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- Room 609, voice mailbox.
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- Wednesday, March 3rd.
- Good evening, Mr. Sawfield.
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This is the concierge
at the front desk.
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May I again say as great fans
of the sport of baseball
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how proud we are to be hosting
the Central City Demons here
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at the Gotham Grand Hotel.
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While we can't go as far
as to wish you luck
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against our hometown Gaslamps,
we nevertheless do hope
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you enjoy your stay
to its fullest.
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Please hold
for a private message.
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- Bonsoir, Mr. Sawfield,
and welcome to Gotham!
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This is Oswald Cobblepot,
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a humble admirer of
your remarkable athleticism.
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Oh, every baseball team
has a star pitcher,
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but "Lucky Bucky" Sawfield
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truly belongs
in the firmament.
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If you have no other
engagements this evening,
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perhaps you and your teammates
would join me at my casino
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for a night of
good sportsmanship
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before the game tomorrow.
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I'm correct you enjoy games
of skill and chance, yes?
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I'll send the cars
around 7:00.
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- Thursday, March 4th.
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- Good morning, Mr. Sawfield.
Congratulations.
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I understand your namesake
luck was plentiful
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at the Iceberg last night.
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I've received
your maintenance request.
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So sorry to hear
you're having difficulties
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accessing your in-room
lockbox safe.
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You no doubt wish to
secure your winnings.
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I will send someone to
investigate right away.
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Please hold for
one new message.
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- Well, Mr. Sawfield,
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we know now for certain
that they don't call you
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"Lucky Bucky" for naught, eh?
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Oswald Cobblepot here.
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May I say it was
an authentic honor
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to have you
as my guest last night
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and I trust you enjoyed
the champagne I sent over.
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Both cases of it.
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And don't worry at all
about the bit of--
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fisticuffs you found
yourself in.
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We here in Gotham understand
what "painting the town red"
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sometimes means.
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Though it's a shame
you suffered such a physical
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and public altercation
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with one of our opinionated
local sports fans.
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Let me apologize
on his behalf.
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That fellow was
an obstreperous lout.
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I want you to know,
your antagonist
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will never again
enjoy my hospitality
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because A, I prize civility
above all else.
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And B, by tragic coincidence,
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he was followed home
last night
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by an unknown assailant and
beaten to death with a rock.
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Have a good game today!
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- Mr. Sawfield, hello again.
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I do regret to inform you
that maintenance was unable
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to open your in-room safe,
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but we will contact
the manufacturer
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and retrieve the contents
just as soon as we are able.
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Hold for a private message
please.
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- Sawfield, old smoke.
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Cobblepot again.
It occurs to me,
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my last message may have
left you with some questions.
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I know.
A crime like this is shocking.
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A man is murdered
in a fit of rage.
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Who would do such a thing?
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Well, besides a notoriously
intemperate
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hothead baseball player
from out of town,
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swaggering into
the local saloon
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with a chip on his shoulder,
mouthing off
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while he swills free bubbly
like a gulper eel.
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I mean, that will be
everyone's first thought,
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of course.
The police, the press,
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the victim's associates in
the Seventh Street Syndicate.
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Oh, yes, you see,
that loudmouth was a made man.
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And those Syndicate boys
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process grief
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with a set of jumper cables
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and an alkaline car battery,
don't you know?
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Good thing you have an alibi,
isn't it?
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Yes, no worries.
At the time of the murder,
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you were gambling
in the salon privet
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at my invitation, alone.
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You were there for hours.
I can attest to that.
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Or can I?
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I am prone to
the most disturbing
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sudden mental lacunae.
Perhaps it's the water here
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because my entire staff
has the same affliction.
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On the other hand,
with dozens of eyewitnesses
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eager to attest they saw
"Lucky Bucky" Sawfield
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in a vicious altercation
with the deceased,
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lo and behold, a convincing
theory of the case
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begins to emerge.
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Burning with
the man's snide insults,
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you followed him
out of the casino.
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When he paused
to gain his bearings
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in some lonely
and obscure spot,
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your fury erupted
like Krakatoa.
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You took a loose paving stone
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and pounded him
into aspic jelly.
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When the adrenaline subsided,
naturally, you panicked.
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Stripped the corpse
of its valuables
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and dumped it in the harbor...
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Before wandering back
to your hotel in a daze.
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Such was the confusion
of your mingled bloodlust
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and inebriation that
when you returned
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to your room--
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You found your hands
still clutched
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to the blood-smirched
belongings of your victim.
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Oh, I know it didn't
happen that way.
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You know it didn't
happen that way,
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but it's a theory
that will be given
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a great deal of credibility
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once hotel management gets
that pesky safe of yours open.
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And surprise, they find
the dead man's bloody wallet
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and wristwatch are inside.
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How's that for
a curveball, Lucky?
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You probably want that
combination and soon.
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I'll give you a hint.
The first digit is two,
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as in the number of homeruns
you need
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to see our hometown hero
Swat Fleischacker hit today.
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Am I making myself clear?
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We have a way of speaking
in Gotham City.
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Two diggers for
our hometown boy.
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You had better see to it.
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All right,
now, let's play ball!
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Gotham, ambition and guile
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flash-frozen in
grimacing stonework.
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Join us now for another tale
of life and death
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in Gotham City.
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March 7th finds
the Penguin desperate
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for a show of strength to
counter rumors of turmoil
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within his crime empire.
But he is only desperate
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because the rumors are true.
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The Penguin's wall of crime
may encircle the city,
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but its bricks are mortared
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with the legal genius
of Harvey Dent.
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And thanks to the Batman,
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Harvey is no longer
with the organization.
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Safely spirited away in the
dead of night to Wayne Manor,
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Two-Face is finally free
of the Penguin's predations.
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But the sudden appearance
of the Scarecrow
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suggests that his fortunes
have not necessarily improved.
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- Get some, get some!
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The noble homestead,
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defiled and debauched
by deviants.
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00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,123
Stately Wayne Manor
is utterly besieged
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00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:05,758
as is the central nervous
system
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00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,661
of its namesake occupant,
Bruce Wayne.
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Caught unawares,
he succumbs to a gas attack
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from the nefarious
Dr. Jonathan Crane,
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now revealed to be
the pharaoh of panic himself,
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- the Scarecrow.
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- Breathe deeply,
little Brucie.
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It's such a short trip from
the breath to the blood,
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- from the blood to the brain.
- I--I--
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- Oh, I've got such things
in store for you.
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You two, take him
to his resting place.
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The rest of you, Eyeball, Scud,
search the house.
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Roust the staff.
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I think it's just
one butler somehow.
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As for Dent,
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he's dangerous
and I'm bored with him.
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When you find that
conjoined monstrosity,
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put it out of its misery.
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At their master's command,
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the crank-addled delinquents
fan out
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amidst the fine furnishings
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and a shambling miasma
of profanity.
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Where are you, Harvey?
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Ollie, ollie, oxen free!
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Well, what have we here?
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00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:08,654
Of course this house
has its own pipe organ.
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00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:13,192
Oh, now, that's just
an invitation, isn't it?
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Upstairs,
faithful Alfred realizes
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00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:26,572
the time is now if
he and Two-Face wish to escape
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a rapidly approaching tide
of recreational sadists.
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- Mr. Dent, I realize
you are somewhat poorly,
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but if you could perhaps
find the strength, I recommend
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we escape whatever
these hooligans have in mind.
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No problem.
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- Where do you keep the heaters?
- Heaters?
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Bruce doesn't keep firearms
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in the house, you clod.
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He detests them
for obvious reasons.
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- Oh, right.
The parents got plugged.
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Oh, have some tact,
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- you thoughtless ignoramus.
- Hey!
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Don't talk to me like that
around the help.
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- Oh, I don't care.
- The butler is
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several times
your mental superior and--
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- Please, sirs,
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do exclude me
from the squabble.
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00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:04,343
Alfred projects
preternatural calm,
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00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,879
but a squabble
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00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:09,949
the effects of the JoyCure
are wearing off.
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00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,252
And the peace and harmony
inside Two-Face along with it.
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00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,620
How dare you?
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00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,622
Oh, don't faint, precious.
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00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,758
With waxing dread,
Alfred realizes
203
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,626
the window
to avoid catastrophe
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00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,762
has nearly slammed shut
on his fingers.
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00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:24,797
- Gentlemen, please.
- Huh?
206
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,766
- The situation has become
quite urgent.
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00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,568
There is a ruffian
arriving imminently
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00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,304
and he is going to find
the two of us unarmed.
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00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,974
- Counselor, come out,
come out wherever you are.
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00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,475
We can take 'em.
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00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,244
- You're going to have to.
Listen carefully.
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00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,812
There are twin suits of armor
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00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,581
at the end of the hall
fully dressed for battle.
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00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,983
- If it's twins,
we like the plan already.
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00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:47,153
- I'll engage the ruffian
in a wrestling hold.
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00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,422
- You?
- Well, I was rather a grappler
217
00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:52,258
in my youth, but yes, I'll only
manage to hold him for moment.
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00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,894
So you need to rush
down the hall to the armor,
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00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,296
procure a weapon,
and come to my rescue.
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00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:58,798
- Got it.
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00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,166
- Come out, come out--
222
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,069
- Now, Mr. Dent.
223
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,571
- Uh, Alfredo,
we're at the armor.
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00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,340
- Very good, sir.
If you would kindly...
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00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,809
Only grab a mace.
226
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:11,110
Now, Mr. Dent.
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00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,178
Okay, but there's two.
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00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,479
Yes, just grab one.
229
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:14,847
Okay, but which one?
230
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,415
- I assure you,
it doesn't matter.
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00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:17,850
I assure you it does.
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00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,752
- Just flip a coin--
oh, ah, of course.
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00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:20,987
The right one.
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00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,355
His right or right--
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00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,923
- His right.
- Thank you.
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00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,791
Two-Face
labors through a fog
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00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:28,628
of drug-induced confusion,
but seizing the iron cudgel,
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00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:31,530
he is suddenly invigorated by
the promise of violence.
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00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,199
A promise
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00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,701
soon fulfilled
to his exacting standards.
241
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,803
Good plan, Alfredo.
242
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:40,373
- We knew we liked you.
- Yes, very good, sir.
243
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,975
Now, if you please, run toward
the bottom of the stairs.
244
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:46,212
Master Bruce's study locks
securely from the inside.
245
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,780
I'll be right behind you.
246
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,482
The two make haste
for sanctuary,
247
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:51,617
but the remainder
of the hunting party
248
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,786
catches a scent
of their quarry.
249
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,221
- There they are.
After 'em.
250
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,889
- Give me the shotgun, Scud.
251
00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:00,192
- Mr. Dent!
- Just buckshot.
252
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:02,828
We're...
Fine.
253
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:05,064
Keep moving. We're almost--
254
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,900
There.
255
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,536
Two-Face slumps
to the floor of the study,
256
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:12,238
heaving and bloody.
257
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,975
All else is eerily silent,
undisturbed,
258
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,677
save for the patient serenity
259
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:20,713
of the great
grandfather clock.
260
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:23,049
Awful quiet out there.
261
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,884
Do you think they--
262
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:27,420
- Come out, come out, come out,
come out, little lambchops.
263
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,723
It's time to get cleaned and
dressed and seared and eaten.
264
00:11:30,823 --> 00:11:33,893
- The door's reinforced, boss.
I mean, heavy duty.
265
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:35,661
- Then we do this
with chemicals.
266
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:37,697
- Oh, dear.
- Put on your masks.
267
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:40,533
Flood the entire mansion
with the cheap stuff.
268
00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:41,901
30 parts per million.
269
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:46,272
No, 80.
And cut it with CX nerve gas.
270
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,407
We want these nightmares
to hurt.
271
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:49,742
Oh, dear!
272
00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:50,843
Alfred has mere moments
273
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,244
to devise an escape.
274
00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:53,779
- The windows--
275
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,448
Are no option
for Two-Face,
276
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,783
who at present should be
occupying a stretcher.
277
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,285
Let it rip, boys!
278
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,953
They cannot remain
where they are.
279
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,689
The door is sturdy,
but it is not airtight.
280
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,858
In point of fact,
the only airtight
281
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:07,426
and hermetically sealed
environment
282
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:10,296
- on the estate grounds is--
- The Batcave.
283
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,964
Come again, Alfredo?
284
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,632
Alfred has no choice.
285
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,969
- Mr. Dent,
we're going downstairs.
286
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,304
- Huh?
287
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,041
Two-Face can be forgiven
288
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:23,209
if he doesn't understand
289
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:25,044
exactly what he's witnessing.
290
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,646
A megadose of JoyCure
mingled with blood loss
291
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,615
and a whiff of
the Scarecrow's gas
292
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:32,952
is a stiff cocktail
for the ruddiest sot.
293
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,487
But Two-Face could swear
294
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,056
the butler just walked him
into the clock
295
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,092
and down, down.
How far down?
296
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,961
- What is this?
297
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:44,730
Some kind of safe room?
298
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:46,932
The safest in the city, sir.
299
00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:49,668
Authorization, Alfred one.
300
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,838
The mismatched eyes
of Two-Face blink and strain
301
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,575
through a heavy veil of drugs,
distress, and disbelief.
302
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,744
I can't believe it.
303
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,180
It's not possible.
304
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,849
Bruce Wayne is--
305
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,185
- Yes, Mr. Dent,
Bruce Wayne is--
306
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:07,853
Bruce Wayne
307
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,790
- is a filthy liar.
- What? No.
308
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,925
He said he was there for us.
309
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:16,128
- He always said
he wanted to help us.
310
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:19,265
Sure, but all this time,
he had an angle.
311
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:23,202
Bruce Wayne is Batman.
312
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,671
And I thought I was
the two-faced bastard.
313
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:27,473
- Mr. Dent, I assure you--
314
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,975
The old double life gimmick
315
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:31,510
and we fell for it.
316
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:34,013
- Please, Mr. Dent,
you need medical attention.
317
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:37,049
- We don't like
to be played, Alfredo.
318
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,884
It's a guarantee.
319
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:41,020
When we get played,
320
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:45,658
someone...gets...hurt.
321
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,726
Mr. Dent, don't!
322
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,900
The betrayal he long
suspected, seemingly realized.
323
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,869
The wrath of Two-Face scorned
324
00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:59,505
is a two mega-ton bomb
in free fall.
325
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:03,542
See it detonate in a future
tale of life and death
326
00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:05,978
in Gotham City.
327
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:09,481
- My fellow Americans,
Honest Abe Fetterman here.
328
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:11,584
Four score and seven years ago,
329
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,053
I brought forth in Gotham City
330
00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:19,024
insane savings!
331
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:21,360
But now, everything must go!
332
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,429
I'm talking blenders!
I'm talking toasters!
333
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,097
Washers, dryers!
That's right,
334
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,999
Honest Abe's Hardware
and Household Appliances
335
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:30,536
is shutting its doors for good.
336
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,771
But we're passing
the savings on to you.
337
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,073
Just look at these deals.
338
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:37,343
- An electric waffle iron.
- $900.
339
00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:39,912
- Energy Star rated
air conditioning unit.
340
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,714
$600,000.
341
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:45,050
- And right here is
a 19-inch color television set
342
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,685
for the incredible price of--
343
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,287
oh, my God,
this can't be right.
344
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,289
499...
345
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:56,528
734,850,000.52!
346
00:14:56,595 --> 00:15:03,469
$499,734,850,000.52!
347
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,970
That's right, Gotham City.
348
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:10,542
With prices like these,
I must be insane!
349
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:14,380
- And of course, he was.
Hi, I'm Abraham Fetterman Jr.
350
00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:15,648
and I want to thank
the community
351
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,216
for their support
for my father,
352
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,717
Honest Abe Fetterman,
353
00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:21,120
during his recent struggle
with mental illness.
354
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,621
It wasn't easy for him to close
355
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:24,890
his beloved hardware and
household appliance store
356
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:27,293
and agree to be committed
to Arkham Asylum,
357
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:29,561
but we all agree it was
for the best
358
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:30,829
and he's happier there.
359
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,331
And I understand
they're letting him wear
360
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,566
his Abe Lincoln costume
on the inside,
361
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:37,503
which probably means they
found out the same way I did
362
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,672
that if you try to take it
off him, he will bite you.
363
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,840
Kindness gets you nowhere
with that man.
364
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,777
Anyhow, from all of us
at the Honest Abe family,
365
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:46,278
minus Honest Abe,
366
00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:48,414
who will be making
no further public statements,
367
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,949
thanks for the memories,
Gotham City.
368
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:03,696
Gotham,
a cat's cradle
369
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,831
strung from
high-tension wires.
370
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:08,867
Join us now, for another tale
of life and death
371
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,970
in Gotham City.
372
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:13,639
Robin to Batman.
373
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,541
Come on.
374
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,176
Batman and Robin communicate
375
00:16:17,276 --> 00:16:19,678
over a heavily modified
WayneTech Mark 7
376
00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:22,948
crystal-fiber satellite linkup
supported by a network
377
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:26,218
of ideally located private
relay towers around Gotham.
378
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,721
- Robin to Batcave.
Computer, do you copy?
379
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,990
You gotta be kidding me.
380
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:33,292
It's possible for
any system to fail,
381
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,995
even one designed
by the Batman,
382
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,997
or so Robin tells himself.
383
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,665
What's the alternative?
384
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:43,235
Batman and the Batcave
are both somehow offline?
385
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,837
Preposterous.
386
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:46,905
And so the Boy Wonder
puts it from his mind
387
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,475
to focus more keenly
on the task at hand.
388
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:52,644
- Come in, Commissioner Gordon.
- Gordon here.
389
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:54,646
- Is this Robin?
- Yes, sir.
390
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,915
My communications with
the Batman are non-functional.
391
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,551
- Do you have comms?
- Negative. Is that normal?
392
00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:01,186
Not normal, no.
393
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:03,589
I was just about to end
my patrol early and investigate
394
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,724
when I saw suspicious activity
at the old
395
00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:08,494
Honest Abe's Hardware and
Household Appliances store.
396
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,929
- That's on the edge of
Burma Shave Boys territory.
397
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,931
Probably a gang
of those urchins scrounging
398
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,433
for abandoned valuables,
isn't it?
399
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,935
- That could be,
but I had a hunch.
400
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,504
Joker has been
bouncing around town
401
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,572
from one makeshift
safehouse to the next
402
00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:22,741
- since Penguin put the hit out.
- Yeah?
403
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:25,778
- Batman always says there's
a method to his madness.
404
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,780
I think he's set up shop
in Honest Abe's.
405
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,948
- The Joker?
Of all the places in Gotham,
406
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,450
what in the world
makes you think
407
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,018
he's in an abandoned
hardware store?
408
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:34,553
- It's the initials,
Commissioner.
409
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,389
Probably pretty irresistible
to the Joker.
410
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:39,958
- Initials?
- Honest Abe's--
411
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,260
- H-A--
412
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,862
- Hardware and
Household Appliances.
413
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:47,466
- H-A, H-A.
414
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:49,134
"Ha, ha, ha."
415
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,470
- They say the best jokes are
the ones you have to explain.
416
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,105
- Yeah, well,
if it is the Joker--
417
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,640
- Sorry to interrupt,
Commissioner,
418
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,442
but we're no longer dealing
in hypotheticals.
419
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:59,311
A long purple sedan
with darkened headlamps
420
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:01,480
slithers down the alley
like a viper.
421
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,288
It's the Joker all right.
422
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,657
I've never been
this close to him, you know?
423
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:14,293
- Not without Batman.
- Okay, now, now, fall back.
424
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,829
I'll send a unit.
I'll send two.
425
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,330
He's unloading crates.
426
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,965
Batman would
plant surveillance.
427
00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:21,433
- Batman would tell you
to get out of there
428
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,768
and report to him.
429
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,103
- Can't test that theory,
Commissioner.
430
00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:25,804
Batman isn't
answering my calls.
431
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:30,275
He went inside.
432
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:31,743
I can slip in
the basement window
433
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,479
and plant an eavesdropper
in the storefront.
434
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:35,581
- Robin, I know
I don't give you orders,
435
00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:37,349
but I hope I've earned
enough of your respect
436
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,853
that you'll listen to me
when I beg you.
437
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,622
Don't do it.
438
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:47,459
You thinking it over?
What I said?
439
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:50,129
Thinking about not doing it?
440
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:51,997
Robin?
441
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:53,499
Hello?
Too late.
442
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,534
Robin is already inside.
443
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,270
It's pitch dark.
Should it be this cold?
444
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:02,441
Night vision reveals...
no sign of the Joker.
445
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:05,444
But the Boy Wonder can still
count on his keen hearing.
446
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:07,613
- He's in the back office.
447
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:09,515
Robin could leave
the surveillance device
448
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,016
anywhere in the shop,
449
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:13,185
but the Joker could be gone
in hours.
450
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:15,821
Less.
What is it that Batman says
451
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:16,955
about opportunity?
452
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:18,690
Knock first and knock hard.
453
00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:20,792
The real coup
would be planting it
454
00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:22,728
on the clown himself.
455
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,563
The whistling
seems to beckon him.
456
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,398
I can do this.
457
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,901
As Robin creeps
between the empty shelves
458
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,469
of the abandoned storefront,
459
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,704
the vacancy of the place
seems to howl.
460
00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:36,875
If he can just get
a line of sight on the Joker,
461
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:40,712
he can shoot the eavesdropper
from a distance undetected.
462
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:42,247
The floor is sticky.
463
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,750
What are those fumes?
464
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,020
Something was burned beyond
recognition in the trashcan.
465
00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,822
What is it? What was it?
466
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:53,192
And why is it so cold in here?
467
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:56,428
At last,
he gets to the door.
468
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,033
And peering into the light
of a single, bare bulb,
469
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,701
the Boy Wonder sees--
470
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,903
Oh, no.
471
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:07,272
That he should've
listened to the Commissioner.
472
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:10,943
- Now then, try practicing
that tune a few times.
473
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,012
When you're ready,
flip to side B of
474
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:16,114
"How to Whistle
like a Nightingale--"
475
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,950
nightingale--nightingale--
476
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,019
A phonograph needle
in an empty room skips.
477
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:23,755
Robin realizes
his mistake too late
478
00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:26,058
as he feels a cold hand
on his shoulder.
479
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:29,561
- You must know how to whistle,
little birdy.
480
00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:30,696
Got any pointers?
481
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:37,803
- These records are a real
rip-off.
482
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,471
Robin is felled.
483
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:41,907
To find out why
the caged bird stings,
484
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:46,478
tune in to future tales of
life and death in Gotham City.
485
00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:55,320
- Good evening,
Gotham movie buffs.
486
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,089
I'm Jack Ryder.
487
00:20:57,155 --> 00:20:59,825
Tune in this Saturday at
midnight when I'm hosting--
488
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,994
Oh, no.
489
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,762
The transformation
490
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:07,099
is happening again!
491
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:12,170
Hark!
Strikes the midnight hour
492
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:17,609
and so the Creeper emerges from
his ancient tomb to--
493
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:19,678
"Tomb"? Am I a vampire?
494
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,281
I thought this was, like,
a Jekyll-Hyde thing.
495
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:24,316
Yeah, no, it does.
It makes a difference to me.
496
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:26,952
We just did
a whole transformat--fine.
497
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:29,588
Join me,
the Midnight Creeper,
498
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:32,758
on Gotham City One this
Saturday as I seize control
499
00:21:32,824 --> 00:21:35,427
of your planetary airways
for a screening of
500
00:21:35,494 --> 00:21:40,265
the Argus Studios
horror classic, "Dread Castle."
501
00:21:40,332 --> 00:21:42,834
Do not resist, puny Earthlings.
You will--
502
00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:45,203
"Earthlings"?
Earthlings, okay.
503
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,972
You're just
messing with me now.
504
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,274
Did anyone settle
on a backstory
505
00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:51,476
for this character? No?
506
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:53,779
Just a little creative
free-for-all to make
507
00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:56,548
Jack look like he has
no judgement whatsoever?
508
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:57,883
Whatever.
509
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,051
The midnight movie
510
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,352
on Gotham City One.
511
00:22:00,452 --> 00:22:01,820
I regret--
I just hate this.
512
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:02,888
I hate every part of this.
513
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:09,895
Gotham, a dark room
514
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:12,998
where memories drown
in a chemical bath.
515
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:16,234
Join us once again for a tale
of life and death
516
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,637
in Gotham City.
517
00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:23,575
The silence of the tomb.
518
00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,377
- Where am I?
519
00:22:25,477 --> 00:22:27,913
It was a somewhat
rhetorical question.
520
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:32,084
Bruce is restrained, confined,
and so heavily drugged
521
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:35,387
any further elaboration
would be lost on him.
522
00:22:35,487 --> 00:22:37,422
It was a waste of breath
to even ask,
523
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,524
unless someone can hear him.
524
00:22:39,591 --> 00:22:41,426
You're in the family plot.
525
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:44,262
Yes, I know it's cramped,
but you'll soon disassociate
526
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:47,332
and we'll wander the wilds of
your mind together,
527
00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:48,600
little Brucie.
528
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,535
Through one of your...
529
00:22:50,602 --> 00:22:54,439
- manufactured nightmares.
- Nonsense.
530
00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:57,743
I'm here to give you
your fondest wish,
531
00:22:57,843 --> 00:23:01,179
little orphan boy.
Just like magic.
532
00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:05,283
In fact, abracadabra.
533
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,452
What did you just do?
534
00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:09,955
- I've given you
a chance at happiness.
535
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,923
- Bruce.
- Mother?
536
00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:14,726
- Bruce.
- Father?
537
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:16,128
What is this?
538
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,897
It's therapy, dear boy.
539
00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:22,134
In here, you're no longer
an orphan.
540
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,702
Bruce, come along now.
541
00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:25,070
What are you saying?
542
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:28,440
That night,
the Monarch theater,
543
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:32,444
the alley,
my parents weren't killed?
544
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:34,813
Oh, not yet.
545
00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:36,782
- Hurry, Bruce.
The picture's about to start.
546
00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:39,618
- But it is that night, Bruce.
- No.
547
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,319
- And I'm afraid
the night is young.
548
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:42,988
- If you don't step lively,
young man,
549
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,256
you'll miss the cartoon short.
550
00:23:44,322 --> 00:23:45,824
- Mother, don't go
into the theater.
551
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:47,659
- You love the cartoon short,
don't you, son?
552
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:50,562
- Father, please.
Please take us home.
553
00:23:50,629 --> 00:23:53,098
What has gotten into you?
554
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:55,100
- And now,
Argus Pictures presents
555
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:58,336
the ham-fisted predicaments
of the Dim Knight,
556
00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:01,840
the world's greatest
defective, Bat-Mite.
557
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:04,176
- This is your chance
at happiness, Bruce.
558
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:06,845
A chance you've always wanted.
559
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,580
A chance to save them.
560
00:24:10,248 --> 00:24:13,185
- Can you save your parents
this time, Bruce?
561
00:24:14,753 --> 00:24:16,822
Life and death
in Gotham City.
562
00:24:16,922 --> 00:24:18,990
To be continued.
563
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,495
The Audio Adventures,"
564
00:24:23,595 --> 00:24:26,531
written and directed
by Dennis McNicholas.
565
00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:29,968
Batman created by Bob Kane
with Bill Finger.
566
00:24:30,035 --> 00:24:32,204
Based on characters from DC.
567
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:35,040
With performances
by Jeffrey Wright,
568
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,143
Aristotle Athari,
Ike Barinholtz,
569
00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:41,146
Rosario Dawson, Steve Higgins,
570
00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:43,849
Toby Huss, Gillian Jacobs,
571
00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:46,551
John Leguizamo,
Dennis McNicholas.
572
00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:49,287
Tim Meadows, Seth Meyers,
573
00:24:49,354 --> 00:24:51,990
Bobby Moynihan, Chris Parnell,
574
00:24:52,057 --> 00:24:54,559
Katie Rich, Ben Rodgers,
575
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:57,195
Paul Scheer, Pete Schultz,
576
00:24:57,295 --> 00:24:59,731
Brooke Shields, Brent Spiner,
577
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,167
Kenan Thompson, Alan Tudyk,
578
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:05,704
Bradley Whitford,
Melissa VillaseƱor,
579
00:25:05,804 --> 00:25:08,406
Eli Brueggemann, Doug Bossi,
580
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:11,309
Ronjini Brown, Chris Gibney,
581
00:25:11,376 --> 00:25:13,845
Julie Larson, Erica Phillips,
582
00:25:13,912 --> 00:25:16,414
Rosie Phillips, Tony Phillips,
583
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,917
Zoey Phillips, Deirdre Quinn,
584
00:25:19,017 --> 00:25:20,552
Robbie Wyckoff.
585
00:25:20,652 --> 00:25:24,656
Executive producers,
John Berg, Angela Petrella.
586
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:27,058
Produced by Dennis McNicholas.
587
00:25:27,158 --> 00:25:29,327
Executives
in charge of production,
588
00:25:29,394 --> 00:25:32,063
Shaleen Desai, Peter Girardi.
589
00:25:32,163 --> 00:25:34,099
Producer, Tyler Dorson.
590
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:36,601
Production services
by Cast Media.
591
00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:38,570
Producer, Colin Thompson.
592
00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:41,273
Coordinating producer,
DJ Lubel.
593
00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:43,408
Music by Doug Bossi.
594
00:25:43,508 --> 00:25:45,710
Sound recording, design,
and mixing
595
00:25:45,777 --> 00:25:47,245
by Big Yellow Duck.
596
00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:49,915
Sound design, mixing,
dialogue editing,
597
00:25:50,015 --> 00:25:52,551
and rerecording mixing
by Chris Gibney.
598
00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:55,120
Dialogue editing and
additional post-production
599
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:56,755
by Julie Larson.
600
00:25:56,855 --> 00:26:00,025
Original songs by Doug Bossi
and Tony Phillips.
601
00:26:00,091 --> 00:26:01,760
The characters and events
depicted
602
00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:03,595
in this podcast are fictional.
603
00:26:03,695 --> 00:26:06,031
Any similarity
to any actual person
604
00:26:06,097 --> 00:26:08,900
living or dead
or to any actual events,
605
00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:12,437
firms, places, and
institutions or other entities
606
00:26:12,537 --> 00:26:14,706
is coincidental
and unintentional.
607
00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:16,808
This podcast is protected
under the laws
608
00:26:16,908 --> 00:26:19,277
of the United States
and other countries,
609
00:26:19,377 --> 00:26:21,046
and its unauthorized
duplication,
610
00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:22,881
distribution, or exhibition
611
00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:26,384
may result in civil liability
and criminal prosecution.
612
00:26:26,451 --> 00:26:29,487
Country of first publication,
United States of America.
613
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:32,991
"Batman the Audio Adventures,"
copyright 2022
614
00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:35,126
Warner Bros.
Entertainment Inc.
615
00:26:35,226 --> 00:26:37,762
Batman and all related
characters and elements
616
00:26:37,829 --> 00:26:40,298
are trademark and copyright
DC.
617
00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:41,933
All rights reserved.