1
00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:05,448
- "Batman
The Audio Adventures."
2
00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:06,949
[cheers and applause]
3
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:09,619
trio: ♪ Na-na na-na na-na
na-na na na-na na ♪
4
00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:13,289
♪ Na-na na-na na-na na-na
na na-na now ♪
5
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:15,758
[acoustic guitar music]
6
00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:17,627
♪ Brothers and sisters ♪
7
00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:21,130
♪ Let it ring
throughout the land ♪
8
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,466
♪ A loving day is coming ♪
9
00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,935
♪ See the footprints
in the sand ♪
10
00:00:26,035 --> 00:00:28,438
♪ Oh, in the sand ♪
11
00:00:28,538 --> 00:00:31,140
trio: ♪ They're made
by freedom shoes ♪
12
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,976
♪ Gotta tie my freedom shoes ♪
13
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♪ Better shine
my freedom shoes ♪
14
00:00:36,879 --> 00:00:41,584
♪ Walk a mile
in freedom shoes ♪
15
00:00:41,651 --> 00:00:43,086
♪ ♪
16
00:00:43,152 --> 00:00:45,822
- ♪ My freedom shoes
are shiny ♪
17
00:00:45,922 --> 00:00:48,558
♪ My freedom shoes are neat ♪
18
00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:52,929
♪ My freedom shoes protect
my freedom feet ♪
19
00:00:52,995 --> 00:00:54,497
♪ ♪
20
00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:57,233
trio: ♪ Na-na na-na na-na
na-na na na-na na ♪
21
00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:00,136
♪ Na-na na-na na-na na-na
na na-na na ♪
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00:01:00,236 --> 00:01:01,604
♪ ♪
23
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Peace, man.
24
00:01:04,073 --> 00:01:05,475
- All right,
young people of Gotham,
25
00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:07,610
let's give it up
for teen folk sensation
26
00:01:07,677 --> 00:01:09,345
Avie, Davie, and Hector!
27
00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:12,315
[cheers and applause]
28
00:01:12,415 --> 00:01:15,151
Wow, we have a well-behaved
group of youngsters
29
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out here at Riverwalk tonight.
30
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Come on, you kids,
let's hear it for courtesy.
31
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[blows raspberry]
32
00:01:21,691 --> 00:01:23,126
[all snickering]
33
00:01:23,192 --> 00:01:25,495
- Good one, Butch.
- Shut up, Spike.
34
00:01:25,595 --> 00:01:27,697
- Excuse me,
you're very impolite.
35
00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:29,999
- Ah, go step on a rake,
clean bean.
36
00:01:30,099 --> 00:01:31,534
[gasps]
37
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- Yeah, here's a nickel
for the trolley, you drip.
38
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- Oh!
[all snickering]
39
00:01:34,871 --> 00:01:37,206
- Oh, leave her alone.
- What's it to you, Tommy?
40
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,175
- Yeah,
what's with you tonight, Tommy?
41
00:01:39,275 --> 00:01:40,710
This whole scene's a drag.
42
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,545
Let's go bust windows
in the warehouse district.
43
00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:44,046
- And now,
teens of Gotham City,
44
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,548
the moment
this musical festival
45
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has been building to
all night.
46
00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:51,053
Give it up for
the Electric Soda Fountain!
47
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,889
- Oh, man,
the real cornball stuff.
48
00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:54,624
- We can't leave now.
- [cackles]
49
00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:57,059
- I definitely think it's time
to bust out the stash.
50
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,695
- Ah, yes. Butch is holding
the thrill pills.
51
00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:01,631
You ready to spook your noodle,
Tommy?
52
00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:04,467
- What, seriously?
You scored scarecrow drugs?
53
00:02:04,534 --> 00:02:07,203
- Quality scarecrow drugs.
The new stuff.
54
00:02:07,303 --> 00:02:08,504
What do I take?
55
00:02:08,571 --> 00:02:10,573
I've never done
a real deal fright trip.
56
00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:12,375
No? Ah, it's the best.
57
00:02:12,475 --> 00:02:15,011
It's like watching the greatest
horror movie ever made
58
00:02:15,077 --> 00:02:17,813
while you're riding the world's
sickest roller coaster.
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00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,582
Purest thrills, man.
60
00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:21,551
- [chuckles]
- Okay, I'm in.
61
00:02:21,651 --> 00:02:23,486
- Ah, yes.
[zipper opens]
62
00:02:23,553 --> 00:02:26,355
Okay, here, you're gonna want
some candy corn
63
00:02:26,422 --> 00:02:28,324
to take the edge
off the ghosties.
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00:02:28,391 --> 00:02:30,927
- [pills clattering]
- Okay, down the hatch.
65
00:02:31,027 --> 00:02:32,161
[swallows]
66
00:02:32,228 --> 00:02:33,863
So how long does it take to...
67
00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:35,898
- Wait, maybe you don't take
the candy corn
68
00:02:35,998 --> 00:02:38,100
and ghosties together.
69
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,535
- What?
- Oh, shoot.
70
00:02:39,602 --> 00:02:41,604
Did he take corn
and ghosties together?
71
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,339
Oh, man,
I think that was too much.
72
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What do you mean, too much?
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[music distorts and slows]
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♪ ♪
75
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Butch?
76
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,052
- Man, he's tripping.
Look at him, Spike.
77
00:02:56,118 --> 00:02:58,120
- Butch?
- Tommy, you okay, man?
78
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,122
I don't feel too good, Butch.
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00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:04,060
- Butch can't hear you,
but I can.
80
00:03:04,126 --> 00:03:05,394
Hello, Tommy.
81
00:03:05,461 --> 00:03:06,963
What did you say, Spike?
82
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,398
- [distorted]
I didn't say anything, man.
83
00:03:09,465 --> 00:03:11,567
He didn't say anything, man.
84
00:03:11,634 --> 00:03:15,037
I did. This is Scarecrow.
85
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- Boo!
- [whimpers]
86
00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:18,541
- [high-pitched voice]
Man, he's seriously tripping.
87
00:03:18,608 --> 00:03:19,709
What do we do?
88
00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:22,812
- You are
seriously tripping, man.
89
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,213
What do you do?
90
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,815
- Tommy, listen,
this is real important.
91
00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:27,483
- You gotta--
- Ah!
92
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:30,152
- Don't listen to them, Tommy.
They're not your friends.
93
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:33,289
Blink once
if you understand me.
94
00:03:33,389 --> 00:03:35,725
- Good.
- What?
95
00:03:35,791 --> 00:03:36,993
Where are you?
96
00:03:37,093 --> 00:03:39,962
- Oh, you nut,
I'm in your head.
97
00:03:40,062 --> 00:03:42,665
Don't you remember?
You invited me.
98
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:44,767
[dissonant shrieking]
99
00:03:44,834 --> 00:03:47,503
Mm, it's nice in here.
100
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:51,407
It's red and warm.
101
00:03:51,474 --> 00:03:54,410
But I'm afraid
there--there's no windows
102
00:03:54,477 --> 00:03:57,580
and no doors, Tommy,
so obviously--
103
00:03:57,647 --> 00:03:59,415
[grunts]
104
00:03:59,482 --> 00:04:01,917
I'm gonna have to eat
my way out
105
00:04:01,984 --> 00:04:03,252
from the inside.
106
00:04:03,319 --> 00:04:05,154
- [munching]
- [grunts]
107
00:04:05,254 --> 00:04:06,956
[high-pitched whirring]
What is--what is that?
108
00:04:07,023 --> 00:04:09,659
- W-what is making that noise?
- Maybe it's nothing.
109
00:04:09,759 --> 00:04:13,162
Maybe this is all
just my drugs.
110
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Maybe you're just curled up
in a ball on the ground
111
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,468
at the Gotham Youth
Music Festival,
112
00:04:19,535 --> 00:04:22,705
and none of this is happening.
113
00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:24,373
Or...
114
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,676
Oh, shoot.
115
00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:29,679
Maybe the concert
was hours ago.
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00:04:29,779 --> 00:04:31,013
[wind blowing]
117
00:04:31,113 --> 00:04:33,549
- [echoing]
Hey, where'd everybody go?
118
00:04:35,017 --> 00:04:37,620
Think hard, Tommy.
119
00:04:37,687 --> 00:04:39,855
Where are you anyway?
120
00:04:39,955 --> 00:04:41,691
- ♪ Heebie Jeebie
demon's head ♪
121
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♪ Everyone you know is dead ♪
122
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- Oh, shoot.
Maybe the concert was days ago.
123
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:50,966
Oh, gee, you must be hungry.
124
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:52,401
What's that smell?
125
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,071
- What luck,
I've invited some friends over.
126
00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:56,706
We're just sitting down to eat.
127
00:04:56,806 --> 00:04:58,240
[all laughing,
Tommy whimpering]
128
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:01,677
Tommy, Tommy, you're afraid,
aren't you?
129
00:05:01,744 --> 00:05:05,247
You're afraid,
and it's delicious.
130
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,216
- [whimpers]
- Mmm.
131
00:05:07,316 --> 00:05:10,419
Oh, your fear, Tommy,
132
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:14,890
it's fatty and rich yet bitter.
133
00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:19,595
It's like bone marrow spread
on burnt black toast,
134
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:22,198
and I want to gobble it all up.
135
00:05:22,264 --> 00:05:23,599
Mmm, gobble!
136
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,202
- Mmm. Gobble, gobble, gobble.
- I don't--
137
00:05:26,268 --> 00:05:28,204
Oh, Tommy,
138
00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:29,772
rude of me.
139
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,340
Won't you join us?
140
00:05:31,407 --> 00:05:33,275
I made you something special.
141
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,111
- I'm good. I don't need--
142
00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,679
Take the cover off the dish.
143
00:05:36,746 --> 00:05:38,280
- I don't wanna take
the cover--
144
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,349
- [distorted] Take the cover
off the dish, Tommy!
145
00:05:40,416 --> 00:05:42,618
[crash]
What is that?
146
00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,954
- What? No!
- What's happening?
147
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:47,123
[thuds and impacts]
Batman!
148
00:05:47,223 --> 00:05:49,291
Take him down.
Use the grenades.
149
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,560
Blow the charges!
[explosion]
150
00:05:51,627 --> 00:05:53,229
[thuds and impacts]
151
00:05:53,295 --> 00:05:55,131
Time to shuffle off to Buffalo.
152
00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:57,032
Please, what is happening?
153
00:05:57,099 --> 00:05:58,267
- Tommy.
- Who--
154
00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,602
- You're going to be
all right.
155
00:05:59,702 --> 00:06:01,070
I'm going to get you
out of here.
156
00:06:01,137 --> 00:06:02,438
- Do you understand?
- What?
157
00:06:02,538 --> 00:06:04,140
- You've been abducted
by the Scarecrow,
158
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,808
but I'm here to rescue you.
159
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:08,878
- [whimpers] You're--you're--
- That's right, Tommy.
160
00:06:08,944 --> 00:06:10,312
I'm Batman.
161
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:11,881
[echoing]
Batman. Batman. Batman.
162
00:06:11,947 --> 00:06:14,417
- Gotham,
the city that never sleeps
163
00:06:14,483 --> 00:06:17,086
because it lies
on a bed of nails.
164
00:06:17,153 --> 00:06:20,322
Join us once again
for a tale of life and death
165
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,757
in Gotham City.
166
00:06:21,824 --> 00:06:23,492
The calendar says March 1st,
167
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:24,827
but it's just another day
168
00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:27,329
in the Scarecrow's reign
of terror.
169
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:29,832
[dramatic music]
170
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,501
The rooftop
of Gotham Police headquarters
171
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,637
offers an unrivaled
vantage point
172
00:06:34,737 --> 00:06:37,807
on all eight districts
of the world's largest city.
173
00:06:37,907 --> 00:06:42,111
By the last official census,
12 million desperate souls
174
00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:43,946
claim citizenship in Gotham,
175
00:06:44,013 --> 00:06:46,782
and Commissioner Gordon
takes seriously his oath
176
00:06:46,849 --> 00:06:49,685
to protect and serve
each one of them.
177
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:52,021
But tonight,
his immediate concerns
178
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,857
are focused on one citizen
in particular.
179
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,759
Hi, sweetie. It's Dad.
180
00:06:56,826 --> 00:06:58,327
How are things at the library?
181
00:06:58,427 --> 00:07:00,529
I'm sorry, can you speak up
a little bit, honey?
182
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,364
No, I guess you can't.
183
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,700
That's right, it's a library.
184
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,203
I'm sorry.
Well, you can just listen then.
185
00:07:07,303 --> 00:07:10,439
I wanted to call and tell you
that boy that went missing
186
00:07:10,506 --> 00:07:13,542
from the Youth Concert,
the Batman brought him home
187
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:16,212
to his parents,
but he is in rough shape.
188
00:07:16,312 --> 00:07:18,380
Seems he OD'd
on Scarecrow drugs
189
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,182
and got ditch by his friends,
190
00:07:20,282 --> 00:07:23,118
and then at some point--
why am I telling you this?
191
00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:25,120
I thought you said you went
to school with this boy.
192
00:07:25,187 --> 00:07:29,124
Tommy Zeppetelli,
I think his name--no?
193
00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:30,392
Huh.
194
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,728
Well, boy, I thought
that y'all went to--
195
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,230
Okay, fine.
196
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:36,465
I just--you know
you're at that age
197
00:07:36,532 --> 00:07:39,068
where bad ideas can seem
like good ideas.
198
00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,237
And in case
you ever felt pressured
199
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:43,339
to take Scarecrow drugs,
I mean,
200
00:07:43,405 --> 00:07:44,740
what is it they say?
201
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,342
It's like watching
a horror movie
202
00:07:46,408 --> 00:07:49,078
while you're getting sick
on a roller coaster.
203
00:07:49,178 --> 00:07:51,013
What you mean, me?
204
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,148
Three cigarettes today.
205
00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:55,851
But that's it.
I'm done for tonight.
206
00:07:55,918 --> 00:07:57,586
And then tomorrow it'll be two.
207
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,889
And I promise, I'm gonna quit
again by the weekend.
208
00:07:59,989 --> 00:08:02,391
Wait,
how did this become about me?
209
00:08:02,491 --> 00:08:05,094
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, okay, sweetie.
210
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,395
I love you too.
211
00:08:06,495 --> 00:08:08,430
[footsteps]
212
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:09,698
Where are my smokes?
213
00:08:09,765 --> 00:08:11,200
- I assume
you're looking for these?
214
00:08:11,267 --> 00:08:13,068
Ah! How?
215
00:08:13,168 --> 00:08:14,770
And when did you have
the time to--
216
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,438
- I'll give them back to you,
of course.
217
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,774
But only if you've decided
to be dishonest
218
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:21,110
- with your daughter.
- What? No.
219
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,878
No, I was actually
gonna throw them out,
220
00:08:22,945 --> 00:08:24,446
quit a few days early.
221
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:27,283
- Mm, glad I could help.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
222
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:28,884
- You know, you're going
to give me a heart attack
223
00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:30,252
before the cigarettes ever do.
224
00:08:30,352 --> 00:08:31,620
- I'm easily able
to resuscitate you,
225
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,888
should that happen.
226
00:08:32,955 --> 00:08:34,356
- Oh, well,
that's good to know.
227
00:08:34,423 --> 00:08:36,725
- How's the boy?
- Physically unharmed.
228
00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:38,093
Deeply traumatized.
229
00:08:38,193 --> 00:08:39,428
I found him in another one
230
00:08:39,528 --> 00:08:41,530
of Scarecrow's makeshift
haunted houses.
231
00:08:41,597 --> 00:08:43,566
This one was
an abandoned funeral home
232
00:08:43,632 --> 00:08:45,801
in Sycamore Hill,
elaborately staged
233
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:49,104
to evoke raw terror
in his hostage like the others,
234
00:08:49,204 --> 00:08:51,974
but this was something new.
235
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,643
The exterior was dark,
unguarded.
236
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,712
Cell phone data placed
the boy inside,
237
00:08:56,779 --> 00:08:58,480
but I decided not to take
any chances
238
00:08:58,581 --> 00:08:59,748
with entry at street level.
239
00:08:59,815 --> 00:09:00,950
[grappling hook clanks]
240
00:09:01,050 --> 00:09:03,218
Scarecrow loves
his booby traps.
241
00:09:03,285 --> 00:09:05,654
I slipped in
through a second story window.
242
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,290
Thermal showed six hostiles
directly below me
243
00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:09,992
guarding the door
to the cellar.
244
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:12,828
Bruisers with beer guts
and sawed-off pool cues.
245
00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,830
More of the Scarecrow's
biker goons.
246
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,265
[strangled yelling]
247
00:09:16,332 --> 00:09:18,167
The abducted boy was down
in that cellar.
248
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:20,603
Every second I delayed
was an eternity for him
249
00:09:20,669 --> 00:09:22,638
in Scarecrow's
manufactured nightmare,
250
00:09:22,738 --> 00:09:26,342
so I decided on a strategy
of maximum theatricality,
251
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:27,843
micro-charges at my feet
252
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:29,678
sufficient to blast
a hole in the floor.
253
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:30,813
[boom]
254
00:09:30,913 --> 00:09:32,181
Drop down on them from above
255
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,483
in a hail of plaster
and choking black smoke.
256
00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:36,752
Heart rates and blood pressure
in all of them
257
00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:38,020
went through the roof.
258
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,788
I've dealt
with this gang before.
259
00:09:39,855 --> 00:09:41,323
They're twitchy and paranoid,
260
00:09:41,423 --> 00:09:43,859
but even better,
they're afraid of me,
261
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:44,860
so I made my move.
262
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,762
[thuds and yelling]
263
00:09:46,829 --> 00:09:48,497
The Scarecrow has a new trick.
264
00:09:48,597 --> 00:09:50,466
They were energized
by their fear.
265
00:09:50,532 --> 00:09:52,635
I don't know what drugs
he has them on now,
266
00:09:52,701 --> 00:09:54,937
but I know a synthetic
adrenaline response.
267
00:09:55,004 --> 00:09:58,173
The more afraid they felt,
the more focused they became.
268
00:09:58,273 --> 00:09:59,675
It threw me off my rhythm.
269
00:09:59,775 --> 00:10:01,977
I took a pool cue hard
to the throat. [grunts]
270
00:10:02,044 --> 00:10:04,380
Three of them rushed me,
and I was pinned to the floor,
271
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,547
boots on my skull.
272
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,182
- And the fourth...
- Ha-ha-ha!
273
00:10:07,282 --> 00:10:09,118
- Apparently thought to bring
along a chain saw.
274
00:10:09,184 --> 00:10:10,853
[motor chugs]
275
00:10:10,953 --> 00:10:13,856
I had one option,
if I could just reach my belt.
276
00:10:13,956 --> 00:10:15,557
[motor chugging]
[all grunting]
277
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,726
[beeping, zapping, screaming]
278
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,194
[engine growls]
279
00:10:19,294 --> 00:10:21,063
Rolled out of the way
with nothing to spare.
280
00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,399
Bottom line,
he missed his one shot.
281
00:10:23,499 --> 00:10:25,467
[grunts and thuds]
282
00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:28,470
He was sweating profusely,
wild-eyed, terrified
283
00:10:28,537 --> 00:10:30,172
of what I was
about to do to him,
284
00:10:30,239 --> 00:10:32,241
but he still fought
like the devil himself
285
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,575
was giving the orders.
286
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:35,077
I had sympathy for the mope,
287
00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:36,812
but that didn't mean
I went easy on him.
288
00:10:36,879 --> 00:10:38,647
[grunts and thuds]
289
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:43,018
I heard something coming
from the cellar.
290
00:10:43,085 --> 00:10:44,253
[low growling]
291
00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,088
Infrared detected
concentrated fumes
292
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:48,424
escaping from the crack
under the door.
293
00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:49,925
Hallucinogenic gas.
294
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,226
The air down there
295
00:10:51,326 --> 00:10:53,829
was literally saturated
with nightmares.
296
00:10:53,896 --> 00:10:56,265
I deployed the respirator
in my mask,
297
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:57,733
kicked in the door.
298
00:10:57,833 --> 00:11:00,269
I thought I was prepared
for what was behind it.
299
00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:01,670
I was wrong.
300
00:11:01,737 --> 00:11:04,740
Crouching at the foot
of the rotten staircase,
301
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,075
it made no sense.
302
00:11:06,175 --> 00:11:08,110
- It was--
- A helicopter?
303
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:09,445
[helicopter chopping]
Hey!
304
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:10,913
Who do you think you are?
305
00:11:11,013 --> 00:11:12,848
You can't land that thing here.
306
00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:15,284
- Apologies are due
to patrons of this broadcast.
307
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:18,520
The rest of Batman's harrowing
report will have to wait
308
00:11:18,587 --> 00:11:21,090
because the airspace
above Police HQ
309
00:11:21,190 --> 00:11:22,725
has just been violated
310
00:11:22,791 --> 00:11:25,961
by a whimsically decorated
Sikorsky helicopter.
311
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:29,631
- I said you cannot land
that thing--
312
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,734
Ahoy, there! I say!
313
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,869
What ho! Ha-ha!
314
00:11:33,936 --> 00:11:35,904
Oswald Cobblepot?
315
00:11:35,971 --> 00:11:37,406
Ahoy, I say!
316
00:11:37,473 --> 00:11:40,042
Permission to come aboard,
Gordon, old sport?
317
00:11:40,109 --> 00:11:43,545
- What--what do you think
you're doing with that thing?
318
00:11:43,612 --> 00:11:45,114
My Whirlybird?
319
00:11:45,214 --> 00:11:47,649
It's new. Do you like it?
320
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,418
- You can't park
that thing here!
321
00:11:49,485 --> 00:11:50,886
Actually, he can.
322
00:11:50,953 --> 00:11:53,922
The GCPD helipad is designated
a public resource
323
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:55,324
under the new provisions
established
324
00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:57,259
by his civilian oversight
board.
325
00:11:57,326 --> 00:12:00,062
- Now, there's a man
with all the answers,
326
00:12:00,129 --> 00:12:03,565
unless the question is,
"Do you know a good tailor?"
327
00:12:03,632 --> 00:12:05,567
[chuckles]
328
00:12:05,634 --> 00:12:06,835
Oh, I am good.
329
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,638
Well, well,
my chiropteran comrade.
330
00:12:09,738 --> 00:12:11,673
Long time, no see, eh?
331
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:15,477
Oh, so you two really do have
an old boys club up here.
332
00:12:15,577 --> 00:12:17,679
- The rumors are true.
- Yes.
333
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,114
While you profiteer,
334
00:12:19,181 --> 00:12:21,517
we're working to bring
the Scarecrow to justice.
335
00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:23,519
I advise you to keep
your provocations
336
00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:27,022
from interfering with
vital police work, Penguin.
337
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:31,827
I answer to my name, Batman.
338
00:12:31,927 --> 00:12:34,663
Do me the courtesy
of respecting that.
339
00:12:34,763 --> 00:12:36,365
As for your efforts
to apprehend
340
00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:39,134
an unusually creative
drug pusher
341
00:12:39,201 --> 00:12:43,038
in a spook-house mask,
oh, do tell.
342
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,007
But what the good people
of this city
343
00:12:45,107 --> 00:12:48,710
really want to know is,
what about the Joker?
344
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:52,114
Why is Gotham's
public enemy number one
345
00:12:52,181 --> 00:12:53,849
still out there?
346
00:12:53,949 --> 00:12:56,285
- Joker can't simply be hauled
in off the street,
347
00:12:56,351 --> 00:12:58,053
even when he can be found.
348
00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,788
He's got extensive insurance.
349
00:12:59,855 --> 00:13:02,291
- What, what, what?
What insurance?
350
00:13:02,357 --> 00:13:05,194
- A vast network of disciples,
devotees,
351
00:13:05,294 --> 00:13:06,528
willing hostages.
352
00:13:06,628 --> 00:13:08,664
There are untold numbers
of desperate souls
353
00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:10,499
in this city who will
do harm to themselves
354
00:13:10,566 --> 00:13:14,403
and others unless the Joker
is around to tell them not to.
355
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,205
He's like a cancer
that has grown
356
00:13:16,305 --> 00:13:17,906
in the broken people of Gotham,
357
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,909
but he's also the chemo
that's keeping them alive.
358
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,344
Balderdash.
359
00:13:22,411 --> 00:13:25,581
The city deserves to be rid
of that maniac,
360
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:29,585
and I'm going to be the one
to get the job done.
361
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:32,654
Now go find a mummers parade,
you ridiculous kook.
362
00:13:32,721 --> 00:13:35,023
I've got real work to do.
363
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:37,759
- We got eyes on him, Batman.
- I know you do.
364
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,761
But there're going to be limits
to our control
365
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,096
of the situation.
366
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:42,598
Harvey Dent's legal expertise
367
00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:44,933
has given Penguin
appalling latitude.
368
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,236
I can only imagine
the strain on Harvey.
369
00:13:47,336 --> 00:13:49,171
He was in bad need
of mental health care
370
00:13:49,238 --> 00:13:51,506
even before the Penguin
started running him ragged.
371
00:13:51,573 --> 00:13:53,175
- Well, at least he's been
off the street.
372
00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:55,510
- My guess is the Penguin
has him medicated.
373
00:13:55,577 --> 00:13:56,845
It's a low priority.
374
00:13:56,912 --> 00:13:58,881
We need to remain focused
on the Scarecrow.
375
00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:01,583
- Well, I've got some good news
on that front.
376
00:14:01,683 --> 00:14:03,418
Just got word
from our undercover man
377
00:14:03,518 --> 00:14:04,953
inside the Scarecrow gang.
378
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:06,221
His cover is holding?
379
00:14:06,288 --> 00:14:07,589
- Says they don't suspect
a thing,
380
00:14:07,689 --> 00:14:10,859
and tonight,
he meets the man himself.
381
00:14:10,926 --> 00:14:13,428
If all goes well,
in a matter of hours,
382
00:14:13,528 --> 00:14:16,865
we'll finally know the true
identity of the Scarecrow.
383
00:14:16,932 --> 00:14:18,567
A mask of burlap.
384
00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:22,604
The vacant stare of a thing
confected to terrify.
385
00:14:22,704 --> 00:14:25,641
But whose black eyes
blink behind it?
386
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:28,243
The answer is written
in invisible ink
387
00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:31,246
by the cramped hand
of life and death
388
00:14:31,313 --> 00:14:32,881
in Gotham City.
389
00:14:34,883 --> 00:14:37,319
- ♪ Let's sing a song
of six guns ♪
390
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,221
♪ A gullet full of rye ♪
391
00:14:39,288 --> 00:14:43,158
♪ Four and twenty blackbirds
juked in the pines ♪
392
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,160
♪ And when the pines
were rolling ♪
393
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:47,229
♪ The bats began to swing ♪
394
00:14:47,296 --> 00:14:49,264
♪ Now wasn't that
a shady trip ♪
395
00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:52,734
♪ To sweat the 403? ♪
396
00:14:52,801 --> 00:14:56,004
♪ Whoa, hey diddle diddle ♪
397
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,673
♪ There's a crack
in the fiddle ♪
398
00:14:57,773 --> 00:15:01,677
♪ So the count won't cover
the tune ♪
399
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:04,179
♪ 'Cause the little dog
gassed ♪
400
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,747
♪ To see such and such ♪
401
00:15:05,814 --> 00:15:09,251
♪ And the Dutch ran
a skeleton crew ♪
402
00:15:09,318 --> 00:15:10,686
[radio static]
403
00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:12,354
- In baseball news,
the streak continues
404
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,489
for the mighty swat fly shot.
405
00:15:14,589 --> 00:15:16,758
- Are you looking
for a kooky clown?
406
00:15:16,825 --> 00:15:19,461
Are you looking
for a silly clown?
407
00:15:19,528 --> 00:15:22,364
Are you looking
for a tipsy clown?
408
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:25,634
Then you're not looking
for Blabbo the Birthday Clown.
409
00:15:25,701 --> 00:15:27,436
Not anymore.
410
00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:30,172
Yes, Blabbo the Birthday Clown
has had a few ups and downs,
411
00:15:30,272 --> 00:15:32,941
but now he's as sober
as Old Mrs. Murphy.
412
00:15:33,008 --> 00:15:34,543
Hire him
for your child's birthday
413
00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:35,978
and the only thing
you'll smell
414
00:15:36,044 --> 00:15:37,546
on his breath
is laughter.
415
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:39,481
- ♪ Blabbo
the Birthday Clown ♪
416
00:15:39,548 --> 00:15:43,452
♪ You can call him,
he'll be right down ♪
417
00:15:43,518 --> 00:15:46,455
♪ Give him just a minute
though to start his car ♪
418
00:15:46,521 --> 00:15:50,225
♪ He has to blow into a hose ♪
419
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:53,962
♪ WGVO! ♪
420
00:15:54,029 --> 00:15:56,631
Enigmatic. Harlequin.
421
00:15:56,698 --> 00:15:59,634
Absurd. Harlequin.
422
00:15:59,701 --> 00:16:04,006
Irrepressible.
The Harlequin is finally here.
423
00:16:04,072 --> 00:16:07,409
Harlequin.
424
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:10,245
- Gotham, a greenhouse
of smoked glass
425
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,681
where only
the night flowers grow.
426
00:16:12,748 --> 00:16:16,084
Join us for another tale
of life and death
427
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,652
in Gotham City.
428
00:16:19,654 --> 00:16:21,323
Welcome to Crime Alley
429
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:24,192
and the infamous
Riverside Lounge.
430
00:16:24,259 --> 00:16:26,428
To call it a dive bar
is an insult
431
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:27,929
to holes in the wall.
432
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,665
It's a lint trap
for assorted lowlifes
433
00:16:30,732 --> 00:16:34,503
looking for some combination
of violence and oblivion.
434
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,605
The selection
of top shelf libations
435
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:38,707
on offer is easy to recite.
436
00:16:38,774 --> 00:16:40,609
There is no top shelf
437
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,444
or much else
in the way of décor,
438
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,578
for that matter.
439
00:16:43,678 --> 00:16:45,514
A sufficiency of barstools,
440
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:48,383
a tombstone radio squawking
on the sideboard,
441
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:53,055
and an ancient billiards table
covered in ratty scarlet felt.
442
00:16:53,121 --> 00:16:55,023
- You scratched.
- Says you.
443
00:16:55,090 --> 00:16:56,458
I get ball in hand.
444
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:57,959
You touch that cue ball,
445
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,461
I'll bust your thumbs with it.
446
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:01,630
- It's not so much
a local watering hole
447
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:03,799
as it is
a flea-bitten menagerie
448
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,634
of malfunctioning passions,
449
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,270
which also happens to be
a fitting description
450
00:17:08,370 --> 00:17:10,272
for the young woman
suddenly standing
451
00:17:10,372 --> 00:17:11,807
in the front doorway.
452
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:13,975
Look alive, you stewbums.
453
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:16,711
Who said start to drinking
without me?
454
00:17:16,778 --> 00:17:19,147
You got taters in your ears,
spud?
455
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,249
- Huh?
- I'm pulling your leg.
456
00:17:21,316 --> 00:17:24,820
Come on, I'll buy you a round.
Sheesh. What a daisy.
457
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,590
- Harleen Quinzel has
not slept in quite a while.
458
00:17:28,657 --> 00:17:31,159
Who can sleep?
There's so much to do.
459
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:33,428
- Oh, boy,
I tell you what, fellas.
460
00:17:33,495 --> 00:17:35,097
What a day I'm having.
461
00:17:35,163 --> 00:17:37,099
Pour me the usual,
would you, Johnny?
462
00:17:37,165 --> 00:17:40,302
And give that trick elbow
a workout, you bum.
463
00:17:40,402 --> 00:17:41,837
So get a load of this.
464
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:43,171
Lady next to me on the bus
465
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,073
wearing the tallest hat
you ever seen
466
00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:47,309
has a goldfish bowl in her lap.
467
00:17:47,409 --> 00:17:49,444
Big goldfish bowl
full of water.
468
00:17:49,511 --> 00:17:50,912
No goldfish.
469
00:17:50,979 --> 00:17:53,515
So I says to her, I says,
"Hey, lady.
470
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:56,118
I think your fish got off
a few stops ago."
471
00:17:56,184 --> 00:17:58,854
- You know what she says to me?
- Uh...
472
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:01,690
- She looks down all surprised,
and she says,
473
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,692
"Well, don't that beat it all?
474
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:07,162
I thought he was just giving me
the silent treatment again."
475
00:18:07,262 --> 00:18:09,164
Oh, don't laugh.
That's a stinker.
476
00:18:09,264 --> 00:18:11,366
All right, so what are
we playing here, you mugs?
477
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:12,767
9-Ball, Texas Express,
478
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:15,504
no break box Mosconi Cup?
Chalk or walk, boys.
479
00:18:15,604 --> 00:18:17,205
Who's got next? Hey, Johnny!
480
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,007
- Who the heck
is this loony dish?
481
00:18:19,107 --> 00:18:20,308
I got no idea.
482
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:22,711
- Hey,
where's that drink, Johnny?
483
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,813
Do I gotta pour it myself?
484
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,481
His name's Manuel.
485
00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:28,884
- And he can't pour you
your regular
486
00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:32,287
because you is not a regular.
487
00:18:32,354 --> 00:18:33,655
- No?
- No.
488
00:18:33,722 --> 00:18:35,223
- We don't know you
from Batman, lady.
489
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,993
- What?
Well, how do you like that?
490
00:18:38,059 --> 00:18:40,495
Huh? I thought
this was one of them joints
491
00:18:40,562 --> 00:18:42,564
where everybody knows
your name.
492
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:46,501
Well, apology accepted, fellas.
Let's move past it.
493
00:18:46,568 --> 00:18:49,971
I came all the way downtown
to this stink pit
494
00:18:50,038 --> 00:18:54,543
'cause I wanna discuss
a business proposition.
495
00:18:54,643 --> 00:18:56,344
- That's seems
to have consumed
496
00:18:56,411 --> 00:18:59,214
the last of the good will
in the establishment.
497
00:18:59,314 --> 00:19:03,151
The clientele of the Riverside
begins to move menacingly
498
00:19:03,218 --> 00:19:04,753
towards the loopy interloper.
499
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:06,688
- Okay, lady.
- Hey, no, no, no.
500
00:19:06,755 --> 00:19:09,391
No need to rush
the dance floor, youse guys.
501
00:19:09,491 --> 00:19:10,825
Okay, okay, you got me.
502
00:19:10,892 --> 00:19:12,761
Sharp eye.
I'm new around these parts.
503
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:15,197
- Well, we usually don't take
kindly to strangers,
504
00:19:15,263 --> 00:19:17,766
- do we, Nero?
- Not kindly, no, Rosso.
505
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,402
- What do we usually take
to strangers, Nero?
506
00:19:20,502 --> 00:19:23,505
- We take a blowtorch
to strangers mostly, Rosso.
507
00:19:23,572 --> 00:19:26,107
Though sometimes we take
a crowbar to them
508
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,443
on account of that's better
for the environment.
509
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:31,680
- Oh, whoa, you mooks
lay it on thick. I love it.
510
00:19:31,746 --> 00:19:33,915
And I don't want to waste a bit
of that moxie,
511
00:19:34,015 --> 00:19:35,183
so I'll cut to the chase.
512
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,786
I'm here
on very important business.
513
00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,955
- What business?
- It's simple.
514
00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:42,424
You see, a while back,
I was a doctor or something.
515
00:19:42,524 --> 00:19:44,459
But then I fell into a vat
and became a waitress
516
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:45,927
till my boss
ended up dumplings,
517
00:19:46,027 --> 00:19:47,462
then my banana rang and told me
518
00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:48,863
I needed to start a crime gang
519
00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:50,131
to get the Joker to marry me,
520
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:51,600
and now you're all caught up.
521
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:54,903
So who's in, and how soon
can you start criming?
522
00:19:54,970 --> 00:19:56,905
[all laughing]
523
00:19:56,972 --> 00:19:58,139
Oh, man.
524
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,075
That is good Gotham crazy,
lady.
525
00:20:00,141 --> 00:20:02,978
- Marry the Joker?
- You? As if.
526
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,980
Get lost, String Bean Jean.
527
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,315
You ain't exactly
the criming type.
528
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,551
[all laughing]
529
00:20:09,618 --> 00:20:13,321
- Yeah, go home
and feed your turtles, lady.
530
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:16,157
- Okay, Rosso,
three ball, corner pocket.
531
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:17,826
Ah!
532
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:20,462
- Exploding into
an incandescent crimson fury,
533
00:20:20,562 --> 00:20:23,231
Harleen suddenly snatches
the ivory billiard ball.
534
00:20:23,298 --> 00:20:24,966
- Hey, what the--
- Put that down.
535
00:20:25,066 --> 00:20:26,501
[growling]
536
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:27,736
- What in the--
[crack]
537
00:20:27,802 --> 00:20:29,170
Sweet petunia,
538
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,939
she just took
a bite out of the cue ball.
539
00:20:31,006 --> 00:20:32,107
Ow!
540
00:20:32,173 --> 00:20:34,609
I don't think
you spider monkeys
541
00:20:34,676 --> 00:20:36,344
are getting the picture.
542
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,480
- Get out of the way.
She's gonna flip the--
543
00:20:38,580 --> 00:20:40,582
- Jump jaybirds!
[crash]
544
00:20:40,649 --> 00:20:42,684
That cue ball's nothing.
545
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,419
I got a love inside me
546
00:20:44,486 --> 00:20:48,490
that's taking big, sloppy bites
outta my crackers, capisce?
547
00:20:48,590 --> 00:20:49,958
I needs me my man,
548
00:20:50,025 --> 00:20:52,127
or I'm fixing
to I don't know what.
549
00:20:52,193 --> 00:20:54,529
But I'm keen to woodshed
a few ideas
550
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:55,997
on you chicken cutlets.
551
00:20:56,097 --> 00:20:58,933
Now, you mugs getting
on board the program,
552
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,202
or am I kicking off
this crime spree
553
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:03,338
with a mass murder?
554
00:21:03,438 --> 00:21:05,674
- Holy cannoli.
It's a she-Joker.
555
00:21:05,774 --> 00:21:07,609
- They're like two peas
in a freaking pod.
556
00:21:07,676 --> 00:21:09,177
- Well?
- Hey, listen, lady.
557
00:21:09,277 --> 00:21:11,613
You're a natural.
That much ain't up for debate.
558
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,516
But you're kind of
going about this all wrong.
559
00:21:14,616 --> 00:21:15,950
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
560
00:21:16,017 --> 00:21:17,452
You can't get anywhere
in this town
561
00:21:17,519 --> 00:21:18,887
without a solid gimmick.
562
00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:20,388
- A gimmick?
- Yeah.
563
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,890
Some kind of an angle.
564
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,893
Like, nobody's just a crook
in Gotham anymore.
565
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,227
You can just go out there
566
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:27,662
like Plain Jane Doe.
567
00:21:27,729 --> 00:21:29,230
Crime is a big show now.
568
00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,565
You gotta have a theme,
you know?
569
00:21:30,665 --> 00:21:33,068
A theme. A look. The works.
570
00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:34,736
- No street cred
in Gotham anymore
571
00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:36,204
without a solid gimmick.
572
00:21:36,304 --> 00:21:38,907
A gimmick. A gimmick...
573
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:41,710
Huh, jeez,
I didn't think of that.
574
00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:43,745
I ain't got no gimmick.
575
00:21:43,845 --> 00:21:45,146
Well, it ain't that hard.
576
00:21:45,213 --> 00:21:47,248
Like, just pick a nursery rhyme
577
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:48,717
or an animal or something.
578
00:21:48,817 --> 00:21:51,419
Anything to get
real wound up about.
579
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,421
It'll give your crimes panache.
580
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:56,157
Or, you know,
can you make up puzzles
581
00:21:56,224 --> 00:21:58,693
- or wacky scavenger hunts?
- That's always a plus.
582
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,730
- No. I ain't--I ain't got
none of that stuff.
583
00:22:01,830 --> 00:22:04,766
I can't even really
think straight.
584
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:07,102
I thought
I could just do crimes.
585
00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:09,170
Ugh, what's a good gimmick?
586
00:22:09,237 --> 00:22:10,939
- Uh, what that--
uh, you know...
587
00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:13,775
- I can't do this by myself.
I need another sign.
588
00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:16,211
Somebody get my
a talking banana.
589
00:22:16,277 --> 00:22:19,114
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
We'll get you a whole bunch.
590
00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,449
- Just don't bite any more
pieces out of the joint, okay?
591
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,218
We're begging you.
592
00:22:23,284 --> 00:22:24,252
But signs and omens
593
00:22:24,352 --> 00:22:25,387
can present themselves
594
00:22:25,453 --> 00:22:27,021
in many mysterious ways.
595
00:22:27,088 --> 00:22:30,191
And frequently,
no tropical fruit is required.
596
00:22:30,258 --> 00:22:32,961
- You don't get it.
I ain't got no time to waste.
597
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:36,431
I need my pudding's attention
pronto, or else...
598
00:22:36,531 --> 00:22:37,799
- [whispering]
The Harlequin...
599
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,534
- Huh? What's that?
Who said that?
600
00:22:39,601 --> 00:22:41,302
- I didn't say nothing.
- Somebody--
601
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:44,539
somebody say my name?
You say my name, tough guy?
602
00:22:44,606 --> 00:22:46,141
- We still don't know
your name, lady.
603
00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:47,809
- Shush, shush, shush, shush,
shush, shush, shush!
604
00:22:47,909 --> 00:22:49,043
- The Harlequin...
- There it is again.
605
00:22:49,110 --> 00:22:51,045
Hey, turn up the radio, Johnny.
606
00:22:51,112 --> 00:22:52,480
His name's Manuel.
607
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,049
- Turn up the ever-loving
radio, Johnny.
608
00:22:55,116 --> 00:22:57,585
- The Harlequin...
- That's it.
609
00:22:57,652 --> 00:23:02,390
- The Harlequin.
Enigmatic. Absurd.
610
00:23:02,457 --> 00:23:06,060
- Irrepressible.
- Hey, that's me.
611
00:23:06,127 --> 00:23:07,996
- Prepare yourself,
Gotham City.
612
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,931
"The Harlequin"
is finally here
613
00:23:09,998 --> 00:23:12,100
at the Gotham Museum
of Fine Arts.
614
00:23:12,167 --> 00:23:15,637
Come see the world-renowned
masterpiece "The Harlequin,"
615
00:23:15,737 --> 00:23:17,338
now the most expensive
painting
616
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:20,008
ever to be sold at auction
to a private collector.
617
00:23:20,108 --> 00:23:22,977
On view for
a limited public engagement.
618
00:23:23,077 --> 00:23:25,680
"The Harlequin,"
the most exquisite
619
00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,348
of the Crimson Clown series
620
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:30,118
that scandalized the art world
a century ago.
621
00:23:30,185 --> 00:23:31,486
Get it on a tote bag.
622
00:23:31,586 --> 00:23:33,188
You gotta get it
on a tote bag.
623
00:23:33,288 --> 00:23:34,856
And, hey,
even if you hate art,
624
00:23:34,956 --> 00:23:37,125
it's a pretty big kick
seeing a goofy doodle
625
00:23:37,192 --> 00:23:39,127
that's worth a cool billion.
626
00:23:39,194 --> 00:23:42,864
"The Harlequin"
at Gotham Museum of Fine--
627
00:23:42,964 --> 00:23:45,300
- That's it!
- [whispering] Harlequin.
628
00:23:45,366 --> 00:23:47,702
Clown...Harley Quinn...
629
00:23:47,802 --> 00:23:50,038
Harley...Harlequin...
630
00:23:50,138 --> 00:23:52,373
Quinzel...The Crimson Clown.
631
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:54,976
Harley...
[laughter]
632
00:23:55,043 --> 00:23:57,178
That's it.
633
00:23:57,278 --> 00:23:58,480
I see it.
634
00:23:58,546 --> 00:24:01,382
It's been deep inside
the whole time.
635
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:05,220
It's me, but with bells on.
636
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,721
And just like that,
637
00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:09,491
the broken pieces
of Harleen Quinzel
638
00:24:09,557 --> 00:24:12,727
have detailed blueprints
for their reassembly
639
00:24:12,827 --> 00:24:14,729
into something new.
640
00:24:14,829 --> 00:24:16,130
Uh, lady?
641
00:24:16,197 --> 00:24:18,466
Call me Harley.
642
00:24:18,533 --> 00:24:20,335
And get your shoes on, kids.
643
00:24:20,401 --> 00:24:22,070
We're going to the museum.
644
00:24:22,170 --> 00:24:24,038
I suddenly got
a billion reasons
645
00:24:24,138 --> 00:24:27,141
to want to get a little culture
in my life.
646
00:24:27,208 --> 00:24:28,743
But first,
647
00:24:28,843 --> 00:24:31,513
peel all that red felt off
of that pool table I trashed,
648
00:24:31,579 --> 00:24:33,581
and find me
a needle and thread.
649
00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:37,919
I think I just had socko idea
for my new spring look.
650
00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:40,588
- And so we bid adieu
to Harleen Quinzel,
651
00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:42,390
who exits stage left
652
00:24:42,490 --> 00:24:44,926
but will return
for a deranged debut
653
00:24:45,026 --> 00:24:48,930
in a brand-new role later on
in this delirious pageant
654
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:52,367
known as life and death
in Gotham City.
655
00:24:52,433 --> 00:24:53,868
To be continued.
656
00:24:53,935 --> 00:24:56,037
[carnival music]
657
00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:02,944
"Batman the Audio Adventures,"
658
00:25:03,044 --> 00:25:05,947
written and directed
by Dennis McNicholas.
659
00:25:06,047 --> 00:25:09,417
Batman created by Bob Kane
with Bill Finger.
660
00:25:09,517 --> 00:25:11,686
Based on characters from DC.
661
00:25:11,753 --> 00:25:14,556
With performances
by Jeffrey Wright,
662
00:25:14,622 --> 00:25:17,592
Aristotle Athari,
Ike Barinholtz,
663
00:25:17,692 --> 00:25:20,628
Rosario Dawson, Steve Higgins,
664
00:25:20,728 --> 00:25:23,298
Toby Huss, Gillian Jacobs,
665
00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:26,034
John Leguizamo,
Dennis McNicholas.
666
00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:28,736
Tim Meadows, Seth Meyers,
667
00:25:28,803 --> 00:25:31,439
Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell,
668
00:25:31,539 --> 00:25:33,975
Katie Rich, Ben Rogers,
669
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:36,644
Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz,
670
00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:39,213
Brooke Shields, Brent Spiner,
671
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,616
Kenan Thompson, Alan Tudyk,
672
00:25:41,716 --> 00:25:45,153
Bradley Whitford,
Melissa Villaseñor,
673
00:25:45,253 --> 00:25:47,889
Eli Brueggemann, Doug Bossi,
674
00:25:47,956 --> 00:25:50,758
Ronjini Brown, Chris Gibney,
675
00:25:50,825 --> 00:25:53,294
Julie Larson, Erica Phillips,
676
00:25:53,394 --> 00:25:55,897
Rosie Phillips, Tony Phillips,
677
00:25:55,964 --> 00:25:58,333
Zoey Phillips, Deirdre Quinn,
678
00:25:58,433 --> 00:26:00,001
Robbie Wyckoff.
679
00:26:00,101 --> 00:26:04,105
Executive producers,
John Berg, Angela Petrella.
680
00:26:04,172 --> 00:26:06,507
Produced by Dennis McNicholas.
681
00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:08,776
Executives
in charge of production,
682
00:26:08,843 --> 00:26:11,512
Shaleen Desae, Peter Girardi.
683
00:26:11,613 --> 00:26:13,514
Producer, Tyler Dorson.
684
00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:16,084
Production services
by Cast Media.
685
00:26:16,150 --> 00:26:18,019
Producer, Colin Thompson.
686
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,755
Coordinating producer,
DJ Lubel.
687
00:26:20,822 --> 00:26:22,857
Music by Doug Bossi.
688
00:26:22,957 --> 00:26:25,159
Sound recording, design,
and mixing
689
00:26:25,259 --> 00:26:26,694
by Big Yellow Duck.
690
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:29,364
Sound design, mixing,
dialogue editing,
691
00:26:29,464 --> 00:26:32,000
and rerecording mixing
by Chris Gibney.
692
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:34,636
Dialogue editing and
additional post-production
693
00:26:34,702 --> 00:26:36,204
by Julie Larson.
694
00:26:36,304 --> 00:26:39,474
Original songs by Doug Bossi
and Tony Phillips.
695
00:26:39,540 --> 00:26:41,209
The characters and events
depicted
696
00:26:41,309 --> 00:26:43,044
in this podcast are fiction.
697
00:26:43,144 --> 00:26:45,480
Any similarity
to any actual person
698
00:26:45,546 --> 00:26:48,349
living or dead
or to any actual events,
699
00:26:48,449 --> 00:26:51,886
firms, places, and
institutions or other entities
700
00:26:51,986 --> 00:26:54,155
is coincidental
and unintentional.
701
00:26:54,222 --> 00:26:56,324
This podcast to protected
under the laws
702
00:26:56,391 --> 00:26:58,726
of the United States
and other countries,
703
00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:00,495
and its unauthorized
duplication,
704
00:27:00,561 --> 00:27:02,330
distribution, or exhibition
705
00:27:02,397 --> 00:27:05,833
my result in civil liability
and criminal prosecution.
706
00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:08,903
Country of first publication,
United States of America.
707
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:12,507
"Batman the Audio Adventures,"
copyright 2022
708
00:27:12,573 --> 00:27:14,575
Warner Bros.
Entertainment Inc.
709
00:27:14,676 --> 00:27:17,211
Batman and all related
characters and elements
710
00:27:17,311 --> 00:27:19,747
are trademark and copyright
DC.
711
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,382
All rights reserved.
712
00:27:21,482 --> 00:27:24,385
[jazz music]
713
00:27:24,485 --> 00:27:25,987
♪ ♪