1 00:00:05,007 --> 00:00:07,968 [rain patters] 2 00:00:11,138 --> 00:00:14,266 [thunder rumbling] 3 00:00:15,934 --> 00:00:18,604 [crows caw in the distance] 4 00:00:25,611 --> 00:00:29,239 So, there's the bathroom, kitchen, the living room, 5 00:00:29,323 --> 00:00:31,325 Justin sleeps in there 6 00:00:31,408 --> 00:00:33,994 and... this, 7 00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:37,039 this is my bedroom. 8 00:00:37,122 --> 00:00:38,373 [he chuckles] 9 00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:41,418 [he sighs] Cool. 10 00:00:41,502 --> 00:00:43,504 Yeah. Bedrooms are-- are great. 11 00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:44,922 I have one too. 12 00:00:46,298 --> 00:00:48,133 [chuckles] 13 00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:51,762 So, do you want to, like, do something? 14 00:00:51,845 --> 00:00:53,514 Justin and your parents should be 15 00:00:53,597 --> 00:00:55,933 at the euchre tournament for a few more hours, so... 16 00:00:56,016 --> 00:00:57,476 Ah, all away. 17 00:00:57,559 --> 00:00:59,311 We could-- We could watch a movie. 18 00:01:00,145 --> 00:01:02,231 The Wi-Fi got fried in the storm last night. 19 00:01:02,314 --> 00:01:03,982 Riley's coming by to fix it later. 20 00:01:04,858 --> 00:01:08,779 Oh, we do have this Croatian bootleg of Dharma and Greg. 21 00:01:08,862 --> 00:01:10,072 [chuckles] 22 00:01:10,155 --> 00:01:11,698 -Season four. -Oh, great. 23 00:01:11,782 --> 00:01:14,159 -[both chuckle] -[she sniffs] 24 00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:17,871 Or you could just kiss me. 25 00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:23,043 Maybe that. 26 00:01:26,839 --> 00:01:28,590 [front door clicks open] 27 00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:32,553 -What up, fam? -We interrupting? 28 00:01:32,636 --> 00:01:35,389 -Kind of. -Yeah, well, we're bored. 29 00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:38,225 [tense music] 30 00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,519 Who wants to find out why this is called the murder cabin? 31 00:01:42,312 --> 00:01:45,232 -[he scoffs] -Ooohh... 32 00:01:48,277 --> 00:01:49,903 Put your fingers on the board. 33 00:01:53,407 --> 00:01:56,368 We are attempting contact with the spirit world. 34 00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:59,121 Lost souls trapped between our world and the next. 35 00:01:59,204 --> 00:02:01,915 So, close your eyes, clear your mind. 36 00:02:01,999 --> 00:02:03,166 Any tips, Keri? 37 00:02:04,418 --> 00:02:06,795 White eyeliner makes eye shadow pop. 38 00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:08,714 That's actually a really good tip. 39 00:02:12,593 --> 00:02:15,929 -Is there a spirit among us? -Ooooh. 40 00:02:16,013 --> 00:02:17,556 Guys, focus. 41 00:02:18,557 --> 00:02:21,226 Is there a spirit among us? 42 00:02:26,273 --> 00:02:28,734 [eerie whooshing] 43 00:02:32,613 --> 00:02:33,906 Welcome, spirit. 44 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:37,034 We come seeking answers. 45 00:02:38,076 --> 00:02:40,579 When will Billie and Killian go to Bone Town? 46 00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:42,956 -[snickers] -So dumb. 47 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,083 Ah, keep your finger on the board 48 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:46,460 or you'll invite an evil spirit in. 49 00:02:50,672 --> 00:02:53,550 Do you have a name, wandering spirit? 50 00:02:56,970 --> 00:03:00,766 [uptight music playing] 51 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,244 Y-S-I-A-M. 52 00:03:22,454 --> 00:03:23,956 Yes, I am? 53 00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:28,085 What do you want, Ysiam? 54 00:03:30,963 --> 00:03:36,259 B-L-U-D. 55 00:03:41,181 --> 00:03:42,516 Do you mean blood? 56 00:03:49,606 --> 00:03:51,024 There’s six of us. 57 00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:54,194 [they gasp] 58 00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:57,322 [exhales] Weed break. 59 00:04:01,535 --> 00:04:03,537 Which one of you bitches finished my stash? 60 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,080 In our defense-- 61 00:04:06,123 --> 00:04:08,458 -Yeah, we did. -[both laughing] 62 00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:11,253 I'm going to Ulrika’s to borrow a cup of bud 63 00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:13,296 while she’s at the tournament. 64 00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,507 -Won’t she notice? -[chuckles] 65 00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:17,467 Who do you think taught me how to roll? 66 00:04:19,094 --> 00:04:20,345 BRB. 67 00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:23,765 [deep sigh] 68 00:04:25,434 --> 00:04:27,602 Okay, which one of you moved it? 69 00:04:27,686 --> 00:04:30,647 -Don't look at me. -Keri can barely spell. 70 00:04:32,441 --> 00:04:34,192 I'm better with shapes. 71 00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:37,821 [♪ Gordon Lightfoot: "If You Could Read My Mind"] 72 00:04:38,905 --> 00:04:42,117 ♪ If you could Read my mind, love... ♪ 73 00:04:43,368 --> 00:04:44,786 What's taking her so long? 74 00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:47,039 Ready to stick pins in my eyes. 75 00:04:47,122 --> 00:04:49,249 We could watch Dharma and Janko 76 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,542 ‘til she gets back. 77 00:04:51,209 --> 00:04:53,086 -Janko’s hilarious. -[loud bang] 78 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,672 What was that? 79 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,717 ♪ Or a fortress strong ♪ 80 00:05:01,094 --> 00:05:02,471 Holy shit. 81 00:05:02,554 --> 00:05:04,139 What the hell is that? 82 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,184 Are those Olive’s jeans? 83 00:05:09,936 --> 00:05:12,689 “One down. Five to go.” 84 00:05:18,612 --> 00:05:22,491 [dramatic slasher film music] 85 00:05:22,574 --> 00:05:27,454 ♪ 86 00:05:32,209 --> 00:05:34,086 [Teri] I bet Olive’s just messing with us 87 00:05:34,169 --> 00:05:36,088 -for stealing her weed. -Or stealing her homework. 88 00:05:36,171 --> 00:05:37,839 Or toasting her lizard. 89 00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:40,675 He looked cold. 90 00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:46,932 -[Billie] Wait, what? -What the hell is that? 91 00:05:47,015 --> 00:05:50,185 -Is that a fucking crossbow? -[they scream] 92 00:05:53,271 --> 00:05:55,190 -Oh, nice shot! -[girls crying] 93 00:05:56,316 --> 00:05:58,276 [Billie] Oh, my God. Go, go, go, go, go. 94 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,654 [indistinct exclamations and screaming] 95 00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:03,448 [Billie] Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. 96 00:06:03,532 --> 00:06:05,158 Killian, lock the other door. Call 911. 97 00:06:06,535 --> 00:06:08,954 No signal. Wi-Fi’s still down. 98 00:06:11,289 --> 00:06:13,041 Aah! How does this thing work? 99 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,709 They're going back into the woods. 100 00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:17,921 -Oh, God. Oh, God. -Do you think Olive’s dead? 101 00:06:18,004 --> 00:06:20,048 No, Olive’s a stoner. 102 00:06:20,132 --> 00:06:21,925 They always survive until the last act. 103 00:06:22,008 --> 00:06:23,760 -You need them for comedy. -This isn't a movie, nerd. 104 00:06:23,844 --> 00:06:25,971 Guys, we have to make a run for the dock right now. 105 00:06:26,054 --> 00:06:28,640 Do you want to be the dumb jock that eats it in the first act? 106 00:06:28,723 --> 00:06:31,101 -You can’t outrun an arrow. -If he’s the jock who are we? 107 00:06:31,184 --> 00:06:33,687 I’m the final girl, so you guys are the dumb slu-- 108 00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:35,605 Fun girls. You guys are the fun girls. 109 00:06:35,689 --> 00:06:37,524 -[panting] -What are we going to do? 110 00:06:39,276 --> 00:06:41,945 Well, the killer always tries to separate us, right? 111 00:06:42,028 --> 00:06:45,323 Makes us easier to pick off, so we stick together 112 00:06:45,407 --> 00:06:48,410 until the signal comes back or until our parents come home. 113 00:06:48,493 --> 00:06:49,703 Okay. 114 00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:51,079 Yeah. 115 00:06:51,163 --> 00:06:53,206 [disturbing instrumental] 116 00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:03,466 Shouldn't you fill that with boiling water? 117 00:07:04,384 --> 00:07:05,969 Why? Do you want soup? 118 00:07:06,052 --> 00:07:08,221 -[rattling] -Can anyone hear that? 119 00:07:09,347 --> 00:07:10,765 Guys? 120 00:07:11,725 --> 00:07:13,393 -[screams] -Keri! 121 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,145 No, no, no, no. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. 122 00:07:15,228 --> 00:07:16,688 No, no, let me go, okay? 123 00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:18,273 I was bullied by my imaginary friend. 124 00:07:18,356 --> 00:07:20,609 -Ghosts hate me. -[Killian] No, no, no. 125 00:07:20,692 --> 00:07:22,569 It’s just the wind or something. 126 00:07:24,154 --> 00:07:25,280 -[they scream] -Holy shit! 127 00:07:25,363 --> 00:07:27,407 -[screams] -[Killian] Keri! 128 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:30,118 Keri! Keri! No! I will not be an only child. 129 00:07:30,202 --> 00:07:31,578 They’re weird and self-obsessed. 130 00:07:31,661 --> 00:07:33,496 -I'm an only child. -Yeah, see? 131 00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:35,332 -[sighs] -[banging] 132 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,793 -[banging continues] -[gasps] 133 00:07:38,877 --> 00:07:40,420 Everything will be just fine 134 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,047 if we just stick to-- 135 00:07:43,548 --> 00:07:44,758 -[Billie] Together. -[door slams shut] 136 00:07:45,550 --> 00:07:46,927 [sighs] 137 00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:51,014 [slow paced banging] 138 00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:57,354 [banging on door] 139 00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:59,064 [Riley] Open up! Is anyone there? 140 00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:00,482 Oh, Riley, thank God! 141 00:08:00,565 --> 00:08:03,193 -[Riley] Oh, God. -[door slams shut] 142 00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:05,779 What the hell is going on? 143 00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:07,739 Some crazy crossbow freak chased me off the deck. 144 00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:09,324 I barely made it inside. 145 00:08:09,407 --> 00:08:10,951 We know, we've been trying to call for help, 146 00:08:11,034 --> 00:08:12,410 but the signal's still down. 147 00:08:12,494 --> 00:08:14,496 -Can you fix it? -I brought your cable. 148 00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:16,456 but there is no way I'm going out there 149 00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,959 with a crossbow bathrobe psycho. 150 00:08:19,042 --> 00:08:20,502 [sighs] 151 00:08:22,587 --> 00:08:24,047 Fuck. 152 00:08:25,006 --> 00:08:26,758 Did you use that? 153 00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:28,051 In here? 154 00:08:29,427 --> 00:08:31,888 Does the name Ysiam mean anything to you? 155 00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:35,433 Shit, shit. 156 00:08:37,227 --> 00:08:39,938 Local legend says that this rock was once 157 00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,606 a witch coven’s party pad. 158 00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:44,734 Some locals drowned the coven 159 00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:46,486 and the head witch cursed this place, 160 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:50,156 asking for blood if anyone disturbed their rest. 161 00:08:52,492 --> 00:08:54,160 I thought it was bullshit, but... 162 00:08:55,870 --> 00:08:57,998 the head witch’s name was Ysiam. 163 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,376 -[scared panting] -[Killian] Fuck. 164 00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:04,754 Story has it the only way to send her followers back... 165 00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:08,425 is with the blood of six virgins. 166 00:09:09,926 --> 00:09:12,887 -Keri’s a virgin? -Such a liar. 167 00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:17,183 -Where's Keri? -Too soon. 168 00:09:18,977 --> 00:09:20,186 [door bangs shut] 169 00:09:21,313 --> 00:09:23,565 We can't just stay here and let them pick us off. 170 00:09:24,399 --> 00:09:25,859 Okay. 171 00:09:27,944 --> 00:09:29,738 All right. We make a run for my boat. 172 00:09:29,821 --> 00:09:31,489 We'll get to the Boathouse, we’ll call for help. 173 00:09:31,573 --> 00:09:33,241 If you don't die, come back for us, ‘kay? 174 00:09:33,325 --> 00:09:35,076 And bring us some snacks. Yours suck. 175 00:09:35,869 --> 00:09:37,120 [door slams shut] 176 00:09:38,913 --> 00:09:40,582 How many of those freaks did you see 177 00:09:40,665 --> 00:09:42,000 when you were on the roof? 178 00:09:44,294 --> 00:09:45,420 I wasn't on the roof. 179 00:09:54,179 --> 00:09:56,806 [distorted music playing] 180 00:09:59,601 --> 00:10:01,478 [Riley] Ah! Well, fuck me in half. 181 00:10:01,561 --> 00:10:02,854 -Why? What's wrong? -My boat’s gone. 182 00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:04,939 -[Killian grunts] -Okay. Okay. 183 00:10:05,023 --> 00:10:07,275 We need to go back to the cabin like now, alright? 184 00:10:07,359 --> 00:10:09,361 -[thud] -[screams] Ah, fuck! 185 00:10:09,444 --> 00:10:11,154 Oh, my God! Fuck! 186 00:10:11,237 --> 00:10:13,406 Holy shit, Riley! 187 00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:16,201 -Killian! Oh, fuck. -Go! Go! 188 00:10:16,284 --> 00:10:18,119 -I’m right behind you. -[Billie] Okay. 189 00:10:18,203 --> 00:10:20,580 [Killian] Get inside. Get inside. Get inside. 190 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:23,041 [screams] 191 00:10:24,042 --> 00:10:26,044 -He’s gone. -Who’s gone? 192 00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:28,046 -Riley! -Did he fix the internet? 193 00:10:28,129 --> 00:10:30,548 -What? -[Justin] Billie! I’m coming! 194 00:10:30,632 --> 00:10:32,425 -[Billie] Justin? -[Killian] No, no, no, no, no. 195 00:10:32,509 --> 00:10:34,302 Move. I have to go after him. 196 00:10:34,386 --> 00:10:36,304 No, in New Moon when Bella hears Edward's voice, 197 00:10:36,388 --> 00:10:38,681 it's just-- it's just her mind playing tricks on her. 198 00:10:38,765 --> 00:10:40,975 -Is this Twilight again? -It's a horror movie too. 199 00:10:41,059 --> 00:10:43,019 [sighs] Well, falling in love’s scary. 200 00:10:43,937 --> 00:10:46,439 Man, the shit we take from you horror purists online. 201 00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:50,068 -[he sighs] -Online. Riley’s cable. 202 00:10:50,151 --> 00:10:51,653 We can replace it and call for help 203 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,571 -without a phone signal. -Where's the modem? 204 00:10:53,655 --> 00:10:55,281 In the crawlspace under the cabin. 205 00:10:55,365 --> 00:10:57,200 Of course it is. 206 00:10:57,283 --> 00:10:58,868 I'll just run down there and swap it. 207 00:10:58,952 --> 00:11:01,246 And then when I get back, we can bring up FaceTime 208 00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:03,081 and bunker down until someone comes to help us. 209 00:11:04,666 --> 00:11:08,336 -There's more of them now. -Okay. Distract them. 210 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:10,296 Not that kind of fun girl. 211 00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:15,218 -[Teri] Yeah. Go. -[Billie] Be careful. 212 00:11:15,301 --> 00:11:16,761 [tense music] 213 00:11:16,845 --> 00:11:18,096 [sigh] Be fast. 214 00:11:26,688 --> 00:11:29,315 Come get me you Volturi sons of bitches. 215 00:11:29,399 --> 00:11:31,776 [he roars] 216 00:11:33,111 --> 00:11:34,946 Thank God he's hot. 217 00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:36,656 -Yeah. -Yeah. 218 00:11:37,532 --> 00:11:41,202 [Killian] Come on! Let's go! I’m right here! 219 00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:43,455 -[Killian banging on pot] -Bring it on, motherfucker! 220 00:11:43,538 --> 00:11:45,874 Okay. Okay, Billie. We’re gonna do this. 221 00:11:45,957 --> 00:11:48,042 You’re not gonna die in this shitty fucking cabin. 222 00:11:48,877 --> 00:11:51,004 God. Oh, my God! 223 00:11:51,087 --> 00:11:53,465 Oh, God. Okay. Oh, shit. Shit. 224 00:11:53,548 --> 00:11:55,717 [squeals] Okay. Killian! 225 00:11:56,843 --> 00:11:58,887 -Killian? -Open the door! 226 00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:01,139 -Killian! -Come on, come on! 227 00:12:02,015 --> 00:12:04,184 -[Billie whimpers] -Open the door, Teri! 228 00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:05,477 [Teri] Did you reboot the modem? 229 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,061 No, there's too many of them. 230 00:12:07,145 --> 00:12:08,813 Maybe they'll leave once they have you. 231 00:12:08,897 --> 00:12:10,607 You’re the final girl. 232 00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:12,817 Aah! Come on! Come on, I have an idea. 233 00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:15,862 [tense music] 234 00:12:18,198 --> 00:12:19,365 We can jump. 235 00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,701 Are you nuts? 236 00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,536 Jumping is always scarier than the water, remember? 237 00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:25,747 At Raven’s Rock, not the Cabin in the Woods. 238 00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,332 Okay, on three. 239 00:12:27,415 --> 00:12:28,875 Okay. 240 00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:30,126 One. 241 00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,461 Two. 242 00:12:31,544 --> 00:12:33,213 [sighs] 243 00:12:33,296 --> 00:12:38,468 [romantic music plays] 244 00:12:44,599 --> 00:12:46,184 Cabin in the Woods. 245 00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,353 Do you have a name, wandering spirit? 246 00:12:48,436 --> 00:12:49,521 Are those Olive’s jeans? 247 00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:50,730 -Y. -BRB. 248 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,357 -S. -Open up! 249 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,400 Do you want to be the dumb jock that 250 00:12:54,484 --> 00:12:55,818 -eats it in the first half? -I. 251 00:12:55,902 --> 00:12:57,320 This isn't a movie. 252 00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:59,030 -I thought it was bullshit-- -A. 253 00:12:59,113 --> 00:13:00,532 The head witch’s name was Ysiam. 254 00:13:00,615 --> 00:13:02,367 -M. -You’re the final girl! 255 00:13:02,450 --> 00:13:03,785 Cabin in the Woods. 256 00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:05,620 Cabin in the fucking woods! 257 00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,205 No, Billie, wait! 258 00:13:15,129 --> 00:13:17,423 [Olive over radio] Hey, Opal Bader Ginsberg. 259 00:13:17,507 --> 00:13:19,008 -You there? -Go ahead, Olive. 260 00:13:19,092 --> 00:13:20,927 [Olive] I’m clear of the cabin. 261 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:23,096 Ouija board’s in place, phone jammer’s on. 262 00:13:23,179 --> 00:13:25,890 I'm heading to Ulrika’s until Prank Day is over. 263 00:13:25,974 --> 00:13:27,475 Do they suspect the gag of it all? 264 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:28,935 [Olive] Not a clue. 265 00:13:29,018 --> 00:13:30,645 My generation is screwed. 266 00:13:30,728 --> 00:13:32,272 That's a go, everyone. 267 00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:33,940 Walkies stay on for further instructions. 268 00:13:34,023 --> 00:13:35,650 Jane, prep the arrow. 269 00:13:35,733 --> 00:13:37,360 Don't skimp on the blood. 270 00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:39,070 Copy that Opie-dopes. Question. 271 00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:41,114 Am I just sticking the arrow into the door 272 00:13:41,197 --> 00:13:42,532 or am I actually firing the crossbow? 273 00:13:42,615 --> 00:13:44,117 What? 274 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,827 [Opal] Shooting would be more immersive. 275 00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:47,745 That's what I said. Told you, Jayner. 276 00:13:47,829 --> 00:13:49,539 -This is a bad idea. -Mm, it’s a beauty. 277 00:13:49,622 --> 00:13:51,749 No. Wayne, stop. All right? 278 00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:53,543 Nobody is shooting anyone with anything. 279 00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:56,588 Opal, when did blood and crossbows come into this? 280 00:13:56,671 --> 00:13:58,631 Guys, I want Billie to remember Prank Day 281 00:13:58,715 --> 00:14:00,758 with a smile, okay, not regression therapy. 282 00:14:00,842 --> 00:14:02,385 She’s not gonna come back next year 283 00:14:02,468 --> 00:14:03,678 if she's still having nightmares about it. 284 00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:04,804 This isn't your high school's 285 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,097 dinner theatre, Justin. 286 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,057 It's my opus. 287 00:14:08,141 --> 00:14:10,351 [sigh] Did you hear that? 288 00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:12,729 Justin wants to come back next summer with Billie. 289 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,188 That would be a real win for him. 290 00:14:14,272 --> 00:14:15,898 And a real loss for us. 291 00:14:15,982 --> 00:14:17,400 Since Justin has been here, 292 00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:19,652 we have lost an election, a bathroom, 293 00:14:19,736 --> 00:14:21,946 and our son might lose his virginity to his cousin. 294 00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:23,448 -Step-cousin. -Ugh. 295 00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:24,907 Still gross. 296 00:14:24,991 --> 00:14:26,659 We cannot lose anything else to Justin. 297 00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:28,494 We have to make sure they never come back. 298 00:14:28,578 --> 00:14:30,121 How? 299 00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:31,914 By scaring Billie so much 300 00:14:31,998 --> 00:14:33,750 that she calls her parents to come get her. 301 00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:36,085 There's no way they'll let her come back after that. 302 00:14:36,169 --> 00:14:37,420 Sounds a little harsh. 303 00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:38,671 It was Justin's idea 304 00:14:38,755 --> 00:14:39,839 to bring back Prank Day. 305 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,090 He made his own bed. 306 00:14:41,174 --> 00:14:44,594 [girls scream] 307 00:14:44,677 --> 00:14:46,763 -[grunts] -Oh, nice shot! 308 00:14:46,846 --> 00:14:48,973 -That's my boy! -Victor! 309 00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:51,142 -That’s our boy. -Oh, my God! 310 00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,352 -[scream] -Get inside! Go, go! 311 00:14:52,435 --> 00:14:54,062 Wayne! Come on! 312 00:14:54,145 --> 00:14:57,398 Okay. Okay. Hold on. What happened back there? 313 00:14:57,482 --> 00:15:00,485 -You got hit with a rock. -Was I there for that? 314 00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:02,487 You were supposed to wait like we practiced. 315 00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:04,614 -You never listen. -Okay, okay, okay. 316 00:15:04,697 --> 00:15:06,991 Next time you get hit in the head with a rock. 317 00:15:07,075 --> 00:15:08,701 -Thank you. -Great. Come on, come on. 318 00:15:08,785 --> 00:15:10,578 -We gotta go. -No, this way. 319 00:15:10,662 --> 00:15:12,288 Right. Okay. 320 00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:14,415 -What happened back there? -Oh, my-- 321 00:15:14,499 --> 00:15:16,042 [Opal] They barricaded themselves inside the cabin 322 00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,960 right on schedule. 323 00:15:18,044 --> 00:15:19,545 Dad, you in position for Operation Ouija Magnet? 324 00:15:19,629 --> 00:15:21,089 In the hammer lane, little buddy. 325 00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:22,757 [Opal] Spy talk, not trucker talk. 326 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,676 That’s like asking a fish not to swim. 327 00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:26,344 [Opal] Magnets in the planchette are pretty snappy 328 00:15:26,427 --> 00:15:28,012 so don’t work too hard. 329 00:15:28,096 --> 00:15:29,972 -10-4. -[Opal] Second warning. 330 00:15:30,056 --> 00:15:31,683 Whatever. 331 00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:33,601 Maisy, what the fuck? 332 00:15:33,685 --> 00:15:35,853 This is supposed to be Scooby-Doo scary. 333 00:15:35,937 --> 00:15:37,355 Shh, shh, shh. 334 00:15:37,438 --> 00:15:39,399 It’ll all be over soon, sweetie. 335 00:15:39,482 --> 00:15:40,942 Hey, hey, Assassin's Creed, she can't breathe. 336 00:15:41,025 --> 00:15:43,027 -Sorry. -Can't be too careful. 337 00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:44,987 There are witches in these woods. 338 00:15:45,071 --> 00:15:46,614 All right, this shit’s getting out of hand. 339 00:15:46,698 --> 00:15:48,157 Maisy, this is exactly why Prank Day 340 00:15:48,241 --> 00:15:49,575 was cancelled in the first place. 341 00:15:49,659 --> 00:15:50,785 No, you're the reason 342 00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:52,286 that Prank Day got cancelled. 343 00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,414 Who can't handle a fake alien abduction? 344 00:15:54,497 --> 00:15:56,499 You told them to eat me first 345 00:15:56,582 --> 00:15:58,126 because I had more meat. 346 00:15:58,209 --> 00:15:59,836 -And I stand by that decision. -Oh, my God. 347 00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:01,796 You wanted to bring Prank Day back 348 00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,214 because Billie is this huge horror fan, 349 00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,716 but if it doesn't feel real, 350 00:16:04,799 --> 00:16:06,884 she's going to be the first to clock it. 351 00:16:06,968 --> 00:16:09,721 So just sit back and let Ysiam work her magic. 352 00:16:09,804 --> 00:16:10,972 Should have been my name backwards. 353 00:16:11,055 --> 00:16:12,473 It was my idea. 354 00:16:12,557 --> 00:16:14,392 Nitsuj sounds like a lice shampoo. 355 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,729 Come on, honey, Opal’s got snacks in the car. 356 00:16:18,938 --> 00:16:20,398 You can bring your kettle. 357 00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,944 [scoffs] 358 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,821 Wayne Eunice Beverly Moore, 359 00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:28,448 you get your ass down! 360 00:16:28,531 --> 00:16:30,992 I was supposed to do the roof walk. 361 00:16:31,075 --> 00:16:32,827 The roof can’t handle your weight! 362 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,788 -You can't go rogue like that. -Hey, I’m Wayne. 363 00:16:35,872 --> 00:16:37,707 Don't remind me. 364 00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:40,209 [chuckles] That's a cool dress. 365 00:16:41,794 --> 00:16:43,504 [Opal] Falcons have fled the nest. 366 00:16:43,588 --> 00:16:45,131 Riley and the kids are leaving the cabin. 367 00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:47,133 We got to hustle if we want to beat the kids 368 00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,801 to the Boathouse for the hood reveal. 369 00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:50,887 We're not doing the Boathouse thing anymore. 370 00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:52,388 Yeah, there have been some last-minute rewrites. 371 00:16:52,472 --> 00:16:54,265 What do you mean? What kind of rewrites? 372 00:16:54,348 --> 00:16:55,808 Opal and I thought that ending the prank 373 00:16:55,892 --> 00:16:57,477 with the hood reveal was a bit tame. 374 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,270 Relax, we're just shooting and abducting Riley, 375 00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:00,938 and then we're surrounding the kids so they think 376 00:17:01,022 --> 00:17:02,857 -that Ysiam is coming. -And then what? 377 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,817 Are you going to sacrifice them into the fire pit? 378 00:17:04,901 --> 00:17:07,111 -Do you think it's deep enough? -All right, that's it. 379 00:17:07,195 --> 00:17:08,905 I'm calling it, Joan Carpenter. 380 00:17:08,988 --> 00:17:11,199 This just went from Goosebumps to Saw 5. 381 00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:15,787 Billie? I’m coming! 382 00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:17,622 -[Maisy] Hi-yah! -[grunts] 383 00:17:17,705 --> 00:17:19,332 God, what the hell, Maisy? 384 00:17:19,415 --> 00:17:20,792 Don’t even think about moving. 385 00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:22,710 MI-5 once tried to recruit me. 386 00:17:22,794 --> 00:17:25,713 -Oh, as if! -I know! Me, a public servant? 387 00:17:25,797 --> 00:17:27,632 -What a waste. -Maisy, please come on. 388 00:17:27,715 --> 00:17:29,175 I'm begging you here. Please let me go. 389 00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:30,885 You got to stop this. 390 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,512 You don't think we had better things to do 391 00:17:32,595 --> 00:17:34,222 than play make-believe 392 00:17:34,305 --> 00:17:35,890 while you paper over your failures with Billie? 393 00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:37,683 Of course we did, but we're here because of you. 394 00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:39,310 -I just wanted it to be fun. -Mission accomplished. 395 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:41,229 -I'm having a blast. -[grunts] 396 00:17:41,312 --> 00:17:42,605 I'm going to need some bungee cords. 397 00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:43,856 The Dalai Drama’s gone rogue. 398 00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:45,399 Well, the joke's on you 399 00:17:45,483 --> 00:17:46,943 because I'm putting that on a T-shirt. 400 00:17:47,026 --> 00:17:48,653 [muffled] Oh, God, 401 00:17:48,736 --> 00:17:50,947 why do you taste like lavender? 402 00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:52,323 Riley, please. 403 00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:53,991 I know we're in this 404 00:17:54,075 --> 00:17:56,244 not-talking-cause-Justin's-hot garbage phase, 405 00:17:56,327 --> 00:17:57,829 but would you please untie me? 406 00:17:58,788 --> 00:18:00,081 Riley, come on. 407 00:18:00,164 --> 00:18:01,666 Billie's probably really scared. 408 00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:05,086 -That's what you wanted. -That is not what I wanted. 409 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:06,838 I was trying to do something special 410 00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:08,798 so that she’d come back next year. 411 00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:10,675 In my prank, you got to be the hero. 412 00:18:10,758 --> 00:18:12,552 You got to save the kids. 413 00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:14,595 In Maisy’s, you get nailed in the leg with an arrow. 414 00:18:14,679 --> 00:18:16,097 Why are you helping her? 415 00:18:17,265 --> 00:18:19,058 You pimped me out... 416 00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:21,561 to Gil the Thrill. 417 00:18:24,188 --> 00:18:25,439 I know. 418 00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:28,442 I know I did that. 419 00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,074 Riley... 420 00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:39,537 having Billie again, Maisy getting the cottage, 421 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:42,790 this chance that I got to get back everything that I lost? 422 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,794 I just went crazy, I went... 423 00:18:48,087 --> 00:18:50,131 really crazy and you got caught in the middle. 424 00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:57,179 I'm sorry. 425 00:19:01,601 --> 00:19:02,768 I’m really sorry. 426 00:19:05,938 --> 00:19:07,648 Please don't help Maisy win. 427 00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:13,446 [rain patters] 428 00:19:17,700 --> 00:19:18,993 I never did this... 429 00:19:20,036 --> 00:19:21,203 for Maisy. 430 00:19:23,122 --> 00:19:28,544 [♪ Gregory Dillon: "Plastic Ferrari"] 431 00:19:30,588 --> 00:19:35,384 ♪ Killing the quiet You know so well ♪ 432 00:19:38,179 --> 00:19:43,100 ♪ Insecurities I curse myself ♪ 433 00:19:45,728 --> 00:19:49,398 ♪ I'm bitter and shaken The sweetest temptation ♪ 434 00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:51,692 ♪ Checkin' if you call... ♪ 435 00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:54,862 Bondage, threesomes... 436 00:19:54,946 --> 00:19:56,572 I think you're going to need 437 00:19:56,656 --> 00:19:58,741 to update your profile, there, Tindersnake. 438 00:20:01,369 --> 00:20:02,995 [Billie] Cabin in the fucking woods! 439 00:20:03,079 --> 00:20:05,164 -[Killian] Billie, wait! -Oh, Billie. 440 00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,917 Busted, busted, busted, busted, all of you! 441 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,752 Ysiam is Maisy spelled backwards. 442 00:20:11,504 --> 00:20:14,131 -[manic chuckle] -Mom? Dad? 443 00:20:14,215 --> 00:20:17,093 [Opal] We’ve been made. Stand down. 444 00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:21,180 -[tentative chuckles] -[Maisy] Surprise. 445 00:20:21,973 --> 00:20:23,182 Whoa. What the fuck? 446 00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:27,895 [panting] 447 00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:31,357 -Are you serious? -What the fuck, Boomers? 448 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,317 -Hey, girls. -It’s not a prank! 449 00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:35,569 It’s torture! Oh, good, you’re all caught up. 450 00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:38,656 [♪ Vampire Weekend: "White Sky"] 451 00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:41,325 -[sighs] -[Billie chuckles] 452 00:20:41,409 --> 00:20:46,288 ♪ 453 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,502 That was pretty low using your evil genius 454 00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,045 against your older brother. 455 00:20:53,129 --> 00:20:54,797 I think you mean 'thank you.' 456 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,799 For scaring the shit out of me? 457 00:20:56,882 --> 00:20:59,927 For dragging your mopey ass romance into the second act. 458 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:02,722 I was waiting for the perfect moment. 459 00:21:02,805 --> 00:21:05,349 Did you or did you not get your first kiss with Billie? 460 00:21:06,559 --> 00:21:07,601 Yes. 461 00:21:08,686 --> 00:21:09,729 You're welcome. 462 00:21:09,812 --> 00:21:12,732 ♪ 463 00:21:12,815 --> 00:21:14,525 Wow. [sighs] 464 00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,277 And that, twisted sisters, 465 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,279 is why you should never steal my weed. 466 00:21:18,362 --> 00:21:19,447 -Sorry. -Okay. 467 00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,073 Won't happen again. 468 00:21:21,157 --> 00:21:22,908 We need to tell mom that Justin and Maisy 469 00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:24,410 are the witches’ bitches. 470 00:21:25,161 --> 00:21:27,580 It-- it was fake, Keri. 471 00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:28,748 All of it. 472 00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:31,959 How high up does this thing go? 473 00:21:33,753 --> 00:21:35,046 You have no idea. 474 00:21:35,129 --> 00:21:38,174 ♪ You waited since lunch ♪ 475 00:21:38,257 --> 00:21:40,718 ♪ It all comes at once... ♪ 476 00:21:41,385 --> 00:21:42,678 [Billie] What is wrong with you? 477 00:21:42,762 --> 00:21:43,929 What's wrong with all of you? 478 00:21:44,013 --> 00:21:45,264 You people are insane. 479 00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:47,475 In what universe did you think 480 00:21:47,558 --> 00:21:49,101 -this would be okay? -[Justin] I’m sorry. I’m sorry. 481 00:21:49,185 --> 00:21:50,478 [Billie] Do you think abuse is funny? 482 00:21:50,561 --> 00:21:53,314 Do you? I mean, unbelievable. 483 00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:56,275 Absolutely unbelievable. I almost jumped off the deck. 484 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,360 My parents are going to freak, Justin. 485 00:21:58,444 --> 00:22:00,071 And I thought Olive was dead. Keri, too. 486 00:22:00,154 --> 00:22:01,363 I was legitimately fucking scared. 487 00:22:01,447 --> 00:22:04,116 -I know, I'm sorry. -Good. 488 00:22:04,825 --> 00:22:06,368 Because remember, the body count 489 00:22:06,452 --> 00:22:07,870 is always higher in the sequel. 490 00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:11,540 The sequel? 491 00:22:11,624 --> 00:22:14,168 Oh, yeah, you’re a dead man next year. 492 00:22:14,251 --> 00:22:16,879 [gasps] You are a good little actress. 493 00:22:16,962 --> 00:22:19,715 -[Justin] I felt terrible. -[Billie chuckles] 494 00:22:19,799 --> 00:22:22,009 ♪ The sins of pride and envy ♪ 495 00:22:22,093 --> 00:22:23,677 ♪ And on the second floor ♪ 496 00:22:23,761 --> 00:22:25,179 ♪ The Richard Serra Skate Park... ♪ 497 00:22:25,262 --> 00:22:27,223 Maureen, hi, do you have a second? 498 00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:31,185 Has it been 20 years since I called you by your real name? 499 00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:33,187 No, I want to float something by you. 500 00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:34,688 I am sorry. 501 00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,857 I'm sorry that I left you with Maisy 502 00:22:36,941 --> 00:22:39,276 when I was off getting off. 503 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,987 Riley said you got tied to a tree for me, so... 504 00:22:42,863 --> 00:22:43,948 say we’re even. 505 00:22:45,991 --> 00:22:48,244 -And I heard you calling me. -Yeah. 506 00:22:48,327 --> 00:22:49,912 I'd be dead because you were beyond late. 507 00:22:49,995 --> 00:22:51,497 Right. 508 00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:52,915 You came for me. 509 00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:56,335 [sighs] Of course I did. 510 00:22:57,628 --> 00:23:01,715 ♪ Imagining your wolfords in a Ball upon the sink there... ♪ 511 00:23:01,799 --> 00:23:03,551 See, it’s not just about the crossbow 512 00:23:03,634 --> 00:23:04,760 or the roof, Wayne. 513 00:23:05,594 --> 00:23:07,888 It’s you campaigning for Boathouse president 514 00:23:07,972 --> 00:23:09,682 after I was humiliated. 515 00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:12,685 It’s you obsessing about Teesa. 516 00:23:14,186 --> 00:23:17,773 It’s not sharing the Astral Nebula. 517 00:23:17,857 --> 00:23:19,316 I think I have a concussion. 518 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,819 See, it's always about you. 519 00:23:24,488 --> 00:23:28,409 [Wayne gagging] 520 00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:36,333 -[knock on door] -Hey. 521 00:23:38,002 --> 00:23:39,170 Can I come in? 522 00:23:39,879 --> 00:23:41,505 So you can tie me up again? 523 00:23:41,589 --> 00:23:43,632 [scoffs] So I can apologize. 524 00:23:43,716 --> 00:23:45,634 I might have gotten a bit too method today. 525 00:23:45,718 --> 00:23:47,887 Psycho, the word you're looking for is psycho. 526 00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,555 Well, it was good for the role. 527 00:23:49,638 --> 00:23:51,390 But I am sorry about tying you up. 528 00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:54,101 -That was not cool. -[sighs] 529 00:23:54,185 --> 00:23:56,687 Well, your sociopathy aside, 530 00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:58,439 Prank Day was a huge hit. 531 00:23:59,190 --> 00:24:01,233 Billie wants to make it an annual tradition. 532 00:24:01,317 --> 00:24:02,526 Wonderful. 533 00:24:03,611 --> 00:24:04,904 You guys better start looking. 534 00:24:04,987 --> 00:24:06,697 Places go fast around here. 535 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,324 Yeah, well, you know, we've actually grown kind of 536 00:24:08,407 --> 00:24:09,867 fond of this little hellhole, 537 00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:11,452 so I'm going to call Whoreen manana 538 00:24:11,535 --> 00:24:12,786 about renting it next summer. 539 00:24:13,495 --> 00:24:14,580 Oh, no. 540 00:24:15,497 --> 00:24:16,665 Whoreen’s selling. 541 00:24:17,291 --> 00:24:19,376 What? What the fuck. 542 00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:21,378 Oh, man. 543 00:24:21,462 --> 00:24:23,130 This place is cursed. 544 00:24:23,214 --> 00:24:25,674 Teesa’s Insta post got so much attention. 545 00:24:25,758 --> 00:24:27,426 And you and Billie are the first ones 546 00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:29,428 to rent it and not disappear or die. 547 00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:30,804 That's huge curb appeal. 548 00:24:33,057 --> 00:24:36,018 And I wonder who gave Whoreen the idea to sell. 549 00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:38,687 The lake’s changing. 550 00:24:38,771 --> 00:24:40,814 You can't stay stuck in the past forever. 551 00:24:42,274 --> 00:24:43,901 But it was fun having you guys here. 552 00:24:44,693 --> 00:24:47,780 Killian and Opal are really going to miss their cousin. 553 00:24:52,326 --> 00:24:54,828 Great idea for Prank Day, by the way. 554 00:24:54,912 --> 00:24:56,121 Best one ever. 555 00:24:58,082 --> 00:24:59,917 -[sighs] -[door bangs shut] 556 00:25:01,335 --> 00:25:03,879 She wins. Every time. 557 00:25:04,713 --> 00:25:08,592 [♪ Dickie Goodman: "Horror Movies"] 558 00:25:09,635 --> 00:25:12,513 ♪ I took my baby To a horror show ♪ 559 00:25:13,639 --> 00:25:16,350 ♪ That's the only place She wants to go ♪ 560 00:25:17,309 --> 00:25:20,479 ♪ She thinks that Dracula is so divine ♪ 561 00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:24,233 ♪ And she wants to go spinning With the Frankenstein ♪ 562 00:25:25,317 --> 00:25:28,320 ♪ My baby loves A horror movie ♪ 563 00:25:29,113 --> 00:25:32,241 ♪ My baby loves A horror movie ♪ 564 00:25:32,992 --> 00:25:36,245 ♪ My baby loves A horror movie ♪ 565 00:25:36,328 --> 00:25:38,789 ♪ Yeah, well Ow ♪ 566 00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:43,711 ♪ She's mad about the monster From the Black Museum ♪ 567 00:25:43,794 --> 00:25:47,631 ♪ The Invisible Man And she can't even see him ♪ 568 00:25:47,715 --> 00:25:51,176 ♪ I'd better do something To get close to her ♪ 569 00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:55,097 ♪ Or I'll lose out To Godzilla or Tarantula ♪ 570 00:25:56,098 --> 00:25:59,476 ♪ My baby loves A horror movie ♪ 571 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:01,603 ♪ Yeah, well Ow ♪