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‎NETFLIX 影集

2
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‎119緊急狀況！

3
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‎給我你的手機，沒時間了！

4
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‎北韓發射飛彈到芝加哥了嗎？

5
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‎不是，比那更糟！
‎電臺把我的兩支號碼都封鎖了

6
00:00:21,168 --> 00:00:23,126
‎可是我想要點歌！

7
00:00:23,209 --> 00:00:24,459
‎可惡，他們叫我稍等！

8
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‎歡迎回到丹克舍曼和法格
‎在雷格電台的節目《雷格》！

9
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‎來接下一通電話
‎怎樣？妳叩應到雷格囉！

10
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‎我接通了！

11
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‎嗨，我想點一首猜猜我是誰合唱團的
‎〈美國女人〉

12
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‎我不要藍尼克羅維茲的破爛版本

13
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‎那個演戲的藍尼克羅維茲嗎？

14
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‎小姐，我們今天早上唯一會播的
‎就是胸部疊疊樂比賽

15
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‎我們現場有兩個以前
‎在貓頭鷹波霸餐廳工作的美眉

16
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‎現在她們只是地方媽媽

17
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‎我們要看看她們可以在胸部上
‎放多少疊疊樂積木

18
00:00:53,168 --> 00:00:55,376
‎除非妳覺得自己能打敗她們…

19
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‎她出發了

20
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‎（雷格電台）

21
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‎別害羞，法格
‎我的奶子可是應付過比那更大的玩意

22
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‎最後一塊也疊上去了

23
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‎黛安鄧布羅斯基
‎是我們胸部疊疊樂的冠軍！

24
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‎哇，那對奶子還真不是蓋的

25
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‎沒錯，這是食品藥物管理局
‎在1990年代做的實驗

26
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‎我算是他們隆胸手術的實驗天竺鼠

27
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‎小心說話！我們是義裔美國鼠才對！

28
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‎媽媽咪呀！

29
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‎法格太經典了！

30
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‎獎品是…免費乳房攝影一次

31
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‎由雷格電台的乳癌關懷週贊助

32
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‎接下來，我們要替A片女星
‎找到她的生父

33
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‎只要她能說出全美50州的名字

34
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‎我要留下來看

35
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‎（瑞格利球場-芝加哥小熊隊主場）

36
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‎（博羅）

37
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‎然後她居然說拉斯維加斯是一個州

38
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‎然後他們就播了《萊恩和史丁比》
‎裡面大喊“你這白癡！”的片段

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‎超經典！

40
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‎那節目怎麼還在播？

41
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‎他們超貶低女性的

42
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‎誰現在還在聽廣播？

43
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‎播客才是主流，寶貝！

44
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‎說到這個，請訂閱我的頻道

45
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‎我一直叫妳們訂閱

46
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‎黛安，妳得去做那個乳房攝影

47
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‎那個檢查超貴的

48
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‎而且我們公司的保險不給付

49
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‎我們有醫療保險？

50
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‎有，是灰十字保險公司

51
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‎他們爛死了！
‎他們的廣告標語是“走一走就沒事了”

52
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‎大家好！

53
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‎我剛剛跟治療師有了重大突破

54
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‎她說我可能是對毒性人格過敏

55
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‎吉迪恩，我們得談談！

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‎她說得對！

57
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‎我們的醫療保險為什麼那麼廉價？

58
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‎我以為你會想投保給付範圍大的
‎畢竟你年紀也大了

59
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‎妳比我還老耶！

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‎他才不在乎，他保的是管理階層方案

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‎所以他才能去看治療師

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‎等等，那是怎樣？

63
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‎黛安，公司的政策就是
‎所有非管理階層員工

64
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‎都只能使用普通方案

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‎這也合理，畢竟妳就是無聊的普妹

66
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‎恕我失陪，我要去吃顆過敏藥了

67
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‎就跟妳說了，黛安
‎有醫療資源可用就要盡量利用

68
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‎我聽說有隆乳過的人
‎就不用做乳房攝影啊

69
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‎妳不要再相信
‎飲料杯上的醫療建議了！

70
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‎（創意飲料）

71
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‎丹尼爾，該來場冒險囉！

72
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‎請不要再把清理捕鼠器叫做冒險了

73
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‎今天沒有老鼠

74
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‎創意飲料要展開一項新企劃
‎我們要教育小朋友

75
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‎比起加工甜品
‎果汁是更健康的替代品

76
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‎一瓶覆盆莓炸彈的含糖量
‎比十條士力架巧克力還多耶

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‎那都是天然的糖，丹尼爾！

78
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‎公司指定每間分店
‎要負責市内一個學區

79
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‎在學童體育活動期間發放免費試喝

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‎我要指定你做我的果汁車助手

81
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‎聽起來挺酷的！

82
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‎你的駕照沒過期吧？

83
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‎沒有，但我爸媽從不讓我
‎在城市裡開車…應該說就不讓我開車

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‎他們覺得我會太焦慮

85
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‎我的駕照因為我年少輕狂的日子
‎被吊銷了

86
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‎這麼說吧，開車容易生氣的人
‎不適合同時喝酒…

87
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‎還嗑古柯鹼和吩坦尼止痛藥

88
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‎你知道嗎？我去

89
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‎我也該面對我的焦慮了…
‎老天，有人按喇叭！

90
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‎妳在看我分享給妳的
‎休傑克曼裸上身的照片嗎？

91
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‎帥爆了，對吧？

92
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‎不是，我在跟佩洛醫生確認預約時間

93
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‎噢對，最終檢查結果

94
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‎這不是最終結果

95
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‎就算我不能自己生小孩
‎我們還是有其他選項

96
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‎我們可以找代理孕母…

97
00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:33,793
‎我有點擔心那個

98
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‎我在雜誌上看到說代理孕母很貴

99
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‎而且我不知道自己能不能
‎跟其他女人打火包

100
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‎馬克，代理孕母不是那個意思

101
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‎我們還不需要討論這件事

102
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‎妳一直有在好好照顧自己

103
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‎容我這麼說，效果很顯著

104
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‎那個子宮準備好要綻放了

105
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‎馬克，我的基礎體溫上升了

106
00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:59,251
‎何不讓我量量看呢…用我的陰莖？

107
00:04:59,751 --> 00:05:02,668
‎好，但我五分鐘後要開讀書會

108
00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:05,418
‎看來有人想來兩發喔

109
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‎（納迪爾緊急照護診所）

110
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‎還要等多久？感染已經從我的眼睛
‎擴散到手臂了

111
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‎我之前有打來預約免費乳房攝影？

112
00:05:16,043 --> 00:05:18,959
‎請坐，把這份表格填好
‎我們待會會叫妳

113
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‎太好了！對了，謝謝妳把我“擠”進去

114
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‎我…我去坐下

115
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‎什麼，妳也是醫生？

116
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‎我是醫師助理

117
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‎抱歉，我們人手嚴重不足

118
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‎我要把咪咪塞進那裡面嗎？

119
00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:43,418
‎我的假奶會被擠爆嗎？

120
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:46,126
‎妳的不會，妳的非常紮實

121
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‎多謝稱讚

122
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‎接下來我會把鉗子放下來
‎妳可能會感受到一些壓迫感

123
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:56,376
‎好，這還好啊！

124
00:05:56,459 --> 00:05:58,918
‎看在史丹米基塔的鬼魂的份上！

125
00:06:00,543 --> 00:06:03,209
‎我都不知道可以這麼大力擠我的奶子

126
00:06:03,293 --> 00:06:06,459
‎虧我還跟巨人安德烈上到二壘過

127
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‎我過幾天會再打給妳
‎告訴妳檢查結果

128
00:06:09,084 --> 00:06:10,918
‎我還以為他們…

129
00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:12,626
‎會發明…

130
00:06:12,709 --> 00:06:14,043
‎比這擠奶機更好的…

131
00:06:14,126 --> 00:06:15,918
‎檢查方式…

132
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,918
‎等一下，那是我的口香糖

133
00:06:20,501 --> 00:06:23,418
‎好，你可以的，不過是開車而已

134
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‎準備好發送喜悅的果汁了嗎？

135
00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:30,001
‎哇，你長了很薄的八字鬍

136
00:06:30,084 --> 00:06:32,668
‎我要藉由重新栽種嘴唇上的森林

137
00:06:32,751 --> 00:06:35,876
‎提高大家對於亞馬遜森林濫伐的意識

138
00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:42,043
‎好了，丹尼爾，我就是你攀登
‎開車恐懼症這座高峰的雪巴嚮導

139
00:06:42,126 --> 00:06:44,168
‎你就…輕輕滑進車流

140
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‎好…

141
00:06:46,626 --> 00:06:47,668
‎喂，小心點！

142
00:06:47,751 --> 00:06:50,043
‎去你的，你這坨沒用的臭屎！

143
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,751
‎抱歉，丹尼爾
‎以前的壞習慣很難改掉

144
00:06:54,293 --> 00:06:55,376
‎再來一個…

145
00:06:55,459 --> 00:06:57,376
‎-厲害喔，姐妹！
‎-這真的很了不起！

146
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,959
‎真是個不錯的小把戲

147
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:02,543
‎蘇珊，幫我開擴音
‎我就要打破個人紀錄了

148
00:07:02,626 --> 00:07:03,459
‎好

149
00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:04,751
‎我是黛安！

150
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:07,043
‎黛安妳好，我是納迪爾診所的凱西

151
00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,543
‎我拿到妳的乳房攝影報告了

152
00:07:08,626 --> 00:07:12,876
‎我猜猜，我確診了豐滿波霸症？

153
00:07:13,709 --> 00:07:16,209
‎妳在診所這麼說的時候也很好笑

154
00:07:16,293 --> 00:07:19,876
‎我們在妳的左胸上部發現了一個硬塊

155
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,251
‎那是什麼意思？

156
00:07:23,334 --> 00:07:26,168
‎通常是沒什麼事，但假如它有事

157
00:07:26,251 --> 00:07:27,959
‎那就不會是什麼好事

158
00:07:28,043 --> 00:07:30,168
‎所以我想請妳來照一次超音波

159
00:07:30,251 --> 00:07:31,584
‎媽呀！

160
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,876
‎讓我看看妳的保險資格
‎妳的身份證號碼是？

161
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:37,668
‎等一下，在哪裡呢？等等喔

162
00:07:38,168 --> 00:07:40,293
‎好了…有了

163
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:43,793
‎469，讚，73569，爽喔

164
00:07:43,876 --> 00:07:45,834
‎3420，嗨爆了，5

165
00:07:46,876 --> 00:07:49,084
‎好，看來妳的保險不給付超音波檢查

166
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:51,376
‎妳得自費

167
00:07:51,459 --> 00:07:54,168
‎這項檢查通常需要三千塊

168
00:07:54,251 --> 00:07:55,918
‎我沒有那麼多錢

169
00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:57,709
‎妳可以試試看募資平台

170
00:07:58,584 --> 00:08:01,376
‎募資？募妳的大頭啦！

171
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:05,084
‎我總是以為

172
00:08:05,168 --> 00:08:07,876
‎我會在和約翰跟瓊安庫薩克
‎玩三人行時突然翹辮子

173
00:08:07,959 --> 00:08:09,293
‎他們是姐弟耶

174
00:08:09,376 --> 00:08:10,543
‎對，但我不是啊！

175
00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:14,084
‎那只是個硬塊，黛安
‎又不是判妳死刑，妳會沒事的

176
00:08:14,168 --> 00:08:16,543
‎我從來沒碰過這種事

177
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:17,959
‎太可怕了

178
00:08:18,043 --> 00:08:22,168
‎黛安，記得芝加哥熊隊輸掉
‎第41屆超級盃時我說了什麼嗎？

179
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,918
‎培頓曼寧長得像根大拇指
‎但我還是想跟他上床？

180
00:08:25,001 --> 00:08:26,876
‎不對，那是妳說的

181
00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:31,043
‎我說妳很堅強，妳能撐過任何事

182
00:08:31,126 --> 00:08:33,293
‎妳可以的，因為妳有我們在

183
00:08:33,793 --> 00:08:35,001
‎謝謝妳們

184
00:08:35,084 --> 00:08:38,626
‎這很棒耶！我們從來沒有
‎一起坐在沙發上講八卦過

185
00:08:38,709 --> 00:08:40,209
‎姐妹，現在不適合說這個

186
00:08:41,043 --> 00:08:41,959
‎（醫療旅遊）

187
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,168
‎（阿布達比割盲腸
‎只要99阿聯酋迪拉姆）

188
00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:45,459
‎這還蠻便宜的

189
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,168
‎嘿，你還好嗎？

190
00:08:47,251 --> 00:08:48,376
‎我討厭開車！

191
00:08:48,459 --> 00:08:51,251
‎羽哥今天叫一輛救護車去死！

192
00:08:51,334 --> 00:08:54,834
‎丹尼爾，開車很簡單的
‎記得《玩命關頭》教了我們什麼？

193
00:08:54,918 --> 00:08:57,626
‎道奇戰馬跑得比直升機快？

194
00:08:57,709 --> 00:09:01,876
‎沒錯，還有要攻擊性駕駛
‎這樣才能搞定工作

195
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,626
‎說到工作

196
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,001
‎你公司的健康保險好嗎？

197
00:09:06,084 --> 00:09:06,918
‎爛透了

198
00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:10,959
‎創意飲料只保水晶等級的保險
‎所以我保險還是用我爸媽的

199
00:09:11,043 --> 00:09:14,334
‎媽呀，這也太重，這是真金嗎？

200
00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:16,334
‎不是，只是鍍金而已

201
00:09:16,418 --> 00:09:19,501
‎等等，妳為什麼在問保險的事？
‎妳還好嗎？

202
00:09:19,584 --> 00:09:21,126
‎我沒事

203
00:09:21,209 --> 00:09:23,834
‎有事的人有辦法這樣嗎？

204
00:09:25,751 --> 00:09:28,876
‎紅條紋？我最後一次喝這牌啤酒
‎是…感恩節的時候了

205
00:09:29,459 --> 00:09:32,626
‎我看到很多濾泡
‎但都沒有對荷爾蒙有反應

206
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:35,209
‎看來我和馬克應該…

207
00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:37,251
‎什麼叫我不是邦妮惠靈頓？

208
00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:39,084
‎這是我的黃金保險卡！

209
00:09:39,168 --> 00:09:40,793
‎-搞什麼…
‎-郊區屌爆了！

210
00:09:40,876 --> 00:09:43,834
‎看看我的香奶兒錢包
‎高爾夫當然是一種運動

211
00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:45,126
‎黛安？

212
00:09:48,043 --> 00:09:50,584
‎簡直就像在照鏡子！

213
00:09:50,668 --> 00:09:52,501
‎（天堂樂園）

214
00:09:52,584 --> 00:09:54,668
‎妳為什麼跑來看醫生？

215
00:09:54,751 --> 00:09:56,876
‎終於要把妳的粗腳踝整一整了嗎？

216
00:09:56,959 --> 00:09:58,293
‎我的腳踝才不粗！

217
00:09:58,376 --> 00:09:59,751
‎那不是重點

218
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:03,043
‎我不敢相信妳居然不告訴我
‎妳發生了什麼事，黛安

219
00:10:03,126 --> 00:10:04,834
‎我不想讓妳擔心嘛！

220
00:10:04,918 --> 00:10:07,459
‎我要把這件事當作剪頭髮一樣

221
00:10:07,543 --> 00:10:09,334
‎自由發揮，然後祈求上帝保佑

222
00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:10,709
‎妳最好是！

223
00:10:10,793 --> 00:10:14,209
‎我才不會讓我姊姊
‎跟基督科學教派一樣

224
00:10:14,293 --> 00:10:16,751
‎只會“祈求上帝保佑”

225
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,834
‎我會替妳聯絡我的醫生

226
00:10:19,918 --> 00:10:20,751
‎真的嗎？

227
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:24,959
‎我在人工受孕療程花的錢
‎基本上夠她買第二棟房子了

228
00:10:25,043 --> 00:10:26,168
‎這是她欠我的

229
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,334
‎哇，謝謝妳，邦妮，我真心的

230
00:10:29,418 --> 00:10:31,251
‎這真讓我放心多了

231
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:32,376
‎應該的

232
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:36,918
‎那…要不要點一瓶灰皮諾葡萄酒啊？

233
00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:38,334
‎現在才上午十點

234
00:10:38,418 --> 00:10:39,501
‎知道了

235
00:10:39,584 --> 00:10:40,751
‎我們喝梅洛紅酒

236
00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:48,084
‎記得保持你的雙手
‎在北極星和日至點的位置

237
00:10:48,168 --> 00:10:49,793
‎不是十點鐘和兩點鐘方向嗎？

238
00:10:49,876 --> 00:10:52,293
‎噢，我都用日晷來看時間的

239
00:10:52,376 --> 00:10:54,751
‎日晷其實準多了，你看

240
00:10:54,834 --> 00:10:56,959
‎該死！我全身都濕了！

241
00:10:57,043 --> 00:10:58,043
‎不是我的錯喔！

242
00:10:58,126 --> 00:11:01,209
‎沒事，我把它遮起來就好了

243
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:02,834
‎天啊！

244
00:11:02,918 --> 00:11:04,209
‎吸我的尻啦！

245
00:11:05,376 --> 00:11:06,543
‎我的抗藍光眼鏡

246
00:11:06,626 --> 00:11:08,168
‎我找好久了

247
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,626
‎我還是覺得這地方很妙，邦妮

248
00:11:10,709 --> 00:11:13,001
‎他們居然有泊外套的人！

249
00:11:13,084 --> 00:11:14,584
‎那叫做衣帽寄放間

250
00:11:14,668 --> 00:11:17,001
‎歡迎來到西北醫院婦女健康中心

251
00:11:17,084 --> 00:11:19,626
‎我待會再端出杏仁脆餅招待兩位

252
00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:22,959
‎請兩位先找個舒服的地方坐下

253
00:11:23,043 --> 00:11:25,668
‎我知道我坐在哪裡最舒服

254
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:28,418
‎黛安！太感謝你了

255
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:32,418
‎幹嘛？那個小鮮肉
‎看起來就像巨石強森

256
00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:34,918
‎我喜歡他在新的
‎《野蠻遊戲》電影裡的樣子

257
00:11:35,001 --> 00:11:36,043
‎《野蠻遊戲》？

258
00:11:36,126 --> 00:11:40,293
‎不是，我說的是真正的“巨”石強森
‎那個A片男星

259
00:11:45,293 --> 00:11:46,876
‎老天，這毯子也太重了

260
00:11:46,959 --> 00:11:48,334
‎誰會想要…？

261
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,043
‎毯子加重蓋起來會更舒服

262
00:11:51,126 --> 00:11:51,959
‎我起來了！

263
00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:53,709
‎妳一定就是黛安

264
00:11:53,793 --> 00:11:55,626
‎很高興認識妳

265
00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:58,918
‎邦妮，妳昨天回去後感覺如何？

266
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:01,209
‎我很好，謝謝，我不想多說

267
00:12:01,293 --> 00:12:04,126
‎好的，這是舒緩心神的茉莉花茶

268
00:12:04,209 --> 00:12:07,751
‎座位都幫妳們加熱了
‎如果太熱的話再告訴我們

269
00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:10,918
‎我幫妳在線上填好表格了

270
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:13,001
‎這裡有一些妳得問的問題…

271
00:12:13,084 --> 00:12:15,126
‎如果妳不告訴我妳怎麼了

272
00:12:15,209 --> 00:12:17,584
‎我就把舒緩心神的
‎阿拉丁茶潑妳臉上！

273
00:12:17,668 --> 00:12:19,043
‎那是茉莉花茶

274
00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:23,876
‎好吧，其實我昨天來的時候

275
00:12:23,959 --> 00:12:28,626
‎醫生跟我說我沒有辦法再自然懷孕

276
00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:31,376
‎靠，妳有跟馬克說嗎？

277
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,209
‎沒有，這真是太丟人了！

278
00:12:34,293 --> 00:12:37,876
‎要向老公承認
‎自己的身體已經…沒用了？

279
00:12:38,376 --> 00:12:39,834
‎他能理解的，小邦

280
00:12:40,334 --> 00:12:42,376
‎他的身體好多年前就沒用了

281
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,543
‎而且馬克很愛妳

282
00:12:45,626 --> 00:12:47,876
‎還有，千萬別說妳的身體沒用了！

283
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:51,209
‎如果妳不能懷孕
‎那只代表妳可以想上…

284
00:12:51,293 --> 00:12:53,126
‎黛安，輪到妳了

285
00:12:55,793 --> 00:12:57,918
‎我大概只能在這裡做檢查了

286
00:12:58,001 --> 00:12:59,043
‎（柏文小學）

287
00:12:59,126 --> 00:12:59,959
‎（停）

288
00:13:00,043 --> 00:13:02,001
‎提米，你今天是游擊手

289
00:13:02,084 --> 00:13:03,251
‎好好去玩吧

290
00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:05,959
‎謝謝你，戴維斯教練！

291
00:13:06,043 --> 00:13:08,668
‎嘿，孩子們，想吃點免費點心嗎？

292
00:13:08,751 --> 00:13:09,834
‎搞什麼？

293
00:13:10,334 --> 00:13:11,709
‎看看這個死變態

294
00:13:11,793 --> 00:13:13,293
‎喂！就是你！滾開！

295
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:17,043
‎別擔心，先生，你也有份！

296
00:13:17,668 --> 00:13:18,709
‎給我滾出去！

297
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,084
‎我哪裡也不去！

298
00:13:20,168 --> 00:13:22,126
‎我要改變這些小孩的人生

299
00:13:22,209 --> 00:13:24,584
‎該往他們嘴裡塞些健康的東西了！

300
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:27,668
‎漢克！菲爾！快拿球棒
‎又有變態出現了！

301
00:13:27,751 --> 00:13:29,793
‎這看來…不太妙

302
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,334
‎我不是…

303
00:13:31,418 --> 00:13:32,959
‎-是變態小貨車！
‎-不是

304
00:13:34,043 --> 00:13:36,084
‎噢，不是！你們搞錯了

305
00:13:36,168 --> 00:13:40,043
‎我同事和我在開車
‎然後我的衣服被果汁潑到了

306
00:13:40,126 --> 00:13:41,751
‎最好是

307
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:44,209
‎這都是誤會，但是我…

308
00:13:44,293 --> 00:13:45,501
‎快開車，丹尼爾！

309
00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:47,918
‎-車子不會動！
‎-你手煞車拉起來了嗎？

310
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,209
‎我不知道什麼是手煞車！

311
00:13:50,293 --> 00:13:52,501
‎看吧？沒那麼糟嘛

312
00:13:52,584 --> 00:13:54,876
‎這條毛巾給妳
‎把超音波凝膠擦一擦

313
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,876
‎我想要來一瓶那個凝膠…私人用途

314
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:01,584
‎-黛安！
‎-言歸正傳，做完檢查了

315
00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:03,418
‎我的分數是多少？我通過了嗎？

316
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,459
‎我們還得檢視一下影像

317
00:14:05,543 --> 00:14:08,709
‎星期一早上就能知道結果

318
00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:10,459
‎我得等整整一個週末嗎？

319
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,084
‎好吧，我可以等

320
00:14:13,918 --> 00:14:15,709
‎沒問題

321
00:14:28,251 --> 00:14:29,626
‎佩洛醫生？

322
00:14:29,709 --> 00:14:31,418
‎黛安！希望妳週末過得愉快

323
00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:34,209
‎我自己不是很好
‎我湖邊小屋的按摩浴缸水滿出來了…

324
00:14:34,293 --> 00:14:35,709
‎快告訴我超音波結果，拜託！

325
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:37,043
‎噢對，好

326
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,918
‎好消息是，那個硬塊
‎只是個無害的囊腫

327
00:14:42,209 --> 00:14:44,709
‎迪特卡教練的老二保佑！
‎我終於放心了！

328
00:14:44,793 --> 00:14:49,584
‎但是，妳的隆乳植體
‎因為鈣質沈積硬化了

329
00:14:49,668 --> 00:14:51,918
‎讚喔！鈣質是好東西，對吧？

330
00:14:52,418 --> 00:14:54,084
‎不對，這是很嚴重的事

331
00:14:54,584 --> 00:14:57,626
‎黛安，妳得把隆乳植體拿掉

332
00:14:57,709 --> 00:15:00,001
‎但我這對已經用了好幾十年了

333
00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:03,751
‎看得出來，序列號碼上面寫了11

334
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:06,376
‎好吧，我什麼時候可以過去
‎把它們拿掉？

335
00:15:06,459 --> 00:15:09,209
‎我替妳檢查是因為欠妳妹妹人情

336
00:15:09,293 --> 00:15:13,001
‎不過可惜的是，我不能因為人情
‎就幫妳開刀，所以…

337
00:15:13,084 --> 00:15:14,668
‎不管要花多少錢

338
00:15:14,751 --> 00:15:17,251
‎我才不要回到原本那個爛診所

339
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:21,043
‎好吧，這種手術通常需要花費五萬元

340
00:15:21,543 --> 00:15:25,126
‎最後，醫生會用比較經濟的縫法

341
00:15:25,209 --> 00:15:29,751
‎叫做“戰地縫法”
‎將皮膚縫合，並把任何…

342
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:32,584
‎知道了，這到底要花我多少錢？

343
00:15:32,668 --> 00:15:34,834
‎大概一萬塊

344
00:15:34,918 --> 00:15:35,959
‎請稍等

345
00:15:37,043 --> 00:15:38,376
‎一萬塊？

346
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,334
‎我要去哪裡生這麼多錢？

347
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:42,626
‎我是可以推薦妳去賣腳的照片

348
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:46,043
‎但相信我，那個市場已經飽和了

349
00:15:46,126 --> 00:15:49,459
‎所以妳的另一個最好的選項
‎就是申請醫療貸款

350
00:15:50,418 --> 00:15:52,584
‎黛安，這個貸款的條件糟透了

351
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:56,251
‎我知道！他們說我必須生前
‎就把器官捐掉

352
00:15:56,334 --> 00:16:00,709
‎但這是我唯一的選項
‎就因為有人不在乎他的員工

353
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,418
‎黛安，我很抱歉事情是這樣
‎但這不是我規定的，是公司規定的

354
00:16:04,501 --> 00:16:05,959
‎你就是公司！

355
00:16:06,043 --> 00:16:09,084
‎她說得對，吉迪恩
‎我們的保險爛透了

356
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,626
‎我的盲腸還得自己割

357
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,501
‎我很抱歉，這不是我能決定的

358
00:16:13,584 --> 00:16:14,834
‎我的手也被綁住了

359
00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:17,418
‎真變態

360
00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:20,834
‎大家今天都辛苦了

361
00:16:20,918 --> 00:16:24,584
‎我們提早關門去喝酒吧？我請客

362
00:16:24,668 --> 00:16:27,543
‎謝了，吉迪恩，但我真的沒什麼心情

363
00:16:28,376 --> 00:16:30,543
‎老天，這下嚴重了

364
00:16:31,709 --> 00:16:33,168
‎可以給我一點果汁嗎？

365
00:16:33,251 --> 00:16:34,293
‎當然可以

366
00:16:34,376 --> 00:16:36,376
‎最棒的是，這是全天然果汁喔

367
00:16:36,459 --> 00:16:37,459
‎再給我一杯！

368
00:16:37,543 --> 00:16:38,459
‎沒問題

369
00:16:38,543 --> 00:16:40,084
‎換一間學校真是明智

370
00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:41,834
‎今天比昨天順利多了

371
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,543
‎他們喝個不停耶

372
00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:47,709
‎對，我覺得他們應該是
‎喝太多糖太嗨了

373
00:16:47,793 --> 00:16:48,918
‎還要果汁！

374
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,668
‎-好了，冷靜點，小朋友
‎-果汁！

375
00:16:50,751 --> 00:16:52,126
‎大家都有果汁

376
00:16:53,168 --> 00:16:55,834
‎小朋友，這是我們本季
‎第一次到他校比賽

377
00:16:55,918 --> 00:16:57,334
‎讓我們給他們看看…

378
00:16:57,418 --> 00:16:58,834
‎我的天啊！

379
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:01,959
‎嘿！你以為換了衣服
‎我就認不出你嗎？

380
00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:03,459
‎怎樣，你在跟蹤我們嗎？

381
00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:05,043
‎先生，我可以解釋

382
00:17:05,126 --> 00:17:06,668
‎這跟你無關，四眼田雞！

383
00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:09,001
‎他是壞人嗎，戴維斯教練？

384
00:17:09,084 --> 00:17:10,251
‎他的確是壞人，布萊頓

385
00:17:11,376 --> 00:17:12,209
‎抓住他！

386
00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:14,876
‎小心點，我的肋骨很軟

387
00:17:14,959 --> 00:17:17,209
‎這下糟了

388
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:19,959
‎謝謝妳載我去手術

389
00:17:20,043 --> 00:17:22,918
‎妳願意這麼早去診所
‎真的讓我刮目相看

390
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,626
‎其實我想好好送我的女孩們一程

391
00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:28,668
‎獻給莫兒和賴瑞的
‎“感謝你們多年相挺”之旅

392
00:17:28,751 --> 00:17:30,376
‎那是妳替它們取的名字？

393
00:17:30,459 --> 00:17:32,626
‎我？不是，是演員丹艾克洛德取的

394
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:37,543
‎我就是在這裡掉下船

395
00:17:37,626 --> 00:17:39,668
‎然後靠這一對假奶浮在水面上

396
00:17:39,751 --> 00:17:41,084
‎（腸腸圈）

397
00:17:41,918 --> 00:17:44,543
‎我在這裡告訴那些海軍陸戰隊
‎我們抓到賓拉登了

398
00:17:44,626 --> 00:17:46,334
‎謝謝你們為國效力！

399
00:17:46,418 --> 00:17:48,501
‎至少我覺得他們是阿兵哥啦

400
00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:51,709
‎而這裡就是
‎我被棒球主播卡雷埋胸的地方

401
00:17:53,709 --> 00:17:56,793
‎他的心臟停了快十分鐘

402
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:59,459
‎（戈德曼日曬沙龍
‎讓你曬出漂亮咪咪）

403
00:17:59,543 --> 00:18:01,418
‎（塗滿南北半球-天壤之別油漆）

404
00:18:01,501 --> 00:18:04,543
‎（愛人小徑-任何情侶都速配）

405
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:07,043
‎而一切都是從這裡開始的

406
00:18:07,126 --> 00:18:10,293
‎我裝假奶的診所

407
00:18:10,876 --> 00:18:13,543
‎可惜現在變成墨西哥餐廳了

408
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,251
‎沒有，它本來就是墨西哥餐廳

409
00:18:17,918 --> 00:18:19,376
‎我會想念這對車頭燈的

410
00:18:19,918 --> 00:18:22,834
‎至少妳的保險會負擔手術費用

411
00:18:22,918 --> 00:18:26,043
‎是啊…嘿，妳跟馬克說了嗎？

412
00:18:26,126 --> 00:18:26,959
‎還沒

413
00:18:27,459 --> 00:18:30,084
‎小邦，妳還有大好的未來

414
00:18:30,168 --> 00:18:32,251
‎而且妳不需要有小孩才能享受

415
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:33,793
‎謝謝，黛安

416
00:18:34,459 --> 00:18:37,709
‎妳也不需要這對寶貝才能享受人生

417
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:41,376
‎老天，妳的奶子硬得跟石頭一樣！

418
00:18:41,459 --> 00:18:43,251
‎沒錯，那是不太好

419
00:18:44,168 --> 00:18:45,293
‎做得好，提米

420
00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:46,876
‎團隊合作，孩子們

421
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,168
‎滾出去！

422
00:18:50,376 --> 00:18:52,376
‎丹尼爾，腳踩住煞車！

423
00:18:52,459 --> 00:18:55,084
‎我踩了！它還是不會動！

424
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:57,293
‎沒時間了！踩油門！

425
00:18:59,418 --> 00:19:00,959
‎我的天啊！羽哥！

426
00:19:02,001 --> 00:19:05,043
‎丹尼爾，載我去醫院

427
00:19:05,126 --> 00:19:07,418
‎我覺得我好像有骨頭斷了

428
00:19:07,501 --> 00:19:09,793
‎攻擊性駕駛，就像巨石強森一樣！

429
00:19:10,293 --> 00:19:11,918
‎什麼，那個A片演員嗎？

430
00:19:12,001 --> 00:19:14,043
‎他在那裡！抓住他！

431
00:19:14,126 --> 00:19:14,959
‎別再回來了！

432
00:19:16,584 --> 00:19:17,751
‎妳感覺怎麼樣？

433
00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:21,459
‎還不錯，我在電梯裡嚼了一些
‎大麻軟糖，替麻醉做準備

434
00:19:21,543 --> 00:19:22,751
‎羨慕！

435
00:19:23,334 --> 00:19:27,418
‎現在妳只要在這些貸款文件上
‎簽名就好了

436
00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:29,959
‎好，速戰速決吧

437
00:19:30,751 --> 00:19:32,834
‎什麼都別簽！

438
00:19:32,918 --> 00:19:34,084
‎她有保險

439
00:19:34,168 --> 00:19:35,501
‎你是怎麼進來的？

440
00:19:35,584 --> 00:19:37,168
‎櫃檯又沒有人

441
00:19:37,251 --> 00:19:39,459
‎可惡！我們該找個臨時工來顧了

442
00:19:40,251 --> 00:19:42,001
‎我以為只有經理才有保險給付

443
00:19:42,084 --> 00:19:45,793
‎博羅的某人剛剛把妳升成經理了

444
00:19:45,876 --> 00:19:49,043
‎太好了！吉迪恩，你被開除了！

445
00:19:49,126 --> 00:19:51,168
‎那個人是我，妳這白痴！

446
00:19:51,251 --> 00:19:55,168
‎話先說清楚，妳在工作上
‎不會有額外的職權，懂嗎？

447
00:19:56,334 --> 00:19:58,709
‎說真的，吉迪恩，謝謝你！

448
00:19:59,334 --> 00:20:01,376
‎我永遠不會忘記的

449
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,751
‎我也永遠忘不掉妳穿病人服的樣子

450
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,918
‎妳知道妳手術袍穿反了吧？

451
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:13,584
‎丹尼爾，我覺得我撐不下去了

452
00:20:13,668 --> 00:20:15,709
‎羽哥，你不可以死！

453
00:20:15,793 --> 00:20:18,376
‎別擋路，你這臭雞雞！

454
00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:20,834
‎少吃點飯、車開快點！

455
00:20:20,918 --> 00:20:23,834
‎好耶，平面道路就是我的天下！

456
00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:28,251
‎我給黛安帶了些漢堡

457
00:20:29,168 --> 00:20:30,251
‎味道超濃！

458
00:20:31,084 --> 00:20:32,209
‎喉嚨都有點刺刺的

459
00:20:32,293 --> 00:20:35,501
‎我得說，幸好我們的寶寶
‎不會在這種地方出生

460
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,751
‎我是說，怎麼會沒有豎琴師呢？

461
00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:39,959
‎馬克，我得告訴你一件事

462
00:20:41,251 --> 00:20:43,043
‎我去看醫生，醫生跟我說

463
00:20:43,126 --> 00:20:45,668
‎我們不可能再自然懷上一個寶寶

464
00:20:45,751 --> 00:20:47,043
‎我的身體沒辦法

465
00:20:47,126 --> 00:20:49,043
‎噢，邦妮寶貝

466
00:20:49,543 --> 00:20:50,376
‎沒事的

467
00:20:50,876 --> 00:20:52,751
‎我願意嘗試任何事

468
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:53,959
‎我們可以嘗試代孕…

469
00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:57,918
‎我剛剛在一段有趣的廣播節目中
‎聽到生物複製技術的事

470
00:20:58,001 --> 00:21:00,501
‎主持人泰莉葛洛斯訪問了一隻羊
‎然後我覺得…

471
00:21:00,584 --> 00:21:02,459
‎馬克，我沒事

472
00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:04,293
‎我想過了

473
00:21:04,376 --> 00:21:07,626
‎也許我們現在不適合再生一個孩子

474
00:21:08,126 --> 00:21:10,584
‎我們的人生還有很多美好的事物

475
00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:14,626
‎讓我們一起珍惜身邊的人就好

476
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:15,668
‎妳確定嗎？

477
00:21:15,751 --> 00:21:16,834
‎確定

478
00:21:16,918 --> 00:21:18,668
‎救命！拜託救救他！

479
00:21:19,876 --> 00:21:22,959
‎麻醉藥呢？
‎我知道你們一定有麻醉藥！

480
00:21:23,043 --> 00:21:23,959
‎嘿，兒子

481
00:21:24,043 --> 00:21:25,209
‎你們在這裡做什麼？

482
00:21:25,293 --> 00:21:26,793
‎黛安在做手術

483
00:21:26,876 --> 00:21:27,959
‎抱歉，你說什麼？

484
00:21:28,043 --> 00:21:31,584
‎沒什麼大不了的
‎她只是要把假奶拿掉

485
00:21:31,668 --> 00:21:32,668
‎莫兒和賴瑞？

486
00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:35,001
‎為什麼沒人告訴我她要開刀？

487
00:21:35,084 --> 00:21:36,626
‎我們不想讓你擔心！

488
00:21:36,709 --> 00:21:39,418
‎我不想再被你們
‎當成脆弱的小花呵護了！

489
00:21:39,501 --> 00:21:42,584
‎我自己開車過來的！還開高速公路！
‎超屌的！

490
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,584
‎是你撞到你朋友的嗎？

491
00:21:44,668 --> 00:21:45,876
‎是我，他還好嗎？

492
00:21:45,959 --> 00:21:46,876
‎他會沒事的

493
00:21:46,959 --> 00:21:48,459
‎太好了，謝謝

494
00:21:48,543 --> 00:21:50,793
‎你們太擔心我會崩潰

495
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,459
‎就連你們想再生一個小孩
‎都不敢馬上跟我說！

496
00:21:53,543 --> 00:21:54,876
‎我們不生了

497
00:21:54,959 --> 00:21:56,293
‎什麼？什麼時候決定的？

498
00:21:56,376 --> 00:21:57,584
‎大概兩分鐘前

499
00:21:59,209 --> 00:22:01,584
‎好吧，謝謝你們告訴我

500
00:22:05,084 --> 00:22:06,334
‎（雷格）

501
00:22:06,418 --> 00:22:09,459
‎我就知道天堂會有屌爆的搖滾樂

502
00:22:09,543 --> 00:22:10,959
‎黛安阿姨，妳沒事

503
00:22:11,043 --> 00:22:13,001
‎我私訊電台了，妳聽！

504
00:22:13,084 --> 00:22:15,209
‎剛剛那首歌獻給下流的黛安！

505
00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:17,334
‎接下來，現場有幾位豐滿的辣嬤

506
00:22:17,418 --> 00:22:20,751
‎要來比賽看看她們嘴裡能塞幾瓶啤酒

507
00:22:20,834 --> 00:22:23,168
‎那些賤人是比不過我的！

508
00:22:23,251 --> 00:22:25,668
‎-天啊，黛安，妳的病人服…
‎-那節目怎麼還在播？

509
00:22:25,751 --> 00:22:27,709
‎這是我的人生使命！

510
00:23:01,709 --> 00:23:06,709
‎字幕翻譯：齊姵雲