Lidia (v.O.): Previously on moonshine...
Ryan: I will find your bio mom for you.
I'm having twins!
Crystal clean means more to me than anything!
I need to go to la on my own.
Ryan: Aunie is your bio mom.
Lidia: We need to work.
The feds are building a case against the marauders.
Bea: The moonshine could be a historical site?
It could be.
-Protected land? -Yeah.
Lidia: They're building a resort?
Not a chance in hell.
♪
["chaise longue" by wet leg playing]
♪
♪ mommy, daddy, look at me
♪ I went to school and I got a degree ♪
♪ all my friends call it the big d ♪
♪ I went to school and I got the big d ♪
♪ I got the big d
♪ I got the big d...
♪ I got the big d
♪ I went to school and I got the big d ♪
♪
[moaning]
Terry: I missed you so much!
♪
♪ excuse me (what?)
[bird cawing loudly]
[groans]
[bird cawing loudly]
♪ what are you doing sitting down? ♪
♪ you should be horizontal now ♪
♪
[loud bang] [bird caws]
♪
Still got it.
♪ on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue ♪
♪ on the chaise longue, all day long on the chaise longue ♪
[relaxed sigh]
♪ on the chaise longue, all day long... ♪
[ankle monitor beeps]
["bad side of the moon" by April wine playing]
♪ this is my life, this is my life ♪
♪ this is my life, my life
Eleanor: [on phone] hey, mom.
Hey, honey! I miss you.
Not you, daniel.
Daniel: [on phone] ha-ha, love you too, lids!
Lidia: What's going on?
-Okay, well, you know how you always freak out
When I tell you things, even though you're always
Encouraging me to tell you things?
Bit of an exaggeration.
I don't want to go to college!
I want to explore my music.
[exhales]
I think that's a fabulous idea.
Who thinks that's a fabulous idea?
Sometimes the best education is no education.
A formal one, anyway. Ambition is overrated.
And the system? Ha!
The system needs to chill the f out.
The system you prepped me to dominate since I was in utero?
-Trust me, in 30 years, no one will care what you did,
Or thought, not even yourself.
-Is this a menopause thing? -No!
I had time to process over the winter and I realized
That some things just aren't all that important.
A shower that works, important.
A minor in renaissance plumbing?
Is that grandpa's bathrobe?
Ah!
Beer for breakfast?!
It's queen victoria's birthday.
May 24th.
Hence...
My 2-4!
May she ever reign!
[trumpet fanfare]
Mom! Ugh!
[moaning]
I've never gone this long without sex with another person.
[text message notification]
Oh...
Ugh, it's my boss.
Seriously? While I'm inside you?
He loved my podcast. He wants another smalltown epic.
Do you mind if I, um...?
That's a no, right?
[exhales]
Oh, come on, terr! Now, don't be mad.
Blowjob?
Not with your phone in your hand.
What am I, an amateur? I don't need hands.
[belt buckle clinks]
[moans]
Oh...
[text message notification]
♪
Ken: "old-school postcard from your old-school wife.
"love to the kids. Bea."
[door opens]
Ken: Love to the kids... Alright.
Is that from mom?
Another month of shows.
Who knew the seniors' version of rent would be such a smash?
Boca.
Guess I wasn't the only one that needed some time away.
Yeah, well, your mom will be back.
She just needs some time to spread her wings.
Maybe I should do that.
Hitch a ride to England with you in the fall?
Yeah.
I think you'd actually really love it.
I got hooked on this reality show
About these, like, super-hot, party hound aristocrats.
Very cute accent.
You spent a semester in oxford watching television!
[laughs]
I half expected you to come home with an accent
And some of that blotter acid with the queen's face on it.
My 70-year-old dad knows more about street drugs than I do.
Do me a favour.
Have some fun this summer.
It's time, son.
Make us ashamed.
♪
[breast pump whirring]
[pump beeps] oscar: Nice!
You beat your last time by two seconds!
You're on fire, rhi!
I don't know what the big fuss is.
Parenting, having it all? Pssh, eat me!
I'm crushing this!
-There is nothing you can't do.
-No, there isn't.
-So, how did it go at the, uh...
Obgyn?
Good, I guess.
I mean, now that the twins are three months,
She's given us the finger of approval.
Yes! Yes!
The gates to humpville are officially open!
Oh, it's like there's a choir of angels...
In my pants.
[gasps] 1,400 hours.
The twins' nap time.
Anywhere from 6 to 23 glorious minutes.
You... Me...
Finger...
[meows]
♪
Oh my god...
-[children laughing] -hey, kids!
♪
What's up, man?
[gasps] you're back?
Yes! Ha-ha, hi!
[squealing]
Terry refused a blowjob. From me!
My god-given gift.
-Oh my god, I missed you so much.
And not just 'cause I smoked all your weed and need more.
-This, this...? This is...
-Oh, yeah. It's my new thing.
Pretty sure it's an old thing.
[chuckles]
Rhian: Listen up, bitches!
Welcome back.
Ken: What's up?
I just secured a last-minute booking
For the shore club, baby! May 2-4 party!
-Woo! -For who?
Oh, some rich shmuck
Who agreed to pay triple what we normally charge.
Open bar, all-you-can-eat,
Which we'll shut down before anyone can get seconds--
And the best part is,
Everyone's invited for karaoke
So the whole town can see me crush "rebel yell."
Yeah! [cockney accent] billy idol?
Oscar: Oi!
Crystal: Oh, I love karaoke!
Even like classic rock songs, except for the ones
Written by, like, creepy old white dudes who, like,
Hate women and have crazy addiction problems, which...
Which I guess is a lot of classic rock.
Ken: Finley-cullens don't do karaoke.
No, we do not.
-Bad juju. -Uh... Why?
Any time a finley-cullen picks up a mic... Disaster.
Any time this family does anything it's a disaster!
No, rhian.
But the client has requested it!
We're in the service industry. Don't you aim to serve?
Fine, we don't have a karaoke machine, anyway.
Little miss la can dj, and you better not shit the bed.
Missed you, sis.
Dad, can you handle the food?
Sammy's on bar. Crystal can clean.
Oh, um, sorry, you will have to contact
My corporate liaison to see if I'm available.
-Way to boss up, babe! -[giggles]
-As for pr, décor, and fancy-ass cocktails--
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Can I stop you right there?
I'm not helping.
I've decided to follow the path of least resistance.
No more helping. No more big ideas.
No more lidia-ing.
From now on, I am trading the a-type for some z-type.
Z-type? She did this once before.
It lasted a week.
Rhian: Can't you wait until after the party?
There is a massive resort being built next door.
We have to cash in while we still can!
Well, you're gonna have to do it without me.
It's for the good of the moonshine
That I take a step back.
Way back to my hammock,
Where I'll be chillin' chilly chill, smokin' a fatty.
[car approaches]
Shit!
♪
Lidia?
Are you trying to avoid me?
No. Why would you think that?
Because you texted nora saying
That you were trying to avoid me.
Listen, terr...
You seem tense; I think we both know why.
[chuckles]
-You're on house arrest,
Which means that you need to check in
With your case worker on a regular basis.
Don't you open mail?
I can't take the stress.
You got off easy because you agreed to share
What you knew about the marauders.
-I'm aware. -Okay, well, then you're aware
That you need to follow the rules.
No leaving the province, gainful employment,
And zero contact with one gale favreau.
Do sex dreams count?
Asking for a friend.
And the employment?
Well, here I am at the moonshine,
The place... I employ!
No, you're a part-owner. It doesn't count.
-Yeah, but I didn't want to be part-owner.
-I don't make the law.
Now, hq is breathing down my neck,
So you need to submit a pay stub within the next 48 hours.
-Come on! Terr...
You're not actually expecting me to get a summer job, are you?
What am I, 15?
Two days.
Or I'm bringing you in.
♪
Ng]
Lidia: This one goes out to all the other brave women out there
Who made the choice to downshift.
Cast off your dreams, hopes, and ambitions, and just...
-Be. -God...
["sailing" by christopher cross playing]
I'm a natural.
You have the musical taste of a 70-year-old.
I am not hiring you.
How about a talk show? A little segment about
Simplifying your life, like marie kondo?
-Mm-hm, with a rap sheet and unwashed hair.
-Ugh, can't you tell terry to ease up?
I mean, how the hell am I supposed to get a job
In a town where everyone thinks I'm a felon?
Lidia, this whole z-type shtick, are you depressed?
Are those depression roots?
No, I'm great!
I'm unemployed, but great.
-Mm-hm. Barely return my calls.
What really happened last winter?
Nothing.
-Well, the ankle monitor begs to differ!
-Oh, it wouldn't be so bad if it came in rose gold.
Nora: Lids?
["sailing" by christopher cross playing]
-Lids?! -Ah! Huh?
Lidia: Ugh!
Okay, fine.
I did something stupid.
More stupid than hijacking an 18-wheeler of snow crab?
-There was a sale on egyptian cotton.
You know, bedding.
Bedding?
Yeah. The, uh, outlet mall in maine.
I crossed the border even though I wasn't supposed to.
Terry got a tip, picked me up, and... [gasps]
Oh, good, now you're feeling sorry for me.
Job? Please?
Yeah, no one listens to the radio anymore, okay?
The only reason I am back here is because this is the only job
That lets me anxiety-smoke inside.
-And terry, ugh... -I don't get it.
He was so pumped about his trip to la.
He asked me to help him find an outfit for that desert party.
White linen?
All me! Old me.
It wasn't a party, it was a sound bath in joshua tree
With my boss.
Ultra-chill. New me approves!
Yeah, until a shaman showed up.
We all did ayahuasca and terry shit himself.
[gasps] oh! Ooh...
Oh yeah, big dump.
-White linen... -Yeah.
Thanks for that.
See? Everything I touch.
Woman: [on video] very exciting, this is freddie.
Sammy: [british accent] hello...
My name is oliver.
Penniless but posh.
[normal accent] that's terrible.
[practicing "hello" in british accent]
[coughs] hello, my name is oliver.
Penniless but posh.
Love the accent, oliver.
London?
[british accent] uh, no.
Oxford.
Well, oxford, could you spare a hand?
I can't reach my back.
[british accent] does that line ever work?
You tell me.
♪
[sunscreen squirting]
♪
Love what you've done with the place...
Come on, let's go get some air.
I can't be seen playing cards with the enemy.
[sighs]
Come on, how much did those sneaky resort-builders
Give you for that strip of swamp?
-Yeah, well, turns out jail was...
Good for meeting rich people!
My cellmate was the developer's accountant.
They came to see me behind bars.
Which is more than I can say for you and bea.
We were in boca,
And that land isn't even yours to sell.
Technically, it's moonshine territory.
You got a deed?
You know we don't!
Your criminal family traded that land for a moroccan rug
Full of hash.
You make it sound so tawdry.
Hey, I'm not the one with the record.
No, your daughter is.
You leave liddy out of this.
She's suffered enough.
You're a low-rent campground catering
To party hounds and mullet-heads named oink.
Bougie hipsters wanting a weekend at the spa
Are not gonna take business away from the moonshine.
-Maybe not, but a summer of noise, construction,
Trucks running back and forth?
People come to the moonshine for r&r.
We'll be dead by July.
-If you were smart,
You'd sell it to the developers and cash out like I did.
I know you get tired of wallowing in two-star misery,
Broken this and flooded that.
Or is hip-deep in shit kind of the finley-cullen happy place?
Why do you think your wife got the hell out of dodge?
♪
Huh.
♪
Teenager: And what makes you think that you're qualified
To pursue a career as a dishwasher?
♪
Lidia: I often feel I was a greyhound in another life.
-[dogs barking] -okay, okay, alright!
Hold on! Aah!
-Oh... -[dogs barking]
Augh!
[dogs barking and yelping]
Lidia: Well, I realize the pay is less
And the jobs are smaller at foxton design,
But I am up for new challenges.
Unpaid internship?
Bite me.
Ugh.
I saw your ad and I was like,
"wowza, elder care? My jam!"
So much wisdom to gain.
I was a great comfort to my own father-in-law
When he was palliative.
No boundaries. That's nice to hear.
Uh, you good with your hands?
Oh, I am--
Was-- an architect, so I'm very creative!
[laughs] that's me.
Creative lidia.
Well, creativity doesn't really matter much here.
Uh, given the age of our johns.
...Johns?
Everyone gets a happy ending; "happy endings elder care."
♪
[laughs]
♪
So, this a holiday?
[british accent] uh...
A working holiday.
-Ah. -[british accent] you?
Same.
[british accent] bit of, uh, slumming
Till my father beckons me back to the old pile.
Ooh, fancy!
[british accent] are you... Staying at the moonshine?
Uh, no. I'm crashing in my van.
It's close by.
You want a tour?
[phone notification]
[british accent] I have to be at work now.
It's nice meeting you.
You sure you don't want that tour?
♪
[sighs]
[sliding door squeaks open]
Oh!
Shh!
Twins are asleep.
We have an hour before we have to be at the club.
Is it that time already?
You like my outfit? Comes in red too.
We are going to hump-de-dump till you get rug burns, baby.
Oh, honey buns, I'm not sure that, uh, rug burns
Are what I need right now.
Well, what do you need?
Uh, just maybe, like, hold me?
Hold you? Where?
Oh... I know.
No, like, like... Nuzzle me.
Nuzzle you? I can do that, no problem.
-Oh, stop, stop, stop! -Stop what?
-This. -What?
-This, this! -This what, this what?
I... I can't.
I have things to do.
I've got, like, a business to save,
Human beings to nurture.
Like, what about being me do you not understand?
Rhi...
-Rhi, don't, don't--! -[door slams]
[baby cries]
Augh!
Crystal: It is so weird, in the best possible,
Correct spelling of the word "weird,"
That you needed a summer job at the exact same time
Crystal clean was hiring! Ha!
What are the odds that I'm virtually unemployable
And a master's degree would be meaningless?
Up, up, and away! Am I right? [laughs]
-I'm really proud of you.
Starting your own business, paying off that van.
You've come a long way.
-Well, technically, I'm right back where I started,
Cleaning at the moonshine,
But it does feel pretty good to be my own boss
And ready to take crystal clean to the next level!
Cabin 6?
No! A whole second employee!
Especially someone as awesome as you.
I mean, having a real boss babe on staff?
That is, like, instant credibility
For crystal clean's 1,000 and growing tiktok followers.
Former boss babe.
All I'm aiming for now is simplicity, you know?
Time and space to figure out... Well, maybe nothing.
Just living life like a regular jane.
Okay, but there is nothing regular about you.
You are the most determined and colour-coordinated person
That I know!
Well, what did all that add up to?
Did you know, when I was running the firm,
Three quarters of the jobs I bid on were won by men
I wouldn't hire to design my screen-saver.
That is criminal!
And I would know!
-So I overcompensated.
I tried too hard, promised too much.
God...
All those dreams I had of architectural digest
Featuring my redux of a pre-war classic
With potential for a fourth bedroom
And private rooftop garden...
What was it all for?
Nude sunbathing?
It was selfish.
My ambition hurt self, kids, family.
And now...?
I'm gonna hurt that toilet.
[laughs awkwardly]
♪
[video game sound effects]
♪
Babe?
I am really worried about lidia,
And it is not just because she is changing her name
To jane regular.
Another hot biker?
I wish I could get behind that, but no!
She's giving up on her dreams because she feels like
She worked too hard and she screwed everything up,
And she never got to bathe nude in the sun!
She never got a chance to shine!
Well, now she can shine things for crystal clean!
No!
Ry, if lidia is gonna get back to being the mentor
I need her to be,
She shouldn't be spending her time scrubbing toilets.
You need lidia in the same way
That I need to obliterate aliens--
Not just for my survival,
But for the survival of my planet!
Yes, and while there is a definite art
-To toilet sanitization... -Absolutely.
...Letting lidia go is the least I can do
To help her get her mojo back!
She's not the firefly, ry! She is the fire!
I'm picking up what you're laying down, babe!
-Yeah!
So, as my corporate liaison
And head of hr,
You will talk to her?
You can count on me, babe.
-[squeals] yeah!
That's my sexy head of hr!
Whoa, oh my god, they're so hard!
Uh, in the spirit of healthy partner communication, I--
Only communicado mama needs right now
Has to do with the may 2-4 party.
I'm trying to find that idiot's contact number
And I can't find the booking sheet!
I want to talk about what happened.
What didn't happen.
Are you okay? Are we okay?
Oh my god, was it the leopard print?
I knew I should have gone with the zebra stripes!
I don't have time for this right now.
Look, I know it's a lot.
The twins, this place...
Bathrobe lidia.
Your mom gone. But...
I'm here...
For you.
I can take on more. I can do more.
You want to do more?
Find the contract, okay?
It's in your hand.
Rhian: "wesworld."
What kind of a name is that, dutch?
[laughs] it does look familiar.
Who made this booking?
I-I think it was you. This is your handwriting.
No, it's yours.
The "w" just got peed on.
Oh my god, oscar.
What have you done?
♪
You agreed to host a party for the enemy.
♪
Oscar: Oops.
Rhian: Our mortal enemy
Is trying to butter up the community.
Do you know why?
Because the new resort is breaking ground
Sooner than we thought. Do you know why?
Because someone hasn't done anything to stop it yet.
-If we can prove this is a historical site...
-I call aunie every hour on the quarter-hour.
"authenticating a viking dagger is time-consuming!"
Slackers, all of you.
-You're right, my love. You're totally right.
I don't speak rhian. I barely speak oscar.
Oh my god, it's been five minutes
Since we paid off our tax debt.
It's like we're living in a dumpster fire,
Only with a revolving door.
You try to escape, but you just get spun back
Into the burning hot garbage.
Roasting, basting, crackling, reducing,
Until you can't tell yourself apart from the trash flames!
It's all my fault.
All me. I-I...
We need to burn the human flesh of our enemy, and fast.
-Make the developers regret the day
They ever sunk a penny into that land.
Oh, yeah.
How are we gonna do that?
Rhian: Lidia.
Ooh, on-brand tequila!
That's a first... And a second, please!
Have you seen lidia?
No, but I hope she shows up soon to see your lives get ruined.
And you have vomit on your shirt.
Aww.
Alright, narrowed it down.
The developer's either buddy with the murse,
Or the lady with the quite possibly real alligator sandals.
-They both look like asshats to me.
-Yes, but which one is big city developer asshat?
-You're the cop.
-Eh, county cop.
Have you seen lidia?
No?
Ryan: Lids, what you're doing isn't working.
You gotta hold orange at a 45-degree angle
-To build up the pressure. -Ah.
[bong bubbling]
Then rip out the bowl.
[bong bubbling]
-[laughs] -[coughs]
And that's how you do cali sober!
-Why'd you want to talk to me?
Reasons.
Really good ones.
Ry...
I know everyone's skeptical, but...
This lifestyle is not a cry for help, okay?
It's a choice.
This bathrobe? A choice.
These mismatched socks, a choice.
This unwashed hair, well...
Actually that wasn't a choice.
I ran out of my bond-strengthening shampoo.
My decision to not pay duty to have it shipped
Across the border, that was... [giggles]
Oh my god! I'm really high.
Lids, I respect your choices.
I'm mr. Choices.
But I'm also an expert on the z lifestyle.
Sure, there are short-term gains,
But it leads nowhere.
You're gonna wake up at 40 with nothing to your name
But a worn-out pair of jorts,
A grown son you thought was your brother,
And a bedazzled tank top which you still
Technically owe $24.99 for, lids.
Hmm.
Ryan: Someone looks relaxed!
Sammy: Mm-hm.
Are you coming from somewhere relaxing?
-Actually, yeah.
Although I did let him believe I was a low-level aristocrat
From oxford named oliver.
Lidia: See? All just some postures.
♪
Ryan: I'll let it slide this one time, son.
Don't call me "son."
[laughter]
[bong bubbling]
Oh!
-Sammy: [coughs] -ryan: [laughs]
♪
[country rock playing in bar]
Have you seen lidia?
-Oh, geez, can everyone just let her be?
She's living her worst life. Get over it.
And lay off the serpico shit, terr, okay?
You're not gonna arrest your sister-in-law
On a Saturday night.
Okay, I'm just trying to do my job.
[laughter]
Nora: Shit.
Even sammy got stoned without me?
Ugh... Aww, I wanna have fun!
Well, I'm sorry I'm so boring.
It's no fun corrupting the already corrupted.
-That's why I like boring. -No, you don't.
You wish I was different, maybe more like your boss.
Andreas?
I wouldn't bang that guy with someone else's vag!
Although I might have to,
If I don't come up with a new podcast idea soon.
I just feel that you went away
And you had all these amazing experiences without me,
And now that you're back
You're wondering if our life together is enough.
Is that what's going on with you?
You're intimidated by my career?
[laughs] no, no.
-That is some serious man-baby shit.
Not tonight, terr, okay?
[laughs dismissively]
Hey!
Good?
Yeah?
Sammy: Shit!
Be right back.
You got irish whiskey?
[british accent] 'ello, mate!
Hi.
-[chuckles] -this where you work?
[british accent] guilty as charged.
I haven't stopped thinking about you.
[chuckles awkwardly]
Oh, okay, wait-- uh, um...
Don't freak out.
Are you doing me?
It's pretty good.
Uh, no, actually, I'm... I'm doing me.
Me who?
Me who doesn't have a real english accent...?
Um, I'm not from oxford,
And I-I don't own an ancestral pile on the isle of man,
And my name isn't oliver, it's... Sammy.
[laughs]
[both laugh]
Penniless but not posh.
My dad said I was boring and so I pretended not to be,
And now I'm... Oh my god, I feel so stupid.
And I totally understand if you never want to see me again.
Also, I'm really, really high.
[chuckles]
Look, I haven't been entirely honest with you, either.
You don't live in a van?
This is actually my party.
I'm weston lonergan.
Of wesworld.
The developer?
That's... You?
Guilty as charged.
♪
Katie: Props on the evening wear tube top, nora!
So tubey!
But with lift.
You brokered a land deal that will ruin my family.
No, I brokered a deal that will put foxton on the map.
Come on, does anything around here ever really change?
You did.
Anywho, ain't no stopping us now.
We're on the move.
We've got the move! [giggles]
My karaoke song.
Oh, sorry, thirsty, but the shore club
Is a karaoke-free zone thanks to a mandated
Lack of machinery and several decades of my mother singing.
So...
My client brought his own machine!
Did you know that I am a true soprano?
Like katy perry.
[giggles] whoop!
♪
[sighs]
♪
Rhian: Oh my god, thank god you're here!
I'm not here, I just have to pee.
Okay, this may come as a shock,
But solo-managing the business, the babies,
And tending to the insatiable sexual needs of my husband
Is a lot.
Rhian, no. I'm not getting involved.
Lidia, please.
Dad is a mess. Mom bailed.
Oscar has no idea of the psychological or physical toll
It takes to grow and squeeze two identical humans
Out of a hole the size of a kumquat.
Oh, I know it's a lot, hun,
But you will get through these first few years of parenting.
I've been there.
I was so tired I don't remember being there,
But I was; I've seen the family photos.
What's that?
Blueprints for the stupid resort.
♪
What?!
Rhian: Do you sense a flaw in the battle plan?
No.
-Something to save us? -No.
Ryan: She always does that squinty-eye thing
When she's lying.
Especially when she's really high.
I know that under that filthy robe
Is a repressed a-type. I can't do this alone.
I can't even pee in a straight line anymore.
There's room in the trench, sister!
Let's fight this war together!
♪
Respect the landscape.
-Rhian: Yes! -Ryan: A-ha-ha!
Natural curve of the bedrock...
-Graffiti! Make 'em afraid!
Lidia: The putting course alone will knock out
A dozen acres of old-growth pine!
-Hold on... Those aren't dicks!
-No, she's fixing it.
-Are you insane? Don't help him!
Oh my god, gimme back my marker.
Nora: Hey, hi. Uh, not to be alarmist,
-But we need to leave. -Rhian: What, why?
We have the enemy in our crosshairs.
Yeah, and he has us in his.
♪
Lidia: Oh, shit...
Karaoke.
What's your poison, kid?
I don't know.
I don't know anything anymore. Who am I?
What does it all mean? Am I even a man anymore?
I want to be there for rhian
But we're not speaking the same language.
I want to hear her, I want her to hear me,
But I don't know how.
Don't look at me, kid.
My wife's on stage in tallahassee
Playing a geriatric, hiv-positive erotic dancer.
♪
Hi!
So, did you talk to lidia?
Yeah, she was super chill!
Oh, so did you explain to her my firefly versus fire theory?
I may have forgotten about that part.
-Oh. -And the other parts.
But I'm recommitting myself to being on it, starting... Now!
So, basically, you did not talk to lidia?
-Talk to me about what?
Oh, hi!
You are fired.
And also, you're welcome!
Now go and spread your wings and fly, little firefly!
Fly!
["turn me loose" by loverboy starts playing in bar]
[crowd cheering]
[feedback buzzes]
[clears throat]
Argh! [muttering to herself]
Crowd: Sing! Sing!
Sing!
Oscar: [clears throat] this one goes out to, uh...
Crowd: Sing, sing, sing, sing!
Lidia: Oh, you wanna hear a song?
Woman: Yeah-ah!
-A song about a total hack? -Man: Whoa!
That's right, mr. Wesworld.
It's about as original as his stupid resort.
Where are you?
Raise your hand.
Aww, what are you, like 12?
That's who I'm up against in this life?
That's the guy...
That gets all the magazine covers,
All the jobs, all the glory!
An entitled brat with the design aesthetic of a microwave.
-Oh, god.
-Not that I give a shit, but your, uh, "design"?
A soulless, west coast facade in nova scotia?
Wah, just threw up in my mouth a little!
I have two words for you:
Biophilic architecture.
No clue what that means?
Neither does your basic bitch architect.
[crowd exclaiming in shock]
Oh, and free tip, jackass?
You can't build a spa like that on swamp land as you have it.
The structure will collapse!
Your guests will be getting mud treatments,
But not in a good way.
[crowd laughs]
And if you think my family is gonna stand back
And let this happen...
You think I will stand back and let this happen?
Not tonight, satan!
[crowd cheering]
Rhian: Oh, shit!
Lidia (v.O.): It's times like these,
Times when a woman's risked it all,
That she realizes even at rock bottom,
There's so much more to lose...
Her mind.
She also realizes she should have worn a bra.
[lidia screams]
-[thud] -[crowd gasps]
[cackles]
Ow...
["turn me loose" by loverboy continues playing]
Rhian & nora: ♪ why don't you turn me loose? ♪
♪ turn me loose...
♪ turn me loose!
♪ I gotta do it my way...
[out of tune] ♪ or no way at all!
[crowd cheering]
♪
You must be so proud.
It's not her, it's the god-damned karaoke.
We're doomed.
The whole family is doomed.
Offer's on the table, ken.
Are you propositioning me?
Just sell this shithole already, and cash in.
Come on, the moonshine's over.
It's time.
Who knows...
Maybe I am.
♪ turn me loose!
♪ turn me loose, turn me loose! ♪
[lidia joins in] ♪ I gotta do it my way...
♪ or no way at all!
♪
Nora: I cannot wait to tell her...
Rhian: Do we need to lock this from the outside?
Nora: No!
Lidia: Stay. Stay with me!
-Come, come... -Rhian: Oh god, alright.
Ugh.
♪
[bea singing on video]
[bottles breaking and dogs howling on video]
Nora: Karaoke...
Mom ruined it every time.
She never told me everything would be so...
All of it, so effing hard.
Yes, she did.
Every damn day.
Look at our life.
Us, dad, the moonshine,
Campers' complaints,
Putting up with all that bullshit for all those years.
It's a miracle she lasted as long as she did.
No wonder I have no husband and kids.
I'd be dead because I would have killed myself.
-We're dead if that resort build goes forward.
[lidia sighs]
What's gonna become of us?
♪
[rhian snoring]
♪
[giggling]
♪
[chuckling]
-[phone notification] -oh.
Ugh!
My boss, andreas.
Cutting edge eyewear asstard with time zones.
Okay.
♪
[door opens and shuts]
Sorry. Uh, crazy day.
Personal issues.
Andreas: Ooh, juicy. Do tell.
-Uh, well, my sister lidia is in meltdown mode,
Which is ironic since she's the normal one in the family--
Well, she used to be the normal one.
It's a long story. But she, uh...
She moved back from the big city
And shit-canned her life last summer.
She met this killer biker, and then she hijacked a truck,
She got arrested, and she's been in a death spiral ever since,
Yadda yadda yadda, so...
Andreas: I love it.
Love what?
Andreas: Your new podcast idea!
Can you have the pilot outline ready for me, say, next week?
["all by myself" by eric carmen playing]
Oscar: ♪ when I was young...
Sammy: So... What do you think?
Wes: I think that blonde chick was right.
My design does suck and it can't...
I can't suck.
I actually meant this place.
Does a night at the shore club beat an ancestral pile
On the isle of man?
Do you forgive me?
♪
Can you say that again with the accent?
♪
Oscar: ♪ all by myself
♪ I don't wanna be
♪ all by myself
♪ anymore
♪ all by myself
♪ I don't wanna be
♪ all by myself
♪ anymore...
♪