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Testing Track A.
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00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:13,056
Start March 4th, 2:02 p.m.
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This recording is a private
and confidential document
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00:00:15,291 --> 00:00:17,293
in accordance with the code
of medical ethics
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00:00:17,393 --> 00:00:18,561
of the city of Gotham.
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Patient file Dent,
comma Harvey--
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And associate.
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And associate.
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00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:28,771
Uh, introductory
psychoanalytic examinations,
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00:00:28,871 --> 00:00:31,808
attending physician,
Dr. Jonathan Crane.
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This is session number two.
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File note,
there is no surviving record
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00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:39,315
of session one in this series.
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Do you wanna tell me
why you destroyed
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the tape machine
in our first session, Harvey?
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- This is our first session,
Doc--session two.
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00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:50,259
Yes, now we can begin.
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00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:52,161
- I see.
- I'm sorry it had
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00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,396
to come to that, Dr. Crane.
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00:00:53,463 --> 00:00:54,931
But "Tea for Two"
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always means one for the pot.
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Hmm, tell me more about that.
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- Oh, God,
it takes two to tango, Doc.
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A fly's got two wings, right?
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'Cause y--
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'Cause you see, if you pull
one of the wings off,
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- the fly just goes in circles.
- Hmm, I see.
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- What he's saying,
Dr. Crane, is that we can't
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afford to go in circles today,
okay?
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We need to make progress.
We--we know we need your help.
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- Mm-hmm, you know,
the best way for me
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00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:29,265
to help you is to establish
a bond of trust between us.
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Sure, sure.
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Hear, hear.
Trust is paramount.
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00:01:33,436 --> 00:01:37,540
- Fabulous, then hand over
your coin, please.
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00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:41,878
Sorry, Doc. Fat chance.
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00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:46,215
- Oh, I think there's
at least a 50/50 chance,
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because it's not up to you.
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Isn't that right?
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That's dirty pool, Doc.
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00:01:51,988 --> 00:01:53,122
Better ask the coin.
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00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:55,791
...the coin.
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Coin says yes.
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00:01:58,694 --> 00:02:01,364
We--we don't
argue with the coin.
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- Thank you.
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Don't worry, I'll just place it
right here on the table.
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- Fine, fine!
- Now then, session two.
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00:02:10,373 --> 00:02:13,309
We meet again
for the very first time.
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00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:15,578
So why don't you
introduce yourselves?
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00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,413
My name is Harvey Dent--
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00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,383
And I'm the senior partner.
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00:02:20,483 --> 00:02:22,051
Oh, senior partner?
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00:02:22,151 --> 00:02:24,353
But Harvey was here first,
wasn't he?
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Wrong. Wrong.
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I was here first.
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He was. He's always been here.
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I'm Harvey's blood.
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Do you get it?
You know, the sticky red stuff.
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Before college boy learned
his own name,
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I was what he knew.
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Listen,
I'm all you need to know.
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He's what we all are, Doctor,
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before
the civilizing influences.
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Ah, civilize this, short pants.
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Fascinating.
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00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:56,419
It's a very,
very interesting story.
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00:02:56,519 --> 00:03:00,723
But I heard a different one.
It's a horror story.
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00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:04,527
It takes place in a courtroom--
stars you, Harvey,
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00:03:04,594 --> 00:03:09,131
a jet of pressurized acid
and a hideous disfigurement.
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- Best day of our life.
- Is that so?
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00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:15,238
- That day set me free,
like it was in the beginning.
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- I don't think
the acid set you free.
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00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:21,310
I think it found you
in your hiding place.
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00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,479
- What?
- I think you were hiding,
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00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,381
because you were afraid.
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I think you're still afraid--
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afraid of what you would do
without Harvey.
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Hah! Like fun.
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00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,790
- Do you ever wonder
what if that acid had taken
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00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:38,628
more than half of your face
that terrible day?
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00:03:38,728 --> 00:03:39,996
What then?
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00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:42,632
What if when the acid
had done its business,
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00:03:42,732 --> 00:03:46,235
there wasn't enough Harvey
left to do the serious work?
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00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:49,071
- Hah!
Oh, it never crossed our mind.
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00:03:49,138 --> 00:03:51,807
- You won't let it,
because it frightens you,
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00:03:51,907 --> 00:03:54,777
doesn't it?
The thought of being alone.
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00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:58,681
Let's try something.
Bear with me.
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00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,151
Guess what I have
here in this jug.
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00:04:02,251 --> 00:04:05,755
Oof!
What fumes.
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00:04:05,821 --> 00:04:09,525
Let's just pour a splash
or two into the glass.
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00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,193
- Wh--what is that?
What are you doing?
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00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:15,431
- It's a 97% solution
of muriatic acid, Harvey.
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00:04:15,498 --> 00:04:17,133
I believe that's your brand.
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00:04:17,199 --> 00:04:18,834
- What--what
are you gonna do with that?
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00:04:18,934 --> 00:04:21,804
- What are you afraid
I'm gonna do with it, hmm?
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00:04:21,871 --> 00:04:26,676
Tell me as I wave it
around carelessly--oops!
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00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:30,046
As the vapors
burn your nostrils,
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00:04:30,146 --> 00:04:32,815
tell me about the fear.
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00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:36,218
Fear?
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00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,687
You couldn't be more wrong,
Doc.
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00:04:37,787 --> 00:04:39,188
You think we got
some deep trauma
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about what happened that day?
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00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:42,625
We're twice the man
we were before.
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What we became isn't some
broken thing to be fixed.
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00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:49,799
It's something to be cleaned
and oiled and reloaded.
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So sorry, Doc.
Your acid doesn't scare us.
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00:04:53,703 --> 00:04:55,504
It made us.
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00:04:55,571 --> 00:04:57,973
You wanna finish the job
on our face?
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We dare ya.
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Your face?
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I am sorry. You misunderstand.
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I don't think you fear
for your face.
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I think you fear
for the other handicap
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- you acquired that day.
- What?
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00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:14,056
- And that all it would take
to reduce you to a puddle
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00:05:14,156 --> 00:05:17,927
of quivering terror would be
for me to take your coin
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off the table like this.
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00:05:20,162 --> 00:05:21,530
- And...
- Wait, wait, wait,
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what are you--
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00:05:22,832 --> 00:05:24,100
Oops! Into the drink.
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00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,434
Oh, my.
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Look at it dissolve.
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That's muriatic acid for you.
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00:05:29,405 --> 00:05:31,107
- What did you--
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00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:33,509
- It's called
aggressive intervention.
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00:05:33,576 --> 00:05:36,412
And why don't we stop there
for this session?
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00:05:36,512 --> 00:05:38,447
Good progress.
I think we had a breakthrough.
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00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,082
What did you do?
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00:05:40,182 --> 00:05:42,885
Gotham,
a dark syrup pouring slowly
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from cut crystal.
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Join us once again
for a tale of life and death
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in Gotham City,
March the third.
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00:05:50,092 --> 00:05:52,962
As Penguin's grip on the
police department tightens,
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00:05:53,062 --> 00:05:55,698
Two-Face's grip
on sanity weakens,
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and his fiendish physician
delights at the spectacle.
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Yes, the celebrated
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00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,906
Dr. Jonathan Crane,
psychiatrist,
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00:06:03,973 --> 00:06:06,308
is also
the diabolical drug pusher
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known as the Scarecrow,
a secret he keeps safe
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00:06:10,112 --> 00:06:11,814
from all of Gotham City.
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00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:14,750
But when the world's greatest
detective is on the case,
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00:06:14,817 --> 00:06:16,318
it is only a matter of time
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00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:19,054
before all secrets
are revealed.
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00:06:21,257 --> 00:06:24,727
- The Harlequin, theater's
most beloved star-crossed
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lover and magical fool.
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00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:29,131
The words from
the museum ricochet around
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00:06:29,231 --> 00:06:31,300
in the addled noodle
of Harley Quinn.
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00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,803
- The Harlequin plays
the most crucial role
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00:06:33,903 --> 00:06:35,805
in the traditional
pantomime show.
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00:06:35,905 --> 00:06:38,841
Crucial, that's the
word for what she's feeling.
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00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:42,278
It's crucial she become what
the Joker wants her to be.
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- For Harlequin alone
has the power
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to magically transform
dreary melodrama
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into madcap comedy.
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00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:50,820
What is life
without her beloved
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00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,688
but a dreary melodrama?
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00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,690
It's up to her
to bring the laughs,
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00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:57,993
and that all depends
on finding a magic bat.
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00:06:58,093 --> 00:07:02,031
Yes, when the going gets
tough, the weird go shopping.
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00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:04,500
Her search has brought her
to that famous coast
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00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,937
of holiday pageantry,
Gacey's Department Store.
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She waits fitfully through her
last moments of her journey
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in the crowded confines
of a caged elevator.
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Fifth floor.
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00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:17,379
- Hey, spread out,
spinach chin.
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00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,881
You're in my no-fly zone.
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00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:21,050
- Cutlery, garden tools,
firearms, sporting goods.
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Hey, that's me.
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00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:24,019
One side, lady, one side.
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00:07:24,119 --> 00:07:25,521
Hey, nice hat, by the way.
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00:07:25,621 --> 00:07:27,623
Harley's
new costume is a vision.
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All that remains
is to accessorize.
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00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,528
Not content to be
mere hot stuff,
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00:07:32,628 --> 00:07:35,664
she figures she's one
magic baseball bat away
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00:07:35,731 --> 00:07:37,233
from being a knockout.
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00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,634
You, bow tie.
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00:07:38,701 --> 00:07:40,002
She makes
a killer beeline
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00:07:40,069 --> 00:07:41,504
for the
sporting goods counter.
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00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:43,038
I need a baseball bat.
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00:07:43,138 --> 00:07:45,574
I've been all over town
looking for a big bat
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00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,142
with that magic feeling.
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00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:48,811
Should've come to us first.
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00:07:48,878 --> 00:07:50,713
We have the best selection
in Gotham.
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00:07:50,813 --> 00:07:52,982
- Baseball fan?
- Pally, right now, I'm living
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00:07:53,048 --> 00:07:54,350
to hear the crack of that bat.
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00:07:54,416 --> 00:07:56,252
- So a real fanatic then?
- At least!
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00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:59,522
I'm a fanatic, a nut, a maniac,
a psycho, and a fiend.
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00:07:59,588 --> 00:08:01,023
You don't say?
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00:08:01,090 --> 00:08:03,092
- Ah, they should put me
in a rubber room
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00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,827
before I hurt someone.
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00:08:04,894 --> 00:08:07,363
Hey, hand me that big bat
there, would ya?
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00:08:07,429 --> 00:08:08,664
- Sure thing.
There you go.
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00:08:08,731 --> 00:08:09,932
Try it out.
Take a few swings.
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00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:13,168
- Whoa, careful there.
You see the game last night?
195
00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:14,503
Heard the score on the radio.
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00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,405
Sounds like good ol'
Swat Fleischacker
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00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:19,008
kept it goin'.
What a hittin' streak, right?
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00:08:19,074 --> 00:08:20,910
- He's legendary.
And he crushed the first pitch
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00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:22,778
he saw for a double
off the wall.
200
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:25,080
Couldn't have been more
than three feet from a homer.
201
00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:27,750
Then two more hits
off the bullpen!
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00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:29,552
That bat of his is magic.
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00:08:29,618 --> 00:08:32,454
Heard he drilled something
like 100 foul balls
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00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,756
right into the cheap seats,
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00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:35,724
and he didn't brain
a single fan.
206
00:08:35,791 --> 00:08:37,293
No, he did,
207
00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:39,962
but she was old and barely
left the convent anymore.
208
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,531
- Another nun.
What are the odds?
209
00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:45,768
- How high is the body count now?
- This season, eight.
210
00:08:45,868 --> 00:08:48,771
Well, I heard the Gaslamps
mascot recently succumbed
211
00:08:48,871 --> 00:08:51,874
to his injuries,
so eight with an asterisk.
212
00:08:51,941 --> 00:08:53,943
- Poor Lampy.
But let's be honest.
213
00:08:54,043 --> 00:08:56,579
A head that size
is an awful big target.
214
00:08:56,645 --> 00:08:57,813
Oh, sure.
215
00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,481
And anyhow,
on a 53-game streak,
216
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:00,916
you're bound to have
a few accidents.
217
00:09:00,983 --> 00:09:02,818
- Whoa, wow! Easy there.
218
00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,120
- Seven more hits
for the league record now.
219
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:08,390
That slim Jim is sluggin'
to beat 60, literally.
220
00:09:08,457 --> 00:09:10,492
- Careful there. You, uh--
221
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:12,127
- This bat ain't working
for me.
222
00:09:12,227 --> 00:09:14,630
- No? Now, what is it
you're looking for, exactly?
223
00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:18,000
- Bat--big bat that can turn
a dog into a pile of sausages.
224
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,602
- Oh, a real piece of timber,
huh?
225
00:09:19,668 --> 00:09:20,836
Well, this black ash
is a beauty.
226
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,004
Let me see that.
227
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,305
- Here you go--
228
00:09:23,405 --> 00:09:24,740
Whoa, ha!
You got quite a swing.
229
00:09:24,807 --> 00:09:26,175
Maybe take
a little step back there.
230
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:27,509
You nearly cleaned my clock.
231
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,011
Anyhoo, how 'bout that
Toots Tully?
232
00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:31,013
- Oh, love Toots.
Toots on a roll.
233
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,616
- Who knew a rookie
could be such a corker?
234
00:09:33,682 --> 00:09:35,451
A rookie with a glass eye
to boot, huh?
235
00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:37,019
- Glass eye,
steel plate in his head,
236
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,988
and a crippling fear of
children and the elderly,
237
00:09:39,088 --> 00:09:40,856
and still hits .340-something
in AA.
238
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,625
- Yeah, that man's
overcome so much.
239
00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:43,959
But Landry won't play him
240
00:09:44,026 --> 00:09:45,461
'cause he's so in love
with Hobgood.
241
00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:46,862
- Is this pine?
- White birch.
242
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,264
- And which one
is more bone-crushing?
243
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:50,866
Uh, try the pine?
244
00:09:50,966 --> 00:09:51,867
Look out!
245
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,135
I don't even know what
246
00:09:53,202 --> 00:09:55,037
Hobgood's doing in there
against lefties.
247
00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:56,472
Well, that's on Landry.
248
00:09:56,538 --> 00:09:58,540
- I mean, how hard is it
to fill out a lineup?
249
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,776
You do it every day
and somehow it's always wrong.
250
00:10:00,843 --> 00:10:03,145
- Must take lessons
from the weatherman.
251
00:10:03,212 --> 00:10:05,314
- I'm just a bum
with a sack of peanuts.
252
00:10:05,381 --> 00:10:08,217
Even I know we shoulda never
signed Hobgood.
253
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:12,187
There's a reason you don't see
a lot of 300-pound infielders.
254
00:10:12,287 --> 00:10:13,889
- You likin' the feel
of that one?
255
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:15,290
It's pretty good.
256
00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:17,059
This is a big honkin' bat,
ain't it?
257
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,561
Feel like I could smash
this entire store with it.
258
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:21,063
- Uh, yeah.
259
00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,165
You absolutely could.
Is this for softball?
260
00:10:23,232 --> 00:10:26,135
- No, this is for smashing
the entire store with it.
261
00:10:27,469 --> 00:10:29,071
Yeah, but none
of these are right.
262
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:32,641
These are good, but I need
turn-dog-into-sausages good,
263
00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:34,309
like Swat Fleischacker has.
264
00:10:34,376 --> 00:10:36,045
I need that kind of boy howdy.
265
00:10:36,145 --> 00:10:38,747
Eh, maybe I should
just get ahold of his bat.
266
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,883
- What, you're talking
about Sluggerella?
267
00:10:40,983 --> 00:10:42,851
That bat is one of a kind.
268
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:45,587
He's never been to the plate
with any other bat.
269
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:49,358
You'd have to cave in his head
with it before he'd let it go,
270
00:10:49,425 --> 00:10:51,093
- I guess.
- Well, thank you.
271
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:54,763
That's really helpful.
So where can I find him?
272
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,665
- Find who,
Swat Fleischacker?
273
00:10:56,732 --> 00:10:58,734
The Lamps are out of town
till the weekend.
274
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:03,839
- Fantastic, then I got plenty
of time to rescue Santy Claus.
275
00:11:03,906 --> 00:11:05,874
- Wait, what?
- I figure as long as I'm here
276
00:11:05,941 --> 00:11:08,343
at Gacey's, I might as well
rescue Santy Claus.
277
00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:10,412
You can either
bring him out peaceful
278
00:11:10,512 --> 00:11:11,947
or we do the other way.
279
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,850
- Santy Claus?
But why?
280
00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:17,352
- It's March.
- Don't you play dumb with me.
281
00:11:17,419 --> 00:11:19,722
Everybody knows
Gacey's department store
282
00:11:19,788 --> 00:11:22,291
has got Santy Claus for
the kiddies every Christmas,
283
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:25,627
and everyone knows he's held
here against his will.
284
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:26,962
Against his will?
285
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,098
- Just show me where you
keep him locked up
286
00:11:29,198 --> 00:11:31,066
when it ain't
Christmas time, pally.
287
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:32,868
I just need proof of life here.
288
00:11:32,935 --> 00:11:34,903
If Santy tells me
everything's good,
289
00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:36,638
I got no beef.
I go in peace.
290
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:40,409
But if you don't make with the
jolly old elf pronto...
291
00:11:40,476 --> 00:11:42,144
Somebody's taking a long
292
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,613
- winter's nap.
- Security!
293
00:11:44,713 --> 00:11:48,250
Harley Quinn is one
step away from her becoming.
294
00:11:48,317 --> 00:11:52,087
Next begins the courtship
of the Clown Prince of Crime,
295
00:11:52,154 --> 00:11:55,991
a love story plucked
from betwixt life and death
296
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:58,460
in Gotham City.
297
00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,928
- Welcome
to the Monarch Theater.
298
00:11:59,995 --> 00:12:01,597
To ensure the enjoyment
of all patrons,
299
00:12:01,663 --> 00:12:03,332
we ask that you please
refrain from smoking
300
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,167
as soon as it becomes hard
to see the screen.
301
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,002
Now sit back
and enjoy the show.
302
00:12:14,309 --> 00:12:16,111
Who knows what evil dwells
303
00:12:16,178 --> 00:12:18,313
in the heart
of the dark of the city?
304
00:12:18,413 --> 00:12:20,349
One lone defender
of the night--
305
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:21,683
Look!
306
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:22,851
In the shadows--
307
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,153
on the rooftops!
308
00:12:24,253 --> 00:12:25,821
It's a specter.
It's a shade.
309
00:12:25,921 --> 00:12:28,357
It's a phantom.
It's an apparition.
310
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:31,260
It's a good thing
I bought this thesaurus.
311
00:12:31,326 --> 00:12:32,828
It's Bat-Mite!
312
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:40,202
Argus Studios Consolidated
Cartoons presents Bat-Mite in
313
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,638
"Bedtime for Baby Doll."
314
00:12:47,376 --> 00:12:50,212
- I saw the Mite Light in
the sky, Commissioner Gorgon.
315
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:53,015
What foul plot
threatens the city, eh?
316
00:12:53,115 --> 00:12:55,717
- Ah, finally, Bat-Mite.
Now, see here.
317
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:59,721
I'm going out for the evening,
and I'm leaving you in charge.
318
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,390
Yes, sir, Commissioner.
319
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,160
I stand ready
to dispense cold justice.
320
00:13:05,227 --> 00:13:07,896
- Good to hear it, 'cause
I need the dishes washed,
321
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,032
the dog walked,
the cat put out,
322
00:13:10,132 --> 00:13:12,534
the squad car scrubbed,
and most of all,
323
00:13:12,634 --> 00:13:15,237
I need you to make sure
Baby Doll
324
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,339
doesn't stay up
past her bedtime.
325
00:13:17,406 --> 00:13:21,810
- Oh, d'aww, do you mean this
adorable tyke, Commissioner?
326
00:13:23,412 --> 00:13:27,583
- Oh, ain't she a peach?
Well, that's no trouble at all.
327
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,418
It better not be.
328
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,354
I've got my eye on you,
Bat-Mite.
329
00:13:32,421 --> 00:13:34,590
- Don't worry about a thing,
Commissioner.
330
00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:35,858
Leave it to--
331
00:13:35,924 --> 00:13:38,427
- Me...
332
00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,195
hey, uh-oh.
333
00:13:40,262 --> 00:13:43,031
Baby Doll,
take off those roller skates--
334
00:13:43,098 --> 00:13:44,666
- This instant.
335
00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:47,202
You're making me
very vengeful!
336
00:13:47,269 --> 00:13:49,438
Ah, no, Baby Doll,
337
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:51,773
not the construction site.
338
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,678
- 'Scuse me, sir.
I mean, come on.
339
00:13:56,745 --> 00:13:58,380
You don't
have the theater to yourself.
340
00:13:58,447 --> 00:14:00,682
- Can you maybe just, uh,
341
00:14:00,749 --> 00:14:02,951
not laugh like a maniac?
342
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:06,455
I mean, God sakes,
you sound like the J--
343
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:09,458
Sounds like who now, Jackson?
344
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:12,227
- Um, mister, I'm s--
I didn't mean to--
345
00:14:12,294 --> 00:14:16,431
I didn't realize--
346
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:25,974
Ooh, it's good to laugh again.
347
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,076
348
00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:29,645
at the end of the tunnel.
349
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:33,115
Unfortunately,
it's a raging track fire.
350
00:14:33,215 --> 00:14:36,451
Join us once again
for a tale of life and death
351
00:14:36,551 --> 00:14:38,253
in Gotham City.
352
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,590
The Gotham Metropolitan Subway
System is hundreds of miles
353
00:14:41,657 --> 00:14:44,159
of winding darkness
beneath the great city.
354
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:47,095
Nearly a century
of piecemeal expansion
355
00:14:47,162 --> 00:14:49,097
has left a labyrinthine legacy
356
00:14:49,164 --> 00:14:52,000
of sealed tunnels,
unfinished excavations,
357
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,003
and abandoned
subterranean stations.
358
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,606
In one such
long forgotten station,
359
00:14:57,673 --> 00:14:59,074
deep under the narrows,
360
00:14:59,141 --> 00:15:01,176
the ace reporter
for the "Gotham Gazette"
361
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,245
is just admitting defeat.
362
00:15:03,312 --> 00:15:04,780
Well, this was a bust.
363
00:15:04,846 --> 00:15:06,515
364
00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:10,152
incisive, persistent,
courageous, and driven.
365
00:15:10,252 --> 00:15:11,853
But she is not proud.
366
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,855
She rolled the dice
on a long shot,
367
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,290
and it has not panned out.
368
00:15:15,357 --> 00:15:16,692
- 2:18 a.m.
369
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:19,094
Still no sign of him.
Am I surprised?
370
00:15:19,161 --> 00:15:22,130
This was a stupid idea,
and it just gets stupider
371
00:15:22,197 --> 00:15:23,365
the longer I sit here waiting
372
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,434
on an abandoned
subway platform.
373
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,536
- If you're waiting
for the uptown, Ms. Vale,
374
00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:28,537
I have to agree.
375
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,205
The last train came through
376
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,606
about 60 years ago.
377
00:15:31,673 --> 00:15:34,443
- I don't believe it.
You got the message.
378
00:15:34,509 --> 00:15:35,877
You actually showed up.
379
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,713
- You're a rigorous reporter,
Ms. Vale.
380
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,381
- Thank you?
- So I took notice
381
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,383
when your reporting in
the morning gazette included
382
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,385
an interview
with a Gotham transit official
383
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,721
who has been dead
for half a century.
384
00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:47,456
- You know
your transit officials.
385
00:15:47,522 --> 00:15:49,391
- I know the late
Winston Munson was obsessed
386
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:52,661
with this subway station and
the persistent bat infestation
387
00:15:52,728 --> 00:15:54,563
that closed it decades ago.
388
00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,064
Once you had my attention,
389
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,400
it was short work to decode
the meeting request
390
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,801
you'd hidden in the text.
391
00:15:59,868 --> 00:16:00,736
Here I am.
392
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,204
I hope this is important.
393
00:16:02,304 --> 00:16:04,172
- So now I know
you're a local history buff,
394
00:16:04,239 --> 00:16:06,541
and a very close reader
of the "Gazette,"
395
00:16:06,641 --> 00:16:08,744
don't you think you're
revealing a bit about yourself?
396
00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:10,645
- My eyes are everywhere
in this city.
397
00:16:10,712 --> 00:16:13,648
You can print that exclusive.
Now, what's this about?
398
00:16:13,715 --> 00:16:16,351
- It's JoyCure again.
- JoyCure.
399
00:16:16,418 --> 00:16:18,220
- The Joker toxin
that ACE Chemicals
400
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,422
tried to repackage
as an antidepressant.
401
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:22,324
- The JoyCure project
is finished
402
00:16:22,391 --> 00:16:24,359
thanks to your exposé
in the "Gazette."
403
00:16:24,426 --> 00:16:26,995
- Yes, and ACE Chemicals is
discontinuing all products
404
00:16:27,062 --> 00:16:29,097
derived from the Joker formulas
they stole.
405
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,933
- Well, that's the good news.
- It's more than good news.
406
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:34,236
You averted a catastrophe,
Ms. Vale.
407
00:16:34,336 --> 00:16:36,505
I analyzed a sample of JoyCure.
408
00:16:36,571 --> 00:16:38,907
It was not remotely ready
for human trials.
409
00:16:39,007 --> 00:16:40,609
If that poison
had hit the market,
410
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,745
we'd be overrun by giggling
psychopaths within a week.
411
00:16:43,845 --> 00:16:45,447
The city owes you
a debt of gratitude.
412
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,716
- I'm not expecting
to collect on that,
413
00:16:47,783 --> 00:16:50,919
but maybe you can
help me out with a loose end.
414
00:16:51,019 --> 00:16:52,421
What loose end?
415
00:16:52,521 --> 00:16:54,623
- When I was digging in
on the JoyCure story,
416
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:55,957
one name kept coming up.
417
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,459
I didn't think
much of it at the time,
418
00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,394
but it's back
on my radar screen.
419
00:16:59,461 --> 00:17:02,731
- What name?
- Dr. Jonathan Crane.
420
00:17:02,798 --> 00:17:05,967
- Yes, I know who he is--
a psychiatrist of note.
421
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,803
He's one
of Hugo Strange's acolytes.
422
00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:09,738
- That's right,
and he wasn't just a consultant
423
00:17:09,805 --> 00:17:12,974
on the JoyCure project.
He was an aggressive believer.
424
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:15,043
- His involvement
is not surprising.
425
00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:17,746
He wrote a well-regarded
monograph about the Joker.
426
00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:19,314
He has flashy credentials.
427
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,450
ACE Chemicals would benefit
from a name like that
428
00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:23,585
associated with
the JoyCure project.
429
00:17:23,652 --> 00:17:25,754
- Yes, he has quite
the good name in his field.
430
00:17:25,821 --> 00:17:27,155
That's why I found it strange
431
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,291
that he'd take
an off-the-books job
432
00:17:29,391 --> 00:17:32,127
working for a lowlife
like the Penguin.
433
00:17:32,227 --> 00:17:33,995
- Crane is working
for the Penguin?
434
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,497
- I can think
of only one reason
435
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,933
he'd risk his academic
reputation by slumming it
436
00:17:37,999 --> 00:17:40,268
with Oswald Cobblepot
all of a sudden.
437
00:17:40,335 --> 00:17:43,405
- A chance to practice
psychiatry on Harvey Dent.
438
00:17:43,472 --> 00:17:45,173
- Well, when you're
a brilliant psychiatrist
439
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,342
looking for a challenge,
that one's a double.
440
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,644
- I'll investigate.
Thank you, Ms. Vale.
441
00:17:49,744 --> 00:17:51,246
- This is getting
out of my depth.
442
00:17:51,313 --> 00:17:54,516
I'm a beat reporter.
I don't fight supervillains.
443
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:57,586
- Hmm, just claim them
as personal friends.
444
00:17:57,652 --> 00:17:59,087
What? Come on.
445
00:17:59,154 --> 00:18:00,355
You mean Catwoman?
446
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:02,090
She's no villain,
and you know that.
447
00:18:02,157 --> 00:18:05,026
- Arkham is full of miscreants
that have caused this city
448
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,361
far less turmoil.
449
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,430
She's a source of
indiscriminate chaos
450
00:18:08,497 --> 00:18:09,764
in the underworld.
451
00:18:09,831 --> 00:18:11,766
I know
you're friendly with Catwoman.
452
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:14,002
If you have any influence
over your friend,
453
00:18:14,102 --> 00:18:15,604
I advise you to exert it.
454
00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:17,873
She crossed a line
with her stunt at the circus.
455
00:18:17,973 --> 00:18:20,108
- So I should tell her
you're unhappy?
456
00:18:20,175 --> 00:18:21,543
She knows that.
457
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,045
You should tell her there's
now a price on her head.
458
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:27,215
The word went out on the street
tonight--"Bring in the cat."
459
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:31,219
The payout is $9 million,
cash on the barrel head.
460
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:32,654
$9 million?
461
00:18:32,721 --> 00:18:35,223
- It's the going rate
for taking nine lives.
462
00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,693
463
00:18:38,793 --> 00:18:42,063
into the darkness, leaving
Vicki Vale standing alone
464
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:45,300
amidst the bats
and the rats and the ruin.
465
00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:48,069
In the end, will anything else
be left behind?
466
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:52,741
Perhaps only the ruthless
exchange of life and death
467
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,142
in Gotham City.
468
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:07,088
- What's up,
Gotham insomniacs?
469
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,357
You are!
And that means I am too.
470
00:19:09,424 --> 00:19:12,694
This is the diabolical
Dr. Dulcedone reminding you
471
00:19:12,761 --> 00:19:15,263
that even in the dead
of night, the lights are on
472
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,667
at WGBO in
the Wee Hours Nut House.
473
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:20,936
It's a solid block
of late night oldies
474
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:22,337
to keep the party swinging
475
00:19:22,404 --> 00:19:24,940
long after the amateurs
say good night.
476
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,442
Hey, if I'm gonna be up,
you're gonna be up.
477
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:30,445
And I'm gonna be up
because I don't sleep anymore!
478
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:33,048
That's right--
it's 26 days and counting
479
00:19:33,114 --> 00:19:35,450
since I have known
a moment's slumber.
480
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:37,752
Would you be able to sleep
if you knew the Joker
481
00:19:37,852 --> 00:19:40,188
had been in your apartment
while you were gone?
482
00:19:40,255 --> 00:19:42,123
I mean,
what did he do in there?
483
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,426
Why does everything
look so normal?
484
00:19:44,526 --> 00:19:47,128
Is that the joke?
That there is no joke?
485
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:48,697
I can't take it anymore.
486
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:49,965
If my landlord is listening,
487
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:52,734
consider
- apartment 5
- G abandoned.
488
00:19:52,801 --> 00:19:54,936
Keep all my belongings,
Mrs. Fishbed.
489
00:19:55,036 --> 00:19:57,138
I live here now
in this radio booth,
490
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,874
where we're spinning classic
swing and golden oldies
491
00:19:59,941 --> 00:20:02,744
all night long
in the Wee Hours Nut House.
492
00:20:02,811 --> 00:20:05,247
Honestly,
I don't know why I ever slept.
493
00:20:05,313 --> 00:20:06,481
I feel wonderful.
494
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,920
Why does
everything look so normal?
495
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,559
Life and death
in Gotham City.
496
00:20:17,626 --> 00:20:19,060
Epilogue.
497
00:20:19,127 --> 00:20:22,330
- You're still very upset
about your coin, aren't you?
498
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,065
I need the coin again.
499
00:20:24,132 --> 00:20:25,567
Again, please.
500
00:20:25,634 --> 00:20:26,635
- Don't you think
you'd like to talk to me
501
00:20:26,735 --> 00:20:27,669
a little more about it?
502
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,671
We don't know!
503
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:33,775
How are we supposed to know?
504
00:20:33,842 --> 00:20:37,012
- I understand, Harvey.
I understand.
505
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:41,916
Even the tiniest decision
seems impossible to make now.
506
00:20:41,983 --> 00:20:45,086
This must be a very
scary time for you both.
507
00:20:45,153 --> 00:20:49,124
So much uncertainty,
so much fear.
508
00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:52,527
But I have something here that
can help turn that wretched
509
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:57,666
existential terror
into something gorgeous--
510
00:20:57,766 --> 00:20:59,701
meaningful--
511
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:00,869
a purpose.
512
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,871
It's a very special drug,
Harvey.
513
00:21:04,272 --> 00:21:06,541
- I'm a bit of an artist
with chemistry,
514
00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:12,447
but this stuff--oh, this stuff
is the Sistine Ceiling.
515
00:21:12,514 --> 00:21:16,284
Do you know that moment when
someone is telling a joke,
516
00:21:16,351 --> 00:21:18,386
and you suddenly get it?
517
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:19,888
Well, take a little of this,
518
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:23,191
and you'll start
getting jokes nobody told.
519
00:21:23,291 --> 00:21:24,659
That's right.
520
00:21:24,726 --> 00:21:27,962
Let's roll up that sleeve
for me, if you would.
521
00:21:28,029 --> 00:21:30,065
Now, you're gonna
feel a pinprick.
522
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:33,068
- Ooh!
- There, now, Harvey, relax.
523
00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:38,306
Let JoyCure
put a smile in your brain.
524
00:21:38,373 --> 00:21:40,842
Life and death
in Gotham City--
525
00:21:40,909 --> 00:21:44,245
to be continued...
526
00:21:46,881 --> 00:21:49,050
527
00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:52,087
written and directed
by Dennis McNicholas.
528
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:55,523
Batman created by Bob Kane
with Bill Finger.
529
00:21:55,590 --> 00:21:57,759
Based on characters from DC.
530
00:21:57,859 --> 00:22:00,595
With performances
by Jeffrey Wright,
531
00:22:00,695 --> 00:22:03,698
Aristotle Athari,
Ike Barinholtz,
532
00:22:03,765 --> 00:22:06,701
Rosario Dawson, Steve Higgins,
533
00:22:06,768 --> 00:22:09,404
Toby Huss, Gillian Jacobs,
534
00:22:09,504 --> 00:22:12,107
John Leguizamo,
Dennis McNicholas.
535
00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:14,843
Tim Meadows, Seth Meyers,
536
00:22:14,909 --> 00:22:17,545
Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell,
537
00:22:17,612 --> 00:22:20,115
Katie Rich, Ben Rogers,
538
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:22,751
Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz,
539
00:22:22,851 --> 00:22:25,286
Brooke Shields, Brent Spiner,
540
00:22:25,387 --> 00:22:27,722
Kenan Thompson, Alan Tudyk,
541
00:22:27,789 --> 00:22:31,259
Bradley Whitford,
Melissa Villaseñor,
542
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,962
Eli Brueggemann, Doug Bossi,
543
00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:36,865
Ronjini Brown, Chris Gibney,
544
00:22:36,931 --> 00:22:39,401
Julie Larson, Erica Phillips,
545
00:22:39,467 --> 00:22:41,970
Rosie Phillips, Tony Phillips,
546
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:44,472
Zoey Phillips, Deirdre Quinn,
547
00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:46,107
Robbie Wyckoff.
548
00:22:46,207 --> 00:22:50,211
Executive producers,
John Berg, Angela Petrella.
549
00:22:50,278 --> 00:22:52,614
Produced by Dennis McNicholas.
550
00:22:52,714 --> 00:22:54,883
Executives
in charge of production,
551
00:22:54,949 --> 00:22:57,619
Shaleen Desae, Peter Girardi.
552
00:22:57,719 --> 00:22:59,654
Producer, Tyler Dorson.
553
00:22:59,754 --> 00:23:02,157
Production services
by Cast Media.
554
00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:04,125
Producer, Colin Thompson.
555
00:23:04,225 --> 00:23:06,828
Coordinating producer,
DJ Lubel.
556
00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:08,963
Music by Doug Bossi.
557
00:23:09,063 --> 00:23:11,266
Sound recording, design,
and mixing
558
00:23:11,332 --> 00:23:12,801
by Big Yellow Duck.
559
00:23:12,901 --> 00:23:15,470
Sound design, mixing,
dialogue editing,
560
00:23:15,570 --> 00:23:18,106
and rerecording mixing
by Chris Gibney.
561
00:23:18,173 --> 00:23:20,675
Dialogue editing and
additional post-production
562
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:22,310
by Julie Larson.
563
00:23:22,410 --> 00:23:25,580
Original songs by Doug Bossi
and Tony Phillips.
564
00:23:25,647 --> 00:23:27,315
The characters and events
depicted
565
00:23:27,415 --> 00:23:29,150
in this podcast are fictional.
566
00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:31,586
Any similarity
to any actual person
567
00:23:31,653 --> 00:23:34,456
living or dead
or to any actual events,
568
00:23:34,522 --> 00:23:37,992
firms, places, and
institutions or other entities
569
00:23:38,092 --> 00:23:40,261
is coincidental
and unintentional.
570
00:23:40,328 --> 00:23:42,363
This podcast is protected
under the laws
571
00:23:42,464 --> 00:23:44,833
of the United States
and other countries,
572
00:23:44,933 --> 00:23:46,601
and its unauthorized
duplication,
573
00:23:46,668 --> 00:23:48,436
distribution, or exhibition
574
00:23:48,503 --> 00:23:51,940
may result in civil liability
and criminal prosecution.
575
00:23:52,006 --> 00:23:55,109
Country of first publication,
United States of America.
576
00:23:55,176 --> 00:23:57,145
577
00:23:57,212 --> 00:24:00,682
copyright 2022 Warner Bros.
Entertainment Inc.
578
00:24:00,782 --> 00:24:03,318
Batman and all related
characters and elements
579
00:24:03,384 --> 00:24:05,854
are trademark
and copyright DC.
580
00:24:05,954 --> 00:24:07,489
All rights reserved.