1 00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:10,377 Testing Track A. 2 00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:13,013 Start March 4th, 2:02 p.m. 3 00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,181 This recording is a private and confidential document 4 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,250 in accordance with the code of medical ethics 5 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,518 of the city of Gotham. 6 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,588 Patient file Dent, comma Harvey-- 7 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,323 And associate. 8 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,258 And associate. 9 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,728 Uh, introductory psychoanalytic examinations, 10 00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:31,765 attending physician, Dr. Jonathan Crane. 11 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,100 This is session number two. 12 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,770 File note, there is no surviving record 13 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,272 of session one in this series. 14 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,541 Do you wanna tell me why you destroyed 15 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:44,444 the tape machine in our first session, Harvey? 16 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:48,281 - This is our first session, Doc--session two. 17 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,216 Yes, now we can begin. 18 00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,118 - I see. - I'm sorry it had 19 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,353 to come to that, Dr. Crane. 20 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,888 But "Tea for Two" 21 00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:57,557 always means one for the pot. 22 00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,125 Hmm, tell me more about that. 23 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,561 - Oh, God, it takes two to tango, Doc. 24 00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:04,030 A fly's got two wings, right? 25 00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:05,632 'Cause y-- 26 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:09,436 'Cause you see, if you pull one of the wings off, 27 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:12,972 - the fly just goes in circles. - Hmm, I see. 28 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,375 - What he's saying, Dr. Crane, is that we can't 29 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,077 afford to go in circles today, okay? 30 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:21,648 We need to make progress. We--we know we need your help. 31 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,717 - Mm-hmm, you know, the best way for me 32 00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:29,222 to help you is to establish a bond of trust between us. 33 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:30,723 Sure, sure. 34 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:33,293 Hear, hear. Trust is paramount. 35 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:37,497 - Fabulous, then hand over your coin, please. 36 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,835 Sorry, Doc. Fat chance. 37 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:46,172 - Oh, I think there's at least a 50/50 chance, 38 00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,907 because it's not up to you. 39 00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:49,809 Isn't that right? 40 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,845 That's dirty pool, Doc. 41 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,079 Better ask the coin. 42 00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:55,748 ...the coin. 43 00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,585 Coin says yes. 44 00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,321 We--we don't argue with the coin. 45 00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:02,989 - Thank you. 46 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,592 Don't worry, I'll just place it right here on the table. 47 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,263 - Fine, fine! - Now then, session two. 48 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:13,266 We meet again for the very first time. 49 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,535 So why don't you introduce yourselves? 50 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,370 My name is Harvey Dent-- 51 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,340 And I'm the senior partner. 52 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,008 Oh, senior partner? 53 00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:24,310 But Harvey was here first, wasn't he? 54 00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,679 Wrong. Wrong. 55 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:28,214 I was here first. 56 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,717 He was. He's always been here. 57 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,485 I'm Harvey's blood. 58 00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:35,622 Do you get it? You know, the sticky red stuff. 59 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:38,057 Before college boy learned his own name, 60 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,692 I was what he knew. 61 00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:42,195 Listen, I'm all you need to know. 62 00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:44,464 He's what we all are, Doctor, 63 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:47,400 before the civilizing influences. 64 00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,172 Ah, civilize this, short pants. 65 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,473 Fascinating. 66 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,376 It's a very, very interesting story. 67 00:02:56,476 --> 00:03:00,680 But I heard a different one. It's a horror story. 68 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,484 It takes place in a courtroom-- stars you, Harvey, 69 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:09,088 a jet of pressurized acid and a hideous disfigurement. 70 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,658 - Best day of our life. - Is that so? 71 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:15,195 - That day set me free, like it was in the beginning. 72 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,931 - I don't think the acid set you free. 73 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,267 I think it found you in your hiding place. 74 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,436 - What? - I think you were hiding, 75 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,338 because you were afraid. 76 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,440 I think you're still afraid-- 77 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,509 afraid of what you would do without Harvey. 78 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,211 Hah! Like fun. 79 00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:34,747 - Do you ever wonder what if that acid had taken 80 00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:38,585 more than half of your face that terrible day? 81 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,953 What then? 82 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,589 What if when the acid had done its business, 83 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:46,192 there wasn't enough Harvey left to do the serious work? 84 00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:49,028 - Hah! Oh, it never crossed our mind. 85 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,764 - You won't let it, because it frightens you, 86 00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:54,734 doesn't it? The thought of being alone. 87 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:58,638 Let's try something. Bear with me. 88 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,108 Guess what I have here in this jug. 89 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:05,712 Oof! What fumes. 90 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:09,482 Let's just pour a splash or two into the glass. 91 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,150 - Wh--what is that? What are you doing? 92 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:15,388 - It's a 97% solution of muriatic acid, Harvey. 93 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,090 I believe that's your brand. 94 00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,791 - What--what are you gonna do with that? 95 00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:21,761 - What are you afraid I'm gonna do with it, hmm? 96 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:26,633 Tell me as I wave it around carelessly--oops! 97 00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:30,003 As the vapors burn your nostrils, 98 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,772 tell me about the fear. 99 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,175 Fear? 100 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,644 You couldn't be more wrong, Doc. 101 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:39,145 You think we got some deep trauma 102 00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:40,647 about what happened that day? 103 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,582 We're twice the man we were before. 104 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:45,852 What we became isn't some broken thing to be fixed. 105 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,756 It's something to be cleaned and oiled and reloaded. 106 00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:53,593 So sorry, Doc. Your acid doesn't scare us. 107 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,461 It made us. 108 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,930 You wanna finish the job on our face? 109 00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,465 We dare ya. 110 00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,634 Your face? 111 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,037 I am sorry. You misunderstand. 112 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,139 I don't think you fear for your face. 113 00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:08,374 I think you fear for the other handicap 114 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,210 - you acquired that day. - What? 115 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,013 - And that all it would take to reduce you to a puddle 116 00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:17,884 of quivering terror would be for me to take your coin 117 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,019 off the table like this. 118 00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,487 - And... - Wait, wait, wait, 119 00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:22,689 what are you-- 120 00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,057 Oops! Into the drink. 121 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,391 Oh, my. 122 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,226 Look at it dissolve. 123 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,295 That's muriatic acid for you. 124 00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:31,064 - What did you-- 125 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,466 - It's called aggressive intervention. 126 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,369 And why don't we stop there for this session? 127 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,404 Good progress. I think we had a breakthrough. 128 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,039 What did you do? 129 00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:42,842 Gotham, a dark syrup pouring slowly 130 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,477 from cut crystal. 131 00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,480 Join us once again for a tale of life and death 132 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,982 in Gotham City, March the third. 133 00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,919 As Penguin's grip on the police department tightens, 134 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,655 Two-Face's grip on sanity weakens, 135 00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:58,991 and his fiendish physician delights at the spectacle. 136 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,594 Yes, the celebrated 137 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,863 Dr. Jonathan Crane, psychiatrist, 138 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,265 is also the diabolical drug pusher 139 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:10,002 known as the Scarecrow, a secret he keeps safe 140 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,771 from all of Gotham City. 141 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,707 But when the world's greatest detective is on the case, 142 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,275 it is only a matter of time 143 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,011 before all secrets are revealed. 144 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,684 - The Harlequin, theater's most beloved star-crossed 145 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,285 lover and magical fool. 146 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,088 The words from the museum ricochet around 147 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,257 in the addled noodle of Harley Quinn. 148 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,760 - The Harlequin plays the most crucial role 149 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,762 in the traditional pantomime show. 150 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:38,798 Crucial, that's the word for what she's feeling. 151 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:42,235 It's crucial she become what the Joker wants her to be. 152 00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:44,303 - For Harlequin alone has the power 153 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,407 to magically transform dreary melodrama 154 00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:48,975 into madcap comedy. 155 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,777 What is life without her beloved 156 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,645 but a dreary melodrama? 157 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,647 It's up to her to bring the laughs, 158 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,950 and that all depends on finding a magic bat. 159 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,988 Yes, when the going gets tough, the weird go shopping. 160 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,457 Her search has brought her to that famous coast 161 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:07,894 of holiday pageantry, Gacey's Department Store. 162 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,997 She waits fitfully through her last moments of her journey 163 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,233 in the crowded confines of a caged elevator. 164 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,435 Fifth floor. 165 00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,336 - Hey, spread out, spinach chin. 166 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,838 You're in my no-fly zone. 167 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,007 - Cutlery, garden tools, firearms, sporting goods. 168 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,175 Hey, that's me. 169 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,976 One side, lady, one side. 170 00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:25,478 Hey, nice hat, by the way. 171 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,580 Harley's new costume is a vision. 172 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,183 All that remains is to accessorize. 173 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,485 Not content to be mere hot stuff, 174 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:35,621 she figures she's one magic baseball bat away 175 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,190 from being a knockout. 176 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,591 You, bow tie. 177 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:39,959 She makes a killer beeline 178 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,461 for the sporting goods counter. 179 00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,995 I need a baseball bat. 180 00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:45,531 I've been all over town looking for a big bat 181 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,099 with that magic feeling. 182 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,768 Should've come to us first. 183 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,670 We have the best selection in Gotham. 184 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,939 - Baseball fan? - Pally, right now, I'm living 185 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:54,307 to hear the crack of that bat. 186 00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:56,209 - So a real fanatic then? - At least! 187 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,479 I'm a fanatic, a nut, a maniac, a psycho, and a fiend. 188 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:00,980 You don't say? 189 00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,049 - Ah, they should put me in a rubber room 190 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,784 before I hurt someone. 191 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,320 Hey, hand me that big bat there, would ya? 192 00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:08,621 - Sure thing. There you go. 193 00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:09,889 Try it out. Take a few swings. 194 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,125 - Whoa, careful there. You see the game last night? 195 00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:14,460 Heard the score on the radio. 196 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,362 Sounds like good ol' Swat Fleischacker 197 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:18,965 kept it goin'. What a hittin' streak, right? 198 00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,867 - He's legendary. And he crushed the first pitch 199 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,735 he saw for a double off the wall. 200 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,037 Couldn't have been more than three feet from a homer. 201 00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,707 Then two more hits off the bullpen! 202 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,509 That bat of his is magic. 203 00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:32,411 Heard he drilled something like 100 foul balls 204 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:33,713 right into the cheap seats, 205 00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,681 and he didn't brain a single fan. 206 00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,250 No, he did, 207 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,919 but she was old and barely left the convent anymore. 208 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,488 - Another nun. What are the odds? 209 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:45,725 - How high is the body count now? - This season, eight. 210 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:48,728 Well, I heard the Gaslamps mascot recently succumbed 211 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,831 to his injuries, so eight with an asterisk. 212 00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,900 - Poor Lampy. But let's be honest. 213 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,536 A head that size is an awful big target. 214 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:57,770 Oh, sure. 215 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,438 And anyhow, on a 53-game streak, 216 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,873 you're bound to have a few accidents. 217 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,775 - Whoa, wow! Easy there. 218 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,077 - Seven more hits for the league record now. 219 00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:08,347 That slim Jim is sluggin' to beat 60, literally. 220 00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:10,449 - Careful there. You, uh-- 221 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,084 - This bat ain't working for me. 222 00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,587 - No? Now, what is it you're looking for, exactly? 223 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:17,957 - Bat--big bat that can turn a dog into a pile of sausages. 224 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,559 - Oh, a real piece of timber, huh? 225 00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:20,793 Well, this black ash is a beauty. 226 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:21,961 Let me see that. 227 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,262 - Here you go-- 228 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,697 Whoa, ha! You got quite a swing. 229 00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:26,132 Maybe take a little step back there. 230 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,466 You nearly cleaned my clock. 231 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,968 Anyhoo, how 'bout that Toots Tully? 232 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,970 - Oh, love Toots. Toots on a roll. 233 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,573 - Who knew a rookie could be such a corker? 234 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,408 A rookie with a glass eye to boot, huh? 235 00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,976 - Glass eye, steel plate in his head, 236 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,945 and a crippling fear of children and the elderly, 237 00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,813 and still hits .340-something in AA. 238 00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,582 - Yeah, that man's overcome so much. 239 00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:43,916 But Landry won't play him 240 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,418 'cause he's so in love with Hobgood. 241 00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:46,819 - Is this pine? - White birch. 242 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,221 - And which one is more bone-crushing? 243 00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:50,823 Uh, try the pine? 244 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:51,824 Look out! 245 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,092 I don't even know what 246 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,994 Hobgood's doing in there against lefties. 247 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,429 Well, that's on Landry. 248 00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:58,497 - I mean, how hard is it to fill out a lineup? 249 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,733 You do it every day and somehow it's always wrong. 250 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,102 - Must take lessons from the weatherman. 251 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,271 - I'm just a bum with a sack of peanuts. 252 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,174 Even I know we shoulda never signed Hobgood. 253 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:12,144 There's a reason you don't see a lot of 300-pound infielders. 254 00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:13,846 - You likin' the feel of that one? 255 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,247 It's pretty good. 256 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,016 This is a big honkin' bat, ain't it? 257 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,518 Feel like I could smash this entire store with it. 258 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,020 - Uh, yeah. 259 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,122 You absolutely could. Is this for softball? 260 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:26,092 - No, this is for smashing the entire store with it. 261 00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,028 Yeah, but none of these are right. 262 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,598 These are good, but I need turn-dog-into-sausages good, 263 00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,266 like Swat Fleischacker has. 264 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,002 I need that kind of boy howdy. 265 00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,704 Eh, maybe I should just get ahold of his bat. 266 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,840 - What, you're talking about Sluggerella? 267 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,808 That bat is one of a kind. 268 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,544 He's never been to the plate with any other bat. 269 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:49,315 You'd have to cave in his head with it before he'd let it go, 270 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,050 - I guess. - Well, thank you. 271 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:54,720 That's really helpful. So where can I find him? 272 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,622 - Find who, Swat Fleischacker? 273 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,691 The Lamps are out of town till the weekend. 274 00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:03,796 - Fantastic, then I got plenty of time to rescue Santy Claus. 275 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,831 - Wait, what? - I figure as long as I'm here 276 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,300 at Gacey's, I might as well rescue Santy Claus. 277 00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:10,369 You can either bring him out peaceful 278 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,904 or we do the other way. 279 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,807 - Santy Claus? But why? 280 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:17,309 - It's March. - Don't you play dumb with me. 281 00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:19,679 Everybody knows Gacey's department store 282 00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:22,248 has got Santy Claus for the kiddies every Christmas, 283 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,584 and everyone knows he's held here against his will. 284 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,919 Against his will? 285 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,055 - Just show me where you keep him locked up 286 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:31,023 when it ain't Christmas time, pally. 287 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,825 I just need proof of life here. 288 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,860 If Santy tells me everything's good, 289 00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,595 I got no beef. I go in peace. 290 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:40,366 But if you don't make with the jolly old elf pronto... 291 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,101 Somebody's taking a long 292 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,570 - winter's nap. - Security! 293 00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:48,207 Harley Quinn is one step away from her becoming. 294 00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:52,044 Next begins the courtship of the Clown Prince of Crime, 295 00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:55,948 a love story plucked from betwixt life and death 296 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,417 in Gotham City. 297 00:11:58,517 --> 00:11:59,885 - Welcome to the Monarch Theater. 298 00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:01,554 To ensure the enjoyment of all patrons, 299 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,289 we ask that you please refrain from smoking 300 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,124 as soon as it becomes hard to see the screen. 301 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,959 Now sit back and enjoy the show. 302 00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:16,068 Who knows what evil dwells 303 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,270 in the heart of the dark of the city? 304 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,306 One lone defender of the night-- 305 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,640 Look! 306 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,808 In the shadows-- 307 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,110 on the rooftops! 308 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:25,778 It's a specter. It's a shade. 309 00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,314 It's a phantom. It's an apparition. 310 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,217 It's a good thing I bought this thesaurus. 311 00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,785 It's Bat-Mite! 312 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:40,159 Argus Studios Consolidated Cartoons presents Bat-Mite in 313 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,595 "Bedtime for Baby Doll." 314 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,169 - I saw the Mite Light in the sky, Commissioner Gorgon. 315 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,972 What foul plot threatens the city, eh? 316 00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,674 - Ah, finally, Bat-Mite. Now, see here. 317 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,678 I'm going out for the evening, and I'm leaving you in charge. 318 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,347 Yes, sir, Commissioner. 319 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:05,117 I stand ready to dispense cold justice. 320 00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,853 - Good to hear it, 'cause I need the dishes washed, 321 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,989 the dog walked, the cat put out, 322 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:12,491 the squad car scrubbed, and most of all, 323 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:15,194 I need you to make sure Baby Doll 324 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,296 doesn't stay up past her bedtime. 325 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:21,767 - Oh, d'aww, do you mean this adorable tyke, Commissioner? 326 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:27,540 - Oh, ain't she a peach? Well, that's no trouble at all. 327 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,375 It better not be. 328 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,311 I've got my eye on you, Bat-Mite. 329 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,547 - Don't worry about a thing, Commissioner. 330 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,815 Leave it to-- 331 00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,384 - Me... 332 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,152 hey, uh-oh. 333 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,988 Baby Doll, take off those roller skates-- 334 00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,623 - This instant. 335 00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:47,159 You're making me very vengeful! 336 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,395 Ah, no, Baby Doll, 337 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,730 not the construction site. 338 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,635 - 'Scuse me, sir. I mean, come on. 339 00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:58,337 You don't have the theater to yourself. 340 00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,639 - Can you maybe just, uh, 341 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,908 not laugh like a maniac? 342 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:06,412 I mean, God sakes, you sound like the J-- 343 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,415 Sounds like who now, Jackson? 344 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,184 - Um, mister, I'm s-- I didn't mean to-- 345 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:16,388 I didn't realize-- 346 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,931 Ooh, it's good to laugh again. 347 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:28,033 Gotham, there's a light 348 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,602 at the end of the tunnel. 349 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,072 Unfortunately, it's a raging track fire. 350 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:36,408 Join us once again for a tale of life and death 351 00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:38,210 in Gotham City. 352 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:41,547 The Gotham Metropolitan Subway System is hundreds of miles 353 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,116 of winding darkness beneath the great city. 354 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:47,052 Nearly a century of piecemeal expansion 355 00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:49,054 has left a labyrinthine legacy 356 00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,957 of sealed tunnels, unfinished excavations, 357 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,960 and abandoned subterranean stations. 358 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,563 In one such long forgotten station, 359 00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,031 deep under the narrows, 360 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,133 the ace reporter for the "Gotham Gazette" 361 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,202 is just admitting defeat. 362 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,737 Well, this was a bust. 363 00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:06,472 Vicki Vale is tenacious, 364 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:10,109 incisive, persistent, courageous, and driven. 365 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,810 But she is not proud. 366 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,812 She rolled the dice on a long shot, 367 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,247 and it has not panned out. 368 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,649 - 2:18 a.m. 369 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,051 Still no sign of him. Am I surprised? 370 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:22,087 This was a stupid idea, and it just gets stupider 371 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:23,322 the longer I sit here waiting 372 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,391 on an abandoned subway platform. 373 00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:27,493 - If you're waiting for the uptown, Ms. Vale, 374 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,494 I have to agree. 375 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,162 The last train came through 376 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,563 about 60 years ago. 377 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:34,400 - I don't believe it. You got the message. 378 00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:35,834 You actually showed up. 379 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,670 - You're a rigorous reporter, Ms. Vale. 380 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,338 - Thank you? - So I took notice 381 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,340 when your reporting in the morning gazette included 382 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,342 an interview with a Gotham transit official 383 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,678 who has been dead for half a century. 384 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,413 - You know your transit officials. 385 00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:49,348 - I know the late Winston Munson was obsessed 386 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,618 with this subway station and the persistent bat infestation 387 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,520 that closed it decades ago. 388 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,021 Once you had my attention, 389 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,357 it was short work to decode the meeting request 390 00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,758 you'd hidden in the text. 391 00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:00,693 Here I am. 392 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,161 I hope this is important. 393 00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,129 - So now I know you're a local history buff, 394 00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,498 and a very close reader of the "Gazette," 395 00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:08,701 don't you think you're revealing a bit about yourself? 396 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,602 - My eyes are everywhere in this city. 397 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,605 You can print that exclusive. Now, what's this about? 398 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:16,308 - It's JoyCure again. - JoyCure. 399 00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,177 - The Joker toxin that ACE Chemicals 400 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,379 tried to repackage as an antidepressant. 401 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,281 - The JoyCure project is finished 402 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,316 thanks to your exposé in the "Gazette." 403 00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,952 - Yes, and ACE Chemicals is discontinuing all products 404 00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,054 derived from the Joker formulas they stole. 405 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,890 - Well, that's the good news. - It's more than good news. 406 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,193 You averted a catastrophe, Ms. Vale. 407 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,462 I analyzed a sample of JoyCure. 408 00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:38,864 It was not remotely ready for human trials. 409 00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:40,566 If that poison had hit the market, 410 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,702 we'd be overrun by giggling psychopaths within a week. 411 00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:45,404 The city owes you a debt of gratitude. 412 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,673 - I'm not expecting to collect on that, 413 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,876 but maybe you can help me out with a loose end. 414 00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:52,378 What loose end? 415 00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,580 - When I was digging in on the JoyCure story, 416 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,914 one name kept coming up. 417 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,416 I didn't think much of it at the time, 418 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,351 but it's back on my radar screen. 419 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:02,688 - What name? - Dr. Jonathan Crane. 420 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,924 - Yes, I know who he is-- a psychiatrist of note. 421 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,760 He's one of Hugo Strange's acolytes. 422 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,695 - That's right, and he wasn't just a consultant 423 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:12,931 on the JoyCure project. He was an aggressive believer. 424 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,000 - His involvement is not surprising. 425 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,703 He wrote a well-regarded monograph about the Joker. 426 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,271 He has flashy credentials. 427 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,407 ACE Chemicals would benefit from a name like that 428 00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,542 associated with the JoyCure project. 429 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,711 - Yes, he has quite the good name in his field. 430 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,112 That's why I found it strange 431 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,248 that he'd take an off-the-books job 432 00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:32,084 working for a lowlife like the Penguin. 433 00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:33,952 - Crane is working for the Penguin? 434 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,454 - I can think of only one reason 435 00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,890 he'd risk his academic reputation by slumming it 436 00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:40,225 with Oswald Cobblepot all of a sudden. 437 00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:43,362 - A chance to practice psychiatry on Harvey Dent. 438 00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,130 - Well, when you're a brilliant psychiatrist 439 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,299 looking for a challenge, that one's a double. 440 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,601 - I'll investigate. Thank you, Ms. Vale. 441 00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:51,203 - This is getting out of my depth. 442 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,473 I'm a beat reporter. I don't fight supervillains. 443 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,543 - Hmm, just claim them as personal friends. 444 00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,044 What? Come on. 445 00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:00,312 You mean Catwoman? 446 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,047 She's no villain, and you know that. 447 00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,983 - Arkham is full of miscreants that have caused this city 448 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,318 far less turmoil. 449 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,387 She's a source of indiscriminate chaos 450 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:09,721 in the underworld. 451 00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,723 I know you're friendly with Catwoman. 452 00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:13,959 If you have any influence over your friend, 453 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:15,561 I advise you to exert it. 454 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:17,830 She crossed a line with her stunt at the circus. 455 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,065 - So I should tell her you're unhappy? 456 00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,500 She knows that. 457 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,002 You should tell her there's now a price on her head. 458 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,172 The word went out on the street tonight--"Bring in the cat." 459 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:31,176 The payout is $9 million, cash on the barrel head. 460 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,611 $9 million? 461 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,180 - It's the going rate for taking nine lives. 462 00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,650 The Batman dissolves once more 463 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:42,020 into the darkness, leaving Vicki Vale standing alone 464 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,257 amidst the bats and the rats and the ruin. 465 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:48,026 In the end, will anything else be left behind? 466 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:52,698 Perhaps only the ruthless exchange of life and death 467 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,099 in Gotham City. 468 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,045 - What's up, Gotham insomniacs? 469 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,314 You are! And that means I am too. 470 00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:12,651 This is the diabolical Dr. Dulcedone reminding you 471 00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:15,220 that even in the dead of night, the lights are on 472 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,624 at WGBO in the Wee Hours Nut House. 473 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,893 It's a solid block of late night oldies 474 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,294 to keep the party swinging 475 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,897 long after the amateurs say good night. 476 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,399 Hey, if I'm gonna be up, you're gonna be up. 477 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,402 And I'm gonna be up because I don't sleep anymore! 478 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,005 That's right-- it's 26 days and counting 479 00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:35,407 since I have known a moment's slumber. 480 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,709 Would you be able to sleep if you knew the Joker 481 00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:40,145 had been in your apartment while you were gone? 482 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,080 I mean, what did he do in there? 483 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,383 Why does everything look so normal? 484 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:47,085 Is that the joke? That there is no joke? 485 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,654 I can't take it anymore. 486 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,922 If my landlord is listening, 487 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,691 consider - apartment 5 - G abandoned. 488 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,893 Keep all my belongings, Mrs. Fishbed. 489 00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:57,095 I live here now in this radio booth, 490 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,831 where we're spinning classic swing and golden oldies 491 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,701 all night long in the Wee Hours Nut House. 492 00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:05,204 Honestly, I don't know why I ever slept. 493 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,438 I feel wonderful. 494 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,877 Why does everything look so normal? 495 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,516 Life and death in Gotham City. 496 00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,017 Epilogue. 497 00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:22,287 - You're still very upset about your coin, aren't you? 498 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,022 I need the coin again. 499 00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:25,524 Again, please. 500 00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:26,592 - Don't you think you'd like to talk to me 501 00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:27,626 a little more about it? 502 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,628 We don't know! 503 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:33,732 How are we supposed to know? 504 00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,969 - I understand, Harvey. I understand. 505 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:41,873 Even the tiniest decision seems impossible to make now. 506 00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:45,043 This must be a very scary time for you both. 507 00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:49,081 So much uncertainty, so much fear. 508 00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:52,484 But I have something here that can help turn that wretched 509 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:57,623 existential terror into something gorgeous-- 510 00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:59,658 meaningful-- 511 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:00,826 a purpose. 512 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,828 It's a very special drug, Harvey. 513 00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:06,498 - I'm a bit of an artist with chemistry, 514 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:12,404 but this stuff--oh, this stuff is the Sistine Ceiling. 515 00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:16,241 Do you know that moment when someone is telling a joke, 516 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,343 and you suddenly get it? 517 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:19,845 Well, take a little of this, 518 00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:23,148 and you'll start getting jokes nobody told. 519 00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:24,616 That's right. 520 00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:27,919 Let's roll up that sleeve for me, if you would. 521 00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:30,022 Now, you're gonna feel a pinprick. 522 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:33,025 - Ooh! - There, now, Harvey, relax. 523 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:38,263 Let JoyCure put a smile in your brain. 524 00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,799 Life and death in Gotham City-- 525 00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:44,202 to be continued... 526 00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:49,007 The Audio Adventures," 527 00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:52,044 written and directed by Dennis McNicholas. 528 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,480 Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger. 529 00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:57,716 Based on characters from DC. 530 00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:00,552 With performances by Jeffrey Wright, 531 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,655 Aristotle Athari, Ike Barinholtz, 532 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:06,658 Rosario Dawson, Steve Higgins, 533 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,361 Toby Huss, Gillian Jacobs, 534 00:22:09,461 --> 00:22:12,064 John Leguizamo, Dennis McNicholas. 535 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,800 Tim Meadows, Seth Meyers, 536 00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:17,502 Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell, 537 00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:20,072 Katie Rich, Ben Rogers, 538 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:22,708 Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz, 539 00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:25,243 Brooke Shields, Brent Spiner, 540 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,679 Kenan Thompson, Alan Tudyk, 541 00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:31,216 Bradley Whitford, Melissa Villaseñor, 542 00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:33,919 Eli Brueggemann, Doug Bossi, 543 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,822 Ronjini Brown, Chris Gibney, 544 00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:39,358 Julie Larson, Erica Phillips, 545 00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:41,927 Rosie Phillips, Tony Phillips, 546 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:44,429 Zoey Phillips, Deirdre Quinn, 547 00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:46,064 Robbie Wyckoff. 548 00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:50,168 Executive producers, John Berg, Angela Petrella. 549 00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:52,571 Produced by Dennis McNicholas. 550 00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:54,840 Executives in charge of production, 551 00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:57,576 Shaleen Desae, Peter Girardi. 552 00:22:57,676 --> 00:22:59,611 Producer, Tyler Dorson. 553 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,114 Production services by Cast Media. 554 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,082 Producer, Colin Thompson. 555 00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:06,785 Coordinating producer, DJ Lubel. 556 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,920 Music by Doug Bossi. 557 00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:11,223 Sound recording, design, and mixing 558 00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:12,758 by Big Yellow Duck. 559 00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:15,427 Sound design, mixing, dialogue editing, 560 00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:18,063 and rerecording mixing by Chris Gibney. 561 00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:20,632 Dialogue editing and additional post-production 562 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,267 by Julie Larson. 563 00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:25,537 Original songs by Doug Bossi and Tony Phillips. 564 00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:27,272 The characters and events depicted 565 00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:29,107 in this podcast are fictional. 566 00:23:29,207 --> 00:23:31,543 Any similarity to any actual person 567 00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:34,413 living or dead or to any actual events, 568 00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:37,949 firms, places, and institutions or other entities 569 00:23:38,049 --> 00:23:40,218 is coincidental and unintentional. 570 00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:42,320 This podcast is protected under the laws 571 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,790 of the United States and other countries, 572 00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,558 and its unauthorized duplication, 573 00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:48,393 distribution, or exhibition 574 00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,897 may result in civil liability and criminal prosecution. 575 00:23:51,963 --> 00:23:55,066 Country of first publication, United States of America. 576 00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:57,102 The Audio Adventures," 577 00:23:57,169 --> 00:24:00,639 copyright 2022 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. 578 00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:03,275 Batman and all related characters and elements 579 00:24:03,341 --> 00:24:05,811 are trademark and copyright DC. 580 00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:07,446 All rights reserved.