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[grand orchestral fanfare playing]
2
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[dogs barking]
3
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["Follow You" playing]
4
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[birds chirping]
5
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[dog] Today is gonna be the best day ever.
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How do I know that?
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Because every day is the best day ever.
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I love my life.
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I love sunshine, I love butterflies.
10
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But more than anything,
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I love Doug.
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-Hey!
-[barking]
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Shut the fuck up!
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Fucking piece of shit.
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[dog] That's Doug.
Also known as the best owner in the world.
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-[barks]
-[grunts]
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[dog] I still remember
the first day we met.
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-She was too flirting with you.
-[dog barks]
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[gasps] Hey, babies!
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[dog] The second Doug laid eyes on me,
we knew we were meant to be together.
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Fuck.
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[dog] Ever since that day,
he and I have been inseparable.
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Why is Doug so great?
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-Where do I begin?
-Get down.
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[dog] He loves being around me
so much, he doesn't even have a job.
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Also, Doug doesn't get me boring dog toys.
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He lets me come up with my own toys.
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Hi, Reggie. What you got?
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[Reggie] Like this stretchy thing.
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-What the fuck!
-Uh…
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Those aren't mine.
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There's a simple explanation.
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This was supposed to be
a Christmas present.
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Doug, it's July.
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[Reggie] Sometimes I worry if I'm doing
a good job making Doug happy.
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-You don't get it.
-I'm done. Reggie.
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[Reggie] But then I realized
I do make Doug happy.
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What are you doing?
You don't even like the dog.
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I love this dog. [kisses]
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[Reggie] And that makes me happy.
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-[sighs]
-All that matters is that you like him.
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And I like that
you don't get to have him.
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You are a total fucking loser.
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-Yeah, a loser with a dog.
-[door slams shut]
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[Reggie] Honestly,
the only thing in the world
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that Doug maybe loves more than me
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is his favorite toy: his penis.
48
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He gives it haircuts,
he watches TV with it…
49
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-[actor on computer] Flip it around!
-Stop staring. You're ruining it.
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[Reggie] And the way he pets that thing,
sometimes I wish I was a penis.
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But every time I try to play with it,
he gets so possessive.
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Get off! Get-- Bad dog!
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[Reggie] The key to any good relationship
is having things in common.
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We both like barking…
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-[coughing]
-[barking]
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[Reggie] We both love a good scratch.
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[sniffing]
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[Reggie] And we can stay up all night,
just talking for hours.
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[groans]
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You fucked up my life, didn't you?
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[Reggie] Even though I don't understand
what he's saying…
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She never would have found out
if it wasn't for your dumb ass.
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…I can tell he loves me.
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[knocking on door]
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[Reggie] And while I don't know
that many human beings,
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I think it's safe to assume
he's one of the best.
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Oh, goddamn.
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It's bullshit, Mom.
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They're kicking me out 'cause
your last check wasn't enough for rent.
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[Reggie] You might say Doug is messy,
but lately…
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No, I'm not gonna
move back home.
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…he's been much better
at putting his toys away.
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No, I'm sorry. Look.
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It's just you know that
I can't live that close to a school.
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No!
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Bad dog! That's my favorite
fucking bong, dude!
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[sighs]
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Oh. You like that ball, don't you?
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[Reggie] Lately, Doug has been playing
a brand-new game with me
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called "Fetch and Fuck"!
81
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Fetch.
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[Reggie] Basically, Doug drops me off
really far away…
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Sayonara, ke-mo sah-bee.
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…throws the ball,
and drives home without me.
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Then it's my turn to get the ball
and find my way back home!
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-When I bring the ball back, he says--
-Fuck.
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[Reggie laughs]
And that's how I know I won the game!
88
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[Doug] Fetch!
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[Reggie]
We've been playing it a lot lately.
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-[Doug] Fuck!
-[Reggie] Sometimes we play it
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three or four times in the same day.
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-Fetch!
-[Reggie barks]
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Fuck!
94
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Fetch! Fuck!
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Fuck!
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Fuck!
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Holy fuck!
98
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[Reggie] "Holy fuck" is right!
I win again!
99
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That's it.
100
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This ends now.
101
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["Shine on Me" playing]
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♪ You only got a couple miles to go ♪
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♪ If you're trying to drive me insane… ♪
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[Reggie] These road trips are the best!
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Because you get to see
the exciting world outside our town.
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Keep driving, Doug!
107
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Don't make it too easy on me.
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[Reggie chuckles] I love a challenge.
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♪ 'Cause I hide from everyone ♪
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♪ Shine on me ♪
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♪ Shine on me ♪
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♪ Shine on me ♪
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♪ Shine on me ♪
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[Reggie] This round's gonna be
the hardest one yet,
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because we went way further
than we've ever gone before.
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In fact, I have no idea where we are.
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And that's exciting!
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I know the world seems like
a scary place sometimes,
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but I don't worry.
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Good luck fetching this.
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[Reggie]
Because I'm always safe at Doug's side.
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-[truck engine starts]
-[tires screeching]
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[Reggie] Sure, Doug really
challenges me with this game,
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but that's just because he believes in me.
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[thunder rumbling]
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[Reggie] You know what they say:
The best relationships are the hard ones.
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You have to put in the work.
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-[clattering]
-[Reggie] You gotta have courage.
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And you always need to remember
that real love…
130
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is never easy.
131
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But even though I love this game,
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I kinda want it to be over.
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Because, well,
I really just wanna be home.
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[horn honks]
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[dog barking nearby]
136
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Okay, time to get moving.
137
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[singsongy] Going back to Doug's.
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[siren wailing in distance]
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[muffled] This is a nice neighborhood.
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-[cat yowling]
-[clattering]
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I like all the trash.
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And the needles. So many needles.
143
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Hey, honey, you ever been with
an Afghan before?
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[Reggie, muffled] Uh, no,
I don't think so, but thank you.
145
00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:43,483
Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
146
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You lost?
147
00:08:45,485 --> 00:08:48,821
Hi, there, big dogs. Yes, I am lost.
148
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I'm trying to get to Doug's place.
149
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:52,116
Do-- Do you know which way
that is from here?
150
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:55,578
-Hmm… You say Doug's place?
-I did, yeah.
151
00:08:55,662 --> 00:08:58,122
-Oh, yeah, I know which way that is.
-Oh, great.
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00:08:58,206 --> 00:09:00,625
Right up my fucking ass,
you little shit.
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00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:01,876
Oh… No, that can't be right.
154
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,213
[stammers] Okay.
Well, I'll just be on my way.
155
00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:07,590
Uh, can I please have my ball back?
156
00:09:07,674 --> 00:09:10,426
Your ball? You'll be lucky
if I let you leave with your life.
157
00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:13,972
Hey! Who in the fuck is making
all that noise in my fucking alley?
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00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:15,348
Who's this guy?
159
00:09:15,431 --> 00:09:18,893
Oh, you don't want me to come around
this fucking corner now, do you?
160
00:09:18,977 --> 00:09:20,895
Shit's gonna get crackin'. Trust me!
161
00:09:20,979 --> 00:09:22,856
You wanna dance, motherfuckers, huh?
162
00:09:22,939 --> 00:09:25,233
You wanna dance? Let's do this.
163
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What's up, bitches? Huh?
164
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,029
Oh, he's tiny.
165
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The shadow.
I thought he was fucking big.
166
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,158
Yeah, we can destroy this guy, right?
167
00:09:34,242 --> 00:09:37,495
Yeah, go ahead, bite me,
you raggedy motherfuckers.
168
00:09:37,579 --> 00:09:38,705
I dare you!
169
00:09:38,788 --> 00:09:40,582
You know how many diseases is up in me?
170
00:09:40,665 --> 00:09:42,166
Rabies, scabies,
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whatever disease you can get
from tongue-fucking a dead squirrel,
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which I did last night,
'cause I'm crazy, man!
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[sputters]
174
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That's a 37-inch vertical.
175
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I'ma tell you right now,
you run up on me,
176
00:09:53,428 --> 00:09:57,015
and I'll stick this paw right up your ass
and in his. Like a shish kebab.
177
00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:58,141
Whoa. This guy seems nuts.
178
00:09:58,224 --> 00:09:59,809
Look at the way
he's barking at his own ass.
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I'll do it! I'll do it!
I'll bite my own ass off!
180
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Oh, man.
The fuck is wrong with this guy?
181
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I'm so crazy I'll fuck the trash!
182
00:10:07,901 --> 00:10:09,569
You like it, don't you? [grunts]
You like it.
183
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,987
You wanna get recycled?
184
00:10:11,070 --> 00:10:14,115
Anybody got a twisty tie?
'Cause I'm fucking this bag up.
185
00:10:14,199 --> 00:10:15,366
Okay, who's next?
186
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:16,701
He's freaking me out. Let's bounce.
187
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,078
[Boston terrier] I'll fight you
or fuck you. Dealer's choice.
188
00:10:19,162 --> 00:10:21,080
But either way,
you're getting worms!
189
00:10:21,831 --> 00:10:24,042
[laughs] Large breeds, man.
190
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:28,129
These motherfuckers, man, always
falling for that crazy little dog trick.
191
00:10:28,213 --> 00:10:29,255
Hey, you with me, kid?
192
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,966
'Cause this block ain't for dogs like you.
We should get the hell outta here.
193
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:33,718
But my tennis ball…
194
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,261
Ah, fuck it.
We'll get you another one.
195
00:10:38,264 --> 00:10:40,475
[dog barking in distance]
196
00:10:40,558 --> 00:10:42,644
I'm Bug, by the way.
You got a name?
197
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:45,813
Oh. Right, sorry.
It's good to meet you, Bug.
198
00:10:45,897 --> 00:10:47,774
-My name is Shitbag.
-What?
199
00:10:47,857 --> 00:10:50,109
Oh, it's short for "Dumbass Shitbag."
200
00:10:50,193 --> 00:10:52,737
But sometimes,
Doug pronounces it "Fucknugget."
201
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,448
Uh, none of those
sound like names.
202
00:10:55,532 --> 00:10:59,661
Oh. Well, Doug's lady friend
used to call me "Reggie."
203
00:10:59,744 --> 00:11:01,913
Reggie. There you go.
Yeah, we're gonna go with that.
204
00:11:01,996 --> 00:11:03,081
Let's keep moving.
205
00:11:03,164 --> 00:11:05,708
So, how long you been
a stray for, Reggie?
206
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:07,502
Oh, I… No, I'm not a stray.
207
00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:09,879
-Oh, you're not?
-I-I'm just out here temporarily.
208
00:11:09,963 --> 00:11:11,256
-Oh.
-I actually have an owner.
209
00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:14,175
We're playing this game
where he drops me off far away…
210
00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:15,426
-Mm-hmm. Right.
-…throws a ball,
211
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:17,971
and then it's my turn
to bring the ball back home.
212
00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:19,639
[laughs]
213
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,183
[chuckling]
214
00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,309
[both laughing]
215
00:11:23,893 --> 00:11:25,645
-[Bug] Holy shit!
-Yeah.
216
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:29,899
That's, uh… I-I-I'm sorry, man,
but that's incredibly tragic
217
00:11:29,983 --> 00:11:33,486
and the funniest fucking thing
I've heard in a long fucking time.
218
00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:34,988
Glad you're having a good laugh.
219
00:11:35,071 --> 00:11:36,281
Take it from me, kid.
220
00:11:36,364 --> 00:11:39,576
That owner of yours,
he's not playing any game with you.
221
00:11:39,659 --> 00:11:41,452
-He left your ass, okay?
-Huh?
222
00:11:41,536 --> 00:11:44,080
You are officially a stray.
223
00:11:44,163 --> 00:11:45,373
Don't call me that.
224
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:47,000
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
225
00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:50,128
I'm a stray and I'm having
the time of my life.
226
00:11:50,211 --> 00:11:51,671
You'll learn. How old are you?
227
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:52,922
I'm two.
228
00:11:53,006 --> 00:11:56,718
Well, I'm three, and I have seen it all.
Paw to God.
229
00:11:56,801 --> 00:12:00,680
I once saw a dog
that was half Labrador and half poodle.
230
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:02,515
-A-A Labradoodle!
-No. No, no, no.
231
00:12:02,599 --> 00:12:03,766
A Poo-dor.
232
00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:05,143
-A Poo-dor?
-The other way around.
233
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:07,103
-Even fucking weirder.
-Yeah.
234
00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:10,899
Point is, life out here on your own
can be fucking awesome,
235
00:12:10,982 --> 00:12:12,817
as long as you go by the rules.
236
00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:15,111
W-Well, what rules?
237
00:12:15,195 --> 00:12:18,448
Rule number one:
You want something, you pee on it.
238
00:12:18,531 --> 00:12:20,491
Whatever you pee on, it's yours.
239
00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:21,576
Let's try it out.
240
00:12:21,659 --> 00:12:23,661
-You see that lamppost over there?
-Yeah.
241
00:12:23,745 --> 00:12:25,455
I want you to go over there
and pee on that.
242
00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:26,789
And you're sure this is okay?
243
00:12:26,873 --> 00:12:28,708
Go ahead.
Ain't nobody givin' a fuck.
244
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,835
You're a fucking stray now.
That's my point.
245
00:12:30,919 --> 00:12:34,631
Well, I'm not a stray, but, yeah, okay.
246
00:12:34,714 --> 00:12:37,300
Congratulations. You now own a lamppost.
247
00:12:39,177 --> 00:12:40,303
Oh, wow.
248
00:12:40,386 --> 00:12:41,971
{\an8}[Bug] Now, let's talk rule number two.
249
00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:44,474
{\an8}You can pretty much fuck
whatever you want.
250
00:12:44,557 --> 00:12:46,309
Have you ever humped anything before?
251
00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:48,394
Well, I wouldn't say I've humped per se,
252
00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:50,563
but I do like to dance on Doug's leg.
253
00:12:50,647 --> 00:12:52,148
Dude, that wasn't dancing.
254
00:12:52,232 --> 00:12:54,859
Baby, you was humping.
The devil's dance.
255
00:12:54,943 --> 00:12:59,822
But now, the world is like a buffet
for your tiny dog dick.
256
00:12:59,906 --> 00:13:01,199
-Really?
-You know what?
257
00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:02,659
I recently fucked this couch.
258
00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:04,285
-No.
-Mm-hmm.
259
00:13:04,369 --> 00:13:06,579
-Best sex of my life.
-Wow. Really?
260
00:13:06,663 --> 00:13:08,790
Yeah, a-a-and she dirty, too.
261
00:13:08,873 --> 00:13:10,124
Oh, well, I-I can tell.
262
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:12,335
Looks like she hasn't been washed
in years.
263
00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:14,003
[smacks lips] I'll see you later, baby.
264
00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:19,133
It was nice to meet you.
265
00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:22,387
Now, rule number three.
266
00:13:22,929 --> 00:13:26,474
And this is the most important, bar none.
267
00:13:26,558 --> 00:13:29,686
You are on your own.
268
00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:32,438
-That's awful.
-That's not a bad thing, all right?
269
00:13:32,522 --> 00:13:33,606
Right now, you're freaking out
270
00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:36,234
'cause you feel like, you know,
y-y-you need this Doug guy.
271
00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:39,737
-I do!
-But no, no, trust me, you don't.
272
00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:42,574
Humans trick us into thinking
that we need 'em.
273
00:13:42,657 --> 00:13:44,576
But they're just brainwashing us, man.
274
00:13:44,659 --> 00:13:47,745
Point is, you ain't gotta
deal with that shit no more, okay?
275
00:13:47,829 --> 00:13:48,872
You a stray.
276
00:13:48,955 --> 00:13:51,374
-You can do anything you want now.
-I don't know.
277
00:13:51,457 --> 00:13:55,545
Come on, repeat after me.
"I can do anything."
278
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:58,298
I can do… anything?
279
00:13:58,381 --> 00:13:59,841
Damn fucking right you can.
280
00:13:59,924 --> 00:14:03,761
Now, you wanna see how fucked-up
humans can be? Come on.
281
00:14:03,845 --> 00:14:05,263
[people chattering]
282
00:14:05,346 --> 00:14:07,891
[Bug] Look at these motherfuckers here.
283
00:14:07,974 --> 00:14:08,975
[dog barks]
284
00:14:09,058 --> 00:14:10,852
[Bug] A bunch of pet dogs,
285
00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:13,021
losing their minds
over their 15 minutes of freedom.
286
00:14:13,104 --> 00:14:17,275
God, if only our wolf ancestors
could see these pussies.
287
00:14:18,401 --> 00:14:19,819
Follow me.
288
00:14:19,903 --> 00:14:22,238
Now, why are these humans
so desperate to keep us?
289
00:14:22,322 --> 00:14:24,699
-Because they love us?
-No, no, I got a theory.
290
00:14:24,782 --> 00:14:27,118
-They need us for our poop.
-Huh?
291
00:14:27,202 --> 00:14:28,536
[Bug] Watch that lady. Watch her.
292
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,079
-See? See?
-[Reggie] Uh-huh.
293
00:14:30,163 --> 00:14:32,415
[Bug] It's like they're collecting it
for something.
294
00:14:32,498 --> 00:14:33,708
[Reggie]
What do you think they do with it?
295
00:14:33,791 --> 00:14:35,460
I think they're using it
to make chocolate.
296
00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,003
-Oh.
-Have you ever had a piece of chocolate?
297
00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:38,338
-No.
-Exactly.
298
00:14:38,421 --> 00:14:40,006
Come on.
I'm gonna introduce you to my homies.
299
00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:42,217
I thought you said
these dogs were all losers.
300
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,219
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say a lot of shit.
301
00:14:44,302 --> 00:14:45,553
-Hey, losers.
-Hey, Bug.
302
00:14:45,637 --> 00:14:48,348
Ugh. If it isn't the tiny dog
who caught the car.
303
00:14:48,431 --> 00:14:50,725
-I did catch that car.
-No, everyone knows that's impossible.
304
00:14:50,808 --> 00:14:53,478
-Yeah, it was parked.
-Yeah, it parked after I caught it.
305
00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:55,772
-No, there was no one in the car.
-No one in the car.
306
00:14:55,855 --> 00:14:57,815
Listen, I don't even have to keep
this conversation going.
307
00:14:57,899 --> 00:15:00,109
What I was trying to do, losers,
308
00:15:00,193 --> 00:15:02,487
was introduce you
to my new friend, Reggie.
309
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:03,821
He just got dumped.
310
00:15:03,905 --> 00:15:05,698
Aw, sorry, mate.
Welcome to the club.
311
00:15:05,782 --> 00:15:07,534
I'm sorry. Was it at least mutual?
312
00:15:07,617 --> 00:15:09,953
-No, it's actually just a game.
-Reg, I want you to meet Hunter.
313
00:15:10,036 --> 00:15:13,331
He's a therapy dog who works in
a home for dying humans.
314
00:15:13,414 --> 00:15:15,124
Which sounds like an okay gig,
315
00:15:15,208 --> 00:15:17,460
except that he was trained
to be a police dog.
316
00:15:17,544 --> 00:15:19,838
You almost made it to the police squad?
317
00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:20,922
That's awesome.
318
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:23,216
Oh. [chuckles]
Yeah, I… I guess it's awesome.
319
00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:25,051
Get the fuck out of my way, cone boy.
320
00:15:25,134 --> 00:15:26,803
Oh. [chuckles] Sorry about that, Bubsy.
321
00:15:26,886 --> 00:15:28,888
Hunter, say something back, mate.
322
00:15:28,972 --> 00:15:30,056
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
323
00:15:30,139 --> 00:15:31,683
Um… Hey, Bubsy.
324
00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:34,227
You got any fucking…
weekend plans?
325
00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:36,062
-What? Still sounds friendly.
-[Reggie] You got him.
326
00:15:36,145 --> 00:15:38,481
-Yeah, raw-doggin' your mom.
-Ah. Right.
327
00:15:38,565 --> 00:15:41,860
Well, I'm pretty sure she's dead,
but good luck anyway.
328
00:15:41,943 --> 00:15:42,819
Pussy!
329
00:15:42,902 --> 00:15:44,904
[chuckles] Love those observations, Bubs.
Take care.
330
00:15:44,988 --> 00:15:46,239
Hunter, get your weight up.
331
00:15:46,322 --> 00:15:47,615
Don't let him talk to you like that.
332
00:15:47,699 --> 00:15:50,034
-You're the biggest dog here!
-You should eat his freakin' face off,
333
00:15:50,118 --> 00:15:51,619
shit it out and then eat it again.
334
00:15:51,703 --> 00:15:53,705
Bug, you know I don't love confrontation.
335
00:15:53,788 --> 00:15:56,332
Yeah, don't let the big dick fool you.
He's just a gigantic pussy.
336
00:15:56,416 --> 00:15:59,586
Whoa. It is a great penis.
337
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:01,838
Oh, thanks.
You know, I try to keep it clean.
338
00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:03,548
Do my best to lick it as much as possible.
339
00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,300
Yeah, the only thing
thicker than Hunter's dick
340
00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:07,010
is the sexual tension
between these two.
341
00:16:07,093 --> 00:16:09,179
-Oh, come on. [chuckles]
-Bug, no. What?
342
00:16:09,262 --> 00:16:10,930
-That's funny, though.
-Yeah, right. Imagine.
343
00:16:11,014 --> 00:16:13,516
-[Hunter] "Thicker than Hunter's dick."
-[chuckling]
344
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,809
-But, no. No. [clears throat]
-No.
345
00:16:14,893 --> 00:16:17,937
Now, Maggie, on the other hand,
is one bad bitch.
346
00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:19,898
But sadly, her owner, Jenna,
347
00:16:19,981 --> 00:16:22,567
thinks the badder bitch is the puppy
that replaced her.
348
00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,861
So Bella looked at me,
like, "I want a cupcake too,"
349
00:16:24,944 --> 00:16:26,779
so I was, like,
"I'm gonna get her a cupcake."
350
00:16:26,863 --> 00:16:28,990
-I am so here for that.
-Right?
351
00:16:29,073 --> 00:16:32,785
So, Jenna said, "sit," which I did.
352
00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:34,245
But then I thought,
353
00:16:34,329 --> 00:16:36,164
wouldn't it be cute
if I acted all confused
354
00:16:36,247 --> 00:16:38,708
-and tilted my head, like, "Huh?"
-[dogs] Oh, my God, stop.
355
00:16:38,791 --> 00:16:40,502
Man, sure gotta suck
to compete with that.
356
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:41,753
No, it's fine. [chuckles]
357
00:16:41,836 --> 00:16:43,379
Bella's young and cute and fun,
358
00:16:43,463 --> 00:16:46,216
so of course Jenna loves her more
than me right now, and I get that.
359
00:16:46,299 --> 00:16:48,843
Cool. Anyways, I was thinking,
if you guys are free later--
360
00:16:48,927 --> 00:16:51,763
But what I really don't get is
why Jenna thinks it's so adorable
361
00:16:51,846 --> 00:16:54,224
when she spins around in circles.
I could do that in my sleep.
362
00:16:54,307 --> 00:16:56,142
-You know what, it's totally fine.
-Mmm. Okay.
363
00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:58,520
You know what? It doesn't get to me
so much anymore. I'm fine.
364
00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:00,730
I'm not jealous or worried
or angry or depressed
365
00:17:00,813 --> 00:17:02,899
or confused or fuming
or unhinged at all.
366
00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:04,358
Yeah, you seem totally fine.
367
00:17:04,442 --> 00:17:06,486
And now that Jenna's spending
so much time with Bella,
368
00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:08,238
it's given me a chance
to do a little self-care.
369
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,571
I've been going into the digging.
370
00:17:09,656 --> 00:17:11,491
I like the feeling of the soil
under my nails.
371
00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:14,493
I'm out in the fresh air again.
I'm just connecting to the land.
372
00:17:14,577 --> 00:17:18,205
No, I'm learning I love digging.
I love digging! I love it! I love to dig!
373
00:17:18,289 --> 00:17:19,874
[pug whimpers]
374
00:17:19,958 --> 00:17:21,709
-[Hunter clears throat]
-What's happening?
375
00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:24,087
[chuckles] See, Reg?
Aren't you happy to be a stray now
376
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,214
and not have to deal
with all that owner bullshit?
377
00:17:26,297 --> 00:17:28,508
Well, no. As I said, I'm not a stray.
378
00:17:28,591 --> 00:17:29,884
Doug and I are just playing a game.
379
00:17:29,968 --> 00:17:30,885
Mm-hmm.
380
00:17:30,969 --> 00:17:32,804
Look, why don't you come out
with us tonight?
381
00:17:32,887 --> 00:17:36,850
And you can learn how beautiful
it can be when you're off the leash.
382
00:17:36,933 --> 00:17:40,270
If I can't convince you
that being stray is great,
383
00:17:40,353 --> 00:17:42,146
-scraps night will.
-[Hunter] Sure will.
384
00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:45,024
Well, thank you, but I really
should be getting back to Doug.
385
00:17:45,108 --> 00:17:46,359
What? Why?
386
00:17:46,442 --> 00:17:49,195
So I can make him happy.
Isn't that a dog's purpose?
387
00:17:49,279 --> 00:17:52,574
-Don't you ever say that again!
-Here we go.
388
00:17:52,657 --> 00:17:57,829
Reggie, your purpose is not to make
some stupid human families happy.
389
00:17:57,912 --> 00:18:01,207
It's not to make some single loser
feel more complete.
390
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:03,293
Your purpose is to do
391
00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:05,587
-whatever the fuck you want.
-Whatever the fuck you want.
392
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,172
And when you are a stray,
393
00:18:07,255 --> 00:18:09,716
-there's a lot to fucking do.
-[Maggie, Hunter] …a lot to fucking do.
394
00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:11,467
Why do I feel like
there's an echo in here?
395
00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:13,386
-You've said this a million times.
-[Bug] I know.
396
00:18:13,469 --> 00:18:14,304
I love that spiel.
397
00:18:14,387 --> 00:18:15,889
[Bug] Write your own fucking speeches,
okay?
398
00:18:15,972 --> 00:18:16,890
It's fine. Okay.
399
00:18:16,973 --> 00:18:19,851
[Bug] Now, what do you say, guys?
Another scraps night?
400
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:20,977
[Hunter, Maggie] Yes!
401
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:23,438
All right, meet at the pizza place
at sundown,
402
00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:26,274
and we gonna fuck shit up.
403
00:18:26,357 --> 00:18:27,692
♪ Get wild… ♪
404
00:18:27,775 --> 00:18:30,028
["Get Wild" playing]
405
00:18:32,697 --> 00:18:34,490
So what is scraps night?
406
00:18:34,574 --> 00:18:36,659
It's that one magnificent night
of the week
407
00:18:36,743 --> 00:18:39,078
where humans are a lot more willing
to give us food
408
00:18:39,162 --> 00:18:40,872
or drop it accidentally or both.
409
00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:43,875
That stuff that they're dropping is gold.
410
00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:45,710
I just feel like
we're gonna get in trouble.
411
00:18:45,793 --> 00:18:48,796
No, we're cleaning up.
These fuckers love it when we clean up.
412
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:49,881
[Bug] Wait for it.
413
00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:52,800
Wait for it.
414
00:18:52,884 --> 00:18:54,427
[Maggie] Drop the fucking pizza, bitch.
415
00:18:54,511 --> 00:18:56,054
-Go!
-[Bug] That's the one. Let's do this!
416
00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:57,096
[Reggie yelps]
417
00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:59,057
♪ I-I-I-I'm with all my dogs ♪
418
00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:00,934
♪ Finna fuck the city up ♪
419
00:19:01,017 --> 00:19:04,062
♪ Keep a pocket full
Got these bitches wanna hit me up ♪
420
00:19:04,145 --> 00:19:05,146
♪ Drinking by the pool ♪
421
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:06,856
♪ Doing drugs, is you lit or what? ♪
422
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:08,066
♪ Making hella noise… ♪
423
00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,485
This water is making me dizzy.
424
00:19:10,568 --> 00:19:13,363
It's about to get real dizzy
up in this bitch.
425
00:19:13,446 --> 00:19:16,115
-I don't mind feeling dizzy. I like it.
-[Maggie] Pace yourself, Reg.
426
00:19:16,199 --> 00:19:18,284
["Get Wild" continues playing]
427
00:19:26,835 --> 00:19:29,087
[Bug] Chester, for the last time,
428
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:30,588
there's no fucking fence there.
429
00:19:30,672 --> 00:19:32,841
-Just come out with us!
-I can't.
430
00:19:32,924 --> 00:19:35,593
I'm telling you,
there is a magical fence there.
431
00:19:35,677 --> 00:19:37,095
You just can't see it!
432
00:19:37,178 --> 00:19:38,680
-Come on, Chester!
-Come on!
433
00:19:38,763 --> 00:19:40,723
[all chanting] Chester! Chester!
434
00:19:40,807 --> 00:19:44,352
Honestly, that is persuasive,
and I don't know why.
435
00:19:44,435 --> 00:19:45,687
[chanting continues]
436
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,897
I can't believe I'm doing this.
437
00:19:47,981 --> 00:19:49,399
Stop being a pussy and do this!
438
00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:50,483
Okay!
439
00:19:50,567 --> 00:19:52,402
Whoo! Run!
440
00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:54,571
-[all] Chester! Chester!
-[Maggie] You can do it!
441
00:19:54,654 --> 00:19:56,781
You got it, Chester. You got it!
442
00:19:56,865 --> 00:19:58,241
-[electrical crackling]
-[screams]
443
00:19:58,324 --> 00:19:59,617
-[Reggie gasps]
-[Maggie] Whoo!
444
00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:01,035
Goddamn!
445
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:03,746
It's real! The magic fence is real!
446
00:20:03,830 --> 00:20:06,666
♪ Big dog status, big dog baggage ♪
447
00:20:06,749 --> 00:20:09,586
♪ Big dog, fuck it
I got big dog habits ♪
448
00:20:09,669 --> 00:20:12,505
♪ See, I'm going hard in the paint
Doing damage ♪
449
00:20:12,589 --> 00:20:15,967
♪ Big dog tell me do it
Look like I'm average… ♪
450
00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,720
Oh, yeah. You gonna get it.
451
00:20:18,803 --> 00:20:20,513
Somebody been naughty. You a naughty--
452
00:20:20,597 --> 00:20:22,807
You a little naughty owl. [hooting]
453
00:20:22,891 --> 00:20:25,768
You're right, Bug. I like this humping.
454
00:20:26,561 --> 00:20:28,104
Bug, can I try your owl?
455
00:20:28,188 --> 00:20:30,690
I told you scraps night
was gonna be off the chain, baby.
456
00:20:30,773 --> 00:20:31,941
[Reggie] I'm having a great time.
457
00:20:32,025 --> 00:20:33,067
Ain't this about a bitch.
458
00:20:33,151 --> 00:20:34,736
Look at this motherfucker right here.
459
00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:36,321
What you want, huh, homie?
460
00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:38,781
-I'll rip your motherfucking nuts off.
-Come on, let's go.
461
00:20:38,865 --> 00:20:40,992
-Pointy-eared motherfucker.
-Come on, it's not worth it.
462
00:20:41,075 --> 00:20:42,744
-[Hunter] There you go, Reg.
-I'm doing good?
463
00:20:42,827 --> 00:20:44,746
Give it to that gnome, Reg.
464
00:20:44,829 --> 00:20:46,664
Tell that gnome you're his daddy.
465
00:20:46,748 --> 00:20:48,750
Hey, gnome. I'm your father.
466
00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:50,502
-It's good to finally meet you.
-[Maggie] Reggie.
467
00:20:50,585 --> 00:20:52,045
Even under
these strange circumstances.
468
00:20:52,128 --> 00:20:53,254
[Hunter] No, Reggie.
469
00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:54,422
Oh, you can't get me!
470
00:20:54,506 --> 00:20:57,133
Aha, ah-- I'm too fast for you.
I'm too fast for you.
471
00:20:57,217 --> 00:20:59,511
-This motherfucker is keeping up.
-Come on, let's go.
472
00:20:59,594 --> 00:21:01,638
With your little bitch-ass friend
with a home perm and shit.
473
00:21:01,721 --> 00:21:03,056
-What did you say?
-There you go, Reg.
474
00:21:03,139 --> 00:21:05,183
-Don't you look at me like that.
-Get up in his ass.
475
00:21:05,266 --> 00:21:07,060
I would hate for this to get violent.
476
00:21:07,143 --> 00:21:08,311
I didn't know I had a son.
477
00:21:08,394 --> 00:21:10,313
-And he's a gnome of all things.
-[Maggie] Reggie!
478
00:21:10,396 --> 00:21:12,065
-Fuck, shut up!
-Anyone want to hump my son?
479
00:21:12,148 --> 00:21:13,233
Man, come on. It's too much.
480
00:21:13,316 --> 00:21:14,692
He's handsomely dressed
in a smart tunic.
481
00:21:14,776 --> 00:21:17,362
Yo, Chester. You got balls, baby.
482
00:21:17,445 --> 00:21:18,988
That magic fence was legit.
483
00:21:19,072 --> 00:21:20,615
I kept telling you!
484
00:21:20,698 --> 00:21:23,243
What a weird thing a magic fence would be
to make up.
485
00:21:23,326 --> 00:21:24,827
I can do anything.
486
00:21:24,911 --> 00:21:27,163
-[Maggie] Reggie, don't.
-[Hunter] Wait, what's going on?
487
00:21:27,247 --> 00:21:28,748
-No. Don't do it!
-[Hunter] Reggie, no.
488
00:21:28,831 --> 00:21:30,834
I can do anything.
489
00:21:30,917 --> 00:21:33,670
Do not test the dark arts, kid.
490
00:21:33,753 --> 00:21:36,756
["Get Wild" continues playing]
491
00:21:44,556 --> 00:21:45,807
♪ Get wild ♪
492
00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:47,934
-Oh, shoot!
-That was fucking amazing!
493
00:21:48,017 --> 00:21:49,394
-Incredible!
-Holy shit!
494
00:21:49,477 --> 00:21:51,521
-Yeah!
-Impossible. That's impossible!
495
00:21:51,604 --> 00:21:53,314
-[Hunter] Reggie! [laughs]
-I did it! I did it!
496
00:21:53,398 --> 00:21:56,276
-[laughter]
-[Hunter] Oh, what a night.
497
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:57,360
[Bug] Yeah.
498
00:21:57,443 --> 00:22:02,156
Reg, I could tell the moment
I sniffed your anus, you're a great guy.
499
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,868
-You're a legend.
-Yeah, baby, I told you.
500
00:22:04,951 --> 00:22:06,870
Stray's life is the best life!
501
00:22:06,953 --> 00:22:10,206
Yeah, you gotta admit,
it's fun to be off-leash for a bit, right?
502
00:22:10,290 --> 00:22:12,125
-[Maggie] Right?
-Yeah, it is kinda awesome
503
00:22:12,208 --> 00:22:15,503
not having to hold my pee for ten hours
until Doug lets me outside.
504
00:22:15,587 --> 00:22:16,963
[laughter]
505
00:22:17,046 --> 00:22:19,465
And I like the sound of "legend"
a lot more than "shitbag."
506
00:22:19,549 --> 00:22:21,009
[Hunter] Guys, I'm still peeing.
507
00:22:21,092 --> 00:22:23,261
Wait, is that really
what he called you?
508
00:22:23,344 --> 00:22:26,723
I really don't miss roasting in the car
when he stops at a store,
509
00:22:26,806 --> 00:22:30,435
and he leaves me with the windows cracked
barely enough for me to stay conscious.
510
00:22:30,518 --> 00:22:33,396
-[Maggie] Wait, what?
-And I'm just panting, gasping for air
511
00:22:33,479 --> 00:22:37,525
and trying to survive
until he comes back in 45 minutes.
512
00:22:38,234 --> 00:22:40,195
Classic Doug. Too funny.
513
00:22:40,278 --> 00:22:41,779
[chuckles, sighs]
514
00:22:41,863 --> 00:22:45,825
So, this guy neglects you,
throws you on the street,
515
00:22:45,909 --> 00:22:48,077
and you still think he's a good guy?
516
00:22:48,161 --> 00:22:50,538
Yeah. I mean,
if Doug doesn't like me,
517
00:22:50,622 --> 00:22:52,957
why does he let me eat
his leftover human food?
518
00:22:53,041 --> 00:22:55,251
So he doesn't have to buy dog food.
519
00:22:55,335 --> 00:22:57,337
And why didn't he put
a collar and tags on you?
520
00:22:57,420 --> 00:23:00,173
Because he doesn't believe in labels.
521
00:23:00,256 --> 00:23:01,299
Ah, come on, Reg.
522
00:23:01,382 --> 00:23:04,469
And the bandana he gave me
is way more special than a collar,
523
00:23:04,552 --> 00:23:07,180
'cause he used it for his penis sneezes.
524
00:23:07,263 --> 00:23:08,223
-Ew.
-Ew.
525
00:23:08,306 --> 00:23:09,641
Doug loves me.
526
00:23:09,724 --> 00:23:11,476
We have a good relationship.
527
00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:13,561
You just don't understand the situation,
528
00:23:13,645 --> 00:23:16,064
because if Doug's such a bad guy,
529
00:23:16,147 --> 00:23:20,735
and he left me on purpose,
and he hurt me on purpose,
530
00:23:21,486 --> 00:23:22,487
that would mean…
531
00:23:23,404 --> 00:23:24,405
that would mean…
532
00:23:25,532 --> 00:23:26,783
Doug doesn't love me.
533
00:23:31,829 --> 00:23:34,332
Can you guys
just give me a second?
534
00:23:41,673 --> 00:23:43,258
[sighs] Poor little guy.
535
00:23:43,341 --> 00:23:45,885
That is just the classic
toxic relationship.
536
00:23:45,969 --> 00:23:48,388
I should probably talk to him.
I am a therapy dog.
537
00:23:48,471 --> 00:23:50,139
Nah, give him some space.
538
00:23:50,223 --> 00:23:51,474
Kid's been through a lot.
539
00:23:53,268 --> 00:23:56,020
[Doug, echoing] That's what
you fucking sound like, you piece of shit.
540
00:23:56,104 --> 00:23:58,273
-[imitates barking]
-[barking]
541
00:23:59,107 --> 00:24:00,733
Oh, get off! Get-- Bad dog!
542
00:24:00,817 --> 00:24:02,652
Bad dog! Bad dog!
543
00:24:02,735 --> 00:24:05,280
Worst dog in the fucking world.
544
00:24:14,330 --> 00:24:15,623
Hey, Reggie.
545
00:24:15,707 --> 00:24:18,001
I know you're feeling hurt right now,
and it's--
546
00:24:18,084 --> 00:24:20,545
Ugh. It must be so hard
to figure out what to do.
547
00:24:20,628 --> 00:24:21,754
I'm going back to Doug's.
548
00:24:21,838 --> 00:24:23,298
-What?
-The fuck, man?
549
00:24:23,381 --> 00:24:27,218
What's it gonna take for you to understand
that he's not playing a game with you?
550
00:24:27,302 --> 00:24:29,721
And I'm not playing a game with him.
551
00:24:29,804 --> 00:24:31,431
Okay.
552
00:24:31,514 --> 00:24:34,684
All my life,
I felt like I wasn't worth anything
553
00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:38,396
unless I heard those words,
"Good boy."
554
00:24:38,479 --> 00:24:40,148
But they never came.
555
00:24:40,732 --> 00:24:43,276
Well, he needs to know he's hurt me.
556
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:44,777
He needs to feel my pain.
557
00:24:45,361 --> 00:24:48,990
And he needs to pay for what he did
with the only thing he truly loves!
558
00:24:49,991 --> 00:24:52,285
I'm gonna bite his dick off.
559
00:24:52,368 --> 00:24:54,120
-Oh.
-Wait, did he just say bite?
560
00:24:54,204 --> 00:24:56,915
Yeah, I'm still a little drunk,
but did I just hear you say that you--
561
00:24:56,998 --> 00:25:00,919
I said I'm gonna bite his dick off!
562
00:25:01,711 --> 00:25:03,379
Oh, I'm a hundred percent in for this.
563
00:25:03,463 --> 00:25:04,923
-[Hunter] No, no.
-[Maggie] Bug. Wait.
564
00:25:05,006 --> 00:25:06,007
Wait, Reggie, please.
565
00:25:06,090 --> 00:25:08,718
I feel you, I really do,
but this is insane.
566
00:25:08,801 --> 00:25:11,763
Yeah, like, maybe there's
a metaphorical dick you could bite off,
567
00:25:11,846 --> 00:25:15,266
like you could pretend my dick is his dick
and you could give it a stern talking to.
568
00:25:15,350 --> 00:25:17,894
No, his dick. No exceptions.
569
00:25:17,977 --> 00:25:19,938
Playing with that thing
was his favorite activity
570
00:25:20,021 --> 00:25:21,773
until he started putting things in boxes.
571
00:25:21,856 --> 00:25:23,816
-[Maggie] Boxes?
-Oh, shit, that means he's moving soon.
572
00:25:23,900 --> 00:25:25,068
-Moving?
-[Hunter] Oh, man.
573
00:25:25,151 --> 00:25:26,569
-What if we're too late?
-Calm down.
574
00:25:26,653 --> 00:25:27,987
We definitely
don't have much time.
575
00:25:28,071 --> 00:25:31,366
Any places, smells, landmarks
you remember on the road to get here?
576
00:25:31,449 --> 00:25:35,578
Uh… I just-- I remember passing
an enormous hamster wheel.
577
00:25:35,662 --> 00:25:36,996
Okay, hamster wheel.
578
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,123
A giant cone that looked like Hunter's.
579
00:25:39,207 --> 00:25:40,583
[Bug] Giant cone,
looked like Hunter's.
580
00:25:40,667 --> 00:25:42,627
And-- And the devil in the sky.
581
00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:44,087
And the devil in the sky. Boom!
582
00:25:44,170 --> 00:25:47,757
That's basically a road map
right to this guy's custard launcher.
583
00:25:47,841 --> 00:25:49,634
Bug, there's no way. It's impossible.
584
00:25:49,717 --> 00:25:50,885
No, no, no, not quite.
585
00:25:50,969 --> 00:25:53,888
Reggie's got no shot
at making it back in time on his own.
586
00:25:53,972 --> 00:25:57,934
But if we all go, I got the street smarts,
you've got the muscle,
587
00:25:58,017 --> 00:26:01,688
and Maggie's got a sense of smell so good
she can sniff one asshole
588
00:26:01,771 --> 00:26:04,399
and tell you what the guy ate
three breakfasts ago.
589
00:26:04,482 --> 00:26:06,025
-[sniffs] Bunch of nickels.
-Exactly.
590
00:26:06,109 --> 00:26:09,028
-She's incredible.
-Guys, we can do this.
591
00:26:09,112 --> 00:26:10,905
-No, there is no way…
-I'm in.
592
00:26:10,989 --> 00:26:13,491
…I am missing this. Let's do it!
593
00:26:13,575 --> 00:26:14,742
Really?
594
00:26:14,826 --> 00:26:16,870
-You guys would do this for me?
-Hell yeah.
595
00:26:16,953 --> 00:26:18,413
-We got your back, Reg.
-[Maggie] Yeah!
596
00:26:18,496 --> 00:26:21,749
All right, guys. Let's show these humans
they can't toss us aside
597
00:26:21,833 --> 00:26:25,170
without facing
some bad fucking consequences.
598
00:26:25,253 --> 00:26:27,797
Fellas, lady,
599
00:26:27,881 --> 00:26:29,299
let's go get some dick!
600
00:26:29,382 --> 00:26:31,342
[howling]
601
00:26:31,426 --> 00:26:33,094
Howling!
602
00:26:33,178 --> 00:26:34,387
Howl!
603
00:26:34,470 --> 00:26:35,930
-Howling!
-[others howling]
604
00:26:36,514 --> 00:26:38,892
[clears throat]
I'm just not a great howler.
605
00:26:39,642 --> 00:26:41,853
["Check Yo Self" playing]
606
00:26:41,936 --> 00:26:44,189
♪ Yeah, word is bond ♪
607
00:26:44,272 --> 00:26:46,399
♪ Das EFX in this
You know what I'm sayin'? ♪
608
00:26:46,482 --> 00:26:49,152
♪ Straight from the sewer
Word is bond, yeah ♪
609
00:26:49,235 --> 00:26:51,196
♪ Check yo' self
before you wreck yo' self ♪
610
00:26:51,279 --> 00:26:53,740
{\an8}♪ 'Cause I'm bad for your health
I come real stealth ♪
611
00:26:53,823 --> 00:26:55,992
{\an8}♪ Dropping bombs on your moms
Fuck car alarms ♪
612
00:26:56,075 --> 00:26:58,411
♪ Doing foul crime
I'm that brotha wit' yo' Alpine ♪
613
00:26:58,494 --> 00:27:00,997
♪ Sold it for a six-o
Always let tricks know ♪
614
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,208
♪ And friends know we got the indo ♪
615
00:27:03,291 --> 00:27:06,211
♪ No, I'm not a sucker
Sitting in a House of Pain ♪
616
00:27:06,294 --> 00:27:08,254
♪ And no, I'm not the butler
I'll cut ya ♪
617
00:27:08,338 --> 00:27:10,507
♪ This ain't no fucking motion picture ♪
618
00:27:10,590 --> 00:27:13,468
♪ A guy or bitch-a
I'll get wit' cha and hit ya ♪
619
00:27:13,551 --> 00:27:16,971
♪ Taking that yak to the neck
So you better run a check ♪
620
00:27:17,055 --> 00:27:18,640
{\an8}♪ So come on
and chickity-check yo' self ♪
621
00:27:18,723 --> 00:27:21,309
{\an8}♪ Before you wreck yo' self
Chickity-check yo' self ♪
622
00:27:21,392 --> 00:27:22,852
♪ Before you wreck yo' self, boy ♪
623
00:27:22,936 --> 00:27:24,854
♪ Check yo' self
before you wreck yo' self ♪
624
00:27:24,938 --> 00:27:27,232
♪ 'Cause shotgun bullets
Are bad for your health… ♪
625
00:27:27,315 --> 00:27:28,775
-[howling]
-[Hunter] Howling!
626
00:27:28,858 --> 00:27:30,652
Howling!
627
00:27:30,735 --> 00:27:31,736
♪ Check it ♪
628
00:27:31,819 --> 00:27:34,197
[retching, groaning]
629
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,659
Why did nobody tell us that dog journeys
are so fucking exhausting?
630
00:27:37,742 --> 00:27:39,494
-Yeah.
-Oh, this is brutal.
631
00:27:39,577 --> 00:27:41,496
[Hunter] I was still drunk
when I agreed to do this.
632
00:27:41,579 --> 00:27:42,580
[Maggie] Yeah, I'm hangry.
633
00:27:42,664 --> 00:27:43,748
[Hunter] Yeah, I'm starving.
634
00:27:43,831 --> 00:27:46,334
I just threw up over there,
so there might be something in there
635
00:27:46,417 --> 00:27:48,503
if you wanna give it a-- Okay.
636
00:27:48,586 --> 00:27:50,505
I bet that's some of the pizza
from last night.
637
00:27:50,588 --> 00:27:52,257
[Bug] Oh, yeah,
lots of good shit in there.
638
00:27:52,340 --> 00:27:53,716
Oh, there's those nickels. [chuckles]
639
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,511
Guys, we gotta keep moving.
You can't miss this thing.
640
00:27:56,594 --> 00:27:59,347
It's like a giant hamster wheel,
but without the hamster.
641
00:27:59,430 --> 00:28:00,890
And it smells like hot dogs.
642
00:28:00,974 --> 00:28:02,767
Smells like hot dogs? [sniffing]
643
00:28:02,851 --> 00:28:04,269
This is her superpower.
644
00:28:04,352 --> 00:28:06,229
She's unbelievable. Look at that nose.
645
00:28:06,312 --> 00:28:08,398
-[Reggie] You got something?
-Wait a minute.
646
00:28:08,481 --> 00:28:09,941
Wait, d-do you smell that?
647
00:28:10,024 --> 00:28:12,110
-I just smell plastic.
-[sniffing] Oh, yeah.
648
00:28:12,193 --> 00:28:14,195
Oh. Yeah, I've got it. [sniffing]
649
00:28:14,279 --> 00:28:16,197
[Reggie] She's walking away.
Should we follow her?
650
00:28:17,073 --> 00:28:18,199
I'm gonna follow her.
651
00:28:19,742 --> 00:28:20,577
[Bug] No, no, no, no, no.
652
00:28:20,660 --> 00:28:23,121
A sausage is the one that looks like shit,
but it don't taste like shit.
653
00:28:23,204 --> 00:28:24,747
[Reggie] Okay, but then what is a hot dog?
654
00:28:24,831 --> 00:28:25,832
Guys. Shh. Drop it.
655
00:28:25,915 --> 00:28:28,710
-Look. What the fuck is this?
-That's it, the giant hamster wheel!
656
00:28:28,793 --> 00:28:30,670
-We're on the right track!
-[Bug] All right, guys.
657
00:28:30,753 --> 00:28:32,213
We're on a time crunch,
658
00:28:32,297 --> 00:28:34,924
but Hunter's gonna die
if we don't get some food in him, okay?
659
00:28:35,008 --> 00:28:36,509
-Maggie, you hang with Hunter.
-Gotcha.
660
00:28:36,593 --> 00:28:38,344
-[Hunter] Good plan.
-Reg, you know what time it is?
661
00:28:38,428 --> 00:28:40,263
-It's grub time.
-It's gr-- Yeah, grub time.
662
00:28:40,346 --> 00:28:41,764
-Let's get some grub.
-Let's get some grub.
663
00:28:43,683 --> 00:28:45,894
-[Maggie] This fucking place is weird.
-[Hunter] So weird.
664
00:28:45,977 --> 00:28:47,687
[Bug] I never really
can understand humans, man.
665
00:28:47,770 --> 00:28:51,065
Especially, like, the lighter shade ones.
They some strange motherfuckers.
666
00:28:51,149 --> 00:28:52,650
[Reggie] I was thinking the same thing.
667
00:28:53,193 --> 00:28:55,361
-[barks]
-Hey.
668
00:28:57,405 --> 00:29:00,116
Um… [chuckles]
Your dog messed up my shot.
669
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:01,034
[dog barks]
670
00:29:01,117 --> 00:29:03,995
I think he's telling me
I should pay for you to take another one.
671
00:29:04,829 --> 00:29:05,830
Oh, is that right?
672
00:29:05,914 --> 00:29:08,208
Yeah, that's what he was saying.
I promise.
673
00:29:08,291 --> 00:29:09,334
[laughs]
674
00:29:09,417 --> 00:29:12,670
I wouldn't-- I wouldn't make it up,
but he's got good ideas.
675
00:29:12,754 --> 00:29:15,632
[Labrador] I could tell James
felt different about this human girl.
676
00:29:16,257 --> 00:29:19,010
Maybe it was because
she smelled like biscuits.
677
00:29:19,093 --> 00:29:21,513
Or maybe it was because
something about her was special.
678
00:29:21,596 --> 00:29:24,724
Excuse me, do you know where
we can get some food around here?
679
00:29:26,935 --> 00:29:30,813
[Labrador] As I was saying,
James thought he was helping this girl.
680
00:29:30,897 --> 00:29:33,942
But the truth is, she was helping him.
681
00:29:34,025 --> 00:29:35,443
Oh, fuck this bullshit.
682
00:29:35,527 --> 00:29:36,611
Wait, what is he doing?
683
00:29:36,694 --> 00:29:39,364
I've seen this shit before.
He's one of those narrator dogs.
684
00:29:39,447 --> 00:29:43,701
Hey! No one's listening to your lame
human story, you fucking dumbass!
685
00:29:47,288 --> 00:29:49,541
[Labrador]
Sadly, the little dog was right.
686
00:29:49,624 --> 00:29:52,377
No one was listening to my story.
687
00:29:52,460 --> 00:29:55,255
Which is too bad,
because I'm the only one who knows
688
00:29:55,338 --> 00:29:58,049
James is a cold-blooded serial killer.
689
00:29:58,132 --> 00:30:01,761
He's got three bodies buried
in the backyard already.
690
00:30:01,845 --> 00:30:04,138
But I guess no one's interested.
691
00:30:04,222 --> 00:30:05,473
I can't believe that dog.
692
00:30:05,557 --> 00:30:08,142
He was so obsessed with his owner,
he didn't even acknowledge us.
693
00:30:08,226 --> 00:30:10,353
I'm gonna tell ya, kid,
the moment they leash you up,
694
00:30:10,436 --> 00:30:12,897
snip your balls,
is the moment they got you by them.
695
00:30:12,981 --> 00:30:16,025
-Hold on. They snip your balls?
-Oh, yeah.
696
00:30:16,109 --> 00:30:19,112
And I think they're collecting those too,
to put in the chocolate.
697
00:30:19,195 --> 00:30:21,239
-[vendor] Get your hot dogs here!
-Oh, shit! Look!
698
00:30:21,322 --> 00:30:22,323
[vendor] I got jumbo dogs!
699
00:30:22,407 --> 00:30:24,242
Okay, here's the plan.
You grab the sausages,
700
00:30:24,325 --> 00:30:26,870
and I'll go over there
and fuck the guy's leg as a distraction.
701
00:30:26,953 --> 00:30:28,162
And break!
702
00:30:28,705 --> 00:30:32,166
I don't think fucking the guy's leg
is necessary,
703
00:30:32,250 --> 00:30:34,335
but I see you've already started.
All right.
704
00:30:34,419 --> 00:30:36,004
-[bell dinging]
-Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme.
705
00:30:36,087 --> 00:30:38,339
-Bunny! [squealing]
-[friend] You won! [laughs]
706
00:30:38,423 --> 00:30:40,049
I can't believe I won!
707
00:30:40,133 --> 00:30:41,843
[Maggie] Oh, look at that toy bunny.
708
00:30:41,926 --> 00:30:45,638
You know, it hasn't even been a day yet,
but I really miss toys.
709
00:30:45,722 --> 00:30:47,056
Jenna had some good ones.
710
00:30:47,140 --> 00:30:50,935
I'd rip that shit apart until I found
that squeaky toy in the middle.
711
00:30:51,019 --> 00:30:52,854
[Hunter] Ugh.
I miss squeaky toys too.
712
00:30:52,937 --> 00:30:55,106
But of course, I only got to play
with those squeak toys
713
00:30:55,190 --> 00:30:56,191
if I was a good girl,
714
00:30:56,274 --> 00:30:59,235
and I smiled the right way
for her stupid freaking selfies.
715
00:30:59,319 --> 00:31:02,113
The amount of work
that goes into looking cute.
716
00:31:02,197 --> 00:31:04,866
Honestly, I had to go to spin around
in a perfect circle like this,
717
00:31:04,949 --> 00:31:07,744
move into a "I'm so fuckable" pose
with my paws crossed.
718
00:31:07,827 --> 00:31:09,913
And I'd have to stand up straight,
paws up.
719
00:31:09,996 --> 00:31:11,873
I have to show all my tits.
720
00:31:11,956 --> 00:31:14,334
Yeah. [chuckles] Right, that--
yeah, that's pretty fuckable.
721
00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:17,003
I mean, uh, that-that--
that's-- that's weird.
722
00:31:17,086 --> 00:31:18,796
Wait, uh, there they are.
723
00:31:19,506 --> 00:31:22,008
[clears throat] You know, Maggie,
there's, um…
724
00:31:22,091 --> 00:31:25,386
There's so much more
to like about you than just your looks.
725
00:31:25,470 --> 00:31:26,721
You think so?
726
00:31:26,804 --> 00:31:30,808
Sure. I mean, you are hands down
the best sniffer I've ever met.
727
00:31:30,892 --> 00:31:31,893
Huh.
728
00:31:31,976 --> 00:31:33,937
But you're also smart,
and you can jump high,
729
00:31:34,020 --> 00:31:36,147
and you know like nine human words.
730
00:31:36,231 --> 00:31:37,232
That's insane.
731
00:31:37,315 --> 00:31:39,817
I actually know 31.
But thank you.
732
00:31:39,901 --> 00:31:42,070
Honestly, I'd have to list
about 20 more things
733
00:31:42,153 --> 00:31:45,156
before I even got to anything to do
with how beautiful you are.
734
00:31:47,367 --> 00:31:50,662
Um… I'm sorry,
that was too much.
735
00:31:50,745 --> 00:31:53,456
No, that-- that means a lot to me.
736
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,584
You know,
you're a really good listener.
737
00:31:56,668 --> 00:32:00,213
Oh, that's because all the sound funnels
through the cone right to my ears.
738
00:32:00,296 --> 00:32:02,340
[chuckles] No, I didn't-- Never mind.
739
00:32:02,423 --> 00:32:03,466
Wait, wait, what?
740
00:32:03,550 --> 00:32:05,260
Have you ever thought about--
741
00:32:05,343 --> 00:32:07,720
about taking the cone off
for a little while?
742
00:32:07,804 --> 00:32:09,597
Just to-- Just to see?
743
00:32:09,681 --> 00:32:12,350
-No.
-I bet you'd look really handsome.
744
00:32:12,433 --> 00:32:13,434
[chuckles]
745
00:32:13,518 --> 00:32:14,811
Really?
746
00:32:15,603 --> 00:32:16,604
Yeah.
747
00:32:16,688 --> 00:32:17,689
[Bug, Reggie laughing]
748
00:32:17,772 --> 00:32:20,191
-[Bug] That's how you do it, Reg, baby.
-[Reggie] That was awesome!
749
00:32:20,275 --> 00:32:22,277
Oh, wait a minute, okay.
What's this vibe?
750
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,279
-[stammering] No.
-What? Oh, nothing. Nothing.
751
00:32:24,362 --> 00:32:25,822
-What vibe? There is no vibe.
-What vibe?
752
00:32:25,905 --> 00:32:28,408
Your boner implies that there's a vibe.
753
00:32:28,491 --> 00:32:31,494
Oh, you know,
that's because our friendship…
754
00:32:31,578 --> 00:32:32,996
[chuckles] …got me erect.
755
00:32:33,079 --> 00:32:34,706
Yeah, it was a friend boner.
756
00:32:34,789 --> 00:32:36,666
Then why don't you get boners for us?
757
00:32:36,749 --> 00:32:39,085
I mean, uh…
[chuckles] …are we not your friends?
758
00:32:39,169 --> 00:32:41,754
What? No, no.
You guys get me hard all the time.
759
00:32:42,589 --> 00:32:45,258
Hunter, that's about the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.
760
00:32:45,341 --> 00:32:47,844
Speaking of boners,
how about some sausages?
761
00:32:47,927 --> 00:32:49,053
We took 'em from a human.
762
00:32:49,637 --> 00:32:52,015
You stole these from a human?
What if someone saw?
763
00:32:52,098 --> 00:32:54,434
Relax. Grow back some testicles.
764
00:32:54,517 --> 00:32:56,144
-Ain't nobody saw.
-[fireworks exploding]
765
00:32:56,227 --> 00:32:58,229
[Hunter, Maggie gasping, yelping]
766
00:32:58,313 --> 00:32:59,647
God saw!
767
00:32:59,731 --> 00:33:01,524
God sees everything!
768
00:33:01,608 --> 00:33:03,401
-Run!
-[Maggie screams]
769
00:33:03,484 --> 00:33:05,570
{\an8}-[Bug] We're under attack!
-[Maggie] Save yourselves!
770
00:33:05,653 --> 00:33:06,738
{\an8}[Hunter] We gotta find cover!
771
00:33:06,821 --> 00:33:09,199
{\an8}[Bug]
The whole fucking place is gonna blow!
772
00:33:09,282 --> 00:33:11,993
{\an8}-Move! Move!
-[Hunter] Oh, God!
773
00:33:12,076 --> 00:33:13,995
-[Reggie] We're all gonna die!
-[bell clangs]
774
00:33:14,078 --> 00:33:15,705
Mama!
775
00:33:15,788 --> 00:33:17,665
-[fireworks popping quietly]
-Wow.
776
00:33:17,749 --> 00:33:19,167
[carnival music playing]
777
00:33:19,250 --> 00:33:20,710
-[fireworks exploding]
-[Maggie] Stay low!
778
00:33:20,793 --> 00:33:23,588
-[Reggie] They've got us surrounded!
-[Bug] Go, go, go!
779
00:33:23,671 --> 00:33:26,049
-[Hunter] They're coming after us!
-[Maggie] This way, hurry!
780
00:33:26,132 --> 00:33:27,842
[Hunter] It's so loud inside the cone!
781
00:33:30,428 --> 00:33:31,721
-[Bug] Oh, shit!
-[Reggie] No!
782
00:33:31,804 --> 00:33:33,348
-Oh, no, no!
-[Bug] We gotta get over.
783
00:33:33,431 --> 00:33:35,266
[Reggie] Over here. We gotta dig!
784
00:33:35,350 --> 00:33:36,893
-We gotta dig!
-[Bug] Dig! Dig faster!
785
00:33:36,976 --> 00:33:38,561
[Reggie] Hunter! Maggie! Help us dig!
786
00:33:38,645 --> 00:33:40,897
-[Maggie] What? What's going on?
-[Bug] Come on, Maggie! Dig!
787
00:33:40,980 --> 00:33:42,315
You said you love digging!
788
00:33:42,398 --> 00:33:44,943
[Maggie] I lied! I hate digging!
789
00:33:45,026 --> 00:33:46,402
There we go. Okay, let's go!
790
00:33:46,486 --> 00:33:49,113
-I hate how the dirt feels under my nails!
-[Bug] Come on, let's go!
791
00:33:49,197 --> 00:33:52,200
Wait, wait! Guys! I'm stuck!
My bandana's stuck!
792
00:33:53,076 --> 00:33:54,077
Ah!
793
00:33:54,869 --> 00:33:56,454
-Oh, no!
-Reggie!
794
00:33:56,538 --> 00:33:58,498
-[Maggie] Reggie, no!
-Reggie! Come on, buddy!
795
00:33:58,581 --> 00:33:59,666
Maggie, Hunter, help me out.
796
00:33:59,749 --> 00:34:01,209
No, no, no. Get out of here.
797
00:34:01,292 --> 00:34:02,418
I-It's too late for me.
798
00:34:02,502 --> 00:34:04,128
Listen to me! It's not too late.
799
00:34:04,212 --> 00:34:05,922
No. Save yourself.
800
00:34:06,005 --> 00:34:08,675
And tell Doug
I wanted to bite his dick off.
801
00:34:09,467 --> 00:34:11,511
Bite it for me, if you can.
802
00:34:11,594 --> 00:34:13,638
Look at me. You're gonna live.
803
00:34:13,721 --> 00:34:16,891
And you're gonna bite that dick yourself.
804
00:34:18,101 --> 00:34:19,561
Hunter, the fence!
805
00:34:19,643 --> 00:34:21,103
[grunting, growling]
806
00:34:21,187 --> 00:34:22,480
Here, check this out.
807
00:34:22,563 --> 00:34:24,649
[Bug grunting] Come on!
808
00:34:24,732 --> 00:34:26,860
Holy shit, they have a bomb!
809
00:34:28,027 --> 00:34:30,905
-Come on, Reggie!
-Come on! Come on, Reg!
810
00:34:32,739 --> 00:34:34,117
[grunting]
811
00:34:34,199 --> 00:34:36,911
-[Reggie] Almost free! I'm almost free!
-[Hunter] Come on, Reggie!
812
00:34:36,995 --> 00:34:38,371
-[Reggie] Ah!
-[Bug] Come on, let's go!
813
00:34:39,873 --> 00:34:41,875
-[Bug] Move, move!
-[Maggie] Come on, guys, let's go!
814
00:34:44,627 --> 00:34:45,628
[sighs]
815
00:34:46,754 --> 00:34:48,339
Oh, well. Uh…
816
00:34:49,465 --> 00:34:50,632
You guys wanna kiss a little?
817
00:34:50,717 --> 00:34:51,885
[all panting]
818
00:34:51,967 --> 00:34:53,969
Oh, my God! Holy shit!
819
00:34:54,053 --> 00:34:55,722
Guys, that was crazy!
820
00:34:55,804 --> 00:34:57,765
I feel like now I need
an emotional support dog.
821
00:34:57,849 --> 00:35:00,810
Bug… [laughs] …you looked like
you were gonna shit yourself.
822
00:35:00,894 --> 00:35:02,896
I did! I literally did that.
823
00:35:02,979 --> 00:35:04,480
-Oh, God!
-[Hunter] He did. I stepped in it.
824
00:35:04,564 --> 00:35:05,565
[all panting]
825
00:35:05,648 --> 00:35:09,319
-Reg, you okay?
-It's nothing. It's just--
826
00:35:09,819 --> 00:35:11,571
You guys risked your life for me.
827
00:35:11,654 --> 00:35:15,074
Bug, you saved me.
I never thought anyone would do that.
828
00:35:15,158 --> 00:35:16,659
-Of course we would.
-[Hunter chuckles]
829
00:35:16,743 --> 00:35:19,204
Come on!
You're part of the pack, Reggie.
830
00:35:19,287 --> 00:35:20,830
-We stick together.
-[Hunter] That's right.
831
00:35:20,914 --> 00:35:22,624
I've never been part of a pack before.
832
00:35:22,707 --> 00:35:25,168
-Well, you are now.
-I didn't even know that was a thing.
833
00:35:25,251 --> 00:35:26,294
[laughter]
834
00:35:26,377 --> 00:35:28,129
-We'll make it a thing.
-[Maggie] Yeah.
835
00:35:28,213 --> 00:35:30,924
So, I kind of have a weird idea.
836
00:35:31,674 --> 00:35:33,468
Could-- Could we maybe…
837
00:35:34,427 --> 00:35:37,305
-[scoffs] …pee on each other?
-Say what now?
838
00:35:37,931 --> 00:35:40,934
Well, you said that when you pee
on something, that it's yours.
839
00:35:41,017 --> 00:35:43,895
I just thought that since we're all,
like, friends now, we could--
840
00:35:43,978 --> 00:35:46,981
Pee on each other,
so we belong to each other?
841
00:35:47,065 --> 00:35:48,107
Yeah.
842
00:35:48,191 --> 00:35:50,276
[scoffs] It was a stupid idea.
843
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:53,655
Jenna would be so mad
if I came home covered in urine.
844
00:35:55,281 --> 00:35:56,533
Let's fucking do it.
845
00:35:56,616 --> 00:35:58,743
Oh. We're doing it. Okay.
Why don't we do, like, a circle…
846
00:35:58,826 --> 00:36:01,162
-Yeah. Let's lift our left leg.
-Get to the starboard side.
847
00:36:01,246 --> 00:36:03,665
-Yeah, we'll lift our left leg.
-[Bug] There we go. Left leg is good.
848
00:36:03,748 --> 00:36:06,084
-[Maggie] Good, I get to pee on Bug.
-[Bug] Left leg is good.
849
00:36:06,167 --> 00:36:08,086
[all sighing]
850
00:36:08,169 --> 00:36:10,255
-[Bug] Whoa.
-This isn't just warming my body,
851
00:36:10,338 --> 00:36:11,506
it's warming my heart.
852
00:36:11,589 --> 00:36:12,799
-[Reggie] Aw.
-[Bug] Wow.
853
00:36:12,882 --> 00:36:14,759
I guess this makes us family now.
854
00:36:14,843 --> 00:36:16,803
-Yeah, we're BFFs.
-[Hunter] Yeah.
855
00:36:16,886 --> 00:36:19,514
-[Maggie chuckles]
-Even better, we're Pee-FFs.
856
00:36:19,597 --> 00:36:21,516
Pee-FFs! [laughs] I love it.
857
00:36:21,599 --> 00:36:24,018
-Yeah. Love that.
-[Maggie] Oh, Bug!
858
00:36:24,102 --> 00:36:26,062
You look happy!
859
00:36:26,145 --> 00:36:28,064
What are you talking about, I look happy?
I'm just smiling
860
00:36:28,147 --> 00:36:29,899
because we're all sitting here
pissing on each other,
861
00:36:29,983 --> 00:36:32,443
so it just-- I cracked a smile.
It's not an emotional thing.
862
00:36:32,527 --> 00:36:34,028
-You love us!
-[Maggie] You love us!
863
00:36:34,112 --> 00:36:35,488
-Okay, that's it.
-[Hunter] That's right.
864
00:36:35,572 --> 00:36:36,948
-You do, Bug.
-That's my cue to go to bed.
865
00:36:37,031 --> 00:36:38,700
-[Hunter] Come on, Bug.
-[Bug] Look, listen.
866
00:36:38,783 --> 00:36:41,661
We got a lot of walking to do
and not much time to do it.
867
00:36:41,744 --> 00:36:42,871
Let's get some sleep.
868
00:36:43,371 --> 00:36:45,081
H-H-Ho-Hold on one second.
869
00:36:48,793 --> 00:36:50,879
-Go back the other way.
-Better the other way. Let me…
870
00:36:50,962 --> 00:36:52,547
[Reggie]
Have you tried sniffing the ground?
871
00:36:52,630 --> 00:36:54,090
Fucked that one up. [groans]
872
00:36:54,174 --> 00:36:55,175
You gotta reset yourself.
873
00:36:55,258 --> 00:36:56,968
[Maggie] Go back 90 degrees.
You were so close.
874
00:36:57,051 --> 00:36:58,052
[Reggie] Now sit down.
875
00:36:58,136 --> 00:36:59,554
[Bug] That'll do. That'll do.
876
00:36:59,637 --> 00:37:01,431
[Hunter] All right, finally, good.
Time for bed.
877
00:37:01,514 --> 00:37:03,224
-[Maggie] Let's get some sleep.
-[Hunter] Okay.
878
00:37:03,308 --> 00:37:05,143
-[Hunter] And quick turn… It's time to go…
-[Maggie] Wait, hang on.
879
00:37:05,226 --> 00:37:07,687
[Reggie] One turn. Two turns. Three turns.
880
00:37:07,770 --> 00:37:09,272
Oh, God. Bug's really fucked with my head.
881
00:37:09,355 --> 00:37:11,816
-Turn. There, and that's it.
-[Maggie] Five, four,
882
00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:13,985
-three, two, one.
-[Hunter] Again. Okay. Now I'm ready.
883
00:37:14,068 --> 00:37:16,321
[Maggie] There. I did it. Easy.
884
00:37:16,404 --> 00:37:17,655
And get down.
885
00:37:19,199 --> 00:37:20,450
I'm getting much faster at that.
886
00:37:22,076 --> 00:37:23,578
-Good night, everyone.
-Good night, Reg.
887
00:37:23,661 --> 00:37:24,746
[Maggie] Good night, Reggie.
888
00:37:24,829 --> 00:37:26,539
Thanks again for letting me pee
on you guys.
889
00:37:26,623 --> 00:37:27,457
-[Bug] Reggie?
-Yeah?
890
00:37:27,540 --> 00:37:28,791
Could you stop fucking talking?
891
00:37:28,875 --> 00:37:30,335
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-[Bug] All right.
892
00:37:40,136 --> 00:37:43,389
[Reggie] Okay, guys. Big day today.
Next up is the giant cone.
893
00:37:43,473 --> 00:37:45,642
[Bug] I don't know what kind of cone
we're gonna find out here.
894
00:37:45,725 --> 00:37:48,144
[Reggie] It can't be too hard to find.
It's gigantic.
895
00:37:48,228 --> 00:37:50,021
[Bug] All I see is trees, but whatever.
896
00:37:50,104 --> 00:37:52,982
Hey, mate, have you thought
about how you're gonna do it?
897
00:37:53,066 --> 00:37:54,442
Uh, sorry, d-do what?
898
00:37:54,526 --> 00:37:56,236
-Bite Doug's dick off.
-Oh.
899
00:37:56,319 --> 00:37:58,738
Were you thinking lengthwise
or tip-to-shaft?
900
00:37:58,821 --> 00:37:59,948
Gosh, I don't know.
901
00:38:00,031 --> 00:38:02,450
You know, I've never bitten off
a dick before. [chuckles]
902
00:38:02,534 --> 00:38:04,577
I guess I'll let it just come to me
in the moment.
903
00:38:04,661 --> 00:38:06,329
So, at what point of this trip
904
00:38:06,412 --> 00:38:09,123
are you gonna build up a little BDE
and make a move, huh?
905
00:38:09,207 --> 00:38:10,542
-With Maggie?
-Yes, Maggie--
906
00:38:10,625 --> 00:38:13,127
No, with this mossy stump.
What the fuck you think I'm talking about?
907
00:38:13,211 --> 00:38:15,088
[laughs] No way.
She wouldn't go for me.
908
00:38:15,171 --> 00:38:17,465
I mean, maybe a door opens up
down the road,
909
00:38:17,549 --> 00:38:18,842
but for now, we're just friends.
910
00:38:18,925 --> 00:38:20,635
What are you talking about,
opening up doors?
911
00:38:20,718 --> 00:38:23,805
We don't have thumbs.
You gotta knock the fucking door down.
912
00:38:23,888 --> 00:38:26,432
Yeah, but who would want to date
a failed police dog
913
00:38:26,516 --> 00:38:28,393
who wears a cone 24/7?
914
00:38:28,476 --> 00:38:31,479
Aw, come on, dude.
Girls date losers all the time.
915
00:38:32,522 --> 00:38:35,900
You know, Reggie,
that you don't have to do it, right?
916
00:38:35,984 --> 00:38:38,027
What are you talking about?
Of course I do.
917
00:38:38,111 --> 00:38:41,114
I'm gonna get all over that dick.
Chomp, chomp, chomp. Mmm.
918
00:38:41,197 --> 00:38:44,158
Yeah, but you could just, you know,
move on from Doug,
919
00:38:44,242 --> 00:38:46,452
and then you wouldn't have to
do anything to him at all.
920
00:38:46,536 --> 00:38:47,912
You could always just let it go.
921
00:38:47,996 --> 00:38:49,664
I-I'm not-- [chuckles]
922
00:38:49,747 --> 00:38:51,958
No. Not just gonna let it go.
923
00:38:52,041 --> 00:38:55,003
All right, look, you failed doggy school
'cause you was a wuss,
924
00:38:55,086 --> 00:38:57,213
but there's nothing we can do
about your past.
925
00:38:57,297 --> 00:39:00,633
We might, however, be able
to get that thing off your head.
926
00:39:00,717 --> 00:39:02,343
This? No. No, you can't.
927
00:39:02,427 --> 00:39:04,846
Sure we can.
If we all pull together, we can--
928
00:39:04,929 --> 00:39:06,931
No, I mean, I need it.
929
00:39:07,015 --> 00:39:09,100
I keep it on intentionally.
930
00:39:09,184 --> 00:39:10,476
Wait, really?
931
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,353
I assumed it was, like, you know,
a medical thing.
932
00:39:12,437 --> 00:39:13,688
Oh, it is.
933
00:39:13,771 --> 00:39:15,190
I'll do anything to keep it on,
934
00:39:15,273 --> 00:39:17,775
and most self-inflicted injuries
will do the trick.
935
00:39:17,859 --> 00:39:20,737
You know, cat scratches,
ear infection from the toilet,
936
00:39:20,820 --> 00:39:24,616
lick my testicles for hours and hours
until the humans get concerned.
937
00:39:24,699 --> 00:39:27,202
But it's worth it.
I get anxious sometimes,
938
00:39:27,285 --> 00:39:29,871
and the cone helps me
block things out.
939
00:39:30,872 --> 00:39:32,290
What are you guys talking about?
940
00:39:32,373 --> 00:39:34,501
Oh, uh, nothing.
You know, same old, same old.
941
00:39:34,584 --> 00:39:37,086
I'm telling him he's got to
get that big dick energy.
942
00:39:37,170 --> 00:39:39,756
-Bug!
-Well, you've got the first part down.
943
00:39:39,839 --> 00:39:42,091
Thanks for complimenting my penis, Maggie.
944
00:39:42,175 --> 00:39:44,052
You know, your vagina's huge too.
945
00:39:44,135 --> 00:39:46,429
-Seriously?
-Shit. Why did I say that?
946
00:39:49,140 --> 00:39:50,892
-[Bug] Reg, let me ask you something.
-Yeah?
947
00:39:50,975 --> 00:39:53,144
How sure are you
that the big cone is this way?
948
00:39:53,228 --> 00:39:54,562
I don't know.
949
00:39:54,646 --> 00:39:58,316
On a scale of "sure" to "not sure,"
I'm pretty sure…
950
00:40:00,485 --> 00:40:02,320
that I'm not really sure.
That, I'm sure of.
951
00:40:02,403 --> 00:40:03,905
Holy shit! We're lost.
952
00:40:03,988 --> 00:40:05,323
-[Maggie] Great.
-I knew this would happen.
953
00:40:05,406 --> 00:40:08,284
Calm down, Bug. We'll figure it out.
This could be a lot worse.
954
00:40:08,368 --> 00:40:09,410
Oh, really, Hunter?
955
00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:11,496
I'm starving,
we're completely fucking lost,
956
00:40:11,579 --> 00:40:14,165
and my little puppy paw pads
are really hurting right now.
957
00:40:14,249 --> 00:40:16,292
-[Maggie] Aw.
-So how exactly could this get worse?
958
00:40:17,418 --> 00:40:18,962
Huh? How could it? Tell me. Huh?
959
00:40:19,045 --> 00:40:20,171
How could it get worse?
960
00:40:21,798 --> 00:40:22,799
-[bird screeches]
-Oh, oh, oh!
961
00:40:22,882 --> 00:40:23,925
[Hunter] Bug!
962
00:40:24,008 --> 00:40:26,010
-Why did I say it could get a lot worse?
-[Bug] Oh, shit!
963
00:40:26,094 --> 00:40:28,388
Please, please, don't drop me!
Don't eat me! None of that!
964
00:40:28,471 --> 00:40:31,349
-[Hunter] That eagle has some good timing.
-Bug! Hold on, buddy!
965
00:40:31,432 --> 00:40:32,767
Reg! Reggie! Guys, help me!
966
00:40:32,851 --> 00:40:34,978
Ask him if he wouldn't mind
bringing you lower!
967
00:40:35,061 --> 00:40:37,188
What are you talking about?
I don't speak bird.
968
00:40:37,272 --> 00:40:39,065
-We're in a real pickle!
-[Bug] Help, help, help.
969
00:40:39,148 --> 00:40:40,650
Do something. Somebody do something!
970
00:40:40,733 --> 00:40:41,860
Oh! Oh, God!
971
00:40:41,943 --> 00:40:43,987
[Reggie shouts]
972
00:40:44,070 --> 00:40:45,154
[grunts]
973
00:40:46,197 --> 00:40:47,740
[Bug] Yes! No!
974
00:40:47,824 --> 00:40:49,450
This is fucking crazy,
we're going higher!
975
00:40:49,534 --> 00:40:52,036
-[Hunter] Hold on, buddy!
-Reggie! Bug!
976
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,998
Oh, wow,
your balls look huge from this angle.
977
00:40:55,081 --> 00:40:57,959
Thank you. But holy fuck!
978
00:40:58,877 --> 00:41:02,255
[bird-watcher]
That is a golden-cheeked warbler.
979
00:41:03,047 --> 00:41:04,465
I've been missing that one.
980
00:41:05,717 --> 00:41:06,718
Uh…
981
00:41:08,011 --> 00:41:09,012
Mmm.
982
00:41:09,095 --> 00:41:11,472
[humming]
983
00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:12,557
Check.
984
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:13,641
[sighs]
985
00:41:14,225 --> 00:41:15,560
[Bug barking in distance]
986
00:41:20,190 --> 00:41:22,108
[bird-watcher] Holy shit.
987
00:41:22,775 --> 00:41:25,945
That is the craziest thing
I have ever seen.
988
00:41:27,488 --> 00:41:31,201
And I'm Dennis Quaid,
and Dennis Quaid has seen some shit.
989
00:41:31,743 --> 00:41:33,286
{\an8}-Let me down, bitch!
-Bug, look!
990
00:41:33,369 --> 00:41:35,038
{\an8}Over there! The giant cone!
991
00:41:35,121 --> 00:41:36,831
{\an8}-What?
-[Reggie] The giant cone!
992
00:41:36,915 --> 00:41:38,750
[Bug] Oh, the cone! Well, shit.
993
00:41:38,833 --> 00:41:41,377
That would be great news
if we weren't stuck to this fucking bird!
994
00:41:42,295 --> 00:41:45,089
Bug! I got an idea. Hang on!
995
00:41:45,173 --> 00:41:47,717
-[grunting]
-Reg, what are you doing?
996
00:41:48,301 --> 00:41:50,720
Oh, God! That's bold!
997
00:41:51,846 --> 00:41:53,181
It's too bold!
998
00:41:53,264 --> 00:41:54,307
[screaming]
999
00:41:54,390 --> 00:41:55,850
[Reggie] Here we go!
1000
00:41:57,185 --> 00:41:58,686
[Bug gasps]
1001
00:41:59,604 --> 00:42:01,689
-Well, shit-- Ow!
-Ah!
1002
00:42:03,691 --> 00:42:05,276
[Bug, Reggie grunting, groaning]
1003
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:06,986
[Maggie] Reggie! Bug!
1004
00:42:07,070 --> 00:42:09,155
-[Bug] Ah! Help! Shit.
-[Reggie] Ah! Branch!
1005
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:10,281
Smaller branch!
1006
00:42:10,365 --> 00:42:11,366
[Bug] Fuck!
1007
00:42:11,449 --> 00:42:13,910
[both grunting, groaning]
1008
00:42:13,993 --> 00:42:14,994
[Reggie] Shit--
1009
00:42:15,078 --> 00:42:16,079
[Bug] Goddamn--
1010
00:42:16,162 --> 00:42:17,372
[grunting, groaning continues]
1011
00:42:17,455 --> 00:42:20,875
Wow, they're hitting
a worst-case-scenario amount of branches.
1012
00:42:20,959 --> 00:42:23,086
-[Reggie] Branch!
-[Bug] Paws! Paws! Paws!
1013
00:42:23,169 --> 00:42:24,796
-[Reggie] Neck! Tail!
1014
00:42:24,879 --> 00:42:27,048
[grunts, sighs]
1015
00:42:27,131 --> 00:42:29,008
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
1016
00:42:29,092 --> 00:42:30,760
I did not mean to barge in like this.
1017
00:42:30,844 --> 00:42:32,053
What, are you guys wrestling?
1018
00:42:32,136 --> 00:42:33,137
[Bug screaming, grunts] Shit!
1019
00:42:33,221 --> 00:42:34,222
[Bug screams, grunts]
1020
00:42:34,305 --> 00:42:35,598
-[Maggie] Bug!
-[Bug screaming]
1021
00:42:35,682 --> 00:42:36,683
[Reggie screaming, grunts]
1022
00:42:36,766 --> 00:42:38,351
-Reggie!
-[Hunter] You're alive!
1023
00:42:38,434 --> 00:42:41,437
[Bug] Oh, fuck.
Got a stick up my ass.
1024
00:42:41,521 --> 00:42:44,023
[Reggie] Well, Hunter was right.
That could have been worse.
1025
00:42:44,107 --> 00:42:45,692
[Bug] Just get the fuck out of the bush.
1026
00:42:45,775 --> 00:42:48,403
[Hunter] Reggie,
you are once again a legend.
1027
00:42:48,486 --> 00:42:49,571
Guys, that was epic.
1028
00:42:49,654 --> 00:42:51,614
Fucking leaves. Get off me!
1029
00:42:51,698 --> 00:42:53,825
Guys! You wouldn't believe it.
We saw the giant cone.
1030
00:42:53,908 --> 00:42:55,034
-[Hunter] What?
-Yeah, we did.
1031
00:42:55,118 --> 00:42:56,369
-Really?
-That's amazing.
1032
00:42:56,452 --> 00:42:58,079
That means we're heading
in the right direction.
1033
00:42:58,162 --> 00:42:59,330
Yeah, and not to be cheesy,
1034
00:42:59,414 --> 00:43:02,584
but being up in the sky like that
just moments from my death,
1035
00:43:03,543 --> 00:43:05,670
I-- I learned something about life.
1036
00:43:05,753 --> 00:43:06,713
-What's that?
-What?
1037
00:43:06,796 --> 00:43:08,631
Birds don't have genitals.
1038
00:43:09,507 --> 00:43:10,925
Well, then how do they…
1039
00:43:11,009 --> 00:43:14,888
I don't know.
Maybe they have both parts inside.
1040
00:43:15,471 --> 00:43:17,265
So if you were to say
"go fuck yourself,"
1041
00:43:17,348 --> 00:43:19,517
they could actually do it.
1042
00:43:20,852 --> 00:43:22,520
Um, okay, then.
1043
00:43:22,604 --> 00:43:25,607
So, hey, next up is the devil in the sky.
1044
00:43:25,690 --> 00:43:27,734
[howling]
1045
00:43:27,817 --> 00:43:28,985
Howling.
1046
00:43:29,068 --> 00:43:30,904
Come on, guys. We're over halfway there.
1047
00:43:30,987 --> 00:43:32,363
[Hunter] My howl's getting better.
1048
00:43:32,447 --> 00:43:34,407
-You guys hear that?
-[Maggie] Good on you. I'm so proud.
1049
00:43:34,490 --> 00:43:35,575
-[Bug] Hey, man.
-Yeah?
1050
00:43:35,658 --> 00:43:37,118
I really appreciate what you did up there.
1051
00:43:37,785 --> 00:43:41,664
I mean, no need to pee on each other
or anything like that, but thanks.
1052
00:43:41,748 --> 00:43:44,167
Of course. We're Pee-FFs.
1053
00:43:44,250 --> 00:43:45,293
We stick together.
1054
00:43:46,002 --> 00:43:48,880
All right, all right. Enough.
Put your tongue back in your mouth.
1055
00:43:48,963 --> 00:43:53,259
["A-O-K" playing]
1056
00:43:53,343 --> 00:43:56,971
[Hunter] Okay, okay. Never have I ever
gone down on a girl dog.
1057
00:43:57,055 --> 00:43:58,264
[Maggie] Really? Seriously?
1058
00:43:58,348 --> 00:44:00,350
-You guys lick your balls all day.
-[Hunter] No, no.
1059
00:44:00,433 --> 00:44:01,643
[Hunter, Reggie] That's different.
1060
00:44:01,726 --> 00:44:03,603
-[Maggie] How is it different?
-[Bug] It's way different.
1061
00:44:03,686 --> 00:44:04,604
[Hunter] Bones to biscuits.
1062
00:44:04,687 --> 00:44:06,356
[Maggie]
I can't believe that I'm the only one.
1063
00:44:06,439 --> 00:44:07,774
[Hunter] What, you went down on a--
1064
00:44:07,857 --> 00:44:09,943
[Maggie] I was experimenting.
Come on, I was in my twos.
1065
00:44:10,026 --> 00:44:11,402
-[Bug] Oh.
-[Hunter] Yeah, that's the twos.
1066
00:44:11,486 --> 00:44:12,695
[Reggie] Oh, like a rumspringa.
1067
00:44:12,779 --> 00:44:15,073
♪ Living in this big blue world… ♪
1068
00:44:15,156 --> 00:44:18,743
[Reggie] Okay, I got one.
Would you rather eat poop or--
1069
00:44:18,826 --> 00:44:20,995
-[Maggie] Eat poop.
-[Bug] Eat poop. Definitely eat poop.
1070
00:44:21,079 --> 00:44:22,372
Okay,
but I didn't even get to--
1071
00:44:22,455 --> 00:44:23,831
It doesn't matter.
I like poop.
1072
00:44:25,083 --> 00:44:27,460
[Reggie] So, question.
When dogs have sex from behind…
1073
00:44:27,544 --> 00:44:29,254
-[Hunter] Okay, okay…
-…what's the style?
1074
00:44:29,337 --> 00:44:31,256
-[Bug] That's just regular style.
-[Maggie] Regular style.
1075
00:44:31,339 --> 00:44:33,174
[Reggie] Is there another style
or do we only have one?
1076
00:44:33,258 --> 00:44:36,135
[Bug] I only know one style of fucking,
and I've been doing it my whole life.
1077
00:44:36,219 --> 00:44:37,387
[Reggie] Then what's human style?
1078
00:44:37,470 --> 00:44:39,722
[Bug] In human style,
the boy pretends to be the dog
1079
00:44:39,806 --> 00:44:41,558
and the girl pretends to be the couch.
1080
00:44:41,641 --> 00:44:44,310
-It's very complicated.
-[Reggie] Wow, that is complicated.
1081
00:44:44,394 --> 00:44:46,187
[Hunter] Every species is different.
1082
00:44:47,689 --> 00:44:50,483
♪ Two, four, six, eight
Who do we appreciate… ♪
1083
00:44:50,567 --> 00:44:52,360
[Maggie] All right, I've got a joke.
Knock, knock.
1084
00:44:52,443 --> 00:44:53,278
[others barking]
1085
00:44:53,361 --> 00:44:54,821
[Maggie] No.
You gotta ask, "Who's there?"
1086
00:44:54,904 --> 00:44:56,906
-[Bug] Okay. Got it, got it.
-[Maggie] Knock, knock.
1087
00:44:56,990 --> 00:44:58,241
[others barking]
1088
00:44:58,324 --> 00:45:00,869
[Maggie] Guys, stop. You won't even
let me get to the joke part.
1089
00:45:00,952 --> 00:45:03,037
[Hunter] Later, Maggie.
Somebody's at the door.
1090
00:45:03,121 --> 00:45:04,914
[Bug] Nothing funny
about a stranger at the door.
1091
00:45:04,998 --> 00:45:06,666
[Maggie] Ugh. You guys are fucking morons.
1092
00:45:07,458 --> 00:45:10,420
♪ I know I'll be A-O, A-O-K… ♪
1093
00:45:11,379 --> 00:45:13,715
[sniffing]
1094
00:45:14,299 --> 00:45:17,677
-[Maggie] You guys got anything yet?
-No. Man, and I'm starving.
1095
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,096
Anything edible over there?
Like a buffalo chicken pizza?
1096
00:45:20,180 --> 00:45:21,598
No, just squirrel poops.
1097
00:45:21,681 --> 00:45:24,559
No, I can't eat no more of that shit.
That goes right through me.
1098
00:45:24,642 --> 00:45:26,519
[Reggie] Hey, I think I got something.
1099
00:45:27,145 --> 00:45:28,271
[Hunter] What do you got?
1100
00:45:32,358 --> 00:45:34,402
-What are those?
-Kind of looks like food.
1101
00:45:34,485 --> 00:45:35,904
I don't know.
1102
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,240
-[Bug] Let me get at it.
-[Reggie] Mmm. It's not too bad.
1103
00:45:39,324 --> 00:45:41,451
-[Bug] I'm down to clown.
-[Reggie] How many of these should we eat?
1104
00:45:41,534 --> 00:45:43,536
-[Hunter] All of them?
-[Reggie] Yeah, that makes sense.
1105
00:45:43,620 --> 00:45:45,205
[Maggie] These are so good. Mmm.
1106
00:45:45,288 --> 00:45:46,497
Ooh, this one's spicy.
1107
00:45:46,581 --> 00:45:48,166
[Hunter] Mmm.
Kinda nutty, right?
1108
00:45:54,255 --> 00:45:55,340
[belches]
1109
00:45:55,423 --> 00:45:57,550
All right. [sighs]
1110
00:45:57,634 --> 00:46:01,179
That should hold us. Solid dinner. Mmm.
1111
00:46:01,262 --> 00:46:02,805
All right, let's get moving.
1112
00:46:02,889 --> 00:46:05,099
Oh, shit. Gimme a sec.
1113
00:46:05,183 --> 00:46:06,726
Whoa. Whoa.
1114
00:46:06,809 --> 00:46:08,144
What the fuck?
1115
00:46:11,981 --> 00:46:14,651
["Flat Beat" playing]
1116
00:46:17,445 --> 00:46:19,739
Hunter, your cone.
1117
00:46:19,822 --> 00:46:22,867
Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.
I should probably take it off.
1118
00:46:22,951 --> 00:46:24,827
No, no. It's growing.
1119
00:46:24,911 --> 00:46:27,914
Oh, my God. [chuckles] Oh, my God.
1120
00:46:27,997 --> 00:46:29,999
-[voice] Bug.
-No.
1121
00:46:30,083 --> 00:46:32,085
-[laughter]
-[voice] Bug!
1122
00:46:32,168 --> 00:46:33,336
[Bug] Can't be.
1123
00:46:35,213 --> 00:46:36,214
Dolores!
1124
00:46:36,798 --> 00:46:39,342
-Hello, Bug.
-What you doing out here?
1125
00:46:39,425 --> 00:46:40,635
We need to talk.
1126
00:46:40,718 --> 00:46:43,137
Wait, Maggie. You look different.
1127
00:46:43,221 --> 00:46:44,222
Really?
1128
00:46:44,305 --> 00:46:46,641
Oh, shit, you look different too.
1129
00:46:46,724 --> 00:46:48,893
-How so?
-Um, you're kinda…
1130
00:46:48,977 --> 00:46:50,395
Is it my human hands?
1131
00:46:52,146 --> 00:46:54,524
-Do you think I could play piano now?
-[Maggie] Definitely.
1132
00:47:00,321 --> 00:47:01,322
[Reggie] Doug?
1133
00:47:01,990 --> 00:47:02,991
[echoing] Hey, Reggie!
1134
00:47:03,074 --> 00:47:05,910
Doug! How's it going?
1135
00:47:05,994 --> 00:47:07,579
Not great. Yeah.
1136
00:47:07,662 --> 00:47:09,038
Just giving it one last shave,
1137
00:47:09,122 --> 00:47:12,000
'cause word on the street
is you're planning to bite it off.
1138
00:47:12,083 --> 00:47:14,043
Oh. That was supposed to be a surprise.
1139
00:47:14,127 --> 00:47:15,128
Who told you?
1140
00:47:15,211 --> 00:47:17,213
-[chiming]
-Sorry, Daddy.
1141
00:47:17,297 --> 00:47:19,549
Oh! My son, the gnome.
1142
00:47:19,632 --> 00:47:21,050
-We're done, Bug.
-What?
1143
00:47:21,134 --> 00:47:23,428
-I'm seeing someone else now.
-Who?
1144
00:47:24,345 --> 00:47:25,847
You kidding me? Him?
1145
00:47:25,930 --> 00:47:27,348
Hey! Go fuck yourself, man!
1146
00:47:27,432 --> 00:47:29,058
{\an8}[screeches]
1147
00:47:30,435 --> 00:47:31,895
Dolores, come back!
1148
00:47:31,978 --> 00:47:33,271
[Labrador] He yelled to the sky.
1149
00:47:33,354 --> 00:47:35,231
But what Bug didn't realize--
1150
00:47:35,315 --> 00:47:37,650
-Fuck you, narrator dog!
-He said.
1151
00:47:37,734 --> 00:47:39,235
Stop saying "he said."
1152
00:47:40,612 --> 00:47:41,654
He replied.
1153
00:47:41,738 --> 00:47:44,115
I always had such high hopes
for you, Reggie.
1154
00:47:44,908 --> 00:47:49,662
I just wanted you to be…
[distorted] …a good boy.
1155
00:47:49,746 --> 00:47:51,789
All I ever wanted was to be a good boy.
1156
00:47:51,873 --> 00:47:53,082
Goodbye, Reggie.
1157
00:47:55,335 --> 00:47:57,086
Wait, Doug! Come back!
1158
00:47:57,170 --> 00:48:00,465
-Whoa, whoa. What's that smell?
-Wait, wh-what?
1159
00:48:00,548 --> 00:48:02,425
[Maggie sniffing]
It's coming from over here.
1160
00:48:02,509 --> 00:48:05,178
-Hunter, are you seeing this?
-[toy squeaking]
1161
00:48:05,261 --> 00:48:06,721
-[Hunter] Toys.
-Toys!
1162
00:48:06,804 --> 00:48:08,973
Guys, get in here! Get over here!
1163
00:48:09,057 --> 00:48:10,767
-[toy squeaking]
-[Reggie grunts]
1164
00:48:10,850 --> 00:48:13,353
-[Bug] Reg, pull this one with me.
-[Reggie] It's so squishy!
1165
00:48:13,436 --> 00:48:15,813
-[Maggie] Oh, fluffy!
-[Bug] I can't feel my snout.
1166
00:48:15,897 --> 00:48:17,815
[Maggie] Oh! Toys everywhere!
1167
00:48:17,899 --> 00:48:20,151
[laughter]
1168
00:48:20,235 --> 00:48:22,570
[Hunter]
I don't want this day to ever end!
1169
00:48:22,654 --> 00:48:25,657
[Reggie, echoing] Yeah, me neither!
1170
00:48:32,330 --> 00:48:34,916
[snoring]
1171
00:48:38,044 --> 00:48:40,129
Morning, guys. Comfy?
1172
00:48:40,713 --> 00:48:43,466
Oh, shit.
I thought you were Dolores. My bad.
1173
00:48:43,550 --> 00:48:45,927
-I gotta go pee.
-What's that by your feet, Reggie?
1174
00:48:46,010 --> 00:48:47,887
My feet? What are you talking about?
1175
00:48:47,971 --> 00:48:49,639
-What is that?
-Yeah, what is that?
1176
00:48:49,722 --> 00:48:51,432
Oh, my God. That's an ear!
1177
00:48:52,433 --> 00:48:54,811
-An ear?
-Holy fucking shit!
1178
00:48:54,894 --> 00:48:57,105
They were toys.
Guys, where are the goddamn toys?
1179
00:48:57,188 --> 00:48:59,566
This is not real. This is not real!
1180
00:48:59,649 --> 00:49:02,569
[Hunter] This is real!
This is real! Oh, my God!
1181
00:49:02,652 --> 00:49:03,903
We killed 'em! [exclaims]
1182
00:49:03,987 --> 00:49:04,988
I'm gonna barf.
1183
00:49:05,071 --> 00:49:07,240
[retches] Oh, God,
there's fur in the barf!
1184
00:49:07,323 --> 00:49:09,492
We're fucking murderers!
Oh, my God. Now I'm gonna barf.
1185
00:49:09,576 --> 00:49:11,369
Holy fuck! This can't be happening!
1186
00:49:11,452 --> 00:49:13,997
Hang in there. Stay with me. I'll fix you.
1187
00:49:14,831 --> 00:49:16,916
-Bug, what are you doing?
-What does it look like?
1188
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,835
I'm getting rid of the evidence.
Nobody can know!
1189
00:49:24,215 --> 00:49:25,842
[flies buzzing]
1190
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:32,140
Um… We are gathered here today
to say goodbye to the bunnies.
1191
00:49:32,849 --> 00:49:34,350
Honestly,
what we did was an accident.
1192
00:49:34,434 --> 00:49:35,393
-Absolutely.
-Right.
1193
00:49:35,476 --> 00:49:38,688
And I know that if we weren't confused
from the food we ate,
1194
00:49:38,771 --> 00:49:42,317
we would have never mauled you,
tore all your limbs off
1195
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:46,279
and shook your corpses around
while giggling gleefully by accident.
1196
00:49:46,362 --> 00:49:48,072
So bless you, bunnies.
1197
00:49:48,156 --> 00:49:49,324
-Yes. Sorry.
-Bless you.
1198
00:49:49,407 --> 00:49:50,450
-So sorry.
-Sorry.
1199
00:49:50,533 --> 00:49:51,951
-Amen.
-All right, that's it.
1200
00:49:52,035 --> 00:49:54,996
Never speak of this again.
Not one word, do you hear me?
1201
00:49:55,079 --> 00:49:56,206
Not one fucking word.
1202
00:49:56,289 --> 00:49:58,958
-Not one word about what?
-Oh, shit. The cops.
1203
00:49:59,042 --> 00:50:00,376
"Oh, shit's" right, motherfucker.
1204
00:50:00,460 --> 00:50:02,712
Wh-Wh-What did we do?
We're innocent, I promise.
1205
00:50:02,795 --> 00:50:04,297
-Sit!
-I am.
1206
00:50:04,380 --> 00:50:06,466
On the ground! Lay down!
Paws where I can see 'em.
1207
00:50:06,549 --> 00:50:08,301
-We're laying down.
-Search these bitches.
1208
00:50:08,384 --> 00:50:10,470
-They're hiding something.
-Oh, God, what do we do?
1209
00:50:10,553 --> 00:50:13,306
Calm down. I got this.
I'm gonna speak with my white dog voice.
1210
00:50:13,389 --> 00:50:17,727
Hello, officer. None of us have
ever killed a bunny in our lives.
1211
00:50:17,810 --> 00:50:20,146
-[Maggie, Reggie, Hunter] Bug!
-What? Everybody shut the fuck up.
1212
00:50:20,230 --> 00:50:21,856
We're looking for a lost Girl Scout.
1213
00:50:21,940 --> 00:50:24,317
Riley Anderson. Age eight in human years.
1214
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,361
Wandered away from her campsite
two days ago.
1215
00:50:26,444 --> 00:50:28,363
Thought you dogs might
have some contact with her.
1216
00:50:28,446 --> 00:50:29,614
I've got nothing, sir.
1217
00:50:29,697 --> 00:50:31,574
But it smells like you haven't.
Let's move out.
1218
00:50:31,658 --> 00:50:33,409
Wait, wait. I could help.
1219
00:50:33,493 --> 00:50:35,453
I'm sorry, I don't really
want to be that bitch,
1220
00:50:35,537 --> 00:50:37,664
but I'm actually really good at sniffing,
1221
00:50:37,747 --> 00:50:40,416
and I'd be happy to assist
in finding this lost girl.
1222
00:50:40,500 --> 00:50:41,751
Adorable.
1223
00:50:41,835 --> 00:50:43,878
Yeah, no, thanks, Australian Shep-turd.
1224
00:50:43,962 --> 00:50:47,006
Excuse me, but you really shouldn't
talk to her like that.
1225
00:50:47,090 --> 00:50:49,217
And what the fuck
are you gonna do about it?
1226
00:50:49,300 --> 00:50:52,512
I-I will do nothing the fuck about it.
I am sitting down now.
1227
00:50:52,595 --> 00:50:53,721
Oh, Hunter.
1228
00:50:54,305 --> 00:50:56,391
-Hunter?
-Rolf?
1229
00:50:56,474 --> 00:50:59,811
Holy mother-flipping shit!
1230
00:50:59,894 --> 00:51:01,437
I didn't recognize you with the cone.
1231
00:51:01,521 --> 00:51:03,064
Yeah, yeah. I got a cone now.
1232
00:51:03,147 --> 00:51:04,399
Bring it in, bro.
1233
00:51:04,482 --> 00:51:05,650
-Buddy!
-Give me some!
1234
00:51:05,733 --> 00:51:06,901
God. Well, I should've known,
1235
00:51:06,985 --> 00:51:09,279
'cause your butthole smells
exactly the same.
1236
00:51:09,362 --> 00:51:10,738
I'll never forget this butthole.
1237
00:51:10,822 --> 00:51:12,365
-What the fuck?
-You know this guy?
1238
00:51:12,448 --> 00:51:15,535
You kidding me? This fucker and I
went to the academy together.
1239
00:51:15,618 --> 00:51:17,954
Everything I know I learned
from this son of a bitch.
1240
00:51:18,037 --> 00:51:19,581
Technically,
we're all sons of bitches, sir.
1241
00:51:19,664 --> 00:51:21,875
Shut up.
Hey, so where'd you end up, brother?
1242
00:51:21,958 --> 00:51:24,502
Drug sniffing? Bomb detection?
What are we talking about?
1243
00:51:24,586 --> 00:51:27,839
Oh, um… Well, I take care of dying humans.
1244
00:51:27,922 --> 00:51:28,923
Oh.
1245
00:51:29,007 --> 00:51:30,884
I mean, that's not the end of the world,
I guess.
1246
00:51:30,967 --> 00:51:32,802
Oh. For them it is. [chuckles]
1247
00:51:32,886 --> 00:51:34,429
Well, hey, guys.
1248
00:51:34,512 --> 00:51:35,972
You found some strays, Rolf?
1249
00:51:36,055 --> 00:51:37,182
Huh?
1250
00:51:37,265 --> 00:51:39,809
-Good job.
-So what are you fuckers doing out here?
1251
00:51:39,893 --> 00:51:43,104
-Oh, uh, well, it's a long story.
-We're gonna bite a guy's dick off.
1252
00:51:43,188 --> 00:51:44,314
It's actually a short story.
1253
00:51:44,397 --> 00:51:47,525
Nice! Man, when I joined the force,
you could bite dicks left and right.
1254
00:51:47,609 --> 00:51:51,154
Nowadays, I chomp a dick,
I gotta fill out two weeks of paperwork.
1255
00:51:51,237 --> 00:51:54,157
Can I get an AC unit down
to Old Forest Road 54?
1256
00:51:54,240 --> 00:51:56,951
We're trying to get to the devil
in the sky. Does that sound familiar?
1257
00:51:57,035 --> 00:51:58,870
-Devil in the sky? Yeah.
-[officer] Much appreciated.
1258
00:51:58,953 --> 00:52:00,538
You stick with us,
we'll show you the way.
1259
00:52:00,622 --> 00:52:02,790
-Wow, really?
-Sure thing, rat boy.
1260
00:52:03,875 --> 00:52:05,668
[Rolf] Let's not wait
so long next time, huh?
1261
00:52:05,752 --> 00:52:07,837
-What's it been, seven years?
-I think just one,
1262
00:52:07,921 --> 00:52:10,298
but every year feels like seven to us,
so that makes sense.
1263
00:52:10,381 --> 00:52:11,966
[Bug] Okay.
We gotta get our story straight.
1264
00:52:12,050 --> 00:52:14,385
It was a possum who
killed all the bunnies. Got it?
1265
00:52:14,469 --> 00:52:16,221
-Wait, what's the possum's name?
-Uh, Greg.
1266
00:52:16,304 --> 00:52:20,391
That's not a believable name for a possum.
Ooh. Can it be Monty?
1267
00:52:20,475 --> 00:52:23,186
-Hey, Cath.
-Steve, thanks for coming over.
1268
00:52:23,269 --> 00:52:25,355
Hey, little guy. Want a treat?
1269
00:52:25,438 --> 00:52:26,981
Treats! I love treats!
1270
00:52:27,065 --> 00:52:29,817
Oh, my goodness,
does somebody want a treat?
1271
00:52:29,901 --> 00:52:31,528
This one's all for you.
I got tons of treats.
1272
00:52:31,611 --> 00:52:32,987
Reggie, it's a trap!
1273
00:52:33,071 --> 00:52:34,656
-[Hunter] Hey!
-[Maggie screams]
1274
00:52:34,739 --> 00:52:35,740
[Bug] No, no, no!
1275
00:52:35,823 --> 00:52:37,575
Those bunnies were dead
when we found them.
1276
00:52:37,659 --> 00:52:39,827
It was a possum named, uh, Greg, or--
1277
00:52:39,911 --> 00:52:42,830
[Reggie] Monty!
His name was Monty, not Greg.
1278
00:52:42,914 --> 00:52:44,082
[Bug] We had no choice.
They threatened us!
1279
00:52:44,165 --> 00:52:46,251
But, Rolf,
I thought we were pals.
1280
00:52:46,334 --> 00:52:49,045
Sorry, old friend. The law's the law.
You know how it is.
1281
00:52:49,128 --> 00:52:50,713
What a sadistic fuck.
1282
00:52:50,797 --> 00:52:53,508
Hey, calm down, sweetie pie.
You'll all be fine.
1283
00:52:53,591 --> 00:52:55,260
If you got tags, they'll send you home.
1284
00:52:57,637 --> 00:52:58,805
-[dogs barking]
-[wolf whistle]
1285
00:52:58,888 --> 00:53:00,265
-Oh, fresh meat.
-Hey, big boy.
1286
00:53:00,348 --> 00:53:03,268
-I like the mouth on that one.
-We're gonna cuddle real hard.
1287
00:53:03,351 --> 00:53:06,229
-Hey, bitch! Hey, little bitch! [howls]
-[smacking lips]
1288
00:53:06,312 --> 00:53:09,065
Guys, we gotta get out of here.
We're running out of time.
1289
00:53:09,148 --> 00:53:10,984
-Where even are we?
-Nowhere good.
1290
00:53:11,067 --> 00:53:12,902
No, no, no. I can't be here.
1291
00:53:12,986 --> 00:53:14,195
I can't. Not this again.
1292
00:53:14,279 --> 00:53:15,530
Come on, mate.
We'll be fine.
1293
00:53:15,613 --> 00:53:18,366
Rolf told us they'll just send us home.
It'll be all right.
1294
00:53:18,449 --> 00:53:20,869
They only send you home
if you got a home to go back to.
1295
00:53:20,952 --> 00:53:24,747
And do you know what these people do
to dogs that don't have one, Hunter? Huh?
1296
00:53:24,831 --> 00:53:28,209
Do you have any idea
what they're about to do to me and Reg?
1297
00:53:28,293 --> 00:53:29,794
Calm down, Bug. We'll figure this out.
1298
00:53:29,878 --> 00:53:31,421
Ain't nothing to figure out, Maggie.
1299
00:53:31,504 --> 00:53:33,798
These humans caught us
and now we are fucked.
1300
00:53:33,882 --> 00:53:35,258
Bug, you don't know that.
1301
00:53:35,341 --> 00:53:36,718
Yeah. I mean, Bug,
1302
00:53:36,801 --> 00:53:40,221
you say you know so much about humans,
but you don't really know them either.
1303
00:53:40,305 --> 00:53:41,723
I mean, you've never had an owner.
1304
00:53:41,806 --> 00:53:44,142
You never had a Jenna.
You never had a Doug.
1305
00:53:44,225 --> 00:53:45,185
I had an Emma!
1306
00:53:45,268 --> 00:53:46,686
-[gasps]
-What?
1307
00:53:46,769 --> 00:53:49,480
Whoa.
Bug, you had an owner?
1308
00:53:50,064 --> 00:53:51,274
Yeah.
1309
00:53:51,357 --> 00:53:55,570
And I told myself
that I would never say her name again.
1310
00:53:56,529 --> 00:53:58,698
But y'all need to hear this.
1311
00:53:58,781 --> 00:54:00,033
-No.
-No? Okay.
1312
00:54:00,116 --> 00:54:01,868
[Bug] I don't remember everything,
1313
00:54:01,951 --> 00:54:03,995
but I remember
the day she got me out of there.
1314
00:54:04,078 --> 00:54:05,121
[gasps]
1315
00:54:05,205 --> 00:54:07,498
-[child] This one.
-[mother] He's a cute little bugger.
1316
00:54:07,582 --> 00:54:09,626
Cute little bug.
1317
00:54:11,419 --> 00:54:13,421
[Bug] We did everything together.
1318
00:54:13,505 --> 00:54:19,052
We played all day, and no matter
how stupid I acted, she always laughed.
1319
00:54:19,135 --> 00:54:20,303
Trick or treat.
1320
00:54:20,386 --> 00:54:22,305
[Bug] We even did this thing I hated,
1321
00:54:22,388 --> 00:54:25,099
where she would dress us up
in super weird clothes,
1322
00:54:25,183 --> 00:54:28,228
and ask the neighbors to give us
that chocolate humans make from dog poop.
1323
00:54:28,311 --> 00:54:29,479
Oh, not for you, honey.
1324
00:54:29,562 --> 00:54:32,690
-[Bug whimpers]
-[Emma] It's okay. It's just a storm.
1325
00:54:32,774 --> 00:54:36,528
[Bug] But even better than all the fun
we had is the way she made me feel.
1326
00:54:36,611 --> 00:54:38,279
I love you.
1327
00:54:38,363 --> 00:54:40,532
[Bug] When she said that,
I felt so special.
1328
00:54:41,658 --> 00:54:45,411
And then it was usually followed
by these incredible belly scratches.
1329
00:54:45,495 --> 00:54:47,664
No one ever made my leg kick like that.
1330
00:54:47,747 --> 00:54:52,085
Except for this one night with a raccoon
I don't like to talk about, but, anyway.
1331
00:54:53,211 --> 00:54:55,880
But then I made a mistake.
1332
00:54:56,506 --> 00:54:58,800
-[yelps]
-[Emma screams]
1333
00:54:58,883 --> 00:54:59,884
[Bug] It was a blur.
1334
00:55:01,636 --> 00:55:04,138
I didn't even know what I did
until it was too late.
1335
00:55:04,848 --> 00:55:06,224
Say goodbye to Bug?
1336
00:55:08,226 --> 00:55:09,227
[whimpers]
1337
00:55:09,310 --> 00:55:10,854
[crying]
1338
00:55:10,937 --> 00:55:12,313
[barks]
1339
00:55:14,190 --> 00:55:16,901
[Bug] I thought I was getting
put in time-out or something.
1340
00:55:18,987 --> 00:55:20,113
But the place she sent me to…
1341
00:55:21,781 --> 00:55:23,908
the time-outs there never end.
1342
00:55:25,034 --> 00:55:26,578
-[veterinarian screams]
-[assistant] Whoa!
1343
00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:32,959
I never saw her again.
1344
00:55:33,793 --> 00:55:35,378
After all we had been through.
1345
00:55:35,461 --> 00:55:40,592
Everything she made me feel,
everything I thought I made her feel.
1346
00:55:40,675 --> 00:55:42,760
Just nothing.
1347
00:55:42,844 --> 00:55:46,598
We did so much together.
She taught me so many tricks.
1348
00:55:46,681 --> 00:55:50,101
But the one trick
she never wanted me to learn was…
1349
00:55:50,185 --> 00:55:51,311
"Stay."
1350
00:55:51,394 --> 00:55:52,854
Mmm.
1351
00:55:52,937 --> 00:55:54,647
I think I zoned out
around the middle part.
1352
00:55:54,731 --> 00:55:55,732
Can you tell it again?
1353
00:55:55,815 --> 00:55:58,193
Hunter, I'm not gonna tell
the middle part again.
1354
00:55:58,276 --> 00:56:00,028
I'm sorry, Bug. I had no idea.
1355
00:56:00,111 --> 00:56:02,197
Don't be sorry, Reg. Be thankful.
1356
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,240
'Cause you got a chance
to make this right.
1357
00:56:04,324 --> 00:56:08,411
Oh, what I wouldn't give to bite this girl
in the dick.
1358
00:56:08,494 --> 00:56:11,164
But you know, she's six,
and I don't know where she lives now,
1359
00:56:11,247 --> 00:56:13,708
and she's a girl
and doesn't even have a dick, but still.
1360
00:56:13,791 --> 00:56:16,753
Listen.
What we're doing isn't just about Doug.
1361
00:56:16,836 --> 00:56:18,963
We're doing this for all of them.
1362
00:56:19,047 --> 00:56:23,384
For every single one of those humans
who treated us like shit.
1363
00:56:24,093 --> 00:56:26,679
Man, biggest mistake of my life.
1364
00:56:26,763 --> 00:56:29,057
Yeah, I'd regret that bite too.
1365
00:56:29,140 --> 00:56:32,185
The bite? No, I'm talking about her.
1366
00:56:32,268 --> 00:56:34,062
She's the mistake. Not the--
1367
00:56:34,145 --> 00:56:37,106
Okay, well, we can talk about
getting back at your exes all we want.
1368
00:56:37,190 --> 00:56:39,275
But none of that matters
if we can't get out of here.
1369
00:56:39,359 --> 00:56:42,529
Guys, what if we can get the key?
1370
00:56:50,411 --> 00:56:53,831
Oh, no, we'd need, like,
a super long pole to hook it.
1371
00:56:57,293 --> 00:56:59,212
Why is everyone looking at me?
1372
00:57:03,383 --> 00:57:05,009
Come on, Hunter. You can do it.
1373
00:57:07,011 --> 00:57:08,346
-[Hunter grunting]
-[Reggie] You're so close.
1374
00:57:08,429 --> 00:57:09,430
Just a little more.
1375
00:57:09,514 --> 00:57:11,391
Come on, get hornier!
You can do it!
1376
00:57:11,474 --> 00:57:12,892
This is all I got.
1377
00:57:12,976 --> 00:57:14,936
Maggie, come on. Excite him.
1378
00:57:15,812 --> 00:57:22,360
[whispering] Hunter, this has been
a really long, hard trip.
1379
00:57:22,443 --> 00:57:27,866
But the thing that keeps me panting
is thinking about us doing it
1380
00:57:28,449 --> 00:57:29,826
regular style.
1381
00:57:29,909 --> 00:57:31,661
Oh, boy! It's working.
1382
00:57:31,744 --> 00:57:33,830
Keep talking, Maggie. More sexy stuff.
1383
00:57:33,913 --> 00:57:38,418
Just picture me,
all eight nipples rock hard.
1384
00:57:38,501 --> 00:57:40,628
And I'm wearing nothing but…
1385
00:57:40,712 --> 00:57:42,672
[gasps] …the cone.
1386
00:57:42,755 --> 00:57:43,715
[grunts]
1387
00:57:44,924 --> 00:57:46,050
[Reggie] You're doing it, Hunter.
1388
00:57:46,134 --> 00:57:48,720
Come on, Hunter.
Use that dick of yours.
1389
00:57:49,387 --> 00:57:50,555
Yes, Hunter!
1390
00:57:50,638 --> 00:57:53,224
-[straining]
-[Maggie] Hunter! Hunter!
1391
00:57:53,308 --> 00:57:56,311
[all] Hunter! Hunter! Hunter!
1392
00:57:56,394 --> 00:57:58,271
Hunter! Hunter!
1393
00:57:58,354 --> 00:57:59,814
Hunter!
1394
00:57:59,898 --> 00:58:01,316
[dog] Hunter!
1395
00:58:01,399 --> 00:58:03,067
Sorry, guys. It's hopeless.
1396
00:58:03,151 --> 00:58:04,444
[Maggie] Oh, Hunter.
1397
00:58:04,527 --> 00:58:06,279
Shit. Really thought
that was gonna work.
1398
00:58:06,362 --> 00:58:08,239
Sorry my dick let you down.
1399
00:58:08,323 --> 00:58:10,200
Wait, I've got it.
1400
00:58:10,283 --> 00:58:12,452
What's the one thing humans
are obsessed with?
1401
00:58:12,535 --> 00:58:14,245
-Uh, themselves.
-Painting their faces.
1402
00:58:14,329 --> 00:58:15,496
-Dying.
-No.
1403
00:58:15,580 --> 00:58:16,915
Bug, you said it yourself.
1404
00:58:16,998 --> 00:58:20,668
What's the thing
humans are most obsessed with about dogs?
1405
00:58:20,752 --> 00:58:22,337
-Our shit!
-Yes!
1406
00:58:22,420 --> 00:58:24,589
Every single time we shit,
what do they do?
1407
00:58:24,672 --> 00:58:26,090
-They come and bag it up.
-[Maggie] Yeah.
1408
00:58:26,174 --> 00:58:28,885
That's right.
Once this place gets all poopy,
1409
00:58:28,968 --> 00:58:32,680
Willy comes in and bags it up,
like he's collecting it for something.
1410
00:58:32,764 --> 00:58:35,642
-Exactly! That's our ticket out of here.
-[dog] For chocolate!
1411
00:58:35,725 --> 00:58:38,061
We poop until he has to open these doors,
1412
00:58:38,144 --> 00:58:40,230
and when he does, we charge!
1413
00:58:40,313 --> 00:58:42,023
-[Maggie] Good on ya.
-Nice thinking, kid. I'm in!
1414
00:58:42,106 --> 00:58:43,399
I got a couple of shits
in the chamber.
1415
00:58:43,483 --> 00:58:44,859
[dogs groaning, murmuring]
1416
00:58:44,943 --> 00:58:46,402
-Not gonna happen.
-No, thanks, kid.
1417
00:58:46,486 --> 00:58:48,780
What's wrong with you guys?
Don't you want to get out of this place?
1418
00:58:48,863 --> 00:58:51,407
Of course.
But we've been burned so many times,
1419
00:58:51,491 --> 00:58:54,285
we're smart enough to know
that we'll never get beyond these walls
1420
00:58:54,369 --> 00:58:56,329
without a human coming to adopt us.
1421
00:58:57,705 --> 00:58:59,832
Look, I get it.
1422
00:58:59,916 --> 00:59:01,626
I've had dark moments.
1423
00:59:01,709 --> 00:59:03,628
Moments where I felt stuck.
1424
00:59:04,379 --> 00:59:06,840
Moments where,
even if you couldn't see it,
1425
00:59:06,923 --> 00:59:10,343
it felt like there was a wall
or a fence holding you back.
1426
00:59:10,426 --> 00:59:12,804
Yeah, invisible magic fences.
I swear to God, that's real.
1427
00:59:12,887 --> 00:59:16,182
But I'm here to tell you
that's garbage talk.
1428
00:59:16,266 --> 00:59:19,018
'Cause I was lucky enough
to meet some amazing friends,
1429
00:59:19,102 --> 00:59:21,813
who taught me that just beyond those walls
1430
00:59:21,896 --> 00:59:24,691
is a bunch of incredible stuff
worth living for.
1431
00:59:24,774 --> 00:59:26,526
There's lampposts to pee on.
1432
00:59:26,609 --> 00:59:29,571
There's scraps to eat
and couches to make love to.
1433
00:59:29,654 --> 00:59:31,030
And dead bunnies…
1434
00:59:31,114 --> 00:59:32,866
-[Bug clears throat]
-…that I-I know nothing about.
1435
00:59:32,949 --> 00:59:35,535
-I know nothing about that either.
-No clue what you're talking about.
1436
00:59:35,618 --> 00:59:37,787
-Tennis balls to fetch and--
-A dick to bite off!
1437
00:59:37,871 --> 00:59:39,831
What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That too.
1438
00:59:40,874 --> 00:59:44,836
But most importantly,
there's a life out there worth living.
1439
00:59:44,919 --> 00:59:46,379
-[Hunter] Go, Reg!
-[Maggie] Whoo! Reggie!
1440
00:59:46,462 --> 00:59:50,300
So I'm asking you,
do you want to stay here and die,
1441
00:59:50,383 --> 00:59:54,137
or do you want to shit your brains out
and live?
1442
00:59:54,220 --> 00:59:56,097
-Live! Live!
-We wanna live!
1443
00:59:56,181 --> 00:59:57,182
-Live!
-Live!
1444
00:59:57,265 --> 01:00:01,144
Then poop with me!
Poop with me to freedom!
1445
01:00:01,227 --> 01:00:03,354
♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit ♪
1446
01:00:03,438 --> 01:00:05,940
♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit ♪
1447
01:00:06,024 --> 01:00:08,610
-♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪
-♪ Are you ready for this? ♪
1448
01:00:08,693 --> 01:00:11,696
-♪ Oh, shit, oh, shit ♪
-♪ Oh… ♪
1449
01:00:11,779 --> 01:00:15,074
Dig deep inside of you!
Deep inside your colon.
1450
01:00:15,658 --> 01:00:17,535
Release your pent-up feelings.
1451
01:00:18,578 --> 01:00:20,163
Let it flow!
1452
01:00:20,997 --> 01:00:22,332
♪ When I come to the club ♪
1453
01:00:22,415 --> 01:00:23,416
-♪ Step aside ♪
-♪ Oh, shit ♪
1454
01:00:23,499 --> 01:00:25,668
♪ Part the seas
Don't be havin' me in the line ♪
1455
01:00:25,752 --> 01:00:26,586
♪ Oh, shit… ♪
1456
01:00:26,669 --> 01:00:29,380
Great work, everybody! Keep on pooping!
1457
01:00:29,464 --> 01:00:31,925
-♪ And me love you long time ♪
-♪ Oh, shit ♪
1458
01:00:32,008 --> 01:00:34,302
♪ How come every time you come around ♪
1459
01:00:34,385 --> 01:00:36,930
♪ My London, London Bridge
Wanna go down? ♪
1460
01:00:37,013 --> 01:00:39,807
♪ Like London, London, London
Be goin' down like… ♪
1461
01:00:44,938 --> 01:00:46,356
Those are my eyes.
1462
01:00:47,482 --> 01:00:48,691
Exactly.
1463
01:00:49,484 --> 01:00:51,361
I think Dad's really gonna love this.
1464
01:00:54,531 --> 01:00:55,532
[sniffing]
1465
01:00:58,493 --> 01:01:00,662
I think it's working. Places, everyone.
1466
01:01:04,541 --> 01:01:05,708
[sighs]
1467
01:01:08,503 --> 01:01:09,921
Oh.
1468
01:01:10,004 --> 01:01:12,590
Oh, God. I can taste it.
1469
01:01:12,674 --> 01:01:13,925
Oh.
1470
01:01:17,554 --> 01:01:18,555
What…
1471
01:01:19,347 --> 01:01:20,849
[sighs]
1472
01:01:22,934 --> 01:01:23,935
Oh, fuck.
1473
01:01:28,189 --> 01:01:29,649
[keys jingling]
1474
01:01:33,945 --> 01:01:36,197
-[lock clicks]
-[door opens]
1475
01:01:40,118 --> 01:01:41,452
Very cute.
1476
01:01:41,536 --> 01:01:43,913
Very funny. [scoffs]
1477
01:01:43,997 --> 01:01:45,290
I see what's going on here.
1478
01:01:45,373 --> 01:01:48,877
You guys think that I…
1479
01:01:50,044 --> 01:01:52,589
am a big, fat fucking asshole. Right?
1480
01:01:52,672 --> 01:01:54,507
You know everything about me.
1481
01:01:54,591 --> 01:01:57,302
You know all the things
that have happened in my life
1482
01:01:57,385 --> 01:01:59,762
with my dad and my ex-wife.
1483
01:02:01,181 --> 01:02:02,932
[crying]
1484
01:02:05,810 --> 01:02:08,813
Bravo. Bravo!
1485
01:02:08,897 --> 01:02:09,898
Oh, encore!
1486
01:02:09,981 --> 01:02:11,357
Just kidding!
1487
01:02:11,441 --> 01:02:12,734
It's done!
1488
01:02:12,817 --> 01:02:16,154
-We are done!
-[barking]
1489
01:02:16,237 --> 01:02:18,531
Wait, what are you-- [exclaims]
Oh, my God.
1490
01:02:18,615 --> 01:02:21,492
[exclaiming, groans]
1491
01:02:21,576 --> 01:02:23,036
Charge!
1492
01:02:23,119 --> 01:02:25,038
[dogs whooping, barking]
1493
01:02:25,121 --> 01:02:26,706
[sobbing]
1494
01:02:30,877 --> 01:02:32,629
[continues sobbing]
1495
01:02:35,215 --> 01:02:36,424
-[dogs clamoring]
-Ah, we did it!
1496
01:02:36,508 --> 01:02:38,218
I can't believe we shit that much!
1497
01:02:38,301 --> 01:02:39,969
Hunter's dick! Hunter's dick!
1498
01:02:40,053 --> 01:02:41,888
The hell with ya!
1499
01:02:41,971 --> 01:02:43,973
[panting]
1500
01:02:48,228 --> 01:02:49,646
[chuckles]
1501
01:02:51,272 --> 01:02:53,233
Thanks for your patience, folks.
Really.
1502
01:02:54,275 --> 01:02:55,318
[chuckles]
1503
01:02:55,401 --> 01:02:58,696
Ooh. I'm sorry, Diane. Uh…
1504
01:02:59,822 --> 01:03:02,742
[laughs]
"Then poop with me to freedom!"
1505
01:03:02,825 --> 01:03:04,702
-So cheesy, but I loved it.
-[Hunter laughs]
1506
01:03:04,786 --> 01:03:06,496
What a plan.
What a speech, Reg.
1507
01:03:06,579 --> 01:03:08,915
Actually, Reginald,
I preferred the first speech.
1508
01:03:08,998 --> 01:03:11,668
You know, the one where
you convinced all of us to do this,
1509
01:03:11,751 --> 01:03:14,629
back when you were focused
on biting Doug's dick off.
1510
01:03:14,712 --> 01:03:16,506
-[Maggie] Bug.
-Okay, okay, Bug. Look.
1511
01:03:17,423 --> 01:03:19,968
Oh! Look! The devil in the sky!
1512
01:03:20,051 --> 01:03:22,178
-We made it!
-Look at that fucking guy!
1513
01:03:22,262 --> 01:03:24,973
[Hunter] Burn in hell,
you motherfucking son of a bitch.
1514
01:03:25,056 --> 01:03:27,725
-I hate everything about him.
-The dumb-ass smile, those shitty pants.
1515
01:03:27,809 --> 01:03:29,853
I want to rip your nuts off
and make you watch!
1516
01:03:29,936 --> 01:03:31,521
Stupid hat and your stupid truck,
1517
01:03:31,604 --> 01:03:34,023
with the door on the other side
of the thing.
1518
01:03:34,107 --> 01:03:36,192
-I hate his face, personality.
-[Reggie] I wanna rip him a new asshole.
1519
01:03:36,276 --> 01:03:37,443
[Bug] I hate his bag, his shirt…
1520
01:03:37,527 --> 01:03:39,320
[Hunter] He smells like
a thousand different houses,
1521
01:03:39,404 --> 01:03:40,947
and I can't trust that!
1522
01:03:42,282 --> 01:03:44,492
Anyways, good job, guys.
The final landmark.
1523
01:03:44,576 --> 01:03:46,160
-Yeah. That's right.
-And right on schedule.
1524
01:03:46,244 --> 01:03:48,788
Yeah, barely. You remember
which way to go from here?
1525
01:03:48,872 --> 01:03:52,500
Uh, yeah, we just--
we just stay on this road for now.
1526
01:03:52,584 --> 01:03:54,002
-Good, let's move.
-All right.
1527
01:03:54,085 --> 01:03:55,795
-[Maggie] Great.
-W-Wait, wait, wait.
1528
01:03:55,879 --> 01:03:57,172
One second. Can't leave yet.
1529
01:03:57,255 --> 01:03:58,339
-Huh?
-What's up, Reg?
1530
01:03:58,923 --> 01:04:01,009
Where is it? Oh, there.
1531
01:04:03,219 --> 01:04:04,929
All right. Let's go, guys.
1532
01:04:05,013 --> 01:04:06,931
No, no, no. Hold on a second.
1533
01:04:07,015 --> 01:04:09,642
Why couldn't you leave
without the ball, Reggie?
1534
01:04:09,726 --> 01:04:11,769
I don't know, I just like tennis balls.
1535
01:04:11,853 --> 01:04:14,105
I know ball guys. You're not a ball guy.
1536
01:04:14,189 --> 01:04:16,232
Well, you don't know everything about me.
1537
01:04:16,316 --> 01:04:19,027
Well, I'm learning a little more
right now.
1538
01:04:19,110 --> 01:04:20,445
Drop the ball, Reg.
1539
01:04:20,528 --> 01:04:22,030
What? No.
1540
01:04:22,113 --> 01:04:24,115
Drop the fucking ball.
1541
01:04:24,199 --> 01:04:26,951
-Leave it!
-I'm not gonna leave the ball!
1542
01:04:27,035 --> 01:04:28,286
-Drop the ball!
-No.
1543
01:04:28,369 --> 01:04:29,579
Reggie, you drop that goddamn ball!
1544
01:04:29,662 --> 01:04:31,164
-No.
-You don't even like balls!
1545
01:04:31,247 --> 01:04:32,832
Doug likes balls!
1546
01:04:32,916 --> 01:04:34,250
-Doug?
-[Maggie gasps]
1547
01:04:34,334 --> 01:04:35,502
[Hunter] Oh, Reg.
1548
01:04:35,585 --> 01:04:37,253
I don't know why, but he does.
1549
01:04:37,337 --> 01:04:39,339
And when we play the game,
"Fetch and Fuck,"
1550
01:04:39,422 --> 01:04:42,425
it always ends when I come home
and bring him back a ball.
1551
01:04:42,509 --> 01:04:45,136
So I know he's expecting it,
and I'm not gonna let him down.
1552
01:04:45,220 --> 01:04:46,221
Goddamn it.
1553
01:04:46,304 --> 01:04:49,974
So when you told me you didn't know
how you were gonna bite Doug in the dick,
1554
01:04:50,058 --> 01:04:52,393
the real reason you don't know is because…
1555
01:04:52,477 --> 01:04:54,604
-You're not gonna bite Doug in the dick.
-[sighs]
1556
01:04:54,687 --> 01:04:58,441
Look, when we first set out,
I was totally into the plan.
1557
01:04:58,525 --> 01:05:01,611
But the closer we got to Doug,
the more I realized
1558
01:05:02,362 --> 01:05:03,988
that I miss him.
1559
01:05:04,072 --> 01:05:06,908
-And I think he misses me, too.
-Reggie, don't do this.
1560
01:05:06,991 --> 01:05:08,910
You deserve so much better than him.
1561
01:05:08,993 --> 01:05:11,663
I don't, Hunter. I really don't.
1562
01:05:11,746 --> 01:05:13,331
You know why Doug abandoned me?
1563
01:05:13,414 --> 01:05:15,792
Because I was the problem
in our relationship.
1564
01:05:15,875 --> 01:05:17,168
I ate his shoes.
1565
01:05:17,252 --> 01:05:20,296
I woke him up so early every day
because I needed to pee.
1566
01:05:20,380 --> 01:05:21,923
And I pooped on the rug.
1567
01:05:22,006 --> 01:05:23,925
We've all pooped on the rug, Reggie.
1568
01:05:24,008 --> 01:05:26,678
Did you roll in it, Maggie?
Did you roll in the poop?
1569
01:05:26,761 --> 01:05:28,930
Because guess what, I rolled in the poop.
1570
01:05:29,013 --> 01:05:30,390
Okay, that's not great.
1571
01:05:30,473 --> 01:05:32,851
God, I can't believe it took me this long
to realize this,
1572
01:05:32,934 --> 01:05:36,813
that every time he called me a bad dog,
he was absolutely right.
1573
01:05:36,896 --> 01:05:38,857
-It was all my fault.
-Wow.
1574
01:05:38,940 --> 01:05:40,984
[Reggie] Well,
I'm not gonna be a bad dog anymore.
1575
01:05:41,067 --> 01:05:42,569
It's time for me to be a good boy.
1576
01:05:42,652 --> 01:05:46,781
Jesus, I cannot believe
that I risked my life for this asshole
1577
01:05:46,865 --> 01:05:49,617
just so he could go back
and get with another asshole.
1578
01:05:49,701 --> 01:05:52,203
I did all of this for you, Reggie.
1579
01:05:52,287 --> 01:05:53,580
You didn't do this for me.
1580
01:05:53,663 --> 01:05:55,874
You said it yourself.
This isn't about Doug.
1581
01:05:55,957 --> 01:05:59,669
This is about every single one of them
who treated us like shit.
1582
01:05:59,752 --> 01:06:01,796
-This is about Emma!
-Reggie.
1583
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:02,881
Fuck you.
1584
01:06:02,964 --> 01:06:05,175
Hey. How about rule number three, Bug?
1585
01:06:05,258 --> 01:06:07,594
You're on your own?
Well, then what were we?
1586
01:06:07,677 --> 01:06:09,470
-Wow.
-I don't think you want to be a stray.
1587
01:06:09,554 --> 01:06:12,265
-I think you're sad and lonely.
-Can you believe this fucking guy?
1588
01:06:12,348 --> 01:06:14,434
And I think the only reason
you claim to hate humans
1589
01:06:14,517 --> 01:06:17,562
is because if you ever stopped
to think about what happened,
1590
01:06:17,645 --> 01:06:20,523
you'd realize that Emma didn't fuck it up.
1591
01:06:20,607 --> 01:06:22,483
-You did.
-Get the fuck away from me.
1592
01:06:22,567 --> 01:06:24,694
Believe me,
I fucked up with my owner, too.
1593
01:06:24,777 --> 01:06:27,447
So thank you for helping me realize
I was the problem.
1594
01:06:27,530 --> 01:06:32,160
Only difference is I have a chance
to fix it and not end up like you.
1595
01:06:32,243 --> 01:06:34,495
[growls, grunts]
1596
01:06:34,579 --> 01:06:36,831
-Hey, hey. What are you doing?
-Guys, stop it! Guys!
1597
01:06:36,915 --> 01:06:38,541
-[Hunter] Come on!
-[Bug] Give me this thing!
1598
01:06:38,625 --> 01:06:39,751
-Give it back!
-Bug!
1599
01:06:39,834 --> 01:06:41,544
[Reggie] Doug gave me that!
Give that back!
1600
01:06:41,628 --> 01:06:42,879
-I know he did!
-No!
1601
01:06:42,962 --> 01:06:45,298
-[Hunter] Stop it! Stop!
-[Maggie] Bug, don't do that.
1602
01:06:45,381 --> 01:06:47,509
That's what I think about you
and your owner.
1603
01:06:47,592 --> 01:06:49,511
Go fuck yourself, Reggie.
1604
01:06:49,594 --> 01:06:51,054
You two deserve each other.
1605
01:06:59,729 --> 01:07:01,898
-Reggie, don't do this!
-Reg.
1606
01:07:01,981 --> 01:07:03,816
I hope he's already left without you!
1607
01:07:09,405 --> 01:07:10,406
Man.
1608
01:07:11,449 --> 01:07:13,952
I really thought my dick
was gonna hook those keys.
1609
01:07:15,203 --> 01:07:18,206
Um,
but this is also a bummer.
1610
01:07:27,966 --> 01:07:29,509
Bug, we can't go back.
1611
01:07:29,592 --> 01:07:33,137
Sure we can. The devil in the sky.
Cone. Hamster wheel.
1612
01:07:33,221 --> 01:07:35,223
Just in the opposite order of how we came.
1613
01:07:35,306 --> 01:07:36,599
No dead bunnies this time.
1614
01:07:36,683 --> 01:07:38,726
Bug, she means
we can't leave him like this.
1615
01:07:38,810 --> 01:07:42,105
First off, Hunter, we didn't leave him.
He left us.
1616
01:07:42,188 --> 01:07:45,650
Second, we don't know the rest of the way
back to Doug's place, anyway.
1617
01:07:45,733 --> 01:07:47,944
And third,
I'm not just gonna hang around here
1618
01:07:48,027 --> 01:07:51,656
and let some dickless bird
swoop in on my girlfriend while I'm gone.
1619
01:07:51,739 --> 01:07:52,991
What?
1620
01:07:53,074 --> 01:07:55,410
Look, if there's one thing
that the asshole got right,
1621
01:07:55,493 --> 01:07:58,705
is that I have been wasting my time
with you guys.
1622
01:07:58,788 --> 01:08:01,249
I'm a stray,
and I should start acting like one.
1623
01:08:01,332 --> 01:08:04,002
-Wait, where are you going?
-I don't know. To go do some "nunya."
1624
01:08:04,085 --> 01:08:05,295
What's "nunya"?
1625
01:08:05,378 --> 01:08:06,671
Nunya fucking business.
1626
01:08:06,754 --> 01:08:08,756
Oh, yeah. I walked right into that one.
1627
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:11,759
-[sighs] Let's go home, Hunter.
-[Hunter sighs]
1628
01:08:14,888 --> 01:08:16,930
Talking about I'm lonely.
Talking about I'm scared.
1629
01:08:17,015 --> 01:08:19,184
Fuck does he think he's talking about?
1630
01:08:19,267 --> 01:08:21,060
I'm gonna tell you right now,
I ain't lonely
1631
01:08:21,144 --> 01:08:22,895
and I damn sure ain't scared.
[gasps]
1632
01:08:22,979 --> 01:08:23,979
Fuck you, leaf!
1633
01:08:24,063 --> 01:08:25,982
[scoffs] End up like me?
1634
01:08:26,064 --> 01:08:28,484
I pissed on two cars
and three houses last week.
1635
01:08:28,568 --> 01:08:31,571
That's right, I'm a three-year-old dog
and I'm already a homeowner.
1636
01:08:31,654 --> 01:08:34,782
I'm living the motherfucking dream.
And I'm not scared to be alone.
1637
01:08:34,866 --> 01:08:36,868
Matter of fact,
I ain't scared of anything.
1638
01:08:36,951 --> 01:08:38,203
[twig snaps]
1639
01:08:38,286 --> 01:08:39,203
Who's that?
1640
01:08:40,121 --> 01:08:41,872
Don't come closer! I-I, uh…
1641
01:08:41,956 --> 01:08:43,457
I'm crazy! I fuck trash!
1642
01:08:45,710 --> 01:08:47,127
[growling]
1643
01:08:49,714 --> 01:08:51,049
[growling]
1644
01:08:55,845 --> 01:08:56,720
[barking]
1645
01:08:59,307 --> 01:09:02,393
Nope, not doing this.
Just walk away, Bug.
1646
01:09:02,477 --> 01:09:05,438
Little girls like Emma suck
and you know it.
1647
01:09:05,522 --> 01:09:07,148
[whimpering]
1648
01:09:10,401 --> 01:09:11,653
[crying]
1649
01:09:11,736 --> 01:09:14,072
Don't listen to her, man.
Don't listen to her.
1650
01:09:14,154 --> 01:09:17,408
Another fucking narcissist
putting her needs above your own.
1651
01:09:17,492 --> 01:09:21,246
You've been down this fucking road before,
man, just-- just…
1652
01:09:21,328 --> 01:09:23,247
[sighs] Goddamn it.
1653
01:09:31,171 --> 01:09:32,756
Hey, there. [chuckles]
1654
01:09:32,841 --> 01:09:35,218
What are you doing
out here all alone?
1655
01:09:36,176 --> 01:09:37,845
Did you get lost like me?
1656
01:09:37,929 --> 01:09:38,930
It's gonna be okay.
1657
01:09:39,013 --> 01:09:41,558
Holy shit. Wait! You're the girl
that everyone's looking for.
1658
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:42,767
Holy shit!
1659
01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:45,478
I found her. I found her!
1660
01:09:45,562 --> 01:09:46,770
Somebody, please help!
1661
01:09:46,854 --> 01:09:48,939
-I found the girl!
-That's Bug!
1662
01:09:49,023 --> 01:09:50,483
Bug, where are you?
1663
01:09:50,567 --> 01:09:51,651
Let's go!
1664
01:09:55,405 --> 01:09:56,364
I see him!
1665
01:09:56,447 --> 01:09:57,574
[barks]
1666
01:09:57,657 --> 01:09:59,284
I can't believe you found the girl.
1667
01:09:59,367 --> 01:10:00,368
Oh, my God, Bug!
1668
01:10:00,451 --> 01:10:03,121
Come on, we gotta get her some help.
She's in bad shape.
1669
01:10:03,204 --> 01:10:05,999
-[Maggie] Help! Over here!
-[Hunter] Over here! We found her! Help!
1670
01:10:06,082 --> 01:10:07,750
-Help!
-Rolf! You dickhead!
1671
01:10:07,834 --> 01:10:09,335
-Help! Help!
-Come on! Help!
1672
01:10:09,419 --> 01:10:12,046
[Bug, Maggie, Hunter shouting in distance]
1673
01:10:12,130 --> 01:10:13,965
Lost kid! Let's move!
1674
01:10:14,048 --> 01:10:15,133
-Over here!
-Help!
1675
01:10:15,216 --> 01:10:16,384
-Here they come.
-[Hunter] Over here.
1676
01:10:16,467 --> 01:10:18,511
Munchkin, check the girl.
1677
01:10:18,595 --> 01:10:20,972
Hell of a job, Hunter,
and small dogs.
1678
01:10:21,055 --> 01:10:22,891
-Didn't know you had it in ya.
-Oh, my God.
1679
01:10:22,974 --> 01:10:25,185
Riley! Riley, here you are.
1680
01:10:25,268 --> 01:10:26,394
Good dog, good dog.
1681
01:10:26,477 --> 01:10:27,478
You're okay.
1682
01:10:27,562 --> 01:10:30,565
I'm not even gonna ask
how you ended up back in these woods.
1683
01:10:30,648 --> 01:10:31,816
All I'll ask is
1684
01:10:31,900 --> 01:10:33,693
how can I repay you?
1685
01:10:35,236 --> 01:10:37,155
You can help save my best friend.
1686
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:42,160
Oh, what am I gonna say?
What am I gonna say?
1687
01:10:42,785 --> 01:10:44,704
Okay, I should probably rehearse this.
1688
01:10:45,538 --> 01:10:46,706
Hey, Doug.
1689
01:10:46,789 --> 01:10:47,957
[imitating Doug] "Hey, shitbag."
1690
01:10:48,041 --> 01:10:50,376
{\an8}[normal] What've you been up to?
[imitating Doug] "Mostly masturbating."
1691
01:10:50,460 --> 01:10:52,962
{\an8}[normal] Oh. Cool, classic Doug.
1692
01:10:53,046 --> 01:10:55,006
So, I owe you an apology.
1693
01:10:55,089 --> 01:10:56,299
[imitating Doug] "Okay."
1694
01:10:56,382 --> 01:10:58,593
[normal] You were totally
right to ditch me in that alley.
1695
01:10:58,676 --> 01:11:00,261
I mean, I was terrible.
1696
01:11:00,345 --> 01:11:01,596
{\an8}[imitating Doug] "Agreed."
1697
01:11:01,679 --> 01:11:06,476
[normal] But I was wondering if we could
maybe make some changes when I'm back?
1698
01:11:06,559 --> 01:11:08,728
Like, maybe we could do walks now,
1699
01:11:08,811 --> 01:11:11,564
and possibly increase pee breaks
to twice a day?
1700
01:11:11,648 --> 01:11:14,150
And maybe, if you feel like it,
1701
01:11:14,234 --> 01:11:16,653
you could call me a good boy
every once in a while?
1702
01:11:21,616 --> 01:11:23,409
Ugh. This is stupid.
1703
01:11:27,622 --> 01:11:30,500
What do you mean you can't track him down?
You're sniff dogs. That's what you do.
1704
01:11:30,583 --> 01:11:32,335
Yeah, come on, Rolf.
They taught us that.
1705
01:11:32,418 --> 01:11:35,547
It's impossible. We can't track him
without knowing his scent first.
1706
01:11:35,630 --> 01:11:37,340
Did you get any whiff of him yesterday,
Munchkin?
1707
01:11:37,423 --> 01:11:39,175
-Nothing I can recall, sir.
-[Maggie] Wait!
1708
01:11:39,259 --> 01:11:40,927
-The bandana!
-Come again?
1709
01:11:41,010 --> 01:11:43,388
We can get his scent from the bandana.
Let's go! Let's go!
1710
01:11:43,471 --> 01:11:44,472
Nice, Maggie.
1711
01:11:44,556 --> 01:11:45,682
Rolf?
1712
01:11:45,765 --> 01:11:46,766
Hey, Rolf!
1713
01:11:46,850 --> 01:11:49,435
-[Maggie] There it is!
-[Hunter] There! There it is! There it is!
1714
01:11:50,979 --> 01:11:52,146
Way to go, Maggie.
1715
01:11:52,897 --> 01:11:55,817
Halt! Good God, what's that smell?
1716
01:11:55,900 --> 01:11:57,318
Can you smell Reggie off that thing?
1717
01:11:57,402 --> 01:11:58,319
[sniffs]
1718
01:11:58,403 --> 01:12:01,114
I'm not getting any dog off of this, sir.
Just a lot of urine.
1719
01:12:01,197 --> 01:12:02,574
-[Bug] Oh, huh. Oh, wow.
-[Maggie] Huh.
1720
01:12:02,657 --> 01:12:04,284
-That's weird.
-[Hunter] It was Bug.
1721
01:12:04,367 --> 01:12:07,871
And from the stain patterns, I can tell
this was a very small pee stream,
1722
01:12:07,954 --> 01:12:10,915
indicative of a dog with an… [chuckles]
…unbelievably tiny penis.
1723
01:12:10,999 --> 01:12:13,084
-Again, Bug.
-It ain't indicative of shit.
1724
01:12:13,168 --> 01:12:15,545
If anything,
it is indicative of a well-shaped,
1725
01:12:15,628 --> 01:12:18,464
sensual penis
that transcends dick size.
1726
01:12:18,548 --> 01:12:20,800
Lots of TDU:
Tiny Dick Urine over here.
1727
01:12:20,884 --> 01:12:23,761
It would take a miracle to pick up
any dog scent off of that thing.
1728
01:12:23,845 --> 01:12:25,722
There you are.
What's gotten into you guys?
1729
01:12:25,805 --> 01:12:27,473
-[sniffing]
-[Rolf] Fuck are you doing?
1730
01:12:27,557 --> 01:12:28,850
You'll taint the smell.
1731
01:12:28,933 --> 01:12:32,145
I'm doing your job.
Now back the fuck off, Adolf.
1732
01:12:32,228 --> 01:12:34,272
-Adolf?
-It's 'cause you're a German Sh--
1733
01:12:34,355 --> 01:12:36,482
-Oh, whatever.
-I get it now. Hitler reference.
1734
01:12:36,566 --> 01:12:37,817
[sniffing]
1735
01:12:37,901 --> 01:12:39,777
Go, Maggie! Go, Maggie!
1736
01:12:43,740 --> 01:12:44,949
I'm picking up…
1737
01:12:45,033 --> 01:12:47,493
Bitches of the night. Pizza. Vomit pizza?
1738
01:12:47,577 --> 01:12:49,204
Hot dogs. All of our pee.
1739
01:12:49,287 --> 01:12:51,206
Eagle feathers. Dennis Quaid?
1740
01:12:51,289 --> 01:12:53,249
Squirrel sex.
Dead bunnies that I know nothing about.
1741
01:12:53,333 --> 01:12:54,792
Hunter's boner. Ooh, lots of shit.
1742
01:12:54,876 --> 01:12:57,045
A tiny Boston Terrier dick and…
1743
01:12:57,128 --> 01:12:58,838
Reggie! I got him!
1744
01:12:58,922 --> 01:13:00,423
-Yes, Maggie!
-Let's move!
1745
01:13:00,507 --> 01:13:02,509
[Hunter] Come on, let's go!
Thanks, Rolf!
1746
01:13:02,592 --> 01:13:04,761
Except for when you fucked us over.
1747
01:13:04,844 --> 01:13:06,054
Good luck, soldiers!
1748
01:13:06,137 --> 01:13:08,431
And sorry I'm such a fucking asshole!
1749
01:13:08,515 --> 01:13:10,225
I should really work on myself.
1750
01:13:37,502 --> 01:13:38,837
[door creaks]
1751
01:14:02,694 --> 01:14:04,529
[Doug] Oh, thanks for
shitting on the carpet!
1752
01:14:04,612 --> 01:14:06,865
The fuck are you thinking? Huh?
1753
01:14:06,948 --> 01:14:09,993
Oh, you're such a stupid
little piece of shit.
1754
01:14:18,585 --> 01:14:20,879
Can you just leave me the fuck alone?
1755
01:14:21,504 --> 01:14:23,089
Bad dog!
1756
01:14:27,594 --> 01:14:29,846
-[Reggie barking]
-[Doug imitating barking]
1757
01:14:29,929 --> 01:14:32,682
[Doug] That's what you fucking
sound like, you piece of shit.
1758
01:14:59,959 --> 01:15:02,879
Okay, one last shit on the carpet,
and then I'm out.
1759
01:15:02,962 --> 01:15:04,589
[door creaking]
1760
01:15:15,975 --> 01:15:17,018
[Doug] Mmm.
1761
01:15:23,650 --> 01:15:24,567
Hey, Doug.
1762
01:15:25,944 --> 01:15:27,195
Fuck!
1763
01:15:27,278 --> 01:15:29,322
It's me, Reggie.
1764
01:15:29,405 --> 01:15:32,617
A-And look, I-I know you can't understand
what I'm saying right now.
1765
01:15:32,700 --> 01:15:34,744
No, no, no, this is not happening.
1766
01:15:34,827 --> 01:15:36,704
But I just wanna say how I feel.
1767
01:15:37,497 --> 01:15:39,541
I know you didn't like me.
1768
01:15:39,624 --> 01:15:41,334
I mean, obviously.
1769
01:15:41,417 --> 01:15:43,044
You abandoned me in the street.
1770
01:15:43,711 --> 01:15:48,174
But just know that I did everything
I could to make you feel loved.
1771
01:15:48,258 --> 01:15:53,513
And I thought if I loved you enough,
then maybe you would love me back.
1772
01:15:54,889 --> 01:15:56,683
But then I met new friends.
1773
01:15:56,766 --> 01:16:01,145
I met the sweetest big dog,
with just the nicest dick.
1774
01:16:01,229 --> 01:16:04,148
The most talented, baddest bitch
in the world,
1775
01:16:04,232 --> 01:16:06,609
and the tiniest, scrappiest,
1776
01:16:06,693 --> 01:16:10,446
funniest best friend I could ever ask for.
1777
01:16:10,530 --> 01:16:14,868
Oh, and I met my son too, who's a gnome,
and we had sex, but whatever.
1778
01:16:15,451 --> 01:16:20,540
The point is, those friends showed me
what real love feels like.
1779
01:16:20,623 --> 01:16:23,084
And it's nothing like what we had.
1780
01:16:23,168 --> 01:16:26,421
Now I know that I wasn't a bad dog.
1781
01:16:26,504 --> 01:16:29,549
You were a bad man.
1782
01:16:29,632 --> 01:16:31,676
Bad man! Bad man!
1783
01:16:31,759 --> 01:16:32,844
[barking]
1784
01:16:32,927 --> 01:16:34,179
[sighs]
1785
01:16:35,930 --> 01:16:37,640
Goodbye, Doug.
1786
01:16:37,724 --> 01:16:39,142
And fuck you.
1787
01:16:46,149 --> 01:16:51,196
Now what do I gotta do
to get you the fuck out of my life?
1788
01:16:51,279 --> 01:16:53,406
I mean, how do you not get it, man?
1789
01:16:53,489 --> 01:16:56,910
I drove you three hours away.
1790
01:16:56,993 --> 01:17:00,663
I mean, how could I make it any more clear
that I don't care about you?
1791
01:17:00,747 --> 01:17:02,832
I don't fucking love you.
1792
01:17:02,916 --> 01:17:04,667
Goodbye forever, shitbag.
1793
01:17:06,336 --> 01:17:09,797
Well, at least I found
someone who loved me.
1794
01:17:09,881 --> 01:17:11,633
Pee-FFs forever.
1795
01:17:11,716 --> 01:17:13,343
[barking]
1796
01:17:13,426 --> 01:17:14,677
[Hunter grunts]
1797
01:17:14,761 --> 01:17:16,513
[all] Pee-FFs forever!
1798
01:17:16,596 --> 01:17:20,225
The fuck? Who the hell are these dogs?
1799
01:17:20,308 --> 01:17:22,769
Jesus Christ,
it's like a fucking dog movie in here.
1800
01:17:22,852 --> 01:17:25,230
[growling]
1801
01:17:25,313 --> 01:17:26,523
Oh, yeah?
1802
01:17:26,606 --> 01:17:29,275
The fuck are you gonna do about it,
cone boy?
1803
01:17:39,327 --> 01:17:40,328
Oh, shit.
1804
01:17:40,411 --> 01:17:42,497
[growls, barks]
1805
01:17:44,374 --> 01:17:46,668
[snarling]
1806
01:17:46,751 --> 01:17:47,961
Reggie, are you okay?
1807
01:17:48,044 --> 01:17:49,879
Listen, Bug,
I-I'm so sorry for what I said. I--
1808
01:17:49,963 --> 01:17:51,005
Don't worry about that right now.
1809
01:17:51,089 --> 01:17:53,132
Yeah, we've got a dick to rip off.
1810
01:17:53,216 --> 01:17:55,093
-[grunting]
-[snarling]
1811
01:17:57,512 --> 01:17:59,180
Get the fuck off me!
1812
01:18:00,139 --> 01:18:02,267
Fuck. What the-- Get off me!
1813
01:18:02,350 --> 01:18:04,185
Let go! Goddamn it!
1814
01:18:04,269 --> 01:18:07,313
Ow! Fuck, my knee! Goddamn it!
1815
01:18:07,397 --> 01:18:09,691
-[barks]
-Oh, you want some, huh?
1816
01:18:09,774 --> 01:18:11,109
[barking]
1817
01:18:12,986 --> 01:18:14,654
Oh, goddamn it!
1818
01:18:14,737 --> 01:18:17,156
You little fuckers
owe me a microwave.
1819
01:18:17,240 --> 01:18:18,992
-[barking]
-Eat some foot!
1820
01:18:20,159 --> 01:18:22,245
Ah! My foot!
1821
01:18:22,328 --> 01:18:24,372
[panting]
1822
01:18:26,791 --> 01:18:27,834
Shitbag!
1823
01:18:30,837 --> 01:18:34,090
[grunting]
1824
01:18:35,091 --> 01:18:36,301
[screams]
1825
01:18:37,343 --> 01:18:39,429
Oh! Fuck, my back!
1826
01:18:39,512 --> 01:18:40,972
-Guys! We should get out of here.
-[Doug] Fuck!
1827
01:18:41,639 --> 01:18:44,058
-[Hunter] Reggie!
-Got you, you little shit!
1828
01:18:44,142 --> 01:18:48,188
Well, look at you.
You got yourself some friends?
1829
01:18:48,271 --> 01:18:50,899
Let me tell you furry fucks something.
1830
01:18:51,816 --> 01:18:55,278
Your little buddy here ruined my life.
1831
01:18:55,361 --> 01:18:58,740
Before him,
I had a fucking good thing going.
1832
01:18:58,823 --> 01:19:00,700
A roof over my head,
1833
01:19:00,783 --> 01:19:03,203
checks from my mom, two girlfriends.
1834
01:19:03,286 --> 01:19:06,706
Now I have no house, no girlfriends,
1835
01:19:06,789 --> 01:19:08,625
and I have to masturbate all day.
1836
01:19:09,209 --> 01:19:12,086
All right?
This dog turned me into a fucking loser.
1837
01:19:12,170 --> 01:19:13,671
Why's he talking so much?
1838
01:19:14,422 --> 01:19:17,634
You ever see the end of Marley & Me? Huh?
1839
01:19:17,717 --> 01:19:20,261
Yeah, me neither. It's fucking boring.
1840
01:19:21,304 --> 01:19:24,682
But I do know
that the dog dies in the end.
1841
01:19:24,766 --> 01:19:25,767
[barking]
1842
01:19:25,850 --> 01:19:29,229
I'm gonna enjoy
squeezing the life out of you…
1843
01:19:29,312 --> 01:19:30,897
-[Bug] Maggie, Hunter get in position.
-Got it.
1844
01:19:30,980 --> 01:19:32,815
-[Hunter] Copy.
-…cause you squeezed the life out of me.
1845
01:19:33,900 --> 01:19:35,235
Wait, what's happening?
1846
01:19:35,318 --> 01:19:37,153
What are they doing
getting in a line like that?
1847
01:19:39,989 --> 01:19:43,201
[distorted] Fuck you!
1848
01:19:48,706 --> 01:19:51,543
["Wrecking Ball" playing]
1849
01:19:56,130 --> 01:19:58,424
♪ We clawed, we chained ♪
1850
01:19:58,508 --> 01:20:00,051
♪ Our hearts in vain ♪
1851
01:20:00,134 --> 01:20:03,596
♪ We jumped, never asking why ♪
1852
01:20:03,680 --> 01:20:08,101
♪ We kissed
I fell under your spell ♪
1853
01:20:08,184 --> 01:20:11,855
♪ A love no one could deny ♪
1854
01:20:12,522 --> 01:20:14,274
♪ Don't you ever say… ♪
1855
01:20:14,357 --> 01:20:17,151
Bad fucking dog!
1856
01:20:17,735 --> 01:20:20,029
You're goddamn right.
1857
01:20:20,822 --> 01:20:22,740
♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪
1858
01:20:22,824 --> 01:20:24,450
[distorted screaming]
1859
01:20:24,534 --> 01:20:28,454
♪ I never hit so hard in love ♪
1860
01:20:28,538 --> 01:20:32,458
♪ All I wanted was to break your walls ♪
1861
01:20:32,542 --> 01:20:34,794
♪ All you ever did was ♪
1862
01:20:34,878 --> 01:20:36,337
♪ Wreck me ♪
1863
01:20:36,421 --> 01:20:38,506
[distorted screaming]
1864
01:20:38,590 --> 01:20:41,426
♪ You wreck me ♪
1865
01:20:41,509 --> 01:20:45,346
♪ I put you high up in the sky ♪
1866
01:20:45,430 --> 01:20:49,475
♪ And now you're not coming down ♪
1867
01:20:49,559 --> 01:20:53,521
♪ It slowly turned
You let me burn ♪
1868
01:20:53,605 --> 01:20:57,025
♪ And now we're ashes on the ground ♪
1869
01:20:58,067 --> 01:21:02,155
♪ Don't you ever say
I just walked away ♪
1870
01:21:02,238 --> 01:21:04,824
♪ I will always want you ♪
1871
01:21:04,908 --> 01:21:08,703
♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪
1872
01:21:08,786 --> 01:21:12,248
♪ Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung ♪
1873
01:21:12,332 --> 01:21:15,877
♪ Left me crashing in a blazing fall ♪
1874
01:21:16,628 --> 01:21:21,216
♪ All you ever did was wreck me ♪
1875
01:21:21,299 --> 01:21:24,928
♪ Yeah, you, you wreck me ♪
1876
01:21:25,011 --> 01:21:28,181
[whimpering]
1877
01:21:28,264 --> 01:21:31,059
♪ I never meant to start a war ♪
1878
01:21:32,185 --> 01:21:35,313
♪ I just wanted you to let me in… ♪
1879
01:21:35,396 --> 01:21:38,024
Uh… Yeah, we should probably leave.
1880
01:21:38,107 --> 01:21:40,527
Oh, yeah? We gotta go right now?
I was kind of enjoying this.
1881
01:21:40,610 --> 01:21:42,153
♪ I guess I should've let you win… ♪
1882
01:21:42,237 --> 01:21:45,323
[Bug] Yo, Reg, I gotta be honest with you.
I ain't think you was gonna do that shit.
1883
01:21:45,406 --> 01:21:46,658
[Maggie] You really committed to that.
1884
01:21:46,741 --> 01:21:48,326
[Hunter] More graphic
than I was expecting.
1885
01:21:48,409 --> 01:21:49,536
[Maggie] That was almost too far.
1886
01:21:49,619 --> 01:21:52,205
[Bug] You one-upped me for sure.
I mean, I bit a girl's ankle.
1887
01:21:52,288 --> 01:21:54,624
You ripped a man's penis off.
1888
01:22:04,676 --> 01:22:06,803
["Follow You" playing]
1889
01:22:10,181 --> 01:22:12,976
[Reggie]
Today is gonna be the best day ever.
1890
01:22:13,726 --> 01:22:17,647
How do I know that?
Because every day is the best day ever.
1891
01:22:17,730 --> 01:22:21,192
Hunter went back to his job
at the old human home.
1892
01:22:21,276 --> 01:22:22,861
And he didn't even need his cone.
1893
01:22:22,944 --> 01:22:25,822
Hey, Cone of Shame!
Where's your lampshade? [laughs]
1894
01:22:25,905 --> 01:22:28,241
Actually, Bubsy,
I don't need that cone anymore,
1895
01:22:28,324 --> 01:22:30,618
just like I don't need
any of your shit anymore.
1896
01:22:30,702 --> 01:22:32,287
-Fuck you, Bubsy!
-Wow.
1897
01:22:32,370 --> 01:22:34,998
I had no idea you felt that way.
I'm sorry.
1898
01:22:35,081 --> 01:22:36,082
I-I'm just gonna go…
1899
01:22:37,208 --> 01:22:39,043
fuck your mother! [laughs]
1900
01:22:39,127 --> 01:22:40,170
Fuck outta here!
1901
01:22:40,253 --> 01:22:43,798
[Reggie] And he finally found the courage
to let Maggie know how he feels about her.
1902
01:22:43,882 --> 01:22:46,009
And now they have sex all the time!
1903
01:22:46,092 --> 01:22:47,802
Regular style, of course.
1904
01:22:47,886 --> 01:22:49,554
Attaboy, Hunter.
1905
01:22:50,346 --> 01:22:52,056
Reminds me of when I was young.
1906
01:22:53,391 --> 01:22:55,143
You used to fuck dogs?
1907
01:22:55,935 --> 01:22:56,936
What?
1908
01:22:57,520 --> 01:23:00,899
[Reggie] And Maggie, well,
she finally got the owner she deserves.
1909
01:23:01,482 --> 01:23:03,943
Maggie's part of the detection squad now.
1910
01:23:04,027 --> 01:23:06,029
And she's the best sniffer on the team.
1911
01:23:06,112 --> 01:23:08,489
I love the costume you gave her.
1912
01:23:08,573 --> 01:23:11,534
-So good.
-Uniform, for work.
1913
01:23:11,618 --> 01:23:13,870
[Reggie] And Bug's the same old Bug,
1914
01:23:13,953 --> 01:23:16,122
with one pretty big exception.
1915
01:23:16,206 --> 01:23:18,249
He's changed his stance on people.
1916
01:23:18,333 --> 01:23:19,459
[Riley laughing]
1917
01:23:19,542 --> 01:23:22,462
[Reggie]
Or at least, one very special person.
1918
01:23:22,545 --> 01:23:25,256
-[Bug barking]
-[Riley laughing]
1919
01:23:25,340 --> 01:23:27,759
♪ And I'll show you how to love ♪
1920
01:23:28,760 --> 01:23:30,178
♪ To love ♪
1921
01:23:30,261 --> 01:23:33,890
[Reggie] Sure, joining a family was
a bit of a learning experience for him.
1922
01:23:37,268 --> 01:23:38,937
Oh, baby, I love this.
1923
01:23:39,020 --> 01:23:41,272
Your cushions are so much tighter
than Dolores's.
1924
01:23:41,356 --> 01:23:43,358
And what is this fabric, faux suede?
1925
01:23:44,901 --> 01:23:46,778
-Hey.
-Oh, hey, Kevin.
1926
01:23:47,695 --> 01:23:49,864
Come on, buddy. No humping the couch.
1927
01:23:51,491 --> 01:23:53,910
Nothing will ever come between us.
1928
01:23:55,119 --> 01:23:57,497
Yep, life is pretty damn great.
1929
01:23:58,164 --> 01:23:59,582
So we'll see you guys tonight?
1930
01:23:59,666 --> 01:24:01,376
-Yes! Scraps night.
-You know it! Scraps night!
1931
01:24:05,296 --> 01:24:08,341
[Reggie]
As for me, I chose to stay a stray.
1932
01:24:08,424 --> 01:24:10,301
And I couldn't be happier.
1933
01:24:10,802 --> 01:24:14,597
And for any dogs in need,
I'll be there to show them the ropes.
1934
01:24:15,306 --> 01:24:17,141
Hey, there. I'm Reggie. You got a name?
1935
01:24:17,225 --> 01:24:19,602
Oh, hi. I'm-- I'm Shitstain.
1936
01:24:19,686 --> 01:24:22,230
No, no, no. That's not your name.
Trust me.
1937
01:24:23,273 --> 01:24:27,694
Rule number one of being a stray:
You want something, you pee on it.
1938
01:24:27,777 --> 01:24:29,821
And whatever you pee on is yours.
1939
01:24:29,904 --> 01:24:32,532
-Oh. How 'bout this lamppost?
-That's mine.
1940
01:24:32,615 --> 01:24:34,033
Oh. Okay.
1941
01:24:34,117 --> 01:24:36,786
Rule number two: You can pretty much
hump whatever you want.
1942
01:24:36,870 --> 01:24:38,705
-Cool!
-Awesome!
1943
01:24:38,788 --> 01:24:42,876
Rule number three
is the most important rule, bar none.
1944
01:24:43,835 --> 01:24:45,962
You are not alone.
1945
01:24:47,630 --> 01:24:50,633
[Reggie] You know, I used to think
my place was by Doug's side.
1946
01:24:50,717 --> 01:24:53,303
But now I know my place is wherever
I want it to be.
1947
01:24:53,386 --> 01:24:56,264
And I've never felt more at home.
1948
01:24:56,806 --> 01:25:00,393
'Cause I know a guy
who lets me crash whenever I want.
1949
01:25:01,019 --> 01:25:02,687
-Hey, loser.
-Hey, fuck face.
1950
01:25:04,522 --> 01:25:06,232
[Riley giggling]
1951
01:25:06,316 --> 01:25:08,151
Liam, the cute scruffy dog is back!
1952
01:25:10,486 --> 01:25:12,071
[laughter]
1953
01:25:12,822 --> 01:25:13,907
[barks]
1954
01:25:14,991 --> 01:25:16,826
Isn't this the life?
1955
01:25:16,910 --> 01:25:18,203
[sighs]
1956
01:25:18,786 --> 01:25:20,580
[Liam] Who's a good boy?
1957
01:25:20,663 --> 01:25:21,998
You're a good boy.
1958
01:25:22,916 --> 01:25:24,584
Such a good boy.
1959
01:25:25,210 --> 01:25:27,462
[Reggie] I've learned a lot since Doug.
1960
01:25:27,545 --> 01:25:29,714
Sure, there's some bad people
in this world,
1961
01:25:29,797 --> 01:25:33,426
but even Bug would agree,
the good ones are out there.
1962
01:25:33,510 --> 01:25:36,054
You just gotta keep your eyes open.
1963
01:25:36,137 --> 01:25:37,680
Hey, kids!
1964
01:25:37,764 --> 01:25:39,682
-[Bug] I'll rip your lungs out.
-[Reggie] Fuck you, mailman!
1965
01:25:39,766 --> 01:25:41,434
These guys have a lot of energy,
don't they?
1966
01:25:41,518 --> 01:25:44,103
-I'm gonna eat your fucking nut sack.
-Get out of here, you evil little shit!
1967
01:25:44,187 --> 01:25:47,190
-I'll give you to the count of three…
-You stupid fucking evil devil!
1968
01:25:47,273 --> 01:25:49,609
…and then I'm gonna jump this fence
and skull-fuck you to death!
1969
01:25:49,692 --> 01:25:51,611
[Reggie] You're just as bad
as your friend in the sky!
1970
01:25:51,694 --> 01:25:54,948
-[Bug] Yeah, yeah, you smart! You smart!
-[Reggie] You fuckwad! Go! Go! Go!
1971
01:25:55,031 --> 01:25:56,282
[Bug] Keep walking! Keep walking!
1972
01:25:56,366 --> 01:25:58,284
[Reggie] Don't even think about
coming back here tomorrow!
1973
01:25:58,368 --> 01:25:59,369
Fuck off!
1974
01:25:59,452 --> 01:26:01,412
[Bug] Yeah, bitch. You don't want to
get this guy angry.
1975
01:26:01,496 --> 01:26:05,375
[Reggie] I may be small,
but you have no idea what I'm capable of!
1976
01:26:06,167 --> 01:26:07,585
Just ask Doug!
1977
01:26:08,461 --> 01:26:11,172
I ripped the guy's cock off!
1978
01:26:11,256 --> 01:26:13,800
♪ This is for the Gz
And this is for the hustlas ♪
1979
01:26:13,883 --> 01:26:16,302
♪ This is for the hustlas
Now back to the Gz ♪
1980
01:26:16,386 --> 01:26:19,138
♪ This is for the Gz
And this is for the hustlas ♪
1981
01:26:19,222 --> 01:26:21,766
♪ This is for the hustlas
Now back to the Gz ♪
1982
01:26:21,850 --> 01:26:24,060
♪ It's 1-9-9-tre
So let me just play ♪
1983
01:26:24,143 --> 01:26:25,478
♪ It's Snoop Dogg, I'm on the mic ♪
1984
01:26:25,562 --> 01:26:27,230
-♪ I'm back with Dr. Dre ♪
-[eagle screeches]
1985
01:26:27,313 --> 01:26:29,399
♪ But this time I'ma hit
Yo' ass with a touch ♪
1986
01:26:29,482 --> 01:26:32,151
♪ To leave motherfuckers in a daze
Fucked up ♪
1987
01:26:32,235 --> 01:26:34,696
♪ So sit back, relax
New jacks get smacked ♪
1988
01:26:34,779 --> 01:26:37,156
♪ It's Snoop Doggy Dogg
I'm at the top of the stack ♪
1989
01:26:37,240 --> 01:26:39,993
♪ I don't lack for a second
And I'm still checkin' ♪
1990
01:26:40,076 --> 01:26:42,537
♪ The dopest motherfucker
That ya hearin' on the record ♪
1991
01:26:42,620 --> 01:26:44,664
♪ It's me, ya see, S-N-double-O-P ♪
1992
01:26:44,747 --> 01:26:47,333
♪ D-O-double-G-Y, the D-O-double-G ♪
1993
01:26:47,417 --> 01:26:50,044
{\an8}♪ I'm fly as a falcon
Soarin' through the sky ♪
1994
01:26:50,128 --> 01:26:52,839
{\an8}-[eagle screeches]
-♪ And I'm high till I dizzie, rizzide ♪
1995
01:26:52,922 --> 01:26:55,925
♪ So check it, I get busy
I make your head dizzy ♪
1996
01:26:56,009 --> 01:26:58,303
♪ I blow up your mouth
Like I was Dizzy Gillespie ♪
1997
01:26:58,386 --> 01:27:00,263
♪ I'm crazy, you can't phase me ♪
1998
01:27:00,346 --> 01:27:02,265
♪ I'm the S, oh, yes, I'm fresh ♪
1999
01:27:02,348 --> 01:27:03,516
♪ I don't fuck with the stress ♪
2000
01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:06,102
♪ I'm all about the chronic
Bionic, ya see ♪
2001
01:27:06,186 --> 01:27:09,230
♪ Every single day
Chillin' with the D-O-double-G's ♪
2002
01:27:09,314 --> 01:27:11,524
♪ P-O-U-N-D, that's my clique, my crew ♪
2003
01:27:11,608 --> 01:27:14,360
♪ You fuck with us
We gots to fuck you up ♪
2004
01:27:14,444 --> 01:27:16,196
♪ I thought you knew, but yet and still ♪
2005
01:27:16,279 --> 01:27:19,449
♪ You wanna get real
Now it's time to peel, you say chill ♪
2006
01:27:19,532 --> 01:27:21,659
♪ And feel the motherfuckin' realism ♪
2007
01:27:21,743 --> 01:27:23,036
♪ Snoop Doggy Dogg is on the mic ♪
2008
01:27:23,119 --> 01:27:24,579
♪ I'm hittin' hard as steel ♪
2009
01:27:24,662 --> 01:27:27,665
♪ This is for the Gz
And this is for the hustlas ♪
2010
01:27:27,749 --> 01:27:30,293
♪ This is for the hustlas
Now back to the Gz ♪
2011
01:27:30,376 --> 01:27:32,837
♪ This is for the Gz
And this is for the hustlas ♪
2012
01:27:32,921 --> 01:27:35,465
♪ This is for the hustlas
Now back to the Gz ♪
2013
01:27:35,548 --> 01:27:38,134
♪ This is for the Gz
And this is for the hustlas ♪
2014
01:27:38,218 --> 01:27:40,720
♪ This is for the hustlas
Now back to the Gz ♪
2015
01:27:40,803 --> 01:27:43,431
♪ This is for the Gz
And this is for the hustlas ♪
2016
01:27:43,515 --> 01:27:45,892
♪ This is for the hustlas
Now back to the Gz ♪
2017
01:27:45,975 --> 01:27:47,310
[barking]
2018
01:27:51,564 --> 01:27:54,025
In addition
to the multiple facial lacerations
2019
01:27:54,108 --> 01:27:56,986
and the severe burn wounds,
2020
01:27:57,070 --> 01:28:02,408
we also discovered an alarming amount
of fecal bacteria in your system,
2021
01:28:02,492 --> 01:28:06,204
which, I would imagine came from
the-- the-- the…
2022
01:28:06,287 --> 01:28:09,374
-Dog shitting in my mouth? Yeah.
-Right. Yeah.
2023
01:28:09,457 --> 01:28:10,458
[sighs]
2024
01:28:11,125 --> 01:28:13,545
Um… Ba-ba-ba…
2025
01:28:13,628 --> 01:28:15,088
Checking the clipboard.
2026
01:28:15,171 --> 01:28:18,049
Oh, yeah. We also, uh,
couldn't reattach the penis.
2027
01:28:20,426 --> 01:28:23,429
[Doug] Fuck!
2028
01:28:23,513 --> 01:28:28,518
[beatboxing]
2029
01:28:37,902 --> 01:28:38,903
♪ Jamie ♪
2030
01:28:40,446 --> 01:28:41,656
♪ Jamie Foxx ♪
2031
01:28:43,199 --> 01:28:44,200
♪ Will Ferrell ♪
2032
01:28:45,076 --> 01:28:47,495
[barking rhythmically]
2033
01:28:49,455 --> 01:28:52,458
[beatboxing continues]
2034
01:28:58,381 --> 01:29:00,466
♪ Dirty, dirty dog ♪
2035
01:29:01,342 --> 01:29:02,760
♪ I'm a stray ♪
2036
01:29:03,761 --> 01:29:05,763
[barking rhythmically]
2037
01:29:11,895 --> 01:29:13,146
♪ Quit doggin' me! ♪
2038
01:29:14,439 --> 01:29:17,233
♪ Quit doggin' me! Dogging me ♪
2039
01:29:17,317 --> 01:29:21,988
[beatboxing, barking rhythmically]
2040
01:29:22,071 --> 01:29:23,823
♪ I'm a stray ♪