1 00:00:06,418 --> 00:00:08,251 [electricity crackling] 2 00:00:10,084 --> 00:00:13,334 [Diane] It's a brand-new year in sweet home Chicago. 3 00:00:13,418 --> 00:00:17,459 And one of the perks of having a rooftop that looks directly into Wrigley Field 4 00:00:17,543 --> 00:00:19,959 is that you get to experience Opening Day. 5 00:00:20,793 --> 00:00:24,709 Not the first game, but when the guys with the huge hoses show up. 6 00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:28,168 I'm talking about the groundskeepers, baby! 7 00:00:28,668 --> 00:00:32,043 For years, me and my neighbors would watch every home game 8 00:00:32,126 --> 00:00:35,293 while partying our respective wieners and clams off. 9 00:00:35,376 --> 00:00:37,001 God, those were good times. 10 00:00:37,084 --> 00:00:41,709 Sure, most of the old gang moved to the suburbs or got jobs, 11 00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:43,459 but I'm still here 12 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:48,168 and I ain't lettin' nothing stop me from keeping this badass tradition alive! 13 00:00:48,251 --> 00:00:49,084 [can clattering] 14 00:00:49,168 --> 00:00:50,626 [breathing shakily] 15 00:00:50,709 --> 00:00:52,876 Lay that sod, Bernice! 16 00:00:52,959 --> 00:00:54,709 -Nice form! -[Daniel trembling] 17 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,459 How great is this, Daniel? 18 00:00:56,543 --> 00:00:57,918 What am I looking at, again? 19 00:00:58,001 --> 00:00:59,459 The grounds crew! 20 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:02,626 Sanchez really stepped up his rake game in the off-season. 21 00:01:02,709 --> 00:01:03,918 He might be juicin'. 22 00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:05,668 -I can't feel my feet. -[wind blowing] 23 00:01:05,751 --> 00:01:08,251 Nothing a warm char dog can't fix. 24 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:11,376 Kurt! This rooftop is for people who live here 25 00:01:11,459 --> 00:01:13,793 or are married to people who live here, 26 00:01:13,876 --> 00:01:15,584 which disqualifies you! 27 00:01:15,668 --> 00:01:18,459 Ha-ha! Okay. Nice to see you too, Di. 28 00:01:18,543 --> 00:01:19,584 Hi, Uncle Kurt! 29 00:01:19,668 --> 00:01:20,959 Ex-uncle. 30 00:01:21,043 --> 00:01:22,459 I'm just here to get my grill. 31 00:01:22,543 --> 00:01:25,168 Heidi's hosting her bird book club next week. 32 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,668 They're reading The Pelican Brief. Again. 33 00:01:27,751 --> 00:01:29,376 You're still dating that ditzy-- 34 00:01:29,459 --> 00:01:31,668 Heidi! How are ya, hon? 35 00:01:31,751 --> 00:01:33,334 Hi, Diane. Hi, Daniel. 36 00:01:33,918 --> 00:01:34,751 -[sizzle] -Ah! 37 00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:37,459 Goddammit! I need to let that cool down. 38 00:01:37,543 --> 00:01:40,293 -Kurt, the birds are in the car. -Ten-four, babe. 39 00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:41,793 Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch! 40 00:01:41,876 --> 00:01:44,043 All right, have a good Opening Day. Bye! 41 00:01:44,126 --> 00:01:46,876 -Kinda hard now with no hot meat! -[Kurt] Uh! Tss! Ah! 42 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,959 Hey, we don't need food and warmth to have a good time. 43 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:53,001 When I say "grounds," you say "crew!" Grounds! 44 00:01:53,084 --> 00:01:53,918 Cold! 45 00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:56,126 Oh, yeah, my nips are rock hard. 46 00:01:56,209 --> 00:01:57,834 And not in the fun way. 47 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,418 Isn't it great, Daniel? 48 00:01:59,501 --> 00:02:02,376 We get to do this together all season long! 49 00:02:02,459 --> 00:02:03,668 [Daniel, trembling] Ugh! 50 00:02:03,751 --> 00:02:06,084 Let's go, Cubbies! 51 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,001 [wind gusting] 52 00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:09,376 ["Take Me Out to the Ball Game" plays] 53 00:02:09,459 --> 00:02:12,001 [theme music playing] 54 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,084 Another perfect rooftop party. 55 00:02:18,168 --> 00:02:20,376 It's endearing you considered that a party. 56 00:02:20,459 --> 00:02:22,376 Oh, we left the cooler in the hallway. 57 00:02:22,459 --> 00:02:25,084 Oh, I'll get it. I forgot my flip flops. 58 00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:27,501 Hey! 59 00:02:27,584 --> 00:02:29,626 Oh, sorry, thought this was hallway beer. 60 00:02:29,709 --> 00:02:32,584 No, that's hallway beer. 61 00:02:32,668 --> 00:02:35,043 Okay, that fucking rocks! 62 00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:36,209 What did you just say? 63 00:02:36,293 --> 00:02:38,001 I said, "That fucking rocks." 64 00:02:38,084 --> 00:02:40,584 I thought I was the only one who said that. 65 00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:42,459 That fucking rocks! 66 00:02:42,543 --> 00:02:44,209 I'm Diane, by the way. 67 00:02:44,293 --> 00:02:46,376 Amanda. I'm moving in down the hall, 68 00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:49,293 but I needed to take a White Claw break. Want to join me? 69 00:02:49,376 --> 00:02:51,418 Does a bear shit in the woods? 70 00:02:51,501 --> 00:02:54,126 No, they do it at Soldier Field, baby. 71 00:02:54,209 --> 00:02:57,293 [both laughing hysterically] 72 00:02:59,584 --> 00:03:00,626 Claws out! 73 00:03:00,709 --> 00:03:01,668 [growls] 74 00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:05,418 [belching loudly] 75 00:03:05,501 --> 00:03:06,334 [crack] 76 00:03:06,418 --> 00:03:08,001 Do you need help with this box? 77 00:03:08,084 --> 00:03:08,918 [laughing] 78 00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:10,126 [both] "Box." 79 00:03:10,209 --> 00:03:12,709 Can I buy you a drink for helping me move? 80 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,001 That'd be awesome! 81 00:03:14,084 --> 00:03:16,709 I usually go to the bar at noon because that's when Judge Mathis-- 82 00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:18,668 -[both] Judge Mathis starts! -[laughs] 83 00:03:18,751 --> 00:03:21,251 I was physically removed from his courtroom 84 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,043 for harassing Bailiff Doyle! 85 00:03:23,126 --> 00:03:25,959 Been there, done that. Doyle's a zaddy! 86 00:03:27,043 --> 00:03:30,001 [hard rock music playing] 87 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:32,668 This is where real Chicagoans hang out. 88 00:03:32,751 --> 00:03:34,418 Best bar in the city. 89 00:03:34,501 --> 00:03:36,709 And they got a great pizza puff. 90 00:03:36,793 --> 00:03:41,376 Which I can serve without a food license, thanks to your buddies the Petes! 91 00:03:41,459 --> 00:03:44,459 Yeah, they work at air-quotes, "City Hall." 92 00:03:44,543 --> 00:03:49,584 Diane's the queen of making friends with shady faces in low places. 93 00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:51,709 -Pays to know people. -Amen. 94 00:03:51,793 --> 00:03:55,126 Speaking of which, our building is a trip. 95 00:03:55,209 --> 00:03:59,251 Apartment 3A, you got Mr. Jorgavich. High school janitor. 96 00:03:59,334 --> 00:04:00,918 Bad gambling problem. 97 00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:03,043 I know, because we have the same bookie. 98 00:04:03,126 --> 00:04:06,084 Then in 3B, there's Fucks Loud Sophie. 99 00:04:06,168 --> 00:04:08,459 Well, "Fucks Loud" Amanda's here now. 100 00:04:08,543 --> 00:04:09,418 -[laughs] -Yes! 101 00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,668 I'll have what she's having! 102 00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:15,251 And then you got Wet Hair Lady down in 1B. 103 00:04:15,334 --> 00:04:17,959 I don't know her name, but she always has wet hair. 104 00:04:18,043 --> 00:04:19,834 There's one in every building. 105 00:04:19,918 --> 00:04:21,876 [both laughing] 106 00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:26,584 Diane, I know it's early to say this, but… I think you're my spirit animal. 107 00:04:26,668 --> 00:04:27,626 Uh… 108 00:04:27,709 --> 00:04:28,668 No doy! 109 00:04:28,751 --> 00:04:33,251 I thought mine was the giraffe at the zoo that takes those ten-gallon pisses, 110 00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:36,834 but I'm kind of thinking, it's a smokeshow named Amanda. 111 00:04:37,793 --> 00:04:41,584 [rock music playing] 112 00:04:41,668 --> 00:04:44,626 Daniel. This is my new BFF, Amanda. 113 00:04:44,709 --> 00:04:46,293 She just moved in down the hall. 114 00:04:46,376 --> 00:04:48,543 Oh, wow. Nice to meet you. 115 00:04:48,626 --> 00:04:50,959 Um, you're the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen. 116 00:04:51,043 --> 00:04:53,043 I want to put you in my pocket. Literally. 117 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,084 [chuckling] Thanks! But I assume you mean "figuratively." 118 00:04:56,168 --> 00:04:57,001 Ooh! 119 00:04:57,084 --> 00:04:59,793 What are you, a little college boy? Where do you go to school? 120 00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:04,126 Uh, I was supposed to go to Stanford, but I'm taking a gap year. 121 00:05:04,209 --> 00:05:05,918 Yeah, I took a "gap year" once. 122 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,126 Rehab! 123 00:05:07,209 --> 00:05:09,376 Yeah! I'll drink to that! 124 00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:10,418 [hard rock sting] 125 00:05:10,501 --> 00:05:14,418 Yeah, I actually took a year so I could focus on my art. 126 00:05:14,501 --> 00:05:17,584 That's amazing! You know, art is everything. 127 00:05:17,668 --> 00:05:19,876 What kind of art are you doing? 128 00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:22,293 What kind of art? Hmm. That's a… 129 00:05:22,376 --> 00:05:26,918 The thing is, you can't define "art" as actually doing, you know? 130 00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:28,501 Oh, I can't even! 131 00:05:28,584 --> 00:05:31,043 I want to cut his face off and eat it. Literally. 132 00:05:31,126 --> 00:05:34,584 [chuckling] I know, right? Okay, see you at home, Danny boy. 133 00:05:36,418 --> 00:05:37,918 Hmm? Ah! 134 00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:40,709 Daniel, can you cover me? 135 00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:43,084 I need a five-minute meditation break. 136 00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:45,543 Oh, broadening your horizons, huh? 137 00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:50,126 Yeah, I thought I'd dive in and follow my passion. [chuckles] 138 00:05:50,209 --> 00:05:53,793 Speaking of passion, one of our passion fruit smoothies went… 139 00:05:53,876 --> 00:05:54,709 [whistles] 140 00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:58,126 …right through someone, and stall three is a bit of a mess. Huh. 141 00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:00,001 Right. 142 00:06:02,959 --> 00:06:04,084 Tits up! 143 00:06:04,168 --> 00:06:05,043 Tits out! 144 00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:06,626 [both] What are you gonna do? 145 00:06:06,709 --> 00:06:08,001 I taught her that. 146 00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:11,168 Obviously. You're the only one who says that. 147 00:06:11,251 --> 00:06:17,168 Gideon, Zuzana, Tina, I would like you to meet my new bestie, Amanda. 148 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,001 All white women look alike to me, 149 00:06:19,084 --> 00:06:21,543 but you two, you really look alike. 150 00:06:21,626 --> 00:06:23,001 [in thick accent] I hear that. 151 00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,543 Oh my God, are you Polish? 152 00:06:24,626 --> 00:06:27,834 I went to Prague in college. I remember nothing. 153 00:06:27,918 --> 00:06:32,793 Diane, I told you on your off days, feel free to not drop by. 154 00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:36,376 You must be Gideon! Your fedora is giving me life. 155 00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:41,584 It's not a fedora, it's a troubadour, and you-will-not-touch it. 156 00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:44,834 Okay, I gotta hit the head. These drinks went right through me. 157 00:06:44,918 --> 00:06:46,418 How great is Amanda? 158 00:06:46,501 --> 00:06:49,918 She's basically me, but… five years younger. 159 00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:52,126 Ha! Ten years, at least. 160 00:06:52,209 --> 00:06:53,668 I was gonna say 15. 161 00:06:53,751 --> 00:06:55,126 [in thick accent] No, no. 20. 162 00:06:55,209 --> 00:06:58,459 Oh my God, you guys are such zaddies, 163 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,709 which is a term Amanda taught me! 164 00:07:00,793 --> 00:07:03,209 The only zaddy here is me. 165 00:07:03,293 --> 00:07:06,751 Look, I'd like to talk to you about that lotion you gave me for Christmas. 166 00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,126 Shit, did it burn your skin? 167 00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:10,126 I didn't make it! I didn't even give it to you! 168 00:07:10,209 --> 00:07:11,876 It was Zuzana! Sue her! 169 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:15,751 No, it's surprisingly effective and I was thinking we should-- 170 00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:18,501 Sorry for what I did in there. I got really bad aim. 171 00:07:18,584 --> 00:07:20,334 She knows what I'm talking about. 172 00:07:20,418 --> 00:07:23,709 -[Diane, cackling] -[in thick accent] What? No, I do not. 173 00:07:23,793 --> 00:07:27,918 Okay, we rocked this place out. Let's go get some burgers, Mand! 174 00:07:28,543 --> 00:07:29,626 Oh, I don't eat meat. 175 00:07:29,709 --> 00:07:30,543 What?! 176 00:07:30,626 --> 00:07:32,751 No! Fuck! No! 177 00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:34,918 I'm messing with you, biatch! 178 00:07:35,001 --> 00:07:36,918 [both laughing] 179 00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:40,084 Okay! Seriously! Get out! 180 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,043 [instructor] Okay, I want you to… 181 00:07:42,126 --> 00:07:45,084 Hey, Bon! I got three minutes left on the class. 182 00:07:45,168 --> 00:07:46,543 I'm not in last place! 183 00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:50,376 I heard back from Dr. Blatz. We are not pregnant. 184 00:07:50,459 --> 00:07:52,418 Got it. Uh, should I stop? 185 00:07:52,501 --> 00:07:56,293 If I'm not pregnant, then why are my boobs so sore, Dr. Blatz? 186 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:57,918 [pained scream] 187 00:07:58,001 --> 00:07:59,668 Son of a gun! 188 00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:02,834 Look, why don't we do something exciting? 189 00:08:02,918 --> 00:08:05,751 Something we couldn't do if we had another kid right now? 190 00:08:05,834 --> 00:08:08,834 What if I took you to Gibson's for a romantic meal? 191 00:08:08,918 --> 00:08:12,293 Some steak, a little wine. I'll even valet the Lincoln. 192 00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:15,751 No looking for a spot tonight! Unless there's one nearby. 193 00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:19,126 I guess if I'm not pregnant, I can still eat like I am! 194 00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:21,584 [instructor] Uh oh, looks like Mark W. fell off his bike! 195 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,084 No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine! 196 00:08:23,168 --> 00:08:24,751 [hard rock music playing] 197 00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:27,501 "Hey, girl, it's 2:00 p.m. You up?" 198 00:08:27,584 --> 00:08:30,459 "Text me or call me or just text me." 199 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,543 "Okay. Byeeee." 200 00:08:33,626 --> 00:08:35,626 Cat with heart eyes and a panda bear. 201 00:08:35,709 --> 00:08:37,001 [knocking on door] 202 00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:39,001 Bonnie Whiddington? 203 00:08:39,084 --> 00:08:41,334 That depends. Are you from Rent-A-Center? 204 00:08:41,418 --> 00:08:44,418 'Cause that BarcaLounger was all slashed up when I got it. 205 00:08:44,501 --> 00:08:45,459 No, I'm Ken Bundt. 206 00:08:45,543 --> 00:08:48,668 I work for Event Corp, the premiere event developer in the area? 207 00:08:48,751 --> 00:08:50,334 Now, Bonnie, have you ever considered--? 208 00:08:50,418 --> 00:08:53,959 Ugh, if you're about to say you want us to sell you our rooftop access, 209 00:08:54,043 --> 00:08:55,418 then save your breath. 210 00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:57,043 -Hard pass. -But-- 211 00:08:57,126 --> 00:08:58,584 You people are vultures. 212 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:01,918 I don't know how many times I have to say we're not selling the rooftop. 213 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,668 But each condo owner would be-- 214 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:06,334 "Handsomely rewarded," I know the spiel. 215 00:09:06,418 --> 00:09:09,668 But much like movies with subtitles, I ain't interested! 216 00:09:09,751 --> 00:09:12,459 Well, do give me a call if you change your mind, Bonnie. 217 00:09:12,543 --> 00:09:14,251 Read my lips: 218 00:09:14,334 --> 00:09:16,959 Eat my ass! 219 00:09:17,543 --> 00:09:18,418 Who was that? 220 00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:21,293 Ah, just some jerk trying to buy the rooftop. 221 00:09:21,376 --> 00:09:22,543 -[door closes] -Why? 222 00:09:22,626 --> 00:09:24,959 You don't know? I'll show ya. 223 00:09:25,543 --> 00:09:28,876 [solemn orchestral music playing] 224 00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:33,501 Art is about confrontation, confronting your fears. 225 00:09:33,584 --> 00:09:37,418 Today, we will face our culture's fear of the feminine 226 00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:40,459 by drawing a portrait of the nude female body. 227 00:09:40,543 --> 00:09:45,709 Look upon its natural form, free of the male gaze. 228 00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:46,959 Heidi? 229 00:09:47,043 --> 00:09:48,251 -[orchestral sting] -[gasps] 230 00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:50,209 Most of these places sold out, 231 00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:53,584 put in professional bleachers with VIP access. 232 00:09:53,668 --> 00:09:56,209 We're the only building who's still OG. 233 00:09:56,293 --> 00:09:59,668 -How much are they offering to buy it for? -Like, 50 grand. 234 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,751 Whoa, that's a lot of money. 235 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,834 Yeah, but I'd never sign off on that. 236 00:10:03,918 --> 00:10:06,751 I'm not gonna pay to watch a game from my own rooftop! 237 00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:09,168 Plus, I got so many memories. 238 00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:12,209 You know how many home runs Sammy Sosa hit up here? 239 00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:15,668 -And I ain't talking baseball! -Hey now! 240 00:10:15,751 --> 00:10:17,626 So, why'd that dick call you Bonnie? 241 00:10:17,709 --> 00:10:19,043 Bonnie's my sister. 242 00:10:19,126 --> 00:10:20,834 She technically owns my unit. 243 00:10:20,918 --> 00:10:22,918 She's a real shithead. But I love her. 244 00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:23,834 Kinda. 245 00:10:23,918 --> 00:10:25,459 Yeah, she sounds lame. 246 00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:27,459 Nevertheless, I should bounce. 247 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:30,501 Wanna hang at my place tonight? I got some poppers! 248 00:10:30,584 --> 00:10:33,001 Jalapeño and the other kind… 249 00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:36,209 Oh, no, I don't want to have the greatest night ever! 250 00:10:36,293 --> 00:10:38,501 Where have you been all my life? 251 00:10:38,584 --> 00:10:40,793 See you at 7:00, biatch! 252 00:10:43,751 --> 00:10:45,834 [melancholic music plays] 253 00:10:45,918 --> 00:10:47,668 [ticking] 254 00:10:48,251 --> 00:10:49,834 Maybe I should check on her. 255 00:10:50,334 --> 00:10:51,709 [knocking] 256 00:10:51,793 --> 00:10:54,418 -Hey, we said 7:00, right? -[racket coming from inside] 257 00:10:54,501 --> 00:10:56,209 Oh my God, I'm so sorry. 258 00:10:56,293 --> 00:10:58,501 I'm actually a little busy right now. 259 00:10:58,584 --> 00:11:00,501 -[Diane] Is that Fucks Loud Sophie? -[laughter] 260 00:11:00,584 --> 00:11:02,793 [Diane] Wow, even Wet Hair Lady is here. 261 00:11:02,876 --> 00:11:05,043 Wait, are all the neighbors here? 262 00:11:05,126 --> 00:11:06,918 Yeah. They all just came by. 263 00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:08,084 So random. 264 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,043 [Diane] Oh. 265 00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:10,626 So, should I come in? 266 00:11:10,709 --> 00:11:13,876 Ah, well, we kind of paired off for charades. 267 00:11:13,959 --> 00:11:16,834 Maybe it's more fun if we… hung out later on? 268 00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:18,459 -Is that cool? -Uh… 269 00:11:18,543 --> 00:11:20,126 Yeah! So cool. 270 00:11:20,209 --> 00:11:21,293 Awesome sauce! 271 00:11:22,043 --> 00:11:25,459 [Amanda] Oh my God, Mr. Jorgavich, you're my spirit animal. 272 00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:30,376 And then I realized six hours later, you don't pair off for charades! 273 00:11:30,459 --> 00:11:32,626 Did I do something wrong to Amanda? 274 00:11:32,709 --> 00:11:35,543 Did I offend her somehow? Should I be offended? 275 00:11:35,626 --> 00:11:38,626 Child, it is not possible for you to be offended. 276 00:11:38,709 --> 00:11:39,959 Because you lack-- 277 00:11:40,043 --> 00:11:41,709 What is the word I'm looking for? 278 00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:42,876 Propriety. 279 00:11:42,959 --> 00:11:44,334 Thank you, Gideon! 280 00:11:44,418 --> 00:11:46,751 But what do I do about being ghosted? 281 00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:49,084 Which, by the way, is a term I learned from Amanda. 282 00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:50,626 Don't go running back to her. 283 00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:53,209 You got to play hard to get, even with friendships. 284 00:11:53,293 --> 00:11:55,251 Who the hell can I party with now? 285 00:11:55,334 --> 00:11:56,626 Oh, puh-lease. 286 00:11:56,709 --> 00:12:00,834 Girl, I have seen you get wasted in an open manhole. 287 00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:02,376 You're right, Gideon! 288 00:12:02,459 --> 00:12:05,793 If I have my own party, she'll hear it and want to come and join it. 289 00:12:05,876 --> 00:12:07,459 -Thank you! -I didn't say any of that. 290 00:12:08,043 --> 00:12:11,209 Hey! There is a customer in your chair! 291 00:12:11,293 --> 00:12:12,668 [hard rock music plays] 292 00:12:12,751 --> 00:12:16,334 Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Party! 293 00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:19,543 [forced laughter] 294 00:12:19,626 --> 00:12:21,584 You don't say! 295 00:12:21,668 --> 00:12:24,293 Oh, y'all are hilarious! 296 00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:26,209 That broad can dance! 297 00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:28,001 [Diane] Whew! 298 00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:29,168 -Mm-mm! -What are you doing? 299 00:12:29,251 --> 00:12:30,084 Ugh! 300 00:12:30,168 --> 00:12:32,626 Did it sound like I was having a party in here from the hallway? 301 00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:35,751 No, it sounded like you were doing a one-woman show. 302 00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,293 It's called playing hard to get. 303 00:12:37,376 --> 00:12:38,959 Now, when I point at you, 304 00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:41,918 you have to laugh and say, "Good one, Diane." 305 00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:43,501 Mmm… hm! 306 00:12:44,084 --> 00:12:45,668 Ha ha, good one, Diane. 307 00:12:45,751 --> 00:12:46,668 [laughs] 308 00:12:46,751 --> 00:12:48,793 You would say that, Vince Vaughn! 309 00:12:48,876 --> 00:12:51,084 Aunt Diane, I need to tell you something. 310 00:12:51,168 --> 00:12:53,251 I had my art class today, and the model was-- 311 00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:54,668 -[cork pops] -Opa! 312 00:12:55,376 --> 00:12:56,668 Oh. Oprah. 313 00:12:56,751 --> 00:12:58,834 Hey! Gimme a quick Oprah impression. 314 00:12:58,918 --> 00:12:59,751 [Daniel groans] 315 00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:01,209 -[Diane whooping] -[glass breaks] 316 00:13:01,293 --> 00:13:03,209 [Diane] Try the spinach dip! 317 00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:05,418 No, I made it myself! 318 00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:07,709 It's okay. I'm not giving up art. 319 00:13:07,793 --> 00:13:09,793 -This is just a very unique hiccup. -[beeping] 320 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,168 [Diane] …looking good! You look-- 321 00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:12,751 -You've lost weight! -[line calling] 322 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:13,959 Ciao, this is Samuel. 323 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,626 Hi, it's Daniel Whiddington. I'm one of your art students. 324 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:19,584 Ah! How can I help you? 325 00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,959 FYI, I'm about to slip into the tub. 326 00:13:22,043 --> 00:13:24,626 Well, as much as I want to pursue a career in the arts, 327 00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:26,501 I'm afraid I can't finish your class. 328 00:13:26,584 --> 00:13:30,293 Daniel, to be an artist, you must confront your fear. 329 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,459 Embrace it. 330 00:13:31,543 --> 00:13:33,251 Got it. Confront my fear! 331 00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:34,293 I'll try that. 332 00:13:34,376 --> 00:13:37,043 Also, there's no refunds, even for the online processing fee. 333 00:13:37,126 --> 00:13:38,043 [beep] 334 00:13:38,793 --> 00:13:39,709 Ugh! 335 00:13:41,043 --> 00:13:43,459 -Confront your fears. -[Diane continues whooping] 336 00:13:43,543 --> 00:13:44,918 Drink, drink, drink! 337 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:46,084 [knocking on door] 338 00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:48,293 [pants] hey, girl! 339 00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:50,376 Oh. Out of breath, huh? 340 00:13:50,459 --> 00:13:52,459 You have a little quickie on the sticky? 341 00:13:52,543 --> 00:13:53,793 I wish, girl. 342 00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,668 Just having a huge rager. 343 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,709 Uh, everyone's in the bathroom. 344 00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:01,126 Cool-cool. Hey, I wanted to get your sister's number. 345 00:14:01,209 --> 00:14:04,293 It's just a boring condo association thingy. 346 00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,543 I'm trying to put in a new powder room. 347 00:14:06,626 --> 00:14:07,584 "Powder room"? 348 00:14:07,668 --> 00:14:09,793 Toot, toot. I'll bring the powder. 349 00:14:09,876 --> 00:14:12,126 Not if I bring it first. Toot, toot. 350 00:14:12,209 --> 00:14:13,209 [laughs] 351 00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:15,084 Anyway, can I get Bonnie's number? 352 00:14:15,168 --> 00:14:16,584 Right-right-right. 353 00:14:17,209 --> 00:14:20,293 Hey, by the way, if you need help with permits and stuff, let me know. 354 00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:22,084 Happy to call my friends the Petes. 355 00:14:22,168 --> 00:14:24,209 Oh my God, that sounds so awesome! 356 00:14:24,293 --> 00:14:26,376 They sound so cool. Okay, byeee! 357 00:14:26,459 --> 00:14:27,459 Okay. Bye? 358 00:14:27,543 --> 00:14:29,126 I guess we'll hang later. 359 00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:30,876 [mellow piano music playing] 360 00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:32,334 Mm. 361 00:14:32,418 --> 00:14:36,126 I gotta say, that angel food cake is sinful. 362 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,168 [sobbing] 363 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:40,626 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, babe. I-- I thought you said I could finish it? 364 00:14:40,709 --> 00:14:43,334 I was just so sure it was happening. 365 00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:46,251 Got my hopes up, and I just started thinking 366 00:14:46,334 --> 00:14:49,001 how special it would be to have another baby. 367 00:14:49,084 --> 00:14:50,418 [sighs] I know, honey. 368 00:14:50,501 --> 00:14:51,918 You were really excited. 369 00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:52,834 I mean, we. 370 00:14:52,918 --> 00:14:53,751 We were. 371 00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:57,626 Mark, I've been thinking, and I still want to have another child. 372 00:14:57,709 --> 00:15:00,293 I think we should see a fertility specialist. 373 00:15:00,376 --> 00:15:01,584 Mm! Ugh! 374 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:02,543 It's just… 375 00:15:02,626 --> 00:15:06,501 IVF is very expensive and, you know, we had plans. 376 00:15:06,584 --> 00:15:10,043 We want to buy that RV and visit every presidential library. 377 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,209 [chuckling] Remember? 378 00:15:11,293 --> 00:15:13,543 I know, but I was great at being a mom 379 00:15:13,626 --> 00:15:16,543 and this whole thing made me realize I want to do it again. 380 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,543 Bon, if you want to do it, I'm in. 381 00:15:20,626 --> 00:15:22,084 We'll find the money somehow. 382 00:15:22,168 --> 00:15:26,126 And they have some great virtual tours of the presidential libraries on YouTube. 383 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,126 I can't believe we're gonna have another little one! 384 00:15:29,209 --> 00:15:31,334 -I'll give you a little one. -Mark, don't be gross. 385 00:15:31,418 --> 00:15:33,001 Yeah. I-- Sorry. 386 00:15:33,084 --> 00:15:35,001 [solemn orchestral music playing] 387 00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,668 This is so uncomfortable. 388 00:15:36,751 --> 00:15:38,959 First nude? You get used to it. 389 00:15:39,043 --> 00:15:41,084 No, the model is my aunt. 390 00:15:41,168 --> 00:15:42,668 I mean, she's dating my uncle. 391 00:15:42,751 --> 00:15:45,793 Well, my ex-uncle, which I guess makes her my ex-aunt-to-be? 392 00:15:45,876 --> 00:15:47,043 Is that even possible? 393 00:15:47,126 --> 00:15:49,251 It's so weird that's she's totally shaved. 394 00:15:50,501 --> 00:15:52,043 Mm. 395 00:15:52,126 --> 00:15:55,501 [Mozart's "Allegro con brio" section from Symphony No. 25 in G Minor playing] 396 00:15:55,584 --> 00:15:59,043 [Daniel] Daniel, confront your fear. 397 00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:15,418 Hey, you. It's five o'clock somewhere. 398 00:16:15,501 --> 00:16:17,751 Shall we head to Guthrie's? They fixed the toilet. 399 00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:21,251 -Um… -Well, well, well… 400 00:16:21,334 --> 00:16:23,334 Uh, excuse me. What the fuck? 401 00:16:23,418 --> 00:16:26,293 Good news. The bleachers are going up. 402 00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,668 Over my dead, perfect body! 403 00:16:28,751 --> 00:16:30,376 Oh, it's happening. 404 00:16:30,459 --> 00:16:33,209 And we couldn't have done it without this little firecracker. 405 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,751 -[terrifying sting] -What? 406 00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:37,543 Amanda! You ghosting zaddy! 407 00:16:37,626 --> 00:16:40,709 Yeah, she got all the residents to sign off. 408 00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:42,543 [in mocking voice] Uh, no, she didn't. 409 00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,251 Because I didn't sign shit! 410 00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:47,084 No, but your sister did. 411 00:16:47,793 --> 00:16:49,043 -[tense sting] -[gasps] 412 00:16:49,751 --> 00:16:52,709 [over tablet] Hi, I'm Gwyneth Paltrow and I'm here to talk to you 413 00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:55,834 about the benefits of vaginal fish oil supplements. 414 00:16:55,918 --> 00:16:56,751 [door opens] 415 00:16:56,834 --> 00:16:59,418 Mark, where did you hide the Chase Visa? 416 00:16:59,501 --> 00:17:01,376 How could you sell my rooftop?! 417 00:17:01,459 --> 00:17:02,959 That place is sacred! 418 00:17:03,043 --> 00:17:04,418 It's my skanktuary! 419 00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:07,959 Okay. I knew you'd be upset, but the rooftop belongs to Mark and me 420 00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:10,501 and we have some expenses on the horizon. 421 00:17:10,584 --> 00:17:12,376 You finally getting your neck done? 422 00:17:12,459 --> 00:17:14,751 What? W-What's wrong with my neck? 423 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,959 How could you take away the thing I love most in the world?! 424 00:17:18,043 --> 00:17:19,626 What about your son? 425 00:17:19,709 --> 00:17:21,168 Besides Mikey! 426 00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:22,251 And booze! 427 00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,168 And that Michael Jordan documentary! 428 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,168 But this is top five! 429 00:17:26,251 --> 00:17:29,668 If you need money so bad, here's an idea. Get a job. 430 00:17:29,751 --> 00:17:33,334 Okay, I don't have to explain myself to you. 431 00:17:33,418 --> 00:17:34,834 I sold it. The end. 432 00:17:34,918 --> 00:17:36,709 Well, I'm gonna stop this. 433 00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:39,793 Reminder, you live there for free! 434 00:17:39,876 --> 00:17:40,709 [Diane slams door] 435 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,543 [solemn orchestral music plays] 436 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:43,626 You did it! 437 00:17:43,709 --> 00:17:45,626 And you made a masterpiece. 438 00:17:45,709 --> 00:17:48,168 Well, not a masterpiece, but something that isn't bad 439 00:17:48,251 --> 00:17:50,459 for someone with your experience or skill level. 440 00:17:50,543 --> 00:17:52,751 Thanks for talking me through it the other night. 441 00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:57,834 Never let your fear stop you from confronting your fears. 442 00:17:57,918 --> 00:18:00,626 [baroque music playing] 443 00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:06,043 I'll see you later tonight. 444 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,334 Mm… 445 00:18:07,418 --> 00:18:09,251 -[shocking orchestral sting] -What? God. 446 00:18:09,334 --> 00:18:12,334 No! Oh my God. No! 447 00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:14,501 [light music playing] 448 00:18:17,584 --> 00:18:19,126 Uh, can I get you a drink, my love? 449 00:18:19,209 --> 00:18:20,043 Mark! No. 450 00:18:20,126 --> 00:18:21,668 Right. No alcohol. 451 00:18:22,418 --> 00:18:23,959 Can I have one? 452 00:18:24,043 --> 00:18:25,793 Hi, honey. How are you? 453 00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,543 I'm fine. I think. 454 00:18:27,626 --> 00:18:29,126 As long as I don't see Uncle Kurt. 455 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:30,709 -Why? -Long story. 456 00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:32,751 This is weird up here now. 457 00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:35,459 Everyone's wearing pants and no one's throwing up. 458 00:18:35,543 --> 00:18:37,084 And Diane is okay with this? 459 00:18:37,168 --> 00:18:39,043 No, not at all. But we had to. 460 00:18:39,126 --> 00:18:40,293 Right. 461 00:18:40,376 --> 00:18:41,209 Why? 462 00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:43,584 Well, sweetie, we wanted to tell you earlier, 463 00:18:43,668 --> 00:18:46,751 but your father and I are gonna have another baby. 464 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,834 What? You're pregnant? 465 00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:50,793 No, not yet. 466 00:18:50,876 --> 00:18:52,876 But, we're preparing for me to be. 467 00:18:52,959 --> 00:18:54,126 Soon. Maybe. 468 00:18:54,209 --> 00:18:56,543 We've been preparing in every room in the house. 469 00:18:56,626 --> 00:18:57,459 Ugh! 470 00:18:57,543 --> 00:18:59,126 Dad! Gross. 471 00:18:59,209 --> 00:19:02,543 Daniel, are you ready to have a little brother or sister 472 00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:05,626 or whatever gender they feel they are? 473 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,834 Mom, remember we talked about this. 474 00:19:07,918 --> 00:19:09,959 You don't have to try so hard. Okay? 475 00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:12,251 Hey, guys. I just wanted to welcome you all 476 00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:16,959 to the ribbon cutting for the new Event Corp rooftop suites. 477 00:19:17,043 --> 00:19:18,043 [crowd cheering] 478 00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:19,501 Now, before we all get bombed, 479 00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:22,334 I'd like to thank Ken for his kick-ass party. 480 00:19:22,418 --> 00:19:24,668 -[hard rock music playing] -[Diane] Not so fast! 481 00:19:25,293 --> 00:19:27,959 Did someone say "kick-ass party"? 482 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,959 Who are all these people? They can't come up here. Security! 483 00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,418 I'll take care of this. 484 00:19:33,501 --> 00:19:35,668 Step aside, cheese-dick. 485 00:19:35,751 --> 00:19:37,418 Oh, shit. Uncle Kurt. 486 00:19:38,293 --> 00:19:40,501 This is happening whether you like it or not. 487 00:19:40,584 --> 00:19:41,793 Lower the bleachers! 488 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,459 No! Stop! 489 00:19:44,209 --> 00:19:46,751 People! We can't let this happen. 490 00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:50,209 I know that these scumbags are offering you lots of money, 491 00:19:50,293 --> 00:19:53,126 but this city isn't just about rich assholes! 492 00:19:53,209 --> 00:19:56,084 It's also about poor assholes like me and my friends! 493 00:19:56,168 --> 00:19:57,293 -[clapping] -Tell them, Di! 494 00:19:57,376 --> 00:19:59,751 This old rooftop is just like us. 495 00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:03,959 Broken down, not much to look at, crawling with vermin… 496 00:20:04,043 --> 00:20:06,001 -What do you mean? -What? Not cool. 497 00:20:06,084 --> 00:20:08,084 But goddammit, it's authentic. 498 00:20:08,168 --> 00:20:10,584 And there's not a lot of that left around here. 499 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:14,334 So as long as I stand in this spot, on this roof, 500 00:20:14,418 --> 00:20:17,918 those shitty corporate bleachers will not come down. Ever! 501 00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:18,834 [thud] 502 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,376 -Holy! -Oh my gosh! 503 00:20:21,084 --> 00:20:22,501 Ah, balls! 504 00:20:23,001 --> 00:20:25,543 That speech was totes adorbs. 505 00:20:25,626 --> 00:20:27,293 Too bad it didn't matter. 506 00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:29,418 This is a done deal, honey. 507 00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:31,001 [Little Pete] Oh, no, it's not. 508 00:20:31,584 --> 00:20:34,668 Not according to the City Hall building inspector! 509 00:20:34,751 --> 00:20:36,376 And his deputy! 510 00:20:36,459 --> 00:20:38,751 -What the hell? -The Petes! 511 00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:40,334 -[cheering] -Lift those bleachers! 512 00:20:40,418 --> 00:20:41,793 What the hell is this? 513 00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:44,418 Thanks to an anonymous concerned citizen, 514 00:20:44,501 --> 00:20:48,584 we have found that you are in violation of city ordinance 4-4, section… 515 00:20:48,668 --> 00:20:49,834 I forgot. 516 00:20:49,918 --> 00:20:51,751 We got proper sign-off on everything! 517 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,376 No, you missed some forms. 518 00:20:53,459 --> 00:20:55,834 But for a small fee, we could expedite-- 519 00:20:55,918 --> 00:20:56,959 Right, right. Sorry. 520 00:20:57,043 --> 00:20:58,043 It's not happening. 521 00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,751 Get them out of here, boys. 522 00:21:00,251 --> 00:21:01,459 [whirring] 523 00:21:02,709 --> 00:21:03,793 You know, Amanda, 524 00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:06,334 I was pretty sure we were two peas in a pod, 525 00:21:06,418 --> 00:21:09,168 but then I realized I don't want to be in a pod with you. 526 00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:10,793 I don't even want to be a pea. 527 00:21:10,876 --> 00:21:13,668 I want to be a kernel of corn with these people. 528 00:21:13,751 --> 00:21:15,876 Covered in butter, perfectly salted. 529 00:21:15,959 --> 00:21:18,876 Sorry, Mikey, can you get that plate away from me? 530 00:21:18,959 --> 00:21:20,168 Ten-four, Ma. 531 00:21:20,251 --> 00:21:22,501 I want that money. Do you hear me? 532 00:21:22,584 --> 00:21:24,376 I want that money! 533 00:21:24,459 --> 00:21:25,418 Ah! Ugh! 534 00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:26,668 -[thud] -[Amanda] Ow! 535 00:21:26,751 --> 00:21:28,001 Are you okay? 536 00:21:28,084 --> 00:21:29,959 [Amanda] I hate this stupid old building! 537 00:21:30,043 --> 00:21:30,876 -[thud] -[Amanda] Ow! 538 00:21:30,959 --> 00:21:33,626 And this stupid old building hates you! 539 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,126 [Amanda] You're a stupid old building. 540 00:21:36,209 --> 00:21:38,543 Now let's frickin' party! 541 00:21:38,626 --> 00:21:41,334 [all cheering] 542 00:21:44,043 --> 00:21:45,668 Um… Uncle Kurt? 543 00:21:45,751 --> 00:21:46,709 Hey there, bud. 544 00:21:46,793 --> 00:21:48,793 [Daniel] Confront your fear. 545 00:21:48,876 --> 00:21:52,876 Hey, so, I was taking an art class and Heidi was the nude model 546 00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,793 and I had to draw her, which was weird, 547 00:21:54,876 --> 00:21:57,251 but then I saw her make out with the teacher after class. 548 00:21:57,334 --> 00:21:59,418 -I know. -I'm sorry you had to find out-- 549 00:21:59,501 --> 00:22:00,334 Wait, what? 550 00:22:00,418 --> 00:22:01,251 I know. 551 00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:03,918 Heidi and I have an… open relationship. 552 00:22:04,001 --> 00:22:06,584 We'd seen it on a rerun of Jenny Jones. 553 00:22:06,668 --> 00:22:11,001 Oh, well, that is very… progressive, I guess? 554 00:22:11,084 --> 00:22:15,543 It's a little weird, but, uh… at least I have my options open too. 555 00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:18,543 Anyhoo, Daniel, I got to get going. 556 00:22:18,626 --> 00:22:21,709 Well, Bonnie, looks like Diane won this one. 557 00:22:21,793 --> 00:22:24,418 BT-dubs, the turtleneck actually works. 558 00:22:24,501 --> 00:22:26,084 I'm not getting my neck done. 559 00:22:26,168 --> 00:22:29,959 We wanted that money because we're trying to have another child. 560 00:22:30,043 --> 00:22:30,876 Bon! 561 00:22:30,959 --> 00:22:33,751 Holy shit, I am so sorry. 562 00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,543 I didn't know that's what it was for. 563 00:22:35,626 --> 00:22:36,709 I can undo all of this. 564 00:22:36,793 --> 00:22:39,584 We'll bring in the bleachers. I'm paging the Petes right now. 565 00:22:39,668 --> 00:22:42,501 I don't know if it's because I'm more emotional than usual, 566 00:22:42,584 --> 00:22:46,501 but what you said under the bleachers made me cry. 567 00:22:46,584 --> 00:22:50,334 I know how much you love it up here. And I want you to have it. 568 00:22:50,418 --> 00:22:52,084 What about the baby money? 569 00:22:52,168 --> 00:22:53,293 We'll make it work. 570 00:22:53,918 --> 00:22:56,751 If you want some primo sperm, I know a guy. 571 00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:57,959 [whispering] It's the Petes. 572 00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,584 Stop. Everything you're saying is bad. 573 00:23:01,084 --> 00:23:02,293 Let's go home, Mark. 574 00:23:02,918 --> 00:23:04,459 Is my sperm not primo? 575 00:23:06,043 --> 00:23:07,251 Should we go inside? 576 00:23:08,459 --> 00:23:09,376 Not yet. 577 00:23:09,959 --> 00:23:13,126 [gentle music playing] 578 00:23:22,334 --> 00:23:24,959 [closing theme music playing]