1
00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:05,948
- "Batman:
The Audio Adventures."
2
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,951
[TV set clicks]
[gunshots, hollering]
3
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,554
[clicks]
[Theremin music]
4
00:00:11,621 --> 00:00:13,256
- No joy
in Gothamville tonight.
5
00:00:13,356 --> 00:00:15,258
At the top of the ninth,
one on, 4-1 lead
6
00:00:15,358 --> 00:00:17,693
for the Barnstormers
trying to put this one away.
7
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,363
Gotham Gaslamps star
Swat Fleischacker steps in.
8
00:00:20,430 --> 00:00:22,865
Hitless today with his
57-game hitting streak
9
00:00:22,932 --> 00:00:24,467
perilously on the line.
10
00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:26,969
- Swat has not looked good
since the Lamps have
11
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,704
- been on the road, Lou.
- Not good at all.
12
00:00:28,771 --> 00:00:30,873
This is not the way
Swat wanted to tee up
13
00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:32,975
his triumphant return
to Gotham this weekend.
14
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,944
You know, Stiv, the pressure
seems to be getting to him
15
00:00:35,044 --> 00:00:36,579
as he nears the winter league
hit record.
16
00:00:36,646 --> 00:00:38,147
Pressure is the word.
17
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,316
No doubt more than a few bets
riding on Swat
18
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:42,318
- and his magic bat tonight.
- You got that right.
19
00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:44,454
Heck, you're down for
10 large, aren't you, Stiv?
20
00:00:44,554 --> 00:00:47,256
- You know you're not supposed
to say that on the air, Lou.
21
00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:50,226
Come on, man, Loretta is
going to divorce me.
22
00:00:50,293 --> 00:00:52,061
She is serious this time.
23
00:00:52,128 --> 00:00:55,164
[click]
[tuba playing stutteringly]
24
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:59,135
♪ ♪
25
00:00:59,235 --> 00:01:02,138
- Okay.
[applause]
26
00:01:02,238 --> 00:01:06,509
Miss Yvonne Plunkett
and her...terrific tuba.
27
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,145
[chuckles]
How about a round of applause
28
00:01:09,245 --> 00:01:13,416
for another beautiful...
and talented contestant,
29
00:01:13,483 --> 00:01:16,686
but there can only be
one Miss Gotham City.
30
00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:18,788
♪ She's the acme ♪
31
00:01:18,855 --> 00:01:21,124
♪ She's the apex ♪
32
00:01:21,190 --> 00:01:25,628
♪ Free from physical defects ♪
33
00:01:25,695 --> 00:01:28,097
♪ She's our Miss ♪
34
00:01:28,164 --> 00:01:30,967
♪ Gotham City ♪
35
00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:35,104
♪ Ain't it a pity
most girls aren't as pretty ♪
36
00:01:35,171 --> 00:01:38,941
♪ As Miss Gotham City ♪
37
00:01:39,008 --> 00:01:41,344
- That's all 28
of our lovely hopefuls,
38
00:01:41,444 --> 00:01:43,946
and now the judges will--
what's that?
39
00:01:44,013 --> 00:01:45,214
One more contestant?
40
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,350
- Hey, out of the way.
One side, girls.
41
00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:49,018
Hunk of real woman
coming through.
42
00:01:49,118 --> 00:01:50,786
- What the--who are you
supposed to be?
43
00:01:50,853 --> 00:01:53,022
- Oh, I'm custodial services,
mac,
44
00:01:53,122 --> 00:01:55,725
here to mop the floor
with these leggy ding-dongs.
45
00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:58,394
You call that talent, girlies?
Huh?
46
00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,129
Thought at least one of you
would be doing
47
00:02:00,196 --> 00:02:01,898
a soft-shoe while,
I don't know,
48
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:05,835
fastballing hamsters into
a wood chipper, but no, doctor.
49
00:02:05,902 --> 00:02:08,237
Not a lot
of competition here tonight.
50
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:09,906
This ought to be a cinch.
51
00:02:10,006 --> 00:02:12,041
- And what's with
the clown costume, anyway?
52
00:02:12,141 --> 00:02:13,676
- Hey, good question.
[gun cocks]
53
00:02:13,743 --> 00:02:16,412
Buy a ticket to the circus
and find out, mac.
54
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:17,647
- [crowd gasps]
- Security.
55
00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:19,515
- Can someone--
- Sing the song.
56
00:02:19,582 --> 00:02:22,752
- Uh...
♪ She's the tops ♪
57
00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:24,820
[hesitantly]
♪ She's the summit ♪
58
00:02:24,887 --> 00:02:27,323
♪ She's just perfect,
dad-gummit ♪
59
00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:30,326
♪ She's Miss Gotham City ♪
60
00:02:30,393 --> 00:02:31,761
[gun cocks]
[groans]
61
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,729
- Please take it easy.
- Yeah, okay, toothpaste.
62
00:02:33,829 --> 00:02:36,766
Next time you try to carry
a tune, bring a bucket.
63
00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:38,534
[microphone screeches]
Now, then.
64
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:41,938
Sorry, Gotham City, but this is
a dedicated performance
65
00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:43,739
for an audience of one.
66
00:02:43,839 --> 00:02:46,442
You know who you are,
my sweet puddin'.
67
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:47,910
Or maybe you don't.
68
00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:50,947
Eh, that's violent psychopathy
for you, right?
69
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:53,382
So if you need
a refresher course,
70
00:02:53,449 --> 00:02:55,284
you're tall,
chemically-bleached,
71
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:59,055
and handsome-adjacent,
grading on a curve.
72
00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:01,791
You're the Clown Prince
of Crime, of course.
73
00:03:01,891 --> 00:03:03,226
And you don't know it yet,
74
00:03:03,292 --> 00:03:06,562
but I'm your number one
second banana.
75
00:03:06,629 --> 00:03:08,231
I just gotta ask you
to be patient
76
00:03:08,297 --> 00:03:09,799
a little longer, puddin'.
77
00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:12,134
I need everything
to be perfect,
78
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,469
and that means I wait
79
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:16,305
till the magic bat
comes back to town.
80
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:19,141
Trust me, it's gonna be socko.
81
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:20,643
We're gonna turn a dog
into sausages.
82
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:21,978
The whole nine.
83
00:03:22,078 --> 00:03:24,413
And anyhow,
what's your rush, buster--
84
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,784
and hey, what are you watching
this trash for, anyhow?
85
00:03:28,884 --> 00:03:30,987
Aww, come on,
you don't see anything you like
86
00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:32,788
in this flock of turkeys,
do you?
87
00:03:32,888 --> 00:03:34,156
Huh?
[crowd gasps]
88
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:36,826
What the heck are you ogling
other dames for?
89
00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:38,794
I'll show you a real woman
90
00:03:38,894 --> 00:03:41,264
who knows how to commit
to a bit.
91
00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:43,633
Okay, Rosso, Nero,
92
00:03:43,733 --> 00:03:46,002
wheel that stuff out here.
[glasses clinking]
93
00:03:46,102 --> 00:03:47,503
- Here, boss?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
94
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:49,005
That's good.
Make sure the camera can see.
95
00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:51,574
Oh, and give Nero
a sack of potatoes too.
96
00:03:51,641 --> 00:03:54,677
And now, without further ado,
97
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:57,580
I'd like to show this town
and my puddin'
98
00:03:57,647 --> 00:03:59,915
a real class talent.
99
00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:03,085
Please enjoy as I play
George Frideric Handel's
100
00:04:03,152 --> 00:04:05,621
"Water Music"
on the musical wine glasses...
101
00:04:05,688 --> 00:04:07,790
[glass chimes]
While my two associates
102
00:04:07,857 --> 00:04:11,594
pelt me merciless-like with
a hail of raw Idaho taters.
103
00:04:11,661 --> 00:04:13,996
[water glasses chiming]
Okay, let her rip, boys.
104
00:04:14,096 --> 00:04:16,866
[both laughing]
Ooh! Ow! Ah!
105
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:19,869
Not the face!
[groaning]
106
00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:23,372
[laughing]
107
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,708
Welp, either I need to look
108
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:28,544
into an industrial-grade
restraining order,
109
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:32,481
or I just laid eyes
on the gal of my dreams.
110
00:04:32,548 --> 00:04:35,685
[laughing maniacally]
111
00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:40,222
narrator: Gotham,
the ball and chain
112
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,191
on a drowning fugitive.
113
00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:43,959
Join us now for another tale
114
00:04:44,026 --> 00:04:46,295
of life and death
in Gotham City.
115
00:04:46,362 --> 00:04:47,730
March 6th.
116
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,899
A series
of masterful manipulations
117
00:04:49,999 --> 00:04:52,968
has seen malevolent mafioso
Oswald Cobblepot
118
00:04:53,035 --> 00:04:55,404
installed
as oversight commissioner
119
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,306
of the Gotham City PD.
120
00:04:57,373 --> 00:04:59,909
But the Penguin has learned
seizing a wriggling fish
121
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:02,345
is not the same
as swallowing it.
122
00:05:02,411 --> 00:05:04,980
Having failed thus far
to make good on his promise
123
00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:08,184
to rid the city of the Joker,
Commissioner Cobblepot feels
124
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:12,221
mounting pressure from cops
and citizens alike to deliver.
125
00:05:12,321 --> 00:05:15,925
Meanwhile, the longer Catwoman
eludes the price on her head,
126
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,727
the larger the bounty grows
127
00:05:17,827 --> 00:05:19,929
and the shorter
her list of options.
128
00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,264
Silhouetted upon
this lurid backdrop,
129
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,700
the Dynamic Duo
makes a daring effort
130
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:27,837
to save a man from his mind.
131
00:05:27,903 --> 00:05:31,107
The sumptuous guest suites
at the Iceberg Lounge
132
00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:33,542
are seldom to be found
with a vacancy.
133
00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:36,612
Any night of the week
sees the house at capacity
134
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:40,082
with sharps on benders,
twists having trysts,
135
00:05:40,182 --> 00:05:43,018
and a preposterous array
of assumed names
136
00:05:43,085 --> 00:05:44,954
filling the guest registry.
137
00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,455
But one room is reserved
138
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:49,058
for a single,
very special resident,
139
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:50,926
or is that a famous pair?
140
00:05:51,026 --> 00:05:52,595
- [knock on door]
- Room service, Mr. Dent.
141
00:05:52,695 --> 00:05:55,698
Dr. Crane says it's time
for your evening meds.
142
00:05:55,765 --> 00:05:58,401
narrator:
Room 222 on the second floor
143
00:05:58,467 --> 00:06:02,037
is the present residency
of Harvey "Two-Face" Dent.
144
00:06:02,104 --> 00:06:03,973
Having recently been
tucked into bed
145
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,208
with another megadose
of JoyCure,
146
00:06:06,275 --> 00:06:09,211
the fractured felon
is now sleeping peacefully.
147
00:06:09,278 --> 00:06:11,113
[mumbles and snores]
148
00:06:11,213 --> 00:06:12,648
narrator:
But little does he know
149
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,784
he's put in
for an early checkout.
150
00:06:14,884 --> 00:06:17,319
An impossibly sleek
black watercraft
151
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,988
bobs gracefully in the harbor
152
00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,490
outside the floating
Iceberg Lounge,
153
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:23,993
and in the cockpit,
Robin the Boy Wonder
154
00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:26,662
lowers a pair of binoculars
with grim satisfaction.
155
00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,097
Robin to Batman.
156
00:06:28,164 --> 00:06:29,965
Perimeter security
didn't see a thing.
157
00:06:30,065 --> 00:06:31,734
- You got in clean.
- I'm not in yet.
158
00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:33,936
Harvey has a dedicated
security detail.
159
00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:35,404
Dr. Crane has been
randomly glitching
160
00:06:35,471 --> 00:06:36,972
their surveillance all night,
161
00:06:37,072 --> 00:06:38,841
so the stage is set
for me to make my move.
162
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:40,443
- Copy that.
I have the boat in position
163
00:06:40,509 --> 00:06:41,677
to pick up the package.
164
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,479
Standing by
in submersible mode.
165
00:06:43,579 --> 00:06:47,183
[submarine whooshing]
[water bubbling]
166
00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:48,851
- [radar beeping]
- Commissioner Gordon is
167
00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,853
going to light
the Bat-Signal momentarily.
168
00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,988
When Crane sees it,
he'll disable the cameras
169
00:06:53,088 --> 00:06:54,757
one last time, then I move in.
170
00:06:54,824 --> 00:06:56,358
- What if Two-Face
gives you trouble?
171
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:57,960
- According to Crane,
the JoyCure
172
00:06:58,027 --> 00:06:59,695
has left him almost docile,
173
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:02,097
but he's paralyzed with
indecision without his coin.
174
00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:03,699
- Yeesh.
- He will comply
175
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,668
with almost any command
rather than be forced
176
00:07:05,768 --> 00:07:07,470
to make the decision
to resist.
177
00:07:07,536 --> 00:07:09,004
That will make him
easy to move,
178
00:07:09,104 --> 00:07:10,473
but I shudder to think
what it means
179
00:07:10,539 --> 00:07:11,640
for his rehabilitation.
180
00:07:11,707 --> 00:07:13,108
First order of business is
181
00:07:13,175 --> 00:07:15,044
a full medical detox
from JoyCure.
182
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:16,312
Do you have to?
183
00:07:16,378 --> 00:07:18,047
I kind of like the sound
of this Two-Face.
184
00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:19,949
- I've been doing research
on JoyCure.
185
00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:21,717
It's imperative we get him
weaned off of it
186
00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:23,519
before he develops
a dependency.
187
00:07:23,619 --> 00:07:26,288
Going radio silent.
Monitor their communications
188
00:07:26,355 --> 00:07:28,491
and be ready to pick up
Harvey for exfiltration.
189
00:07:28,557 --> 00:07:31,026
- Batman out.
- Good luck, Batman.
190
00:07:31,126 --> 00:07:33,229
I hope Harvey Dent appreciates
what you do for him.
191
00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:35,397
narrator: Above the city,
across the water,
192
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,867
the Bat-Signal
illuminates on cue
193
00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:40,035
and the Boy Wonder tunes
his receiver frequency.
194
00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:42,171
- [static crackles]
- Further instructions.
195
00:07:42,238 --> 00:07:43,906
Mr. Gemini is secure
under lockdown.
196
00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:46,509
Repeat: Mr. Gemini
is in his twin bed, over.
197
00:07:46,575 --> 00:07:47,877
- Team leader,
this is surveillance.
198
00:07:47,977 --> 00:07:49,245
Go ahead.
199
00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,413
- I got cameras out
down here again.
200
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:52,882
It's been happening all night.
201
00:07:52,982 --> 00:07:55,084
- Copy that.
All positions check in.
202
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:57,586
- This is Sardine.
All clear in the hallway.
203
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,688
- Fluke here.
All clear in room 222.
204
00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:02,157
- It's Flounder.
All secure on the balcony.
205
00:08:02,224 --> 00:08:04,493
Nothing going on out here.
206
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,095
Bat-Signal went up
a minute ago.
207
00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:07,596
- Yuh-oh.
208
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,265
- Somebody's gonna have
a rough night.
209
00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:11,901
- [chuckles]
- Yep, sucks to be them.
210
00:08:12,001 --> 00:08:13,602
- And they don't know
what's coming.
211
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,770
You never think
the signal's for you.
212
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,171
It's the odds.
213
00:08:16,238 --> 00:08:18,007
900 crimes a night
in this town,
214
00:08:18,073 --> 00:08:20,776
what are the odds
I'm the yegg that gets caught?
215
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,611
Hey, I heard something.
216
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,179
I'm gonna go
check it out real quick.
217
00:08:24,246 --> 00:08:25,681
Heating duct's making noise.
218
00:08:25,748 --> 00:08:27,416
I might have
to call maintenance.
219
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:29,218
Copy that, Sardine.
220
00:08:29,285 --> 00:08:30,619
Hey, Fluke, you think
221
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,121
they really call him
with that thing?
222
00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,889
- What the Bat-Signal?
Oh, no way.
223
00:08:33,956 --> 00:08:37,259
That's not what it's for.
Don't kid yourself.
224
00:08:37,359 --> 00:08:39,295
- But what's it for, then?
- Oh, it's a transmitter
225
00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:42,097
for sub-trans-nebular
omega rays.
226
00:08:42,197 --> 00:08:44,199
- You said omega rays?
- Yeah, that's what it is.
227
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:46,902
It shoots out omega rays along
a trans-nebular vortex vector.
228
00:08:46,969 --> 00:08:49,138
They travel on an astral
photonic sub-frequency,
229
00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:51,407
so we're probably getting
blipped right now.
230
00:08:51,473 --> 00:08:53,042
- What the frig
are omega rays?
231
00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:54,710
- What, are you stupid?
Reverse engineered
232
00:08:54,777 --> 00:08:56,312
alien technology
from Wayne Enterprises
233
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,980
in partnership with GCPD.
Mind control.
234
00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,782
Also makes you sterile.
It's why these days,
235
00:08:59,882 --> 00:09:01,250
I always keep my privates
wrapped in tinfoil.
236
00:09:01,317 --> 00:09:02,718
Oh, Fluke.
237
00:09:02,785 --> 00:09:04,420
- Yeah, you know,
better safe than sorry.
238
00:09:04,486 --> 00:09:06,255
- You know, Fluke,
you ain't right ever since
239
00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:08,257
Penguin put you in
the fish tank for the weekend.
240
00:09:08,324 --> 00:09:10,225
- Hey, I had a lot of time
to think when I was in there.
241
00:09:10,292 --> 00:09:12,227
A lot of things
make sense to me now.
242
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,496
Like, you think
Batman just invents
243
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,098
those crazy gizmos he's got?
244
00:09:16,165 --> 00:09:17,800
And the car? No way.
245
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:20,336
Recovered alien tech
from planet Zur-en-arrh
246
00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:22,304
supplied to him
by black budget projects
247
00:09:22,404 --> 00:09:24,139
at Wayne Industries.
Ask Sardine.
248
00:09:24,239 --> 00:09:25,407
His cousin works at Wayne.
Tell him, Sardo.
249
00:09:25,474 --> 00:09:26,842
[static crackles]
250
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,510
- Sardine,
you check out that noise?
251
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:31,947
- [groaning]
- I didn't copy--
252
00:09:32,014 --> 00:09:33,682
- [strained]
Batman.
253
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,351
[groans]
254
00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:36,919
- Did he say--
- Already on it.
255
00:09:36,986 --> 00:09:38,520
Clearing evac route.
Do we have--
256
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,322
- Alert, all positions.
I got cameras back.
257
00:09:40,422 --> 00:09:41,957
Can confirm we have been
infiltrated by the Batman.
258
00:09:42,024 --> 00:09:43,459
- [alarm blaring]
- You can't be serious.
259
00:09:43,525 --> 00:09:44,994
- Flounder,
he's coming your way.
260
00:09:45,094 --> 00:09:46,128
- Oh, no.
- He's coming around--
261
00:09:46,195 --> 00:09:47,363
He's in the hallway.
262
00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:49,365
My God, he's fast.
He's--
263
00:09:49,465 --> 00:09:51,033
[crashing]
264
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,267
We have another agent down.
265
00:09:52,334 --> 00:09:53,702
Room 222, be advised.
266
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,771
The Batman is
moving on your position.
267
00:09:55,838 --> 00:09:57,206
- What do I do?
- He's passing room 200.
268
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,841
- 208.
- Oh, God.
269
00:09:58,941 --> 00:10:00,442
- Listen to me, Fluke.
This is team leader.
270
00:10:00,509 --> 00:10:02,111
Hold position in room 222
271
00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:03,812
and prepare
for solo engagement with--
272
00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:05,714
- [laughing]
- What is that?
273
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:08,550
- Are you laughing?
- 212, 218--
274
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,886
- Get ahold of yourself.
You have a job to do.
275
00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:12,655
What is so damn funny?
276
00:10:12,721 --> 00:10:15,190
No, it's just...
277
00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:17,159
you never think
the signal's there for you.
278
00:10:17,226 --> 00:10:19,128
[crash]
[groans]
279
00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:20,829
[static crackling]
280
00:10:20,896 --> 00:10:22,631
narrator:
Harvey Dent is feeling a peace
281
00:10:22,698 --> 00:10:24,166
that is the perfect inverse
282
00:10:24,233 --> 00:10:26,669
of the coming fury
of Oswald Cobblepot.
283
00:10:26,735 --> 00:10:28,570
Two sides of a plug nickel
284
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:31,573
called life and death
in Gotham City.
285
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:33,409
Who knows what evil dwells
286
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:35,744
in the heart
of the dark of the city?
287
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:39,148
One lone defender of the night,
Bat-Mite!
288
00:10:39,214 --> 00:10:41,583
- [bright music]
- Hey, boys and girls.
289
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,918
You've seen him at the cinema.
290
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:44,753
You've seen him
in the funny papers.
291
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:48,257
Now Bat-Mite needs your help
in his crime-busting crusade.
292
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:49,525
Heed the call.
293
00:10:49,591 --> 00:10:51,760
He wants you to join
the Mite Brigade.
294
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,495
- I'm serious.
- Tell your parents
295
00:10:53,562 --> 00:10:56,532
to subscribe to home delivery
of the "Gotham Gazette,"
296
00:10:56,598 --> 00:10:58,367
and we'll send you
your official
297
00:10:58,434 --> 00:11:00,536
Bat-Mite junior
crime-fighting kit.
298
00:11:00,602 --> 00:11:03,105
You'll get everything you need
for an afternoon
299
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,940
of wholesome crime-busting fun.
300
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,943
A rope, a mask,
a black bodysuit,
301
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:10,713
a lockpick, a pair
of custom-made handcuffs,
302
00:11:10,779 --> 00:11:13,449
a glass cutter,
and a sack of smoke bombs.
303
00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:15,617
What could go wrong?
[boing]
304
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,953
Sounds like the first mystery
for you to solve
305
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,521
as a member
of the Mite Brigade.
306
00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:20,756
singers:
♪ He's out on the prowl ♪
307
00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:22,458
♪ In his cape and his cowl ♪
308
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:25,094
♪ ♪
309
00:11:25,194 --> 00:11:29,264
♪ So you evildoers
best beware ♪
310
00:11:29,364 --> 00:11:31,033
♪ ♪
311
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:32,935
narrator: Gotham, a windmill
312
00:11:33,035 --> 00:11:35,471
spinning backwards
on a still night.
313
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,306
Join us now for another tale
314
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:40,476
of life and death
in Gotham City.
315
00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:42,311
Two-Face floats peacefully
316
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:45,247
in the featureless void
of his deep unconscious.
317
00:11:45,314 --> 00:11:46,882
[groaning]
318
00:11:46,949 --> 00:11:48,584
- Don't move, Harvey.
- [as the Other] Batman?
319
00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:50,919
- Sleep now, Harvey.
I'm getting you out of here.
320
00:11:50,986 --> 00:11:52,488
narrator:
The last thing he remembers
321
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:53,989
is the hiss of the aerosol
322
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:57,226
and the acrid smell
of potent hypnotic gas.
323
00:11:57,292 --> 00:12:00,262
But as his consciousness
slowly rises to the surface,
324
00:12:00,329 --> 00:12:02,898
the sound that beckons him
is the voice of...
325
00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:04,466
- a friend?
- Harvey.
326
00:12:04,566 --> 00:12:06,668
narrator:
Two-Face slowly opens one eye.
327
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,438
He lays in a lavish
four-poster bed.
328
00:12:09,505 --> 00:12:12,674
At his side, tending to him
like a faithful valet,
329
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:13,942
is Bruce Wayne.
330
00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:16,678
- Well, it's a cinch
you ain't Batman.
331
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:19,248
- Easy.
Batman brought you here
332
00:12:19,314 --> 00:12:21,150
to stay with me
for a little while.
333
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:24,419
- [sighs]
The last thing I remember--
334
00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:27,689
now I'm--hey.
335
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,291
I know this place.
336
00:12:29,358 --> 00:12:31,794
narrator: Slowly, Harvey's
other eye flutters open.
337
00:12:31,860 --> 00:12:34,163
- [as Harvey] Bruce?
- Welcome back, Harvey.
338
00:12:34,263 --> 00:12:36,198
Been a while
since you came by the house.
339
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:37,766
- Bruce, what--
340
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,101
what's happening here?
341
00:12:39,168 --> 00:12:41,036
- You're going through
a tough time.
342
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:42,971
I thought you could
stay here for a while,
343
00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:46,508
that is, if your partner
won't cause me any trouble.
344
00:12:46,608 --> 00:12:48,677
- [as the Other] Who, me?
- Yes, you.
345
00:12:48,777 --> 00:12:52,548
- What did I do?
- I have concerns about you.
346
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,883
- You also got
a liquor cabinet, Fauntleroy?
347
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,151
Of course.
348
00:12:56,218 --> 00:12:58,120
- Then what do I got
to be sore about?
349
00:12:58,187 --> 00:13:00,389
[as Harvey] Bruce, Bruce,
you don't understand,
350
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:02,524
I have a lot of work
left to do for the Penguin.
351
00:13:02,624 --> 00:13:03,859
- You don't work
for him anymore.
352
00:13:03,959 --> 00:13:05,561
He's got big plans, Bruce.
353
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,329
What we've done for him,
354
00:13:07,396 --> 00:13:09,832
it will all collapse
without us, Bruce.
355
00:13:09,898 --> 00:13:11,466
Do you know
what the Penguin will do
356
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:12,835
when he starts to lose it all?
357
00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:14,336
Please lie back down, Harvey.
358
00:13:14,403 --> 00:13:15,737
You can tell me later.
359
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:17,673
- Right now, what I need is--
- Wait, wait.
360
00:13:17,739 --> 00:13:19,141
narrator:
Harvey's eye lights upon
361
00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:20,709
a large leather-bound book
362
00:13:20,809 --> 00:13:22,845
sitting next
to a steaming cup of tea
363
00:13:22,911 --> 00:13:24,146
on his bedside table.
364
00:13:24,213 --> 00:13:26,682
- This book.
"Don Quixote."
365
00:13:26,748 --> 00:13:29,184
- I thought you might like
something to read.
366
00:13:29,251 --> 00:13:32,921
- One man,
both a hero and a fool.
367
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,990
- You remember it.
- The press,
368
00:13:35,057 --> 00:13:38,193
they called Harvey Dent
"DA Don Q," didn't they?
369
00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:41,763
Deluded, certain to fail
in a decrepit crusade
370
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,932
to rid Gotham of its monsters.
371
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,401
- And they called me
your Sancho Panza.
372
00:13:46,501 --> 00:13:48,937
I'm still willing to fight your
windmills with you, Harvey.
373
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,739
narrator: Harvey Dent looks
into the eyes
374
00:13:50,839 --> 00:13:52,374
of his erstwhile friend.
375
00:13:52,441 --> 00:13:54,243
The caring and compassionate
376
00:13:54,343 --> 00:13:56,778
and strangely familiar eyes.
377
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,414
- [as the Other]
Say, a book this old and ugly
378
00:13:59,514 --> 00:14:00,883
must cost a pretty penny.
379
00:14:00,949 --> 00:14:03,552
[as Harvey] Careful, please.
This...
380
00:14:03,619 --> 00:14:05,354
is a Rothchild House edition.
381
00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:07,623
Very few survived
the Great London Fire.
382
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,792
Wait, we gave you this book.
383
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,127
Check the inscription.
384
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:16,198
"To Bruce, faithful squire."
385
00:14:16,265 --> 00:14:19,468
No, we didn't
give you this book.
386
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,703
I gave you this book.
387
00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,138
Harvey, all I need from you
388
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,940
is some legality
to your stay here,
389
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,476
to protect us both
from Oswald Cobblepot.
390
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:30,879
- What? Oh, yeah.
Of course.
391
00:14:30,946 --> 00:14:33,148
[clears throat]
All right, call this number.
392
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:34,449
You know Judge Hellman?
393
00:14:34,549 --> 00:14:35,984
- He's cheated me
in a few rounds of golf.
394
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,886
- Tell him you're filing
an emergency petition
395
00:14:37,953 --> 00:14:39,821
for guardianship
under subsection D
396
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:42,157
of the Valstead Code
with expedited process
397
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,992
pursuant
to a physician's examination.
398
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,327
- Brilliant.
[knock on door]
399
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,963
- Excuse me, sir.
- Hey, it's Alfred.
400
00:14:48,063 --> 00:14:50,332
[as the Other] He the mope
that takes the drink orders?
401
00:14:50,432 --> 00:14:52,134
- A pleasure to have
your company once again, sir.
402
00:14:52,234 --> 00:14:54,002
- Would you excuse me
a moment, Harvey?
403
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,505
- There's a car coming up
the front drive, Master Bruce.
404
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,974
- Dr. Crane.
He's here for his payment.
405
00:14:59,074 --> 00:15:01,677
Did the film canisters arrive
from the Wayne Media archives?
406
00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:03,245
They did, and they're on
407
00:15:03,312 --> 00:15:05,280
the receiving table
in the grand foyer.
408
00:15:05,347 --> 00:15:07,249
Shall I invite the doctor
into the study?
409
00:15:07,316 --> 00:15:08,817
No, stay with Harvey.
410
00:15:08,917 --> 00:15:10,185
As soon as I've dealt
with Crane,
411
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,287
I'll work up
the detox protocol.
412
00:15:12,354 --> 00:15:14,456
Harvey will start
to withdraw imminently.
413
00:15:14,523 --> 00:15:16,158
- We can't let that happen.
- Very good, sir.
414
00:15:16,258 --> 00:15:18,427
- And let me know when Robin
comes back in from patrol.
415
00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:20,529
narrator: In a moment,
Bruce Wayne is downstairs
416
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:22,864
opening the vast front door
of his father's home
417
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,266
to greet the late arrival.
418
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:26,335
- Good evening, Doctor.
- Mr. Wayne.
419
00:15:26,435 --> 00:15:28,704
Thank you for receiving me
at this hour.
420
00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:32,040
I confess, I could scarcely
wait to get my goodies.
421
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,109
- Your patient is resting
comfortably, Doctor.
422
00:15:34,176 --> 00:15:35,610
Thank you for your concern.
423
00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:39,014
Ah, yes. Splendid.
424
00:15:39,114 --> 00:15:41,550
Are those the film canisters
over there?
425
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,553
- That's it--the complete
and uncut master print
426
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,822
of Basil Karlo's
infamous final film.
427
00:15:46,888 --> 00:15:49,891
- There was only ever
one private screening.
428
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,494
15 studio executives...
429
00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:56,665
thought they had what it took
to face "The Second Skin."
430
00:15:56,732 --> 00:16:00,569
The toughest of them made it
through the opening credits,
431
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,171
but before the first scene
was finished,
432
00:16:03,238 --> 00:16:06,341
he had put his own eyes out
like everyone else.
433
00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:08,910
They say the worst part
of finding that screening room
434
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:12,314
full of eyeless men
is what blissful relief
435
00:16:12,381 --> 00:16:14,850
they seemed to be enjoying,
staring at the ceiling
436
00:16:14,916 --> 00:16:17,085
with empty sockets
as the tail end
437
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,055
of the film reel flapped
in the empty projector.
438
00:16:20,155 --> 00:16:23,825
- A grotesque story
and an excellent reason
439
00:16:23,892 --> 00:16:25,427
for why I'm adjusting
the terms of our deal.
440
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,029
Adjusting?
441
00:16:27,095 --> 00:16:29,164
- I'm not letting you
take the film off the premises.
442
00:16:29,231 --> 00:16:31,400
You can examine it here freely
in my screening room,
443
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,569
but at no point does the film
ever leave my supervision.
444
00:16:34,669 --> 00:16:37,572
As you've just said,
it's dangerous.
445
00:16:37,672 --> 00:16:38,940
Hardly honorable.
446
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,609
- And yet
it's the right thing to do.
447
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:44,279
- The film must remain here
at Wayne Manor, you said.
448
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,748
- Those are the only terms
I'll accept.
449
00:16:46,848 --> 00:16:49,351
- What luck.
I was already planning
450
00:16:49,418 --> 00:16:50,685
on staying a while,
451
00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:53,622
so your terms
are perfectly acceptable.
452
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,123
I beg your pardon? Staying?
453
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,426
- In the capacity
of your personal physician.
454
00:16:57,526 --> 00:16:59,194
You've got a long recovery
ahead of you.
455
00:16:59,261 --> 00:17:00,462
Recovery?
456
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,130
I don't need
medical attention, Doctor.
457
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,466
- Well, not yet.
[cannister pops, fizzes]
458
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,234
- What--
[choking]
459
00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:08,770
narrator: In an instant,
Bruce Wayne finds himself
460
00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:11,473
choking on a roiling plume
of orange gas
461
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,108
that billows
from the coat sleeve
462
00:17:13,208 --> 00:17:15,110
of the suddenly aggressive
alienist.
463
00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:16,978
- What? No.
narrator: When the gas begins
464
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:20,148
to clear, a face swims
out of the acrid fog.
465
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:23,885
A hideous face wrapped
in rotten patchwork burlap.
466
00:17:23,952 --> 00:17:25,120
Scarecrow.
467
00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:28,323
- Oh, you poor,
little orphan boy.
468
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:30,992
What exquisite fears
you must have
469
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,261
in the pit
of your pampered soul.
470
00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:35,097
I confess,
after you left my office,
471
00:17:35,163 --> 00:17:38,667
I couldn't get my mind
off the thought of little Bruce
472
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:42,337
standing in an alley
behind the movie theater,
473
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:45,440
wracked by a fear
that, to this very day,
474
00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:49,144
gnaws you raw from the inside.
475
00:17:49,244 --> 00:17:50,645
Dear Father--
[gunshot]
476
00:17:50,745 --> 00:17:52,347
Dear Mother--
[gunshot]
477
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,182
- I'll take that necklace
you're wearing, lady.
478
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,518
- You're back there right now,
aren't you?
479
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,588
- [coughs]
- Yes, yes, that's--
480
00:17:59,654 --> 00:18:02,357
that's a potent batch there.
481
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,693
Very specially formulated.
482
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,995
Eventually, I'm gonna use it
on the Batman,
483
00:18:07,095 --> 00:18:10,665
but I'm very excited
about this little test run.
484
00:18:10,765 --> 00:18:14,169
[chuckles]
Now then, to the dining room.
485
00:18:14,269 --> 00:18:16,605
Get the fine china out.
[crash, hollering]
486
00:18:16,671 --> 00:18:20,208
narrator: Scarecrow's faithful
motorcycle gang, Dem Bones,
487
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,610
ride a dozen strong
488
00:18:21,676 --> 00:18:24,446
into the grand foyer
of Wayne Manor.
489
00:18:24,513 --> 00:18:28,016
- I am gonna eat your fears,
little orphan boy.
490
00:18:28,116 --> 00:18:30,452
narrator: Bruce Wayne now
knows the secret identity
491
00:18:30,519 --> 00:18:34,055
of the Scarecrow, but he is
brought low by the discovery.
492
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:37,859
As Wayne Manor is overrun
by the vile Scarecrow gang,
493
00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:41,563
the evening forecast is horror
with a chance of madness.
494
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,665
And what of Alfred
and Two-Face?
495
00:18:43,732 --> 00:18:46,701
Stay tuned for the answers
in an imminent tale
496
00:18:46,801 --> 00:18:49,804
of life and death
in Gotham City.
497
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,876
- From the distant
reaches of space,
498
00:18:54,976 --> 00:18:57,812
to the phantom planet
Zur-en-arrh--
499
00:18:57,879 --> 00:19:01,349
- These three contestants
will compete for cash
500
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:03,018
and fabulous prizes on--
501
00:19:03,084 --> 00:19:05,754
- First pitch from Deskin.
Fastball. Strike one.
502
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,889
Swat Fleischacker has
struck out three times today,
503
00:19:07,989 --> 00:19:09,724
and he fouled out
to Caluwe last time.
504
00:19:09,824 --> 00:19:12,727
- Sorry to say the magic
in that bat might've run out.
505
00:19:12,827 --> 00:19:15,430
That's bad news
if you're betting on Swat
506
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,932
keeping his hitting streak
alive.
507
00:19:17,032 --> 00:19:18,500
And we know you are despite
508
00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:20,602
your many broken promises
to your family.
509
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,437
Why, Lou? Just why?
510
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,773
- Deskin gets the sign
and--what's this?
511
00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:27,742
Swat chose bunt, and now
Beltran charges down the line.
512
00:19:27,842 --> 00:19:29,511
Look out! Holy mercy.
513
00:19:29,578 --> 00:19:31,379
Fleischacker fakes the bunt
and swings away.
514
00:19:31,446 --> 00:19:33,949
Beltran goes down as the ball
caroms off his kneecap.
515
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,885
- I can't patella lie, Lou.
That's gonna hurt.
516
00:19:36,952 --> 00:19:38,453
- [groaning]
- That is very clever,
517
00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:40,355
but the man is
gruesomely injured.
518
00:19:40,422 --> 00:19:42,123
Runner advances,
Fleischacker is safe,
519
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,959
and the streak is at 58.
520
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:46,962
Swat's magic bat comes through
with an old-school fake-out,
521
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,964
and finally,
the Gaslamps show some--
522
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:52,267
narrator: Life and death
in Gotham City--epilogue.
523
00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:54,970
- Gaslamps faithful breathing
a sigh of relief tonight
524
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:57,439
after rookie Toots Tully
crushed a Deskin meatball
525
00:19:57,539 --> 00:19:59,975
high off the right field
foul pole for a game-winning
526
00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:02,577
homerun to secure
another unlikely rally.
527
00:20:02,644 --> 00:20:05,313
Final score, Gaslamps win 5-4.
528
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,982
And if it's meatballs
that you like,
529
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:09,651
head on down
to the new Mama Dagmar's Diner
530
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:12,153
- where every--
- Yes. Yes, Maxie,
531
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:14,055
I saw the game. Yes.
[bird squawking]
532
00:20:14,122 --> 00:20:15,657
Yes, it was a close one.
533
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:19,294
Don't get your toga in a knot.
They won, didn't they?
534
00:20:19,394 --> 00:20:21,830
Whatever you bet
on the Lamps tonight,
535
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:24,599
let it ride.
Double it, if you can.
536
00:20:24,666 --> 00:20:28,169
Swat Fleischaker's hot streak
will hold out.
537
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,739
You can count on it.
How do I know?
538
00:20:30,805 --> 00:20:32,107
[chuckles]
539
00:20:32,173 --> 00:20:34,809
How does anyone know
anything in this town?
540
00:20:34,909 --> 00:20:38,747
Because the fix is in
on the next Gaslamps game.
541
00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:40,348
[laughs]
542
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:43,018
As I say, bet with confidence.
543
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,120
Bet the farm even, old boy.
544
00:20:45,186 --> 00:20:47,856
Does Mount Olympus have farms?
I don't even know.
545
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,425
At any rate,
the worst odds in the city
546
00:20:50,492 --> 00:20:52,460
will still pay out a fortune.
547
00:20:52,527 --> 00:20:55,096
You have my word.
548
00:20:55,163 --> 00:20:57,132
Oh, Maxie, you make rigging
549
00:20:57,198 --> 00:20:59,634
a baseball game
sound difficult.
550
00:20:59,701 --> 00:21:03,605
Nothing in Gotham City is
beyond my influence right now.
551
00:21:03,672 --> 00:21:07,042
This is a trifling
demonstration of my reach.
552
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:09,144
Are you doubting me, Maxie?
553
00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:11,980
You heard what?
Well, don't be ridiculous.
554
00:21:12,047 --> 00:21:15,717
Instability,
in my organization?
555
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:19,154
What--oh, come now,
this isn't Santa Prisca.
556
00:21:19,220 --> 00:21:21,389
This is Gotham City.
557
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:23,158
Things couldn't be better.
558
00:21:23,224 --> 00:21:24,492
[phone clicks]
[groans]
559
00:21:24,559 --> 00:21:28,296
Things couldn't be worse,
Mr. DeCondor!
560
00:21:28,363 --> 00:21:32,300
My business partner
and legal counsel is abducted.
561
00:21:32,367 --> 00:21:37,472
My crooked cops can't kill
a single psychopathic clown.
562
00:21:37,539 --> 00:21:41,509
My empire is besieged
by incompetence!
563
00:21:41,576 --> 00:21:46,081
All of my carefully laid plans
are crumbling.
564
00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:47,515
And now I have to figure out
565
00:21:47,582 --> 00:21:50,919
how to rig
a bloody baseball game
566
00:21:51,019 --> 00:21:53,521
to keep the natives
from getting restless?
567
00:21:53,588 --> 00:21:56,725
How the flying fish
am I supposed to do that?
568
00:21:56,825 --> 00:22:00,895
Prithee, Providence,
where did I do thee insult?
569
00:22:00,995 --> 00:22:02,497
Cool down, Oswald.
570
00:22:02,564 --> 00:22:03,932
You want to be
the first penguin
571
00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:05,400
to ever die of heat stroke?
572
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,835
Catwoman?
573
00:22:06,901 --> 00:22:09,771
How do you keep
getting in here?
574
00:22:09,871 --> 00:22:13,942
I am so tired of you
hospitalizing my employees.
575
00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:18,279
- Relax--I'm the answer
to your sweaty little prayers.
576
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:20,014
I heard you need
to catch a clown.
577
00:22:20,081 --> 00:22:22,784
You give me protection
from this price on my head,
578
00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:24,452
I'll get you your clown.
579
00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:27,255
narrator: Life and death
in Gotham City,
580
00:22:27,355 --> 00:22:29,124
to be continued...
581
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:33,461
"Batman:
The Audio Adventures,"
582
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:36,531
written and directed
by Dennis McNicholas.
583
00:22:36,598 --> 00:22:39,968
Batman created by Bob Kane
with Bill Finger.
584
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:42,237
Based on characters from DC.
585
00:22:42,303 --> 00:22:45,106
With performances
by Jeffrey Wright,
586
00:22:45,206 --> 00:22:48,143
Aristotle Athari,
Ike Barinholtz,
587
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:51,146
Rosario Dawson, Steve Higgins,
588
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:53,815
Toby Huss, Gillian Jacobs,
589
00:22:53,915 --> 00:22:57,051
John Leguizamo,
Dennis McNicholas,
590
00:22:57,118 --> 00:22:59,554
Tim Meadows, Seth Meyers,
591
00:22:59,621 --> 00:23:02,223
Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell,
592
00:23:02,290 --> 00:23:04,826
Katie Rich, Ben Rodgers,
593
00:23:04,926 --> 00:23:07,462
Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz,
594
00:23:07,562 --> 00:23:09,998
Brooke Shields, Brent Spiner,
595
00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:12,434
Kenan Thompson, Alan Tudyk,
596
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:15,970
Bradley Whitford,
Melissa Villaseñor,
597
00:23:16,070 --> 00:23:18,673
Eli Brueggemann, Doug Bossi,
598
00:23:18,773 --> 00:23:21,576
Ronjini Brown, Chris Gibney,
599
00:23:21,643 --> 00:23:24,112
Julie Larson, Erica Phillips,
600
00:23:24,179 --> 00:23:26,681
Rosie Phillips, Tony Phillips,
601
00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:29,184
Zoey Phillips, Deirdre Quinn,
602
00:23:29,284 --> 00:23:30,819
Robbie Wyckoff.
603
00:23:30,919 --> 00:23:34,923
Executive producers,
John Berg, Angela Petrella.
604
00:23:34,989 --> 00:23:37,325
Produced by Dennis McNicholas.
605
00:23:37,425 --> 00:23:39,594
Executives
in charge of production,
606
00:23:39,661 --> 00:23:42,330
Shaleen Desai, Peter Girardi.
607
00:23:42,430 --> 00:23:44,365
Producer, Tyler Dorson.
608
00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:46,868
Production services
by Cast Media.
609
00:23:46,968 --> 00:23:48,837
Producer, Colin Thompson.
610
00:23:48,937 --> 00:23:51,539
Coordinating producer,
DJ Lubel.
611
00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:53,675
Music by Doug Bossi.
612
00:23:53,775 --> 00:23:55,977
Sound recording, design,
and mixing
613
00:23:56,044 --> 00:23:57,512
by Big Yellow Duck.
614
00:23:57,612 --> 00:24:00,181
Sound design, mixing,
dialogue editing,
615
00:24:00,281 --> 00:24:02,851
and rerecording mixing
by Chris Gibney.
616
00:24:02,951 --> 00:24:05,453
Dialogue editing
and additional post-production
617
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,021
by Julie Larson.
618
00:24:07,121 --> 00:24:10,225
Original songs by Doug Bossi
and Tony Phillips.
619
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:12,026
The characters
and events depicted
620
00:24:12,126 --> 00:24:13,862
in this podcast are fictional.
621
00:24:13,962 --> 00:24:16,297
Any similarity
to any actual person
622
00:24:16,364 --> 00:24:19,167
living or dead
or to any actual events,
623
00:24:19,234 --> 00:24:22,704
firms, places, and
institutions or other entities
624
00:24:22,804 --> 00:24:24,973
is coincidental
and unintentional.
625
00:24:25,039 --> 00:24:27,075
This podcast is protected
under the laws
626
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:29,544
of the United States
and other countries,
627
00:24:29,644 --> 00:24:31,312
and its unauthorized
duplication,
628
00:24:31,379 --> 00:24:33,147
distribution, or exhibition
629
00:24:33,214 --> 00:24:36,651
may result in civil liability
and criminal prosecution.
630
00:24:36,718 --> 00:24:39,821
Country of first publication,
United States of America.
631
00:24:39,888 --> 00:24:41,923
"Batman:
the Audio Adventures,"
632
00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,424
copyright 2022,
633
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,393
Warner Brothers
Entertainment Incorporated.
634
00:24:45,493 --> 00:24:48,029
Batman and all related
characters and elements
635
00:24:48,096 --> 00:24:50,565
are trademark
and copyright DC.
636
00:24:50,665 --> 00:24:52,200
All rights reserved.
637
00:24:52,267 --> 00:24:55,203
[jazz music]
638
00:24:55,270 --> 00:24:56,771
♪ ♪