1
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,522
Okay, okay.

2
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:28,232
Okay. Oh, my God!

3
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,234
Babe, it’s cute.
It’s fine.

4
00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:34,154
The ones that people
mess up in are the ones
that get the most likes.

5
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,156
Hmm...

6
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,493
My publicist does say
I should portray myself

7
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,704
being in
a loving relationship.

8
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:44,665
Oh. Oh.

9
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:47,042
Well, hi, I’m Andrew.

10
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,836
And I can confirm officially

11
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,797
that Nico is
in a loving relationship.

12
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,258
Ever since I joined
his show as a stuntman

13
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,135
on<i> Hampton’s Bay...</i>

14
00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,053
...this boy has been
obsessed with me.

15
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,515
You got a text.

16
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,104
Kind of sexual.
Andrew.

17
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,692
Very sexual.
No, give me back
my phone.

18
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,278
Explicitly sexual.
Okay. Why are you
reading my texts?

19
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:17,489
I was just-- No, no,
why are you getting sexts
from random dudes?

20
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:21,535
I can’t control who texts me.
I’m a celebrity.

21
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,079
No, no, not this again.
Besides, we’re not even
social media official.

22
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,373
Okay? Yet.

23
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,585
Nico, we agreed
to be exclusive.

24
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,797
It’s a dick pic, isn’t it?

25
00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:38,510
The man got a dick pic
right there.

26
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,471
He tried to say it was nothing,
just some random fan.

27
00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:43,724
Liar!
Did he do the thing?
What thing?

28
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:47,269
Like when he lied about sleeping
with Veronica’s sister while
she was homeless with amnesia.

29
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:51,857
I still can’t believe that
you watch<i> Hampton’s Bay.</i>
All five seasons.

30
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,485
What happened to your job?
I thought you had
that toilet paper ad.

31
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:56,487
I’m an award-winning
graphic designer.

32
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,573
I’m not gonna waste my talent
on bears who shit themselves.

33
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,409
I don’t think that’s--
I’m selective about
the jobs that I take.

34
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:03,994
Okay. Privilege.

35
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,165
No, I... just plateaued.

36
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,626
And to be honest,
no one will hire me.

37
00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:14,505
Here. Check that out.

38
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,508
This is when Nico lies.

39
00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:19,301
His chin goes up
and to the right.

40
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,553
<i> And the reason</i>
<i> I know that</i>

41
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,390
<i> is because we had chowder</i>

42
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,808
<i> in Amagansett.</i>

43
00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,227
Did he do it?

44
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,819
It’s a dick pic, isn’t it?

45
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:40,280
I swear.
It’s not a dick pic.

46
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:44,284
Where are you going?

47
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,453
I, uh, gotta go
meet my trainer.

48
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,297
Did you just...

49
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,799
No.

50
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,727
I knew it. So,<i> ¿no más?</i>

51
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:13,272
<i> No más.</i>
I’ve got
ten minutes.

52
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,691
Catch me up.
We are officially on
breakup<i> número</i> nine.

53
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,902
Ooh! Well, let’s hope
it sticks this time.

54
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:21,030
Nico is like one
of those Dementors.

55
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,906
You know,
like from Harry Potter?

56
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,908
They suck the soul
out of people
through their faces.

57
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,369
- Except Nico does it
through your dick.

58
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,789
He is really good at that.
Because he practices
with other people.

59
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:34,168
Ow! Oh! Oh, so you do
respect yourself. Okay.

60
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,129
Then don’t let Nico
disrespect you
by going back again.

61
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:38,756
I’m not going back.
Mmm.

62
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,425
Mm-hmm. You say that.
But yet
you keep going back.

63
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:45,637
You do realize
that’s the definition
of insanity, right?

64
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,806
Wait. You already wrote
number ten?

65
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,808
Because if you get
to number ten,

66
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,769
I’m gonna have to unleash
the nuclear option.

67
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:54,104
- What does that even mean?
- Oh, it’s top secret.

68
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,690
- He’s been prepping for months.
- All you need to know is,

69
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,610
ever since the second grade,
I’ve only ever wanted
the best for you.

70
00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:03,739
Mm-hmm.
Okay? You’re smart.
You’re generous.

71
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:07,117
You literally kick ass
at your kick-ass job.

72
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,079
Stuntman and sexy
self-defense instructor.

73
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:11,789
You deserve someone real.

74
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,583
I don’t want to have to
save you from yourself.

75
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,710
But I will,
because I’m your best friend.

76
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,504
But I need you
to help me help you.

77
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,506
- I want you to say it out loud.

78
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:23,342
Manifest it. "No more Nico."
Mm-hmm.

79
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:25,594
"No more Nico."
Say it, Drew.

80
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,764
I’m not going back.

81
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:31,558
No. The words.

82
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,144
Say it out loud.
"No more Nico!"

83
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,772
Those words.
"No more Nico!"

84
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:39,233
- I just-- I’m not yelling it.
- Don’t make me do it.

85
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,818
He’s gonna do it.
Do what? Don’t.

86
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,111
Okay.
Don’t--

87
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,821
Oh, my God.
No more Nico!

88
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:47,074
No more Nico! No more Nico!

89
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,118
No more Nico! No more Nico!

90
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,411
Shut your mouth!
Yeah!

91
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,372
Ooh, you in trouble!

92
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:55,916
- No more Nico.
- Yeah.

93
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,802
No more Nico.

94
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:26,530
- Cut.

95
00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:28,824
Stunties, on your way.

96
00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,075
Hey.

97
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:34,621
Go to the right. Yeah.

98
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,332
- Andrew.
- Mm-mmm.

99
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,359
<i> I know</i>
<i>you’ve been avoiding me.</i>

100
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:08,488
<i>But listen,</i>
<i>today is the anniversary</i>
<i>of when we first met on set.</i>

101
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,616
<i>We always wanted to hit</i>
<i>that one-year mark together.</i>

102
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,118
<i>And I was thinking,</i>
<i>I don’t know,</i>

103
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:16,830
<i>maybe we can still celebrate?</i>

104
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,675
Ah!

105
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:35,140
Thought I was meeting you
at your...

106
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,394
I figured you’d be
getting weak around now.

107
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,481
Kelly worked a double shift,
and I’m still unemployed,

108
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:44,858
so I’m all yours,
all night.

109
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,652
I don’t need
a babysitter, Jake.

110
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,488
Oh, yeah? You weren’t just
getting ready to go out?

111
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,075
No. No, no, I was...

112
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,327
I’m so tired. I was just
getting ready for bed.

113
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,996
Doubtful. I can smell
the Old Spice from here.

114
00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,831
I always smell like this.

115
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,084
You do not.

116
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,837
Riddle me this, Drew.
If I were to look
at your phone right now,

117
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,632
would I find a text
from Nico, to Nico,

118
00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,843
you stalking his Insta,
Twitter, Pinterest?

119
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,011
What? No.
Give me that!

120
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,638
What? This is--

121
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:15,722
Hey.
You are fast.

122
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,724
Here, be my guest.

123
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,477
Checking my accounts,
making sure my finances
are all good,

124
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:21,812
’cause I’m an entrepreneur.

125
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,652
I may need you to pass me
some of that cheddar soon.

126
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:31,697
Or you can go get a job.
You can come work
at the gym with me.

127
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:33,907
Funny.

128
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:39,663
So, what are we doing?

129
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,666
Your neighbor
has a roof deck? Cool.

130
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,966
Mr. Jiang, my friend’s really
obsessed with your chess set.
Could we use that?

131
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,641
Now, this is what
I’m talking about.

132
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,936
Chess is a game
for gentlemen.

133
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,563
A game for thinkers.

134
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,273
This is where I crush.

135
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,985
Yes. I think
you will crush, bro.

136
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:15,824
Because you’re the best.
You absolutely cannot
be beat by...

137
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,410
Oh! Mr. Jiang.

138
00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:22,456
Um, my friend Jake and I were
just gonna play a little game.

139
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,418
He’s a self-proclaimed master.
Not like you, an actual master.

140
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:30,130
Whoa, shit.
What if y’all played?

141
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,257
I agree.

142
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,582
Happy anniversary,
gorgeous.

143
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,919
I-- It’s nice, but I...

144
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,428
You know I missed you.

145
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:45,539
Please, be quiet.

146
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,207
I’m trying to concentrate.

147
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,042
Sorry.

148
00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:53,422
Wait a minute.
Have you been there
the whole time?

149
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:57,426
Yeah. Where else
would I be?

150
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,721
I saw Nico.

151
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:05,308
But before you judge,
he’s being way more considerate.
Mmm.

152
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,519
Got me this watch
for our anniversary.

153
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,772
That is a cast gift.
All the leads got one.

154
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,233
This is a regift?

155
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,194
The exact same thing
happened to me.

156
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,656
I used to be married
to hot garbage.

157
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:24,578
Once, I walked in on him
banging one of those
Japanese sex robots

158
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:25,912
while my sister watched.

159
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,747
Oh. Oh, okay.

160
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,375
- Different than my story.

161
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:35,464
Point is,
you never heard me at work
bitching about it.

162
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,049
- Did you?
- No, never heard that one.

163
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,593
Exactly.

164
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,970
Because I dealt with it.

165
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,848
And I moved on.

166
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,766
You sure?

167
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:50,228
I turned my story into a script,
and we start prepro in January.

168
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,731
My wife is producing it,
my sweet Rhonda.

169
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:55,817
Whoa.
And she might do
the catering.

170
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:59,404
So my advice is,
don’t get lost in the bullshit.

171
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,366
You still wanna be
lead fight choreographer,
right?

172
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,120
More than anything.

173
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,373
Then focus on the job.

174
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,793
Oi, stunties.
Cut the chitchat, all right?

175
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,046
Let’s shoot this.
I’m not getting any younger.

176
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,632
Quiet on the set!
We’re ready to roll!

177
00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:23,136
<i> Hampton Bay,</i>
scene 98-B, take 15.

178
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,346
Action!

179
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,271
Shit.

180
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,778
Are you kidding me, Nico?
And Troy?

181
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,739
Yo.

182
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,953
Let’s go out. I need
to see what’s out there.
Like "out" out?

183
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:52,707
Yes! I have 18 hours off
and I haven’t worn
sexy underwear in weeks.

184
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,834
Sexy underwear?
Oh, hell yeah!

185
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,461
Let’s go suck some dicks!

186
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:58,505
Really?

187
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,799
Just little-- little--
little dicks.

188
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,801
No. I mean,
just a little dick.

189
00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,719
Specifically little?
A little bit of dick.

190
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,721
Not like a tiny--
Never mind.

191
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,061
Ooh! There’s a bear!

192
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:17,774
Twink! Twink!

193
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,736
Daddy. Twelve o’clock.

194
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,407
And an otter too!

195
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:31,329
I think, um-- I think
I need to go somewhere
a little more low-key.

196
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:32,539
What?

197
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:41,214
Party people!
Let’s get this place bumping!

198
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,801
Perfect, right?

199
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,220
Okay.

200
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,558
Yeah, you go, girl!
Baby. Baby.

201
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,268
Baby.
Baby, let’s go.
What? Aw!

202
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,565
Thanks.
Thank you.

203
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:02,694
Maybe I’m making
too big of a deal out of
this whole monogamous thing.

204
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,654
Cheers.
Cheers.

205
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,239
He wants to be open.
It’s not that wrong.

206
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,742
No. But it’s what he wants.

207
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,327
For you,
monogamy’s important.

208
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,370
It’s kind of bullshit
that he’s forcing you

209
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,247
into a situation that
you don’t want to be in.

210
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,834
Yeah. He’s the first person
I’ve ever been in love with.

211
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,545
You know, it’s really hard
to just let him go.

212
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,256
It’s not easy to find
a boyfriend in New York.
Mm-hmm.

213
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,800
Nico, he’s handsome.
He’s got his life together.

214
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,928
He’s driven and focused
and successful.

215
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,514
And I, like,
don’t know why he chose me.

216
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,558
Okay.
I’m lucky. You know?

217
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:36,019
Andrew, you need
to get it in your head

218
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:39,314
that you are the catch,
not him. Okay?

219
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:42,067
- Get ready.
- Hey. For what?

220
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,986
I signed us up for
a dating app-- as a couple
looking for a third.

221
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,822
- Why would you do that?
- Yes, why?

222
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,658
Because we do
everything together.

223
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:51,743
- Oh...

224
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,161
So, when we find
somebody cool,

225
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:54,746
I’m just gonna tell them
we broke up

226
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,790
and pass the account
along to you-- bam!

227
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,792
And since I didn’t want
to limit our search results,

228
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,461
I signed us up for Scruff,
Grindr, Bro, Bone, Jack’d,

229
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,463
Growlr, Grizzly
and Farmers Only,

230
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,549
- since I know you
like them grass-fed.
- Ooh. Vegans.

231
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,927
Oh! We got a hit.

232
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,221
Oh.
He’s 15 feet away.

233
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,348
That’s him.

234
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,519
Act natural.
More natural.
Right.

235
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:21,398
No, I don’t care about
your lottery winnings
or your huge, smooth cock!

236
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,400
Can we go, please?
Yes.

237
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,076
Hey.

238
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,662
Hi.
Got the moves.

239
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,706
Yeah. I’m Leo.

240
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,294
Can I buy you a drink?

241
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,672
Are you trying
to get me drunk?
No, I--

242
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:48,383
I’m just kidding.
Uh, exsqueeze me?

243
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,719
Vieux Carré,
double lemon twist.

244
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,887
Thank you.

245
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,642
How’s your night?
It’s going.

246
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:03,314
Ew. Carbs.

247
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,325
- Can I say something?
- Yeah. Yeah, please.

248
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,952
You need to be
more honest.

249
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,079
- About what?
- Your profile pic.

250
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,665
Oh, my friend made that.

251
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:23,293
It’s not a dealbreaker.
You’re cute, so I’ll stay.

252
00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:28,006
But take the picture down
before you trick
somebody else, yeah?

253
00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:35,013
I see what you mean now.

254
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:37,599
If you want to keep using
Bone, Jack’d, Scruff,

255
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,309
and especially Grindr,

256
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,603
don’t partner again
with a bi guy.

257
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,313
It’s a total turnoff.
Ugh.

258
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,315
I will be deleting
all my accounts.

259
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,733
Good idea.

260
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,944
Uh, can I say something?

261
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,155
If I said no,
would that stop you?

262
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:55,283
That shirt’s
really inappropriate.
Unicorns are fake.

263
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,577
God is real. Believe.

264
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,789
I believe.

265
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,752
How’s your drink?

266
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,129
Why? Did you put
something in it?

267
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,632
- No. God, no.
- Leave God out of this.

268
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,550
- Did you roofie me?
- No.

269
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,260
This guy tried
to roofie me!

270
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,971
No, I did not roofie anyone.
Coming through.

271
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,681
Then finish it yourself,
asshole.

272
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:21,017
Yo. Whoa.

273
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,728
Oh! What is happening?

274
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:26,189
- Oh!
- This creep just threw
a drink at me

275
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,941
because I wouldn’t
let him drug me!

276
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,109
Come on, Leo.
Time to go.

277
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,696
Come on.
Here, right there
and let’s go.

278
00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:37,450
No, he’s lying, Clint!
Yeah, you wish.
See you next week.

279
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:38,910
Hey.

280
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,912
Whoa, he winked at me.

281
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:44,249
Right this way.
Yeah.

282
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,255
Man, where’d that guy
come from, right?

283
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,714
I’m from Winnipeg.

284
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,427
Thanks. So, how long
you been in New York?

285
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,764
Winnipeg. In Canada.

286
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:10,316
Winnipeg. Winnipeg.

287
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,026
Winnipeg.

288
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,953
Clint wants it.

289
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,164
Yeah. All right.

290
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,459
Yeah? Where do you want it?

291
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,463
It.

292
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:35,758
I want it.

293
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:41,681
Okay. I think, um--
I think I just
need a minute.

294
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,691
Give me one second.

295
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,861
He saw Nico kiss a guy,
and I was like,

296
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,654
"Why do you care?
You two are broken up, right?"

297
00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,406
Super shady.

298
00:19:58,573 --> 00:19:59,991
Do you already think
we’re on strike ten?

299
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,784
No way of proving it.

300
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,537
Thank you, Doctor.
Mm-hmm.

301
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,165
Maybe he just needs
to bang Nico
out of his system.

302
00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:09,208
Yeah.
Think they’re
having sex already?

303
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,544
Oh, no.
He’s doing a pep talk.

304
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:18,760
You can do this.

305
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:22,055
You can have sex
with someone other than Nico.

306
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,557
He’s doing it all the time.
You can do it once.

307
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,726
You-- Yeah.

308
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,478
You can do that.
You can do it.

309
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:33,066
- Yo.
- Hey, baby boy.
You having sex?

310
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,943
No. Why would I answer the phone
if I was having sex?

311
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,445
- Because it’s me?
- No. No, I’m in the bathroom.

312
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:40,406
- I’m trying to motivate.

313
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,867
What’s there to motivate?
Just get in there
and beat it up.

314
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,744
He talks like a caveman.

315
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,497
He’s Canadian, Andrew.
Just get in there
and beat it up.

316
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:49,207
Why would I beat him up?

317
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,417
Beat it up,
you dumb bastard.

318
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:52,961
- His butt.

319
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,629
Maybe he’s gonna
beat up my butt, huh?

320
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,047
Maybe that’s what I prefer.

321
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:06,307
Let him
beat that ass, Drew.
Batter up.

322
00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:09,227
Yeah, I’m hanging up now.
Hanging up. Bye.

323
00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:24,117
Got it!
Ooh!

324
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,035
Yummy!

325
00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:28,496
This is fun.
It’s like a stakeout.

326
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:36,087
Uh, hello?

327
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,716
Whoa! Hey.

328
00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:41,718
- Clint likes to tussle.
- Oh!

329
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:44,262
Oh, no. No, no.
You just misheard.

330
00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:45,847
The walls are super thin.

331
00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:48,349
That’s not-- Whoa! Shit!

332
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:52,395
- Canada going hard!
- Yeah, he is.

333
00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:55,314
Yeah, rough. That’s what
I’m talking about.

334
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,233
Oh, man...

335
00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,153
We made love happen.

336
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,904
Damn right, we did.

337
00:22:06,409 --> 00:22:08,244
No...
Now we’re gonna tussle.

338
00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:09,579
We can relax, right?

339
00:22:09,746 --> 00:22:11,330
I don’t think so.
Let’s tussle.

340
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,837
Oh, my hammy.

341
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:20,339
I’m sorry.
You wanted to tussle.

342
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:23,384
Around 8:00
in the morning
Okay?

343
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,803
Yeah, you can pick me up
in the morning, Charlie.

344
00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:34,353
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no, baby.
No, let’s just--

345
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,481
No, no, baby.
Baby, look.

346
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:41,110
What’s going on?
Are they having a threesome?

347
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:43,321
We should have a threesome!
What? No!

348
00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:44,572
Yeah!
Look who it is.

349
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:48,701
Hey. Oh.

350
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:50,203
No, no, sweetheart.

351
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:53,998
Okay. That’s it.

352
00:22:54,165 --> 00:22:56,542
Andrew can no longer
contain himself.

353
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:57,710
We have to step in.
Mm-hmm.

354
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,712
This is DEFCON 1.

355
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,090
It’s time.

356
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:03,508
It’s time to release...

357
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:05,176
The kraken.

358
00:23:06,344 --> 00:23:07,386
No.

359
00:23:09,097 --> 00:23:11,641
The nuclear option.
Ah.

360
00:23:18,272 --> 00:23:19,524
Hey.

361
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:47,718
Is that my phone, babe?

362
00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:50,012
I think the question is,

363
00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:51,889
who the hell is this?

364
00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,605
Jake, I think he saw it.

365
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,107
What the hell
did you do?

366
00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:03,317
What we should have done
five breakups ago.

367
00:24:03,484 --> 00:24:05,111
We staged an intervention.

368
00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:07,113
We know about Nico
coming over for sloppy seconds.

369
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,656
Did you spy on me?

370
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:14,871
We pull up outside
of your house
at 11:37 p.m.

371
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:18,124
At 11:39,
your pre-coitus lamp
turns on.

372
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:21,752
So, at 11:43 we give you
the "beat it up" pep talk.

373
00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:24,297
And then we wait
to see what happens.
What happened, baby?

374
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,257
Nico shows up.

375
00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:29,427
Your Dementor arriving
for his conjugal visit.

376
00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:33,681
Okay. So, what, your whole big
plan was just to post a photo
of me with a random guy?

377
00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:36,601
- No, no. We went nuclear.
- Uh-huh.

378
00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:40,688
Because the hamster wheel
of your addiction to Nico
has to be destroyed.

379
00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:43,608
We would like you
to meet someone. Come.

380
00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:49,989
Without further ado,
please say hello
to your new boyfriend.

381
00:24:53,451 --> 00:24:57,246
You are now dating across
all social media platforms.
What?

382
00:24:57,413 --> 00:25:00,958
Jake posted photos of you two
together, so it’s official.

383
00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:04,879
What? Nico saw these.
He’s pissed. He’s furious.

384
00:25:05,046 --> 00:25:07,465
Perfect!
That’s the plan, baby.
Yeah!

385
00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:09,842
Whoo!
No, you don’t
understand Nico.

386
00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:12,845
No. He’s-- He’s gonna be...
He’s gonna, um...

387
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:15,848
Damn.
Yeah.

388
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:17,391
You like that?

389
00:25:18,309 --> 00:25:20,645
Hot.
Of course he is.

390
00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:23,231
Cristiano Maradona.
That’s the name you gave him?

391
00:25:23,397 --> 00:25:24,982
His parents
are huge soccer fans.

392
00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:27,443
And I know what you think
about Ronaldo’s body.

393
00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:29,946
His face is a composite
of Kelly, myself,

394
00:25:30,112 --> 00:25:33,407
our old high school gym teacher
and a young Antonio Banderas.

395
00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:38,913
Your mom just followed him.
Shit’s getting real, homey.

396
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,415
Wait, what? No.
No, undo all of this.

397
00:25:41,582 --> 00:25:44,961
Shit. You made him
a civil rights activist?

398
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:46,504
That’s like catnip
to her.
I know.

399
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,509
- Mama Lucille!
- <i> Jakey!</i>

400
00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:54,303
- What’s shaking?
<i> -I am so happy.</i>

401
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:55,888
<i>My brain just exploded.</i>

402
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:58,099
I know!
He’s super handsome, right?

403
00:25:58,266 --> 00:26:02,228
<i>I mean, he is</i>
<i>a civil rights activist.</i>

404
00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:04,272
<i>Oh, my God.</i>
<i>I must be dreaming.</i>

405
00:26:04,438 --> 00:26:06,440
- Mm-hmm. All real.
<i> -Ah!</i>

406
00:26:06,607 --> 00:26:09,235
<i>Don’t let the door hit you</i>
<i>on the way out, Nico.</i>
<i>Am I right?</i>

407
00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:10,695
- Mm-hmm.

408
00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,405
<i>Why didn’t Andrew</i>
<i>tell me about him?</i>

409
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,532
Hmm. I don’t know.
But he’s right here.

410
00:26:14,699 --> 00:26:16,701
You wanna ask him?
I’m not picking up.

411
00:26:16,867 --> 00:26:19,662
<i> -Andrew, I can see you.</i>
<i> Stop that.</i>
- I’m not-- Come on, man.

412
00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:22,081
<i> Stop that. I can see you.</i>

413
00:26:23,332 --> 00:26:24,458
Hey, Mom.

414
00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:29,171
<i> Listen, listen.</i>
<i> Is it serious? Have you two</i>
<i> discussed parameters?</i>

415
00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:32,091
<i> Are you open?</i>
<i> Are you poly? You pan?</i>

416
00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:34,635
Mom! No.
<i> I’m hip to all of this.</i>

417
00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:36,929
<i> There’s no shame.</i>
<i> There’s no shame.</i>

418
00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:38,889
I’m still just regular gay.

419
00:26:39,056 --> 00:26:41,892
<i> Oh. Okay.</i>
Yeah.

420
00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,978
<i>You know</i>
<i>I just want you</i>
<i>to be happy.</i>

421
00:26:44,145 --> 00:26:46,022
<i>Because I know how hard it is</i>
<i>to find a good man.</i>

422
00:26:46,188 --> 00:26:49,567
Yup, yup.
<i>Once you find him,</i>
<i>you hang on to him, honey.</i>

423
00:26:49,734 --> 00:26:51,944
Mom, this reception is crazy.
And I think I gotta go.

424
00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:53,988
But I’ll call you back
because I love you so much.

425
00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:55,573
Oh, you’re a monster.

426
00:26:55,740 --> 00:26:59,076
And you’re out
your damn mind.
Shut it down.

427
00:26:59,243 --> 00:27:01,746
I have to go to work
and I have to explain
all this to Nico.

428
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:07,918
Melinda!

429
00:27:08,085 --> 00:27:09,503
Hey.
Hey.

430
00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:11,130
Saw the new man on Insta.

431
00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:12,965
That was fast.

432
00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:15,217
A little out of your league,
but good for you.

433
00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:18,304
Have you seen Nico?
I really don’t know how
you relate to that guy.

434
00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:20,181
What?
I mean, if you’re trying
to get back at Nico,

435
00:27:20,348 --> 00:27:21,849
that is a swing
and a...

436
00:27:22,016 --> 00:27:25,227
That’s my impression
of a home run. Here he comes.

437
00:27:26,854 --> 00:27:28,689
Hey.
So, explain yourself.

438
00:27:28,856 --> 00:27:31,317
Sorry, look. This is--
You are such
a hypocrite, okay?

439
00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:35,029
You begged me for monogamy,
and then you go and embarrass me
on social like that?

440
00:27:35,196 --> 00:27:36,989
He isn’t even attractive.

441
00:27:38,866 --> 00:27:43,204
That’s funny.
Because everybody else is saying
how drop-dead gorgeous he is.

442
00:27:43,371 --> 00:27:45,373
Have you read the comments?

443
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:49,377
My phone has been
blowing up ever since
we went official on social.

444
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:54,632
He only has
2,300 followers.

445
00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:59,637
And that’s just about
the amount of followers
that you lost this week.

446
00:28:05,142 --> 00:28:08,145
Ah, Nico.
Lovely shirt, mate. It’s nice.

447
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:09,688
Yeah. Let’s do this.
All right?

448
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:15,486
<i> Yo.</i>
Hey. Hey, um, you didn’t
shut him down, did you?

449
00:28:15,653 --> 00:28:17,113
<i> Hell no.</i>

450
00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,115
Good, good.

451
00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:21,867
I’m in. What’s next?

452
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,320
Hold me like you mean it.

453
00:28:59,822 --> 00:29:01,824
Uh, should I ask?

454
00:29:01,991 --> 00:29:05,828
Oh! Oh, my God.
You’ve gotta see these. Yo.

455
00:29:05,995 --> 00:29:08,622
What’s happening?
It worked.
It fucking worked.

456
00:29:08,789 --> 00:29:11,208
Nico was so angry.
Hmm!

457
00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:13,752
And I finally know
what it’s like to have
a little bit of power.

458
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:15,671
Okay.

459
00:29:16,422 --> 00:29:18,174
I posted this
on the Gram.

460
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:20,551
Oh, I love it!

461
00:29:20,718 --> 00:29:22,386
Ooh!
He must be burning!

462
00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:24,847
Yeah. We’re working on
the whole backstory.

463
00:29:25,014 --> 00:29:28,392
They met in Mykonos a month ago,
conveniently during Andrew
and Nico’s seventh breakup.

464
00:29:28,559 --> 00:29:31,854
Oh, that’s good.
Wait, we said that we
were meeting in Fire Island.

465
00:29:32,021 --> 00:29:34,607
We brought weights
to the beach? In Greece?

466
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,735
Cristiano can’t afford
to take a day off.
He’s training for Ironman.

467
00:29:37,902 --> 00:29:42,781
What? No. This was indoor.
Indoor skydiving
on the third date.

468
00:29:42,948 --> 00:29:46,035
Why do something fake
when you can do it for real?

469
00:29:47,036 --> 00:29:50,831
- 2,700 likes on that one.
- What, 2,700?

470
00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:54,502
What happened to jogging
in Central Park?
I see bulls.

471
00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:58,797
Ooh, why jog in the park
when you can run with the bulls?

472
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:02,134
Exactly!
Baby, you always get me.
Oh!

473
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:06,472
Oh, yes, yes, yes,
I support whatever works.
We are keeping this.

474
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:08,182
You got it.

475
00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:15,564
Mmm, I don’t know.
This is a little
far-fetched.

476
00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:17,525
Well, the man has to be
larger than life

477
00:30:17,691 --> 00:30:20,110
to deal with
Nico’s monstrous ego.

478
00:30:35,042 --> 00:30:36,961
You know, this Cristiano thing
might really work out.

479
00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:38,963
’Cause I haven’t checked
Nico’s accounts.

480
00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:42,883
I haven’t looked for his texts,
like, that much today.

481
00:30:43,050 --> 00:30:47,304
I’m feeling like
I’m finally getting
over him, you know?

482
00:30:47,471 --> 00:30:51,850
Anyway, always good
chatting with you,
Mr. Jiang.

483
00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:53,811
Enjoy your cooking class.

484
00:30:57,106 --> 00:30:59,483
Hey, Bernie.
I’ll see you inside.

485
00:31:31,015 --> 00:31:33,142
Welcome to
"Cooking For Your Community."

486
00:31:33,309 --> 00:31:35,728
And for those
who don’t know me,
I’m Rafi Halabida,

487
00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:38,939
chef and co-owner
of the Aberdeen,
the restaurant right below us.

488
00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:40,983
We’re available
for reservations.

489
00:31:41,150 --> 00:31:43,485
And yes, that was
a shameless plug.

490
00:31:43,652 --> 00:31:46,280
- Hi. Welcome.
- Thanks.

491
00:31:46,447 --> 00:31:48,282
Today, we are going to make
a meze platter,

492
00:31:48,449 --> 00:31:50,576
a group of small dishes,
meant to be shared.

493
00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:52,703
Hey, I’m Andrew.

494
00:31:52,870 --> 00:31:54,121
I don’t care.

495
00:31:54,288 --> 00:31:55,873
- Excuse me?
- You heard me.

496
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,459
Sharing food is
one of my favorite things.

497
00:31:58,626 --> 00:32:00,878
You can share a meal
with someone
from a different country,

498
00:32:01,045 --> 00:32:03,631
someone whose language
you don’t know,
and still communicate.

499
00:32:03,797 --> 00:32:06,008
Because food is
a universal language.

500
00:32:06,175 --> 00:32:08,093
When you make someone
something delicious to eat,

501
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:10,304
you’re communicating
that you care.

502
00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:12,056
You’re sharing your love.

503
00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:17,561
Okay. Enough of that.
Let’s make meze.

504
00:32:19,355 --> 00:32:21,440
- Hey, Jessica.
I like your hair.
- Hi, Rafi.

505
00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:23,108
Yeah. You look good.
Thank you. Thanks.

506
00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,027
This is all lovely.

507
00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:30,407
You’re Andrew, right?
Uh, yeah.

508
00:32:30,574 --> 00:32:32,785
You’re Bernie’s ride.
He talks about you
all the time.

509
00:32:34,036 --> 00:32:36,038
Oh, does he?
Yeah.

510
00:32:36,205 --> 00:32:38,582
So, he finally convinced you
to come to class.

511
00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:40,751
N-No, I ju...

512
00:32:40,918 --> 00:32:44,505
Yeah, he did.
Because he knows
how bad of a cook I am.

513
00:32:44,672 --> 00:32:47,007
I actually tried to make him
some breakfast one time,

514
00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:48,842
and then we ended up
at urgent care.

515
00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:51,178
That was you.
Yeah...

516
00:32:51,345 --> 00:32:53,347
Well...

517
00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:03,982
Here, let me help you.
Thanks.

518
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:06,110
So you want to take
your left hand

519
00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:08,445
and make it
a little bit like a claw,
like your knuckles.

520
00:33:08,612 --> 00:33:10,906
Okay.
And then,

521
00:33:11,073 --> 00:33:12,700
put your hand up
a little higher
on the knife.

522
00:33:12,866 --> 00:33:14,618
A little higher.
There you go.

523
00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:19,415
Okay.
And boom.
Just like a seesaw.

524
00:33:24,795 --> 00:33:28,549
<i> Save-a the rhinos,</i>
<i> the leopards,</i>

525
00:33:28,716 --> 00:33:30,968
<i> the horses, the kittens,</i>

526
00:33:31,135 --> 00:33:32,761
<i> the chickens.</i>

527
00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:35,013
<i> Save-a the animals.</i>

528
00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:42,271
Hey, hey, that’s my trailer.

529
00:33:42,438 --> 00:33:46,900
- I’ve got it.
I’ll walk him out.
- Walk me out?

530
00:33:47,067 --> 00:33:49,445
I told you this whole
"shitting where you work" thing
was gonna blow up.

531
00:33:49,611 --> 00:33:51,905
Nico got you pulled
from the show.

532
00:33:52,990 --> 00:33:54,783
What? He can’t do that.
Clearly, he can.

533
00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:56,910
No. I’m gonna
go talk to him.

534
00:34:01,081 --> 00:34:02,750
Nico. Nico.

535
00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:04,752
Oh! Hey, baby.

536
00:34:04,918 --> 00:34:06,545
No. Don’t "hey, baby" me.

537
00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:09,673
Listen, um, I’m sorry
you lost your job.

538
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,426
But it was kinda
your choice, right?

539
00:34:12,593 --> 00:34:15,596
Anyways, good luck
finding another one
without me.

540
00:34:15,763 --> 00:34:17,681
And, um, security!

541
00:34:17,848 --> 00:34:22,895
Please escort
this unemployed stuntman
off my set. Bye!

542
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:25,481
No. Don’t touch me.
Please. I’m good.
Hey. Hey.

543
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,191
I know this isn’t
the best time.

544
00:34:27,357 --> 00:34:30,486
But Rhonda is obsessed
with Cristiano.

545
00:34:30,652 --> 00:34:32,279
What?
No, not the best time, Emily.

546
00:34:32,446 --> 00:34:34,656
She even donated to
his "Save the Rhino"
campaign.

547
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,075
And now she’s got it
in her head that
she wants a baby,

548
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:39,453
because she thinks that
he would be the perfect donor.

549
00:34:39,620 --> 00:34:42,706
She’s willing to get it
in there, au naturel.

550
00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:47,002
Talking about in her vagina.
It’s cheaper.
Right. Got it.

551
00:34:47,169 --> 00:34:50,422
We just bought a house. Anyways,
just putting it out there.

552
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,341
Something to noodle on.
Yeah.

553
00:34:52,508 --> 00:34:54,051
It’s gonna be okay.

554
00:34:54,218 --> 00:34:56,053
I’ll call you.
Just think about it.

555
00:34:56,220 --> 00:34:58,138
Thanks. Thank you.
Thanks.

556
00:35:01,809 --> 00:35:05,729
I was a year away
from getting my shot at being
lead stunt coordinator.

557
00:35:05,896 --> 00:35:08,148
Now I’m back at square one.
I’m actually worse.

558
00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:13,821
You getting fired
is a blessing in disguise.

559
00:35:13,987 --> 00:35:17,324
At<i> Hampton’s Bay,</i>
you were always going to be
under Nico’s thumb.

560
00:35:17,491 --> 00:35:20,160
This is an opportunity
for you.

561
00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:23,872
I’m single and I’m unemployed.
Where’s that opportunity, Jake?

562
00:35:24,039 --> 00:35:26,834
Let Cristiano help.
He has a plan.

563
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,296
You do know that Cristiano
is not real, right?

564
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:34,883
He’s not actually out there
saving albino rhinos.

565
00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:39,054
He’s absolutely
saving the rhinos.

566
00:35:39,221 --> 00:35:41,765
He’s raised enough money
to open a rhino conservatory.

567
00:35:41,932 --> 00:35:44,184
So, you tell me, Drew,
what is "real"?

568
00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:47,563
If enough people believe in him,
then he becomes real.

569
00:35:47,729 --> 00:35:51,275
Give Cristiano 48 hours.
He’ll fix this.

570
00:36:00,409 --> 00:36:03,287
<i> Do you love stunts?</i>
<i> I know that I do.</i>

571
00:36:03,453 --> 00:36:07,833
<i>Check out my man</i>
<i>@andrewthatstuntguy.</i>
<i>He’s the best stuntman ever.</i>

572
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,254
Peyton, hey,
thanks for letting me
pick up some extra hours.

573
00:36:12,421 --> 00:36:16,800
No worries.
There’s a situation
in the bathroom.

574
00:36:20,637 --> 00:36:22,222
For you.
Thank you.

575
00:36:22,389 --> 00:36:24,349
Off you go.

576
00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:26,894
You couldn’t do it?
Absolutely not.
Not my job.

577
00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:29,354
Ooh, Andrew.
Yeah?

578
00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:31,064
Those aren’t
your good shoes,
are they?

579
00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:34,610
Yeah.
Yeah, they are.
Of course.

580
00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:37,946
You’re walking into
the eye of the storm, bud.
So, Godspeed, take care.

581
00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:40,616
- Ooh!
- Yeah, it’s, uh--
it’s a scent.

582
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:43,327
It wafts. Wow.

583
00:36:43,493 --> 00:36:46,538
Oh! That’s not how you use that.
Nope, absolutely not. Get down.

584
00:37:27,454 --> 00:37:29,665
I was with Raphael that night.

585
00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:32,876
How could I possibly be
in Amagansett and Sagaponack
at the same time?

586
00:37:33,043 --> 00:37:35,128
I’m an award-winning director.

587
00:37:35,295 --> 00:37:37,965
I’m an award-winning director.
I’m an award-winning director.

588
00:37:38,131 --> 00:37:39,591
Helena, Helena, Helena.

589
00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:41,635
Uh, cut. Cut!

590
00:37:41,802 --> 00:37:44,429
What the hell?
You were good. I was great.

591
00:37:45,097 --> 00:37:47,391
Hello?

592
00:37:47,557 --> 00:37:50,686
Oh, come to beg me
for your job back?

593
00:37:50,852 --> 00:37:54,439
Actually,
he’s my guest, Nico.

594
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:57,693
Andrew, let’s chat.
Shall we?

595
00:37:57,859 --> 00:37:59,778
Uh, excuse me.
We’re in the middle of a scene?

596
00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:03,281
Take it easy, muscles.
We shan’t be but a moment.

597
00:38:06,076 --> 00:38:09,246
It’s awesome to officially
meet with you, I must say.

598
00:38:09,413 --> 00:38:12,374
I imagine it would be.
Right?

599
00:38:12,541 --> 00:38:14,001
Tell me about yourself,
kid.

600
00:38:15,127 --> 00:38:17,212
Ooh, uh, I’m--
Fantastic, fantastic.

601
00:38:17,379 --> 00:38:19,339
Listen, I’m prepping
this film, all right?

602
00:38:19,506 --> 00:38:22,467
It’s gonna be way bigger
and way better
than this trash heap.

603
00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:23,927
All right?

604
00:38:24,094 --> 00:38:27,014
It’s called
<i> Kung Blue.</i>

605
00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:30,142
Lots of kung-fu fighting
and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.

606
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:31,685
And get this.

607
00:38:31,852 --> 00:38:37,441
It takes place on a planet
where everyone is blue.

608
00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:43,155
Blue?
Yeah.

609
00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:44,906
That’s kick-ass!
Yeah.

610
00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:47,451
Yeah, it is kick-ass.
All right.

611
00:38:47,617 --> 00:38:51,997
And I want you
to be my fight choreographer
and stunt lead.

612
00:38:53,582 --> 00:38:57,252
That’s incredible.
Sign me up, please.

613
00:38:57,419 --> 00:39:00,172
Cristiano sent me
your stunt reel.

614
00:39:00,881 --> 00:39:02,466
And let me tell you...

615
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:04,843
it was poetry.

616
00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:06,219
Thank you.
Thank you, I--

617
00:39:09,306 --> 00:39:12,642
I can’t believe
he sent you my reel.
Shh!

618
00:39:12,809 --> 00:39:14,519
Now, listen. All right?

619
00:39:15,562 --> 00:39:19,066
I need you
to do something for me.

620
00:39:21,151 --> 00:39:22,944
I need
your boyfriend’s
autograph.

621
00:39:23,111 --> 00:39:25,572
My kid’s a massive fan.

622
00:39:25,739 --> 00:39:28,283
Make it out to Emilia,
all right?

623
00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:31,036
Lovely chat.
Yes, yes.

624
00:39:31,203 --> 00:39:34,414
All right,
who are we waiting on?
Oh, Nico.

625
00:39:34,581 --> 00:39:37,501
- Nico, Nico, Nico, Nico.

626
00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:47,844
Someone’s happy.
So I guess you’re not
mad at me anymore?

627
00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:51,181
Mm-mmm. How could I be mad
when I just got my dream job?

628
00:39:51,348 --> 00:39:53,892
You guys came through for me.
I’m gonna take you to dinner.

629
00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:55,727
And I know the perfect place.

630
00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:57,938
You’ve been secretly
taking cooking classes?

631
00:39:58,105 --> 00:40:00,690
I went to one.
And he’s dreamy?

632
00:40:00,857 --> 00:40:03,151
Very. Yeah.
Okay.

633
00:40:04,694 --> 00:40:09,074
And you don’t know
if he’s gay or, uh,
like, anything, right?

634
00:40:09,241 --> 00:40:11,868
So this is
a reconnaissance mission?
Correct.

635
00:40:12,035 --> 00:40:14,496
Wait, no.

636
00:40:14,663 --> 00:40:17,582
No. This is just to get
your opinions, nothing else.

637
00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:20,085
Mmm.
Copy.

638
00:40:20,252 --> 00:40:23,964
Um, but he does know that
you have a boyfriend, right?

639
00:40:24,131 --> 00:40:27,259
No. Because
I don’t have
a boyfriend.

640
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:29,386
Uh...
Yes. You do.

641
00:40:29,553 --> 00:40:31,429
No, I don’t.
But you do.

642
00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:33,056
No, I don’t.
We’re done.

643
00:40:33,223 --> 00:40:35,100
Yes, you do!

644
00:40:35,267 --> 00:40:37,435
Well--
Can we drop this?
I do not.

645
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,438
After you.
Oh, thank you.

646
00:40:40,605 --> 00:40:42,149
You do. You do.
I don’t.

647
00:40:42,315 --> 00:40:44,943
Hello. We have
a reservation for three.

648
00:40:45,110 --> 00:40:47,445
Uh-huh. And what name
is on the reservation?

649
00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:51,366
Ew! It’s my dirty,
creepy stalker.

650
00:40:51,533 --> 00:40:53,535
Hasn’t your episode
of<i> Dateline</i> aired yet?

651
00:40:53,702 --> 00:40:55,745
Can you just please
show us to our table?

652
00:40:55,912 --> 00:40:58,707
Why?
So you can freak out on me?
I don’t think so.

653
00:40:58,874 --> 00:41:00,333
Seat us now.

654
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:03,753
- Hmph!
- I love it
when you dominate people.

655
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:05,922
Mmm!
You want me to dominate you?

656
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:08,258
- Ugh.
- We are in public.

657
00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:10,969
Okay.

658
00:41:21,062 --> 00:41:23,732
Okay. Do a button.

659
00:41:23,899 --> 00:41:25,567
Mmm.
I do mine.

660
00:41:25,734 --> 00:41:27,694
Button? Okay.
No, you’re good.
You got it.

661
00:41:29,946 --> 00:41:31,281
There we go.
Want one, baby?

662
00:41:31,448 --> 00:41:32,866
What’s happening?
No, I’m good.

663
00:41:33,033 --> 00:41:35,493
Oh, well, we are conducting
a scientific experiment

664
00:41:35,660 --> 00:41:37,495
to find out Rafi’s
sexual preference.

665
00:41:37,662 --> 00:41:40,373
We’re looking for
physiological signs
of attraction.

666
00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:43,293
So, you know, like,
do his pupils dilate?

667
00:41:43,460 --> 00:41:46,463
Does he mirror body language
or try to enhance
his appearance?

668
00:41:46,630 --> 00:41:48,882
- Does he pop a bone?
- It’s science.

669
00:41:49,049 --> 00:41:51,384
I’m begging you.
Please don’t embarrass me.

670
00:41:51,551 --> 00:41:53,261
Well, this is
a nice surprise.

671
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:54,763
Hey.

672
00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:57,849
Hi.
Hey.

673
00:41:58,016 --> 00:41:59,184
Hi, there.
It’s nice to meet you.

674
00:41:59,351 --> 00:42:02,145
Yeah, you too. Oh.
I’m Rafi.

675
00:42:02,312 --> 00:42:05,523
Come in here, big guy.
Okay, all right. Oh.

676
00:42:06,650 --> 00:42:08,860
Oh. Okay, okay.

677
00:42:09,027 --> 00:42:11,988
- Sorry, I got lost.
- That’s okay. That’s okay.
Good to meet you, man.

678
00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:14,449
- Better to meet you.
- Yeah, I like your shirt.

679
00:42:14,616 --> 00:42:16,284
Hi. How are you?

680
00:42:19,788 --> 00:42:21,623
Oh. One more.

681
00:42:21,790 --> 00:42:25,001
<i>- Bonjour. Je m’appelle Kelly.</i>
<i>- Je suis Rafi.</i>

682
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,255
- <i> -Tu parles français?</i>
- No.

683
00:42:28,421 --> 00:42:30,590
Okay.

684
00:42:30,757 --> 00:42:32,509
- Oh, my earring!
- Uh-oh.

685
00:42:32,676 --> 00:42:34,177
- Oh, I should get that.
- Want me to...

686
00:42:34,344 --> 00:42:36,930
Okay. Okay, yup.

687
00:42:37,097 --> 00:42:40,767
- Here’s that one.
There... Yeah.

688
00:42:40,934 --> 00:42:42,310
It’s good to see you,
Andrew.

689
00:42:42,477 --> 00:42:44,312
Hi. Um...

690
00:42:46,982 --> 00:42:49,651
We thought that we would come by
and try your food for real.

691
00:42:49,818 --> 00:42:51,403
Oh, nice.
Yeah.

692
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:53,363
So you’re
testing me, huh?
Maybe.

693
00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:55,949
- Well, then,
I better get cracking.

694
00:42:56,116 --> 00:42:57,325
I’ll send Leo
to get your drink order.

695
00:42:57,492 --> 00:42:59,411
- No!
- No, don’t. You don’t--

696
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:01,329
Oh, please.
No.

697
00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:07,168
- Well, confirming
he is dreamy.

698
00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:10,380
But let’s get back
to the experiment
and the data.

699
00:43:10,547 --> 00:43:14,259
Jake. When Jake hugged Rafi,
he almost seemed to have
an adverse reaction.

700
00:43:14,426 --> 00:43:17,345
You know, basically
the opposite of attraction.

701
00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:19,723
Told you. He’s straight.

702
00:43:19,889 --> 00:43:22,559
- That just means he’s
not attracted to you.
- I’m getting a one on my gaydar.

703
00:43:22,726 --> 00:43:24,894
- It’s registering
a nine on mine.
- Your gaydar sucks.

704
00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:26,980
- I disagree.
- Who told you you were gay
in fifth grade

705
00:43:27,147 --> 00:43:28,648
when you were
still dating Lauren Gladberg.

706
00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:31,234
He wouldn’t touch
her boobies.
Big honkers.

707
00:43:31,401 --> 00:43:34,362
Also, he gave you a dap,
which is the most hetero
of man hugs.

708
00:43:34,529 --> 00:43:36,656
Let’s focus. What about me?
Did he respond?

709
00:43:36,823 --> 00:43:40,035
Jake, you didn’t take
any notes!
Baby, I’m sorry.

710
00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:45,707
I got a notification
that Cristiano just hit
1.6 million followers.

711
00:43:45,874 --> 00:43:48,626
Wait, what?
How is that even possible?

712
00:43:48,793 --> 00:43:51,087
Yeah, that’s crazy.
Dude’s a rock star.

713
00:43:52,339 --> 00:43:56,301
Okay, well, experiment.
Andrew, what about you?

714
00:43:57,844 --> 00:44:00,388
I got nothing.
My hands were sweaty.
My heartbeat was rapid.

715
00:44:00,555 --> 00:44:02,599
It’s just-- Nothing.

716
00:44:02,766 --> 00:44:05,685
Are you telling me that
I got out the deep cleave
for nothing?

717
00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:08,646
- No, no, no.
- No, no. Not for nothing, baby.

718
00:44:08,813 --> 00:44:10,940
- Deep cleave.
- Everyone’s rooting for it.

719
00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:14,361
Let me guess.
You’re getting drunk.

720
00:44:14,527 --> 00:44:16,154
Not a bad idea.

721
00:44:16,321 --> 00:44:18,073
Champagne, weirdo.
Your finest.

722
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:19,282
- What? No.
- No.

723
00:44:19,449 --> 00:44:21,201
- Feels right.
- Ugh.

724
00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:28,041
What are you doing?
Don’t worry.
Cristiano’s paying for it.

725
00:44:28,208 --> 00:44:30,085
He’s just signed a deal
with Absolut Vodka.

726
00:44:30,251 --> 00:44:34,506
They’re huge supporters
- of the LGBTQIA2
- S+ communities.

727
00:44:35,715 --> 00:44:38,760
- Here is our finest bottle.
- Wow. Oh.

728
00:44:38,927 --> 00:44:41,596
Can I say something?
My eyes are up here.

729
00:44:42,472 --> 00:44:43,556
Ew.

730
00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:45,809
Unbelievable.

731
00:44:45,975 --> 00:44:48,561
- I don’t trust him.

732
00:44:48,728 --> 00:44:50,313
- Okay.
- Oh. That is very...

733
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,190
It’s okay. It’s okay.
I do this all the time.

734
00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:54,526
- No, I don’t think you do.
- Oh, oh!

735
00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:57,487
Oh, no! Okay.
It’s really in there.

736
00:44:57,654 --> 00:44:59,781
I can-- Just-- Oh.

737
00:44:59,948 --> 00:45:02,325
I got it. Okay?

738
00:45:02,492 --> 00:45:04,494
You know what? Fine.

739
00:45:04,661 --> 00:45:08,206
I’m sure you’re dying
to demonstrate your
toxic masculinity anyway.

740
00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:12,210
I’m-- I’m so sorry.
Owie! Ow! Ow!

741
00:45:12,377 --> 00:45:15,130
I barely touched that.
Oh, bullshit!
You did that on purpose.

742
00:45:15,296 --> 00:45:17,424
- Ow!
- Are you okay?

743
00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:19,467
This predator tried
to blind me

744
00:45:19,634 --> 00:45:21,386
because I don’t want
to go out with him.

745
00:45:21,553 --> 00:45:23,847
Hey, what’s going on?
What happened?
Leo got hit with a cork.

746
00:45:24,013 --> 00:45:26,766
Leo was assaulted
with a projectile, actually.

747
00:45:26,933 --> 00:45:29,519
Okay. Hey, Leo.
Why don’t you take off early?

748
00:45:29,686 --> 00:45:32,063
Yeah? Okay.
Go home. Relax.
Put some ice on that.

749
00:45:32,230 --> 00:45:34,774
- I might need to take
the rest of the week off too.
- All right, buddy.

750
00:45:34,941 --> 00:45:37,318
You take care. Okay?

751
00:45:39,028 --> 00:45:40,780
Something tells me
I owe you dinner.

752
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,574
Oh, no.
No.

753
00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:44,117
Oh, no.
If you insist.

754
00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:47,871
I’ll start you
with some appetizers.

755
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:55,253
Get out of here.
You’re a stuntman?

756
00:45:55,420 --> 00:45:57,922
- I’m trying.
- He just booked a huge gig.

757
00:45:58,089 --> 00:46:01,176
He also teaches self-defense.
You should check out
one of his classes.

758
00:46:01,342 --> 00:46:03,803
I will.
Has Rafi fed you
well enough?

759
00:46:03,970 --> 00:46:05,889
Yes, delicious.
Yeah. Stuffed.

760
00:46:06,055 --> 00:46:09,058
Mm-hmm.
He is
a culinary magician.

761
00:46:09,225 --> 00:46:13,021
- Oh, I don’t know.
I wouldn’t go that far.
- It’s okay. I got you.

762
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:15,815
I’m sure Mr. Jiang
has told you all about
Andrew’s new boyfriend.

763
00:46:15,982 --> 00:46:18,359
He’s a philanthropist...

764
00:46:18,526 --> 00:46:20,069
...and renowned
human rights activist.

765
00:46:20,236 --> 00:46:22,780
Wow.
That’s super impressive.

766
00:46:25,408 --> 00:46:29,120
Yes. Yes, but
it’s really nothing
compared to all this.

767
00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:34,083
I mean, this is amazing
that you have a restaurant
in New York at your age.

768
00:46:34,250 --> 00:46:36,377
- Like, come on.
- Yeah, thanks.

769
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:38,630
Uh, it can be tough.

770
00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:42,217
- You know, New York
and a restaurant.
- Yeah, I bet.

771
00:46:42,383 --> 00:46:45,386
The thing about Andrew’s
boyfriend is that even with
his globe-trotting schedule,

772
00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:50,350
he still finds time to make
sweet love to little Andrew
for hours on end.

773
00:46:50,517 --> 00:46:52,477
Uh, wow.

774
00:46:52,644 --> 00:46:57,649
Okay, I should start closing up.
Um, you guys hang out
as long as you want.

775
00:46:57,815 --> 00:46:59,567
- Thanks.
- Thank you again.

776
00:46:59,734 --> 00:47:01,236
Thanks, guys. Good night.
Thanks for coming.

777
00:47:01,402 --> 00:47:02,737
Good night.

778
00:47:03,696 --> 00:47:04,906
Good night.

779
00:47:07,659 --> 00:47:11,120
Dude, why are you so angry?
The man is clearly straight.

780
00:47:11,287 --> 00:47:12,664
You don’t know that.

781
00:47:12,830 --> 00:47:15,250
Open your eyes.
He was gonna
find out anyway.

782
00:47:15,416 --> 00:47:17,627
That I have a fake boyfriend?

783
00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:20,421
That you have a boyfriend
real enough to land you
your dream job.

784
00:47:20,588 --> 00:47:22,757
Because he got me fired
from the one I had.

785
00:47:22,924 --> 00:47:25,176
- I should never have gone
along with all this shit.
- You guys--

786
00:47:25,343 --> 00:47:27,428
You always think
you’re saving me, but you
just make my life worse.

787
00:47:27,595 --> 00:47:28,638
Stop it!

788
00:47:30,390 --> 00:47:32,475
We’ll live, bruh.
Uh--

789
00:47:40,358 --> 00:47:42,986
<i> I hear our mother crying.</i>

790
00:47:44,237 --> 00:47:48,366
<i> Do you? Help our mother.</i>
<i> Save a deer.</i>

791
00:47:48,533 --> 00:47:52,412
Babe, just come to bed.
You’ll feel better tomorrow.

792
00:47:55,623 --> 00:47:57,166
All I wanted to do was help.

793
00:47:59,919 --> 00:48:01,212
I know.

794
00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:07,218
I think I have to
delete Cristiano.

795
00:48:11,472 --> 00:48:12,807
It might be time.

796
00:48:14,809 --> 00:48:16,561
I’m sorry, I--

797
00:48:16,728 --> 00:48:18,813
I know you put
a lot of work into this.

798
00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:24,694
But you know that everything
he can do, you can do too.

799
00:48:28,698 --> 00:48:29,949
It’s Nico.

800
00:48:31,576 --> 00:48:33,911
Well, aren’t you going
to open it?
No.

801
00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:35,663
Okay, then fine,
I will.

802
00:48:39,667 --> 00:48:41,753
"Apologies in advance.

803
00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:46,466
Your boyfriend’s
about to cheat on you
with me.

804
00:48:46,633 --> 00:48:48,009
Oops."

805
00:48:49,677 --> 00:48:53,222
He’s probably on his way
over to Drew’s right now.
Come on!

806
00:48:53,389 --> 00:48:54,682
Nah, I’m not going.

807
00:48:54,849 --> 00:48:56,225
He thinks
I’m messing up his life.

808
00:48:57,018 --> 00:48:58,353
Okay.

809
00:48:58,519 --> 00:48:59,937
He’s wrong. You’re great.

810
00:49:00,104 --> 00:49:01,981
Let’s go save Drew.

811
00:49:02,148 --> 00:49:03,691
Come on. Up and at ’em.

812
00:49:09,739 --> 00:49:12,867
- Hey!
- Ah, so thirsty.

813
00:49:13,034 --> 00:49:17,205
Ah! Screw you. Did Andrew
change his entry code or what?

814
00:49:17,372 --> 00:49:19,957
Hmm. Did he?
Oh, I don’t know.

815
00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:24,379
Listen, frat boy. You don’t know
who you’re messing with.

816
00:49:24,545 --> 00:49:26,547
Mmm. Have a terrible night!

817
00:49:27,298 --> 00:49:29,509
You better watch your back.

818
00:49:29,676 --> 00:49:32,095
Ooh! Scary penis trap.

819
00:49:32,261 --> 00:49:34,514
I’m so scared!
I’m not a penis trap, okay?

820
00:49:34,681 --> 00:49:37,809
You’re penis traps.
You’re penis-- I’m not--

821
00:49:43,356 --> 00:49:45,316
Such a loser!
So stupid!

822
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:46,776
Loser!

823
00:49:46,943 --> 00:49:48,528
Good one.
Yeah.

824
00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:55,993
<i> Wash. Tone.</i>

825
00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:59,956
<i> Drink. Love.</i>

826
00:50:00,123 --> 00:50:02,709
<i> Your biggest organ.</i>

827
00:50:18,015 --> 00:50:21,686
Congratulations
on your big movie!

828
00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:26,691
Thanks, Mom.
Mm-hmm.

829
00:50:26,858 --> 00:50:28,234
What are you doing here?

830
00:50:28,401 --> 00:50:30,820
Oh, there was
an HRC members meeting.

831
00:50:32,655 --> 00:50:33,656
What’s with the shirt?

832
00:50:33,823 --> 00:50:35,742
- You like?
- No.

833
00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:39,203
I got it on Etsy.
They’re talking
about him for 2028.

834
00:50:39,370 --> 00:50:42,540
Ooh! You could be
First Husband.

835
00:50:42,707 --> 00:50:45,585
Wouldn’t that be fantastic?
I could visit you
at the White House.

836
00:50:48,463 --> 00:50:49,672
Mom, um...
Huh?

837
00:50:52,091 --> 00:50:54,260
The whole thing
about Cristiano--

838
00:50:54,427 --> 00:50:56,095
I know. I get too excited.

839
00:50:56,262 --> 00:50:57,638
Okay, let me
just take a breath.

840
00:50:57,805 --> 00:50:59,223
Ooh! Slow my roll.

841
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:02,143
He--
I’m just so happy

842
00:51:02,310 --> 00:51:04,270
that you found a partner
who deserves you.

843
00:51:04,437 --> 00:51:06,689
Speaking of which,
why are you fighting with Jake?

844
00:51:06,856 --> 00:51:09,942
- Oh, that’s why you’re here.
- No! Well, may-- Not 100%.

845
00:51:10,109 --> 00:51:12,945
Look, why are you
fighting with Jakey?

846
00:51:13,112 --> 00:51:16,449
We’re not fighting.
He’s just way too deep
in my life.

847
00:51:16,616 --> 00:51:17,700
Boy needs to chill.

848
00:51:19,786 --> 00:51:22,830
Listen to me.
Jake is your best friend.

849
00:51:22,997 --> 00:51:27,293
No matter what happens
with all these other loves
in your life,

850
00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:28,711
he is always gonna be there.

851
00:51:28,878 --> 00:51:30,546
You need to fix it.

852
00:51:32,215 --> 00:51:33,299
I will.

853
00:51:34,467 --> 00:51:35,551
Okay.

854
00:51:39,263 --> 00:51:41,015
Wait. Are you cooking now?

855
00:51:41,182 --> 00:51:42,767
I’m trying. Um...

856
00:51:42,934 --> 00:51:46,771
I’m actually taking
his cooking class.

857
00:51:46,938 --> 00:51:48,773
You’re cooking
with your man?

858
00:51:48,940 --> 00:51:51,025
Yeah. I guess I am.

859
00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:52,944
Oh. Whoa.

860
00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:54,904
- Is it good?
- It’s edible.

861
00:51:55,071 --> 00:51:57,698
I wouldn’t stop going
to classes just yet.

862
00:51:57,865 --> 00:52:01,160
But, oh, my baby’s cooking!

863
00:52:01,327 --> 00:52:02,495
Oh!

864
00:52:02,662 --> 00:52:04,831
Look at you!
I’m so proud--

865
00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:06,582
I’m gonna fix it.

866
00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:07,959
What?
Yeah.

867
00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:14,841
All right, squad,
how we doing?
Looking good.

868
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:17,343
Yo. Hey, Liz. Uh--

869
00:52:18,845 --> 00:52:20,555
- Hi.
- Hey.

870
00:52:20,721 --> 00:52:23,140
- What are you doing here?
- Kelly invited me, remember?

871
00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:25,184
You’ve done my class.
Now it’s my turn to do yours.

872
00:52:25,351 --> 00:52:27,979
Yeah, welcome.
We should get started.

873
00:52:28,145 --> 00:52:30,940
So, partners
in protection.

874
00:52:31,107 --> 00:52:33,109
I want to go through
a kind of drill,
basic defense drill,

875
00:52:33,276 --> 00:52:35,778
that you might encounter
on a common night out.

876
00:52:35,945 --> 00:52:38,239
All right?
So let me grab a volunteer.

877
00:52:41,701 --> 00:52:42,743
Anyone else?

878
00:52:46,497 --> 00:52:47,415
Rafi. Yeah.

879
00:52:47,582 --> 00:52:48,708
Yes, well...

880
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:51,502
come on in.

881
00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:56,215
So, you’re out at a bar,
you’re having a good time
with your friends,

882
00:52:56,382 --> 00:52:59,719
and maybe some drinks,
but maybe someone else
has had way too much to drink.

883
00:52:59,886 --> 00:53:02,430
They pull you in like this.
What are you gonna do?

884
00:53:02,597 --> 00:53:04,807
You want to take control.
Okay.

885
00:53:04,974 --> 00:53:08,019
Uh, you’re gonna grab
this left wrist.

886
00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:11,439
And then you’re gonna slide
your arm across my neck.

887
00:53:11,606 --> 00:53:13,107
This arm. Yeah.
Like...

888
00:53:13,274 --> 00:53:15,067
Like that?
Uh, yeah.

889
00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:16,944
- Hey, guys.
- Oh, sorry.

890
00:53:17,111 --> 00:53:19,906
I need to steal Andrew.
I need you to hop in and spar.

891
00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:21,866
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Spar with who?

892
00:53:22,033 --> 00:53:23,993
He has a title fight
coming up.

893
00:53:24,660 --> 00:53:26,120
Not the Aussie.

894
00:53:26,287 --> 00:53:29,081
You reading my mind, bud?
Yeah, it’s the Aussie.

895
00:53:29,248 --> 00:53:32,251
Actually, we were just
getting started, so I should
probably stay with the class.

896
00:53:32,418 --> 00:53:34,795
I’m for sure as hell
not gonna jump in there.
No, no, no. No, no.

897
00:53:34,962 --> 00:53:37,381
I’m too little.
Look at me. Fragile, even.

898
00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:39,675
Uh, he’ll snap me
in two, for sure.

899
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:42,386
- It’s gotta be all you.
- Gotta be me.

900
00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:45,848
I will take over. Yeah.
That’s a nice shirt.

901
00:53:46,015 --> 00:53:47,266
Yeah, thanks.

902
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:49,477
But I got you.
We’re all good?

903
00:53:50,353 --> 00:53:52,730
Everybody’s
good here.
Okay.

904
00:53:52,897 --> 00:53:55,942
Who’s the Aussie?
Oh, you don’t want
to know. He’s huge.

905
00:54:05,201 --> 00:54:07,912
Mate! Aww!

906
00:54:10,122 --> 00:54:11,916
I really appreciate
you doing this.

907
00:54:12,083 --> 00:54:14,418
I need to get the training in
before my big fight.

908
00:54:14,585 --> 00:54:16,796
I’m happy to help you.

909
00:54:17,630 --> 00:54:19,632
All right, let’s fight.

910
00:54:39,068 --> 00:54:42,029
Things all good with
that new bloke you’ve
been hanging out with? Carleto?

911
00:54:42,196 --> 00:54:45,241
Cristiano? Hmm, it’s good.

912
00:54:45,408 --> 00:54:48,577
Right. He seems a mate.
You deserve a good guy.

913
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:51,288
Thank you.
That’s very sweet.

914
00:54:58,087 --> 00:55:00,214
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Maybe after this,

915
00:55:00,381 --> 00:55:03,509
we can celebrate
your new boyfriend
and grab a pint, yeah?

916
00:55:03,676 --> 00:55:05,344
Whoa! Maybe.

917
00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:09,223
Oh, shit. Okay.

918
00:55:11,434 --> 00:55:12,727
You all right?

919
00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,603
Get back here,
little buddy.
No, no...

920
00:55:25,281 --> 00:55:26,949
You almost had him
a few times in there.

921
00:55:27,116 --> 00:55:30,411
Yeah, yeah, my fetal position
is real strong.

922
00:55:30,578 --> 00:55:33,039
I’m very glad that
you got to watch all that.

923
00:55:33,205 --> 00:55:35,583
- How was class with Peyton?
- Oh, it was good.

924
00:55:35,750 --> 00:55:38,085
Yeah?
Yeah, they were really nice.
Very hands on.

925
00:55:39,670 --> 00:55:41,422
Even invited me out
for a drink.

926
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:45,342
Oh. Really?

927
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:50,598
Are you, um...
Are you interested in them?

928
00:55:50,765 --> 00:55:55,978
I just thought
I might have something
I might need to do

929
00:55:57,438 --> 00:55:59,190
or someplace
I might need to go.

930
00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:01,776
Right. Right.

931
00:56:01,942 --> 00:56:05,237
Because you wouldn’t want
to have to be somewhere

932
00:56:05,404 --> 00:56:07,490
when you need to
be someplace else.

933
00:56:07,656 --> 00:56:11,619
Hey, um,
I’ll catch you later, buddy.

934
00:56:12,620 --> 00:56:14,538
Yeah. Okay, buddy.

935
00:56:14,705 --> 00:56:16,332
Great class.
Yeah.

936
00:56:16,499 --> 00:56:18,084
It was good.
Okay.

937
00:56:18,250 --> 00:56:19,460
Okay.

938
00:56:21,295 --> 00:56:23,798
What’s wrong with me?

939
00:56:40,272 --> 00:56:43,484
You, um, want to get
in the shower with me?

940
00:56:44,110 --> 00:56:45,444
Mm-hmm. I do.

941
00:56:48,614 --> 00:56:50,741
Um-- Yeah.
Hmm?

942
00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:52,910
I really want to,
but, babe,

943
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:56,747
I’m currently figuring out
how to deepfake a TikTok

944
00:56:56,914 --> 00:57:00,334
and I’m on eight tutorials,
and I wanna make sure that--

945
00:57:00,501 --> 00:57:03,212
Jake, um, do you think that this
might be getting out of hand?

946
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:08,592
Nico just messaged Cristiano.

947
00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:10,719
Hmm.
Yeah. What a bastard.

948
00:57:10,886 --> 00:57:11,971
Bastard.

949
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:20,187
All right,<i> pendejo.</i>
You wanna dance?
<i> Bailamos.</i>

950
00:57:20,354 --> 00:57:22,606
"You don’t love him

951
00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:25,151
like I do."

952
00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:27,444
I don’t love him
like you do?

953
00:57:29,822 --> 00:57:32,074
Whatever, bitch.
I own that man.

954
00:57:34,493 --> 00:57:35,953
Do you want me
to text that back for you?

955
00:57:36,996 --> 00:57:39,456
Jesus Christ, Troy.
Stay out of my business.

956
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:41,917
All right.

957
00:57:42,084 --> 00:57:45,713
Troy, Troy,
you get that butt
back here right now.

958
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,132
Troy, pick this up.
Troy, that’s a rental!

959
00:57:48,299 --> 00:57:50,634
Are you excited
Cristiano’s back?

960
00:57:51,886 --> 00:57:53,679
I saw he posted
from Times Square.

961
00:57:53,846 --> 00:57:56,223
He’s having
some kind of Twitter war
with this soap opera guy.

962
00:57:57,308 --> 00:57:58,350
Nico?

963
00:57:59,268 --> 00:58:00,686
Yeah, I think
that’s his name.

964
00:58:00,853 --> 00:58:02,313
Yeah, it’s pretty cutthroat.

965
00:58:02,479 --> 00:58:04,356
Like, I wanted
to look away, but...

966
00:58:04,523 --> 00:58:08,152
Sometimes I forget
that our lives are out there
for everyone to see.

967
00:58:09,069 --> 00:58:10,905
Not that
you were doing that.

968
00:58:11,071 --> 00:58:13,949
I’m being weird.
Okay. I’m sorry.

969
00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:16,327
I’m not a social media guy,
to be honest.

970
00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:18,454
Ah, don’t apologize.
I get it.

971
00:58:18,621 --> 00:58:20,414
I only have profiles
for the restaurant.

972
00:58:20,581 --> 00:58:23,709
You don’t really post that much
of your personal stuff online.

973
00:58:23,876 --> 00:58:25,794
Yeah. Okay.
I see what I did there.

974
00:58:25,961 --> 00:58:29,381
Hey, listen, um,
I was wondering
if you and Cristiano

975
00:58:29,548 --> 00:58:31,759
would like to come by
the restaurant for
an eight-course tasting.

976
00:58:31,926 --> 00:58:34,094
No. I mean, why?

977
00:58:34,261 --> 00:58:36,555
Eight courses,
that’s-- that’s a lot.

978
00:58:36,722 --> 00:58:38,891
- I just wanna thank you both.
- Thank us for what?

979
00:58:39,058 --> 00:58:40,517
Cristiano posted
about the Aberdeen,

980
00:58:40,684 --> 00:58:42,269
and now we’re booked solid
for months.

981
00:58:42,436 --> 00:58:47,107
- Wow.
- I can’t thank him,
or you, enough.

982
00:58:47,274 --> 00:58:50,903
For the first time,
I feel like the restaurant
might be a hit.

983
00:58:51,070 --> 00:58:53,239
It’s kind of
overwhelming, huh?

984
00:58:54,531 --> 00:58:56,951
I think about all the things
I thought I wanted

985
00:58:57,117 --> 00:58:58,535
and now I want.

986
00:58:58,702 --> 00:59:00,037
I want you.

987
00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:05,793
To come to dinner...
with us.

988
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:09,129
You want me to have dinner
with you and your boyfriend?

989
00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:11,966
Yeah. Absolutely.

990
00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,343
So let me get this straight.
He’s coming here right now?

991
00:59:14,510 --> 00:59:17,054
I tried to get out of it.
I texted him
that Cristiano was sick.

992
00:59:17,221 --> 00:59:19,306
Then he was like,
"I’ll bring over
some homemade soup."

993
00:59:19,473 --> 00:59:21,267
And then I was like,
"Okay, that sounds lovely!"

994
00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:23,644
Oh, wow!
He sounds really great.
I like him.

995
00:59:23,811 --> 00:59:27,273
Right? You can’t blame me
for falling for
a potentially straight guy.

996
00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:29,483
Um, I can.
Last time, disaster.

997
00:59:29,650 --> 00:59:31,610
Terence Mullen.
Eighth-grade
sleepaway camp.

998
00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:33,404
Drew popped a boner
in arts and crafts

999
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,197
and had to jump
in the lake.
Oh, poor baby.

1000
00:59:35,364 --> 00:59:37,324
Well, Jake popped one
over Myrna the lunch lady.

1001
00:59:37,491 --> 00:59:40,494
Aw, that just makes me
love you more.

1002
00:59:40,661 --> 00:59:43,956
No! Guys, he’s gonna be here
any minute. What do we do?

1003
00:59:45,791 --> 00:59:49,586
- He’s here. What do we do?

1004
00:59:49,753 --> 00:59:53,299
- Maybe just tell him the truth.
- What, and look like
an absolute psychopath? No!

1005
00:59:53,465 --> 00:59:56,552
No, I got it.
I got it. Come with me.
Oh.

1006
00:59:56,719 --> 00:59:59,888
Jake to the rescue.
You go get the door.
Mm-hmm.

1007
01:00:00,681 --> 01:00:02,308
- Hey.
- Hey.

1008
01:00:02,474 --> 01:00:03,559
You’re here.

1009
01:00:05,352 --> 01:00:07,396
What do I do?
Okay, we’re gonna
throw a bunch of stuff

1010
01:00:07,563 --> 01:00:10,107
inside the toilet--
just wet stuff, big stuff.

1011
01:00:10,274 --> 01:00:11,859
Wet stuff.
Make it sound like--
Big, small...

1012
01:00:12,026 --> 01:00:13,360
Big, small, wet, juicy.

1013
01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:15,696
Uh, I brought you the soup.

1014
01:00:15,863 --> 01:00:19,241
Thank you. Thanks.
That’s very sweet.

1015
01:00:20,242 --> 01:00:22,202
Thank you.
Yeah.

1016
01:00:22,369 --> 01:00:26,540
Um...
please, come in.

1017
01:00:26,707 --> 01:00:29,043
Thank you.
Come on in.

1018
01:00:30,169 --> 01:00:31,503
How’s he feeling?

1019
01:00:31,670 --> 01:00:34,048
Owie!

1020
01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:36,884
Uh, babe, you okay?

1021
01:00:37,051 --> 01:00:39,762
Ah, it’s coming out
of both ends!

1022
01:00:39,928 --> 01:00:41,764
Do not listen!

1023
01:00:41,930 --> 01:00:45,267
Well, Rafi brought you
some chicken noodle soup.

1024
01:00:45,434 --> 01:00:47,478
<i> Grazie.</i>

1025
01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:51,732
Hey, Cristiano.
Uh, I’m so sorry
you aren’t feeling well.

1026
01:00:51,899 --> 01:00:55,361
Oh, no, it’s okay. I mean,
it’s so terrible in here.

1027
01:00:55,527 --> 01:00:59,365
Um, I-- It’s so moist.
I do not remember eating this!

1028
01:01:01,784 --> 01:01:03,827
Okay. There it is.

1029
01:01:05,579 --> 01:01:07,247
Wow!

1030
01:01:07,414 --> 01:01:09,291
It’s right--

1031
01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:12,461
Does he need help in there?
No. No, he doesn’t.

1032
01:01:12,628 --> 01:01:16,507
Ah, it’s so painful.
It’s like spaghetti.

1033
01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:19,760
- Oh, my God! Babe!

1034
01:01:19,927 --> 01:01:22,429
- Baby, are you okay?

1035
01:01:22,596 --> 01:01:25,724
Uh, Rafi wants to know
if we should come in there
and help you.

1036
01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:27,226
Is that a good idea?

1037
01:01:27,393 --> 01:01:29,353
No! No, do not open the door.

1038
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:32,231
I do not want you
to see or smell me like this.

1039
01:01:32,398 --> 01:01:34,650
You two go and have fun.

1040
01:01:34,817 --> 01:01:38,320
Maybe I can get some sleep
without you poking me
with your little penis.

1041
01:01:38,487 --> 01:01:40,114
Owie, owie.

1042
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:41,698
It’s decently sized.

1043
01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:45,160
That’s just a stupid,
stupid joke that we play.

1044
01:01:46,995 --> 01:01:49,790
Okay, baby.
We’re gonna go out now.

1045
01:01:49,957 --> 01:01:51,333
Ow, ow, ow.

1046
01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:53,627
Nice to
finally meet you,
Cristiano.

1047
01:01:53,794 --> 01:01:55,587
Yes.<i> Ciao.</i>

1048
01:01:56,255 --> 01:01:57,464
Good job.

1049
01:01:59,758 --> 01:02:03,762
Hey, did he mean it
when he said go out?

1050
01:02:05,139 --> 01:02:07,099
Yes. Yes, he is
a man of his word.

1051
01:02:07,266 --> 01:02:08,642
He would want me to go.

1052
01:02:08,809 --> 01:02:10,519
He doesn’t want me
to see him sick.

1053
01:02:10,686 --> 01:02:13,147
Okay, well, I have an idea.

1054
01:02:15,399 --> 01:02:16,650
This side?

1055
01:02:16,817 --> 01:02:18,694
Uh, I’ll go around.
Okay.

1056
01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:22,739
Hey.
How you doing?

1057
01:02:22,906 --> 01:02:24,783
Okay, so what’s in Queens?

1058
01:02:25,409 --> 01:02:27,578
It is a surprise.

1059
01:02:38,839 --> 01:02:41,216
It ain’t running
with the bulls,
but it’ll do.

1060
01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:42,885
This is taking me
all the way back.

1061
01:02:43,051 --> 01:02:45,596
I have not been skating
since I was a kid.

1062
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:47,806
I pretty much grew up here.

1063
01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:50,684
When I was a kid,
I’d tell my parents I was going
to the library to study,

1064
01:02:50,851 --> 01:02:52,311
and I’d come here instead.

1065
01:02:52,478 --> 01:02:53,520
It’s where I found my tribe.

1066
01:02:53,687 --> 01:02:55,564
Right.
Yeah.

1067
01:02:55,731 --> 01:02:58,901
Oh! Here comes trouble.

1068
01:02:59,067 --> 01:03:00,569
Hey, baby.

1069
01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:03,864
Hey, baby.

1070
01:03:04,031 --> 01:03:06,325
Hey, Tasha.
Nice to see you again.

1071
01:03:06,492 --> 01:03:09,161
You too.
Before you get any ideas,
he’s taken.

1072
01:03:09,328 --> 01:03:12,206
By a very impressive man,
so hands off.

1073
01:03:12,372 --> 01:03:14,750
I need you to start
introducing me to guys
who are hands on.

1074
01:03:14,917 --> 01:03:16,376
Okay, next time.

1075
01:03:16,543 --> 01:03:19,004
- You two aren’t together?

1076
01:03:19,171 --> 01:03:21,423
- No, we’re not.
- She’s my best friend.

1077
01:03:21,590 --> 01:03:23,926
And business partner.
Yeah, she’s the other half
of the Aberdeen.

1078
01:03:24,092 --> 01:03:26,637
I got you.
I got you.
Yeah.

1079
01:03:26,803 --> 01:03:28,430
Let’s get out there.
Come on.
Yes.

1080
01:03:28,597 --> 01:03:29,973
See you out there.
Yes.

1081
01:03:30,849 --> 01:03:32,684
Okay. Here, I got you.

1082
01:03:32,851 --> 01:03:34,228
the Disco"]

1083
01:03:34,394 --> 01:03:36,480
Ready? Right, left.
Right, left.

1084
01:03:37,022 --> 01:03:39,233
Yeah, you got it.

1085
01:03:39,399 --> 01:03:42,236
Okay, swerve.
On the beat.

1086
01:03:42,945 --> 01:03:44,988
Whoa! Whoa!

1087
01:03:45,155 --> 01:03:47,991
Sorry, sorry! Shit!

1088
01:03:51,203 --> 01:03:52,496
Not yet.
Was that one of your stunts?

1089
01:03:52,663 --> 01:03:54,373
Oh, funny.

1090
01:03:54,540 --> 01:03:56,083
Yes. Yes, it was.

1091
01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:58,293
Very smooth.
Very smooth.
Carry on.

1092
01:04:51,888 --> 01:04:53,849
Thanks. So, I’m wondering,

1093
01:04:54,016 --> 01:04:56,435
here you are,
this badass stuntman.

1094
01:04:56,602 --> 01:04:59,146
But you said Jake
saved your life?

1095
01:04:59,313 --> 01:05:04,192
That was Halloween, okay?
We were Batman and Robin.
I was Batman.

1096
01:05:04,359 --> 01:05:07,321
We were crossing the street.
This car came at like
three miles per hour.

1097
01:05:07,487 --> 01:05:09,364
And he pushed me
out of the way.

1098
01:05:09,531 --> 01:05:10,616
Cute.

1099
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:12,993
He’s always had my back.

1100
01:05:14,661 --> 01:05:15,954
Even through
all the breakups.

1101
01:05:17,122 --> 01:05:19,124
Have there been
a lot of them?

1102
01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:23,295
Uh, just one,
over and over...

1103
01:05:23,462 --> 01:05:25,088
Yeah, I can relate.

1104
01:05:29,009 --> 01:05:30,510
Thanks.

1105
01:05:32,804 --> 01:05:35,432
<i>Ladies and gentlemen, if you</i>
<i>can please take your seats,</i>

1106
01:05:35,599 --> 01:05:37,726
<i> our keynote speaker</i>
<i> will start momentarily.</i>

1107
01:05:37,893 --> 01:05:39,936
Babe? What are you doing?

1108
01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,730
Go to bed.

1109
01:05:41,897 --> 01:05:44,149
No time. Cristiano’s got
a conference in Singapore.

1110
01:05:44,316 --> 01:05:47,736
<i>Welcome to the stage,</i>
<i>Mr. Cristiano Maradona.</i>
Oh, okay.

1111
01:05:53,408 --> 01:05:56,286
Please, please.

1112
01:05:56,453 --> 01:05:58,413
Please, no clapping.
I’m only a man.

1113
01:05:59,873 --> 01:06:03,335
Thank you so much
for joining us here today.

1114
01:06:03,502 --> 01:06:05,837
What if I told you tickling

1115
01:06:06,004 --> 01:06:08,131
can not only just be fun,
but it can be...

1116
01:06:08,298 --> 01:06:10,842
<i>...beneficial</i>
<i>for your long-term health?</i>

1117
01:06:11,009 --> 01:06:13,762
<i> Tickling, particularly</i>
<i> in my own experience...</i>

1118
01:06:13,929 --> 01:06:17,057
Unbelievable.
<i> ...has proven to help</i>
<i> my partner and I...</i>

1119
01:06:17,224 --> 01:06:20,435
Nice cheap suit, penis trap.
<i> ...connect on a deeper,</i>
<i> more emotional,</i>

1120
01:06:20,602 --> 01:06:22,396
<i> even spiritual level.</i>

1121
01:06:28,443 --> 01:06:30,445
Hey, you guys heading out?

1122
01:06:30,612 --> 01:06:32,239
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

1123
01:06:32,406 --> 01:06:34,157
And it was cool to get
to hang out with you.

1124
01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:37,494
Yeah, you too.
Hey, Andrew.

1125
01:06:38,412 --> 01:06:40,122
You seem like
a really cool guy

1126
01:06:40,288 --> 01:06:43,041
and Rafi seems like he’s having
a lot of fun with you.

1127
01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:45,794
But be careful with him.

1128
01:06:45,961 --> 01:06:47,838
He hasn’t had a lot of
good luck with guys.

1129
01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:50,590
And his last boyfriend was...

1130
01:06:51,925 --> 01:06:54,678
You have a man, right?
So maybe don’t mess around.

1131
01:06:56,096 --> 01:06:58,181
- I’m-- I--
- I’ll see you soon!

1132
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:01,435
Yeah. Yeah.

1133
01:07:11,611 --> 01:07:13,447
- Hey.
- Hey.

1134
01:07:14,489 --> 01:07:17,492
You ready? Let’s go.

1135
01:07:21,413 --> 01:07:22,581
Let me see...

1136
01:07:22,748 --> 01:07:24,583
Oh, come on.
Can we mute this?

1137
01:07:27,627 --> 01:07:29,212
Come on!

1138
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:32,048
Did you have a nice time?

1139
01:07:32,215 --> 01:07:34,384
No, it was terrible.
Oh, shut up.

1140
01:07:36,094 --> 01:07:37,596
Yeah, I did.
I had a great time.

1141
01:07:37,763 --> 01:07:39,598
It was magic.

1142
01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:44,936
Um...

1143
01:07:47,189 --> 01:07:48,982
You mentioned, um...

1144
01:07:50,108 --> 01:07:52,068
I was talking earlier
about breakups,

1145
01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:54,571
and you said that
you could relate.

1146
01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:03,747
I kept going back to my ex.
He was pretty terrible to me.

1147
01:08:03,914 --> 01:08:06,958
Now I can relate.
That’s-- Yeah.

1148
01:08:07,125 --> 01:08:11,421
Basically, I hung in there
until I walked in on him
hooking up with another guy.

1149
01:08:13,507 --> 01:08:15,258
I love New York.

1150
01:08:15,425 --> 01:08:19,137
But it is hard
to find a guy
who’s not gonna lie,

1151
01:08:19,304 --> 01:08:21,598
who just wants to be
honest and committed and,

1152
01:08:21,765 --> 01:08:23,683
shit, I don’t know,

1153
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:26,102
just wants to be in love.

1154
01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:28,104
It should be simple, right?

1155
01:08:31,358 --> 01:08:33,109
Why am I telling you
all this?

1156
01:08:33,693 --> 01:08:35,487
You hit the jackpot.

1157
01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:38,698
<i> Be an Absolut activist.</i>

1158
01:08:38,865 --> 01:08:43,161
You’re really lucky.
You got one of the good ones.

1159
01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:49,042
Yeah.

1160
01:08:49,835 --> 01:08:51,837
Yeah. Super lucky.

1161
01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:21,658
Hello?

1162
01:09:24,077 --> 01:09:25,036
Oh!
Shit.

1163
01:09:25,203 --> 01:09:26,746
Hello, gorgeous.

1164
01:09:26,913 --> 01:09:28,623
Nico,
what are you doing here?

1165
01:09:28,790 --> 01:09:31,918
Isn’t this what
you always wanted?

1166
01:09:32,085 --> 01:09:35,463
Me, waiting for you,
in your bed,

1167
01:09:35,630 --> 01:09:38,675
surrounded by all
your weird kung-fu posters.

1168
01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:40,552
Get out.

1169
01:09:40,719 --> 01:09:43,179
It’s over.
It’s been over.

1170
01:09:44,139 --> 01:09:45,265
Why?

1171
01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:49,895
Because of your new boyfriend?

1172
01:09:50,061 --> 01:09:52,105
I mean, he never seems
to be around.

1173
01:09:52,272 --> 01:09:53,690
That must keep you
warm at night.

1174
01:09:53,857 --> 01:09:55,942
Actually, it has nothing
to do with him.

1175
01:10:02,282 --> 01:10:04,075
Don’t be so mean
to me, baby.

1176
01:10:05,660 --> 01:10:06,745
Okay?

1177
01:10:10,081 --> 01:10:12,417
You know you don’t know
how to quit me.

1178
01:10:15,420 --> 01:10:17,088
Get out.

1179
01:10:21,426 --> 01:10:23,386
You know what, Andrew?

1180
01:10:24,179 --> 01:10:25,972
I don’t lose.

1181
01:10:31,770 --> 01:10:34,814
Yeah? Well, you lost me.

1182
01:10:45,575 --> 01:10:48,411
Yes!

1183
01:10:48,578 --> 01:10:49,829
Yes!

1184
01:10:57,629 --> 01:11:01,800
No. No, unfortunately,
Cristiano can’t make
the photo shoot.

1185
01:11:01,967 --> 01:11:04,469
No, he’s in Bhutan.
But we can send photos.

1186
01:11:05,387 --> 01:11:07,263
Okay. Yeah, that works.

1187
01:11:08,848 --> 01:11:12,185
All right. Well, fantastic.
Yes, we accept yen.

1188
01:11:13,061 --> 01:11:14,980
Okay.

1189
01:11:16,773 --> 01:11:20,026
What’s up, baby?
We can get rid of Cristiano.

1190
01:11:20,193 --> 01:11:24,114
I don’t need him anymore.
And thank you so much
for making him. It worked.

1191
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,949
You’re my best friend
and I love you.

1192
01:11:26,116 --> 01:11:30,328
But we’re good.
I am officially done
with Nico forever.

1193
01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:33,707
I am free and I am ready
to tell Rafi how I feel.

1194
01:11:33,873 --> 01:11:37,752
Okay, we love to hear that.
But we can’t delete
Cristiano just yet.

1195
01:11:37,919 --> 01:11:39,671
Not until at least Q4.

1196
01:11:39,838 --> 01:11:42,048
- I just signed a major
sponsorship for him. It’s crazy.
- What?

1197
01:11:42,215 --> 01:11:45,427
What the hell is Q4?
What the-- What?

1198
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:47,554
What’s with this suit?
Are you--

1199
01:11:49,097 --> 01:11:54,310
Oh. Oh, my God.
You’re literally
turning into him.

1200
01:11:54,477 --> 01:11:58,356
Well, I have the integrity
to wear whatever product
Cristiano endorses.

1201
01:11:59,899 --> 01:12:03,319
Speaking of which,
I tweeted that Cristiano
loved the Surface tablet.

1202
01:12:03,486 --> 01:12:05,697
And bang. Look at that.

1203
01:12:05,864 --> 01:12:07,574
It’s here.
Can you believe that?
Here, it’s yours.

1204
01:12:07,741 --> 01:12:09,576
Oh, hey, Drew.
What’s going on?

1205
01:12:10,452 --> 01:12:12,328
Drew wants to put down
Cristiano.

1206
01:12:12,495 --> 01:12:16,332
Yes! Thank you.
What a great idea. Awesome.

1207
01:12:16,499 --> 01:12:18,960
Traitors. Think about
all that he’s done for us.

1208
01:12:19,127 --> 01:12:22,797
You with your job, and Kelly,
don’t tell me you don’t like
the money and the perks.

1209
01:12:22,964 --> 01:12:26,009
I don’t want
the money or the perks.
I just want our life back.

1210
01:12:26,176 --> 01:12:28,344
Are you sure
you just don’t want
loser Jake back?

1211
01:12:28,511 --> 01:12:31,347
What? What are you
talking about?

1212
01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:33,433
I love you.

1213
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:36,561
This-- This thing
is only driving us apart.

1214
01:12:36,728 --> 01:12:40,356
You made Cristiano
to help Andrew,
and you did.

1215
01:12:40,523 --> 01:12:42,192
There’s no reason
to keep him anymore.

1216
01:12:42,358 --> 01:12:44,235
I-- I can’t
just delete him.

1217
01:12:46,071 --> 01:12:47,739
He’s part of me. I--

1218
01:12:47,906 --> 01:12:49,407
Oh, my God.
Jake, he’s not real.

1219
01:12:49,574 --> 01:12:51,701
He’s real to me, Kelly.

1220
01:12:51,868 --> 01:12:53,787
And millions of other people.

1221
01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:58,708
Drew, you have Rafi.

1222
01:12:58,875 --> 01:13:02,629
Kelly, you have medicine.
What do I have?
I have nothing.

1223
01:13:02,796 --> 01:13:05,131
Cristiano was the best thing
that’s ever happened to me.

1224
01:13:07,550 --> 01:13:10,011
Okay. What do you--

1225
01:13:10,178 --> 01:13:12,764
Kelly, what are you
gonna do? Kelly!

1226
01:13:23,566 --> 01:13:26,027
There’s something
not right here.

1227
01:13:26,194 --> 01:13:27,237
Kelly!

1228
01:13:45,922 --> 01:13:47,882
<i> Scary penis trap!</i>

1229
01:13:48,049 --> 01:13:50,760
<i> You’re penis traps.</i>
<i>You’re penis...</i>

1230
01:14:09,028 --> 01:14:10,530
It’s done.
Oh, you’re done.

1231
01:14:11,656 --> 01:14:12,866
No.

1232
01:14:16,119 --> 01:14:18,163
No.

1233
01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:27,714
<i> Kung Blue,</i>
scene 43, take 1.

1234
01:14:27,881 --> 01:14:29,424
Everybody to one!

1235
01:14:38,057 --> 01:14:39,100
Psst!

1236
01:14:41,060 --> 01:14:42,812
Psst!

1237
01:14:42,979 --> 01:14:46,274
I’m so sorry.

1238
01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:51,446
Action.

1239
01:15:19,766 --> 01:15:22,936
Damn it.
Shit.
Cut, cut, cut.

1240
01:15:25,230 --> 01:15:27,899
- Hey!
- Can we get this man
some water, please?

1241
01:15:28,066 --> 01:15:32,153
Cristiano would want you
to be strong and keep
pushing forward. Oh!

1242
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:35,114
I-I’m fine.
I just have something
in my eye. That’s--

1243
01:15:35,281 --> 01:15:40,203
Hey, hey. I can’t imagine
how you’re coping
with this massive loss.

1244
01:15:40,370 --> 01:15:43,873
I mean, we’ve all suffered
a massive loss today.

1245
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:45,541
No, I--
None more so than you.

1246
01:15:47,335 --> 01:15:49,003
There’s no shame
in emotion, lad.

1247
01:15:49,170 --> 01:15:51,923
But there’s no room
for emotion on a film set.

1248
01:15:52,090 --> 01:15:55,218
When your heart
is healed,

1249
01:15:55,385 --> 01:15:58,179
perhaps then
you can work
on the sequel,

1250
01:15:58,346 --> 01:15:59,639
<i> Kung Bluer.</i>

1251
01:16:00,974 --> 01:16:03,518
Maybe then,
that’s when we’ll reunite.

1252
01:16:03,685 --> 01:16:07,230
But for now,
it’s you time.

1253
01:16:07,397 --> 01:16:11,150
No. No. Not me time.
I’m good.
Yeah. Yeah.

1254
01:16:11,317 --> 01:16:14,237
Come on, son. All right?
It’s you time.

1255
01:16:14,404 --> 01:16:17,365
Say it with me.
"You time."

1256
01:16:17,532 --> 01:16:21,369
You time.
Sitting on the couch,
eating Jammie Dodgers.

1257
01:16:21,536 --> 01:16:23,162
Call Jake.
<i> Calling Jake.</i>

1258
01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:28,251
<i> Are you No’vi from Pandora?</i>
No.

1259
01:16:28,418 --> 01:16:30,461
Not No’vi. Na’vi.

1260
01:16:30,628 --> 01:16:32,714
No, No’vi.
I’m gonna look it up.

1261
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:35,466
I’m not the woman
from<i> Avatar,</i>
you moron.

1262
01:16:35,633 --> 01:16:38,386
Technically, she’s not a woman,
speaking from mythical accuracy.

1263
01:16:38,553 --> 01:16:43,057
Stop with the<i> Avatar</i> shit, bro.
I just got fired
from my dream job.

1264
01:16:43,224 --> 01:16:44,851
I finally booked a real movie,

1265
01:16:45,018 --> 01:16:47,603
and then they sent me home
so that I could grieve.

1266
01:16:50,189 --> 01:16:53,276
Cristiano giveth,
Cristiano taketh away.

1267
01:16:53,443 --> 01:16:54,569
Are you in my room?

1268
01:16:56,821 --> 01:16:58,364
Kelly and I need space.

1269
01:16:58,531 --> 01:17:00,700
What? No. Jake, no.
You guys can’t do that.

1270
01:17:00,867 --> 01:17:03,494
It’s over. I don’t know
how I’m gonna make it
through the funeral.

1271
01:17:03,661 --> 01:17:06,205
- There’s a funeral, Jake?
<i>- BuzzFeed’s gonna host it.</i>

1272
01:17:06,372 --> 01:17:07,832
<i> We both have to wear</i>
<i> white, by the way.</i>

1273
01:17:07,999 --> 01:17:09,917
So let’s try not to be
too matchy-matchy.

1274
01:17:10,084 --> 01:17:12,211
Oh, God.

1275
01:17:17,717 --> 01:17:19,010
There we go.

1276
01:17:19,177 --> 01:17:21,304
Thank you.

1277
01:17:24,265 --> 01:17:27,477
Okay, right there. Perfect.
Right here, honey.

1278
01:17:27,643 --> 01:17:31,397
We have mugs,
onesies and tees.

1279
01:17:36,486 --> 01:17:38,154
How are there so many people?

1280
01:17:38,321 --> 01:17:41,240
Cristiano had close to
three million Insta followers.

1281
01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:43,659
Plus, the little Maradonites,
his Twitter army,

1282
01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:45,745
and all the followers
of his medical blog.

1283
01:17:45,912 --> 01:17:48,664
- Medical blog?
- Kelly’s contribution.

1284
01:17:48,831 --> 01:17:50,875
Before she turned on me.

1285
01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:54,337
Not that you would know.
You never really followed
or appreciated him.

1286
01:17:56,214 --> 01:17:58,383
You talking about him
or you talking about you?

1287
01:17:58,549 --> 01:17:59,759
You never thanked
either of us.

1288
01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:04,097
Thank you, Jake.
Thank you for creating
my fake boyfriend

1289
01:18:04,263 --> 01:18:06,265
so that we could fake murder him
and then we could have

1290
01:18:06,432 --> 01:18:08,601
this ridiculous,
all-white fake funeral.

1291
01:18:10,186 --> 01:18:12,688
First, I find your sincerity
a little lacking.

1292
01:18:12,855 --> 01:18:15,191
Second, Kelly killed him,
with your help.

1293
01:18:15,358 --> 01:18:17,193
Third, do not use
the word "murder."

1294
01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:18,945
I’ve had to fight hard
to squash those rumors.

1295
01:18:19,112 --> 01:18:21,280
Mechanical difficulties
brought the plane down.

1296
01:18:21,447 --> 01:18:23,491
So i-if anyone asks,

1297
01:18:23,658 --> 01:18:26,452
just mumble something
about Inner Mongolia,
old planes and start crying.

1298
01:18:26,619 --> 01:18:27,995
I’ll handle the rest.

1299
01:18:38,673 --> 01:18:39,757
Andrew.

1300
01:18:42,635 --> 01:18:44,512
Jake told me not to call,
but I wanted to be here.

1301
01:18:44,679 --> 01:18:47,473
How are you holding up?
I’m fine. I’m--

1302
01:18:47,640 --> 01:18:51,352
Yeah, um, thank you for--
Thanks for coming.
Of course.

1303
01:18:51,519 --> 01:18:53,396
All right.
You’ve had enough time.

1304
01:18:53,563 --> 01:18:55,523
Keep it moving.
Big line, guys.

1305
01:18:55,690 --> 01:18:58,860
Look, anything you need,
you just let me know, okay?
Yeah.

1306
01:18:59,026 --> 01:19:00,778
You guys too,
on that side.

1307
01:19:00,945 --> 01:19:04,657
Did you-- No.
Did you guys touch him?

1308
01:19:04,824 --> 01:19:06,784
He’s completely dirty.

1309
01:19:06,951 --> 01:19:08,911
I said no touching.

1310
01:19:09,078 --> 01:19:10,872
Did you put up the sign?

1311
01:19:41,652 --> 01:19:44,780
<i> Hey, it’s Kelly.</i>
<i> Leave me a message.</i>

1312
01:19:47,742 --> 01:19:50,870
It’s okay to cry, baby.
Go on.

1313
01:19:51,037 --> 01:19:52,705
That’s it. Let it out.

1314
01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:57,627
Before we get started,
I’d like to thank our sponsor,

1315
01:19:57,793 --> 01:19:59,003
Absolut Vodka.

1316
01:19:59,170 --> 01:20:01,756
Why is Absolut Vodka
sponsoring this?

1317
01:20:01,923 --> 01:20:04,091
- How else were we
gonna pay for all this?
- Shh! Quiet.

1318
01:20:04,258 --> 01:20:08,095
So what can be said
about Cristiano Maradona?

1319
01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:09,680
It’s safe to say
he was loved.

1320
01:20:09,847 --> 01:20:12,225
Sadly, I never knew him.

1321
01:20:12,391 --> 01:20:17,396
But our friend Jake
has given me a rather
extensive personal history

1322
01:20:17,563 --> 01:20:19,524
that he’d like me
to share with you.

1323
01:20:22,610 --> 01:20:28,574
Cristiano Maradona was born
in a small fishing village
on the isle of Sardinia.

1324
01:20:28,741 --> 01:20:32,703
He was a wee baby--
three pounds, three ounces.

1325
01:20:32,870 --> 01:20:34,956
Thank you.
The medical profession,

1326
01:20:35,122 --> 01:20:37,917
his mother, his father

1327
01:20:38,084 --> 01:20:39,627
never believed he’d survive.

1328
01:20:39,794 --> 01:20:41,504
He was a miracle...

1329
01:20:41,671 --> 01:20:45,091
But that wasn’t the last time
that the pope recruited him

1330
01:20:45,258 --> 01:20:47,552
for a sacred
and dangerous mission.

1331
01:20:47,718 --> 01:20:49,220
Make it stop.

1332
01:20:49,387 --> 01:20:51,138
Yeah.

1333
01:20:51,305 --> 01:20:53,349
Thank you, sweet Jesus.

1334
01:20:53,516 --> 01:20:55,935
Now I’d like
to open up the floor.

1335
01:20:56,102 --> 01:20:58,980
Would anyone like to share
a memory of Cristiano?
No!

1336
01:20:59,689 --> 01:21:00,731
No, Mom. No--

1337
01:21:00,898 --> 01:21:01,941
It’s okay. It’s okay.

1338
01:21:02,108 --> 01:21:03,150
Mom.

1339
01:21:05,194 --> 01:21:08,739
Hi, I’m Lucille.
I’m Andrew’s mother.

1340
01:21:08,906 --> 01:21:13,744
Andrew’s coming out
wasn’t always smooth for me.

1341
01:21:13,911 --> 01:21:16,914
It’s not that
I loved him any less.

1342
01:21:17,081 --> 01:21:20,918
It’s-- Well, it’s just
that I feared that

1343
01:21:21,085 --> 01:21:25,214
his happiness would be
harder to come by.

1344
01:21:25,381 --> 01:21:29,302
But in the short time
Andrew and Cristiano
were together,

1345
01:21:29,468 --> 01:21:34,807
I witnessed my son
happier than he’s ever been.

1346
01:21:36,183 --> 01:21:40,896
I know that most of you
know Cristiano for his activism,

1347
01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:45,234
but there was another side
to him that Andrew
actually shared with me.

1348
01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:47,820
He actually taught
cooking classes

1349
01:21:47,987 --> 01:21:51,198
for seniors and teens...

1350
01:21:51,365 --> 01:21:53,034
...and other people
in the community.

1351
01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:56,162
And that’s where
Andrew and Cristiano met.

1352
01:21:56,329 --> 01:21:58,289
Before these classes,

1353
01:21:58,456 --> 01:22:01,083
my son couldn’t cook an egg
if you cracked it for him.

1354
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:08,090
I think that Cristiano
taught Andrew that

1355
01:22:09,133 --> 01:22:12,386
food is a way
of expressing love.

1356
01:22:12,553 --> 01:22:17,099
And since those classes,
I have witnessed my son

1357
01:22:17,266 --> 01:22:20,311
grow in beautiful ways.

1358
01:22:21,562 --> 01:22:26,108
So, Cristiano,
thank you for loving my baby,

1359
01:22:26,275 --> 01:22:29,403
and for making him
into an even better man.

1360
01:22:29,570 --> 01:22:32,865
You are an absolute angel.

1361
01:22:36,243 --> 01:22:38,704
Would you like
to say something?

1362
01:22:38,871 --> 01:22:41,374
Oh, no. Sorry, Father.
I just need to go.

1363
01:22:41,540 --> 01:22:46,337
Why? Things are just about
to get interesting.

1364
01:22:46,504 --> 01:22:50,466
Ladies and gentlemen,

1365
01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:55,721
you have all...
been lied to.

1366
01:22:55,888 --> 01:22:58,641
I’m sorry.
Are you a friend
of the deceased?

1367
01:22:58,808 --> 01:23:01,143
Oh, the deceased?
Oh, Father.

1368
01:23:01,310 --> 01:23:04,021
You can’t be deceased

1369
01:23:04,188 --> 01:23:08,776
if you were never alive
in the first place!

1370
01:23:08,943 --> 01:23:10,569
Don’t worry.
I thought of everything.

1371
01:23:10,736 --> 01:23:12,446
There’s a reason
it’s a closed casket!

1372
01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:14,365
What the-- No!

1373
01:23:14,532 --> 01:23:15,866
Okay.
No, no, no.
Jake and Andrew

1374
01:23:16,033 --> 01:23:18,285
wanted this to look
like a real funeral--

1375
01:23:18,452 --> 01:23:20,538
Have some respect for the dead!
Back off, you bleached asshole.

1376
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:26,836
- Yes!

1377
01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:29,505
- Jesus.
- I told you!
Cristiano is fake!

1378
01:23:29,672 --> 01:23:32,049
Oh, my God...

1379
01:23:32,216 --> 01:23:33,384
Oh, my God.

1380
01:23:36,637 --> 01:23:39,432
These-- These are lies!

1381
01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:43,227
Rafi, I’m sorry, please.
I can explain. Wait.
I can explain.

1382
01:23:43,394 --> 01:23:46,439
I don’t know what this is,
but I need to remove myself
from this situation.

1383
01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:47,857
This is a lie!

1384
01:23:49,066 --> 01:23:50,317
Also, there’s a fire.

1385
01:23:52,820 --> 01:23:54,405
Fire!

1386
01:23:55,906 --> 01:23:57,575
Fire!

1387
01:23:57,742 --> 01:24:01,162
These--
These are lies. Lies!

1388
01:24:01,328 --> 01:24:05,708
Melinda! This is
the best bloody funeral
I’ve ever been to.

1389
01:24:11,547 --> 01:24:13,966
Thank you, Andrew.

1390
01:24:14,133 --> 01:24:16,886
I just got 400,000
new followers.

1391
01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:18,637
Who’s winning now?

1392
01:24:23,642 --> 01:24:27,938
Fire’s out.
You’re all safe.
For now.

1393
01:24:28,105 --> 01:24:32,777
But when you die,
I’m pretty sure
you’ll both burn in hell.

1394
01:24:32,943 --> 01:24:35,696
Take care now.
Jesus loves you.

1395
01:25:07,102 --> 01:25:08,854
All out. Oh.

1396
01:25:14,819 --> 01:25:16,278
Have a good class.

1397
01:26:26,390 --> 01:26:30,311
She just needs a minute.
May-- Maybe she needs
a couple minutes.

1398
01:26:32,897 --> 01:26:35,941
You know we weren’t
supposed to meet, right?
What are you talking about?

1399
01:26:36,108 --> 01:26:38,736
Have I not told you this story?
It was an accident.

1400
01:26:38,903 --> 01:26:41,030
She actually meant
to swipe left on me,

1401
01:26:41,196 --> 01:26:45,910
but she was out with
her girlfriends, karaoke,

1402
01:26:46,076 --> 01:26:48,913
had a lot of spritzers,
accidentally swiped right,

1403
01:26:49,079 --> 01:26:51,498
and then dropped her phone
in the toilet. Yeah.

1404
01:26:51,665 --> 01:26:54,168
So, I met the love of my life
because of a mistake.

1405
01:27:03,093 --> 01:27:05,763
Mr. Jiang. Hey.

1406
01:27:12,311 --> 01:27:13,812
I really need your help.

1407
01:27:14,730 --> 01:27:16,523
I screwed up.
You know that.

1408
01:27:18,484 --> 01:27:20,444
But I’ve gotta help
my friends.

1409
01:27:20,611 --> 01:27:22,863
I’ve gotta show Rafi
the real me.

1410
01:27:23,030 --> 01:27:24,823
And I don’t know
if he’s gonna forgive me.

1411
01:27:24,990 --> 01:27:27,451
I don’t know
if I can fix
Jake and Kelly,

1412
01:27:27,618 --> 01:27:30,287
but I at least
gotta try.

1413
01:27:30,454 --> 01:27:33,457
That’s the most sensible thing
you’ve ever said.

1414
01:27:33,624 --> 01:27:35,834
Mr. Jiang,
you’re talking to me.

1415
01:27:39,713 --> 01:27:44,051
Well, you finally stopped
going on with your ex-boyfriend

1416
01:27:44,218 --> 01:27:47,179
and the fake one
you and your idiot friend
made up.

1417
01:27:47,346 --> 01:27:51,600
- That’s a little harsh.
- I like you, though.
You’re a nice kid.

1418
01:27:51,767 --> 01:27:54,103
Although, you’re
a little bit dense up here.

1419
01:27:54,269 --> 01:27:56,981
That’s still harsh,
but I’ll-- I’ll take that.

1420
01:27:57,147 --> 01:27:59,900
There’s a saying in Chinese.

1421
01:28:03,070 --> 01:28:04,238
What does that mean?

1422
01:28:05,030 --> 01:28:07,116
Don’t fuck with love.

1423
01:28:07,282 --> 01:28:10,911
You see, love is
the best thing in life.

1424
01:28:11,078 --> 01:28:15,499
And you have to stay open to it
for it to find you,

1425
01:28:15,666 --> 01:28:19,545
and if it does,
you do everything
in your power

1426
01:28:19,712 --> 01:28:23,465
to hold onto it
for as long as you can.

1427
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:32,975
So what’s the plan?

1428
01:28:35,686 --> 01:28:38,397
"Work It"]

1429
01:29:08,927 --> 01:29:12,181
I am so proud
of you both
for fighting.

1430
01:29:13,015 --> 01:29:14,224
Come here.

1431
01:29:16,435 --> 01:29:19,938
Mmm! Go get ’em back.

1432
01:29:24,735 --> 01:29:26,653
Kelly,
what are you doing here?

1433
01:29:26,820 --> 01:29:29,490
Mr. Jiang said
he wasn’t feeling well
and asked me to check in on him.

1434
01:29:30,949 --> 01:29:33,869
That’s weird. He asked me
to take him grocery shopping.

1435
01:29:35,287 --> 01:29:37,706
Ah! There you are.
Welcome.

1436
01:29:37,873 --> 01:29:40,334
Thank you for joining us
this evening.

1437
01:29:40,501 --> 01:29:41,460
Come on.

1438
01:29:41,627 --> 01:29:42,753
Hmm.

1439
01:29:51,929 --> 01:29:54,556
Jake and Andrew
would like to talk to you.

1440
01:29:55,557 --> 01:29:58,602
Hey, come on.
Come on. You too.

1441
01:29:58,769 --> 01:30:00,104
Hi.

1442
01:30:03,315 --> 01:30:04,525
Hi.

1443
01:30:06,735 --> 01:30:09,154
So, I--
I made this meal

1444
01:30:09,321 --> 01:30:10,864
to show you
how I feel about you.

1445
01:30:11,031 --> 01:30:12,908
And you can stay or go,

1446
01:30:13,075 --> 01:30:16,328
but I hope you can eat first,

1447
01:30:16,495 --> 01:30:18,080
and I can maybe talk.

1448
01:30:20,082 --> 01:30:22,960
Kelly, I suck.

1449
01:30:23,127 --> 01:30:25,963
You were right.
I got in way too deep.

1450
01:30:26,130 --> 01:30:30,008
I love you,
and I should have
been more honest

1451
01:30:30,175 --> 01:30:33,178
about what was going on
inside me, so...

1452
01:30:35,347 --> 01:30:38,183
Also, you’re here now,
so might as well eat.

1453
01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:43,272
Is there wine?
Wine helps me listen.

1454
01:30:44,064 --> 01:30:45,149
Yes, we have it.

1455
01:30:46,650 --> 01:30:47,943
Kelly really needs this.

1456
01:30:51,405 --> 01:30:52,447
That’ll do.

1457
01:30:59,371 --> 01:31:01,331
"Favorite Song"]

1458
01:31:01,498 --> 01:31:03,292
Wow, you guys
made all of this.

1459
01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:06,837
I’m impressed.
And you made me baklava?

1460
01:31:08,338 --> 01:31:10,716
I tried. I tried
to make you baklava.

1461
01:31:19,016 --> 01:31:20,434
Do you like it?

1462
01:31:22,269 --> 01:31:23,854
I love it.

1463
01:31:27,941 --> 01:31:29,860
Can I have this dance?

1464
01:31:35,199 --> 01:31:36,825
I’m sorry too.

1465
01:31:36,992 --> 01:31:41,955
I just-- I want you
to believe in yourself
as much as I do.

1466
01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:44,791
I love you.

1467
01:31:50,631 --> 01:31:52,007
Thank you.

1468
01:31:54,927 --> 01:31:56,011
Thank you.

1469
01:32:09,274 --> 01:32:11,818
So, what did you
want to tell me?

1470
01:32:14,321 --> 01:32:16,365
I wanted to apologize
for lying to you.

1471
01:32:17,532 --> 01:32:19,368
This whole fake boyfriend thing,
you know, it started

1472
01:32:19,534 --> 01:32:23,330
because I thought I knew
what love was.

1473
01:32:23,497 --> 01:32:24,790
But I was wrong.

1474
01:32:25,999 --> 01:32:28,502
And that had me stay with a man

1475
01:32:28,669 --> 01:32:30,712
that I just should have
never been with.

1476
01:32:32,256 --> 01:32:35,759
And then, as silly as it is,
Cristiano helped me--

1477
01:32:35,926 --> 01:32:38,053
He helped me
stay away from that.

1478
01:32:39,263 --> 01:32:42,349
Helped me at my job.
Helped me with confidence.

1479
01:32:44,935 --> 01:32:46,395
And then I met you.

1480
01:32:48,355 --> 01:32:51,608
And that showed me
what real love could look like.

1481
01:32:51,775 --> 01:32:54,152
Rafi, I don’t know--

1482
01:32:54,319 --> 01:32:57,781
I don’t know what you want
to do with this. I don’t know
how you feel about me, but...

1483
01:33:25,183 --> 01:33:26,560
If I’m honest...

1484
01:33:28,228 --> 01:33:31,773
I’d have to admit
that I hated that
you had a boyfriend.

1485
01:33:34,401 --> 01:33:37,070
I think I’m the only one
who was happy he wasn’t real.

1486
01:33:38,739 --> 01:33:44,077
It maybe sounds like
you wanna be my real boyfriend.

1487
01:33:44,244 --> 01:33:48,623
I think a man who would do this
for me and his friends

1488
01:33:49,916 --> 01:33:52,669
is a man I’d love to be
my real boyfriend.

1489
01:34:10,145 --> 01:34:11,605
Finally.

1490
01:34:21,239 --> 01:34:22,908
Oh, I love!

1491
01:34:41,093 --> 01:34:43,720
Yeah, baby, you’re good.
And tango and switch.