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‎NETFLIX 影集

2
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‎怎麼會有人頭殼壞去
‎把牛頭㹴史帕德的燈箱丟掉啊？

3
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‎這東西可是收藏品！

4
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‎牛頭㹴史帕德到底是誰？

5
00:00:23,584 --> 00:00:25,543
‎史帕德是一隻終極派對狗

6
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,834
‎牠會溜滑板、還加入兄弟會

7
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‎所有女生都愛牠

8
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‎等等，這是在影射這隻狗
‎和人類女性上床了嗎？

9
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‎當年標準和現在不一樣啦，丹尼爾

10
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‎抓好這根繩子

11
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‎一、二、三…

12
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‎嘿，肌肉男！幫個忙吧？

13
00:00:50,709 --> 00:00:51,834
‎幫什麼忙？

14
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:55,251
‎抓住這根繩子，你想怎樣都行

15
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‎你是幾兩重？
‎差不多187.9公分、95.7公斤？

16
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‎沒錯，那正是我的身高體重
‎妳怎麼知道？

17
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‎我阿姨的特技

18
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‎她高中的輔導老師

19
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‎總是說她應該去嘉年華擺攤賣藝

20
00:01:09,459 --> 00:01:12,459
‎丹尼爾！快上樓把這東西擼進去

21
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‎“擼管”

22
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‎我要…待在這裡

23
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‎好吧，反正我好像
‎把胸罩放在烤箱烘乾了

24
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‎你住在附近嗎？還是你沒事
‎就走來走去幫別人拉繩子？

25
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‎這樣說起來好色
‎從我嘴巴進去…我是說出來

26
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‎老天

27
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‎其實我剛搬進街角那棟公寓裡

28
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‎哇，離我住的地方好近
‎我就住這裡

29
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‎酷喔，我是傑森

30
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‎喔對，我是丹尼，尼爾，丹尼尼爾

31
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‎是丹尼尼爾還是丹尼爾？

32
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‎就是丹尼爾而已

33
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‎歡迎回家，史帕德

34
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‎其實我在這條街上的創意飲料工作

35
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‎我每季可以換一杯免費果汁

36
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‎為了感謝你
‎我想把那杯免費果汁送你

37
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‎為了說“不客氣”
‎我願意接受那杯果汁

38
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‎可惡！這個我已經有了

39
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‎我就知道它看起來很眼熟

40
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‎小心！

41
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‎可惡！

42
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‎現在這是市政府的問題了

43
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‎（瑞格利球場-芝加哥小熊隊主場）

44
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‎（博羅）

45
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‎科特，你確定要剪這髮型嗎？

46
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‎真的很短喔，我都能看到你的青筋了

47
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‎這都是我那機車上司
‎沃斯利經理的新規定

48
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‎自從我不小心

49
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‎讓一整瓶洗髮精通過安檢後
‎他就一直找我麻煩

50
00:02:36,501 --> 00:02:38,543
‎然後他還把我降職了

51
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,626
‎可惡，降去失物招領嗎？

52
00:02:41,209 --> 00:02:42,209
‎那倒還好

53
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‎是四號航廈
‎那裡可是精神航空的航廈

54
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‎那裡的乘客會帶活生生的雞過安檢

55
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‎好了，海迪還在等我
‎我得走了

56
00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:54,001
‎你和鳥小姐週末有計畫嗎？

57
00:02:54,084 --> 00:02:56,751
‎你要把食物咬碎餵到她嘴裡嗎？

58
00:02:56,834 --> 00:02:59,668
‎其實我這週末要去見她的父母

59
00:02:59,751 --> 00:03:03,418
‎不過他們是貓派的
‎所以場面可能會有點緊張

60
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‎總之，謝啦，小黛
‎跟平常一樣剪得超棒

61
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‎科特真幸福

62
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‎妳不該再替妳的前夫剪頭髮了

63
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‎那是我們之間唯一的連結了

64
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‎那妳兒子呢？

65
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‎麥奇？噢對，麥奇
‎還有讓我幫他剪頭髮

66
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,251
‎我們之間只剩下這些了

67
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‎黛安，他顯然已經往前看了
‎妳也該放下了

68
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‎我沒事啦，我是說
‎只要我的日立回來以後就沒事了

69
00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:33,168
‎-妳的日立電視？
‎-不對，是我的按摩棒

70
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‎馬達燒壞了

71
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‎史都華，很抱歉你得聽到這些話

72
00:03:39,126 --> 00:03:41,418
‎沒事，黛安很有趣

73
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‎順便一提，妳前夫的女友
‎完全比不上妳

74
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,418
‎那要看我那天吃了多少鹽

75
00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:50,251
‎我通常在六分到十分之間波動

76
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‎讚喔

77
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‎黛安，妳已經太久沒約會了

78
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‎妳甚至沒發現史都華在跟妳調情耶

79
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‎他有嗎？

80
00:04:00,709 --> 00:04:02,709
‎大家現在都太隱晦了吧！

81
00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:06,918
‎以前的男人只會說
‎“妳用好多髮膠，要來一炮嗎？”

82
00:04:07,001 --> 00:04:09,209
‎黛安現在在掙扎什麼？

83
00:04:09,293 --> 00:04:12,834
‎怎麼有禮貌？怎麼當良家婦女？
‎馬桶要怎麼沖水？

84
00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:16,459
‎我們想幫她找個男人，吉迪恩

85
00:04:16,543 --> 00:04:20,126
‎我不需要男人，我的人生很充實

86
00:04:20,209 --> 00:04:23,043
‎真的嗎？妳昨晚做什麼了？

87
00:04:23,126 --> 00:04:26,001
‎我在巷子裡找到一個啤酒招牌
‎拖著它走了14個街區

88
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‎然後在我的懶人椅上睡著了

89
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,459
‎腿上還擺著一個家庭號焗烤筆管麵

90
00:04:30,543 --> 00:04:33,709
‎好吧，也許我是該去約個會

91
00:04:33,793 --> 00:04:35,876
‎（創意果汁：開放（心胸））

92
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‎他超帥的

93
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‎而且我感覺我們之間好像很來電

94
00:04:41,209 --> 00:04:42,876
‎但我不知道他是不是同志

95
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‎只要看到他
‎我可以馬上告訴你他是不是

96
00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:49,751
‎我馬上就能看出一個人的性向和星座

97
00:04:50,959 --> 00:04:53,293
‎我的天，就是他

98
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:57,376
‎傑森！嗨，你好，歡迎光臨

99
00:04:57,459 --> 00:04:58,709
‎總之

100
00:04:58,793 --> 00:05:00,293
‎你好嗎？

101
00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:03,334
‎嘿，丹尼爾，我想來領我的免費果汁

102
00:05:03,418 --> 00:05:05,793
‎我是有些果汁可以給你

103
00:05:06,293 --> 00:05:08,084
‎天秤座，性向不明

104
00:05:08,168 --> 00:05:13,043
‎好，我要來一杯大杯的…超強綠？

105
00:05:13,126 --> 00:05:14,209
‎那好喝嗎？

106
00:05:14,293 --> 00:05:16,376
‎老實說，全都很難喝

107
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,168
‎再次謝謝你前幾天的幫忙

108
00:05:19,251 --> 00:05:22,584
‎你一定有在健身，很常健身

109
00:05:23,418 --> 00:05:24,626
‎我現在正要去健身房

110
00:05:24,709 --> 00:05:26,668
‎芝加哥強力淨，你知道那裡嗎？

111
00:05:26,751 --> 00:05:28,043
‎我知道嗎？

112
00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:31,876
‎那是我最喜歡的健身場，健身房

113
00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:32,918
‎拿去吧

114
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,168
‎謝謝

115
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:35,793
‎有機會健身房見囉

116
00:05:35,876 --> 00:05:37,543
‎當然

117
00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:44,126
‎我的天，這是什麼魯蛇大隊

118
00:05:44,209 --> 00:05:45,543
‎看看這呆子

119
00:05:45,626 --> 00:05:50,251
‎我喜歡旅行、健康飲食和運動

120
00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:51,709
‎不用了，謝謝，緝毒組

121
00:05:51,793 --> 00:05:55,501
‎妳不可以看到每個沒有刺青的男生
‎都說人家是緝毒組

122
00:05:55,584 --> 00:05:59,959
‎這個，肯特，他是耳鼻喉科醫師

123
00:06:00,043 --> 00:06:03,626
‎我看是牛羊猴醫生吧

124
00:06:03,709 --> 00:06:06,209
‎羊的醫生？妳最好有那麼幸運

125
00:06:06,293 --> 00:06:07,959
‎這些人都是怪胎

126
00:06:08,043 --> 00:06:11,376
‎我喜歡衣服都是從車展買來的男人

127
00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:15,501
‎不怕吃生牛排或是生雞肉的猛男

128
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:19,751
‎聽著，因為我想趕快了結這件事
‎我有解決方法了

129
00:06:19,834 --> 00:06:23,376
‎我下載了這個應用程式想交友
‎而我非常失望

130
00:06:23,459 --> 00:06:25,793
‎所以我覺得妳應該會喜歡

131
00:06:26,418 --> 00:06:28,459
‎“八字鬍限定網”？

132
00:06:29,334 --> 00:06:31,793
‎老天爺啊，這些人都是優質滿分男！

133
00:06:32,293 --> 00:06:33,834
‎他們看起來都一樣啊

134
00:06:33,918 --> 00:06:35,293
‎對，不太好

135
00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:38,876
‎這傢伙帥到爆炸

136
00:06:38,959 --> 00:06:40,334
‎快把連結傳給我，吉迪恩

137
00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:42,418
‎除非妳願意做一件事

138
00:06:42,501 --> 00:06:43,334
‎任何事都行

139
00:06:43,418 --> 00:06:45,543
‎做妳的工作！

140
00:06:45,626 --> 00:06:47,543
‎（芝加哥強力淨）

141
00:07:01,168 --> 00:07:03,209
‎-丹尼爾？
‎-喔，嘿，傑森

142
00:07:03,293 --> 00:07:04,543
‎我就想說是你

143
00:07:04,626 --> 00:07:05,626
‎怎麼樣？

144
00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:09,001
‎你知道的，只是來扔幾個啞鈴

145
00:07:09,084 --> 00:07:11,959
‎我還在介紹環境，你怎麼就跑了

146
00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,293
‎還有，你剛剛是把壺鈴丟出去了嗎？

147
00:07:14,376 --> 00:07:16,334
‎什麼？才沒有

148
00:07:16,418 --> 00:07:18,584
‎我會賠錢的，拜託你等我一下

149
00:07:21,501 --> 00:07:22,751
‎真是個怪胎

150
00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:24,834
‎總之，你在做什麼？

151
00:07:24,918 --> 00:07:27,418
‎今天是練腿日，你要加入嗎？

152
00:07:27,501 --> 00:07:29,376
‎你知道大家都是怎麼說練腿日的

153
00:07:29,459 --> 00:07:31,959
‎那當然了

154
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:36,001
‎加油！

155
00:07:36,501 --> 00:07:37,584
‎只做一下嗎？

156
00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:40,543
‎對，我不想練太壯，所以…

157
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,418
‎你的身材確實很精瘦

158
00:07:42,501 --> 00:07:43,584
‎是嗎？你真這麼想？

159
00:07:43,668 --> 00:07:45,668
‎嘿，你該走了

160
00:07:45,751 --> 00:07:49,418
‎好啦，戴夫林，再見囉

161
00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:51,293
‎希望能再見囉

162
00:07:51,376 --> 00:07:52,751
‎（吉恩與喬傑蒂！）

163
00:07:55,418 --> 00:07:57,126
‎再來一盤烤馬鈴薯？

164
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:59,793
‎不用了，我知道我被放鴿子了

165
00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:03,168
‎妳是想要去哪裡啊，辣妹？

166
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:05,793
‎你一定就是柏奇，你遲到了

167
00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:09,293
‎聽著，美女，我現在答應妳

168
00:08:09,376 --> 00:08:11,626
‎我大概不會再遲到了

169
00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:13,876
‎妳真是辣到冒煙

170
00:08:13,959 --> 00:08:15,918
‎我什麼也不想做

171
00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:18,709
‎就想坐在這裡
‎看妳吃一份帶骨肋眼牛排

172
00:08:18,793 --> 00:08:22,793
‎同時，如果妳願意的話
‎用我的手愛撫妳的大腿

173
00:08:23,793 --> 00:08:26,668
‎幸好我只吃了一些小菜

174
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:33,793
‎（谷歌：傑森+芝加哥+同性戀？）

175
00:08:33,876 --> 00:08:35,168
‎可惡

176
00:08:38,293 --> 00:08:39,751
‎如果你是來送酒的

177
00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:42,293
‎把我阿姨的黃金肉桂酒
‎放在門口就是了

178
00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:44,168
‎拜託！

179
00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:46,084
‎（愛的小屋汽車旅館）

180
00:08:47,751 --> 00:08:50,418
‎我的天啊，傑森，你怎麼會在這裡？

181
00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:51,709
‎我可以進去嗎？

182
00:08:51,793 --> 00:08:53,126
‎當然可以

183
00:08:54,043 --> 00:08:56,251
‎要喝點什麼嗎？

184
00:08:56,334 --> 00:09:00,168
‎我們還有…半罐番茄汁？

185
00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:01,418
‎不用了

186
00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:05,209
‎丹尼爾，你來健身房是不是因為…

187
00:09:05,293 --> 00:09:06,959
‎我不知道，你想跟我調情？

188
00:09:07,043 --> 00:09:08,418
‎什麼？才不是

189
00:09:09,251 --> 00:09:10,376
‎最好是

190
00:09:10,459 --> 00:09:13,251
‎你又不是同志，對吧？
‎你不是同性戀吧，你是同性戀嗎？

191
00:09:14,293 --> 00:09:16,209
‎我的前男友似乎都覺得我是

192
00:09:16,293 --> 00:09:19,543
‎而我國中的時候有個女友
‎也一直覺得我是同性戀

193
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:20,959
‎噢，所以你是同性戀

194
00:09:21,043 --> 00:09:24,709
‎對，而且我這禮拜五
‎想在我家煮晚餐給你吃

195
00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:26,793
‎聽起來很不錯

196
00:09:26,876 --> 00:09:27,709
‎太棒了

197
00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:31,209
‎我五點下班
‎我就在那邊上班，所以…

198
00:09:31,293 --> 00:09:32,709
‎噢，你在瑞格利球場上班？

199
00:09:32,793 --> 00:09:34,793
‎是行銷部，還是販賣部？

200
00:09:34,876 --> 00:09:36,001
‎我是新的游擊手

201
00:09:36,084 --> 00:09:39,751
‎哇，游擊手是…球員嗎？

202
00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:46,709
‎妳應該收錢讓別人看妳吃飯的

203
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:47,751
‎再來一片？

204
00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:49,709
‎不，三片是我的極限了

205
00:09:49,793 --> 00:09:51,459
‎我們換個地方吧？

206
00:09:51,543 --> 00:09:54,043
‎妳在海軍碼頭看過煙火嗎？

207
00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,376
‎大概看了500次吧

208
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:59,501
‎但妳肯定沒有
‎在我的頂層公寓裡看過煙火

209
00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:01,668
‎好呀！

210
00:10:05,084 --> 00:10:07,793
‎-對！
‎-那爽得值得寫入歷史

211
00:10:08,584 --> 00:10:11,209
‎-來根寶馬？
‎-維珍妮涼菸？

212
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:16,084
‎真好笑

213
00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:19,918
‎老實說，我已經好幾年

214
00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:22,084
‎沒有和陌生男人上床了

215
00:10:22,168 --> 00:10:25,043
‎順便一提，最後一次
‎是凱西與陽光合唱團的凱西

216
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:27,293
‎我叫沃斯利

217
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,334
‎沃斯利，聽起來很耳熟

218
00:10:30,418 --> 00:10:31,501
‎你在哪裡工作？

219
00:10:31,584 --> 00:10:33,668
‎我是中途機場的運輸安全局局長

220
00:10:33,751 --> 00:10:36,376
‎我基本上就是那邊的市長

221
00:10:37,126 --> 00:10:38,376
‎該死

222
00:10:39,668 --> 00:10:41,418
‎這傢伙真是太讚了

223
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,334
‎但如果我告訴科特
‎我在跟他的上司交往

224
00:10:43,418 --> 00:10:46,084
‎他一定會第六次心臟病發的

225
00:10:46,168 --> 00:10:48,918
‎第六次？你們這些人有什麼毛病？

226
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:50,334
‎別再吃豬肉了！

227
00:10:50,418 --> 00:10:53,001
‎拜託，我真的很痛苦

228
00:10:53,084 --> 00:10:54,126
‎我該怎麼做？

229
00:10:54,209 --> 00:10:55,376
‎聽我說，黛安

230
00:10:55,459 --> 00:10:58,834
‎科特之前才坐在這邊
‎告訴你他跟他女友發展得有多認真

231
00:10:58,918 --> 00:11:01,584
‎如果妳喜歡這個人，妳就應該試試看

232
00:11:02,668 --> 00:11:03,668
‎有道理

233
00:11:03,751 --> 00:11:08,584
‎我的第一任丈夫因為火雞瘟疫過世後
‎我就嫁給他在火雞農場的上司了

234
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,709
‎說得好，小蘇
‎我要跟科特攤牌

235
00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:14,001
‎他是大人了，他會沒事的

236
00:11:14,584 --> 00:11:16,126
‎妳怎麼可以這樣對我？

237
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,043
‎科特，放輕鬆，這又不是世界末日？

238
00:11:19,126 --> 00:11:20,543
‎不，這比世界末日更糟

239
00:11:20,626 --> 00:11:23,168
‎這是終極背叛

240
00:11:23,251 --> 00:11:24,959
‎我禁止妳跟他交往！

241
00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:26,918
‎你不能禁止我做任何事

242
00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:30,043
‎我是擁有19歲少女身體的成年女子

243
00:11:30,126 --> 00:11:31,751
‎我想做什麼就做什麼

244
00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:34,626
‎而我就想跟這個男的用力交往一番

245
00:11:35,376 --> 00:11:36,418
‎嗨，親愛的

246
00:11:42,584 --> 00:11:43,668
‎（四星樂）

247
00:11:51,334 --> 00:11:52,876
‎（托盤回收處）

248
00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,001
‎（辣翻天）

249
00:11:56,084 --> 00:11:57,459
‎（僅限員工出入
‎禁止進入）

250
00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:22,126
‎好吃，這很棒耶

251
00:12:23,334 --> 00:12:24,668
‎你的演技也很棒

252
00:12:24,751 --> 00:12:26,043
‎別太自責

253
00:12:26,126 --> 00:12:29,126
‎我阿姨有時候還會用暖器煮飯呢

254
00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:31,918
‎要不要我們出去吃點東西？

255
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:36,709
‎或者我們也可以叫披薩外送
‎然後邊等邊親熱

256
00:12:43,251 --> 00:12:45,543
‎那裡別剪太短，紅髮大塊頭

257
00:12:45,626 --> 00:12:47,959
‎把耳朵毛也修一修吧

258
00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:49,793
‎妳聽到他說的了，蘇珊

259
00:12:49,876 --> 00:12:52,709
‎我的小柏就喜歡把耳朵
‎修得像寶寶的屁股一樣光溜溜的

260
00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:56,709
‎這是妳的小費

261
00:12:57,501 --> 00:12:58,459
‎這是什麼？

262
00:12:58,543 --> 00:12:59,918
‎這是刮刮樂

263
00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:02,084
‎最大獎500塊喔

264
00:13:02,168 --> 00:13:03,459
‎比現金還好

265
00:13:03,543 --> 00:13:05,043
‎笑一個吧？

266
00:13:05,126 --> 00:13:06,709
‎這些超棒的

267
00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:10,501
‎只要能連續刮出四疊鈔票就中獎

268
00:13:10,584 --> 00:13:11,709
‎妳沒中獎

269
00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:14,334
‎祝妳下次好運，親愛的

270
00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,543
‎我們今晚見了，寶貝

271
00:13:18,626 --> 00:13:20,293
‎他是不是很猛？

272
00:13:20,376 --> 00:13:22,168
‎某種層面來說是蠻猛的啦

273
00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:24,376
‎嘿！別給我那種態度，蘇珊！

274
00:13:28,501 --> 00:13:31,459
‎我覺得這張沙發上
‎已經有我們身體的印子了

275
00:13:31,543 --> 00:13:33,459
‎也許我們該去散個步之類的

276
00:13:33,543 --> 00:13:36,251
‎但如果我們去散步
‎我就不能從後面抱著你了

277
00:13:36,334 --> 00:13:39,709
‎我的天，蘿蘋下個禮拜
‎要來瑞格利球場辦演唱會

278
00:13:39,793 --> 00:13:41,001
‎我們一定得去

279
00:13:41,084 --> 00:13:42,918
‎這個嘛…我不知道耶

280
00:13:43,709 --> 00:13:46,876
‎我們前幾天才在這裡邊聽她的歌
‎邊跳了兩小時的舞耶

281
00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:49,501
‎我不喜歡大運動場

282
00:13:49,584 --> 00:13:51,459
‎你是棒球選手耶！

283
00:13:51,543 --> 00:13:53,668
‎是，但這不一樣，好嗎？

284
00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:56,251
‎來吧，我們來看點Netflix吧

285
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:57,834
‎有個節目叫《沉默的愛》

286
00:13:57,918 --> 00:14:00,584
‎裡面的人要一起去約會
‎但都不能講話

287
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:02,918
‎歡迎來到《沉默的愛》

288
00:14:03,001 --> 00:14:07,334
‎艾力克斯和布蘭妮這對情侶
‎今天要前往河畔社區圖書館

289
00:14:09,584 --> 00:14:13,126
‎週二晚上在第二航廈
‎有個新藝術展覽要開幕

290
00:14:13,209 --> 00:14:15,626
‎是一群小孩用手畫畫之類的

291
00:14:15,709 --> 00:14:19,293
‎他們請我去致詞，我想邀請妳一起去

292
00:14:19,376 --> 00:14:22,626
‎我才不會錯過狂喝長島冰茶的機會

293
00:14:22,709 --> 00:14:25,626
‎黛安，幫我一個忙
‎去挑個紀念品吧

294
00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:29,084
‎不知道他們還有沒有賣
‎戴利市長的娃娃

295
00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:32,126
‎為什麼要讓我一直來檢查？
‎快把它處理好

296
00:14:32,209 --> 00:14:33,376
‎沃斯利先生，我…

297
00:14:33,459 --> 00:14:35,918
‎-這是最後一次警告了
‎-我很努力了

298
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,001
‎記住我說過的話

299
00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:39,668
‎好啦

300
00:14:39,751 --> 00:14:40,584
‎走吧

301
00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:42,584
‎一切都還好嗎？

302
00:14:42,668 --> 00:14:44,584
‎沒事，那傢伙就是個麻煩精

303
00:14:44,668 --> 00:14:46,834
‎來，這個給妳

304
00:14:47,501 --> 00:14:49,001
‎我知道有些女生

305
00:14:49,084 --> 00:14:51,584
‎如果看到她男友

306
00:14:51,668 --> 00:14:54,668
‎把剛剛拿來打人的花生巧克力
‎拿來送她會抓狂

307
00:14:54,751 --> 00:14:58,126
‎但我得老實說，這讓我更有性致

308
00:14:58,668 --> 00:14:59,834
‎而且我餓了

309
00:15:02,584 --> 00:15:06,168
‎傑森，小熊隊球迷
‎很期待看到你來到芝加哥

310
00:15:06,251 --> 00:15:08,793
‎第一個問題，薄脆還是深盤披薩？

311
00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:10,876
‎我會選薄脆

312
00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:12,043
‎卡！

313
00:15:12,126 --> 00:15:13,959
‎你得說“深盤”

314
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,418
‎嘿，我來見見新的菜鳥

315
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,709
‎嘿，兄弟，你好嗎？

316
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:22,334
‎我很好，兄弟，你呢？

317
00:15:22,418 --> 00:15:24,293
‎我們晚點見，好嗎？

318
00:15:24,376 --> 00:15:26,709
‎對，好，可以

319
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:29,001
‎好，再來一次，記得，你要說“深盤”

320
00:15:29,084 --> 00:15:29,918
‎好

321
00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:32,668
‎可以再補點粉嗎？他太閃亮了

322
00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:37,709
‎聽說打炮以後要拉屎才不會尿道感染

323
00:15:37,793 --> 00:15:39,001
‎妳是說尿尿嗎？

324
00:15:39,084 --> 00:15:41,209
‎為了保險，我會兩個一起來

325
00:15:44,084 --> 00:15:45,959
‎哇靠！

326
00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:50,168
‎看來妳有點迷路了

327
00:15:50,251 --> 00:15:52,751
‎柏奇！這些是刮刮樂嗎？

328
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:54,459
‎這是我的副業

329
00:15:54,543 --> 00:15:56,209
‎我從國外進貨

330
00:15:56,293 --> 00:15:58,918
‎再用折扣價賣給商家

331
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:02,043
‎別光站在那裡，給我個硬幣

332
00:16:02,126 --> 00:16:03,543
‎我們趕快來刮吧

333
00:16:03,626 --> 00:16:06,501
‎不，黛安，這些都不會中獎

334
00:16:06,584 --> 00:16:07,709
‎這才是重點

335
00:16:08,293 --> 00:16:11,251
‎真的嗎？我不知道耶，柏奇

336
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:13,626
‎自從那些安麗的瘋子
‎把我的車炸掉以後

337
00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:16,084
‎我就不想再跟詐騙扯上關係了

338
00:16:16,626 --> 00:16:18,876
‎放心啦，這種犯罪又沒有受害者

339
00:16:19,376 --> 00:16:21,543
‎柏奇，我覺得這樣不太老實吧

340
00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:25,376
‎我本來想要晚點說的，但是…管他的

341
00:16:26,876 --> 00:16:30,751
‎黛安，我想讓妳永遠成為我的愛人

342
00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:32,334
‎搬來跟我住吧

343
00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:35,959
‎永遠熊鑽石永恆墜飾

344
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:37,293
‎你去過傑瑞珠寶店了

345
00:16:37,376 --> 00:16:38,251
‎沒錯

346
00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:40,376
‎我去找了傑瑞巴高斯基

347
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:43,418
‎芝加哥熊隊的非官方珠寶商

348
00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:45,209
‎黛安，妳覺得呢？

349
00:16:45,293 --> 00:16:48,918
‎我願意！我一千個願意！

350
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:53,459
‎妳一定不知道可以把蛋
‎換成再加一份火腿排吧

351
00:16:53,543 --> 00:16:55,834
‎妳什麼時候要搬過來？

352
00:16:55,918 --> 00:16:57,793
‎是這樣的，柏奇

353
00:16:57,876 --> 00:17:00,293
‎我在擔心我的外甥丹尼爾

354
00:17:00,376 --> 00:17:02,584
‎我不確定自己能不能離開他

355
00:17:02,668 --> 00:17:03,501
‎誰管他？

356
00:17:03,584 --> 00:17:04,918
‎不好意思？

357
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:06,626
‎我不是那個意思

358
00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:10,834
‎我只是想說妳不要再擔心別人
‎人生會過得更開心

359
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:13,001
‎而且他就是個孩子，他會沒事的

360
00:17:13,084 --> 00:17:15,126
‎妳得優先為自己著想

361
00:17:15,209 --> 00:17:16,626
‎妳值得的

362
00:17:16,709 --> 00:17:17,959
‎還需要什麼嗎？

363
00:17:18,043 --> 00:17:19,459
‎不用了，謝謝

364
00:17:19,543 --> 00:17:21,334
‎這是給妳的

365
00:17:22,168 --> 00:17:23,876
‎哇，刮刮樂？

366
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,709
‎也許我這個月付得出房租了

367
00:17:26,668 --> 00:17:29,251
‎言歸正傳，我知道你還得去工作

368
00:17:29,334 --> 00:17:30,709
‎我要去跟麥奇打個招呼

369
00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:32,043
‎誰是麥奇？

370
00:17:32,126 --> 00:17:34,251
‎放輕鬆！他是我兒子，記得嗎？

371
00:17:34,334 --> 00:17:35,834
‎喔對，好吧

372
00:17:35,918 --> 00:17:37,751
‎今晚開幕式見

373
00:17:37,834 --> 00:17:38,834
‎穿性感一點喔

374
00:17:45,626 --> 00:17:47,293
‎我的寶貝兒子

375
00:17:47,376 --> 00:17:48,376
‎媽！

376
00:17:48,459 --> 00:17:51,918
‎嘿，麥奇！你爸還好嗎？

377
00:17:52,001 --> 00:17:53,251
‎不好

378
00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:55,834
‎他昨天晚上邊哭邊睡著了

379
00:17:55,918 --> 00:17:59,334
‎那可能是因為我最近在跟他上司交往

380
00:17:59,418 --> 00:18:02,584
‎對，那就是他大吼大叫的原因

381
00:18:03,251 --> 00:18:05,626
‎那你覺得怎麼樣？

382
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:10,084
‎妳知道我愛妳
‎我希望妳跟好人在一起

383
00:18:10,168 --> 00:18:12,876
‎嘿，呆瓜，我是沃斯利局長

384
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,876
‎說曹操，曹操到

385
00:18:14,959 --> 00:18:17,126
‎-是的，長官
‎-聽好了，呆子

386
00:18:17,209 --> 00:18:19,168
‎車臣來的貨是你處理的嗎？

387
00:18:19,251 --> 00:18:22,918
‎是的，長官，大概20分鐘前
‎我把貨物運到六號停機棚了

388
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:25,168
‎那些東西要直接送到我的辦公室

389
00:18:25,251 --> 00:18:26,168
‎清醒一點，笨蛋！

390
00:18:26,251 --> 00:18:28,418
‎抱歉，長官

391
00:18:28,501 --> 00:18:29,959
‎妳想跟他打個招呼嗎？

392
00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:32,668
‎我晚點再跟他聊吧，愛你

393
00:18:32,751 --> 00:18:35,001
‎趕快搞定，你腦袋是裝屎嗎！

394
00:18:39,459 --> 00:18:40,793
‎我得跟你談談

395
00:18:40,876 --> 00:18:42,418
‎昨天是怎樣？

396
00:18:42,501 --> 00:18:44,084
‎你昨天完全在打發我

397
00:18:44,168 --> 00:18:47,709
‎對不起，我那時候很忙
‎那個記者真的把我逼得很緊

398
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,584
‎傑森，你沒出櫃嗎？

399
00:18:50,668 --> 00:18:52,668
‎什麼？我已經出櫃好幾年了！

400
00:18:52,751 --> 00:18:55,043
‎我不希望公開關係會帶來的壓力

401
00:18:55,126 --> 00:18:57,751
‎我希望大家講到我時
‎說的是我的棒球技術

402
00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:59,043
‎而不是我在和誰約會

403
00:18:59,126 --> 00:19:01,959
‎我想跟一個可以牽手的人交往

404
00:19:02,043 --> 00:19:04,584
‎不是只有在家
‎看《柏捷頓家族》的時候牽手

405
00:19:04,668 --> 00:19:07,793
‎而是在外面，在《柏捷頓家族》
‎放映派對之類的地方牽手

406
00:19:08,543 --> 00:19:11,501
‎丹尼爾，我上一段感情
‎就是因為這樣結束的

407
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,876
‎因為受到太多關注

408
00:19:12,959 --> 00:19:15,543
‎我那時候還只是在小聯盟而已
‎現在我在芝加哥小熊隊

409
00:19:15,626 --> 00:19:18,543
‎對不起，我只想保持現在的樣子

410
00:19:18,626 --> 00:19:21,001
‎而我不想當別人見不得光的秘密

411
00:19:21,084 --> 00:19:23,793
‎好吧，我很遺憾你沒辦法接受

412
00:19:23,876 --> 00:19:26,793
‎我接受得很好
‎你才是有問題的那個人

413
00:19:26,876 --> 00:19:27,876
‎再見

414
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,668
‎我們同一個方向，是吧？

415
00:19:31,751 --> 00:19:33,918
‎我可以先走嗎？我練習要遲到了

416
00:19:34,001 --> 00:19:35,001
‎好啦！

417
00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:38,751
‎我跟你說過我兩個膝蓋都是假的

418
00:19:38,834 --> 00:19:42,543
‎女士，即使如此
‎我還是等檢查妳身上有沒有武器

419
00:19:43,418 --> 00:19:45,251
‎-該死的雞！
‎-科特

420
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,209
‎妳在這裡做什麼？

421
00:19:47,293 --> 00:19:49,209
‎要告訴我妳要搭便車嗎？

422
00:19:49,293 --> 00:19:52,876
‎不是，不過柏奇問我要不要搬過去

423
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,751
‎天啊，不

424
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:56,834
‎我要把餅乾吐出來了

425
00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:02,209
‎你沒在騙，真的都是餅乾

426
00:20:02,293 --> 00:20:03,668
‎這都是妳害的，黛安！

427
00:20:03,751 --> 00:20:06,959
‎科特，聽著，我需要你的幫忙

428
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:14,751
‎她雖然看起來像隻斑馬
‎但相信我，她完全是個肉食女

429
00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:18,459
‎他在車裡明明說他喜歡這件洋裝的

430
00:20:18,543 --> 00:20:21,793
‎寶貝，當個好女孩
‎幫我再拿一杯威士忌可樂

431
00:20:21,876 --> 00:20:23,168
‎可樂少一點

432
00:20:24,876 --> 00:20:25,751
‎黛安！

433
00:20:26,376 --> 00:20:28,418
‎史都華！你怎麼在這裡？

434
00:20:28,501 --> 00:20:32,209
‎我和手繪計畫有不少合作
‎他們是個很棒的機構

435
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:33,876
‎她的酒水算我的

436
00:20:34,584 --> 00:20:35,584
‎謝謝你

437
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,501
‎我的榮幸

438
00:20:37,543 --> 00:20:40,084
‎對了，妳的洋裝很美

439
00:20:56,084 --> 00:20:58,584
‎丹尼爾！

440
00:21:02,334 --> 00:21:03,959
‎對不起，我不是故意打破的

441
00:21:04,043 --> 00:21:07,043
‎你到底在做什麼？
‎我還以為你怕高

442
00:21:07,126 --> 00:21:08,209
‎我怕死了

443
00:21:08,293 --> 00:21:10,084
‎我給你帶了個東西

444
00:21:11,376 --> 00:21:13,084
‎蘿蘋在瑞格利的演唱會門票

445
00:21:13,834 --> 00:21:17,918
‎丹尼爾，我不想因為我的陰影
‎而放棄我們的感情

446
00:21:18,001 --> 00:21:20,584
‎我喜歡你，我不在乎有誰會知道

447
00:21:20,668 --> 00:21:22,543
‎大家！聽我說！

448
00:21:22,626 --> 00:21:25,459
‎我喜歡這個男生，而我搞砸了

449
00:21:25,543 --> 00:21:27,501
‎我希望他能再給我一次機會

450
00:21:27,584 --> 00:21:28,709
‎再給他一次機會吧！

451
00:21:28,793 --> 00:21:30,334
‎塔可鐘快餐店在哪？

452
00:21:30,418 --> 00:21:31,543
‎被拆掉了

453
00:21:31,626 --> 00:21:33,709
‎你願意復合嗎，丹尼爾？

454
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,251
‎我不知道

455
00:21:35,334 --> 00:21:37,043
‎拜託趕快回答，我才可以下去

456
00:21:37,126 --> 00:21:40,209
‎好

457
00:21:46,501 --> 00:21:48,084
‎史帕德幫我緩衝了

458
00:21:48,168 --> 00:21:50,876
‎謝謝你，史帕德

459
00:21:50,959 --> 00:21:54,834
‎當這些勇敢的孩子用手印畫畫一次

460
00:21:54,918 --> 00:22:00,043
‎他們就離他們的…計畫
‎又更進一步，大概吧

461
00:22:00,126 --> 00:22:02,751
‎總而言之，歡迎我們來到二號航廈

462
00:22:02,834 --> 00:22:05,751
‎讓我們請中途國際機場的市長
‎柏奇沃斯利說幾句話

463
00:22:08,334 --> 00:22:09,251
‎妳在做什麼？

464
00:22:09,334 --> 00:22:10,959
‎我很快就結束，寶貝

465
00:22:11,459 --> 00:22:12,876
‎抱歉，副州長

466
00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:16,918
‎但我想簡單替柏奇沃斯利說幾句話

467
00:22:18,334 --> 00:22:22,501
‎我們只交往了幾週
‎但他已經把我迷得暈頭轉向了

468
00:22:22,584 --> 00:22:25,751
‎他在床上有多猛我就不說了

469
00:22:25,834 --> 00:22:26,668
‎真是頭猛獸！

470
00:22:27,959 --> 00:22:30,168
‎而且他超級慷慨

471
00:22:30,251 --> 00:22:33,251
‎他都用這些刮刮樂付小費

472
00:22:33,334 --> 00:22:35,334
‎我就愛看他給別人帶來快樂

473
00:22:35,418 --> 00:22:37,709
‎讓大家有中大獎的機會

474
00:22:37,793 --> 00:22:39,626
‎但後來我發現一件事

475
00:22:39,709 --> 00:22:42,959
‎柏奇沃斯利就像這些刮刮樂一樣

476
00:22:43,043 --> 00:22:44,751
‎他是個大騙子

477
00:22:44,834 --> 00:22:46,709
‎好了，寶貝，夠了

478
00:22:46,793 --> 00:22:49,959
‎我說了，“大騙子”！

479
00:22:50,043 --> 00:22:52,293
‎老天，科特，該你出場了

480
00:22:54,293 --> 00:22:55,376
‎該死！

481
00:22:55,459 --> 00:22:58,793
‎拿去刮吧，裡面一定沒有
‎會中獎的獎券！

482
00:22:59,626 --> 00:23:04,334
‎柏奇沃斯利
‎我以偽造州立樂透彩券的名義逮捕你

483
00:23:04,418 --> 00:23:06,584
‎你沒資格說那句話

484
00:23:06,668 --> 00:23:11,001
‎柏奇沃斯利
‎我以偽造州立樂透彩券的名義逮捕你

485
00:23:11,084 --> 00:23:12,501
‎你們是在哪裡找到這些東西的？

486
00:23:12,584 --> 00:23:14,334
‎-五號停機棚
‎-六號停機棚

487
00:23:14,418 --> 00:23:15,918
‎六號停機棚

488
00:23:16,001 --> 00:23:17,043
‎混帳

489
00:23:17,126 --> 00:23:19,584
‎妳陰我

490
00:23:19,668 --> 00:23:22,459
‎彼此彼此

491
00:23:22,543 --> 00:23:24,126
‎謝謝妳的幫忙，小黛

492
00:23:24,209 --> 00:23:27,084
‎立下這麼大的功勞
‎鐵定能讓我離開那個鳥位置

493
00:23:27,168 --> 00:23:30,626
‎我只有聽到“這麼大”跟“鳥”

494
00:23:37,043 --> 00:23:40,459
‎別收那麼快，領結男
‎繼續倒酒

495
00:23:40,959 --> 00:23:43,251
‎我很遺憾妳和柏奇分手了

496
00:23:43,334 --> 00:23:47,084
‎沒事，天涯何處無猛男

497
00:23:47,168 --> 00:23:50,584
‎如果妳想給好男人一個機會
‎妳知道要去哪找我

498
00:24:33,126 --> 00:24:38,126
‎字幕翻譯：齊姵雲