
I'm going to see
if I can buy Drew lunch.
255
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:06,981
- I'll give you my Cheetos.
256
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:08,460
- Fine.
257
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,158
Ugh.
That stuff is crack.
258
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:11,986
- [gasps]
259
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,858
- If it was good enough
for Jesus to walk on,
260
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:18,862
it's good enough
for you to sleep on.
261
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,037
- Julius?
262
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,605
- Rochelle,
what are you doing here?
263
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,302
- The temp agency sent me.
264
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:27,218
Did you take on a third
job behind my bad back?
265
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:30,831
- Uh, now we can double
our discount on a new bed.
266
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:34,922
- Julius,
that is so goddamn romantic.
267
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:37,315
They said to check in
with the supervisor.
268
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,403
- I'm the supervisor.
269
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:39,970
- Ah!
270
00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,929
Finally have a job
I won't have to quit.
271
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,321
I'm going on break.
Mwah!
272
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:47,195
- But you just got here.
273
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,632
- I didn't know how to
grade myself on my first day
274
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:50,851
back at school.
275
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,244
But my bully Joey Caruso did.
276
00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,246
He came to eff me up.
277
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,944
- Heard about your test.
278
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:59,033
See, this is why you guys
can't be quarterbacks.
279
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,339
Anyway,
which side do you prefer?
280
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,559
- [sighs]
Right.
281
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:07,476
- Wait, he's been acting shady
all day, expanding his crew,
282
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:12,046
selling drugs, and he's
wearing all Ralph Lauren.
283
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,526
- They may look
like urban preppies.
284
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,443
But these Ralph Lauren fans
call themselves The Low Heads.
285
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:21,142
And they're the latest gang to
terrorize the streets
286
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:24,667
of New York, joining
others like the Decepticons
287
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:27,496
and the Boys Choir of Harlem.
288
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:28,497
- That's not a gang.
289
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,238
That's a glee club.
290
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,413
- Are you in a gang?
291
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,457
- Uh...
292
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:33,894
[horse whinnying]
293
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:35,504
Yeah.
294
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:37,245
And I go by Lil' Horsey now.
295
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,421
- Mm... mm...
296
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:42,729
- Looks like Lil' Horsey
found a way to pass the test.
297
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:45,209
Neigh, neigh, mother--oh!
Ugh.
298
00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:48,604
- Trust me, your wife
will love this pillowtop.
299
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:51,912
It's so comfortable.
300
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,175
- Rochelle,
can I give you some advice?
301
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:56,264
- No.
- Mm.
302
00:10:56,351 --> 00:11:01,704
- Like I was saying, you really
shouldn't make this decision
303
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,968
without your wife because--
304
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,449
[snoring]
305
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,277
- Sir, I can help you.
306
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:11,496
Sir, sir?
307
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:14,195
- As me and my unkicked
ass headed home,
308
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,414
something weighed on my mind.
309
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:17,981
- Hey, dummy.
310
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:20,157
- Back then,
even the walls hated me.
311
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:22,812
- You did the right
thing for an idiot.
312
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,860
- Car fumes
must be getting to me.
313
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:29,036
- "Car fumes
must be getting to me."
314
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,907
Why are you being
a little bitch?
315
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,083
- I can't fake being in a gang.
316
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,477
It'll get me in trouble
with a real gang.
317
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,087
I should have stayed raggedy.
318
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,959
- No one will ever find out.
319
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:42,092
Besides, right now,
you got bigger problems.
320
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,704
- Tonya.
- Hee-hee-hee.
321
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,575
- Poor Chris.
322
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:48,098
If you don't have the looks,
you got at least be smart.
323
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,057
- Mm-hmm.
324
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:52,973
- Oh, hey, Chris,
I'm not talking about you.
325
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,975
I'm talking about another
Chris who failed the GED.
326
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,672
- I'm sorry I'm late.
327
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:59,501
- Oh, don't apologize to me.
328
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:00,807
[thunder booming]
329
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:02,460
I'ma pray for you, baby.
330
00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:04,332
- Chris,
I better not miss my chance
331
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,638
to learn dance techniques
developed by my all-time
332
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,249
favorite artist.
333
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:11,426
- What do you like about
El DeBarge so much?
334
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,863
- He's a generational talent
being held back
335
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,735
by his no-talent siblings.
336
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:18,389
Just like me.
337
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,914
[El DeBarge's
"Rhythm of the Night]
338
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,525
♪ ♪
339
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:26,789
- You're El DeDead.
340
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:33,491
- Back at school, faking gang
status upped my real status.
341
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:36,146
People who used to
call me the N-word
342
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:39,410
now called me
the well-dressed N-word.
343
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:43,937
[all gasping]
344
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,765
[bell rings]
345
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:46,809
Even Thurman was scared.
346
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:52,075
- I'm going to the bathroom.
347
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:53,990
- Y-you need a pass?
348
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,862
- This is my pass, homey.
349
00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:56,950
[all gasping]
350
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,299
- That wasn't a gang sign.
351
00:12:58,386 --> 00:13:01,911
It was sign language
for "butterfly."
352
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:04,784
- Come back with the Mrs.
353
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,568
She wouldn't want to miss this.
354
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:07,569
- Can I speak with you?
355
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,266
- Yes, supervisor?
356
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:11,747
You want to test out
this product?
357
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,315
- Rochelle, you're literally
sleeping on the job.
358
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:15,751
- I'm not.
359
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,927
But if I was, what better
advertisement than me
360
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:19,276
sleeping on a mattress?
361
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,104
You want me wide awake
on a mattress?
362
00:13:21,191 --> 00:13:22,410
I know what I'm doing.
363
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:23,498
- Based on what?
364
00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,195
- The hundreds
of jobs I've had.
365
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,241
Wives are the real
decision makers.
366
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:30,766
When clueless husbands make
purchases like this all alone,
367
00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:31,898
their wives return them.
368
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,638
And the store loses money.
369
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,466
- Look, a sale is a sale.
370
00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:37,077
Who knows if those
guys will come back.
371
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,643
- I'm back.
372
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,210
- You know what?
- Uh-oh.
373
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:41,559
- I don't need this.
No, no, don't say it.
374
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,997
- My man has three jobs.
375
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:48,871
- And you barely have one,
Kevin.
376
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,657
- Dude, your rep at the
school has never been higher.
377
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:55,922
- Oh, so now you're willing to
be seen with Drew's brother?
378
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,227
- Yeah, you have status.
379
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,794
And I want to get in there.
380
00:13:58,881 --> 00:13:59,839
Why are they fighting?
381
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,449
- They wanted to join my gang.
382
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:03,755
I said they had to
jump themselves in.
383
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,670
- Wow, I haven't had sex.
384
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,672
But I know this is
better than that.
385
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,370
[PA screeching]
386
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:11,546
- Little Horsey,
report to my office.
387
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:14,114
[all gasping]
388
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,420
[horse whinnying]
389
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:18,335
I'm hearing
some rumors about you.
390
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,381
I can't say I'm surprised
that you answered
391
00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:22,209
the call of the streets.
392
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:24,211
But I want you
to know I understand
393
00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:27,954
that gang life is the only way
you can feed all your babies.
394
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,477
- I don't have babies.
395
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:30,870
And I'm not really in a gang.
396
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:33,002
- Chris,
we have a zero tolerance
397
00:14:33,089 --> 00:14:34,656
policy for this kind of thing.
398
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,049
But good news.
399
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:39,226
The district created a
new program called GRIP.
400
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,228
- Gang Resistance Is 'Portant?
401
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:44,492
- Yes, so 'portant.
402
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:47,974
And I want to help you
get a grip on your life.
403
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,845
- [sighs]
All right, so what is it,
404
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,716
some kind of extra class?
405
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:53,370
- That's where
we're in kind of a pickle.
406
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,677
Excuse me, a fried okra.
407
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:57,984
The district doesn't have
money for the actual program.
408
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,377
But we have T-shirts.
409
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:01,770
- So I'm off the hook?
410
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,293
- No, you're expelled.
411
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,729
Do you want some onesies
for all your babies?
412
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:07,515
[funky music]
413
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,691
- If my mom found
out I got expelled,
414
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:11,693
she would knock me
into Claymation.
415
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:15,436
So I decided to fake
going to school.
416
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:19,701
After my parents left the
next day, I snuck back in.
417
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,660
[tense music]
418
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:26,969
♪ ♪
419
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:28,014
- [gasps]
420
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,841
Tonya!
421
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,234
What are you doing here?
422
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:34,107
- I leave two hours
after you, fool.
423
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,457
- That's because she
went to the local school,
424
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,328
Lamont Sanford Junior High.
425
00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:41,244
- Wait a second,
are you cutting class?
426
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:42,637
- Yeah.
427
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,813
- But you're not
cool enough to cut.
428
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,597
[gasps]
You got suspended.
429
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:49,687
But then why is there
fear in your eyes?
430
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:53,126
[sniffs]
You got expelled.
431
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:54,301
- Fine, yes.
432
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,477
Don't snitch on me, OK, please?
433
00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,740
- OK, if you let me hold
10 bucks.
434
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,829
- [sighs]
435
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,266
After school was over,
I'd have to sneak
436
00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,312
back out to walk back in.
437
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:09,011
Lucky for me, my dad had a
king-sized level of guilt.
438
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:10,317
- I got a new mattress.
439
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,492
- That's nice.
440
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:12,972
Too bad you'll be on the couch.
441
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,843
- Look, I shouldn't
have doubted you.
442
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:16,888
And I'm really sorry.
443
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,980
- OK, well, I forgive you.
444
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,807
- What?
445
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:23,983
- I lied.
446
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,723
I did fall asleep on the job.
447
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:26,768
- Rochelle!
448
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,291
- I know.
449
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:29,814
I don't have your
stamina to deal with so
450
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:32,252
much foolishness at work.
451
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:35,777
Baby, it's amazing what
you do for this family.
452
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:38,301
And I really want
to say that I'm--
453
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:39,694
- Rochelle, it's OK.
- I'm--
454
00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:40,782
- Rochelle, it's OK.
455
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,088
- No, I'm going to do it.
456
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,654
- No, you don't have to.
- I'm--
457
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,613
- Look,
I'm not even mad anymore.
458
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:46,614
- I'm--
- See, I'm smiling.
459
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:47,615
I'm smiling.
460
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:51,662
- I'm sorry.
461
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,882
- Wow, you didn't
throw up this time.
462
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:55,536
- [retching]
463
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:57,277
[funky music]
464
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,148
- I was relieved
my plan worked.
465
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,585
Sure, I'd have to pull
this off every day
466
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:05,067
until I convince my folks to
let me take the GED again.
467
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:06,938
But for now, things were good.
468
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,592
- Chris got expelled.
- [gasps]
469
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:09,767
- Really, Chris?
470
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:10,812
- Really, Tonya?
471
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:11,856
- That's for El DeBarge.
472
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,336
- Expelled?
473
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:14,642
What did you do?
- He joined a gang.
474
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:16,600
- Drew!
- A gang?
475
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,124
- What in the--
- I was faking it. OK?
476
00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,647
- That could get you
in a lot of trouble, son.
477
00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:22,084
- Now, why would you
do something so dumb?
478
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,825
- Because maybe I'm dumb,
all right?
479
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,522
That's what the test
said, didn't it?
480
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:28,351
I'm just tired of getting
beat up every day.
481
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,092
I needed a fresh start.
482
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,702
It's bad enough I have to
be back at school at all.
483
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,617
- You brought this on yourself.
484
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:34,879
Missing so much class--
485
00:17:34,966 --> 00:17:36,707
- Which wasn't my fault.
486
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:38,187
Thurman sent me
to the principal's office
487
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,710
for no reason all the time.
488
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:40,972
I missed tests.
489
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,583
That's why I dropped out.
490
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:45,499
- Wait, what?
491
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,936
Baby, I had no idea.
492
00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:49,459
Why didn't you tell us?
493
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,374
- I tried to handle it myself.
494
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,073
Guess I was too dumb
to do that too.
495
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,686
- It's always
something with him.
496
00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:00,992
[funky music]
497
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,342
- Our son is not dumb.
498
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:04,039
Maybe your machine is dumb.
499
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:07,216
- Look,
I ran the test again and--
500
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,088
wait, there's an error code.
501
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,090
- A what?
502
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,570
- Seems like he used a number
3 pencil instead of a number 2.
503
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:15,355
The machine couldn't
read his test.
504
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:16,573
- A number 3 pencil?
505
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:17,922
Where did he even get that?
506
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,272
Oh, no.
507
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,013
Doc, these are marked 50% off.
508
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,365
I also have a double
coupon and a rebate.
509
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:28,107
- Negative $1.53.
510
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,457
Hmm,
I think I have to pay you.
511
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:31,980
[cash register dings]
512
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:35,026
- This is the greatest
day of my life.
513
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,856
- ♪ Oh happy day ♪
514
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:42,164
- Chris, this is why I
say don't touch my things.
515
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:43,644
- I was in a rush.
516
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,385
I just grabbed one
out of your drawer.
517
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,822
Wait, does this
mean I didn't fail?
518
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:51,347
- Hi, um, can you
manually regrade his test?
519
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,132
- No, we have a policy.
520
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:55,177
I can't give your son
special treatment.
521
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,048
- Because that's what's
wrong with the world,
522
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,008
Black kids getting all
that special treatment.
523
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,097
- Julius, get the truck.
524
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,841
- Well, first of all,
let me say it must
525
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:10,149
be so hard to be a single mom.
526
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,367
- My husband is right here.
527
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,064
- But I'm sorry.
528
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,892
Any form of gang activity
violates our rules.
529
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,417
- He was lying about
being in a gang.
530
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,680
And I guess I was just
wondering why he had to do
531
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,638
that to feel safe at school.
532
00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:24,772
But that's probably for the
attorneys to figure out.
533
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,730
- [spits]
Attorneys?
534
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,342
- Yeah, some big
law firm said they
535
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:31,605
would take this on pro bono.
536
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,302
Am I saying that right?
537
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,913
- Maybe I was a little
hasty about expelling Chris.
538
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,264
- Yeah, and having
him repeat the 10th
539
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,309
grade because a teacher
was harassing him.
540
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:42,224
Oh, I forgot to tell
our attorneys that part.
541
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,704
- We can move Chris
to the 11th grade.
542
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,271
- Thank you.
543
00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:46,750
Besides, my son couldn't
really be in a gang.
544
00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:49,100
This boy still has
a "Snorks" night-light.
545
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,320
- Well, it helped me stop
wetting the bed, didn't it?
546
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:54,105
- Principal Morello, the PA.
547
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,585
- [gasps]
Wait.
548
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:57,674
The entire school heard this?
549
00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,110
[laughter]
550
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,678
- Your backpack
is on the button.
551
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,724
- To clarify,
this is not Black Chris.
552
00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:05,247
This is white Chris.
553
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,597
You may know me
by my nickname, Greg.
554
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:10,644
Whew.
555
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:11,906
[sighs]
556
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:18,478
Mom, Dad, I'm sorry
I caused all this trouble.
557
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,784
- Chris,
the reason we're hard on you
558
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,438
is because the world is harder.
559
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,614
- But even if you
fail a test,
560
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:26,573
I'll be damned
if you fail in life.
561
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,966
We've got you, no matter what.
562
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:32,448
Unless you bring home
some babies.
563
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:33,580
- What's this?
564
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,016
- Number 2 pencils.
565
00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:39,063
I...paid full price.
566
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,805
- So it looked like
my biggest test was going
567
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,764
to be surviving high school.
568
00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,897
But maybe I'd make new
friends, meet new girls,
569
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:48,812
and have new adventures.
570
00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:52,338
Maybe this was a test
I could actually pass.
571
00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,209
- Hey, that's
Boo-Boo's windbreaker.
572
00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:56,690
- He's wearing our dead
homey's windbreaker.
573
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:57,908
- [gasps]
574
00:20:57,995 --> 00:20:58,953
- Get him.
575
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,694
- Uh oh, pop quiz.
576
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:05,220
singers: ♪ Everybody
still hates Chris ♪
577
00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:07,178
[vocalizing]
578
00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:32,595
- Chirp.
579
00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:38,209
- ♪ MTV ♪