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♪ upbeat music playing ♪
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What's the difference between
a croque madame and a croque monsieur?
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It's actually the exact same sandwich.
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The croque madame has
an egg on the top of it.
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So the female version
of the sandwich has an egg.
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That's really reductive.
- What do you want it to have?
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Lipstick and a push-up bra?
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Can I get a black-and-white cookie,
or is that gonna start a thing?
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Excuse me.
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Hi, Elaine.
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Oh, network executive on the floor.
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Hannah, Gordon, can I talk to you two?
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In private?
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Ooh.
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Damn it, we're getting canceled.
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Nobody's getting canceled.
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Famous last words.
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Now I have to go to
Puerto Vallarta with my wife.
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Two things I love,
skin cancer and diarrhea.
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Nothing for me, please.
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There's been a bloodless coup.
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- What?
- At Hulu.
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Remember my boss Daniel Silva?
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The one who promoted me
from research and greenlit the show?
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He got fired late last night.
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Oh, shit.
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They already brought in a new guy
who's cleaning house,
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heads are rolling left and right.
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I don't want to go back to Silicon Valley.
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I'm too little to micro-dose.
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For me, it's just dosing.
- This is not good.
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The new regime always wants
the old one's stuff to fail.
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On my film Cunt Saw, a new boss came in
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and he cut our release in half,
down to two theaters.
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I won't be able to
tell my family if I get fired.
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I spent all Thanksgiving bragging about
my Disneyland discount.
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- We get a Disneyland discount?
- Not for long.
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Okay, okay, everybody relax.
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You know, on the original run of our show,
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we had four different network presidents
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over like eight years.
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You could set your watch by it.
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So, trust me.
We got nothing to worry about.
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Okay, okay, good to know.
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Yeah, that is a huge relief.
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So, who's the new guy?
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Um, his name is Tyler Griffin.
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Uh-oh.
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So, Bree, what it's like
going from being a duchess
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halfway across the world
back to your old show?
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So fun!
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I love this show more
than anything in the world.
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And, yes, I will always cherish
my time in Fjordstad,
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but being a royal was never really me.
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You know, I'm a mid-western girl
with small-town values.
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Do you mind moving?
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You're staring and it's distracting me.
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Speaking of royalty,
how do you feel about
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the developments with
your ex-husband, the duke?
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Well, that depends on which developments
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you're talking about.
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There have been so many lately.
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That he's getting married
to his former assistant?
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Yes, she is lovely
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and I'm so thrilled
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that he will no longer
be so sad and lonely
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since I left.
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And, of course, that she's pregnant
with his baby.
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Yeah.
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How about that?
I couldn't be happier for them.
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And I've moved on, too.
Reed Sterling and I, we're back together
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and nobody knows this,
but we're madly in love again.
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And we're even talking
about having children ourselves.
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That's unbelievable!
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I know.
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♪ upbeat music ♪
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Why do you hate him so much
after all these years?
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Tyler Griffin is
the reason the show ended.
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He's just, he's a no-talent,
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self-serving, back-stabbing liar
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who failed upwards.
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He's the kind of guy
he's like all smiles to your face
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while he's sticking
his foot up your ass.
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You know, that's a thing.
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He changed our time slot four times
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in one season, four times.
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Our own fans couldn't even find the show.
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Then he has the gall to tell the press
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that we, quote, "under performed."
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How's that? Under performed.
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The word still frosts my balls.
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So, I told the press
what actually happened
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and that apparently didn't sit well
with him and he got really annoyed
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and canceled the show.
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I thought the show ended
'cause Reed left.
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No, Reed never would've left
if we weren't circling the drain.
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To be fair, Griffin may also resent
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the fact that you fucked his wife.
- Also that, yeah, yeah.
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- Wait, you actually slept with his wife?
- For revenge.
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I got the idea from Tin Men.
- Great movie.
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Danny DeVito smashes
Richard Dreyfuss' Cadillac,
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so Richard Dreyfuss seduces DeVito's wife.
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I had the idea for that movie.
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I was gonna write it over a hiatus,
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but it turned out I never had the time
because we went too long on ALF.
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Didn't you also claim
you had the idea for Tootsie?
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And Caddyshack.
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I have quite an impressive list
of films I almost wrote.
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Okay, I'm sorry, can get back
to the important point
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of you fucking his wife?
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Hey, before you get
on your holy high judgy horse,
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let me point out that this
was during a very brief period
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where your stepmom and I
had an open relationship.
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Not open, but it was ajar.
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Ew. Oh, my God.
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I mean, this is bad.
You understand how bad this is.
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= Seriously, are we gonna get canceled?
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I just bought a mattress.
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If we do, Alan can
finally write Casablanca.
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I have a funny story about that.
Okay, I can't believe
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we're finally in a groove here
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and now it's gonna end
because you felt the need
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to stab someone
in the back with your dick.
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Also a thing.
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Stop.
Relax.
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He never even found out
about me and his wife.
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And, trust me,
this prick has so many people
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in town who hate him
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that I'm not even a blip on his radar.
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Excuse me?
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Yes, Elaine?
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Hannah, Gordon,
can I talk to you two in private again?
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Here we go.
Adios, amigos.
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Hey, you know what.
Everybody knows everything.
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Just tell us.
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Mr. Griffin wants to meet
with you and Hannah right away.
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I'll cut you a check for the mattress.
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Anything under a queen.
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I didn't mean you.
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I'm usually on top. Fine.
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♪ upbeat music ♪
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Clay?
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Clay?
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Clay?
- What?
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Oh, man, you scared me.
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I thought you were dead.
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Even worse. I've been domesticated.
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- I don't get it.
- I'm buying a fucking house.
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I'm supposed to sign the papers today.
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- Wait, your first house?
- Yeah, I'm trying to stay sober
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so I gotta move away from all the drunks
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and drug addicts in my building.
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Ugh. What if I say something stupid
and get canceled
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and can't afford to pay the mortgage?
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And do I even wanna be that fucking guy
with the yard and bushes?
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Aw, shit.
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Am I gonna be the old man yelling at kids
to get off his lawn?
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I used to do coke in bathroom stalls
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and now I'll have a powder room.
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Dude, it's normal to be nervous
when you buy your first house.
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Imagine how scared I was.
I was 14.
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You bought a house at 14?
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Yep. Then almost every time
I made a movie,
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I bought another one.
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I have six now and I rent out five
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through my Zack Attack
Real Estate Holdings, LLC.
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It's a sick deal.
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Appreciation, passive income,
tax advantages.
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How do you know all this?
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I starred in the movie Little Slum Lord.
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The character was complex
'cause he was mean,
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but he also adopted a puppy.
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Trust me, Clay.
Buying a house is lit.
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If you want, I can go with you
to Bed, Bath & Beyond
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and get all the stuff you need.
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Zack, listen up.
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If I ever go to Bed, Bath & Beyond,
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bludgeon me to death with a pizza stone.
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♪ playful dramatic music ♪
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Hey, you okay?
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I just found out in an interview
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that my ex-husband is having a baby.
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- Oh, no.
- I wanted kids, but he didn't
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because he already had
these gross, stupid teenagers
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from his first marriage.
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I would have been such a good mom.
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Yeah, maybe.
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Unlike my mom,
I would never tell my daughter
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her eyes were too close together,
even if they were.
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I'd protect her self-esteem
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and tell her she was
getting her tonsils out
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and then secretly, I'd fix her.
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Or maybe no kids.
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Yeah, no, there's nothing wrong with that.
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So, how did you handle it on camera?
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Like a pro.
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I said I was happy for him
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because Reed and I were back together
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and we were maybe gonna have a baby, too.
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- You and Reed are back together?
- No.
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Honey, he has a girlfriend
and his interview's up next.
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- I know.
- Yeah, okay.
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One of us should warn him.
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God, I'll do it.
- Good.
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- Where is the--?
- That way.
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Reed!
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Reed!
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I need to talk to you, it's urgent.
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Okay, I-
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Hello.
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I, I'm Nora, Reed's--
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- Yeah, no, it's really nice to meet you.
- You, too.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:05,003
So, great to finally see all this.
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00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,256
- Ha!
- Yeah, yeah, I'm--
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00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:09,883
Reed, Reed thinks I'm in New York,
so I'm surprising him.
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00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,678
- That is a surprise.
- Yeah.
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Um...
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- Nora!
- Surprise.
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00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:21,812
- All right.
- Uh, what... I can't believe this.
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00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,481
Um, hey.
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00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,066
- Hi, hi.
- Hey.
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00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,987
Um, when did you,
what, how did you two, uh--
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We just--
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Oh, we just, no, no, just now, we just--
- Uh-huh.
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Because she came in
with something urgent
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you wanted to tell him or?
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It was nothing.
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Oh, oh, okay.
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00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,668
So how did it go from urgent
running in to nothing?
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Because it was a Wordle thing.
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I couldn't figure out the Wordle
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and then it just popped in my head
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and now I'm not panicking.
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It was so nice to meet you.
You are so pretty
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in a strong and self-confident way
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and I love your blazer.
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00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,270
What? Hey.
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00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,564
No, okay, hold on, what was that?
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00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:06,607
What was what?
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00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:11,069
Is there something going on
that I need to know about?
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00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,572
Between me and Bree? No.
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Okay, 'cause she just came--
she didn't even knock
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and she just came flying in
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00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:20,078
and we both know there's no way
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she figured out the Wordle.
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That one?
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00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,499
Yeah?
Reed, they're ready for you.
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00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,084
Oh, God, I have an interview.
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00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,836
- It's fine, I'm fine.
- I'm just--
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00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,714
I can't do this right now anyway,
so I'm gonna go back to your hotel.
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00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,883
I'm gonna rest.
That's what I'm gonna do.
253
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,219
Yeah, that's great. Just rest up, yeah.
Take a bath.
254
00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:36,970
The tub's big enough for two people.
255
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,306
I'm guessing.
256
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,142
Based on how alone I feel when I'm in it.
257
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,477
I hear a female voice.
258
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:44,561
Is Bree in there?
259
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,522
Bree, I have your purse.
260
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,524
Okay. I'm gonna go.
261
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:53,195
Fuckin' Dennis.
262
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,365
Right this way.
263
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,284
Thank you, Marty.
264
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,995
It's great to be at the wheel again.
265
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,081
Just bring me some hits.
266
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:06,083
When? This weekend?
That could definitely work.
267
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,085
You know we love Malibu.
268
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:10,712
Oh, you're in Oxnard.
269
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,881
Oh, yeah, oh, wait.
270
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,301
Oh, darn.
We got a wedding.
271
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,011
Yep, well, let's do something soon.
272
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,263
All right, gotta go.
273
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,684
I get the top job and all of a sudden,
274
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,311
I got more agents up my ass than
a hooker at upfronts.
275
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,731
So, I'm in my first staff meeting
276
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:33,277
this morning when I hear
"Step Right Up" is back
277
00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,070
and it's mine.
278
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:37,197
And I think this is my lucky day
279
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,992
'cause I get to reconnect
with my old friend Gordan Gelman.
280
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,536
Okay.
281
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,706
You must be Hannah.
282
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,500
I've heard wonderful,
wonderful things about you.
283
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:52,713
Oh, um, thank you, that's,
that's very nice of you to say.
284
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,590
And I understand you made
some kind of horror movie.
285
00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:55,799
What-what was it called?
286
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:56,967
Um, it's called Cunt Saw
287
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,760
and a lot of people think
it's a horror movie,
288
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,512
but it's actually not.
The title is a metaphor
289
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:03,015
for the struggle that women
face in a male-dominated--
290
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,933
Right.
Let's, let's get right down to it.
291
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,476
What, he asked.
292
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:10,314
Yeah, all right, so, uh,
just, why don't you say it?
293
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:11,857
We're canceled, right?
294
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,108
Is that what you thought?
295
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:15,068
- No?
- No.
296
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,489
I saw a cut of the new show
297
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,659
and I think it's really great.
298
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,120
- Oh.
- Especially compared to the original.
299
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,998
It's hipper, it's smarter,
it's less old-timey sitcom.
300
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:30,542
Hannah, I have to assume that's you
301
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,337
because it's, it's like a different show.
302
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,840
Um, well actually, it is more of a,
303
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,258
it's more of a collaboration.
304
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,384
Here's the thing.
305
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,513
What do you think of that actress
you just added, Timberly Fox?
306
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,516
She, she's great.
307
00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:47,976
We love her.
- Oh, well, then this may hurt.
308
00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:50,521
'Cause I'm gonna cast her as a lead
in a new series.
309
00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:52,523
We start shooting next week in Romania.
310
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,859
Uh, wait, what?
311
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,027
I'm taking your woman
312
00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,905
even though you love her.
313
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,865
But I wanted to tell you face-to-face,
314
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,659
'cause I think it's the right thing to do.
315
00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:06,995
Hold up, um--
She's huge in the next three episodes.
316
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:09,748
We'd have to throw out all our scripts
and start from scratch.
317
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,708
Well, I imagine
that'll be heartbreaking.
318
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,753
But, you can't just
take an actress from us.
319
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:15,879
We have a deal with her.
320
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,006
No, actually, we have a deal with her.
321
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:21,134
But, believe me, I take no joy in this.
322
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,847
Speaking of no joy,
I may need to make some cuts
323
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,807
in the promo and production budgets,
324
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,725
which we are all hoping will not lead
325
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:32,437
to the show's slow,
painful, lingering death.
326
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,856
Hmm.
327
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,023
Gordon, old friend.
328
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,483
You seem pretty quiet. What do you think?
329
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:40,237
- You really wanna know?
- I really do.
330
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,074
- Well, old friend--
- Dad, Dad.
331
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:48,704
I think God
doesn't give with both hands,
332
00:13:48,704 --> 00:13:50,414
so when he made you handsome,
333
00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:53,000
he figured, I can't give him brains, too,
334
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,836
so you charm people
into thinking you're interesting
335
00:13:55,836 --> 00:14:00,174
and you, you bully people
into thinking you're smart,
336
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,633
but you're not.
337
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:06,263
You're not.
You're, you're a stupid, pretty man.
338
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:07,764
And you know what?
339
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,184
You wouldn't know a good show if--
340
00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:11,476
If what?
341
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,729
If it slept with my wife?
- Oh, boy.
342
00:14:13,729 --> 00:14:14,980
Okay, there it is.
343
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,691
Well, so you know, we were all drinking
344
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:21,778
at a William Morris party
and she came on to me.
345
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,071
Bullshit.
346
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:25,157
Not bullshit.
I remember it very clearly.
347
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,492
She leaned over
and she whispered in my ear
348
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:32,331
that she wanted me
because you under performed.
349
00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:37,503
That was the word she used,
under performed.
350
00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:39,963
Let's, let's go,
we don't need this asshole.
351
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:48,430
Well, that was unfortunate.
352
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:51,391
Uh, yeah, yeah.
353
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,938
For the record,
I would never allow that
354
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:59,399
decide the fate of "Step Right Up"
355
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,152
because that would be wrong.
356
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,698
But is it just me, or would you be
better off without your dad?
357
00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:15,958
With all due respect,
it's just you.
358
00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,210
♪ whimsical music ♪
359
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,341
Boom!
360
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:27,010
Gordon! Hey, Gordon.
361
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,304
What?
362
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:31,431
What the hell was that?
363
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,560
That was the crowning achievement
of my career in television.
364
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,437
Oh, I see, you're proud
of your grandiose monologue up there.
365
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,314
I, I just wish I remembered
exactly what I said.
366
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:40,774
I should have brought
a writer's assistant.
367
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,276
You know, I'm gonna do that next time.
368
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,278
Hey, you know what?
There's not gonna be a next time,
369
00:15:44,278 --> 00:15:45,863
if you don't go up there
and apologize to him.
370
00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:47,698
The way I called back "under performed,"
371
00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:49,533
that was a stroke of genius.
I'm telling you.
372
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:53,036
Writers in this town are gonna be
talking about this story for years.
373
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,913
It's gonna be like a new, "Who Jackie."
374
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,165
- What?
- You don't know who--
375
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,750
In the original Roseanne,
there was a writer--
376
00:15:58,750 --> 00:15:59,793
I truly don't care.
377
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,003
Hey, you seem to have forgotten
378
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,754
that over 100 people work on our show,
379
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,381
most of them with families.
380
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,258
So what you did
up there may have been fun,
381
00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:08,051
but you just jeopardized
all their livelihoods.
382
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,887
So good job, Tin Man.
383
00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:12,181
♪ dramatic music ♪
384
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,733
- What's wrong?
- I'm freaking out.
385
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:26,528
There's a new boss at Hulu
who's firing tons of people.
386
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,155
I won't go back back to Deedle,
I won't do it.
387
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:29,656
Wait, slow down.
388
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,074
There's no way they're gonna fire you.
389
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:33,035
You are amazing at your job.
390
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,245
Who else would tell the writers
to start the story earlier.
391
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,916
It doesn't matter how good
you are at your job.
392
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:41,335
When a new regime comes in,
nobody is safe.
393
00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:43,295
Executives, shows.
394
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,547
Wait, you think shows aren't safe?
395
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,424
Do you think they'll cancel us?
396
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:48,884
Anyway, nice running into you.
397
00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:51,678
Likewise.
398
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,431
Thank you for answering
all of my business questions.
399
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,642
Just performing the duties of my job.
400
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:03,065
The new guy has a bad history with Gordon.
401
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,275
They just had a meeting today
and things only got worse.
402
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,694
Oh, man.
This sucks.
403
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,612
I love this show.
404
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,155
Hannah said in season two,
405
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,990
they were gonna figure out
if Cody has a job.
406
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:14,284
And Clay!
407
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,328
I just convinced him
to go through with buying a house.
408
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:17,496
I better go warn him.
409
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:20,123
No! You cannot say anything to anyone,
410
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:22,835
especially not today
when there's a reporter on set.
411
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:24,002
But he's my friend.
412
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,963
Zack, the only reason I told you this
413
00:17:25,963 --> 00:17:28,006
was because
I needed someone to talk to.
414
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:29,258
If I can't confide in you,
415
00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:32,427
which dips below the previous ratings
in woman 18 to 49.
416
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,596
Well, I wish I didn't know that
417
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:36,974
because it puts me
in a pretty awkward position.
418
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:38,767
Well, I thought
our business relationship
419
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,478
was such that you could keep
sensitive data confidential.
420
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,897
If it comes at the expense
of one of our colleagues,
421
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:47,526
maybe we need to re-examine
that business relationship.
422
00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:49,069
Good day.
423
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,912
I, I just need your signature here,
424
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:02,541
here and here and the house is all yours.
425
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,543
Put this right there.
426
00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:07,254
You know, they say getting
your first sale is the hardest.
427
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:10,048
I, I really hope this real estate
thing works out for me.
428
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:13,177
I guess either way,
I end up on a bus bench.
429
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:16,013
Dougie.
You knew me since the beginning.
430
00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:17,931
No bullshit, am I making a mistake?
431
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:21,018
Absolutely not.
No, oh, also, initial there.
432
00:18:21,018 --> 00:18:23,604
When I'm dragging
my recycling bin out to the curb
433
00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:25,939
or getting some
shitty kid's Frisbee off my roof,
434
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,275
will I even... still be me?
435
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:31,778
Sure, but you know what,
if, if you're leaving cans and bottles
436
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,448
on the curb, I could take
those off your hands.
437
00:18:36,325 --> 00:18:37,951
Clay, wait.
438
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,870
Do not sign that.
- What?
439
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:44,625
I'm not sure it's a good idea
for you to buy a house right now.
440
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,169
This morning,
you were all over me to buy it.
441
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,671
- What the fuck, Zack?
- Yeah, what the fuck, Zack.
442
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:51,882
Oh, also, initial there and there.
443
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:53,634
Wait, aren't you the HR guy?
444
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:55,969
Oh, sorry, I need
two jobs there, Hollywood.
445
00:18:57,513 --> 00:19:00,015
I think you should wait
446
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,975
before making such
a big financial commitment.
447
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:04,061
- Why?
- No, no, no, no, wait, I've seen this.
448
00:19:04,061 --> 00:19:07,773
He wants to swoop in
and buy the house himself.
449
00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:11,193
By the way, if you don't have
a real estate agent--
450
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:14,112
Because this business is weird.
451
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:16,907
Things change. And nobody knows
how secure our jobs are.
452
00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:20,953
Yeah. You're right.
453
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:22,371
Dougie, I think we should take a beat.
454
00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:25,040
No, no, no, no, Clay.
Let me punch this bitch out.
455
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:29,920
You, you and I, buddy,
we have always bet on ourselves.
456
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,088
Am I right?
457
00:19:31,088 --> 00:19:33,298
Not really.
I pretty much expect to fail.
458
00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,844
Zack, is there something
you're not telling me?
459
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,390
No.
460
00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:42,766
No.
461
00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:45,185
I don't know anything.
462
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,939
Then fuck it,
I can't think about this anymore.
463
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:53,110
There, I'm neutered.
- Yes!
464
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:55,571
Yes, in your face, shithead.
465
00:19:55,571 --> 00:19:57,489
Two people just got a home today.
466
00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:00,117
Congratulations.
467
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:06,206
So Reed, what's the best part
about being back on the show?
468
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,624
Uh, well, you know, Carly,
469
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,835
I really love being
back together with the gang,
470
00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:13,255
but mostly I'd say the nicest thing
this time around is that
471
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,591
we've all settled into
our roles with maturity,
472
00:20:15,591 --> 00:20:18,177
you know, with, um,
seasoning, if you will.
473
00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:20,179
And we all are so familiar with each other
474
00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:21,555
that there are no surprises, so.
475
00:20:22,014 --> 00:20:25,976
I must say, I was surprised today
when Bree shared the happy news.
476
00:20:25,976 --> 00:20:26,852
Oh, what news is that?
477
00:20:27,436 --> 00:20:29,146
She told me that
you two are back in love.
478
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,815
Really?
479
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:33,734
And talking about having a baby.
480
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:38,363
- Really?
- I broke the news on
Twitter 20 minutes ago...
481
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:39,740
- Oh.
- ...and "Step Right Up" fans
482
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:40,866
are already buzzing.
483
00:20:42,993 --> 00:20:46,121
Well, no one is buzzing more than me.
484
00:20:51,043 --> 00:20:54,338
So tell me what is
involved in recreating a--
485
00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:58,175
Okay. Hee, hee, hee!
486
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:00,802
It's Nora, text me.
487
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,222
You!
488
00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:05,390
No, no, no.
- Ooh.
489
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,976
What the actual fuck
did you say to that reporter?
490
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:10,687
Okay, okay, I was trying to warn you,
but I didn't wanna do it in front of Nora.
491
00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:13,315
Oh, no, that's right.
Yeah, better she finds out on Twitter.
492
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:15,484
Oh, it's on Twitter?
Is it trending?
493
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,904
Why would you say that to a reporter?
494
00:21:18,904 --> 00:21:22,616
Look, I didn't mean to,
but I found out on camera
495
00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:26,286
that Anders married his assistant
and they're having a baby.
496
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:29,248
I felt like I was drowning
and I needed something to hang on to.
497
00:21:29,248 --> 00:21:30,499
Oh, like my neck?
498
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:32,584
Nora already suspects
499
00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,545
that there's something
going on between us.
500
00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:37,172
She's the jealous type, huh?
That is a red flag.
501
00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:38,465
Red flag?
502
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:41,134
You are the one that just told
the world we're having a baby.
503
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,886
Ohh. Okay, drama queen,
504
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,429
I said talking babies.
505
00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:45,639
We're not talking babies!
506
00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:47,224
Well, we kind of are right now, so.
507
00:21:47,224 --> 00:21:48,559
Hey, this isn't a fucking game.
508
00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:49,643
It is my life.
509
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:57,025
- I'm sorry.
- Mm-hmm.
510
00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:58,944
I am.
511
00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:01,446
You were the first person I thought of.
512
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:03,365
Why? Are you trying
to break up me and Nora?
513
00:22:04,825 --> 00:22:07,119
No.
That's crazy.
514
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:08,829
Is it? I, I don't understand
what's happening.
515
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:11,206
Are you trying to get
back together with me?
516
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:12,624
Why are you asking me that?
517
00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:13,876
'Cause I need to know.
518
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:18,714
No.
519
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:21,008
I told you, I just panicked.
520
00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:22,801
I don't know what's going on between us,
521
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:24,720
but the fact that
you would drag me into this
522
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,764
without any regard
for the consequences, oh God.
523
00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:33,478
Oh-- for 15 years,
I was sane and centered
524
00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:37,357
and then two months with you
and I am heading down crazy river
525
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:39,234
straight toward batshit falls
526
00:22:39,234 --> 00:22:40,861
and I am done.
527
00:22:40,861 --> 00:22:42,321
Oh, my goodness.
528
00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:44,740
Is that Reed Sterling
and Bree Marie Jensen?
529
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:47,576
I heard these two have a baby
who's about to "Step Right Up."
530
00:22:47,576 --> 00:22:49,703
Let's hear it for the happy couple.
531
00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:50,829
We're not happy!
532
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:57,127
All right.
Speaking of comic monsters,
533
00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:59,213
who here is a fan of
"Young Frankenstein"?
534
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:03,425
♪ gentle guitar music ♪
535
00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:05,552
No...
536
00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:09,765
- Gentlemen.
- Hey, Gordon, how are you?
537
00:23:09,765 --> 00:23:11,266
Good, good.
538
00:23:17,231 --> 00:23:19,483
How did you get injured?
539
00:23:19,483 --> 00:23:21,360
[on monitor] You told me
it was a sex injury from last night.
540
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:23,153
I was protesting last night.
541
00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:25,447
Who were you having sex with?
542
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:26,990
Oh, shit, I forgot.
543
00:23:26,990 --> 00:23:28,534
I forgot.
544
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:31,078
Hey, Keenan, let it run for a second.
545
00:23:31,078 --> 00:23:32,538
Oh! You forgot your line
546
00:23:32,538 --> 00:23:34,456
or you forgot who you
were having sex with?
547
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,083
Both, both.
548
00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:37,626
Wait, I thought
you were having sex with me.
549
00:23:37,626 --> 00:23:40,128
Oh, no, trust me,
I would remember that.
550
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:41,964
You guys were having sex
without me again?
551
00:23:41,964 --> 00:23:43,507
We were just having--
That was part of the deal
552
00:23:43,507 --> 00:23:45,592
of getting to stay.
553
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:47,302
Wait, do you even live here?
554
00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:49,721
All right, thank you.
555
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:50,931
Do you live here?
556
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:53,934
How about if Lawrence says,
557
00:23:53,934 --> 00:23:57,187
"Don't ask me, I still got
a middle-aged man living in my garage."
558
00:23:57,187 --> 00:23:59,356
Wait, I though Cody lives in the garage.
559
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:00,691
Oh!
560
00:24:00,691 --> 00:24:03,026
Ow, you are really wound up.
561
00:24:03,026 --> 00:24:06,321
You guys are lucky Janae's not here
because she would taken you down.
562
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:08,031
- What does that mean?
- She defends me.
563
00:24:08,031 --> 00:24:09,867
- Oh, she does--
- Yeah.
564
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:19,168
Hi, me again, may I?
565
00:24:19,168 --> 00:24:21,795
By all means.
I certainly enjoyed your last visit.
566
00:24:21,795 --> 00:24:23,046
Thank you.
567
00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:25,507
Well, look who's back.
568
00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:29,136
- You got a minute?
- Anything for you, old friend.
569
00:24:36,310 --> 00:24:39,062
♪ whimsical music ♪
570
00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:02,920
Oh, Christ, it actually goes ding-dong.
571
00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:09,301
- Clay Barber?
- I don't even know anymore.
572
00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:10,427
This is for you.
573
00:25:26,193 --> 00:25:28,862
♪ dramatic music ♪
574
00:26:06,567 --> 00:26:08,485
Oh, good, you're here.
575
00:26:09,027 --> 00:26:12,239
I woke up to about a dozen texts
asking me if it was true,
576
00:26:12,239 --> 00:26:14,074
that you and Bree
are getting back together
577
00:26:14,074 --> 00:26:16,159
and having a baby.
578
00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:19,037
I mean, is it?
579
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:23,083
Oh, God, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
580
00:26:23,417 --> 00:26:25,419
During a TV interview today,
581
00:26:25,419 --> 00:26:28,505
Bree found out that her
ex-husband was getting remarried
582
00:26:28,505 --> 00:26:29,882
and having a baby.
583
00:26:29,882 --> 00:26:33,802
She freaked out and said
the first thing that popped into her head.
584
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:36,346
Why is that the first thing
that popped into her head?
585
00:26:36,346 --> 00:26:38,056
I don't know and I don't, I don't care.
586
00:26:38,056 --> 00:26:39,600
- Jesus.
- I've stopped trying to figure out
587
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,767
what's going on in her head.
588
00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:43,562
But that is the reason why she rushed
589
00:26:43,562 --> 00:26:45,606
into my trailer, to warn me.
590
00:26:46,273 --> 00:26:48,025
But she saw you and then...
591
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,446
Nora, I swear that is what happened.
592
00:26:56,158 --> 00:26:58,660
On camera. Fuck.
593
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:00,287
- Yeah.
- That's brutal.
594
00:27:00,287 --> 00:27:01,371
- Yeah.
- Ugh.
595
00:27:02,539 --> 00:27:04,458
But still, I am, I am...
596
00:27:06,251 --> 00:27:07,961
I am so tired.
597
00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:10,506
I'm so tired.
I'm tired of the play.
598
00:27:10,506 --> 00:27:12,883
I'm tired of us long distance.
599
00:27:12,883 --> 00:27:15,594
I'm-- the fucking FaceTimes, I can't.
600
00:27:16,929 --> 00:27:19,973
I just, I don't know,
I just, I feel like I'm,
601
00:27:19,973 --> 00:27:21,600
I just feel like I'm losing you.
602
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,435
No, you're not, you're not, okay.
603
00:27:25,646 --> 00:27:28,357
In fact, you know what?
604
00:27:31,235 --> 00:27:33,320
Nora, marry me.
605
00:27:34,613 --> 00:27:37,032
- What?
- Yeah, I love you.
606
00:27:37,533 --> 00:27:39,618
You are inspiring
607
00:27:39,618 --> 00:27:42,371
and intelligent and brilliant
608
00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:46,208
and, and beautiful and rational.
609
00:27:46,208 --> 00:27:50,003
You are everything
that I need in a person.
610
00:27:51,505 --> 00:27:53,590
So what do you say?
611
00:27:56,176 --> 00:27:59,096
I don't know if this is
the Ambien talking, or...
612
00:27:59,888 --> 00:28:01,932
Yeah. Yes.
613
00:28:01,932 --> 00:28:03,183
- Yes?
- Yeah.
614
00:28:03,183 --> 00:28:04,268
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
615
00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:05,519
- Okay, yeah.
- Really!
616
00:28:05,519 --> 00:28:06,562
Oh, God.
617
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:09,731
I can't believe we're doing this.
618
00:28:09,731 --> 00:28:10,941
This is really happening,
we're doing this?
619
00:28:10,941 --> 00:28:12,401
Yeah, yeah. We are doing this.
We are--
620
00:28:12,401 --> 00:28:14,236
We are really doing this. Yes.
- Okay.
621
00:28:15,654 --> 00:28:17,573
Oh, perfect, it's my mother.
622
00:28:17,573 --> 00:28:18,949
She has, she has a Google alert on you.
623
00:28:18,949 --> 00:28:20,534
She has not stopped calling.
624
00:28:20,534 --> 00:28:22,160
Tell her the news, there you go.
625
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,996
Okay, okay.
626
00:28:24,621 --> 00:28:26,999
Hi, Mom.
Yeah, I'm with Reed right now.
627
00:28:26,999 --> 00:28:28,625
Jesus, he's not an asshole.
628
00:28:28,625 --> 00:28:30,252
Why, why are you yelling?
629
00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:54,610
- What?
- I know you're probably with Nora,
630
00:28:54,610 --> 00:28:56,820
so just listen.
631
00:28:57,279 --> 00:28:59,573
I wasn't honest with you before.
632
00:29:00,282 --> 00:29:02,409
The reason I said
that we were still together
633
00:29:03,285 --> 00:29:05,787
is because I knew it would hurt Anders,
634
00:29:06,371 --> 00:29:09,416
because he was always jealous of you.
635
00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:13,587
I guess he sensed that my feelings
for you never really went away
636
00:29:14,588 --> 00:29:16,673
and that he would never
be the love of my life.
637
00:29:20,636 --> 00:29:22,888
I think that honor belongs to you, Reed.
638
00:29:33,899 --> 00:29:35,442
I just got engaged.
639
00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:41,031
Oh.
640
00:29:47,412 --> 00:29:49,957
- Okay.
- Hey.
641
00:29:49,957 --> 00:29:52,251
So just got off the phone
with Mallory and--
642
00:29:52,251 --> 00:29:54,920
Oh, your HR girlfriend.
How's that going, the two of you?
643
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,214
She's not my girlfriend.
Not technically.
644
00:29:58,006 --> 00:30:01,009
Maybe we're both waiting for the other
to say the word, I don't know.
645
00:30:01,009 --> 00:30:02,636
Okay, anyway, she told me
646
00:30:02,636 --> 00:30:05,264
that if Griffin messes with the show
647
00:30:05,264 --> 00:30:07,516
due to a personal grudge,
648
00:30:07,516 --> 00:30:09,184
that could be grounds for us--
649
00:30:09,184 --> 00:30:10,561
Let, let me stop you right there.
650
00:30:10,561 --> 00:30:12,938
I just met with him again, problem solved.
651
00:30:14,606 --> 00:30:15,774
So you apologized?
652
00:30:15,774 --> 00:30:18,193
Uh, no, I quit.
653
00:30:19,570 --> 00:30:21,238
You what?
654
00:30:21,238 --> 00:30:22,489
I had no other choice.
655
00:30:22,489 --> 00:30:25,284
This guy is petty and ruthless
656
00:30:25,284 --> 00:30:26,785
and if I stayed, I promise you,
657
00:30:26,785 --> 00:30:29,079
he would find some reason to cancel us.
658
00:30:29,079 --> 00:30:30,706
So, we made a deal.
659
00:30:30,706 --> 00:30:33,041
I leave and he doesn't fuck with the show.
660
00:30:33,876 --> 00:30:36,128
No, no. Yes.
661
00:30:36,128 --> 00:30:38,547
Uh, no. I'm sorry.
You do not get to be the hero here
662
00:30:38,547 --> 00:30:41,049
sacrificing yourself to save us all.
663
00:30:41,049 --> 00:30:42,926
- Uh--
- Did you try apologizing?
664
00:30:42,926 --> 00:30:45,554
Oh, sweetie, I'm too old
665
00:30:45,554 --> 00:30:48,390
and too rich to apologize
to a guy like that.
666
00:30:48,390 --> 00:30:50,184
I-- that's not gonna happen.
I can't--
667
00:30:50,184 --> 00:30:52,603
That's not in my DNA, sorry.
668
00:30:53,687 --> 00:30:54,897
So you didn't even try.
669
00:30:56,315 --> 00:30:59,985
Instead of swallowing your pride,
you're just leaving
670
00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:02,779
me.
671
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:05,532
I, I'm not leaving you.
672
00:31:05,532 --> 00:31:08,410
I'm leaving an impossible situation.
673
00:31:09,077 --> 00:31:11,205
Yeah, where have I heard that before?
674
00:31:11,205 --> 00:31:14,583
No, no, this is not
like that, come on. You--
675
00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:16,585
It's gonna be fine.
676
00:31:16,585 --> 00:31:18,879
You, you totally got this.
677
00:31:18,879 --> 00:31:21,840
You're doing great
and, and come on, you know,
678
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,217
it's not like we're not
gonna see each other.
679
00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:24,510
We'll see each other all the time.
680
00:31:25,886 --> 00:31:27,804
So do me a favor
and just thank everybody
681
00:31:27,804 --> 00:31:29,598
for me and send my regrets.
682
00:31:29,598 --> 00:31:32,017
- You're not gonna say goodbye?
- I-- hmm.
683
00:31:32,017 --> 00:31:33,602
I stink at goodbyes.
684
00:31:35,020 --> 00:31:36,688
But you, you already knew that.
685
00:31:42,736 --> 00:31:44,321
I'm proud of what you and I did here.
686
00:31:46,865 --> 00:31:48,909
And the show's pretty good, too.
687
00:31:55,582 --> 00:31:59,461
♪ Welcome to your life ♪
688
00:32:00,379 --> 00:32:05,008
♪ There's no turning back ♪
689
00:32:05,008 --> 00:32:09,638
♪ Even while we sleep ♪
690
00:32:09,638 --> 00:32:12,474
♪ We will find you ♪
691
00:32:12,474 --> 00:32:16,895
♪ Acting on your best behavior ♪
692
00:32:16,895 --> 00:32:21,567
♪ Turn your back on Mother Nature ♪
693
00:32:21,567 --> 00:32:26,989
♪ Everybody wants to rule the world ♪
694
00:32:29,992 --> 00:32:32,494
Ding-dong, ding-dong.
695
00:32:38,458 --> 00:32:39,459
Hey.
696
00:32:40,752 --> 00:32:41,837
Nice house.
697
00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:45,757
What are you doing here?
698
00:32:45,757 --> 00:32:46,717
I don't know.
699
00:32:48,844 --> 00:32:50,512
I just don't feel like being alone.
700
00:32:52,848 --> 00:32:54,975
Not sure I should be alone either.
701
00:32:58,020 --> 00:33:02,941
♪ Everybody wants to rule the world ♪
702
00:33:11,617 --> 00:33:13,869
♪ All for freedom ♪
703
00:33:13,869 --> 00:33:16,330
♪ And for pleasure ♪
704
00:33:16,330 --> 00:33:21,210
♪ Nothing ever last forever ♪
705
00:33:21,210 --> 00:33:25,589
♪ Everybody wants to rule the world ♪