1 00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:06,616 narrator: "Batman: The Audio Adventures." 2 00:00:06,716 --> 00:00:09,786 [phone ringing] 3 00:00:12,188 --> 00:00:13,456 [answering machine beeps] 4 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:15,091 - You've reached Crutches Lupinsky, 5 00:00:15,191 --> 00:00:16,893 which means you ain't got another bookie 6 00:00:16,959 --> 00:00:18,461 who will still take your calls, you degenerate. 7 00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:20,196 Hey, it's your paycheck, pally. 8 00:00:20,263 --> 00:00:21,764 But don't forget to take your kiddies to the circus 9 00:00:21,864 --> 00:00:23,232 every once in a while, huh? 10 00:00:23,299 --> 00:00:24,801 Don't put that on my conscience. 11 00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:26,969 I'm still taking action on the Kid Lazarus fight 12 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,404 at four-to-three for the Kid. 13 00:00:28,471 --> 00:00:29,972 Barnstormers game is of the board 14 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:32,475 on account of Hobgood's injury and Munson's, 15 00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:34,610 uh, incarceration? 16 00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:36,946 Whatever you wanna call going to Arkham Asylum 17 00:00:37,046 --> 00:00:39,649 semi-voluntarily. I don't know. 18 00:00:39,749 --> 00:00:41,951 Gentlemen, place your bets. [answering machine beeps] 19 00:00:42,051 --> 00:00:43,753 - Hey, Crutches, gimme a nickel on Gaslamps 20 00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,255 to sweep the double-header. I smell a pennant, baby. 21 00:00:46,322 --> 00:00:47,723 Go Gaslamps! 22 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,325 - [answering machine beeps] - Crutches! 23 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,160 I got two bills says Cast Iron Callahan 24 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:52,995 doesn't get through five today. 25 00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:55,998 The man was a bum even before his wife got kidnapped 26 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,900 and I ain't got the patience for it. 27 00:00:57,967 --> 00:00:59,435 - [answering machine beeps] - Hey, what's the money line 28 00:00:59,502 --> 00:01:01,337 in Central City? Yeah? Okay. 29 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:03,973 Hey, Crutches, put three bills on the Demons for me. 30 00:01:04,073 --> 00:01:06,342 And hey, listen, guy I know knows a guy who said 31 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:08,644 word on the street says Catwoman is in some 32 00:01:08,744 --> 00:01:12,615 really hot water--like $9 million worth of hot water. 33 00:01:12,682 --> 00:01:14,784 Heh, do cats like water? I forget. 34 00:01:14,851 --> 00:01:16,819 So listen, you taking any action here? 35 00:01:16,919 --> 00:01:19,288 I got a dime that says the Blind Mice Gang are gonna 36 00:01:19,355 --> 00:01:20,957 be the ones to bag the Cat. 37 00:01:21,023 --> 00:01:22,792 - [answering machine beeps] - Crutches, my man! 38 00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:25,161 I'll take the streak before the 5th inning--two Gs. 39 00:01:25,261 --> 00:01:27,463 And hey, I hear you're taking Catwoman action. 40 00:01:27,530 --> 00:01:29,098 [baby crying] Boy, it's a crowded field. 41 00:01:29,165 --> 00:01:31,033 I like the Sycamore Street Syndicate. 42 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:34,804 They really want it, but give me 500 on the Soup Bone Gang. 43 00:01:34,871 --> 00:01:36,706 It's a long shot, so to sweeten the deal, 44 00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,274 I'll take two-to-one odds. 45 00:01:38,341 --> 00:01:39,775 - [answering machine beeps] - Hey, Crutches, 46 00:01:39,842 --> 00:01:41,878 your hear about this Catwoman thing? 47 00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:43,946 I tell you what. Put my whole bankroll 48 00:01:44,013 --> 00:01:46,949 on Boxer Chow and the Dockyard Dogs. 49 00:01:47,016 --> 00:01:50,353 They got a honey of a score to settle with Miss Whiskers. 50 00:01:50,453 --> 00:01:52,522 - [tape whirring] - Crutches, I got five Gs 51 00:01:52,622 --> 00:01:54,123 says the kitty on Catwoman 52 00:01:54,190 --> 00:01:56,659 is going to Boxer Chow and the Dockyard Dogs. 53 00:01:56,726 --> 00:01:58,327 - [tape whirring] - Crutches, we're talking 54 00:01:58,394 --> 00:02:00,396 Catwoman down here, and I'm hearing nothing 55 00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,398 but Dockyard Dogs. [tape whirring] 56 00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:04,500 - Crutches, what do you got for Dockyard Dogs? 57 00:02:04,567 --> 00:02:06,369 - [tape whirring] - Dockyard Dogs lookin' like 58 00:02:06,469 --> 00:02:08,504 an easy favorite, Crutches. But that ain't all. 59 00:02:08,571 --> 00:02:11,474 A lot of hubbub down at Boxer Chow's joint since early. 60 00:02:11,541 --> 00:02:13,176 My money is smart money, 61 00:02:13,242 --> 00:02:16,846 and smart money says the Cat gets fixed tonight. 62 00:02:16,913 --> 00:02:20,917 narrator: Gotham, a cozy den for wolves that never sleep. 63 00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:24,086 Join us now for another tale of life and death 64 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,422 in Gotham City--March 5th. 65 00:02:26,522 --> 00:02:30,159 With impeccably inconvenient timing, Batman has learned 66 00:02:30,226 --> 00:02:32,728 he must intervene quickly to prevent Two-Face 67 00:02:32,828 --> 00:02:35,398 from undergoing treatment with a dangerous, failed 68 00:02:35,498 --> 00:02:38,367 pharmaceutical experiment called JoyCure. 69 00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:41,237 What he does not yet know is that the administrator 70 00:02:41,337 --> 00:02:43,439 of this dubious care is none other than 71 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:46,742 the depraved drug lord known as the Scarecrow. 72 00:02:46,842 --> 00:02:49,779 While Batman redirects his attention to the rescue 73 00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,514 of his tragic former friend, 74 00:02:51,581 --> 00:02:55,184 the animals of the city prowl unsupervised streets. 75 00:02:55,251 --> 00:02:56,786 [dogs whimpering] 76 00:02:56,886 --> 00:02:58,120 [sighs] 77 00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,689 narrator: On a desolate stretch 78 00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:01,190 of urban nowhere, in the depths 79 00:03:01,257 --> 00:03:02,959 of Gotham's benighted Park Row, 80 00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:05,628 the frantic footfalls of a furious pursuit. 81 00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:06,729 - Ah! [puddle splashes] 82 00:03:06,796 --> 00:03:08,030 narrator: Thundering down 83 00:03:08,097 --> 00:03:09,632 a squalid alley, a snarling riot 84 00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,801 of swinging jowls and flinging spittle, 85 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:14,270 a half dozen prize-winning bull mastiffs 86 00:03:14,370 --> 00:03:17,807 relentlessly run down a notorious neighborhood stray. 87 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:18,941 - [sighs] [thud] 88 00:03:19,041 --> 00:03:20,376 [sirens wailing] Good doggies. 89 00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:21,577 Come on. 90 00:03:21,644 --> 00:03:23,446 I just gave to the humane society. 91 00:03:23,546 --> 00:03:25,615 [dog whimpers] You're making me feel like 92 00:03:25,715 --> 00:03:26,983 an all-day sucker. 93 00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,985 narrator: All together, it's 700 pounds 94 00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:30,786 of imminent canine aggression. 95 00:03:30,886 --> 00:03:32,722 But the four-legged dogs closing in 96 00:03:32,788 --> 00:03:35,224 so quickly behind her are only a portion 97 00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:37,226 of Catwoman's distress this evening. 98 00:03:37,293 --> 00:03:39,228 [laughter] [dogs barking] 99 00:03:39,295 --> 00:03:41,397 There's also the two-legged variety-- 100 00:03:41,464 --> 00:03:45,001 a pair of gang boss Boxer Chow's Dockyard Dogs, 101 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:48,471 swinging sawed-off pool cues and lustily barking orders 102 00:03:48,571 --> 00:03:51,173 - to their frenzied pets. - Go get the cat, Ripper. 103 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:52,742 Where is the Cat, Fang? 104 00:03:52,808 --> 00:03:55,478 - [laughing] - We got you now, Catwoman. 105 00:03:55,578 --> 00:03:58,748 - I bet you'll wish you never crossed Boxer Chow. 106 00:03:58,814 --> 00:04:00,016 [all barking] 107 00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:01,417 narrator: In a pallid light 108 00:04:01,484 --> 00:04:02,752 of a chewing gum advertisement, 109 00:04:02,818 --> 00:04:04,287 - Catwoman stumbles. - [groans] 110 00:04:04,353 --> 00:04:05,988 - [laughs] She's a goner. 111 00:04:06,088 --> 00:04:07,757 narrator: Indeed. One way or another, 112 00:04:07,823 --> 00:04:09,025 the chase ends now. 113 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,026 With a pack of hounds 114 00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,093 closing the distance, 115 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,128 Catwoman heaves up 116 00:04:12,194 --> 00:04:13,195 a manhole cover. 117 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:16,032 - [grunts] - Nice try. 118 00:04:16,132 --> 00:04:19,035 You think them dogs won't follow you into the sewers? 119 00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:22,338 - Into the sewers? Yeah, not in these stockings. 120 00:04:22,438 --> 00:04:24,040 I just need something heavy enough 121 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:26,809 to go through the display case of Fenton's Butcher Shop. 122 00:04:26,876 --> 00:04:27,810 Huh? 123 00:04:27,877 --> 00:04:29,145 - [grunts] [glass shatters] 124 00:04:29,211 --> 00:04:30,379 narrator: And the overstuffed 125 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:31,814 butcher shop display case 126 00:04:31,881 --> 00:04:34,550 disgorges meats of every description. 127 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:38,054 A carnal cascade of cutlets, chops, and filets 128 00:04:38,154 --> 00:04:41,490 amass in a well-marbled mound on the sidewalk below. 129 00:04:41,557 --> 00:04:43,059 - Uh-oh. 130 00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:45,061 narrator: The Dockyard Dogs watch with growing dread 131 00:04:45,161 --> 00:04:47,396 as their leverage over the situation 132 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,166 gorges blissfully on the sudden smorgasbord. 133 00:04:50,232 --> 00:04:52,902 - Now then, as for you little pups, 134 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,503 I don't wanna be the kind of person 135 00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:56,405 who has a hard day at work and then comes home 136 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:57,907 and kicks the dogs. [whip snaps] 137 00:04:58,007 --> 00:05:00,209 So take what's coming to you like bad doggies, 138 00:05:00,309 --> 00:05:02,578 and I promise not to use my boots. 139 00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:03,979 - Oh, crap. - Well put. 140 00:05:04,046 --> 00:05:05,414 [whip snaps] [pool cues fall] 141 00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,316 - Run for it, Bingo! - You said it, Pongo. 142 00:05:07,383 --> 00:05:08,517 Ugh, no. 143 00:05:08,584 --> 00:05:10,519 I'm just not doing any more running. 144 00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:11,887 You ask too much. 145 00:05:11,987 --> 00:05:13,489 - [whip snaps] - [exclaims] 146 00:05:13,556 --> 00:05:15,257 narrator: Catwoman's rawhide lashes forth 147 00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:17,193 and catches one of the fleeing Dogs by the ankle. 148 00:05:17,259 --> 00:05:20,363 - Please, Catwoman, it's a whopper of a payday on ya. 149 00:05:20,429 --> 00:05:21,697 Who wouldn't be tempted? 150 00:05:21,764 --> 00:05:23,599 - Just business, right? - Just business. 151 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,735 So how's about you go easy on me? 152 00:05:25,835 --> 00:05:27,703 - Way ahead of you. I plan to leave you 153 00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:29,872 just barely capable of limping home 154 00:05:29,939 --> 00:05:31,607 to tell your boss what happened. 155 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,342 That price on my head? 156 00:05:33,409 --> 00:05:34,777 Boxer Chow can't afford it. 157 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,178 - Hey, hey! [pummeling ensues] 158 00:05:36,245 --> 00:05:38,180 [grunting] 159 00:05:38,247 --> 00:05:40,282 narrator: A mercifully short thrashing later, 160 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,251 the chastened cur is running home 161 00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:44,053 with his tail between his legs. 162 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,522 - Tell that lousy mutt to keep his distance. 163 00:05:46,589 --> 00:05:48,958 I'm sick of scratching his fleas. 164 00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:50,626 narrator: But from the look of the car barreling 165 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,094 down the street at her, 166 00:05:52,194 --> 00:05:54,263 - Catwoman's night is not over. - Come on. 167 00:05:54,363 --> 00:05:56,098 narrator: Still winded from the long chase, 168 00:05:56,198 --> 00:05:58,968 she has little time to react before the brown sedan 169 00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:00,436 screeches suddenly to a halt. 170 00:06:00,536 --> 00:06:03,606 - Get in. - Vicki Vale, "Gotham Gazette"? 171 00:06:03,706 --> 00:06:06,442 What are you doing this far downtown, Ms. Uptown? 172 00:06:06,542 --> 00:06:08,377 - Looking for you and helping to find you 173 00:06:08,444 --> 00:06:09,745 before Boxer Chow did. 174 00:06:09,812 --> 00:06:11,881 Better late than never. So get in. 175 00:06:11,947 --> 00:06:14,316 - I didn't call a cab. - Look around, Catwoman. 176 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,818 The Dogs chased you deep into 177 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,653 Seventh Street Savages territory. 178 00:06:17,753 --> 00:06:19,288 You really feel like walking? 179 00:06:19,388 --> 00:06:22,758 Lord Harpoon will appreciate your availability. 180 00:06:22,825 --> 00:06:24,093 [car door opens and closes] 181 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,095 - I don't love being seen in this car. 182 00:06:26,162 --> 00:06:27,730 - You better hope you're not seen. 183 00:06:27,797 --> 00:06:29,165 I better hope you're not seen. 184 00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:30,900 I don't think my press card will spare me 185 00:06:30,966 --> 00:06:32,802 from the kind of trouble you're in, Catwoman. 186 00:06:32,902 --> 00:06:34,303 - Trouble? What trouble? 187 00:06:34,403 --> 00:06:37,740 - Boxer Chow, Lord Harpoon, Rat King Cole, 188 00:06:37,807 --> 00:06:39,442 Maximillian Monkeyshines-- 189 00:06:39,508 --> 00:06:41,677 oh, and the entire Thorn Cartel. 190 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,012 I know I'm leaving a lot out, 191 00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,780 but those are at the top of the leaderboard 192 00:06:44,847 --> 00:06:46,649 according to the odds being run by Crutches Lupinsky. 193 00:06:46,749 --> 00:06:49,685 - Crutches is taking bets on my murder? 194 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:52,488 [scoffs] That is a pretty good racket. 195 00:06:52,588 --> 00:06:54,457 Go Crutches. What's the vig? 196 00:06:54,523 --> 00:06:56,625 - Catwoman, you're in serious trouble. 197 00:06:56,692 --> 00:06:58,861 Your business model was always unsustainable, 198 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:01,163 chiseling away at the underworld bit by bit. 199 00:07:01,263 --> 00:07:03,699 Well, this is the cave-in. - Okay. 200 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:06,202 - Now, every last chump you rolled is united 201 00:07:06,302 --> 00:07:08,871 in a competitive effort to see you suffer. 202 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:10,706 - Well, when you put it that way, sure. 203 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,942 - But you're a wordsmith. - So what are you gonna do? 204 00:07:13,008 --> 00:07:14,610 The way I see it, you have one option, 205 00:07:14,677 --> 00:07:16,879 and that's to leave town, lay low. 206 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:19,381 Now, I've got a girlfriend with one of those gorgeous, 207 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,484 ultra-modern Metropolis penthouses. 208 00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:22,885 Metropolis? 209 00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,887 - With a roof garden and the atomic appliances 210 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,489 and a private air taxi dock. 211 00:07:26,555 --> 00:07:28,224 - You could stay until-- - Never. 212 00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:30,893 Could you imagine me in Metropolis? 213 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,628 That place is lousy with-- 214 00:07:32,695 --> 00:07:34,296 - what do you call it? - Decency? 215 00:07:34,363 --> 00:07:37,199 - That or something that smells like it. 216 00:07:37,299 --> 00:07:39,468 No, I'm on a short leash, I'm afraid. 217 00:07:39,535 --> 00:07:42,304 And it doesn't go beyond the Gotham City limits. 218 00:07:42,371 --> 00:07:44,039 Cats shouldn't be on leashes. 219 00:07:44,139 --> 00:07:45,674 So what can you do? Where can you hide? 220 00:07:45,741 --> 00:07:48,077 - Oh, I'm not going to hide. I'll manage. 221 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:50,579 And if I can't, I'll get protection. 222 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,548 - From who? You got one friend, 223 00:07:52,648 --> 00:07:55,251 and I can't protect my morning newspaper from being swiped-- 224 00:07:55,351 --> 00:07:57,553 - From the Santa Priscans. [tires squeal] 225 00:07:57,653 --> 00:07:58,821 No. No way. 226 00:07:58,888 --> 00:08:00,589 The Santa Priscan drug cartels-- 227 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,091 are you insane? 228 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:04,927 Crime isn't just a living in Santa Prisca, Catwoman. 229 00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,395 It's a religion. 230 00:08:06,495 --> 00:08:09,598 It's the way to salvation for a cult of fanatics. 231 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,868 Their foot soldiers are chemically enhanced monsters. 232 00:08:12,935 --> 00:08:15,070 The only sole mercy we have in this hell hole 233 00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:16,505 is the fact that the Santa Priscans 234 00:08:16,572 --> 00:08:18,107 have never set up shop in Gotham City. 235 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,709 - Oh, drive. You made your point. 236 00:08:20,776 --> 00:08:22,177 The very last thing this town needs 237 00:08:22,244 --> 00:08:24,680 is more sharks in the tank. 238 00:08:24,747 --> 00:08:27,049 So when every crook in town is after you, 239 00:08:27,116 --> 00:08:29,451 I guess there's just one person to turn to. 240 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,620 - Thank goodness-- you're calling Batman. 241 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,756 - Ha. He'd love that. 242 00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:36,058 No. When every crook is after you, 243 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:38,627 you throw yourself on the mercy of the king crook, 244 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:41,030 the crook the other crooks are afraid of. 245 00:08:41,096 --> 00:08:44,800 In Gotham City, like it or not, that's the Penguin. 246 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,703 narrator: Oswald Cobblepot seems an unlikely candidate 247 00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:49,572 for humane feline rescue. 248 00:08:49,638 --> 00:08:51,540 What will be his price? 249 00:08:51,607 --> 00:08:54,944 The answer in a future tale of life and death 250 00:08:55,044 --> 00:08:56,445 in Gotham City. 251 00:08:56,545 --> 00:08:57,980 - [radio static] - Wayne Foundation hosting 252 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,582 the International Children's G-- 253 00:08:59,648 --> 00:09:01,617 - [radio static] - Haly's Circus. 254 00:09:01,717 --> 00:09:03,786 Step right up for the grand reopen-- 255 00:09:03,886 --> 00:09:04,920 [radio static] 256 00:09:04,987 --> 00:09:06,989 Fleishacker belts one deep, 257 00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:08,724 but blowing foul, so-- 258 00:09:08,791 --> 00:09:09,925 [radio static] 259 00:09:09,992 --> 00:09:11,660 Come to passion. 260 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,295 [tropical music] Come to Paradise. 261 00:09:13,395 --> 00:09:16,599 Come to the beautiful island of Santa Prisca. 262 00:09:16,665 --> 00:09:20,002 From the pristine white sands of Drowning Dog Beach 263 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,771 to the sparkling shores of Severed Thumb Bay 264 00:09:22,838 --> 00:09:25,841 to the precipitous cliffs of Backstabber Falls, 265 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,344 Santa Prisca is calling to-- 266 00:09:28,444 --> 00:09:30,512 [radio static] 267 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,615 narrator: Gotham, a ceaseless spindle 268 00:09:32,681 --> 00:09:35,584 that collects what winding threads are spun from panic. 269 00:09:35,651 --> 00:09:38,787 Join us now for another tale of life and death 270 00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:40,589 in Gotham City. 271 00:09:40,656 --> 00:09:42,791 This landscape is pitted and scarred 272 00:09:42,858 --> 00:09:44,526 from years of open warfare. 273 00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:46,495 As far as the eye can see, 274 00:09:46,595 --> 00:09:49,531 the scorched destruction of a bitter stalemate. 275 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:52,368 This is the inside of a man's mind, 276 00:09:52,468 --> 00:09:54,603 a dwelling built for a single occupant 277 00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,872 that nevertheless houses two. 278 00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,173 But tonight, for once, 279 00:09:58,273 --> 00:09:59,875 these unbearably tight confines 280 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,111 don't echo with the clashes of conflict. 281 00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:03,879 Tonight, after a generous dose 282 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:06,715 of a dubious decoction known as JoyCure, 283 00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,717 an altogether new sound is heard 284 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,053 in the shockingly peaceful precincts 285 00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:14,223 of the mind of the man known as Two-Face. 286 00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:16,125 - [as the Other] Hey. Hey, pretty boy. 287 00:10:16,191 --> 00:10:18,160 [as Harvey] Oh, what? 288 00:10:18,227 --> 00:10:19,461 Is--is something wrong? 289 00:10:19,528 --> 00:10:21,130 - [as the Other] No, that-- 290 00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:23,232 that screwy sound. 291 00:10:23,332 --> 00:10:25,367 - Do you-- - [as Harvey] Yes. 292 00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:27,469 Clear as ringing crystal. 293 00:10:27,536 --> 00:10:29,138 - [as the Other] [laughing] Oh, good. 294 00:10:29,204 --> 00:10:32,908 Was worried we lost track of the whole bag of marbles. 295 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:35,010 - [as Harvey] No, that-- that's not what's happening. 296 00:10:35,077 --> 00:10:37,479 Doctor Crane? Are you still there? 297 00:10:37,546 --> 00:10:39,748 Yes. I'm right here, Harvey. 298 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:42,084 You can leave your blindfold on until I tell you 299 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,585 to you remove it, please. 300 00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,655 - [as Harvey] Something's happening. 301 00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:50,559 What--what is that sound we're hearing? 302 00:10:50,659 --> 00:10:52,761 - [as the Other] Never heard it before. 303 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,762 Of course you haven't. 304 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,765 That's harmony, Two-Face. 305 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,734 You've never known a moment of it 306 00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:03,539 in your entire tortured existence until now. 307 00:11:03,605 --> 00:11:05,207 - [as the Other]: Harm... - [as Harvey] Ony? 308 00:11:05,274 --> 00:11:08,343 - It's when two voices become one. 309 00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:09,712 - [as Two-Face] Where is it? 310 00:11:09,778 --> 00:11:11,447 It's all of you, Harvey. 311 00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:14,450 - [as the Other] It's--it's-- 312 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,285 I don't know how ya say it. 313 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:18,454 - It's... - [as Harvey] Empyrean. 314 00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:21,223 [as the Other] Yeah, exactly. 315 00:11:21,290 --> 00:11:22,624 Thanks, college boy. 316 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,560 - Didn't I tell you it would be? 317 00:11:24,626 --> 00:11:27,196 The JoyCure has brought peace at last 318 00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:30,099 to your long inner conflict. 319 00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:32,701 You simply must trust me. 320 00:11:32,768 --> 00:11:34,436 Remember, we talked about trust 321 00:11:34,536 --> 00:11:37,372 when you agreed to put that blindfold on for me? 322 00:11:37,439 --> 00:11:40,709 - [as Harvey] You--you said to cooperate. 323 00:11:40,776 --> 00:11:41,744 We cooperated. 324 00:11:41,810 --> 00:11:43,045 Yes, Harvey. 325 00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:44,813 Cooperation, that's exactly 326 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,982 what today's lesson is all about. 327 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:49,618 And you have cooperated with everything I have asked 328 00:11:49,718 --> 00:11:53,789 of you, ever since I gave you your first dose of JoyCure. 329 00:11:53,889 --> 00:11:56,992 But cooperating with me is easy. 330 00:11:57,092 --> 00:12:00,796 I want you to cooperate with you. 331 00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:02,231 - [as Two-Face] We don't follow you, doc. 332 00:12:02,297 --> 00:12:04,466 - We have oh so many ways we wage war 333 00:12:04,566 --> 00:12:06,668 within ourselves every day. 334 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:10,072 You're just an unusually extreme case. 335 00:12:10,139 --> 00:12:13,809 It's the influence of fear. 336 00:12:13,909 --> 00:12:17,513 When what we know is false coincides with 337 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,449 what we fear is true, 338 00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:23,786 that's a conflict and there are casualties. 339 00:12:23,852 --> 00:12:27,022 - [as the Other] Fear? Sure. That figures. 340 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,191 For example, you told me 341 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:32,761 that you have a horror of high places. 342 00:12:32,828 --> 00:12:34,696 - Is that right? - [as the Other] Heights? 343 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:35,864 We hate 'em. 344 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,933 - [as Harvey] Severe ac--uh, 345 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,336 acrophobia, yes, yes. 346 00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:43,038 Acrophobia. 347 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,641 An irrational fear of heights, they say. 348 00:12:45,707 --> 00:12:46,975 Don't they? [wind whistling] 349 00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:48,377 Well, Harvey, 350 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:51,446 I am going to take off your blindfold now, 351 00:12:51,513 --> 00:12:53,315 and then I'd like you to tell me 352 00:12:53,382 --> 00:12:58,554 how irrational you believe your fear of high places to be. 353 00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:00,522 narrator: As the heavy black silk falls, 354 00:13:00,622 --> 00:13:03,325 the mismatched eyes of Two-Face suddenly behold 355 00:13:03,392 --> 00:13:05,460 the vertiginous view from a narrow ledge 356 00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:08,163 outside the window of a towering skyscraper. 357 00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:10,866 [car horns honk] Two-Face teeters unsteadily, 358 00:13:10,966 --> 00:13:13,402 blinking in disbelief. 359 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:15,037 - [Two-Face grunts] - Yes, Harvey. 360 00:13:15,137 --> 00:13:18,974 Quite a high place you find yourself in, isn't it? 361 00:13:19,041 --> 00:13:20,242 Tell me, how do you feel? 362 00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:23,145 - [as Harvey] We--we feel-- 363 00:13:23,212 --> 00:13:25,080 we--wha... 364 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,382 [wind whistling] 365 00:13:27,482 --> 00:13:29,251 Wonderful. 366 00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,187 [laughs] 367 00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:34,156 [light jazz music] 368 00:13:34,223 --> 00:13:37,559 - [as the Other] Whoo, would you get a load of that view? 369 00:13:37,659 --> 00:13:38,760 Hey, doc. 370 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,430 Come on out here and lamp this scene. 371 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,665 - Thank you. I'll--I'll stay here inside, 372 00:13:43,732 --> 00:13:44,666 where it's safe. 373 00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:46,435 You realize you are one step 374 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:49,004 and 100 feet from the pavement below? 375 00:13:49,071 --> 00:13:50,105 - [as Two-Face] Yep. 376 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,840 Your numbers check out, doc. 377 00:13:51,907 --> 00:13:53,709 - And your crippling fear of heights? 378 00:13:53,775 --> 00:13:55,110 - [as Harvey] [laughing] I don't understand it. 379 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:58,413 We--we've always hated high places, 380 00:13:58,513 --> 00:14:00,449 but today... 381 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:03,018 - [as the Other] Top of the world, Ma! 382 00:14:03,085 --> 00:14:04,786 - [as Harvey] Bet you can see the courthouse from here 383 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:09,124 if we stand on our tippy-toes. 384 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:11,526 Oh, do be careful, Harvey. 385 00:14:11,593 --> 00:14:14,129 - [as Two-Face] [laughs] Yep. 386 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:17,633 There she is. Magnificent. 387 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:21,203 Doctor, there's no fear. 388 00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:22,738 Is your drug doing this? 389 00:14:22,804 --> 00:14:25,807 - Fear is a furnace which must be fed. 390 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:30,145 What I have done is empty your mental coal tinder. 391 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,281 In fact, you might even dance a jig 392 00:14:32,381 --> 00:14:34,750 on that narrow ledge if I asked you to. 393 00:14:34,816 --> 00:14:37,653 - [as Harvey] Are you asking us to dance, doctor? 394 00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:40,255 - [as the Other] What luck! We been takin' lessons. 395 00:14:40,322 --> 00:14:42,658 narrator: The opening steps of a tango rain down 396 00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:45,594 upon the narrow ledge at a delirious tempo. 397 00:14:45,661 --> 00:14:47,462 - [as the Other] How's this for hoofin'? 398 00:14:47,562 --> 00:14:49,064 Oh, my! 399 00:14:49,131 --> 00:14:51,333 Now you really must be careful. 400 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,468 - [as Two-Face] You ain't seen nothin' yet. 401 00:14:53,568 --> 00:14:55,304 [shoes clicking faster] 402 00:14:55,404 --> 00:14:57,506 Bravo! Bravissimo. 403 00:14:57,606 --> 00:15:00,575 Not a hint of terror in your eyes. 404 00:15:00,642 --> 00:15:02,177 You see, Two-Face, 405 00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:06,281 your two sides united are a dauntless bulwark 406 00:15:06,348 --> 00:15:08,016 to petty fears. 407 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:11,753 Why, you would walk to the end of that flagpole 408 00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:13,956 if I asked you to, I bet. 409 00:15:14,022 --> 00:15:15,357 - [as Two-Face] The flagpole? 410 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,292 narrator: A 15-foot long flagpole 411 00:15:17,359 --> 00:15:19,494 extends out into space like the shaft 412 00:15:19,594 --> 00:15:21,363 of a colossal wayward arrow 413 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,498 fired into the building's upper stories. 414 00:15:23,598 --> 00:15:25,834 - Yes, I want you to show me 415 00:15:25,934 --> 00:15:29,805 you can walk it like a tightrope, like a plank. 416 00:15:29,871 --> 00:15:31,540 - [as Two-Face] Looks pretty narrow. 417 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:32,975 It's plenty wide enough. 418 00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:35,610 Why, it's just a matter of balance. 419 00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:37,946 I'm sure Two-Face knows a thing or two 420 00:15:38,013 --> 00:15:40,315 about the need for balance. 421 00:15:40,382 --> 00:15:42,017 Walk to the very end. 422 00:15:42,117 --> 00:15:43,051 [bird wings flutters] 423 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,619 - [as Two-Face] Sure, doc. 424 00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:46,221 Sounds good to us. 425 00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,556 [creaking] 426 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,692 [grunting] 427 00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,828 How's this, doc? 428 00:15:52,894 --> 00:15:54,329 Ta-da. 429 00:15:54,396 --> 00:15:56,732 - Out to the very end of the pole! 430 00:15:56,832 --> 00:15:58,967 Congratulations, Harvey. 431 00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:01,737 - [as the Other] [laughs] Whoo! 432 00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:04,673 No--nothing to i--it, doc. 433 00:16:04,740 --> 00:16:07,242 Like you said, it's all about balance. 434 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,912 - Now this next part is very dangerous. 435 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,414 When you're ready, 436 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:16,151 turn around and come back. 437 00:16:16,218 --> 00:16:19,421 - [as Two-Face] What do you mean when we're ready? 438 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:22,557 - Simply discuss it amongst yourselves. 439 00:16:22,657 --> 00:16:26,061 When you mutually decide you want to come in, 440 00:16:26,161 --> 00:16:29,898 turn either to your left, or alternately, 441 00:16:29,998 --> 00:16:32,868 turn to your right and come back. 442 00:16:32,934 --> 00:16:34,936 - [as Two-Face] Hold up! Hold up! 443 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,271 Discuss it. 444 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,573 Either left or right. 445 00:16:38,673 --> 00:16:39,875 Just tell us which one. 446 00:16:39,941 --> 00:16:41,410 I'm not going to, Harvey. 447 00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:43,779 You're gonna have to decide. 448 00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,614 [as Harvey] Okay. You decide. 449 00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:47,682 - [as the Other] Oh, not me. You pick. 450 00:16:47,749 --> 00:16:51,019 - [as Harvey] No, no. I'm insisting you choose. 451 00:16:51,086 --> 00:16:52,554 [as the Other] I pass. 452 00:16:52,621 --> 00:16:54,089 Pass. You do it. 453 00:16:54,189 --> 00:16:56,191 Come on, Harvey. 454 00:16:56,258 --> 00:16:58,794 Turn right or turn left. 455 00:16:58,894 --> 00:17:01,063 Then once you've turned, do you lead with 456 00:17:01,129 --> 00:17:03,198 your left foot or your right? 457 00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:04,232 The choice is yours. 458 00:17:04,299 --> 00:17:05,734 - [Two-Face grimaces] 459 00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:08,970 - Do you walk heel to toe or toe to heel, Harvey? 460 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:11,306 So many choices to make. 461 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:14,142 Ah, but you're without your coin. 462 00:17:14,242 --> 00:17:15,477 I'd forgotten. 463 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,912 - [as Two-Face] Doctor, what? 464 00:17:16,978 --> 00:17:17,979 Please help me! 465 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,882 - I'm so--so-- - Afraid! 466 00:17:20,949 --> 00:17:23,785 Yes! And isn't it fascinating? 467 00:17:23,885 --> 00:17:27,823 The JoyCure is a miracle at curing everyday phobias, 468 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:31,726 like your fear of heights, but it reacts very badly 469 00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:35,831 to the kind of serious issues you have, Harvey. 470 00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:39,267 Your real fear isn't high places. 471 00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:41,670 The fear you're feeling right now? 472 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:44,673 That's the fear that defines you, Harvey-- 473 00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:47,843 the fear of having to make a decision, 474 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:50,946 any decision, for yourself. 475 00:17:51,012 --> 00:17:54,182 No coin. No counsel. 476 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:55,517 Just the two of you. 477 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:56,618 - [as Two-Face] Aah! No, please! 478 00:17:56,685 --> 00:17:58,120 Please help me, doctor! 479 00:17:58,186 --> 00:17:59,521 Tell me what to do. 480 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,623 - I'll do whatever you say. - Careful, careful! 481 00:18:01,690 --> 00:18:02,924 You're slipping! 482 00:18:02,991 --> 00:18:05,026 Did you know a baby's first instinct 483 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,328 is a fear of falling? 484 00:18:06,428 --> 00:18:08,697 I would love to have been involved 485 00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,032 in conducting those experiments. 486 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,367 - [as Two-Face] I'll kill you. 487 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:13,969 You said "I!" 488 00:18:14,035 --> 00:18:15,537 That's a breakthrough! 489 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,039 One of you is taking charge. 490 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,208 I couldn't tell who spoke though. 491 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,710 - Would you mind? - [as Two-Face] Please, please. 492 00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:23,979 I--I-- oh, I can't. 493 00:18:24,045 --> 00:18:25,380 - Hold on. - Come on now. 494 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,483 You simply need to agree upon a strategy 495 00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:30,051 before it's too late. 496 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,386 [tense music] 497 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:33,221 - [intercom beeps] - Doctor Crane? 498 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,690 I know you said you didn't want to be disturbed, but-- 499 00:18:35,790 --> 00:18:37,292 Not now, Miss Gold! 500 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,895 - Um, well, I'm just so sorry to, um-- 501 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:42,164 - oh, I know I'm interrupting. - Yes, what is it, Miss Gold? 502 00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:44,166 I'm in a session with a patient. 503 00:18:44,232 --> 00:18:45,734 - Aah! - I know, doctor, but, um, 504 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,802 you have an important call. It's, um-- 505 00:18:47,869 --> 00:18:50,205 Bruce Wayne is on the phone. 506 00:18:50,305 --> 00:18:51,673 Bruce Wayne? 507 00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:52,874 What in the vault of heaven 508 00:18:52,974 --> 00:18:54,242 do I have to say to Bruce Wayne? 509 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,877 I don't know Bruce Wayne. 510 00:18:55,977 --> 00:18:57,979 - Tell him I'm busy. - But doctor, I really think 511 00:18:58,046 --> 00:18:59,814 you're gonna wanna take this call. 512 00:18:59,881 --> 00:19:02,217 Mr. Wayne says he needs your help urgently. 513 00:19:02,317 --> 00:19:05,554 - Oh, and what, pray, is the urgent affliction? 514 00:19:05,654 --> 00:19:08,557 Doesn't he realize you don't seek psychiatric care 515 00:19:08,657 --> 00:19:09,758 for tennis elbow? 516 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:10,926 - Sir, he, um--what he said, 517 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,328 um--Dr. Crane, um-- 518 00:19:13,395 --> 00:19:15,330 Bruce Wayne thinks he's Batman. 519 00:19:15,397 --> 00:19:18,166 narrator: Dr. Crane's eyes widen to their limit. 520 00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:19,935 - Doctor-- - Hold... 521 00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:23,505 all my other calls today, Miss Gold. 522 00:19:23,572 --> 00:19:25,373 In actuality, this time. 523 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,009 Tell Mr. Wayne I will meet with him at the clinic 524 00:19:28,076 --> 00:19:29,678 in one hour. 525 00:19:29,744 --> 00:19:31,680 - And, uh, Harvey? - [as Two-Face] Yeah? 526 00:19:31,746 --> 00:19:33,048 - Good work today. - [exclaims] 527 00:19:33,114 --> 00:19:34,849 - Let's get you back home to Penguin. 528 00:19:34,916 --> 00:19:36,851 - [as Two-Face] [grunts] - I think we can pick this up 529 00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:38,753 again at our next appointment. 530 00:19:38,853 --> 00:19:40,055 I'd just like to say, 531 00:19:40,121 --> 00:19:42,624 you are making excellent progress. 532 00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:45,193 narrator: And so Harvey Dent is spared the effects 533 00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:48,363 of gravity, but the pull of something invisible 534 00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,465 and inexorable waxes on. 535 00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:55,403 These are the physics of life and death in Gotham City. 536 00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:58,740 - This Thursday night, live from Maxie Zeus' 537 00:19:58,807 --> 00:20:00,775 fabulous Gotham City Olympus, 538 00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:03,578 see divine perfection descend from the pantheon 539 00:20:03,645 --> 00:20:08,617 to compete in the 53rd annual Miss Gotham City Pageant. 540 00:20:08,717 --> 00:20:13,154 - ♪ She's our own hometown goddess ♪ 541 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:17,659 ♪ Inoffensive and modest ♪ 542 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:22,731 ♪ She's Miss Gotham City ♪ 543 00:20:22,797 --> 00:20:26,434 - See 28 of the most beautiful daughters of Mother Gotham 544 00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:28,003 compete for the crown 545 00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:31,072 in the elegant evening wear competition. 546 00:20:31,139 --> 00:20:32,173 [polite applause] 547 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,476 The swimsuit competition. 548 00:20:34,576 --> 00:20:36,011 [rowdy cheers and applause] 549 00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:37,512 All right, settle down, ya animals. 550 00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:41,683 And the, uh, many wonderful surprises 551 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:44,319 of the talent competition. 552 00:20:44,419 --> 00:20:47,822 - [yodeling] [tap shoes clicking] 553 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,526 [sparse applause] 554 00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:53,295 - Okay, and what exactly have you accomplished 555 00:20:53,361 --> 00:20:54,863 in your life, ya wise guys? 556 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,699 That's the 53rd annual Miss Gotham Pageant, 557 00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:00,302 live from the Gotham City Olympus. 558 00:21:00,368 --> 00:21:04,539 - ♪ Gorgeous and witty and judged by committee ♪ 559 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:10,011 ♪ She's Miss Gotham City ♪ 560 00:21:11,379 --> 00:21:13,782 narrator: Gotham, a rotting wreck of ambition 561 00:21:13,848 --> 00:21:15,784 foundered on a reef of greed. 562 00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:19,554 Join us once again for a tale of life and death 563 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,723 in Gotham City. 564 00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:25,327 The office of Doctor Jonathan Crane, psychiatrist. 565 00:21:25,393 --> 00:21:27,329 The couch in this room has been host to 566 00:21:27,395 --> 00:21:29,698 a dazzling array of peculiar minds. 567 00:21:29,798 --> 00:21:32,033 Bruce Wayne's is merely the latest. 568 00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:33,668 Doctor, I need your help. 569 00:21:33,735 --> 00:21:37,205 - It would seem you certainly do, Mr. Wayne, 570 00:21:37,305 --> 00:21:39,741 and urgently, from the look of it. 571 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:43,411 Your intake papers are quite a read. 572 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:47,515 Let's see. Under occupation you wrote, 573 00:21:47,582 --> 00:21:49,584 "I am vengeance." 574 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:53,054 And under marital status you wrote, 575 00:21:53,154 --> 00:21:54,522 "I am the night." 576 00:21:54,589 --> 00:21:55,824 - Yes, well-- 577 00:21:55,890 --> 00:21:59,027 - Under reason for visit you've written, 578 00:21:59,094 --> 00:22:03,832 "So that evildoers everywhere will taste cold justice." 579 00:22:03,898 --> 00:22:06,701 [chuckling] Yes, yes, indeed. 580 00:22:06,768 --> 00:22:09,704 Help is exactly what you need 581 00:22:09,771 --> 00:22:12,073 and badly, Mr. Wayne. 582 00:22:12,173 --> 00:22:16,277 - You need help concocting a lie. - I'm sorry? 583 00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:18,847 - You don't think you're Batman. 584 00:22:18,913 --> 00:22:21,683 You're pretending to think you are Batman, 585 00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:25,120 and the ruse is painfully transparent. 586 00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:27,122 This is just the kind of childish fantasy 587 00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:29,691 I'd expect from someone with your background-- 588 00:22:29,758 --> 00:22:32,293 idle and overeducated. 589 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,396 Listen to this... [laughs] You wrote, 590 00:22:34,462 --> 00:22:39,467 "Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot." 591 00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:40,635 [laughs] 592 00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:43,805 That simply can't be 593 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:45,807 how the real Batman talks, 594 00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:48,810 and you know that, don't you? 595 00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:51,446 You've met him, haven't you? 596 00:22:51,546 --> 00:22:54,382 More than once, as I recall. 597 00:22:54,449 --> 00:22:56,918 I bet he impressed you, didn't he? 598 00:22:56,985 --> 00:22:58,420 - Doctor, this isn't-- - Ah. 599 00:22:58,486 --> 00:23:01,990 Now a diagnosis comes into view, Mr. Wayne. 600 00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:06,728 You're obsessed with this daring mystery man, 601 00:23:06,795 --> 00:23:07,962 aren't you? 602 00:23:08,062 --> 00:23:09,330 You met him a few times 603 00:23:09,431 --> 00:23:11,399 and you probably think you're friends. 604 00:23:11,466 --> 00:23:13,401 - Doctor-- - A word of advice, Mr. Wayne, 605 00:23:13,468 --> 00:23:17,105 never match wits with someone trained in deduction. 606 00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:20,842 You reveal so much more than you think you do. 607 00:23:20,942 --> 00:23:23,077 - Is that so? - You're clearly in no need 608 00:23:23,144 --> 00:23:24,946 of medical attention. 609 00:23:25,013 --> 00:23:26,581 As for what provoked you 610 00:23:26,648 --> 00:23:29,784 to concoct this duplicitous scheme, 611 00:23:29,851 --> 00:23:34,589 it frankly does not arouse my professional interest, 612 00:23:34,656 --> 00:23:35,990 but I'll make a referral. 613 00:23:36,090 --> 00:23:38,326 Now get out. 614 00:23:38,426 --> 00:23:40,528 You've wasted enough of my time. 615 00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,263 Okay, you got me. 616 00:23:42,330 --> 00:23:43,832 You're impossible to get ahold of, 617 00:23:43,932 --> 00:23:47,669 so I adopted an aggressive acquisition strategy. 618 00:23:47,769 --> 00:23:50,538 - Aha! There's the tedious boardroom jargon 619 00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:51,940 that's your native tongue. 620 00:23:52,006 --> 00:23:53,475 - Doctor, I'll get right to the point. 621 00:23:53,541 --> 00:23:55,043 I know you're treating Harvey Dent 622 00:23:55,143 --> 00:23:57,045 at the behest of Oswald Cobblepot. 623 00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,379 Ah, Harvey Dent. 624 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,448 - Harvey is my friend, and if you believe 625 00:24:00,515 --> 00:24:02,183 he has a chance at rehabilitation, 626 00:24:02,283 --> 00:24:05,720 I want it to be in a loving and supportive environment. 627 00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:08,556 Oswald Cobblepot does not provide that. 628 00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:11,059 I want you to transfer care over to me. 629 00:24:11,159 --> 00:24:13,528 - I won't ask you how you know these things. 630 00:24:13,628 --> 00:24:16,664 Information is a commodity in this city 631 00:24:16,731 --> 00:24:19,901 and all kinds of treasures are within your means, 632 00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:23,972 one would imagine, but really, you're not an utter naif. 633 00:24:24,038 --> 00:24:25,907 You must know, 634 00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:29,544 if I did, for some unfathomable reason, 635 00:24:29,644 --> 00:24:31,079 give you Mr. Dent, 636 00:24:31,179 --> 00:24:34,516 Penguin would crush you into pâté grand-mère. 637 00:24:34,582 --> 00:24:37,252 - He'll try, but Harvey can make my custodianship 638 00:24:37,352 --> 00:24:38,987 - of him legal. - Ah, yes. 639 00:24:39,053 --> 00:24:42,223 The celebrated legal skills of your friend, 640 00:24:42,323 --> 00:24:45,226 the erstwhile district attorney, Harvey Dent, 641 00:24:45,326 --> 00:24:49,831 another powerful crimefighting figure you admire. 642 00:24:49,898 --> 00:24:51,232 And don't I recall, 643 00:24:51,332 --> 00:24:53,935 you're also on a first-name basis 644 00:24:54,035 --> 00:24:55,436 with Commissioner Gordon? 645 00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:58,907 Do we need to talk about a law enforcement fixation? 646 00:24:59,007 --> 00:25:00,608 - We're talking about Harvey, doctor. 647 00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,176 Oh, don't get me wrong. 648 00:25:02,243 --> 00:25:05,747 You've irritated me with your crude deception, 649 00:25:05,847 --> 00:25:09,751 but you would be a fascinating case to study. 650 00:25:09,851 --> 00:25:13,855 The real source of your obsession is obvious, 651 00:25:13,922 --> 00:25:14,756 isn't it? 652 00:25:14,856 --> 00:25:16,691 Look around my office. 653 00:25:16,758 --> 00:25:19,360 Do you like my choice of décor? 654 00:25:19,427 --> 00:25:20,562 What do you see? 655 00:25:20,628 --> 00:25:22,297 - You collect old movie posters. 656 00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:23,565 Yes. 657 00:25:23,631 --> 00:25:25,466 I am a collector. 658 00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,135 But to be more precise, 659 00:25:27,235 --> 00:25:32,640 I collect old Argus Studios horror movie posters. 660 00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:36,978 I confess I am an unabashed fan of the creature features. 661 00:25:37,078 --> 00:25:38,713 You see, when I was a very little boy, 662 00:25:38,780 --> 00:25:41,783 I was taken to the movie matinée, 663 00:25:41,883 --> 00:25:43,818 a classic chiller. 664 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:47,288 Any concern that I might be too tender an age 665 00:25:47,388 --> 00:25:51,326 for such fare was utterly unfounded. 666 00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:53,328 I wasn't scared. 667 00:25:53,428 --> 00:25:55,129 I was fascinated, 668 00:25:55,229 --> 00:25:57,298 not by the film, 669 00:25:57,398 --> 00:25:58,833 but by the audience. 670 00:25:58,933 --> 00:26:00,335 [soft mysterious music] 671 00:26:00,435 --> 00:26:03,438 I simply couldn't believe it. 672 00:26:03,504 --> 00:26:07,842 This crowd of people was paying money 673 00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:10,411 to suffer fear. 674 00:26:10,478 --> 00:26:13,748 I became a habitue of the late, late show. 675 00:26:13,815 --> 00:26:17,018 My absolute favorite, of course, 676 00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:21,289 the maestro, the great Basil Karlo, 677 00:26:21,356 --> 00:26:25,860 man of a thousand faces-- all of them hideous. 678 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,764 Now that was a man who made you beg him 679 00:26:29,831 --> 00:26:31,466 to frighten you, 680 00:26:31,532 --> 00:26:35,703 and I find that paradox intoxicating. 681 00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:39,874 Now, you went to the movies when you were a little boy too, 682 00:26:39,974 --> 00:26:42,110 didn't you, Bruce? 683 00:26:42,176 --> 00:26:46,147 That was a pretty memorable night, wasn't it? 684 00:26:46,214 --> 00:26:49,484 Or perhaps you've suppressed the memories. 685 00:26:49,550 --> 00:26:51,019 [projector clicking] 686 00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,389 What do the movies make you think of, Bruce? 687 00:26:54,489 --> 00:26:56,157 [gunshot] [woman screams] 688 00:26:56,224 --> 00:26:58,359 Is that a subject you'd care to talk about? 689 00:26:58,459 --> 00:27:01,229 - Doctor Crane-- - A mother, a father, 690 00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:05,233 and their loving son out to see a movie. 691 00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:07,735 Was that your last happy memory, Bruce? 692 00:27:07,835 --> 00:27:09,904 - Doctor Crane, I'm here to make you an offer. 693 00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:11,973 - [laughs] You have nothing I want. 694 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,808 - I have grant money beyond any you-- 695 00:27:13,875 --> 00:27:16,411 - [laughs] Grant money? 696 00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:19,714 Is that the only tool in your kit? 697 00:27:19,814 --> 00:27:22,216 - Would you like tenure? Name the university, I have-- 698 00:27:22,316 --> 00:27:23,584 Oh, please stop. 699 00:27:23,685 --> 00:27:26,020 This is ritual humiliation. 700 00:27:26,087 --> 00:27:29,524 - I have a copy of Basil Karlo's last film. 701 00:27:29,590 --> 00:27:31,025 What? What did you say? 702 00:27:31,092 --> 00:27:34,395 - I said I have a copy of "The Second Skin." 703 00:27:34,495 --> 00:27:36,831 - There are no copies of "The Second Skin." 704 00:27:36,898 --> 00:27:38,900 They were all destroyed decades ago. 705 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,902 - Oh, so you know it. You are a fan. 706 00:27:41,002 --> 00:27:42,437 A "fan"? 707 00:27:42,537 --> 00:27:46,240 That film is a legendary lost masterwork, 708 00:27:46,340 --> 00:27:47,875 the Holy Grail. 709 00:27:47,942 --> 00:27:50,011 - I just know it's the film where Basil Karlo committed 710 00:27:50,078 --> 00:27:52,513 his real life crimes. 711 00:27:52,580 --> 00:27:54,115 I hope mine is the only one. 712 00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:56,217 It's said to be dangerous to the suggestible. 713 00:27:56,284 --> 00:27:57,752 How do you have this? 714 00:27:57,852 --> 00:28:00,054 - All kinds of treasures are within my means, 715 00:28:00,121 --> 00:28:01,589 one would imagine. 716 00:28:01,689 --> 00:28:03,224 - It--but-- 717 00:28:03,291 --> 00:28:08,362 "The Second Skin" isn't just some cinema obscurity. 718 00:28:08,429 --> 00:28:13,634 It--it wasn't just avant-garde, subliminal editing. 719 00:28:13,735 --> 00:28:18,239 It was conceived to be a flawless simulation 720 00:28:18,306 --> 00:28:20,208 of violent madness. 721 00:28:20,274 --> 00:28:22,310 It is a masterpiece. 722 00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:24,912 - They say your masterpiece is an instructional film 723 00:28:24,979 --> 00:28:26,481 on how to be a psychopath. 724 00:28:26,581 --> 00:28:29,417 My copy was recently found in an unrelated purchase 725 00:28:29,484 --> 00:28:30,985 of vintage film stock, 726 00:28:31,085 --> 00:28:33,287 and I've been advised to have it destroyed. 727 00:28:33,387 --> 00:28:34,722 - [gasps] - But if it's as unique 728 00:28:34,789 --> 00:28:36,891 as you say it is, I thought there might be 729 00:28:36,958 --> 00:28:39,327 some value in clinical analysis. 730 00:28:39,427 --> 00:28:41,162 You could lead that project. 731 00:28:41,262 --> 00:28:42,730 Just give me Harvey. 732 00:28:42,797 --> 00:28:44,932 - Even if I did, you won't recognize him. 733 00:28:44,999 --> 00:28:46,400 Whatever he was before, 734 00:28:46,467 --> 00:28:49,637 he is now a violent criminal to his core. 735 00:28:49,737 --> 00:28:52,740 Even the element of his persona which is most recognizable 736 00:28:52,807 --> 00:28:56,177 to you as your former friend has given his life entirely 737 00:28:56,277 --> 00:28:58,746 - to a pursuit of infamy. - Let me worry about that. 738 00:28:58,813 --> 00:29:00,915 - And this notional kidnapping-- 739 00:29:00,982 --> 00:29:03,651 how do you expect to steal something precious 740 00:29:03,751 --> 00:29:05,019 from the Penguin? 741 00:29:05,119 --> 00:29:06,687 I can assist you from the inside, 742 00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:11,192 but Penguin has Two-Face under constant armed guard. 743 00:29:11,292 --> 00:29:13,427 The cream of his casino security. 744 00:29:13,494 --> 00:29:15,530 - You just do your part from the inside 745 00:29:15,630 --> 00:29:17,999 as you say, and as for the rest, 746 00:29:18,099 --> 00:29:19,667 well, that's the easy part. 747 00:29:19,767 --> 00:29:22,103 I'll just call in a favor from a friend. 748 00:29:22,170 --> 00:29:25,039 - And what friend of yours is up to the task? 749 00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:26,707 Who else, doctor? 750 00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:28,509 My good friend, the Batman. 751 00:29:28,609 --> 00:29:30,478 narrator: Rescue is at hand for Two-Face. 752 00:29:30,545 --> 00:29:34,215 But can there be any liberty from the prison of his mind? 753 00:29:34,315 --> 00:29:35,716 And what of Doctor Crane? 754 00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:37,885 His session with Bruce Wayne concluded, 755 00:29:37,985 --> 00:29:41,522 what dread price will he claim as his hourly rate? 756 00:29:41,622 --> 00:29:42,957 The reek of fear-- 757 00:29:43,024 --> 00:29:45,059 it hangs heavy over life and death 758 00:29:45,159 --> 00:29:46,694 in Gotham City. 759 00:29:46,794 --> 00:29:48,896 To be continued. 760 00:29:48,996 --> 00:29:50,364 [jazz music] 761 00:29:50,464 --> 00:29:52,700 "Batman: The Audio Adventures," 762 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,703 written and directed by Dennis McNicholas. 763 00:29:55,803 --> 00:29:59,140 Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger. 764 00:29:59,207 --> 00:30:01,375 Based on characters from DC. 765 00:30:01,475 --> 00:30:04,245 With performances by Jeffrey Wright, 766 00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:07,315 Aristotle Athari, Ike Barinholtz, 767 00:30:07,381 --> 00:30:10,318 Rosario Dawson, Steve Higgins, 768 00:30:10,384 --> 00:30:13,020 Toby Huss, Gillian Jacobs, 769 00:30:13,087 --> 00:30:15,756 John Leguizamo, Dennis McNicholas. 770 00:30:15,857 --> 00:30:18,526 Tim Meadows, Seth Meyers, 771 00:30:18,593 --> 00:30:21,229 Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell, 772 00:30:21,329 --> 00:30:23,731 Katie Rich, Ben Rogers, 773 00:30:23,831 --> 00:30:26,367 Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz, 774 00:30:26,434 --> 00:30:28,903 Brooke Shields, Brent Spiner, 775 00:30:29,003 --> 00:30:31,339 Kenan Thompson, Alan Tudyk, 776 00:30:31,405 --> 00:30:34,876 Bradley Whitford, Melissa Villaseñor, 777 00:30:34,942 --> 00:30:37,578 Eli Brueggemann, Doug Bossi, 778 00:30:37,678 --> 00:30:40,448 Ranjani Brow, Chris Gibney, 779 00:30:40,548 --> 00:30:43,017 Julie Larson, Erica Phillips, 780 00:30:43,084 --> 00:30:45,586 Rosie Phillips, Tony Phillips, 781 00:30:45,686 --> 00:30:48,122 Zoey Phillips, Deirdre Quinn, 782 00:30:48,222 --> 00:30:49,757 Robbie Wyckoff. 783 00:30:49,857 --> 00:30:53,794 Executive producers, John Berg, Angela Petrella. 784 00:30:53,895 --> 00:30:56,230 Produced by Dennis McNicholas. 785 00:30:56,297 --> 00:30:58,466 Executives in charge of production, 786 00:30:58,566 --> 00:31:01,302 Shaleen Desae, Peter Girardi. 787 00:31:01,402 --> 00:31:03,237 Producer, Tyler Dorson. 788 00:31:03,304 --> 00:31:05,806 Production services by Cast Media. 789 00:31:05,907 --> 00:31:07,708 Producer, Colin Thompson. 790 00:31:07,775 --> 00:31:10,444 Coordinating producer, DJ Lubel. 791 00:31:10,544 --> 00:31:12,580 Music by Doug Bossi. 792 00:31:12,647 --> 00:31:14,882 Sound recording, design, and mixing 793 00:31:14,949 --> 00:31:16,417 by Big Yellow Duck. 794 00:31:16,484 --> 00:31:19,053 Sound design, mixing, dialogue editing, 795 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,722 and rerecording mixing by Chris Gibney. 796 00:31:21,789 --> 00:31:24,325 Dialogue editing and additional post-production 797 00:31:24,425 --> 00:31:25,927 by Julie Larson. 798 00:31:25,993 --> 00:31:29,163 Original songs by Doug Bossi and Tony Phillips. 799 00:31:29,263 --> 00:31:30,831 The characters and events depicted 800 00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:32,733 in this podcast are fictional. 801 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,169 Any similarity to any actual person 802 00:31:35,269 --> 00:31:38,072 living or dead or to any actual events, 803 00:31:38,139 --> 00:31:41,609 firms, places, and institutions or other entities 804 00:31:41,676 --> 00:31:43,844 is coincidental and unintentional. 805 00:31:43,945 --> 00:31:46,013 This podcast to protected under the laws 806 00:31:46,113 --> 00:31:48,416 of the United States and other countries, 807 00:31:48,482 --> 00:31:50,184 and its unauthorized duplication, 808 00:31:50,284 --> 00:31:52,019 distribution, or exhibition 809 00:31:52,119 --> 00:31:55,523 may result in civil liability and criminal prosecution. 810 00:31:55,623 --> 00:31:58,626 Country of first publication, United States of America. 811 00:31:58,693 --> 00:32:02,196 "Batman the Audio Adventures," copyright 2022 812 00:32:02,296 --> 00:32:04,265 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. 813 00:32:04,332 --> 00:32:06,867 Batman and all related characters and elements 814 00:32:06,968 --> 00:32:09,470 are trademark and copyright DC. 815 00:32:09,537 --> 00:32:11,038 All rights reserved. 816 00:32:11,138 --> 00:32:14,108 [jazz music] 817 00:32:14,175 --> 00:32:15,676 ♪ ♪