1 00:00:01,673 --> 00:00:03,634 LUKE: All right, girls, what we rehearsed. 2 00:00:03,717 --> 00:00:06,094 -MAN: Drums. -(SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES FANFARE PLAYING) 3 00:00:08,889 --> 00:00:11,308 (ALL VOCALIZING SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES FANFARE) 4 00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:16,438 -MAN: Hey. -(VOCALIZING CONTINUES) 5 00:00:18,607 --> 00:00:20,651 (ALL VOCALIZING OFF KEY) 6 00:00:24,321 --> 00:00:26,156 KEEGAN: Girl, we sound mad good. 7 00:00:27,991 --> 00:00:30,160 -(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) -MAN: She's an icon. 8 00:00:30,244 --> 00:00:31,578 She's a legend. 9 00:00:32,204 --> 00:00:33,413 She's an icon. 10 00:00:34,414 --> 00:00:35,499 She's a legend. 11 00:00:35,874 --> 00:00:38,043 NOAH: "It is a truth universally acknowledged 12 00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:40,879 "that a single man in possession of a good fortune 13 00:00:40,963 --> 00:00:43,090 "must be in want of a wife." 14 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:46,843 You know who said that? Jane Austen, the queen. 15 00:00:46,927 --> 00:00:48,303 Fucking shit. 16 00:00:50,514 --> 00:00:53,225 Pretty dope way to start a story, right? (CHUCKLES) 17 00:00:53,308 --> 00:00:57,312 Well, no offense to my girl, Jane, but that sounds like some hetero nonsense. 18 00:00:58,230 --> 00:01:01,275 Listen, I don't know much about a good fortune, 19 00:01:01,358 --> 00:01:05,404 but not every single man is looking for a wife. 20 00:01:05,487 --> 00:01:06,613 Hey. 21 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:08,198 Oh. 22 00:01:08,448 --> 00:01:09,950 Hey, you. 23 00:01:10,701 --> 00:01:12,578 You're still here, which is awesome. 24 00:01:12,661 --> 00:01:15,372 -Except, um, you have to leave. -Sorry, what? 25 00:01:15,455 --> 00:01:17,583 No, listen, last night was fun. 26 00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:19,668 -(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) -MAN: She's an icon. 27 00:01:19,793 --> 00:01:21,545 But seriously, you gotta go. 28 00:01:23,463 --> 00:01:26,800 Yeah, I know that looked a little harsh, but he had boyfriend energy, 29 00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:28,385 and that is just not me. 30 00:01:28,468 --> 00:01:31,179 Besides, this week is sacred. 31 00:01:31,263 --> 00:01:34,182 We're going to Fire Island. It's like gay Disney World. 32 00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:35,392 Fun for the whole family... 33 00:01:35,475 --> 00:01:36,727 LUKE: Come on. Hurry up! 34 00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:40,856 -...except when I say family... -Get on the boat! 35 00:01:40,939 --> 00:01:43,025 -I think about those faggots. -HOWIE: Let's go! 36 00:01:43,108 --> 00:01:45,611 NOAH: Please don't cancel me. I'm reclaiming it. 37 00:01:45,694 --> 00:01:48,071 To me, it just means, um, sisters. 38 00:01:48,155 --> 00:01:51,241 -Stupid bitch, Noah. Every year. -NOAH: I made it, didn't I? 39 00:01:51,325 --> 00:01:53,869 -How? You missed every train. -I took a Lyft. 40 00:01:53,952 --> 00:01:56,830 What, from Bushwick? What is that? Like, a $300 ride? 41 00:01:56,913 --> 00:01:59,625 -How are you paying for this? -You finally start a OnlyFans? 42 00:01:59,708 --> 00:02:01,126 It's called a credit card, idiot. 43 00:02:01,209 --> 00:02:03,378 You've literally never made a student loan payment, 44 00:02:03,462 --> 00:02:04,921 who would give you a credit card? 45 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:07,215 Amanda at Forever 21. 46 00:02:07,299 --> 00:02:08,300 -Amanda. -Oh, my God. 47 00:02:08,383 --> 00:02:09,801 NOAH: So, yeah, we're poor. 48 00:02:09,885 --> 00:02:11,011 Not, like, poor-poor, 49 00:02:11,094 --> 00:02:14,931 but poor as in none of us have a chance in hell of buying property, ever? 50 00:02:15,098 --> 00:02:16,850 But this is what brought us together. 51 00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:18,518 We all met almost ten years ago 52 00:02:18,602 --> 00:02:21,396 working at the same cursed brunch spot in Williamsburg. 53 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,232 Bottomless mimosas, bitches! 54 00:02:24,316 --> 00:02:25,692 (LAUGHS) 55 00:02:25,901 --> 00:02:27,986 NOAH: Back then, we were broke queers, 56 00:02:28,070 --> 00:02:30,864 subsisting off of predatory student loans and brunch tips. 57 00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:31,948 LUKE: Come here, baby. 58 00:02:32,491 --> 00:02:34,493 -NOAH: That's Luke and Keegan. -Oh! That's good. 59 00:02:34,576 --> 00:02:35,952 NOAH: They met in theater school. 60 00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:38,455 They were both eventually kicked out of the program, 61 00:02:38,538 --> 00:02:40,582 but they're still convinced they're stars. 62 00:02:40,832 --> 00:02:41,958 LUKE: Yes! 63 00:02:42,501 --> 00:02:43,960 NOAH: There's sweet Max. 64 00:02:44,211 --> 00:02:45,587 Can you guys be a little quiet? 65 00:02:45,671 --> 00:02:48,256 NOAH: Super smart, but he can be a little uptight. 66 00:02:48,799 --> 00:02:51,176 He claims he doesn't come on this trip to hook up, 67 00:02:51,259 --> 00:02:53,679 but he puts out in the Meat Rack just like the rest of us. 68 00:02:53,762 --> 00:02:55,180 It's really coming together. 69 00:02:55,263 --> 00:02:57,391 NOAH: And then there's Howie. 70 00:02:57,599 --> 00:02:59,726 The best of us on almost every level. 71 00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:01,395 He deserted me a few years ago 72 00:03:01,478 --> 00:03:03,730 for some cush start-up job in San Francisco, 73 00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:06,733 but he still makes it back every year for this trip. 74 00:03:06,817 --> 00:03:09,152 Our bond goes a little deeper than everyone else's 75 00:03:09,236 --> 00:03:13,365 for complex, spiritual reasons. And, well... 76 00:03:13,949 --> 00:03:16,576 MAN: Jackie Chan, hey. Can I get another refill here, bud? 77 00:03:17,744 --> 00:03:19,871 NOAH: All the obvious ones, too. 78 00:03:23,792 --> 00:03:25,877 Yeah, well, looks like it's that time. 79 00:03:27,170 --> 00:03:28,714 A lot of people on Twitter think 80 00:03:28,797 --> 00:03:30,507 body positivity has actually gone too far. 81 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:31,591 Uh-huh. 82 00:03:31,675 --> 00:03:34,428 Why would you conform to this community's toxic body standards? 83 00:03:34,511 --> 00:03:36,722 Whatever. I'm still invisible to most of these people. 84 00:03:36,805 --> 00:03:40,058 -What does that make me? -No fats, no fems, no Asians. 85 00:03:40,142 --> 00:03:42,060 Noah, you still two out of the three. 86 00:03:42,144 --> 00:03:44,354 NOAH: Bitchy, yes, but not wrong. 87 00:03:44,438 --> 00:03:48,024 In our community, money isn't the only form of currency. 88 00:03:48,108 --> 00:03:51,027 Race, masculinity, abs, 89 00:03:51,111 --> 00:03:53,697 just few of the metrics we use to separate ourselves 90 00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:55,532 into upper and lower classes. 91 00:03:55,615 --> 00:03:58,076 Of course, I don't care about all that shit, but, 92 00:03:58,744 --> 00:04:01,288 what can I say? I'm a class traitor. 93 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:04,416 And this why straight people hate us. 94 00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:09,463 I mean, also, heteronormativity, Judeo-Christian pathology, anal. 95 00:04:10,046 --> 00:04:11,590 Whatever. Who cares what they think? 96 00:04:11,673 --> 00:04:13,675 We're not gonna see one for a fucking week. 97 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,553 -(KEEGAN AND HOWIE GASP) -Whoo! 98 00:04:16,636 --> 00:04:18,138 (GASPS) Ah! 99 00:04:18,221 --> 00:04:19,347 -Yes! -(ALL CHEERING) 100 00:04:19,431 --> 00:04:22,058 (INDIE POP MUSIC PLAYING) 101 00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:48,251 (ALL CHEERING) 102 00:05:04,392 --> 00:05:06,812 I forgot how far away the house is. 103 00:05:07,312 --> 00:05:08,355 -Hey. -Hi, guys. 104 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,439 Hey. 105 00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:12,818 -Stop being weird. -Okay, it's a nice human gesture. 106 00:05:15,278 --> 00:05:17,531 Hey. How are you guys? 107 00:05:17,864 --> 00:05:19,449 -(MAN 1 LAUGHS) -MAN 2: No, thanks. 108 00:05:21,284 --> 00:05:22,869 This place is so toxic. 109 00:05:22,953 --> 00:05:25,205 Why? Because of those guys? Fuck them. 110 00:05:25,288 --> 00:05:28,291 As far as I'm concerned, we are the hottest people here. 111 00:05:28,375 --> 00:05:31,628 Luke's right. Why would you say hello to someone you don't wanna fuck? 112 00:05:31,711 --> 00:05:34,422 NOAH: Because fucking isn't the only reason some people come here. 113 00:05:34,506 --> 00:05:36,842 No, that is the only reason that you come here. 114 00:05:36,925 --> 00:05:39,594 No, I also come here to read. I contain multitudes. 115 00:05:39,678 --> 00:05:42,222 She thinks that makes her less of a whore than the rest of us. 116 00:05:42,305 --> 00:05:44,099 No, I just know who I am, that's empowering. 117 00:05:44,182 --> 00:05:45,851 Besides, anybody can fuck on Fire Island. 118 00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:46,977 -(HOWIE SCOFFS) -Okay, 119 00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:48,728 the only reason you don't is because... 120 00:05:48,812 --> 00:05:51,273 I'm sorry, that was an involuntary response. 121 00:05:51,356 --> 00:05:52,607 I'm fine. Seriously. 122 00:05:54,526 --> 00:05:57,279 MAX: It's actually a logistical nightmare to fuck on this island. 123 00:05:57,362 --> 00:06:00,407 At least, if you wanna do it indoors, you know, no privacy anywhere. 124 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,450 That's what the outdoors are for, girl. 125 00:06:02,534 --> 00:06:03,827 Ew, have you heard of ticks? 126 00:06:03,910 --> 00:06:06,121 Okay, how about their best friend? Lyme disease. 127 00:06:06,204 --> 00:06:07,205 -No. -MAX: I'm serious. 128 00:06:07,289 --> 00:06:10,750 Bitch! I knew I smelled some bottoms. 129 00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:12,460 (ALL LAUGH) 130 00:06:12,586 --> 00:06:13,920 -You bitch. -Little bitch! 131 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,464 NOAH: And that is Erin. 132 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,175 The last member of our makeshift little family. 133 00:06:19,676 --> 00:06:24,055 Career brunch server, age unknown, lesbian scam queen. 134 00:06:24,139 --> 00:06:25,640 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 135 00:06:25,724 --> 00:06:29,185 Five years ago, she made a mini fortune after she ate a piece of glass 136 00:06:29,269 --> 00:06:32,480 at a major Italian chain restaurant and won a huge settlement. 137 00:06:34,274 --> 00:06:37,235 She even got a little tattoo above her vagina that says, 138 00:06:37,319 --> 00:06:39,029 "All-you-can-eat salad." 139 00:06:39,112 --> 00:06:40,864 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 140 00:06:42,115 --> 00:06:44,159 -LUKE: Come on, Keegan, let's go, baby. -Okay! 141 00:06:44,242 --> 00:06:47,913 NOAH: First thing she did with the money was buy a little house on the island. 142 00:06:47,996 --> 00:06:50,123 She invites us to stay with her every year. 143 00:06:50,206 --> 00:06:52,000 ERIN: Welcome home, little chickadees. 144 00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:53,710 LUKE: Cover it with your whole body. 145 00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:54,794 KEEGAN: This is ours. 146 00:06:54,878 --> 00:06:57,005 LUKE: Baby, use your mass. Plan this shit, girl. 147 00:06:57,088 --> 00:06:58,632 NOAH: In exchange, we let her believe 148 00:06:58,715 --> 00:07:01,301 she's the closest thing any of us have to a mother. 149 00:07:02,594 --> 00:07:04,930 (SIGHS) It feels like it gets smaller every year. 150 00:07:05,013 --> 00:07:07,223 Are you kidding me? It's perfect. 151 00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:09,309 For me at least, it's sort of true. 152 00:07:09,392 --> 00:07:10,435 Welcome home. 153 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:15,941 (BOTTLE POPS) 154 00:07:16,107 --> 00:07:17,108 (NOAH CHUCKLES) 155 00:07:23,073 --> 00:07:24,991 Coming here was a mistake. 156 00:07:25,075 --> 00:07:27,410 I can't believe you talked me into this again. 157 00:07:27,494 --> 00:07:31,081 What the fuck are you talking about? I only see you on FaceTime now. 158 00:07:31,164 --> 00:07:33,917 No, I'm serious. We used to come here to be... 159 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,628 -Gay and stupid. -(BOTH CHUCKLE) 160 00:07:36,711 --> 00:07:38,421 And now... 161 00:07:38,505 --> 00:07:41,091 I come here, I just feel terminally alone. 162 00:07:41,174 --> 00:07:43,802 Alone? Look around. We're literally swimming in dick. 163 00:07:43,885 --> 00:07:48,390 No, I don't mean like that. I mean, like, existentially lonely. 164 00:07:48,473 --> 00:07:51,017 I mean, here, in S. F., I've never had a boyfriend. 165 00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:52,227 (SCOFFS) Oh, God. 166 00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:54,688 Monogamy industrial complex rears its ugly head. 167 00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:57,440 I've never had a boyfriend either and I'm fuckin' awesome. 168 00:07:57,524 --> 00:07:59,901 -Yeah, well, I'm not you. -You could be. 169 00:07:59,985 --> 00:08:01,903 You just have to get laid once in a while. 170 00:08:01,987 --> 00:08:04,406 -Oh, fuck off. -No, I'm serious. I mean, why not? 171 00:08:04,489 --> 00:08:05,949 You're cute, you're funny, 172 00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:09,077 you're consistently the least repellent to men out of all of us. 173 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,745 I mean, let me be your wingman. 174 00:08:10,829 --> 00:08:14,374 Everybody should fuck on Fire Island at least once. It's like our birthright. 175 00:08:14,457 --> 00:08:16,501 Why is this so important to you? 176 00:08:16,584 --> 00:08:18,878 -Oh, my God, you've never had sex. -Noah. 177 00:08:20,672 --> 00:08:21,798 Fine. 178 00:08:23,550 --> 00:08:25,051 Do you remember when we met? 179 00:08:25,844 --> 00:08:28,972 I was, like, a completely different person back then. 180 00:08:29,055 --> 00:08:32,475 Felt invisible all the time, I was miserable. 181 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:36,813 And then we came out here. And, I don't know, something clicked. 182 00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:41,067 You know, I realized how much power I was giving away to other people 183 00:08:41,151 --> 00:08:44,612 to make me feel a certain way and I took it all back. 184 00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:50,160 Started to do some self-improvement, and my whole life changed. 185 00:08:51,494 --> 00:08:53,163 Babe, you don't need a boyfriend. 186 00:08:53,246 --> 00:08:55,665 You need to learn how to protect yourself more, 187 00:08:55,749 --> 00:08:58,126 'cause this romance bullshit is making you vulnerable, 188 00:08:58,209 --> 00:08:59,461 you're like an open wound. 189 00:08:59,544 --> 00:09:01,463 Yeah, but I want the romance bullshit. 190 00:09:01,546 --> 00:09:05,425 I like the rom-com stuff, like, kissing in the rain 191 00:09:05,508 --> 00:09:09,721 and standing outside my window with a boombox 192 00:09:09,804 --> 00:09:13,391 or confessing things in a gazebo. What's wrong with that? 193 00:09:13,475 --> 00:09:16,561 Nothing, it's just shit like that doesn't happen in real life. 194 00:09:16,895 --> 00:09:20,023 The only real thing is you and me. 195 00:09:20,857 --> 00:09:21,900 Fuck the rest. 196 00:09:25,987 --> 00:09:31,076 Fine. If you're so invested in this, I will try and get laid. 197 00:09:31,159 --> 00:09:32,202 Yes! 198 00:09:32,285 --> 00:09:34,871 But I have to be attracted to him. 199 00:09:34,954 --> 00:09:37,499 -He has to be nice to me. -Okay. 200 00:09:37,582 --> 00:09:39,918 And no weird fetishes. I'm not letting some guy 201 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:42,754 stick his foot in my ass just so I can say I got some. 202 00:09:42,837 --> 00:09:46,174 Okay, a little kink-shamey, but point taken. (CHUCKLES) 203 00:09:46,257 --> 00:09:47,383 No settling. 204 00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:51,471 You are gonna have missionary, 205 00:09:51,554 --> 00:09:54,390 vanilla sex with the man of... 206 00:09:54,474 --> 00:09:57,060 -Men of your dreams. -Oh. 207 00:09:57,143 --> 00:10:01,064 And, literally, I'm not even gonna look at another guy till you get laid, okay? 208 00:10:01,147 --> 00:10:04,526 I'm serious. My only mission this week is to make sure you're happy, 209 00:10:04,609 --> 00:10:07,362 that you know I know everything and that I'm always right. 210 00:10:07,445 --> 00:10:09,489 Yeah, that definitely won't come back to fuck me. 211 00:10:09,572 --> 00:10:10,949 -Cheers. -Cheers. 212 00:10:11,783 --> 00:10:13,451 When is she gonna do what she said? 213 00:10:13,535 --> 00:10:15,954 Put in a hot tub. They know now that they kill STIs. 214 00:10:16,037 --> 00:10:17,664 That's just a known fact in science. 215 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,916 KEEGAN: Yeah, you're putting our health at risk. 216 00:10:19,999 --> 00:10:21,835 Are you guys complaining right now? 217 00:10:21,918 --> 00:10:24,420 We're literally in paradise. Let's go talk to cute boys. 218 00:10:24,504 --> 00:10:26,464 (EXCLAIMS) I think I just saw a tick in my room. 219 00:10:26,548 --> 00:10:27,590 (ALL GASP) 220 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,929 -HOWIE: No! -LUKE: That's dumb. 221 00:10:38,351 --> 00:10:41,521 Okay. You know what? This is a good thing. 222 00:10:41,604 --> 00:10:45,942 This is, um... This is a positive development for me. 223 00:10:46,025 --> 00:10:47,652 Don't try and spin this. 224 00:10:47,735 --> 00:10:50,321 It'll give you the opportunity to unplug from social media. 225 00:10:50,405 --> 00:10:52,073 -What will I look at when I shit? -(GAGS) 226 00:10:52,157 --> 00:10:53,241 Did you get AppleCare? 227 00:10:53,324 --> 00:10:56,202 Dad says if you don't get AppleCare, you only have yourself to blame. 228 00:10:56,286 --> 00:10:59,455 What about me having an iPhone 6 Plus in 2022 229 00:10:59,539 --> 00:11:01,457 makes you think I can afford AppleCare? 230 00:11:01,583 --> 00:11:03,710 Girl, just get Mommy Erin to buy you a new one. 231 00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,086 Don't be gross. 232 00:11:05,837 --> 00:11:09,132 Unless you can. I mean, if you... Never mind. 233 00:11:09,215 --> 00:11:11,885 -I'm just kidding. That was just a joke. -Oh, no. 234 00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:14,012 It's not about the phone. (SNIFFLES) 235 00:11:14,095 --> 00:11:15,138 It's everything. 236 00:11:16,222 --> 00:11:18,183 Girls, I have some terrible news. 237 00:11:19,058 --> 00:11:20,727 (CLICKS TONGUE) We're broke. 238 00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,937 What? How is that possible? 239 00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:25,315 You know me, I've never been good with money. 240 00:11:25,398 --> 00:11:27,275 I was an early investor in Quibi. 241 00:11:27,358 --> 00:11:29,903 This house is the only good investment I ever made. 242 00:11:29,986 --> 00:11:32,197 Which is why I have to sell it. 243 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,449 -You're not. -HOWIE: Sell the house? 244 00:11:34,532 --> 00:11:36,492 -It's my home. -MAX: This doesn't make sense. 245 00:11:36,576 --> 00:11:38,786 -Girl, I'm sorry. -Oh, my God. 246 00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:41,122 -This is our last summer. -Just stop. 247 00:11:41,206 --> 00:11:44,083 Don't be ridiculous. The island's always gonna be here. 248 00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:46,878 -Except the whole climate change thing. -Okay. 249 00:11:46,961 --> 00:11:48,296 You don't need me. 250 00:11:48,379 --> 00:11:49,505 Yeah, I do. 251 00:11:50,381 --> 00:11:52,759 I mean, personally, I need all of you... 252 00:11:53,718 --> 00:11:56,262 It wouldn't be the same if we didn't come together. 253 00:11:57,555 --> 00:11:59,891 -You're gonna make me cry. -Don't cry. 254 00:12:01,893 --> 00:12:04,520 Okay, enough. Enough of this. It's all right. 255 00:12:04,604 --> 00:12:06,898 We still have this week. 256 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:12,070 So, let's pull ourselves together and get ready for tea. 257 00:12:12,153 --> 00:12:13,613 -LUKE: Let's go get to tea. -Okay. 258 00:12:13,696 --> 00:12:15,865 -MAX: You're right. -KEEGAN: We're doing tea. 259 00:12:15,949 --> 00:12:16,950 LUKE: One week. 260 00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:19,285 Can I trade a Crest Whitestrip for a PrEP pill? 261 00:12:19,369 --> 00:12:21,913 -HOWIE: I got you. -LUKE: I need to change the mood. 262 00:12:31,422 --> 00:12:33,508 NOAH: Guess I better make this week count, huh? 263 00:12:36,511 --> 00:12:39,389 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 264 00:12:45,019 --> 00:12:46,396 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 265 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:54,070 NOAH: Back when it was all but illegal for us to exist, the "Tea Dance," 266 00:12:54,153 --> 00:12:56,406 as it was called back then, was a discreet way for us 267 00:12:56,489 --> 00:12:58,950 to gather and dance without getting arrested. 268 00:13:00,702 --> 00:13:03,746 Tea has evolved a lot since those early days. 269 00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:06,708 But when it comes to sex, 270 00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:10,169 some things never change. 271 00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:15,216 Are you guys seriously on Grindr right now? 272 00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,468 -Look where we are. -Okay, Miss Bitch. 273 00:13:17,593 --> 00:13:19,721 If you had a phone, you'd be Grind-ing as well. 274 00:13:19,804 --> 00:13:22,682 This isn't what the Gay Liberation Front envisioned for us. 275 00:13:22,765 --> 00:13:24,559 Other than the Charli XCX remix, 276 00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,602 this is exactly what they envisioned for us. 277 00:13:26,686 --> 00:13:29,147 Seriously, what is the point of Gay Liberation 278 00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:33,234 if we can't feel a little liberated? 279 00:13:33,318 --> 00:13:34,569 NOAH: She's spinning! 280 00:13:34,652 --> 00:13:35,820 (ALL CHEERING) 281 00:13:35,903 --> 00:13:37,697 The season has begun! 282 00:13:38,239 --> 00:13:39,240 Twirl! 283 00:13:39,324 --> 00:13:40,491 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 284 00:13:40,575 --> 00:13:42,118 HOWIE: Spinning! 285 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:45,747 NOAH: Don't look now, 286 00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:48,833 but I think this guy over here is a little obsessed with you. 287 00:13:48,916 --> 00:13:50,126 What? Him? 288 00:13:51,586 --> 00:13:54,047 -ERIN: Who you looking at? -Are we checking someone out? 289 00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:56,758 KEEGAN: Oh, my God. Back it up, I'll take all three. 290 00:13:56,841 --> 00:13:59,844 Yeah, they can definitely tell we're looking at them now. 291 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,681 (GASPS) Did he just wave? 292 00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:05,099 Yeah. And smiled. 293 00:14:05,183 --> 00:14:07,310 That wouldn't be settling, right? Be right back. 294 00:14:07,393 --> 00:14:09,979 -What are you doing? -Getting us a couple of drinks. 295 00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:12,315 Girl, they are hot. 296 00:14:12,398 --> 00:14:14,067 NOAH: I don't wanna push too hard, 297 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:17,028 but the sooner Howie lets go of his insecurities and gets laid, 298 00:14:17,111 --> 00:14:18,488 the sooner I can get laid. 299 00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:23,534 -Hey. -Howdy. 300 00:14:23,618 --> 00:14:25,203 Oh, God. Hi. 301 00:14:25,286 --> 00:14:27,914 Couldn't help notice you lookin' at me earlier. 302 00:14:28,456 --> 00:14:31,834 -(CHUCKLES) No. I wasn't looking at you. -I'm Moses. Are you Korean? 303 00:14:31,918 --> 00:14:34,087 You look Korean. I have a sense. 304 00:14:34,879 --> 00:14:36,381 Let me get your drink. 305 00:14:36,464 --> 00:14:39,884 No. My boyfriend here, he's gonna... He's gonna grab it for us. 306 00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:42,595 I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand what's going on. 307 00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:43,721 Honey. 308 00:14:43,805 --> 00:14:46,599 Are you Filipino? You look Filipino. 309 00:14:48,059 --> 00:14:49,102 I'm gonna go. 310 00:14:51,396 --> 00:14:53,064 Two Shirley Temples, please. 311 00:14:53,981 --> 00:14:56,401 Okay, somebody else has to go and get the drinks. 312 00:14:56,484 --> 00:14:59,195 -What are we looking at? -Erin found that guy's Instagram. 313 00:14:59,278 --> 00:15:00,696 Okay, that's frightening. 314 00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:01,989 I hope he's cool though, 315 00:15:02,073 --> 00:15:04,742 'cause his friend turned out to be kind of a dud! 316 00:15:04,826 --> 00:15:06,869 Private Instagram? What's he hiding? 317 00:15:06,953 --> 00:15:10,248 We know his name is Charlie, and he's got a dog emoji 318 00:15:10,331 --> 00:15:13,626 and a plant emoji and a stethoscope emoji. What a riddle. 319 00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:16,337 We'll solve that later 'cause they're leaving. 320 00:15:16,421 --> 00:15:17,880 -What are you doing? -Trust me. 321 00:15:17,964 --> 00:15:19,215 Said that he was cute. 322 00:15:20,091 --> 00:15:22,176 HOWIE: Noah, it's fine. (GRUNTS) 323 00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:24,220 -ERIN: Oh, my God. -LUKE: She fell. 324 00:15:24,303 --> 00:15:26,639 What is your fucking problem? 325 00:15:26,722 --> 00:15:28,349 Whoa. Are you all right? 326 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,310 It's fine. It happens... 327 00:15:31,394 --> 00:15:32,854 All the time. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 328 00:15:33,271 --> 00:15:34,605 Does it really? 329 00:15:34,689 --> 00:15:36,566 You must have very strong bones. 330 00:15:37,525 --> 00:15:39,235 Just my knees, I guess. 331 00:15:40,695 --> 00:15:41,946 Oh, God. 332 00:15:42,029 --> 00:15:44,657 Oh, God, that does not sound right. (CHUCKLES) Sorry. 333 00:15:44,824 --> 00:15:49,120 Um, were you guys going? Because we were gonna catch the sunset. 334 00:15:49,203 --> 00:15:50,872 So weird. We were, too. 335 00:15:50,955 --> 00:15:53,458 Oh, great. I'm Charlie, by the way. 336 00:15:53,541 --> 00:15:54,792 -We know. -What? 337 00:15:54,876 --> 00:15:56,502 NOAH: Never mind. Just keep walking. 338 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,132 Uh, do you want some whiskey? It would help with your knees. 339 00:16:01,215 --> 00:16:03,676 -You can trust me. I'm a doctor. -(YELLS) 340 00:16:12,602 --> 00:16:14,645 CHARLIE: ...look like they're strawberries. 341 00:16:14,729 --> 00:16:16,355 -You know? -That's a classic. 342 00:16:16,439 --> 00:16:17,440 What are those called? 343 00:16:17,523 --> 00:16:18,983 -Strawberries. -They are good. 344 00:16:19,066 --> 00:16:21,444 NOAH: Look at those two. Absolutely perfect. 345 00:16:22,945 --> 00:16:24,780 Except for one small thing. 346 00:16:24,864 --> 00:16:26,699 Hey, sorry. What do you do again? 347 00:16:28,576 --> 00:16:30,870 NOAH: The friends. That's problem number one. 348 00:16:30,953 --> 00:16:33,956 I do graphic design for this start-up. 349 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,627 NOAH: Cooper, who told us immediately that he's a brand manager. 350 00:16:37,710 --> 00:16:38,753 Whatever that is. 351 00:16:38,836 --> 00:16:42,715 And I'm a big, powerful lawyer like Christine Baranski in The Good Wife. 352 00:16:43,508 --> 00:16:44,550 Seriously? 353 00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:46,928 No. Christine is the only lawyer I trust. 354 00:16:47,011 --> 00:16:48,638 The rest of them are all pretty evil. 355 00:16:48,971 --> 00:16:51,807 Oh. Uh, actually, Will is a lawyer. 356 00:16:52,808 --> 00:16:54,936 NOAH: Problem number two. Will. 357 00:16:55,019 --> 00:16:59,273 He's from L. A., super rich, and thinks he's way better than all of us. 358 00:16:59,357 --> 00:17:00,858 Uh, my bad. Sorry. 359 00:17:01,609 --> 00:17:04,278 I'm just a nurse, you know? 360 00:17:04,362 --> 00:17:06,906 Essential services. Saving lives. 361 00:17:06,989 --> 00:17:10,743 -Uh, what concentration? Trauma... -Oh, no. Free clinic for gay sluts. 362 00:17:10,826 --> 00:17:12,620 I mostly just weigh people 363 00:17:12,703 --> 00:17:15,248 and steal doxycycline for prophylactic purposes. 364 00:17:15,331 --> 00:17:18,584 -Oh, my God, it's starting. Look alive. -Okay. 365 00:17:18,668 --> 00:17:22,755 ALL: Ten... Nine... Eight... 366 00:17:22,838 --> 00:17:26,884 Seven... Six... Five... 367 00:17:26,968 --> 00:17:28,594 -Five... -Five... 368 00:17:28,678 --> 00:17:30,179 LUKE: Five... 369 00:17:30,263 --> 00:17:32,640 -Four... -Four, point five... 370 00:17:32,723 --> 00:17:35,351 ALL: Three... 371 00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:37,979 -Two... -(ERIN SQUEALS) 372 00:17:38,062 --> 00:17:40,606 One... 373 00:17:41,941 --> 00:17:44,735 -Point nine... -Point nine... 374 00:17:44,819 --> 00:17:47,405 -Point eight... -Point seven... 375 00:17:47,488 --> 00:17:49,407 -Point six... -Point five... 376 00:17:49,490 --> 00:17:51,075 -Point four... -Point three... 377 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,535 Point two... 378 00:17:52,618 --> 00:17:54,620 (ALL CHEERING) 379 00:17:55,538 --> 00:17:57,540 MAX: That was better than last time. 380 00:17:57,623 --> 00:18:00,793 -I'm proud of you, girl. You set. -Congratulations, everyone. 381 00:18:01,002 --> 00:18:02,003 (CHUCKLES) 382 00:18:02,128 --> 00:18:05,131 -We love her. Love that girl. -I'll see you tomorrow, girl. 383 00:18:05,339 --> 00:18:07,383 Um, it's just a stupid bit we like to do. 384 00:18:07,466 --> 00:18:09,635 (CHUCKLES) It's funny. You're funny. 385 00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:17,727 Well, it was nice meeting you, and I'll see you around the island. 386 00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,020 Yeah, totally. 387 00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:24,358 What the fuck are you doing? Wanna get fucked or not? 388 00:18:24,442 --> 00:18:25,443 I mean, not really. 389 00:18:25,526 --> 00:18:28,613 Plus, he's, like, a super-hot doctor. And I'm... 390 00:18:28,696 --> 00:18:32,033 Do not finish that sentence. You are a prize to be won, okay? 391 00:18:32,116 --> 00:18:33,909 So get over there, seal the deal. 392 00:18:33,993 --> 00:18:35,369 -(BOTH GRUNT) -Sorry. 393 00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:36,996 Wow. Um... 394 00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:41,167 Hey, would you boys like to come to sort of like an after-party at ours? 395 00:18:41,459 --> 00:18:42,668 It's very chill, just like 396 00:18:42,752 --> 00:18:44,920 -wine and a hot tub. -HOWIE: Oh. 397 00:18:45,004 --> 00:18:47,590 We actually would love to, but we gotta check with our house, 398 00:18:47,673 --> 00:18:50,426 'cause I think we have other plans, but we'd love to fit you in. 399 00:18:50,509 --> 00:18:53,846 Okay, so there's a soft plan to go to their house for a hot tub thing. 400 00:18:53,929 --> 00:18:56,682 -LUKE: Yes. A hot tub! -KEEGAN: What? Hot tub? 401 00:18:56,766 --> 00:18:59,518 -BOTH: Hot tub. Hot tub. Hot... -HOWIE: Everybody shut up! 402 00:18:59,602 --> 00:19:00,895 -KEEGAN: Shh, stop. -HOWIE: Yes. 403 00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:02,563 -MAX: Absolutely. -KEEGAN: Hell yeah. 404 00:19:02,647 --> 00:19:04,357 -NOAH: Be chill about it. -HOWIE: Okay. 405 00:19:05,107 --> 00:19:06,651 Yeah, that should work for us. 406 00:19:07,443 --> 00:19:10,029 I really don't think we needed to bring anything. 407 00:19:10,112 --> 00:19:12,031 And if you did wanna bring something, 408 00:19:12,114 --> 00:19:14,075 a full bottle of wine would've been the play. 409 00:19:14,158 --> 00:19:16,369 Are you crazy? I just told you we're broke. 410 00:19:16,452 --> 00:19:19,413 Wait. Do they have a house on the beach? 411 00:19:19,497 --> 00:19:22,249 Well, we can't go over there. We are literal trash. 412 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,919 -I'm sure their house is like ours... -We're here. 413 00:19:25,002 --> 00:19:27,421 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) 414 00:19:27,588 --> 00:19:29,799 Yeah, we definitely can't bring that in here. 415 00:19:29,882 --> 00:19:32,134 -(BOTTLE BREAKS) -(MAN SCREAMS) Oh, my God. 416 00:19:32,218 --> 00:19:35,930 NOAH: A lot of people think you have to be successful, white and rich 417 00:19:36,013 --> 00:19:39,141 with seven percent body fat to vacation on Fire Island. 418 00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:41,852 Those people are all at this party. 419 00:19:41,936 --> 00:19:44,689 Excuse me. Can we help you? 420 00:19:44,855 --> 00:19:47,400 NOAH: That's code. He does not wanna help us. 421 00:19:47,483 --> 00:19:50,528 Yeah. Hi. Is Charlie here? 422 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,197 I think you may have the wrong house. 423 00:19:53,572 --> 00:19:54,907 Why would you think that? 424 00:19:56,117 --> 00:19:57,118 COOPER: Oh, my God. 425 00:19:58,077 --> 00:20:00,246 -You all. -You know them? 426 00:20:01,038 --> 00:20:02,039 Of course. 427 00:20:02,123 --> 00:20:04,458 They're the cute little friends we made at tea. 428 00:20:04,542 --> 00:20:08,421 NOAH: And "cute little friends" is code for not a fuckable one in the bunch. 429 00:20:08,504 --> 00:20:10,881 COOPER: Get up here. Don't be rude, Braden. 430 00:20:10,965 --> 00:20:13,467 -Get up here, he says. -Such a bad girl. 431 00:20:14,301 --> 00:20:17,972 LUKE: Hey, you guys smell good. Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce? 432 00:20:18,055 --> 00:20:19,223 (LAUGHS) Good stuff. 433 00:20:19,306 --> 00:20:20,433 We should talk later. 434 00:20:20,516 --> 00:20:23,310 These stairs is nice. Bitch, I feel like we're plus one. 435 00:20:23,394 --> 00:20:25,813 LUKE: What's the address? I wanna order thousands of 'em. 436 00:20:25,896 --> 00:20:26,897 How you doing? 437 00:20:27,398 --> 00:20:29,483 Bitch, you're on snacks. I'm on drinks. 438 00:20:29,567 --> 00:20:30,568 -Go. -Okay. 439 00:20:30,651 --> 00:20:31,902 -A shot, please. -I got this. 440 00:20:31,986 --> 00:20:33,654 -Let me just do it. -I was a bartender. 441 00:20:33,738 --> 00:20:35,698 -You were a bar-back. -LUKE: Semantics. 442 00:20:36,282 --> 00:20:39,076 NOAH: You wanna slow down. It's like night one. Jesus. 443 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,746 Excuse me, Dad. Did you not hear Erin before? 444 00:20:41,829 --> 00:20:44,457 -We have to make the most of this night. -Fair point. 445 00:20:44,915 --> 00:20:48,836 Oh, my God. Bitch. Look at all of this cheese. 446 00:20:48,919 --> 00:20:50,921 Bring that here. I can use that as a garnish. 447 00:20:51,005 --> 00:20:53,048 Guess you guys aren't bottoming tonight. 448 00:20:53,132 --> 00:20:56,844 LUKE: Actually, I'm one of the cleanest ever, I've been told, bottom-wise. 449 00:20:58,220 --> 00:20:59,638 Can you cut limes right now? 450 00:20:59,722 --> 00:21:01,724 -KEEGAN: Cut limes? -We can handle knives, right? 451 00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:03,058 KEEGAN: Yeah, why not? 452 00:21:03,142 --> 00:21:05,186 HOWIE: He starts, Gays in Space. 453 00:21:05,269 --> 00:21:08,147 And Jason Bateman is surprisingly a good gay person. 454 00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:09,482 In like a very happy way. 455 00:21:09,565 --> 00:21:10,566 (LAUGHS) 456 00:21:10,649 --> 00:21:12,777 -You have to see it. It's like... -Okay. 457 00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:15,988 -...really important. -NOAH: Hey, guys. What'd I miss? 458 00:21:16,071 --> 00:21:19,784 I was just explaining this SNL sketch. He's never seen Gays in Space. 459 00:21:19,867 --> 00:21:23,370 Honestly, the way you explained it, I don't even wanna watch the sketch now. 460 00:21:23,454 --> 00:21:25,831 -You should probably watch the sketch. -I refuse to. 461 00:21:25,915 --> 00:21:27,333 -Why are you being... -Adamantly. 462 00:21:27,416 --> 00:21:30,920 Charlie. Have you seen Will? I can't find him. He's hiding. 463 00:21:32,046 --> 00:21:33,130 Oh. Um... 464 00:21:33,798 --> 00:21:37,551 No, I haven't. But, uh... If you will excuse me, I'll be right back. 465 00:21:40,221 --> 00:21:43,474 Cooper, have you heard of Gays in Space? 466 00:21:43,557 --> 00:21:45,559 -(CHUCKLING) -COOPER: Is that like Spaceballs? 467 00:21:48,562 --> 00:21:51,774 Girl, please tell me you have not spent the entire conversation 468 00:21:51,857 --> 00:21:53,734 walking him through old SNL sketches. 469 00:21:53,818 --> 00:21:57,363 Shut up. It's a classic. But, no, it's been nice. 470 00:21:58,072 --> 00:22:00,783 He's a pediatrician, isn't that so adorable? 471 00:22:00,866 --> 00:22:04,161 Sure. But is he a top or bottom, does he eat ass, is he on PrEP? 472 00:22:04,245 --> 00:22:06,163 Have you gained no vital information? 473 00:22:06,247 --> 00:22:10,793 It's not like that. I think he just likes talking to me. 474 00:22:10,876 --> 00:22:12,795 Then what the fuck are we doing here? 475 00:22:12,878 --> 00:22:15,506 These people are not our people. I was talking to one of them. 476 00:22:15,589 --> 00:22:18,050 He thinks Lindsey Graham was in The Parent Trap. 477 00:22:18,133 --> 00:22:19,176 Yikes. 478 00:22:19,718 --> 00:22:20,719 I gotta pee. 479 00:22:26,016 --> 00:22:29,645 Lindsey Graham in The Parent Trap. I would watch that. 480 00:22:37,194 --> 00:22:39,947 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 481 00:22:44,743 --> 00:22:45,744 Hmm. 482 00:22:46,662 --> 00:22:48,831 Let's see what Charlie's working with. 483 00:22:48,914 --> 00:22:52,001 CHARLIE: He hasn't asked me for drugs. It just feels special. 484 00:22:52,084 --> 00:22:54,753 And he is nothing like Rhys, I will say that for him. 485 00:22:54,837 --> 00:22:57,715 WILL: Yeah, well, you just met him, so it's kind of hard to know. 486 00:22:57,798 --> 00:23:00,676 CHARLIE: He hasn't asked me what I'm into one time. 487 00:23:00,759 --> 00:23:02,303 It's so nice. 488 00:23:02,386 --> 00:23:05,890 WILL: Okay. I'm just saying you've been single for what? A month? 489 00:23:05,973 --> 00:23:09,393 CHARLIE: Calm down. I think that he's cute and funny. 490 00:23:09,476 --> 00:23:10,936 -WILL: Great. -That's all I said. 491 00:23:11,020 --> 00:23:14,940 NOAH: Translation. He wants to dick my friend down. 492 00:23:15,024 --> 00:23:17,443 -WILL: What about his friends? -CHARLIE: They're nice. 493 00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:19,862 WILL: They're clearly using us for free liquor. 494 00:23:19,945 --> 00:23:21,906 Have you seen the way they're drinking? 495 00:23:21,989 --> 00:23:25,743 CHARLIE: (CHUCKLES) Okay, yeah. They're a little quirky, but, um... 496 00:23:26,535 --> 00:23:28,579 -What about Noah? -WILL: He's fine. 497 00:23:29,038 --> 00:23:31,832 He's not hot enough to be that annoying, though. 498 00:23:31,916 --> 00:23:34,960 CHARLIE: I'm so glad I invited you. You're always so positive. 499 00:23:35,044 --> 00:23:36,337 WILL: Why am I here, Charlie? 500 00:23:36,420 --> 00:23:39,173 CHARLIE: Because Cooper's just a family friend, 501 00:23:39,256 --> 00:23:41,383 and I wanted a real friend with me. 502 00:23:41,675 --> 00:23:42,676 Is that so bad? 503 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,595 WILL: I want you to be careful, that's all. 504 00:23:44,678 --> 00:23:47,806 You're a good person, and people take advantage of that all the time. 505 00:23:47,890 --> 00:23:49,850 Especially the kind of people that come here. 506 00:23:49,934 --> 00:23:51,185 CHARLIE: What does that mean? 507 00:23:51,268 --> 00:23:55,731 WILL: This place is a playground for superficial, vapid morons. 508 00:23:56,732 --> 00:23:59,944 Will, promise me you'll try to have a good time. 509 00:24:02,279 --> 00:24:03,405 Okay. 510 00:24:12,039 --> 00:24:15,334 -Everything has buckles on it now. -Shade is good on him. It's his color. 511 00:24:15,417 --> 00:24:17,503 -We were just talking about you. -Oh, I know. 512 00:24:18,045 --> 00:24:21,465 Yeah, they were wondering where you got your Speedo from. 513 00:24:21,548 --> 00:24:24,051 It's so cute. Did you get it on Amazon? 514 00:24:24,134 --> 00:24:27,972 No, it's an heirloom. It's been in my family for generations. 515 00:24:28,055 --> 00:24:30,349 -What? -Mine's this little boutique brand. 516 00:24:30,432 --> 00:24:33,268 -You probably haven't heard of them. -Is it Charlie? 517 00:24:33,352 --> 00:24:36,855 Because it says "Charlie" in big, bold letters on your ass. 518 00:24:36,981 --> 00:24:39,441 -(CHUCKLES) -I'm sorry, am I being annoying? 519 00:24:40,067 --> 00:24:42,945 -Yeah. -(CHUCKLES) We have a problem. 520 00:24:43,028 --> 00:24:45,906 (LUKE AND KEEGAN SQUEALING) 521 00:24:47,574 --> 00:24:49,702 Are they bringing cheese into the hot tub? 522 00:24:49,785 --> 00:24:51,704 So sorry. We'll take them home right now. 523 00:24:51,787 --> 00:24:53,455 No, you stay. We got this, right? 524 00:24:53,539 --> 00:24:57,042 Absolutely. Thank you. We had such a great time. 525 00:24:57,126 --> 00:24:59,378 Wonderful party. (CHUCKLES) 526 00:24:59,670 --> 00:25:02,339 (GASPS) Put that brie down! No, not in the water! 527 00:25:02,423 --> 00:25:04,883 Hey, what is going on with you tonight? 528 00:25:05,801 --> 00:25:08,178 Listen. Do you like that guy? Is he nice to you? 529 00:25:08,262 --> 00:25:11,181 Has he expressed any interest in kinky sex? 530 00:25:11,265 --> 00:25:13,183 Yes. Yes. No. 531 00:25:13,267 --> 00:25:15,602 Then it doesn't matter what's going on with me. 532 00:25:15,686 --> 00:25:16,687 You got this. 533 00:25:18,355 --> 00:25:20,399 But whatever you do, do not let these people think 534 00:25:20,482 --> 00:25:23,068 they are better than us, because at the end... 535 00:25:23,152 --> 00:25:24,278 -(RETCHES) -(ALL GASP) 536 00:25:24,361 --> 00:25:25,654 KEEGAN: That is nasty. 537 00:25:26,488 --> 00:25:27,823 Damn, bitch. 538 00:25:27,906 --> 00:25:29,616 (RETCHING) 539 00:25:30,743 --> 00:25:34,038 ERIN: One of them stole this speaker. I don't know where it goes. 540 00:25:34,705 --> 00:25:36,040 (SOFTLY) Disgusting. 541 00:25:36,123 --> 00:25:37,332 Never mind. 542 00:25:37,416 --> 00:25:39,334 KEEGAN: Girl, get that shit out. 543 00:25:39,418 --> 00:25:40,627 He's on PrEP. 544 00:25:40,711 --> 00:25:42,588 -You okay? -LUKE: Oh, my God, no. 545 00:25:42,671 --> 00:25:44,631 -NOAH: Party's over, babe. -KEEGAN: Come on. 546 00:25:44,715 --> 00:25:46,341 -LUKE: I threw up. -NOAH: I told you. 547 00:25:46,425 --> 00:25:49,344 LUKE: I puked. Yes. Thank you. 548 00:25:49,428 --> 00:25:51,680 KEEGAN: Just think about how skinny you will be, girl. 549 00:25:51,764 --> 00:25:54,141 You guys ever see Gays in Space? 550 00:25:54,224 --> 00:25:56,393 LUKE: They hate me now! 551 00:25:58,145 --> 00:25:59,354 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 552 00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:06,653 NOAH: That's my girl. 553 00:26:11,492 --> 00:26:13,452 Hey, did Howie make it home last night? 554 00:26:13,535 --> 00:26:15,245 No, if you can believe it. 555 00:26:15,329 --> 00:26:16,413 That little whore. 556 00:26:16,497 --> 00:26:20,375 Our little Howie with a doctor. It'll be like having health insurance again. 557 00:26:20,459 --> 00:26:22,711 Okay, chill out. It's just a one-night thing. 558 00:26:22,795 --> 00:26:25,339 Yeah, like, we don't even know if anything happened. 559 00:26:25,422 --> 00:26:27,716 -Maybe they killed him. -NOAH: Okay. Don't be bitter. 560 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,678 -Did anybody bother to text him? -MAX: I did. But it went to green. 561 00:26:31,762 --> 00:26:33,055 Maybe Keegan's right. 562 00:26:33,138 --> 00:26:36,016 Although, you are more likely to get murdered in your own home. 563 00:26:36,100 --> 00:26:38,268 -LUKE: It's why I never host. -Fuck. Uh... 564 00:26:38,977 --> 00:26:40,813 You know what? I bet his phone died. 565 00:26:40,896 --> 00:26:41,897 I'll go get him. 566 00:26:52,074 --> 00:26:54,326 Excuse me. Um, can we help you? 567 00:26:54,409 --> 00:26:56,203 Seriously, this again? 568 00:26:56,286 --> 00:26:57,788 Oh, my God. Howie? 569 00:26:58,330 --> 00:27:00,124 Oh, my God. Hi. 570 00:27:00,833 --> 00:27:03,460 See, Braden, I'm a friend. Is Howie still here? 571 00:27:04,044 --> 00:27:06,171 He is, poor thing. 572 00:27:06,255 --> 00:27:08,632 I think he drank a little too much last night. 573 00:27:08,715 --> 00:27:11,301 Top-shelf stuff hits a little different than well. 574 00:27:11,385 --> 00:27:12,761 Can I go check on him? 575 00:27:16,807 --> 00:27:18,809 Last night, literally last night. 576 00:27:22,354 --> 00:27:23,689 (DOOR OPENS) 577 00:27:25,774 --> 00:27:26,775 Hey. 578 00:27:27,901 --> 00:27:28,986 You're back. 579 00:27:30,237 --> 00:27:33,073 Yep. Just came to check on my friend. 580 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,993 -Uh, your friend's upstairs, I think. -Great. 581 00:27:36,326 --> 00:27:37,327 Uh, wait. 582 00:27:42,875 --> 00:27:45,127 Here. He might need this. 583 00:27:45,210 --> 00:27:46,211 Thanks. 584 00:27:46,837 --> 00:27:50,382 I also just wanted to say sorry about last night. 585 00:27:51,216 --> 00:27:52,843 Braden wasn't super welcoming. So... 586 00:27:52,926 --> 00:27:57,139 -Braden? You're apologizing for Braden? -I don't understand. 587 00:27:57,222 --> 00:27:59,308 Little tip. The tap water here, safe to drink. 588 00:27:59,391 --> 00:28:02,477 You don't have to pollute the oceans or waste your money with bottles. 589 00:28:03,437 --> 00:28:04,438 -(BIN OPENS) -(SCOFFS) 590 00:28:08,734 --> 00:28:09,735 You're right. 591 00:28:10,611 --> 00:28:11,612 (BOTTLE THUDS) 592 00:28:13,697 --> 00:28:14,698 Noted. 593 00:28:15,157 --> 00:28:16,158 (SCOFFS) 594 00:28:16,325 --> 00:28:17,326 Nice. 595 00:28:26,585 --> 00:28:28,170 Look at you, superstar. 596 00:28:28,337 --> 00:28:29,338 (HOWIE GROANS) 597 00:28:29,713 --> 00:28:32,549 I want to die. 598 00:28:32,633 --> 00:28:35,719 What happened? I haven't seen you like this since your Four Loko days. 599 00:28:35,802 --> 00:28:39,681 I think it's the expensive booze. Guess my body is used to well. 600 00:28:39,765 --> 00:28:42,226 Where are people getting this? That's not science. 601 00:28:42,309 --> 00:28:44,811 (GROANS) I'm humiliated. 602 00:28:44,895 --> 00:28:46,355 Oh, no. 603 00:28:46,438 --> 00:28:49,733 I take it you didn't make it happen with the doctor last night? 604 00:28:49,816 --> 00:28:53,153 No. I spent most of the night in here. 605 00:28:53,820 --> 00:28:56,657 But he did stay up with me, though. 606 00:28:56,740 --> 00:28:58,825 Well, that's good. It means he's into you. 607 00:28:58,909 --> 00:29:01,828 But it is day two. I think we should start looking into other options. 608 00:29:01,912 --> 00:29:05,540 Yeah. Totally. I'm sure there's tons of cute guys on this island 609 00:29:05,624 --> 00:29:08,835 who would miss a party to watch me puke. 610 00:29:08,919 --> 00:29:12,256 Well, he is a doctor, so he sort of has to. 611 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:14,883 Right. 612 00:29:16,301 --> 00:29:17,844 He did this thing, though, 613 00:29:19,596 --> 00:29:22,474 where he was rubbing my back while I was sick, 614 00:29:22,557 --> 00:29:25,143 and I don't know how to explain it, 615 00:29:26,770 --> 00:29:29,106 but it felt really intimate. 616 00:29:30,399 --> 00:29:32,025 I don't know. I'm being stupid. 617 00:29:32,109 --> 00:29:34,278 No, you're not being stupid. It's just... 618 00:29:34,361 --> 00:29:36,822 Don't get sucked into one guy's orbit. 619 00:29:36,905 --> 00:29:37,906 Right. 620 00:29:38,907 --> 00:29:40,033 CHARLIE: Knock, knock. 621 00:29:40,117 --> 00:29:42,828 Hi. Sorry. Will told me you were up here. 622 00:29:42,911 --> 00:29:44,788 I just came to check on our patient. 623 00:29:44,871 --> 00:29:47,791 Well, he's pregnant and he's not raising this baby alone. 624 00:29:47,874 --> 00:29:49,084 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 625 00:29:49,251 --> 00:29:50,585 HOWIE: I'm fine. 626 00:29:51,086 --> 00:29:53,588 Thank you again for everything. 627 00:29:53,672 --> 00:29:57,509 Of course. Don't mention it. Honestly, my back feels incredible. 628 00:29:57,592 --> 00:30:01,096 I might just start sleeping on the bathroom floor every night. 629 00:30:01,221 --> 00:30:03,515 (BOTH LAUGHING) 630 00:30:05,350 --> 00:30:07,102 NOAH: This is bleak. 631 00:30:07,185 --> 00:30:09,813 Charlie, do you wanna come and eat dinner at our house tonight? 632 00:30:09,896 --> 00:30:11,315 As, like, a thank you. 633 00:30:12,399 --> 00:30:13,734 You don't have to do that. 634 00:30:13,817 --> 00:30:18,196 NOAH: Oh, please. You took such good care of Howie, let us repay you. 635 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,699 Uh, can I invite the rest of my house? 636 00:30:21,366 --> 00:30:22,826 That could be fun, right? 637 00:30:24,953 --> 00:30:26,038 NOAH: Sure. 638 00:30:26,997 --> 00:30:28,373 The more the merrier. 639 00:30:29,666 --> 00:30:31,835 ERIN: Why did you spring a dinner on me like this? 640 00:30:31,918 --> 00:30:33,378 You love throwing dinner parties. 641 00:30:33,462 --> 00:30:35,756 It makes it really stressful to be friends with you. 642 00:30:35,839 --> 00:30:38,425 For you, I could put out a platter of uncooked hotdogs 643 00:30:38,508 --> 00:30:40,135 and you kids would eat it right up. 644 00:30:40,218 --> 00:30:42,054 -We wouldn't. -We can cancel if you want. 645 00:30:42,137 --> 00:30:43,597 I would rather die. 646 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,640 Go to the Pantry. I'll text you a list. 647 00:30:45,724 --> 00:30:50,020 Find anything dented, label-less or on the brink of expiration. 648 00:30:50,103 --> 00:30:51,938 -Fly, you fools! -All right. 649 00:30:52,564 --> 00:30:54,608 -All right. Enough. Let's go. -Let's go. 650 00:30:54,691 --> 00:30:56,360 -Not enough. -Bitch, where we going? 651 00:30:58,028 --> 00:31:00,989 MAN: And for you to charge $11 for one box of Cheez-Its, 652 00:31:01,073 --> 00:31:04,743 which you fully well know a box of Cheez-Its is on average $7.59 653 00:31:04,826 --> 00:31:06,536 in any store in New York, 654 00:31:06,620 --> 00:31:10,791 and I don't throw this term around lightly, sweetheart, is homophobic. 655 00:31:10,874 --> 00:31:12,709 CLERK: Sir, I don't set the prices. 656 00:31:12,793 --> 00:31:14,169 -I don't care. -CLERK: Sir... 657 00:31:14,252 --> 00:31:15,253 MAN: I'm not done. 658 00:31:15,337 --> 00:31:17,672 I mean, he's not wrong. The prices here are psychotic. 659 00:31:17,756 --> 00:31:19,841 You can thank capitalism for that, by the way. 660 00:31:19,925 --> 00:31:22,677 Calm down, Bernie Sanders. I personally love the Pantry. 661 00:31:22,761 --> 00:31:24,888 Small businesses are the lifeblood of this country. 662 00:31:24,971 --> 00:31:27,099 And also, who says we have to pay? 663 00:31:27,182 --> 00:31:30,018 Yeah, when we lived above that Whole Foods in college, 664 00:31:30,102 --> 00:31:32,145 we got so good at stealing. 665 00:31:33,146 --> 00:31:36,817 You would not believe how many Kind bars I can fit in Keegan's ass. 666 00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:38,235 My girl is like a Costco. 667 00:31:38,318 --> 00:31:40,987 Wait, like, in hole or, like, just between the cheeks? 668 00:31:41,238 --> 00:31:42,322 I don't know. 669 00:31:47,911 --> 00:31:51,581 Um, okay, crazy hot guy checking you out by the produce. 670 00:31:51,665 --> 00:31:53,500 I saw. But we're not doing me right now, 671 00:31:53,583 --> 00:31:55,544 we're doing you and that pink hole of yours. 672 00:31:55,627 --> 00:31:58,630 Ew. Stop. Gross. Forget I said anything. Here, go do something useful 673 00:31:58,713 --> 00:32:01,341 and dent these cans so we can get a discount. 674 00:32:02,050 --> 00:32:04,719 (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN DISTANCE) 675 00:32:11,309 --> 00:32:13,395 -Hey. -It was like this when I found it. 676 00:32:14,688 --> 00:32:15,689 Oh. 677 00:32:15,772 --> 00:32:17,732 Shit. This is humiliating. 678 00:32:19,651 --> 00:32:20,652 It's cool. 679 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:23,321 Oh. 680 00:32:25,365 --> 00:32:26,366 I'm poor, too. 681 00:32:26,992 --> 00:32:28,535 NOAH: I meant what I said to Howie. 682 00:32:28,618 --> 00:32:30,287 I'm committed to my duties as wingman, 683 00:32:30,370 --> 00:32:32,831 which makes meeting someone who looks like this... 684 00:32:32,914 --> 00:32:35,375 -You've read The Ethical Slut. -Yeah, it's formative. 685 00:32:35,459 --> 00:32:36,793 ...extremely inconvenient. 686 00:32:36,877 --> 00:32:39,296 It's part of the reason why I'm so annoying. 687 00:32:39,379 --> 00:32:41,923 That and my parents. They're so messed up. 688 00:32:42,007 --> 00:32:44,551 It's like, what has heteronormativity ever done for them? 689 00:32:44,634 --> 00:32:46,636 What are you guys even talking about over here? 690 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,722 KEEGAN: Noah always does this, so... 691 00:32:48,805 --> 00:32:49,806 He meets someone fun 692 00:32:49,890 --> 00:32:52,142 and then she scares 'em away with all her talking. 693 00:32:52,225 --> 00:32:54,478 -CHARLIE: Did you have Pedialyte? -HOWIE: I had... 694 00:32:54,561 --> 00:32:56,146 Who is Howie talking to? 695 00:32:56,605 --> 00:32:58,315 Oh. Them again. 696 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:00,942 -Oh, shit. -CHARLIE: I'm telling you, 697 00:33:01,026 --> 00:33:02,569 -Pedialyte works. -Come on. 698 00:33:02,652 --> 00:33:04,863 I know. It's like Gatorade without the nasty... 699 00:33:04,946 --> 00:33:07,240 -Hello. -Oh, my goodness. 700 00:33:07,324 --> 00:33:09,993 I hope that you did not get all this for us. 701 00:33:11,828 --> 00:33:13,038 Hi, Dex! 702 00:33:13,121 --> 00:33:15,415 Wait, how do you guys know Dex? 703 00:33:15,665 --> 00:33:19,461 -Uh, we just met. Is he with you guys? -No. 704 00:33:19,628 --> 00:33:21,963 CHARLIE: We just know a lot of the same people, I guess. 705 00:33:22,047 --> 00:33:24,049 Yeah, I knew Will back in California. 706 00:33:24,132 --> 00:33:27,928 You didn't strike me as a teeny-tiny- little-ice-cream-cone sorta guy. Cute. 707 00:33:29,012 --> 00:33:30,013 It's melting. 708 00:33:31,473 --> 00:33:32,474 Huh. 709 00:33:34,476 --> 00:33:38,271 Um, okay. Well, we should get all this home. We will see you guys at dinner. 710 00:33:38,355 --> 00:33:41,483 -Actually, Dex, why don't you come? -Yes, you have to. 711 00:33:41,566 --> 00:33:43,568 -Oh, my God, please come. -Yeah, come. 712 00:33:43,693 --> 00:33:46,279 Yeah, it'll give you a chance to catch up with Will. 713 00:33:46,363 --> 00:33:48,114 CHARLIE: That would be fun, right? 714 00:33:51,701 --> 00:33:53,995 Yeah. Awesome. 715 00:33:54,079 --> 00:33:56,957 Okay, so we really have to go. Raw chicken, direct sunlight... 716 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,041 CHARLIE: Of course. 717 00:33:58,124 --> 00:33:59,543 -Bye. -We'll see you later. 718 00:33:59,626 --> 00:34:00,710 -Later. -See you later. 719 00:34:00,794 --> 00:34:02,254 -Bye, Howie. -HOWIE: Bye, Charlie. 720 00:34:02,337 --> 00:34:04,422 NOAH: I didn't prepare for an extra person, but... 721 00:34:04,506 --> 00:34:06,550 What are you up to, you little troll? 722 00:34:06,633 --> 00:34:08,760 I thought I'd make dinner a little more interesting. 723 00:34:08,843 --> 00:34:10,303 HOWIE: Oh, my God. 724 00:34:18,770 --> 00:34:21,606 NOAH: Something important to understand about Fire Island 725 00:34:21,856 --> 00:34:24,651 is that time sort of works differently here. 726 00:34:26,152 --> 00:34:29,906 For whatever reason, call it magic or too many drugs, 727 00:34:30,073 --> 00:34:31,241 a full day in the Pines 728 00:34:31,324 --> 00:34:34,911 can equal anywhere between a week to three months out in the real world. 729 00:34:35,412 --> 00:34:36,413 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 730 00:34:36,496 --> 00:34:38,373 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 731 00:34:38,915 --> 00:34:41,167 You can catch feelings after just one day. 732 00:34:41,251 --> 00:34:45,088 People don't like it when you put make-up on it. I'm sorry, it's true. 733 00:34:46,506 --> 00:34:48,550 NOAH: All kinds of feelings. 734 00:34:52,178 --> 00:34:55,015 I really thought every house on the island had a hot tub. 735 00:34:55,098 --> 00:34:57,058 Yeah, I know, it's crazy, right? 736 00:34:57,142 --> 00:35:00,103 We have a GoFundMe set up, so fingers crossed, though. 737 00:35:00,186 --> 00:35:02,647 Hi, by the way. Where is the rest of your house? 738 00:35:02,731 --> 00:35:07,068 Um, yeah. Braden and the boys, they're feeling a little tired. 739 00:35:07,652 --> 00:35:09,529 Well, thank God you had the energy. 740 00:35:10,488 --> 00:35:13,199 Oh, God. Five minutes and you've already found a book? 741 00:35:13,283 --> 00:35:14,534 NOAH: Yeah, that's mine. 742 00:35:15,201 --> 00:35:16,578 You're reading Alice Munro? 743 00:35:16,661 --> 00:35:19,539 Yeah, I blazed through Animorphs already, so... 744 00:35:19,623 --> 00:35:23,460 No, I... Sorry. I just didn't think anybody would be reading here. 745 00:35:23,543 --> 00:35:25,712 CHARLIE: You're so good. I always mean to. 746 00:35:25,795 --> 00:35:29,049 Yeah, well, I just do like audio books and stuff, or a podcast. 747 00:35:29,382 --> 00:35:32,302 What kind of a gay person goes on vacation to do homework? 748 00:35:32,385 --> 00:35:33,386 A literate one. 749 00:35:33,470 --> 00:35:34,471 (LAUGHS) 750 00:35:35,138 --> 00:35:39,851 You're so funny. You're all so funny. Very biting, like, um... 751 00:35:40,101 --> 00:35:41,728 Do you know who Amy Schumer is? 752 00:35:41,811 --> 00:35:46,733 Hey, I wanna show you something that I'm gonna think of when I get inside. 753 00:35:46,816 --> 00:35:48,652 -Why don't we go do that? -(CLEARS THROAT) 754 00:35:49,152 --> 00:35:52,030 I'm gonna FaceTime my mom before I get too fucked up tonight. 755 00:35:52,113 --> 00:35:55,408 I forgot her birthday, again. What's your Wi-Fi password? 756 00:35:55,492 --> 00:35:58,119 Cherry Jones, but all the E's are threes. 757 00:36:03,375 --> 00:36:05,085 (EXHALES) 758 00:36:09,881 --> 00:36:12,592 So, you a big reader? 759 00:36:16,012 --> 00:36:17,097 I am. 760 00:36:19,724 --> 00:36:21,643 (MIMICS WILL) "And you, do you like to read?" 761 00:36:21,726 --> 00:36:24,396 -(IN NORMAL VOICE) "I do. Thank you..." -Excuse me? 762 00:36:24,771 --> 00:36:27,732 That's how conversations work. Generally, in my experience... 763 00:36:27,816 --> 00:36:30,402 Why would I ask a question I already know the answer to? 764 00:36:30,485 --> 00:36:32,612 Doesn't have to be that question, specifically. 765 00:36:32,696 --> 00:36:35,699 -Do you really not know how this works? -What's your favorite story? 766 00:36:37,826 --> 00:36:38,827 Uh... 767 00:36:39,911 --> 00:36:41,913 I don't know. Powers. 768 00:36:45,625 --> 00:36:49,129 It's, um, you know, it's quintessential Alice. 769 00:36:49,212 --> 00:36:53,717 It's got all the narrative restraint and beautiful prose 770 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,595 and then, at the same time, it's this weird departure for her. 771 00:36:57,679 --> 00:36:58,680 Really? How? 772 00:36:59,556 --> 00:37:04,519 Well, normally, what she writes about is so domestic, 773 00:37:04,602 --> 00:37:06,771 you know, and then, in this one, she's like, 774 00:37:06,855 --> 00:37:10,066 "Here's this girl with superpowers and it's crazy like..." 775 00:37:10,150 --> 00:37:12,193 I don't know if that's definitive. 776 00:37:12,277 --> 00:37:15,488 Yeah, it is. The story is literally called "Powers." 777 00:37:15,572 --> 00:37:16,781 That girl has superpowers. 778 00:37:16,865 --> 00:37:19,909 In terms of the story that she's actually telling, 779 00:37:19,993 --> 00:37:22,328 I don't think it ultimately matters if she has powers... 780 00:37:22,412 --> 00:37:24,539 If it ultimately doesn't matter, why are we arguing? 781 00:37:24,622 --> 00:37:27,167 -I didn't think we were arguing. -So, let me win. 782 00:37:28,710 --> 00:37:29,753 Okay. 783 00:37:32,172 --> 00:37:33,131 You win. 784 00:37:34,507 --> 00:37:36,801 NOAH: Somehow I'm mad and horny. 785 00:37:36,885 --> 00:37:40,096 HOWIE: I can't believe you talked me into showing you. 786 00:37:40,180 --> 00:37:42,807 -CHARLIE: I didn't talk you into it... -Oh, damn. 787 00:37:42,891 --> 00:37:45,143 Howie doesn't normally show people that sketchbook. 788 00:37:45,226 --> 00:37:47,771 -He must really like your friend. -WILL: I see. 789 00:37:49,856 --> 00:37:50,982 Is there a problem? 790 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,737 WILL: I don't know your friend, okay? But I do know Charlie, 791 00:37:55,820 --> 00:37:58,823 and people tend to mistake his kindness for affection. 792 00:37:58,907 --> 00:38:00,158 Well, I know Howie 793 00:38:00,241 --> 00:38:03,411 and I think he just wants to show your friend some doodles, so, chill. 794 00:38:03,495 --> 00:38:05,121 LUKE: Excuse me, gay community. 795 00:38:05,205 --> 00:38:06,456 (LAUGHING) 796 00:38:06,539 --> 00:38:08,500 Look who we found. The king. 797 00:38:08,583 --> 00:38:11,836 He literally said the funniest thing ever. Tell 'em, it's so funny. 798 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,922 -I'm not gonna say it. -Tell 'em now. 799 00:38:14,422 --> 00:38:15,423 Mm. 800 00:38:16,132 --> 00:38:18,593 -Is this where the orgy is? -(BOTH LAUGHING) 801 00:38:19,010 --> 00:38:21,930 LUKE: "Is this where the orgy is?" Who says "orgy"? 802 00:38:22,013 --> 00:38:23,556 KEEGAN: You're so crazy! 803 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:27,519 We're gonna head inside and play a little fun pre-dinner game. 804 00:38:27,602 --> 00:38:31,648 Uh, we don't... We don't play games. We're... We're adults. 805 00:38:31,731 --> 00:38:34,025 Oh, my bad. Howie, turn on 60 Minutes. 806 00:38:34,609 --> 00:38:38,154 Sorry, just ignore him. Tonight we are going to be game people. 807 00:38:39,531 --> 00:38:41,157 What kind of game is it? 808 00:38:41,241 --> 00:38:43,743 Oh, it's real low-stakes, real chill. 809 00:38:45,620 --> 00:38:47,580 -No! What the fuck! -Are you kidding me? 810 00:38:47,664 --> 00:38:49,541 -What is wrong with you? -Act the scene. 811 00:38:49,624 --> 00:38:52,168 -Don't you even think about... -Do not pass on this icon. 812 00:38:52,252 --> 00:38:54,295 (MIMICS MARISA TOMEI) "No. The defense is wrong!" 813 00:38:54,379 --> 00:38:56,798 (MIMICS MARISA TOMEI) "No. The defense is wrong!" 814 00:38:56,881 --> 00:38:59,843 -"No. The defense is wrong!" -"No! The defense is wrong!" 815 00:38:59,926 --> 00:39:03,847 -And Joe Pesci like, "How do you know?" -KEEGAN: And she goes, "I'm positive." 816 00:39:03,930 --> 00:39:05,932 -LUKE: "I'm positive." -Penelope Cruz? 817 00:39:06,516 --> 00:39:09,185 "My biological clock is ticking like this 818 00:39:09,269 --> 00:39:12,146 "and the way this case is going, I ain't never getting married." 819 00:39:12,230 --> 00:39:14,107 -The deer with the little... Bam! -Come on! 820 00:39:14,190 --> 00:39:16,317 -A bullet hits you in the head. -Rosie Perez? 821 00:39:16,401 --> 00:39:19,028 -Oh, my God. -Almost respect you for saying her name. 822 00:39:19,112 --> 00:39:21,114 -Bitch, who is this? -In the Bedroom nominee. 823 00:39:21,197 --> 00:39:23,658 -WILL: Laura Dern? -LUKE: Yeah, we get it, you're gay. 824 00:39:23,741 --> 00:39:25,034 (BUZZER SOUNDS) 825 00:39:25,285 --> 00:39:27,871 KEEGAN: Seriously? You couldn't get Marisa Tomei, 826 00:39:27,954 --> 00:39:30,748 -but you got Alicia Vikander? -WILL: Told you I didn't wanna play. 827 00:39:30,832 --> 00:39:32,542 LUKE: That's the problem with Hollywood. 828 00:39:32,625 --> 00:39:35,587 It's people like you who forget about Marisa Tomei, 829 00:39:35,670 --> 00:39:38,381 but they remember Alicia Vikander. Flop. 830 00:39:38,464 --> 00:39:40,049 She was really great in Ex Machina. 831 00:39:40,133 --> 00:39:41,593 You need to stay out of this, you. 832 00:39:41,676 --> 00:39:43,344 Hey, do you wanna go get a drink? 833 00:39:43,428 --> 00:39:46,055 Seems like this could go on for a while. 834 00:39:46,139 --> 00:39:48,057 LUKE: Why do I care about Ex Machina? 835 00:39:48,141 --> 00:39:50,560 -KEEGAN: Robot blobot. It don't matter. -LUKE: Can we stop? 836 00:39:50,643 --> 00:39:54,230 God! I knew it would be bad, but I didn't think it'd be that bad. 837 00:39:54,314 --> 00:39:56,858 Jesus, that guy is not good at games. 838 00:39:57,734 --> 00:39:58,818 Yeah. (SCOFFS) 839 00:39:59,569 --> 00:40:03,907 What is that? What's going on there? Did you guys used to fuck or something? 840 00:40:03,990 --> 00:40:05,325 -Who? Me and Will? -Yeah. 841 00:40:05,408 --> 00:40:06,951 Yeah, no, God. (LAUGHS) 842 00:40:07,535 --> 00:40:10,496 No, guys like Will do not fuck guys like me. 843 00:40:10,580 --> 00:40:13,124 Oh, right, I forgot. You're hideous. 844 00:40:13,291 --> 00:40:15,251 I mean, everyone in his circle 845 00:40:15,335 --> 00:40:18,713 is hot, or rich, or both. 846 00:40:18,796 --> 00:40:24,302 But, um, his real issue was, um... 847 00:40:24,802 --> 00:40:27,013 Okay, I'm just gonna be up front with you. 848 00:40:27,096 --> 00:40:30,433 I sort of have an OnlyFans. It's just pictures of me. 849 00:40:30,516 --> 00:40:32,435 I'm not trying to be a porn star or anything. 850 00:40:32,518 --> 00:40:33,978 You don't have to do that. 851 00:40:34,062 --> 00:40:36,272 You know, "sex work is work," and all that. 852 00:40:36,356 --> 00:40:41,152 Well, for guys like Will, social gatekeepers, you know... 853 00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:44,822 (SIGHS) It's a pretty big deal breaker. 854 00:40:45,448 --> 00:40:48,117 (CLICKS TONGUE) Gay guys like that are ruining this island. 855 00:40:48,534 --> 00:40:51,788 Yeah, but then again, 856 00:40:51,913 --> 00:40:53,539 there are gay guys... 857 00:40:54,666 --> 00:40:55,708 like you. 858 00:40:55,792 --> 00:40:58,294 Yeah, I'm just another horny idiot. 859 00:40:58,461 --> 00:40:59,462 Mm-hmm. 860 00:40:59,754 --> 00:41:01,172 -I can work with that. -Yeah? 861 00:41:01,255 --> 00:41:02,256 Yeah. 862 00:41:07,387 --> 00:41:08,972 ERIN: Dinner is served. 863 00:41:09,305 --> 00:41:10,306 (POPS TONGUE) 864 00:41:11,516 --> 00:41:12,934 (DEX CLEARS THROAT) 865 00:41:13,059 --> 00:41:17,855 So there I was, on my hands and knees in the middle of the Meat Rack 866 00:41:17,939 --> 00:41:22,527 trying to use the light on my flip phone 867 00:41:22,610 --> 00:41:26,531 -to scan this chick's pussy for crabs. -(ALL EXCLAIMING) 868 00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:28,658 Erin, we're literally eating right now. 869 00:41:29,534 --> 00:41:32,245 Wait, did she... Did she, you know... 870 00:41:32,704 --> 00:41:34,497 She did, but it was so worth it. 871 00:41:34,580 --> 00:41:36,749 Oh, you still went through with it? 872 00:41:36,833 --> 00:41:39,210 She was one of the great loves of my life. 873 00:41:39,293 --> 00:41:42,463 We dated for two years. We told everybody we met at Red Lobster. 874 00:41:42,547 --> 00:41:44,298 (ALL LAUGHING) 875 00:41:51,764 --> 00:41:53,474 Thank you so much for this dinner. 876 00:41:53,558 --> 00:41:56,227 We don't usually eat this well when we're here. 877 00:41:56,310 --> 00:41:57,979 Stop, you big flirt. 878 00:41:58,062 --> 00:42:02,233 Oh, I'm serious. And it's not just the dinner, it's all of you. You're... 879 00:42:03,192 --> 00:42:07,238 You're all so different than anyone I've ever met before. 880 00:42:09,991 --> 00:42:11,659 I meant that in a good way. 881 00:42:11,743 --> 00:42:14,704 Like, um, Will, you... You guys get it? 882 00:42:15,329 --> 00:42:18,708 No, it's cool. We do take this week pretty seriously. 883 00:42:19,250 --> 00:42:22,503 You know, that's why it's really gonna suck next year when we, uh... 884 00:42:24,088 --> 00:42:25,048 You know... 885 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,803 -It's... -ERIN: Okay, enough of this talk. 886 00:42:30,887 --> 00:42:32,805 Mm. You gotta forgive Noah. 887 00:42:32,889 --> 00:42:35,975 He is the most sensitive of all of my boys. 888 00:42:36,059 --> 00:42:38,352 I guess he cares about us a little too much. 889 00:42:40,229 --> 00:42:41,898 Okay, who saved room for dessert? 890 00:42:41,981 --> 00:42:43,608 -KEEGAN: I did. -LUKE: Yes, please. 891 00:42:43,691 --> 00:42:46,861 The different girls will get dessert. Just the different girls. 892 00:42:46,944 --> 00:42:49,864 Oh, fuck this. It's fine. I'm fine. 893 00:42:49,947 --> 00:42:51,699 We still have a week. 894 00:42:51,783 --> 00:42:53,993 Does anyone want a refill? Charlie? 895 00:42:54,202 --> 00:42:55,328 (HOWIE BREATHING HEAVILY) 896 00:42:55,411 --> 00:42:56,412 Come on. 897 00:42:58,372 --> 00:43:00,625 -(NOAH LAUGHS) -Shut up, that did not happen. 898 00:43:01,542 --> 00:43:04,420 Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I swear to God, that was his vibe. 899 00:43:04,504 --> 00:43:07,673 Who cares? None of this matters unless you fucked. Did you fuck? 900 00:43:09,217 --> 00:43:12,720 -We did not fuck. -(ALL GROAN) 901 00:43:12,804 --> 00:43:16,933 Howard! I gave you uninterrupted access to our room for 27 minutes. 902 00:43:17,016 --> 00:43:18,392 What the fuck were you doing? 903 00:43:18,476 --> 00:43:20,436 Ten bucks says they were doing a puzzle. 904 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,021 Tell me you weren't doing a puzzle. 905 00:43:23,940 --> 00:43:24,941 (GASPS) 906 00:43:25,525 --> 00:43:27,360 -Yeah. -(CHUCKLES) Yeah. 907 00:43:27,443 --> 00:43:30,071 Twenty-seven minutes is not long enough to do a puzzle, 908 00:43:30,154 --> 00:43:33,282 -or have sex, for that matter. -That's an episode of Chopped. 909 00:43:33,366 --> 00:43:35,910 Do you need longer than an episode of Chopped to have sex? 910 00:43:35,993 --> 00:43:38,121 Seriously. Spill. Did you make any progress? 911 00:43:41,791 --> 00:43:43,876 Coming out was a mess. 912 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,963 My mom, she definitely took it a little bit better. 913 00:43:47,797 --> 00:43:48,756 But my dad... 914 00:43:49,549 --> 00:43:52,343 Only son and all that typical dad shit. 915 00:43:53,427 --> 00:43:55,388 But that's why my friends... 916 00:43:55,555 --> 00:43:59,267 You know, you find the family that can fill in the gaps. 917 00:44:00,184 --> 00:44:02,061 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 918 00:44:03,354 --> 00:44:06,107 Shut up! Get to the good part. 919 00:44:06,858 --> 00:44:07,859 What? 920 00:44:07,942 --> 00:44:09,944 You're just really smart 921 00:44:11,362 --> 00:44:12,488 and funny, 922 00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:15,366 and, um... 923 00:44:16,576 --> 00:44:17,702 And... 924 00:44:20,496 --> 00:44:22,874 (ALL CHEERING AND EXCLAIMING) 925 00:44:22,957 --> 00:44:24,041 Was there tongue? 926 00:44:24,125 --> 00:44:25,126 Okay, awesome. 927 00:44:25,209 --> 00:44:28,421 So you've laid the groundwork perfectly to seal the deal tonight. 928 00:44:28,504 --> 00:44:30,173 -But tonight's underwear party. -Yeah. 929 00:44:30,256 --> 00:44:32,758 You take him into the dark room, get fucked, we all move on. 930 00:44:32,842 --> 00:44:35,052 In the dark room? In front of everyone? 931 00:44:35,136 --> 00:44:36,512 Why do you care so much? 932 00:44:36,596 --> 00:44:39,849 Because I'm not getting laid until you do, and my blue balls are terminal. 933 00:44:39,932 --> 00:44:42,852 Get laid, please. God. It's like your thing. 934 00:44:42,935 --> 00:44:44,145 Plus, Dex seems like a lock. 935 00:44:44,228 --> 00:44:47,940 Okay, you know what, I'm sorry, he flirts with all of us. So shut up. 936 00:44:49,525 --> 00:44:52,320 I don't know why you guys don't think of me as more of a threat. 937 00:44:52,403 --> 00:44:54,739 'Cause Dex was giving me eyes last night. 938 00:44:54,822 --> 00:44:55,990 Me, too. 939 00:44:56,073 --> 00:44:57,074 No, he wasn't. 940 00:44:57,700 --> 00:45:00,286 Now you two salivating over a basic white guy again. 941 00:45:00,369 --> 00:45:01,954 NOAH: Okay, whatever. Dex is great. 942 00:45:02,038 --> 00:45:04,207 And fringe benefit, he really pisses off Will. 943 00:45:04,290 --> 00:45:06,459 I think Will might be a little bit jealous. 944 00:45:06,584 --> 00:45:07,627 NOAH: What? 945 00:45:08,502 --> 00:45:10,922 -A little bit jealous. -Of who? 946 00:45:11,047 --> 00:45:12,131 (SCOFFS) Can you stop? 947 00:45:12,215 --> 00:45:13,507 What? I need the pump. 948 00:45:14,175 --> 00:45:17,011 Maybe Will is jealous of Dex? Or you? 949 00:45:17,094 --> 00:45:20,306 No. Dex gave me the download. Will thinks we're trash. 950 00:45:20,389 --> 00:45:22,475 He might be a little bit more complex than that. 951 00:45:22,558 --> 00:45:24,227 (SNICKERS) Who told you that? Charlie? 952 00:45:24,310 --> 00:45:27,897 No, but also Charlie wouldn't be friends with a complete asshole. 953 00:45:27,980 --> 00:45:31,692 Whatever. That guy is just another token Asian in a sea of white friends. 954 00:45:31,776 --> 00:45:33,319 Way harsh, Tai. 955 00:45:35,071 --> 00:45:37,490 I really think you might be wrong about this. 956 00:45:37,573 --> 00:45:41,202 -LUKE: Keegan, did you paint on abs? -KEEGAN: I just did a little highlight. 957 00:45:41,285 --> 00:45:45,039 HOWIE: I've got three roaches, two bags with maybe one bump between them, 958 00:45:45,122 --> 00:45:46,582 and an old bottle of poppers. 959 00:45:46,666 --> 00:45:48,417 I stole a couple of my brother's Adderall 960 00:45:48,501 --> 00:45:51,504 and if you take it with half an edible, it's basically Molly. 961 00:45:51,963 --> 00:45:54,632 I found this on the ground at Battle Hymn a couple weeks ago. 962 00:45:54,715 --> 00:45:57,134 It could be Molly, or it could be, like, a probiotic. 963 00:45:57,218 --> 00:45:59,553 Mm. Interesting. I've got half a bottle of G 964 00:45:59,637 --> 00:46:01,973 and also a full bag of K that I got in Mexico. 965 00:46:02,056 --> 00:46:05,393 -ALL: Oh! -I'm not doing drugs tonight. 966 00:46:05,476 --> 00:46:06,686 -Okay. -I'll take that. 967 00:46:06,769 --> 00:46:09,480 -Yeah, I'm gonna take... -None of you are gonna pressure me? 968 00:46:09,563 --> 00:46:11,691 Well, you don't do drugs. That's not news. 969 00:46:11,774 --> 00:46:12,984 Yeah, babe, we love you, 970 00:46:13,067 --> 00:46:16,070 you're family to us, but we no longer believe we can make you fun. 971 00:46:16,153 --> 00:46:17,780 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 972 00:46:17,947 --> 00:46:19,699 Is it down in one? Or how do I... 973 00:46:19,782 --> 00:46:21,284 -ERIN: Save some drugs for me. -No. 974 00:46:21,367 --> 00:46:22,785 -Oh, hey, girl. -Hey. 975 00:46:22,868 --> 00:46:25,538 -Sure you don't wanna come with us? -To Cherry Grove? 976 00:46:25,621 --> 00:46:28,833 -You know I'm not allowed. -Seriously? That fire was ten years ago. 977 00:46:28,916 --> 00:46:33,296 Lesbians never forget. Besides, I have so much to do here. 978 00:46:33,379 --> 00:46:36,090 You'll have a good time. You don't need me. 979 00:46:36,966 --> 00:46:38,509 -I'll be fine. -We love you. 980 00:46:38,592 --> 00:46:41,554 I love you, too. I'll miss you, too. 981 00:46:41,637 --> 00:46:45,057 I know, I know, I love you, miss you. I love you. 982 00:46:45,141 --> 00:46:48,185 Don't forget to hydrate. So much to do. 983 00:46:50,313 --> 00:46:51,314 (DOOR CLOSES) 984 00:46:51,689 --> 00:46:52,690 (LUKE GROANS) 985 00:46:53,190 --> 00:46:55,943 Cherry Grove is so far. We should've taken a water taxi. 986 00:46:56,027 --> 00:46:58,696 Because Charlie said his house was taking a water taxi. 987 00:46:58,779 --> 00:47:01,032 Girl, the water taxi is nine bucks per person. 988 00:47:01,115 --> 00:47:03,367 Know how many water bottles we could get for that? 989 00:47:03,451 --> 00:47:04,618 -One? -Exactly. 990 00:47:04,702 --> 00:47:06,120 We'll take one when we go back. 991 00:47:06,203 --> 00:47:07,913 It's better when you're fucked up anyway. 992 00:47:07,997 --> 00:47:09,165 -Ah. -Oh. 993 00:47:09,248 --> 00:47:12,084 NOAH: We're here. Okay, look alive, everybody. 994 00:47:12,209 --> 00:47:14,628 This might be the last time we get to do this together, 995 00:47:14,712 --> 00:47:16,547 so let's make it count. 996 00:47:16,630 --> 00:47:19,508 Should we pray? I feel like we should pray. 997 00:47:19,633 --> 00:47:22,386 I'm gonna get so fucked up tonight I forget my own name. 998 00:47:22,470 --> 00:47:23,512 Amen. 999 00:47:24,472 --> 00:47:26,432 (ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1000 00:47:27,850 --> 00:47:29,894 NOAH: No week on Fire Island would be complete 1001 00:47:29,977 --> 00:47:33,147 if you didn't make an appearance at the underwear party. 1002 00:47:33,689 --> 00:47:36,734 It's the one party where everyone is invited. 1003 00:47:37,526 --> 00:47:41,864 The price of admission, just 20 bucks and a little bit of dignity. 1004 00:47:41,947 --> 00:47:43,240 Now, let's get in there. 1005 00:47:43,324 --> 00:47:45,659 -And get fucked up! -Yay! (LAUGHS) 1006 00:47:45,743 --> 00:47:47,703 ALL: Three, two, one. 1007 00:47:52,666 --> 00:47:55,044 Are you sure you should be taking Luke's floor pill? 1008 00:47:55,127 --> 00:47:56,379 We don't even know what it is. 1009 00:47:56,462 --> 00:47:58,547 Whatever. The world's gonna end in 15 years anyways. 1010 00:47:58,631 --> 00:48:01,133 I might as well go out in my underwear tonight. Right, guys? 1011 00:48:01,217 --> 00:48:02,927 -(LUKE WHOOPING) -(KEEGAN LAUGHING) 1012 00:48:03,219 --> 00:48:04,929 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1013 00:48:08,808 --> 00:48:09,892 Do you see Charlie? 1014 00:48:11,018 --> 00:48:12,311 No, but I have a lead. 1015 00:48:13,020 --> 00:48:15,022 -HOWIE: Let's go talk to him. -Do we have to? 1016 00:48:15,106 --> 00:48:16,690 He's not even wearing his underwear. 1017 00:48:16,774 --> 00:48:18,776 If you're gonna be at the party, be at the party. 1018 00:48:18,859 --> 00:48:20,069 Come on. Be nice. 1019 00:48:24,990 --> 00:48:27,243 Hey. Is Charlie with you? 1020 00:48:27,827 --> 00:48:30,204 -I think he's outside. -We should go outside then... 1021 00:48:30,287 --> 00:48:33,958 No, I'll go. You stay in case he comes back. 1022 00:48:34,083 --> 00:48:37,420 -That doesn't make any sense. -Yes, it does. 1023 00:48:39,380 --> 00:48:41,340 (ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1024 00:49:09,535 --> 00:49:12,538 NOAH: So, this has to be the drugs, right? 1025 00:49:28,387 --> 00:49:31,265 Hi. Got a quick sec? 1026 00:49:31,348 --> 00:49:32,349 Yeah. Sure. 1027 00:49:39,482 --> 00:49:41,317 Sorry to pull you away, it's just... 1028 00:49:41,942 --> 00:49:45,946 I wanted to talk to you about something, and it's a little awkward. 1029 00:49:46,822 --> 00:49:48,407 No worries. What's up? 1030 00:49:49,074 --> 00:49:51,619 I wanted to talk to you about Will. 1031 00:49:51,702 --> 00:49:53,579 Oh. Okay. Why? 1032 00:49:53,662 --> 00:49:57,333 He's such a great guy, right? And, like, so rich. 1033 00:49:57,416 --> 00:50:01,462 He owns a huge house in the Hills. I think he comes from money. 1034 00:50:01,545 --> 00:50:04,590 He's got, like, that rich, prep-school kind of trauma, 1035 00:50:04,798 --> 00:50:06,509 that's why his voice is so deep. 1036 00:50:07,718 --> 00:50:10,596 Plus he's, like, kind of hot, right? 1037 00:50:11,430 --> 00:50:13,516 -Sure. -So, you do think he's hot? 1038 00:50:14,183 --> 00:50:15,184 NOAH: Damn it. 1039 00:50:15,267 --> 00:50:16,519 COOPER: It's crazy, right? 1040 00:50:16,602 --> 00:50:19,396 I'm not normally into like that kind of guy, but... 1041 00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:20,731 Like, an Asian guy? 1042 00:50:22,107 --> 00:50:24,860 Oh, my God, I did not say that. You said that. 1043 00:50:24,944 --> 00:50:26,570 Don't project that on me. 1044 00:50:26,654 --> 00:50:29,073 I actually really love that he's of a different culture. 1045 00:50:29,156 --> 00:50:30,491 Plus, I think his mom is white. 1046 00:50:31,909 --> 00:50:34,537 Uh, I'm so sorry. What are we talking about? 1047 00:50:35,204 --> 00:50:38,791 I just wanted to tell you, because you're a friend, 1048 00:50:38,874 --> 00:50:42,044 that, like, Charlie sort of brought Will here to hook up with me. 1049 00:50:42,127 --> 00:50:44,880 I'm moving to L. A. next year and I need a starter boyfriend. 1050 00:50:46,048 --> 00:50:47,550 And I saw you circling, 1051 00:50:48,217 --> 00:50:50,803 and I just wanna make sure things don't get awkward. 1052 00:50:50,886 --> 00:50:52,846 -Okay, hon? -I was not circling Will. 1053 00:50:52,930 --> 00:50:55,057 DEX: Hey. I was looking for you. 1054 00:50:55,516 --> 00:50:56,517 Um... 1055 00:50:56,850 --> 00:51:01,480 There is an emergency inside. It's medical. It's a medical emergency. 1056 00:51:01,564 --> 00:51:05,025 Oh, my God. Well, then I should go because I'm a nurse. 1057 00:51:05,109 --> 00:51:08,445 And, yeah, so I'm gonna go. But good luck with your little mission. 1058 00:51:09,113 --> 00:51:10,698 There's no medical emergency, right? 1059 00:51:10,781 --> 00:51:13,993 No, I was just thinking we could go absolutely nuts on the dance floor. 1060 00:51:17,538 --> 00:51:18,789 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1061 00:51:44,940 --> 00:51:48,152 I can't deal with these feels in my body 1062 00:51:48,277 --> 00:51:50,738 NOAH: Yeah, so, this is usually the moment 1063 00:51:50,821 --> 00:51:54,658 where I completely debase myself in a sweaty back room full of strangers. 1064 00:51:55,618 --> 00:51:56,619 But... 1065 00:51:56,702 --> 00:51:57,911 Wait. Have you seen Howie? 1066 00:51:58,996 --> 00:52:02,541 Don't be crazy. Charlie is a lock. Howie is happy. 1067 00:52:02,791 --> 00:52:03,959 Mission accomplished. 1068 00:52:04,752 --> 00:52:06,879 (GROANS) You know who else said that? 1069 00:52:06,962 --> 00:52:08,297 George W. Bush. 1070 00:52:09,757 --> 00:52:10,758 What? 1071 00:52:11,342 --> 00:52:14,011 NOAH: Confirmed. The drugs have definitely kicked in. 1072 00:52:27,941 --> 00:52:28,942 Fuck. 1073 00:52:29,943 --> 00:52:30,944 I got this. 1074 00:52:42,956 --> 00:52:44,667 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1075 00:52:46,543 --> 00:52:47,544 Huh. 1076 00:52:51,215 --> 00:52:52,758 What's he looking for? 1077 00:52:53,759 --> 00:52:55,719 -Shit! -(GROANS) 1078 00:52:55,803 --> 00:52:59,765 Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. Fuck. Let me see, let me see. 1079 00:52:59,848 --> 00:53:00,849 Oh. 1080 00:53:00,933 --> 00:53:03,435 Shit. How bad is it? What should I do? 1081 00:53:03,519 --> 00:53:04,645 In my professional opinion, 1082 00:53:04,728 --> 00:53:07,064 we need to shove a bunch of napkins up there. 1083 00:53:08,565 --> 00:53:11,944 Guys, if you wanna keep those jocks white, I would move. Get out of the way. 1084 00:53:12,027 --> 00:53:15,489 -Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? -I'm a little busy right now. 1085 00:53:15,572 --> 00:53:17,533 -Okay. Just be careful. -NOAH: What? 1086 00:53:17,616 --> 00:53:19,034 Dex is not a good guy. 1087 00:53:19,118 --> 00:53:21,286 -Why, because he has an OnlyFans? -What? No. 1088 00:53:21,370 --> 00:53:23,580 He doesn't have great things to say about you either. 1089 00:53:23,664 --> 00:53:26,959 Did I see you two naughty boys come out of the dark room together? 1090 00:53:27,042 --> 00:53:28,085 NOAH: Perfect. 1091 00:53:28,168 --> 00:53:30,587 It's so weird, Will, because he was just saying tonight 1092 00:53:30,671 --> 00:53:32,548 how he wasn't into you at all and now... 1093 00:53:32,631 --> 00:53:35,342 I didn't say that. I'm not, for the record, but... 1094 00:53:35,426 --> 00:53:36,593 Do my eyes look crazy? 1095 00:53:37,219 --> 00:53:39,471 My eyes look crazy. They're completely black. 1096 00:53:39,555 --> 00:53:42,182 No. They're fine... Actually, they are kind of weird. 1097 00:53:42,266 --> 00:53:43,267 What did you take? 1098 00:53:43,350 --> 00:53:45,227 I'm guessing he found some K. 1099 00:53:45,394 --> 00:53:48,397 Ketamine. Technically speaking, it's for horses. 1100 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,274 -My God, is that Charlie? -NOAH: What? 1101 00:53:52,651 --> 00:53:54,027 Who the fuck is that? 1102 00:53:54,987 --> 00:53:57,364 And who is that? Is that me? 1103 00:53:57,573 --> 00:53:59,283 (GASPS) I'm gorgeous. 1104 00:53:59,366 --> 00:54:01,160 COOPER: That's Charlie's ex, Rhys. 1105 00:54:01,994 --> 00:54:03,871 We just flew him out this morning. 1106 00:54:03,954 --> 00:54:06,832 Well, I guess not "ex" anymore. 1107 00:54:06,915 --> 00:54:09,626 Yeah, Dex is the one I gotta watch out for. 1108 00:54:09,710 --> 00:54:11,128 I gotta find Howie. 1109 00:54:13,172 --> 00:54:14,590 -(CRYING) -Come on. 1110 00:54:17,676 --> 00:54:20,429 Um, you're gonna take this into the bathroom, fill it up, 1111 00:54:20,512 --> 00:54:22,848 and drink until you feel normal. Okay? 1112 00:54:22,931 --> 00:54:24,099 I am fine. 1113 00:54:25,434 --> 00:54:26,518 And smart. 1114 00:54:27,269 --> 00:54:28,270 And worth it. 1115 00:54:28,353 --> 00:54:31,982 Yes, baby, yes, you are. Now go hydrate. 1116 00:54:32,107 --> 00:54:33,108 (CRIES) 1117 00:54:38,405 --> 00:54:39,490 Hey. I found you. 1118 00:54:39,573 --> 00:54:40,866 Hey. 1119 00:54:41,283 --> 00:54:42,367 Ah. 1120 00:54:42,701 --> 00:54:44,953 I didn't even know I was lost. 1121 00:54:45,662 --> 00:54:46,789 (LAUGHS) Wow. 1122 00:54:47,664 --> 00:54:49,166 NOAH: MDMA. Molly. 1123 00:54:49,249 --> 00:54:52,044 Chemically impossible to have a bad night on it. 1124 00:54:52,127 --> 00:54:53,712 Even if you wanted to. 1125 00:54:53,796 --> 00:54:55,631 So, did you ever find Charlie? 1126 00:54:56,381 --> 00:54:58,008 -You saw him with that... -Oh, yeah. 1127 00:54:58,091 --> 00:55:01,345 That fucking Zac Efron-looking guy he's dry humping? 1128 00:55:01,428 --> 00:55:04,807 No, good for him. I love Neighbors 2. 1129 00:55:04,890 --> 00:55:07,976 It's the rare sequel that surpasses the original. 1130 00:55:08,811 --> 00:55:09,853 Are you okay? 1131 00:55:09,937 --> 00:55:12,564 I mean, you saw the guy. It's game over. 1132 00:55:12,648 --> 00:55:14,441 No. The night is young. You... 1133 00:55:14,525 --> 00:55:18,821 -Yeah, I can fuck anybody I want. -Oh. 1134 00:55:19,196 --> 00:55:23,909 -Let's get you off the ground, babe. -No, the ground is the new chair, baby! 1135 00:55:24,535 --> 00:55:26,161 Oh, fuck Charlie. 1136 00:55:26,245 --> 00:55:29,039 Next time, let's just stick to someone in my league. 1137 00:55:29,122 --> 00:55:30,874 -No, that's not... -Girl. 1138 00:55:30,958 --> 00:55:33,335 I just overheard some hot-ass people 1139 00:55:33,418 --> 00:55:36,129 talking about after kiki on Bay Walk. 1140 00:55:36,213 --> 00:55:37,589 And so many people going 1141 00:55:37,673 --> 00:55:39,716 that they not gonna know we wasn't invited. 1142 00:55:41,343 --> 00:55:42,553 Is he okay? 1143 00:55:42,636 --> 00:55:43,846 And that's G. 1144 00:55:43,929 --> 00:55:47,599 You do a little too much and you end up looking like, well, that. 1145 00:55:47,683 --> 00:55:49,226 Yeah, he fine. Can we go? 1146 00:55:49,309 --> 00:55:51,228 Yeah, we definitely need to get out of here. 1147 00:55:51,311 --> 00:55:53,856 You deal with that and I'm gonna go find Max. 1148 00:55:53,939 --> 00:55:56,108 Girl, what you doing? You gotta go to that party. 1149 00:55:56,191 --> 00:55:57,526 Okay. Okay. 1150 00:55:58,694 --> 00:56:00,279 (BOTH LAUGH AND CHEER) 1151 00:56:00,612 --> 00:56:02,030 KEEGAN: It's gonna be wild. 1152 00:56:02,614 --> 00:56:05,993 Max. Come on, Max, we gotta go. 1153 00:56:06,076 --> 00:56:07,286 What's a... Oh. 1154 00:56:07,369 --> 00:56:09,413 -MAN: Can I just shit in peace? -Shit. 1155 00:56:09,496 --> 00:56:10,747 At a party. 1156 00:56:12,875 --> 00:56:13,876 Hey. 1157 00:56:16,086 --> 00:56:19,131 If you're looking for your friends, they just got on a water taxi. 1158 00:56:19,214 --> 00:56:23,468 What? Those bitches. I'm the one without a phone. 1159 00:56:23,552 --> 00:56:26,555 I think it was the last taxi out and they panicked. 1160 00:56:26,638 --> 00:56:28,515 I told them I'd come find you. 1161 00:56:30,017 --> 00:56:31,560 I know where they're going, 1162 00:56:31,643 --> 00:56:34,313 we'd just have to cut through the Meat Rack. 1163 00:56:36,148 --> 00:56:37,149 Perfect. 1164 00:56:41,111 --> 00:56:42,654 You coming or what? 1165 00:56:46,033 --> 00:56:48,452 Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck! 1166 00:56:49,328 --> 00:56:52,956 For somebody who reads so much, you have a very narrow vocabulary. 1167 00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:54,416 You're really boring, you know? 1168 00:56:54,499 --> 00:56:56,376 Because I don't speak like a 13-year-old? 1169 00:56:56,460 --> 00:56:59,379 No. Because you're rude, elitist, smug, hella judgmental... 1170 00:56:59,463 --> 00:57:01,590 You seem to have a lot of opinions about someone 1171 00:57:01,673 --> 00:57:03,258 you've only known for three days. 1172 00:57:03,342 --> 00:57:06,678 That's funny. You had a lot of opinions about me after what? Three hours? 1173 00:57:06,762 --> 00:57:09,097 -What're You talking about? -God, how did you put it? 1174 00:57:09,181 --> 00:57:11,516 "He's not hot enough to be that annoying"? 1175 00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,018 Did Charlie tell you I said that? 1176 00:57:13,101 --> 00:57:14,645 That's what you're concerned about? 1177 00:57:14,728 --> 00:57:17,606 -No, I'm sorry, I just... -No, Charlie didn't tell me. 1178 00:57:17,689 --> 00:57:18,815 Are you happy? 1179 00:57:18,899 --> 00:57:20,442 God, say what you will about me, 1180 00:57:20,525 --> 00:57:23,111 but you barely even met Howie before you and your crew 1181 00:57:23,195 --> 00:57:25,155 decided he wasn't good enough for Charlie. 1182 00:57:25,238 --> 00:57:28,659 And then to pull this shit. Literally airdropping in his ex from Manhattan. 1183 00:57:28,742 --> 00:57:29,785 That's psychotic. 1184 00:57:29,868 --> 00:57:32,746 I didn't have anything to do with Rhys coming here. That was Cooper. 1185 00:57:32,829 --> 00:57:35,707 I can't stand Rhys. For the record, I like your friend. 1186 00:57:35,791 --> 00:57:37,834 Anything I did, I was doing to protect Charlie. 1187 00:57:37,918 --> 00:57:41,463 Protect Charlie? From who? From Howie? 1188 00:57:41,546 --> 00:57:45,133 Have you met him? I should've been protecting him from all of you people. 1189 00:57:45,217 --> 00:57:48,011 "You people"? What do I have in common with any of them? 1190 00:57:48,095 --> 00:57:51,264 I've never met somebody who made it so clear, so immediately, 1191 00:57:51,348 --> 00:57:53,767 that they think they're so superior than everybody else. 1192 00:57:53,850 --> 00:57:55,852 First I thought it was because you were rich, 1193 00:57:55,936 --> 00:57:57,604 but it's actually deeper than that. 1194 00:57:57,688 --> 00:58:00,816 You think if you let everybody know how miserable you are being gay, 1195 00:58:00,899 --> 00:58:02,734 it'll make you less of a faggot than us. 1196 00:58:02,818 --> 00:58:04,277 I don't think I'm better than you. 1197 00:58:04,361 --> 00:58:06,238 -You don't have to, everybody else does. -Who? 1198 00:58:06,321 --> 00:58:09,282 The whole fucking world. Dude, look at us. 1199 00:58:09,366 --> 00:58:11,910 Okay, you're this big, rich, successful lawyer 1200 00:58:11,994 --> 00:58:14,037 who might as well be straight. And I'm not. 1201 00:58:14,121 --> 00:58:15,664 You are spectacular. 1202 00:58:15,747 --> 00:58:18,250 You think you've got the whole world figured out, 1203 00:58:18,333 --> 00:58:20,752 but all you're doing is assuming the worst. 1204 00:58:20,836 --> 00:58:23,672 Makes it easier for you. You expect everyone to reject you, 1205 00:58:23,755 --> 00:58:25,841 so when somebody comes along and actually does, 1206 00:58:25,924 --> 00:58:27,426 it doesn't hurt so much. 1207 00:58:29,386 --> 00:58:31,179 The reality is, Noah, 1208 00:58:32,889 --> 00:58:34,850 no one's thinking that much about you. 1209 00:58:35,892 --> 00:58:39,229 You know what, I don't give a shit what you think about me. 1210 00:58:39,312 --> 00:58:41,606 -Fuck! -Oh, shit. You okay? 1211 00:58:41,690 --> 00:58:43,191 I'm fine. I got this. 1212 00:58:43,275 --> 00:58:45,235 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1213 00:58:48,572 --> 00:58:49,614 What are you doing? 1214 00:58:50,866 --> 00:58:51,867 You hate me. 1215 00:58:54,327 --> 00:58:56,621 I... I have to go. I'm gonna go. 1216 00:58:56,705 --> 00:58:58,790 And maybe you should just... 1217 00:58:58,874 --> 00:59:00,751 You know what, do whatever you want. 1218 00:59:05,922 --> 00:59:07,883 (MUFFLED ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1219 00:59:15,515 --> 00:59:16,516 DEX: Hey. 1220 00:59:17,184 --> 00:59:18,393 Oh, hey. 1221 00:59:23,940 --> 00:59:26,902 -What happened to you? -Uh, have you seen Howie? 1222 00:59:26,985 --> 00:59:29,863 I can't find Luke. I think he's falling out. 1223 00:59:29,946 --> 00:59:31,031 Is that news? 1224 00:59:31,114 --> 00:59:32,824 Well, we have to get him home. 1225 00:59:32,908 --> 00:59:34,868 Okay, go find Howie. I'll take care of this. 1226 00:59:34,951 --> 00:59:36,036 Thank you. 1227 00:59:38,830 --> 00:59:40,874 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1228 00:59:48,715 --> 00:59:50,467 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1229 00:59:56,306 --> 00:59:58,308 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1230 01:00:03,063 --> 01:00:04,064 Howie? 1231 01:00:05,857 --> 01:00:07,234 (ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 1232 01:00:07,651 --> 01:00:09,444 Okay, thank you. Worth a shot. 1233 01:00:10,362 --> 01:00:13,448 Hey, you will never guess what just happened to me. 1234 01:00:14,116 --> 01:00:16,368 You fell in a bunch of mud? 1235 01:00:16,451 --> 01:00:18,578 Uh, yeah. Do you wanna get out of here? 1236 01:00:18,662 --> 01:00:20,914 Actually, he was just about to leave with me. 1237 01:00:20,997 --> 01:00:23,416 -NOAH: Uh, no, he's not. -Jealous. 1238 01:00:24,376 --> 01:00:27,629 You know, I've got a big bed, room enough for three. 1239 01:00:27,712 --> 01:00:30,006 -Thanks. But we're gonna pass. -I'm not. 1240 01:00:30,549 --> 01:00:31,550 What? 1241 01:00:33,260 --> 01:00:34,594 Can you excuse us for a second? 1242 01:00:34,678 --> 01:00:37,931 -I need to talk to you upstairs. -HOWIE: What are you doing? What? 1243 01:00:41,893 --> 01:00:44,646 -What are you doing? -Exactly what you told me to do. 1244 01:00:44,729 --> 01:00:47,107 Not with that guy, though. Anybody but that guy. 1245 01:00:47,190 --> 01:00:48,191 -He's into me. -Yeah. 1246 01:00:48,275 --> 01:00:52,863 And he has, like, five anime tattoos. You said no settling, that is settling. 1247 01:00:52,946 --> 01:00:55,615 And you said this was supposed to make me feel good. 1248 01:00:55,699 --> 01:00:59,619 Well, guess what? I don't feel good. I feel really fucking bad right now. 1249 01:00:59,703 --> 01:01:02,038 But fucking some rice queen won't make you feel better. 1250 01:01:02,122 --> 01:01:04,583 -There are plenty of other guys... -For you! 1251 01:01:04,666 --> 01:01:05,667 For you, too! 1252 01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:08,837 No, stop it. Stop talking about this like we're the same! 1253 01:01:10,589 --> 01:01:11,548 But we are. 1254 01:01:12,215 --> 01:01:13,592 You and me. Fuck the rest. 1255 01:01:13,675 --> 01:01:14,676 No, stop! 1256 01:01:14,759 --> 01:01:18,889 You wanna feel so good so badly that you did all this. 1257 01:01:19,556 --> 01:01:22,726 And now you want me to feel good, too. Because you... 1258 01:01:22,809 --> 01:01:25,687 I don't know, you feel guilty? I don't really give a shit. 1259 01:01:25,770 --> 01:01:30,192 But stop pretending like you don't understand how the world works. 1260 01:01:33,153 --> 01:01:34,362 That's really unfair. 1261 01:01:35,614 --> 01:01:36,698 Fuck you. 1262 01:02:06,895 --> 01:02:07,938 (SIGHS SOFTLY) 1263 01:02:28,625 --> 01:02:32,545 NOAH: Don't tell anybody, but I think I might've fucked up. 1264 01:02:43,807 --> 01:02:45,809 -I cannot believe you left us there. -Wake up! 1265 01:02:45,892 --> 01:02:48,979 -How are you still sleeping? -MAX: I was out of my mind! Okay? 1266 01:02:49,062 --> 01:02:51,064 -KEEGAN: You still rolling, girl. -One at a time. 1267 01:02:51,147 --> 01:02:53,233 -Howie still isn't home. -Neither is Luke. 1268 01:02:53,316 --> 01:02:56,152 Thanks for your help last night. 'Cause now he's missing. 1269 01:02:56,236 --> 01:02:58,488 I swear, if something happened to him... 1270 01:02:58,571 --> 01:03:00,532 Like, we were making a podcast. 1271 01:03:00,615 --> 01:03:01,825 And this came for you. 1272 01:03:02,659 --> 01:03:03,868 What the fuck is this? 1273 01:03:03,952 --> 01:03:08,123 Oh, that horrible friend of Charlie's... What's his name? Wu? Womb? 1274 01:03:08,206 --> 01:03:12,168 Will? Is this a letter? What does it say? 1275 01:03:12,252 --> 01:03:14,587 We don't know. Max wouldn't let us read it. 1276 01:03:17,215 --> 01:03:20,260 Oh, okay. I'm gonna go read this inside. 1277 01:03:20,343 --> 01:03:23,805 Wait! Can you at least tell us what it says? 1278 01:03:23,888 --> 01:03:27,350 Please? Come on, we are so bored, girl. 1279 01:03:31,146 --> 01:03:34,399 WILL: "Hey. I know this isn't the ideal way to do this, 1280 01:03:34,482 --> 01:03:37,027 "but you don't have a phone at the moment, 1281 01:03:37,110 --> 01:03:41,406 "and I thought it might be best to do this sooner rather than later. 1282 01:03:42,324 --> 01:03:44,159 "So, let me say, sincerely, 1283 01:03:45,618 --> 01:03:46,828 "I'm sorry. 1284 01:03:50,957 --> 01:03:52,834 "For what I said that first night. 1285 01:03:54,336 --> 01:03:55,503 "For everything. 1286 01:03:58,715 --> 01:04:03,261 "Beyond that, I did wanna clarify one thing, about Dex. 1287 01:04:04,512 --> 01:04:07,182 "He's not the person he presents himself to be. 1288 01:04:09,476 --> 01:04:11,811 "I promise, my dislike of him has nothing to do 1289 01:04:11,895 --> 01:04:13,271 "with whatever he told you, 1290 01:04:13,355 --> 01:04:16,858 "and everything to do with what he did to someone I'm close to. 1291 01:04:17,942 --> 01:04:22,447 "Just know he is exceptionally good at hiding who he really is. 1292 01:04:23,281 --> 01:04:24,991 "I hope you can forgive me, 1293 01:04:25,075 --> 01:04:28,661 "and that maybe eventually we could even be friends. 1294 01:04:29,579 --> 01:04:31,164 "Sincerely, Will." 1295 01:04:33,500 --> 01:04:34,501 (SCOFFS) 1296 01:04:35,085 --> 01:04:36,127 What the fuck? 1297 01:04:37,379 --> 01:04:38,546 We have a situation. 1298 01:04:39,255 --> 01:04:40,840 What the fuck is he doing here? 1299 01:04:40,924 --> 01:04:43,093 He showed up saying he needed to talk to Howie. 1300 01:04:43,176 --> 01:04:46,096 They're in the one place that's impossible to eavesdrop on. 1301 01:04:46,179 --> 01:04:49,224 -NOAH: (SIGHS) When did Howie get back? -A little while ago. 1302 01:04:49,307 --> 01:04:51,351 Did something happen between you two? 1303 01:04:51,434 --> 01:04:55,021 I don't know. I think he... I think he blames me for that. 1304 01:04:55,105 --> 01:04:58,316 But I told him from the start, don't get sucked into one guy's orbit. 1305 01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:00,235 Especially that guy. 1306 01:05:00,318 --> 01:05:04,239 And I've been focused all week on him and his happiness and getting him laid. 1307 01:05:04,322 --> 01:05:06,866 And I didn't think it would solve all his problems, 1308 01:05:06,950 --> 01:05:09,786 but I thought I could make him feel hot and powerful for a week. 1309 01:05:09,869 --> 01:05:11,955 Is sex what makes you feel hot and powerful? 1310 01:05:12,038 --> 01:05:14,082 No. I'm hot and powerful, so I have a lot of sex. 1311 01:05:14,165 --> 01:05:16,960 I just thought I could reverse-engineer it a little bit. 1312 01:05:17,752 --> 01:05:20,839 But... I think I can still fix this. I just... 1313 01:05:21,965 --> 01:05:24,134 (SIGHS) I don't know. It's complicated. 1314 01:05:24,217 --> 01:05:26,344 "Complicated"? Please. Wanna know what I think... 1315 01:05:26,428 --> 01:05:29,556 Babe, I love you, but this is me and Howie. It's serious. 1316 01:05:29,639 --> 01:05:31,933 Oh. Fuck you. Listen. 1317 01:05:32,016 --> 01:05:34,769 I know you all think I'm some old, ridiculous burnout, 1318 01:05:34,853 --> 01:05:39,232 but I had a whole life before I met you, and it used to look a lot like yours. 1319 01:05:39,315 --> 01:05:41,443 I had lovers, and friends, 1320 01:05:41,526 --> 01:05:44,028 summers in Cherry Grove with lesbians my own age. 1321 01:05:44,112 --> 01:05:47,699 -And I thought I had it all figured out. -Babe, I know all your stories. 1322 01:05:47,782 --> 01:05:50,869 Yes, the fun ones. Not the ones where I fucked it up. 1323 01:05:50,952 --> 01:05:54,330 I tried to fix everyone, but what I was doing is, over time, 1324 01:05:54,414 --> 01:05:56,916 slowly pushing everyone I cared about out of my life. 1325 01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,253 Until my only friends were a group of boys half my age 1326 01:06:00,336 --> 01:06:03,006 who only put up with me because I have a house on Fire Island. 1327 01:06:03,089 --> 01:06:04,632 That's not true. We love you. 1328 01:06:04,716 --> 01:06:07,802 That's sweet. But you're missing the point. 1329 01:06:07,886 --> 01:06:10,180 Howie doesn't need anyone to fix him. 1330 01:06:10,263 --> 01:06:13,266 Not you, not this island, not anything. 1331 01:06:14,225 --> 01:06:16,144 He just needs a friend. 1332 01:06:16,227 --> 01:06:18,062 He'll be just fine. You'll see. 1333 01:06:23,193 --> 01:06:24,903 Oh, my God! My baby's drowning! 1334 01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:34,245 So Charlie's ex has Lyme disease? 1335 01:06:34,329 --> 01:06:36,080 -MAX: Seriously? -ERIN: Please. 1336 01:06:36,164 --> 01:06:38,458 KEEGAN: It's like that thing Yolanda Hadid has? 1337 01:06:39,209 --> 01:06:44,088 Yeah, he just found out. And, now, Charlie, you know... 1338 01:06:46,174 --> 01:06:49,344 Wants to be supportive because he says it's really serious. 1339 01:06:49,427 --> 01:06:51,554 NOAH: Oh, my God. That's clearly bullshit. 1340 01:06:51,638 --> 01:06:53,097 You saw that guy last night. He... 1341 01:06:53,181 --> 01:06:55,975 Yeah, Charlie probably made it up because he feels bad. 1342 01:06:56,059 --> 01:06:59,854 -No, that's not what I was gonna say. -What difference does it make? 1343 01:07:06,319 --> 01:07:07,320 (SCOFFS) 1344 01:07:36,182 --> 01:07:37,517 NOAH: I don't think so. 1345 01:07:42,146 --> 01:07:44,190 You just twist your blind a little bit. 1346 01:07:44,274 --> 01:07:45,441 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1347 01:07:45,692 --> 01:07:47,652 Leave the door ajar. 1348 01:07:49,654 --> 01:07:51,990 And let the whole salad bar hang out, honey. 1349 01:07:52,073 --> 01:07:53,783 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1350 01:07:54,325 --> 01:07:56,369 So we brought sandwiches to the room... 1351 01:07:56,452 --> 01:07:57,996 -No microwave, honey. -Hey, weirdo. 1352 01:07:58,079 --> 01:07:59,998 You dropped your ice cream back there. 1353 01:08:00,707 --> 01:08:01,708 Oh. 1354 01:08:02,375 --> 01:08:03,960 I wasn't sure you'd want to see me. 1355 01:08:04,043 --> 01:08:06,170 So you ran away? 1356 01:08:06,254 --> 01:08:07,630 Returning the favor. 1357 01:08:07,714 --> 01:08:08,673 Very funny. 1358 01:08:09,340 --> 01:08:10,466 I got your letter. 1359 01:08:12,218 --> 01:08:13,261 I see. Uh... 1360 01:08:14,012 --> 01:08:15,847 -So are we... -Good? 1361 01:08:17,181 --> 01:08:18,224 We're good. 1362 01:08:18,891 --> 01:08:22,562 I am, however, a little pissed at your friend right now. Lyme disease? 1363 01:08:22,645 --> 01:08:24,480 You kidding me? Does he even like that guy? 1364 01:08:24,564 --> 01:08:27,859 I don't know. Can we... Can we talk about something else? 1365 01:08:27,942 --> 01:08:30,528 Sure. Let's talk about Dex. 1366 01:08:30,612 --> 01:08:33,573 You send me this weird letter like a Victorian ghost, 1367 01:08:33,656 --> 01:08:36,326 filled with all these vague details about the past. 1368 01:08:36,409 --> 01:08:38,161 It's not really my story to tell. 1369 01:08:38,411 --> 01:08:41,164 But look at this, and it'll give you a clearer picture 1370 01:08:41,247 --> 01:08:43,458 of the kind of person he really is. 1371 01:08:43,541 --> 01:08:45,418 He has an Instagram. What a villain. 1372 01:08:46,419 --> 01:08:48,796 Okay. So he has some thotty pictures. 1373 01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:51,883 But it doesn't make him a bad guy necessarily. 1374 01:08:52,925 --> 01:08:54,385 -Oh. -Just be careful. 1375 01:08:55,428 --> 01:08:56,888 You have to trust me. 1376 01:08:56,971 --> 01:08:58,681 Like we're friends or something? 1377 01:08:59,349 --> 01:09:00,433 Something like that. 1378 01:09:01,976 --> 01:09:04,145 -I'm not an easy guy to be friends with. -Shocking. 1379 01:09:04,228 --> 01:09:05,813 Oh, yeah, right. And you are? 1380 01:09:06,814 --> 01:09:10,068 DRAG QUEEN: 'Cause you know what? It's time for the dance-off! 1381 01:09:10,151 --> 01:09:12,111 I have a lot of friends, actually. 1382 01:09:13,154 --> 01:09:14,906 I'm a very fun-loving person. 1383 01:09:14,989 --> 01:09:16,574 -(CLICKS TONGUE) Really? -Yep. 1384 01:09:16,658 --> 01:09:17,659 Prove it. 1385 01:09:17,742 --> 01:09:20,828 I need some new blood though, honey. You come every single week. 1386 01:09:20,912 --> 01:09:21,913 -Good grief. -Over here! 1387 01:09:21,996 --> 01:09:25,083 -No. I... That wasn't... -You said you were fun. Be fun. 1388 01:09:25,166 --> 01:09:26,167 DRAG QUEEN: You, you. 1389 01:09:26,250 --> 01:09:28,252 -NOAH: Over here. -Honey, you had too many shots. 1390 01:09:28,336 --> 01:09:32,215 Yeah, very eager. Hey. Hi, gorgeous, come on up. 1391 01:09:32,298 --> 01:09:33,675 (IN SING-SONG VOICE) Hello! 1392 01:09:33,758 --> 01:09:35,677 Stand in line over here. 1393 01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:38,763 All right. So, what is your name? 1394 01:09:38,846 --> 01:09:39,847 Will. 1395 01:09:39,931 --> 01:09:42,892 Hi, Will. Everybody say hey! 1396 01:09:43,017 --> 01:09:44,102 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1397 01:09:44,394 --> 01:09:46,813 -Have you ever done a dance-off before? -No. 1398 01:09:47,980 --> 01:09:50,483 (LAUGHING) 1399 01:09:50,566 --> 01:09:53,319 Okay. Are you excited for the dance-off? 1400 01:09:53,403 --> 01:09:54,404 Yep. 1401 01:09:54,570 --> 01:09:56,489 (MIMICS ROBOT) "Yes, I'm excited." 1402 01:09:56,572 --> 01:09:57,740 (IN NORMAL VOICE) Okay. 1403 01:09:57,824 --> 01:09:59,867 DJ Max is gonna put on some music. 1404 01:09:59,951 --> 01:10:02,829 And you just, you know, shake your groove thing. Right? 1405 01:10:02,912 --> 01:10:06,165 -Y'all ready to see it? DJ, stick it in. -(AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1406 01:10:06,290 --> 01:10:09,377 -(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) -Come on, everybody get sexy now. 1407 01:10:09,460 --> 01:10:12,964 Feel the beat. Okay, Will. 1408 01:10:13,881 --> 01:10:17,844 All right. Okay, get to the front. Let's see what you really got, honey. 1409 01:10:17,927 --> 01:10:19,345 All right, Will. Let's go. 1410 01:10:19,429 --> 01:10:20,430 Uh 1411 01:10:22,056 --> 01:10:23,099 Uh, uh 1412 01:10:23,182 --> 01:10:25,059 Get sexy. Ooh. Ooh. 1413 01:10:25,435 --> 01:10:26,644 (CHUCKLES) Get sexy. 1414 01:10:26,728 --> 01:10:29,605 Yeah. Okay, somebody's been studying! 1415 01:10:30,314 --> 01:10:33,443 Yes. That's right. Think Paula Abdul. 1416 01:10:34,485 --> 01:10:38,030 Yes, okay. Not RoboCop, Paula Abdul. 1417 01:10:38,406 --> 01:10:41,033 -(AUDIENCE MEMBER CHEERS) -(LAUGHS) 1418 01:10:41,576 --> 01:10:45,705 Oh, Will, babe. Okay, the '90s. Just straight up the '90s. 1419 01:10:45,872 --> 01:10:49,292 Okay. Yes, okay. West Side Story. 1420 01:10:49,375 --> 01:10:51,753 In the '90s. Okay! 1421 01:10:52,587 --> 01:10:53,671 Oh, Will! 1422 01:10:53,755 --> 01:10:55,298 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1423 01:10:56,549 --> 01:10:58,926 Okay. Okay, oh, yeah, yeah. 1424 01:10:59,093 --> 01:11:00,261 (LAUGHS) 1425 01:11:00,553 --> 01:11:02,889 You got your eye on somebody. All right! 1426 01:11:06,392 --> 01:11:09,020 (SOFT INDIE MUSIC PLAYING) 1427 01:12:18,756 --> 01:12:21,050 -KEEGAN: Girl, come on. Tell us. -Not now. Later. 1428 01:12:21,133 --> 01:12:22,593 -But we wanna know now. -Stop! 1429 01:12:22,677 --> 01:12:24,637 -You were gone forever yesterday. -Stop. 1430 01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:26,889 -And no texts, nothing. -We thought you were dead. 1431 01:12:26,973 --> 01:12:29,934 -Okay. Well, I'm here now. Okay? -Well, who was it? 1432 01:12:30,017 --> 01:12:31,727 Who even says I was with someone? 1433 01:12:31,811 --> 01:12:35,773 Guys, remember when he got locked in that guy's bathroom for six hours? 1434 01:12:35,857 --> 01:12:38,776 Maybe he got locked in two different bathrooms. That's half a day. 1435 01:12:38,860 --> 01:12:41,863 Okay. Well, for your information, actually, I was with a guy. 1436 01:12:41,946 --> 01:12:43,865 -I knew it. -LUKE: Sorry, Noah. 1437 01:12:43,948 --> 01:12:46,659 Looks like I'm the hot one now. 1438 01:12:46,742 --> 01:12:48,828 (MAN SINGING ON STAGE) 1439 01:12:50,162 --> 01:12:52,623 -He got locked in a bathroom again. -Without question. 1440 01:12:52,707 --> 01:12:53,875 (CHUCKLES) 1441 01:12:56,836 --> 01:12:59,797 Okay, ma'am, how long are you gonna be mad at me? 1442 01:12:59,881 --> 01:13:02,508 -Sir, I'm not mad at you. -This is the longest 1443 01:13:02,592 --> 01:13:05,595 you've not talked to me since I said Call Me By Your Name was boring. 1444 01:13:05,678 --> 01:13:08,055 I'm sorry it's not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 1445 01:13:08,139 --> 01:13:11,142 -EMCEE: Next, we've got Howie! -What? No, I didn't... 1446 01:13:11,225 --> 01:13:13,019 -LUKE: We did. You have to. -No, I can't... 1447 01:13:13,102 --> 01:13:14,687 KEEGAN: Come on. It's tradition. 1448 01:13:14,770 --> 01:13:16,898 -AUDIENCE MEMBER: Hey! -(AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1449 01:13:16,981 --> 01:13:18,482 (AUDIENCE WHISTLING) 1450 01:13:20,610 --> 01:13:21,736 (AUDIENCE MEMBER 2 WHOOPS) 1451 01:13:23,779 --> 01:13:25,114 (SOMETIMES PLAYING) 1452 01:13:25,364 --> 01:13:26,532 (AUDIENCE MEMBER 2 WHOOPS) 1453 01:13:33,998 --> 01:13:37,084 You tell me you're in love with me 1454 01:13:38,544 --> 01:13:43,049 Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me 1455 01:13:43,674 --> 01:13:47,386 It's not that I don't wanna stay 1456 01:13:48,346 --> 01:13:52,350 But every time you come too close I move away 1457 01:13:52,433 --> 01:13:54,769 -BOTH: Ooh -I wanna believe 1458 01:13:54,852 --> 01:13:57,688 In everything that you say 1459 01:13:58,147 --> 01:14:01,233 'Cause it sounds so good 1460 01:14:01,317 --> 01:14:06,030 ALL: But if you really want me Move slow 1461 01:14:06,113 --> 01:14:09,951 There's things about me you just have to know 1462 01:14:10,034 --> 01:14:11,494 Sometimes I run 1463 01:14:12,662 --> 01:14:14,997 Sometimes I hide 1464 01:14:15,081 --> 01:14:17,792 Sometimes I'm scared of you 1465 01:14:17,875 --> 01:14:22,672 But all I really want is to hold you tight 1466 01:14:22,755 --> 01:14:27,718 Treat you right Be with you day and night 1467 01:14:27,802 --> 01:14:30,137 Baby, all I need is time 1468 01:14:30,221 --> 01:14:32,807 Just hang around and you'll see 1469 01:14:32,890 --> 01:14:35,601 There's nowhere I'd rather be 1470 01:14:35,685 --> 01:14:39,897 If you love me, trust in me 1471 01:14:39,981 --> 01:14:44,735 The way that I trust in you 1472 01:14:44,819 --> 01:14:46,404 MAN: We love you, girls! 1473 01:14:46,529 --> 01:14:48,072 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1474 01:14:48,406 --> 01:14:50,950 -(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) -(CHUCKLING) Shut up. 1475 01:14:53,119 --> 01:14:54,787 AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: I know all the words. 1476 01:14:54,870 --> 01:14:56,664 Sometimes I run 1477 01:14:56,747 --> 01:14:57,790 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1478 01:14:57,873 --> 01:14:59,750 Sometimes I hide 1479 01:14:59,834 --> 01:15:03,129 Sometimes I'm scared of you 1480 01:15:03,212 --> 01:15:07,967 But all I really want is to hold you tight 1481 01:15:08,050 --> 01:15:12,722 Treat you right Be with you day and night 1482 01:15:12,805 --> 01:15:16,392 Baby, all I need is time 1483 01:15:16,475 --> 01:15:19,270 -AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: Give it to me! -(ALL CHEERING) 1484 01:15:23,357 --> 01:15:25,026 Come on, girls! 1485 01:15:26,527 --> 01:15:27,528 (SCREAMS) 1486 01:15:29,113 --> 01:15:31,032 (GASPING) 1487 01:15:31,157 --> 01:15:32,908 KEEGAN: Girl, what's the matter? 1488 01:15:32,992 --> 01:15:33,993 -More words, okay? -Luke! 1489 01:15:34,076 --> 01:15:36,620 -What's going on? -My poor Luke! 1490 01:15:36,704 --> 01:15:39,290 Poor me? What? Oh, my God. 1491 01:15:41,125 --> 01:15:42,168 Is that me? 1492 01:15:42,877 --> 01:15:43,961 What the fuck? 1493 01:15:46,422 --> 01:15:48,007 Fuck, is that Dex? 1494 01:15:48,090 --> 01:15:51,635 -Why are you in a video with Dex? -My friend Jonathan sent it to me. 1495 01:15:51,719 --> 01:15:54,680 Some guy named TJ screen-recorded it and sent it to Greg, 1496 01:15:54,764 --> 01:15:57,099 who recognized Luke, then sent it to Jonathan! 1497 01:15:57,183 --> 01:16:00,061 Probably half the cater-waiters on the Lower East Side have seen it. 1498 01:16:00,144 --> 01:16:02,480 There's not much to do between courses besides jerk off. 1499 01:16:02,563 --> 01:16:04,440 This is bad, that's my whole face. 1500 01:16:04,523 --> 01:16:07,193 Did he tell you he was gonna do that? If it was okay? 1501 01:16:07,276 --> 01:16:08,360 What do you think? 1502 01:16:08,444 --> 01:16:10,279 I don't know. I don't remember. 1503 01:16:10,362 --> 01:16:13,240 I was so fucked up I barely remember having sex with him. 1504 01:16:13,324 --> 01:16:14,325 This is not cool. 1505 01:16:14,408 --> 01:16:16,952 But I remember I woke up in the morning and he was there. 1506 01:16:17,036 --> 01:16:19,205 And we spent the whole day mostly fucking, 1507 01:16:19,288 --> 01:16:21,207 which I definitely consented to that. 1508 01:16:21,290 --> 01:16:24,335 And I thought the whole thing was kind of romantic until right now. 1509 01:16:24,418 --> 01:16:26,253 -NOAH: Give me that. -What are you gonna do? 1510 01:16:26,337 --> 01:16:28,839 Please don't do anything insane. Just have him take it down. 1511 01:16:28,923 --> 01:16:31,759 I don't want him mad at me, so don't be all Noah about it. 1512 01:16:31,842 --> 01:16:33,052 NOAH: I'm gonna kill him. 1513 01:16:33,135 --> 01:16:34,136 Sure. 1514 01:16:34,845 --> 01:16:38,099 -Luke, I'm so sor... -What the fuck! That is so fucked up! 1515 01:16:38,724 --> 01:16:40,476 You'll be happy to know you were right. 1516 01:16:40,559 --> 01:16:42,603 I'm gonna be honest. This feels like a trap. 1517 01:16:45,231 --> 01:16:47,566 -Why am I looking at pornography? -Look closer. 1518 01:16:49,902 --> 01:16:53,781 -I'm gonna kill him. -No, wait. I said that. That's my thing. 1519 01:16:56,784 --> 01:16:58,702 -Hey, what's up? -Fucking little shit! 1520 01:17:02,832 --> 01:17:04,875 -What the fuck? -Look familiar? 1521 01:17:04,959 --> 01:17:05,960 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 1522 01:17:06,043 --> 01:17:08,796 Okay. I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding, okay? 1523 01:17:08,879 --> 01:17:10,047 You don't get to be dry. 1524 01:17:10,131 --> 01:17:13,050 If you're pissed because I fucked your friend instead of you, 1525 01:17:13,134 --> 01:17:14,844 -the least you could've... -Nice try. 1526 01:17:14,927 --> 01:17:18,305 I'm pissed because you're a loser and a fraud who takes advantage of people. 1527 01:17:18,389 --> 01:17:20,307 He was willing. More than I can say for you. 1528 01:17:20,391 --> 01:17:22,685 He didn't know you'd put this online! That's... 1529 01:17:22,768 --> 01:17:23,769 WILL: A crime. 1530 01:17:25,187 --> 01:17:27,690 Without some sort of written waiver of consent, 1531 01:17:27,773 --> 01:17:31,110 this meets the criteria under New York state law for revenge porn. 1532 01:17:32,194 --> 01:17:36,407 Add in the illegal substances involved and you're looking at jail time, 1533 01:17:36,490 --> 01:17:39,618 a hefty fine, and registration as a sex offender. 1534 01:17:39,702 --> 01:17:42,121 -Hold on. We do not have... -Speaking with the victim, 1535 01:17:42,204 --> 01:17:44,540 I think we can resolve this matter right now. 1536 01:17:46,917 --> 01:17:47,918 How? 1537 01:17:48,002 --> 01:17:51,714 WILL: Delete the video on your phone and your website for starters. 1538 01:17:51,797 --> 01:17:52,882 Now. 1539 01:17:54,300 --> 01:17:56,051 WILL: I would make it my personal mission 1540 01:17:56,135 --> 01:17:59,138 to make sure these videos disappear forever. 1541 01:17:59,221 --> 01:18:01,098 And you have to delete your Instagram. 1542 01:18:01,182 --> 01:18:03,976 -What? No way! -I don't think we can make him do that. 1543 01:18:04,059 --> 01:18:06,395 If a judge saw the Instagram, they'd be on my side. 1544 01:18:07,479 --> 01:18:08,856 Fuck, just check his phone. 1545 01:18:14,278 --> 01:18:15,821 Awesome. We're done here. 1546 01:18:19,283 --> 01:18:22,453 -Those are waterproof now, you know. -Don't ruin this for me. 1547 01:18:23,078 --> 01:18:25,206 NOAH: Shut the fuck up! You made that up? 1548 01:18:25,289 --> 01:18:30,252 Some of it. Some of it was a little bit of an exaggeration. 1549 01:18:30,336 --> 01:18:32,338 Holy shit! You Legally Blonde'd him. 1550 01:18:32,421 --> 01:18:34,715 -Oh, my God. -Sorry, I don't know what that is. 1551 01:18:35,883 --> 01:18:37,051 You don't know what... 1552 01:18:37,134 --> 01:18:40,846 Oh, my God! We were having such a nice moment, and you had to ruin it. 1553 01:18:40,930 --> 01:18:41,931 (CHUCKLES) 1554 01:18:42,014 --> 01:18:45,142 Is that what you do in L. A.? Big trial lawyer like the... 1555 01:18:45,226 --> 01:18:47,519 No, I work for a nonprofit. 1556 01:18:48,604 --> 01:18:51,815 Mostly tenants' rights stuff, wrongful evictions. 1557 01:18:51,899 --> 01:18:53,108 Nothing sexy. 1558 01:18:54,568 --> 01:18:55,611 Yeah. Sure. 1559 01:18:56,570 --> 01:18:58,697 I'm just happy that I could help, you know? 1560 01:18:59,782 --> 01:19:00,824 Dex, he... 1561 01:19:02,117 --> 01:19:06,372 He's never really been concerned about enthusiastic consent. 1562 01:19:06,455 --> 01:19:09,291 Just... I couldn't do much last time. 1563 01:19:09,375 --> 01:19:11,085 My friend, he was embarrassed, I think, 1564 01:19:11,168 --> 01:19:13,462 and didn't want us to talk about it, so we didn't. 1565 01:19:13,545 --> 01:19:15,339 And Dex got to keep his image. 1566 01:19:15,798 --> 01:19:18,467 Yeah, well, people will talk about it now. 1567 01:19:18,968 --> 01:19:20,344 I've got a real big mouth. 1568 01:19:20,427 --> 01:19:23,180 I don't know how things work in L. A., but in New York, 1569 01:19:23,264 --> 01:19:24,932 we've ostracized people for way less. 1570 01:19:25,641 --> 01:19:27,101 That's something, at least. 1571 01:19:30,187 --> 01:19:31,188 Hey, um... 1572 01:19:32,106 --> 01:19:34,692 Seriously, thank you. I owe you one. 1573 01:19:40,114 --> 01:19:41,824 Time on Fire Island... 1574 01:19:46,787 --> 01:19:49,540 Sometimes it feels like it stretches on forever. 1575 01:19:56,338 --> 01:19:57,423 LUKE: Hey! 1576 01:19:58,173 --> 01:19:59,258 So, what happened? 1577 01:20:00,175 --> 01:20:01,343 I'll be up in a minute. 1578 01:20:02,094 --> 01:20:03,095 LUKE: Come on. 1579 01:20:06,682 --> 01:20:07,933 Sure you don't wanna come up? 1580 01:20:08,017 --> 01:20:11,437 Yeah, no, I'm not very good at parties. So... 1581 01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:14,273 -What? You're not good at parties? -Uh... 1582 01:20:14,773 --> 01:20:16,942 -Not Will! No. -All right. 1583 01:20:17,026 --> 01:20:19,737 -Not good at parties? What? -Calm down. (CHUCKLES) 1584 01:20:31,623 --> 01:20:33,167 So I pushed him in the pool, 1585 01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:35,336 and he looked up at me and said, "I love you." 1586 01:20:35,419 --> 01:20:37,671 And I said, "You don't know what love is." 1587 01:20:37,755 --> 01:20:39,465 And then I realized, "You're ugly." 1588 01:20:39,548 --> 01:20:41,759 Can't believe you're letting him tell your story. 1589 01:20:41,842 --> 01:20:45,304 Yeah, I think this is just his way of processing things. 1590 01:20:46,805 --> 01:20:47,973 Where did Will go? 1591 01:20:48,432 --> 01:20:49,558 Why would I know that? 1592 01:20:49,641 --> 01:20:52,311 You don't have to do this. You don't have to worry about me. 1593 01:20:52,394 --> 01:20:54,188 You can fuck whoever you want. 1594 01:20:54,271 --> 01:20:57,316 Okay, that is definitely not what I am looking for. 1595 01:20:57,399 --> 01:21:00,152 And by the way, I'm not done worrying about you. 1596 01:21:00,235 --> 01:21:02,863 If I hadn't pushed you, literally pushed you, then... 1597 01:21:02,946 --> 01:21:05,741 I told you, I'm fine with the Charlie of it all. 1598 01:21:05,824 --> 01:21:08,285 -And honestly... -Are you talking about me? 1599 01:21:08,369 --> 01:21:10,829 No. We're talking about our other friend Charlie. 1600 01:21:11,497 --> 01:21:13,457 He died in a fire. 1601 01:21:13,540 --> 01:21:14,917 It's really sad. 1602 01:21:15,167 --> 01:21:17,044 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 1603 01:21:17,294 --> 01:21:19,546 -Ignore him. Did you have fun? -(CHUCKLES) 1604 01:21:19,713 --> 01:21:22,591 I did. Yes. We don't usually go to karaoke. 1605 01:21:22,758 --> 01:21:27,638 Just the parties. So, I was glad that you showed it to me before Rhys... 1606 01:21:27,721 --> 01:21:31,100 Choo-choo, where's my vodka soda? Baby's thirsty. 1607 01:21:31,767 --> 01:21:32,768 Uh... 1608 01:21:32,851 --> 01:21:36,980 Sorry, you guys don't know each other. Rhys, this is Howie and Noah. 1609 01:21:37,064 --> 01:21:40,275 Oh, my God, cute. Boyfriend twins! It's like looking in a mirror. 1610 01:21:40,359 --> 01:21:42,194 CHARLIE: Sweetie, they're not boyfriends. 1611 01:21:42,277 --> 01:21:43,946 Come on, let's go in and dance. 1612 01:21:44,029 --> 01:21:45,989 (WHISPERING) I'm horny, okay? 1613 01:21:46,782 --> 01:21:48,200 CHARLIE: I'll see you guys later? 1614 01:21:48,700 --> 01:21:50,285 -COOPER: Later, hons. -CHARLIE: Bye. 1615 01:21:50,369 --> 01:21:53,872 Yeah, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and scrub my eyeballs out. 1616 01:21:53,956 --> 01:21:55,707 Yeah, probably a good plan. Hey. 1617 01:21:57,042 --> 01:21:59,378 (BOTH MOUTHING) 1618 01:22:01,880 --> 01:22:03,674 You know what? Actually, let's do it later. 1619 01:22:03,757 --> 01:22:04,883 No. We're doing it now. 1620 01:22:07,428 --> 01:22:08,595 -Hey. -Hey. 1621 01:22:08,971 --> 01:22:11,098 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Hey. Um... 1622 01:22:11,390 --> 01:22:12,433 How are you doing? 1623 01:22:13,142 --> 01:22:15,686 Look, you did not have to do that for me before. 1624 01:22:16,562 --> 01:22:17,646 Especially for me, 1625 01:22:17,729 --> 01:22:19,565 'cause I'm such a bitch to you all the time. 1626 01:22:19,648 --> 01:22:22,109 I know we're friends, but things are obviously different... 1627 01:22:22,192 --> 01:22:25,362 It's not even that we're friends, Luke. We're more than that. 1628 01:22:25,446 --> 01:22:29,741 We're family, right? Like, that means something to me. 1629 01:22:29,825 --> 01:22:31,326 Because you two and... 1630 01:22:31,410 --> 01:22:34,746 All you guys, you're, like, all I have. 1631 01:22:38,876 --> 01:22:42,129 Whatever. Are we gonna hug and wrap this up? How does this end? 1632 01:22:42,212 --> 01:22:44,089 Why don't we get fucked up and dance? 1633 01:22:44,923 --> 01:22:46,717 Come on. You're gonna be okay. 1634 01:22:46,800 --> 01:22:48,218 LUKE: Oh, I am? 1635 01:22:48,302 --> 01:22:49,761 -Are we gonna hug? -NOAH: No. 1636 01:22:52,639 --> 01:22:53,640 (GRUNTS) 1637 01:23:00,856 --> 01:23:01,857 What are you doing? 1638 01:23:04,026 --> 01:23:05,027 Don't be mad. 1639 01:23:06,487 --> 01:23:07,821 Howard. 1640 01:23:07,905 --> 01:23:11,533 I can't do it. I can't stay and see him... 1641 01:23:12,659 --> 01:23:14,745 Or see them together like that. 1642 01:23:14,828 --> 01:23:17,372 Oh, my God. You cannot end your vacation because of one guy. 1643 01:23:17,456 --> 01:23:21,668 It's not just about Charlie. It's a lifetime of Charlies. 1644 01:23:23,212 --> 01:23:26,673 I'm 30 and I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been in a relationship. 1645 01:23:26,757 --> 01:23:28,467 -I've never... -We've been through this. 1646 01:23:28,550 --> 01:23:31,345 Monogamy was created by straight people to make us less interesting. 1647 01:23:31,428 --> 01:23:35,432 Yeah, I've heard your TED talk. Listen. Please. 1648 01:23:38,310 --> 01:23:39,311 Okay. 1649 01:23:45,817 --> 01:23:47,402 You're the only person I know 1650 01:23:48,362 --> 01:23:51,365 who understands how shitty it can be sometimes 1651 01:23:52,491 --> 01:23:55,827 to feel unwanted like this. 1652 01:23:57,412 --> 01:23:59,998 And I'm so glad that you've found a way to feel good 1653 01:24:00,082 --> 01:24:03,252 despite all the fucked-up shit we deal with. 1654 01:24:03,710 --> 01:24:07,965 But you think that if you're vulnerable for just one second, 1655 01:24:08,048 --> 01:24:10,259 that it's all gonna come crashing down. 1656 01:24:10,342 --> 01:24:15,430 And maybe that's true for you, but it's not true for me. 1657 01:24:16,974 --> 01:24:18,600 I want to be vulnerable. 1658 01:24:19,643 --> 01:24:21,353 Even if it hurts. 1659 01:24:23,564 --> 01:24:26,525 Your rules, they don't work for me. 1660 01:24:27,818 --> 01:24:31,488 And honestly, I don't know that they're working for you either. 1661 01:24:33,699 --> 01:24:35,701 So let me be sad about this, 1662 01:24:36,743 --> 01:24:40,831 and deal with it and figure it out my own way. 1663 01:24:46,253 --> 01:24:48,964 Yeah, but my way you get to cum a bunch. 1664 01:24:49,047 --> 01:24:52,092 Oh, my God, I'm gonna masturbate so much when I get home. 1665 01:24:53,635 --> 01:24:55,679 What the fuck... (SIGHS) 1666 01:24:56,138 --> 01:24:57,264 When are you leaving? 1667 01:24:57,931 --> 01:24:59,016 Five o'clock ferry. 1668 01:24:59,099 --> 01:25:02,102 Oh, my God, you couldn't even stay for one last sunset? 1669 01:25:02,644 --> 01:25:05,355 This is the last time we're gonna be in our home together. 1670 01:25:05,439 --> 01:25:08,066 Our friendship isn't just limited to this island. 1671 01:25:08,609 --> 01:25:11,111 You know, you've never come to visit me in S. F. 1672 01:25:11,194 --> 01:25:13,113 I'm not flying Spirit for you, bitch. 1673 01:25:13,196 --> 01:25:14,197 (SCOFFS) 1674 01:25:15,282 --> 01:25:16,283 (SNIFFLES) 1675 01:25:18,118 --> 01:25:19,828 -Does Charlie know? -No. 1676 01:25:19,911 --> 01:25:22,164 Probably give me another pity conversation. 1677 01:25:22,247 --> 01:25:25,667 And at this point, it would make me feel even more pathetic. 1678 01:25:25,751 --> 01:25:27,044 Or he could, 1679 01:25:28,086 --> 01:25:30,672 you know, do one of those pre-9/11 rom-com moves, 1680 01:25:30,756 --> 01:25:33,425 you know, where somebody rushes through an airport 1681 01:25:33,508 --> 01:25:35,260 and stops you from getting on the plane. 1682 01:25:35,344 --> 01:25:38,764 And then, you kiss and it's awesome. 1683 01:25:38,972 --> 01:25:41,642 I thought you didn't want the rom-com bullshit for me. 1684 01:25:42,100 --> 01:25:45,228 Babe, all I want is for you to be happy. 1685 01:25:46,063 --> 01:25:47,105 Always. 1686 01:25:50,108 --> 01:25:52,486 Promise me you won't tell Charlie. 1687 01:25:54,196 --> 01:25:55,197 I promise. 1688 01:25:56,156 --> 01:25:57,157 Charlie! 1689 01:25:57,240 --> 01:25:59,034 I mean, you had to see that coming, right? 1690 01:25:59,117 --> 01:26:00,786 -Can we help you? -Help me? Yeah. 1691 01:26:00,869 --> 01:26:03,038 You could get a new fucking line, Braden. Jesus. 1692 01:26:03,246 --> 01:26:05,123 Wait, he's leaving? Why? 1693 01:26:05,207 --> 01:26:06,416 Do you need a hint? 1694 01:26:06,500 --> 01:26:09,961 Okay. Fair. Um, look, the timing of this is just really shitty. 1695 01:26:10,045 --> 01:26:12,547 -Fuck the timing. Go and stop him. -It's not that simple. 1696 01:26:12,631 --> 01:26:15,342 I've known Rhys since before I came out, and I owe him. 1697 01:26:15,425 --> 01:26:19,179 Listen, I get it. I get your whole nice guy schtick, all right? 1698 01:26:19,262 --> 01:26:22,474 But you have the chance at something real with Howie. 1699 01:26:22,557 --> 01:26:24,893 Something great. I don't really get it. 1700 01:26:24,976 --> 01:26:27,229 But what the fuck do I know? I've been wrong before. 1701 01:26:27,312 --> 01:26:28,563 I've been wrong a lot. 1702 01:26:29,022 --> 01:26:33,485 This week, especially, about people and situations and... 1703 01:26:36,571 --> 01:26:39,825 Stuff, okay? Maybe I was even wrong about you. 1704 01:26:39,908 --> 01:26:42,160 Maybe you're not the idiot that I thought you were. 1705 01:26:42,244 --> 01:26:43,745 Prove me wrong. Go and do something, 1706 01:26:43,829 --> 01:26:46,123 because if you fuck this up, it's game over. 1707 01:26:46,206 --> 01:26:48,875 -You won't get another shot. -COOPER: What are you doing? 1708 01:26:48,959 --> 01:26:51,586 -CHARLIE: Howie's leaving. -COOPER: Jesus. Are we still on this? 1709 01:26:51,670 --> 01:26:53,380 Nobody wants to fuck your friend. 1710 01:26:53,463 --> 01:26:56,383 Wait. You think Charlie likes that little Asian guy? 1711 01:26:56,466 --> 01:26:58,802 -Rhys. -I mean, come on. He's joking, right? 1712 01:26:58,885 --> 01:27:00,512 -You're the Amy Schumer one? -Enough. 1713 01:27:00,595 --> 01:27:02,264 -RHYS: But... -CHARLIE: I said, enough. 1714 01:27:02,347 --> 01:27:05,225 -What is wrong with you? -Yeah, I think I get the gist. 1715 01:27:06,435 --> 01:27:08,437 -Noah, I'm sorry. -You know what's funny? 1716 01:27:08,520 --> 01:27:10,063 I am the only person this week 1717 01:27:10,147 --> 01:27:12,566 who stopped to consider whether you deserved him. 1718 01:27:14,317 --> 01:27:15,944 You were right about this place. 1719 01:27:20,782 --> 01:27:23,118 I'm sorry. What is happening? 1720 01:27:30,459 --> 01:27:32,043 It's just not right. 1721 01:27:32,127 --> 01:27:34,713 -HOWIE: You'll barely notice I'm gone. -Not true. 1722 01:27:35,422 --> 01:27:37,340 (SIGHS) Where's Noah? 1723 01:27:37,424 --> 01:27:40,051 Probably taking one of Max's little walks in the Meat Rack. 1724 01:27:40,135 --> 01:27:42,804 For your information, I'm looking at constellations. 1725 01:27:42,888 --> 01:27:44,389 Oh, sweetie, give it a rest. 1726 01:27:44,473 --> 01:27:47,392 We all know you're getting your ass ate in the dunes. 1727 01:27:47,476 --> 01:27:49,394 NOAH: Sorry. Sorry. 1728 01:27:50,020 --> 01:27:52,272 You know me. Always late for the ferry. 1729 01:27:52,856 --> 01:27:54,524 Are you sure this is how you wanna go? 1730 01:27:56,318 --> 01:27:57,402 Yeah. I am. 1731 01:28:01,573 --> 01:28:02,991 Promise I'll come visit you. 1732 01:28:06,161 --> 01:28:07,162 Okay. 1733 01:28:27,557 --> 01:28:29,476 (FERRY BLOWS HORN) 1734 01:28:33,438 --> 01:28:37,776 Why does this feel like... Like the last summer here, like, ever? 1735 01:28:37,859 --> 01:28:39,486 'Cause it is, stupid. (KISSES) 1736 01:28:39,569 --> 01:28:40,862 Couldn't last forever. 1737 01:28:41,571 --> 01:28:43,240 Some things have to change. 1738 01:28:44,908 --> 01:28:46,827 Feels like all the wrong stuff is changing. 1739 01:29:13,979 --> 01:29:14,980 So, what's our plan? 1740 01:29:15,063 --> 01:29:18,275 To sort of stand here sadly in the direct sun all day, or... 1741 01:29:18,358 --> 01:29:20,110 You couldn't even give us a minute. 1742 01:29:20,193 --> 01:29:23,238 I know Howie. He would not want us to sit here and mope on the dock. 1743 01:29:23,321 --> 01:29:25,824 He would want us to do bumps of K by the pool. 1744 01:29:25,907 --> 01:29:27,242 -So let's go. -Fuck! 1745 01:29:27,325 --> 01:29:29,369 Did he get on? Did I miss him? 1746 01:29:29,452 --> 01:29:32,122 -What the fuck are you doing here? Hi. -Hey. 1747 01:29:32,205 --> 01:29:34,833 -I thought I could stop him. -You fucked that one up, buddy. 1748 01:29:34,916 --> 01:29:38,795 -He's halfway to the mainland by now. -So what should I do? Should I call him? 1749 01:29:38,879 --> 01:29:41,965 If you wanted to fix this, you'd have to do something really big, 1750 01:29:42,048 --> 01:29:44,217 something colossally stupid. 1751 01:29:44,301 --> 01:29:45,302 Okay. 1752 01:29:46,219 --> 01:29:48,388 I'm not sure I know what that means. 1753 01:29:48,471 --> 01:29:50,640 I have an idea. Follow me. 1754 01:29:50,724 --> 01:29:51,892 NOAH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1755 01:29:51,975 --> 01:29:53,143 What are you doing? 1756 01:29:53,226 --> 01:29:55,687 Something big. Something stupid. 1757 01:30:00,984 --> 01:30:03,153 I don't think I wanna be implicated in this. 1758 01:30:03,236 --> 01:30:05,739 -(CLICKS TONGUE) Ah. Come on. -(SIGHS) 1759 01:30:24,257 --> 01:30:25,508 ALL: (SHOUTING) Howie! 1760 01:30:25,592 --> 01:30:29,387 Howie! Howie! Howie! 1761 01:30:32,474 --> 01:30:34,017 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 1762 01:30:42,192 --> 01:30:44,027 Don't look over there. Look over here. 1763 01:30:44,110 --> 01:30:46,696 -What am I gonna say when I get there? -You'll figure it out. 1764 01:30:48,239 --> 01:30:49,240 (SIGHS) 1765 01:30:50,867 --> 01:30:53,119 NOAH: Whatever you do, stay on the dock. 1766 01:30:53,203 --> 01:30:55,038 HOWIE: I have a 6:15 train. 1767 01:30:55,121 --> 01:30:57,374 NOAH: I have a feeling you'll wanna hear this. 1768 01:30:57,457 --> 01:30:58,959 HOWIE: Okay, but why all the flags? 1769 01:30:59,042 --> 01:31:00,251 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1770 01:31:00,335 --> 01:31:02,796 Did you steal a water taxi? 1771 01:31:02,879 --> 01:31:05,548 We did. Yeah. There's a really angry lesbian on there. 1772 01:31:05,632 --> 01:31:08,718 Uh, look, I need to say that I'm sorry. 1773 01:31:08,802 --> 01:31:11,179 I'm really, really sorry for everything. 1774 01:31:11,262 --> 01:31:12,514 It's fine, Charlie. I'm fine. 1775 01:31:12,597 --> 01:31:15,225 No, it's not. Everything with Rhys, I... 1776 01:31:15,308 --> 01:31:16,351 I wasn't thinking. 1777 01:31:16,434 --> 01:31:17,852 I thought that I had to... 1778 01:31:18,853 --> 01:31:21,481 It doesn't matter what I thought. I was wrong. 1779 01:31:21,564 --> 01:31:23,900 Okay, Charlie, this is your big rom-com moment. 1780 01:31:23,984 --> 01:31:25,944 You gotta do something big. Something stupid. 1781 01:31:26,236 --> 01:31:27,278 I love you. 1782 01:31:27,362 --> 01:31:30,323 -ALL: Oh! -No. Too big. Too stupid. Dial it back. 1783 01:31:30,407 --> 01:31:32,117 HOWIE: Yeah, it's a little weird. 1784 01:31:32,367 --> 01:31:36,246 -We're not really there yet. -Yeah. Okay. All I'm trying to say is... 1785 01:31:37,747 --> 01:31:39,290 I don't know why this is so hard. 1786 01:31:39,374 --> 01:31:41,334 I gotta catch my shuttle or I'll miss my train. 1787 01:31:41,418 --> 01:31:43,211 No, wait. Okay, look... 1788 01:31:46,006 --> 01:31:47,590 I just need you to know 1789 01:31:48,383 --> 01:31:51,469 how fucking incredible I think that you are. 1790 01:31:53,013 --> 01:31:55,932 You are the most interesting man I have ever met, 1791 01:31:56,808 --> 01:31:59,978 and the funniest, and you're beautiful. 1792 01:32:02,063 --> 01:32:04,566 And I really, really like you. 1793 01:32:07,402 --> 01:32:09,988 I just wanted you to know that before you left. 1794 01:32:10,822 --> 01:32:12,240 And Noah said a bunch of stuff... 1795 01:32:12,323 --> 01:32:16,578 Oh, Jesus, please don't ever, ever listen to Noah. 1796 01:32:17,829 --> 01:32:18,872 Now you tell me. 1797 01:32:22,292 --> 01:32:24,627 You actually stole a boat for me? 1798 01:32:25,253 --> 01:32:27,213 I actually stole a boat for you. 1799 01:32:29,883 --> 01:32:31,217 (ALL CHEERING) 1800 01:32:45,648 --> 01:32:48,735 Okay, can we go to Cherry Grove now? 1801 01:32:48,818 --> 01:32:51,029 We will get there when we get there. 1802 01:33:02,749 --> 01:33:03,750 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1803 01:33:20,225 --> 01:33:23,269 NOAH: This whole time we were so worried about the house, 1804 01:33:24,562 --> 01:33:27,315 but it's never been about the house. 1805 01:33:29,567 --> 01:33:31,319 It's always been about the people. 1806 01:33:32,445 --> 01:33:33,530 We'll be fine. 1807 01:33:34,989 --> 01:33:36,241 We'll make new memories. 1808 01:33:38,243 --> 01:33:39,661 But when I look back on the years 1809 01:33:39,744 --> 01:33:42,080 I got to spend with my family on Fire Island... 1810 01:33:46,000 --> 01:33:47,377 This is what I'll remember. 1811 01:33:47,460 --> 01:33:49,170 (INAUDIBLE) 1812 01:34:08,648 --> 01:34:10,567 (NOAH BREATHES DEEPLY) 1813 01:34:12,360 --> 01:34:13,695 Today was a lot. 1814 01:34:13,778 --> 01:34:15,572 (BOTH LAUGH) 1815 01:34:16,489 --> 01:34:17,532 WILL: Yeah. 1816 01:34:18,491 --> 01:34:21,911 All that drama for what? Somebody you met five days ago. 1817 01:34:21,995 --> 01:34:24,622 Yeah, 'cause, I mean, what happens now? 1818 01:34:24,706 --> 01:34:27,500 Howie goes back to S. F., the Pines bubble bursts. 1819 01:34:27,876 --> 01:34:30,211 Then six months from now, they'll probably just be... 1820 01:34:30,295 --> 01:34:31,379 In love. 1821 01:34:32,797 --> 01:34:34,716 Maybe even happy. 1822 01:34:37,760 --> 01:34:40,263 Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. 1823 01:34:40,346 --> 01:34:41,347 (CHUCKLES) 1824 01:34:41,639 --> 01:34:45,059 You know, I think that's what Howie always wanted out of these trips. 1825 01:34:45,143 --> 01:34:48,813 Come out here, meet some vacation boyfriend. 1826 01:34:48,897 --> 01:34:50,648 Lug him back to the real world. 1827 01:34:54,319 --> 01:34:55,445 What about you? 1828 01:34:57,363 --> 01:34:58,489 What do you want? 1829 01:35:01,826 --> 01:35:03,953 You know, it's so weird, I... 1830 01:35:04,037 --> 01:35:07,248 My whole life, I felt like I've had everything figured out, 1831 01:35:07,332 --> 01:35:08,750 everybody, 1832 01:35:08,833 --> 01:35:12,629 and then I come out here and I just keep getting thrown, you know? 1833 01:35:12,712 --> 01:35:16,424 It's like, God, have I been wrong about everything this week? 1834 01:35:17,842 --> 01:35:20,970 It feels longer, doesn't it? It's like time works... 1835 01:35:21,721 --> 01:35:23,389 It just works differently here. 1836 01:35:24,015 --> 01:35:25,767 Does that sound crazy? 1837 01:35:28,061 --> 01:35:29,062 Little bit. 1838 01:35:32,357 --> 01:35:34,067 What about you? What do you want? 1839 01:35:34,776 --> 01:35:37,070 You probably want some gay marriage nightmare. 1840 01:35:37,278 --> 01:35:39,781 Joint Instagram accounts, a French bulldog. 1841 01:35:39,864 --> 01:35:40,990 God, no! It's... 1842 01:35:41,991 --> 01:35:43,701 I don't think monogamy is for me. 1843 01:35:46,329 --> 01:35:47,830 Yeah. I mean, same. 1844 01:35:49,499 --> 01:35:51,167 And I don't really like dogs. 1845 01:35:51,251 --> 01:35:52,669 (CHUCKLES) 1846 01:35:54,337 --> 01:35:56,631 Okay. So, what do you want? 1847 01:36:02,679 --> 01:36:03,721 I want that. 1848 01:36:10,311 --> 01:36:12,939 All right. You asked me what I wanted. 1849 01:36:13,022 --> 01:36:15,066 -Dance with me. -What? 1850 01:36:15,149 --> 01:36:17,402 You've already run away from me once this week. 1851 01:36:17,485 --> 01:36:20,863 I don't know if my pride could handle it if it happened again. 1852 01:36:20,947 --> 01:36:22,031 -Will. -Noah. 1853 01:36:23,199 --> 01:36:25,785 Listen, I just, um... I really like my freedom. 1854 01:36:25,868 --> 01:36:27,495 That's like a big thing with me. 1855 01:36:27,578 --> 01:36:30,581 And I just, I'm doing really, really, really well on my own 1856 01:36:30,665 --> 01:36:32,917 and the whole falling-in-love-with-romance thing 1857 01:36:33,001 --> 01:36:35,586 is really stupid. And, of course, we'd have great sex. 1858 01:36:35,670 --> 01:36:38,172 I mean, look at us. But the... I'm not right for you. 1859 01:36:38,256 --> 01:36:41,092 And you're definitely not right for me and it... 1860 01:36:41,175 --> 01:36:42,385 Hey, it's just a dance. 1861 01:36:43,594 --> 01:36:44,679 Yeah, but then what? 1862 01:36:45,638 --> 01:36:46,806 Guess we'll find out. 1863 01:36:50,601 --> 01:36:51,602 Okay. 1864 01:36:54,897 --> 01:36:55,898 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1865 01:36:55,982 --> 01:36:57,692 (SLOW DISCO MUSIC INTRO PLAYING) 1866 01:37:45,865 --> 01:37:52,830 'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad... 1867 01:37:52,997 --> 01:37:56,334 HOWIE: Excuse me. I need a moment with my sister. 1868 01:37:56,834 --> 01:37:58,252 -Of course. -(BOTH LAUGH) 1869 01:37:58,336 --> 01:38:00,129 (DISCO MUSIC TEMPO QUICKENS) 1870 01:38:00,213 --> 01:38:02,548 (ALL CHEERING AND WHOOPING) 1871 01:38:16,437 --> 01:38:18,064 ALL: Do it! 1872 01:38:18,189 --> 01:38:19,774 (ALL CHEER AND LAUGH) 1873 01:39:04,444 --> 01:39:09,240 (VOCALIZING) 1874 01:44:14,420 --> 01:44:16,589 -NOAH: Guys. Look alive. It's happening. -ERIN: Oh! 1875 01:44:16,756 --> 01:44:18,007 -LUKE: Okay. -NOAH: All right. 1876 01:44:18,090 --> 01:44:21,761 ALL: Ten! Nine! Eight! 1877 01:44:21,844 --> 01:44:25,598 Seven! Six! Five! 1878 01:44:25,681 --> 01:44:26,807 LUKE: Five! 1879 01:44:26,891 --> 01:44:29,143 ALL: Four! 1880 01:44:29,226 --> 01:44:31,937 Three! 1881 01:44:32,438 --> 01:44:35,733 Two! 1882 01:44:35,816 --> 01:44:37,610 One! 1883 01:44:37,693 --> 01:44:38,819 One-point-five. 1884 01:44:38,903 --> 01:44:41,864 -One-point-five. -One-point-five. 1885 01:44:41,947 --> 01:44:44,325 One. 1886 01:44:44,408 --> 01:44:48,454 Point nine, point eight, 1887 01:44:48,537 --> 01:44:52,166 point seven, point six, point five, point four, point three... 1888 01:44:52,249 --> 01:44:54,084 (ALL CHEERING) 1889 01:44:55,544 --> 01:44:58,964 NOAH: Oh, my God. Flawless countdown. 1890 01:44:59,048 --> 01:45:01,926 -KEEGAN: She does the job every day. -NOAH: You're welcome, everyone.