1 00:00:05,090 --> 00:00:07,384 [pop music] 2 00:00:07,468 --> 00:00:09,511 -[Billie sighs] -It's not fair. 3 00:00:09,595 --> 00:00:11,680 You're flying business class and I'm stuck here? 4 00:00:11,764 --> 00:00:13,640 [dad] Your parents are making you spend summer 5 00:00:13,724 --> 00:00:15,726 -on a lake-- We're monsters. -But I'm losing 6 00:00:15,809 --> 00:00:17,728 two months of swim training and senior prep 7 00:00:17,811 --> 00:00:20,314 and missing the junior climate conference I organized. 8 00:00:20,397 --> 00:00:22,483 [mom] Okay, everyone needs an off-season, hon. 9 00:00:22,566 --> 00:00:24,318 [Billie] But I said I'm sorry. 10 00:00:24,401 --> 00:00:26,195 -Why can't I just come home? -[mom] You know why. 11 00:00:26,278 --> 00:00:28,113 Now, daddy and I both feel it's safer with you 12 00:00:28,197 --> 00:00:30,032 in the country while we're on tour with the book. 13 00:00:30,115 --> 00:00:32,075 [Billie] You think it's safer here? 14 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:34,119 I'm about to get eaten by inbred hillbillies or 15 00:00:34,203 --> 00:00:36,413 -rumble with drunken townies. -And it's important to know 16 00:00:36,497 --> 00:00:38,248 your birth father now that he's back in the country. 17 00:00:38,332 --> 00:00:39,833 I have a dad 18 00:00:39,917 --> 00:00:41,543 who's usually pretty cool when he's 19 00:00:41,627 --> 00:00:43,670 not sending me back to the factory for parts. 20 00:00:43,754 --> 00:00:45,923 We're giving you a chance to connect with your birth story. 21 00:00:46,006 --> 00:00:48,008 You know how daddy and I feel about open adoption. 22 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,802 -[sighs] -Just once. 23 00:00:49,885 --> 00:00:51,845 Angry nuns hiding a slutty teen mom might be nice. 24 00:00:51,929 --> 00:00:54,056 [mom] Well, you know, Justin does skew a bit slutty 25 00:00:54,139 --> 00:00:56,600 but good luck trying to find his skeleton in a closet. 26 00:00:56,683 --> 00:00:57,976 "Rainbow pops." 27 00:00:58,060 --> 00:01:00,103 That's just a bit on the nose. 28 00:01:00,187 --> 00:01:01,814 Chocolate. 29 00:01:01,897 --> 00:01:03,649 Uh, pandering. 30 00:01:03,732 --> 00:01:06,610 Vanilla... is probably triggering. 31 00:01:06,693 --> 00:01:08,445 Oreo. 32 00:01:08,529 --> 00:01:10,989 Definitely insulting. 33 00:01:11,073 --> 00:01:13,492 And Neapolitan is every flavor of colonialism. 34 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,621 -Do you need a hand? -Wah... 35 00:01:17,704 --> 00:01:19,248 -Back there? -Um... 36 00:01:19,331 --> 00:01:21,959 Uh, um... 37 00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:26,588 Uh no, I'm great, I'm good. I got my-- 38 00:01:26,672 --> 00:01:28,131 I got my stuff. 39 00:01:28,215 --> 00:01:29,800 I just have to get a couple of things. 40 00:01:29,883 --> 00:01:33,011 Some cafecito, 41 00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:34,930 cheddar, little bit of smep-- 42 00:01:35,013 --> 00:01:36,849 Don't know what that is. 43 00:01:36,932 --> 00:01:39,184 And who doesn't want a fruity hole? 44 00:01:39,768 --> 00:01:42,604 Weirdo sausage cooker. 45 00:01:42,688 --> 00:01:45,941 Bugs, don't want any of that stuff. 46 00:01:46,024 --> 00:01:48,443 -[clattering] -[Riley] I got it. 47 00:01:48,527 --> 00:01:49,862 [Justin] Sorry. 48 00:01:51,029 --> 00:01:52,614 -Hi. -Hi. 49 00:01:52,698 --> 00:01:54,366 Hi. 50 00:01:54,449 --> 00:01:55,492 Hi. 51 00:01:56,702 --> 00:01:58,120 No ice cream? 52 00:01:58,203 --> 00:01:59,955 You lose the argument back there? 53 00:02:00,038 --> 00:02:03,250 Oh yes. Uh, very lactose intolerant. 54 00:02:04,334 --> 00:02:06,670 Who needs to douche after a shot of two percent, right? 55 00:02:08,672 --> 00:02:10,090 TMI... 56 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,467 -Yi-yi. -[chuckles] 57 00:02:12,551 --> 00:02:15,262 No, my daughter is an athlete, 58 00:02:15,345 --> 00:02:18,515 so you know, it is just a bit of, like, a fit shamer. 59 00:02:19,266 --> 00:02:20,434 Wow. My daughter. 60 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,185 That is so weird to say out loud. 61 00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:23,687 Only if it's not your daughter. 62 00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:25,814 No, I-- I had her in high school 63 00:02:25,898 --> 00:02:27,399 and then I took off to Australia. 64 00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:29,109 That's why I'm so young... 65 00:02:30,444 --> 00:02:32,571 But there was an adoption in between that time. 66 00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:34,448 So like, she's got parents and they love her 67 00:02:34,531 --> 00:02:36,283 and she feels really good about it and I feel 68 00:02:36,366 --> 00:02:38,160 really good about it. I mean, it was tough 69 00:02:38,243 --> 00:02:40,162 for a little while, like, you know, good five years where 70 00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:42,748 I was just like a total mess. But no, it's great now. 71 00:02:42,831 --> 00:02:44,708 I'm just looking after her while they're away and 72 00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:46,293 it's our first vacation together. 73 00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:48,795 I got us a sweet little place up on the lake. 74 00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:50,505 Lucky to find a spot. 75 00:02:50,589 --> 00:02:51,924 It's mostly lifers up here. 76 00:02:52,007 --> 00:02:53,508 Yeah, I know. I know. 77 00:02:53,592 --> 00:02:56,011 My grandparents used to own a cottage up here 78 00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:57,930 then my dad sold it because my stepmom wanted 79 00:02:58,013 --> 00:02:59,765 some shitty condo in Florida or something. 80 00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:01,934 Ouch. Oh, 81 00:03:02,017 --> 00:03:05,228 but without their shining example of marital dystopia, 82 00:03:05,312 --> 00:03:07,105 I'd have missed out on years of formative trauma 83 00:03:07,189 --> 00:03:09,274 dating any bearded man-child with tat-- 84 00:03:12,444 --> 00:03:13,487 ...Toos. 85 00:03:15,656 --> 00:03:16,823 [beep] 86 00:03:19,451 --> 00:03:20,702 Have a great summer. 87 00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:25,499 They look great on you. 88 00:03:28,335 --> 00:03:29,920 [Billie] I thought we were stopping for ice cream. 89 00:03:33,173 --> 00:03:34,758 That better be your shit. 90 00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:35,926 [Justin] Yeah. 91 00:03:40,013 --> 00:03:41,682 What happened? 92 00:03:41,765 --> 00:03:43,308 I think I just tried to seduce 93 00:03:43,392 --> 00:03:45,435 my prison hipster fantasy with anal douching. 94 00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:47,396 That's what my generation doesn't have sex. 95 00:03:47,479 --> 00:03:48,897 -Ugh. -Oh... 96 00:03:50,107 --> 00:03:51,608 -Whoa! -What? 97 00:03:51,692 --> 00:03:53,235 Still plugged in. 98 00:03:53,318 --> 00:03:55,153 Well, how much longer till a full charge? 99 00:03:55,237 --> 00:03:57,531 -30 minutes. -30 minutes? 100 00:03:57,614 --> 00:03:59,282 Saving the environment takes time. 101 00:03:59,366 --> 00:04:01,451 -Oh, God! -[horn honks] 102 00:04:01,535 --> 00:04:06,456 [pop music] ♪ Ooh, whoa... ♪ 103 00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:09,543 ♪ I wanna be with you everywhere ♪ 104 00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:12,963 ♪ Ooh, whoa... ♪ 105 00:04:13,046 --> 00:04:15,590 ♪ I wanna be with you everywhere ♪ 106 00:04:18,135 --> 00:04:20,012 I know I probably should have gotten one of those 107 00:04:20,095 --> 00:04:21,972 four by four things, but... 108 00:04:22,055 --> 00:04:24,599 it just seems so homophobic. 109 00:04:24,683 --> 00:04:27,394 Hey, you've seen pictures of the cottage I rented, right? 110 00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:29,438 So cute. 111 00:04:29,521 --> 00:04:31,356 Fingers crossed there's AC. 112 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,025 Air conditioning is one of the biggest 113 00:04:33,108 --> 00:04:34,985 contributors to climate change. 114 00:04:35,068 --> 00:04:36,945 Right. Who needs AC on a lake? 115 00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:45,120 [upbeat pop music plays] 116 00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,664 -[sighs] -See? 117 00:04:47,748 --> 00:04:50,876 Total lakeside fantasy. 118 00:04:50,959 --> 00:04:53,795 ♪ 119 00:04:56,548 --> 00:05:00,719 [horror instrumental] 120 00:05:00,802 --> 00:05:02,929 And '80s horror realness. 121 00:05:03,847 --> 00:05:07,184 I'll have to stay a virgin if I want to make it to Labor Day. 122 00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:10,145 Now feels like the right time to start drinking. 123 00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:12,689 Maintaining a lowkey buzz is critical 124 00:05:12,773 --> 00:05:14,524 to every college experience. 125 00:05:14,608 --> 00:05:17,360 So is Mama a Rose or a... 126 00:05:17,444 --> 00:05:18,612 Sauv Blanc? 127 00:05:18,695 --> 00:05:20,655 Mama is 16. 128 00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:23,033 Right. 129 00:05:23,116 --> 00:05:25,327 So maybe just a swim in the lake. 130 00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:28,830 Everything feels better after a swim in the lake. 131 00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:32,626 [gasping] 132 00:05:33,627 --> 00:05:34,920 I got it. 133 00:05:35,003 --> 00:05:36,671 -[Billie] Ew. -[Justin] What? 134 00:05:36,755 --> 00:05:39,049 Don't tell me you've never swum in a lake before? 135 00:05:39,132 --> 00:05:40,383 You're supposed to be training for, like, 136 00:05:40,467 --> 00:05:41,802 the baby Olympics or something. 137 00:05:41,885 --> 00:05:43,512 There better not be any leeches. 138 00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:46,389 [woman] Actually, leeches are excellent 139 00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:48,016 for curing hypertension, 140 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:51,061 also for reattaching fingers after surgery. 141 00:05:51,144 --> 00:05:52,604 Just like the cure for hemorrhoids 142 00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:54,022 the Romans had hoped. 143 00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:57,359 Hello, my name is Irika. 144 00:05:57,442 --> 00:05:58,985 I have the cottage next door. 145 00:05:59,069 --> 00:06:01,113 Hola. Hi, I'm Justin. 146 00:06:01,196 --> 00:06:03,073 -This is my daughter, Billie. -Uh, birth daughter. 147 00:06:03,156 --> 00:06:04,491 -I'm adopted. -[Justin] Yes, 148 00:06:04,574 --> 00:06:06,284 but it was an open adoption so 149 00:06:06,368 --> 00:06:08,120 the birth parents are still part of their kid's life. 150 00:06:08,203 --> 00:06:09,621 He got his best friend pregnant at prom 151 00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:11,164 like in a dumb teen comedy. 152 00:06:11,248 --> 00:06:12,707 But not funny because we thought we'd 153 00:06:12,791 --> 00:06:14,209 ruined our lives and our families hated us. 154 00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:17,921 Oh. Well, wolves raise pups communally. 155 00:06:18,004 --> 00:06:19,673 The male emu looks after the young 156 00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:21,508 while the female goes in search of a new mate. 157 00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:25,971 Yes. Yeah. Polyemu-ry is a valid life choice. 158 00:06:26,054 --> 00:06:28,932 I have a little [indistinct] hour around five. 159 00:06:29,015 --> 00:06:30,267 Please come by any time. 160 00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:31,852 -Okay. Thanks. -Great. 161 00:06:31,935 --> 00:06:33,895 [Irika] Dido. 162 00:06:33,979 --> 00:06:37,315 Tra-la-la. 163 00:06:37,399 --> 00:06:39,568 Please tell me that's seaweed. 164 00:06:39,651 --> 00:06:42,404 Unwaxed seaweed, but the hat's a fresh spin. 165 00:06:42,487 --> 00:06:43,822 You still wanna swim in that? 166 00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:45,907 -No, I think we'll canoe-- -Awesome. 167 00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:49,494 And let this lake air out a little bit. 168 00:06:49,578 --> 00:06:54,249 ♪ 169 00:06:54,332 --> 00:06:58,420 ♪ 170 00:06:58,503 --> 00:07:00,589 [Justin] Oh, no, no, no. You make a J. 171 00:07:00,672 --> 00:07:02,591 You make a J with your paddle, make a J-- 172 00:07:02,674 --> 00:07:04,092 [Billie] Uppercase or lowercase? 173 00:07:04,176 --> 00:07:05,802 [Justin] Well no, just like a letter J. 174 00:07:05,886 --> 00:07:07,846 -Just like J for like Justin. -[Billie] Okay! 175 00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:11,224 Yeah, okay or like, Lustin. That also works. 176 00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:15,520 [Justin] Hey, you see that cottage? 177 00:07:15,604 --> 00:07:16,855 [Billie] Yeah. 178 00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:18,273 [Justin] That's the Henderson's. 179 00:07:18,356 --> 00:07:19,858 After 30 years of subpar banging, 180 00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:21,651 Mrs. Henderson leased her husband out 181 00:07:21,735 --> 00:07:23,778 to her best friend, Maureen, two nights a week. 182 00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:27,699 But escandalo, Mr. Henderson broke the agreement 183 00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:31,119 and married Maureen at Tilt-a-Palooza next summer. 184 00:07:31,203 --> 00:07:32,996 -Tilt-a-Palooza? -Yeah, 185 00:07:33,079 --> 00:07:34,497 it's the last event on the lake before 186 00:07:34,581 --> 00:07:36,166 the boathouse shuts for the season. 187 00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:38,668 There's a regatta. It's a potluck throw down. 188 00:07:38,752 --> 00:07:40,503 There's the Tilt Off. Everybody competes 189 00:07:40,587 --> 00:07:42,255 for shitty prizes and bragging rights 190 00:07:42,339 --> 00:07:44,174 and people hold grudges for generations. 191 00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:45,717 Sounds about white. 192 00:07:47,469 --> 00:07:48,637 -[Justin sighs] -And that one 193 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:49,846 used to be ours. 194 00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:51,598 My great grandfather built it. 195 00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:53,558 It was my happy place till my dad remarried 196 00:07:53,642 --> 00:07:56,102 and my wicked stepsister ruined everything. 197 00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:59,439 I spent every summer there as a kid. 198 00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,316 Who owns it now. 199 00:08:01,399 --> 00:08:02,525 I don't know. 200 00:08:04,903 --> 00:08:06,738 Do you want to find out? 201 00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,198 Shouldn't we call first? 202 00:08:08,281 --> 00:08:10,283 No, I'm just a neighbour. 203 00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:11,826 I'm dropping in on another neighbour. 204 00:08:11,910 --> 00:08:14,246 Feels more like trespassing. 205 00:08:14,329 --> 00:08:15,872 Justin, I don't like this. 206 00:08:15,956 --> 00:08:17,874 Well, you should probably turn us around then. 207 00:08:19,668 --> 00:08:23,546 Uh-oh, someone needs to work on their J-stroke. 208 00:08:23,630 --> 00:08:30,345 ♪ 209 00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:32,681 Ugh. Do you believe how... 210 00:08:32,764 --> 00:08:34,641 [Billie] Gorgeous it is? 211 00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:36,893 It's like heaven took a nap. 212 00:08:36,977 --> 00:08:38,770 And that dock. 213 00:08:38,853 --> 00:08:40,647 I want a baby with that dock. 214 00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:42,899 -[knocking] -Hello! 215 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,988 -[knocking] -Okay. We came, we knocked. 216 00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:50,031 -We leave. -No, Come on! 217 00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:51,783 I want to see how these power douches 218 00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:54,536 ruined the homestead with their exquisite taste. 219 00:08:57,205 --> 00:08:59,457 You know, you climb up that, 220 00:08:59,541 --> 00:09:00,959 you can get in through the window. 221 00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,544 It's how I snuck home after curfew-- 222 00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:04,754 Except you're not 12 and that's a felony. 223 00:09:04,838 --> 00:09:06,298 No! It's an adventure. 224 00:09:06,381 --> 00:09:08,091 It's like a classic, summer shenanigan. 225 00:09:08,174 --> 00:09:10,093 See, for a Black girl, breaking and entering 226 00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:11,720 is more a, "When they see us" adventure 227 00:09:11,803 --> 00:09:13,805 than a Wet, Hot American Summer shenanigan. 228 00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:15,390 Fair point. Okay. Just keep an eye out 229 00:09:15,473 --> 00:09:17,475 to see if anybody comes back, okay? 230 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:19,227 [laughs] 231 00:09:19,311 --> 00:09:20,603 I'm doing it! 232 00:09:20,687 --> 00:09:22,605 Birth dad is doing it. 233 00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:25,108 Mom will definitely let me come home if she sees this. 234 00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:27,527 -Damn. -[Justin] Yep. 235 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,029 I'm still flexible. 236 00:09:29,112 --> 00:09:35,535 [panting] 237 00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:45,337 Holy shit. 238 00:09:46,546 --> 00:09:48,506 Oh, it's all the same. 239 00:09:49,549 --> 00:09:50,675 [sighs] 240 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,195 Shit. Shit, shit. 241 00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:29,589 No way. 242 00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:35,553 My God, Grandpa. 243 00:10:35,637 --> 00:10:37,222 -Justin. -Shit! 244 00:10:37,305 --> 00:10:39,265 -Let's go! Someone's coming. -Okay. 245 00:10:39,349 --> 00:10:40,975 -What are you doing? -What? It was my grandpa's-- 246 00:10:41,059 --> 00:10:42,727 Put it back or I'm calling the Coast Guard. 247 00:10:42,811 --> 00:10:44,521 There's no Coast Guard on a lake. 248 00:10:44,604 --> 00:10:46,147 It's a committee and you get elected. 249 00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:47,982 [Billie] Oh, my God. Would you shut up and go. 250 00:10:53,113 --> 00:10:54,572 Oh! 251 00:10:54,656 --> 00:10:58,535 ♪ Another place where I can be ♪ 252 00:10:58,618 --> 00:11:03,331 ♪ Another dream to carry away ♪ 253 00:11:05,417 --> 00:11:08,545 ♪ To carry away ♪ 254 00:11:12,382 --> 00:11:16,845 ♪ Another world that waits for me ♪ 255 00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:20,140 ♪ Another life ♪ 256 00:11:20,223 --> 00:11:24,269 ♪ I can wait for love ♪ 257 00:11:24,352 --> 00:11:27,647 ♪ I can wait for love ♪ 258 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:35,029 ♪ Till we meet again ♪ 259 00:11:35,113 --> 00:11:36,823 [music dying] 260 00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:38,741 -[Victor] Uh, who are you? -Uh, sorry. 261 00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:40,577 We're Billie. I'm Billie. He's Justin. 262 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:43,496 Yeah, I'm her dad. I'm her birth dad. 263 00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,457 [Billie] I'm adopted. 264 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:47,125 Gave me up because he's gay. 265 00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:48,793 No, I just chose parents who could 266 00:11:48,877 --> 00:11:50,920 give her a better life. Wasn't even out yet. 267 00:11:51,004 --> 00:11:52,839 -Well. -But I am now. 268 00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:56,759 Yes, queen. 269 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,429 Nice to meet you. I'm Victor. 270 00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:01,014 -This is my son, Killian. -Hi. 271 00:12:01,097 --> 00:12:02,974 [Killian] What are you doing on our dock? 272 00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:04,976 [Billie] Oh, my great grand something built your cottage. 273 00:12:05,059 --> 00:12:06,811 -He wanted to show me. -[Justin] Yeah, I did. 274 00:12:06,895 --> 00:12:08,813 I-I knocked. We did knock, but nobody was home. 275 00:12:08,897 --> 00:12:10,773 Maybe you could give us a tour. 276 00:12:10,857 --> 00:12:12,734 -Yeah. -[Victor] I'll ask my wife. 277 00:12:12,817 --> 00:12:14,569 -It's her cottage. -Yeah. 278 00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:15,904 [Victor] Everyone's getting ready for the boathouse 279 00:12:15,987 --> 00:12:17,238 barbecue tonight. 280 00:12:17,322 --> 00:12:19,407 -[Justin] Oh... -You comin'? 281 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,619 Yeah. We wouldn't miss it. 282 00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:26,539 We got so much unpacking to do. 283 00:12:26,623 --> 00:12:29,834 Just loads of it but it was really nice to meet you. 284 00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:31,878 -We'll, um... -[Billie clears her throat] 285 00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:33,421 It was really good to mee-- 286 00:12:33,505 --> 00:12:35,089 We'll just get out of your hair. 287 00:12:35,173 --> 00:12:36,841 -[Billie] Yeah. -You guys need help at all? 288 00:12:36,925 --> 00:12:38,968 [Justin] No, no, no, no, no, no. No. We're fine. 289 00:12:39,052 --> 00:12:41,262 -Have fun. -[Justin] Okay, well, 290 00:12:41,346 --> 00:12:42,597 it was great to meet you. 291 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,432 Really great meeting you. Bye. 292 00:12:44,516 --> 00:12:46,351 [Justin] Bye. 293 00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:48,895 [Killian] Why do you need to ask mom to show the cottage? 294 00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:52,315 [Victor] Son, you know your mom likes everything to be perfect. 295 00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:54,484 For the record, that's how you get 296 00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:56,194 a tour without invading someone's home. 297 00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:58,613 A tour of what? Your vagina? 298 00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:01,366 I saw you drooling over that Aber-zombie. 299 00:13:01,449 --> 00:13:04,911 Yeah. And you were eye-boning his dad, so whatever. 300 00:13:04,994 --> 00:13:08,081 Yeah, well I don't need to stay a virgin to survive the summer. 301 00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:09,874 ♪ 302 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:12,126 Get ready for some deep dives 303 00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:14,170 into septic tanks tonight at the barbecue. 304 00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:17,048 How you flush your poop is a hot button topic on the lake. 305 00:13:17,131 --> 00:13:18,424 [Billie] There's no signal here. 306 00:13:18,508 --> 00:13:20,885 Yes. Someone is coming on Monday. 307 00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:23,888 You can ask Irika to use hers but... 308 00:13:23,972 --> 00:13:26,683 I don't know if textiles and bandwidth are compatible. 309 00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,601 Do you know how parenting works? 310 00:13:28,685 --> 00:13:30,770 'Cause, baseline, you keep the kid safe. 311 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:33,022 Like, don't rent a cottage in the middle of the woods 312 00:13:33,106 --> 00:13:35,483 if you can't call for help when invaded by rednecks or demons. 313 00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:37,235 Or don't be the redneck 314 00:13:37,318 --> 00:13:39,153 invading someone else's cottage. 315 00:13:39,237 --> 00:13:41,114 I just wanted to show you where you came from. 316 00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:43,533 -That's all. -I know where I came from. 317 00:13:43,616 --> 00:13:45,577 Three hundred clicks from here. And I'm going back 318 00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:47,787 as soon as I tell Mom and Dad that you broke into-- 319 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,415 No. Let's just-- Woop, put the pause on. 320 00:13:50,498 --> 00:13:52,584 I-I I just got-- 321 00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:55,086 I got a little excited moving from FaceTime 322 00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:57,714 to real time, that's all. 323 00:13:57,797 --> 00:13:59,340 I just haven't been on the same continent 324 00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:00,758 as you since you were a baby. 325 00:14:00,842 --> 00:14:02,385 Whose fault is that? 326 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:06,973 [Justin] Look, I don't know what you did to deserve it 327 00:14:07,056 --> 00:14:09,183 but your parents said that it was either summer with me 328 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:11,019 or it was Pioneer Girls Bible camp. 329 00:14:11,102 --> 00:14:12,854 Now, if you would prefer experimenting 330 00:14:12,937 --> 00:14:15,607 with light lesbianism and the word of our Lord, 331 00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:18,484 then by all means, call them from the boat house. 332 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:23,948 Look, Billie, I know that this is not 333 00:14:24,032 --> 00:14:25,825 -the summer that you wanted-- [Billie] Oh? You mean 334 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,869 moderating the virtual climate conference I organized? 335 00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:30,830 -[sighs] -What is the point 336 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,290 of trying to save the environment 337 00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:33,916 if you're not gonna enjoy any of it? 338 00:14:37,629 --> 00:14:41,382 I bet that you could ask, uh, Kissy, kissy Kissian 339 00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:43,426 to show you around the barbecue tonight. 340 00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:45,553 I am the child. Me. 341 00:14:45,637 --> 00:14:46,929 Just give it a shot. 342 00:14:47,013 --> 00:14:48,097 At least for tonight. 343 00:14:49,307 --> 00:14:50,725 Just... 344 00:14:50,808 --> 00:14:52,101 Don't try to be my parent. 345 00:14:52,185 --> 00:14:54,103 Never. No. 346 00:14:55,271 --> 00:14:56,731 I'm not like other birth dads. 347 00:14:57,565 --> 00:14:58,733 I'm a cool birth dad. 348 00:14:58,816 --> 00:15:01,027 Are you quoting Mean girls? 349 00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:02,695 Your parents have their Bible. 350 00:15:02,779 --> 00:15:04,405 I have mine. 351 00:15:05,073 --> 00:15:06,366 [loon calling] 352 00:15:09,452 --> 00:15:11,245 [Billie] Pretty extra for a boat house. 353 00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:14,123 [Justin] Well, it's over 150 years old. 354 00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:15,750 Used to be a fishing club. 355 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:17,919 Menfolk only and then ladies became people. 356 00:15:18,002 --> 00:15:20,004 So, hard pivot. 357 00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:21,714 Uh, it's kind of like if the PTA ran 358 00:15:21,798 --> 00:15:23,675 a daycare for functional alcoholics. 359 00:15:23,758 --> 00:15:27,929 [music plays] 360 00:15:28,012 --> 00:15:31,974 [chattering] 361 00:15:40,191 --> 00:15:42,527 Why is everyone staring at us? 362 00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:45,780 Because my gay ass giving you up for adoption 363 00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:48,700 was the second biggest escandala to rock the lake 364 00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:51,369 since Whore-reen shacked up with Saggy Balls Henderson. 365 00:15:51,452 --> 00:15:52,662 Hot flash: Whore-reen is the lady 366 00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:54,205 we're renting the cabin from. 367 00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:57,583 [Billie] Woah... So much sunburn. 368 00:15:57,667 --> 00:16:00,169 Yeah, the beginning of the season's always muy charro. 369 00:16:00,253 --> 00:16:02,463 We're weeks from peak sunscreen. 370 00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:04,298 Too late to make a run for it? 371 00:16:04,382 --> 00:16:05,967 For me, yes. The sharks are already circling. 372 00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:07,635 But the lifeguard lounge down the hall is empty. 373 00:16:07,719 --> 00:16:10,847 -Go run for your life. -Justin Lovejoy! 374 00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:12,390 Can't believe you're back, bud. 375 00:16:12,473 --> 00:16:14,809 Hey, Wayne. Jane. 376 00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:16,853 -Was that...? -Child I abandoned? Yes. 377 00:16:16,936 --> 00:16:18,771 -[laughs] -Hilarious. 378 00:16:18,855 --> 00:16:20,481 That sense of humor hasn't vanished with your waistline. 379 00:16:20,565 --> 00:16:23,151 O-M-Jeepers. You are so mini now! 380 00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:25,528 Australia. The misogyny and the melanoma 381 00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:27,113 just melt the fat away. 382 00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:28,865 Is it true? Did you date a Hemsworth? 383 00:16:28,948 --> 00:16:30,324 -Yeah. -A Coffs Harbour Hemsworth. 384 00:16:30,408 --> 00:16:32,243 Yeah. Shorter, more knuckle hair. 385 00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:34,829 Oh, and now you're back to be a parent 386 00:16:34,912 --> 00:16:37,123 after giving it up for the wild gay lifestyle. 387 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,417 Well, this place has seen more threesomes 388 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,002 and fists in the tush than me. 389 00:16:41,085 --> 00:16:44,464 [laughing] 390 00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:47,008 Hey, listen, you need any help, you come see us, alright? 391 00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:48,885 -We got four now. -Oh fuck. 392 00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:51,179 [Jane] Terrier, Jerika, Kerrigan and Olive. 393 00:16:51,262 --> 00:16:52,555 Low motility. 394 00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:54,056 Yeah, they stuck a bunch of eggs up 395 00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:55,767 because my guys don't swim so good. 396 00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:57,435 Well, I guess they had a fucking grappling hook. 397 00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:59,979 They blew out Janie's vulva. 398 00:17:00,897 --> 00:17:03,441 It's so great to have you home. 399 00:17:04,484 --> 00:17:05,735 Just like old times. 400 00:17:05,818 --> 00:17:07,403 Oh fuck, I hope not. 401 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:09,739 [Jane chuckles] 402 00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:16,829 -[Killian] Hiding? -Oh, it was a bit 403 00:17:16,913 --> 00:17:19,373 Housewives of Cottage Country up there. 404 00:17:19,457 --> 00:17:21,334 What's this chapter in Sunstroke? 405 00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:24,295 [Killian] Tilting. Its canoe jousting. 406 00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:26,088 Yeah, that definitely wouldn't happen 407 00:17:26,172 --> 00:17:27,548 with more melanin on the lake. 408 00:17:27,632 --> 00:17:29,717 It's actually pretty fun, though. 409 00:17:29,801 --> 00:17:31,427 There's a tournament every summer. 410 00:17:31,511 --> 00:17:32,845 My dad's won it nine times. 411 00:17:32,929 --> 00:17:34,597 One more, he get a free canoe? 412 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,349 Better. He beats Wayne Moore's record. 413 00:17:36,432 --> 00:17:38,100 That dude's a talking shark. 414 00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:40,895 So a bunch of guys affirming patriarchal rituals 415 00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:42,563 of dominance and aggression. 416 00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:43,981 Maybe I should try. 417 00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:45,358 Subvert the system. 418 00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:48,027 You would be going up against the junior champ. 419 00:17:49,237 --> 00:17:50,655 And I hear he's unbeatable. 420 00:17:51,697 --> 00:17:53,282 Sounds like a dare. 421 00:17:54,242 --> 00:17:57,411 So, must be weird not having the old place, huh? 422 00:17:57,495 --> 00:17:59,121 Never thought you'd let it go. 423 00:17:59,205 --> 00:18:00,790 Yeah, well, it wasn't really up to me, Wayne. 424 00:18:00,873 --> 00:18:02,792 Do you know who owns it now? 425 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:06,087 Mm-hmm. Yeah. I dropped by earlier today. 426 00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,547 -Mm. -Wow. 427 00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,382 -Mm. -And you were cool with that? 428 00:18:09,465 --> 00:18:11,634 Yes. Yeah. Guys, you can't live in the past. 429 00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:14,720 You know, you gotta move on. And, um... 430 00:18:14,804 --> 00:18:16,931 you know what? I'm actually gonna go say hi right now, 431 00:18:17,014 --> 00:18:18,808 but it was great chatting with you both. 432 00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:23,312 And you-- you have not changed at all. 433 00:18:23,396 --> 00:18:25,064 -Exactly the same. -What does that mean? 434 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,399 I don't know. 435 00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:28,693 -Hey, Victor. Hi! -[Victor] Justin. 436 00:18:28,776 --> 00:18:30,319 [Justin] Yeah. Do you know Riley? 437 00:18:30,403 --> 00:18:31,946 Yes, from earlier. 438 00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,614 From the gas and goin' down, not on you. 439 00:18:33,698 --> 00:18:35,283 I mean, like in flames. 440 00:18:35,366 --> 00:18:36,951 Because when we met, I was such a re-- 441 00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:38,995 No. We don't say that word anymore. 442 00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:40,454 That's a bad word. 443 00:18:40,538 --> 00:18:41,789 So good to meet you again 444 00:18:41,873 --> 00:18:44,000 for a second time to do this again. 445 00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:45,501 [Victor] And this is my son, Darian. 446 00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:48,754 -Opal. -I'm so sorry. 447 00:18:48,838 --> 00:18:51,007 Last time. Opal is his chosen name. 448 00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:52,925 -My pronouns are he and him. -Hey, me too. 449 00:18:53,009 --> 00:18:54,343 Pronoun twinsies. 450 00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:56,846 [Victor] We're having a bit of a rough night. 451 00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:58,639 Opal's pick got torpedoed for movie night. 452 00:18:58,723 --> 00:19:00,016 But I got there first. 453 00:19:00,099 --> 00:19:01,851 That's why there's a sign up sheet. 454 00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:04,437 Now, we have to watch the Minions. Again. 455 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:05,813 I thought Minions were cool. 456 00:19:05,897 --> 00:19:07,565 More like cretins. 457 00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:09,275 You can watch "Carol," later with your Zoom crew. 458 00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:11,485 Fine, but Killian can't watch porn when we do. 459 00:19:11,569 --> 00:19:13,195 The buffering's maddening. 460 00:19:14,947 --> 00:19:16,365 Carol. 461 00:19:16,449 --> 00:19:18,159 -Tough sell. -He's still a bit upset 462 00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:20,828 over getting booted off the talent show committee. 463 00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:23,039 He wanted to replace the annual show with 464 00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:25,458 Boathouse Drag Race: Canadian Diva Edition. 465 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:27,919 -Oh. -You start in with Anne Murray. 466 00:19:28,002 --> 00:19:30,463 Work your way through Jann Arden, K.D. Lang, 467 00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:31,964 Sarah McLachlan. 468 00:19:32,048 --> 00:19:33,799 Anyone can do Celine or Shania. 469 00:19:33,883 --> 00:19:35,593 Yeah, that's so true. 470 00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,011 I really want to meet your wife. 471 00:19:37,094 --> 00:19:38,763 Dying to, in fact. Is she around? 472 00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:40,848 Yeah, yeah, 473 00:19:40,932 --> 00:19:42,391 there's something you should know about my-- 474 00:19:42,475 --> 00:19:43,517 [Maisie-May] Justin? 475 00:19:46,938 --> 00:19:49,315 Justin Lovejoy? 476 00:19:49,398 --> 00:19:51,525 -Maisie-May? -Your stepsister. 477 00:19:52,318 --> 00:19:54,987 [Maisie-May] Welcome home, little brother. 478 00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:03,245 [exhaling quickly] 479 00:20:03,329 --> 00:20:04,914 Wow. 480 00:20:05,748 --> 00:20:07,792 Remember, brace before you swing. 481 00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,669 Oh, I'll brace. Your face. 482 00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:11,128 -[scoffing] -That's weak. 483 00:20:11,212 --> 00:20:13,172 Still gonna destroy you. 484 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,590 Here's the thing about pride and fal-- 485 00:20:15,841 --> 00:20:16,884 [grunting] 486 00:20:21,389 --> 00:20:23,182 Told you to brace-- 487 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,809 [grunts] 488 00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:28,062 Works both ways. 489 00:20:28,145 --> 00:20:30,439 [Terri] Oh, my God. Killian, stop pawing her. 490 00:20:30,523 --> 00:20:32,066 She's not a chew toy. 491 00:20:34,402 --> 00:20:37,071 Uh-- uh, Billie, this is... 492 00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:40,700 uh, Kerri, Terri, Jerri. And Olive. 493 00:20:40,783 --> 00:20:42,118 -Hi. -They have the cottage 494 00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:43,619 across from the boathouse. 495 00:20:43,703 --> 00:20:45,121 Look at what we nicked from the canteen. 496 00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:49,250 This Tiltin's 'bout to get turnt. 497 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:56,841 [upbeat pop] 498 00:20:56,924 --> 00:21:00,261 [laughter] 499 00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:04,682 Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! 500 00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:09,437 ♪ 501 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,480 -You ready, Jerri? -It's Terri. 502 00:21:11,564 --> 00:21:12,815 Whatever, Taylor. 503 00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:14,400 -Nice. -Go Terri, 504 00:21:14,483 --> 00:21:17,278 -go Terri, go Terri... -Let's go, Airy. 505 00:21:18,362 --> 00:21:20,239 [grunts] 506 00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,158 Boom. 507 00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:23,409 [grunts] 508 00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:25,745 Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! 509 00:21:25,828 --> 00:21:27,621 -[grunts] -Shot! Shot! Shot! 510 00:21:27,705 --> 00:21:30,041 Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! 511 00:21:30,124 --> 00:21:32,543 -Maybe that's enough? -[Billie] Back off, Kissy. 512 00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:35,588 [Justin] I don't understand. 513 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,214 My dad was gonna sell the cottage 514 00:21:37,298 --> 00:21:40,176 so that your mom could buy, some, like... 515 00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:42,136 condo in Florida. 516 00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:44,472 [Maisie-May] He changed his mind. 517 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:46,307 [Justin] So what? Did you like, buy it from him? 518 00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:47,767 No, he left it to me. 519 00:21:49,727 --> 00:21:52,063 I think he saw how much it meant to me. 520 00:21:52,146 --> 00:21:53,564 And how much it meant to the boys. 521 00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:55,232 He wanted to keep it in the family. 522 00:21:55,316 --> 00:21:57,651 Yeah, it's weird because we're not even related. 523 00:21:57,735 --> 00:22:00,988 Your mom is like barely married to my dad. 524 00:22:01,072 --> 00:22:03,282 16 years. Yeah, but the first two don't count. 525 00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,076 He was still married to my mom. 526 00:22:07,036 --> 00:22:09,288 Listen, I know that you and your-- 527 00:22:10,122 --> 00:22:12,208 Dad didn't have an easy relationship. 528 00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:14,502 I mean, I'm not making excuses for his behaviour. 529 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:16,670 After you gave Billie up, 530 00:22:16,754 --> 00:22:18,339 he really did change. 531 00:22:18,422 --> 00:22:20,299 You should have seen him with Opal. 532 00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:23,344 And--- 533 00:22:23,427 --> 00:22:25,471 And I understand why you left. 534 00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:27,848 I couldn't imagine giving my babies up. 535 00:22:30,059 --> 00:22:31,936 I know how much the lake meant to you 536 00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:33,562 when you were growing up. I mean, 537 00:22:33,646 --> 00:22:35,147 that's why you brought Billie here, right-- 538 00:22:35,231 --> 00:22:36,774 -Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! -Oh, my God, Billie. 539 00:22:36,857 --> 00:22:38,859 [Maisie-May] Oh, you know we don't litter. 540 00:22:38,943 --> 00:22:40,069 Shot! Shot! 541 00:22:40,152 --> 00:22:41,904 -Drink up! -[laughter] 542 00:22:41,987 --> 00:22:43,656 Hey, hey, what's going on here? 543 00:22:43,739 --> 00:22:45,116 Oh, hi. 544 00:22:45,199 --> 00:22:47,076 I'm tilting the shit out of these three... 545 00:22:48,619 --> 00:22:50,246 -Six bitches. -[Justin] Whoa. Whoa, whoa. 546 00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:51,914 Easy, Spinnie-Minnie. 547 00:22:52,373 --> 00:22:54,250 -Mm. -She had it when we got here. 548 00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:56,627 -[Maisie-May] What's goin' on? -[Billie coughs] 549 00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:58,337 It's fine, Maisie, I can handle it, alright? 550 00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:00,339 Well, let me help you. I know these kids. 551 00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:02,341 I would know them too if you didn't steal the cottage. 552 00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,135 -Oh, my God-- -They stole our cottage? 553 00:23:04,218 --> 00:23:05,803 -[Jane] What's going on, girls? -Uh, I don't know. 554 00:23:05,886 --> 00:23:07,513 We were just teaching her how to tilt, Mom. 555 00:23:07,596 --> 00:23:09,473 Yeah, she was like this when we got here. 556 00:23:09,557 --> 00:23:12,351 The rules are very clear about underage drinking: 557 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,770 A two week suspension from boathouse privileges 558 00:23:14,854 --> 00:23:18,983 and the parents pay a $200 fee to the Canteen Renovation Fund. 559 00:23:19,066 --> 00:23:21,694 Both biological and adopted. 560 00:23:21,777 --> 00:23:24,155 Mm-mm. I don't want to go to Bible camp. 561 00:23:24,238 --> 00:23:25,698 Shit, your breath. 562 00:23:25,781 --> 00:23:28,868 The only one drinking here is me. 563 00:23:36,667 --> 00:23:39,128 -[gasping] -Oh, my God. 564 00:23:40,129 --> 00:23:42,631 Oh. You know what? 565 00:23:42,715 --> 00:23:44,133 Why shouldn't I be drinking? 566 00:23:45,092 --> 00:23:48,345 My birthright was stolen from me 567 00:23:48,429 --> 00:23:50,639 by trickery and deception. 568 00:23:50,723 --> 00:23:52,600 -There was no-- -De-cep-tion. 569 00:23:54,185 --> 00:23:56,145 [burps] 570 00:23:56,228 --> 00:23:58,898 Oh, fuck. I forgot all about the wine I, uh... 571 00:23:58,981 --> 00:24:00,941 [whispers] Wine before liquor. 572 00:24:01,025 --> 00:24:02,776 -Never sicker. -That's right, girls. 573 00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:05,362 To reclaim my family honour, 574 00:24:05,446 --> 00:24:07,698 I challenge you, 575 00:24:07,781 --> 00:24:10,159 Maisie-May, 576 00:24:10,242 --> 00:24:14,663 by the sacred blood oath of trial by tilt. 577 00:24:14,747 --> 00:24:16,207 That's not a thing. 578 00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:17,708 Come on. Let's see where this goes. 579 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:18,918 This could be good. Come on. 580 00:24:19,001 --> 00:24:20,794 If defeated in lawful tilt, 581 00:24:20,878 --> 00:24:24,381 you have to return the cottage to its rightful owners. 582 00:24:25,925 --> 00:24:28,135 Will you answer the call? 583 00:24:28,219 --> 00:24:29,428 No-- We will. 584 00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:30,888 -What? -[Victor] Trust me. 585 00:24:30,971 --> 00:24:33,349 The challenge was actually for Maisie. 586 00:24:33,432 --> 00:24:35,935 Well as her husband and champion, 587 00:24:36,018 --> 00:24:37,561 I'm sworn to defend her honour. 588 00:24:37,645 --> 00:24:39,188 A moment, Sir Lancelot. 589 00:24:39,271 --> 00:24:41,315 Mm-mn. You can't win. 590 00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:43,692 Victor's been tilting champ nine-- 591 00:24:43,776 --> 00:24:45,486 I lost every tilt and my father's love 592 00:24:45,569 --> 00:24:48,239 by the third grade, but if I do this, 593 00:24:48,322 --> 00:24:50,449 no one is going to remember your drinking. 594 00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:53,744 Are you insane? You can't give away our cottage if you lose. 595 00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:55,871 Just play along. Babe, he just found out 596 00:24:55,955 --> 00:24:57,706 that his dad gave it to you. I'll let him 597 00:24:57,790 --> 00:24:59,792 knock me around a little, make him feel better. 598 00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:01,377 Trust me. 599 00:25:01,460 --> 00:25:02,628 We're ready! 600 00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:04,046 You're gonna humiliate yourself 601 00:25:04,129 --> 00:25:05,714 in front of all these people? 602 00:25:05,798 --> 00:25:07,007 For you? 603 00:25:07,925 --> 00:25:09,426 Anything. 604 00:25:09,510 --> 00:25:11,095 Aww. 605 00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:13,514 But I'm gonna need you to walk me to the dock 606 00:25:13,597 --> 00:25:15,599 because a lot is starting to spin. 607 00:25:15,683 --> 00:25:17,476 It's happening, it's happening. 608 00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:19,144 [Wayne] We got a tilt. 609 00:25:22,064 --> 00:25:23,107 -Hi. -[Riley] Hi. 610 00:25:23,190 --> 00:25:24,858 -Hi. -[Riley] Hi. 611 00:25:24,942 --> 00:25:27,194 Perhaps we should go inside and have some bread. 612 00:25:27,278 --> 00:25:30,322 [intense chord plays] 613 00:25:30,406 --> 00:25:34,201 [chattering] 614 00:25:46,297 --> 00:25:47,965 We didn't steal your dad's cottage. 615 00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:50,175 Birth dad. 616 00:25:50,259 --> 00:25:52,886 And whatever you thought was happening here-- 617 00:25:52,970 --> 00:25:54,013 [blows raspberry] 618 00:25:54,096 --> 00:25:55,139 It's over. 619 00:25:57,933 --> 00:26:00,269 We're not really gonna lose our cottage if Daddy loses, 620 00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:02,980 -Right, Mom? -No, sweetie. 621 00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,398 Just our dignity. 622 00:26:04,481 --> 00:26:06,567 Oh, my God. 623 00:26:06,650 --> 00:26:08,277 Pick it up. 624 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:09,570 Okay. 625 00:26:09,653 --> 00:26:13,490 -[groaning] -[crowd cheering] 626 00:26:13,574 --> 00:26:20,122 -[hand drum plays] -[flute plays] 627 00:26:20,205 --> 00:26:25,919 ♪ 628 00:26:26,003 --> 00:26:28,047 What the fuck? 629 00:26:29,798 --> 00:26:30,841 Tilt! 630 00:26:32,885 --> 00:26:37,514 [crowd cheers] 631 00:26:38,307 --> 00:26:40,142 Don't forget to brace. 632 00:26:41,477 --> 00:26:42,686 [grunts] 633 00:26:42,770 --> 00:26:44,229 Oh, nope! 634 00:26:44,313 --> 00:26:45,939 [splash] 635 00:26:49,443 --> 00:26:51,320 -Oh, shit. -[teen girl] Seriously? 636 00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:52,988 That was disappointing. 637 00:26:53,072 --> 00:26:55,532 -Ah, I'm gonna grab a beer. -See? 638 00:26:55,616 --> 00:26:57,076 [man shouting indistinctly] 639 00:26:58,869 --> 00:27:00,537 -[Billie] Hi. -[Justin weakly] Hi. 640 00:27:00,621 --> 00:27:02,039 [Billie] I don't think anyone saw you vomit 641 00:27:02,122 --> 00:27:03,540 when you hit the water. 642 00:27:03,624 --> 00:27:05,292 I think there's a good chance that 643 00:27:05,376 --> 00:27:08,087 Wayne and Jane posted my Tilt a Hurl online. 644 00:27:09,380 --> 00:27:10,756 Thank you 645 00:27:10,839 --> 00:27:13,467 from saving me from getting saved. 646 00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:15,135 You know I'm still going to baptize your ass 647 00:27:15,219 --> 00:27:16,261 in the lake, right? 648 00:27:18,639 --> 00:27:20,224 [groaning] 649 00:27:25,979 --> 00:27:28,315 What happened in Australia? 650 00:27:28,399 --> 00:27:29,858 Why'd you come back? 651 00:27:29,942 --> 00:27:32,569 My ex became a Buddhist and, you know, 652 00:27:32,653 --> 00:27:34,363 I could deal with the meditating 653 00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,782 but it was the chlamydia that started to feel personal. 654 00:27:37,908 --> 00:27:41,662 But if he hadn't banged half of Bondi Beach, then... 655 00:27:41,745 --> 00:27:43,330 I wouldn't be here with you. 656 00:27:43,414 --> 00:27:45,499 So, thanks, Chris. 657 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,545 Okay, it's your turn. 658 00:27:49,628 --> 00:27:51,797 Why'd your parents want to send you to Bible camp? 659 00:27:52,423 --> 00:27:55,217 Oh. Uh... 660 00:27:55,300 --> 00:27:58,470 A few sexts accidentally uploading 661 00:27:58,554 --> 00:28:00,556 to the family cloud may have convinced them 662 00:28:00,639 --> 00:28:02,307 it was time to reconnect with my birth story. 663 00:28:02,391 --> 00:28:04,643 Ooh, I thought it was because you got arrested 664 00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:07,020 -at that climate march. -Oh no, they were proud of that 665 00:28:07,104 --> 00:28:09,857 but my booty shots to Jared, not so much. 666 00:28:09,940 --> 00:28:11,483 Well, it's hard to get the lighting right. 667 00:28:11,567 --> 00:28:13,152 I mean, even Captain America made 668 00:28:13,235 --> 00:28:14,653 his pretty dinky look shrinky. 669 00:28:14,736 --> 00:28:16,655 Such a stupid way to get them to notice me. 670 00:28:16,738 --> 00:28:19,241 We've all sexted a Jared. 671 00:28:19,324 --> 00:28:21,952 What was he, like, a DJ? Or a snowboarder? 672 00:28:22,035 --> 00:28:23,662 Leader of my activist youth circle. 673 00:28:23,745 --> 00:28:25,122 Fuck. 674 00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:26,915 I'm so old. 675 00:28:28,041 --> 00:28:29,668 Well, if your parents sent you here, 676 00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:31,587 he must be either 40 or 12. 677 00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:33,046 Ew. 22. 678 00:28:33,130 --> 00:28:34,590 And he starts grad school in the fall. 679 00:28:34,673 --> 00:28:36,341 Because that's why you sent those pics? 680 00:28:36,425 --> 00:28:38,552 For his big... brain? 681 00:28:40,846 --> 00:28:43,557 But if you hadn't sent him child porn, 682 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:44,933 then you wouldn't be here. 683 00:28:45,017 --> 00:28:47,519 So thanks, Jared. 684 00:28:47,603 --> 00:28:48,854 [Killian] Who's Jared. 685 00:28:49,688 --> 00:28:50,814 Oh, um... 686 00:28:52,566 --> 00:28:55,235 Uh, he's my, um-- my weed dealer. 687 00:28:55,319 --> 00:28:57,237 God, wished he delivered. 688 00:28:57,321 --> 00:28:59,865 Hangovers. Ah. Right? 689 00:29:01,325 --> 00:29:04,620 Um, Mom wanted me to give you some of your dad's old stuff. 690 00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:07,122 -Hey, thanks. -[Killian] Mm-hm. 691 00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:12,169 Don't get into drinking contests 692 00:29:12,252 --> 00:29:13,587 with Kerri, Terri or Jerri. 693 00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:15,130 Olive's the weak link. 694 00:29:17,299 --> 00:29:18,342 Right. 695 00:29:20,135 --> 00:29:22,596 Holy shit, I think he just proposed to you in boy. 696 00:29:22,679 --> 00:29:24,431 His family stole our cottage. 697 00:29:25,182 --> 00:29:27,100 But maybe there's regret 698 00:29:27,184 --> 00:29:29,478 and a sound environmental policy under those abs. 699 00:29:30,479 --> 00:29:32,189 Now you're too young to daydream, 700 00:29:32,272 --> 00:29:34,358 so you need a project. Go. 701 00:29:34,441 --> 00:29:36,068 Make out town is that way. 702 00:29:36,151 --> 00:29:39,488 [pop plays] 703 00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:45,327 ♪ 704 00:29:45,410 --> 00:29:48,872 Killian! Killian! 705 00:29:48,956 --> 00:29:50,123 Ugh. 706 00:29:50,207 --> 00:29:55,254 ♪ 707 00:30:01,885 --> 00:30:03,178 Hey, I found this. 708 00:30:05,264 --> 00:30:06,348 [grunts] 709 00:30:07,391 --> 00:30:09,518 Are you okay? 710 00:30:09,601 --> 00:30:11,228 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 711 00:30:11,311 --> 00:30:12,354 Great. 712 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,192 Didn't you shove that down your pants yesterday? 713 00:30:21,613 --> 00:30:23,448 My grandpa made it. 714 00:30:23,532 --> 00:30:26,243 My grandma taught me to needlepoint at the cottage. 715 00:30:27,035 --> 00:30:30,080 So, we'd embroider when it rained. And my dad... 716 00:30:30,163 --> 00:30:32,332 hated it. 717 00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:34,001 You know, because he thought I should be out 718 00:30:34,084 --> 00:30:36,670 catching frogs or pissing on shit 719 00:30:36,753 --> 00:30:39,214 or doing whatever it is that little straight boys do. 720 00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:42,634 But then when grandma died, 721 00:30:42,718 --> 00:30:45,679 my grandpa let me teach him the petit point and it just... 722 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,724 It just kept her alive for us. 723 00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:53,854 "There once was a man from Chile, 724 00:30:53,937 --> 00:30:56,148 with holes down the length of his willy. 725 00:30:56,231 --> 00:30:58,317 When he got an erection, he could play a selection 726 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,444 of the opera Aida by Verdi?" 727 00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:03,196 Um... 728 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,325 He was a little racist. 729 00:31:06,408 --> 00:31:08,535 [Justin sniffles] 730 00:31:13,498 --> 00:31:15,417 So where's Killian. 731 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:17,419 Oh, he's gone already. 732 00:31:17,502 --> 00:31:19,963 Think this fell out of the box he brought us? 733 00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:28,388 It's an addendum to Dad's will. 734 00:31:28,472 --> 00:31:29,640 What? 735 00:31:31,224 --> 00:31:33,060 Maisie doesn't own the cottage. 736 00:31:34,561 --> 00:31:36,313 It's in a trust. 737 00:31:36,396 --> 00:31:38,732 And if she ever leaves... 738 00:31:41,401 --> 00:31:43,320 it passes to me. 739 00:31:43,403 --> 00:31:46,490 Your dad changed his will so you could get the cottage back. 740 00:31:46,573 --> 00:31:49,618 No. I-- I doubt it. I mean, I begged him, 741 00:31:49,701 --> 00:31:51,578 I begged him not to sell the cottage. 742 00:31:51,662 --> 00:31:53,955 And then he said to me, "Well, if keeping it in the family 743 00:31:54,039 --> 00:31:55,791 was so important to you, then why'd you give up 744 00:31:55,874 --> 00:31:57,250 -my only grandkid?" -Dark. 745 00:31:57,334 --> 00:31:59,127 If we could get Maisie to leave... 746 00:32:00,003 --> 00:32:01,672 Like if we could find the right push... 747 00:32:01,755 --> 00:32:02,964 Like off a dock? 748 00:32:03,048 --> 00:32:04,132 Well, no. She's a varsity swimmer. 749 00:32:04,216 --> 00:32:06,176 We'd have to hold her under. 750 00:32:06,259 --> 00:32:08,553 We need to give Maisie a reason to leave. 751 00:32:08,637 --> 00:32:10,097 And then what? 752 00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:15,352 And then we take back what's ours. 753 00:32:15,435 --> 00:32:19,731 Because your birth dad ain't nobody's bitch. 754 00:32:19,815 --> 00:32:21,733 [rock plays] ♪ Heard you missed us ♪ 755 00:32:21,817 --> 00:32:23,610 ♪ Yeah, guess who's back ♪ 756 00:32:23,694 --> 00:32:25,070 Mm! 757 00:32:28,573 --> 00:32:30,909 ♪ Guess who's back ♪ 758 00:32:34,746 --> 00:32:36,331 ♪ Guess who's back ♪ 759 00:32:36,415 --> 00:32:39,084 ♪ Wake up the people Sh-shake it out ♪ 760 00:32:39,167 --> 00:32:42,087 ♪ Hope you don't mind if we get a little loud ♪ 761 00:32:43,004 --> 00:32:44,423 Hey! 762 00:32:48,427 --> 00:32:51,930 ♪ I'm on a new kick Yeah, sing some more ♪ 763 00:32:52,013 --> 00:32:54,850 ♪ The future is knockin' at your door ♪ 764 00:33:00,981 --> 00:33:03,400 ♪ Heard you missed us ♪ 765 00:33:04,192 --> 00:33:05,944 ♪ Heard you missed us ♪ 766 00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:07,738 ♪ Yeah, guess who's back ♪ 767 00:33:07,821 --> 00:33:10,198 ♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪ 768 00:33:10,282 --> 00:33:12,325 ♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪ 769 00:33:12,409 --> 00:33:13,618 ♪ Guess who's back ♪ 770 00:33:13,702 --> 00:33:16,246 ♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪ 771 00:33:16,329 --> 00:33:19,249 ♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪ 772 00:33:21,710 --> 00:33:23,336 ♪ Guess who's back! ♪