1 00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:07,834 [electricity crackling] 2 00:00:10,168 --> 00:00:12,626 [thrilling music playing] 3 00:00:13,293 --> 00:00:15,293 [announcer] Welcome back to Smelt Tank. 4 00:00:19,418 --> 00:00:20,959 Now entering the Smelt Tank, 5 00:00:21,043 --> 00:00:24,584 local entrepreneurs Diane Dunbrowski and Gideon Duchamp, 6 00:00:24,668 --> 00:00:28,459 who are looking to smooth things out with their lotion business, Congeal. 7 00:00:28,543 --> 00:00:31,001 Gideon, relax, you look like you're gonna faint. 8 00:00:31,084 --> 00:00:32,918 -[whispering] I'm fine, just go. -Um… 9 00:00:33,001 --> 00:00:37,084 Welcome to frickin' gorgeous city, population you three. 10 00:00:37,168 --> 00:00:38,834 [judges laughing] 11 00:00:38,918 --> 00:00:41,834 If you woulda told me that one day I'd be pitching to the Smelts, 12 00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:44,834 I would've told you to stop mixing your Ambien with White Claw. 13 00:00:44,918 --> 00:00:45,793 [laughing] 14 00:00:45,876 --> 00:00:47,251 [anxiously] Move on. 15 00:00:47,334 --> 00:00:49,126 Anywho's the Boss… 16 00:00:49,209 --> 00:00:51,668 Cream team, hit them with the samples. 17 00:00:52,543 --> 00:00:54,709 Now, I ain't great at all the business talk, 18 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,043 so I'm gonna pass it over 19 00:00:56,126 --> 00:00:58,834 -to my little ticklish friend, Gideon. -[giggling] 20 00:00:58,918 --> 00:01:00,293 Okay. All right. 21 00:01:01,126 --> 00:01:04,334 Smelts, we have a state-of-the-art production facility, 22 00:01:04,418 --> 00:01:07,001 a direct supply line to our main ingredients, 23 00:01:07,084 --> 00:01:09,834 and a product that people are raving about. 24 00:01:09,918 --> 00:01:12,918 We are perfectly teed up to take this to the next level. 25 00:01:13,001 --> 00:01:17,251 What we need is access to major buyers who can help us get there. 26 00:01:17,334 --> 00:01:18,626 So, whaddya say? 27 00:01:18,709 --> 00:01:22,084 We dealt it. Do you wanna smelt it? 28 00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:23,834 [judges laughing] 29 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,376 I think this stuff feels great, 30 00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:27,626 but I don't know the cosmetics field. 31 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:31,834 My business is pizza, some salads, obviously pop. 32 00:01:31,918 --> 00:01:33,168 Anyway, I'm out. 33 00:01:33,251 --> 00:01:34,584 [tense music playing] 34 00:01:34,668 --> 00:01:36,168 Yeah, I'll piggyback on that. 35 00:01:36,251 --> 00:01:38,626 My business is mostly sub-oriented. 36 00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:41,126 -Do they only pick food ideas? -[Mr. Submarine] Subs, chips… 37 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:42,043 It is Chicago. 38 00:01:42,751 --> 00:01:44,459 So unfortunately, I'm out. 39 00:01:44,543 --> 00:01:45,668 Mm… 40 00:01:45,751 --> 00:01:47,001 [tense music playing] 41 00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:48,793 And then there was one. 42 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,543 Look, I'm a pasta girl. 43 00:01:50,626 --> 00:01:53,959 -I have a whole line of sauces, noodles. -Come on, Rancic, you too? 44 00:01:54,043 --> 00:01:57,918 But I also have a cosmetics line, so I know my lotion. 45 00:01:58,001 --> 00:02:00,459 And you two are quite the combination. 46 00:02:00,543 --> 00:02:04,959 This firecracker sets 'em up and this handsome hunk knocks 'em down. 47 00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:06,376 Next week is Cosmecon, 48 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,668 the biggest cosmetics convention in the Midwest. 49 00:02:08,751 --> 00:02:10,043 Where's she going with this? 50 00:02:10,126 --> 00:02:13,209 And I could guarantee you a booth at the convention 51 00:02:13,293 --> 00:02:15,376 and a slot on the big stage 52 00:02:15,459 --> 00:02:19,043 to showcase your product in front of thousands of people. 53 00:02:19,126 --> 00:02:21,668 -[Giuliana] Congeal… -Ah shit, she's out. 54 00:02:21,751 --> 00:02:23,084 …you have a deal! 55 00:02:23,168 --> 00:02:24,543 [cheering] 56 00:02:24,626 --> 00:02:26,418 -Yeah, we did it! -We did it! 57 00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:27,418 Aah! 58 00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:28,501 Oh my God! 59 00:02:28,584 --> 00:02:31,584 -I'll give him mouth-to-mouth. -No! I'm fine! I'm fine! 60 00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:34,251 [theme music playing] 61 00:02:43,918 --> 00:02:46,501 Stop churning, Mikey, it's not butter. Go clockwise. 62 00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:48,376 -Aah… -Make a circle. 63 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,168 Oh! Ten-four! 64 00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:53,376 How's our bottle count, ladies? 65 00:02:53,459 --> 00:02:56,668 Like my breasts before children. Very high. 66 00:02:56,751 --> 00:02:57,751 Fantastic! 67 00:02:57,834 --> 00:02:59,126 Hold up-- You have kids? 68 00:02:59,209 --> 00:03:02,209 And no one's getting that recipe without going through me! 69 00:03:02,293 --> 00:03:04,501 Again, we don't need you to guard it. 70 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:05,793 [Gabriella] Who wants rib tips? 71 00:03:05,876 --> 00:03:07,959 -[Mikey] Oh, oh, oh! -I do! Smells good! 72 00:03:08,043 --> 00:03:08,918 Mwah. 73 00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:11,376 New mock-up for the logo looks great, Daniel. 74 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:15,668 Thanks! Diane gave it "two farts up," but I didn't know if that was good or bad. 75 00:03:15,751 --> 00:03:18,126 Speaking of, where is she? 76 00:03:18,209 --> 00:03:19,834 We have an important announcement to make. 77 00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:21,293 -[tires screeching] -[loud crash] 78 00:03:21,376 --> 00:03:22,584 [groans] 79 00:03:22,668 --> 00:03:23,918 [Daniel gasps] 80 00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:27,959 Sorry, gang! Barack's in town and traffic's a nightmare. 81 00:03:28,043 --> 00:03:29,376 Thanks, Obama. 82 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,459 [groans] 83 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,126 Anyhoo, did I miss it? 84 00:03:32,209 --> 00:03:34,168 Did you tell Daniel we made him a partner? 85 00:03:34,251 --> 00:03:35,251 What?! 86 00:03:35,334 --> 00:03:38,709 I was waiting to do it together, like we planned. 87 00:03:38,793 --> 00:03:43,168 Daniel, we have decided to officially name you Artistic Director 88 00:03:43,251 --> 00:03:46,334 and give you 10% of the company. 89 00:03:46,418 --> 00:03:48,084 Oh my God! Uh! 90 00:03:48,168 --> 00:03:50,834 What should I say? I'm not great off the cuff. 91 00:03:50,918 --> 00:03:54,001 You don't have to say anything, it's just an announcement. 92 00:03:54,084 --> 00:03:55,459 Right. Sorry, boss. 93 00:03:55,543 --> 00:03:56,584 I'm not your boss. 94 00:03:56,668 --> 00:03:58,584 And again, stop saluting people. 95 00:03:58,668 --> 00:04:00,584 -[Diane] Mm? -Diane, can we talk? 96 00:04:00,668 --> 00:04:01,918 Absotootly! 97 00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:04,626 Gimme two secs, though. I'm smelling rib tips. 98 00:04:04,709 --> 00:04:09,918 Diane, Cosmecon is this weekend and I need you showing up on time! 99 00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:11,376 -[phone chimes] -Copy that, partner. 100 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,168 Oh my God, Diane! Check your email! 101 00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:16,126 -Why? You check it for the both of us. -[sighs] 102 00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:19,168 Girl, Borough just sent us an offer to buy us out! 103 00:04:19,251 --> 00:04:21,459 Holy shit! Gideon, we're rich! 104 00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:24,126 I can get new tits, new teeth, new ass. 105 00:04:24,209 --> 00:04:25,209 Mm. What else? 106 00:04:25,293 --> 00:04:27,626 We are not taking this deal. 107 00:04:27,709 --> 00:04:29,376 Say that again in my good ear. 108 00:04:29,459 --> 00:04:30,668 Oh! New ears! 109 00:04:30,751 --> 00:04:32,918 This offer is small potatoes. 110 00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:35,501 With the exposure we're about to get at Cosmecon, 111 00:04:35,584 --> 00:04:39,168 we have a chance at landing a deal ten times this amount. 112 00:04:39,251 --> 00:04:41,251 It's time to think big, girl! 113 00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:43,084 I always do. 114 00:04:43,168 --> 00:04:44,584 Please, don't say it. 115 00:04:44,668 --> 00:04:46,668 I'm talkin' 'bout cock, my friend. 116 00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:47,709 [laughing] 117 00:04:47,793 --> 00:04:49,793 Diane, girl, you is nasty. 118 00:04:49,876 --> 00:04:52,001 And your shirt is covered in rib sauce. 119 00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:55,251 Joke's on you. That's marinara from last week. 120 00:04:55,334 --> 00:04:56,626 Mm! 121 00:04:56,709 --> 00:05:00,834 Honey, have I told you lately how much I love my new job? 122 00:05:00,918 --> 00:05:02,126 Oh, hey, hon. 123 00:05:02,209 --> 00:05:03,251 What's with the lights? 124 00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:05,376 And is the air off? It is boiling in here. 125 00:05:05,459 --> 00:05:06,418 I didn't notice. 126 00:05:06,501 --> 00:05:09,126 You're drenched in sweat. What is going on? 127 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,584 Honestly, Bon, our new incomes aren't cutting it. 128 00:05:11,668 --> 00:05:14,043 After the cost of gas, cleaning, and fender benders, 129 00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:15,293 I'm barely breaking even. 130 00:05:15,376 --> 00:05:16,334 Eh… Oh! 131 00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:18,126 We could have a yard sale. 132 00:05:18,209 --> 00:05:19,376 "A yard sale"? 133 00:05:19,459 --> 00:05:22,918 Our lawn is Kentucky bluegrass, it can't handle all that foot traffic. 134 00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:24,626 We need real money. 135 00:05:24,709 --> 00:05:26,793 We need to seriously talk about offloading-- 136 00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:28,543 Don't say offloading assets. 137 00:05:28,626 --> 00:05:29,709 That's a last resort. 138 00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:31,084 Let's double down. 139 00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:34,293 I'll take every event the London Brothers have. 140 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:38,251 I'm already driving eight hours a day, but I guess I could go to 12. 141 00:05:38,334 --> 00:05:39,168 [Bonnie] Mm. 142 00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:40,334 Or 16. 143 00:05:40,418 --> 00:05:43,334 That's the spirit! We can do this, Mark! 144 00:05:44,626 --> 00:05:46,334 [exhales] 145 00:05:47,334 --> 00:05:48,751 Enjoy your Bamboo Blaster. 146 00:05:48,834 --> 00:05:50,709 I threw in some extra crickets. 147 00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:53,626 Danny-bananny. Ha-ha! 148 00:05:53,709 --> 00:05:55,751 So, I'm having a party. 149 00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:58,251 It's nothing big, just some good friends. 150 00:05:58,334 --> 00:06:01,126 Feather, wow! That's really nice of you. 151 00:06:01,209 --> 00:06:04,501 See, we don't just work together, we're friends. 152 00:06:04,584 --> 00:06:05,709 Oh. No. Um… 153 00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:08,876 I meant, I need you to close up the store for me Friday night. 154 00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:13,376 Friday? Oh. I actually can't. I have Cosmecon. 155 00:06:13,459 --> 00:06:18,584 I'm sorry, Taurus must be rising because I'm not communicating well today. 156 00:06:18,668 --> 00:06:20,251 I wasn't asking. 157 00:06:20,334 --> 00:06:22,959 Hate to play the boss card, but I need you. 158 00:06:23,043 --> 00:06:26,959 Oh my God. I just realized, I have a boss card now. 159 00:06:27,043 --> 00:06:28,251 No, uh… 160 00:06:28,334 --> 00:06:30,584 I was miming playing my boss card. 161 00:06:30,668 --> 00:06:32,584 You can't then use it back on me. 162 00:06:32,668 --> 00:06:35,709 Feather, I mean this in the nicest way possible. 163 00:06:35,793 --> 00:06:37,043 I quit. [chuckles] 164 00:06:37,126 --> 00:06:38,293 I mean, goodbye. 165 00:06:38,376 --> 00:06:39,209 Mm. 166 00:06:41,626 --> 00:06:43,084 [humming] 167 00:06:43,168 --> 00:06:44,751 Good, you're home early! 168 00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:48,334 Now that we finally struck it rich, I'm finally putting in the hot tub! 169 00:06:48,418 --> 00:06:49,584 That's a bad idea. 170 00:06:49,668 --> 00:06:52,501 Also, I'm home early because I quit my job! 171 00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:53,793 Fuck yeah! 172 00:06:53,876 --> 00:06:56,709 Right? It's time to spread my wings! 173 00:06:56,793 --> 00:07:01,209 I mean, how pathetic is it that my life has been just work and this apartment? 174 00:07:01,293 --> 00:07:04,709 Yeah! Now your life's gonna be only this apartment. 175 00:07:04,793 --> 00:07:05,918 Oh, that's not what I meant. 176 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:09,668 My friend, we're about to go from Hagar Van Halen, which rocks, 177 00:07:09,751 --> 00:07:12,876 to David Lee Roth Van Halen, which double rocks! 178 00:07:12,959 --> 00:07:15,001 Yes, that's a lot of rocking. 179 00:07:15,084 --> 00:07:18,043 Now, spread those wings and grab that miter saw. 180 00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:20,751 This tub's going in-ground. 181 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,543 [tires screeching] 182 00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:25,209 Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! 183 00:07:25,918 --> 00:07:28,834 Excuse me, how much did you pay for those laserdiscs? 184 00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:29,918 Eight bucks. 185 00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:32,001 For Junior and Twins? 186 00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:34,376 Congratulations! Deal of the century! 187 00:07:34,459 --> 00:07:36,543 You have them on DVD and Blu-ray. 188 00:07:36,626 --> 00:07:38,209 I thought we said no yard sale. 189 00:07:38,293 --> 00:07:40,626 We were gonna double down on our jobs, remember? 190 00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:42,168 I just pulled an 18-hour shift! 191 00:07:42,251 --> 00:07:43,918 I got three flat tires! 192 00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:45,251 I am doubling down! 193 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:49,293 I have a gig at the Cosmecon tomorrow. I'm trying to make this work. 194 00:07:49,376 --> 00:07:50,501 Hey, how much for this? 195 00:07:50,584 --> 00:07:53,876 We are not gonna be able to pay our mortgage selling our Slap Chop! 196 00:07:53,959 --> 00:07:55,834 -Hmm. -We need to put the condo on the market. 197 00:07:55,918 --> 00:07:58,293 Fine. I will see Diane tomorrow at Cosmecon 198 00:07:58,376 --> 00:08:02,001 and I will tell her in person that we're broke and we have to evict her. 199 00:08:02,084 --> 00:08:04,668 -Okay, Mark? -Sorry, how much for this? 200 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,168 Oh my God, just take it! 201 00:08:06,251 --> 00:08:08,293 Yard sale is over! 202 00:08:08,793 --> 00:08:10,168 [air hissing] 203 00:08:10,251 --> 00:08:11,668 Great! Four for four! 204 00:08:12,918 --> 00:08:14,418 Without further ado, 205 00:08:14,501 --> 00:08:17,418 I'll hand the floor over to my amazing partner, 206 00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:19,959 Gideon Duchamp-champ-champ… 207 00:08:20,043 --> 00:08:21,459 [giggles] Good rehearsal, Diane. 208 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,209 And obviously, on the day, you won't be doing the Pac-Man thing. 209 00:08:25,293 --> 00:08:27,543 Ms. Pac-Man. Sexist. 210 00:08:27,626 --> 00:08:30,793 Tomorrow, we bring our A-game. Get a good night of rest. 211 00:08:30,876 --> 00:08:32,209 Gonna sleep like a baby. 212 00:08:32,293 --> 00:08:34,876 I got earplugs for Fucks Loud Sophie. 213 00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:36,668 Well, if this weekend goes well, 214 00:08:36,751 --> 00:08:39,293 you won't have to deal with this sad shack anymore. 215 00:08:39,376 --> 00:08:42,334 Ha! Yeah, right! I'm never leaving this place. 216 00:08:42,418 --> 00:08:44,418 I've already broken ground on the hot tub. 217 00:08:44,501 --> 00:08:47,043 Your life is about to change, bish. 218 00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:50,751 Get ready for a whole new Diane! 'Night. 219 00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:53,793 What's wrong with the old Diane? 220 00:08:53,876 --> 00:08:56,751 -[Fucks Loud Sophie moaning loudly] -Hmm. 221 00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:02,334 [Diane] I didn't know there was this many types of cosmetics. 222 00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:05,459 All I use is a chunk of Dial soap and a bar rag. 223 00:09:05,543 --> 00:09:08,126 Don't get distracted by all those no-names. 224 00:09:08,209 --> 00:09:11,918 Focus on the heavies. There's L'Oréal, Costco, CVS-- 225 00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:15,668 -An open bar! -Diane, no! Professional, remember? 226 00:09:15,751 --> 00:09:18,834 Yeah, yeah. No booze, no cooze, no weed, no speed. 227 00:09:18,918 --> 00:09:21,293 -No coke, no crack, no smack, no jack-- -We get it. 228 00:09:21,376 --> 00:09:24,168 Here are your passes and your hotel room keys. 229 00:09:24,251 --> 00:09:26,751 Comped rooms? Hell yeah! 230 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,584 Bidet all day, baby! 231 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:32,668 And Daniel, they've asked you to speak on the Artistic Directors' panel 232 00:09:32,751 --> 00:09:33,751 in half an hour. 233 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,001 I'm on the panel? 234 00:09:35,084 --> 00:09:38,126 Like, I have to talk… in front of people? 235 00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:40,084 Hell yeah, Danny Boy! 236 00:09:40,168 --> 00:09:41,501 Okay, I can do this. 237 00:09:41,584 --> 00:09:46,168 Just gonna google if there's a TED talk about how to give a talk, I guess. 238 00:09:46,668 --> 00:09:48,709 Be cool. Costco, one o'clock. 239 00:09:48,793 --> 00:09:52,168 We're going to Costco at 1:00? I gotta borrow Zuzana's card. 240 00:09:52,251 --> 00:09:53,751 You must be Diane and Gideon. 241 00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:56,751 A lot of buzz about Congeal amongst the big-box stores. 242 00:09:56,834 --> 00:09:57,668 [laughs] 243 00:09:57,751 --> 00:10:00,501 -"Big box--" -Uh, thank you for stopping by. 244 00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:02,918 I hope you can make the presentation tomorrow. 245 00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:05,668 Absolutely. Then, I have to take off right away. 246 00:10:05,751 --> 00:10:08,293 -You know the life of an executive. -Sure do! 247 00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,543 Mo money, mo hot tub problems. [laughs] 248 00:10:10,626 --> 00:10:12,709 No, I just meant all the travel. 249 00:10:12,793 --> 00:10:15,459 Anyway, I am looking forward to mañana. 250 00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:17,501 We can't be doing all that traveling. 251 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:20,418 Zuzana said she won't cover any more of my shifts. 252 00:10:20,501 --> 00:10:22,251 Sugar, when we make this sale, 253 00:10:22,334 --> 00:10:24,834 you are not gonna be working at Borough anymore. 254 00:10:24,918 --> 00:10:27,418 We're gonna be worldwide, baby! 255 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,876 -[laughs] -Mm. 256 00:10:28,959 --> 00:10:30,293 Mm? 257 00:10:30,376 --> 00:10:31,293 Mm. 258 00:10:31,376 --> 00:10:32,959 You're not the boss of me. 259 00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:34,876 Mm. Mm. 260 00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:36,584 Hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm here for the-- 261 00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:37,876 Great, the model is here. 262 00:10:37,959 --> 00:10:39,834 Model? Wow. 263 00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:43,793 Well, I was crowned Miss Teen I-55 in high school, so-- 264 00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:45,876 Uh… 265 00:10:45,959 --> 00:10:48,251 Is someone going to do my makeup? 266 00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:50,459 "Before" models do their own faces. 267 00:10:50,543 --> 00:10:51,626 [sighs] 268 00:10:51,709 --> 00:10:54,418 -No! That's for "after" models only. -Ow! 269 00:10:54,501 --> 00:10:55,834 [audience laughing] 270 00:10:55,918 --> 00:10:59,543 Because we think the real product is people. 271 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:00,876 Does that make sense? 272 00:11:00,959 --> 00:11:03,209 So well said, Caden. 273 00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:06,084 Now, let's turn to a new brand, Congeal, 274 00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:09,251 and their own 18-year-old Daniel Whiddington. 275 00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:10,376 Present! 276 00:11:10,459 --> 00:11:11,459 [moderator] Yikes! 277 00:11:11,543 --> 00:11:16,376 So, Daniel, you bypassed college and got into cosmetics with your aunt 278 00:11:16,459 --> 00:11:19,668 who called this a, quote, "rags to bitches" story. 279 00:11:19,751 --> 00:11:24,084 So, how does that laissez faire approach affect your back-end numbers? 280 00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:26,168 Ha-ha. "Back end." 281 00:11:26,251 --> 00:11:28,876 -Sorry. Um… [clears throat] I mean-- -[mic feedback] 282 00:11:28,959 --> 00:11:30,376 Sorry! I'm sorry. 283 00:11:30,459 --> 00:11:31,459 Where was I? 284 00:11:31,543 --> 00:11:32,459 Um… 285 00:11:32,543 --> 00:11:33,793 So, sales… 286 00:11:33,876 --> 00:11:34,751 Ah! 287 00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:36,251 What are sales? 288 00:11:37,293 --> 00:11:38,668 I think that's great. 289 00:11:38,751 --> 00:11:40,126 What are sales? 290 00:11:40,209 --> 00:11:41,334 They're nothing. 291 00:11:41,418 --> 00:11:43,959 What are people? Everything! 292 00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:45,959 -[crowd applause] -Does that make sense? 293 00:11:46,043 --> 00:11:48,084 And our churn rate went bananas, 294 00:11:48,168 --> 00:11:50,709 once I implemented evergreen marketing at Target. 295 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,668 Yeah, I like to go into Target and wear a red polo shirt 296 00:11:53,751 --> 00:11:56,751 so it looks like I work there, and then fuck with everyone. 297 00:11:56,834 --> 00:11:57,668 Ugh! 298 00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,668 [Bonnie] Can I get a glass of chardonnay with a pinot grigio topper? 299 00:12:01,168 --> 00:12:03,251 -Bonnie? What are you doing here? -Uh! 300 00:12:03,334 --> 00:12:06,084 Oh! Are you planning one of your big, fancy events? 301 00:12:06,168 --> 00:12:09,793 Eh… Yes. I am helping coordinate all the-- 302 00:12:09,876 --> 00:12:11,543 Hey, those thin lips are on in two. 303 00:12:11,626 --> 00:12:12,501 In a minute. 304 00:12:12,584 --> 00:12:14,501 Whoa, you have a whole staff? 305 00:12:14,584 --> 00:12:16,418 You're really killin' it, Bon. 306 00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:18,918 Look at us, couple of Chicago slobs, 307 00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:22,668 lathering ourselves up with all these frou-frou beauty types. 308 00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:26,626 Congeal, the Dallas market is super excited about you! 309 00:12:26,709 --> 00:12:27,834 Yeah, we'll see. 310 00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:30,668 Wow. It's really happening for you, isn't it? 311 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:31,959 Big changes. 312 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:34,209 Yeah, well, not really changes, 313 00:12:34,293 --> 00:12:36,793 more like improvements that keep everything the same. 314 00:12:36,876 --> 00:12:38,626 I'm not going anywhere, Bon. 315 00:12:38,709 --> 00:12:39,709 Right. 316 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,668 Uh… 317 00:12:40,751 --> 00:12:42,168 Diane, I need to tell you something. 318 00:12:42,251 --> 00:12:43,334 Hello, Bonnie. 319 00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:47,501 Diane, Windy City Alive wants an interview with the both of us, now. 320 00:12:47,584 --> 00:12:49,418 So, pop an Altoid. Okay? Come on. 321 00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:52,418 -[exhales, sniffs] -Sorry, Bon. We'll catch up later. 322 00:12:53,793 --> 00:12:56,168 But I'm proud of you! Proud of us! 323 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:57,709 Hmm. 324 00:12:57,793 --> 00:12:59,543 Can I get a rosé on the side? 325 00:13:00,876 --> 00:13:04,459 We are here with Congeal, the stars of this year's Cosmecon. 326 00:13:04,543 --> 00:13:07,001 Always great to see a Chi-Town-born company! 327 00:13:07,084 --> 00:13:08,751 Well, Chicago may be where we began, 328 00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:10,793 but it is not where we're gonna end. 329 00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:13,251 We're goin' global, baby. [chuckles] 330 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,418 But we also want to stay local. 331 00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:17,626 Maybe in a couple years expand to the 'burbs. 332 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:20,793 Well, we're thinking a bit bigger than just the 'burbs. 333 00:13:20,876 --> 00:13:23,168 Sure. Maybe we hit lower Wisconsin. 334 00:13:23,251 --> 00:13:25,668 What she's trying to say is 335 00:13:25,751 --> 00:13:29,251 that Congeal transcends geography. 336 00:13:29,334 --> 00:13:31,543 Well, we need to "Beat It," 337 00:13:31,626 --> 00:13:36,293 but I will say, I tried a sample and I was one "Smooth Criminal." 338 00:13:36,876 --> 00:13:37,709 And cut. 339 00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:40,793 Lose the Michael Jackson thing. I have to stop doing that. 340 00:13:40,876 --> 00:13:43,293 What was that? We have to be on the same page. 341 00:13:43,376 --> 00:13:45,168 "Set 'em up, knock 'em down." Remember? 342 00:13:45,251 --> 00:13:47,793 May I remind you, you're not my boss anymore? 343 00:13:47,876 --> 00:13:49,376 This is a partnership. 344 00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:52,001 Yeah, well, one of us hasn't been doing their part. 345 00:13:52,084 --> 00:13:54,209 I mean, you don't even check your emails. 346 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:55,334 I don't know how! 347 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,293 And by the way, you're obsessed with emails. 348 00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:02,543 Okay, look, just remember to behave at the mixer tonight. Please? 349 00:14:02,626 --> 00:14:05,668 Relax, my whole life's a mixer. 350 00:14:05,751 --> 00:14:08,293 -Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. -Mm. 351 00:14:08,376 --> 00:14:12,001 Is this product supposed to make my lips numb? 352 00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:13,168 [phone ringing] 353 00:14:13,251 --> 00:14:15,209 -Hello? -Did you talk to your sister? 354 00:14:15,293 --> 00:14:17,501 Not yet, I haven't had the chance. 355 00:14:17,584 --> 00:14:19,501 -Can you speed up? She's crowning! -[cat growling] 356 00:14:19,584 --> 00:14:22,459 Well, you'd better do it soon because I can't do this much longer! 357 00:14:22,543 --> 00:14:24,626 I'll tell her tomorrow, okay? 358 00:14:24,709 --> 00:14:27,501 Okay, stop with the sexy voice! Just take care of it! 359 00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:31,251 Oh, it's happening! I can tell this is gonna be a violent birth! 360 00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:33,626 -Oh, good Jesus! -[cat growling] 361 00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:36,918 Two Old Styles, please. 362 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,376 We only have Stella Artois. 363 00:14:38,459 --> 00:14:41,751 Eh, bonjour, I don't speak French. 364 00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,293 -Ugh. -I'll take two. 365 00:14:43,376 --> 00:14:44,709 Are you okay? 366 00:14:44,793 --> 00:14:48,209 Oh, I'm fine. Gideon's the one who's all stressed out. 367 00:14:49,459 --> 00:14:52,501 Okay, maybe go one for one with water? 368 00:14:52,584 --> 00:14:54,418 Daniel, right? It's Caden. 369 00:14:54,501 --> 00:14:57,751 Yes! Oh my God. Thank you so much for bailing me out up there. 370 00:14:57,834 --> 00:14:59,501 [chuckling] No worries, man. 371 00:14:59,584 --> 00:15:02,709 Hey, we're hanging out over by the Evian facial mist tent. 372 00:15:02,793 --> 00:15:03,876 Do you wanna join us? 373 00:15:03,959 --> 00:15:08,084 Definitely! Would it be okay if I go over there and network for a bit? 374 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:10,293 Yeah, go and have some fun, honey. 375 00:15:12,418 --> 00:15:14,251 -Diane? -[coughs] 376 00:15:14,334 --> 00:15:17,251 Hey! This beer has alcohol in it! 377 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,251 Ooh. Who's this hottie boom body? 378 00:15:20,334 --> 00:15:23,543 This is Duane Reade, the CEO of Walgreens. 379 00:15:23,626 --> 00:15:26,126 Oh! You guys got the best sushi! 380 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:31,668 We were just discussing Walgreens' foray into more artisanal cosmetics. 381 00:15:31,751 --> 00:15:34,709 -We love products that have a story. -["Flashdance… What a Feeling" plays] 382 00:15:34,793 --> 00:15:36,918 -The distribution curve for a small-- -Oh, no way! 383 00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:39,043 The song from Dirty Dancing! 384 00:15:39,126 --> 00:15:40,126 Dirty Dancing? 385 00:15:40,209 --> 00:15:42,584 -Come on, Duane, let's go! -I-- 386 00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:45,168 I don't think they want anyone to dance, Diane! 387 00:15:45,251 --> 00:15:47,251 [girl] So, is this your first convention? 388 00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:51,209 [chuckles] Was it that obvious? I felt so out of place up there. 389 00:15:51,293 --> 00:15:52,459 Hey, you did great! 390 00:15:52,543 --> 00:15:55,084 Besides, you don't want to be like those people. 391 00:15:55,168 --> 00:15:58,126 I mean, 18 and already an entrepreneur? 392 00:15:58,209 --> 00:16:00,126 Mwah! Chef's kiss. 393 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:03,501 But sometimes I kinda feel like I missed out by not going to college. 394 00:16:03,584 --> 00:16:06,043 Oh, ew. You missed nothing. 395 00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:08,293 It was all, like, parties and drinking. 396 00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:10,168 Only thing I remember from college 397 00:16:10,251 --> 00:16:12,626 is coming home at 3:00 a.m. and making out with her. 398 00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:14,168 And with him. [chuckles] 399 00:16:14,251 --> 00:16:16,626 We all made out so much. 400 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,709 Ha, ha. Yeah, that sounds… lame. 401 00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:21,209 -[hissing] -[whimpers] 402 00:16:21,293 --> 00:16:24,084 Uh, I don't remember this part from the movie. 403 00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:25,876 What about this part? 404 00:16:25,959 --> 00:16:27,959 [Gideon] Not the lift. It's so dangerous! 405 00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:30,543 And it's from an entirely different movie! 406 00:16:30,626 --> 00:16:32,334 -[Duane] No! -♪ What a feeling ♪ 407 00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:33,293 -[yells] -No, no, no! 408 00:16:33,376 --> 00:16:34,209 [thud] 409 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,834 Oh, that was awful. 410 00:16:36,334 --> 00:16:38,459 -[groans] -[clamoring] 411 00:16:38,543 --> 00:16:41,126 Nobody puts Baby on the corner! 412 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,168 Ow… 413 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,584 That image of your vagina will haunt me to my grave! 414 00:16:45,668 --> 00:16:47,793 Relax, you sound like my dentist. 415 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,959 Diane, that was a disaster! 416 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,001 You're lucky we still have the Borough deal 417 00:16:52,084 --> 00:16:56,584 because at this rate, we're not gonna have any options after the presentation! 418 00:16:56,668 --> 00:16:58,168 Oh, I passed on that. 419 00:16:58,251 --> 00:16:59,293 What?! 420 00:16:59,376 --> 00:17:03,918 You said to be a partner, so I checked my email and did my part! 421 00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:07,043 You wet-brained fool! 422 00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,168 You said it was small potatoes! 423 00:17:09,251 --> 00:17:11,834 Yes, but they were the only potatoes we had! 424 00:17:11,918 --> 00:17:14,501 Now, we have no potatoes! 425 00:17:14,584 --> 00:17:17,376 Okay, all this potato talk has got me hungry. 426 00:17:17,459 --> 00:17:19,084 I'm gonna order some tots. 427 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:24,293 You know, I would be fine if the only life you ruined was your own, 428 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,043 but that's never the case, is it? 429 00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:29,876 You have to bring down everyone around you. 430 00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:33,459 Everybody. It's a sickness! You're sick! 431 00:17:33,543 --> 00:17:35,543 Hey! I don't need this bullshit! 432 00:17:35,626 --> 00:17:38,418 I was perfectly happy until you took my product 433 00:17:38,501 --> 00:17:40,459 and tried to make it something it's not. 434 00:17:40,543 --> 00:17:42,584 I'm not gonna let you do the same to me! 435 00:17:42,668 --> 00:17:44,334 You best be headed to your room 436 00:17:44,418 --> 00:17:47,084 because that presentation tomorrow is our last hope! 437 00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:50,793 And put on some goddamn underwear! 438 00:17:50,876 --> 00:17:53,376 Now, you sound like my eye doctor! 439 00:17:53,459 --> 00:17:54,834 [wind howling] 440 00:17:56,043 --> 00:17:56,959 [sighs] 441 00:17:59,251 --> 00:18:00,084 [blows] 442 00:18:00,168 --> 00:18:03,626 [gentle music playing] 443 00:18:37,668 --> 00:18:40,251 Daniel! Where the hell is Diane?! 444 00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:42,584 I don't know. I thought the plan was to meet here. 445 00:18:42,668 --> 00:18:44,584 No, I know the plan, I made the plan! 446 00:18:44,668 --> 00:18:46,793 Call her, she's not picking up for me. 447 00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:47,918 On it. 448 00:18:48,793 --> 00:18:50,543 [phone vibrates] 449 00:18:53,918 --> 00:18:55,001 You okay, lady? 450 00:18:55,084 --> 00:18:56,834 Ugh… 451 00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:58,626 Is this Heaven? 452 00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:01,001 Nope. It's Chicago. 453 00:19:01,084 --> 00:19:03,584 Holy cow! Barack Obama! 454 00:19:03,668 --> 00:19:05,459 Oh my God, I frickin' love you! 455 00:19:05,543 --> 00:19:07,793 I voted for you, like, six times! 456 00:19:07,876 --> 00:19:09,334 You're looking a little beat up. 457 00:19:09,418 --> 00:19:11,543 At first, I thought you were a wet fur coat. 458 00:19:11,626 --> 00:19:14,293 Yeah, I had a rough night. 459 00:19:14,376 --> 00:19:16,084 I can see. You want to talk about it? 460 00:19:17,584 --> 00:19:19,334 [whimpering] 461 00:19:19,418 --> 00:19:20,709 Okay. She's not in her room. 462 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,126 She's not at the omelette bar, she's not at the waffle bar. 463 00:19:23,209 --> 00:19:24,418 She's not at the bar bar! 464 00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:27,876 Oh, sweet Lord Jesus, this cannot be happening! 465 00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:31,126 I need her! She's the Penn to my Teller! 466 00:19:31,209 --> 00:19:32,876 Or maybe she's Teller, I don't know. 467 00:19:32,959 --> 00:19:34,751 Which one doesn't shut the fuck up? 468 00:19:34,834 --> 00:19:37,334 [Giuliana] We're gonna take a short break, but up next is Congeal! 469 00:19:37,418 --> 00:19:38,543 I'll check the bathroom! 470 00:19:38,626 --> 00:19:40,584 Women's and men's! 471 00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:42,209 Mm. 472 00:19:42,293 --> 00:19:44,793 Okay, Bonnie, prep any poses that accentuate your cellulite. 473 00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:45,751 Uh… 474 00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:47,459 Yeah, that's perfect. 475 00:19:50,293 --> 00:19:51,793 [phone ringing] 476 00:19:51,876 --> 00:19:52,709 Hello! 477 00:19:52,793 --> 00:19:55,001 Mark, I can't do this anymore. 478 00:19:55,084 --> 00:19:55,918 Me neither! 479 00:19:56,001 --> 00:19:59,626 Because my car was just stolen by a group of teenagers 480 00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:01,043 in Muncie, Indiana! 481 00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:02,376 [Bonnie] What? Are you okay? 482 00:20:02,459 --> 00:20:04,001 No, I am not! 483 00:20:04,084 --> 00:20:04,918 [sighs] 484 00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:07,168 It's over. Put the condo on the market. 485 00:20:07,251 --> 00:20:08,751 Already did! I love you! 486 00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:09,751 [sighs] 487 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,501 Hey, cellulite, we're ready for you. 488 00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:13,459 Oh, fuck off. I quit! 489 00:20:15,043 --> 00:20:16,209 [solemn music playing] 490 00:20:16,293 --> 00:20:19,459 And then he tells me we're not gonna be in Chicago anymore. 491 00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:22,293 I mean, who in their right mind would leave this place? 492 00:20:22,376 --> 00:20:23,584 Well, I did. 493 00:20:23,668 --> 00:20:27,001 Yeah, but that's different. You had to for your career. 494 00:20:27,084 --> 00:20:28,084 So… 495 00:20:28,168 --> 00:20:29,459 Oh! 496 00:20:29,543 --> 00:20:32,334 Okay, you walked me into that one. 497 00:20:32,418 --> 00:20:35,293 Diane, you just have to remember that change is a part of life, 498 00:20:35,376 --> 00:20:38,293 and embracing that change doesn't mean you're not being yourself. 499 00:20:38,376 --> 00:20:41,584 Whoa! I wish you could give this presentation! 500 00:20:41,668 --> 00:20:44,126 Not happening. Speaking of which, when does that start? 501 00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:45,418 Not until, like, 11:00. 502 00:20:45,501 --> 00:20:47,084 Well, it's 10:55. 503 00:20:47,168 --> 00:20:48,918 Ah, shit! I gotta go! 504 00:20:49,584 --> 00:20:51,668 Hey, is there any way I can get a ride? 505 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,709 Yes. You. Can. 506 00:20:53,793 --> 00:20:55,293 Thanks, Obama. 507 00:20:55,376 --> 00:20:56,543 Shotgun! 508 00:20:56,626 --> 00:20:58,418 -Freeze! -Get on the ground! 509 00:20:58,918 --> 00:21:04,084 When I saw these two on Smelt Tank, I knew I had netted a winner. [chuckles] 510 00:21:04,168 --> 00:21:08,793 Chicago Cosmecon, please welcome to the stage, Congeal! 511 00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:11,001 -[man 1] Yes, alright! -[man 2] Woo-hoo! 512 00:21:11,084 --> 00:21:12,251 [crowd cheering] 513 00:21:12,334 --> 00:21:17,293 Hello! Who's ready to freakin' party while… also moisturizing? 514 00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:18,834 [crowd muttering] 515 00:21:18,918 --> 00:21:19,918 Okay then. 516 00:21:20,001 --> 00:21:22,084 My name is Gideon Duchamp. 517 00:21:22,168 --> 00:21:24,001 Or as Pac-Man would say, 518 00:21:24,084 --> 00:21:27,126 Gideon Duchamp-champ-champ-champ. [chuckles] 519 00:21:27,209 --> 00:21:29,251 [silence] 520 00:21:29,334 --> 00:21:31,168 Actually, it was Ms. Pac-Man. 521 00:21:31,251 --> 00:21:32,626 Does that help the joke? 522 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,668 -[audience groans] -[man] Come on. 523 00:21:36,459 --> 00:21:39,543 Don't faint, don't you fucking faint! 524 00:21:39,626 --> 00:21:40,626 [sighs] 525 00:21:40,709 --> 00:21:43,001 Hello, Cosmecon! 526 00:21:43,084 --> 00:21:44,251 -Thank God! -[crowd cheering] 527 00:21:44,334 --> 00:21:48,876 Who's ready to frickin' party while moisturizing? 528 00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:51,251 Come on, everyone on your feet! 529 00:21:51,334 --> 00:21:53,584 -[dance music playing] -Ta-da-da-da! 530 00:21:53,668 --> 00:21:56,334 Talking to you, mustache. Ta-da-da-da! 531 00:21:56,418 --> 00:21:57,751 On your feet, glasses! 532 00:21:58,251 --> 00:22:00,293 Ta-da-da-da-da! 533 00:22:00,376 --> 00:22:01,876 Y'all ready for Congeal? 534 00:22:01,959 --> 00:22:04,043 That's what I'm talkin' about. 535 00:22:04,126 --> 00:22:05,793 -Okay, let's get real. -[crowd cheering] 536 00:22:05,876 --> 00:22:09,418 I started making lotion as a way to give gifts to the people I care about 537 00:22:09,501 --> 00:22:11,043 while also being super cheap. 538 00:22:11,126 --> 00:22:12,793 And while a lot has changed, 539 00:22:12,876 --> 00:22:16,834 one thing that hasn't is the love that goes into this product. 540 00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:19,876 -And thanks to this sweet man right here… -[chuckles softly] 541 00:22:19,959 --> 00:22:23,376 …who dreamed big and pushed me out of my comfort zone, 542 00:22:23,459 --> 00:22:25,709 we have a killer business plan 543 00:22:25,793 --> 00:22:28,793 and both of us are ready to take this to the next level. 544 00:22:28,876 --> 00:22:31,001 Gid, take it away, baby. 545 00:22:31,084 --> 00:22:32,418 Thank you, Diane. 546 00:22:32,501 --> 00:22:33,834 As my partner pointed out, 547 00:22:33,918 --> 00:22:37,084 our journey is just as impressive as our product. 548 00:22:37,168 --> 00:22:38,709 Our projection is the future… 549 00:22:38,793 --> 00:22:42,251 -In conclusion, Congeal frickin' rocks! -[crowd cheering] 550 00:22:42,334 --> 00:22:47,584 And we hope our presentation has given you a big lift! 551 00:22:47,668 --> 00:22:51,126 Diane, no! Not the lift from Dirty Dancing again! 552 00:22:51,209 --> 00:22:53,709 -I'm wearing underwear! -["Flashdance… What a Feeling" plays] 553 00:22:53,793 --> 00:22:55,251 This song is literally called 554 00:22:55,334 --> 00:22:57,751 "Flashdance," parentheses, "What a Feeling." 555 00:22:58,584 --> 00:22:59,709 No-- 556 00:22:59,793 --> 00:23:02,959 -Whoo-hoo! -Whoa! 557 00:23:03,043 --> 00:23:06,084 JK, I'm not wearing underwear. 558 00:23:06,168 --> 00:23:08,793 Whoo! Diane, child, you is nasty! 559 00:23:08,876 --> 00:23:11,293 And I am here for it, honey! 560 00:23:11,376 --> 00:23:13,334 [laughing] 561 00:23:13,418 --> 00:23:15,668 -[laughing] -[crowd cheering] 562 00:23:15,751 --> 00:23:18,501 I gotta say, that was incredible! 563 00:23:18,584 --> 00:23:19,834 Really blew me away! 564 00:23:19,918 --> 00:23:21,543 Does this mean we have a deal? 565 00:23:21,626 --> 00:23:23,084 -Yeah, that's a no. -What? 566 00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,334 -Why? -It came down to numbers. 567 00:23:25,418 --> 00:23:28,626 It's not cost-effective to have Congeal in a large retail space. 568 00:23:28,709 --> 00:23:32,001 But great job! You two nailed that lift! 569 00:23:33,251 --> 00:23:34,834 I'm so sorry, Gid. 570 00:23:34,918 --> 00:23:36,668 No, Diane, I'm sorry. 571 00:23:36,751 --> 00:23:41,043 The line between boss and bossy can get really blurred sometimes. 572 00:23:41,126 --> 00:23:42,834 Should we do a sad hug? 573 00:23:42,918 --> 00:23:45,126 Oh, most definitely, bitch. 574 00:23:45,209 --> 00:23:46,251 Mm! 575 00:23:46,334 --> 00:23:48,334 Hey! Check your email! 576 00:23:48,418 --> 00:23:49,751 -[panting] -Bird got my phone. 577 00:23:49,834 --> 00:23:50,751 It's from Borough! 578 00:23:50,834 --> 00:23:52,918 They said they appreciate the hardball approach 579 00:23:53,001 --> 00:23:55,168 and they want to double their offer! 580 00:23:55,251 --> 00:23:59,334 [gasps] Are you telling me we just sold our company for a shit ton of money? 581 00:23:59,418 --> 00:24:00,959 You know what this means! 582 00:24:01,043 --> 00:24:03,084 [both] Let's frickin' party! 583 00:24:03,168 --> 00:24:04,834 Hey, that's my line! 584 00:24:04,918 --> 00:24:06,834 [all laughing] 585 00:24:06,918 --> 00:24:08,751 [hard rock music playing] 586 00:24:08,834 --> 00:24:10,834 I'm so happy for you, Miss Dunbrowski! 587 00:24:10,918 --> 00:24:14,793 Hey, you call me Diane. Or Mom. 588 00:24:14,876 --> 00:24:16,376 We're real proud of you, Ma. 589 00:24:16,459 --> 00:24:19,126 Thank you, guys. I love you all. 590 00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:20,459 Even you, Kurt. 591 00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,876 You never cease to amaze me, Di. 592 00:24:22,959 --> 00:24:23,876 [kisses] 593 00:24:23,959 --> 00:24:25,668 My other family! 594 00:24:25,751 --> 00:24:29,418 I am gonna cut hair next to you three until the day I fuckin' die. 595 00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:30,709 Which won't be for a while 596 00:24:30,793 --> 00:24:32,918 because now I can afford fruits and vegetables. 597 00:24:33,001 --> 00:24:35,043 Appletinis don't count as fruit. 598 00:24:35,126 --> 00:24:36,459 But vodka is potato. 599 00:24:37,126 --> 00:24:38,793 Thank you, Carl. Phew! 600 00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:40,293 Thank God, we have a buyer. 601 00:24:40,376 --> 00:24:42,459 -He's emailing the paperwork now. -[sighs] 602 00:24:42,543 --> 00:24:44,793 Okay. I'm just gonna tell her. 603 00:24:44,876 --> 00:24:46,543 [breathes deeply] 604 00:24:47,793 --> 00:24:51,251 Well, if it isn't my favorite sister and her first husband. 605 00:24:51,334 --> 00:24:54,584 -"First husband"? -Diane, this is so amazing. 606 00:24:54,668 --> 00:24:56,168 And I am really proud of you. 607 00:24:56,251 --> 00:24:57,084 Aww. 608 00:24:57,168 --> 00:25:01,209 I know this is bad timing, but we had to make a tough decision and… 609 00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:02,126 [exhales] 610 00:25:02,209 --> 00:25:04,834 I'm so sorry, but we need to sell the condo. 611 00:25:05,334 --> 00:25:06,709 You snakes! 612 00:25:06,793 --> 00:25:08,418 You're doing this to me again?! 613 00:25:08,501 --> 00:25:12,501 Diane, please. We would never do this if there were any other options. 614 00:25:12,584 --> 00:25:14,501 How soon before I'm out on my ass? 615 00:25:14,584 --> 00:25:16,459 Well, we actually just got a buyer. 616 00:25:16,543 --> 00:25:18,293 Who is it? I want a name! 617 00:25:18,376 --> 00:25:21,709 Uh, it was sold to a… Tits McGee? 618 00:25:22,334 --> 00:25:24,043 [cackling] 619 00:25:24,126 --> 00:25:27,626 It's me, you assholes! I bought the condo! 620 00:25:27,709 --> 00:25:28,793 Wait, what? 621 00:25:28,876 --> 00:25:32,876 The Borough deal was just enough for me to pay you guys what you were asking. 622 00:25:32,959 --> 00:25:36,709 Wow! Well, congrats, homeowner! 623 00:25:36,793 --> 00:25:38,543 I have to tell you guys something. 624 00:25:38,626 --> 00:25:41,418 This gap year was the best decision I ever made. 625 00:25:41,501 --> 00:25:43,918 Aunt Diane, I love living with you! 626 00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:45,293 Back at ya, kiddo. 627 00:25:45,376 --> 00:25:48,584 But I really need to find some friends my own age. 628 00:25:48,668 --> 00:25:51,001 So, I'm going to college! 629 00:25:51,084 --> 00:25:53,668 Traitor! I made you, ya little shit! 630 00:25:53,751 --> 00:25:57,126 Relax, I'm going to DePaul, it's 11 blocks away. 631 00:25:57,209 --> 00:25:58,459 I'm still living with you. 632 00:25:58,543 --> 00:26:00,459 Whoo-hoo! 633 00:26:00,543 --> 00:26:02,084 Did you hear, Mom and Dad? 634 00:26:02,168 --> 00:26:04,043 We're going back to college! 635 00:26:04,126 --> 00:26:06,209 Well, not "we," I am. 636 00:26:06,293 --> 00:26:08,334 And you guys can relax too. 637 00:26:08,418 --> 00:26:11,793 I'm using my money from the buyout to cover my first year of tuition. 638 00:26:11,876 --> 00:26:14,334 Ah! Thank you! I can't be a Postmate. 639 00:26:14,418 --> 00:26:16,751 Even the smell of spicy food gives me heartburn. 640 00:26:16,834 --> 00:26:18,293 Attention, everyone! 641 00:26:18,376 --> 00:26:20,959 I'd like to make a toast to the Congeal team. 642 00:26:21,043 --> 00:26:22,084 We did it! 643 00:26:22,168 --> 00:26:24,293 -[cheering] -Congratulations, Congeal! 644 00:26:24,376 --> 00:26:26,293 Where are the other Bulls? 645 00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:29,084 And thanks to all of you for being you. 646 00:26:29,168 --> 00:26:32,834 Because you being you is what makes me be me. 647 00:26:32,918 --> 00:26:35,084 Now, let's frickin' party! 648 00:26:35,168 --> 00:26:37,751 [all cheering] 649 00:26:37,834 --> 00:26:39,543 [electricity sizzles] 650 00:26:39,626 --> 00:26:40,876 [power dies down] 651 00:26:40,959 --> 00:26:42,501 [Diane] Okay, nobody panic! 652 00:26:42,584 --> 00:26:44,501 Everyone, grab a glow stick! 653 00:26:44,584 --> 00:26:46,709 -[Tina] Already on it! -[Bonnie] Yay! 654 00:26:46,793 --> 00:26:48,584 [Diane] That's what I'm talkin' about! 655 00:26:48,668 --> 00:26:51,709 The party never stops when you're with Diane! 656 00:26:51,793 --> 00:26:54,293 All I'm sayin' is, prove me wrong. 657 00:26:54,376 --> 00:26:56,251 Tell me I'm wrong! 658 00:26:56,334 --> 00:26:58,959 ["Nothin' But a Good Time" by Poison playing] 659 00:27:00,334 --> 00:27:04,459 ♪ Don't need nothin' but a good time ♪ 660 00:27:04,543 --> 00:27:07,293 ♪ How can I resist ♪ 661 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:11,376 ♪ Ain't lookin' for nothin' But a good time ♪ 662 00:27:11,459 --> 00:27:15,084 ♪ And it don't get better than this ♪ 663 00:27:17,001 --> 00:27:21,209 ♪ They say I spend my money On women and wine ♪ 664 00:27:21,293 --> 00:27:24,584 ♪ But I couldn't tell you Where I spent last night ♪ 665 00:27:25,334 --> 00:27:28,168 ♪ I'm really sorry About the shape I'm in ♪ 666 00:27:28,251 --> 00:27:31,959 ♪ I just like my fun every now and then ♪ 667 00:27:32,043 --> 00:27:35,959 ♪ I'm always workin', slavin' every day ♪ 668 00:27:36,043 --> 00:27:40,084 ♪ Gotta get away From that same old, same old ♪ 669 00:27:40,168 --> 00:27:42,959 ♪ I need a chance just to get away… ♪