1 00:00:06,168 --> 00:00:09,626 ‎NETFLIX 影集 2 00:00:10,126 --> 00:00:13,334 ‎隨著冷到爆的冬天跟我們道別 3 00:00:13,418 --> 00:00:18,459 ‎芝加哥從冬眠中甦醒過來 ‎慶祝一年中最神聖的一天 4 00:00:18,543 --> 00:00:20,459 ‎聖派翠克節! 5 00:00:20,543 --> 00:00:24,751 ‎每年我們都會把整條河染成綠色 ‎辦一場盛大的遊行! 6 00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:28,293 ‎而你總能在奧馬利威士忌的 ‎花車隊伍看到我 7 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:30,584 ‎這是我一年中的亮點 8 00:00:30,668 --> 00:00:33,084 ‎我是從來沒上過花車 9 00:00:33,168 --> 00:00:36,209 ‎那榮譽是屬於奧馬利威士忌女王的 10 00:00:36,293 --> 00:00:39,501 ‎這個頭銜目前由芝加哥本地的 ‎莫莉蕾西擁有 11 00:00:39,584 --> 00:00:41,876 ‎她在九歲以前都只講蓋爾語 12 00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:46,793 ‎擔任奧馬利威士忌女王是最高榮耀 13 00:00:46,876 --> 00:00:50,084 ‎言歸正傳,明天就是聖派翠克節 14 00:00:50,168 --> 00:00:54,501 ‎我準備要在花車遊行上 ‎狂歡到愛爾蘭巧言石去! 15 00:00:54,584 --> 00:00:56,126 ‎夠了!閉嘴! 16 00:00:56,209 --> 00:01:00,543 ‎鄧布羅斯基女士,我只想知道 ‎妳認不認罪 17 00:01:01,251 --> 00:01:05,209 ‎除非喝茫了之後在千禧公園 ‎騎電動滑板車 18 00:01:05,293 --> 00:01:07,293 ‎然後撞上大豆豆雕塑算是有罪的話 19 00:01:07,376 --> 00:01:08,668 ‎那連中五條罪名 20 00:01:08,751 --> 00:01:10,959 ‎我要讓妳戴上這個酒測手環 21 00:01:11,043 --> 00:01:13,376 ‎當手環發出提示音 ‎妳就要對它吹氣 22 00:01:13,459 --> 00:01:16,293 ‎否則妳就會被逮捕坐牢 23 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,001 ‎酒測手環要戴一個月 24 00:01:18,084 --> 00:01:19,209 ‎一個月? 25 00:01:19,293 --> 00:01:22,209 ‎我剛說了,明天是絕對不行的 26 00:01:22,293 --> 00:01:25,584 ‎-然後還有棒球賽季、夏天… ‎-現在就戴上去 27 00:01:28,209 --> 00:01:30,876 ‎不! 28 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:32,959 ‎(瑞格利球場-芝加哥小熊隊主場) 29 00:01:39,668 --> 00:01:40,668 ‎(黛安的歡樂寶箱) 30 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:44,668 ‎不! 31 00:01:44,751 --> 00:01:45,709 ‎怎麼了? 32 00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:48,918 ‎我還在生氣我不能去參加遊行了! 33 00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:50,334 ‎來,把這把鑰匙吞了 34 00:01:50,418 --> 00:01:53,501 ‎不要,我上一把還沒完全吞下去! 35 00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:56,918 ‎法院命令的酒測時間到了 36 00:01:57,001 --> 00:01:58,334 ‎請朝吹嘴裡吹氣 37 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,626 ‎這蠢東西對我呼來喚去的! 38 00:02:01,709 --> 00:02:04,626 ‎妳還是可以去參加遊行啊 ‎只要不喝酒就好 39 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:09,168 ‎最好是,那我也可以用我背上的 ‎小小翅膀飛下去參加遊行 40 00:02:09,251 --> 00:02:13,084 ‎你嘛幫幫忙! ‎在遊行裡是不可能不喝酒的 41 00:02:13,168 --> 00:02:15,001 ‎但妳要是喝了,就得去坐牢 42 00:02:15,084 --> 00:02:17,459 ‎我知道,所以我要禁足自己 43 00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:19,834 ‎在家吃一堆小點心 44 00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,709 ‎邊看《山街藍調》邊來點自摸時間 45 00:02:22,793 --> 00:02:24,501 ‎至少妳今天不用上班 46 00:02:24,584 --> 00:02:26,668 ‎我還得跟羽哥一起去發試吃 47 00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:30,959 ‎天啊,他真是無聊和煩人的完美結合 48 00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:33,209 ‎對,他有點像你爸 49 00:02:33,293 --> 00:02:34,834 ‎我可沒那麼說 50 00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:36,918 ‎你走之前可以幫我拿一瓶啤酒嗎? 51 00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:37,959 ‎妳不能喝酒 52 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:39,626 ‎可惡!你這糾察隊! 53 00:02:43,334 --> 00:02:47,834 ‎我們要改回去喝脫脂牛奶 ‎這個2%的太甜了 54 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,876 ‎佩里洛醫生說我要提高攝取乳脂 55 00:02:49,959 --> 00:02:52,168 ‎直到排卵恢復正常 56 00:02:52,251 --> 00:02:54,334 ‎說到這個,就是今天了 57 00:02:54,418 --> 00:02:57,959 ‎陽性結果來吧 ‎你就是下一位參賽者… 58 00:02:58,043 --> 00:02:59,001 ‎-別再說了 ‎-抱歉 59 00:03:03,084 --> 00:03:05,376 ‎可惡,我一定是星期四 60 00:03:05,459 --> 00:03:07,793 ‎在瑞秋的點心香氛派對上就排卵了 61 00:03:07,876 --> 00:03:09,168 ‎我那天就覺得體溫有點高 62 00:03:09,251 --> 00:03:13,084 ‎瑞秋還說那只是 ‎肉桂風暴蠟燭的效果,那個白癡 63 00:03:13,168 --> 00:03:14,751 ‎我很遺憾,小邦 64 00:03:14,834 --> 00:03:19,126 ‎意思是我可以去參加遊行 ‎跟我的線上高爾夫網友見面嗎? 65 00:03:19,209 --> 00:03:21,959 ‎廢話,你還要再過一個月 ‎才派得上用場 66 00:03:22,043 --> 00:03:24,959 ‎我不是那個意思,我只是很煩躁 67 00:03:25,043 --> 00:03:27,751 ‎是嗎?那這頂帽子會讓妳比較好嗎? 68 00:03:27,834 --> 00:03:29,543 ‎沒有,正好相反 69 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:33,376 ‎好吧,如果妳要找我 ‎我會在“雙柏忌”的隊伍那邊 70 00:03:39,126 --> 00:03:43,043 ‎我想你得給我搜身了,邦茲探長 71 00:03:43,126 --> 00:03:45,418 ‎我是個好壞好壞的… 72 00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:47,918 ‎今晚有件恐怖的事 73 00:03:48,001 --> 00:03:52,543 ‎什麼?不!有人把我自摸用的錄影帶 ‎用恐怖節目蓋掉了 74 00:03:56,459 --> 00:03:57,376 ‎(伊利諾州芝加哥) 75 00:03:59,001 --> 00:04:01,584 ‎-幹嘛? ‎-黛安!我是漢克巴克里 76 00:04:01,668 --> 00:04:03,084 ‎帥哥漢克? 77 00:04:03,168 --> 00:04:05,918 ‎黛安,我這有點緊急狀況 78 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:11,084 ‎莫莉蕾西痛風發作了,根本站不住 79 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:14,543 ‎我在想妳能不能代替她上場? 80 00:04:14,626 --> 00:04:17,459 ‎沒有人像妳一樣既會炒熱場子 81 00:04:17,543 --> 00:04:19,751 ‎又會灌酒了,對吧? 82 00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:22,668 ‎我?我來當奧馬利威士忌花車女王? 83 00:04:22,751 --> 00:04:25,001 ‎-請朝吹嘴吹氣 ‎-那是什麼聲音? 84 00:04:25,084 --> 00:04:29,501 ‎我的法院手…我是說,我的鄰居! ‎法媛手環! 85 00:04:29,584 --> 00:04:32,668 ‎妳覺得怎麼樣,黛安? ‎妳一直都想要當女王吧 86 00:04:32,751 --> 00:04:35,001 ‎(1986年聖派翠克節 ‎芝加哥最大遊行) 87 00:04:35,084 --> 00:04:37,084 ‎再重複一次,請朝吹嘴吹氣 88 00:04:37,168 --> 00:04:38,751 ‎包在我身上,漢克! 89 00:04:38,834 --> 00:04:41,876 ‎晚點見,你這大猛男 90 00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:44,793 ‎活性炭復元棒! 91 00:04:44,876 --> 00:04:46,668 ‎營養滿分又美味! 92 00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:48,209 ‎嘿,羽哥,生意怎麼樣? 93 00:04:48,293 --> 00:04:49,751 ‎-很好啊! ‎-難吃死了! 94 00:04:49,834 --> 00:04:51,584 ‎這種反應還不算太常出現 95 00:04:51,668 --> 00:04:54,376 ‎不過我得說,我不太喜歡這些人 96 00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:57,209 ‎有太多文化挪用了… 97 00:04:57,293 --> 00:04:58,751 ‎免費威士忌! 98 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,668 ‎我覺得大家只是想玩得開心 99 00:05:02,751 --> 00:05:05,293 ‎你知道什麼人會開心嗎,丹尼爾? ‎營養充足的人! 100 00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:09,001 ‎哇噢!這傢伙尿褲子了 101 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:10,876 ‎出醜的是你 102 00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:14,293 ‎我的麻紗內褲只要幾個小時就乾了 103 00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:19,209 ‎小蒂,妳是我唯一戒酒的朋友 ‎我超絕望,我需要妳 104 00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:21,751 ‎妹子,我一直在等這一天的到來 105 00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:24,918 ‎我已經看妳在谷底周圍徘徊好幾年了 106 00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:28,543 ‎我在戒酒互助會上都會講到妳 ‎我支持妳 107 00:05:29,126 --> 00:05:31,918 ‎太好了!我需要妳對這個酒測機吹氣 108 00:05:32,001 --> 00:05:34,418 ‎我才能去喝酒、當奧馬利威士忌女王 109 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,834 ‎主啊,請賜予我平靜 110 00:05:36,918 --> 00:05:40,459 ‎讓我不要巴我朋友的頭 111 00:05:40,543 --> 00:05:42,709 ‎蒂娜!我不是在誇張 112 00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:46,209 ‎這真的能讓我人生圓滿 113 00:05:46,293 --> 00:05:49,084 ‎黛安,這是我聽過最可悲的話了 114 00:05:49,168 --> 00:05:50,959 ‎虧我以前還跟魔術師交往過 115 00:05:54,168 --> 00:05:56,251 ‎吉迪恩… 116 00:05:56,959 --> 00:06:00,543 ‎不要,我不要加入妳幼稚的遊戲 117 00:06:01,209 --> 00:06:05,043 ‎幼稚,就是這個 ‎我可以問我兒子,麥奇 118 00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:06,376 ‎謝啦,吉迪恩! 119 00:06:06,459 --> 00:06:09,459 ‎別謝我,這會讓我變成共犯的 120 00:06:10,709 --> 00:06:13,709 ‎喔,我的夢想 121 00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:19,793 ‎似乎永遠不會成真,永遠不會… 122 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,876 ‎馬克! 123 00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:26,876 ‎好好玩喔! 124 00:06:26,959 --> 00:06:28,584 ‎來一塊活性炭棒? 125 00:06:28,668 --> 00:06:30,543 ‎幾乎吃不出炭味喔 126 00:06:30,626 --> 00:06:33,334 ‎泰瑞?我的天啊,真的是你! 127 00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:35,584 ‎噢,不對,他叫做羽哥 128 00:06:35,668 --> 00:06:37,084 ‎羽哥? 129 00:06:37,168 --> 00:06:39,626 ‎不,他是泰瑞杜金達夫 130 00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:42,584 ‎這傢伙超狂的,他是拉薩勒街之獅 131 00:06:43,376 --> 00:06:45,459 ‎我已經不是當年的獅子了 132 00:06:45,543 --> 00:06:47,876 ‎泰瑞是交易所最會狂歡的人 133 00:06:47,959 --> 00:06:52,168 ‎我看過他自己一個人 ‎一個晚上拿下三個八號球 134 00:06:52,251 --> 00:06:54,793 ‎-我不懂撞球,那很厲害嗎? ‎-這頭髮是怎樣? 135 00:06:54,876 --> 00:06:55,959 ‎拜託,不要! 136 00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,251 ‎你戴假髮? 137 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,293 ‎哇喔!抱歉,老兄! 138 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,626 ‎我們要去麥德高酒吧 ‎你也一起來吧 139 00:07:02,709 --> 00:07:04,959 ‎我不能去,我們在工作 140 00:07:05,043 --> 00:07:06,668 ‎這木炭有股屁味! 141 00:07:06,751 --> 00:07:09,959 ‎喔,好吧,晚點見,泰瑞 142 00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:11,459 ‎你是說“羽哥”吧 143 00:07:12,418 --> 00:07:13,459 ‎對 144 00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:15,918 ‎該死!我就是個騙子,丹尼爾! 145 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,876 ‎嘿,別管他們了 146 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:21,084 ‎我們都有過去 ‎我以前還跟別人說我是直男呢 147 00:07:21,168 --> 00:07:23,459 ‎我以前知道怎麼找樂子 148 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:27,626 ‎看看我現在的樣子 ‎在喝酒大遊行旁邊發木炭 149 00:07:27,709 --> 00:07:31,709 ‎羽哥,你可以忠於現在的自己 ‎同時也玩得開心啊 150 00:07:32,293 --> 00:07:33,793 ‎你知道嗎?你說的對! 151 00:07:33,876 --> 00:07:37,084 ‎管這些木炭去死,它本來就一股屁味 152 00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:38,501 ‎我們來喝一杯吧 153 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,168 ‎好喔,酷 154 00:07:42,251 --> 00:07:44,251 ‎泰瑞好愛威士忌 155 00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:46,418 ‎你想喝啤酒嗎?我請你 156 00:07:46,501 --> 00:07:48,626 ‎好啊,我們要去哪裡? 157 00:07:49,584 --> 00:07:50,959 ‎我知道一個地方 158 00:07:53,459 --> 00:07:55,376 ‎神聖三葉草在上 159 00:07:55,459 --> 00:07:58,668 ‎現在我知道埃及人 ‎發現金字塔的心情了 160 00:07:58,751 --> 00:08:00,334 ‎嗨,妳一定就是黛安了! 161 00:08:00,418 --> 00:08:02,251 ‎花車就要出發了 162 00:08:02,334 --> 00:08:05,668 ‎我們在車上有裝流動廁所 ‎但不能在裡面上大號 163 00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:08,584 ‎這是喝第一杯酒用的儀式酒杯 164 00:08:08,668 --> 00:08:12,626 ‎太好了!我還要等一下我的大尺碼… ‎我是說,我還要等個人 165 00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:15,043 ‎媽?媽! 166 00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:18,293 ‎麥奇,謝天謝地!我的清醒救星 167 00:08:18,376 --> 00:08:20,126 ‎我罩妳,媽 168 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:22,918 ‎臭死了! 169 00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,709 ‎你今天喝酒了嗎? 170 00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:28,501 ‎沒有!等等!這可能是隔夜醉! 171 00:08:28,584 --> 00:08:32,459 ‎好了,誰準備好要 ‎跟奧馬利花車出發了? 172 00:08:32,543 --> 00:08:34,584 ‎請朝吹嘴吹氣 173 00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:38,751 ‎她在這,今年的女王 174 00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:42,251 ‎我等不及要看看這件洋裝下的樣子了 175 00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:44,793 ‎噁!走開,噁男! 176 00:08:44,876 --> 00:08:48,209 ‎黛安,是我啦,漢克巴克里 177 00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:58,834 ‎型男漢克?我的天 ‎你的臉和身體是怎麼了? 178 00:08:58,918 --> 00:09:00,126 ‎出什麼意外了嗎? 179 00:09:00,876 --> 00:09:04,959 ‎沒有意外,不過我終於 ‎把討人厭的背架拆掉了 180 00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:06,959 ‎-很高興妳注意到了 ‎-對… 181 00:09:07,043 --> 00:09:12,043 ‎我們接下來要遊行經過十條街 ‎然後妳就會接受加冕 182 00:09:12,126 --> 00:09:15,209 ‎一切順利的話 ‎搞不好我就會告訴莫莉蕾西 183 00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:18,334 ‎我們找到新女王了 184 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,793 ‎老天爺啊,不敢相信 ‎他居然就是猛男漢克 185 00:09:22,876 --> 00:09:26,334 ‎我之前跟他親熱的時候 ‎一定是喝得太醉了才沒發現 186 00:09:26,418 --> 00:09:28,084 ‎媽,我不想知道那個 187 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:32,501 ‎各位先生女士,舉起你們的酒杯 ‎讓我們開始吧 188 00:09:34,251 --> 00:09:38,001 ‎麥奇,快去分散大家注意力 ‎讓大家別看我 189 00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:39,834 ‎收到,媽 190 00:09:40,751 --> 00:09:42,793 ‎主啊,請原諒我 191 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:48,084 ‎勒布朗是史上最偉大的籃球選手 192 00:09:51,251 --> 00:09:53,709 ‎麥可喬丹才是! 193 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,751 ‎喬丹最棒! 194 00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:57,043 ‎拜託,快走! 195 00:09:57,126 --> 00:09:58,751 ‎抓住他! 196 00:09:59,459 --> 00:10:02,334 ‎嘿!讓我們嗨起來吧! 197 00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:07,334 ‎太有意思了,羽哥 198 00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:09,334 ‎我無法想像你在這裡的樣子 199 00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:13,168 ‎你在開玩笑嗎? ‎這以前簡直就是我家,辛蒂! 200 00:10:13,251 --> 00:10:14,876 ‎-是瑞秋 ‎-瑞秋! 201 00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:18,376 ‎來四杯尊美醇威士忌、兩杯野格 ‎四杯愛爾蘭汽車炸彈 202 00:10:18,459 --> 00:10:20,501 ‎好多喔 203 00:10:20,584 --> 00:10:22,793 ‎更正,這才只是開始 204 00:10:28,668 --> 00:10:33,001 ‎泰瑞要來找樂子了!嘿! ‎瘦皮猴喬還在嗎? 205 00:10:33,084 --> 00:10:34,876 ‎還在,你知道要上哪找他 206 00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:36,043 ‎老實說 207 00:10:36,126 --> 00:10:40,376 ‎我本來有點不開心今天還要上班 ‎但這真是棒呆了! 208 00:10:40,459 --> 00:10:43,543 ‎對…什麼?我要去吸一條 209 00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:44,834 ‎我是說,我要去尿尿 210 00:10:44,918 --> 00:10:46,876 ‎好啊,那酒就歸我了 211 00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:53,876 ‎我不知道你為什麼不接電話,馬克 212 00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:55,918 ‎但測試結果是陽性 213 00:10:56,001 --> 00:11:00,751 ‎我們得把握機會趕快炒飯 214 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,418 ‎我過去找你 215 00:11:02,501 --> 00:11:04,209 ‎我跟妳一樣 216 00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:07,293 ‎老娘有需求,就要來一發,對吧? 217 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,626 ‎可以麻煩妳把廣播打開嗎? 218 00:11:10,709 --> 00:11:12,501 ‎-好呀! ‎-聖派翠克節快樂! 219 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,251 ‎-繼續上酒! ‎-來一杯! 220 00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:15,584 ‎跟我喝一杯吧,女王! 221 00:11:15,668 --> 00:11:17,543 ‎不要再引誘我了! 222 00:11:17,626 --> 00:11:19,876 ‎我是說,待會吧,甜心 223 00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:21,793 ‎我得控制喝酒的速度,懂吧? 224 00:11:21,876 --> 00:11:23,793 ‎一切都還好嗎,黛安? 225 00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:27,793 ‎我喝太多了有點頭暈 226 00:11:27,876 --> 00:11:30,168 ‎來,吃點東西吧 227 00:11:30,251 --> 00:11:33,584 ‎天啊!我超愛愛爾蘭炸玉米片 228 00:11:34,876 --> 00:11:39,459 ‎醃牛肉壞掉了,不要吃炸玉米片! 229 00:11:39,543 --> 00:11:41,876 ‎-我還在吃耶! ‎-我上教堂用的褲子! 230 00:11:42,793 --> 00:11:45,376 ‎很好吃啊,妳是怎麼了? 231 00:11:45,459 --> 00:11:49,626 ‎我不知道,不知道為什麼 ‎它們的味道不太對勁 232 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,168 ‎嘿,把音樂調大聲一點吧 233 00:11:53,251 --> 00:11:55,501 ‎(DJ派帝) 234 00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,168 ‎好耶! 235 00:11:57,251 --> 00:11:58,418 ‎跳起來! 236 00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:00,334 ‎來吧,大家! 237 00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:04,918 ‎找到節奏搖擺! 238 00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:06,126 ‎妳先找到節奏吧! 239 00:12:07,209 --> 00:12:08,459 ‎跳得真爛! 240 00:12:09,584 --> 00:12:12,501 ‎我要去上個洗手間 241 00:12:13,543 --> 00:12:14,876 ‎請朝吹嘴吹氣 242 00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:18,918 ‎(博羅) 243 00:12:21,293 --> 00:12:24,334 ‎黛安,我跟妳說過了 ‎我才不會幫妳這醉鬼掩護 244 00:12:24,418 --> 00:12:26,501 ‎我沒有喝醉,我很清醒 245 00:12:26,584 --> 00:12:27,501 ‎繼續說 246 00:12:27,584 --> 00:12:30,126 ‎食物吃起來好怪,漢克的痣也太多了 247 00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,793 ‎我的舞姿比蘇珊娜的頭髮還僵硬 248 00:12:35,459 --> 00:12:37,751 ‎而且香菸抽起來超噁 249 00:12:37,834 --> 00:12:40,084 ‎妳的身體正在適應沒有酒精的感覺 250 00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:41,584 ‎妳的感官也會變敏銳 251 00:12:41,668 --> 00:12:42,918 ‎對了,現在是上午11點 252 00:12:43,001 --> 00:12:45,418 ‎所以戒酒應該不會那麼痛苦才對 253 00:12:45,501 --> 00:12:47,751 ‎告訴我要怎麼撐過這一切 254 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,918 ‎好吧,告訴我妳現在在哪 255 00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:52,418 ‎我在花車上的流動廁所裡 256 00:12:52,501 --> 00:12:54,251 ‎強忍便意、狂咬大麻二酚軟糖 257 00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:56,209 ‎通常我們會說這就是“跌到谷底” 258 00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:58,959 ‎但就妳來說,我不確定這算不算谷底 259 00:12:59,584 --> 00:13:04,168 ‎諷刺的是,那是我打過最爽的一炮 260 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:07,793 ‎所以我現在反而比較喜歡小雞雞 261 00:13:07,876 --> 00:13:09,001 ‎停車! 262 00:13:09,709 --> 00:13:12,293 ‎妳的故事太私密了 263 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,043 ‎馬克!謝天謝地,我正在排卵… 264 00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:18,959 ‎蛤?嗨,美女 265 00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:20,709 ‎可惡 266 00:13:22,543 --> 00:13:23,834 ‎可惡! 267 00:13:23,918 --> 00:13:25,209 ‎(麥德高酒吧) 268 00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,209 ‎他要唱打油詩了! 269 00:13:26,293 --> 00:13:27,834 ‎當我不過是個八歲小鬼 270 00:13:27,918 --> 00:13:30,043 ‎我媽給了我一杯人間美味 271 00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,793 ‎我問:“這是什麼好事?” 272 00:13:31,876 --> 00:13:33,376 ‎她說:“這是健力士” 273 00:13:33,459 --> 00:13:36,209 ‎那一小口就此決定我的命運 274 00:13:41,501 --> 00:13:44,376 ‎我好喜歡這傢伙,我超茫的 275 00:13:44,459 --> 00:13:47,834 ‎如果我們的酒賣完了 ‎我們就知道要壓誰的肚子找酒了 276 00:13:47,918 --> 00:13:52,668 ‎沒錯!再來一首詩 ‎獻給這個矮妖精吧 277 00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:55,626 ‎你叫我什麼? 278 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:56,959 ‎喔!不 279 00:13:57,043 --> 00:13:59,751 ‎我知道你不是真的矮妖精 280 00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:01,668 ‎但你得承認你真的很像 281 00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:04,751 ‎你的服裝,你跳的吉格舞 282 00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:05,876 ‎還有你念的打油詩 283 00:14:05,959 --> 00:14:08,876 ‎我都想雇你來參加派對了 284 00:14:08,959 --> 00:14:11,793 ‎你是誰?我真的好喜歡 285 00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,543 ‎我的名字是吉姆麥德高 286 00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:17,209 ‎而你現在他媽的在我的酒吧 ‎沒有人,我是說沒有人 287 00:14:17,293 --> 00:14:18,876 ‎他媽的可以叫我矮妖精 288 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:19,793 ‎老天 289 00:14:21,709 --> 00:14:23,293 ‎蒂娜,我該怎麼辦? 290 00:14:23,376 --> 00:14:24,626 ‎趕快離開那裡 291 00:14:24,709 --> 00:14:26,793 ‎黛安,加冕典禮要開始了 292 00:14:26,876 --> 00:14:29,584 ‎沒有,我只是在上小號,我發誓! 293 00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:31,834 ‎我的意思是妳得出來了,快點! 294 00:14:31,918 --> 00:14:35,918 ‎沒問題,讓我…擦乾淨一下 295 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:39,459 ‎蒂娜,如果我不出去 ‎在大家面前乾掉一杯酒 296 00:14:39,543 --> 00:14:41,084 ‎我就沒辦法當女王了 297 00:14:41,168 --> 00:14:42,793 ‎真正的女王是有擔當的 298 00:14:42,876 --> 00:14:44,543 ‎只要妳誠實做自己 299 00:14:44,626 --> 00:14:46,584 ‎人們就不會在乎妳喝不喝酒 300 00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,584 ‎這是妳能做出最勇敢的事 301 00:14:48,668 --> 00:14:51,001 ‎而妳一直都很誠實做自己 302 00:14:51,084 --> 00:14:56,418 ‎所以妳給我走出去 ‎讓大家看看清醒的妳有多少能耐 303 00:14:56,501 --> 00:14:58,709 ‎蒂娜,妳真是我的好姊妹 304 00:14:58,793 --> 00:15:00,959 ‎別說“好姊妹”,說姊妹就好了 305 00:15:01,043 --> 00:15:02,043 ‎知道了 306 00:15:04,293 --> 00:15:06,084 ‎這也不是他媽的戲服 307 00:15:06,168 --> 00:15:10,876 ‎這些衣服是從我爺爺到我爸 ‎一路代代相傳下來的 308 00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:15,709 ‎丹尼爾,我需要20元 ‎和一把溝槽夠深的鑰匙 309 00:15:15,793 --> 00:15:18,293 ‎他媽的泰瑞杜金達夫! 310 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,418 ‎過了這麼多年 311 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:21,834 ‎你居然還有膽出現在這裡 312 00:15:21,918 --> 00:15:24,251 ‎你還欠我們八千元酒錢 313 00:15:24,334 --> 00:15:26,584 ‎今天你非還不可 314 00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:29,501 ‎-我們該走了 ‎-丹尼爾,冷靜,交給我 315 00:15:29,584 --> 00:15:31,751 ‎去你的,你這臭矮個 316 00:15:31,834 --> 00:15:32,959 ‎你有收據嗎? 317 00:15:33,043 --> 00:15:36,709 ‎沒有的話就含我的大屌吧! 318 00:15:36,793 --> 00:15:38,584 ‎也許我們得用傳統的方式解決這件事 319 00:15:38,668 --> 00:15:42,626 ‎好啊,我等著揍你已經等好幾年了 ‎你這小矮人 320 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,293 ‎才不矮,他是正常尺寸 321 00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:46,709 ‎不是我跟你打,是我兒子跟你打 322 00:15:46,793 --> 00:15:50,501 ‎西莫斯?他才13歲 ‎看我痛扁他一頓 323 00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:52,626 ‎西莫斯! 324 00:16:04,251 --> 00:16:05,251 ‎好耶! 325 00:16:10,376 --> 00:16:12,251 ‎(幸運) 326 00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:13,251 ‎(西莫斯麥德高) 327 00:16:13,334 --> 00:16:15,084 ‎(殺害、毀滅、謀殺、傷害、痛苦) 328 00:16:15,168 --> 00:16:17,501 ‎(愛爾蘭拳擊手) 329 00:16:17,584 --> 00:16:20,709 ‎糟糕!他現在已經21歲了 330 00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:23,418 ‎我都忘記已經過去好多年了 331 00:16:25,668 --> 00:16:28,168 ‎事不宜遲 332 00:16:28,251 --> 00:16:33,709 ‎讓我們舉杯 ‎為今年的奧馬利威士忌女王加冕 333 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,876 ‎微笑、大喝一口 334 00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:37,918 ‎然後這頂王冠就是妳的了 335 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,834 ‎大家還好嗎? 336 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:48,959 ‎好耶!大家一起舉杯敬奧馬利一杯 337 00:16:49,043 --> 00:16:51,876 ‎我今天就不喝了 338 00:16:51,959 --> 00:16:53,376 ‎-什麼? ‎-妳認真的? 339 00:16:53,459 --> 00:16:55,793 ‎別誤會,我想讓大家都喝 340 00:16:55,876 --> 00:16:58,209 ‎但其實我現在在戒酒 341 00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:00,084 ‎我通常不是這種人 342 00:17:00,168 --> 00:17:02,459 ‎但今天,我確實是這種人 343 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:06,251 ‎而我覺得這樣也很好,因為我夠好了 344 00:17:06,334 --> 00:17:09,959 ‎我不需要酒精才能當威士忌女王 345 00:17:10,043 --> 00:17:11,168 ‎我說的對嗎? 346 00:17:14,126 --> 00:17:16,793 ‎一點都不對,妳爛透了,小姐 347 00:17:18,168 --> 00:17:20,126 ‎嘿!哇噢!天啊! 348 00:17:20,209 --> 00:17:23,251 ‎她不喝酒讓我覺得自己很爛! 349 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:25,376 ‎(移除廁所) 350 00:17:30,668 --> 00:17:32,168 ‎噢,不! 351 00:17:33,251 --> 00:17:36,626 ‎老天爺啊,這裡明明不能上大號的! 352 00:17:38,334 --> 00:17:40,043 ‎-蒂娜! ‎-嘿,結果怎麼樣? 353 00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:42,626 ‎-我坦白了 ‎-很好 354 00:17:42,709 --> 00:17:44,751 ‎然後他們把我從花車上丟下來了 355 00:17:44,834 --> 00:17:48,418 ‎但妳成功了,妳應該很自豪 356 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,793 ‎才沒有 357 00:17:49,876 --> 00:17:52,418 ‎別再朝我丟東西了 ‎你們這些喝醉的蠢蛋! 358 00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:55,168 ‎結果我戒酒對大家都沒好處 359 00:17:55,251 --> 00:17:58,084 ‎我現在還不如去買醉 360 00:17:58,168 --> 00:18:00,459 ‎喂,小心! 361 00:18:00,543 --> 00:18:02,043 ‎黛安,妳要記住 362 00:18:02,584 --> 00:18:04,459 ‎妳要是喝酒了,就會去坐牢 363 00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:09,584 ‎黛安?喂?黛安? 364 00:18:10,251 --> 00:18:11,418 ‎可惡 365 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,418 ‎你們有什麼毛病? 366 00:18:18,251 --> 00:18:20,668 ‎給我…滾開! 367 00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:24,251 ‎該死! 368 00:18:25,668 --> 00:18:26,626 ‎小心點! 369 00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:28,334 ‎邦妮? 370 00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:30,709 ‎我在這裡! 371 00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:34,334 ‎我得找到馬克,我們得…打炮 372 00:18:34,418 --> 00:18:39,168 ‎天啊!城裡每個人都喝醉了 ‎就我沒醉 373 00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:40,834 ‎這簡直是噩夢! 374 00:18:44,084 --> 00:18:47,001 ‎抱歉,愛爾蘭節快樂 375 00:18:49,834 --> 00:18:51,626 ‎免費威士忌! 376 00:18:52,334 --> 00:18:53,626 ‎請朝吹嘴吹氣 377 00:18:53,709 --> 00:18:55,584 ‎免費威士忌! 378 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,584 ‎去你的,機器人先生 379 00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:00,959 ‎你確定嗎,羽哥? 380 00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:03,043 ‎那傢伙看起來很可怕 381 00:19:03,126 --> 00:19:05,501 ‎什麼?他嗎?那些肌肉都是好看而已 382 00:19:06,543 --> 00:19:08,168 ‎那也只是嚇唬人用的鋼管 383 00:19:08,251 --> 00:19:10,459 ‎好,我要再去上一次廁所 384 00:19:10,543 --> 00:19:13,959 ‎你拿著這個 ‎別讓那個愛爾蘭孬種逃走 385 00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:15,918 ‎比賽就要開始了,他跑哪去了? 386 00:19:16,001 --> 00:19:18,209 ‎他去上廁所,應該很快就會… 387 00:19:19,126 --> 00:19:20,668 ‎噢,不 388 00:19:20,751 --> 00:19:23,251 ‎他媽的膽小鬼 ‎看來得由你上場了,小子 389 00:19:23,334 --> 00:19:24,334 ‎等等,什麼? 390 00:19:24,418 --> 00:19:25,876 ‎新參賽者! 391 00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:31,959 ‎新參賽者! 392 00:19:33,168 --> 00:19:37,209 ‎好了,如果祢不想讓我喝酒 ‎就給我個徵兆吧 393 00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:41,043 ‎新參賽者! 394 00:19:43,626 --> 00:19:44,584 ‎搞屁…? 395 00:19:50,543 --> 00:19:52,001 ‎快下注! 396 00:19:52,084 --> 00:19:54,543 ‎這小子上場的賠率是一萬比一 397 00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:57,418 ‎求求你,我做不到 ‎我從來沒打架過 398 00:19:57,501 --> 00:19:59,626 ‎除非舞台武打課也算打架的話 399 00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:00,668 ‎而且我還只拿了C! 400 00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:03,501 ‎你在張嘴亂噴別人L開頭的字之前 401 00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:04,793 ‎就該想到這點 402 00:20:04,876 --> 00:20:06,709 ‎我沒有說你是蕾絲邊 403 00:20:06,793 --> 00:20:07,709 ‎是矮妖精! 404 00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:10,626 ‎通常L開頭的字是指蕾絲邊 405 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:11,959 ‎有一部影集就是在說這… 406 00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:14,459 ‎不重要,拜託別這樣 407 00:20:15,376 --> 00:20:16,793 ‎你死定了,小鬼 408 00:20:16,876 --> 00:20:18,084 ‎別打了 409 00:20:18,168 --> 00:20:19,418 ‎讓開 410 00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:22,959 ‎黛安阿姨?救我!我喝醉了 411 00:20:23,043 --> 00:20:24,334 ‎妳是誰? 412 00:20:24,418 --> 00:20:27,084 ‎我是他阿姨 ‎我現在就要阻止這場鬧劇 413 00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:28,876 ‎把手套脫了,小子 414 00:20:28,959 --> 00:20:30,668 ‎我脫不了,他們把它纏在我手上了 415 00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:31,668 ‎手套不准脫 416 00:20:31,751 --> 00:20:32,626 ‎大家已經下注 417 00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:35,209 ‎這小子要打到還清債務 418 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:37,918 ‎等一下,這次押韻非我本意 419 00:20:38,001 --> 00:20:40,043 ‎我沒有用打油詩說話的慣習 420 00:20:40,126 --> 00:20:42,168 ‎好吧,那確實有押韻 421 00:20:42,251 --> 00:20:43,834 ‎押韻的環節已經完結 422 00:20:43,918 --> 00:20:46,001 ‎不是完結,是結束,已經結束了 423 00:20:46,084 --> 00:20:47,418 ‎老天,我說的每句… 424 00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:51,793 ‎等一下!那是什麼味道? ‎這地方聞起來有瓦斯味 425 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,501 ‎她只是想阻止比賽,她在騙人 426 00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:55,959 ‎我才沒有 427 00:20:56,043 --> 00:20:58,709 ‎你們聞不到是因為你們都喝醉了 428 00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:01,876 ‎今天是聖派翠克節,大家都醉了! 429 00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:03,293 ‎我沒有 430 00:21:03,376 --> 00:21:06,168 ‎我告訴你,我們得趕快離開這裡 431 00:21:06,251 --> 00:21:08,918 ‎她說的對,指針指到紅色區域了! 432 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,418 ‎大家快跑! 433 00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:13,668 ‎快點,大家快出去! ‎這裡要爆炸了! 434 00:21:18,126 --> 00:21:20,209 ‎你還好嗎,小子? 435 00:21:20,293 --> 00:21:23,668 ‎我好餓,可是又好想吐 436 00:21:23,751 --> 00:21:25,959 ‎是啊,那不是很棒嗎? 437 00:21:26,876 --> 00:21:27,876 ‎蒂娜! 438 00:21:27,959 --> 00:21:30,459 ‎糟糕!我來晚了! 439 00:21:30,543 --> 00:21:33,584 ‎沒有,這不是我吐的,我沒有喝酒 440 00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,001 ‎一切都皆大歡喜 441 00:21:36,418 --> 00:21:37,709 ‎哇操! 442 00:21:37,793 --> 00:21:40,501 ‎噢!原來還有二樓! 443 00:21:40,584 --> 00:21:46,334 ‎蒂娜,信不信由妳 ‎我因為沒喝酒而救了這些人 444 00:21:46,418 --> 00:21:48,126 ‎我真以妳為榮,黛安 445 00:21:48,209 --> 00:21:50,418 ‎沒有妳我也做不到,小蒂 446 00:21:50,501 --> 00:21:52,168 ‎等這個手環拿掉以後 447 00:21:52,251 --> 00:21:55,043 ‎-我就要向妳敬一杯 ‎-不好意思,妳說什麼? 448 00:21:55,126 --> 00:21:58,084 ‎我當然會繼續喝酒啦 449 00:21:58,168 --> 00:22:00,876 ‎但現在我知道了 ‎只要我想要我就戒得掉 450 00:22:00,959 --> 00:22:02,001 ‎都是多虧了妳 451 00:22:02,084 --> 00:22:03,918 ‎載我們回家吧? 452 00:22:04,001 --> 00:22:05,834 ‎這是妳作孽,蒂娜 453 00:22:05,918 --> 00:22:07,501 ‎妳自作自受 454 00:22:07,584 --> 00:22:08,626 ‎來,上車吧 455 00:22:11,293 --> 00:22:13,626 ‎對,馬克! 456 00:22:13,709 --> 00:22:16,126 ‎就是這樣,馬克! 457 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:19,959 ‎我不敢相信 ‎我人生中最瘋狂的聖派翠克節 458 00:22:20,043 --> 00:22:22,334 ‎竟是清醒度過 459 00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,918 ‎後來,丹尼爾和羽哥達成了協議 460 00:22:26,001 --> 00:22:30,251 ‎羽哥認清他最好把過去的自己 ‎留在過去 461 00:22:30,334 --> 00:22:32,959 ‎他願意每個月多放丹尼爾兩天假 462 00:22:33,043 --> 00:22:34,793 ‎只要丹尼爾替他保密 463 00:22:36,043 --> 00:22:39,334 ‎至於我嘛,多虧了蒂娜幫的小忙 464 00:22:39,418 --> 00:22:43,084 ‎我也知道了我是有自制力的 465 00:22:43,168 --> 00:22:46,793 ‎我也許再也沒機會當威士忌女王 466 00:22:46,876 --> 00:22:49,251 ‎但不是每個女王都有戴王冠 467 00:22:49,751 --> 00:22:52,376 ‎有些女王戴的是手環 468 00:22:53,293 --> 00:22:54,959 ‎別說了!拜託別再說了 469 00:22:55,043 --> 00:22:57,751 ‎我不認識妳說的那些人 ‎而且我也不在乎 470 00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,668 ‎我今天把妳叫回來 ‎是為了要把妳的手環拆下來 471 00:23:00,751 --> 00:23:03,209 ‎什麼?一個月的時光過得真快! 472 00:23:03,293 --> 00:23:04,543 ‎只過了四天 473 00:23:04,626 --> 00:23:07,668 ‎但有鑑於妳在麥德高酒吧英勇救人 474 00:23:07,751 --> 00:23:10,793 ‎我決定將妳受罰的時間減為四天 ‎並期滿釋放,法警! 475 00:23:11,459 --> 00:23:12,918 ‎好耶! 476 00:23:15,334 --> 00:23:16,501 ‎出去再喝! 477 00:23:16,584 --> 00:23:17,793 ‎拜託喔! 478 00:23:17,876 --> 00:23:21,793 ‎下一個,芝加哥市 ‎訴馬克與邦妮惠靈頓 479 00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:26,543 ‎罪名是公共場合飲酒 ‎與進行妨礙風化性行為 480 00:23:26,626 --> 00:23:29,626 ‎我的天!被我抓到了吧! 481 00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:32,959 ‎-妨礙風化!你們要來點啤酒嗎? ‎-給我滾出去! 482 00:24:10,751 --> 00:24:15,751 ‎字幕翻譯:齊姵雲