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Testing Track A.
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00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:13,013
Start March 4th, 2:02 p.m.
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00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:15,181
This recording is a private
and confidential document
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in accordance with the code
of medical ethics
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00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,518
of the city of Gotham.
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Patient file Dent,
comma Harvey--
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And associate.
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And associate.
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00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,728
Uh, introductory
psychoanalytic examinations,
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00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:31,765
attending physician,
Dr. Jonathan Crane.
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00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,100
This is session number two.
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File note,
there is no surviving record
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00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,272
of session one in this series.
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Do you wanna tell me
why you destroyed
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00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:44,444
the tape machine
in our first session, Harvey?
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- This is our first session,
Doc--session two.
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00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,216
Yes, now we can begin.
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00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,118
- I see.
- I'm sorry it had
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00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,353
to come to that, Dr. Crane.
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00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,888
But "Tea for Two"
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00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:57,557
always means one for the pot.
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Hmm, tell me more about that.
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- Oh, God,
it takes two to tango, Doc.
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A fly's got two wings, right?
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'Cause y--
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'Cause you see, if you pull
one of the wings off,
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- the fly just goes in circles.
- Hmm, I see.
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00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,375
- What he's saying,
Dr. Crane, is that we can't
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00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,077
afford to go in circles today,
okay?
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We need to make progress.
We--we know we need your help.
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00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,717
- Mm-hmm, you know,
the best way for me
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00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:29,222
to help you is to establish
a bond of trust between us.
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Sure, sure.
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Hear, hear.
Trust is paramount.
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00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:37,497
- Fabulous, then hand over
your coin, please.
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00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,835
Sorry, Doc. Fat chance.
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00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:46,172
- Oh, I think there's
at least a 50/50 chance,
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because it's not up to you.
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Isn't that right?
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00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,845
That's dirty pool, Doc.
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00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,079
Better ask the coin.
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00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:55,748
...the coin.
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00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:58,585
Coin says yes.
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00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,321
We--we don't
argue with the coin.
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00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:02,989
- Thank you.
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00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,592
Don't worry, I'll just place it
right here on the table.
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00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,263
- Fine, fine!
- Now then, session two.
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00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:13,266
We meet again
for the very first time.
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00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,535
So why don't you
introduce yourselves?
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00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,370
My name is Harvey Dent--
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00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,340
And I'm the senior partner.
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Oh, senior partner?
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00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:24,310
But Harvey was here first,
wasn't he?
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Wrong. Wrong.
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I was here first.
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He was. He's always been here.
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I'm Harvey's blood.
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Do you get it?
You know, the sticky red stuff.
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Before college boy learned
his own name,
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I was what he knew.
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00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:42,195
Listen,
I'm all you need to know.
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He's what we all are, Doctor,
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before
the civilizing influences.
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Ah, civilize this, short pants.
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Fascinating.
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00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,376
It's a very,
very interesting story.
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00:02:56,476 --> 00:03:00,680
But I heard a different one.
It's a horror story.
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00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,484
It takes place in a courtroom--
stars you, Harvey,
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00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:09,088
a jet of pressurized acid
and a hideous disfigurement.
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00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,658
- Best day of our life.
- Is that so?
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00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:15,195
- That day set me free,
like it was in the beginning.
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- I don't think
the acid set you free.
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00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,267
I think it found you
in your hiding place.
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00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,436
- What?
- I think you were hiding,
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00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,338
because you were afraid.
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I think you're still afraid--
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afraid of what you would do
without Harvey.
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00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,211
Hah! Like fun.
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00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:34,747
- Do you ever wonder
what if that acid had taken
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00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:38,585
more than half of your face
that terrible day?
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00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,953
What then?
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00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,589
What if when the acid
had done its business,
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00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:46,192
there wasn't enough Harvey
left to do the serious work?
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00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:49,028
- Hah!
Oh, it never crossed our mind.
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00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,764
- You won't let it,
because it frightens you,
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00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:54,734
doesn't it?
The thought of being alone.
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00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:58,638
Let's try something.
Bear with me.
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00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,108
Guess what I have
here in this jug.
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00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:05,712
Oof!
What fumes.
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00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:09,482
Let's just pour a splash
or two into the glass.
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00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,150
- Wh--what is that?
What are you doing?
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00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:15,388
- It's a 97% solution
of muriatic acid, Harvey.
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00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,090
I believe that's your brand.
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00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,791
- What--what
are you gonna do with that?
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00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:21,761
- What are you afraid
I'm gonna do with it, hmm?
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00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:26,633
Tell me as I wave it
around carelessly--oops!
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00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:30,003
As the vapors
burn your nostrils,
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tell me about the fear.
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00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,175
Fear?
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00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,644
You couldn't be more wrong,
Doc.
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You think we got
some deep trauma
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about what happened that day?
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00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,582
We're twice the man
we were before.
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What we became isn't some
broken thing to be fixed.
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00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,756
It's something to be cleaned
and oiled and reloaded.
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00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:53,593
So sorry, Doc.
Your acid doesn't scare us.
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00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,461
It made us.
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00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:57,930
You wanna finish the job
on our face?
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We dare ya.
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Your face?
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00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,037
I am sorry. You misunderstand.
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I don't think you fear
for your face.
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I think you fear
for the other handicap
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- you acquired that day.
- What?
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00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,013
- And that all it would take
to reduce you to a puddle
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00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:17,884
of quivering terror would be
for me to take your coin
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00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,019
off the table like this.
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00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,487
- And...
- Wait, wait, wait,
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what are you--
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00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,057
Oops! Into the drink.
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00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,391
Oh, my.
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Look at it dissolve.
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That's muriatic acid for you.
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00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:31,064
- What did you--
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00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,466
- It's called
aggressive intervention.
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00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,369
And why don't we stop there
for this session?
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Good progress.
I think we had a breakthrough.
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00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,039
What did you do?
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00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:42,842
Gotham,
a dark syrup pouring slowly
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from cut crystal.
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Join us once again
for a tale of life and death
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00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,982
in Gotham City,
March the third.
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00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,919
As Penguin's grip on the
police department tightens,
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00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,655
Two-Face's grip
on sanity weakens,
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and his fiendish physician
delights at the spectacle.
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Yes, the celebrated
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00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,863
Dr. Jonathan Crane,
psychiatrist,
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00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,265
is also
the diabolical drug pusher
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00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:10,002
known as the Scarecrow,
a secret he keeps safe
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00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,771
from all of Gotham City.
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00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,707
But when the world's greatest
detective is on the case,
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00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,275
it is only a matter of time
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00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,011
before all secrets
are revealed.
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- The Harlequin, theater's
most beloved star-crossed
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lover and magical fool.
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The words from
the museum ricochet around
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00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,257
in the addled noodle
of Harley Quinn.
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00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,760
- The Harlequin plays
the most crucial role
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00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,762
in the traditional
pantomime show.
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00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:38,798
Crucial, that's the
word for what she's feeling.
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00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:42,235
It's crucial she become what
the Joker wants her to be.
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- For Harlequin alone
has the power
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to magically transform
dreary melodrama
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00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:48,975
into madcap comedy.
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00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,777
What is life
without her beloved
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00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,645
but a dreary melodrama?
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00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,647
It's up to her
to bring the laughs,
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00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,950
and that all depends
on finding a magic bat.
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Yes, when the going gets
tough, the weird go shopping.
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00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,457
Her search has brought her
to that famous coast
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00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:07,894
of holiday pageantry,
Gacey's Department Store.
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She waits fitfully through her
last moments of her journey
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in the crowded confines
of a caged elevator.
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Fifth floor.
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00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,336
- Hey, spread out,
spinach chin.
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00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,838
You're in my no-fly zone.
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00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,007
- Cutlery, garden tools,
firearms, sporting goods.
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00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,175
Hey, that's me.
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00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,976
One side, lady, one side.
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00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:25,478
Hey, nice hat, by the way.
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00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,580
Harley's
new costume is a vision.
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All that remains
is to accessorize.
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00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,485
Not content to be
mere hot stuff,
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00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:35,621
she figures she's one
magic baseball bat away
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00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,190
from being a knockout.
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00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,591
You, bow tie.
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00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:39,959
She makes
a killer beeline
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00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,461
for the
sporting goods counter.
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00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,995
I need a baseball bat.
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00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:45,531
I've been all over town
looking for a big bat
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00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,099
with that magic feeling.
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00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,768
Should've come to us first.
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00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,670
We have the best selection
in Gotham.
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00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,939
- Baseball fan?
- Pally, right now, I'm living
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00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:54,307
to hear the crack of that bat.
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00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:56,209
- So a real fanatic then?
- At least!
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00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,479
I'm a fanatic, a nut, a maniac,
a psycho, and a fiend.
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00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:00,980
You don't say?
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00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,049
- Ah, they should put me
in a rubber room
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00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,784
before I hurt someone.
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00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,320
Hey, hand me that big bat
there, would ya?
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00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:08,621
- Sure thing.
There you go.
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00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:09,889
Try it out.
Take a few swings.
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00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,125
- Whoa, careful there.
You see the game last night?
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00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:14,460
Heard the score on the radio.
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00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,362
Sounds like good ol'
Swat Fleischacker
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00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:18,965
kept it goin'.
What a hittin' streak, right?
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00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,867
- He's legendary.
And he crushed the first pitch
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00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,735
he saw for a double
off the wall.
200
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,037
Couldn't have been more
than three feet from a homer.
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00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:27,707
Then two more hits
off the bullpen!
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00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,509
That bat of his is magic.
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00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:32,411
Heard he drilled something
like 100 foul balls
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00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:33,713
right into the cheap seats,
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00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,681
and he didn't brain
a single fan.
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00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,250
No, he did,
207
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,919
but she was old and barely
left the convent anymore.
208
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,488
- Another nun.
What are the odds?
209
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:45,725
- How high is the body count now?
- This season, eight.
210
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:48,728
Well, I heard the Gaslamps
mascot recently succumbed
211
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,831
to his injuries,
so eight with an asterisk.
212
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,900
- Poor Lampy.
But let's be honest.
213
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,536
A head that size
is an awful big target.
214
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:57,770
Oh, sure.
215
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,438
And anyhow,
on a 53-game streak,
216
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,873
you're bound to have
a few accidents.
217
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,775
- Whoa, wow! Easy there.
218
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,077
- Seven more hits
for the league record now.
219
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:08,347
That slim Jim is sluggin'
to beat 60, literally.
220
00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:10,449
- Careful there. You, uh--
221
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,084
- This bat ain't working
for me.
222
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,587
- No? Now, what is it
you're looking for, exactly?
223
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:17,957
- Bat--big bat that can turn
a dog into a pile of sausages.
224
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,559
- Oh, a real piece of timber,
huh?
225
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:20,793
Well, this black ash
is a beauty.
226
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:21,961
Let me see that.
227
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,262
- Here you go--
228
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,697
Whoa, ha!
You got quite a swing.
229
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:26,132
Maybe take
a little step back there.
230
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,466
You nearly cleaned my clock.
231
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,968
Anyhoo, how 'bout that
Toots Tully?
232
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,970
- Oh, love Toots.
Toots on a roll.
233
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,573
- Who knew a rookie
could be such a corker?
234
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:35,408
A rookie with a glass eye
to boot, huh?
235
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,976
- Glass eye,
steel plate in his head,
236
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,945
and a crippling fear of
children and the elderly,
237
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,813
and still hits .340-something
in AA.
238
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,582
- Yeah, that man's
overcome so much.
239
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:43,916
But Landry won't play him
240
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,418
'cause he's so in love
with Hobgood.
241
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:46,819
- Is this pine?
- White birch.
242
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:49,221
- And which one
is more bone-crushing?
243
00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:50,823
Uh, try the pine?
244
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:51,824
Look out!
245
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,092
I don't even know what
246
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,994
Hobgood's doing in there
against lefties.
247
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,429
Well, that's on Landry.
248
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:58,497
- I mean, how hard is it
to fill out a lineup?
249
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,733
You do it every day
and somehow it's always wrong.
250
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,102
- Must take lessons
from the weatherman.
251
00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:05,271
- I'm just a bum
with a sack of peanuts.
252
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,174
Even I know we shoulda never
signed Hobgood.
253
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:12,144
There's a reason you don't see
a lot of 300-pound infielders.
254
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:13,846
- You likin' the feel
of that one?
255
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,247
It's pretty good.
256
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,016
This is a big honkin' bat,
ain't it?
257
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,518
Feel like I could smash
this entire store with it.
258
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,020
- Uh, yeah.
259
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,122
You absolutely could.
Is this for softball?
260
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:26,092
- No, this is for smashing
the entire store with it.
261
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,028
Yeah, but none
of these are right.
262
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,598
These are good, but I need
turn-dog-into-sausages good,
263
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,266
like Swat Fleischacker has.
264
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,002
I need that kind of boy howdy.
265
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,704
Eh, maybe I should
just get ahold of his bat.
266
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,840
- What, you're talking
about Sluggerella?
267
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,808
That bat is one of a kind.
268
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,544
He's never been to the plate
with any other bat.
269
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:49,315
You'd have to cave in his head
with it before he'd let it go,
270
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,050
- I guess.
- Well, thank you.
271
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:54,720
That's really helpful.
So where can I find him?
272
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,622
- Find who,
Swat Fleischacker?
273
00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,691
The Lamps are out of town
till the weekend.
274
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:03,796
- Fantastic, then I got plenty
of time to rescue Santy Claus.
275
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,831
- Wait, what?
- I figure as long as I'm here
276
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,300
at Gacey's, I might as well
rescue Santy Claus.
277
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:10,369
You can either
bring him out peaceful
278
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,904
or we do the other way.
279
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,807
- Santy Claus?
But why?
280
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:17,309
- It's March.
- Don't you play dumb with me.
281
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:19,679
Everybody knows
Gacey's department store
282
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:22,248
has got Santy Claus for
the kiddies every Christmas,
283
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,584
and everyone knows he's held
here against his will.
284
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,919
Against his will?
285
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,055
- Just show me where you
keep him locked up
286
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:31,023
when it ain't
Christmas time, pally.
287
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,825
I just need proof of life here.
288
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,860
If Santy tells me
everything's good,
289
00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,595
I got no beef.
I go in peace.
290
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:40,366
But if you don't make with the
jolly old elf pronto...
291
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,101
Somebody's taking a long
292
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,570
- winter's nap.
- Security!
293
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:48,207
Harley Quinn is one
step away from her becoming.
294
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:52,044
Next begins the courtship
of the Clown Prince of Crime,
295
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:55,948
a love story plucked
from betwixt life and death
296
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,417
in Gotham City.
297
00:11:58,517 --> 00:11:59,885
- Welcome
to the Monarch Theater.
298
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:01,554
To ensure the enjoyment
of all patrons,
299
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,289
we ask that you please
refrain from smoking
300
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,124
as soon as it becomes hard
to see the screen.
301
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,959
Now sit back
and enjoy the show.
302
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:16,068
Who knows what evil dwells
303
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:18,270
in the heart
of the dark of the city?
304
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,306
One lone defender
of the night--
305
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:21,640
Look!
306
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,808
In the shadows--
307
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,110
on the rooftops!
308
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:25,778
It's a specter.
It's a shade.
309
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,314
It's a phantom.
It's an apparition.
310
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,217
It's a good thing
I bought this thesaurus.
311
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,785
It's Bat-Mite!
312
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:40,159
Argus Studios Consolidated
Cartoons presents Bat-Mite in
313
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,595
"Bedtime for Baby Doll."
314
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,169
- I saw the Mite Light in
the sky, Commissioner Gorgon.
315
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,972
What foul plot
threatens the city, eh?
316
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,674
- Ah, finally, Bat-Mite.
Now, see here.
317
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,678
I'm going out for the evening,
and I'm leaving you in charge.
318
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,347
Yes, sir, Commissioner.
319
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:05,117
I stand ready
to dispense cold justice.
320
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,853
- Good to hear it, 'cause
I need the dishes washed,
321
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,989
the dog walked,
the cat put out,
322
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:12,491
the squad car scrubbed,
and most of all,
323
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:15,194
I need you to make sure
Baby Doll
324
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,296
doesn't stay up
past her bedtime.
325
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:21,767
- Oh, d'aww, do you mean this
adorable tyke, Commissioner?
326
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:27,540
- Oh, ain't she a peach?
Well, that's no trouble at all.
327
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,375
It better not be.
328
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,311
I've got my eye on you,
Bat-Mite.
329
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,547
- Don't worry about a thing,
Commissioner.
330
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,815
Leave it to--
331
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,384
- Me...
332
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,152
hey, uh-oh.
333
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,988
Baby Doll,
take off those roller skates--
334
00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,623
- This instant.
335
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:47,159
You're making me
very vengeful!
336
00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,395
Ah, no, Baby Doll,
337
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,730
not the construction site.
338
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,635
- 'Scuse me, sir.
I mean, come on.
339
00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:58,337
You don't
have the theater to yourself.
340
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,639
- Can you maybe just, uh,
341
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,908
not laugh like a maniac?
342
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:06,412
I mean, God sakes,
you sound like the J--
343
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:09,415
Sounds like who now, Jackson?
344
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,184
- Um, mister, I'm s--
I didn't mean to--
345
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:16,388
I didn't realize--
346
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,931
Ooh, it's good to laugh again.
347
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:28,033
Gotham, there's a light
348
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,602
at the end of the tunnel.
349
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,072
Unfortunately,
it's a raging track fire.
350
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:36,408
Join us once again
for a tale of life and death
351
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:38,210
in Gotham City.
352
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:41,547
The Gotham Metropolitan Subway
System is hundreds of miles
353
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,116
of winding darkness
beneath the great city.
354
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:47,052
Nearly a century
of piecemeal expansion
355
00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:49,054
has left a labyrinthine legacy
356
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,957
of sealed tunnels,
unfinished excavations,
357
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,960
and abandoned
subterranean stations.
358
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,563
In one such
long forgotten station,
359
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,031
deep under the narrows,
360
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,133
the ace reporter
for the "Gotham Gazette"
361
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,202
is just admitting defeat.
362
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,737
Well, this was a bust.
363
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:06,472
Vicki Vale is tenacious,
364
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:10,109
incisive, persistent,
courageous, and driven.
365
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,810
But she is not proud.
366
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,812
She rolled the dice
on a long shot,
367
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,247
and it has not panned out.
368
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,649
- 2:18 a.m.
369
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,051
Still no sign of him.
Am I surprised?
370
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:22,087
This was a stupid idea,
and it just gets stupider
371
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:23,322
the longer I sit here waiting
372
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,391
on an abandoned
subway platform.
373
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:27,493
- If you're waiting
for the uptown, Ms. Vale,
374
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,494
I have to agree.
375
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,162
The last train came through
376
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,563
about 60 years ago.
377
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:34,400
- I don't believe it.
You got the message.
378
00:15:34,466 --> 00:15:35,834
You actually showed up.
379
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,670
- You're a rigorous reporter,
Ms. Vale.
380
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,338
- Thank you?
- So I took notice
381
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,340
when your reporting in
the morning gazette included
382
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,342
an interview
with a Gotham transit official
383
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,678
who has been dead
for half a century.
384
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,413
- You know
your transit officials.
385
00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:49,348
- I know the late
Winston Munson was obsessed
386
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,618
with this subway station and
the persistent bat infestation
387
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,520
that closed it decades ago.
388
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,021
Once you had my attention,
389
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,357
it was short work to decode
the meeting request
390
00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,758
you'd hidden in the text.
391
00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:00,693
Here I am.
392
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,161
I hope this is important.
393
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:04,129
- So now I know
you're a local history buff,
394
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,498
and a very close reader
of the "Gazette,"
395
00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:08,701
don't you think you're
revealing a bit about yourself?
396
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,602
- My eyes are everywhere
in this city.
397
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,605
You can print that exclusive.
Now, what's this about?
398
00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:16,308
- It's JoyCure again.
- JoyCure.
399
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,177
- The Joker toxin
that ACE Chemicals
400
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,379
tried to repackage
as an antidepressant.
401
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,281
- The JoyCure project
is finished
402
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,316
thanks to your exposé
in the "Gazette."
403
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,952
- Yes, and ACE Chemicals is
discontinuing all products
404
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,054
derived from the Joker formulas
they stole.
405
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,890
- Well, that's the good news.
- It's more than good news.
406
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,193
You averted a catastrophe,
Ms. Vale.
407
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,462
I analyzed a sample of JoyCure.
408
00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:38,864
It was not remotely ready
for human trials.
409
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:40,566
If that poison
had hit the market,
410
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,702
we'd be overrun by giggling
psychopaths within a week.
411
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:45,404
The city owes you
a debt of gratitude.
412
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,673
- I'm not expecting
to collect on that,
413
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,876
but maybe you can
help me out with a loose end.
414
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:52,378
What loose end?
415
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,580
- When I was digging in
on the JoyCure story,
416
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,914
one name kept coming up.
417
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,416
I didn't think
much of it at the time,
418
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,351
but it's back
on my radar screen.
419
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:02,688
- What name?
- Dr. Jonathan Crane.
420
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,924
- Yes, I know who he is--
a psychiatrist of note.
421
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,760
He's one
of Hugo Strange's acolytes.
422
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,695
- That's right,
and he wasn't just a consultant
423
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:12,931
on the JoyCure project.
He was an aggressive believer.
424
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,000
- His involvement
is not surprising.
425
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,703
He wrote a well-regarded
monograph about the Joker.
426
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,271
He has flashy credentials.
427
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,407
ACE Chemicals would benefit
from a name like that
428
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,542
associated with
the JoyCure project.
429
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,711
- Yes, he has quite
the good name in his field.
430
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,112
That's why I found it strange
431
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,248
that he'd take
an off-the-books job
432
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:32,084
working for a lowlife
like the Penguin.
433
00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:33,952
- Crane is working
for the Penguin?
434
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,454
- I can think
of only one reason
435
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,890
he'd risk his academic
reputation by slumming it
436
00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:40,225
with Oswald Cobblepot
all of a sudden.
437
00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:43,362
- A chance to practice
psychiatry on Harvey Dent.
438
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,130
- Well, when you're
a brilliant psychiatrist
439
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,299
looking for a challenge,
that one's a double.
440
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,601
- I'll investigate.
Thank you, Ms. Vale.
441
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:51,203
- This is getting
out of my depth.
442
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:54,473
I'm a beat reporter.
I don't fight supervillains.
443
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,543
- Hmm, just claim them
as personal friends.
444
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,044
What? Come on.
445
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:00,312
You mean Catwoman?
446
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,047
She's no villain,
and you know that.
447
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,983
- Arkham is full of miscreants
that have caused this city
448
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,318
far less turmoil.
449
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,387
She's a source of
indiscriminate chaos
450
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:09,721
in the underworld.
451
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,723
I know
you're friendly with Catwoman.
452
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:13,959
If you have any influence
over your friend,
453
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:15,561
I advise you to exert it.
454
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:17,830
She crossed a line
with her stunt at the circus.
455
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,065
- So I should tell her
you're unhappy?
456
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,500
She knows that.
457
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,002
You should tell her there's
now a price on her head.
458
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,172
The word went out on the street
tonight--"Bring in the cat."
459
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:31,176
The payout is $9 million,
cash on the barrel head.
460
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,611
$9 million?
461
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,180
- It's the going rate
for taking nine lives.
462
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,650
The Batman dissolves once more
463
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:42,020
into the darkness, leaving
Vicki Vale standing alone
464
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,257
amidst the bats
and the rats and the ruin.
465
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:48,026
In the end, will anything else
be left behind?
466
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:52,698
Perhaps only the ruthless
exchange of life and death
467
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,099
in Gotham City.
468
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,045
- What's up,
Gotham insomniacs?
469
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,314
You are!
And that means I am too.
470
00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:12,651
This is the diabolical
Dr. Dulcedone reminding you
471
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:15,220
that even in the dead
of night, the lights are on
472
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,624
at WGBO in
the Wee Hours Nut House.
473
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,893
It's a solid block
of late night oldies
474
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,294
to keep the party swinging
475
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,897
long after the amateurs
say good night.
476
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,399
Hey, if I'm gonna be up,
you're gonna be up.
477
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,402
And I'm gonna be up
because I don't sleep anymore!
478
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,005
That's right--
it's 26 days and counting
479
00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:35,407
since I have known
a moment's slumber.
480
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,709
Would you be able to sleep
if you knew the Joker
481
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:40,145
had been in your apartment
while you were gone?
482
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,080
I mean,
what did he do in there?
483
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,383
Why does everything
look so normal?
484
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:47,085
Is that the joke?
That there is no joke?
485
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,654
I can't take it anymore.
486
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,922
If my landlord is listening,
487
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,691
consider
- apartment 5
- G abandoned.
488
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,893
Keep all my belongings,
Mrs. Fishbed.
489
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:57,095
I live here now
in this radio booth,
490
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,831
where we're spinning classic
swing and golden oldies
491
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,701
all night long
in the Wee Hours Nut House.
492
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:05,204
Honestly,
I don't know why I ever slept.
493
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,438
I feel wonderful.
494
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,877
Why does
everything look so normal?
495
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,516
Life and death
in Gotham City.
496
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,017
Epilogue.
497
00:20:19,084 --> 00:20:22,287
- You're still very upset
about your coin, aren't you?
498
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,022
I need the coin again.
499
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:25,524
Again, please.
500
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:26,592
- Don't you think
you'd like to talk to me
501
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:27,626
a little more about it?
502
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,628
We don't know!
503
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:33,732
How are we supposed to know?
504
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,969
- I understand, Harvey.
I understand.
505
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:41,873
Even the tiniest decision
seems impossible to make now.
506
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:45,043
This must be a very
scary time for you both.
507
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:49,081
So much uncertainty,
so much fear.
508
00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:52,484
But I have something here that
can help turn that wretched
509
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:57,623
existential terror
into something gorgeous--
510
00:20:57,723 --> 00:20:59,658
meaningful--
511
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:00,826
a purpose.
512
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,828
It's a very special drug,
Harvey.
513
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:06,498
- I'm a bit of an artist
with chemistry,
514
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:12,404
but this stuff--oh, this stuff
is the Sistine Ceiling.
515
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:16,241
Do you know that moment when
someone is telling a joke,
516
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,343
and you suddenly get it?
517
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:19,845
Well, take a little of this,
518
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:23,148
and you'll start
getting jokes nobody told.
519
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:24,616
That's right.
520
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:27,919
Let's roll up that sleeve
for me, if you would.
521
00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:30,022
Now, you're gonna
feel a pinprick.
522
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:33,025
- Ooh!
- There, now, Harvey, relax.
523
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:38,263
Let JoyCure
put a smile in your brain.
524
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,799
Life and death
in Gotham City--
525
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:44,202
to be continued...
526
00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:49,007
The Audio Adventures,"
527
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:52,044
written and directed
by Dennis McNicholas.
528
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,480
Batman created by Bob Kane
with Bill Finger.
529
00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:57,716
Based on characters from DC.
530
00:21:57,816 --> 00:22:00,552
With performances
by Jeffrey Wright,
531
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,655
Aristotle Athari,
Ike Barinholtz,
532
00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:06,658
Rosario Dawson, Steve Higgins,
533
00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,361
Toby Huss, Gillian Jacobs,
534
00:22:09,461 --> 00:22:12,064
John Leguizamo,
Dennis McNicholas.
535
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,800
Tim Meadows, Seth Meyers,
536
00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:17,502
Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell,
537
00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:20,072
Katie Rich, Ben Rogers,
538
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:22,708
Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz,
539
00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:25,243
Brooke Shields, Brent Spiner,
540
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,679
Kenan Thompson, Alan Tudyk,
541
00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:31,216
Bradley Whitford,
Melissa Villaseñor,
542
00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:33,919
Eli Brueggemann, Doug Bossi,
543
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,822
Ronjini Brown, Chris Gibney,
544
00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:39,358
Julie Larson, Erica Phillips,
545
00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:41,927
Rosie Phillips, Tony Phillips,
546
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:44,429
Zoey Phillips, Deirdre Quinn,
547
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:46,064
Robbie Wyckoff.
548
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:50,168
Executive producers,
John Berg, Angela Petrella.
549
00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:52,571
Produced by Dennis McNicholas.
550
00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:54,840
Executives
in charge of production,
551
00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:57,576
Shaleen Desae, Peter Girardi.
552
00:22:57,676 --> 00:22:59,611
Producer, Tyler Dorson.
553
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,114
Production services
by Cast Media.
554
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,082
Producer, Colin Thompson.
555
00:23:04,182 --> 00:23:06,785
Coordinating producer,
DJ Lubel.
556
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,920
Music by Doug Bossi.
557
00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:11,223
Sound recording, design,
and mixing
558
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:12,758
by Big Yellow Duck.
559
00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:15,427
Sound design, mixing,
dialogue editing,
560
00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:18,063
and rerecording mixing
by Chris Gibney.
561
00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:20,632
Dialogue editing and
additional post-production
562
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,267
by Julie Larson.
563
00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:25,537
Original songs by Doug Bossi
and Tony Phillips.
564
00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:27,272
The characters and events
depicted
565
00:23:27,372 --> 00:23:29,107
in this podcast are fictional.
566
00:23:29,207 --> 00:23:31,543
Any similarity
to any actual person
567
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:34,413
living or dead
or to any actual events,
568
00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:37,949
firms, places, and
institutions or other entities
569
00:23:38,049 --> 00:23:40,218
is coincidental
and unintentional.
570
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:42,320
This podcast is protected
under the laws
571
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,790
of the United States
and other countries,
572
00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,558
and its unauthorized
duplication,
573
00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:48,393
distribution, or exhibition
574
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,897
may result in civil liability
and criminal prosecution.
575
00:23:51,963 --> 00:23:55,066
Country of first publication,
United States of America.
576
00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:57,102
The Audio Adventures,"
577
00:23:57,169 --> 00:24:00,639
copyright 2022 Warner Bros.
Entertainment Inc.
578
00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:03,275
Batman and all related
characters and elements
579
00:24:03,341 --> 00:24:05,811
are trademark
and copyright DC.
580
00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:07,446
All rights reserved.