1 00:00:03,797 --> 00:00:06,091 (grand orchestral fanfare playing) 2 00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:30,699 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:37,289 --> 00:00:39,582 (dogs barking) 4 00:00:41,293 --> 00:00:43,461 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,014 (birds chirping) 6 00:00:54,014 --> 00:00:57,309 ("Follow You" by Dave Sarazen playing) 7 00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:03,356 REGGIE: Today is gonna be the best day ever. 8 00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:04,858 How do I know that? 9 00:01:04,858 --> 00:01:06,693 Because every day is the best day ever. 10 00:01:06,693 --> 00:01:08,778 I love my life. 11 00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:11,990 I love sunshine, I love butterflies, 12 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:16,286 but more than anything, I love Doug. 13 00:01:16,286 --> 00:01:18,455 - (barking) - Hey! 14 00:01:18,455 --> 00:01:20,290 Shut the fuck up. 15 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,459 Fucking piece of shit. 16 00:01:22,459 --> 00:01:24,794 REGGIE: That's Doug, also known as 17 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,546 the best owner in the world. 18 00:01:26,546 --> 00:01:28,506 - (barks) - (mocking grunt) 19 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:31,259 I still remember the first day we met. 20 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,887 She was, too, flirting with you. -(Reggie barks) 21 00:01:33,887 --> 00:01:36,222 (gasps) Hey, babies. 22 00:01:36,222 --> 00:01:38,933 REGGIE: The second Doug laid eyes on me, 23 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:41,269 we knew we were meant to be together. 24 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,937 (sighs): Fuck. 25 00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:46,316 REGGIE: Ever since that day, he and I have been inseparable. 26 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,818 Why is Doug so great? 27 00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,236 - Where do I begin? - Get down. 28 00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:52,614 He loves being around me so much, 29 00:01:52,614 --> 00:01:54,824 he doesn't even have a job. 30 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:58,745 Also, Doug doesn't get me boring dog toys. 31 00:01:58,745 --> 00:02:00,872 He lets me come up with my own toys. 32 00:02:00,872 --> 00:02:02,290 Hi, Reggie. What you got? 33 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,501 REGGIE: Like this stretchy thing. 34 00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:06,836 - What the fuck? - Uh... 35 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:07,962 Those aren't mine. 36 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,839 There is a simple explanation. 37 00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:11,424 This was supposed to be a Christmas present. 38 00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:12,592 Doug, it's July. 39 00:02:12,592 --> 00:02:14,094 REGGIE: Sometimes I worry 40 00:02:14,094 --> 00:02:16,012 if I'm doing a good job making Doug happy. 41 00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:17,764 - You don't get it. - I'm done. Reggie. 42 00:02:17,764 --> 00:02:19,849 REGGIE: But then I realized I do make Doug happy. 43 00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:22,185 What are you doing? You don't even like the dog. 44 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,187 I love this dog. (smacking lips) 45 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,772 REGGIE: And that makes me happy. 46 00:02:25,772 --> 00:02:28,525 (sighs) -All that matters is that you like him, 47 00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:30,777 and I like that you don't get to have him. 48 00:02:30,777 --> 00:02:33,655 You are a total fucking loser. 49 00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:35,865 - Yeah, a loser with a dog. - (door slams shut) 50 00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:38,701 REGGIE: Honestly, the only thing in the world 51 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:41,413 that Doug maybe loves more than me 52 00:02:41,413 --> 00:02:44,416 is his favorite toy: his penis. 53 00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:46,209 He gives it haircuts. 54 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,669 He watches TV with it. 55 00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:49,379 WOMAN (over computer): (moans) Flip it around! 56 00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:50,630 Stop staring. You're ruining it. 57 00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:52,674 REGGIE: And the way he pets that thing, 58 00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:55,301 sometimes I wish I was a penis. 59 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,886 But every time I try to play with it, 60 00:02:56,886 --> 00:02:58,721 he gets so possessive. 61 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:00,223 Get off! Get-- Bad dog! 62 00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,933 REGGIE: The key to any good relationship 63 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:03,309 is having things in common. 64 00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:04,561 We both like barking. 65 00:03:04,561 --> 00:03:07,021 - (coughing) - (barking) 66 00:03:08,148 --> 00:03:10,191 We both love a good scratch. 67 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,860 (Doug sniffing) 68 00:03:13,945 --> 00:03:18,700 And we can stay up all night just talking for hours. 69 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,034 (groans) 70 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,995 You fucked up my life, didn't you? 71 00:03:21,995 --> 00:03:24,247 REGGIE: Even though I don't understand what he's saying... 72 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:28,251 She never would've found out if it wasn't for your dumb ass. 73 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,587 REGGIE: ...I can tell he loves me. 74 00:03:30,587 --> 00:03:32,005 (knocking at door) 75 00:03:33,089 --> 00:03:35,425 And while I don't know that many human beings, 76 00:03:35,425 --> 00:03:38,344 I think it's safe to assume he's one of the best. 77 00:03:38,344 --> 00:03:40,472 (sighs) Goddamn it. 78 00:03:40,472 --> 00:03:41,973 It's bullshit, Mom. 79 00:03:41,973 --> 00:03:43,433 They're kicking me out 80 00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:45,185 'cause your last check wasn't enough for rent. 81 00:03:45,185 --> 00:03:47,353 REGGIE: You might say Doug is messy, but lately... 82 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,355 DOUG: No, I'm not gonna move back home. 83 00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,732 REGGIE: ...he's been much better 84 00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:52,066 at putting his toys away. 85 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,526 No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Look. 86 00:03:53,526 --> 00:03:55,069 It's just, you know that I can't 87 00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:57,280 live that close to a school. 88 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,366 No! 89 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:07,540 Bad dog! That's my favorite fucking bong, dude! 90 00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,294 (sighs) 91 00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:16,674 Oh. You like that ball, don't you? 92 00:04:17,926 --> 00:04:19,719 REGGIE: Lately, Doug has been playing 93 00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:22,222 a brand-new game with me called fetch-and-fuck. 94 00:04:22,222 --> 00:04:23,556 Fetch! 95 00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:25,058 REGGIE: Basically, Doug drops me off 96 00:04:25,058 --> 00:04:26,851 really far away... 97 00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,561 Sayonara, ke-mo sah-bee. 98 00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:31,856 REGGIE: ...throws the ball and drives home without me. 99 00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:34,067 Then it's my turn to get the ball 100 00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:35,652 and find my way back home. 101 00:04:35,652 --> 00:04:37,529 When I bring the ball back, 102 00:04:37,529 --> 00:04:39,239 - he says... - Fuck. 103 00:04:39,239 --> 00:04:42,283 REGGIE (laughs): And that's how I know I won the game. 104 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,576 DOUG: Fetch! 105 00:04:44,661 --> 00:04:46,621 REGGIE: We've been playing it a lot lately. 106 00:04:46,621 --> 00:04:48,122 - DOUG: Fuck! - Sometimes we play it 107 00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:49,999 three or four times in the same day. 108 00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:51,209 DOUG: Fetch! 109 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:53,545 - (Reggie barks) - (sighs): Fuck. 110 00:04:53,545 --> 00:04:55,338 Fetch! Fuck! 111 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,549 Fuck! Fuck. 112 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,095 Holy fuck! 113 00:05:02,095 --> 00:05:03,513 REGGIE: "Holy fuck" is right. 114 00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:04,764 I win again! 115 00:05:04,764 --> 00:05:06,641 That's it. 116 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,061 This ends now. 117 00:05:10,061 --> 00:05:11,646 ("Shine on Me" by Dan Auerbach playing) 118 00:05:11,646 --> 00:05:14,065 ♪ You only got a couple miles to go ♪ 119 00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:16,109 ♪ If you're trying to drive me insane... ♪ 120 00:05:16,109 --> 00:05:18,570 REGGIE: These road trips are the best. 121 00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:21,030 Because you get to see the exciting world 122 00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:22,657 outside our town. 123 00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:27,829 Keep driving, Doug. 124 00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:30,039 Don't make it too easy on me. 125 00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:32,584 (chuckles) I love a challenge. 126 00:05:32,584 --> 00:05:36,337 ♪ 'Cause I hide from everyone ♪ 127 00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,756 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 128 00:05:39,591 --> 00:05:41,718 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 129 00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:45,471 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 130 00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:48,766 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 131 00:05:51,311 --> 00:05:53,813 This round's gonna be the hardest one yet, 132 00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:57,900 because we went way further than we've ever gone before. 133 00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:01,154 In fact, I have no idea where we are. 134 00:06:01,154 --> 00:06:02,655 And that's exciting. 135 00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:04,365 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 136 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,951 ♪ Shine on me... ♪ 137 00:06:06,951 --> 00:06:09,996 I know the world seems like a scary place sometimes, 138 00:06:09,996 --> 00:06:11,623 but I don't worry. 139 00:06:11,623 --> 00:06:13,166 Good luck fetching this. 140 00:06:13,166 --> 00:06:15,710 REGGIE: Because I'm always safe at Doug's side. 141 00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:17,545 ♪ Shine on me ♪ 142 00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:19,631 (tires squealing) 143 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,593 (fading): ♪ Shine on me. ♪ 144 00:06:34,771 --> 00:06:37,815 ♪ ♪ 145 00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:53,373 ♪ ♪ 146 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:03,675 REGGIE: Sure, Doug really challenges me with this game, 147 00:07:03,675 --> 00:07:06,344 but that's just because he believes in me. 148 00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:08,304 (thunder rumbling) 149 00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:10,098 You know what they say. 150 00:07:10,098 --> 00:07:13,559 The best relationships are the hard ones. 151 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,562 You have to put in the work. 152 00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:19,440 - (clattering) - You got to have courage. 153 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,236 And you always need to remember that real love... 154 00:07:24,696 --> 00:07:27,115 ...is never easy. 155 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,419 ♪ ♪ 156 00:07:49,262 --> 00:07:51,931 But even though I love this game, 157 00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:54,767 I kind of want it to be over. 158 00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:57,145 Because, well... 159 00:07:57,145 --> 00:07:59,689 I really just want to be home. 160 00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:08,656 (horn honks) 161 00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:12,201 (dog barking nearby) 162 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:15,204 Okay. Time to get moving. 163 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,874 (singsongy): Going back to Doug's. 164 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,003 (siren wailing in distance) 165 00:08:22,003 --> 00:08:23,880 (muffled): This is a nice neighborhood. 166 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,506 - (cat yowling nearby) - (clattering) 167 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,425 I like all the trash. 168 00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:28,885 And the needles. 169 00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:30,887 So many needles. 170 00:08:31,763 --> 00:08:33,139 FEMALE VOICE: Hey, honey. 171 00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:35,641 You ever been with an Afghan before? 172 00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:39,645 REGGIE: Uh, no, I-I don't think so, but thank you. 173 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:45,109 Well, well, well. What do we have here? 174 00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:46,402 You lost? 175 00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:48,613 Hi there, uh, big dogs. 176 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,656 Yes, I am lost. 177 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:52,241 I'm trying to get to Doug's place. 178 00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,076 Do you... do you know which way that is from here? 179 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,495 Hmm... 180 00:08:55,495 --> 00:08:56,996 - You say Doug's place? - I did. Yeah. 181 00:08:56,996 --> 00:08:58,998 Oh, yeah, yeah, I know which way that is. 182 00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:00,166 Oh, great. 183 00:09:00,166 --> 00:09:02,001 Right up my fucking ass, you little shit. 184 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,669 Oh, no, that can't be right. 185 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:06,923 O-O-Okay, well, I'll just be on my way. 186 00:09:06,923 --> 00:09:09,217 Uh, can-can I please have my ball back? 187 00:09:09,217 --> 00:09:12,178 Your ball? You'll be lucky if I let you leave with your life. 188 00:09:12,178 --> 00:09:15,056 Hey! Who in the fuck is making all that noise 189 00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:17,099 - in my fucking alley? - Whoa, who's this guy? 190 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,810 Oh, you don't want me to come around 191 00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:20,686 this fucking corner, now, do you? 192 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:22,647 Shit's gonna get crackin'. Trust me. 193 00:09:22,647 --> 00:09:24,524 You want to dance, motherfuckers, huh? 194 00:09:24,524 --> 00:09:25,983 You want to dance? 195 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,361 Let's do this. 196 00:09:28,361 --> 00:09:30,613 What's up, bitches? Huh? 197 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:31,864 Oh, he's tiny. 198 00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:33,241 The shadow-- I thought he was... 199 00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:34,617 I thought he was fucking big. 200 00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,452 Yeah, we can destroy this guy, right? 201 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:39,163 Yeah, go ahead, bite me, you raggedy motherfuckers. 202 00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:40,498 I dare you. 203 00:09:40,498 --> 00:09:42,375 You know how many diseases is up in me? 204 00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:45,044 Rabies, scabies, whatever disease you can get 205 00:09:45,044 --> 00:09:46,838 from tongue-fucking a dead squirrel. 206 00:09:46,838 --> 00:09:50,216 Which I did last night 'cause I'm crazy, man. 207 00:09:50,216 --> 00:09:51,259 (sputters) 208 00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:53,052 That's a 37-inch vertical. 209 00:09:53,052 --> 00:09:55,012 I'm-a tell you right now, you run up on me 210 00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:57,765 and I'll stick this paw right up your ass and in his, 211 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,642 - like a shish kebab. - Whoa. This guy seems nuts. 212 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:01,644 Look at the way he's barking at his own ass. 213 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,062 I'll do it. I'll do it. 214 00:10:03,062 --> 00:10:04,647 I'll bite my own ass off! 215 00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:07,108 Oh, man, the fuck is wrong with this guy? 216 00:10:07,108 --> 00:10:08,985 I'm so crazy I'll fuck the trash. 217 00:10:08,985 --> 00:10:10,361 You like it, don't you? 218 00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:11,487 (grunts) You like it. 219 00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:12,697 You want to get recycled? 220 00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:14,198 Anybody got a twisty tie? 221 00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:16,075 'Cause I'm fucking this bag up. 222 00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:17,326 Okay, who's next? 223 00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:18,828 He's freaking me out. Let's bounce. 224 00:10:18,828 --> 00:10:20,872 Fight you or I'll fuck you! Dealer's choice. 225 00:10:20,872 --> 00:10:23,082 But either way, you're getting worms. 226 00:10:23,082 --> 00:10:24,417 (laughs) 227 00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:26,335 Large breeds, man-- these motherfuckers. 228 00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:30,047 Man, look, always falling for that crazy little dog trick. 229 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,299 Hey. You with me, kid? 230 00:10:31,299 --> 00:10:32,550 'Cause this block ain't for dogs like you. 231 00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:33,801 We should get the hell out of here. 232 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,428 But my tennis ball... 233 00:10:35,428 --> 00:10:37,263 Ah, fuck it. We'll get you another one. 234 00:10:40,558 --> 00:10:42,226 (dog barking nearby) 235 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,979 I'm Bug, by the way. You got a name? 236 00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:46,188 Oh, uh, right. Sorry. 237 00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,440 It's good to meet you, Bug. 238 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:48,733 M-My name is Shitbag. 239 00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:50,026 What? 240 00:10:50,026 --> 00:10:51,903 Oh, it's short for Dumbass Shitbag, 241 00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:54,614 but sometimes Doug pronounces it Fucknugget. 242 00:10:54,614 --> 00:10:57,199 Uh, none of those sound like names. 243 00:10:57,199 --> 00:11:01,412 Oh. Well, Doug's lady friend used to call me Reggie. 244 00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:03,873 Reggie. There you go. Yeah, we're gonna go with that. 245 00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:05,207 Let's keep moving. 246 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,501 So, uh, how long you been a stray for, Reggie? 247 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,712 - Oh, I... no, I'm not a stray. - Oh, you're not? 248 00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:11,797 I-I'm just out here temporarily. -Oh. 249 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,424 I actually have an owner. 250 00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:15,968 We're playing this game where he drops me off far away... 251 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:17,178 - Mm-hmm. - ...throws a ball... 252 00:11:17,178 --> 00:11:18,346 - Right. - ...and then it's my turn 253 00:11:18,346 --> 00:11:19,805 to bring the ball back home. 254 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,474 (laughing) 255 00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:23,476 (Reggie chuckling) 256 00:11:23,476 --> 00:11:25,144 (both laughing) 257 00:11:25,144 --> 00:11:26,646 BUG: Holy shit. 258 00:11:26,646 --> 00:11:28,522 - Yeah. - That's, uh... 259 00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:29,982 (stammering): I'm sorry, man, 260 00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,651 but that's incredibly tragic. 261 00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:33,319 And the funniest fucking thing 262 00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:35,279 I've heard in a long fucking time. 263 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,906 Well, I'm glad you're having a good laugh. 264 00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:39,158 Take it from me, kid, that owner of yours, 265 00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:41,369 he's not playing any game with you. 266 00:11:41,369 --> 00:11:43,412 - He left your ass, okay? - Huh? 267 00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,998 You are officially a stray. 268 00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:47,249 D-Don't call me that. 269 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,876 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 270 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:51,754 I'm a stray, and I'm having the time of my life. 271 00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,673 You'll learn. How old are you? 272 00:11:53,673 --> 00:11:54,882 I'm two. 273 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:57,385 Well, I'm three, and I have seen it all. 274 00:11:57,385 --> 00:11:58,678 Paw to God. 275 00:11:58,678 --> 00:12:00,930 I once saw a dog that was half Labrador 276 00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:02,431 and half poodle. 277 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,308 - A-A labradoodle. - No, no, no, no. 278 00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:06,018 - A poo-dor. - A poo-dor? 279 00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:07,228 The other way around. 280 00:12:07,228 --> 00:12:08,854 - Even fucking weirder. - Yeah. 281 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,357 Point is, life out here on your own 282 00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:14,694 can be fucking awesome as long as you go by the rules. 283 00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:17,029 Well, what rules? 284 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,364 Rule number one: 285 00:12:18,364 --> 00:12:20,282 You want something, you pee on it. 286 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,118 Whatever you pee on, it's yours. 287 00:12:22,118 --> 00:12:23,411 Let's try it out. 288 00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:24,954 You-you see that lamppost over there? 289 00:12:24,954 --> 00:12:27,039 Yeah. -Why don't you go over there and pee on that? 290 00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:28,582 And you're sure this is okay? 291 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,501 Go ahead. Ain't nobody giving a fuck. 292 00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:32,628 You're a fucking stray now. That's my point. 293 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:36,173 Well, I'm-I'm not a stray, but yeah, okay. 294 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:37,550 Congratulations. 295 00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,802 You now own a lamppost. 296 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,054 Oh, wow. 297 00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:43,889 Now, let's talk rule number two: 298 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:46,225 You can pretty much fuck whatever you want. 299 00:12:46,225 --> 00:12:48,060 Have you ever humped anything before? 300 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:50,146 Well, I wouldn't say I've humped, per se, 301 00:12:50,146 --> 00:12:52,398 but I do like to dance on Doug's leg. 302 00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:53,941 Dude, that wasn't dancing. 303 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,652 Baby, you was humping-- the devil's dance. 304 00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:59,947 But now the world is like a buffet 305 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,116 - for your tiny dog dick. - Really? 306 00:13:02,116 --> 00:13:04,326 You know what? I recently fucked this couch. 307 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:05,619 - No. - Mm-hmm. 308 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,329 Best sex of my life. 309 00:13:07,329 --> 00:13:08,831 - Wow. Really? - Yeah. 310 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,416 Oh, a-a-and she's dirty, too. 311 00:13:10,416 --> 00:13:11,917 Oh, well, I-I can tell. 312 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,170 Looks like she hasn't been washed in years. 313 00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:16,088 (smacks lips) I'll see you later, baby. 314 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,260 It was nice to meet you. 315 00:13:22,053 --> 00:13:24,597 Now, rule number three, 316 00:13:24,597 --> 00:13:28,225 and this is the most important, bar none: 317 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:31,520 You are on your own. 318 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,772 That's awful. 319 00:13:32,772 --> 00:13:34,190 That's not a bad thing, all right? 320 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,858 Now, right now you're freaking out 321 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,985 'cause you feel like, you know, y-you need this Doug guy. 322 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,237 - I do. - But no, no, trust me. 323 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,697 You don't. 324 00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:44,200 Humans trick us into thinking that we need 'em, 325 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,285 but they're just brainwashing us, man. 326 00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:49,330 Point is, you ain't got to deal with that shit no more, okay? 327 00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:50,873 You a stray. 328 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,958 You can do anything you want now. -I don't know. 329 00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:55,044 Come on! Repeat after me: 330 00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:57,463 I can do anything. 331 00:13:57,463 --> 00:14:00,216 I can do... anything? 332 00:14:00,216 --> 00:14:01,634 Damn fucking right you can. 333 00:14:01,634 --> 00:14:04,303 Now, you want to see how fucked-up humans can be? 334 00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:05,763 Come on. 335 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:10,810 BUG: Look at these motherfuckers here. 336 00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:12,520 A bunch of pet dogs 337 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,688 losing their minds over their 15 minutes of freedom. 338 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:19,276 God! If only our wolf ancestors could see these pussies. 339 00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:22,154 Follow me. 340 00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:24,115 Now, why are these humans so desperate to keep us? 341 00:14:24,115 --> 00:14:26,575 - Because they love us? - No, no, I-I got a theory. 342 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,953 - They need us for our poop. - Huh? 343 00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:30,412 BUG: Watch that lady. Watch her. 344 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,956 - See? See? - REGGIE: Uh-huh. 345 00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:34,208 BUG: It's like they're collecting it for something. 346 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,793 REGGIE: What do you think they're doing with it? 347 00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:37,461 I think they're using it to make chocolate. -Oh. 348 00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,255 Have you ever had a piece of chocolate? -No. 349 00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:41,590 Exactly. Come on. I'm gonna introduce you to my homeys. 350 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,968 I thought you said these dogs were all losers. 351 00:14:43,968 --> 00:14:45,678 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say a lot of shit. 352 00:14:45,678 --> 00:14:47,596 - Hey, losers. - Hey, Bug. 353 00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:50,182 Oh, if it isn't the tiny dog who caught the car. 354 00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:51,517 I did catch that car. 355 00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:52,685 No, everyone knows that's impossible. 356 00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:53,936 Yeah, it was parked. 357 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,688 Yeah, it parked after I caught it. 358 00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:57,523 No, there was no one in the car. -Yeah, no one in the car. 359 00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,608 Listen, I don't even have to keep this conversation going. 360 00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:01,861 What I was trying to do, losers, 361 00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:04,363 was introduce you to my new friend Reggie. 362 00:15:04,363 --> 00:15:05,656 He just got dumped. 363 00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,533 Aw. Sorry, mate. Welcome to the club. 364 00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:09,326 Uh, sorry. Was it at least mutual? 365 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:10,619 Oh, no, it-it's actually just a game. 366 00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:11,871 Reg, I want you to meet Hunter. 367 00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,122 He's a therapy dog 368 00:15:13,122 --> 00:15:15,124 who works in a home for dying humans. 369 00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:17,543 Which sounds like an okay gig, 370 00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:19,295 except that he was trained to be a police dog. 371 00:15:19,295 --> 00:15:21,714 You almost made it to the police squad? 372 00:15:21,714 --> 00:15:23,215 - That's awesome. - (chuckles) 373 00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:24,967 Yeah, I-I guess it's awesome. 374 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,886 Get the fuck out of my way, cone boy! 375 00:15:26,886 --> 00:15:28,554 Oh, uh, sorry about that, Bubsy. 376 00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,639 Hunter, say something back, mate. 377 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,474 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um... 378 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:35,895 Hey, Bubsy, you got any fucking... weekend plans? 379 00:15:35,895 --> 00:15:37,938 What? It still sounds friendly. -REGGIE: You got him. 380 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,315 Yeah. Raw-dogging your mom. 381 00:15:39,315 --> 00:15:42,234 Ah, right. Well, I'm pretty sure she's dead, 382 00:15:42,234 --> 00:15:44,486 - but good luck anyway. - Pussy! 383 00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,822 (chuckles) Love those observations, Bubs. Take care. 384 00:15:46,822 --> 00:15:48,073 Hunter, get your weight up. 385 00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,158 Don't let him talk to you like that. 386 00:15:49,158 --> 00:15:50,534 You're the biggest dog here. 387 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:51,869 You should eat his freaking face off, 388 00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:53,412 shit it out and then eat it again. 389 00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:54,997 Bug, you know I don't love confrontation. 390 00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,874 Yeah, don't let the big dick fool you. 391 00:15:56,874 --> 00:15:58,334 He's just a gigantic pussy. 392 00:15:58,334 --> 00:16:00,085 Whoa. 393 00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,503 It is a great penis. 394 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,380 Oh, thanks. You know, I try to keep it clean, 395 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,341 do my best to lick it as much as possible. 396 00:16:05,341 --> 00:16:06,926 Yeah, the only thing thicker than Hunter's dick 397 00:16:06,926 --> 00:16:08,761 is the sexual tension between these two. 398 00:16:08,761 --> 00:16:10,888 - Oh, come on. (chuckles) - Bug, no. What? 399 00:16:10,888 --> 00:16:12,932 - That's funny, though. - Yeah, right. Imagine. 400 00:16:12,932 --> 00:16:15,351 (chuckling): "Thicker than Hunter's dick." 401 00:16:15,351 --> 00:16:16,769 - But no, no. - No. 402 00:16:16,769 --> 00:16:19,688 Now, Maggie, on the other hand, is one bad bitch. 403 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:21,774 But sadly, her owner Jenna thinks 404 00:16:21,774 --> 00:16:24,276 the badder bitch is the puppy that replaced her. 405 00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:26,654 So, Bella looked at me like, "I want a cupcake, too," 406 00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:28,614 so I was like, "I'm gonna get her a cupcake." 407 00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:30,991 - I am so here for that. - Right? 408 00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:34,703 So, Jenna said, "Sit," which I did. 409 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,121 But then I thought, 410 00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:37,873 "Wouldn't it be cute if I acted all confused 411 00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:40,000 and tilted my head like, 'Huh?'" -Oh, my God, stop. 412 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,419 Man, sure got to suck to compete with that. 413 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,088 No, it's fine. (chuckles) 414 00:16:44,088 --> 00:16:46,215 Bella's young and cute and fun, so of course Jenna loves her 415 00:16:46,215 --> 00:16:47,967 more than me right now, and I get that. 416 00:16:47,967 --> 00:16:50,511 Cool. Anyways, I was thinking, if you guys are free later... 417 00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:52,554 But what I really don't get is why Jenna thinks 418 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:54,515 it's so adorable when she spins around in circles. 419 00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:56,100 Like, I could do that in my sleep. 420 00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,643 But you know what? It's totally fine. It's fine. 421 00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:59,186 Mm, okay. -You know what? It doesn't get to me 422 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,354 so much anymore. 423 00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:01,689 I'm fine. I'm not jealous or worried 424 00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:03,107 or angry or depressed or confused 425 00:17:03,107 --> 00:17:04,692 or fuming or unhinged at all. 426 00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:06,235 Yeah, you seem totally fine. 427 00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:07,820 And now that Jenna's spending so much time with Bella, 428 00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,697 it's given me a chance to do a little self-care. 429 00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:11,282 Like, I've been going into the digging. 430 00:17:11,282 --> 00:17:12,866 I really like the feeling of the soil under my nails. 431 00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,410 I'm just, like, out in the fresh air again. 432 00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,828 I'm just really connecting to the land. 433 00:17:15,828 --> 00:17:17,413 No, I'm-I'm learning I love digging. 434 00:17:17,413 --> 00:17:20,291 I love digging! I love it! I love to dig! 435 00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:23,043 (clears throat) 436 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,253 - What-what's happening? - See, Reg? 437 00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:25,838 Aren't you happy to be a stray now 438 00:17:25,838 --> 00:17:27,923 and not have to deal with all that owner bullshit? 439 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:30,217 Well, no, as I said, I'm not a stray. 440 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,594 Doug and I are just playing a game. -Mm-hmm. 441 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:34,513 Look, why don't you come out with us tonight? 442 00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,849 And you can learn how beautiful it can be 443 00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:38,517 when you're off the leash. 444 00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:42,021 If I can't convince you that being a stray is great, 445 00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:43,355 - scraps night will. - HUNTER: Sure will. 446 00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,815 - MAGGIE: Yeah. - Well, thank you, 447 00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:46,859 but I really should be getting back to Doug. 448 00:17:46,859 --> 00:17:48,193 What? Why? 449 00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,528 So I can make him happy. 450 00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,071 Isn't that a dog's purpose? 451 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,490 Don't you ever say that again! 452 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,784 - (groans) -Here we go. - Reggie, your purpose 453 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:59,621 is not to make some stupid human families happy. 454 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,916 It's not to make some single loser feel more complete. 455 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:05,127 Your purpose is to do... 456 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:08,005 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Whatever the fuck you want. 457 00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,590 And when you are a stray... 458 00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:11,467 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: There's a lot to fucking do. 459 00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:13,177 Why do I feel like there's an echo in here? 460 00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:14,720 'Cause you've said this a million times. -I know. 461 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,472 - I love that spiel. - HUNTER: No, it's fine. 462 00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:17,723 It's fine. -You write your own fucking speeches, okay? 463 00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:18,724 - Okay. - MAGGIE: Yeah. 464 00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,601 Now, what do you say, guys? 465 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:22,686 - Another scraps night? - BOTH: Yes. 466 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:25,230 All right, meet at the pizza place at sundown, 467 00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:28,108 and we gonna fuck shit up. 468 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,610 ♪ Get wild... ♪ 469 00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:32,029 ("Get Wild" by Prismo featuring Ohana Bam playing) 470 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,241 So, what is scraps night? 471 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,494 It's that one magnificent night of the week 472 00:18:38,494 --> 00:18:40,037 where humans are a lot more willing 473 00:18:40,037 --> 00:18:42,664 to give us food or drop it accidentally or both. 474 00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,917 That stuff that they're dropping is gold. 475 00:18:44,917 --> 00:18:47,544 Oh. I just feel like we're gonna get in trouble, though. 476 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:48,837 No, we're cleaning up. 477 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,464 These fuckers love it when we clean up. 478 00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:51,965 BUG: Wait for it. 479 00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:54,760 Wait for it. 480 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:55,844 MAGGIE: Drop the fucking pizza, bitch. 481 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,096 BUG: That's the one! 482 00:18:57,096 --> 00:18:58,555 - Let's do this! - (Reggie yelps) 483 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,849 ♪ I-I-I-I'm with all my dogs ♪ 484 00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:02,601 ♪ Finna fuck the city up ♪ 485 00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:05,187 ♪ Keep a pocket full, got these bitches wanna hit me up ♪ 486 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,814 ♪ Drinking by the pool ♪ 487 00:19:06,814 --> 00:19:08,649 ♪ Doing drugs, is you lit or what? ♪ 488 00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:09,858 ♪ Making hella noise... ♪ 489 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:12,152 This water is making me dizzy. 490 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,239 Oh, it's about to get real dizzy up in this bitch. 491 00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:16,615 Oh, I don't mind feeling dizzy. 492 00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:17,991 - MAGGIE: Pace yourself, Reg. - I like it. 493 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,451 (echoing): ♪ Get wild ♪ 494 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:26,166 (echoing): ♪ Get wild ♪ 495 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,421 BUG: Chester, for the last time, 496 00:19:30,421 --> 00:19:32,005 there's no fucking fence there. 497 00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,507 Just come out with us. 498 00:19:33,507 --> 00:19:34,758 I can't. 499 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,177 I'm telling you, there is a magical fence there. 500 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,887 You just can't see it. 501 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:40,222 - Come on, Chester. - Chester! 502 00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,141 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Chester! Chester! 503 00:19:42,141 --> 00:19:46,145 Honestly, that is persuasive, and I don't know why. 504 00:19:46,145 --> 00:19:47,521 ("Chester!" chant continues) 505 00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,648 Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this. 506 00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:51,316 Stop being a pussy, and do this. 507 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,317 Okay. 508 00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,527 (whoops) Run! 509 00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:55,195 BUG: Chester! 510 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,738 - BOTH: Chester! Chester! - MAGGIE: Come on! 511 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,323 You've got it, Chester! You've got it! 512 00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,867 - (electrical crackling) - (screams) 513 00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,618 - (Reggie gasps) - (Maggie whooping) 514 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:02,911 Goddamn! 515 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:05,581 It's real! The magic fence is real! 516 00:20:05,581 --> 00:20:08,417 ♪ Big dog status, big dog baggage ♪ 517 00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:11,253 ♪ Big dog, fuck it, I got big dog habits ♪ 518 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,256 ♪ See, I'm going hard in the paint, doing damage ♪ 519 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:17,759 ♪ Big dog tell me do it, look like I'm average... ♪ 520 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:20,387 Oh, yeah. You gonna get it. 521 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:21,763 Somebody been naughty. 522 00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:23,348 You a naughty owl. You a little naughty owl. 523 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,683 (hooting) 524 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:25,976 You're right, Bug. 525 00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:27,561 I like this humping. 526 00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:29,730 Bug, can I try your owl? 527 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:32,357 I told you scraps night was gonna be off the chain, baby. 528 00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:34,818 - I'm having a great time. - Ain't this about a bitch. 529 00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:36,528 Look at this motherfucker right here. 530 00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:38,155 What you want? Huh, homey? 531 00:20:38,155 --> 00:20:39,740 I'll rip your motherfucking nuts off. 532 00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:41,450 - Come on, let's go. - Pointy-eared motherfucker. 533 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:42,826 Come on. It's not worth it. 534 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,536 - HUNTER: There you go, Reg. - I'm doing good? 535 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:46,622 Give it to him. Give it to that gnome, Reg. 536 00:20:46,622 --> 00:20:48,540 Tell that gnome you're his daddy. 537 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,542 Hey, gnome, I'm your father. 538 00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:52,169 - It's good to finally meet you. - Uh, Reggie... 539 00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:53,837 Even under these strange circumstances. 540 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:55,172 - No, Reggie. - Reggie! 541 00:20:55,172 --> 00:20:56,256 Oh, you can't get me. 542 00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,925 Aha, ah-- I'm too fast for you. 543 00:20:57,925 --> 00:20:59,927 I'm too fast for you. This motherfucker is keeping up. 544 00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:02,137 Come on, let's go. -Who your little bitch-ass friend 545 00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:03,680 with the motherfucking home perm and shit? 546 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,390 - What did you just say? - There you go, Reg. 547 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,892 Don't you look at me like that. -Get up in his ass. 548 00:21:06,892 --> 00:21:08,894 I would hate for this to get violent. 549 00:21:08,894 --> 00:21:10,395 I didn't know I had a son. 550 00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:12,022 And he's a gnome of all things. -MAGGIE: Oh, Reggie! 551 00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,066 God, shut up! -Does anyone want to hump my son? 552 00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:16,443 He's handsomely dressed in a smart little tunic. 553 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:19,238 Yo, Chester. You got balls, baby. 554 00:21:19,238 --> 00:21:20,822 That magic fence was legit. 555 00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:22,366 I kept telling you! 556 00:21:22,366 --> 00:21:25,035 What a weird thing a magic fence would be to make up. 557 00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:26,453 I can do anything. 558 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:27,829 - MAGGIE: Reggie, don't. - HUNTER: Wait, wait. 559 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,122 - What's going on? - Reggie, no. 560 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:30,666 - Don't do it. - HUNTER: Reggie, no. 561 00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:32,751 I can do anything. 562 00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:35,629 Do not test the dark arts, kid. 563 00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:38,840 ♪ ♪ 564 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:47,683 ♪ Get wild. ♪ 565 00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:49,142 Oh, shoot! 566 00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:50,602 - That was fucking amazing! - Incredible! 567 00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:51,853 - Yeah! - MAGGIE: You did it! 568 00:21:51,853 --> 00:21:53,355 - That's impossible. - HUNTER: Reggie! 569 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:55,190 I did it! I did it! 570 00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:56,358 (laughter) 571 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,610 HUNTER: Oh, what a night. 572 00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:02,656 Reg, I could tell the moment I sniffed your anus 573 00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:04,199 you're a great guy. 574 00:22:04,199 --> 00:22:06,034 - You're a legend. - BUG: Yeah, baby. 575 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,787 I told you strays life is the best life. 576 00:22:08,787 --> 00:22:10,080 Yeah, you got to admit, 577 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,957 it's fun to be off leash for a bit, right? 578 00:22:11,957 --> 00:22:13,917 MAGGIE: Right? -Yeah, well, it is kind of awesome 579 00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,544 not having to hold my pee for ten hours 580 00:22:15,544 --> 00:22:18,046 - until Doug lets me outside. - (laughter) 581 00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:19,840 And I like the sound of "legend" 582 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,300 a lot more than "shitbag." 583 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:22,801 HUNTER: Guys, I'm still peeing. 584 00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:24,970 Wait, is that really what he called you? 585 00:22:24,970 --> 00:22:27,514 And I really don't miss roasting in the car 586 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:29,349 when he stops at a store and he leaves me 587 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,143 with the windows cracked just barely enough 588 00:22:31,143 --> 00:22:33,020 - for me to stay conscious. - MAGGIE (chuckles): Wait, what? 589 00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:35,105 And I'm just panting, gasping for air 590 00:22:35,105 --> 00:22:39,151 and trying to survive until he comes back in 45 minutes. 591 00:22:39,151 --> 00:22:41,778 (chuckles) Classic Doug. Too funny. 592 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:43,655 (laughs, sighs) 593 00:22:43,655 --> 00:22:47,743 So, this guy neglects you, throws you on the street, 594 00:22:47,743 --> 00:22:49,953 and you still think he's a good guy? 595 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:52,289 Yeah. I mean, if Doug doesn't like me, 596 00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:54,791 why does he let me eat his leftover human food? 597 00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:57,044 So he doesn't have to buy dog food. 598 00:22:57,044 --> 00:22:59,171 And why didn't he put a collar and tags on you? 599 00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:02,090 Because he doesn't believe in labels. 600 00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:03,175 Oh, come on, Reg. 601 00:23:03,175 --> 00:23:04,468 And the bandanna he gave me 602 00:23:04,468 --> 00:23:06,345 is way more special than a collar 603 00:23:06,345 --> 00:23:09,014 'cause he used it for his penis sneezes. 604 00:23:09,014 --> 00:23:10,098 - Ew. - Ew. 605 00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:11,433 Doug loves me. 606 00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,226 We have a good relationship. 607 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:15,354 You just don't understand the situation, 608 00:23:15,354 --> 00:23:17,773 because if Doug's such a bad guy 609 00:23:17,773 --> 00:23:20,859 and he-he left me on purpose 610 00:23:20,859 --> 00:23:24,946 and he hurt me on purpose, that would mean... 611 00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:27,282 that would mean... 612 00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:29,701 Doug doesn't love me. 613 00:23:33,497 --> 00:23:36,416 Can, uh, you guys just give me a second? 614 00:23:38,627 --> 00:23:40,796 ♪ ♪ 615 00:23:43,507 --> 00:23:44,925 Oh, poor little guy. 616 00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:47,386 That is just the classic toxic relationship. 617 00:23:47,386 --> 00:23:50,222 I should probably talk to him. I am a therapy dog. 618 00:23:50,222 --> 00:23:51,807 Nah, give him some space. 619 00:23:51,807 --> 00:23:53,392 Kid's been through a lot. 620 00:23:54,309 --> 00:23:56,228 DOUG: That's what you fucking sound like, 621 00:23:56,228 --> 00:23:57,729 you piece of shit. 622 00:23:57,729 --> 00:24:00,107 - (imitates Reggie's barking) - (Reggie barking) 623 00:24:00,107 --> 00:24:01,942 Oh, get off! Get-- 624 00:24:01,942 --> 00:24:04,361 Bad dog! Bad dog! Bad dog! 625 00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:07,072 (echoing): Worst dog in the fucking world. 626 00:24:11,201 --> 00:24:14,121 ♪ ♪ 627 00:24:15,706 --> 00:24:17,332 MAGGIE: Hey, Reggie. 628 00:24:17,332 --> 00:24:18,834 I know you're feeling hurt right now 629 00:24:18,834 --> 00:24:20,919 and it's-- ugh-- must be so hard 630 00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:22,421 to figure out what to do... 631 00:24:22,421 --> 00:24:23,672 I'm going back to Doug's. 632 00:24:23,672 --> 00:24:25,090 - What? - The fuck, man? 633 00:24:25,090 --> 00:24:26,758 What's it gonna take for you to understand 634 00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:28,969 that he's not playing a game with you? 635 00:24:28,969 --> 00:24:31,596 And I'm not playing a game with him. 636 00:24:31,596 --> 00:24:33,140 Okay... 637 00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:36,309 All my life, I felt like I wasn't worth anything 638 00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:39,938 unless I heard those words, "Good boy," 639 00:24:39,938 --> 00:24:41,898 but they never came. 640 00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:45,152 Well, he needs to know he's hurt me. 641 00:24:45,152 --> 00:24:46,528 He needs to feel my pain. 642 00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:49,114 And he needs to pay for what he did 643 00:24:49,114 --> 00:24:51,032 with the only thing he truly loves. 644 00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:54,119 I'm gonna bite his dick off. 645 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,954 - Oh. - Wait, did he just say bite... 646 00:24:55,954 --> 00:24:57,539 Yeah, I-I'm still a little drunk, 647 00:24:57,539 --> 00:24:59,708 but did I just hear you say that you were gonna... 648 00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:02,669 I said I'm gonna bite his dick off. 649 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:05,714 - Oh, I'm 100% in for this. - HUNTER: No, no, no, no, no. 650 00:25:05,714 --> 00:25:07,758 Bug. Wait, wait, wait. Reggie, please. 651 00:25:07,758 --> 00:25:10,135 I feel you-- I really do-- but this-this is insane. 652 00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:12,012 Yeah, like, maybe there's 653 00:25:12,012 --> 00:25:13,638 a metaphorical dick you could bite off. 654 00:25:13,638 --> 00:25:15,307 Like-like-like you could pretend my dick is his dick, 655 00:25:15,307 --> 00:25:17,058 and you could give it a stern talking-to. 656 00:25:17,058 --> 00:25:19,603 No, his dick-- no exceptions. 657 00:25:19,603 --> 00:25:21,646 Playing with that thing was his favorite activity 658 00:25:21,646 --> 00:25:23,440 until he started putting things in boxes. 659 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,609 MAGGIE: Boxes? -Oh, shit. That means he's moving soon. 660 00:25:25,609 --> 00:25:26,985 - Moving? Oh, God. - HUNTER: Oh, man. 661 00:25:26,985 --> 00:25:28,403 - Wh-What if we're too late? - Calm down. 662 00:25:28,403 --> 00:25:29,946 We definitely don't have much time. 663 00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:31,907 Any places, smells, landmarks you remember 664 00:25:31,907 --> 00:25:33,200 on the road to get here? 665 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,494 Uh, I-I just... I-I remember passing 666 00:25:35,494 --> 00:25:37,370 an enormous hamster wheel. 667 00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:39,372 - Okay, hamster wheel. - Uh, uh, a giant cone 668 00:25:39,372 --> 00:25:40,916 that looked like Hunter's. 669 00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:42,417 BUG: Giant cone that looked like Hunter's. Okay. 670 00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:44,377 And the... and the devil in the sky. 671 00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:47,255 And the devil in the sky. Boom! That's basically a road map 672 00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:49,508 right to this guy's custard launcher. 673 00:25:49,508 --> 00:25:51,176 Bug, there's no way. It's impossible. 674 00:25:51,176 --> 00:25:52,677 Nah. No, no, no, not quite. 675 00:25:52,677 --> 00:25:53,970 Reggie's got no shot 676 00:25:53,970 --> 00:25:55,639 of making it back in time on his own, 677 00:25:55,639 --> 00:25:58,850 but if we all go, I got the street smarts, 678 00:25:58,850 --> 00:26:00,644 you got the muscle, and Maggie's got 679 00:26:00,644 --> 00:26:03,355 a sense of smell so good she could sniff one asshole 680 00:26:03,355 --> 00:26:05,941 and tell you what the guy ate three breakfasts ago. 681 00:26:05,941 --> 00:26:07,859 - (sniffs) Bunch of nickels. - Exactly. 682 00:26:07,859 --> 00:26:08,860 She's incredible. 683 00:26:08,860 --> 00:26:10,862 Guys, we can do this. 684 00:26:10,862 --> 00:26:12,823 - No, there is no way... - I'm in. 685 00:26:12,823 --> 00:26:14,115 ...I am missing this. 686 00:26:14,115 --> 00:26:15,408 Let's do it! 687 00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:18,036 Really? You guys would do this for me? 688 00:26:18,036 --> 00:26:19,412 Hell yeah. We got your back, Reg. 689 00:26:19,412 --> 00:26:20,914 - MAGGIE: Yeah. - BUG: All right, guys. 690 00:26:20,914 --> 00:26:23,792 Let's show these humans they can't toss us aside 691 00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:26,461 without facing some bad fucking consequences. 692 00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:27,754 Fellas. 693 00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:29,673 Lady. 694 00:26:29,673 --> 00:26:31,883 Let's go get some dick. (howls) 695 00:26:31,883 --> 00:26:33,218 (howling) 696 00:26:33,218 --> 00:26:34,886 Howling. 697 00:26:34,886 --> 00:26:37,639 - Howl. Howling. - (others howling) 698 00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:40,308 (clears throat) I'm just not a great howler. 699 00:26:40,308 --> 00:26:42,978 ("Check Yo Self" by Ice Cube playing) 700 00:26:42,978 --> 00:26:45,856 ♪ Yeah, word is bond ♪ 701 00:26:45,856 --> 00:26:48,108 ♪ Das EFX in this, you know what I'm sayin'? ♪ 702 00:26:48,108 --> 00:26:50,861 ♪ Straight from the sewer, word is bond, yeah ♪ 703 00:26:50,861 --> 00:26:52,737 ♪ Check yo' self before you wreck yo' self ♪ 704 00:26:52,737 --> 00:26:54,155 ♪ 'Cause I'm bad for your health ♪ 705 00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:55,532 ♪ I come real stealth ♪ 706 00:26:55,532 --> 00:26:57,951 Fuck you! ♪ Dropping bombs on your moms, fuck car alarms ♪ 707 00:26:57,951 --> 00:27:00,161 ♪ Doing foul crime, I'm that brotha wit' yo' Alpine ♪ 708 00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:02,664 ♪ Sold it for a six-o, always let tricks know ♪ 709 00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,958 ♪ And friends know we got the indo ♪ 710 00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:08,003 ♪ No, I'm not a sucker sitting in a House of Pain ♪ 711 00:27:08,003 --> 00:27:10,005 ♪ And no, I'm not the butler, I'll cut ya ♪ 712 00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:12,257 ♪ This ain't no fucking motion picture ♪ 713 00:27:12,257 --> 00:27:15,010 ♪ A guy or bitch-a, I'll get wit' cha and hit ya ♪ 714 00:27:15,010 --> 00:27:18,638 ♪ Taking that yak to the neck, so you better run a check ♪ 715 00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:20,223 ♪ So come on and chickity-check yo' self ♪ 716 00:27:20,223 --> 00:27:23,018 Fuck you! ♪ Before you wreck yo' self, chickity-check yo' self ♪ 717 00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:24,603 ♪ Before you wreck yo' self, boy ♪ 718 00:27:24,603 --> 00:27:26,354 ♪ Check yo' self before you wreck yo' self ♪ 719 00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:28,523 ♪ 'Cause shotgun bullets are bad for your health... ♪ 720 00:27:28,523 --> 00:27:30,734 - (dogs howling) - HUNTER: Howling. 721 00:27:30,734 --> 00:27:32,110 Howling. 722 00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:33,486 ♪ Check it. ♪ 723 00:27:33,486 --> 00:27:35,947 - (retching, groaning) - (song ends) 724 00:27:35,947 --> 00:27:37,908 Why didn't nobody tell us that dog journeys 725 00:27:37,908 --> 00:27:39,534 are so fucking exhausting? 726 00:27:39,534 --> 00:27:41,286 - Yeah. - Oh, this is brutal. 727 00:27:41,286 --> 00:27:43,371 I was still drunk when I agreed to do this. 728 00:27:43,371 --> 00:27:45,540 - Yeah, I'm hangry. - Yeah, I'm starving. 729 00:27:45,540 --> 00:27:47,250 I just threw up over there, so there might be 730 00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:49,377 something in there if you want to give it a... -Ooh. 731 00:27:49,377 --> 00:27:50,712 Okay. 732 00:27:50,712 --> 00:27:52,297 I bet that's some of the pizza from last night. 733 00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:54,132 BUG: Oh, yeah, lot-lots of good shit in there. 734 00:27:54,132 --> 00:27:55,508 Oh, there's those nickels. (chuckles) 735 00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:57,135 Guys, we-we got to keep moving. 736 00:27:57,135 --> 00:27:58,345 You can't miss this thing. 737 00:27:58,345 --> 00:28:00,013 It's like a giant hamster wheel 738 00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:02,641 but without the hamster and it smells like hot dogs. 739 00:28:02,641 --> 00:28:04,476 Smells like hot dogs? (sniffing) 740 00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:06,937 This is her superpower. She's unbelievable. 741 00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:08,730 - Look at that nose. - REGGIE: You got something? 742 00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,190 Wait a minute. 743 00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:11,775 Wait, d-do you smell that? 744 00:28:11,775 --> 00:28:13,151 I just smell plastic. 745 00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:14,569 (sniffing): Oh, yeah. Oh. 746 00:28:14,569 --> 00:28:16,029 Yeah, I've got it. 747 00:28:16,029 --> 00:28:18,698 She's walking away. Should we follow her? 748 00:28:18,698 --> 00:28:20,575 I'm gonna follow her. 749 00:28:21,534 --> 00:28:23,161 BUG: No, no, no, no, no. A sausage is the one 750 00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:24,913 that looks like shit but it don't taste like shit. 751 00:28:24,913 --> 00:28:26,623 REGGIE: Okay. What is a hot dog? 752 00:28:26,623 --> 00:28:27,999 Guys. Shh. Drop it. Look. 753 00:28:27,999 --> 00:28:29,459 - What the fuck is this? - That's it. 754 00:28:29,459 --> 00:28:30,961 The giant hamster wheel. 755 00:28:30,961 --> 00:28:32,587 - We're on the right track. - BUG: All right, guys. 756 00:28:32,587 --> 00:28:34,923 We're on a time crunch, but Hunter's gonna die 757 00:28:34,923 --> 00:28:36,675 if we don't get some food in him, okay? 758 00:28:36,675 --> 00:28:37,968 Maggie, you hang with Hunter. 759 00:28:37,968 --> 00:28:39,344 - MAGGIE: Gotcha. - HUNTER: Good plan. 760 00:28:39,344 --> 00:28:41,137 - Reg, you know what time it is? - Uh... 761 00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:42,722 - It's grub time. Damn right. - It's grub... yeah, grub time. 762 00:28:42,722 --> 00:28:44,975 - Let's get some grub. - Let's get some grub. 763 00:28:44,975 --> 00:28:46,643 MAGGIE: This fucking place is weird. 764 00:28:46,643 --> 00:28:48,144 HUNTER: So weird. 765 00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:49,604 BUG: I never really can understand humans, man, 766 00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:51,231 especially, like, the lighter-shade ones. 767 00:28:51,231 --> 00:28:52,899 They some strange motherfuckers. 768 00:28:52,899 --> 00:28:54,943 REGGIE: I was thinking the same thing. 769 00:28:54,943 --> 00:28:57,445 - (barks) - Hey. 770 00:28:59,155 --> 00:29:01,950 Um... (chuckles) your dog messed up my shot. 771 00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:04,119 - (dog barks) - Uh, I think he's telling me 772 00:29:04,119 --> 00:29:05,954 I should pay for you to take another one. 773 00:29:05,954 --> 00:29:07,664 Oh, is that right? 774 00:29:07,664 --> 00:29:09,124 Yeah, that's what... that's what he was saying. 775 00:29:09,124 --> 00:29:11,042 - I promise. - (laughs) 776 00:29:11,042 --> 00:29:12,460 I wouldn't... I wouldn't make it up, 777 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,170 but he's a good... he's got good ideas. 778 00:29:14,170 --> 00:29:16,297 GUS: I could tell James felt different 779 00:29:16,297 --> 00:29:17,966 about this human girl. 780 00:29:17,966 --> 00:29:20,635 Maybe it was because she smelled like biscuits. 781 00:29:20,635 --> 00:29:22,220 Or maybe it was because 782 00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:23,930 something about her was special. 783 00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:27,142 Excuse me. Do you know where we can get some food around here? 784 00:29:27,892 --> 00:29:29,894 GUS: As I was saying, 785 00:29:29,894 --> 00:29:32,480 James thought he was helping this girl, 786 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,734 but the truth is she was helping him. 787 00:29:35,734 --> 00:29:36,985 Oh, fuck this bullshit. 788 00:29:36,985 --> 00:29:38,236 Wait, what is he doing? 789 00:29:38,236 --> 00:29:39,487 I've seen this shit before. 790 00:29:39,487 --> 00:29:41,322 He's one of those narrator dogs. 791 00:29:41,322 --> 00:29:44,325 Hey! No one's listening to your lame human story, 792 00:29:44,325 --> 00:29:45,785 you fucking dumbass. 793 00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:51,332 GUS: Sadly, the little dog was right. 794 00:29:51,332 --> 00:29:54,044 No one was listening to my story. 795 00:29:54,044 --> 00:29:56,629 Which is too bad because I'm the only one 796 00:29:56,629 --> 00:29:59,799 who knows James is a cold-blooded serial killer. 797 00:29:59,799 --> 00:30:03,470 He's got three bodies buried in the backyard already, 798 00:30:03,470 --> 00:30:05,972 but I guess no one's interested. 799 00:30:05,972 --> 00:30:07,223 I can't believe that dog. 800 00:30:07,223 --> 00:30:08,683 He was so obsessed with his owner 801 00:30:08,683 --> 00:30:09,934 he didn't even acknowledge us. 802 00:30:09,934 --> 00:30:11,436 I'm-a tell you, kid, 803 00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:12,896 the moment they leash you up, snip your balls 804 00:30:12,896 --> 00:30:14,689 is the moment they got you by 'em. 805 00:30:14,689 --> 00:30:17,233 Hold on. They snip your balls? 806 00:30:17,233 --> 00:30:18,610 - Oh, yeah. - Ugh. 807 00:30:18,610 --> 00:30:19,986 And I think they're collecting those, too, 808 00:30:19,986 --> 00:30:21,446 - to put in the chocolate. - MAN: Come on! 809 00:30:21,446 --> 00:30:23,114 - Get your hot dogs here! - Oh, shit. Look. 810 00:30:23,114 --> 00:30:25,116 - I got jumbo dogs! - Okay, here's the plan. 811 00:30:25,116 --> 00:30:26,910 You grab the sausages, and I'll go over there 812 00:30:26,910 --> 00:30:28,787 and fuck the guy's leg as a distraction. 813 00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:30,371 And... break! 814 00:30:30,371 --> 00:30:33,750 Uh, I don't think fucking the guy's leg is necessary, 815 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:36,127 but I see you've already started. All right. 816 00:30:36,127 --> 00:30:37,670 - (bell dinging) - Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme. 817 00:30:37,670 --> 00:30:39,923 - Bunny! (squealing) - WOMAN: You won! (laughs) 818 00:30:39,923 --> 00:30:41,382 - I can't believe I won! - Yeah! 819 00:30:41,382 --> 00:30:43,593 MAGGIE: Oh, look at that toy bunny. 820 00:30:43,593 --> 00:30:45,512 You know, it hasn't even been a day yet, 821 00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:47,180 but I really miss toys. 822 00:30:47,180 --> 00:30:48,807 Jenna had some good ones. 823 00:30:48,807 --> 00:30:50,433 I'd rip that shit apart 824 00:30:50,433 --> 00:30:52,644 until I found that squeaky toy in the middle. 825 00:30:52,644 --> 00:30:54,312 HUNTER: Ugh, I miss squeaky toys, too. 826 00:30:54,312 --> 00:30:56,147 MAGGIE: But, of course, I only got to play 827 00:30:56,147 --> 00:30:58,108 with those squeak toys if I was a good girl 828 00:30:58,108 --> 00:31:00,944 and I smiled the right way for her stupid freaking selfies. 829 00:31:00,944 --> 00:31:03,947 The amount of work that goes into looking cute. 830 00:31:03,947 --> 00:31:05,240 Honestly, I had to go spin around 831 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,699 in a perfect circle like this, 832 00:31:06,699 --> 00:31:08,284 move into a "oh, I'm so fuckable" pose 833 00:31:08,284 --> 00:31:09,786 with my paws crossed, 834 00:31:09,786 --> 00:31:11,913 and then I'd have to stand up straight, paws up. 835 00:31:11,913 --> 00:31:13,456 I have to show all my tits. 836 00:31:13,456 --> 00:31:16,334 Yeah, right, that-- yeah, that's pretty fuckable. 837 00:31:16,334 --> 00:31:19,170 I mean, uh, that-that... that's-that's weird. 838 00:31:19,170 --> 00:31:20,588 Wait, uh, there they are. 839 00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:23,675 (clears throat) You know, Maggie, there's, um... 840 00:31:23,675 --> 00:31:27,178 there's so much more to like about you than just your looks. 841 00:31:27,178 --> 00:31:28,513 - You think so? - Sure. 842 00:31:28,513 --> 00:31:30,765 I-I mean, you are hands down 843 00:31:30,765 --> 00:31:32,559 the best sniffer I've ever met. 844 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:33,977 - Huh. - But you're also smart 845 00:31:33,977 --> 00:31:35,228 and you can jump high 846 00:31:35,228 --> 00:31:37,689 and you know like nine human words. 847 00:31:37,689 --> 00:31:38,982 That's insane. 848 00:31:38,982 --> 00:31:41,025 I actually know 31, but thank you. 849 00:31:41,025 --> 00:31:43,528 Honestly, I-I'd have to list about 20 more things 850 00:31:43,528 --> 00:31:45,613 before I even got to anything to do with 851 00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:47,240 how beautiful you are. 852 00:31:49,284 --> 00:31:50,910 Um... 853 00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:52,495 I'm sorry, that was too much. 854 00:31:52,495 --> 00:31:55,623 No, that-that means a lot to me. 855 00:31:55,623 --> 00:31:58,418 You know, you're a really good listener. 856 00:31:58,418 --> 00:31:59,836 Oh, that's because all the sound 857 00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:01,504 funnels through the cone right to my ears. 858 00:32:01,504 --> 00:32:03,173 (chuckles) No, I didn't... 859 00:32:03,173 --> 00:32:05,216 - Never mind. - Wait, wait. What? 860 00:32:05,216 --> 00:32:08,386 Have you ever thought about... about taking the cone off 861 00:32:08,386 --> 00:32:11,472 for a little while just to... just to see? 862 00:32:11,472 --> 00:32:12,932 No. 863 00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:15,310 I bet you'd look really handsome. (chuckles) 864 00:32:15,310 --> 00:32:16,728 Really? 865 00:32:16,728 --> 00:32:18,313 Yeah. 866 00:32:18,313 --> 00:32:19,939 BUG (laughing): That's how you do it, Reg, baby. 867 00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:21,399 REGGIE: That was awesome! 868 00:32:21,399 --> 00:32:24,027 Oh, wait a minute. Okay, what's this vibe? 869 00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:25,278 - (stammering): Oh, no. - Oh, nothing. 870 00:32:25,278 --> 00:32:26,571 - Yeah, what vibe? - Nothing. 871 00:32:26,571 --> 00:32:27,989 - What vibe? - There is no vibe. 872 00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:30,158 Your boner implies that there's a vibe. 873 00:32:30,158 --> 00:32:33,161 Oh, uh, well, you know, that's because our friendship... 874 00:32:33,161 --> 00:32:34,871 (chuckles) got me erect. 875 00:32:34,871 --> 00:32:36,497 Yeah, it was a friend boner. 876 00:32:36,497 --> 00:32:38,416 Then why don't you get boners for us? 877 00:32:38,416 --> 00:32:40,835 I mean, uh, are we not your friends? 878 00:32:40,835 --> 00:32:43,504 What? No, no, you guys get me hard all the time. 879 00:32:43,504 --> 00:32:47,050 Hunter, that's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard. 880 00:32:47,050 --> 00:32:49,802 Speaking of boners, how about some sausages? 881 00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:51,304 We took 'em from a human. 882 00:32:51,304 --> 00:32:53,765 You stole these from a human? What if someone saw? 883 00:32:53,765 --> 00:32:55,767 Relax. Grow back some testicles. 884 00:32:55,767 --> 00:32:57,894 - Ain't nobody saw. - (fireworks booming) 885 00:32:57,894 --> 00:33:00,146 (Hunter and Maggie gasping, yelping) 886 00:33:00,146 --> 00:33:01,522 God saw! 887 00:33:01,522 --> 00:33:03,316 God sees everything! 888 00:33:03,316 --> 00:33:05,109 - Run! - (Maggie screams) 889 00:33:05,109 --> 00:33:07,237 - We're under attack! - Save yourselves! 890 00:33:07,237 --> 00:33:08,696 We got to find cover! 891 00:33:08,696 --> 00:33:10,698 The whole fucking place is gonna blow! 892 00:33:10,698 --> 00:33:12,408 Move! Move! 893 00:33:12,408 --> 00:33:13,910 - (screaming) - HUNTER: Oh, God! 894 00:33:13,910 --> 00:33:15,995 - REGGIE: We're all gonna die! - (bell clangs) 895 00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:17,538 Mama! 896 00:33:17,538 --> 00:33:19,249 - (fireworks popping quietly) - Wow. 897 00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:20,959 (gentle carnival music plays) 898 00:33:20,959 --> 00:33:22,585 - (fireworks booming loudly) - Duck! -Stay low! 899 00:33:22,585 --> 00:33:25,380 - They got us surrounded! - Go, go, go! 900 00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:26,589 - Run! - They're coming after us! 901 00:33:26,589 --> 00:33:27,882 This way! Hurry! 902 00:33:27,882 --> 00:33:29,842 HUNTER: It's so loud inside the cone! 903 00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:33,513 - Oh, shit. - No. 904 00:33:33,513 --> 00:33:35,139 - No, no, no, no, no, no! - We got to get over. 905 00:33:35,139 --> 00:33:37,725 We got to dig. We got to dig! 906 00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:38,935 Dig. Dig faster. 907 00:33:38,935 --> 00:33:40,395 Hunter, Maggie, help us dig. 908 00:33:40,395 --> 00:33:42,647 - What? What's going on? - Come on, Maggie, dig! 909 00:33:42,647 --> 00:33:44,649 - You said you love digging. - I lied! 910 00:33:44,649 --> 00:33:47,527 - I hate digging! - There we go. 911 00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:48,987 Okay, let's go. 912 00:33:48,987 --> 00:33:50,989 Oh, I hate how the dirt feels under my nails! 913 00:33:50,989 --> 00:33:52,490 Wait, wait. Guys, I'm stuck! 914 00:33:52,490 --> 00:33:54,993 My bandanna's stuck! 915 00:33:54,993 --> 00:33:56,744 Aah! 916 00:33:56,744 --> 00:33:58,288 - Oh, no. - Reggie! 917 00:33:58,288 --> 00:34:00,415 - Reggie, no! - Reggie, come on, buddy. 918 00:34:00,415 --> 00:34:01,582 Maggie, Hunter, help me out. 919 00:34:01,582 --> 00:34:03,084 No, no, no, no. Get out of here. 920 00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:04,294 It-It's too late for me. 921 00:34:04,294 --> 00:34:06,087 Listen to me. It's not too late. 922 00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:07,755 No. Save yourself. 923 00:34:07,755 --> 00:34:11,050 And tell Doug I wanted to bite his dick off. 924 00:34:11,050 --> 00:34:13,303 Bite it for me, if you can. 925 00:34:13,303 --> 00:34:15,513 Look at me. You're gonna live, 926 00:34:15,513 --> 00:34:19,183 and you're gonna bite that dick yourself. 927 00:34:19,183 --> 00:34:20,810 MAGGIE: Hunter, the fence! 928 00:34:20,810 --> 00:34:22,979 (grunting, growling) 929 00:34:22,979 --> 00:34:24,314 Check this out. 930 00:34:24,314 --> 00:34:26,482 (grunting): Come on. 931 00:34:26,482 --> 00:34:28,901 Holy shit, they have a bomb! 932 00:34:29,819 --> 00:34:32,989 - Come on, Reggie. - Come on. (grunting) 933 00:34:35,950 --> 00:34:37,618 REGGIE: I'm almost free. I'm almost free. 934 00:34:37,618 --> 00:34:38,786 - Come on, Reggie! - Aah! 935 00:34:38,786 --> 00:34:40,330 Aah! Come on, let's go! 936 00:34:41,039 --> 00:34:42,707 BUG: Let's move, move, move, move! 937 00:34:42,707 --> 00:34:45,001 MAGGIE: Come on, guys, let's go! 938 00:34:46,878 --> 00:34:48,338 (sighs) 939 00:34:48,338 --> 00:34:50,840 Oh, well, uh... 940 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,425 You guys want to kiss a little? 941 00:34:52,425 --> 00:34:55,762 - (all panting) - Oh, my God! Holy shit. 942 00:34:55,762 --> 00:34:57,388 Guys, that was crazy. 943 00:34:57,388 --> 00:34:59,390 I feel like now I need an emotional support dog. 944 00:34:59,390 --> 00:35:02,602 Bug, (laughs) you looked like you were gonna shit yourself. 945 00:35:02,602 --> 00:35:04,604 I did. I literally did that. 946 00:35:04,604 --> 00:35:06,230 Oh, God. -HUNTER: He did. I stepped in it. 947 00:35:06,230 --> 00:35:08,358 - (panting) - Reg, you okay? 948 00:35:08,358 --> 00:35:10,068 Uh, it's nothing. I-I... 949 00:35:10,068 --> 00:35:13,488 It's just, you guys risked your life for me. 950 00:35:13,488 --> 00:35:15,156 Bug, you saved me. 951 00:35:15,156 --> 00:35:16,991 I never thought anyone would do that. 952 00:35:16,991 --> 00:35:19,077 Of course we would. Come on. 953 00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:20,828 You're part of the pack, Reggie. 954 00:35:20,828 --> 00:35:22,663 - We stick together. - HUNTER: That's right. 955 00:35:22,663 --> 00:35:24,540 I've never been part of a pack before. 956 00:35:24,540 --> 00:35:25,750 Well, you are now. 957 00:35:25,750 --> 00:35:27,502 I didn't even know that was a thing. 958 00:35:27,502 --> 00:35:29,295 - (laughter) - We'll make it a thing. 959 00:35:29,295 --> 00:35:30,505 MAGGIE: Yeah. 960 00:35:30,505 --> 00:35:33,341 So, I kind of have a weird idea. 961 00:35:33,341 --> 00:35:35,927 Could... could we maybe... 962 00:35:35,927 --> 00:35:38,221 (scoffs) pee on each other? 963 00:35:38,221 --> 00:35:39,097 Say what, now? 964 00:35:39,097 --> 00:35:40,598 Well, you said that 965 00:35:40,598 --> 00:35:42,517 when you pee on something that it's yours. 966 00:35:42,517 --> 00:35:44,102 I just thought that, since we're all, 967 00:35:44,102 --> 00:35:45,603 like, friends now, we could... 968 00:35:45,603 --> 00:35:48,940 Pee on each other so we belong to each other? 969 00:35:48,940 --> 00:35:50,066 Yeah. 970 00:35:50,066 --> 00:35:51,943 (scoffs) That was a stupid idea. 971 00:35:51,943 --> 00:35:55,613 Jenna would be so mad if I came home covered in urine. 972 00:35:56,489 --> 00:35:58,324 - Let's fucking do it. - HUNTER: Oh, we're doing it. 973 00:35:58,324 --> 00:36:00,993 Okay. Why don't we, like, do, like, a circle thing? 974 00:36:00,993 --> 00:36:02,870 Yeah, and let's just lift our left leg. -Starboard side. 975 00:36:02,870 --> 00:36:05,415 Yeah, lift our left leg, and then we'll... -There we go. 976 00:36:05,415 --> 00:36:07,792 - Oh, good, I get to pee on Bug. - Yeah, that's good. 977 00:36:07,792 --> 00:36:09,377 (all sighing) 978 00:36:09,377 --> 00:36:10,586 BUG: Whoa. 979 00:36:10,586 --> 00:36:12,046 You know, this isn't just warming my body. 980 00:36:12,046 --> 00:36:13,339 It's warming my heart. 981 00:36:13,339 --> 00:36:14,632 - REGGIE: Aw. - BUG: Wow. 982 00:36:14,632 --> 00:36:16,509 I guess this makes us family now. 983 00:36:16,509 --> 00:36:18,636 - Yeah, we're BFFs. - HUNTER: Yeah. 984 00:36:18,636 --> 00:36:21,305 Even better. We're Pee-FFs. 985 00:36:21,305 --> 00:36:23,307 (chuckling): Pee-FFs! I love it. 986 00:36:23,307 --> 00:36:25,852 - Yeah. Love that. - MAGGIE: Oh, Bug! 987 00:36:25,852 --> 00:36:27,770 You look happy. 988 00:36:27,770 --> 00:36:29,313 What are you talking about, I look happy? 989 00:36:29,313 --> 00:36:30,731 I'm just smiling because we're all sitting here 990 00:36:30,731 --> 00:36:32,275 pissing on each other, so I just... 991 00:36:32,275 --> 00:36:34,152 I cracked a smile. It's not an emotional thing. 992 00:36:34,152 --> 00:36:35,862 - Nah, you love us. - MAGGIE: You love us! 993 00:36:35,862 --> 00:36:37,572 Okay, that's it. -HUNTER: Yeah, that's right. You do. 994 00:36:37,572 --> 00:36:39,240 - That's my cue to go to bed. - Oh, come on, Bug. 995 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:41,451 Look, listen, listen, we got a lot of walking to do 996 00:36:41,451 --> 00:36:42,952 and not much time to do it. 997 00:36:42,952 --> 00:36:45,079 Let's get some sleep. 998 00:36:45,079 --> 00:36:47,165 H-H-Ho-Hold on one second. 999 00:36:50,501 --> 00:36:52,378 - Go back the other way. - Better the other way. 1000 00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:54,255 Try sniffing the ground. H-Have you tried sniffing the ground? 1001 00:36:54,255 --> 00:36:56,382 - Fucked that one up. (groans) - You got to reset yourself. 1002 00:36:56,382 --> 00:36:57,884 - Yeah, you go back 90 degrees. - Fucked that one up, too. 1003 00:36:57,884 --> 00:36:59,469 - You were so close. - REGGIE: Now sit down. 1004 00:36:59,469 --> 00:37:01,804 - That'll do. That'll do. - All right, finally, good. 1005 00:37:01,804 --> 00:37:04,682 - Time for bed. Yeah. Okay. - MAGGIE: Let's get some sleep. 1006 00:37:04,682 --> 00:37:06,225 HUNTER: And a quick turn. 1007 00:37:06,225 --> 00:37:08,060 - Time to go to sl... - Wait. Hang on. -One turn. 1008 00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:09,687 - Two turns. Three turns. - MAGGIE: Oh, God. 1009 00:37:09,687 --> 00:37:11,063 Bug's really fucked with my head. I don't know... 1010 00:37:11,063 --> 00:37:12,815 - There. - MAGGIE: Five, 1011 00:37:12,815 --> 00:37:14,650 - four, three, two, one. - HUNTER: Again. Again. Okay. 1012 00:37:14,650 --> 00:37:15,776 Okay, okay, now I'm ready. 1013 00:37:15,776 --> 00:37:18,237 - (muttering) - MAGGIE: Easy. 1014 00:37:18,237 --> 00:37:20,323 And... down. 1015 00:37:20,323 --> 00:37:22,533 I'm getting much faster at that. 1016 00:37:23,784 --> 00:37:25,286 - Good night, everyone. - Good night, Reg. 1017 00:37:25,286 --> 00:37:26,496 - Good night, Reggie. - And, uh, thanks again 1018 00:37:26,496 --> 00:37:27,997 for letting me pee on you guys. 1019 00:37:27,997 --> 00:37:29,332 - Reggie? - Yeah? 1020 00:37:29,332 --> 00:37:30,666 Could you just stop fucking talking, please? 1021 00:37:30,666 --> 00:37:32,627 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 1022 00:37:34,462 --> 00:37:36,631 ♪ ♪ 1023 00:37:38,007 --> 00:37:40,092 (birds calling) 1024 00:37:40,968 --> 00:37:43,221 REGGIE: Okay, guys. Big day today. 1025 00:37:43,221 --> 00:37:44,972 Next up is the giant cone. 1026 00:37:44,972 --> 00:37:47,350 BUG: I don't know what kind of cone we're gonna find out here. 1027 00:37:47,350 --> 00:37:49,810 REGGIE: It can't be too hard to find. It's gigantic. 1028 00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:51,687 BUG: All I see is trees, but whatever. 1029 00:37:51,687 --> 00:37:54,774 Hey, mate, have you thought about how you're gonna do it? 1030 00:37:54,774 --> 00:37:56,234 Uh, sorry. D-Do what? 1031 00:37:56,234 --> 00:37:57,902 - Bite Doug's dick off. - Oh. 1032 00:37:57,902 --> 00:38:00,988 Were you thinking lengthwise or tip-to-shaft? 1033 00:38:00,988 --> 00:38:03,658 Gosh, I don't know. I-I've never bitten off a dick before. 1034 00:38:03,658 --> 00:38:06,327 (chuckles) I guess I'll let it just come to me in the moment. 1035 00:38:06,327 --> 00:38:08,829 So, at what point of this trip are you gonna build up 1036 00:38:08,829 --> 00:38:10,498 a little BDE and make a move, huh? 1037 00:38:10,498 --> 00:38:12,333 With Maggie? -Yes, Mag... No, with this mossy stump. 1038 00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:14,293 What the fuck you think I'm talking about? 1039 00:38:14,293 --> 00:38:16,796 (chuckles) No way. She wouldn't go for me. 1040 00:38:16,796 --> 00:38:19,048 I mean, maybe a door opens up down the road, 1041 00:38:19,048 --> 00:38:20,550 but for now we're just friends. 1042 00:38:20,550 --> 00:38:22,301 Wh-What are you talking about, opening up doors? 1043 00:38:22,301 --> 00:38:23,594 We don't have thumbs. 1044 00:38:23,594 --> 00:38:25,555 You got to knock the fucking door down. 1045 00:38:25,555 --> 00:38:27,265 Yeah, but who would want to date 1046 00:38:27,265 --> 00:38:30,101 a failed police dog who wears a cone 24/7? 1047 00:38:30,101 --> 00:38:33,563 Oh, come on, dude. Girls date losers all the time. 1048 00:38:33,563 --> 00:38:37,483 You know, Reggie, that you don't have to do it, right? 1049 00:38:37,483 --> 00:38:39,777 What are you talking about? Of course I do. 1050 00:38:39,777 --> 00:38:41,529 I'm gonna get all over that dick. 1051 00:38:41,529 --> 00:38:43,030 Chomp, chomp, chomp. Mmm! 1052 00:38:43,030 --> 00:38:45,366 Yeah, but you could just, you know, move on from Doug, 1053 00:38:45,366 --> 00:38:47,785 and then you wouldn't have to do anything to him at all. 1054 00:38:47,785 --> 00:38:49,787 You could always just let it go. 1055 00:38:49,787 --> 00:38:51,539 I-I'm not... (chuckles) 1056 00:38:51,539 --> 00:38:53,916 No, I'm not just gonna let it go. 1057 00:38:53,916 --> 00:38:55,251 All right, look, 1058 00:38:55,251 --> 00:38:56,877 you failed doggie school 'cause you was a wuss, 1059 00:38:56,877 --> 00:38:58,921 but there's nothing we can do about your past. 1060 00:38:58,921 --> 00:39:02,425 We might, however, be able to get that thing off your head. 1061 00:39:02,425 --> 00:39:04,594 - This? No, no, you can't. - Sure, we can. 1062 00:39:04,594 --> 00:39:06,637 If we all pull together, we could... 1063 00:39:06,637 --> 00:39:08,723 No, no, I mean, I-I need it. 1064 00:39:08,723 --> 00:39:10,891 I keep it on intentionally. 1065 00:39:10,891 --> 00:39:12,476 Wait, really? I just assumed 1066 00:39:12,476 --> 00:39:14,228 it was, like, you know, a medical thing. 1067 00:39:14,228 --> 00:39:15,438 Oh, it is. 1068 00:39:15,438 --> 00:39:17,064 I-I'll do anything to keep it on. 1069 00:39:17,064 --> 00:39:19,400 And most self-inflicted injuries will do the trick. 1070 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,819 You know, cat scratches, ear infection from the toilet, 1071 00:39:21,819 --> 00:39:23,946 lick my testicles for hours and hours 1072 00:39:23,946 --> 00:39:26,407 until the humans get concerned. 1073 00:39:26,407 --> 00:39:29,076 But it's worth it. I get anxious sometimes, 1074 00:39:29,076 --> 00:39:31,746 and the cone helps me block things out. 1075 00:39:31,746 --> 00:39:34,081 What are you guys talking about? 1076 00:39:34,081 --> 00:39:36,375 Oh, uh, nothing. You know, same old, same old. 1077 00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:37,918 I'm telling him he's got to get 1078 00:39:37,918 --> 00:39:39,670 - that big dick energy. - (scoffs) Bug. 1079 00:39:39,670 --> 00:39:41,547 Well, you got the first part down. 1080 00:39:41,547 --> 00:39:43,674 Aw, thanks for complimenting my penis, Maggie. 1081 00:39:43,674 --> 00:39:45,551 You know, your vagina's huge, too. 1082 00:39:45,551 --> 00:39:48,721 - Seriously? - Shit. Why did I say that? 1083 00:39:50,056 --> 00:39:51,849 BUG: Hey, Reg, let me ask you something. 1084 00:39:51,849 --> 00:39:53,351 - REGGIE: Yeah? - How sure are you 1085 00:39:53,351 --> 00:39:55,019 that the big cone is this way? 1086 00:39:55,019 --> 00:39:58,522 I don't know, on a scale of sure to not sure, 1087 00:39:58,522 --> 00:40:00,316 pretty sure... 1088 00:40:02,109 --> 00:40:04,028 ...that I'm not really sure. That I'm sure of. 1089 00:40:04,028 --> 00:40:06,113 - Holy shit. We're lost. - MAGGIE: Ah, great. 1090 00:40:06,113 --> 00:40:08,115 - I knew this would happen. - Hey, calm down, Bug. 1091 00:40:08,115 --> 00:40:10,117 We'll figure it out. This could be a lot worse. 1092 00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:11,869 Oh, really, Hunter? I'm starving, 1093 00:40:11,869 --> 00:40:14,372 we're completely fucking lost, and my little puppy paw pads 1094 00:40:14,372 --> 00:40:15,956 are really hurting right now, 1095 00:40:15,956 --> 00:40:18,376 so how exactly could this get worse? 1096 00:40:19,210 --> 00:40:20,878 Huh? How could it? Tell me, huh? 1097 00:40:20,878 --> 00:40:22,630 How could it get worse? 1098 00:40:23,464 --> 00:40:24,882 - (bird screeching) - Oh, oh, oh! 1099 00:40:24,882 --> 00:40:26,634 Bug! -Why did I say it could get a lot worse? 1100 00:40:26,634 --> 00:40:28,386 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, please, please, please don't drop me. 1101 00:40:28,386 --> 00:40:30,096 - Don't eat me. None of that! - MAGGIE: Bug! 1102 00:40:30,096 --> 00:40:31,555 HUNTER: That eagle has some good timing. 1103 00:40:31,555 --> 00:40:33,140 Bug! Hold on, buddy! 1104 00:40:33,140 --> 00:40:34,684 Reg, Reggie, guys, help me. 1105 00:40:34,684 --> 00:40:36,977 Ask him if he wouldn't mind bringing you lower! 1106 00:40:36,977 --> 00:40:38,396 What? What are you talking about? 1107 00:40:38,396 --> 00:40:40,106 - I don't speak bird. - We're in a real pickle! 1108 00:40:40,106 --> 00:40:41,941 Help, help, help. Do something. Somebody do something. 1109 00:40:41,941 --> 00:40:43,609 Oh! Oh, God! 1110 00:40:43,609 --> 00:40:46,987 (Reggie yells, grunts) 1111 00:40:47,279 --> 00:40:48,155 Fuck! 1112 00:40:48,155 --> 00:40:50,658 BUG: Yes! No! Shit, this is fucking crazy. 1113 00:40:50,658 --> 00:40:52,201 - We're going higher. - HUNTER: Hold on, buddy. 1114 00:40:52,201 --> 00:40:53,828 Reggie! Bug! 1115 00:40:53,828 --> 00:40:56,956 Oh, wow, your balls look huge from this angle. 1116 00:40:56,956 --> 00:40:59,917 Thank you, but holy fuck! 1117 00:40:59,917 --> 00:41:01,127 (tweeting) 1118 00:41:01,127 --> 00:41:04,171 MAN: That is a golden-cheeked warbler. 1119 00:41:04,171 --> 00:41:06,632 I've been missing that one. 1120 00:41:07,550 --> 00:41:09,301 Uh... 1121 00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:13,264 (humming) 1122 00:41:13,264 --> 00:41:14,432 Check. 1123 00:41:14,432 --> 00:41:15,975 (sighs) 1124 00:41:15,975 --> 00:41:18,185 (Bug barking in distance) 1125 00:41:22,273 --> 00:41:24,275 Holy shit. 1126 00:41:24,275 --> 00:41:27,945 That is the craziest thing I have ever seen. 1127 00:41:29,029 --> 00:41:30,573 And I'm Dennis Quaid, 1128 00:41:30,573 --> 00:41:33,451 and Dennis Quaid has seen some shit. 1129 00:41:33,451 --> 00:41:35,786 - Let me down, bitch! - Bug, look! Over there! 1130 00:41:35,786 --> 00:41:37,538 - The giant cone! - What? 1131 00:41:37,538 --> 00:41:39,999 - REGGIE: The giant cone! - BUG: Oh, the cone. 1132 00:41:39,999 --> 00:41:41,459 Well, shit, that would be great news 1133 00:41:41,459 --> 00:41:43,461 if we weren't stuck to this fucking bird. 1134 00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:46,881 Bug, I got an idea. Hang on! 1135 00:41:46,881 --> 00:41:49,633 - (grunting) - Reg, what are you doing? 1136 00:41:49,633 --> 00:41:51,969 Oh, God. 1137 00:41:51,969 --> 00:41:54,472 That's bold. It's too bold. 1138 00:41:54,472 --> 00:41:56,140 (screaming) 1139 00:41:56,140 --> 00:41:58,350 REGGIE: Here we go! 1140 00:41:58,350 --> 00:41:59,727 (Bug gasps) 1141 00:42:01,479 --> 00:42:03,689 - Well, shit. Ow! - Aah! 1142 00:42:04,148 --> 00:42:05,566 Fuck! Not again! 1143 00:42:05,566 --> 00:42:07,651 (Bug and Reggie grunting and groaning rapidly) 1144 00:42:07,651 --> 00:42:08,819 Reggie! Bug! 1145 00:42:08,819 --> 00:42:10,946 - BUG: Aah! Help! - REGGIE: Aah! Branch! 1146 00:42:10,946 --> 00:42:13,240 - BUG: Shit! Fuck! - REGGIE: Oh! Smaller branch! 1147 00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:15,242 (both grunting and yelling) 1148 00:42:15,242 --> 00:42:17,495 (grunting and yelling continue) 1149 00:42:19,121 --> 00:42:21,248 Wow, they're hitting a worst-case-scenario 1150 00:42:21,248 --> 00:42:23,250 amount of branches. 1151 00:42:23,250 --> 00:42:25,377 BUG: Paws, paws, paws, paws, paws! 1152 00:42:25,377 --> 00:42:26,754 (grunts) Tail! 1153 00:42:26,754 --> 00:42:28,923 (grunts, sighs) 1154 00:42:28,923 --> 00:42:30,758 Oh, my God, I am so sorry. 1155 00:42:30,758 --> 00:42:32,968 I did not mean to barge in like this. 1156 00:42:32,968 --> 00:42:34,220 - What, are you guys wrestling? - (Bug yelling) 1157 00:42:34,220 --> 00:42:35,846 - BUG: Shit! - (both yelling) 1158 00:42:35,846 --> 00:42:38,474 - MAGGIE: Bug! - (Bug screaming) 1159 00:42:38,474 --> 00:42:40,684 - Reggie! - HUNTER: You're alive! 1160 00:42:40,684 --> 00:42:42,603 BUG: Fuck, got a stick up my ass. 1161 00:42:42,603 --> 00:42:44,355 REGGIE: Well, Hunter was right. 1162 00:42:44,355 --> 00:42:46,273 That could've been worse. 1163 00:42:46,273 --> 00:42:47,900 BUG: Just get the fuck out of the bush. 1164 00:42:47,900 --> 00:42:50,194 HUNTER: Reggie, you are once again a legend. 1165 00:42:50,194 --> 00:42:51,445 Guys, that was epic. 1166 00:42:51,445 --> 00:42:53,531 Fucking leaves. Get off me. 1167 00:42:53,531 --> 00:42:54,907 Guys, you wouldn't believe it. 1168 00:42:54,907 --> 00:42:56,158 - We saw the giant cone. - HUNTER: What? 1169 00:42:56,158 --> 00:42:57,201 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we did, we did. 1170 00:42:57,201 --> 00:42:58,786 - Really? - That's amazing. 1171 00:42:58,786 --> 00:42:59,995 Yeah, that means we're heading in the right direction. 1172 00:42:59,995 --> 00:43:01,288 Yeah, a-and not to be cheesy, 1173 00:43:01,288 --> 00:43:02,957 but being up in the sky like that 1174 00:43:02,957 --> 00:43:05,334 just moments from my death, 1175 00:43:05,334 --> 00:43:07,545 I-I learned something about life. 1176 00:43:07,545 --> 00:43:08,629 - Wh-What's that? - What? 1177 00:43:08,629 --> 00:43:10,548 Birds don't have genitals. 1178 00:43:10,548 --> 00:43:12,800 Well, then how do they... 1179 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,009 I don't know. 1180 00:43:14,009 --> 00:43:16,595 Maybe they have both parts inside. 1181 00:43:16,595 --> 00:43:18,556 So, if you were to say, "Go fuck yourself," 1182 00:43:18,556 --> 00:43:21,392 they could actually do it. 1183 00:43:22,434 --> 00:43:24,228 Um, okay, then. 1184 00:43:24,228 --> 00:43:26,897 So, hey, next up is the devil in the sky. 1185 00:43:26,897 --> 00:43:29,567 (Reggie, Bug and Maggie howling) 1186 00:43:29,567 --> 00:43:30,860 HUNTER: Howling. 1187 00:43:30,860 --> 00:43:32,570 Come on, guys, we're over halfway there. 1188 00:43:32,570 --> 00:43:34,989 HUNTER: Hey, my howl's getting better. You guys hear that? 1189 00:43:34,989 --> 00:43:36,949 - Hey, man, uh... - Yeah? 1190 00:43:36,949 --> 00:43:38,951 I really appreciate what you did up there. 1191 00:43:38,951 --> 00:43:40,953 I mean, no need to pee on each other 1192 00:43:40,953 --> 00:43:43,497 or anything like that, but thanks. 1193 00:43:43,497 --> 00:43:46,083 Of course. We're Pee-FFs. 1194 00:43:46,083 --> 00:43:47,585 We stick together. 1195 00:43:47,585 --> 00:43:49,169 All right, all right, all right. Enough. 1196 00:43:49,169 --> 00:43:50,713 Put your tongue back in your mouth. 1197 00:43:50,713 --> 00:43:53,674 ("A-O-K" by Tai Verdes playing) 1198 00:43:54,925 --> 00:43:58,345 HUNTER: Okay, okay. Never have I ever gone down on a girl dog. 1199 00:43:58,345 --> 00:43:59,597 MAGGIE: Really? Seriously? 1200 00:43:59,597 --> 00:44:00,931 You guys lick your balls all day. 1201 00:44:00,931 --> 00:44:02,600 HUNTER: Oh, no, no, no. That's different. 1202 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:04,351 - REGGIE: That's different. - HUNTER: That's different. 1203 00:44:04,351 --> 00:44:05,895 - MAGGIE: H-How is it different? - BUG: It's way different. 1204 00:44:05,895 --> 00:44:07,438 - REGGIE: Yeah. - HUNTER: Bones to biscuits. 1205 00:44:07,438 --> 00:44:08,898 MAGGIE: I can't believe that I'm the only one. 1206 00:44:08,898 --> 00:44:10,107 HUNTER: What, you went down on a... 1207 00:44:10,107 --> 00:44:11,692 MAGGIE: I was experimenting. 1208 00:44:11,692 --> 00:44:13,110 - Come on, I was in my twos. - BUG: Ah, yeah, yeah. 1209 00:44:13,110 --> 00:44:14,403 HUNTER: Oh, yeah, that's the twos. 1210 00:44:14,403 --> 00:44:15,863 REGGIE: Oh, like a Rumspringa. 1211 00:44:15,863 --> 00:44:17,489 ♪ Living in this big blue world... ♪ 1212 00:44:17,489 --> 00:44:20,326 REGGIE: Okay, I got one. Would you rather eat poop or... 1213 00:44:20,326 --> 00:44:21,660 BUG, HUNTER and MAGGIE: Eat poop. 1214 00:44:21,660 --> 00:44:23,078 BUG: Definitely eat poop. 1215 00:44:23,078 --> 00:44:24,496 REGGIE: Okay. But I didn't even get to... 1216 00:44:24,496 --> 00:44:25,789 BUG: It doesn't matter. I like poop. 1217 00:44:26,707 --> 00:44:28,918 REGGIE: So, question. When dogs have sex from behind... 1218 00:44:28,918 --> 00:44:30,336 HUNTER: Okay, okay. 1219 00:44:30,336 --> 00:44:31,795 - ...what's the style? - BUG: That's just called 1220 00:44:31,795 --> 00:44:33,255 - regular style. - MAGGIE: Regular style. 1221 00:44:33,255 --> 00:44:34,381 REGGIE: I mean, is there another style, 1222 00:44:34,381 --> 00:44:35,716 or do we only have one style? 1223 00:44:35,716 --> 00:44:36,967 BUG: I only know one style of fucking, 1224 00:44:36,967 --> 00:44:38,218 and I've been doing it my whole life. 1225 00:44:38,218 --> 00:44:39,803 REGGIE: Then what's human style? 1226 00:44:39,803 --> 00:44:41,305 BUG: In human style, the boy pretends to be the dog 1227 00:44:41,305 --> 00:44:43,098 and the girl pretends to be the couch. 1228 00:44:43,098 --> 00:44:44,350 It's very complicated. 1229 00:44:44,350 --> 00:44:46,060 REGGIE: Wow, that is complicated. 1230 00:44:46,060 --> 00:44:48,145 HUNTER: Every species is different. 1231 00:44:49,313 --> 00:44:51,482 ♪ Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate... ♪ 1232 00:44:51,482 --> 00:44:52,900 MAGGIE: All right, I've got a joke. 1233 00:44:52,900 --> 00:44:54,485 - Knock, knock. - (others barking) 1234 00:44:54,485 --> 00:44:56,236 MAGGIE: No, no, no. You got to ask, "Who's there?" 1235 00:44:56,236 --> 00:44:58,280 BUG: Oh, oh, okay. Got it, got it. 1236 00:44:58,280 --> 00:44:59,990 - MAGGIE: Knock, knock. - (others barking) 1237 00:44:59,990 --> 00:45:02,409 Guys, stop! You won't even let me get to the joke part. 1238 00:45:02,409 --> 00:45:04,244 HUNTER: Later, Maggie. Somebody's at the door. 1239 00:45:04,244 --> 00:45:06,246 BUG: Nothing funny about a stranger at the door. 1240 00:45:06,246 --> 00:45:09,124 MAGGIE: Ugh, you guys are fucking morons. 1241 00:45:09,124 --> 00:45:12,378 ♪ I know I'll be A-O, A-OK... ♪ 1242 00:45:12,378 --> 00:45:14,546 (sniffing) 1243 00:45:15,547 --> 00:45:17,257 MAGGIE: You guys got anything yet? 1244 00:45:17,257 --> 00:45:19,343 Nah. Man, and I'm starving. 1245 00:45:19,343 --> 00:45:20,803 Anything edible over there? 1246 00:45:20,803 --> 00:45:22,054 Like a buffalo chicken pizza? 1247 00:45:22,054 --> 00:45:23,430 Nah, just squirrel poops. 1248 00:45:23,430 --> 00:45:24,932 Ah, nah, I can't eat no more of that shit. 1249 00:45:24,932 --> 00:45:26,350 You know what, that goes right through me. 1250 00:45:26,350 --> 00:45:28,936 REGGIE: Hey, I think I got something. 1251 00:45:28,936 --> 00:45:30,813 What do you got? 1252 00:45:34,024 --> 00:45:36,193 - What are those? - Kind of looks like food. 1253 00:45:36,193 --> 00:45:37,820 I-I don't... I don't know. 1254 00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:40,364 - ALL: Mmm. - REGGIE: Oh, it's not too bad. 1255 00:45:40,364 --> 00:45:41,865 BUG: I'm down to clown. 1256 00:45:41,865 --> 00:45:43,534 REGGIE: Mmm. How many of these should we eat? 1257 00:45:43,534 --> 00:45:45,119 - HUNTER: Mm, all of them? - BUG: Yeah, that makes sense. 1258 00:45:45,119 --> 00:45:47,121 MAGGIE: These are so good. Mmm. 1259 00:45:47,121 --> 00:45:48,330 Ooh, this one's spicy. 1260 00:45:48,330 --> 00:45:50,749 HUNTER: Kind of nutty, right? 1261 00:45:56,213 --> 00:45:58,340 (belches) All right. 1262 00:45:58,340 --> 00:46:00,134 (sighs) That should hold us. 1263 00:46:00,134 --> 00:46:01,719 Solid dinner. 1264 00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,471 Mmm. All right, let's get moving. 1265 00:46:04,471 --> 00:46:06,932 Oh, shit. Uh, give me a sec. 1266 00:46:06,932 --> 00:46:08,475 Whoa, whoa. 1267 00:46:08,475 --> 00:46:10,144 What the fuck? 1268 00:46:13,689 --> 00:46:16,650 ("Flat Beat" by Mr. Oizo playing) 1269 00:46:19,236 --> 00:46:21,488 Hunter, your cone. 1270 00:46:21,488 --> 00:46:24,783 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. I should probably take it off. 1271 00:46:24,783 --> 00:46:26,785 No, no. It's growing. 1272 00:46:26,785 --> 00:46:28,245 Oh, my God. 1273 00:46:28,245 --> 00:46:29,788 (laughs): Oh, my God. 1274 00:46:29,788 --> 00:46:31,832 - FEMALE VOICE: Bug. - No. 1275 00:46:31,832 --> 00:46:33,500 FEMALE VOICE (singsongy): Bug... 1276 00:46:33,500 --> 00:46:34,835 BUG: Can't be. 1277 00:46:36,837 --> 00:46:38,172 Dolores. 1278 00:46:38,172 --> 00:46:39,965 Hello, Bug. 1279 00:46:39,965 --> 00:46:41,258 What you doing out here? 1280 00:46:41,258 --> 00:46:42,426 We need to talk. 1281 00:46:42,426 --> 00:46:45,012 Wait, Maggie. You look different. 1282 00:46:45,012 --> 00:46:46,180 Really? 1283 00:46:46,180 --> 00:46:48,432 Oh, shit. You look different, too. 1284 00:46:48,432 --> 00:46:50,601 - How so? - Um, you kind of... 1285 00:46:50,601 --> 00:46:53,771 Is it my human hands? 1286 00:46:53,771 --> 00:46:55,272 Hey, do you think I could play piano now? 1287 00:46:55,272 --> 00:46:56,440 MAGGIE: Definitely. 1288 00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,567 (buzzing) 1289 00:47:01,361 --> 00:47:02,821 REGGIE: Doug? 1290 00:47:03,614 --> 00:47:04,990 (echoing): Hey, Reggie. 1291 00:47:04,990 --> 00:47:06,450 Doug! 1292 00:47:06,450 --> 00:47:07,868 How's it going? 1293 00:47:07,868 --> 00:47:09,286 Not great. 1294 00:47:09,286 --> 00:47:11,038 Just giving it one last shave, 1295 00:47:11,038 --> 00:47:13,791 'cause word on the street is you're planning to bite it off. 1296 00:47:13,791 --> 00:47:15,542 Oh, that was supposed to be a surprise. 1297 00:47:15,542 --> 00:47:17,211 Who told you? 1298 00:47:18,045 --> 00:47:19,880 - Sorry, Daddy. - Oh! 1299 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,423 My son, the gnome. 1300 00:47:21,423 --> 00:47:23,133 - We're done, Bug. - What? 1301 00:47:23,133 --> 00:47:25,302 - I'm seeing someone else now. - Who? 1302 00:47:25,302 --> 00:47:26,345 (bird screeches) 1303 00:47:26,345 --> 00:47:27,638 BUG: You kidding me? Him? 1304 00:47:27,638 --> 00:47:29,348 Hey, go fuck yourself, man! 1305 00:47:30,057 --> 00:47:32,392 I actually can. I have both parts! 1306 00:47:32,392 --> 00:47:33,644 Dolores, come back! 1307 00:47:33,644 --> 00:47:35,020 GUS: He yelled to the sky. 1308 00:47:35,020 --> 00:47:37,022 But what Bug didn't realize... 1309 00:47:37,022 --> 00:47:38,440 Oh, fuck you, narrator dog. 1310 00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:39,483 GUS: He said. 1311 00:47:39,483 --> 00:47:41,235 Stop saying, "He said." 1312 00:47:42,027 --> 00:47:43,570 GUS: He replied. 1313 00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:46,156 I always had such high hopes for you, Reggie. 1314 00:47:46,156 --> 00:47:48,075 I just wanted you to be a... 1315 00:47:48,075 --> 00:47:50,452 (distorted): good boy. 1316 00:47:51,453 --> 00:47:53,747 All I ever wanted was to be a good boy. 1317 00:47:53,747 --> 00:47:55,165 Goodbye, Reggie. 1318 00:47:57,084 --> 00:47:58,961 Wait! Doug, come back! 1319 00:47:58,961 --> 00:48:00,587 Oh, whoa. What's that smell? 1320 00:48:00,587 --> 00:48:02,256 - What? Wh-What? - (sniffing) 1321 00:48:02,256 --> 00:48:04,299 MAGGIE: It's coming from over here. 1322 00:48:04,299 --> 00:48:05,843 Hunter, are you seeing this? 1323 00:48:05,843 --> 00:48:06,969 (toy squeaking) 1324 00:48:06,969 --> 00:48:08,512 HUNTER and MAGGIE: Toys! 1325 00:48:08,512 --> 00:48:10,848 Guys, get in here. Get over here. 1326 00:48:10,848 --> 00:48:12,099 (toys squeaking) 1327 00:48:12,099 --> 00:48:14,184 BUG: Reg, Reg! Pull this one with me. 1328 00:48:14,184 --> 00:48:15,894 - It's squishy! - Oh, fluffy! 1329 00:48:15,894 --> 00:48:17,521 I can't feel my snout. 1330 00:48:17,521 --> 00:48:19,690 MAGGIE: Oh, there's toys everywhere! 1331 00:48:19,690 --> 00:48:21,024 (laughing) 1332 00:48:21,024 --> 00:48:24,903 HUNTER: Oh, I don't want this day to ever end. 1333 00:48:24,903 --> 00:48:27,072 Yeah. Me, neither. 1334 00:48:28,866 --> 00:48:31,034 (birds calling) 1335 00:48:34,246 --> 00:48:36,999 (snoring) 1336 00:48:39,042 --> 00:48:41,086 Morning, guys. 1337 00:48:41,086 --> 00:48:42,254 Comfy? 1338 00:48:42,254 --> 00:48:44,173 Oh, shit. I thought you were Dolores. 1339 00:48:44,173 --> 00:48:45,841 My bad. I got to go pee. 1340 00:48:45,841 --> 00:48:47,718 What's that by your feet, Reggie? 1341 00:48:47,718 --> 00:48:49,011 My feet? 1342 00:48:49,011 --> 00:48:50,387 What are you talking about? What is that? 1343 00:48:50,387 --> 00:48:51,430 Yeah, what is that? 1344 00:48:51,430 --> 00:48:53,390 Oh, my God. That's an ear. 1345 00:48:54,099 --> 00:48:56,476 - An ear? - Holy fucking shit. 1346 00:48:56,476 --> 00:48:58,896 They were toys. Guys, where are the goddamn toys? 1347 00:48:58,896 --> 00:49:01,398 This is not real. This is not real. 1348 00:49:01,398 --> 00:49:02,608 HUNTER: Th-This is real. 1349 00:49:02,608 --> 00:49:04,401 This is real. Oh, my God! 1350 00:49:04,401 --> 00:49:05,736 We killed 'em! (gasping) 1351 00:49:05,736 --> 00:49:07,070 I'm gonna barf. 1352 00:49:07,070 --> 00:49:09,114 (retches) Oh, God. There's fur in the barf. 1353 00:49:09,114 --> 00:49:11,325 We're fucking murderers! Oh, my God, now I'm gonna barf. 1354 00:49:11,325 --> 00:49:13,243 Holy fuck. Holy fuck. This can't be happening. 1355 00:49:13,243 --> 00:49:14,661 Hang in there. Stay with me. 1356 00:49:14,661 --> 00:49:15,871 I-I'll fix you. 1357 00:49:15,871 --> 00:49:17,372 Bug, what are you doing? 1358 00:49:17,372 --> 00:49:18,874 What it look like I'm doing? 1359 00:49:18,874 --> 00:49:20,918 I'm getting rid of the evidence. Nobody can know! 1360 00:49:25,672 --> 00:49:27,883 (flies buzzing) 1361 00:49:29,301 --> 00:49:33,889 Um, we are gathered here today to say goodbye to the bunnies. 1362 00:49:33,889 --> 00:49:36,099 Honestly, what we did was an accident. 1363 00:49:36,099 --> 00:49:37,809 - Absolutely. - Mm-hmm. -Right. 1364 00:49:37,809 --> 00:49:40,437 And I know that if we weren't confused from the food we ate 1365 00:49:40,437 --> 00:49:43,398 we would have never mauled you, tore all your limbs off 1366 00:49:43,398 --> 00:49:46,818 and shook your corpses around while giggling gleefully... 1367 00:49:46,818 --> 00:49:48,195 by accident. 1368 00:49:48,195 --> 00:49:49,947 So, bless you, bunnies. 1369 00:49:49,947 --> 00:49:51,031 - Yes. Sorry. - Bless you. 1370 00:49:51,031 --> 00:49:52,324 - So sorry. - Sorry. 1371 00:49:52,324 --> 00:49:53,867 - Amen. - All right, that's it. 1372 00:49:53,867 --> 00:49:55,244 Never speak of this again. 1373 00:49:55,244 --> 00:49:56,912 Not one word, you hear me? 1374 00:49:56,912 --> 00:49:58,538 Not one fucking word. 1375 00:49:58,538 --> 00:50:00,791 - Not one word about what? - Oh, shit. The cops. 1376 00:50:00,791 --> 00:50:02,334 "Oh, shit" is right, motherfucker. 1377 00:50:02,334 --> 00:50:04,628 Wait, wh-what did we do? We're innocent. I promise. 1378 00:50:04,628 --> 00:50:06,046 - Sit! - I am. 1379 00:50:06,046 --> 00:50:08,257 On the ground. Lay down, paws where I can see 'em. 1380 00:50:08,257 --> 00:50:10,050 - We are laying down. - Search these bitches. 1381 00:50:10,050 --> 00:50:11,468 They're hiding something. 1382 00:50:11,468 --> 00:50:13,220 - Oh, God. What do we do? - Calm down. I got this. 1383 00:50:13,220 --> 00:50:15,138 I'm-a speak with my white dog voice. 1384 00:50:15,138 --> 00:50:16,640 Hello, Officer. 1385 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,183 None of us have ever killed 1386 00:50:18,183 --> 00:50:20,102 - a bunny in our lives. - MAGGIE, REGGIE, HUNTER: Bug! 1387 00:50:20,102 --> 00:50:21,728 What? Everybody, shut the fuck up. 1388 00:50:21,728 --> 00:50:24,314 We're looking for a lost Girl Scout, Riley Anderson, 1389 00:50:24,314 --> 00:50:25,983 age eight in human years. 1390 00:50:25,983 --> 00:50:28,026 Wandered away from her campsite two days ago. 1391 00:50:28,026 --> 00:50:30,153 Thought you dogs might have some contact with her. 1392 00:50:30,153 --> 00:50:31,738 I've got nothing, sir. 1393 00:50:31,738 --> 00:50:33,490 But it smells like you haven't. Let's move out. 1394 00:50:33,490 --> 00:50:35,075 Wait, wait. I could help. 1395 00:50:35,075 --> 00:50:37,244 I'm sorry, I don't really want to be that bitch, 1396 00:50:37,244 --> 00:50:39,329 but I'm actually really good at sniffing, 1397 00:50:39,329 --> 00:50:42,165 and I'd be happy to assist in finding this lost girl. 1398 00:50:42,165 --> 00:50:45,752 Adorable. Yeah, no, thanks, Australian shep-turd. 1399 00:50:45,752 --> 00:50:47,462 Excuse me, but you really shouldn't 1400 00:50:47,462 --> 00:50:48,839 talk to her like that. 1401 00:50:48,839 --> 00:50:51,049 And what the fuck are you gonna do about it? 1402 00:50:51,049 --> 00:50:52,718 I-I will do nothing the fuck about it. 1403 00:50:52,718 --> 00:50:54,386 I am sitting down now. 1404 00:50:54,386 --> 00:50:55,595 Oh, Hunter. 1405 00:50:55,595 --> 00:50:56,888 Hunter? 1406 00:50:56,888 --> 00:50:58,682 Rolf? 1407 00:50:58,682 --> 00:51:01,476 Holy mother-flipping shit! 1408 00:51:01,476 --> 00:51:03,186 I didn't recognize you with the cone. 1409 00:51:03,186 --> 00:51:04,938 Yeah, yeah, I got a cone now. 1410 00:51:04,938 --> 00:51:06,189 Bring it in, bro. 1411 00:51:06,189 --> 00:51:07,566 - Buddy! - Give us some. 1412 00:51:07,566 --> 00:51:09,067 ROLF: God, hey, well, I should've known, 1413 00:51:09,067 --> 00:51:10,694 'cause your butthole smells exactly the same. 1414 00:51:10,694 --> 00:51:12,612 HUNTER: You know, I'll never forget this butthole. 1415 00:51:12,612 --> 00:51:13,780 - The fuck? - You know this guy? 1416 00:51:13,780 --> 00:51:15,198 ROLF: You kidding me? 1417 00:51:15,198 --> 00:51:17,284 This fucker and I went to the academy together. 1418 00:51:17,284 --> 00:51:19,745 Everything I know, I learned from this son of a bitch. 1419 00:51:19,745 --> 00:51:21,580 Technically, we're all sons of bitches, sir. 1420 00:51:21,580 --> 00:51:22,706 Shut up. 1421 00:51:22,706 --> 00:51:24,416 Hey, so where'd you end up, brother? 1422 00:51:24,416 --> 00:51:26,335 Drug sniffing, bomb detection? What are we talking about? 1423 00:51:26,335 --> 00:51:29,588 Oh, um, well, I take care of dying humans. 1424 00:51:29,588 --> 00:51:32,716 Oh. Well, I mean, that's not the end of the world, I guess. 1425 00:51:32,716 --> 00:51:34,634 Well, for them it is. (chuckles) 1426 00:51:34,634 --> 00:51:36,219 Well, hey, guys. 1427 00:51:36,219 --> 00:51:37,846 You found some strays, Rolf? 1428 00:51:37,846 --> 00:51:39,890 Huh? Good job. 1429 00:51:39,890 --> 00:51:41,558 So, what are you fuckers doing out here, huh? 1430 00:51:41,558 --> 00:51:43,727 Oh, uh, well, it's a long story. 1431 00:51:43,727 --> 00:51:44,895 We're gonna bite a guy's dick off. 1432 00:51:44,895 --> 00:51:46,271 It's actually a short story. 1433 00:51:46,271 --> 00:51:47,689 Nice. Man, when I joined the force, 1434 00:51:47,689 --> 00:51:49,316 you could bite dicks left and right. 1435 00:51:49,316 --> 00:51:50,984 Nowadays, I chomp a dick, 1436 00:51:50,984 --> 00:51:52,861 I got to fill out two weeks of paperwork. 1437 00:51:52,861 --> 00:51:55,989 Can I get an AC unit down to Old Forest Road 54? 1438 00:51:55,989 --> 00:51:57,741 We're trying to get to the devil in the sky. 1439 00:51:57,741 --> 00:51:58,825 Does that sound familiar? 1440 00:51:58,825 --> 00:52:00,660 Devil in the sky? Yeah. 1441 00:52:00,660 --> 00:52:02,329 You stick with us, we'll show you the way. 1442 00:52:02,329 --> 00:52:04,790 - Wow. Really? - Sure thing, rat boy. 1443 00:52:05,665 --> 00:52:07,584 ROLF: Let's not wait so long next time, huh? 1444 00:52:07,584 --> 00:52:08,919 What's it been, seven years? 1445 00:52:08,919 --> 00:52:10,420 I think just one, but every year 1446 00:52:10,420 --> 00:52:12,005 feels like seven to us, so that makes sense. 1447 00:52:12,005 --> 00:52:13,590 Okay, listen. We got to get our story straight. 1448 00:52:13,590 --> 00:52:14,841 - Uh-huh. - It was a possum 1449 00:52:14,841 --> 00:52:16,134 who killed all the bunnies, got it? 1450 00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:17,427 Wait, what's the possum's name? 1451 00:52:17,427 --> 00:52:18,762 Uh, Greg. 1452 00:52:18,762 --> 00:52:21,139 That's not a believable name for a possum. 1453 00:52:21,139 --> 00:52:22,599 Ooh, can it be Monty? 1454 00:52:22,599 --> 00:52:24,976 - Hey, Cath. - Steve. Thanks for coming over. 1455 00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:27,145 Hey, little guy. Want a treat? 1456 00:52:27,145 --> 00:52:28,688 Treats! I love treats! 1457 00:52:28,688 --> 00:52:31,525 Oh, my goodness. Does somebody want a treat? 1458 00:52:31,525 --> 00:52:33,360 This one's all for you. I got tons of treats. 1459 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,778 Reggie, it's a trap! 1460 00:52:34,778 --> 00:52:36,530 - Hey! - (Maggie screams) 1461 00:52:36,530 --> 00:52:39,366 BUG: Hey, hey! Those bunnies were dead when we found 'em! 1462 00:52:39,366 --> 00:52:41,618 It was a possum named, uh, Greg or-or... 1463 00:52:41,618 --> 00:52:43,620 REGGIE: Monty! His name was Monty, not Greg! 1464 00:52:43,620 --> 00:52:45,914 BUG: No choice. They threatened us! 1465 00:52:45,914 --> 00:52:48,041 But, Rolf, I thought we were pals. 1466 00:52:48,041 --> 00:52:49,543 Sorry, old friend. The law's the law. 1467 00:52:49,543 --> 00:52:50,919 You know how it is. 1468 00:52:50,919 --> 00:52:53,046 What a sadistic fuck. 1469 00:52:53,046 --> 00:52:55,465 Hey, calm down, sweetie pie. You'll all be fine. 1470 00:52:55,465 --> 00:52:57,259 You got tags, they'll send you home. 1471 00:52:58,552 --> 00:53:00,262 - (dogs barking) - (wolf whistle) 1472 00:53:00,262 --> 00:53:02,139 - Whoa, fresh meat. - Hey, big boy. 1473 00:53:02,139 --> 00:53:04,933 - I like the mouth on that one. - Mm, we gonna cuddle real hard! 1474 00:53:04,933 --> 00:53:07,227 Hey, bitch. Hey, little bitch. (howls) -(smacking lips) 1475 00:53:07,227 --> 00:53:09,479 Guys, we got to get out of here. 1476 00:53:09,479 --> 00:53:10,981 We're running out of time. 1477 00:53:10,981 --> 00:53:12,732 - Where even are we? - Nowhere good. 1478 00:53:12,732 --> 00:53:14,818 No, no, no, no, no. I can't be here. 1479 00:53:14,818 --> 00:53:15,986 I can't. Not this again. 1480 00:53:15,986 --> 00:53:17,571 Come on, mate. We'll be fine. 1481 00:53:17,571 --> 00:53:19,406 Yeah, Rolf told us they'll just send us home. 1482 00:53:19,406 --> 00:53:20,991 - It'll be all right. - They only send you home 1483 00:53:20,991 --> 00:53:22,701 if you got a home to go back to. 1484 00:53:22,701 --> 00:53:24,286 And do you know what these people do 1485 00:53:24,286 --> 00:53:26,496 to dogs that don't have one, Hunter? Huh? 1486 00:53:26,496 --> 00:53:29,332 Do you have any idea what they're about to do to me? 1487 00:53:29,332 --> 00:53:30,750 What they're about to do to Reg? 1488 00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:32,210 Calm down, Bug. We'll figure this out. 1489 00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:33,753 There ain't nothing to figure out, Maggie. 1490 00:53:33,753 --> 00:53:35,672 These humans caught us, and now we are fucked! 1491 00:53:35,672 --> 00:53:37,132 Bug, you don't know that. 1492 00:53:37,132 --> 00:53:38,425 Yeah. Uh, I mean, Bug, 1493 00:53:38,425 --> 00:53:40,427 you say you know so much about humans, 1494 00:53:40,427 --> 00:53:41,887 but you don't really know them, either. 1495 00:53:41,887 --> 00:53:43,555 I mean, you've never had an owner. 1496 00:53:43,555 --> 00:53:44,723 You never had a Jenna. 1497 00:53:44,723 --> 00:53:46,016 You never had a Doug. 1498 00:53:46,016 --> 00:53:47,017 I had an Emma. 1499 00:53:47,017 --> 00:53:48,518 - (gasps) - What? 1500 00:53:48,518 --> 00:53:49,978 Whoa, Bug. 1501 00:53:49,978 --> 00:53:51,354 You had an owner? 1502 00:53:51,354 --> 00:53:52,981 Yeah. 1503 00:53:52,981 --> 00:53:58,153 And I told myself that I would never say her name again, 1504 00:53:58,153 --> 00:54:00,614 but y'all need to hear this. 1505 00:54:00,614 --> 00:54:01,907 - No. - No? Okay. 1506 00:54:01,907 --> 00:54:03,617 BUG: I don't remember everything, 1507 00:54:03,617 --> 00:54:05,785 but I remember the day she got me out of there. 1508 00:54:05,785 --> 00:54:07,954 - (gasps) This one. - (parents laughing) 1509 00:54:07,954 --> 00:54:09,456 MOTHER: He's a cute little bugger. 1510 00:54:09,456 --> 00:54:11,166 Cute little bug. 1511 00:54:11,166 --> 00:54:13,126 ♪ When we were on top... ♪ 1512 00:54:13,126 --> 00:54:15,337 BUG: We did everything together. 1513 00:54:15,337 --> 00:54:16,546 We played all day, 1514 00:54:16,546 --> 00:54:18,965 and no matter how stupid I acted, 1515 00:54:18,965 --> 00:54:20,884 - she always laughed. - (laughs) 1516 00:54:20,884 --> 00:54:22,219 Trick or treat. 1517 00:54:22,219 --> 00:54:23,929 BUG: We even did this thing I hated 1518 00:54:23,929 --> 00:54:26,223 where she would dress us up in super weird clothes 1519 00:54:26,223 --> 00:54:28,892 and ask the neighbors to give us that chocolate 1520 00:54:28,892 --> 00:54:31,228 - humans make from dog poop. - Oh, oh, not for you, honey. 1521 00:54:31,228 --> 00:54:32,604 - (thunder crashes) - (Bug whimpers) 1522 00:54:32,604 --> 00:54:34,397 EMMA: It's okay. It's just a storm. 1523 00:54:34,397 --> 00:54:36,566 BUG: But even better than all the fun we had 1524 00:54:36,566 --> 00:54:38,401 is, uh, the way she made me feel. 1525 00:54:38,401 --> 00:54:40,028 I love you. 1526 00:54:40,028 --> 00:54:43,365 BUG: When she said that, I felt so special. 1527 00:54:43,365 --> 00:54:44,824 And then it was usually followed by 1528 00:54:44,824 --> 00:54:47,202 these incredible belly scratches. 1529 00:54:47,202 --> 00:54:49,120 No one ever made my leg kick like that. 1530 00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,331 Except for this one night with this raccoon 1531 00:54:51,331 --> 00:54:54,167 I don't like to talk about, but, uh... anyway. -(giggles) 1532 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:58,338 But then I made a mistake. 1533 00:54:58,338 --> 00:55:00,549 - (yelps) - (Emma screams) 1534 00:55:00,549 --> 00:55:02,509 It was a blur. 1535 00:55:03,426 --> 00:55:06,596 I didn't even know what I did until it was too late. 1536 00:55:06,596 --> 00:55:08,848 Say goodbye to Bug. 1537 00:55:09,724 --> 00:55:11,142 (whimpers softly) 1538 00:55:11,142 --> 00:55:12,769 (crying) 1539 00:55:12,769 --> 00:55:14,187 (barks) 1540 00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:18,608 BUG: I thought I was getting put in time-out or something, 1541 00:55:18,608 --> 00:55:22,112 but... but the place she sent me to... 1542 00:55:23,572 --> 00:55:25,991 ...the time-outs there never end. 1543 00:55:26,825 --> 00:55:28,660 - (woman screams) - MAN: Whoa! 1544 00:55:33,331 --> 00:55:35,458 I never saw her again. 1545 00:55:35,458 --> 00:55:38,878 After all we had been through-- everything she made me feel, 1546 00:55:38,878 --> 00:55:42,716 everything I thought I made her feel-- 1547 00:55:42,716 --> 00:55:44,342 just nothing. 1548 00:55:44,342 --> 00:55:45,969 We did so much together. 1549 00:55:45,969 --> 00:55:48,305 She taught me so many tricks. 1550 00:55:48,305 --> 00:55:53,143 But the one trick she never wanted me to learn was: stay. 1551 00:55:53,143 --> 00:55:54,561 (whimpers softly) 1552 00:55:54,561 --> 00:55:56,104 I think I zoned out around the middle part. 1553 00:55:56,104 --> 00:55:57,689 Can you tell the middle part again? 1554 00:55:57,689 --> 00:55:59,983 Hunter, I'm not gonna tell the middle part again. 1555 00:55:59,983 --> 00:56:01,776 I'm sorry, Bug. I had no idea. 1556 00:56:01,776 --> 00:56:03,903 Don't be sorry, Reg. Be thankful. 1557 00:56:03,903 --> 00:56:05,989 'Cause you got a chance to make this right. 1558 00:56:05,989 --> 00:56:10,118 Oh, what I wouldn't give to bite this girl in the dick. 1559 00:56:10,118 --> 00:56:12,829 But, you know, she's six, and I don't know where she lives now, 1560 00:56:12,829 --> 00:56:15,498 and she's a girl and doesn't even have a dick, but still. 1561 00:56:15,498 --> 00:56:18,376 Listen, what we're doing isn't just about Doug. 1562 00:56:18,376 --> 00:56:20,754 We're doing this for all of them. 1563 00:56:20,754 --> 00:56:23,131 For every single one of those humans 1564 00:56:23,131 --> 00:56:25,759 who treated us like shit. 1565 00:56:25,759 --> 00:56:28,511 Man, biggest mistake of my life. 1566 00:56:28,511 --> 00:56:30,930 Yeah. I'd regret that bite, too. 1567 00:56:30,930 --> 00:56:32,390 The bite? No. 1568 00:56:32,390 --> 00:56:33,975 I'm talking about her. 1569 00:56:33,975 --> 00:56:35,852 She's the mistake, not the... 1570 00:56:35,852 --> 00:56:37,145 Okay, well, we can talk about 1571 00:56:37,145 --> 00:56:38,688 getting back at your exes all we want, 1572 00:56:38,688 --> 00:56:41,024 but none of that matters if we can't get out of here. 1573 00:56:41,024 --> 00:56:44,402 Guys, what if we can get the key? 1574 00:56:44,402 --> 00:56:46,946 ♪ ♪ 1575 00:56:51,701 --> 00:56:53,078 HUNTER: Oh, no. 1576 00:56:53,078 --> 00:56:55,914 We'd need, like, a super long pole to hook it. 1577 00:56:59,125 --> 00:57:01,294 Why is everyone looking at me? 1578 00:57:05,215 --> 00:57:07,008 Come on, Hunter, you can do it. 1579 00:57:08,593 --> 00:57:10,178 - (Hunter grunting) - REGGIE: Dude, you're so close. 1580 00:57:10,178 --> 00:57:11,471 Just a little more. 1581 00:57:11,471 --> 00:57:13,223 Come on, get hornier. You can do it. 1582 00:57:13,223 --> 00:57:14,724 This is all I got. 1583 00:57:14,724 --> 00:57:16,893 Maggie, come on. Excite him. 1584 00:57:17,727 --> 00:57:19,813 (whispering): Hunter, this has been 1585 00:57:19,813 --> 00:57:24,067 a really long, hard trip, 1586 00:57:24,067 --> 00:57:26,695 but the thing that keeps me panting 1587 00:57:26,695 --> 00:57:31,533 is thinking about us doing it, regular style. 1588 00:57:31,533 --> 00:57:33,493 Oh, boy. It-It's working. 1589 00:57:33,493 --> 00:57:35,745 Keep talking, Maggie. More sexy stuff. 1590 00:57:35,745 --> 00:57:36,996 Just picture me, 1591 00:57:36,996 --> 00:57:40,208 all eight nipples rock hard, 1592 00:57:40,208 --> 00:57:44,671 and I'm wearing nothing but... (gasps) the cone. 1593 00:57:44,671 --> 00:57:45,797 (grunts) 1594 00:57:46,673 --> 00:57:48,007 REGGIE: You're doing it, Hunter! 1595 00:57:48,007 --> 00:57:49,426 Come on, Hunter. 1596 00:57:49,426 --> 00:57:51,136 Use that dick of yours. 1597 00:57:51,136 --> 00:57:52,345 Yes, Hunter! 1598 00:57:52,345 --> 00:57:55,014 - (straining) - MAGGIE: Hunter! Hunter! 1599 00:57:55,014 --> 00:57:57,142 ALL: Hunter! Hunter! 1600 00:57:57,142 --> 00:58:01,020 Hunter! Hunter! Hunter! Hunter! 1601 00:58:01,020 --> 00:58:03,106 ONE DOG: Hunter! 1602 00:58:03,106 --> 00:58:04,733 Sorry, guys. It's hopeless. 1603 00:58:04,733 --> 00:58:06,151 MAGGIE: Ugh. Hunter. 1604 00:58:06,151 --> 00:58:08,027 Shit. Really thought that was gonna work. 1605 00:58:08,027 --> 00:58:10,113 HUNTER: Sorry my dick let you down. 1606 00:58:10,113 --> 00:58:11,990 REGGIE: Wait. I've got it. 1607 00:58:11,990 --> 00:58:14,367 What's the one thing humans are obsessed with? 1608 00:58:14,367 --> 00:58:15,535 Uh, themselves. 1609 00:58:15,535 --> 00:58:16,786 - Painting their faces. - Dying. 1610 00:58:16,786 --> 00:58:18,580 No. Bug, you said it yourself. 1611 00:58:18,580 --> 00:58:22,542 What's the thing humans are most obsessed with about dogs? 1612 00:58:22,542 --> 00:58:24,544 - Our shit. - Yes. 1613 00:58:24,544 --> 00:58:26,504 Every single time we shit, what do they do? 1614 00:58:26,504 --> 00:58:27,881 They come and bag it up. 1615 00:58:27,881 --> 00:58:29,716 - Yeah. - That's right. Once this place 1616 00:58:29,716 --> 00:58:32,218 gets all poopy, Willy comes in and bags it up 1617 00:58:32,218 --> 00:58:34,471 like he's collecting it for something. -OTHERS: Mm-hmm. 1618 00:58:34,471 --> 00:58:35,764 - Exactly. - MALE DOG: For chocolate. 1619 00:58:35,764 --> 00:58:37,348 And that's our ticket out of here. 1620 00:58:37,348 --> 00:58:39,893 We poop until he has to open these doors, 1621 00:58:39,893 --> 00:58:41,895 and when he does, we charge. 1622 00:58:41,895 --> 00:58:43,480 - MAGGIE: Good idea, Reg. - Nice thinking, kid. I'm in. 1623 00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:45,148 And I got a couple of shits in the chamber. 1624 00:58:45,148 --> 00:58:47,650 - (dogs groaning, murmuring) - No thanks, kid. 1625 00:58:47,650 --> 00:58:48,943 What's wrong with you guys? 1626 00:58:48,943 --> 00:58:50,487 Don't you want to get out of this place? 1627 00:58:50,487 --> 00:58:53,072 Of course. But we've been burned so many times 1628 00:58:53,072 --> 00:58:54,449 we're smart enough to know 1629 00:58:54,449 --> 00:58:56,159 that we'll never get beyond these walls 1630 00:58:56,159 --> 00:58:58,411 without a human coming to adopt us. 1631 00:58:59,245 --> 00:59:01,539 Look, I get it. 1632 00:59:01,539 --> 00:59:03,541 I've had dark moments. 1633 00:59:03,541 --> 00:59:05,418 Moments where I felt stuck. 1634 00:59:05,418 --> 00:59:08,713 Moments where, even if you couldn't see it, 1635 00:59:08,713 --> 00:59:12,008 felt like there was a wall or a fence holding you back. 1636 00:59:12,008 --> 00:59:14,511 Yeah, invisible magic fences. I swear to God, that's real. 1637 00:59:14,511 --> 00:59:17,680 But I'm here to tell you that's garbage talk. 1638 00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:20,725 'Cause I was lucky enough to meet some amazing friends 1639 00:59:20,725 --> 00:59:23,603 who taught me that just beyond those walls 1640 00:59:23,603 --> 00:59:26,523 is a bunch of incredible stuff worth living for. 1641 00:59:26,523 --> 00:59:28,191 There's lampposts to pee on. 1642 00:59:28,191 --> 00:59:31,402 There's scraps to eat and couches to make love to. 1643 00:59:31,402 --> 00:59:32,821 And dead bunnies that... 1644 00:59:32,821 --> 00:59:34,280 - (Bug clears throat) - I-I know nothing about. 1645 00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:35,949 Yeah, I know nothing about that, either. 1646 00:59:35,949 --> 00:59:37,283 Got no clue what you're talking about on that one. 1647 00:59:37,283 --> 00:59:38,535 And tennis balls to fetch, and... 1648 00:59:38,535 --> 00:59:39,911 A dick to bite off. 1649 00:59:39,911 --> 00:59:42,038 What? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That, too. 1650 00:59:43,331 --> 00:59:46,626 But most importantly, there's a life out there worth living. 1651 00:59:46,626 --> 00:59:48,294 - MAGGIE: Whoo! Reggie! - HUNTER: Go, Reg! 1652 00:59:48,294 --> 00:59:51,881 So I'm asking you, do you want to stay here and die, 1653 00:59:51,881 --> 00:59:55,969 or do you want to shit your brains out and live? 1654 00:59:55,969 --> 00:59:57,470 ALL: Live! 1655 00:59:57,470 --> 00:59:59,055 We want to live! 1656 00:59:59,055 --> 01:00:00,640 Then poop with me! 1657 01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,892 Poop with me to freedom! 1658 01:00:02,892 --> 01:00:05,061 ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ 1659 01:00:05,061 --> 01:00:07,564 ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ 1660 01:00:07,564 --> 01:00:10,275 - ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ - ♪ Are you ready for this? ♪ 1661 01:00:10,275 --> 01:00:12,610 - ♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪ - ♪ Oh... ♪ 1662 01:00:13,570 --> 01:00:16,948 Dig deep inside of you, deep inside your colon. 1663 01:00:16,948 --> 01:00:20,451 Release your pent-up feelings. 1664 01:00:20,451 --> 01:00:21,995 Let it flow. 1665 01:00:21,995 --> 01:00:23,580 ♪ When I come to the club ♪ 1666 01:00:23,580 --> 01:00:25,164 - ♪ Step aside ♪ - ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 1667 01:00:25,164 --> 01:00:27,458 ♪ Part the seas, don't be havin' me in the line ♪ 1668 01:00:27,458 --> 01:00:28,668 ♪ Oh, shit... ♪ 1669 01:00:28,668 --> 01:00:31,087 Great work, everybody. Keep on pooping. 1670 01:00:31,087 --> 01:00:33,715 - ♪ And me love you long time ♪ - ♪ Oh, shit ♪ 1671 01:00:33,715 --> 01:00:35,758 ♪ How come every time you come around ♪ 1672 01:00:35,758 --> 01:00:38,595 ♪ My London, London Bridge wanna go down? ♪ 1673 01:00:38,595 --> 01:00:41,806 ♪ Like London, London, London, be goin' down like. ♪ 1674 01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:44,726 (song ends) 1675 01:00:46,728 --> 01:00:49,188 Those are my eyes. 1676 01:00:49,188 --> 01:00:50,440 Exactly. 1677 01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:53,359 I think Dad's really gonna love this. 1678 01:00:56,029 --> 01:00:57,447 (sniffs) 1679 01:00:57,447 --> 01:01:00,033 (continues sniffing) 1680 01:01:00,033 --> 01:01:02,744 I think it's working. Places, everyone. 1681 01:01:05,830 --> 01:01:07,999 (takes deep breath) 1682 01:01:08,875 --> 01:01:10,460 ♪ ♪ 1683 01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:13,212 Oh... oh, God. 1684 01:01:13,212 --> 01:01:16,007 I can taste it. Oh. 1685 01:01:19,385 --> 01:01:21,012 What? 1686 01:01:21,012 --> 01:01:22,847 (sighs) 1687 01:01:24,641 --> 01:01:26,351 Oh, fuck. 1688 01:01:29,479 --> 01:01:31,648 (keys jingling) 1689 01:01:34,943 --> 01:01:36,402 (lock clicks) 1690 01:01:36,402 --> 01:01:38,279 (door opening) 1691 01:01:41,491 --> 01:01:43,368 Very cute. 1692 01:01:43,368 --> 01:01:45,578 Very funny. (chuckles) 1693 01:01:45,578 --> 01:01:47,205 I see what's going on here. 1694 01:01:47,205 --> 01:01:51,918 You guys think that I am 1695 01:01:51,918 --> 01:01:54,420 a big fat fucking asshole, right? 1696 01:01:54,420 --> 01:01:56,255 You know everything about me. 1697 01:01:56,255 --> 01:01:59,258 You know all the things that have happened in my life 1698 01:01:59,258 --> 01:02:01,761 with my dad and my ex-wife. 1699 01:02:02,929 --> 01:02:04,931 (sobbing softly) 1700 01:02:07,100 --> 01:02:10,687 Bravo. Bravo. 1701 01:02:10,687 --> 01:02:11,729 Oh, encore! 1702 01:02:11,729 --> 01:02:14,565 Just kidding. It's done. 1703 01:02:14,565 --> 01:02:17,276 We are done! 1704 01:02:17,276 --> 01:02:18,653 - (barking) - Wait, what are you... 1705 01:02:18,653 --> 01:02:21,030 (yelps, grunts) Oh, my God. Wh-Whoa. 1706 01:02:21,030 --> 01:02:22,448 (whimpers, yells) 1707 01:02:22,448 --> 01:02:23,449 (groans) 1708 01:02:23,449 --> 01:02:24,951 Charge! 1709 01:02:24,951 --> 01:02:26,995 (dogs whooping, barking) 1710 01:02:26,995 --> 01:02:28,788 (sobbing) 1711 01:02:32,709 --> 01:02:34,711 (continues sobbing) 1712 01:02:37,046 --> 01:02:38,381 Ah, we did it! 1713 01:02:38,381 --> 01:02:39,966 I can't believe we shit that much! 1714 01:02:39,966 --> 01:02:41,884 Hunter's dick! Hunter's dick! 1715 01:02:41,884 --> 01:02:43,761 To hell with you! 1716 01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:45,930 (panting) 1717 01:02:50,226 --> 01:02:52,562 (chuckling) 1718 01:02:52,562 --> 01:02:54,230 Thanks for your patience, folks. 1719 01:02:54,230 --> 01:02:56,107 Really. 1720 01:02:56,107 --> 01:02:57,108 (chuckles) 1721 01:02:57,108 --> 01:02:59,402 Ooh. I'm sorry, Diane. 1722 01:02:59,402 --> 01:03:01,529 Uh... uh... 1723 01:03:01,529 --> 01:03:04,657 (laughs) "Then poop with me to freedom." 1724 01:03:04,657 --> 01:03:06,909 - So cheesy, but I loved it. - (laughs) What a plan. 1725 01:03:06,909 --> 01:03:08,494 What a speech, Reg. 1726 01:03:08,494 --> 01:03:10,663 Actually, Reginald, I preferred the first speech. 1727 01:03:10,663 --> 01:03:13,458 You know, the one where you convinced all of us to do this, 1728 01:03:13,458 --> 01:03:16,461 back when you were focused on biting Doug's dick off. 1729 01:03:16,461 --> 01:03:18,504 - MAGGIE: Bug. - Okay, okay, Bug, look... 1730 01:03:18,504 --> 01:03:20,339 Oh, look! 1731 01:03:20,339 --> 01:03:22,467 The devil in the sky. We made it. 1732 01:03:22,467 --> 01:03:24,010 Look at that fucking guy! 1733 01:03:24,010 --> 01:03:26,763 HUNTER: Burn in hell, you motherfucking son of a bitch. 1734 01:03:26,763 --> 01:03:28,139 I hate everything about him. 1735 01:03:28,139 --> 01:03:29,766 That dumbass smile, those shitty pants. 1736 01:03:29,766 --> 01:03:31,642 I want to rip your nuts off and make you watch! 1737 01:03:31,642 --> 01:03:33,227 Stupid hat and your stupid truck 1738 01:03:33,227 --> 01:03:35,855 with the door on the other side of the thing. 1739 01:03:35,855 --> 01:03:37,190 I hate his face. 1740 01:03:37,190 --> 01:03:38,858 I hate his personality. I hate his bag. 1741 01:03:38,858 --> 01:03:41,152 HUNTER: He smells like a thousand different houses, 1742 01:03:41,152 --> 01:03:43,696 and I can't trust that. 1743 01:03:43,696 --> 01:03:46,324 Anyways, good job, guys. The final landmark. 1744 01:03:46,324 --> 01:03:48,034 - Yeah. That's right. - And right on schedule. 1745 01:03:48,034 --> 01:03:50,119 Yeah, barely. You remember which way to go from here? 1746 01:03:50,119 --> 01:03:54,457 Uh, yeah, we just... we just stay on this road for now. 1747 01:03:54,457 --> 01:03:55,541 Good. Let's move. 1748 01:03:55,541 --> 01:03:56,501 - All right. - MAGGIE: Great. 1749 01:03:56,501 --> 01:03:57,710 W-Wait, wait, wait. 1750 01:03:57,710 --> 01:03:59,045 One second. Can't leave yet. 1751 01:03:59,045 --> 01:04:00,254 - Huh? - What's up, Reg? 1752 01:04:00,254 --> 01:04:01,672 Where is it? 1753 01:04:01,672 --> 01:04:03,466 Oh, there. 1754 01:04:04,967 --> 01:04:06,302 All right. Let's go, guys. 1755 01:04:06,302 --> 01:04:08,638 No, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on a second. 1756 01:04:08,638 --> 01:04:10,765 Why couldn't you leave without the ball, Reggie? 1757 01:04:10,765 --> 01:04:13,518 I don't know. I-I just like tennis balls. 1758 01:04:13,518 --> 01:04:15,812 I know ball guys. You're not a ball guy. 1759 01:04:15,812 --> 01:04:17,980 Well, you don't know everything about me. 1760 01:04:17,980 --> 01:04:20,817 Well, I'm learning a little more right now. 1761 01:04:20,817 --> 01:04:22,318 Drop the ball, Reg. 1762 01:04:22,318 --> 01:04:23,903 What? No. 1763 01:04:23,903 --> 01:04:25,905 Drop the fucking ball. 1764 01:04:25,905 --> 01:04:28,825 - Leave it. - I'm not gonna leave the ball. 1765 01:04:28,825 --> 01:04:30,118 - Drop the ball! - No. 1766 01:04:30,118 --> 01:04:31,410 Reggie, you drop that goddamn ball! 1767 01:04:31,410 --> 01:04:33,079 - No. - You don't even like balls! 1768 01:04:33,079 --> 01:04:34,705 Doug likes balls! 1769 01:04:34,705 --> 01:04:36,165 - Doug? - (Maggie gasps) 1770 01:04:36,165 --> 01:04:37,250 HUNTER: Oh, Reg. 1771 01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:39,001 I don't know why, but he does. 1772 01:04:39,001 --> 01:04:40,920 And when we play the game fetch-and-fuck, 1773 01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:44,173 it always ends when I come home and bring him back a ball. 1774 01:04:44,173 --> 01:04:46,884 So I know he's expecting it, and I'm not gonna let him down. 1775 01:04:46,884 --> 01:04:48,803 - Goddamn it. - So, when you told me 1776 01:04:48,803 --> 01:04:51,681 you didn't know how you were gonna bite Doug in the dick, 1777 01:04:51,681 --> 01:04:54,183 the real reason you don't know is because... 1778 01:04:54,183 --> 01:04:56,269 You're not gonna bite Doug in the dick. -(sighs) 1779 01:04:56,269 --> 01:05:00,106 Look, when we first set out, I was totally into the plan. 1780 01:05:00,106 --> 01:05:02,066 But the closer we got to Doug, 1781 01:05:02,066 --> 01:05:05,695 the more I realize that I miss him. 1782 01:05:05,695 --> 01:05:07,822 And I think he misses me, too. 1783 01:05:07,822 --> 01:05:09,031 Reggie, don't do this. 1784 01:05:09,031 --> 01:05:10,867 You deserve so much better than him. 1785 01:05:10,867 --> 01:05:12,243 I don't, Hunter. 1786 01:05:12,243 --> 01:05:13,619 I really don't. 1787 01:05:13,619 --> 01:05:15,204 You know why Doug abandoned me? 1788 01:05:15,204 --> 01:05:17,707 Because I was the problem in our relationship. 1789 01:05:17,707 --> 01:05:19,041 I ate his shoes. 1790 01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:20,793 I woke him up so early every day 1791 01:05:20,793 --> 01:05:22,295 because I needed to pee. 1792 01:05:22,295 --> 01:05:23,754 And I pooped on the rug. 1793 01:05:23,754 --> 01:05:25,631 We've all pooped on the rug, Reggie. 1794 01:05:25,631 --> 01:05:28,342 Oh, did you roll in it, Maggie? Did you roll in the poop? 1795 01:05:28,342 --> 01:05:30,761 Because guess what, I rolled in the poop. 1796 01:05:30,761 --> 01:05:32,096 Okay, that's not great. 1797 01:05:32,096 --> 01:05:34,056 God, I can't believe it took me this long 1798 01:05:34,056 --> 01:05:37,101 to realize this-- that every time he called me a bad dog, 1799 01:05:37,101 --> 01:05:38,644 he was absolutely right. 1800 01:05:38,644 --> 01:05:40,146 It was all my fault. 1801 01:05:40,146 --> 01:05:41,439 Wow. 1802 01:05:41,439 --> 01:05:42,732 Well, I'm not gonna be a bad dog anymore. 1803 01:05:42,732 --> 01:05:44,734 It's time for me to be a good boy. 1804 01:05:44,734 --> 01:05:48,529 Jesus, I cannot believe that I risked my life for this asshole 1805 01:05:48,529 --> 01:05:51,449 just so he could go back and get with another asshole. 1806 01:05:51,449 --> 01:05:54,118 I did all of this for you, Reggie. 1807 01:05:54,118 --> 01:05:55,536 You didn't do this for me. 1808 01:05:55,536 --> 01:05:57,663 You said it yourself-- this isn't about Doug. 1809 01:05:57,663 --> 01:05:59,665 This is about every single one of them 1810 01:05:59,665 --> 01:06:01,417 who treated us like shit. 1811 01:06:01,417 --> 01:06:02,627 This is about Emma. 1812 01:06:02,627 --> 01:06:04,670 - Reggie. - Fuck you. 1813 01:06:04,670 --> 01:06:06,797 Hey, how about rule number three, Bug? 1814 01:06:06,797 --> 01:06:08,049 You're on your own? 1815 01:06:08,049 --> 01:06:09,508 Well, then what were we? 1816 01:06:09,508 --> 01:06:11,260 Wow. -I don't think you really want to be a stray. 1817 01:06:11,260 --> 01:06:12,678 I think you're sad and lonely. 1818 01:06:12,678 --> 01:06:14,263 Can you believe this fucking guy? 1819 01:06:14,263 --> 01:06:16,599 And I think the only reason you claim to hate humans 1820 01:06:16,599 --> 01:06:19,143 is because, if you ever stop to think about what happened, 1821 01:06:19,143 --> 01:06:22,897 you'd realize that Emma didn't fuck it up; you did. 1822 01:06:22,897 --> 01:06:24,440 Get the fuck away from me. 1823 01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:26,359 Believe me, I-I fucked up with my owner, too, 1824 01:06:26,359 --> 01:06:29,028 so thank you for helping me realize I was the problem. 1825 01:06:29,028 --> 01:06:31,906 Only difference is I have a chance to fix it 1826 01:06:31,906 --> 01:06:34,116 and not end up like you. 1827 01:06:34,116 --> 01:06:35,326 (growls, grunts) 1828 01:06:35,326 --> 01:06:36,661 Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? 1829 01:06:36,661 --> 01:06:37,870 - Guys, guys, stop. - Guys, stop it. 1830 01:06:37,870 --> 01:06:39,330 - Guys! -Guys, come on. - Come on! 1831 01:06:39,330 --> 01:06:40,915 - Give me this fucking thing. - Give it back! 1832 01:06:40,915 --> 01:06:42,333 - Bug. - MAGGIE: Guys. 1833 01:06:42,333 --> 01:06:43,459 REGGIE: Doug gave me that! Give that back! 1834 01:06:43,459 --> 01:06:45,044 - I know he did. - No! 1835 01:06:45,044 --> 01:06:46,963 - HUNTER: Stop it. Stop. - MAGGIE: Bug, don't do that. 1836 01:06:46,963 --> 01:06:49,423 BUG: That's what I think about you and your owner. 1837 01:06:49,423 --> 01:06:51,300 Go fuck yourself, Reggie! 1838 01:06:51,300 --> 01:06:53,552 You two deserve each other. 1839 01:06:57,014 --> 01:06:59,725 ♪ ♪ 1840 01:07:01,978 --> 01:07:03,771 - Reggie, don't do this! - Reg. 1841 01:07:03,771 --> 01:07:06,065 I hope he's already left without you. 1842 01:07:11,237 --> 01:07:13,114 Man. 1843 01:07:13,114 --> 01:07:16,826 I really thought my dick was gonna hook those keys. 1844 01:07:16,826 --> 01:07:20,788 Um, but this is also a bummer. 1845 01:07:20,788 --> 01:07:22,957 ♪ ♪ 1846 01:07:29,130 --> 01:07:31,424 Bug, we can't go back. 1847 01:07:31,424 --> 01:07:32,717 Sure, we can. 1848 01:07:32,717 --> 01:07:34,802 The devil in the sky, cone, hamster wheel, 1849 01:07:34,802 --> 01:07:36,804 just in the opposite order of how we came. 1850 01:07:36,804 --> 01:07:38,306 No dead bunnies this time. 1851 01:07:38,306 --> 01:07:39,849 Bug, she means we can't leave him like this. 1852 01:07:39,849 --> 01:07:42,393 First off, Hunter, we didn't leave him. 1853 01:07:42,393 --> 01:07:43,811 He left us. 1854 01:07:43,811 --> 01:07:45,980 Second, we don't know the rest of the way 1855 01:07:45,980 --> 01:07:47,440 back to Doug's place anyway. 1856 01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:49,817 And third, I'm not just gonna hang around here 1857 01:07:49,817 --> 01:07:51,360 and let some dickless bird 1858 01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,529 swoop in on my girlfriend while I'm gone. 1859 01:07:53,529 --> 01:07:55,156 - What? - (sighs) Look, 1860 01:07:55,156 --> 01:07:57,158 if there's one thing that the asshole got right, 1861 01:07:57,158 --> 01:08:00,036 it's that I have been wasting my time with you guys. 1862 01:08:00,036 --> 01:08:03,039 I'm a stray, and I should start acting like one. 1863 01:08:03,039 --> 01:08:04,915 - Wait, where are you going? - I don't know. 1864 01:08:04,915 --> 01:08:07,126 - I'm about to go do some nunya. - What's nunya? 1865 01:08:07,126 --> 01:08:09,128 - Nunya fucking business! - HUNTER: Oh, yeah, 1866 01:08:09,128 --> 01:08:10,713 I walked right into that one. 1867 01:08:10,713 --> 01:08:12,882 (sighs) Let's go home, Hunter. 1868 01:08:12,882 --> 01:08:14,592 (Hunter sighs) 1869 01:08:16,594 --> 01:08:18,429 Talking about I'm lonely. Talking about I'm scared. 1870 01:08:18,429 --> 01:08:20,264 Fuck does he think he's talking about? 1871 01:08:20,264 --> 01:08:22,391 I'm-a tell you right now, I ain't lonely, 1872 01:08:22,391 --> 01:08:23,976 and I damn sure ain't scared. 1873 01:08:23,976 --> 01:08:25,770 (gasps) Fuck you, leaf. 1874 01:08:25,770 --> 01:08:27,396 (scoffs) End up like me? 1875 01:08:27,396 --> 01:08:29,732 I pissed on two cars and three houses last week. 1876 01:08:29,732 --> 01:08:31,776 That's right, I'm a three-year-old dog, 1877 01:08:31,776 --> 01:08:33,402 and I'm already a homeowner. 1878 01:08:33,402 --> 01:08:34,779 I'm living the motherfucking dream, hmm? 1879 01:08:34,779 --> 01:08:36,572 And I'm not scared to be alone. 1880 01:08:36,572 --> 01:08:38,699 Matter of fact, I ain't scared of anything. 1881 01:08:38,699 --> 01:08:40,159 (twig snaps) 1882 01:08:40,159 --> 01:08:41,160 Who's that? 1883 01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:42,453 Don't come closer. 1884 01:08:42,453 --> 01:08:45,539 I-I, uh... I'm crazy. I fuck trash! 1885 01:08:51,587 --> 01:08:53,130 (growling) 1886 01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:56,175 (growling) 1887 01:08:57,635 --> 01:08:59,595 (barking) 1888 01:09:00,554 --> 01:09:02,765 Nope, not doing this. 1889 01:09:02,765 --> 01:09:04,141 Just walk away, Bug. 1890 01:09:04,141 --> 01:09:07,311 Little girls like Emma suck, and you know it. 1891 01:09:07,311 --> 01:09:10,523 (whimpering) 1892 01:09:12,191 --> 01:09:13,526 (sobbing softly) 1893 01:09:13,526 --> 01:09:15,486 Don't listen to her, man. Don't listen to her. 1894 01:09:15,486 --> 01:09:17,571 Another fucking narcissist 1895 01:09:17,571 --> 01:09:19,156 putting her needs above your own. 1896 01:09:19,156 --> 01:09:21,117 You've been down this fucking road before, man. 1897 01:09:21,117 --> 01:09:23,160 Just... just... 1898 01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:25,329 (sighs) Goddamn it. 1899 01:09:32,169 --> 01:09:34,547 Hey there. (chuckles) 1900 01:09:34,547 --> 01:09:37,216 What are you doing out here all alone? 1901 01:09:37,925 --> 01:09:39,635 Did you get lost like me? 1902 01:09:39,635 --> 01:09:40,845 It's gonna be okay. 1903 01:09:40,845 --> 01:09:42,221 Holy shit. Wait! 1904 01:09:42,221 --> 01:09:43,431 You're the girl that everyone's looking for. 1905 01:09:43,431 --> 01:09:44,557 Holy shit. 1906 01:09:44,557 --> 01:09:46,976 I found her! I found her! 1907 01:09:46,976 --> 01:09:48,644 S-Somebody, please help! 1908 01:09:48,644 --> 01:09:49,895 I found the girl! 1909 01:09:49,895 --> 01:09:52,356 - That's Bug. - Bug! Where are you? 1910 01:09:52,356 --> 01:09:54,024 Let's go. 1911 01:09:54,024 --> 01:09:56,652 ♪ ♪ 1912 01:09:56,652 --> 01:09:58,237 I see him! 1913 01:09:58,237 --> 01:09:59,572 (barks) 1914 01:09:59,572 --> 01:10:00,823 I can't believe you found the girl. 1915 01:10:00,823 --> 01:10:02,408 Oh, my God, Bug. 1916 01:10:02,408 --> 01:10:04,910 Come on. We got to get her some help. She's in bad shape. 1917 01:10:04,910 --> 01:10:06,537 - MAGGIE: Help! Over here! - HUNTER: Over here! 1918 01:10:06,537 --> 01:10:07,872 We found her! Help! 1919 01:10:07,872 --> 01:10:10,541 - Help! Help! - Rolf, you dickhead! Help! 1920 01:10:10,541 --> 01:10:13,794 (Bug, Maggie and Hunter shouting in distance) 1921 01:10:13,794 --> 01:10:15,838 Lost kid! Let's move! 1922 01:10:15,838 --> 01:10:17,089 - Over here! - Rolf! -Help! 1923 01:10:17,089 --> 01:10:18,299 - Here they come. - HUNTER: Over here. 1924 01:10:18,299 --> 01:10:20,259 Munchkin, check the girl. 1925 01:10:20,259 --> 01:10:22,595 Hell of a job, Hunter and small dogs. 1926 01:10:22,595 --> 01:10:25,598 - Didn't know you had it in you. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Riley! 1927 01:10:25,598 --> 01:10:27,975 Riley, here you are. Good dog. Good dog. 1928 01:10:27,975 --> 01:10:29,310 You're okay. 1929 01:10:29,310 --> 01:10:30,519 I'm not even gonna ask 1930 01:10:30,519 --> 01:10:32,354 how you ended up back in these woods. 1931 01:10:32,354 --> 01:10:35,691 All I'll ask is: How can I repay you? 1932 01:10:36,859 --> 01:10:39,570 You can help save my best friend. 1933 01:10:39,570 --> 01:10:41,947 ♪ ♪ 1934 01:10:41,947 --> 01:10:44,450 Oh, what am I gonna say? What am I gonna say? 1935 01:10:44,450 --> 01:10:47,411 Okay, I should probably rehearse this. 1936 01:10:47,411 --> 01:10:48,537 Hey, Doug. 1937 01:10:48,537 --> 01:10:49,955 (imitating Doug): Hey, shitbag. 1938 01:10:49,955 --> 01:10:51,290 (normal voice): What have you been up to? 1939 01:10:51,290 --> 01:10:52,708 (imitating Doug): Mostly masturbating. 1940 01:10:52,708 --> 01:10:54,877 (normal voice): Oh, cool. Classic Doug. 1941 01:10:54,877 --> 01:10:56,921 So, I owe you an apology. 1942 01:10:56,921 --> 01:10:58,255 (imitating Doug): Okay. 1943 01:10:58,255 --> 01:10:59,548 (normal voice): You were totally right 1944 01:10:59,548 --> 01:11:00,799 to ditch me in that alley. 1945 01:11:00,799 --> 01:11:02,051 I mean, I was terrible. 1946 01:11:02,051 --> 01:11:03,385 (imitating Doug): Agreed. 1947 01:11:03,385 --> 01:11:05,054 (normal voice): But I was wondering, um, 1948 01:11:05,054 --> 01:11:07,765 if we could maybe make some changes when I'm back. 1949 01:11:07,765 --> 01:11:09,725 Like, maybe we could do walks now 1950 01:11:09,725 --> 01:11:12,811 and possibly increase pee breaks to twice a day 1951 01:11:12,811 --> 01:11:15,898 and maybe, if you feel like it, you could call me a... 1952 01:11:15,898 --> 01:11:18,651 a good boy every once in a while. 1953 01:11:23,447 --> 01:11:25,824 Ugh, this is stupid. 1954 01:11:29,328 --> 01:11:30,871 What you mean, you can't track him down? 1955 01:11:30,871 --> 01:11:32,331 You're sniff dogs. That's what you do, right? 1956 01:11:32,331 --> 01:11:34,208 Yeah, come on, Rolf, they taught us that. 1957 01:11:34,208 --> 01:11:35,626 It's impossible. 1958 01:11:35,626 --> 01:11:37,336 We can't track him without knowing his scent first. 1959 01:11:37,336 --> 01:11:39,213 Did you get any whiff of him yesterday, Munchkin? 1960 01:11:39,213 --> 01:11:41,006 Nothing I can recall, sir. 1961 01:11:41,006 --> 01:11:42,633 - Wait! The bandanna! - Come again. 1962 01:11:42,633 --> 01:11:44,301 We can get his scent from the bandanna. 1963 01:11:44,301 --> 01:11:46,262 - Let's go! Let's go! - Nice, Maggie. 1964 01:11:46,262 --> 01:11:48,472 Rolf? Hey, Rolf! 1965 01:11:48,472 --> 01:11:50,432 - There it is! - BUG: There! There it is! 1966 01:11:50,432 --> 01:11:52,226 There it is! 1967 01:11:52,226 --> 01:11:53,978 HUNTER: Way to go, Maggie. 1968 01:11:53,978 --> 01:11:55,479 ROLF: Halt! 1969 01:11:55,479 --> 01:11:57,565 Good God, what's that smell? 1970 01:11:57,565 --> 01:11:59,024 Can you smell Reggie off that thing? 1971 01:11:59,024 --> 01:12:01,944 (sniffs) I'm not getting any dog off of this, sir. 1972 01:12:01,944 --> 01:12:03,070 Just a lot of urine. 1973 01:12:03,070 --> 01:12:04,405 - Oh, huh. Oh, wow. - Huh. 1974 01:12:04,405 --> 01:12:06,073 - That's, uh, weird. - It was Bug. 1975 01:12:06,073 --> 01:12:07,825 And from the same patterns, I can tell 1976 01:12:07,825 --> 01:12:09,618 this was a very small pee stream, 1977 01:12:09,618 --> 01:12:12,705 indicative of a dog with an unbelievably tiny penis. 1978 01:12:12,705 --> 01:12:14,832 - Again, Bug. - It ain't indicative of shit. 1979 01:12:14,832 --> 01:12:17,376 If anything, it is indicative of a well-shaped, 1980 01:12:17,376 --> 01:12:20,254 sensual penis that transcends dick size. 1981 01:12:20,254 --> 01:12:22,298 Lots of TDU-- tiny dick urine-- over here. 1982 01:12:22,298 --> 01:12:23,924 It would take a miracle to pick up 1983 01:12:23,924 --> 01:12:25,467 any dog scent off of that thing. 1984 01:12:25,467 --> 01:12:27,469 There you are. What's gotten into you guys? 1985 01:12:27,469 --> 01:12:29,305 - (sniffing) - ROLF: Fuck are you doing? 1986 01:12:29,305 --> 01:12:30,639 You'll taint the smell! 1987 01:12:30,639 --> 01:12:32,266 I'm doing your job. 1988 01:12:32,266 --> 01:12:33,934 Now, back the fuck off, Adolf. 1989 01:12:33,934 --> 01:12:35,311 - Adolf? - It's 'cause you're 1990 01:12:35,311 --> 01:12:36,812 a German shep... Oh, whatever. 1991 01:12:36,812 --> 01:12:38,314 I get it now. Hitler reference. 1992 01:12:38,314 --> 01:12:39,648 (sniffing) 1993 01:12:39,648 --> 01:12:41,650 Go, Maggie. Go, Maggie. 1994 01:12:45,571 --> 01:12:47,072 I'm picking up... 1995 01:12:47,072 --> 01:12:49,325 bitches of the night, pizza, vomit pizza, 1996 01:12:49,325 --> 01:12:50,951 hot dogs, all of our pee, 1997 01:12:50,951 --> 01:12:52,911 - eagle feathers, Dennis Quaid? - (eagle screeches) 1998 01:12:52,911 --> 01:12:55,080 Squirrel sex, dead bunnies that I know nothing about, 1999 01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:56,582 Hunter's boner, oh, lots of shit, 2000 01:12:56,582 --> 01:12:58,959 a tiny Boston terrier dick and... 2001 01:12:58,959 --> 01:13:00,669 Reggie! I got him. 2002 01:13:00,669 --> 01:13:01,837 - Yes, Maggie. - Let's move! 2003 01:13:01,837 --> 01:13:02,921 HUNTER: Come on, let's go! 2004 01:13:02,921 --> 01:13:04,340 Thanks, Rolf! 2005 01:13:04,340 --> 01:13:06,592 Except for when you fucked us over! 2006 01:13:06,592 --> 01:13:07,968 Good luck, soldiers. 2007 01:13:07,968 --> 01:13:10,220 And sorry I'm such a fucking asshole! 2008 01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:12,097 I should really work on myself. 2009 01:13:12,097 --> 01:13:14,266 ♪ ♪ 2010 01:13:28,322 --> 01:13:30,491 ♪ ♪ 2011 01:13:39,375 --> 01:13:41,543 (door creaks) 2012 01:13:55,516 --> 01:13:58,227 ♪ ♪ 2013 01:14:03,440 --> 01:14:06,276 DOUG: Oh, thanks for shitting on the carpet. 2014 01:14:06,276 --> 01:14:08,570 The fuck are you thinking, huh? 2015 01:14:08,570 --> 01:14:12,074 Oh, you're such a stupid little piece of shit. 2016 01:14:20,249 --> 01:14:23,168 Can you just leave me the fuck alone? 2017 01:14:23,168 --> 01:14:25,462 Bad dog! 2018 01:14:29,216 --> 01:14:31,135 - (Reggie barking) - (Doug imitating barking) 2019 01:14:31,135 --> 01:14:34,346 DOUG: That's what you fucking sound like, you piece of shit. 2020 01:14:47,818 --> 01:14:50,487 ♪ ♪ 2021 01:15:01,749 --> 01:15:05,085 Okay, one last shit on the carpet, and then I'm out. 2022 01:15:24,938 --> 01:15:26,565 Hey, Doug. 2023 01:15:27,399 --> 01:15:29,067 (sighs): Fuck. 2024 01:15:29,067 --> 01:15:30,819 It's me, Reggie. 2025 01:15:30,819 --> 01:15:33,906 A-And look, I-I know you can't understand 2026 01:15:33,906 --> 01:15:35,199 what I'm saying right now... 2027 01:15:35,199 --> 01:15:36,575 This is not happening. 2028 01:15:36,575 --> 01:15:39,286 ...but I just want to say how I feel. 2029 01:15:39,286 --> 01:15:41,288 I know you didn't like me. 2030 01:15:41,288 --> 01:15:43,207 I mean, obviously. 2031 01:15:43,207 --> 01:15:45,250 You abandoned me in the street. 2032 01:15:45,250 --> 01:15:48,170 But just know that I did everything I could 2033 01:15:48,170 --> 01:15:50,005 to make you feel loved. 2034 01:15:50,005 --> 01:15:52,424 And I thought, if I loved you enough, 2035 01:15:52,424 --> 01:15:55,511 then maybe you would love me back. 2036 01:15:56,386 --> 01:15:58,347 But then I met new friends. 2037 01:15:58,347 --> 01:16:02,601 I met the sweetest big dog with just the nicest dick, 2038 01:16:02,601 --> 01:16:05,687 the most talented, baddest bitch in the world, 2039 01:16:05,687 --> 01:16:08,315 and the-the tiniest, scrappiest, 2040 01:16:08,315 --> 01:16:11,985 funniest best friend I could ever ask for. 2041 01:16:11,985 --> 01:16:15,823 Oh, and I met my son, too, who's a gnome, and we had sex. 2042 01:16:15,823 --> 01:16:17,115 But whatever. 2043 01:16:17,115 --> 01:16:20,160 The point is those friends showed me 2044 01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:22,204 what real love feels like, 2045 01:16:22,204 --> 01:16:24,790 and it's nothing like what we had. 2046 01:16:24,790 --> 01:16:28,252 Now I know that I wasn't a bad dog. 2047 01:16:28,252 --> 01:16:31,630 You were a bad man. 2048 01:16:31,630 --> 01:16:33,632 Bad man! Bad man! 2049 01:16:33,632 --> 01:16:34,716 (barking) 2050 01:16:34,716 --> 01:16:36,969 (sighs) 2051 01:16:37,803 --> 01:16:39,638 Goodbye, Doug. 2052 01:16:39,638 --> 01:16:41,181 And fuck you. 2053 01:16:47,604 --> 01:16:49,565 Now, what do I got to do 2054 01:16:49,565 --> 01:16:52,943 to get you the fuck out of my life? 2055 01:16:52,943 --> 01:16:55,237 I mean, how do you not get it, man? 2056 01:16:55,237 --> 01:16:58,699 I drove you three hours away. 2057 01:16:58,699 --> 01:17:00,576 I mean, how could I make it any more clear 2058 01:17:00,576 --> 01:17:02,578 that I don't care about you? 2059 01:17:02,578 --> 01:17:04,746 I don't fucking love you. 2060 01:17:04,746 --> 01:17:06,748 Goodbye forever, shitbag. 2061 01:17:08,041 --> 01:17:11,753 Well, at least I found someone who loved me. 2062 01:17:11,753 --> 01:17:13,630 Pee-FFs forever. 2063 01:17:13,630 --> 01:17:16,466 (barking) 2064 01:17:16,466 --> 01:17:18,427 ALL: Pee-FFs forever! 2065 01:17:18,427 --> 01:17:19,928 The fuck? 2066 01:17:19,928 --> 01:17:21,680 Who the hell are these dogs? 2067 01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:24,600 Jesus Christ, it's like a fucking dog movie in here. 2068 01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:27,102 (growling) 2069 01:17:27,102 --> 01:17:28,437 Oh, yeah? 2070 01:17:28,437 --> 01:17:31,273 The fuck are you gonna do about it, cone boy? 2071 01:17:40,866 --> 01:17:42,242 Oh, shit. 2072 01:17:42,242 --> 01:17:44,578 (growls, barks) 2073 01:17:46,204 --> 01:17:48,540 (snarling) 2074 01:17:48,540 --> 01:17:50,042 Reggie, you okay? 2075 01:17:50,042 --> 01:17:51,710 Listen, Bug, I-I'm so sorry for what I said. I... 2076 01:17:51,710 --> 01:17:53,253 Don't worry about that right now. 2077 01:17:53,253 --> 01:17:54,963 Yeah, we've got a dick to rip off. 2078 01:17:54,963 --> 01:17:57,174 - (grunting) - (Hunter snarling) 2079 01:17:59,301 --> 01:18:01,178 Get the fuck off me! 2080 01:18:01,929 --> 01:18:03,263 Fuck. What the... 2081 01:18:03,263 --> 01:18:06,016 Get off me! Let go! Goddamn it. 2082 01:18:06,016 --> 01:18:07,809 Ow! Fuck, my knee! 2083 01:18:07,809 --> 01:18:09,728 - Goddamn it! - (barks) 2084 01:18:09,728 --> 01:18:12,230 Oh, you want some, huh? 2085 01:18:12,230 --> 01:18:13,815 (barking) 2086 01:18:14,650 --> 01:18:16,485 Oh, goddamn it! 2087 01:18:16,485 --> 01:18:18,528 You little fuckers owe me a microwave! 2088 01:18:18,528 --> 01:18:19,655 (barking) 2089 01:18:19,655 --> 01:18:21,573 Eat some foot! 2090 01:18:22,366 --> 01:18:24,242 Aah, my foot! 2091 01:18:24,242 --> 01:18:26,453 (panting) 2092 01:18:28,497 --> 01:18:29,915 Shitbag. 2093 01:18:32,709 --> 01:18:34,586 (grunting) 2094 01:18:36,964 --> 01:18:38,632 (screams) 2095 01:18:38,632 --> 01:18:41,176 Oh, fuck, my back! 2096 01:18:41,176 --> 01:18:42,803 Fuck! -Guys, we should get out of here. 2097 01:18:42,803 --> 01:18:44,054 BUG: Reggie! 2098 01:18:44,054 --> 01:18:45,889 Got you, you little shit. 2099 01:18:45,889 --> 01:18:47,849 Well, look at you. 2100 01:18:47,849 --> 01:18:49,893 You got yourself some friends? 2101 01:18:49,893 --> 01:18:53,355 Let me tell you furry fucks something. 2102 01:18:53,355 --> 01:18:56,984 Your little buddy here ruined my life. 2103 01:18:56,984 --> 01:19:00,529 Before him, I had a fucking good thing going. 2104 01:19:00,529 --> 01:19:03,657 A roof over my head, checks from my mom, 2105 01:19:03,657 --> 01:19:05,033 two girlfriends. 2106 01:19:05,033 --> 01:19:08,829 Now I have no house, no girlfriends, 2107 01:19:08,829 --> 01:19:10,747 and I have to masturbate all day. 2108 01:19:10,747 --> 01:19:14,001 All right, this dog turned me into a fucking loser! 2109 01:19:14,001 --> 01:19:15,460 Why's he talking so much? 2110 01:19:15,460 --> 01:19:19,548 You ever see the end of Marley & Me? Huh? 2111 01:19:19,548 --> 01:19:20,966 Yeah. Me, neither. 2112 01:19:20,966 --> 01:19:23,051 It's fucking boring. 2113 01:19:23,051 --> 01:19:26,430 But I do know that the dog dies in the end. 2114 01:19:26,430 --> 01:19:28,223 - (all barking) - I'm gonna enjoy 2115 01:19:28,223 --> 01:19:30,767 squeezing the life out of you. 2116 01:19:30,767 --> 01:19:32,686 BUG: Maggie, Hunter, get in position. 2117 01:19:32,686 --> 01:19:34,104 - MAGGIE: Got it. - HUNTER: Copy. 2118 01:19:34,104 --> 01:19:35,647 DOUG: 'Cause you squeezed the life out of me. 2119 01:19:35,647 --> 01:19:37,190 Wait, what's happening? 2120 01:19:37,190 --> 01:19:39,234 What are they doing getting in a line like that? What... 2121 01:19:39,234 --> 01:19:41,737 ♪ ♪ 2122 01:19:41,737 --> 01:19:44,573 (distorted): Fuck you! 2123 01:19:50,287 --> 01:19:53,331 ("Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus playing) 2124 01:19:57,669 --> 01:20:00,338 - ♪ We clawed, we chained ♪ - (growling) 2125 01:20:00,338 --> 01:20:02,007 ♪ Our hearts in vain ♪ 2126 01:20:02,007 --> 01:20:05,302 ♪ We jumped, never asking why ♪ 2127 01:20:05,302 --> 01:20:09,097 ♪ We kissed, I fell under your spell ♪ 2128 01:20:09,097 --> 01:20:14,269 ♪ A love no one could deny ♪ 2129 01:20:14,269 --> 01:20:16,438 ♪ Don't you ever say... ♪ 2130 01:20:16,438 --> 01:20:18,982 Bad fucking dog. 2131 01:20:18,982 --> 01:20:21,860 You're goddamn right. 2132 01:20:22,569 --> 01:20:24,654 ♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪ 2133 01:20:24,654 --> 01:20:26,281 (distorted screaming) 2134 01:20:26,281 --> 01:20:30,243 ♪ I never hit so hard in love ♪ 2135 01:20:30,243 --> 01:20:34,372 ♪ All I wanted was to break your walls ♪ 2136 01:20:34,372 --> 01:20:36,708 ♪ All you ever did was ♪ 2137 01:20:36,708 --> 01:20:38,251 ♪ Wre-e-eck me ♪ 2138 01:20:38,251 --> 01:20:39,419 (distorted screaming) 2139 01:20:39,419 --> 01:20:43,006 ♪ Yeah, you, you wre-e-eck me ♪ 2140 01:20:43,006 --> 01:20:46,968 ♪ I put you high up in the sky ♪ 2141 01:20:46,968 --> 01:20:51,098 ♪ And now you're not coming down ♪ 2142 01:20:51,098 --> 01:20:55,268 ♪ It slowly turned, you let me burn ♪ 2143 01:20:55,268 --> 01:20:58,939 ♪ And now we're ashes on the ground ♪ 2144 01:20:59,815 --> 01:21:03,151 ♪ Don't you ever say I just walked away ♪ 2145 01:21:03,151 --> 01:21:06,446 ♪ I will always want you ♪ 2146 01:21:06,446 --> 01:21:10,408 ♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪ 2147 01:21:10,408 --> 01:21:14,246 ♪ Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung ♪ 2148 01:21:14,246 --> 01:21:17,666 ♪ Left me crashing in a blazing fall ♪ 2149 01:21:17,666 --> 01:21:23,004 ♪ All you ever did was wre-e-eck me ♪ 2150 01:21:23,004 --> 01:21:26,424 ♪ Yeah, you, you wre-e-eck me ♪ 2151 01:21:26,424 --> 01:21:28,552 (whimpering) 2152 01:21:29,970 --> 01:21:33,431 ♪ I never meant to start a war ♪ 2153 01:21:33,431 --> 01:21:37,060 ♪ I just wanted you to let me in... ♪ 2154 01:21:37,060 --> 01:21:39,771 Uh, yeah, we should probably leave. 2155 01:21:39,771 --> 01:21:41,189 Oh, yeah, we got to go right now? 2156 01:21:41,189 --> 01:21:42,524 I was kind of enjoying this. 2157 01:21:42,524 --> 01:21:44,025 ♪ I guess I should've let you win... ♪ 2158 01:21:44,025 --> 01:21:45,527 Yo, Reg, I got to be honest with you, man. 2159 01:21:45,527 --> 01:21:46,987 I ain't think you was gonna do that shit. 2160 01:21:46,987 --> 01:21:48,780 MAGGIE: You really committed to that. 2161 01:21:48,780 --> 01:21:50,282 HUNTER: Yeah, that was more graphic than I was expecting. 2162 01:21:50,282 --> 01:21:51,533 MAGGIE: That was almost too far. 2163 01:21:51,533 --> 01:21:52,784 BUG: You one-upped me, for sure. 2164 01:21:52,784 --> 01:21:54,119 I mean, I bit a girl's ankle. 2165 01:21:54,119 --> 01:21:56,830 You ripped a man's penis off. 2166 01:22:04,754 --> 01:22:06,631 (song ends) 2167 01:22:06,631 --> 01:22:08,550 ("Follow You" by Dave Sarazen playing) 2168 01:22:08,550 --> 01:22:11,720 - (birds chirping) - (dogs barking) 2169 01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:15,056 REGGIE: Today is gonna be the best day ever. 2170 01:22:15,056 --> 01:22:16,558 How do I know that? 2171 01:22:16,558 --> 01:22:19,269 Because every day is the best day ever. 2172 01:22:19,269 --> 01:22:22,731 Hunter went back to his job at the old human home, 2173 01:22:22,731 --> 01:22:24,691 and he didn't even need his cone. 2174 01:22:24,691 --> 01:22:25,942 Hey, Cone of Shame. 2175 01:22:25,942 --> 01:22:27,527 Where's your lampshade? (chuckles) 2176 01:22:27,527 --> 01:22:29,988 Actually, Bubsy, I don't need that cone anymore, 2177 01:22:29,988 --> 01:22:32,532 just like I don't need any of your shit anymore. 2178 01:22:32,532 --> 01:22:33,783 Fuck you, Bubsy. 2179 01:22:33,783 --> 01:22:35,702 Wow. I had no idea you felt that way. 2180 01:22:35,702 --> 01:22:38,163 I'm sorry. I-I'm just gonna go. 2181 01:22:39,080 --> 01:22:40,498 Fuck your mother! 2182 01:22:40,498 --> 01:22:42,000 (laughs) Fuck out of here! 2183 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,585 REGGIE: And he finally found the courage 2184 01:22:43,585 --> 01:22:45,378 to let Maggie know how he feels about her. 2185 01:22:45,378 --> 01:22:47,214 And now they have sex all the time. 2186 01:22:47,214 --> 01:22:49,758 Regular style, of course. 2187 01:22:49,758 --> 01:22:51,551 Attaboy, Hunter. 2188 01:22:52,802 --> 01:22:54,971 Reminds me of when I was young. 2189 01:22:54,971 --> 01:22:57,599 You used to fuck dogs? 2190 01:22:57,599 --> 01:22:58,767 What? 2191 01:22:58,767 --> 01:23:00,185 REGGIE: And Maggie, well, 2192 01:23:00,185 --> 01:23:02,604 she finally got the owner she deserves. 2193 01:23:02,604 --> 01:23:05,607 Maggie's part of the detection squad now, 2194 01:23:05,607 --> 01:23:07,776 and she's the best sniffer on the team. 2195 01:23:07,776 --> 01:23:10,487 Oh, I love the costume you gave her. 2196 01:23:10,487 --> 01:23:11,696 So good. 2197 01:23:11,696 --> 01:23:13,865 Uniform. For work. 2198 01:23:13,865 --> 01:23:15,700 REGGIE: And Bug's the same old Bug. 2199 01:23:15,700 --> 01:23:17,869 With one pretty big exception. 2200 01:23:17,869 --> 01:23:20,205 He's changed his stance on people. 2201 01:23:20,205 --> 01:23:21,539 (laughing) 2202 01:23:21,539 --> 01:23:24,209 Or at least one very special person. 2203 01:23:24,209 --> 01:23:25,877 - (barking, laughing) - ♪ And you're feeling down ♪ 2204 01:23:25,877 --> 01:23:27,212 ♪ You can follow me ♪ 2205 01:23:27,212 --> 01:23:29,631 ♪ And I'll show you how to love ♪ 2206 01:23:30,590 --> 01:23:31,800 ♪ To love... ♪ 2207 01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:33,843 REGGIE: Sure, joining a family was a bit 2208 01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,763 of a learning experience for him. 2209 01:23:38,181 --> 01:23:39,975 Oh, baby, I love this. 2210 01:23:39,975 --> 01:23:42,394 Your cushions are so much tighter than Dolores's. 2211 01:23:42,394 --> 01:23:46,147 Now, what is this fabric? Faux suede? 2212 01:23:46,147 --> 01:23:47,315 Hey. 2213 01:23:47,315 --> 01:23:48,692 Oh, hey, Kevin. 2214 01:23:49,567 --> 01:23:51,861 Come on, buddy. No humping the couch. 2215 01:23:53,238 --> 01:23:55,949 Nothing will ever come between us. 2216 01:23:56,908 --> 01:23:59,661 REGGIE: Yep, life is pretty damn great. 2217 01:23:59,661 --> 01:24:01,454 So we'll see you guys tonight? 2218 01:24:01,454 --> 01:24:02,580 - Yep. - You know it. 2219 01:24:02,580 --> 01:24:04,416 ALL: Scraps night. 2220 01:24:06,876 --> 01:24:10,255 REGGIE: As for me, I chose to stay a stray, 2221 01:24:10,255 --> 01:24:12,090 and I couldn't be happier. 2222 01:24:12,090 --> 01:24:14,259 And for any dogs in need, 2223 01:24:14,259 --> 01:24:16,344 I'll be there to show them the ropes. 2224 01:24:16,344 --> 01:24:18,972 Hey there. I'm Reggie. You got a name? 2225 01:24:18,972 --> 01:24:21,308 Oh, hi. I'm-I'm Shitstain. 2226 01:24:21,308 --> 01:24:24,227 No. No, no, no. That's not your name. Trust me. 2227 01:24:25,061 --> 01:24:27,063 Rule number one of being a stray: 2228 01:24:27,063 --> 01:24:29,357 You want something, you pee on it. 2229 01:24:29,357 --> 01:24:31,192 And whatever you pee on is yours. 2230 01:24:31,192 --> 01:24:33,361 Oh. How about this lamppost? 2231 01:24:33,361 --> 01:24:35,989 - That's mine! - Oh. Okay. 2232 01:24:35,989 --> 01:24:37,282 Rule number two: 2233 01:24:37,282 --> 01:24:39,117 You can pretty much hump whatever you want. 2234 01:24:39,117 --> 01:24:40,744 - Cool! Sweet! - Awesome! Yes! 2235 01:24:40,744 --> 01:24:45,582 Rule number three is the most important rule, bar none: 2236 01:24:45,582 --> 01:24:47,709 You are not alone. 2237 01:24:48,585 --> 01:24:50,670 You know, I used to think my place 2238 01:24:50,670 --> 01:24:52,922 was by Doug's side, but now I know 2239 01:24:52,922 --> 01:24:55,133 my place is wherever I want it to be, 2240 01:24:55,133 --> 01:24:58,386 and I've never felt more at home. 2241 01:24:58,386 --> 01:25:00,555 'Cause I know a guy who lets me crash 2242 01:25:00,555 --> 01:25:02,724 whenever I want. 2243 01:25:02,724 --> 01:25:04,684 - Hey, loser. - Hey, fuckface. 2244 01:25:06,269 --> 01:25:07,979 (chuckling) 2245 01:25:07,979 --> 01:25:10,148 Liam, the cute scruffy dog is back! 2246 01:25:12,233 --> 01:25:13,943 (laughter) 2247 01:25:13,943 --> 01:25:15,820 (barks) 2248 01:25:16,821 --> 01:25:19,574 - Isn't this the life? - (Reggie sighs) 2249 01:25:20,575 --> 01:25:22,494 LIAM: Who's a good boy? 2250 01:25:22,494 --> 01:25:24,079 You're a good boy. 2251 01:25:24,913 --> 01:25:26,998 Such a good boy. 2252 01:25:26,998 --> 01:25:29,209 REGGIE: I've learned a lot since Doug. 2253 01:25:29,209 --> 01:25:31,044 Sure, there are some bad people in this world, 2254 01:25:31,044 --> 01:25:34,881 but even Bug would agree-- the good ones are out there. 2255 01:25:34,881 --> 01:25:37,050 You just got to keep your eyes open. 2256 01:25:37,050 --> 01:25:38,593 Hey, kids. 2257 01:25:38,593 --> 01:25:40,095 I'll rip your fucking lungs out through your mouth! 2258 01:25:40,095 --> 01:25:41,721 - Fuck you, mailman! Fuck you! - Son of a bitch! 2259 01:25:41,721 --> 01:25:43,473 Oh, these guys have a lot of energy, don't they? 2260 01:25:43,473 --> 01:25:45,183 I'm-a eat your fucking nut sack... -You're a bad person! 2261 01:25:45,183 --> 01:25:46,601 Get out of here, you evil, evil little shit! -Aw. 2262 01:25:46,601 --> 01:25:47,977 I'll give you to the count of three, 2263 01:25:47,977 --> 01:25:49,771 and then I'm gonna jump this fence 2264 01:25:49,771 --> 01:25:51,648 - and skull-fuck you to death! - You stupid fucking evil devil! 2265 01:25:51,648 --> 01:25:53,400 You're just as bad as your friend in the sky! -One, two... 2266 01:25:53,400 --> 01:25:55,318 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You smart. - You fuckwad, go! Go! 2267 01:25:55,318 --> 01:25:56,611 - You smart. - Go! Keep moving! 2268 01:25:56,611 --> 01:25:58,363 BUG: Smart move. Keep walking. 2269 01:25:58,363 --> 01:26:00,198 REGGIE: Don't even think about coming back here tomorrow. 2270 01:26:00,198 --> 01:26:01,533 - Fuck off! - BUG: Yeah, bitch. 2271 01:26:01,533 --> 01:26:03,118 You don't want to get this guy angry. 2272 01:26:03,118 --> 01:26:05,703 REGGIE: I may be small, but you have no idea 2273 01:26:05,703 --> 01:26:07,956 what I'm capable of. 2274 01:26:07,956 --> 01:26:10,208 Just ask Doug! 2275 01:26:10,208 --> 01:26:12,877 I ripped the guy's cock off! 2276 01:26:12,877 --> 01:26:15,547 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2277 01:26:15,547 --> 01:26:18,049 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2278 01:26:18,049 --> 01:26:20,635 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2279 01:26:20,635 --> 01:26:23,012 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2280 01:26:23,012 --> 01:26:25,306 ♪ It's one-nine-nine-trey, so let me just play ♪ 2281 01:26:25,306 --> 01:26:27,016 ♪ It's Snoop Dogg, I'm on the mic ♪ 2282 01:26:27,016 --> 01:26:28,685 - ♪ I'm back with Dr. Dre ♪ - (eagle screeches) 2283 01:26:28,685 --> 01:26:31,020 ♪ But this time I'm-a hit yo' ass with a touch ♪ 2284 01:26:31,020 --> 01:26:33,648 ♪ To leave motherfuckers in a daze, fucked up ♪ 2285 01:26:33,648 --> 01:26:36,151 ♪ So sit back, relax, new jacks get smacked ♪ 2286 01:26:36,151 --> 01:26:38,820 ♪ It's Snoop Doggy Dogg, I'm at the top of the stack ♪ 2287 01:26:38,820 --> 01:26:41,614 ♪ I don't lack for a second and I'm still checkin' ♪ 2288 01:26:41,614 --> 01:26:44,242 ♪ The dopest motherfucker that ya hearin' on the record ♪ 2289 01:26:44,242 --> 01:26:46,411 ♪ It's me, ya see, S-N-double-O-P ♪ 2290 01:26:46,411 --> 01:26:48,705 ♪ D-O-double-G-Y, the D-O-double-G ♪ 2291 01:26:48,705 --> 01:26:52,417 ♪ I'm fly as a falcon soarin' through the sky ♪ 2292 01:26:52,417 --> 01:26:54,294 ♪ And I'm high till I dizzie, rizzide ♪ 2293 01:26:54,294 --> 01:26:57,422 ♪ So check it, I get busy, I make your head dizzy ♪ 2294 01:26:57,422 --> 01:26:59,966 ♪ I blow up your mouth like I was Dizzy Gillespie ♪ 2295 01:26:59,966 --> 01:27:02,010 ♪ I'm crazy, you can't phase me ♪ 2296 01:27:02,010 --> 01:27:03,678 ♪ I'm the S, oh, yes, I'm fresh ♪ 2297 01:27:03,678 --> 01:27:05,180 ♪ I don't fuck with the stress ♪ 2298 01:27:05,180 --> 01:27:07,849 ♪ I'm all about the chronic, bionic, ya see ♪ 2299 01:27:07,849 --> 01:27:10,852 ♪ Every single day, chillin' with the D-O-double-Gs ♪ 2300 01:27:10,852 --> 01:27:13,104 ♪ P-O-U-N-D, that's my clique, my crew ♪ 2301 01:27:13,104 --> 01:27:15,523 ♪ You fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up ♪ 2302 01:27:15,523 --> 01:27:17,525 ♪ I thought you knew, but yet and still ♪ 2303 01:27:17,525 --> 01:27:20,945 ♪ You wanna get real, now it's time to peel, you say chill ♪ 2304 01:27:20,945 --> 01:27:23,114 ♪ And feel the motherfuckin' realism ♪ 2305 01:27:23,114 --> 01:27:24,949 ♪ Snoop Doggy Dogg is on the mic ♪ 2306 01:27:24,949 --> 01:27:26,618 ♪ I'm hittin' hard as steel ♪ 2307 01:27:26,618 --> 01:27:29,204 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2308 01:27:29,204 --> 01:27:31,956 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2309 01:27:31,956 --> 01:27:34,459 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2310 01:27:34,459 --> 01:27:36,878 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2311 01:27:36,878 --> 01:27:39,714 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2312 01:27:39,714 --> 01:27:42,300 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz ♪ 2313 01:27:42,300 --> 01:27:44,886 ♪ This is for the Gz and this is for the hustlas ♪ 2314 01:27:44,886 --> 01:27:47,722 ♪ This is for the hustlas, now back to the Gz. ♪ 2315 01:27:47,722 --> 01:27:49,641 (barking) 2316 01:27:52,101 --> 01:27:53,561 (song ends) 2317 01:27:53,561 --> 01:27:55,772 In addition to the multiple facial lacerations 2318 01:27:55,772 --> 01:27:58,691 and the, uh, severe burn wounds, 2319 01:27:58,691 --> 01:28:01,653 we also discovered an alarming amount of, um, 2320 01:28:01,653 --> 01:28:03,821 fecal bacteria in your system, 2321 01:28:03,821 --> 01:28:08,076 um, which I would imagine came from the... the... the-the... 2322 01:28:08,076 --> 01:28:09,661 Dog shitting in my mouth? 2323 01:28:09,661 --> 01:28:11,496 - Right. Yeah. - Yeah. 2324 01:28:12,330 --> 01:28:16,501 Um, ba-ba-ba... checking the clipboard. 2325 01:28:16,501 --> 01:28:20,129 Uh, oh, yeah, we also, uh, uh, couldn't reattach the penis. 2326 01:28:21,714 --> 01:28:25,134 DOUG: Fuck...! 2327 01:28:25,134 --> 01:28:27,303 ♪ ♪ 2328 01:28:36,771 --> 01:28:39,274 (beatboxing) 2329 01:28:39,274 --> 01:28:41,150 ♪ Jamie ♪ 2330 01:28:42,193 --> 01:28:44,862 ♪ Jamie Foxx ♪ 2331 01:28:44,862 --> 01:28:46,739 ♪ Will Ferrell ♪ 2332 01:28:46,739 --> 01:28:48,950 (barking rhythmically) 2333 01:29:00,336 --> 01:29:03,298 ♪ Dirty, dirty dog ♪ 2334 01:29:03,298 --> 01:29:05,258 ♪ I'm a stray ♪ 2335 01:29:05,258 --> 01:29:07,427 (barking rhythmically) 2336 01:29:13,349 --> 01:29:15,435 ♪ Quit doggin' me! ♪ 2337 01:29:16,311 --> 01:29:18,313 ♪ Quit doggin' me! ♪ 2338 01:29:19,230 --> 01:29:21,441 (beatboxing and barking rhythmically) 2339 01:29:21,441 --> 01:29:23,985 ♪ I'm a str-str-stray ♪ 2340 01:29:23,985 --> 01:29:25,778 ♪ I'm a stray. ♪ 2341 01:29:25,778 --> 01:29:28,031 ♪ ♪ 2342 01:29:57,852 --> 01:29:59,979 ♪ ♪ 2343 01:30:29,884 --> 01:30:32,011 ♪ ♪ 2344 01:31:01,999 --> 01:31:04,127 ♪ ♪ 2345 01:31:34,031 --> 01:31:36,159 ♪ ♪ 2346 01:32:05,980 --> 01:32:08,107 ♪ ♪ 2347 01:32:38,012 --> 01:32:40,139 ♪ ♪ 2348 01:33:02,787 --> 01:33:04,956 (music fades)