1 00:00:01,711 --> 00:00:03,672 LUKE: All right, girls, what we rehearsed. 2 00:00:03,755 --> 00:00:06,132 -MAN: Drums. -(SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES FANFARE PLAYING) 3 00:00:08,927 --> 00:00:11,346 (ALL VOCALIZING SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES FANFARE) 4 00:00:13,848 --> 00:00:16,476 -MAN: Hey. -(VOCALIZING CONTINUES) 5 00:00:18,645 --> 00:00:20,689 (ALL VOCALIZING OFF KEY) 6 00:00:24,359 --> 00:00:26,194 KEEGAN: Girl, we sound mad good. 7 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:30,198 -(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) -MAN: She's an icon. 8 00:00:30,282 --> 00:00:31,616 She's a legend. 9 00:00:32,242 --> 00:00:33,451 She's an icon. 10 00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:35,537 She's a legend. 11 00:00:35,912 --> 00:00:38,081 NOAH: "It is a truth universally acknowledged 12 00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:40,917 "that a single man in possession of a good fortune 13 00:00:41,001 --> 00:00:43,128 "must be in want of a wife." 14 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:46,881 You know who said that? Jane Austen, the queen. 15 00:00:46,965 --> 00:00:48,341 Fucking shit. 16 00:00:50,552 --> 00:00:53,263 Pretty dope way to start a story, right? (CHUCKLES) 17 00:00:53,346 --> 00:00:57,350 Well, no offense to my girl, Jane, but that sounds like some hetero nonsense. 18 00:00:58,268 --> 00:01:01,313 Listen, I don't know much about a good fortune, 19 00:01:01,396 --> 00:01:05,442 but not every single man is looking for a wife. 20 00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:06,651 Hey. 21 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,236 Oh. 22 00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:09,988 Hey, you. 23 00:01:10,739 --> 00:01:12,616 You're still here, which is awesome. 24 00:01:12,699 --> 00:01:15,410 -Except, um, you have to leave. -Sorry, what? 25 00:01:15,493 --> 00:01:17,621 No, listen, last night was fun. 26 00:01:17,704 --> 00:01:19,706 -(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) -MAN: She's an icon. 27 00:01:19,831 --> 00:01:21,583 But seriously, you gotta go. 28 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:26,838 Yeah, I know that looked a little harsh, but he had boyfriend energy, 29 00:01:26,963 --> 00:01:28,423 and that is just not me. 30 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:31,217 Besides, this week is sacred. 31 00:01:31,301 --> 00:01:34,220 We're going to Fire Island. It's like gay Disney World. 32 00:01:34,304 --> 00:01:35,430 Fun for the whole family... 33 00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:36,765 LUKE: Come on. Hurry up! 34 00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:40,894 -...except when I say family... -Get on the boat! 35 00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:43,063 -I think about those faggots. -HOWIE: Let's go! 36 00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:45,649 NOAH: Please don't cancel me. I'm reclaiming it. 37 00:01:45,732 --> 00:01:48,109 To me, it just means, um, sisters. 38 00:01:48,193 --> 00:01:51,279 -Stupid bitch, Noah. Every year. -NOAH: I made it, didn't I? 39 00:01:51,363 --> 00:01:53,907 -How? You missed every train. -I took a Lyft. 40 00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:56,868 What, from Bushwick? What is that? Like, a $300 ride? 41 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,663 -How are you paying for this? -You finally start a OnlyFans? 42 00:01:59,746 --> 00:02:01,164 It's called a credit card, idiot. 43 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:03,416 You've literally never made a student loan payment, 44 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:04,959 who would give you a credit card? 45 00:02:05,043 --> 00:02:07,253 Amanda at Forever 21. 46 00:02:07,337 --> 00:02:08,338 -Amanda. -Oh, my God. 47 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:09,839 NOAH: So, yeah, we're poor. 48 00:02:09,923 --> 00:02:11,049 Not, like, poor-poor, 49 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:14,969 but poor as in none of us have a chance in hell of buying property, ever? 50 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,888 But this is what brought us together. 51 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,556 We all met almost ten years ago 52 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,434 working at the same cursed brunch spot in Williamsburg. 53 00:02:21,518 --> 00:02:24,270 Bottomless mimosas, bitches! 54 00:02:24,354 --> 00:02:25,730 (LAUGHS) 55 00:02:25,939 --> 00:02:28,024 NOAH: Back then, we were broke queers, 56 00:02:28,108 --> 00:02:30,902 subsisting off of predatory student loans and brunch tips. 57 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:31,986 LUKE: Come here, baby. 58 00:02:32,529 --> 00:02:34,531 -NOAH: That's Luke and Keegan. -Oh! That's good. 59 00:02:34,614 --> 00:02:35,990 NOAH: They met in theater school. 60 00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:38,493 They were both eventually kicked out of the program, 61 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,620 but they're still convinced they're stars. 62 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:41,996 LUKE: Yes! 63 00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:43,998 NOAH: There's sweet Max. 64 00:02:44,249 --> 00:02:45,625 Can you guys be a little quiet? 65 00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:48,294 NOAH: Super smart, but he can be a little uptight. 66 00:02:48,837 --> 00:02:51,214 He claims he doesn't come on this trip to hook up, 67 00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:53,717 but he puts out in the Meat Rack just like the rest of us. 68 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,218 It's really coming together. 69 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:57,429 NOAH: And then there's Howie. 70 00:02:57,637 --> 00:02:59,764 The best of us on almost every level. 71 00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:01,433 He deserted me a few years ago 72 00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:03,768 for some cush start-up job in San Francisco, 73 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:06,771 but he still makes it back every year for this trip. 74 00:03:06,855 --> 00:03:09,190 Our bond goes a little deeper than everyone else's 75 00:03:09,274 --> 00:03:13,403 for complex, spiritual reasons. And, well... 76 00:03:13,987 --> 00:03:16,614 MAN: Jackie Chan, hey. Can I get another refill here, bud? 77 00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:19,909 NOAH: All the obvious ones, too. 78 00:03:23,830 --> 00:03:25,915 Yeah, well, looks like it's that time. 79 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,752 A lot of people on Twitter think 80 00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:30,545 body positivity has actually gone too far. 81 00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:31,629 Uh-huh. 82 00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:34,466 Why would you conform to this community's toxic body standards? 83 00:03:34,549 --> 00:03:36,760 Whatever. I'm still invisible to most of these people. 84 00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:40,096 -What does that make me? -No fats, no fems, no Asians. 85 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:42,098 Noah, you still two out of the three. 86 00:03:42,182 --> 00:03:44,392 NOAH: Bitchy, yes, but not wrong. 87 00:03:44,476 --> 00:03:48,062 In our community, money isn't the only form of currency. 88 00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:51,065 Race, masculinity, abs, 89 00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:53,735 just few of the metrics we use to separate ourselves 90 00:03:53,818 --> 00:03:55,570 into upper and lower classes. 91 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,114 Of course, I don't care about all that shit, but, 92 00:03:58,782 --> 00:04:01,326 what can I say? I'm a class traitor. 93 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,454 And this why straight people hate us. 94 00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:09,501 I mean, also, heteronormativity, Judeo-Christian pathology, anal. 95 00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:11,628 Whatever. Who cares what they think? 96 00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:13,713 We're not gonna see one for a fucking week. 97 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,591 -(KEEGAN AND HOWIE GASP) -Whoo! 98 00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,176 (GASPS) Ah! 99 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:19,385 -Yes! -(ALL CHEERING) 100 00:04:19,469 --> 00:04:22,096 (INDIE POP MUSIC PLAYING) 101 00:04:46,663 --> 00:04:48,289 (ALL CHEERING) 102 00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,850 I forgot how far away the house is. 103 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,393 -Hey. -Hi, guys. 104 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,477 Hey. 105 00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:12,856 -Stop being weird. -Okay, it's a nice human gesture. 106 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:17,569 Hey. How are you guys? 107 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:19,487 -(MAN 1 LAUGHS) -MAN 2: No, thanks. 108 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,907 This place is so toxic. 109 00:05:22,991 --> 00:05:25,243 Why? Because of those guys? Fuck them. 110 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:28,329 As far as I'm concerned, we are the hottest people here. 111 00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:31,666 Luke's right. Why would you say hello to someone you don't wanna fuck? 112 00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:34,460 NOAH: Because fucking isn't the only reason some people come here. 113 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:36,880 No, that is the only reason that you come here. 114 00:05:36,963 --> 00:05:39,632 No, I also come here to read. I contain multitudes. 115 00:05:39,716 --> 00:05:42,260 She thinks that makes her less of a whore than the rest of us. 116 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,137 No, I just know who I am, that's empowering. 117 00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,889 Besides, anybody can fuck on Fire Island. 118 00:05:45,972 --> 00:05:47,015 -(HOWIE SCOFFS) -Okay, 119 00:05:47,098 --> 00:05:48,766 the only reason you don't is because... 120 00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:51,311 I'm sorry, that was an involuntary response. 121 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,645 I'm fine. Seriously. 122 00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:57,317 MAX: It's actually a logistical nightmare to fuck on this island. 123 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,445 At least, if you wanna do it indoors, you know, no privacy anywhere. 124 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,488 That's what the outdoors are for, girl. 125 00:06:02,572 --> 00:06:03,865 Ew, have you heard of ticks? 126 00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:06,159 Okay, how about their best friend? Lyme disease. 127 00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:07,243 -No. -MAX: I'm serious. 128 00:06:07,327 --> 00:06:10,788 Bitch! I knew I smelled some bottoms. 129 00:06:10,872 --> 00:06:12,498 (ALL LAUGH) 130 00:06:12,624 --> 00:06:13,958 -You bitch. -Little bitch! 131 00:06:14,918 --> 00:06:16,502 NOAH: And that is Erin. 132 00:06:16,878 --> 00:06:19,213 The last member of our makeshift little family. 133 00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:24,093 Career brunch server, age unknown, lesbian scam queen. 134 00:06:24,177 --> 00:06:25,678 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 135 00:06:25,762 --> 00:06:29,223 Five years ago, she made a mini fortune after she ate a piece of glass 136 00:06:29,307 --> 00:06:32,518 at a major Italian chain restaurant and won a huge settlement. 137 00:06:34,312 --> 00:06:37,273 She even got a little tattoo above her vagina that says, 138 00:06:37,357 --> 00:06:39,067 "All-you-can-eat salad." 139 00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:40,902 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 140 00:06:42,153 --> 00:06:44,197 -LUKE: Come on, Keegan, let's go, baby. -Okay! 141 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,951 NOAH: First thing she did with the money was buy a little house on the island. 142 00:06:48,034 --> 00:06:50,161 She invites us to stay with her every year. 143 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,038 ERIN: Welcome home, little chickadees. 144 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,748 LUKE: Cover it with your whole body. 145 00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:54,832 KEEGAN: This is ours. 146 00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:57,043 LUKE: Baby, use your mass. Plan this shit, girl. 147 00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,670 NOAH: In exchange, we let her believe 148 00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:01,339 she's the closest thing any of us have to a mother. 149 00:07:02,632 --> 00:07:04,968 (SIGHS) It feels like it gets smaller every year. 150 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:07,261 Are you kidding me? It's perfect. 151 00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:09,347 For me at least, it's sort of true. 152 00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:10,473 Welcome home. 153 00:07:14,978 --> 00:07:15,979 (BOTTLE POPS) 154 00:07:16,145 --> 00:07:17,146 (NOAH CHUCKLES) 155 00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:25,029 Coming here was a mistake. 156 00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:27,448 I can't believe you talked me into this again. 157 00:07:27,532 --> 00:07:31,119 What the fuck are you talking about? I only see you on FaceTime now. 158 00:07:31,202 --> 00:07:33,955 No, I'm serious. We used to come here to be... 159 00:07:34,038 --> 00:07:36,666 -Gay and stupid. -(BOTH CHUCKLE) 160 00:07:36,749 --> 00:07:38,459 And now... 161 00:07:38,543 --> 00:07:41,129 I come here, I just feel terminally alone. 162 00:07:41,212 --> 00:07:43,840 Alone? Look around. We're literally swimming in dick. 163 00:07:43,923 --> 00:07:48,428 No, I don't mean like that. I mean, like, existentially lonely. 164 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:51,055 I mean, here, in S. F., I've never had a boyfriend. 165 00:07:51,139 --> 00:07:52,265 (SCOFFS) Oh, God. 166 00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:54,726 Monogamy industrial complex rears its ugly head. 167 00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:57,478 I've never had a boyfriend either and I'm fuckin' awesome. 168 00:07:57,562 --> 00:07:59,939 -Yeah, well, I'm not you. -You could be. 169 00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:01,941 You just have to get laid once in a while. 170 00:08:02,025 --> 00:08:04,444 -Oh, fuck off. -No, I'm serious. I mean, why not? 171 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:05,987 You're cute, you're funny, 172 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:09,115 you're consistently the least repellent to men out of all of us. 173 00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,783 I mean, let me be your wingman. 174 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:14,412 Everybody should fuck on Fire Island at least once. It's like our birthright. 175 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,539 Why is this so important to you? 176 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,916 -Oh, my God, you've never had sex. -Noah. 177 00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:21,836 Fine. 178 00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:25,089 Do you remember when we met? 179 00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:29,010 I was, like, a completely different person back then. 180 00:08:29,093 --> 00:08:32,513 Felt invisible all the time, I was miserable. 181 00:08:32,597 --> 00:08:36,851 And then we came out here. And, I don't know, something clicked. 182 00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:41,105 You know, I realized how much power I was giving away to other people 183 00:08:41,189 --> 00:08:44,650 to make me feel a certain way and I took it all back. 184 00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:50,198 Started to do some self-improvement, and my whole life changed. 185 00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,201 Babe, you don't need a boyfriend. 186 00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:55,703 You need to learn how to protect yourself more, 187 00:08:55,787 --> 00:08:58,164 'cause this romance bullshit is making you vulnerable, 188 00:08:58,247 --> 00:08:59,499 you're like an open wound. 189 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,501 Yeah, but I want the romance bullshit. 190 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:05,463 I like the rom-com stuff, like, kissing in the rain 191 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:09,759 and standing outside my window with a boombox 192 00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:13,429 or confessing things in a gazebo. What's wrong with that? 193 00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:16,599 Nothing, it's just shit like that doesn't happen in real life. 194 00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:20,061 The only real thing is you and me. 195 00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:21,938 Fuck the rest. 196 00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:31,114 Fine. If you're so invested in this, I will try and get laid. 197 00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:32,240 Yes! 198 00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:34,909 But I have to be attracted to him. 199 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:37,537 -He has to be nice to me. -Okay. 200 00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,956 And no weird fetishes. I'm not letting some guy 201 00:09:40,039 --> 00:09:42,792 stick his foot in my ass just so I can say I got some. 202 00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:46,212 Okay, a little kink-shamey, but point taken. (CHUCKLES) 203 00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:47,421 No settling. 204 00:09:47,505 --> 00:09:51,509 You are gonna have missionary, 205 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,428 vanilla sex with the man of... 206 00:09:54,512 --> 00:09:57,098 -Men of your dreams. -Oh. 207 00:09:57,181 --> 00:10:01,102 And, literally, I'm not even gonna look at another guy till you get laid, okay? 208 00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:04,564 I'm serious. My only mission this week is to make sure you're happy, 209 00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:07,400 that you know I know everything and that I'm always right. 210 00:10:07,483 --> 00:10:09,527 Yeah, that definitely won't come back to fuck me. 211 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,987 -Cheers. -Cheers. 212 00:10:11,821 --> 00:10:13,489 When is she gonna do what she said? 213 00:10:13,573 --> 00:10:15,992 Put in a hot tub. They know now that they kill STIs. 214 00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:17,702 That's just a known fact in science. 215 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,954 KEEGAN: Yeah, you're putting our health at risk. 216 00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:21,873 Are you guys complaining right now? 217 00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:24,458 We're literally in paradise. Let's go talk to cute boys. 218 00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:26,502 (EXCLAIMS) I think I just saw a tick in my room. 219 00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:27,628 (ALL GASP) 220 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,967 -HOWIE: No! -LUKE: That's dumb. 221 00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:41,559 Okay. You know what? This is a good thing. 222 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:45,980 This is, um... This is a positive development for me. 223 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,690 Don't try and spin this. 224 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:50,359 It'll give you the opportunity to unplug from social media. 225 00:10:50,443 --> 00:10:52,111 -What will I look at when I shit? -(GAGS) 226 00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:53,279 Did you get AppleCare? 227 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:56,240 Dad says if you don't get AppleCare, you only have yourself to blame. 228 00:10:56,324 --> 00:10:59,493 What about me having an iPhone 6 Plus in 2022 229 00:10:59,577 --> 00:11:01,495 makes you think I can afford AppleCare? 230 00:11:01,621 --> 00:11:03,748 Girl, just get Mommy Erin to buy you a new one. 231 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:05,124 Don't be gross. 232 00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:09,170 Unless you can. I mean, if you... Never mind. 233 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:11,923 -I'm just kidding. That was just a joke. -Oh, no. 234 00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:14,050 It's not about the phone. (SNIFFLES) 235 00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,176 It's everything. 236 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:18,221 Girls, I have some terrible news. 237 00:11:19,096 --> 00:11:20,765 (CLICKS TONGUE) We're broke. 238 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,975 What? How is that possible? 239 00:11:23,059 --> 00:11:25,353 You know me, I've never been good with money. 240 00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:27,313 I was an early investor in Quibi. 241 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,941 This house is the only good investment I ever made. 242 00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:32,235 Which is why I have to sell it. 243 00:11:32,318 --> 00:11:34,487 -You're not. -HOWIE: Sell the house? 244 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,530 -It's my home. -MAX: This doesn't make sense. 245 00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:38,824 -Girl, I'm sorry. -Oh, my God. 246 00:11:38,908 --> 00:11:41,160 -This is our last summer. -Just stop. 247 00:11:41,244 --> 00:11:44,121 Don't be ridiculous. The island's always gonna be here. 248 00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:46,916 -Except the whole climate change thing. -Okay. 249 00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,334 You don't need me. 250 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:49,543 Yeah, I do. 251 00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:52,797 I mean, personally, I need all of you... 252 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:56,300 It wouldn't be the same if we didn't come together. 253 00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,929 -You're gonna make me cry. -Don't cry. 254 00:12:01,931 --> 00:12:04,558 Okay, enough. Enough of this. It's all right. 255 00:12:04,642 --> 00:12:06,936 We still have this week. 256 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:12,108 So, let's pull ourselves together and get ready for tea. 257 00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:13,651 -LUKE: Let's go get to tea. -Okay. 258 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,903 -MAX: You're right. -KEEGAN: We're doing tea. 259 00:12:15,987 --> 00:12:16,988 LUKE: One week. 260 00:12:17,071 --> 00:12:19,323 Can I trade a Crest Whitestrip for a PrEP pill? 261 00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:21,951 -HOWIE: I got you. -LUKE: I need to change the mood. 262 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,546 NOAH: Guess I better make this week count, huh? 263 00:12:36,549 --> 00:12:39,427 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 264 00:12:45,057 --> 00:12:46,434 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 265 00:12:50,438 --> 00:12:54,108 NOAH: Back when it was all but illegal for us to exist, the "Tea Dance," 266 00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,444 as it was called back then, was a discreet way for us 267 00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:58,988 to gather and dance without getting arrested. 268 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:03,784 Tea has evolved a lot since those early days. 269 00:13:04,994 --> 00:13:06,746 But when it comes to sex, 270 00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:10,207 some things never change. 271 00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:15,254 Are you guys seriously on Grindr right now? 272 00:13:15,338 --> 00:13:17,506 -Look where we are. -Okay, Miss Bitch. 273 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,759 If you had a phone, you'd be Grind-ing as well. 274 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,720 This isn't what the Gay Liberation Front envisioned for us. 275 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,597 Other than the Charli XCX remix, 276 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,640 this is exactly what they envisioned for us. 277 00:13:26,724 --> 00:13:29,185 Seriously, what is the point of Gay Liberation 278 00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:33,272 if we can't feel a little liberated? 279 00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:34,607 NOAH: She's spinning! 280 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:35,858 (ALL CHEERING) 281 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,735 The season has begun! 282 00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:39,278 Twirl! 283 00:13:39,362 --> 00:13:40,529 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 284 00:13:40,613 --> 00:13:42,156 HOWIE: Spinning! 285 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,785 NOAH: Don't look now, 286 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,871 but I think this guy over here is a little obsessed with you. 287 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,164 What? Him? 288 00:13:51,624 --> 00:13:54,085 -ERIN: Who you looking at? -Are we checking someone out? 289 00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:56,796 KEEGAN: Oh, my God. Back it up, I'll take all three. 290 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,882 Yeah, they can definitely tell we're looking at them now. 291 00:14:02,218 --> 00:14:03,719 (GASPS) Did he just wave? 292 00:14:03,803 --> 00:14:05,137 Yeah. And smiled. 293 00:14:05,221 --> 00:14:07,348 That wouldn't be settling, right? Be right back. 294 00:14:07,431 --> 00:14:10,017 -What are you doing? -Getting us a couple of drinks. 295 00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:12,353 Girl, they are hot. 296 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,105 NOAH: I don't wanna push too hard, 297 00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:17,066 but the sooner Howie lets go of his insecurities and gets laid, 298 00:14:17,149 --> 00:14:18,526 the sooner I can get laid. 299 00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:23,572 -Hey. -Howdy. 300 00:14:23,656 --> 00:14:25,241 Oh, God. Hi. 301 00:14:25,324 --> 00:14:27,952 Couldn't help notice you lookin' at me earlier. 302 00:14:28,494 --> 00:14:31,872 -(CHUCKLES) No. I wasn't looking at you. -I'm Moses. Are you Korean? 303 00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:34,125 You look Korean. I have a sense. 304 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,419 Let me get your drink. 305 00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:39,922 No. My boyfriend here, he's gonna... He's gonna grab it for us. 306 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,633 I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand what's going on. 307 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:43,759 Honey. 308 00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:46,637 Are you Filipino? You look Filipino. 309 00:14:48,097 --> 00:14:49,140 I'm gonna go. 310 00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:53,102 Two Shirley Temples, please. 311 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:56,439 Okay, somebody else has to go and get the drinks. 312 00:14:56,522 --> 00:14:59,233 -What are we looking at? -Erin found that guy's Instagram. 313 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:00,734 Okay, that's frightening. 314 00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:02,027 I hope he's cool though, 315 00:15:02,111 --> 00:15:04,780 'cause his friend turned out to be kind of a dud! 316 00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:06,907 Private Instagram? What's he hiding? 317 00:15:06,991 --> 00:15:10,286 We know his name is Charlie, and he's got a dog emoji 318 00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:13,664 and a plant emoji and a stethoscope emoji. What a riddle. 319 00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:16,375 We'll solve that later 'cause they're leaving. 320 00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:17,918 -What are you doing? -Trust me. 321 00:15:18,002 --> 00:15:19,253 Said that he was cute. 322 00:15:20,129 --> 00:15:22,214 HOWIE: Noah, it's fine. (GRUNTS) 323 00:15:22,298 --> 00:15:24,258 -ERIN: Oh, my God. -LUKE: She fell. 324 00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,677 What is your fucking problem? 325 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,387 Whoa. Are you all right? 326 00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:31,348 It's fine. It happens... 327 00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:32,892 All the time. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 328 00:15:33,309 --> 00:15:34,643 Does it really? 329 00:15:34,727 --> 00:15:36,604 You must have very strong bones. 330 00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:39,273 Just my knees, I guess. 331 00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:41,984 Oh, God. 332 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,695 Oh, God, that does not sound right. (CHUCKLES) Sorry. 333 00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:49,158 Um, were you guys going? Because we were gonna catch the sunset. 334 00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:50,910 So weird. We were, too. 335 00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:53,496 Oh, great. I'm Charlie, by the way. 336 00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:54,830 -We know. -What? 337 00:15:54,914 --> 00:15:56,540 NOAH: Never mind. Just keep walking. 338 00:15:57,958 --> 00:16:01,170 Uh, do you want some whiskey? It would help with your knees. 339 00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:03,714 -You can trust me. I'm a doctor. -(YELLS) 340 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,683 CHARLIE: ...look like they're strawberries. 341 00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:16,393 -You know? -That's a classic. 342 00:16:16,477 --> 00:16:17,478 What are those called? 343 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,021 -Strawberries. -They are good. 344 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:21,482 NOAH: Look at those two. Absolutely perfect. 345 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,818 Except for one small thing. 346 00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:26,737 Hey, sorry. What do you do again? 347 00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:30,908 NOAH: The friends. That's problem number one. 348 00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,994 I do graphic design for this start-up. 349 00:16:34,078 --> 00:16:37,665 NOAH: Cooper, who told us immediately that he's a brand manager. 350 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:38,791 Whatever that is. 351 00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:42,753 And I'm a big, powerful lawyer like Christine Baranski in The Good Wife. 352 00:16:43,546 --> 00:16:44,588 Seriously? 353 00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:46,966 No. Christine is the only lawyer I trust. 354 00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,676 The rest of them are all pretty evil. 355 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,845 Oh. Uh, actually, Will is a lawyer. 356 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,974 NOAH: Problem number two. Will. 357 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:59,311 He's from L. A., super rich, and thinks he's way better than all of us. 358 00:16:59,395 --> 00:17:00,896 Uh, my bad. Sorry. 359 00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:04,316 I'm just a nurse, you know? 360 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,944 Essential services. Saving lives. 361 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:10,781 -Uh, what concentration? Trauma... -Oh, no. Free clinic for gay sluts. 362 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,658 I mostly just weigh people 363 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:15,286 and steal doxycycline for prophylactic purposes. 364 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:18,622 -Oh, my God, it's starting. Look alive. -Okay. 365 00:17:18,706 --> 00:17:22,793 ALL: Ten... Nine... Eight... 366 00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:26,922 Seven... Six... Five... 367 00:17:27,006 --> 00:17:28,632 -Five... -Five... 368 00:17:28,716 --> 00:17:30,217 LUKE: Five... 369 00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:32,678 -Four... -Four, point five... 370 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,389 ALL: Three... 371 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:38,017 -Two... -(ERIN SQUEALS) 372 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,644 One... 373 00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:44,773 -Point nine... -Point nine... 374 00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:47,443 -Point eight... -Point seven... 375 00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:49,445 -Point six... -Point five... 376 00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:51,113 -Point four... -Point three... 377 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,573 Point two... 378 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,658 (ALL CHEERING) 379 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,578 MAX: That was better than last time. 380 00:17:57,661 --> 00:18:00,831 -I'm proud of you, girl. You set. -Congratulations, everyone. 381 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,041 (CHUCKLES) 382 00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:05,169 -We love her. Love that girl. -I'll see you tomorrow, girl. 383 00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:07,421 Um, it's just a stupid bit we like to do. 384 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,673 (CHUCKLES) It's funny. You're funny. 385 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:17,765 Well, it was nice meeting you, and I'll see you around the island. 386 00:18:17,848 --> 00:18:19,058 Yeah, totally. 387 00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:24,396 What the fuck are you doing? Wanna get fucked or not? 388 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,481 I mean, not really. 389 00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:28,651 Plus, he's, like, a super-hot doctor. And I'm... 390 00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:32,071 Do not finish that sentence. You are a prize to be won, okay? 391 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,947 So get over there, seal the deal. 392 00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:35,407 -(BOTH GRUNT) -Sorry. 393 00:18:35,783 --> 00:18:37,034 Wow. Um... 394 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:41,205 Hey, would you boys like to come to sort of like an after-party at ours? 395 00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:42,706 It's very chill, just like 396 00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:44,958 -wine and a hot tub. -HOWIE: Oh. 397 00:18:45,042 --> 00:18:47,628 We actually would love to, but we gotta check with our house, 398 00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:50,464 'cause I think we have other plans, but we'd love to fit you in. 399 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:53,884 Okay, so there's a soft plan to go to their house for a hot tub thing. 400 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,720 -LUKE: Yes. A hot tub! -KEEGAN: What? Hot tub? 401 00:18:56,804 --> 00:18:59,556 -BOTH: Hot tub. Hot tub. Hot... -HOWIE: Everybody shut up! 402 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:00,933 -KEEGAN: Shh, stop. -HOWIE: Yes. 403 00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,601 -MAX: Absolutely. -KEEGAN: Hell yeah. 404 00:19:02,685 --> 00:19:04,395 -NOAH: Be chill about it. -HOWIE: Okay. 405 00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,689 Yeah, that should work for us. 406 00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:10,067 I really don't think we needed to bring anything. 407 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,069 And if you did wanna bring something, 408 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,113 a full bottle of wine would've been the play. 409 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,407 Are you crazy? I just told you we're broke. 410 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,451 Wait. Do they have a house on the beach? 411 00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:22,287 Well, we can't go over there. We are literal trash. 412 00:19:22,371 --> 00:19:24,957 -I'm sure their house is like ours... -We're here. 413 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,459 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) 414 00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:29,837 Yeah, we definitely can't bring that in here. 415 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,172 -(BOTTLE BREAKS) -(MAN SCREAMS) Oh, my God. 416 00:19:32,256 --> 00:19:35,968 NOAH: A lot of people think you have to be successful, white and rich 417 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:39,179 with seven percent body fat to vacation on Fire Island. 418 00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:41,890 Those people are all at this party. 419 00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:44,727 Excuse me. Can we help you? 420 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,438 NOAH: That's code. He does not wanna help us. 421 00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:50,566 Yeah. Hi. Is Charlie here? 422 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,235 I think you may have the wrong house. 423 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:54,945 Why would you think that? 424 00:19:56,155 --> 00:19:57,156 COOPER: Oh, my God. 425 00:19:58,115 --> 00:20:00,284 -You all. -You know them? 426 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,077 Of course. 427 00:20:02,161 --> 00:20:04,496 They're the cute little friends we made at tea. 428 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:08,459 NOAH: And "cute little friends" is code for not a fuckable one in the bunch. 429 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,919 COOPER: Get up here. Don't be rude, Braden. 430 00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:13,505 -Get up here, he says. -Such a bad girl. 431 00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:18,010 LUKE: Hey, you guys smell good. Abercrombie & Fitch Fierce? 432 00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:19,261 (LAUGHS) Good stuff. 433 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,471 We should talk later. 434 00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:23,348 These stairs is nice. Bitch, I feel like we're plus one. 435 00:20:23,432 --> 00:20:25,851 LUKE: What's the address? I wanna order thousands of 'em. 436 00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:26,935 How you doing? 437 00:20:27,436 --> 00:20:29,521 Bitch, you're on snacks. I'm on drinks. 438 00:20:29,605 --> 00:20:30,606 -Go. -Okay. 439 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:31,940 -A shot, please. -I got this. 440 00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:33,692 -Let me just do it. -I was a bartender. 441 00:20:33,776 --> 00:20:35,736 -You were a bar-back. -LUKE: Semantics. 442 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,114 NOAH: You wanna slow down. It's like night one. Jesus. 443 00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:41,784 Excuse me, Dad. Did you not hear Erin before? 444 00:20:41,867 --> 00:20:44,495 -We have to make the most of this night. -Fair point. 445 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:48,874 Oh, my God. Bitch. Look at all of this cheese. 446 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:50,959 Bring that here. I can use that as a garnish. 447 00:20:51,043 --> 00:20:53,086 Guess you guys aren't bottoming tonight. 448 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:56,882 LUKE: Actually, I'm one of the cleanest ever, I've been told, bottom-wise. 449 00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,676 Can you cut limes right now? 450 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,762 -KEEGAN: Cut limes? -We can handle knives, right? 451 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:03,096 KEEGAN: Yeah, why not? 452 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:05,224 HOWIE: He starts, Gays in Space. 453 00:21:05,307 --> 00:21:08,185 And Jason Bateman is surprisingly a good gay person. 454 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,520 In like a very happy way. 455 00:21:09,603 --> 00:21:10,604 (LAUGHS) 456 00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:12,815 -You have to see it. It's like... -Okay. 457 00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:16,026 -...really important. -NOAH: Hey, guys. What'd I miss? 458 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:19,822 I was just explaining this SNL sketch. He's never seen Gays in Space. 459 00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:23,408 Honestly, the way you explained it, I don't even wanna watch the sketch now. 460 00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:25,869 -You should probably watch the sketch. -I refuse to. 461 00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:27,371 -Why are you being... -Adamantly. 462 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:30,958 Charlie. Have you seen Will? I can't find him. He's hiding. 463 00:21:32,084 --> 00:21:33,168 Oh. Um... 464 00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:37,589 No, I haven't. But, uh... If you will excuse me, I'll be right back. 465 00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,512 Cooper, have you heard of Gays in Space? 466 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:45,597 -(CHUCKLING) -COOPER: Is that like Spaceballs? 467 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,812 Girl, please tell me you have not spent the entire conversation 468 00:21:51,895 --> 00:21:53,772 walking him through old SNL sketches. 469 00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:57,401 Shut up. It's a classic. But, no, it's been nice. 470 00:21:58,110 --> 00:22:00,821 He's a pediatrician, isn't that so adorable? 471 00:22:00,904 --> 00:22:04,199 Sure. But is he a top or bottom, does he eat ass, is he on PrEP? 472 00:22:04,283 --> 00:22:06,201 Have you gained no vital information? 473 00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:10,831 It's not like that. I think he just likes talking to me. 474 00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:12,833 Then what the fuck are we doing here? 475 00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:15,544 These people are not our people. I was talking to one of them. 476 00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:18,088 He thinks Lindsey Graham was in The Parent Trap. 477 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,214 Yikes. 478 00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:20,757 I gotta pee. 479 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:29,683 Lindsey Graham in The Parent Trap. I would watch that. 480 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:39,985 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 481 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:45,782 Hmm. 482 00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,869 Let's see what Charlie's working with. 483 00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:52,039 CHARLIE: He hasn't asked me for drugs. It just feels special. 484 00:22:52,122 --> 00:22:54,791 And he is nothing like Rhys, I will say that for him. 485 00:22:54,875 --> 00:22:57,753 WILL: Yeah, well, you just met him, so it's kind of hard to know. 486 00:22:57,836 --> 00:23:00,714 CHARLIE: He hasn't asked me what I'm into one time. 487 00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,341 It's so nice. 488 00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:05,928 WILL: Okay. I'm just saying you've been single for what? A month? 489 00:23:06,011 --> 00:23:09,431 CHARLIE: Calm down. I think that he's cute and funny. 490 00:23:09,514 --> 00:23:10,974 -WILL: Great. -That's all I said. 491 00:23:11,058 --> 00:23:14,978 NOAH: Translation. He wants to dick my friend down. 492 00:23:15,062 --> 00:23:17,481 -WILL: What about his friends? -CHARLIE: They're nice. 493 00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:19,900 WILL: They're clearly using us for free liquor. 494 00:23:19,983 --> 00:23:21,944 Have you seen the way they're drinking? 495 00:23:22,027 --> 00:23:25,781 CHARLIE: (CHUCKLES) Okay, yeah. They're a little quirky, but, um... 496 00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:28,617 -What about Noah? -WILL: He's fine. 497 00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:31,870 He's not hot enough to be that annoying, though. 498 00:23:31,954 --> 00:23:34,998 CHARLIE: I'm so glad I invited you. You're always so positive. 499 00:23:35,082 --> 00:23:36,375 WILL: Why am I here, Charlie? 500 00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:39,211 CHARLIE: Because Cooper's just a family friend, 501 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:41,421 and I wanted a real friend with me. 502 00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:42,714 Is that so bad? 503 00:23:42,798 --> 00:23:44,633 WILL: I want you to be careful, that's all. 504 00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:47,844 You're a good person, and people take advantage of that all the time. 505 00:23:47,928 --> 00:23:49,888 Especially the kind of people that come here. 506 00:23:49,972 --> 00:23:51,223 CHARLIE: What does that mean? 507 00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:55,769 WILL: This place is a playground for superficial, vapid morons. 508 00:23:56,770 --> 00:23:59,982 Will, promise me you'll try to have a good time. 509 00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:03,443 Okay. 510 00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:15,372 -Everything has buckles on it now. -Shade is good on him. It's his color. 511 00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:17,541 -We were just talking about you. -Oh, I know. 512 00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:21,503 Yeah, they were wondering where you got your Speedo from. 513 00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:24,089 It's so cute. Did you get it on Amazon? 514 00:24:24,172 --> 00:24:28,010 No, it's an heirloom. It's been in my family for generations. 515 00:24:28,093 --> 00:24:30,387 -What? -Mine's this little boutique brand. 516 00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:33,306 -You probably haven't heard of them. -Is it Charlie? 517 00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:36,893 Because it says "Charlie" in big, bold letters on your ass. 518 00:24:37,019 --> 00:24:39,479 -(CHUCKLES) -I'm sorry, am I being annoying? 519 00:24:40,105 --> 00:24:42,983 -Yeah. -(CHUCKLES) We have a problem. 520 00:24:43,066 --> 00:24:45,944 (LUKE AND KEEGAN SQUEALING) 521 00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:49,740 Are they bringing cheese into the hot tub? 522 00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:51,742 So sorry. We'll take them home right now. 523 00:24:51,825 --> 00:24:53,493 No, you stay. We got this, right? 524 00:24:53,577 --> 00:24:57,080 Absolutely. Thank you. We had such a great time. 525 00:24:57,164 --> 00:24:59,416 Wonderful party. (CHUCKLES) 526 00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:02,377 (GASPS) Put that brie down! No, not in the water! 527 00:25:02,461 --> 00:25:04,921 Hey, what is going on with you tonight? 528 00:25:05,839 --> 00:25:08,216 Listen. Do you like that guy? Is he nice to you? 529 00:25:08,300 --> 00:25:11,219 Has he expressed any interest in kinky sex? 530 00:25:11,303 --> 00:25:13,221 Yes. Yes. No. 531 00:25:13,305 --> 00:25:15,640 Then it doesn't matter what's going on with me. 532 00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:16,725 You got this. 533 00:25:18,393 --> 00:25:20,437 But whatever you do, do not let these people think 534 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,106 they are better than us, because at the end... 535 00:25:23,190 --> 00:25:24,316 -(RETCHES) -(ALL GASP) 536 00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:25,692 KEEGAN: That is nasty. 537 00:25:26,526 --> 00:25:27,861 Damn, bitch. 538 00:25:27,944 --> 00:25:29,654 (RETCHING) 539 00:25:30,781 --> 00:25:34,076 ERIN: One of them stole this speaker. I don't know where it goes. 540 00:25:34,743 --> 00:25:36,078 (SOFTLY) Disgusting. 541 00:25:36,161 --> 00:25:37,370 Never mind. 542 00:25:37,454 --> 00:25:39,372 KEEGAN: Girl, get that shit out. 543 00:25:39,456 --> 00:25:40,665 He's on PrEP. 544 00:25:40,749 --> 00:25:42,626 -You okay? -LUKE: Oh, my God, no. 545 00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,669 -NOAH: Party's over, babe. -KEEGAN: Come on. 546 00:25:44,753 --> 00:25:46,379 -LUKE: I threw up. -NOAH: I told you. 547 00:25:46,463 --> 00:25:49,382 LUKE: I puked. Yes. Thank you. 548 00:25:49,466 --> 00:25:51,718 KEEGAN: Just think about how skinny you will be, girl. 549 00:25:51,802 --> 00:25:54,179 You guys ever see Gays in Space? 550 00:25:54,262 --> 00:25:56,431 LUKE: They hate me now! 551 00:25:58,183 --> 00:25:59,392 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 552 00:26:05,398 --> 00:26:06,691 NOAH: That's my girl. 553 00:26:11,530 --> 00:26:13,490 Hey, did Howie make it home last night? 554 00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:15,283 No, if you can believe it. 555 00:26:15,367 --> 00:26:16,451 That little whore. 556 00:26:16,535 --> 00:26:20,413 Our little Howie with a doctor. It'll be like having health insurance again. 557 00:26:20,497 --> 00:26:22,749 Okay, chill out. It's just a one-night thing. 558 00:26:22,833 --> 00:26:25,377 Yeah, like, we don't even know if anything happened. 559 00:26:25,460 --> 00:26:27,754 -Maybe they killed him. -NOAH: Okay. Don't be bitter. 560 00:26:27,838 --> 00:26:31,716 -Did anybody bother to text him? -MAX: I did. But it went to green. 561 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,093 Maybe Keegan's right. 562 00:26:33,176 --> 00:26:36,054 Although, you are more likely to get murdered in your own home. 563 00:26:36,138 --> 00:26:38,306 -LUKE: It's why I never host. -Fuck. Uh... 564 00:26:39,015 --> 00:26:40,851 You know what? I bet his phone died. 565 00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:41,935 I'll go get him. 566 00:26:52,112 --> 00:26:54,364 Excuse me. Um, can we help you? 567 00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:56,241 Seriously, this again? 568 00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:57,826 Oh, my God. Howie? 569 00:26:58,368 --> 00:27:00,162 Oh, my God. Hi. 570 00:27:00,871 --> 00:27:03,498 See, Braden, I'm a friend. Is Howie still here? 571 00:27:04,082 --> 00:27:06,209 He is, poor thing. 572 00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:08,670 I think he drank a little too much last night. 573 00:27:08,753 --> 00:27:11,339 Top-shelf stuff hits a little different than well. 574 00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:12,799 Can I go check on him? 575 00:27:16,845 --> 00:27:18,847 Last night, literally last night. 576 00:27:22,392 --> 00:27:23,727 (DOOR OPENS) 577 00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:26,813 Hey. 578 00:27:27,939 --> 00:27:29,024 You're back. 579 00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:33,111 Yep. Just came to check on my friend. 580 00:27:33,278 --> 00:27:36,031 -Uh, your friend's upstairs, I think. -Great. 581 00:27:36,364 --> 00:27:37,365 Uh, wait. 582 00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:45,165 Here. He might need this. 583 00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:46,249 Thanks. 584 00:27:46,875 --> 00:27:50,420 I also just wanted to say sorry about last night. 585 00:27:51,254 --> 00:27:52,881 Braden wasn't super welcoming. So... 586 00:27:52,964 --> 00:27:57,177 -Braden? You're apologizing for Braden? -I don't understand. 587 00:27:57,260 --> 00:27:59,346 Little tip. The tap water here, safe to drink. 588 00:27:59,429 --> 00:28:02,515 You don't have to pollute the oceans or waste your money with bottles. 589 00:28:03,475 --> 00:28:04,476 -(BIN OPENS) -(SCOFFS) 590 00:28:08,772 --> 00:28:09,773 You're right. 591 00:28:10,649 --> 00:28:11,650 (BOTTLE THUDS) 592 00:28:13,735 --> 00:28:14,736 Noted. 593 00:28:15,195 --> 00:28:16,196 (SCOFFS) 594 00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:17,364 Nice. 595 00:28:26,623 --> 00:28:28,208 Look at you, superstar. 596 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:29,376 (HOWIE GROANS) 597 00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:32,587 I want to die. 598 00:28:32,671 --> 00:28:35,757 What happened? I haven't seen you like this since your Four Loko days. 599 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,719 I think it's the expensive booze. Guess my body is used to well. 600 00:28:39,803 --> 00:28:42,264 Where are people getting this? That's not science. 601 00:28:42,347 --> 00:28:44,849 (GROANS) I'm humiliated. 602 00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:46,393 Oh, no. 603 00:28:46,476 --> 00:28:49,771 I take it you didn't make it happen with the doctor last night? 604 00:28:49,854 --> 00:28:53,191 No. I spent most of the night in here. 605 00:28:53,858 --> 00:28:56,695 But he did stay up with me, though. 606 00:28:56,778 --> 00:28:58,863 Well, that's good. It means he's into you. 607 00:28:58,947 --> 00:29:01,866 But it is day two. I think we should start looking into other options. 608 00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:05,578 Yeah. Totally. I'm sure there's tons of cute guys on this island 609 00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:08,873 who would miss a party to watch me puke. 610 00:29:08,957 --> 00:29:12,294 Well, he is a doctor, so he sort of has to. 611 00:29:13,878 --> 00:29:14,921 Right. 612 00:29:16,339 --> 00:29:17,882 He did this thing, though, 613 00:29:19,634 --> 00:29:22,512 where he was rubbing my back while I was sick, 614 00:29:22,595 --> 00:29:25,181 and I don't know how to explain it, 615 00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:29,144 but it felt really intimate. 616 00:29:30,437 --> 00:29:32,063 I don't know. I'm being stupid. 617 00:29:32,147 --> 00:29:34,316 No, you're not being stupid. It's just... 618 00:29:34,399 --> 00:29:36,860 Don't get sucked into one guy's orbit. 619 00:29:36,943 --> 00:29:37,944 Right. 620 00:29:38,945 --> 00:29:40,071 CHARLIE: Knock, knock. 621 00:29:40,155 --> 00:29:42,866 Hi. Sorry. Will told me you were up here. 622 00:29:42,949 --> 00:29:44,826 I just came to check on our patient. 623 00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:47,829 Well, he's pregnant and he's not raising this baby alone. 624 00:29:47,912 --> 00:29:49,122 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 625 00:29:49,289 --> 00:29:50,623 HOWIE: I'm fine. 626 00:29:51,124 --> 00:29:53,626 Thank you again for everything. 627 00:29:53,710 --> 00:29:57,547 Of course. Don't mention it. Honestly, my back feels incredible. 628 00:29:57,630 --> 00:30:01,134 I might just start sleeping on the bathroom floor every night. 629 00:30:01,259 --> 00:30:03,553 (BOTH LAUGHING) 630 00:30:05,388 --> 00:30:07,140 NOAH: This is bleak. 631 00:30:07,223 --> 00:30:09,851 Charlie, do you wanna come and eat dinner at our house tonight? 632 00:30:09,934 --> 00:30:11,353 As, like, a thank you. 633 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:13,772 You don't have to do that. 634 00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:18,234 NOAH: Oh, please. You took such good care of Howie, let us repay you. 635 00:30:18,318 --> 00:30:20,737 Uh, can I invite the rest of my house? 636 00:30:21,404 --> 00:30:22,864 That could be fun, right? 637 00:30:24,991 --> 00:30:26,076 NOAH: Sure. 638 00:30:27,035 --> 00:30:28,411 The more the merrier. 639 00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:31,873 ERIN: Why did you spring a dinner on me like this? 640 00:30:31,956 --> 00:30:33,416 You love throwing dinner parties. 641 00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:35,794 It makes it really stressful to be friends with you. 642 00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:38,463 For you, I could put out a platter of uncooked hotdogs 643 00:30:38,546 --> 00:30:40,173 and you kids would eat it right up. 644 00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:42,092 -We wouldn't. -We can cancel if you want. 645 00:30:42,175 --> 00:30:43,635 I would rather die. 646 00:30:43,718 --> 00:30:45,678 Go to the Pantry. I'll text you a list. 647 00:30:45,762 --> 00:30:50,058 Find anything dented, label-less or on the brink of expiration. 648 00:30:50,141 --> 00:30:51,976 -Fly, you fools! -All right. 649 00:30:52,602 --> 00:30:54,646 -All right. Enough. Let's go. -Let's go. 650 00:30:54,729 --> 00:30:56,398 -Not enough. -Bitch, where we going? 651 00:30:58,066 --> 00:31:01,027 MAN: And for you to charge $11 for one box of Cheez-Its, 652 00:31:01,111 --> 00:31:04,781 which you fully well know a box of Cheez-Its is on average $7.59 653 00:31:04,864 --> 00:31:06,574 in any store in New York, 654 00:31:06,658 --> 00:31:10,829 and I don't throw this term around lightly, sweetheart, is homophobic. 655 00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:12,747 CLERK: Sir, I don't set the prices. 656 00:31:12,831 --> 00:31:14,207 -I don't care. -CLERK: Sir... 657 00:31:14,290 --> 00:31:15,291 MAN: I'm not done. 658 00:31:15,375 --> 00:31:17,710 I mean, he's not wrong. The prices here are psychotic. 659 00:31:17,794 --> 00:31:19,879 You can thank capitalism for that, by the way. 660 00:31:19,963 --> 00:31:22,715 Calm down, Bernie Sanders. I personally love the Pantry. 661 00:31:22,799 --> 00:31:24,926 Small businesses are the lifeblood of this country. 662 00:31:25,009 --> 00:31:27,137 And also, who says we have to pay? 663 00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:30,056 Yeah, when we lived above that Whole Foods in college, 664 00:31:30,140 --> 00:31:32,183 we got so good at stealing. 665 00:31:33,184 --> 00:31:36,855 You would not believe how many Kind bars I can fit in Keegan's ass. 666 00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:38,273 My girl is like a Costco. 667 00:31:38,356 --> 00:31:41,025 Wait, like, in hole or, like, just between the cheeks? 668 00:31:41,276 --> 00:31:42,360 I don't know. 669 00:31:47,949 --> 00:31:51,619 Um, okay, crazy hot guy checking you out by the produce. 670 00:31:51,703 --> 00:31:53,538 I saw. But we're not doing me right now, 671 00:31:53,621 --> 00:31:55,582 we're doing you and that pink hole of yours. 672 00:31:55,665 --> 00:31:58,668 Ew. Stop. Gross. Forget I said anything. Here, go do something useful 673 00:31:58,751 --> 00:32:01,379 and dent these cans so we can get a discount. 674 00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:04,757 (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN DISTANCE) 675 00:32:11,347 --> 00:32:13,433 -Hey. -It was like this when I found it. 676 00:32:14,726 --> 00:32:15,727 Oh. 677 00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:17,770 Shit. This is humiliating. 678 00:32:19,689 --> 00:32:20,690 It's cool. 679 00:32:22,358 --> 00:32:23,359 Oh. 680 00:32:25,403 --> 00:32:26,404 I'm poor, too. 681 00:32:27,030 --> 00:32:28,573 NOAH: I meant what I said to Howie. 682 00:32:28,656 --> 00:32:30,325 I'm committed to my duties as wingman, 683 00:32:30,408 --> 00:32:32,869 which makes meeting someone who looks like this... 684 00:32:32,952 --> 00:32:35,413 -You've read The Ethical Slut. -Yeah, it's formative. 685 00:32:35,497 --> 00:32:36,831 ...extremely inconvenient. 686 00:32:36,915 --> 00:32:39,334 It's part of the reason why I'm so annoying. 687 00:32:39,417 --> 00:32:41,961 That and my parents. They're so messed up. 688 00:32:42,045 --> 00:32:44,589 It's like, what has heteronormativity ever done for them? 689 00:32:44,672 --> 00:32:46,674 What are you guys even talking about over here? 690 00:32:46,758 --> 00:32:48,760 KEEGAN: Noah always does this, so... 691 00:32:48,843 --> 00:32:49,844 He meets someone fun 692 00:32:49,928 --> 00:32:52,180 and then she scares 'em away with all her talking. 693 00:32:52,263 --> 00:32:54,516 -CHARLIE: Did you have Pedialyte? -HOWIE: I had... 694 00:32:54,599 --> 00:32:56,184 Who is Howie talking to? 695 00:32:56,643 --> 00:32:58,353 Oh. Them again. 696 00:32:58,478 --> 00:33:00,980 -Oh, shit. -CHARLIE: I'm telling you, 697 00:33:01,064 --> 00:33:02,607 -Pedialyte works. -Come on. 698 00:33:02,690 --> 00:33:04,901 I know. It's like Gatorade without the nasty... 699 00:33:04,984 --> 00:33:07,278 -Hello. -Oh, my goodness. 700 00:33:07,362 --> 00:33:10,031 I hope that you did not get all this for us. 701 00:33:11,866 --> 00:33:13,076 Hi, Dex! 702 00:33:13,159 --> 00:33:15,453 Wait, how do you guys know Dex? 703 00:33:15,703 --> 00:33:19,499 -Uh, we just met. Is he with you guys? -No. 704 00:33:19,666 --> 00:33:22,001 CHARLIE: We just know a lot of the same people, I guess. 705 00:33:22,085 --> 00:33:24,087 Yeah, I knew Will back in California. 706 00:33:24,170 --> 00:33:27,966 You didn't strike me as a teeny-tiny- little-ice-cream-cone sorta guy. Cute. 707 00:33:29,050 --> 00:33:30,051 It's melting. 708 00:33:31,511 --> 00:33:32,512 Huh. 709 00:33:34,514 --> 00:33:38,309 Um, okay. Well, we should get all this home. We will see you guys at dinner. 710 00:33:38,393 --> 00:33:41,521 -Actually, Dex, why don't you come? -Yes, you have to. 711 00:33:41,604 --> 00:33:43,606 -Oh, my God, please come. -Yeah, come. 712 00:33:43,731 --> 00:33:46,317 Yeah, it'll give you a chance to catch up with Will. 713 00:33:46,401 --> 00:33:48,152 CHARLIE: That would be fun, right? 714 00:33:51,739 --> 00:33:54,033 Yeah. Awesome. 715 00:33:54,117 --> 00:33:56,995 Okay, so we really have to go. Raw chicken, direct sunlight... 716 00:33:57,078 --> 00:33:58,079 CHARLIE: Of course. 717 00:33:58,162 --> 00:33:59,581 -Bye. -We'll see you later. 718 00:33:59,664 --> 00:34:00,748 -Later. -See you later. 719 00:34:00,832 --> 00:34:02,292 -Bye, Howie. -HOWIE: Bye, Charlie. 720 00:34:02,375 --> 00:34:04,460 NOAH: I didn't prepare for an extra person, but... 721 00:34:04,544 --> 00:34:06,588 What are you up to, you little troll? 722 00:34:06,671 --> 00:34:08,798 I thought I'd make dinner a little more interesting. 723 00:34:08,881 --> 00:34:10,341 HOWIE: Oh, my God. 724 00:34:18,808 --> 00:34:21,644 NOAH: Something important to understand about Fire Island 725 00:34:21,894 --> 00:34:24,689 is that time sort of works differently here. 726 00:34:26,190 --> 00:34:29,944 For whatever reason, call it magic or too many drugs, 727 00:34:30,111 --> 00:34:31,279 a full day in the Pines 728 00:34:31,362 --> 00:34:34,949 can equal anywhere between a week to three months out in the real world. 729 00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:36,451 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 730 00:34:36,534 --> 00:34:38,411 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 731 00:34:38,953 --> 00:34:41,205 You can catch feelings after just one day. 732 00:34:41,289 --> 00:34:45,126 People don't like it when you put make-up on it. I'm sorry, it's true. 733 00:34:46,544 --> 00:34:48,588 NOAH: All kinds of feelings. 734 00:34:52,216 --> 00:34:55,053 I really thought every house on the island had a hot tub. 735 00:34:55,136 --> 00:34:57,096 Yeah, I know, it's crazy, right? 736 00:34:57,180 --> 00:35:00,141 We have a GoFundMe set up, so fingers crossed, though. 737 00:35:00,224 --> 00:35:02,685 Hi, by the way. Where is the rest of your house? 738 00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:07,106 Um, yeah. Braden and the boys, they're feeling a little tired. 739 00:35:07,690 --> 00:35:09,567 Well, thank God you had the energy. 740 00:35:10,526 --> 00:35:13,237 Oh, God. Five minutes and you've already found a book? 741 00:35:13,321 --> 00:35:14,572 NOAH: Yeah, that's mine. 742 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,616 You're reading Alice Munro? 743 00:35:16,699 --> 00:35:19,577 Yeah, I blazed through Animorphs already, so... 744 00:35:19,661 --> 00:35:23,498 No, I... Sorry. I just didn't think anybody would be reading here. 745 00:35:23,581 --> 00:35:25,750 CHARLIE: You're so good. I always mean to. 746 00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:29,087 Yeah, well, I just do like audio books and stuff, or a podcast. 747 00:35:29,420 --> 00:35:32,340 What kind of a gay person goes on vacation to do homework? 748 00:35:32,423 --> 00:35:33,424 A literate one. 749 00:35:33,508 --> 00:35:34,509 (LAUGHS) 750 00:35:35,176 --> 00:35:39,889 You're so funny. You're all so funny. Very biting, like, um... 751 00:35:40,139 --> 00:35:41,766 Do you know who Amy Schumer is? 752 00:35:41,849 --> 00:35:46,771 Hey, I wanna show you something that I'm gonna think of when I get inside. 753 00:35:46,854 --> 00:35:48,690 -Why don't we go do that? -(CLEARS THROAT) 754 00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:52,068 I'm gonna FaceTime my mom before I get too fucked up tonight. 755 00:35:52,151 --> 00:35:55,446 I forgot her birthday, again. What's your Wi-Fi password? 756 00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:58,157 Cherry Jones, but all the E's are threes. 757 00:36:03,413 --> 00:36:05,123 (EXHALES) 758 00:36:09,919 --> 00:36:12,630 So, you a big reader? 759 00:36:16,050 --> 00:36:17,135 I am. 760 00:36:19,762 --> 00:36:21,681 (MIMICS WILL) "And you, do you like to read?" 761 00:36:21,764 --> 00:36:24,434 -(IN NORMAL VOICE) "I do. Thank you..." -Excuse me? 762 00:36:24,809 --> 00:36:27,770 That's how conversations work. Generally, in my experience... 763 00:36:27,854 --> 00:36:30,440 Why would I ask a question I already know the answer to? 764 00:36:30,523 --> 00:36:32,650 Doesn't have to be that question, specifically. 765 00:36:32,734 --> 00:36:35,737 -Do you really not know how this works? -What's your favorite story? 766 00:36:37,864 --> 00:36:38,865 Uh... 767 00:36:39,949 --> 00:36:41,951 I don't know. Powers. 768 00:36:45,663 --> 00:36:49,167 It's, um, you know, it's quintessential Alice. 769 00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:53,755 It's got all the narrative restraint and beautiful prose 770 00:36:53,838 --> 00:36:57,633 and then, at the same time, it's this weird departure for her. 771 00:36:57,717 --> 00:36:58,718 Really? How? 772 00:36:59,594 --> 00:37:04,557 Well, normally, what she writes about is so domestic, 773 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,809 you know, and then, in this one, she's like, 774 00:37:06,893 --> 00:37:10,104 "Here's this girl with superpowers and it's crazy like..." 775 00:37:10,188 --> 00:37:12,231 I don't know if that's definitive. 776 00:37:12,315 --> 00:37:15,526 Yeah, it is. The story is literally called "Powers." 777 00:37:15,610 --> 00:37:16,819 That girl has superpowers. 778 00:37:16,903 --> 00:37:19,947 In terms of the story that she's actually telling, 779 00:37:20,031 --> 00:37:22,366 I don't think it ultimately matters if she has powers... 780 00:37:22,450 --> 00:37:24,577 If it ultimately doesn't matter, why are we arguing? 781 00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:27,205 -I didn't think we were arguing. -So, let me win. 782 00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:29,791 Okay. 783 00:37:32,210 --> 00:37:33,169 You win. 784 00:37:34,545 --> 00:37:36,839 NOAH: Somehow I'm mad and horny. 785 00:37:36,923 --> 00:37:40,134 HOWIE: I can't believe you talked me into showing you. 786 00:37:40,218 --> 00:37:42,845 -CHARLIE: I didn't talk you into it... -Oh, damn. 787 00:37:42,929 --> 00:37:45,181 Howie doesn't normally show people that sketchbook. 788 00:37:45,264 --> 00:37:47,809 -He must really like your friend. -WILL: I see. 789 00:37:49,894 --> 00:37:51,020 Is there a problem? 790 00:37:52,438 --> 00:37:55,775 WILL: I don't know your friend, okay? But I do know Charlie, 791 00:37:55,858 --> 00:37:58,861 and people tend to mistake his kindness for affection. 792 00:37:58,945 --> 00:38:00,196 Well, I know Howie 793 00:38:00,279 --> 00:38:03,449 and I think he just wants to show your friend some doodles, so, chill. 794 00:38:03,533 --> 00:38:05,159 LUKE: Excuse me, gay community. 795 00:38:05,243 --> 00:38:06,494 (LAUGHING) 796 00:38:06,577 --> 00:38:08,538 Look who we found. The king. 797 00:38:08,621 --> 00:38:11,874 He literally said the funniest thing ever. Tell 'em, it's so funny. 798 00:38:11,958 --> 00:38:13,960 -I'm not gonna say it. -Tell 'em now. 799 00:38:14,460 --> 00:38:15,461 Mm. 800 00:38:16,170 --> 00:38:18,631 -Is this where the orgy is? -(BOTH LAUGHING) 801 00:38:19,048 --> 00:38:21,968 LUKE: "Is this where the orgy is?" Who says "orgy"? 802 00:38:22,051 --> 00:38:23,594 KEEGAN: You're so crazy! 803 00:38:23,678 --> 00:38:27,557 We're gonna head inside and play a little fun pre-dinner game. 804 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:31,686 Uh, we don't... We don't play games. We're... We're adults. 805 00:38:31,769 --> 00:38:34,063 Oh, my bad. Howie, turn on 60 Minutes. 806 00:38:34,647 --> 00:38:38,192 Sorry, just ignore him. Tonight we are going to be game people. 807 00:38:39,569 --> 00:38:41,195 What kind of game is it? 808 00:38:41,279 --> 00:38:43,781 Oh, it's real low-stakes, real chill. 809 00:38:45,658 --> 00:38:47,618 -No! What the fuck! -Are you kidding me? 810 00:38:47,702 --> 00:38:49,579 -What is wrong with you? -Act the scene. 811 00:38:49,662 --> 00:38:52,206 -Don't you even think about... -Do not pass on this icon. 812 00:38:52,290 --> 00:38:54,333 (MIMICS MARISA TOMEI) "No. The defense is wrong!" 813 00:38:54,417 --> 00:38:56,836 (MIMICS MARISA TOMEI) "No. The defense is wrong!" 814 00:38:56,919 --> 00:38:59,881 -"No. The defense is wrong!" -"No! The defense is wrong!" 815 00:38:59,964 --> 00:39:03,885 -And Joe Pesci like, "How do you know?" -KEEGAN: And she goes, "I'm positive." 816 00:39:03,968 --> 00:39:05,970 -LUKE: "I'm positive." -Penelope Cruz? 817 00:39:06,554 --> 00:39:09,223 "My biological clock is ticking like this 818 00:39:09,307 --> 00:39:12,184 "and the way this case is going, I ain't never getting married." 819 00:39:12,268 --> 00:39:14,145 -The deer with the little... Bam! -Come on! 820 00:39:14,228 --> 00:39:16,355 -A bullet hits you in the head. -Rosie Perez? 821 00:39:16,439 --> 00:39:19,066 -Oh, my God. -Almost respect you for saying her name. 822 00:39:19,150 --> 00:39:21,152 -Bitch, who is this? -In the Bedroom nominee. 823 00:39:21,235 --> 00:39:23,696 -WILL: Laura Dern? -LUKE: Yeah, we get it, you're gay. 824 00:39:23,779 --> 00:39:25,072 (BUZZER SOUNDS) 825 00:39:25,323 --> 00:39:27,909 KEEGAN: Seriously? You couldn't get Marisa Tomei, 826 00:39:27,992 --> 00:39:30,786 -but you got Alicia Vikander? -WILL: Told you I didn't wanna play. 827 00:39:30,870 --> 00:39:32,580 LUKE: That's the problem with Hollywood. 828 00:39:32,663 --> 00:39:35,625 It's people like you who forget about Marisa Tomei, 829 00:39:35,708 --> 00:39:38,419 but they remember Alicia Vikander. Flop. 830 00:39:38,502 --> 00:39:40,087 She was really great in Ex Machina. 831 00:39:40,171 --> 00:39:41,631 You need to stay out of this, you. 832 00:39:41,714 --> 00:39:43,382 Hey, do you wanna go get a drink? 833 00:39:43,466 --> 00:39:46,093 Seems like this could go on for a while. 834 00:39:46,177 --> 00:39:48,095 LUKE: Why do I care about Ex Machina? 835 00:39:48,179 --> 00:39:50,598 -KEEGAN: Robot blobot. It don't matter. -LUKE: Can we stop? 836 00:39:50,681 --> 00:39:54,268 God! I knew it would be bad, but I didn't think it'd be that bad. 837 00:39:54,352 --> 00:39:56,896 Jesus, that guy is not good at games. 838 00:39:57,772 --> 00:39:58,856 Yeah. (SCOFFS) 839 00:39:59,607 --> 00:40:03,945 What is that? What's going on there? Did you guys used to fuck or something? 840 00:40:04,028 --> 00:40:05,363 -Who? Me and Will? -Yeah. 841 00:40:05,446 --> 00:40:06,989 Yeah, no, God. (LAUGHS) 842 00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:10,534 No, guys like Will do not fuck guys like me. 843 00:40:10,618 --> 00:40:13,162 Oh, right, I forgot. You're hideous. 844 00:40:13,329 --> 00:40:15,289 I mean, everyone in his circle 845 00:40:15,373 --> 00:40:18,751 is hot, or rich, or both. 846 00:40:18,834 --> 00:40:24,340 But, um, his real issue was, um... 847 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,051 Okay, I'm just gonna be up front with you. 848 00:40:27,134 --> 00:40:30,471 I sort of have an OnlyFans. It's just pictures of me. 849 00:40:30,554 --> 00:40:32,473 I'm not trying to be a porn star or anything. 850 00:40:32,556 --> 00:40:34,016 You don't have to do that. 851 00:40:34,100 --> 00:40:36,310 You know, "sex work is work," and all that. 852 00:40:36,394 --> 00:40:41,190 Well, for guys like Will, social gatekeepers, you know... 853 00:40:42,858 --> 00:40:44,860 (SIGHS) It's a pretty big deal breaker. 854 00:40:45,486 --> 00:40:48,155 (CLICKS TONGUE) Gay guys like that are ruining this island. 855 00:40:48,572 --> 00:40:51,826 Yeah, but then again, 856 00:40:51,951 --> 00:40:53,577 there are gay guys... 857 00:40:54,704 --> 00:40:55,746 like you. 858 00:40:55,830 --> 00:40:58,332 Yeah, I'm just another horny idiot. 859 00:40:58,499 --> 00:40:59,500 Mm-hmm. 860 00:40:59,792 --> 00:41:01,210 -I can work with that. -Yeah? 861 00:41:01,293 --> 00:41:02,294 Yeah. 862 00:41:07,425 --> 00:41:09,010 ERIN: Dinner is served. 863 00:41:09,343 --> 00:41:10,344 (POPS TONGUE) 864 00:41:11,554 --> 00:41:12,972 (DEX CLEARS THROAT) 865 00:41:13,097 --> 00:41:17,893 So there I was, on my hands and knees in the middle of the Meat Rack 866 00:41:17,977 --> 00:41:22,565 trying to use the light on my flip phone 867 00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:26,569 -to scan this chick's pussy for crabs. -(ALL EXCLAIMING) 868 00:41:26,652 --> 00:41:28,696 Erin, we're literally eating right now. 869 00:41:29,572 --> 00:41:32,283 Wait, did she... Did she, you know... 870 00:41:32,742 --> 00:41:34,535 She did, but it was so worth it. 871 00:41:34,618 --> 00:41:36,787 Oh, you still went through with it? 872 00:41:36,871 --> 00:41:39,248 She was one of the great loves of my life. 873 00:41:39,331 --> 00:41:42,501 We dated for two years. We told everybody we met at Red Lobster. 874 00:41:42,585 --> 00:41:44,336 (ALL LAUGHING) 875 00:41:51,802 --> 00:41:53,512 Thank you so much for this dinner. 876 00:41:53,596 --> 00:41:56,265 We don't usually eat this well when we're here. 877 00:41:56,348 --> 00:41:58,017 Stop, you big flirt. 878 00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:02,271 Oh, I'm serious. And it's not just the dinner, it's all of you. You're... 879 00:42:03,230 --> 00:42:07,276 You're all so different than anyone I've ever met before. 880 00:42:10,029 --> 00:42:11,697 I meant that in a good way. 881 00:42:11,781 --> 00:42:14,742 Like, um, Will, you... You guys get it? 882 00:42:15,367 --> 00:42:18,746 No, it's cool. We do take this week pretty seriously. 883 00:42:19,288 --> 00:42:22,541 You know, that's why it's really gonna suck next year when we, uh... 884 00:42:24,126 --> 00:42:25,086 You know... 885 00:42:27,838 --> 00:42:30,841 -It's... -ERIN: Okay, enough of this talk. 886 00:42:30,925 --> 00:42:32,843 Mm. You gotta forgive Noah. 887 00:42:32,927 --> 00:42:36,013 He is the most sensitive of all of my boys. 888 00:42:36,097 --> 00:42:38,390 I guess he cares about us a little too much. 889 00:42:40,267 --> 00:42:41,936 Okay, who saved room for dessert? 890 00:42:42,019 --> 00:42:43,646 -KEEGAN: I did. -LUKE: Yes, please. 891 00:42:43,729 --> 00:42:46,899 The different girls will get dessert. Just the different girls. 892 00:42:46,982 --> 00:42:49,902 Oh, fuck this. It's fine. I'm fine. 893 00:42:49,985 --> 00:42:51,737 We still have a week. 894 00:42:51,821 --> 00:42:54,031 Does anyone want a refill? Charlie? 895 00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:55,366 (HOWIE BREATHING HEAVILY) 896 00:42:55,449 --> 00:42:56,450 Come on. 897 00:42:58,410 --> 00:43:00,663 -(NOAH LAUGHS) -Shut up, that did not happen. 898 00:43:01,580 --> 00:43:04,458 Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I swear to God, that was his vibe. 899 00:43:04,542 --> 00:43:07,711 Who cares? None of this matters unless you fucked. Did you fuck? 900 00:43:09,255 --> 00:43:12,758 -We did not fuck. -(ALL GROAN) 901 00:43:12,842 --> 00:43:16,971 Howard! I gave you uninterrupted access to our room for 27 minutes. 902 00:43:17,054 --> 00:43:18,430 What the fuck were you doing? 903 00:43:18,514 --> 00:43:20,474 Ten bucks says they were doing a puzzle. 904 00:43:20,558 --> 00:43:22,059 Tell me you weren't doing a puzzle. 905 00:43:23,978 --> 00:43:24,979 (GASPS) 906 00:43:25,563 --> 00:43:27,398 -Yeah. -(CHUCKLES) Yeah. 907 00:43:27,481 --> 00:43:30,109 Twenty-seven minutes is not long enough to do a puzzle, 908 00:43:30,192 --> 00:43:33,320 -or have sex, for that matter. -That's an episode of Chopped. 909 00:43:33,404 --> 00:43:35,948 Do you need longer than an episode of Chopped to have sex? 910 00:43:36,031 --> 00:43:38,159 Seriously. Spill. Did you make any progress? 911 00:43:41,829 --> 00:43:43,914 Coming out was a mess. 912 00:43:43,998 --> 00:43:47,001 My mom, she definitely took it a little bit better. 913 00:43:47,835 --> 00:43:48,794 But my dad... 914 00:43:49,587 --> 00:43:52,381 Only son and all that typical dad shit. 915 00:43:53,465 --> 00:43:55,426 But that's why my friends... 916 00:43:55,593 --> 00:43:59,305 You know, you find the family that can fill in the gaps. 917 00:44:00,222 --> 00:44:02,099 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 918 00:44:03,392 --> 00:44:06,145 Shut up! Get to the good part. 919 00:44:06,896 --> 00:44:07,897 What? 920 00:44:07,980 --> 00:44:09,982 You're just really smart 921 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:12,526 and funny, 922 00:44:14,278 --> 00:44:15,404 and, um... 923 00:44:16,614 --> 00:44:17,740 And... 924 00:44:20,534 --> 00:44:22,912 (ALL CHEERING AND EXCLAIMING) 925 00:44:22,995 --> 00:44:24,079 Was there tongue? 926 00:44:24,163 --> 00:44:25,164 Okay, awesome. 927 00:44:25,247 --> 00:44:28,459 So you've laid the groundwork perfectly to seal the deal tonight. 928 00:44:28,542 --> 00:44:30,211 -But tonight's underwear party. -Yeah. 929 00:44:30,294 --> 00:44:32,796 You take him into the dark room, get fucked, we all move on. 930 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,090 In the dark room? In front of everyone? 931 00:44:35,174 --> 00:44:36,550 Why do you care so much? 932 00:44:36,634 --> 00:44:39,887 Because I'm not getting laid until you do, and my blue balls are terminal. 933 00:44:39,970 --> 00:44:42,890 Get laid, please. God. It's like your thing. 934 00:44:42,973 --> 00:44:44,183 Plus, Dex seems like a lock. 935 00:44:44,266 --> 00:44:47,978 Okay, you know what, I'm sorry, he flirts with all of us. So shut up. 936 00:44:49,563 --> 00:44:52,358 I don't know why you guys don't think of me as more of a threat. 937 00:44:52,441 --> 00:44:54,777 'Cause Dex was giving me eyes last night. 938 00:44:54,860 --> 00:44:56,028 Me, too. 939 00:44:56,111 --> 00:44:57,112 No, he wasn't. 940 00:44:57,738 --> 00:45:00,324 Now you two salivating over a basic white guy again. 941 00:45:00,407 --> 00:45:01,992 NOAH: Okay, whatever. Dex is great. 942 00:45:02,076 --> 00:45:04,245 And fringe benefit, he really pisses off Will. 943 00:45:04,328 --> 00:45:06,497 I think Will might be a little bit jealous. 944 00:45:06,622 --> 00:45:07,665 NOAH: What? 945 00:45:08,540 --> 00:45:10,960 -A little bit jealous. -Of who? 946 00:45:11,085 --> 00:45:12,169 (SCOFFS) Can you stop? 947 00:45:12,253 --> 00:45:13,545 What? I need the pump. 948 00:45:14,213 --> 00:45:17,049 Maybe Will is jealous of Dex? Or you? 949 00:45:17,132 --> 00:45:20,344 No. Dex gave me the download. Will thinks we're trash. 950 00:45:20,427 --> 00:45:22,513 He might be a little bit more complex than that. 951 00:45:22,596 --> 00:45:24,265 (SNICKERS) Who told you that? Charlie? 952 00:45:24,348 --> 00:45:27,935 No, but also Charlie wouldn't be friends with a complete asshole. 953 00:45:28,018 --> 00:45:31,730 Whatever. That guy is just another token Asian in a sea of white friends. 954 00:45:31,814 --> 00:45:33,357 Way harsh, Tai. 955 00:45:35,109 --> 00:45:37,528 I really think you might be wrong about this. 956 00:45:37,611 --> 00:45:41,240 -LUKE: Keegan, did you paint on abs? -KEEGAN: I just did a little highlight. 957 00:45:41,323 --> 00:45:45,077 HOWIE: I've got three roaches, two bags with maybe one bump between them, 958 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,620 and an old bottle of poppers. 959 00:45:46,704 --> 00:45:48,455 I stole a couple of my brother's Adderall 960 00:45:48,539 --> 00:45:51,542 and if you take it with half an edible, it's basically Molly. 961 00:45:52,001 --> 00:45:54,670 I found this on the ground at Battle Hymn a couple weeks ago. 962 00:45:54,753 --> 00:45:57,172 It could be Molly, or it could be, like, a probiotic. 963 00:45:57,256 --> 00:45:59,591 Mm. Interesting. I've got half a bottle of G 964 00:45:59,675 --> 00:46:02,011 and also a full bag of K that I got in Mexico. 965 00:46:02,094 --> 00:46:05,431 -ALL: Oh! -I'm not doing drugs tonight. 966 00:46:05,514 --> 00:46:06,724 -Okay. -I'll take that. 967 00:46:06,807 --> 00:46:09,518 -Yeah, I'm gonna take... -None of you are gonna pressure me? 968 00:46:09,601 --> 00:46:11,729 Well, you don't do drugs. That's not news. 969 00:46:11,812 --> 00:46:13,022 Yeah, babe, we love you, 970 00:46:13,105 --> 00:46:16,108 you're family to us, but we no longer believe we can make you fun. 971 00:46:16,191 --> 00:46:17,818 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 972 00:46:17,985 --> 00:46:19,737 Is it down in one? Or how do I... 973 00:46:19,820 --> 00:46:21,322 -ERIN: Save some drugs for me. -No. 974 00:46:21,405 --> 00:46:22,823 -Oh, hey, girl. -Hey. 975 00:46:22,906 --> 00:46:25,576 -Sure you don't wanna come with us? -To Cherry Grove? 976 00:46:25,659 --> 00:46:28,871 -You know I'm not allowed. -Seriously? That fire was ten years ago. 977 00:46:28,954 --> 00:46:33,334 Lesbians never forget. Besides, I have so much to do here. 978 00:46:33,417 --> 00:46:36,128 You'll have a good time. You don't need me. 979 00:46:37,004 --> 00:46:38,547 -I'll be fine. -We love you. 980 00:46:38,630 --> 00:46:41,592 I love you, too. I'll miss you, too. 981 00:46:41,675 --> 00:46:45,095 I know, I know, I love you, miss you. I love you. 982 00:46:45,179 --> 00:46:48,223 Don't forget to hydrate. So much to do. 983 00:46:50,351 --> 00:46:51,352 (DOOR CLOSES) 984 00:46:51,727 --> 00:46:52,728 (LUKE GROANS) 985 00:46:53,228 --> 00:46:55,981 Cherry Grove is so far. We should've taken a water taxi. 986 00:46:56,065 --> 00:46:58,734 Because Charlie said his house was taking a water taxi. 987 00:46:58,817 --> 00:47:01,070 Girl, the water taxi is nine bucks per person. 988 00:47:01,153 --> 00:47:03,405 Know how many water bottles we could get for that? 989 00:47:03,489 --> 00:47:04,656 -One? -Exactly. 990 00:47:04,740 --> 00:47:06,158 We'll take one when we go back. 991 00:47:06,241 --> 00:47:07,951 It's better when you're fucked up anyway. 992 00:47:08,035 --> 00:47:09,203 -Ah. -Oh. 993 00:47:09,286 --> 00:47:12,122 NOAH: We're here. Okay, look alive, everybody. 994 00:47:12,247 --> 00:47:14,666 This might be the last time we get to do this together, 995 00:47:14,750 --> 00:47:16,585 so let's make it count. 996 00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:19,546 Should we pray? I feel like we should pray. 997 00:47:19,671 --> 00:47:22,424 I'm gonna get so fucked up tonight I forget my own name. 998 00:47:22,508 --> 00:47:23,550 Amen. 999 00:47:24,510 --> 00:47:26,470 (ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1000 00:47:27,888 --> 00:47:29,932 NOAH: No week on Fire Island would be complete 1001 00:47:30,015 --> 00:47:33,185 if you didn't make an appearance at the underwear party. 1002 00:47:33,727 --> 00:47:36,772 It's the one party where everyone is invited. 1003 00:47:37,564 --> 00:47:41,902 The price of admission, just 20 bucks and a little bit of dignity. 1004 00:47:41,985 --> 00:47:43,278 Now, let's get in there. 1005 00:47:43,362 --> 00:47:45,697 -And get fucked up! -Yay! (LAUGHS) 1006 00:47:45,781 --> 00:47:47,741 ALL: Three, two, one. 1007 00:47:52,704 --> 00:47:55,082 Are you sure you should be taking Luke's floor pill? 1008 00:47:55,165 --> 00:47:56,417 We don't even know what it is. 1009 00:47:56,500 --> 00:47:58,585 Whatever. The world's gonna end in 15 years anyways. 1010 00:47:58,669 --> 00:48:01,171 I might as well go out in my underwear tonight. Right, guys? 1011 00:48:01,255 --> 00:48:02,965 -(LUKE WHOOPING) -(KEEGAN LAUGHING) 1012 00:48:03,257 --> 00:48:04,967 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1013 00:48:08,846 --> 00:48:09,930 Do you see Charlie? 1014 00:48:11,056 --> 00:48:12,349 No, but I have a lead. 1015 00:48:13,058 --> 00:48:15,060 -HOWIE: Let's go talk to him. -Do we have to? 1016 00:48:15,144 --> 00:48:16,728 He's not even wearing his underwear. 1017 00:48:16,812 --> 00:48:18,814 If you're gonna be at the party, be at the party. 1018 00:48:18,897 --> 00:48:20,107 Come on. Be nice. 1019 00:48:25,028 --> 00:48:27,281 Hey. Is Charlie with you? 1020 00:48:27,865 --> 00:48:30,242 -I think he's outside. -We should go outside then... 1021 00:48:30,325 --> 00:48:33,996 No, I'll go. You stay in case he comes back. 1022 00:48:34,121 --> 00:48:37,458 -That doesn't make any sense. -Yes, it does. 1023 00:48:39,418 --> 00:48:41,378 (ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1024 00:49:09,573 --> 00:49:12,576 NOAH: So, this has to be the drugs, right? 1025 00:49:28,425 --> 00:49:31,303 Hi. Got a quick sec? 1026 00:49:31,386 --> 00:49:32,387 Yeah. Sure. 1027 00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,355 Sorry to pull you away, it's just... 1028 00:49:41,980 --> 00:49:45,984 I wanted to talk to you about something, and it's a little awkward. 1029 00:49:46,860 --> 00:49:48,445 No worries. What's up? 1030 00:49:49,112 --> 00:49:51,657 I wanted to talk to you about Will. 1031 00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:53,617 Oh. Okay. Why? 1032 00:49:53,700 --> 00:49:57,371 He's such a great guy, right? And, like, so rich. 1033 00:49:57,454 --> 00:50:01,500 He owns a huge house in the Hills. I think he comes from money. 1034 00:50:01,583 --> 00:50:04,628 He's got, like, that rich, prep-school kind of trauma, 1035 00:50:04,836 --> 00:50:06,547 that's why his voice is so deep. 1036 00:50:07,756 --> 00:50:10,634 Plus he's, like, kind of hot, right? 1037 00:50:11,468 --> 00:50:13,554 -Sure. -So, you do think he's hot? 1038 00:50:14,221 --> 00:50:15,222 NOAH: Damn it. 1039 00:50:15,305 --> 00:50:16,557 COOPER: It's crazy, right? 1040 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,434 I'm not normally into like that kind of guy, but... 1041 00:50:19,518 --> 00:50:20,769 Like, an Asian guy? 1042 00:50:22,145 --> 00:50:24,898 Oh, my God, I did not say that. You said that. 1043 00:50:24,982 --> 00:50:26,608 Don't project that on me. 1044 00:50:26,692 --> 00:50:29,111 I actually really love that he's of a different culture. 1045 00:50:29,194 --> 00:50:30,529 Plus, I think his mom is white. 1046 00:50:31,947 --> 00:50:34,575 Uh, I'm so sorry. What are we talking about? 1047 00:50:35,242 --> 00:50:38,829 I just wanted to tell you, because you're a friend, 1048 00:50:38,912 --> 00:50:42,082 that, like, Charlie sort of brought Will here to hook up with me. 1049 00:50:42,165 --> 00:50:44,918 I'm moving to L. A. next year and I need a starter boyfriend. 1050 00:50:46,086 --> 00:50:47,588 And I saw you circling, 1051 00:50:48,255 --> 00:50:50,841 and I just wanna make sure things don't get awkward. 1052 00:50:50,924 --> 00:50:52,884 -Okay, hon? -I was not circling Will. 1053 00:50:52,968 --> 00:50:55,095 DEX: Hey. I was looking for you. 1054 00:50:55,554 --> 00:50:56,555 Um... 1055 00:50:56,888 --> 00:51:01,518 There is an emergency inside. It's medical. It's a medical emergency. 1056 00:51:01,602 --> 00:51:05,063 Oh, my God. Well, then I should go because I'm a nurse. 1057 00:51:05,147 --> 00:51:08,483 And, yeah, so I'm gonna go. But good luck with your little mission. 1058 00:51:09,151 --> 00:51:10,736 There's no medical emergency, right? 1059 00:51:10,819 --> 00:51:14,031 No, I was just thinking we could go absolutely nuts on the dance floor. 1060 00:51:17,576 --> 00:51:18,827 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1061 00:51:44,978 --> 00:51:48,190 I can't deal with these feels in my body 1062 00:51:48,315 --> 00:51:50,776 NOAH: Yeah, so, this is usually the moment 1063 00:51:50,859 --> 00:51:54,696 where I completely debase myself in a sweaty back room full of strangers. 1064 00:51:55,656 --> 00:51:56,657 But... 1065 00:51:56,740 --> 00:51:57,949 Wait. Have you seen Howie? 1066 00:51:59,034 --> 00:52:02,579 Don't be crazy. Charlie is a lock. Howie is happy. 1067 00:52:02,829 --> 00:52:03,997 Mission accomplished. 1068 00:52:04,790 --> 00:52:06,917 (GROANS) You know who else said that? 1069 00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,335 George W. Bush. 1070 00:52:09,795 --> 00:52:10,796 What? 1071 00:52:11,380 --> 00:52:14,049 NOAH: Confirmed. The drugs have definitely kicked in. 1072 00:52:27,979 --> 00:52:28,980 Fuck. 1073 00:52:29,981 --> 00:52:30,982 I got this. 1074 00:52:42,994 --> 00:52:44,705 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1075 00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:47,582 Huh. 1076 00:52:51,253 --> 00:52:52,796 What's he looking for? 1077 00:52:53,797 --> 00:52:55,757 -Shit! -(GROANS) 1078 00:52:55,841 --> 00:52:59,803 Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. Fuck. Let me see, let me see. 1079 00:52:59,886 --> 00:53:00,887 Oh. 1080 00:53:00,971 --> 00:53:03,473 Shit. How bad is it? What should I do? 1081 00:53:03,557 --> 00:53:04,683 In my professional opinion, 1082 00:53:04,766 --> 00:53:07,102 we need to shove a bunch of napkins up there. 1083 00:53:08,603 --> 00:53:11,982 Guys, if you wanna keep those jocks white, I would move. Get out of the way. 1084 00:53:12,065 --> 00:53:15,527 -Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? -I'm a little busy right now. 1085 00:53:15,610 --> 00:53:17,571 -Okay. Just be careful. -NOAH: What? 1086 00:53:17,654 --> 00:53:19,072 Dex is not a good guy. 1087 00:53:19,156 --> 00:53:21,324 -Why, because he has an OnlyFans? -What? No. 1088 00:53:21,408 --> 00:53:23,618 He doesn't have great things to say about you either. 1089 00:53:23,702 --> 00:53:26,997 Did I see you two naughty boys come out of the dark room together? 1090 00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,123 NOAH: Perfect. 1091 00:53:28,206 --> 00:53:30,625 It's so weird, Will, because he was just saying tonight 1092 00:53:30,709 --> 00:53:32,586 how he wasn't into you at all and now... 1093 00:53:32,669 --> 00:53:35,380 I didn't say that. I'm not, for the record, but... 1094 00:53:35,464 --> 00:53:36,631 Do my eyes look crazy? 1095 00:53:37,257 --> 00:53:39,509 My eyes look crazy. They're completely black. 1096 00:53:39,593 --> 00:53:42,220 No. They're fine... Actually, they are kind of weird. 1097 00:53:42,304 --> 00:53:43,305 What did you take? 1098 00:53:43,388 --> 00:53:45,265 I'm guessing he found some K. 1099 00:53:45,432 --> 00:53:48,435 Ketamine. Technically speaking, it's for horses. 1100 00:53:48,518 --> 00:53:50,312 -My God, is that Charlie? -NOAH: What? 1101 00:53:52,689 --> 00:53:54,065 Who the fuck is that? 1102 00:53:55,025 --> 00:53:57,402 And who is that? Is that me? 1103 00:53:57,611 --> 00:53:59,321 (GASPS) I'm gorgeous. 1104 00:53:59,404 --> 00:54:01,198 COOPER: That's Charlie's ex, Rhys. 1105 00:54:02,032 --> 00:54:03,909 We just flew him out this morning. 1106 00:54:03,992 --> 00:54:06,870 Well, I guess not "ex" anymore. 1107 00:54:06,953 --> 00:54:09,664 Yeah, Dex is the one I gotta watch out for. 1108 00:54:09,748 --> 00:54:11,166 I gotta find Howie. 1109 00:54:13,210 --> 00:54:14,628 -(CRYING) -Come on. 1110 00:54:17,714 --> 00:54:20,467 Um, you're gonna take this into the bathroom, fill it up, 1111 00:54:20,550 --> 00:54:22,886 and drink until you feel normal. Okay? 1112 00:54:22,969 --> 00:54:24,137 I am fine. 1113 00:54:25,472 --> 00:54:26,556 And smart. 1114 00:54:27,307 --> 00:54:28,308 And worth it. 1115 00:54:28,391 --> 00:54:32,020 Yes, baby, yes, you are. Now go hydrate. 1116 00:54:32,145 --> 00:54:33,146 (CRIES) 1117 00:54:38,443 --> 00:54:39,528 Hey. I found you. 1118 00:54:39,611 --> 00:54:40,904 Hey. 1119 00:54:41,321 --> 00:54:42,405 Ah. 1120 00:54:42,739 --> 00:54:44,991 I didn't even know I was lost. 1121 00:54:45,700 --> 00:54:46,827 (LAUGHS) Wow. 1122 00:54:47,702 --> 00:54:49,204 NOAH: MDMA. Molly. 1123 00:54:49,287 --> 00:54:52,082 Chemically impossible to have a bad night on it. 1124 00:54:52,165 --> 00:54:53,750 Even if you wanted to. 1125 00:54:53,834 --> 00:54:55,669 So, did you ever find Charlie? 1126 00:54:56,419 --> 00:54:58,046 -You saw him with that... -Oh, yeah. 1127 00:54:58,129 --> 00:55:01,383 That fucking Zac Efron-looking guy he's dry humping? 1128 00:55:01,466 --> 00:55:04,845 No, good for him. I love Neighbors 2. 1129 00:55:04,928 --> 00:55:08,014 It's the rare sequel that surpasses the original. 1130 00:55:08,849 --> 00:55:09,891 Are you okay? 1131 00:55:09,975 --> 00:55:12,602 I mean, you saw the guy. It's game over. 1132 00:55:12,686 --> 00:55:14,479 No. The night is young. You... 1133 00:55:14,563 --> 00:55:18,859 -Yeah, I can fuck anybody I want. -Oh. 1134 00:55:19,234 --> 00:55:23,947 -Let's get you off the ground, babe. -No, the ground is the new chair, baby! 1135 00:55:24,573 --> 00:55:26,199 Oh, fuck Charlie. 1136 00:55:26,283 --> 00:55:29,077 Next time, let's just stick to someone in my league. 1137 00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:30,912 -No, that's not... -Girl. 1138 00:55:30,996 --> 00:55:33,373 I just overheard some hot-ass people 1139 00:55:33,456 --> 00:55:36,167 talking about after kiki on Bay Walk. 1140 00:55:36,251 --> 00:55:37,627 And so many people going 1141 00:55:37,711 --> 00:55:39,754 that they not gonna know we wasn't invited. 1142 00:55:41,381 --> 00:55:42,591 Is he okay? 1143 00:55:42,674 --> 00:55:43,884 And that's G. 1144 00:55:43,967 --> 00:55:47,637 You do a little too much and you end up looking like, well, that. 1145 00:55:47,721 --> 00:55:49,264 Yeah, he fine. Can we go? 1146 00:55:49,347 --> 00:55:51,266 Yeah, we definitely need to get out of here. 1147 00:55:51,349 --> 00:55:53,894 You deal with that and I'm gonna go find Max. 1148 00:55:53,977 --> 00:55:56,146 Girl, what you doing? You gotta go to that party. 1149 00:55:56,229 --> 00:55:57,564 Okay. Okay. 1150 00:55:58,732 --> 00:56:00,317 (BOTH LAUGH AND CHEER) 1151 00:56:00,650 --> 00:56:02,068 KEEGAN: It's gonna be wild. 1152 00:56:02,652 --> 00:56:06,031 Max. Come on, Max, we gotta go. 1153 00:56:06,114 --> 00:56:07,324 What's a... Oh. 1154 00:56:07,407 --> 00:56:09,451 -MAN: Can I just shit in peace? -Shit. 1155 00:56:09,534 --> 00:56:10,785 At a party. 1156 00:56:12,913 --> 00:56:13,914 Hey. 1157 00:56:16,124 --> 00:56:19,169 If you're looking for your friends, they just got on a water taxi. 1158 00:56:19,252 --> 00:56:23,506 What? Those bitches. I'm the one without a phone. 1159 00:56:23,590 --> 00:56:26,593 I think it was the last taxi out and they panicked. 1160 00:56:26,676 --> 00:56:28,553 I told them I'd come find you. 1161 00:56:30,055 --> 00:56:31,598 I know where they're going, 1162 00:56:31,681 --> 00:56:34,351 we'd just have to cut through the Meat Rack. 1163 00:56:36,186 --> 00:56:37,187 Perfect. 1164 00:56:41,149 --> 00:56:42,692 You coming or what? 1165 00:56:46,071 --> 00:56:48,490 Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck! 1166 00:56:49,366 --> 00:56:52,994 For somebody who reads so much, you have a very narrow vocabulary. 1167 00:56:53,078 --> 00:56:54,454 You're really boring, you know? 1168 00:56:54,537 --> 00:56:56,414 Because I don't speak like a 13-year-old? 1169 00:56:56,498 --> 00:56:59,417 No. Because you're rude, elitist, smug, hella judgmental... 1170 00:56:59,501 --> 00:57:01,628 You seem to have a lot of opinions about someone 1171 00:57:01,711 --> 00:57:03,296 you've only known for three days. 1172 00:57:03,380 --> 00:57:06,716 That's funny. You had a lot of opinions about me after what? Three hours? 1173 00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:09,135 -What're You talking about? -God, how did you put it? 1174 00:57:09,219 --> 00:57:11,554 "He's not hot enough to be that annoying"? 1175 00:57:11,638 --> 00:57:13,056 Did Charlie tell you I said that? 1176 00:57:13,139 --> 00:57:14,683 That's what you're concerned about? 1177 00:57:14,766 --> 00:57:17,644 -No, I'm sorry, I just... -No, Charlie didn't tell me. 1178 00:57:17,727 --> 00:57:18,853 Are you happy? 1179 00:57:18,937 --> 00:57:20,480 God, say what you will about me, 1180 00:57:20,563 --> 00:57:23,149 but you barely even met Howie before you and your crew 1181 00:57:23,233 --> 00:57:25,193 decided he wasn't good enough for Charlie. 1182 00:57:25,276 --> 00:57:28,697 And then to pull this shit. Literally airdropping in his ex from Manhattan. 1183 00:57:28,780 --> 00:57:29,823 That's psychotic. 1184 00:57:29,906 --> 00:57:32,784 I didn't have anything to do with Rhys coming here. That was Cooper. 1185 00:57:32,867 --> 00:57:35,745 I can't stand Rhys. For the record, I like your friend. 1186 00:57:35,829 --> 00:57:37,872 Anything I did, I was doing to protect Charlie. 1187 00:57:37,956 --> 00:57:41,501 Protect Charlie? From who? From Howie? 1188 00:57:41,584 --> 00:57:45,171 Have you met him? I should've been protecting him from all of you people. 1189 00:57:45,255 --> 00:57:48,049 "You people"? What do I have in common with any of them? 1190 00:57:48,133 --> 00:57:51,302 I've never met somebody who made it so clear, so immediately, 1191 00:57:51,386 --> 00:57:53,805 that they think they're so superior than everybody else. 1192 00:57:53,888 --> 00:57:55,890 First I thought it was because you were rich, 1193 00:57:55,974 --> 00:57:57,642 but it's actually deeper than that. 1194 00:57:57,726 --> 00:58:00,854 You think if you let everybody know how miserable you are being gay, 1195 00:58:00,937 --> 00:58:02,772 it'll make you less of a faggot than us. 1196 00:58:02,856 --> 00:58:04,315 I don't think I'm better than you. 1197 00:58:04,399 --> 00:58:06,276 -You don't have to, everybody else does. -Who? 1198 00:58:06,359 --> 00:58:09,320 The whole fucking world. Dude, look at us. 1199 00:58:09,404 --> 00:58:11,948 Okay, you're this big, rich, successful lawyer 1200 00:58:12,032 --> 00:58:14,075 who might as well be straight. And I'm not. 1201 00:58:14,159 --> 00:58:15,702 You are spectacular. 1202 00:58:15,785 --> 00:58:18,288 You think you've got the whole world figured out, 1203 00:58:18,371 --> 00:58:20,790 but all you're doing is assuming the worst. 1204 00:58:20,874 --> 00:58:23,710 Makes it easier for you. You expect everyone to reject you, 1205 00:58:23,793 --> 00:58:25,879 so when somebody comes along and actually does, 1206 00:58:25,962 --> 00:58:27,464 it doesn't hurt so much. 1207 00:58:29,424 --> 00:58:31,217 The reality is, Noah, 1208 00:58:32,927 --> 00:58:34,888 no one's thinking that much about you. 1209 00:58:35,930 --> 00:58:39,267 You know what, I don't give a shit what you think about me. 1210 00:58:39,350 --> 00:58:41,644 -Fuck! -Oh, shit. You okay? 1211 00:58:41,728 --> 00:58:43,229 I'm fine. I got this. 1212 00:58:43,313 --> 00:58:45,273 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1213 00:58:48,610 --> 00:58:49,652 What are you doing? 1214 00:58:50,904 --> 00:58:51,905 You hate me. 1215 00:58:54,365 --> 00:58:56,659 I... I have to go. I'm gonna go. 1216 00:58:56,743 --> 00:58:58,828 And maybe you should just... 1217 00:58:58,912 --> 00:59:00,789 You know what, do whatever you want. 1218 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:07,921 (MUFFLED ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1219 00:59:15,553 --> 00:59:16,554 DEX: Hey. 1220 00:59:17,222 --> 00:59:18,431 Oh, hey. 1221 00:59:23,978 --> 00:59:26,940 -What happened to you? -Uh, have you seen Howie? 1222 00:59:27,023 --> 00:59:29,901 I can't find Luke. I think he's falling out. 1223 00:59:29,984 --> 00:59:31,069 Is that news? 1224 00:59:31,152 --> 00:59:32,862 Well, we have to get him home. 1225 00:59:32,946 --> 00:59:34,906 Okay, go find Howie. I'll take care of this. 1226 00:59:34,989 --> 00:59:36,074 Thank you. 1227 00:59:38,868 --> 00:59:40,912 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1228 00:59:48,753 --> 00:59:50,505 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1229 00:59:56,344 --> 00:59:58,346 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1230 01:00:03,101 --> 01:00:04,102 Howie? 1231 01:00:05,895 --> 01:00:07,272 (ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 1232 01:00:07,689 --> 01:00:09,482 Okay, thank you. Worth a shot. 1233 01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:13,486 Hey, you will never guess what just happened to me. 1234 01:00:14,154 --> 01:00:16,406 You fell in a bunch of mud? 1235 01:00:16,489 --> 01:00:18,616 Uh, yeah. Do you wanna get out of here? 1236 01:00:18,700 --> 01:00:20,952 Actually, he was just about to leave with me. 1237 01:00:21,035 --> 01:00:23,454 -NOAH: Uh, no, he's not. -Jealous. 1238 01:00:24,414 --> 01:00:27,667 You know, I've got a big bed, room enough for three. 1239 01:00:27,750 --> 01:00:30,044 -Thanks. But we're gonna pass. -I'm not. 1240 01:00:30,587 --> 01:00:31,588 What? 1241 01:00:33,298 --> 01:00:34,632 Can you excuse us for a second? 1242 01:00:34,716 --> 01:00:37,969 -I need to talk to you upstairs. -HOWIE: What are you doing? What? 1243 01:00:41,931 --> 01:00:44,684 -What are you doing? -Exactly what you told me to do. 1244 01:00:44,767 --> 01:00:47,145 Not with that guy, though. Anybody but that guy. 1245 01:00:47,228 --> 01:00:48,229 -He's into me. -Yeah. 1246 01:00:48,313 --> 01:00:52,901 And he has, like, five anime tattoos. You said no settling, that is settling. 1247 01:00:52,984 --> 01:00:55,653 And you said this was supposed to make me feel good. 1248 01:00:55,737 --> 01:00:59,657 Well, guess what? I don't feel good. I feel really fucking bad right now. 1249 01:00:59,741 --> 01:01:02,076 But fucking some rice queen won't make you feel better. 1250 01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:04,621 -There are plenty of other guys... -For you! 1251 01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:05,705 For you, too! 1252 01:01:05,788 --> 01:01:08,875 No, stop it. Stop talking about this like we're the same! 1253 01:01:10,627 --> 01:01:11,586 But we are. 1254 01:01:12,253 --> 01:01:13,630 You and me. Fuck the rest. 1255 01:01:13,713 --> 01:01:14,714 No, stop! 1256 01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:18,927 You wanna feel so good so badly that you did all this. 1257 01:01:19,594 --> 01:01:22,764 And now you want me to feel good, too. Because you... 1258 01:01:22,847 --> 01:01:25,725 I don't know, you feel guilty? I don't really give a shit. 1259 01:01:25,808 --> 01:01:30,230 But stop pretending like you don't understand how the world works. 1260 01:01:33,191 --> 01:01:34,400 That's really unfair. 1261 01:01:35,652 --> 01:01:36,736 Fuck you. 1262 01:02:06,933 --> 01:02:07,976 (SIGHS SOFTLY) 1263 01:02:28,663 --> 01:02:32,583 NOAH: Don't tell anybody, but I think I might've fucked up. 1264 01:02:43,845 --> 01:02:45,847 -I cannot believe you left us there. -Wake up! 1265 01:02:45,930 --> 01:02:49,017 -How are you still sleeping? -MAX: I was out of my mind! Okay? 1266 01:02:49,100 --> 01:02:51,102 -KEEGAN: You still rolling, girl. -One at a time. 1267 01:02:51,185 --> 01:02:53,271 -Howie still isn't home. -Neither is Luke. 1268 01:02:53,354 --> 01:02:56,190 Thanks for your help last night. 'Cause now he's missing. 1269 01:02:56,274 --> 01:02:58,526 I swear, if something happened to him... 1270 01:02:58,609 --> 01:03:00,570 Like, we were making a podcast. 1271 01:03:00,653 --> 01:03:01,863 And this came for you. 1272 01:03:02,697 --> 01:03:03,906 What the fuck is this? 1273 01:03:03,990 --> 01:03:08,161 Oh, that horrible friend of Charlie's... What's his name? Wu? Womb? 1274 01:03:08,244 --> 01:03:12,206 Will? Is this a letter? What does it say? 1275 01:03:12,290 --> 01:03:14,625 We don't know. Max wouldn't let us read it. 1276 01:03:17,253 --> 01:03:20,298 Oh, okay. I'm gonna go read this inside. 1277 01:03:20,381 --> 01:03:23,843 Wait! Can you at least tell us what it says? 1278 01:03:23,926 --> 01:03:27,388 Please? Come on, we are so bored, girl. 1279 01:03:31,184 --> 01:03:34,437 WILL: "Hey. I know this isn't the ideal way to do this, 1280 01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:37,065 "but you don't have a phone at the moment, 1281 01:03:37,148 --> 01:03:41,444 "and I thought it might be best to do this sooner rather than later. 1282 01:03:42,362 --> 01:03:44,197 "So, let me say, sincerely, 1283 01:03:45,656 --> 01:03:46,866 "I'm sorry. 1284 01:03:50,995 --> 01:03:52,872 "For what I said that first night. 1285 01:03:54,374 --> 01:03:55,541 "For everything. 1286 01:03:58,753 --> 01:04:03,299 "Beyond that, I did wanna clarify one thing, about Dex. 1287 01:04:04,550 --> 01:04:07,220 "He's not the person he presents himself to be. 1288 01:04:09,514 --> 01:04:11,849 "I promise, my dislike of him has nothing to do 1289 01:04:11,933 --> 01:04:13,309 "with whatever he told you, 1290 01:04:13,393 --> 01:04:16,896 "and everything to do with what he did to someone I'm close to. 1291 01:04:17,980 --> 01:04:22,485 "Just know he is exceptionally good at hiding who he really is. 1292 01:04:23,319 --> 01:04:25,029 "I hope you can forgive me, 1293 01:04:25,113 --> 01:04:28,699 "and that maybe eventually we could even be friends. 1294 01:04:29,617 --> 01:04:31,202 "Sincerely, Will." 1295 01:04:33,538 --> 01:04:34,539 (SCOFFS) 1296 01:04:35,123 --> 01:04:36,165 What the fuck? 1297 01:04:37,417 --> 01:04:38,584 We have a situation. 1298 01:04:39,293 --> 01:04:40,878 What the fuck is he doing here? 1299 01:04:40,962 --> 01:04:43,131 He showed up saying he needed to talk to Howie. 1300 01:04:43,214 --> 01:04:46,134 They're in the one place that's impossible to eavesdrop on. 1301 01:04:46,217 --> 01:04:49,262 -NOAH: (SIGHS) When did Howie get back? -A little while ago. 1302 01:04:49,345 --> 01:04:51,389 Did something happen between you two? 1303 01:04:51,472 --> 01:04:55,059 I don't know. I think he... I think he blames me for that. 1304 01:04:55,143 --> 01:04:58,354 But I told him from the start, don't get sucked into one guy's orbit. 1305 01:04:58,438 --> 01:05:00,273 Especially that guy. 1306 01:05:00,356 --> 01:05:04,277 And I've been focused all week on him and his happiness and getting him laid. 1307 01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,904 And I didn't think it would solve all his problems, 1308 01:05:06,988 --> 01:05:09,824 but I thought I could make him feel hot and powerful for a week. 1309 01:05:09,907 --> 01:05:11,993 Is sex what makes you feel hot and powerful? 1310 01:05:12,076 --> 01:05:14,120 No. I'm hot and powerful, so I have a lot of sex. 1311 01:05:14,203 --> 01:05:16,998 I just thought I could reverse-engineer it a little bit. 1312 01:05:17,790 --> 01:05:20,877 But... I think I can still fix this. I just... 1313 01:05:22,003 --> 01:05:24,172 (SIGHS) I don't know. It's complicated. 1314 01:05:24,255 --> 01:05:26,382 "Complicated"? Please. Wanna know what I think... 1315 01:05:26,466 --> 01:05:29,594 Babe, I love you, but this is me and Howie. It's serious. 1316 01:05:29,677 --> 01:05:31,971 Oh. Fuck you. Listen. 1317 01:05:32,054 --> 01:05:34,807 I know you all think I'm some old, ridiculous burnout, 1318 01:05:34,891 --> 01:05:39,270 but I had a whole life before I met you, and it used to look a lot like yours. 1319 01:05:39,353 --> 01:05:41,481 I had lovers, and friends, 1320 01:05:41,564 --> 01:05:44,066 summers in Cherry Grove with lesbians my own age. 1321 01:05:44,150 --> 01:05:47,737 -And I thought I had it all figured out. -Babe, I know all your stories. 1322 01:05:47,820 --> 01:05:50,907 Yes, the fun ones. Not the ones where I fucked it up. 1323 01:05:50,990 --> 01:05:54,368 I tried to fix everyone, but what I was doing is, over time, 1324 01:05:54,452 --> 01:05:56,954 slowly pushing everyone I cared about out of my life. 1325 01:05:57,038 --> 01:06:00,291 Until my only friends were a group of boys half my age 1326 01:06:00,374 --> 01:06:03,044 who only put up with me because I have a house on Fire Island. 1327 01:06:03,127 --> 01:06:04,670 That's not true. We love you. 1328 01:06:04,754 --> 01:06:07,840 That's sweet. But you're missing the point. 1329 01:06:07,924 --> 01:06:10,218 Howie doesn't need anyone to fix him. 1330 01:06:10,301 --> 01:06:13,304 Not you, not this island, not anything. 1331 01:06:14,263 --> 01:06:16,182 He just needs a friend. 1332 01:06:16,265 --> 01:06:18,100 He'll be just fine. You'll see. 1333 01:06:23,231 --> 01:06:24,941 Oh, my God! My baby's drowning! 1334 01:06:30,238 --> 01:06:34,283 So Charlie's ex has Lyme disease? 1335 01:06:34,367 --> 01:06:36,118 -MAX: Seriously? -ERIN: Please. 1336 01:06:36,202 --> 01:06:38,496 KEEGAN: It's like that thing Yolanda Hadid has? 1337 01:06:39,247 --> 01:06:44,126 Yeah, he just found out. And, now, Charlie, you know... 1338 01:06:46,212 --> 01:06:49,382 Wants to be supportive because he says it's really serious. 1339 01:06:49,465 --> 01:06:51,592 NOAH: Oh, my God. That's clearly bullshit. 1340 01:06:51,676 --> 01:06:53,135 You saw that guy last night. He... 1341 01:06:53,219 --> 01:06:56,013 Yeah, Charlie probably made it up because he feels bad. 1342 01:06:56,097 --> 01:06:59,892 -No, that's not what I was gonna say. -What difference does it make? 1343 01:07:06,357 --> 01:07:07,358 (SCOFFS) 1344 01:07:36,220 --> 01:07:37,555 NOAH: I don't think so. 1345 01:07:42,184 --> 01:07:44,228 You just twist your blind a little bit. 1346 01:07:44,312 --> 01:07:45,479 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1347 01:07:45,730 --> 01:07:47,690 Leave the door ajar. 1348 01:07:49,692 --> 01:07:52,028 And let the whole salad bar hang out, honey. 1349 01:07:52,111 --> 01:07:53,821 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1350 01:07:54,363 --> 01:07:56,407 So we brought sandwiches to the room... 1351 01:07:56,490 --> 01:07:58,034 -No microwave, honey. -Hey, weirdo. 1352 01:07:58,117 --> 01:08:00,036 You dropped your ice cream back there. 1353 01:08:00,745 --> 01:08:01,746 Oh. 1354 01:08:02,413 --> 01:08:03,998 I wasn't sure you'd want to see me. 1355 01:08:04,081 --> 01:08:06,208 So you ran away? 1356 01:08:06,292 --> 01:08:07,668 Returning the favor. 1357 01:08:07,752 --> 01:08:08,711 Very funny. 1358 01:08:09,378 --> 01:08:10,504 I got your letter. 1359 01:08:12,256 --> 01:08:13,299 I see. Uh... 1360 01:08:14,050 --> 01:08:15,885 -So are we... -Good? 1361 01:08:17,219 --> 01:08:18,262 We're good. 1362 01:08:18,929 --> 01:08:22,600 I am, however, a little pissed at your friend right now. Lyme disease? 1363 01:08:22,683 --> 01:08:24,518 You kidding me? Does he even like that guy? 1364 01:08:24,602 --> 01:08:27,897 I don't know. Can we... Can we talk about something else? 1365 01:08:27,980 --> 01:08:30,566 Sure. Let's talk about Dex. 1366 01:08:30,650 --> 01:08:33,611 You send me this weird letter like a Victorian ghost, 1367 01:08:33,694 --> 01:08:36,364 filled with all these vague details about the past. 1368 01:08:36,447 --> 01:08:38,199 It's not really my story to tell. 1369 01:08:38,449 --> 01:08:41,202 But look at this, and it'll give you a clearer picture 1370 01:08:41,285 --> 01:08:43,496 of the kind of person he really is. 1371 01:08:43,579 --> 01:08:45,456 He has an Instagram. What a villain. 1372 01:08:46,457 --> 01:08:48,834 Okay. So he has some thotty pictures. 1373 01:08:48,918 --> 01:08:51,921 But it doesn't make him a bad guy necessarily. 1374 01:08:52,963 --> 01:08:54,423 -Oh. -Just be careful. 1375 01:08:55,466 --> 01:08:56,926 You have to trust me. 1376 01:08:57,009 --> 01:08:58,719 Like we're friends or something? 1377 01:08:59,387 --> 01:09:00,471 Something like that. 1378 01:09:02,014 --> 01:09:04,183 -I'm not an easy guy to be friends with. -Shocking. 1379 01:09:04,266 --> 01:09:05,851 Oh, yeah, right. And you are? 1380 01:09:06,852 --> 01:09:10,106 DRAG QUEEN: 'Cause you know what? It's time for the dance-off! 1381 01:09:10,189 --> 01:09:12,149 I have a lot of friends, actually. 1382 01:09:13,192 --> 01:09:14,944 I'm a very fun-loving person. 1383 01:09:15,027 --> 01:09:16,612 -(CLICKS TONGUE) Really? -Yep. 1384 01:09:16,696 --> 01:09:17,697 Prove it. 1385 01:09:17,780 --> 01:09:20,866 I need some new blood though, honey. You come every single week. 1386 01:09:20,950 --> 01:09:21,951 -Good grief. -Over here! 1387 01:09:22,034 --> 01:09:25,121 -No. I... That wasn't... -You said you were fun. Be fun. 1388 01:09:25,204 --> 01:09:26,205 DRAG QUEEN: You, you. 1389 01:09:26,288 --> 01:09:28,290 -NOAH: Over here. -Honey, you had too many shots. 1390 01:09:28,374 --> 01:09:32,253 Yeah, very eager. Hey. Hi, gorgeous, come on up. 1391 01:09:32,336 --> 01:09:33,713 (IN SING-SONG VOICE) Hello! 1392 01:09:33,796 --> 01:09:35,715 Stand in line over here. 1393 01:09:35,798 --> 01:09:38,801 All right. So, what is your name? 1394 01:09:38,884 --> 01:09:39,885 Will. 1395 01:09:39,969 --> 01:09:42,930 Hi, Will. Everybody say hey! 1396 01:09:43,055 --> 01:09:44,140 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1397 01:09:44,432 --> 01:09:46,851 -Have you ever done a dance-off before? -No. 1398 01:09:48,018 --> 01:09:50,521 (LAUGHING) 1399 01:09:50,604 --> 01:09:53,357 Okay. Are you excited for the dance-off? 1400 01:09:53,441 --> 01:09:54,442 Yep. 1401 01:09:54,608 --> 01:09:56,527 (MIMICS ROBOT) "Yes, I'm excited." 1402 01:09:56,610 --> 01:09:57,778 (IN NORMAL VOICE) Okay. 1403 01:09:57,862 --> 01:09:59,905 DJ Max is gonna put on some music. 1404 01:09:59,989 --> 01:10:02,867 And you just, you know, shake your groove thing. Right? 1405 01:10:02,950 --> 01:10:06,203 -Y'all ready to see it? DJ, stick it in. -(AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1406 01:10:06,328 --> 01:10:09,415 -(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) -Come on, everybody get sexy now. 1407 01:10:09,498 --> 01:10:13,002 Feel the beat. Okay, Will. 1408 01:10:13,919 --> 01:10:17,882 All right. Okay, get to the front. Let's see what you really got, honey. 1409 01:10:17,965 --> 01:10:19,383 All right, Will. Let's go. 1410 01:10:19,467 --> 01:10:20,468 Uh 1411 01:10:22,094 --> 01:10:23,137 Uh, uh 1412 01:10:23,220 --> 01:10:25,097 Get sexy. Ooh. Ooh. 1413 01:10:25,473 --> 01:10:26,682 (CHUCKLES) Get sexy. 1414 01:10:26,766 --> 01:10:29,643 Yeah. Okay, somebody's been studying! 1415 01:10:30,352 --> 01:10:33,481 Yes. That's right. Think Paula Abdul. 1416 01:10:34,523 --> 01:10:38,068 Yes, okay. Not RoboCop, Paula Abdul. 1417 01:10:38,444 --> 01:10:41,071 -(AUDIENCE MEMBER CHEERS) -(LAUGHS) 1418 01:10:41,614 --> 01:10:45,743 Oh, Will, babe. Okay, the '90s. Just straight up the '90s. 1419 01:10:45,910 --> 01:10:49,330 Okay. Yes, okay. West Side Story. 1420 01:10:49,413 --> 01:10:51,791 In the '90s. Okay! 1421 01:10:52,625 --> 01:10:53,709 Oh, Will! 1422 01:10:53,793 --> 01:10:55,336 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1423 01:10:56,587 --> 01:10:58,964 Okay. Okay, oh, yeah, yeah. 1424 01:10:59,131 --> 01:11:00,299 (LAUGHS) 1425 01:11:00,591 --> 01:11:02,927 You got your eye on somebody. All right! 1426 01:11:06,430 --> 01:11:09,058 (SOFT INDIE MUSIC PLAYING) 1427 01:12:18,794 --> 01:12:21,088 -KEEGAN: Girl, come on. Tell us. -Not now. Later. 1428 01:12:21,171 --> 01:12:22,631 -But we wanna know now. -Stop! 1429 01:12:22,715 --> 01:12:24,675 -You were gone forever yesterday. -Stop. 1430 01:12:24,758 --> 01:12:26,927 -And no texts, nothing. -We thought you were dead. 1431 01:12:27,011 --> 01:12:29,972 -Okay. Well, I'm here now. Okay? -Well, who was it? 1432 01:12:30,055 --> 01:12:31,765 Who even says I was with someone? 1433 01:12:31,849 --> 01:12:35,811 Guys, remember when he got locked in that guy's bathroom for six hours? 1434 01:12:35,895 --> 01:12:38,814 Maybe he got locked in two different bathrooms. That's half a day. 1435 01:12:38,898 --> 01:12:41,901 Okay. Well, for your information, actually, I was with a guy. 1436 01:12:41,984 --> 01:12:43,903 -I knew it. -LUKE: Sorry, Noah. 1437 01:12:43,986 --> 01:12:46,697 Looks like I'm the hot one now. 1438 01:12:46,780 --> 01:12:48,866 (MAN SINGING ON STAGE) 1439 01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:52,661 -He got locked in a bathroom again. -Without question. 1440 01:12:52,745 --> 01:12:53,913 (CHUCKLES) 1441 01:12:56,874 --> 01:12:59,835 Okay, ma'am, how long are you gonna be mad at me? 1442 01:12:59,919 --> 01:13:02,546 -Sir, I'm not mad at you. -This is the longest 1443 01:13:02,630 --> 01:13:05,633 you've not talked to me since I said Call Me By Your Name was boring. 1444 01:13:05,716 --> 01:13:08,093 I'm sorry it's not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 1445 01:13:08,177 --> 01:13:11,180 -EMCEE: Next, we've got Howie! -What? No, I didn't... 1446 01:13:11,263 --> 01:13:13,057 -LUKE: We did. You have to. -No, I can't... 1447 01:13:13,140 --> 01:13:14,725 KEEGAN: Come on. It's tradition. 1448 01:13:14,808 --> 01:13:16,936 -AUDIENCE MEMBER: Hey! -(AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1449 01:13:17,019 --> 01:13:18,520 (AUDIENCE WHISTLING) 1450 01:13:20,648 --> 01:13:21,774 (AUDIENCE MEMBER 2 WHOOPS) 1451 01:13:23,817 --> 01:13:25,152 (SOMETIMES PLAYING) 1452 01:13:25,402 --> 01:13:26,570 (AUDIENCE MEMBER 2 WHOOPS) 1453 01:13:34,036 --> 01:13:37,122 You tell me you're in love with me 1454 01:13:38,582 --> 01:13:43,087 Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me 1455 01:13:43,712 --> 01:13:47,424 It's not that I don't wanna stay 1456 01:13:48,384 --> 01:13:52,388 But every time you come too close I move away 1457 01:13:52,471 --> 01:13:54,807 -BOTH: Ooh -I wanna believe 1458 01:13:54,890 --> 01:13:57,726 In everything that you say 1459 01:13:58,185 --> 01:14:01,271 'Cause it sounds so good 1460 01:14:01,355 --> 01:14:06,068 ALL: But if you really want me Move slow 1461 01:14:06,151 --> 01:14:09,989 There's things about me you just have to know 1462 01:14:10,072 --> 01:14:11,532 Sometimes I run 1463 01:14:12,700 --> 01:14:15,035 Sometimes I hide 1464 01:14:15,119 --> 01:14:17,830 Sometimes I'm scared of you 1465 01:14:17,913 --> 01:14:22,710 But all I really want is to hold you tight 1466 01:14:22,793 --> 01:14:27,756 Treat you right Be with you day and night 1467 01:14:27,840 --> 01:14:30,175 Baby, all I need is time 1468 01:14:30,259 --> 01:14:32,845 Just hang around and you'll see 1469 01:14:32,928 --> 01:14:35,639 There's nowhere I'd rather be 1470 01:14:35,723 --> 01:14:39,935 If you love me, trust in me 1471 01:14:40,019 --> 01:14:44,773 The way that I trust in you 1472 01:14:44,857 --> 01:14:46,442 MAN: We love you, girls! 1473 01:14:46,567 --> 01:14:48,110 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1474 01:14:48,444 --> 01:14:50,988 -(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) -(CHUCKLING) Shut up. 1475 01:14:53,157 --> 01:14:54,825 AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: I know all the words. 1476 01:14:54,908 --> 01:14:56,702 Sometimes I run 1477 01:14:56,785 --> 01:14:57,828 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1478 01:14:57,911 --> 01:14:59,788 Sometimes I hide 1479 01:14:59,872 --> 01:15:03,167 Sometimes I'm scared of you 1480 01:15:03,250 --> 01:15:08,005 But all I really want is to hold you tight 1481 01:15:08,088 --> 01:15:12,760 Treat you right Be with you day and night 1482 01:15:12,843 --> 01:15:16,430 Baby, all I need is time 1483 01:15:16,513 --> 01:15:19,308 -AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: Give it to me! -(ALL CHEERING) 1484 01:15:23,395 --> 01:15:25,064 Come on, girls! 1485 01:15:26,565 --> 01:15:27,566 (SCREAMS) 1486 01:15:29,151 --> 01:15:31,070 (GASPING) 1487 01:15:31,195 --> 01:15:32,946 KEEGAN: Girl, what's the matter? 1488 01:15:33,030 --> 01:15:34,031 -More words, okay? -Luke! 1489 01:15:34,114 --> 01:15:36,658 -What's going on? -My poor Luke! 1490 01:15:36,742 --> 01:15:39,328 Poor me? What? Oh, my God. 1491 01:15:41,163 --> 01:15:42,206 Is that me? 1492 01:15:42,915 --> 01:15:43,999 What the fuck? 1493 01:15:46,460 --> 01:15:48,045 Fuck, is that Dex? 1494 01:15:48,128 --> 01:15:51,673 -Why are you in a video with Dex? -My friend Jonathan sent it to me. 1495 01:15:51,757 --> 01:15:54,718 Some guy named TJ screen-recorded it and sent it to Greg, 1496 01:15:54,802 --> 01:15:57,137 who recognized Luke, then sent it to Jonathan! 1497 01:15:57,221 --> 01:16:00,099 Probably half the cater-waiters on the Lower East Side have seen it. 1498 01:16:00,182 --> 01:16:02,518 There's not much to do between courses besides jerk off. 1499 01:16:02,601 --> 01:16:04,478 This is bad, that's my whole face. 1500 01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:07,231 Did he tell you he was gonna do that? If it was okay? 1501 01:16:07,314 --> 01:16:08,398 What do you think? 1502 01:16:08,482 --> 01:16:10,317 I don't know. I don't remember. 1503 01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:13,278 I was so fucked up I barely remember having sex with him. 1504 01:16:13,362 --> 01:16:14,363 This is not cool. 1505 01:16:14,446 --> 01:16:16,990 But I remember I woke up in the morning and he was there. 1506 01:16:17,074 --> 01:16:19,243 And we spent the whole day mostly fucking, 1507 01:16:19,326 --> 01:16:21,245 which I definitely consented to that. 1508 01:16:21,328 --> 01:16:24,373 And I thought the whole thing was kind of romantic until right now. 1509 01:16:24,456 --> 01:16:26,291 -NOAH: Give me that. -What are you gonna do? 1510 01:16:26,375 --> 01:16:28,877 Please don't do anything insane. Just have him take it down. 1511 01:16:28,961 --> 01:16:31,797 I don't want him mad at me, so don't be all Noah about it. 1512 01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:33,090 NOAH: I'm gonna kill him. 1513 01:16:33,173 --> 01:16:34,174 Sure. 1514 01:16:34,883 --> 01:16:38,137 -Luke, I'm so sor... -What the fuck! That is so fucked up! 1515 01:16:38,762 --> 01:16:40,514 You'll be happy to know you were right. 1516 01:16:40,597 --> 01:16:42,641 I'm gonna be honest. This feels like a trap. 1517 01:16:45,269 --> 01:16:47,604 -Why am I looking at pornography? -Look closer. 1518 01:16:49,940 --> 01:16:53,819 -I'm gonna kill him. -No, wait. I said that. That's my thing. 1519 01:16:56,822 --> 01:16:58,740 -Hey, what's up? -Fucking little shit! 1520 01:17:02,870 --> 01:17:04,913 -What the fuck? -Look familiar? 1521 01:17:04,997 --> 01:17:05,998 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 1522 01:17:06,081 --> 01:17:08,834 Okay. I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding, okay? 1523 01:17:08,917 --> 01:17:10,085 You don't get to be dry. 1524 01:17:10,169 --> 01:17:13,088 If you're pissed because I fucked your friend instead of you, 1525 01:17:13,172 --> 01:17:14,882 -the least you could've... -Nice try. 1526 01:17:14,965 --> 01:17:18,343 I'm pissed because you're a loser and a fraud who takes advantage of people. 1527 01:17:18,427 --> 01:17:20,345 He was willing. More than I can say for you. 1528 01:17:20,429 --> 01:17:22,723 He didn't know you'd put this online! That's... 1529 01:17:22,806 --> 01:17:23,807 WILL: A crime. 1530 01:17:25,225 --> 01:17:27,728 Without some sort of written waiver of consent, 1531 01:17:27,811 --> 01:17:31,148 this meets the criteria under New York state law for revenge porn. 1532 01:17:32,232 --> 01:17:36,445 Add in the illegal substances involved and you're looking at jail time, 1533 01:17:36,528 --> 01:17:39,656 a hefty fine, and registration as a sex offender. 1534 01:17:39,740 --> 01:17:42,159 -Hold on. We do not have... -Speaking with the victim, 1535 01:17:42,242 --> 01:17:44,578 I think we can resolve this matter right now. 1536 01:17:46,955 --> 01:17:47,956 How? 1537 01:17:48,040 --> 01:17:51,752 WILL: Delete the video on your phone and your website for starters. 1538 01:17:51,835 --> 01:17:52,920 Now. 1539 01:17:54,338 --> 01:17:56,089 WILL: I would make it my personal mission 1540 01:17:56,173 --> 01:17:59,176 to make sure these videos disappear forever. 1541 01:17:59,259 --> 01:18:01,136 And you have to delete your Instagram. 1542 01:18:01,220 --> 01:18:04,014 -What? No way! -I don't think we can make him do that. 1543 01:18:04,097 --> 01:18:06,433 If a judge saw the Instagram, they'd be on my side. 1544 01:18:07,517 --> 01:18:08,894 Fuck, just check his phone. 1545 01:18:14,316 --> 01:18:15,859 Awesome. We're done here. 1546 01:18:19,321 --> 01:18:22,491 -Those are waterproof now, you know. -Don't ruin this for me. 1547 01:18:23,116 --> 01:18:25,244 NOAH: Shut the fuck up! You made that up? 1548 01:18:25,327 --> 01:18:30,290 Some of it. Some of it was a little bit of an exaggeration. 1549 01:18:30,374 --> 01:18:32,376 Holy shit! You Legally Blonde'd him. 1550 01:18:32,459 --> 01:18:34,753 -Oh, my God. -Sorry, I don't know what that is. 1551 01:18:35,921 --> 01:18:37,089 You don't know what... 1552 01:18:37,172 --> 01:18:40,884 Oh, my God! We were having such a nice moment, and you had to ruin it. 1553 01:18:40,968 --> 01:18:41,969 (CHUCKLES) 1554 01:18:42,052 --> 01:18:45,180 Is that what you do in L. A.? Big trial lawyer like the... 1555 01:18:45,264 --> 01:18:47,557 No, I work for a nonprofit. 1556 01:18:48,642 --> 01:18:51,853 Mostly tenants' rights stuff, wrongful evictions. 1557 01:18:51,937 --> 01:18:53,146 Nothing sexy. 1558 01:18:54,606 --> 01:18:55,649 Yeah. Sure. 1559 01:18:56,608 --> 01:18:58,735 I'm just happy that I could help, you know? 1560 01:18:59,820 --> 01:19:00,862 Dex, he... 1561 01:19:02,155 --> 01:19:06,410 He's never really been concerned about enthusiastic consent. 1562 01:19:06,493 --> 01:19:09,329 Just... I couldn't do much last time. 1563 01:19:09,413 --> 01:19:11,123 My friend, he was embarrassed, I think, 1564 01:19:11,206 --> 01:19:13,500 and didn't want us to talk about it, so we didn't. 1565 01:19:13,583 --> 01:19:15,377 And Dex got to keep his image. 1566 01:19:15,836 --> 01:19:18,505 Yeah, well, people will talk about it now. 1567 01:19:19,006 --> 01:19:20,382 I've got a real big mouth. 1568 01:19:20,465 --> 01:19:23,218 I don't know how things work in L. A., but in New York, 1569 01:19:23,302 --> 01:19:24,970 we've ostracized people for way less. 1570 01:19:25,679 --> 01:19:27,139 That's something, at least. 1571 01:19:30,225 --> 01:19:31,226 Hey, um... 1572 01:19:32,144 --> 01:19:34,730 Seriously, thank you. I owe you one. 1573 01:19:40,152 --> 01:19:41,862 Time on Fire Island... 1574 01:19:46,825 --> 01:19:49,578 Sometimes it feels like it stretches on forever. 1575 01:19:56,376 --> 01:19:57,461 LUKE: Hey! 1576 01:19:58,211 --> 01:19:59,296 So, what happened? 1577 01:20:00,213 --> 01:20:01,381 I'll be up in a minute. 1578 01:20:02,132 --> 01:20:03,133 LUKE: Come on. 1579 01:20:06,720 --> 01:20:07,971 Sure you don't wanna come up? 1580 01:20:08,055 --> 01:20:11,475 Yeah, no, I'm not very good at parties. So... 1581 01:20:11,558 --> 01:20:14,311 -What? You're not good at parties? -Uh... 1582 01:20:14,811 --> 01:20:16,980 -Not Will! No. -All right. 1583 01:20:17,064 --> 01:20:19,775 -Not good at parties? What? -Calm down. (CHUCKLES) 1584 01:20:31,661 --> 01:20:33,205 So I pushed him in the pool, 1585 01:20:33,288 --> 01:20:35,374 and he looked up at me and said, "I love you." 1586 01:20:35,457 --> 01:20:37,709 And I said, "You don't know what love is." 1587 01:20:37,793 --> 01:20:39,503 And then I realized, "You're ugly." 1588 01:20:39,586 --> 01:20:41,797 Can't believe you're letting him tell your story. 1589 01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:45,342 Yeah, I think this is just his way of processing things. 1590 01:20:46,843 --> 01:20:48,011 Where did Will go? 1591 01:20:48,470 --> 01:20:49,596 Why would I know that? 1592 01:20:49,679 --> 01:20:52,349 You don't have to do this. You don't have to worry about me. 1593 01:20:52,432 --> 01:20:54,226 You can fuck whoever you want. 1594 01:20:54,309 --> 01:20:57,354 Okay, that is definitely not what I am looking for. 1595 01:20:57,437 --> 01:21:00,190 And by the way, I'm not done worrying about you. 1596 01:21:00,273 --> 01:21:02,901 If I hadn't pushed you, literally pushed you, then... 1597 01:21:02,984 --> 01:21:05,779 I told you, I'm fine with the Charlie of it all. 1598 01:21:05,862 --> 01:21:08,323 -And honestly... -Are you talking about me? 1599 01:21:08,407 --> 01:21:10,867 No. We're talking about our other friend Charlie. 1600 01:21:11,535 --> 01:21:13,495 He died in a fire. 1601 01:21:13,578 --> 01:21:14,955 It's really sad. 1602 01:21:15,205 --> 01:21:17,082 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 1603 01:21:17,332 --> 01:21:19,584 -Ignore him. Did you have fun? -(CHUCKLES) 1604 01:21:19,751 --> 01:21:22,629 I did. Yes. We don't usually go to karaoke. 1605 01:21:22,796 --> 01:21:27,676 Just the parties. So, I was glad that you showed it to me before Rhys... 1606 01:21:27,759 --> 01:21:31,138 Choo-choo, where's my vodka soda? Baby's thirsty. 1607 01:21:31,805 --> 01:21:32,806 Uh... 1608 01:21:32,889 --> 01:21:37,018 Sorry, you guys don't know each other. Rhys, this is Howie and Noah. 1609 01:21:37,102 --> 01:21:40,313 Oh, my God, cute. Boyfriend twins! It's like looking in a mirror. 1610 01:21:40,397 --> 01:21:42,232 CHARLIE: Sweetie, they're not boyfriends. 1611 01:21:42,315 --> 01:21:43,984 Come on, let's go in and dance. 1612 01:21:44,067 --> 01:21:46,027 (WHISPERING) I'm horny, okay? 1613 01:21:46,820 --> 01:21:48,238 CHARLIE: I'll see you guys later? 1614 01:21:48,738 --> 01:21:50,323 -COOPER: Later, hons. -CHARLIE: Bye. 1615 01:21:50,407 --> 01:21:53,910 Yeah, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and scrub my eyeballs out. 1616 01:21:53,994 --> 01:21:55,745 Yeah, probably a good plan. Hey. 1617 01:21:57,080 --> 01:21:59,416 (BOTH MOUTHING) 1618 01:22:01,918 --> 01:22:03,712 You know what? Actually, let's do it later. 1619 01:22:03,795 --> 01:22:04,921 No. We're doing it now. 1620 01:22:07,466 --> 01:22:08,633 -Hey. -Hey. 1621 01:22:09,009 --> 01:22:11,136 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Hey. Um... 1622 01:22:11,428 --> 01:22:12,471 How are you doing? 1623 01:22:13,180 --> 01:22:15,724 Look, you did not have to do that for me before. 1624 01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:17,684 Especially for me, 1625 01:22:17,767 --> 01:22:19,603 'cause I'm such a bitch to you all the time. 1626 01:22:19,686 --> 01:22:22,147 I know we're friends, but things are obviously different... 1627 01:22:22,230 --> 01:22:25,400 It's not even that we're friends, Luke. We're more than that. 1628 01:22:25,484 --> 01:22:29,779 We're family, right? Like, that means something to me. 1629 01:22:29,863 --> 01:22:31,364 Because you two and... 1630 01:22:31,448 --> 01:22:34,784 All you guys, you're, like, all I have. 1631 01:22:38,914 --> 01:22:42,167 Whatever. Are we gonna hug and wrap this up? How does this end? 1632 01:22:42,250 --> 01:22:44,127 Why don't we get fucked up and dance? 1633 01:22:44,961 --> 01:22:46,755 Come on. You're gonna be okay. 1634 01:22:46,838 --> 01:22:48,256 LUKE: Oh, I am? 1635 01:22:48,340 --> 01:22:49,799 -Are we gonna hug? -NOAH: No. 1636 01:22:52,677 --> 01:22:53,678 (GRUNTS) 1637 01:23:00,894 --> 01:23:01,895 What are you doing? 1638 01:23:04,064 --> 01:23:05,065 Don't be mad. 1639 01:23:06,525 --> 01:23:07,859 Howard. 1640 01:23:07,943 --> 01:23:11,571 I can't do it. I can't stay and see him... 1641 01:23:12,697 --> 01:23:14,783 Or see them together like that. 1642 01:23:14,866 --> 01:23:17,410 Oh, my God. You cannot end your vacation because of one guy. 1643 01:23:17,494 --> 01:23:21,706 It's not just about Charlie. It's a lifetime of Charlies. 1644 01:23:23,250 --> 01:23:26,711 I'm 30 and I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been in a relationship. 1645 01:23:26,795 --> 01:23:28,505 -I've never... -We've been through this. 1646 01:23:28,588 --> 01:23:31,383 Monogamy was created by straight people to make us less interesting. 1647 01:23:31,466 --> 01:23:35,470 Yeah, I've heard your TED talk. Listen. Please. 1648 01:23:38,348 --> 01:23:39,349 Okay. 1649 01:23:45,855 --> 01:23:47,440 You're the only person I know 1650 01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:51,403 who understands how shitty it can be sometimes 1651 01:23:52,529 --> 01:23:55,865 to feel unwanted like this. 1652 01:23:57,450 --> 01:24:00,036 And I'm so glad that you've found a way to feel good 1653 01:24:00,120 --> 01:24:03,290 despite all the fucked-up shit we deal with. 1654 01:24:03,748 --> 01:24:08,003 But you think that if you're vulnerable for just one second, 1655 01:24:08,086 --> 01:24:10,297 that it's all gonna come crashing down. 1656 01:24:10,380 --> 01:24:15,468 And maybe that's true for you, but it's not true for me. 1657 01:24:17,012 --> 01:24:18,638 I want to be vulnerable. 1658 01:24:19,681 --> 01:24:21,391 Even if it hurts. 1659 01:24:23,602 --> 01:24:26,563 Your rules, they don't work for me. 1660 01:24:27,856 --> 01:24:31,526 And honestly, I don't know that they're working for you either. 1661 01:24:33,737 --> 01:24:35,739 So let me be sad about this, 1662 01:24:36,781 --> 01:24:40,869 and deal with it and figure it out my own way. 1663 01:24:46,291 --> 01:24:49,002 Yeah, but my way you get to cum a bunch. 1664 01:24:49,085 --> 01:24:52,130 Oh, my God, I'm gonna masturbate so much when I get home. 1665 01:24:53,673 --> 01:24:55,717 What the fuck... (SIGHS) 1666 01:24:56,176 --> 01:24:57,302 When are you leaving? 1667 01:24:57,969 --> 01:24:59,054 Five o'clock ferry. 1668 01:24:59,137 --> 01:25:02,140 Oh, my God, you couldn't even stay for one last sunset? 1669 01:25:02,682 --> 01:25:05,393 This is the last time we're gonna be in our home together. 1670 01:25:05,477 --> 01:25:08,104 Our friendship isn't just limited to this island. 1671 01:25:08,647 --> 01:25:11,149 You know, you've never come to visit me in S. F. 1672 01:25:11,232 --> 01:25:13,151 I'm not flying Spirit for you, bitch. 1673 01:25:13,234 --> 01:25:14,235 (SCOFFS) 1674 01:25:15,320 --> 01:25:16,321 (SNIFFLES) 1675 01:25:18,156 --> 01:25:19,866 -Does Charlie know? -No. 1676 01:25:19,949 --> 01:25:22,202 Probably give me another pity conversation. 1677 01:25:22,285 --> 01:25:25,705 And at this point, it would make me feel even more pathetic. 1678 01:25:25,789 --> 01:25:27,082 Or he could, 1679 01:25:28,124 --> 01:25:30,710 you know, do one of those pre-9/11 rom-com moves, 1680 01:25:30,794 --> 01:25:33,463 you know, where somebody rushes through an airport 1681 01:25:33,546 --> 01:25:35,298 and stops you from getting on the plane. 1682 01:25:35,382 --> 01:25:38,802 And then, you kiss and it's awesome. 1683 01:25:39,010 --> 01:25:41,680 I thought you didn't want the rom-com bullshit for me. 1684 01:25:42,138 --> 01:25:45,266 Babe, all I want is for you to be happy. 1685 01:25:46,101 --> 01:25:47,143 Always. 1686 01:25:50,146 --> 01:25:52,524 Promise me you won't tell Charlie. 1687 01:25:54,234 --> 01:25:55,235 I promise. 1688 01:25:56,194 --> 01:25:57,195 Charlie! 1689 01:25:57,278 --> 01:25:59,072 I mean, you had to see that coming, right? 1690 01:25:59,155 --> 01:26:00,824 -Can we help you? -Help me? Yeah. 1691 01:26:00,907 --> 01:26:03,076 You could get a new fucking line, Braden. Jesus. 1692 01:26:03,284 --> 01:26:05,161 Wait, he's leaving? Why? 1693 01:26:05,245 --> 01:26:06,454 Do you need a hint? 1694 01:26:06,538 --> 01:26:09,999 Okay. Fair. Um, look, the timing of this is just really shitty. 1695 01:26:10,083 --> 01:26:12,585 -Fuck the timing. Go and stop him. -It's not that simple. 1696 01:26:12,669 --> 01:26:15,380 I've known Rhys since before I came out, and I owe him. 1697 01:26:15,463 --> 01:26:19,217 Listen, I get it. I get your whole nice guy schtick, all right? 1698 01:26:19,300 --> 01:26:22,512 But you have the chance at something real with Howie. 1699 01:26:22,595 --> 01:26:24,931 Something great. I don't really get it. 1700 01:26:25,014 --> 01:26:27,267 But what the fuck do I know? I've been wrong before. 1701 01:26:27,350 --> 01:26:28,601 I've been wrong a lot. 1702 01:26:29,060 --> 01:26:33,523 This week, especially, about people and situations and... 1703 01:26:36,609 --> 01:26:39,863 Stuff, okay? Maybe I was even wrong about you. 1704 01:26:39,946 --> 01:26:42,198 Maybe you're not the idiot that I thought you were. 1705 01:26:42,282 --> 01:26:43,783 Prove me wrong. Go and do something, 1706 01:26:43,867 --> 01:26:46,161 because if you fuck this up, it's game over. 1707 01:26:46,244 --> 01:26:48,913 -You won't get another shot. -COOPER: What are you doing? 1708 01:26:48,997 --> 01:26:51,624 -CHARLIE: Howie's leaving. -COOPER: Jesus. Are we still on this? 1709 01:26:51,708 --> 01:26:53,418 Nobody wants to fuck your friend. 1710 01:26:53,501 --> 01:26:56,421 Wait. You think Charlie likes that little Asian guy? 1711 01:26:56,504 --> 01:26:58,840 -Rhys. -I mean, come on. He's joking, right? 1712 01:26:58,923 --> 01:27:00,550 -You're the Amy Schumer one? -Enough. 1713 01:27:00,633 --> 01:27:02,302 -RHYS: But... -CHARLIE: I said, enough. 1714 01:27:02,385 --> 01:27:05,263 -What is wrong with you? -Yeah, I think I get the gist. 1715 01:27:06,473 --> 01:27:08,475 -Noah, I'm sorry. -You know what's funny? 1716 01:27:08,558 --> 01:27:10,101 I am the only person this week 1717 01:27:10,185 --> 01:27:12,604 who stopped to consider whether you deserved him. 1718 01:27:14,355 --> 01:27:15,982 You were right about this place. 1719 01:27:20,820 --> 01:27:23,156 I'm sorry. What is happening? 1720 01:27:30,497 --> 01:27:32,081 It's just not right. 1721 01:27:32,165 --> 01:27:34,751 -HOWIE: You'll barely notice I'm gone. -Not true. 1722 01:27:35,460 --> 01:27:37,378 (SIGHS) Where's Noah? 1723 01:27:37,462 --> 01:27:40,089 Probably taking one of Max's little walks in the Meat Rack. 1724 01:27:40,173 --> 01:27:42,842 For your information, I'm looking at constellations. 1725 01:27:42,926 --> 01:27:44,427 Oh, sweetie, give it a rest. 1726 01:27:44,511 --> 01:27:47,430 We all know you're getting your ass ate in the dunes. 1727 01:27:47,514 --> 01:27:49,432 NOAH: Sorry. Sorry. 1728 01:27:50,058 --> 01:27:52,310 You know me. Always late for the ferry. 1729 01:27:52,894 --> 01:27:54,562 Are you sure this is how you wanna go? 1730 01:27:56,356 --> 01:27:57,440 Yeah. I am. 1731 01:28:01,611 --> 01:28:03,029 Promise I'll come visit you. 1732 01:28:06,199 --> 01:28:07,200 Okay. 1733 01:28:27,595 --> 01:28:29,514 (FERRY BLOWS HORN) 1734 01:28:33,476 --> 01:28:37,814 Why does this feel like... Like the last summer here, like, ever? 1735 01:28:37,897 --> 01:28:39,524 'Cause it is, stupid. (KISSES) 1736 01:28:39,607 --> 01:28:40,900 Couldn't last forever. 1737 01:28:41,609 --> 01:28:43,278 Some things have to change. 1738 01:28:44,946 --> 01:28:46,865 Feels like all the wrong stuff is changing. 1739 01:29:14,017 --> 01:29:15,018 So, what's our plan? 1740 01:29:15,101 --> 01:29:18,313 To sort of stand here sadly in the direct sun all day, or... 1741 01:29:18,396 --> 01:29:20,148 You couldn't even give us a minute. 1742 01:29:20,231 --> 01:29:23,276 I know Howie. He would not want us to sit here and mope on the dock. 1743 01:29:23,359 --> 01:29:25,862 He would want us to do bumps of K by the pool. 1744 01:29:25,945 --> 01:29:27,280 -So let's go. -Fuck! 1745 01:29:27,363 --> 01:29:29,407 Did he get on? Did I miss him? 1746 01:29:29,490 --> 01:29:32,160 -What the fuck are you doing here? Hi. -Hey. 1747 01:29:32,243 --> 01:29:34,871 -I thought I could stop him. -You fucked that one up, buddy. 1748 01:29:34,954 --> 01:29:38,833 -He's halfway to the mainland by now. -So what should I do? Should I call him? 1749 01:29:38,917 --> 01:29:42,003 If you wanted to fix this, you'd have to do something really big, 1750 01:29:42,086 --> 01:29:44,255 something colossally stupid. 1751 01:29:44,339 --> 01:29:45,340 Okay. 1752 01:29:46,257 --> 01:29:48,426 I'm not sure I know what that means. 1753 01:29:48,509 --> 01:29:50,678 I have an idea. Follow me. 1754 01:29:50,762 --> 01:29:51,930 NOAH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1755 01:29:52,013 --> 01:29:53,181 What are you doing? 1756 01:29:53,264 --> 01:29:55,725 Something big. Something stupid. 1757 01:30:01,022 --> 01:30:03,191 I don't think I wanna be implicated in this. 1758 01:30:03,274 --> 01:30:05,777 -(CLICKS TONGUE) Ah. Come on. -(SIGHS) 1759 01:30:24,295 --> 01:30:25,546 ALL: (SHOUTING) Howie! 1760 01:30:25,630 --> 01:30:29,425 Howie! Howie! Howie! 1761 01:30:32,512 --> 01:30:34,055 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 1762 01:30:42,230 --> 01:30:44,065 Don't look over there. Look over here. 1763 01:30:44,148 --> 01:30:46,734 -What am I gonna say when I get there? -You'll figure it out. 1764 01:30:48,277 --> 01:30:49,278 (SIGHS) 1765 01:30:50,905 --> 01:30:53,157 NOAH: Whatever you do, stay on the dock. 1766 01:30:53,241 --> 01:30:55,076 HOWIE: I have a 6:15 train. 1767 01:30:55,159 --> 01:30:57,412 NOAH: I have a feeling you'll wanna hear this. 1768 01:30:57,495 --> 01:30:58,997 HOWIE: Okay, but why all the flags? 1769 01:30:59,080 --> 01:31:00,289 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1770 01:31:00,373 --> 01:31:02,834 Did you steal a water taxi? 1771 01:31:02,917 --> 01:31:05,586 We did. Yeah. There's a really angry lesbian on there. 1772 01:31:05,670 --> 01:31:08,756 Uh, look, I need to say that I'm sorry. 1773 01:31:08,840 --> 01:31:11,217 I'm really, really sorry for everything. 1774 01:31:11,300 --> 01:31:12,552 It's fine, Charlie. I'm fine. 1775 01:31:12,635 --> 01:31:15,263 No, it's not. Everything with Rhys, I... 1776 01:31:15,346 --> 01:31:16,389 I wasn't thinking. 1777 01:31:16,472 --> 01:31:17,890 I thought that I had to... 1778 01:31:18,891 --> 01:31:21,519 It doesn't matter what I thought. I was wrong. 1779 01:31:21,602 --> 01:31:23,938 Okay, Charlie, this is your big rom-com moment. 1780 01:31:24,022 --> 01:31:25,982 You gotta do something big. Something stupid. 1781 01:31:26,274 --> 01:31:27,316 I love you. 1782 01:31:27,400 --> 01:31:30,361 -ALL: Oh! -No. Too big. Too stupid. Dial it back. 1783 01:31:30,445 --> 01:31:32,155 HOWIE: Yeah, it's a little weird. 1784 01:31:32,405 --> 01:31:36,284 -We're not really there yet. -Yeah. Okay. All I'm trying to say is... 1785 01:31:37,785 --> 01:31:39,328 I don't know why this is so hard. 1786 01:31:39,412 --> 01:31:41,372 I gotta catch my shuttle or I'll miss my train. 1787 01:31:41,456 --> 01:31:43,249 No, wait. Okay, look... 1788 01:31:46,044 --> 01:31:47,628 I just need you to know 1789 01:31:48,421 --> 01:31:51,507 how fucking incredible I think that you are. 1790 01:31:53,051 --> 01:31:55,970 You are the most interesting man I have ever met, 1791 01:31:56,846 --> 01:32:00,016 and the funniest, and you're beautiful. 1792 01:32:02,101 --> 01:32:04,604 And I really, really like you. 1793 01:32:07,440 --> 01:32:10,026 I just wanted you to know that before you left. 1794 01:32:10,860 --> 01:32:12,278 And Noah said a bunch of stuff... 1795 01:32:12,361 --> 01:32:16,616 Oh, Jesus, please don't ever, ever listen to Noah. 1796 01:32:17,867 --> 01:32:18,910 Now you tell me. 1797 01:32:22,330 --> 01:32:24,665 You actually stole a boat for me? 1798 01:32:25,291 --> 01:32:27,251 I actually stole a boat for you. 1799 01:32:29,921 --> 01:32:31,255 (ALL CHEERING) 1800 01:32:45,686 --> 01:32:48,773 Okay, can we go to Cherry Grove now? 1801 01:32:48,856 --> 01:32:51,067 We will get there when we get there. 1802 01:33:02,787 --> 01:33:03,788 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1803 01:33:20,263 --> 01:33:23,307 NOAH: This whole time we were so worried about the house, 1804 01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:27,353 but it's never been about the house. 1805 01:33:29,605 --> 01:33:31,357 It's always been about the people. 1806 01:33:32,483 --> 01:33:33,568 We'll be fine. 1807 01:33:35,027 --> 01:33:36,279 We'll make new memories. 1808 01:33:38,281 --> 01:33:39,699 But when I look back on the years 1809 01:33:39,782 --> 01:33:42,118 I got to spend with my family on Fire Island... 1810 01:33:46,038 --> 01:33:47,415 This is what I'll remember. 1811 01:33:47,498 --> 01:33:49,208 (INAUDIBLE) 1812 01:34:08,686 --> 01:34:10,605 (NOAH BREATHES DEEPLY) 1813 01:34:12,398 --> 01:34:13,733 Today was a lot. 1814 01:34:13,816 --> 01:34:15,610 (BOTH LAUGH) 1815 01:34:16,527 --> 01:34:17,570 WILL: Yeah. 1816 01:34:18,529 --> 01:34:21,949 All that drama for what? Somebody you met five days ago. 1817 01:34:22,033 --> 01:34:24,660 Yeah, 'cause, I mean, what happens now? 1818 01:34:24,744 --> 01:34:27,538 Howie goes back to S. F., the Pines bubble bursts. 1819 01:34:27,914 --> 01:34:30,249 Then six months from now, they'll probably just be... 1820 01:34:30,333 --> 01:34:31,417 In love. 1821 01:34:32,835 --> 01:34:34,754 Maybe even happy. 1822 01:34:37,798 --> 01:34:40,301 Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. 1823 01:34:40,384 --> 01:34:41,385 (CHUCKLES) 1824 01:34:41,677 --> 01:34:45,097 You know, I think that's what Howie always wanted out of these trips. 1825 01:34:45,181 --> 01:34:48,851 Come out here, meet some vacation boyfriend. 1826 01:34:48,935 --> 01:34:50,686 Lug him back to the real world. 1827 01:34:54,357 --> 01:34:55,483 What about you? 1828 01:34:57,401 --> 01:34:58,527 What do you want? 1829 01:35:01,864 --> 01:35:03,991 You know, it's so weird, I... 1830 01:35:04,075 --> 01:35:07,286 My whole life, I felt like I've had everything figured out, 1831 01:35:07,370 --> 01:35:08,788 everybody, 1832 01:35:08,871 --> 01:35:12,667 and then I come out here and I just keep getting thrown, you know? 1833 01:35:12,750 --> 01:35:16,462 It's like, God, have I been wrong about everything this week? 1834 01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:21,008 It feels longer, doesn't it? It's like time works... 1835 01:35:21,759 --> 01:35:23,427 It just works differently here. 1836 01:35:24,053 --> 01:35:25,805 Does that sound crazy? 1837 01:35:28,099 --> 01:35:29,100 Little bit. 1838 01:35:32,395 --> 01:35:34,105 What about you? What do you want? 1839 01:35:34,814 --> 01:35:37,108 You probably want some gay marriage nightmare. 1840 01:35:37,316 --> 01:35:39,819 Joint Instagram accounts, a French bulldog. 1841 01:35:39,902 --> 01:35:41,028 God, no! It's... 1842 01:35:42,029 --> 01:35:43,739 I don't think monogamy is for me. 1843 01:35:46,367 --> 01:35:47,868 Yeah. I mean, same. 1844 01:35:49,537 --> 01:35:51,205 And I don't really like dogs. 1845 01:35:51,289 --> 01:35:52,707 (CHUCKLES) 1846 01:35:54,375 --> 01:35:56,669 Okay. So, what do you want? 1847 01:36:02,717 --> 01:36:03,759 I want that. 1848 01:36:10,349 --> 01:36:12,977 All right. You asked me what I wanted. 1849 01:36:13,060 --> 01:36:15,104 -Dance with me. -What? 1850 01:36:15,187 --> 01:36:17,440 You've already run away from me once this week. 1851 01:36:17,523 --> 01:36:20,901 I don't know if my pride could handle it if it happened again. 1852 01:36:20,985 --> 01:36:22,069 -Will. -Noah. 1853 01:36:23,237 --> 01:36:25,823 Listen, I just, um... I really like my freedom. 1854 01:36:25,906 --> 01:36:27,533 That's like a big thing with me. 1855 01:36:27,616 --> 01:36:30,619 And I just, I'm doing really, really, really well on my own 1856 01:36:30,703 --> 01:36:32,955 and the whole falling-in-love-with-romance thing 1857 01:36:33,039 --> 01:36:35,624 is really stupid. And, of course, we'd have great sex. 1858 01:36:35,708 --> 01:36:38,210 I mean, look at us. But the... I'm not right for you. 1859 01:36:38,294 --> 01:36:41,130 And you're definitely not right for me and it... 1860 01:36:41,213 --> 01:36:42,423 Hey, it's just a dance. 1861 01:36:43,632 --> 01:36:44,717 Yeah, but then what? 1862 01:36:45,676 --> 01:36:46,844 Guess we'll find out. 1863 01:36:50,639 --> 01:36:51,640 Okay. 1864 01:36:54,935 --> 01:36:55,936 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1865 01:36:56,020 --> 01:36:57,730 (SLOW DISCO MUSIC INTRO PLAYING) 1866 01:37:45,903 --> 01:37:52,868 'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad... 1867 01:37:53,035 --> 01:37:56,372 HOWIE: Excuse me. I need a moment with my sister. 1868 01:37:56,872 --> 01:37:58,290 -Of course. -(BOTH LAUGH) 1869 01:37:58,374 --> 01:38:00,167 (DISCO MUSIC TEMPO QUICKENS) 1870 01:38:00,251 --> 01:38:02,586 (ALL CHEERING AND WHOOPING) 1871 01:38:16,475 --> 01:38:18,102 ALL: Do it! 1872 01:38:18,227 --> 01:38:19,812 (ALL CHEER AND LAUGH) 1873 01:39:04,482 --> 01:39:09,278 (VOCALIZING) 1874 01:44:14,458 --> 01:44:16,627 -NOAH: Guys. Look alive. It's happening. -ERIN: Oh! 1875 01:44:16,794 --> 01:44:18,045 -LUKE: Okay. -NOAH: All right. 1876 01:44:18,128 --> 01:44:21,799 ALL: Ten! Nine! Eight! 1877 01:44:21,882 --> 01:44:25,636 Seven! Six! Five! 1878 01:44:25,719 --> 01:44:26,845 LUKE: Five! 1879 01:44:26,929 --> 01:44:29,181 ALL: Four! 1880 01:44:29,264 --> 01:44:31,975 Three! 1881 01:44:32,476 --> 01:44:35,771 Two! 1882 01:44:35,854 --> 01:44:37,648 One! 1883 01:44:37,731 --> 01:44:38,857 One-point-five. 1884 01:44:38,941 --> 01:44:41,902 -One-point-five. -One-point-five. 1885 01:44:41,985 --> 01:44:44,363 One. 1886 01:44:44,446 --> 01:44:48,492 Point nine, point eight, 1887 01:44:48,575 --> 01:44:52,204 point seven, point six, point five, point four, point three... 1888 01:44:52,287 --> 01:44:54,122 (ALL CHEERING) 1889 01:44:55,582 --> 01:44:59,002 NOAH: Oh, my God. Flawless countdown. 1890 01:44:59,086 --> 01:45:01,964 -KEEGAN: She does the job every day. -NOAH: You're welcome, everyone.