1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003 ♪ cheerful music playing ♪ 2 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,766 [grunts] [phone dings] 3 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,437 CLAY: Oh, shit. 4 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,775 [indistinct chatter] 5 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,613 - Clay! Dougie Lewis. 6 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:32,031 We used to have the same agent back in the day. 7 00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,117 - Oh, yeah. Hey, Dougie, how you doin'? 8 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,202 - Well, not great, you know? 9 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,955 Things have been a little... rough, to be honest. 10 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,499 You know, I haven't booked a job since I posted that manifesto, 11 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,627 and a Ford Fusion is no place to live, so. 12 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,254 - Yeah. - I can't believe they let you back 13 00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,381 on the lot after all that trouble you used to cause. 14 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,467 - Ah, yeah, I had to sign a crazy strict morals clause. 15 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,510 Speaking of which-- - Hey, you know what? 16 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,512 I'm actually here auditioning for a couple lines 17 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,305 on Chicago Hope: Miami. 18 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,307 I don't know if you know anybody over there-- 19 00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:01,019 - Oh, I really don't. I'm, uh-- - That's why I got this suit, you know? 20 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:02,771 The guy at the garage sale wanted 40 bucks. 21 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,607 - I said, "I can't afford that." - Hey, Dougie, look. 22 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:06,984 I'm sorry your life sucks, 23 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,735 but I fucked someone I wasn't supposed to, 24 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,238 so I have to get to wardrobe right now. 25 00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,739 - Okay. Roger that. 26 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,575 - Yeah. - Break a leg. 27 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,326 - So. - Oh! 28 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,829 - You and my mom, doin' the deed. 29 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,749 - Okay, if you need to hit me, go ahead. 30 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,919 Just don't break my nose, my septum's hanging on by a thread. 31 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,713 - I'm not gonna hit you. 32 00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:32,009 I just wanna know, man to man, do you like my mom? 33 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,719 Or do you like-like my mom? 34 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,096 - I like-like what we did, 35 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,308 but I don't feel comfortable talking to you about any of this. 36 00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:41,602 - Cool... Cool. 37 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:44,146 I was just worried 38 00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:46,857 'cause if it was one of those "wham bam thank you, Mom" situations, 39 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:48,692 she does not handle that well. 40 00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:49,693 - What do you mean? 41 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,570 - She was dating this guy and he was using her, 42 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,740 and she kinda smashed his windshield, and the neighbors had to call the police. 43 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,743 - Whoa! No, no, no. None of that here. No, no. 44 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,785 - Awesome! 45 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:03,707 My real mom and my TV dad dating. Uh, dreams come true much? 46 00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:12,591 ♪ theme music playing ♪ 47 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,099 - Good morning. Morning, morning, morning. 48 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,726 [indistinct chatter] 49 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,812 All right, let's get-- Oh, hello, people I don't know. 50 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,357 - Hi, Gordon. Gordon, uh-- Everyone, this is Gordon. 51 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:30,776 He is the creator of the original show. 52 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:33,445 Also, technically, my father. Uh, Gordon, new writers. 53 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,531 - Oh! Okay. Ah, good for us. 54 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:39,243 This one of those... diversity intern training things? 55 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,577 - Uh-- GORDON: You know what? 56 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,996 Personally, I think it's a shame you're not getting paid 57 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,290 'cause that's not right at all, but I will say this, 58 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,085 the lessons you're gonna learn, invaluable. 59 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,336 Case in point: 60 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,672 misunderstandings, always funny. 61 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,550 Example, guy's in a store and he's talking to a busty salesgirl-- 62 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:55,425 HANNAH: Okay, stop! 63 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,969 No, Gordon, these are the writers 64 00:02:56,969 --> 00:03:00,681 that I hired for the show before you decided to 65 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,140 join us. Yeah. GORDON: Oh. 66 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,101 - Janae comes from the Harvard Lampoon, 67 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,353 Benny is an amazing queer playwright, 68 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,147 and Azmina wrote an amazing spec script, 69 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,441 and fine, is also from the Disney diversity program. 70 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,776 - What, no Eskimos? 71 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:13,902 - Oh my god. 72 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:14,820 - Wow. 73 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,113 - Literal gasp. 74 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,447 GORDON: Uh-oh. What? Did I just step in it? 75 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,867 Is... Is one of you part Eskimo? 76 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,619 - No, that's not the problem. - All right, good, good. 77 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,872 Hey, little fun fact. 78 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:29,585 I happen to be Eskimo brothers with Don Johnson. 79 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:37,968 - Hey. 80 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,512 Uh, did you read the rewrite? - No, not yet. 81 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,513 - Yeah, they added a scene. 82 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:42,973 Uh, we're in bed. - Oh. 83 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,391 - Foolin' around. - Ooh. 84 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,686 - That's actually kind of racy compared to how tame we had to keep it on network. 85 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,063 [laughs] I just, just wanted to make sure you're okay with it? 86 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,648 - Yeah, why wouldn't I be? 87 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,902 - Oh, uh, well, you know, just, um... given our history. 88 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,111 - Mmm. 89 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,280 You think that your mouth is a wormhole 90 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,407 and I'm gonna fall right back into 2005? 91 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,076 - [laughs] No, no! What? No, no, no, no, no. 92 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,495 - Yeah, you do. I think you do. - Oh, I don't, I don't. I'm tellin'-- 93 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,122 No, this is fine, this is great. 94 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,665 - Okay. - This is great, Bree. 95 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:12,252 You're fine, I'm fine, uh. 96 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,963 Just worried about... oh, you know. 97 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:15,964 - What? 98 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,550 - You're going through a divorce right now. 99 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:19,468 - Oh. 100 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:22,012 - You might be feeling a little bit lonely and vulnerable, 101 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:26,558 which could, you know, lead to stirrings of old feelings. 102 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,227 - You are being so condescending right now-- 103 00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:31,522 - No, no, honey, I'm not being condescending. - Yeah, you're doing it right now. 104 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:35,192 - Bree, I am not being-- - Still doing it. 105 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,819 Still doing it. 106 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,990 Lana! 107 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:48,789 I just walked into my trailer to find a full assortment of Spanx waiting for me. 108 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,332 Are you trying to tell me something? 109 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,792 - I don't know what you're talkin' about. 110 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,378 - Oh, well, I guess I just got visited by the Spanx fairy then. 111 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,880 - Sweetie, it's Hollywood. 112 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,133 There's not an actress over 40 raw doggin' it these days. 113 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,345 - Charming. - Just be careful wearing them on a date. 114 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:04,555 When a man undresses you, 115 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:07,599 you expand like one of those mattresses in a box. 116 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:10,060 - Well, I haven't had to worry about that in a while. 117 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:13,146 - Why? Oh, sorry. Couldn't help but overhear. 118 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,066 - Because I haven't been on a first date in 15 years. 119 00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:18,569 - That's since I was six years old. 120 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,988 - Why is everyone trying to hurt me today? 121 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,406 - Okay, look, we gotta fix this, 122 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:26,159 take you out, help you meet some hot zaddies. 123 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,494 What are you doing tomorrow night? 124 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,163 - I can't, I am so behind on Cupcake Wars. 125 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,916 I just heard myself. Where do you wanna go? 126 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,502 - Let's get some dinner and then go someplace fun. 127 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,004 What do you wanna eat: sushi or Mexican? 128 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,506 - Mexican. - I'd go for sushi. 129 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:42,759 - Fuck off, Lana! - Ooh, somebody's hangry. 130 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:48,015 - Shorter? - Yeah. 131 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,690 - There's my guy. - Oh god. 132 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,442 - Got a hot little tip for ya. 133 00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:00,611 You know that special lady you've been crushin' on? 134 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:03,405 - You mean, your mom? - It's her birthday Saturday. 135 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,700 I scored us a res at the O-G, Olive Garden. 136 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,619 Let's just say if you were to show up at the table 137 00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:11,079 with the never-ending breadsticks, she would not be mad. 138 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,957 - Oh, hell yes. As long as it's not Saturday, I'm in. 139 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,959 - Oh, I just said it was Saturday. 140 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,962 Oh, what about brunch on Sunday? 141 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:25,052 - [sighs] We need to find a way to bring Whitney and Josie closer. 142 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:29,848 - Okay. What if... there's a, a hot delivery guy 143 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:33,268 and both girls are ordering all this stuff they don't even want 144 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,561 just so they can see the guy. 145 00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,272 And then on the way out, there's, like, a big box, 146 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,316 he trips over the box 147 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:43,320 'cause hot plus clumsy, always funny. 148 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,446 Right? HANNAH: Yeah, so, in real life, 149 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,907 people don't just magically trip over things 150 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,700 the exact moment you need them to. 151 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,202 - They can if you write that. 152 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,828 - I wanna do something less sitcom-y, 153 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:55,123 or, you know, at least something that passes the Bechdel test. 154 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,792 [writers chuckling] - What? 155 00:06:56,792 --> 00:07:00,045 - Something that passes the Bechdel test. 156 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:03,799 - No, I heard her... I just don't know what the fuck that is. 157 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,802 - Guys, let's go easy on him. [whispers] He's old. 158 00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,595 - I heard that, too, Carrot Top. 159 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,514 Or Carrot Bottom, I don't wanna make assumptions. 160 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,182 AZMINA: To pass the Bechdel test, 161 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,810 the script must have at least one exchange between two women 162 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,728 where they're not talking about a man. 163 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,648 - Is she still talkin'? 'Cause I dozed off. 164 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,901 - This is probably too meta, but-- [chuckles] 165 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:23,944 Oh my god. [laughs] 166 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,405 - [laughs] This is exciting, she's got somethin' here. 167 00:07:26,405 --> 00:07:30,617 - What if they bond by talking about Alison Bechdel? 168 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:33,120 [writers laughing] - That's hilarious. 169 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,582 HANNAH: Oh, I like that. - All right, I, I also get why it's funny. 170 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,333 Um, can I speak to you for a second outside? 171 00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,585 HANNAH: Yeah. 172 00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:41,628 What's the problem? 173 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:45,132 - I was under the impression we're still makin' a comedy. 174 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:49,011 - Oh my god, just because they're not pitching, like, old-timey jokes 175 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:52,306 - doesn't m-- - No, no, no. They're not pitching jokes period. 176 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,808 - So, comedy's evolved since you last wrote for television. 177 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,685 I mean, honestly, whole species have evolved. 178 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,729 - Listen, we don't schlep in a live audience every week 179 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:01,690 so they can sit there and nod in thoughtful amusement. 180 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,400 We need them to actually laugh. 181 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,278 - Yeah, I get it, and trust me, these writers are very funny. 182 00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:07,905 - I-- [door opens] 183 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,364 - The bathroom is that way? 184 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:12,701 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, A-Azmina. 185 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,077 - Funniest food? 186 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,706 - Uh, I don't know. Uh, oatmeal. 187 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:22,211 - Oatmeal... Aren't you embarrassed? 188 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:23,879 It's pickles. 189 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,088 - Pickles? 190 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,928 - Okay. Let's get this on its feet. 191 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,096 Or maybe I should say on its back. 192 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,264 [chuckling] 193 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,974 Jake, you're in the hall. 194 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,227 Lawrence is on top of Josie. 195 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,604 - I'm on top of her, huh? JERRY: Uh-huh, yeah. 196 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,606 - Oh, okay. Umm. 197 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:45,359 All right, so... so we'll mock the kissing. 198 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,194 - Oh my god, I'm gonna punch you in the face. 199 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,446 - And action! 200 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,447 - All right, wow. 201 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,950 Looks like we have the house all to ourselves. 202 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,326 BREE: Mm. JERRY: And you're kissing. 203 00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,537 - Kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss. - Kiss, kiss. Kiss, kiss. 204 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,373 - Now the canoodling's getting hot and heavy. 205 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,666 REED: All right. 206 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:04,670 - Very nice. Humpy, humpy... Very nice. [moaning] 207 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:05,671 [gasps] 208 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,632 - Um. - Okay, what is that? 209 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,926 - Nothing, it's nothing. - Doesn't feel like nothing. 210 00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,679 [door opens] - Don't mind me, just lookin' for my keys. 211 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:14,930 BOTH: Jake! 212 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,975 - Ah, ah, ah, I think it's funnier if you stay on top of her. 213 00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:20,143 - You want me to stay on top of her? - Yeah. 214 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:20,978 - Oh. 215 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,189 - Oh boy. - But... there's, you know, 216 00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,774 in terms of the momentum of the scene-- 217 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,527 - Jer, I think Reed wants to get off now. - Not, Not what I said. 218 00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:31,280 - Okay, fine, Lawrence gets out of the bed. 219 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,993 - Uh, uh, or, or, uh, here's a thought. Lawrence stays in bed. 220 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:37,494 - You don't wanna get outta bed? 221 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,829 - I really don't. 222 00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:40,706 - Jerry, is it funny if I pull off the covers-- 223 00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:42,624 - No, no, no, nope. Nope, not funny. [Bree chuckles] 224 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,419 - Oh, I get it. [Bree laughing] 225 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,087 It's no big deal, everyone, 226 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,173 Reed just has an erection. - Yep! 227 00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:50,799 [all laughing] - Let's take five 228 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,801 on account of Reed's erection. 229 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:55,637 - Hey, uh, Jerry, is this a hard five or a soft five? 230 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,639 [laughing continues] - Unbelievable. 231 00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:00,767 That's-- Really, Really, Jerry? You don't laugh in 56 years. That got you? 232 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,520 [Reed sighs] 233 00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:12,112 - Right, so, uh, where did we leave off yesterday? 234 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,073 - Gordon pitched that Caitlyn Jenner joke and then you threw an orange at him. 235 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,576 - It was a tangelo. - Yeah, that's the important part. 236 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,828 - Okay, right. I mean, uh, before that. 237 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:23,707 - Uh, we talked about the fight you and your dad had in the kitchen. 238 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,168 And a lot of other fights you two have had. 239 00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:29,296 - And then we watched an episode of Yellowjackets. 240 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:33,300 - I will admit I was a bit... thrown yesterday, 241 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,301 but, today, we are-- [knocks on door] 242 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,260 GORDON: Good news, everyone. 243 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,721 The comedy cavalry has arrived. 244 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,891 - Good morning! Delivery from Jews 'R' Us. 245 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,936 - Sorry we're late, we've been wandering in Palm Desert for 40 years. 246 00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:45,229 - Ignore these old fucks. 247 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,522 They saw some actress out there 248 00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,732 and they got their first hard-ons in 20 years. 249 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,651 [men laughing] - Let me introduce everybody. 250 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,028 This is Alan, Bob, Selma. 251 00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,948 Say hello to Benny, Janae, and Azmina. 252 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:59,243 - Azmina... I think I take that for my gout. 253 00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:02,329 - Azmina, that's a Spanish name, if I'm not mistaken. 254 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,540 - Sorta. - My first wife was Latin. 255 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,959 Case you ever wonder why I'm scared of you. 256 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:09,253 [men laughing] 257 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,754 - Uh, kitchen? 258 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:12,589 - All righty. 259 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,176 They're exactly what we need. 260 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,345 - Oh, well, then I'm shocked they were available at a moment's notice. 261 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,180 Did you find them feeding birds in the park? 262 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,265 - They're funny. 263 00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,141 Every single one of those writers 264 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,769 has been making sitcoms since before you were born. 265 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,646 - That's not a point in their favor. 266 00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:30,107 We don't need a bunch of dinosaurs in the writers' room. 267 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:31,024 - So funny you say that, 268 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,610 Alan ran the last two seasons of Dinosaurs on ABC. 269 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:37,197 - Yeah, again, "wrote for giant puppets" is not the mic drop you think it is. 270 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,158 - Trust me, when it's late and we're tired, 271 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,703 and we're stuck on that last page of a rewrite, 272 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,246 you are gonna want pros like them. 273 00:11:44,246 --> 00:11:46,915 They can come up with a joke that gets ya home every time. 274 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:47,916 They're legends. 275 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,877 And they're hipper than you think. [door opens] 276 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,088 Hey. - Nice kids, 277 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:56,717 but Selma had this great cunt joke, went over like a fart in schule. 278 00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,553 Also, uh, where can I find a fax machine? 279 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,766 - Oh, hold up. We gotta meet the Queen Bree. 280 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:07,561 Queen Bree Marie Jensen, and she's single. 281 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,105 - Can we, um, can we just tape this later 282 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,857 because, honestly, I'm feeling really gross right now, 283 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:12,733 and according to wardrobe, 284 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,484 I look like a cow if I'm not wearing Spanx. 285 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,486 - We're live to 85,000 people. 286 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,489 - [perky] Oh, hi, everyone! - Hey, yeah. 287 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,782 - Hello! 288 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,368 You should show them the bird that lives in the light grid! 289 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,120 - Good call! 290 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,955 How hilarious is she? 291 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:30,250 JERRY: Hey, Bree... Uh, Reed, a moment. 292 00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:36,089 I just came from a bullshit meeting at HR about what happened yesterday. 293 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,132 - What happened yesterday? 294 00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,301 - Sweetheart, you got a hard-on. [Bree chuckles] 295 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:41,428 Apparently, that's against company policy. 296 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,180 - Oh my god, there was a meeting? 297 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,224 - Oh my god, this is the greatest thing ever. 298 00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:48,602 - I'm supposed to make you feel comfortable because, 299 00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,106 "The Walt Disney company is committed to providing 300 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,151 "a safe and secure workplace environment. 301 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:59,112 "We must all work together for a better tomorrow. 302 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,615 Walt Disney, where dreams come true." 303 00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,367 - All right, great-- - Just to be clear, 304 00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:07,287 Jerry, um, I'm not in trouble for being so hot that Reed got an erection? 305 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,747 This is on Reed for being a dog 306 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,707 who goes full lipstick if someone touches him, right? 307 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,709 [Reed laughs sarcastically] - No, this is about Reed. 308 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,628 None of the executives made fun of you. 309 00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:18,632 - Okay, the only reason this happened is because I was reacting in character, 310 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,510 as Lawrence, who was being aroused by his wife, Josie. 311 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:22,928 BREE: No, I don't think that's what it is. 312 00:13:22,928 --> 00:13:25,681 What I think happened is that you're confused because of our history 313 00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:27,057 and I think you still have feelings for me. 314 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:31,687 - I do not still have feelings for you. I am in a committed relationship. 315 00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:35,566 - Right, with Nora, who's a real person in New York City. 316 00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:37,317 - Okay, you know what? Thank you so very much, Jerry, 317 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,945 for bringin' this to my attention and reading this document. 318 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,405 I have had enough. 319 00:13:41,405 --> 00:13:44,032 - Oh, no, there's, there's somethin' else. 320 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,952 Uh, Dennis, where's the thing and the thing? 321 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:49,162 - Here you go. - Wh-What are we doin' now? 322 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,832 [Bree giggles] - This is called a vajoga. 323 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,208 [giggling] - [softly] God. 324 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:57,296 - I'm thrilled to announce you place it between your stuff and her business 325 00:13:57,296 --> 00:13:59,423 as a protective barrier. 326 00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:05,095 - Um, Jerry, I don't think you are aware of just how hard Reed was yesterday. 327 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,222 I don't think that's gonna be enough protection. 328 00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:08,098 - Please kill me. 329 00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,350 - There's also this modesty sock. 330 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,560 - Tell me more. 331 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:15,230 - Well, you lace it around your member 332 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:18,859 and pull on the strap until you achieve a snug fit. 333 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,197 This is fun. [laughs] 334 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:25,616 - Well, I won't need a vajoga, and I won't need a sock 335 00:14:25,616 --> 00:14:28,660 because after today, I may never get hard again. 336 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,501 ♪ 337 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,797 - Hey, naughty man. 338 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,466 I knit you a scarf. 339 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:44,468 You wanna try it on for size? 340 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:48,388 - Oh, I, I don't know. I... wouldn't want you to get cold. 341 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,641 - Don't worry, I run hot. 342 00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:53,018 Especially since I hit my 50s. 343 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:58,774 - Oh, wow, you know, I, uh, just came to grab my, uh-- 344 00:14:58,774 --> 00:15:00,234 They need me on stage, so. 345 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:03,737 - Ooh, are you tryin' to run away, my little bunny? 346 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,865 'Cause that would make Mommy so upset with you. 347 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,117 - No, no, no, no. No need to get upset. 348 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,410 Nobody's trying to run away. 349 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,455 I just, l-literally, have to get back to the stage 350 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:14,331 to do my scene. 351 00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:16,625 - Oh, what if we shot a little scene? 352 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:21,505 "Interior me, Clay enters." 353 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:25,384 - Oh, boy, I would really love that, uh, 354 00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:30,222 but they're callin' me, so, uh... Clay has to exit. 355 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:40,315 Reed! Hey! Can I hide in your trailer? 356 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:41,984 - Is this Zack's mom again? 357 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,236 - Yeah, he found out, but he's not even pissed at me, 358 00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:47,573 and now that everyone's okay with it, uch, it just feels wrong. 359 00:15:47,573 --> 00:15:49,908 - So break it off with her. 360 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:53,620 - Well... Zack told me she busted out some dude's windshield 361 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:57,249 for trying to cut and run, and I can't afford that kind of trouble. 362 00:15:57,249 --> 00:15:58,542 - Well, I got problems of my own. 363 00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:01,086 Apparently, there was a whole HR meeting 364 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:05,340 about my totally involuntary and completely understandable incident. 365 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,634 - Your dick caused an HR situation? 366 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,595 - Yeah. - Interesting. 367 00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:12,973 - Now we have to rehearse the scene... What if it happens again? 368 00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:16,101 - Just be a professional and go crank your hog first. 369 00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:19,229 - I'm not gonna pleasure myself at work, Clay. 370 00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:21,481 - That's practically all I do. 371 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,901 Why do you think I never know my lines? 372 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,698 - [clears throat] Okay, it's, uh, 3:00 373 00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:33,035 and we are still in the A scene. 374 00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:37,414 - That's because it took you guys an hour to decide where to get lunch. 375 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,708 - And then an hour to complain about the lunch once it got here. 376 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,668 - That meatloaf is, is still not sitting well with me. 377 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,379 - [softly] Oh my god. - Oh, what, what organ is-is right here? 378 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,464 - Please don't die. 379 00:16:45,464 --> 00:16:47,633 Then I'd be the schlockiest writer alive. 380 00:16:47,633 --> 00:16:49,009 - What about Murray Klein? 381 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:52,513 - Murray Klein died on a sound stage just like all his pictures. 382 00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:54,223 [Bob chuckles] - He should rest in peace. 383 00:16:54,223 --> 00:16:56,850 Terrible writer, but a fantastic lay. 384 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,603 - Oh, sweet Jesus. Okay, can we, can we please get back to the story? 385 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:00,270 All right. 386 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,773 Cody is broke, why is he broke? 387 00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:04,316 - Crippling student loans. 388 00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:05,943 - Inflation. Gas prices. 389 00:17:05,943 --> 00:17:10,197 - He, He lost his job because he falls asleep whenever he hears a bell. 390 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:11,615 [laughing] - Ha! 391 00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:12,658 - What? 392 00:17:12,658 --> 00:17:15,202 - What do you mean "what?" Obviously, he's been hypnotized. 393 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,078 BOB: Thank you. 394 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,329 - When I was on the Lampoon-- 395 00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:18,622 - Okay, that's four. 396 00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:19,748 - I count five. 397 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:23,001 - What, what about, um, crypto or an NFT? 398 00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,087 - What the hell is an NFT? 399 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,548 - What if Cody loses his shirt playin' the ponies? 400 00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:31,218 - So, he's addicted to gambling and he supports animal abuse. 401 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,303 - I thought gay people were supposed to be fun. 402 00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:39,685 - I'm gonna order you some of those boxer briefs in fun colors. 403 00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:41,395 - Ooh, thank you. 404 00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:44,106 - I like it 'cause you don't see a panty line on TV. 405 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,899 [knocks on door] - Yeah. 406 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,986 - Hey, guys. We got a little situation here. 407 00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,822 This dude's from corporate HR. 408 00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:55,576 - Hi, I'm, uh, Tony Fingerton. 409 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,911 - Well, hello, Mr. Fingerton. 410 00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:00,747 May I offer you some grapes or a Go-Gurt? 411 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,166 - Oh, yeah, uh, sure. Uh, both would be-- 412 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,544 - No. We're not gonna give this creep anything. 413 00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:07,546 Wait 'til you hear what he has to say. 414 00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:09,214 - Fine. 415 00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:14,678 Uh, uh, we've, uh, received word of, um, unreported on-set romance, 416 00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:16,680 which goes against, um, 417 00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:21,393 s-- uh, section four of the employee conduct handbook. 418 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,061 - But she's not even an employee. 419 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:25,772 - W-- Uh, well, um-- - That's what I said, 420 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,483 but he said it's a problem because you were a minor 421 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,985 when your mom and I originally met. 422 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:33,280 - Correct. I-I-I'm sorry, but if you don't end the relationship, 423 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,033 we will find Mr. Barber in violation of his contract 424 00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:38,327 and he will be terminated immediately. 425 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:41,163 - Oh my. - What?! That's B.S.! 426 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,748 - Language. 427 00:18:42,748 --> 00:18:44,583 - Aw, man, bro. 428 00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:48,295 You've got a tough decision to make. 429 00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:49,922 JERRY: Okay. 430 00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:53,467 Do we dare try the kiss at the top for real this time? 431 00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:54,885 - I don't know, Jerry, 432 00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:59,473 I would hate to see Reed punch a hole in a perfectly good vajoga. 433 00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:01,183 REED: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can do the kiss. [Dennis laughing] 434 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:03,227 - Are you sure you can handle it? 435 00:19:03,227 --> 00:19:04,186 - Yeah. - Yeah? 436 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,020 - Yeah. - Okay. 437 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:08,190 - Okay, I am an artist, and I have control of my instrument. 438 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,609 - As long as I don't feel your instrument on my leg. 439 00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:12,861 - All right, people, settle, 440 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:17,241 and may god have mercy on our souls, action. 441 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:20,619 - Finally, have the house to ourselves. - Mm-hm. 442 00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:21,620 [chuckling] 443 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,841 [Bree crying] 444 00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:35,634 - Bree? 445 00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,263 Are you crying? 446 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:46,436 Wait, are you okay? - No, I just-- [crying] 447 00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:48,105 - Wait, Bree, are you okay? 448 00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:52,109 - What'd you do this time? 449 00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:55,904 - That was not my fault, completely flaccid over here! 450 00:20:01,827 --> 00:20:02,828 - Hello. 451 00:20:02,828 --> 00:20:06,039 - Look, I am so upset about this whole HR situation, 452 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,000 but you know the rules-- - Stop it. 453 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:12,713 I knew the whole thing was fake the minute "Mr. Fingerton" opened his mouth. 454 00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:15,132 - What? - Clay. 455 00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:18,385 - Okay, Susan, hold on. Don't get mad. I-- - I'm not mad, 456 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:21,263 but I am very disappointed. 457 00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:23,182 - Oh my god, that's so much worse. 458 00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:25,350 Look, it's not what you think. I can explain, 459 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:28,103 so there's no reason to start freakin' out and smashing windshields-- 460 00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:28,937 - What?! 461 00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:31,690 Wait, is that what Zack told you? 462 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:34,651 Oh, I see what's happening here. 463 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:37,821 Can I be vulgar for a moment? 464 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:38,947 - You're askin' me? 465 00:20:40,532 --> 00:20:43,744 - I like... to fuck. 466 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:46,788 And that's not easy for a son to understand about his mother, 467 00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,666 especially after a divorce. 468 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:55,297 I broke that windshield from inside the car... with my foot 469 00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:58,091 while having an orgasm. 470 00:20:58,717 --> 00:21:00,761 The neighbors heard and called the police. 471 00:21:00,761 --> 00:21:03,597 - Jesus, that's actually impressive. 472 00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:05,098 - I owe it all to kettlebells. 473 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:09,520 - So, you're not mad that I don't wanna have a relationship? 474 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,563 - I was married for 25 years. 475 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:15,400 I only go after men who have nothing to offer me romantically. 476 00:21:16,068 --> 00:21:20,072 Rough trade boys like yourself are... kind of my thing. 477 00:21:20,072 --> 00:21:22,533 - Well, being called a rough trade boy 478 00:21:22,533 --> 00:21:25,536 by women like you is, uh, kind of my thing. 479 00:21:25,536 --> 00:21:27,663 - Now that Zack thinks you'll get fired if we're together, 480 00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:30,916 it's even more forbidden than it was before. 481 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:32,167 - Hm. 482 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:34,962 - Maybe someday when you're drunk and misbehaving, 483 00:21:34,962 --> 00:21:37,965 you'll gimme a call and I'll come and set ya straight. 484 00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:41,718 - I'd like that, Susan... I really would. 485 00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:43,929 - Take care of yourself, Clayton. 486 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:47,516 But not too well. 487 00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:56,358 - She's a heck of a woman. 488 00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:00,737 [Clay sighs] I probably would've chosen my career, too. 489 00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:02,531 - Well, it was neck and neck. 490 00:22:02,531 --> 00:22:04,533 - Thanks for being so cool to my mom. 491 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:06,451 It was great seeing her happy. 492 00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:08,161 - Well, she's a nice lady. 493 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:10,497 - At least you're still my TV dad. 494 00:22:12,207 --> 00:22:16,170 - [chuckles] Yeah, well... see ya tomorrow. 495 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:17,713 - Good night. 496 00:22:22,259 --> 00:22:24,803 - Look. Hey, I'm goin' to get a hamburger after this, 497 00:22:24,803 --> 00:22:27,431 - so if you wanna-- - Seriously? 498 00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:30,142 Shotgun! - Hey, calm down, separate cars. 499 00:22:30,142 --> 00:22:31,143 - Right. 500 00:22:32,102 --> 00:22:33,187 Race ya! 501 00:22:33,187 --> 00:22:34,396 [sighs] 502 00:22:36,023 --> 00:22:40,903 - I can't believe I cried in front of everybody like that today. 503 00:22:40,903 --> 00:22:42,779 - Can I ask you something? - Mm-hm. 504 00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:44,489 - Why did you and Reed break up? 505 00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:48,952 - Oh, we made each other crazy. In the good way and the bad way. 506 00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:53,373 It was just too intense to last. Totally the opposite with my ex-husband. 507 00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:55,667 - Maybe that's why you ran off with him. 508 00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:58,837 - Yeah, I might have over-corrected. 509 00:22:58,837 --> 00:23:00,255 - So, today? 510 00:23:00,631 --> 00:23:04,176 - I think kissing Reed... took me back to the years 511 00:23:04,176 --> 00:23:08,847 when someone made me feel sexy... and loved. 512 00:23:08,847 --> 00:23:12,559 And I got overwhelmed with how long it's been. 513 00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,895 - Well, not having that in your marriage must've been awful. 514 00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:19,816 - It, It was good in the beginning. Anders and I had a lot of nice times. 515 00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:23,946 I got to wear a crown, they named an iceberg after me. 516 00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:27,032 Wait, were they calling me cold? 517 00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:28,825 - Well-- - What? 518 00:23:28,825 --> 00:23:30,035 if it makes you feel any better, 519 00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:31,870 half of the guys on the crew wanna bang you. 520 00:23:31,870 --> 00:23:34,706 - Oh my god! No, they don't. 521 00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:36,375 Do they? - Yeah. 522 00:23:36,375 --> 00:23:38,418 - Even the cute grip who looks like Jesus? 523 00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,129 - You are an 11 out of 10. 524 00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:42,798 If you were feeling yourself, you could take anybody 525 00:23:42,798 --> 00:23:44,842 in this bar home tonight. 526 00:23:44,842 --> 00:23:48,011 I think that is what you need to get yourself right again. 527 00:23:48,554 --> 00:23:50,097 - Maybe you're right. - Mm-hm. 528 00:23:50,097 --> 00:23:54,476 - Maybe I need to have hot, crazy, meaningless sex with a stranger-- - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 529 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:57,312 - no strings attached-- - Hello, ladies. 530 00:23:57,312 --> 00:23:59,147 Couldn't help overhearing-- BOTH: Nope. 531 00:23:59,147 --> 00:24:00,148 - O-kay. 532 00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:04,736 [clinking] 533 00:24:06,405 --> 00:24:07,406 [yawns] 534 00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:10,659 [clinking] 535 00:24:13,954 --> 00:24:15,414 - Can you not do that, please? 536 00:24:15,414 --> 00:24:16,707 - You want me to throw 'em on the floor? 537 00:24:16,707 --> 00:24:18,292 - That's where your nuts usually are. 538 00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:21,420 - I don't love how much you talk about Alan's genitals. 539 00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:23,463 - I'm sorry. Low-hangin' fruit. 540 00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:24,673 - How does she do it? 541 00:24:24,673 --> 00:24:26,466 - Okay, can we please get back to the story? 542 00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:29,511 Okay? Anybody, Josie and Whitney? 543 00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:31,096 - All right, Josie and Whitney. 544 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:36,185 Were we too quick to dismiss the hot, clumsy delivery guy? 545 00:24:36,185 --> 00:24:38,395 - No. - No. You've got to stop pitching that. 546 00:24:38,395 --> 00:24:41,023 - I'm telling you, it'd work. - It's too sitcom-y. 547 00:24:41,023 --> 00:24:42,816 - It's funny. - None of us laughed. 548 00:24:42,816 --> 00:24:45,819 - You know, between us, we have 150 years in this business 549 00:24:45,819 --> 00:24:48,947 and you guys haven't laughed at anything coming from this side of the table. 550 00:24:48,947 --> 00:24:51,533 - I don't know, I laughed at some of the sounds coming out of Alan. 551 00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:54,286 - Story of my life. I love onions, they don't love me. 552 00:24:54,286 --> 00:24:57,289 - I'm telling you, it could be symptoms of something serious. 553 00:24:57,289 --> 00:25:00,125 - Uh, I'm sorry, I, I just think some of the jokes 554 00:25:00,125 --> 00:25:03,712 you guys tell are a, a little c-corny. 555 00:25:03,712 --> 00:25:06,173 - Yeah, and a lot of them are wildly offensive. 556 00:25:06,173 --> 00:25:08,550 - They're like the ones my memaw tells at Thanksgiving. 557 00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:11,178 - She sounds funny. Does she have a [inaudible]. 558 00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:12,846 - Okay, yeah, I'm gonna just state the obvious. 559 00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:15,516 So, we're coming from two entirely different planets here. 560 00:25:15,516 --> 00:25:19,102 - Listen, sometimes it takes a while for a room to come together. 561 00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:20,729 - We're never gonna come together. 562 00:25:20,729 --> 00:25:22,564 Selma! Don't even. 563 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,650 - Gimme four dildos and a metronome. 564 00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:26,902 - You are a broken woman. 565 00:25:26,902 --> 00:25:30,322 - Gordon, your writers and my writers have nothing in common. 566 00:25:30,322 --> 00:25:32,366 So, don't you think that says something about us? 567 00:25:32,366 --> 00:25:35,160 - Says I know how to hire writers, nothing personal. 568 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,537 - Seems personal. 569 00:25:36,537 --> 00:25:39,957 - You know... we've barely spoken for the last 25 years, 570 00:25:39,957 --> 00:25:43,001 so I think we were fucking crazy to think this could work. 571 00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,295 - Maybe this is not the place for that conversation. 572 00:25:45,295 --> 00:25:49,299 - Or maybe there's just nothing left to discuss... Yeah. 573 00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:53,470 - Where you going? - Guys, I'm, I-I'm really sorry 574 00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:55,013 I dragged you all into this, truly I am. 575 00:25:55,013 --> 00:25:56,557 Gordon, you know what? You said this is your show, 576 00:25:56,557 --> 00:25:58,058 so do it your way. 577 00:25:58,433 --> 00:26:00,060 - What, you're quitting? HANNAH: Not much use in a room 578 00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:03,647 full of people who can't agree on a single goddamn thing that's funny. 579 00:26:03,647 --> 00:26:06,483 [clanking] Ah! [grunts] Ow, fuck me. 580 00:26:06,483 --> 00:26:08,485 [all laughing] 581 00:26:09,611 --> 00:26:12,489 Don't laugh, you guys are assholes. 582 00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:15,409 - Oh, my baby, are you okay? - No. 583 00:26:15,409 --> 00:26:17,661 - I'm talking to the garbage can. [all laughing] 584 00:26:21,290 --> 00:26:24,501 - I don't know why I'm laughing? I'm in so much pain. 585 00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:25,752 AZMINA: Wait, wait, wait! 586 00:26:25,752 --> 00:26:28,297 Josie should eat it like that in the kitchen scene. 587 00:26:28,297 --> 00:26:29,506 - Ooh, absolutely! - Yeah! 588 00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:33,051 - Especially if she just finished giving some big, melodramatic speech. 589 00:26:33,051 --> 00:26:34,887 ALAN: And then she trips over an extension cord 590 00:26:34,887 --> 00:26:38,599 'cause Cody's got his computer plugged in and he's workin' on one of those NFTs. 591 00:26:38,599 --> 00:26:40,642 - Okay, Alan, I see you. - Yes! 592 00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:43,604 - I still don't know what it is, but I like that somebody's falling. 593 00:26:43,604 --> 00:26:47,608 - Falling is always funny. GORDON: Yes. Falling's funny. 594 00:26:47,608 --> 00:26:50,027 [scattered laughter] 595 00:26:51,236 --> 00:26:52,070 All right. 596 00:26:52,070 --> 00:26:55,866 - Well, uh, we should probably order some dinner. 597 00:26:55,866 --> 00:26:57,951 - Yes, how 'bout a nice deli platter from Nate 'n Al's? 598 00:26:57,951 --> 00:27:00,204 - Ooh. - I do like their salami. 599 00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:04,124 - I bet you do, you old whore. - [laughs] You are fun. 600 00:27:04,124 --> 00:27:07,127 [all laughing] You know about salami, huh? 601 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,050 [exhales] 602 00:27:14,510 --> 00:27:16,136 [ringback tone] 603 00:27:16,136 --> 00:27:17,554 [phone vibrating] 604 00:27:18,305 --> 00:27:19,723 - Hello? - Hey. 605 00:27:20,182 --> 00:27:24,394 I tried to catch up with you today, but they said that you took off. 606 00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:29,608 Just, uh, wanted to check in in a, in a totally non-condescending way. 607 00:27:29,608 --> 00:27:32,861 - [chuckles] I'm doing better, thanks. 608 00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,696 REED: Good... Very good. 609 00:27:35,364 --> 00:27:39,368 I also wanted to, uh, let you know that you were right. 610 00:27:40,035 --> 00:27:44,122 Um... deep down, I was worried about, 611 00:27:44,122 --> 00:27:46,750 you know, whether I was gonna feel that old spark again 612 00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:48,669 ever since I heard the show was coming back, 613 00:27:48,669 --> 00:27:51,088 and, obviously, I still felt it, 614 00:27:51,088 --> 00:27:55,133 and... uh, you literally did as well. [both chuckling] 615 00:27:55,133 --> 00:28:00,764 But [clears throat] I... just, uh, I just, uh, had a sense today that, 616 00:28:00,764 --> 00:28:03,559 uh, maybe you felt something too. 617 00:28:03,559 --> 00:28:05,769 So, you know, if you wanted to talk about it. 618 00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:06,645 - You know what? 619 00:28:07,104 --> 00:28:08,438 I appreciate you saying that, 620 00:28:08,438 --> 00:28:10,858 but I'm actually in a really good place right now. 621 00:28:10,858 --> 00:28:11,692 - Oh. 622 00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:13,610 Okay. 623 00:28:14,194 --> 00:28:15,404 Glad to hear it. 624 00:28:16,154 --> 00:28:18,156 - Yeah... Good night, Reed. 625 00:28:19,992 --> 00:28:21,201 - Good night? 626 00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:25,455 - Everything okay? 627 00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:26,915 - Everything's great. 628 00:28:26,915 --> 00:28:29,918 ♪ "Oh Shit" by The Pharcyde playing ♪ 629 00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:37,551 ♪ Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit ♪ 630 00:28:37,551 --> 00:28:38,594 PERSON [screams]: No! 631 00:28:38,594 --> 00:28:44,600 ♪ Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit ♪ 632 00:28:44,975 --> 00:28:50,981 ♪ Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit ♪ 633 00:28:51,857 --> 00:28:57,863 ♪ Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit ♪ 634 00:28:58,739 --> 00:29:00,365 ♪ Oh shit ♪ 635 00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:04,703 [music flourish] 636 00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:07,706 [fanfare]