1 00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:04,881 narrator: "Batman: The Audio Adventures." 2 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:10,686 [computer humming] 3 00:00:13,289 --> 00:00:17,193 - [distorted voice] ♪ Beautiful dreamer ♪ 4 00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:19,796 ♪ Wake up to me ♪ 5 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:24,233 ♪ Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee ♪ 6 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:26,235 [heart rate monitor beeps] 7 00:00:26,302 --> 00:00:28,938 [groaning] 8 00:00:29,038 --> 00:00:33,242 - Hey, hey, hey. Hey, wake up. 9 00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:34,477 Skids. 10 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,312 Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey, Skids. 11 00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:38,047 Can you smell the bacon? 12 00:00:38,114 --> 00:00:39,148 I smell bacon. 13 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:40,483 - Wha-- - [snorts] 14 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,985 - [chuckles] - Where--where--what-- 15 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,654 - Come on, Skids. Up and at 'em. 16 00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:48,558 - You're late. - I'm-I'm what? Where-- 17 00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:49,759 Don't you remember? 18 00:00:49,826 --> 00:00:51,427 You were supposed to rat me out. 19 00:00:51,494 --> 00:00:54,097 Tell your boss, Commissioner Gordon, 20 00:00:54,163 --> 00:00:56,632 you know who the Scarecrow is. 21 00:00:56,732 --> 00:00:59,836 But oopsie-daisy, here we are instead. 22 00:00:59,936 --> 00:01:02,071 - [groggily] Oh, no, no, I-- 23 00:01:02,138 --> 00:01:05,007 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's bad. 24 00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,776 [inhales] It's bad. 25 00:01:06,843 --> 00:01:10,580 Uh, the last guy who tried to rat me out, 26 00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:13,516 I ratted him out, Skids. 27 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:16,853 But I-I used real rats. 28 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:21,090 - My-my head, it hurts. I can't think straight. 29 00:01:21,157 --> 00:01:22,859 - Yeah, that's because right when you were 30 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,862 least expecting it, I-I hit you as hard as I could 31 00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:28,364 in the back of the skull with an old rotary phone. 32 00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:30,032 [phone clangs] Repeatedly. 33 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,601 [phone crashing, clanging] 34 00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:34,003 More than sufficient to render you unconscious. 35 00:01:34,103 --> 00:01:35,304 [inhales deeply] 36 00:01:35,371 --> 00:01:38,374 It was an emotional response, Skids. 37 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,276 And I'm not proud of it. 38 00:01:40,343 --> 00:01:43,613 And, uh, now I got a broken telephone 39 00:01:43,679 --> 00:01:45,781 and a lot of shame. 40 00:01:45,848 --> 00:01:50,286 But dad-gummit, I was angry and I was hurt 41 00:01:50,353 --> 00:01:54,390 because you are not who you said you were, Skids. 42 00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:58,694 You're not Tony "Skids" Rossetti at all, 43 00:01:58,794 --> 00:02:00,062 are you? 44 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:04,167 That's a costume, isn't it? A second skin. 45 00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:08,671 What happens when we peel the skin, Skids? 46 00:02:09,472 --> 00:02:11,073 Who do we find underneath? 47 00:02:12,875 --> 00:02:15,411 GCPD, Skids. 48 00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:19,715 Well, boogedy-boogedy-boo. We got a spook. 49 00:02:19,815 --> 00:02:22,084 - What's-what's around my neck? 50 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,554 - I call it a kill collar. Is it too tight? 51 00:02:24,654 --> 00:02:25,988 I hope not. 52 00:02:26,055 --> 00:02:27,924 It's not supposed to kill you by strangulation. 53 00:02:28,024 --> 00:02:31,260 See, the kill collar is wired to your heart rate. 54 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,729 And the kill collar only goes ka-pop 55 00:02:33,829 --> 00:02:35,097 if you panic. 56 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:39,035 You stay calm, you stay happily capitated. 57 00:02:39,101 --> 00:02:42,672 But you blow your cool, you give in to fear... 58 00:02:42,738 --> 00:02:44,407 [pops lips] 59 00:02:44,507 --> 00:02:47,009 Your meatball rolls off the spaghetti. 60 00:02:47,076 --> 00:02:51,080 - So what, you gonna drug me up with your poison? 61 00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:53,849 - Oh, come on now. That wouldn't be sporting. 62 00:02:53,916 --> 00:02:55,551 You have genuine courage. 63 00:02:55,618 --> 00:02:57,720 I'm not gonna rob you of that. 64 00:02:57,787 --> 00:03:01,123 Real steel spine infiltrating my gang like this. 65 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,926 I respect courage. 66 00:03:04,026 --> 00:03:07,463 But I still think I can scare you. 67 00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:10,967 Because fear was here first. 68 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:15,705 Fear comes gushing out of the womb with us. 69 00:03:15,771 --> 00:03:17,974 We don't have to learn fear. 70 00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:20,476 Like that delicious panic that comes 71 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:23,646 from the barrel of a loaded gun pointed right at your face. 72 00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:26,482 Nobody taught you that. That's wisdom. 73 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:30,453 Or a big knife in the hand of a maniac-- 74 00:03:30,553 --> 00:03:31,954 would you like to see my knife? 75 00:03:32,054 --> 00:03:33,222 [knife scraping on wood] 76 00:03:33,289 --> 00:03:36,125 Switchblade, witch blade, boogedy-boo! 77 00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:40,296 No? Not scared? 78 00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:42,965 Still cool as a cucumber? Okay. 79 00:03:43,065 --> 00:03:45,434 Sure, it's not all that scary if I wave it around 80 00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:48,004 way over here, but, isn't this funny, 81 00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:52,341 the closer I wave it to your soft parts... 82 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:56,946 if I put the point anywhere near your eyeball... 83 00:03:57,013 --> 00:04:00,483 [monitor beeping quickens] And then if I, you know, 84 00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:01,784 - lunge... - [yelps] 85 00:04:01,851 --> 00:04:03,686 - At you a little-- careful, Skids, 86 00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,521 your kill collar'll go pop. 87 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:07,423 [beeping quickens] You see? 88 00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:10,593 Even a brave cop like you has all kinds of fears 89 00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:12,928 he can't do anything about. 90 00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:16,098 It's not courage that sets limits on fear. 91 00:04:16,165 --> 00:04:18,868 Fear sets limits on courage. 92 00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:21,671 - I'm not afraid to die, you f-freak. 93 00:04:21,771 --> 00:04:25,608 - [chuckles] Aww. What a childish lie. 94 00:04:25,675 --> 00:04:27,810 That has never been true, whoever said it, 95 00:04:27,877 --> 00:04:30,713 never once in the history of human civilization. 96 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,381 Here, I propose a wager. 97 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:35,685 If you win-- uh, well, let's just say 98 00:04:35,785 --> 00:04:37,286 you want to try to win. 99 00:04:37,353 --> 00:04:40,790 Here, put your palm down flat on the table here. 100 00:04:40,856 --> 00:04:42,525 Like that, yeah. Slap wood there, 101 00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:44,694 you lily-livered varmint. Come on, come on. 102 00:04:44,794 --> 00:04:46,729 Just put your hand on it. There you go. 103 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,398 Now, spread your fingers out real wide. 104 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,233 [grunts] [knife thumps] 105 00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:52,735 - Hey! - Aww, come on, 106 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,236 that's a million miles away from your fingers. 107 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:56,238 But it scared you pretty good, didn't it? 108 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,673 You tried to stay calm, 109 00:04:57,740 --> 00:05:00,076 but you had nothing to say about it. 110 00:05:00,176 --> 00:05:02,244 See, you want to spread those fingers out. 111 00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:03,479 [repeated thumping] 112 00:05:03,546 --> 00:05:04,914 - [yells] - Oh, that's a lot closer. 113 00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,315 [beeping quickens] I'll be honest, 114 00:05:06,382 --> 00:05:08,017 I can't see too well in this mask. 115 00:05:08,084 --> 00:05:10,586 But you trust me, don't you? [chuckles] 116 00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:13,723 Let me try again. I used to be real good at this. 117 00:05:13,823 --> 00:05:15,024 Long time ago. 118 00:05:15,091 --> 00:05:16,826 Haven't had a lot of practice lately, but-- 119 00:05:16,892 --> 00:05:18,227 you know this game. 120 00:05:18,327 --> 00:05:19,895 Uh, tough guys everywhere play it. 121 00:05:19,995 --> 00:05:23,032 Some people call it "Five Finger Fillet." 122 00:05:23,099 --> 00:05:24,400 I always called it... 123 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,035 [knife thumps] Stabberscotch! 124 00:05:26,102 --> 00:05:27,937 Because you hop, hop, hop between the fingers, right? 125 00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:29,405 [beeping quickens] Rules are simple. 126 00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:30,773 Fast as you can between all the fingers 127 00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,007 without an accident. 128 00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:33,542 [thumping continues] [chuckles] 129 00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:35,277 See, now you're getting a little nervous. 130 00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,747 Why is that? Let's apply a little logic. 131 00:05:37,847 --> 00:05:41,117 Stabbed finger isn't gonna kill you, is it, Skids? 132 00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:43,786 But if you don't stay calm, you lose your meatball. 133 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,955 Remember? It should be easy to-- 134 00:05:46,055 --> 00:05:48,457 - Keep it together. Keep it together. 135 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:49,792 Talk yourself through it 136 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:52,795 as if you can reason with instinct. 137 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:56,031 Now, going between each finger in order is easy. 138 00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:57,967 But how about a different pattern? 139 00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:01,570 Say, one, two, one, three, one, four, one, five. 140 00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:03,873 Ooh! [chuckles] Ooh, that's- 141 00:06:03,939 --> 00:06:05,908 - that's much harder. - J-just relax. 142 00:06:05,975 --> 00:06:07,443 Just relax. 143 00:06:07,543 --> 00:06:09,545 - Keep your eyes open, Skids. Watch what I can do! 144 00:06:09,612 --> 00:06:11,647 Two, six, three, six, four, six, three, six, 145 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:15,384 - two, six--whoo! - Stay-stay calm! 146 00:06:15,451 --> 00:06:18,654 - Stay calm! - Oh, Skids, Skids, 147 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:21,490 now you're getting scared and I can taste it. 148 00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:24,427 [beeping quickens] Mmm. I can taste your fear. 149 00:06:24,493 --> 00:06:26,262 It's like a big spaghetti dinner 150 00:06:26,328 --> 00:06:28,731 just like great-granny used to make. 151 00:06:28,798 --> 00:06:30,399 - [knife thumping] - [yelping] 152 00:06:30,466 --> 00:06:33,803 [grunting] Oh, the bravery. 153 00:06:33,903 --> 00:06:36,472 Skids, it makes it all the more savory. 154 00:06:36,572 --> 00:06:38,808 [giggles] 155 00:06:38,908 --> 00:06:41,677 [knife thumping] ♪ On top of Rossetti ♪ 156 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:44,079 ♪ He fooled me before ♪ 157 00:06:44,146 --> 00:06:47,149 - [yelping] - ♪ Now he wears a collar ♪ 158 00:06:47,249 --> 00:06:50,319 ♪ That's packed with C-- ♪ [explosion pops] 159 00:06:52,488 --> 00:06:54,423 narrator: Gotham, the final notes 160 00:06:54,490 --> 00:06:56,792 of an unfinished symphony. 161 00:06:56,859 --> 00:06:58,527 Join us now for another tale 162 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,163 of life and death in Gotham City. 163 00:07:01,263 --> 00:07:05,634 March 2nd. Fugue and upheaval citywide. 164 00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:08,037 Penguin and Two-Face make the final moves 165 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,673 to consolidate absolute power. 166 00:07:10,773 --> 00:07:13,275 And as the city convulses with crime, 167 00:07:13,342 --> 00:07:16,312 the Scarecrow reaps a harvest of panic, 168 00:07:16,378 --> 00:07:18,180 peddling psychedelic nightmares 169 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,382 under every broken streetlight. 170 00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,985 It's a tuneless concerto of pandemonium. 171 00:07:23,052 --> 00:07:24,487 And worse still, 172 00:07:24,553 --> 00:07:26,555 Catwoman is more than happy to pounce 173 00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,691 on whoever is caught without a chair 174 00:07:28,791 --> 00:07:30,226 when the music stops. 175 00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,728 Batman and Robin can't waste a moment's time 176 00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,997 if they hope to stabilize the situation 177 00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:38,501 roiling Gotham's brutal ganglands. 178 00:07:38,567 --> 00:07:39,969 Hurry, hurry, hurry. 179 00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:42,037 Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, 180 00:07:42,137 --> 00:07:44,073 boys and girls, to the big top 181 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:47,176 of Haly's Harbor Circus and Sideshow. 182 00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:50,179 Once a respected name in wholesome entertainment, 183 00:07:50,246 --> 00:07:52,715 now a thoroughly mobbed-up front operation 184 00:07:52,815 --> 00:07:55,985 for innumerable low-rent criminal enterprises. 185 00:07:56,051 --> 00:07:57,686 You won't find much of an audience 186 00:07:57,753 --> 00:08:00,222 during the day for their ill-mannered clowns 187 00:08:00,322 --> 00:08:01,991 and inebriated acrobats, 188 00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:04,026 but the darkest hours of the night 189 00:08:04,093 --> 00:08:05,361 are a different story. 190 00:08:05,427 --> 00:08:07,429 - Next up to the auction block tonight, 191 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:10,366 ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention 192 00:08:10,432 --> 00:08:13,602 to my lovely assistant, as if I have to ask. 193 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,937 Oh, Fifi! 194 00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:17,273 - Oui, oui, monsieur. - Ooh-la-la. 195 00:08:17,373 --> 00:08:19,241 Wheel that next cage on out here, 196 00:08:19,341 --> 00:08:20,743 would you, mademoiselle, 197 00:08:20,843 --> 00:08:22,845 so we can take a look at this magnificent 198 00:08:22,912 --> 00:08:26,248 800-pound silverback gorilla. 199 00:08:26,348 --> 00:08:27,850 [audience gasps] [gorilla pants, hoots] 200 00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:29,518 narrator: Tonight the house is packed 201 00:08:29,585 --> 00:08:31,720 with a different kind of paying customer. 202 00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:33,422 A menagerie of colorful criminals 203 00:08:33,522 --> 00:08:36,225 that rivals the actual menagerie on offer 204 00:08:36,292 --> 00:08:37,626 for illegal purchase. 205 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,795 - Ladies and gentlemen of the underworld, 206 00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:44,567 this extraordinary brute stands a full 7 feet tall. 207 00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:47,703 He has been trained in the use of American Sign Language 208 00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:49,972 and small firearms. 209 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,807 He can roll his own cigars. 210 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:54,643 And he answers to the name Knuckles. 211 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:56,145 [gorilla grunting] 212 00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:59,048 Now, everyone knows the right exotic pet can be 213 00:08:59,114 --> 00:09:02,318 the lynchpin to a memorable criminal identity. 214 00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:05,387 And whether you're fleshing out a safari-themed gang 215 00:09:05,454 --> 00:09:07,990 or just looking to add a little surreal flare 216 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,825 to your illicit escapades, 217 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,161 Knuckles the Pistol-Slinging Gorilla 218 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:15,297 is the last word in making your gimmick pop. 219 00:09:15,397 --> 00:09:17,733 So shall I start the bidding at 100,000? 220 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,335 [gavel bangs, bell rings] 221 00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:20,836 narrator: As the frenzied bidding commences, 222 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,838 all eyes are on the auctioneer. 223 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,574 All save one young pair watching keenly 224 00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:27,776 from the shadows of the trapeze rigging 225 00:09:27,843 --> 00:09:29,979 - high above. - Robin to Batcave. 226 00:09:30,079 --> 00:09:31,847 I'm in position with eyes on what has to be 227 00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:34,483 every C-list racketeer and dope lord in town. 228 00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:36,518 Even the lovely assistant looks like she's scheming 229 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,020 - to loot the joint. - There are enough 230 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,788 outstanding warrants under that tent 231 00:09:39,855 --> 00:09:41,991 to fill a new wing of Blackgate, Robin. 232 00:09:42,091 --> 00:09:44,360 But we're only interested in one of them tonight. 233 00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:45,861 Androcles Thorne. 234 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,364 - Androcles Thorne. Scanning the crowd. 235 00:09:48,464 --> 00:09:50,032 [scanner chimes] Target acquired. 236 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:51,800 - His father, Rupert Thorne, is the last 237 00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:54,336 of the old-school Gotham crime capos, 238 00:09:54,436 --> 00:09:56,672 and he's cashing out, retiring. 239 00:09:56,772 --> 00:09:58,874 - So hotshot Androcles wants to finally take over 240 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,376 the family business. 241 00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:02,878 - He has big ideas, but he's rash, 242 00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,014 careless, inexperienced. 243 00:10:05,114 --> 00:10:07,483 If we take Thorne's operation out of the mix, 244 00:10:07,549 --> 00:10:10,119 we may have a chance to stabilize the underworld. 245 00:10:10,185 --> 00:10:12,154 - And Knuckles the gorilla is sold... 246 00:10:12,221 --> 00:10:15,157 [gavel bangs] To Maximillian Monkeyshines. 247 00:10:15,224 --> 00:10:16,625 Congratulations, Max. 248 00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:18,527 Please pass the financial particulars 249 00:10:18,627 --> 00:10:20,696 in an envelope to our lovely assistant 250 00:10:20,796 --> 00:10:21,897 for collection. 251 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:23,332 - Okay, he looks like a lightweight. 252 00:10:23,399 --> 00:10:25,467 - What's the play? - Pickpocketing 101. 253 00:10:25,534 --> 00:10:28,237 - Many more exciting items up for auction tonight. 254 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:31,140 We've got a dancing sea lion, some Komodo dragons, 255 00:10:31,206 --> 00:10:34,843 and one of those elephants that likes to paint pictures. 256 00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:38,013 [chuckles] But first, ladies and gentlemen, 257 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,883 behold the king of beasts! [lion roars] 258 00:10:40,983 --> 00:10:45,921 A magnificent fully-grown male African lion. 259 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,490 - That lion is what young Thorne is after. 260 00:10:48,557 --> 00:10:49,925 When he wins the auction, 261 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,326 you intercept the envelope 262 00:10:51,393 --> 00:10:53,195 with his bank account number inside. 263 00:10:53,262 --> 00:10:55,397 If we put the squeeze on his financials, 264 00:10:55,497 --> 00:10:57,599 - the rest is easy. - Sure, I'll swipe it 265 00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,935 from the assistant backstage without breaking a sweat. 266 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,603 But why are you so sure he's interested 267 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,105 in the lion, Batman? 268 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:05,441 They're running everything from hyenas to ostriches. 269 00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,176 Androcles Thorne, Robin. 270 00:11:07,242 --> 00:11:09,511 If he's trying to launch a flamboyant crime career, 271 00:11:09,578 --> 00:11:11,780 all he's missing is the lion. 272 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,849 Um... 273 00:11:13,916 --> 00:11:15,451 - According to myth it was Androcles 274 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:17,619 who pulled a thorn out of a lion's paw. 275 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,555 Oh, right. Sure. 276 00:11:19,621 --> 00:11:22,424 In "Aesop's Fables"? 277 00:11:22,524 --> 00:11:24,526 - Eventually attributed to Aesop, 278 00:11:24,593 --> 00:11:26,395 but originally from Apion, 279 00:11:26,462 --> 00:11:28,897 in his lost work "Aegyptiacorum." 280 00:11:28,964 --> 00:11:31,734 Someone is not keeping up with their assigned reading. 281 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,235 - Uh-oh. - Bat computer... 282 00:11:33,302 --> 00:11:35,204 [computer trills] Adjust the daily schedule 283 00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:37,239 to increase Robin's library time 284 00:11:37,306 --> 00:11:39,141 to three hours in the evenings. 285 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:40,642 Aww, man. 286 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:43,045 Why does Gotham gotta have such educated crooks? 287 00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:45,447 - Expect Androcles to get into a bidding war 288 00:11:45,547 --> 00:11:46,982 with Rat King Cole. 289 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:48,584 Cole intends to buy the lion 290 00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:51,220 for his daughter Georgina's eighth birthday. 291 00:11:51,286 --> 00:11:52,988 He's certain to outbid Thorne, 292 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,557 so you'll need to distract him at the crucial moment. 293 00:11:55,624 --> 00:11:56,959 - Not a problem. Tell Alf I'll be home 294 00:11:57,059 --> 00:11:58,427 - for dinner. - Excellent. 295 00:11:58,494 --> 00:12:00,162 I'll have him serve you in the library. 296 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,997 - Batman out. - [groans] 297 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,966 narrator: But the boy wonder has little time 298 00:12:04,066 --> 00:12:07,236 to rue his misfortune as the auction is heating up. 299 00:12:07,302 --> 00:12:09,471 - Very good. Do I hear 200? 200. 300 00:12:09,571 --> 00:12:12,007 A bid of 200 from Mr. Androcles Thorne. 301 00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,776 - Do I-- - 300. 302 00:12:13,842 --> 00:12:17,813 - Well, 300 is the bid from His Majesty Rat King Cole. 303 00:12:17,913 --> 00:12:19,515 Okay. Better get to work. 304 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:22,751 narrator: Rat King Cole is not an easy man to reach. 305 00:12:22,818 --> 00:12:26,588 The only phone he answers is the burner in his vest pocket. 306 00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:27,856 I bid 400. 307 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,324 narrator: The number changes daily 308 00:12:29,424 --> 00:12:30,793 and is known to exactly three 309 00:12:30,859 --> 00:12:32,528 of his most trusted associates, 310 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,030 all of whom are sitting in the big top bleachers 311 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,131 beside him. 312 00:12:36,198 --> 00:12:37,266 [phone ringing] 313 00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:40,335 So who could that possibly be? 314 00:12:40,435 --> 00:12:42,204 - What the--hello? 315 00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:43,972 - Yeah, hi, is this Rat King Cole? 316 00:12:44,039 --> 00:12:45,374 Who the hell is this? 317 00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:47,042 - King Cole, you jolly old soul, 318 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,477 how are you? 319 00:12:48,544 --> 00:12:50,112 This is Blabbo the Birthday Clown. 320 00:12:50,179 --> 00:12:52,047 You might have seen me on TV. 321 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,515 - What? - Listen, I hear 322 00:12:53,615 --> 00:12:55,050 little Georgina's turning eight. 323 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,885 Is that right? Boy, they shoot up 324 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,220 like weeds, don't they? 325 00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,488 How'd you get this number? 326 00:12:59,555 --> 00:13:00,989 Look, can I level with you? 327 00:13:01,056 --> 00:13:03,225 Business is bad, straight up bad, 328 00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,360 and I'm always trying to scare up a little action 329 00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:06,962 where I can. 330 00:13:07,029 --> 00:13:09,198 So do you mind if I ask you, how are you fixed 331 00:13:09,298 --> 00:13:11,400 for birthday entertainment at the present time? 332 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,835 - And the lion is... [bangs gavel] 333 00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:14,970 Sold to Androcles Thorne. 334 00:13:15,037 --> 00:13:16,071 - [lion roars] - What? Wait-- 335 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,673 Congratulations, Mr. Thorne. 336 00:13:17,739 --> 00:13:19,842 Please pass your personal banking envelope 337 00:13:19,908 --> 00:13:21,043 to our lovely assistant. 338 00:13:21,143 --> 00:13:22,211 Hey, what's the big idea? 339 00:13:22,311 --> 00:13:23,846 You sound busy. I better go. 340 00:13:23,912 --> 00:13:25,581 Think it over, though. The name is Blabbo. 341 00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:27,249 - [line beeps] - What the hell just happened? 342 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,918 - And better luck next time to Rat King Cole. 343 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,588 That's why we ask you to silence all cell phones. 344 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:35,157 Next on the auction block-- uh-oh, folks, 345 00:13:35,224 --> 00:13:38,827 it's Olive the Oil-Painting Elephant. 346 00:13:38,894 --> 00:13:40,229 - [elephant trumpets] - If I find 347 00:13:40,329 --> 00:13:41,763 that birthday clown, he's gonna wish 348 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,532 he was never born. 349 00:13:43,599 --> 00:13:46,602 narrator: As the verminous vice-lord vibrates with rage, 350 00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:49,771 the boy wonder trains his eyes on his next target. 351 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,573 Oh, merci, Monsieur Thorne. 352 00:13:51,673 --> 00:13:53,842 narrator: The assistant collects the payment envelope 353 00:13:53,909 --> 00:13:56,211 from a jubilant Androcles Thorne 354 00:13:56,278 --> 00:13:58,513 and heads off to deposit it backstage. 355 00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:00,115 - Now for some pickpocketing 101. 356 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,783 Hiyah! narrator: Nimbly negotiating 357 00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,185 the aerial rigging, 358 00:14:03,252 --> 00:14:05,354 the former circus boy is easily able 359 00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:07,890 to follow the assistant unseen. 360 00:14:07,956 --> 00:14:09,791 As she couriers the precious envelope 361 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,360 to a secure area... 362 00:14:11,426 --> 00:14:13,762 - ♪ Alouette, gentille alouette ♪ 363 00:14:13,862 --> 00:14:15,264 narrator: Creeping up behind her 364 00:14:15,364 --> 00:14:17,199 with an almost numinous silence, 365 00:14:17,266 --> 00:14:19,468 Robin reaches out and swiftly takes-- 366 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,436 - Hiyah! - [grunts] What the-- 367 00:14:21,536 --> 00:14:23,105 narrator: A sharp elbow to the chin? 368 00:14:23,205 --> 00:14:25,474 - Uh-uh-uh, Boy Wonder. 369 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,643 You don't get to collect the kitty 370 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,311 if you didn't ante up. 371 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,046 [thumping] 372 00:14:31,113 --> 00:14:34,216 - Ow. What--aww, no. Catwoman? 373 00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:35,884 - [chuckles] narrator: Indeed. 374 00:14:35,951 --> 00:14:37,819 Robin's first impressions were on the mark. 375 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,323 The lovely assistant was planning to rob the joint. 376 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,392 And discarding her extravagant wig 377 00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:46,161 as she stuffs a thick stack of bank envelopes 378 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:47,629 into her getaway bag, 379 00:14:47,729 --> 00:14:50,399 it seems as if she already has. 380 00:14:50,465 --> 00:14:52,834 - Stay down, kid. - Seriously? 381 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,269 Fifi the French girl? 382 00:14:54,336 --> 00:14:55,671 Yeah, I'm not subtle. 383 00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:57,806 Now, focus up. I didn't hit you that hard. 384 00:14:57,906 --> 00:14:59,408 I'm turning all the animals loose, 385 00:14:59,474 --> 00:15:01,643 then the lion and the loot are coming home with me. 386 00:15:01,743 --> 00:15:02,911 Do the smart thing 387 00:15:02,978 --> 00:15:05,113 and fly on home yourself, little bird. 388 00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:07,849 No reason to risk losing any of those baby teeth 389 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,618 - over this. - Are you kidding? 390 00:15:09,685 --> 00:15:12,020 This isn't just another one of your heists, Catwoman. 391 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,989 The financial information you're carrying 392 00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:15,824 could ruin half the Gotham underworld. 393 00:15:15,924 --> 00:15:18,460 - Sounds like I get paid and the good guys win. 394 00:15:18,527 --> 00:15:21,630 - No, it sounds like a bunch of small-timers 395 00:15:21,697 --> 00:15:24,032 who are already feeling the squeeze go bust 396 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,668 right as Two-Face and Penguin are turning up the heat. 397 00:15:26,768 --> 00:15:28,770 - So what? So the small-timers 398 00:15:28,837 --> 00:15:30,105 eat each other alive. 399 00:15:30,172 --> 00:15:32,174 - And how many innocent citizens are 400 00:15:32,274 --> 00:15:33,842 collateral damage? 401 00:15:33,942 --> 00:15:35,177 Mm, sorry, kid. 402 00:15:35,277 --> 00:15:36,812 I didn't buy this pitch from the Bat, 403 00:15:36,878 --> 00:15:38,180 so I'm definitely not interested 404 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,381 in the travel-size version. 405 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,049 - I'm not letting you get away. 406 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,618 - Mm, then you're going to watch the circus burn down. 407 00:15:43,685 --> 00:15:46,054 - Uh-uh, you're not starting any fires tonight. 408 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,556 Hmm. Okay. 409 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:48,857 - Make a move and-- 410 00:15:48,957 --> 00:15:50,459 Oh, baby bird, 411 00:15:50,525 --> 00:15:51,994 the move's been made. 412 00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:53,729 - [crowd screaming] - Holy stampede! 413 00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:57,833 - Yeah, Fifi gave Knuckles the Gorilla a flamethrower. 414 00:15:57,899 --> 00:16:01,536 - Oh, sweet mother Mavis, the gorilla has a flamethrower! 415 00:16:01,636 --> 00:16:03,672 [flames whoosh] [distant screaming] 416 00:16:03,739 --> 00:16:05,507 - Tell Batman I'm fighting this war 417 00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:07,542 on my terms from now on. 418 00:16:07,642 --> 00:16:11,246 I don't run it by him first and I don't ask permission. 419 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,582 If he wants to avoid collateral damage, 420 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:16,551 he'll keep his face clear of my boots. 421 00:16:16,651 --> 00:16:19,388 narrator: As she disappears into the smoke and chaos... 422 00:16:19,488 --> 00:16:20,922 - Robin to Batcave. - Batman here. 423 00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,357 Did you get the envelope? 424 00:16:22,424 --> 00:16:24,926 - Uh, good news and bad news on that front. 425 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,429 The circus is on fire and Catwoman is getting away 426 00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:28,930 with a fortune in mob money. 427 00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,099 - Catwoman? What's the good news? 428 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,667 - No time for extra library tonight. 429 00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:34,236 Gotta go. Robin out. 430 00:16:34,336 --> 00:16:36,838 narrator: The Catwoman refuses to be tamed. 431 00:16:36,905 --> 00:16:40,108 For the city is a jungle, and the jungle needs a queen, 432 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:44,913 a truth that undergirds life and death in Gotham City. 433 00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:48,950 - Are you looking for fun? [xylophone chimes] 434 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:52,020 - Are you looking for the life of the party? 435 00:16:52,087 --> 00:16:55,257 - Are you looking for Blabbo the Birthday Clown? 436 00:16:55,357 --> 00:16:56,858 Well, he's easy to find. 437 00:16:56,925 --> 00:16:58,960 - See his listing in the Gotham yellow pages 438 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,529 for his exact business address, 439 00:17:00,595 --> 00:17:03,065 which is also his place of residence. 440 00:17:03,131 --> 00:17:04,733 He's waiting by the phone. 441 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,635 So if you're looking for a Blabbo, 442 00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:09,137 there's no way you won't find him. 443 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,440 - ♪ Blabbo the Birthday Clown ♪ 444 00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:15,077 ♪ He is sitting home right now ♪ 445 00:17:15,143 --> 00:17:16,812 ♪ If you're in the neighborhood ♪ 446 00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:18,480 ♪ You can stop on by ♪ 447 00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:22,050 ♪ He doesn't lock his door ♪ 448 00:17:22,117 --> 00:17:23,952 - Blabbo the Birth-- [beep] 449 00:17:24,052 --> 00:17:26,421 - We interrupt this broadcast for a breaking news bulletin 450 00:17:26,488 --> 00:17:27,789 from Gotham City One. 451 00:17:27,889 --> 00:17:30,058 [upbeat music] 452 00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:32,961 ♪ Gotham City One ♪ 453 00:17:33,061 --> 00:17:34,629 - Good evening. This is Jack Ryder. 454 00:17:34,729 --> 00:17:36,431 I have just arrived on the scene of a report 455 00:17:36,498 --> 00:17:38,467 that there is an army of escaped circus animals 456 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,335 rampaging through downtown. 457 00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,604 Their leader is said to be-- what does that say, Mickey? 458 00:17:42,671 --> 00:17:44,673 A gorilla with a flamethrower? That can't be right. 459 00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:46,608 [gorilla hoots] Oh, okay. Nope. 460 00:17:46,675 --> 00:17:48,677 That is what I'm looking at. Apologies, Mickey. 461 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,245 All right, you know what, though? 462 00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:51,413 Let's stand back a minute here, Mickey. 463 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,848 You got the shot. 464 00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:54,149 You really want to die on this hill? 465 00:17:54,249 --> 00:17:56,184 For what, a local news award? 466 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,954 The city is advising owners of downtown businesses 467 00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:00,755 to board up their windows if at all possible. 468 00:18:00,822 --> 00:18:02,424 Robin the Boy Wonder is on the scene 469 00:18:02,491 --> 00:18:03,859 and is doing a miraculous job 470 00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,594 of herding the beasts to safety. 471 00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:07,529 But many animals have broken into storefronts, 472 00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:09,931 and they're causing considerable property damage. 473 00:18:09,998 --> 00:18:11,366 I'm told there's literally 474 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,368 a bull in a china shop on Front Street. 475 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,203 That's obviously gonna be the headline, 476 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,038 but we've also spotted an ostrich 477 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,640 in a ceiling fan store 478 00:18:18,707 --> 00:18:20,475 and a giant Pacific octopus 479 00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:21,943 in an adult novelty shop, 480 00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:23,545 so maybe put the little ones to bed 481 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:24,846 if you're gonna stay with our coverage. 482 00:18:24,946 --> 00:18:26,381 Neither of those situations 483 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,783 is gonna get more family-friendly. 484 00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:30,352 We're with this story as it develops 485 00:18:30,452 --> 00:18:32,154 on Gotham City One. 486 00:18:32,220 --> 00:18:34,823 ♪ ♪ 487 00:18:34,890 --> 00:18:37,993 ♪ Gotham City One ♪ 488 00:18:38,059 --> 00:18:40,996 narrator: Gotham, portrait of an obscurity 489 00:18:41,062 --> 00:18:42,497 in onyx and jet. 490 00:18:42,564 --> 00:18:44,533 Join us now for another tale 491 00:18:44,633 --> 00:18:47,802 of life and death in Gotham City. 492 00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:50,972 A quiet night outside the towering Greek columns 493 00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:53,808 of the Gotham Museum of Fine Arts. 494 00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:55,243 "'The Harlequin' is here," 495 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:57,078 proclaims a black and red banner 496 00:18:57,179 --> 00:19:00,081 strung across the stately marble façade. 497 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:03,885 It refers to a priceless work of art on display inside 498 00:19:03,985 --> 00:19:06,755 but might just as accurately refer to the arrival 499 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,224 of a windowless van just pulling up 500 00:19:09,324 --> 00:19:11,326 to the museum's front steps. 501 00:19:11,393 --> 00:19:13,428 - Okay, you mugs. This is it. 502 00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,996 narrator: "Queen of Diamonds Painting 503 00:19:15,063 --> 00:19:16,565 and Wallpaper Services" 504 00:19:16,665 --> 00:19:18,867 is what the van says on the outside. 505 00:19:18,934 --> 00:19:20,268 But the crew inside has 506 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,437 a different job in mind for tonight. 507 00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:23,838 - Scare up the night watchman 508 00:19:23,905 --> 00:19:25,540 and I'll handle the rest. 509 00:19:25,607 --> 00:19:27,442 - Sure thing, Ms. Harley. - You got it, boss. 510 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,711 narrator: Hauling a load of stolen paint supplies 511 00:19:29,778 --> 00:19:31,246 to the service entrance, 512 00:19:31,346 --> 00:19:34,449 the two thugs make a bid for immediate attention. 513 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:36,451 [pounding on door] 514 00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,520 - I'm coming, for crying out loud. 515 00:19:38,587 --> 00:19:41,189 Hold your-- [door clicks open] 516 00:19:41,256 --> 00:19:42,591 The heck is all this? 517 00:19:42,691 --> 00:19:44,526 - They're paint cans and paintbrushes, pally. 518 00:19:44,593 --> 00:19:46,061 Where do you want us to put 'em? 519 00:19:46,127 --> 00:19:47,295 - What? - Yeah. 520 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:48,797 We're the painting crew, Mac. 521 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:50,265 - What? Nobody ordered a painting crew. 522 00:19:50,365 --> 00:19:51,633 - [bells jingle] - Oh, really? 523 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,101 That's too bad, Jackson. 524 00:19:53,201 --> 00:19:55,704 'Cause I'm here to paint the town red. 525 00:19:55,770 --> 00:19:57,639 narrator: Suddenly from the shadows, 526 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,140 an animate fever dream 527 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,977 arrayed in crimson felt and bells. 528 00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:04,879 Pinwheel eyes spin behind a black mask 529 00:20:04,946 --> 00:20:07,949 set upon a leering mug of alabaster. 530 00:20:08,049 --> 00:20:10,719 Harley Quinn has begun her criminal career. 531 00:20:10,785 --> 00:20:13,722 [chuckles] What an entrance. 532 00:20:13,788 --> 00:20:16,224 - Oh, brother, a new one. - Yeah, that's right. 533 00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:17,993 I'm the new act in town. 534 00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:20,595 Now, don't get cute or Rosso here will show you 535 00:20:20,662 --> 00:20:23,765 how he puts the pain in painting. 536 00:20:23,832 --> 00:20:27,135 - Who are you supposed to be, like, a mime? 537 00:20:27,235 --> 00:20:28,336 Mime? 538 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:30,338 What, I look like a mime to you? 539 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,073 - Yeah, I'm getting a mime vibe. 540 00:20:32,140 --> 00:20:35,844 - 'Cept I'm screamin' at ya, you ding-dong. 541 00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:37,679 Oh, boy, are you ign'ant. 542 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,014 - Look, I don't keep up with you kids 543 00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:40,582 and your crime gimmicks. 544 00:20:40,649 --> 00:20:42,250 Crime Mime makes as much sense to me as Calendar Man. 545 00:20:42,317 --> 00:20:45,287 - Okay, wise guy, that attitude ain't promotin' 546 00:20:45,353 --> 00:20:46,621 a healthy lifestyle. 547 00:20:46,688 --> 00:20:48,290 You better take your vitamins. 548 00:20:48,356 --> 00:20:49,691 - Huh? - Hold him down 549 00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,760 - and pinch his nose, boys. - What the-- 550 00:20:51,826 --> 00:20:53,361 narrator: With frightening strength, 551 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,530 Harley Quinn introduces the night watchman 552 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,866 to a fistful of mixed pharmaceuticals. 553 00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:00,702 - Oh, go on, ya baby, swallow 'em. 554 00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:03,605 - They're just psych meds. - [spitting] 555 00:21:03,672 --> 00:21:05,040 What kind of psych meds? 556 00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,175 - The kind that'll make you feel better. 557 00:21:07,275 --> 00:21:08,810 - Psych! - [gulps, thuds] 558 00:21:08,877 --> 00:21:11,313 - Now that'll knock him out for a while. 559 00:21:11,379 --> 00:21:12,814 - Yeah, but they'll come looking for him 560 00:21:12,881 --> 00:21:14,115 if he doesn't call in. 561 00:21:14,182 --> 00:21:16,217 - We gotta put some mustard on it. 562 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:18,053 narrator: Abandoning the paint supplies 563 00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:19,721 and coveralls at the door, 564 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:22,724 the newly-minted crime gang creeps its way swiftly 565 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:24,225 to the grand gallery. 566 00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:26,728 - Okay, you coconuts, the painting's in here. 567 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,530 Now, remember-- 568 00:21:28,630 --> 00:21:30,799 narrator: But the remainder of that sentence is forgotten 569 00:21:30,865 --> 00:21:32,901 as Harley Quinn first lays eyes 570 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:34,703 upon "The Harlequin." 571 00:21:34,803 --> 00:21:36,738 [choral music] 572 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:39,407 Oh, my jeepers. 573 00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:40,675 narrator: Her heart stops. 574 00:21:40,742 --> 00:21:42,143 It's a miracle. 575 00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:43,645 narrator: She was right to come here. 576 00:21:43,712 --> 00:21:45,914 She's never been more certain of anything 577 00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,082 in her entire life. 578 00:21:47,182 --> 00:21:48,683 It's meant to be. 579 00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:50,685 narrator: Because the face staring down at her 580 00:21:50,752 --> 00:21:52,587 from within the picture frame, 581 00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:54,923 it's the face Harley sees every morning 582 00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,925 staring back at her in the mirror. 583 00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,493 It's me! 584 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,596 It's the spittin' image of ol' Miss Harleen Quinzel. 585 00:22:01,696 --> 00:22:04,199 narrator: Her mind reels with the cosmic coincidence. 586 00:22:04,265 --> 00:22:06,267 Nero, can you believe this? 587 00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:08,870 Don't that look just like me? 588 00:22:08,937 --> 00:22:10,372 You mean the painting? 589 00:22:10,438 --> 00:22:13,108 Rosso, is that not bizarre? 590 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,944 - I'm not sure what you're referring to, boss. 591 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:17,779 Are you not seeing this? 592 00:22:17,879 --> 00:22:20,014 This is the most noodle-bendin' freak-out 593 00:22:20,081 --> 00:22:22,016 I've ever experienced. 594 00:22:22,083 --> 00:22:25,420 What are the odds of an exact likeness? 595 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,455 - You know, boss, no offense, but-- 596 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:32,794 - That girl in the painting, she looks just like me! 597 00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:34,963 Girl? In the painting? 598 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,966 - Okay, that's definitely a painting of a man, boss. 599 00:22:38,066 --> 00:22:39,567 narrator: In fact, it is. 600 00:22:39,634 --> 00:22:41,936 More specifically, it's a painting of a man 601 00:22:42,036 --> 00:22:44,739 in his late 50s with a handlebar mustache 602 00:22:44,806 --> 00:22:47,542 and eyebrows that meet in the middle. 603 00:22:47,609 --> 00:22:50,044 But Harley Quinn has found her calling, 604 00:22:50,111 --> 00:22:51,980 and there's no turning back. 605 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:57,152 - Ooh, yes sirree, bobtail. A perfect likeness! 606 00:22:57,252 --> 00:23:00,555 - Okay, so how are we gonna get it out of here? 607 00:23:00,622 --> 00:23:02,157 - It's big. Gotta move it quick. 608 00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:04,159 - Backup security will be here any minute. 609 00:23:04,259 --> 00:23:06,294 Oh, relax, you screwballs. 610 00:23:06,394 --> 00:23:09,164 We're not here to steal the painting. 611 00:23:09,264 --> 00:23:10,298 What? 612 00:23:10,398 --> 00:23:11,766 - Steal a billion-dollar painting? 613 00:23:11,833 --> 00:23:13,768 What would be funny about that? 614 00:23:13,835 --> 00:23:16,571 - Oh, boy. - Uh, we trying to be 615 00:23:16,638 --> 00:23:18,473 - funny here, boss? - Doy! 616 00:23:18,573 --> 00:23:21,843 Yeesh, yeah, hello, I'm trying to win the heart 617 00:23:21,943 --> 00:23:24,512 of a comedy legend, remember? 618 00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:26,815 No, no. No robbery. 619 00:23:26,915 --> 00:23:29,651 We're just here to receive the next sign. 620 00:23:29,751 --> 00:23:31,286 What sign, boss? 621 00:23:31,352 --> 00:23:34,189 Another sign from Mr. J. 622 00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,990 He's led me this far. 623 00:23:36,090 --> 00:23:38,293 He's gotta have something else in mind for me. 624 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,428 - Oh, boy. - I got the gimmick, 625 00:23:40,495 --> 00:23:44,265 I got the outfit, but something is still missing. 626 00:23:44,332 --> 00:23:47,202 That bozo out front didn't even get my getup. 627 00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:49,270 - [alarm blares] - Boss, security is coming. 628 00:23:49,337 --> 00:23:52,340 - Ah, maybe the clue is hidden in the painting. 629 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,310 Like those kitty magazines at the dentist's office. 630 00:23:55,376 --> 00:23:57,512 - Uh, boss-- - Ooh, look! 631 00:23:57,612 --> 00:23:59,781 A push-button audio tour. 632 00:23:59,848 --> 00:24:01,649 - We can do this in the daytime, boss. 633 00:24:01,716 --> 00:24:03,485 Welcome to the Gotham Museum 634 00:24:03,551 --> 00:24:05,987 of Fine Arts exhibition of "The Harlequin." 635 00:24:06,054 --> 00:24:07,655 - [distant clamoring] - Hiya, toots. 636 00:24:07,722 --> 00:24:09,691 - Who is "The Harlequin"? - Ooh, good question. 637 00:24:09,791 --> 00:24:13,027 - A rowdy mixture of wit, ignorance, and grace 638 00:24:13,127 --> 00:24:14,329 in a checkered costume. 639 00:24:14,395 --> 00:24:16,297 - Ha! You got that right, sister. 640 00:24:16,364 --> 00:24:17,632 What else? Come on. 641 00:24:17,699 --> 00:24:18,833 - Boss, they're coming up the stairs. 642 00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:20,368 "The Harlequin," 643 00:24:20,468 --> 00:24:22,837 theater's most beloved star-crossed lover 644 00:24:22,904 --> 00:24:24,339 and magical fool. 645 00:24:24,405 --> 00:24:25,840 Magical fool. 646 00:24:25,907 --> 00:24:27,342 Oh, I love that. 647 00:24:27,408 --> 00:24:29,811 You're really telling my life story, Miss Priss. 648 00:24:29,878 --> 00:24:32,514 - The harlequin plays the most crucial role 649 00:24:32,580 --> 00:24:34,382 in the traditional pantomime show. 650 00:24:34,482 --> 00:24:36,351 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me the crucial part. 651 00:24:36,417 --> 00:24:38,353 - For Harlequin alone has the power 652 00:24:38,419 --> 00:24:41,356 to magically transform dreary melodrama 653 00:24:41,422 --> 00:24:43,057 into madcap comedy. 654 00:24:43,157 --> 00:24:44,592 - [pounding at door] - I do? How do I do that? 655 00:24:44,692 --> 00:24:46,261 - Boss... - The secret 656 00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:49,264 to the Harlequin's power is a magic bat or club 657 00:24:49,364 --> 00:24:50,865 called a slapstick. 658 00:24:50,932 --> 00:24:52,834 Magic bat! 659 00:24:52,901 --> 00:24:54,168 That's it! 660 00:24:54,235 --> 00:24:56,571 I need a killer slapstick routine. 661 00:24:56,671 --> 00:25:00,208 - Slapstick comedy may involve both intentional violence 662 00:25:00,275 --> 00:25:01,776 and violence by mishap. 663 00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:03,945 - Those are Mr. J's favorite kinds! 664 00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:05,713 - Boss, hurry up, please. [door rattling] 665 00:25:05,780 --> 00:25:08,783 - As the epic comedy of the harlequinade unfolds, 666 00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:11,352 amazing transformations happen on stage 667 00:25:11,419 --> 00:25:13,621 at the touch of Harlequin's magic bat. 668 00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:16,591 A fat policeman might become a living skeleton. 669 00:25:16,691 --> 00:25:19,961 Or a dog may turn into a pile of sausages. 670 00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:21,963 "Eureka," I says! 671 00:25:22,063 --> 00:25:24,065 narrator: Inspiration has arrived. 672 00:25:24,132 --> 00:25:26,067 Unfortunately, so has security. 673 00:25:26,134 --> 00:25:28,202 - [door crashes] - All right, nobody move. 674 00:25:28,269 --> 00:25:29,304 We have weapons drawn. 675 00:25:29,404 --> 00:25:31,439 Okay, I know this looks bad, 676 00:25:31,539 --> 00:25:33,775 but I think I can clear everything up. 677 00:25:33,875 --> 00:25:37,912 I just need a bat that makes a dog turn into sausages. 678 00:25:37,979 --> 00:25:39,981 - We're going back to Blackgate, Nero. 679 00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:42,617 - Ah, it looks like it, Rosso. - No sudden moves. 680 00:25:42,717 --> 00:25:43,818 We got you surrounded. 681 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:45,553 - Aww, youse two worry too much. 682 00:25:45,620 --> 00:25:47,088 We're gonna be fine. 683 00:25:47,155 --> 00:25:48,656 This whole scene is a classic setup. 684 00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:50,959 The punchline is gonna be killer. 685 00:25:51,059 --> 00:25:52,994 - Yeah? - What's the punchline, boss? 686 00:25:53,094 --> 00:25:54,162 I don't know yet. 687 00:25:54,262 --> 00:25:55,730 - Hmm. - All right, everybody, 688 00:25:55,797 --> 00:25:58,099 hands where I can see 'em. Police are on their way. 689 00:25:58,166 --> 00:26:00,101 narrator: As the security team closes in, 690 00:26:00,168 --> 00:26:01,502 it would seem that barring 691 00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:03,571 uniquely helpful comedic inspiration, 692 00:26:03,638 --> 00:26:06,341 the criminal career of Harley Quinn has ended 693 00:26:06,441 --> 00:26:07,842 before it even started. 694 00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:09,510 But just then, Harley sees 695 00:26:09,611 --> 00:26:11,446 salvation is rushing to meet her. 696 00:26:11,512 --> 00:26:14,782 - Wait, wait, I got it. I got the punchline. 697 00:26:14,849 --> 00:26:17,018 What's made of ivory and camel hair 698 00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:19,320 and weighs 13,000 pounds? [rumbling approaching] 699 00:26:19,420 --> 00:26:21,189 - What-- - What's made 700 00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:25,860 of ivory and camel hair and weighs 13,000 pounds? 701 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,462 - The heck are you talking abou--oh! 702 00:26:27,528 --> 00:26:29,097 [dog barks] Everyone, look out! 703 00:26:29,163 --> 00:26:30,698 [elephant trumpets] Out of the way! 704 00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:32,767 - An elephant with a paintbrush! 705 00:26:32,834 --> 00:26:34,202 [screaming] [elephant trumpets] 706 00:26:34,302 --> 00:26:35,937 narrator: Indeed, it would seem 707 00:26:36,004 --> 00:26:38,106 that not only have the escaped circus animals 708 00:26:38,172 --> 00:26:39,540 reached the museum, 709 00:26:39,641 --> 00:26:41,275 but Olive the Oil-Painting Elephant 710 00:26:41,342 --> 00:26:42,644 has helped herself 711 00:26:42,710 --> 00:26:44,779 to the abandoned painting supplies. 712 00:26:44,846 --> 00:26:47,048 Wow, look at her go! 713 00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:48,516 Rock on, sister. 714 00:26:48,616 --> 00:26:49,951 Sweet frozen Moses! 715 00:26:50,018 --> 00:26:52,053 Forget the crooks. Save the artwork. 716 00:26:52,153 --> 00:26:54,055 - Boss, how about we get out while the gettin' is good? 717 00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:55,556 - Heck yeah. What are you waiting for, 718 00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:57,625 you duds? Let's beat it. 719 00:26:57,692 --> 00:27:00,294 Mr. J needs me to find that magic bat 720 00:27:00,361 --> 00:27:02,063 and make some sausages. 721 00:27:02,163 --> 00:27:03,898 narrator: As Harley Quinn ambles headlong 722 00:27:03,998 --> 00:27:06,901 down the trail towards to her prefab fate, 723 00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:08,870 her prize seems within reach. 724 00:27:08,970 --> 00:27:12,173 Yet destiny may still scatter her breadcrumbs. 725 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,975 No matter how current your map, 726 00:27:14,042 --> 00:27:15,910 it's advised to ask for directions 727 00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:20,081 when navigating life and death in Gotham City. 728 00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:24,185 - Ladies and gentlemen, the Iceberg Lounge presents 729 00:27:24,252 --> 00:27:28,489 the incomparable, inconsolable Miss Violet Bump. 730 00:27:28,556 --> 00:27:30,591 [cheers and applause] [jazzy ballad playing] 731 00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:35,329 - ♪ Dancin' for dimes, there must be more to life ♪ 732 00:27:35,396 --> 00:27:38,232 ♪ Than dancin' for dimes ♪ 733 00:27:38,332 --> 00:27:40,568 ♪ I've wished a thousand times ♪ 734 00:27:40,668 --> 00:27:43,171 ♪ Romance could be mine ♪ 735 00:27:43,237 --> 00:27:45,773 ♪ A chance at cloud nine ♪ 736 00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:49,444 ♪ But time after time I find ♪ 737 00:27:49,544 --> 00:27:51,612 ♪ I'm... ♪ 738 00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:54,115 ♪ ♪ 739 00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:57,618 ♪ Just dancin' for dimes ♪ 740 00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:59,454 ♪ ♪ 741 00:27:59,554 --> 00:28:03,725 ♪ Dancin' for dimes ♪ [applause] 742 00:28:06,027 --> 00:28:08,930 narrator: Gotham, a company of marionettes 743 00:28:09,030 --> 00:28:11,099 twisting in the wind. 744 00:28:11,199 --> 00:28:13,034 Join us for another tale 745 00:28:13,101 --> 00:28:15,770 of life and death in Gotham City. 746 00:28:16,804 --> 00:28:18,773 The Iceberg Lounge. 747 00:28:18,873 --> 00:28:20,775 Headquarters of the newly unified 748 00:28:20,875 --> 00:28:23,878 - Penguin/ - Two-Face crime super-syndicate. 749 00:28:23,945 --> 00:28:25,580 Though their partnership is already paying 750 00:28:25,646 --> 00:28:27,982 handsome dividends to Oswald Cobblepot-- 751 00:28:28,082 --> 00:28:31,119 in the form of expert legal machinations-- 752 00:28:31,219 --> 00:28:33,087 Two-Face, meanwhile, is feeling 753 00:28:33,154 --> 00:28:34,989 no concomitant benefit. 754 00:28:35,089 --> 00:28:36,224 - [as Harvey] I don't want to do this. 755 00:28:36,290 --> 00:28:37,792 [chuckles, as the Other] Too bad. 756 00:28:37,892 --> 00:28:39,560 We flipped for it. You lost. 757 00:28:39,627 --> 00:28:42,163 narrator: Still suffering from a crippling disharmony 758 00:28:42,263 --> 00:28:43,664 between his two halves, 759 00:28:43,765 --> 00:28:45,833 he has spent the last several days 760 00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:48,469 barricaded inside a luxury hotel suite, 761 00:28:48,569 --> 00:28:51,572 piled to the rafters with obscure legal texts, 762 00:28:51,639 --> 00:28:54,008 unable to bear any company but his own. 763 00:28:54,108 --> 00:28:56,577 And he is running out of ways to cope 764 00:28:56,644 --> 00:28:59,947 with a world full of choices that refuse to be as simple 765 00:29:00,014 --> 00:29:01,649 as heads or tails. 766 00:29:01,749 --> 00:29:03,584 - [recording crackles] - Welcome, dance enthusiasts, 767 00:29:03,651 --> 00:29:06,487 to the "Learn to Dance at Home" series. 768 00:29:06,587 --> 00:29:09,023 So you've decided to learn to dance the Two-Step. 769 00:29:09,123 --> 00:29:10,358 - [as Harvey] Obviously. 770 00:29:10,458 --> 00:29:11,459 [as the Other] Yeah, get on with it. 771 00:29:11,526 --> 00:29:12,860 Let's boogie-woogie. 772 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,428 - With these easy-to-follow-along 773 00:29:14,495 --> 00:29:16,364 instructions, you'll be two-stepping 774 00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:17,765 in no time. 775 00:29:17,832 --> 00:29:20,868 It's as easy as counting to two. 776 00:29:20,968 --> 00:29:22,303 One, two. 777 00:29:22,370 --> 00:29:23,938 - That's what we wanted to hear. 778 00:29:24,005 --> 00:29:25,706 - Is your partner ready? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 779 00:29:25,807 --> 00:29:27,375 We're ready. Just get the show on the road. 780 00:29:27,475 --> 00:29:29,310 [as Harvey] Don't talk back to the record, please. 781 00:29:29,377 --> 00:29:30,545 [as the Other] Shut up. 782 00:29:30,645 --> 00:29:32,313 I can't help it if I got manners. 783 00:29:32,380 --> 00:29:35,783 - Gent, place your right hand on her left shoulder 784 00:29:35,850 --> 00:29:38,386 whilst your left arm is held out to the side, 785 00:29:38,486 --> 00:29:39,720 slightly bent. 786 00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:42,323 On the first beat, step forward 787 00:29:42,390 --> 00:29:44,058 as your partner steps back. 788 00:29:44,158 --> 00:29:46,327 - Like that? [as Harvey] No, you move back. 789 00:29:46,394 --> 00:29:48,296 [as the Other] I said I'm gonna lead. 790 00:29:48,362 --> 00:29:50,364 [scoffs, as Harvey] Are you even listening to the music? 791 00:29:50,464 --> 00:29:53,568 You realize it relates to our activities. 792 00:29:53,668 --> 00:29:55,570 - [as the Other] Yes. - On the second beat, 793 00:29:55,670 --> 00:29:58,239 glide each foot past the other-- 794 00:29:58,339 --> 00:30:00,208 quick, quick, slow, slow. 795 00:30:00,308 --> 00:30:01,909 - Your foot goes there, dummy. [glassware clatters] 796 00:30:02,009 --> 00:30:03,511 [as Harvey] Watch what you're doing-- 797 00:30:03,578 --> 00:30:04,745 - [as the Other] What did I do? - One, two. 798 00:30:04,846 --> 00:30:07,348 One, two. One. Two. 799 00:30:07,415 --> 00:30:11,185 One, two, one, two. One. Two. 800 00:30:11,252 --> 00:30:13,688 That's it. That's it. Now you're getting it. 801 00:30:13,754 --> 00:30:16,657 [record scratches, skips] One, two, one, two. 802 00:30:16,724 --> 00:30:18,392 - One, two. - You're not even trying. 803 00:30:18,492 --> 00:30:20,027 - I hate you. - One, two, one, two... 804 00:30:20,094 --> 00:30:21,529 - [laughs, as Harvey] You're a midge. 805 00:30:21,596 --> 00:30:23,197 A pestilential speck 806 00:30:23,264 --> 00:30:24,866 buzzing in my ear, you know that? 807 00:30:24,932 --> 00:30:26,601 - You are nothing to me. - One, two, one, two... 808 00:30:26,701 --> 00:30:29,103 - The quintessence of insignificance. 809 00:30:29,203 --> 00:30:30,538 [as the Other] I don't know what that means. 810 00:30:30,605 --> 00:30:32,406 [laughs, as Harvey] I know you don't. 811 00:30:32,506 --> 00:30:34,008 - Of course you don't'! - One, two, one, two... 812 00:30:34,075 --> 00:30:35,209 - narrator: Suddenly... - One, two... 813 00:30:35,276 --> 00:30:36,878 - [knock at door] - Huh? 814 00:30:36,944 --> 00:30:38,579 [as the Other] What was that? [record scratches] 815 00:30:38,679 --> 00:30:40,414 - Harvey? It's Oswald, old chum. 816 00:30:40,514 --> 00:30:41,849 Are you all right? 817 00:30:41,916 --> 00:30:43,784 What's going on in there? [mimics horn honking] 818 00:30:43,885 --> 00:30:45,620 [as Harvey] Go away, Oswald. 819 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:46,854 [as the Other] And tell them to knock off 820 00:30:46,921 --> 00:30:48,522 that ugly racket downstairs. 821 00:30:48,589 --> 00:30:49,924 [as Harvey] We're not doing any more 822 00:30:50,024 --> 00:30:51,459 pro bono legal work for you. 823 00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:54,362 - Aww, Harvey, that's not what this is about. 824 00:30:54,428 --> 00:30:56,931 - [as the Other] You sold us a bum steer, Cobblepot. 825 00:30:57,031 --> 00:30:58,566 [as Harvey ] What are we getting 826 00:30:58,633 --> 00:31:00,935 out of this little partnership anyway, Oswald? 827 00:31:01,035 --> 00:31:03,137 As near as we can tell, you have gotten 828 00:31:03,237 --> 00:31:06,807 about a half dozen certifiable legal miracles. 829 00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:09,277 [as the Other] You're practically police commissioner 830 00:31:09,377 --> 00:31:10,544 thanks to us, 831 00:31:10,611 --> 00:31:12,580 and we're over here scraping bupkes. 832 00:31:12,647 --> 00:31:16,884 - I told you, I'm going to help you get well, Harvey. 833 00:31:16,951 --> 00:31:19,754 The best medical attention money can buy. 834 00:31:19,820 --> 00:31:21,822 Isn't that what I said? 835 00:31:21,923 --> 00:31:24,158 This is well beyond the pale, Harvey. 836 00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:27,128 You can no longer function in society. 837 00:31:27,228 --> 00:31:28,729 [as Harvey] Go away. 838 00:31:28,796 --> 00:31:31,732 - But that's soon to be remedied, old egg. 839 00:31:31,799 --> 00:31:33,935 I have someone here who can help you. 840 00:31:34,001 --> 00:31:35,403 - [as the Other] We said hit the arches. 841 00:31:35,469 --> 00:31:37,405 [as Harvey] We're not opening the door. 842 00:31:37,471 --> 00:31:40,007 - He's a world-renowned psychiatrist, Harvey. 843 00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:42,009 I spared no expense. 844 00:31:42,109 --> 00:31:45,346 He was a protégé of the great professor 845 00:31:45,446 --> 00:31:48,182 Hugo Strange. 846 00:31:48,282 --> 00:31:50,184 The Hugo Strange? 847 00:31:50,284 --> 00:31:52,787 Formerly chair of psychiatry at Gotham University? 848 00:31:52,853 --> 00:31:54,956 Yes, Harvey, the very same. 849 00:31:55,022 --> 00:31:56,958 This is his prize pupil. 850 00:31:57,024 --> 00:31:59,927 You might say he's the second greatest 851 00:31:59,994 --> 00:32:01,696 psychiatrist in town. 852 00:32:01,796 --> 00:32:03,097 - [as the Other] Oh, second greatest. 853 00:32:03,164 --> 00:32:05,533 - The number two man. - That's it. 854 00:32:05,633 --> 00:32:07,702 He's quite a remarkable physician, 855 00:32:07,802 --> 00:32:09,837 and he's right here. 856 00:32:09,937 --> 00:32:12,707 - Won't you speak with him? - No. 857 00:32:12,807 --> 00:32:14,775 - [scoffs] Are you certain, Harvey? 858 00:32:14,842 --> 00:32:17,878 Why don't you ask the coin? 859 00:32:19,013 --> 00:32:20,381 Go ahead, Harvey. I'll wait. 860 00:32:20,481 --> 00:32:21,949 - [muttering, as Harvey] We could ask the coin. 861 00:32:22,016 --> 00:32:23,617 I could ask the coin if I want to. 862 00:32:23,684 --> 00:32:24,785 [coin pings] 863 00:32:24,852 --> 00:32:26,954 [as the Other] Oh, come on! 864 00:32:27,021 --> 00:32:29,490 [locks clicking] 865 00:32:29,557 --> 00:32:31,659 - There. Isn't that bet--yikes! 866 00:32:31,726 --> 00:32:33,361 I see we're not a moment too soon. 867 00:32:33,461 --> 00:32:34,829 - [as the Other] This is him? 868 00:32:34,895 --> 00:32:37,365 He's so skinny, he's only got one side. 869 00:32:37,465 --> 00:32:39,400 [as Harvey] You're taking cheap shots at his looks? 870 00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:40,901 That's rich. [as the Other] I'll give you 871 00:32:41,002 --> 00:32:42,703 some beauty tips, pretty boy. 872 00:32:42,803 --> 00:32:45,072 - Yes, clearly we don't have a moment to waste. 873 00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:46,574 Harvey Dent, I'd like you meet 874 00:32:46,674 --> 00:32:48,843 your new personal mental health professional. 875 00:32:48,909 --> 00:32:51,545 His name is Dr. Jonathan Crane. 876 00:32:51,645 --> 00:32:55,149 - Why, hello, Mr. Dent, I'm so very pleased 877 00:32:55,216 --> 00:32:56,417 to make your acquaintance. 878 00:32:56,517 --> 00:32:57,852 - [chuckles] Oh, the good doctor 879 00:32:57,918 --> 00:32:59,854 is really going to get in your noggin 880 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:01,422 and give it a fresh coat of paint. 881 00:33:01,522 --> 00:33:02,890 You won't believe the difference. 882 00:33:02,990 --> 00:33:04,258 Isn't that right, Dr. Crane? 883 00:33:04,358 --> 00:33:05,593 Oh, most certainly. 884 00:33:05,693 --> 00:33:07,995 I think we're gonna make excellent progress 885 00:33:08,062 --> 00:33:11,098 if you just put your trust in me. 886 00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:13,601 I promise you... [chuckles] 887 00:33:13,701 --> 00:33:15,603 You don't have a thing to fear 888 00:33:15,703 --> 00:33:17,238 from Dr. Jonathan Crane. 889 00:33:17,338 --> 00:33:18,706 narrator: What's this? 890 00:33:18,773 --> 00:33:20,374 Unbeknownst to all present, 891 00:33:20,441 --> 00:33:24,011 the Scarecrow stands unmasked in their midst. 892 00:33:24,078 --> 00:33:25,346 [chuckles] 893 00:33:25,413 --> 00:33:26,781 narrator: A doctor of the mind. 894 00:33:26,881 --> 00:33:28,582 A surgeon of the psyche. 895 00:33:28,682 --> 00:33:32,053 What diabolical malpractice does he have in store 896 00:33:32,119 --> 00:33:36,123 for Gotham's most famously fractured fiend? 897 00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:38,459 The answers in the next excursion 898 00:33:38,559 --> 00:33:42,530 out beyond life and death in Gotham City. 899 00:33:42,596 --> 00:33:45,199 To be continued... 900 00:33:49,437 --> 00:33:51,605 - "Batman: The Audio Adventures," 901 00:33:51,705 --> 00:33:54,642 written and directed by Dennis McNicholas. 902 00:33:54,742 --> 00:33:58,079 Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger. 903 00:33:58,145 --> 00:34:00,314 Based on characters from DC. 904 00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:03,150 With performances by Jeffrey Wright, 905 00:34:03,250 --> 00:34:06,253 Aristotle Athari, Ike Barinholtz, 906 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,256 Rosario Dawson, Steve Higgins, 907 00:34:09,323 --> 00:34:11,959 Toby Huss, Gillian Jacobs, 908 00:34:12,059 --> 00:34:14,662 John Leguizamo, Dennis McNicholas, 909 00:34:14,762 --> 00:34:17,398 Tim Meadows, Seth Meyers, 910 00:34:17,465 --> 00:34:20,101 Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell, 911 00:34:20,167 --> 00:34:22,670 Katie Rich, Ben Rodgers, 912 00:34:22,770 --> 00:34:25,306 Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz, 913 00:34:25,406 --> 00:34:27,842 Brooke Shields, Brent Spiner, 914 00:34:27,942 --> 00:34:30,511 Kenan Thompson, Alan Tudyk, 915 00:34:30,611 --> 00:34:33,814 Bradley Whitford, Melissa Villaseñor, 916 00:34:33,914 --> 00:34:36,517 Eli Brueggemann, Doug Bossi, 917 00:34:36,617 --> 00:34:39,420 Ronjini Brown, Chris Gibney, 918 00:34:39,487 --> 00:34:41,956 Julie Larson, Erica Phillips, 919 00:34:42,022 --> 00:34:44,525 Rosie Phillips, Tony Phillips, 920 00:34:44,625 --> 00:34:47,027 Zoey Phillips, Deirdre Quinn, 921 00:34:47,128 --> 00:34:48,662 Robbie Wyckoff. 922 00:34:48,762 --> 00:34:52,766 Executive producers, John Berg, Angela Petrella. 923 00:34:52,833 --> 00:34:55,169 Produced by Dennis McNicholas. 924 00:34:55,269 --> 00:34:57,438 Executives in charge of production, 925 00:34:57,505 --> 00:35:00,174 Shaleen Desae, Peter Girardi. 926 00:35:00,274 --> 00:35:02,209 Producer, Tyler Dorson. 927 00:35:02,309 --> 00:35:04,712 Production services by Cast Media. 928 00:35:04,812 --> 00:35:06,680 Producer, Colin Thompson. 929 00:35:06,780 --> 00:35:09,383 Coordinating producer, DJ Lubel. 930 00:35:09,483 --> 00:35:11,519 Music by Doug Bossi. 931 00:35:11,619 --> 00:35:13,821 Sound recording, design, and mixing 932 00:35:13,888 --> 00:35:15,356 by Big Yellow Duck. 933 00:35:15,456 --> 00:35:18,025 Sound design, mixing, dialogue editing, 934 00:35:18,125 --> 00:35:20,694 and rerecording mixing by Chris Gibney. 935 00:35:20,794 --> 00:35:23,297 Dialogue editing and additional post-production 936 00:35:23,364 --> 00:35:24,865 by Julie Larson. 937 00:35:24,965 --> 00:35:28,068 Original songs by Doug Bossi and Tony Phillips. 938 00:35:28,169 --> 00:35:29,870 The characters and events depicted 939 00:35:29,970 --> 00:35:31,705 in this podcast are fictional. 940 00:35:31,805 --> 00:35:34,141 Any similarity to any actual person 941 00:35:34,208 --> 00:35:37,011 living or dead or to any actual events, 942 00:35:37,077 --> 00:35:40,548 firms, places, and institutions or other entities 943 00:35:40,648 --> 00:35:42,816 is coincidental and unintentional. 944 00:35:42,883 --> 00:35:44,919 This podcast is protected under the laws 945 00:35:45,019 --> 00:35:47,388 of the United States and other countries, 946 00:35:47,488 --> 00:35:49,156 and its unauthorized duplication, 947 00:35:49,223 --> 00:35:50,991 distribution, or exhibition 948 00:35:51,058 --> 00:35:54,495 may result in civil liability and criminal prosecution. 949 00:35:54,562 --> 00:35:57,665 Country of first publication, United States of America. 950 00:35:57,731 --> 00:35:59,600 "Batman: the Audio Adventures," 951 00:35:59,700 --> 00:36:01,101 copyright 2022, 952 00:36:01,202 --> 00:36:03,237 Warner Brothers Entertainment Incorporated. 953 00:36:03,337 --> 00:36:05,873 Batman and all related characters and elements 954 00:36:05,940 --> 00:36:08,409 are trademark and copyright DC. 955 00:36:08,509 --> 00:36:10,044 All rights reserved. 956 00:36:10,110 --> 00:36:13,047 [jazz music] 957 00:36:13,113 --> 00:36:14,515 ♪ ♪