Raffo: Not sure how I'm allowed to be,
to be honest.
OhmyGod, she's like a specimen on display.
Jealous?
Are you gonna be like a bitch to me
for the rest of our lives?
I think I just realised I'm moving out.
What?
Paul: I feel like I can finally trust her
for the first time in a while.
We both knew it was wrong the second it happened.
I do feel betrayed.
Sabi: Maybe you should get some help for the eating stuff?
7ven: I've decided we're moving in together.
Eeeeee!
Mumtaz: Your sister-in-law is disrespecting her husband,
and Sabi-
Okay, enough!
[people gasping]
It looks like you're moving out.
Mom-
Oh no, you're pregnant.
Actually, yeah.
Weird and not funny.
I'm not joking.
[sirens wailing]
[horns blaring]
And what about marriage?
What about marriage?
Aqsa if you...
if you...
then you should...
if...
What do you want me to say?
Aqsa: Mom, I need you to understand
I'm not marrying Izzy because I'm pregnant.
What other reason is there to marry a person?
Love?
You don't love each other?
I'm about to lose autonomy over my body
so can we just pause on giving me away
in freaking matrimony?
If you do not marry Ismail,
this baby will be...
undocumented.
I don't think that's the right word.
The baby will not be accepted.
By who?
Aqsa, are you so ignorant of how this world of ours works?
Bye.
Elope. Do whatever.
But just do it.
For the sake of the child.
Please.
I don't know what to say again.
I get a bad feeling
when I think about doing it for this reason.
How you feel doesn't matter.
Yeah, it never fucking seems to!
This child belonging to its people is what matters!
Mom, can we chill?
Hm.
What's that smell?
A mother's pain.
Sorry.
I, um, I lit the sage stick in my room
and then realised I had nothing to put it out in.
So, ignore me.
[7ven coughing]
7ven: Sorry, oh my God.
Um...
[soft electronica music]
Good morning, babe.
Hey, hey, knocking is a thing.
Sorry, sorry. Ohmygosh.
How'd you sleep?
I slept so bad!
We're roommates!
I'm so pumped!
[7ven knocks]
7ven: Can I come in?
Yes.
[7ven squealing]
I'm so happy!
Ah, I'm so happy!
It feels so right!
You and me finally together!
We're like...
we're like...
I can't think of a famous duo that applies to us.
Why did you decide this was okay?
You were right.
Um, it kinda made sense.
Oh! - Oh my God!
Let's go to work together!
Let's get caffeine!
Ugh, you wanna add caffeine to this?
Get changed.
♪ Beautiful Dreamer
♪ won't you come and play ♪
7ven: Pregnant Aqsa.
So joyful!
So bleak.
It's totally both of those.
There's gonna be a beebee
and we're gonna be aunties.
Joyful.
Bleak because I feel sad for the world
when people as cool as Aqsa become normies.
It's an unplanned pregnancy
so that's still cool.
True.
I'm so worried it's gonna like,
divide Aqsa and my mom forever.
Can I just point out
that I didn't make this convo about me once?
Congrats.
♪ Save yourself for another
♪ Beautiful Dreamer ♪
Hey.
It's gonna be fun.
Where are we going?
[gentle music]
Okay, okay, okay.
Instructor: Who's ready to ride the wheel?
Okay, so you've got your clay and, uh-
Oh, we know what we're doing.
All right, have at it.
Hey, I wonder if Demi Moore-
Don't make a 'Ghost' joke.
Okay.
[on phone] Deenzie: Buenos morning, y'all!
Dad, you don't have to be on this call.
Enjoy your vacation.
Where's he at?
Costa Rica.
[on phone] Deenzie: I will always be there for monthly Monday.
Violet, where we at?
About to go over customer feedback.
[on phone] Deenzie: Got it.
Sabi, kick us off.
Aqsa's pregnant. I'm processing.
[on phone] Deenzie: That's great!
I mean, is it?
It is, um, but it's also, like, kinda complicated.
The whole not being married thing is breaking my mom.
[on phone] Deenzie: Yeah, I actually get that.
When I got knocked up,
Wolf's dad and I had a civil union.
Felt like we needed a ritual to kinda join us as a family.
Ah, did it?
[on phone] Deenzie: It wasn't legally binding,
but it changed the way we were, like, seen by our people.
Oh my gosh!
Guaro time!
Yes, si, si, si, I'm coming!
I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming!
I gotta go.
Izzy: How would that even work?
Sabi: We just take some pics and video,
Mom gets to tell everybody you got married.
OhmyGod, we'll get all dressed up
and our template will be Connie Corleone's wedding.
Satin, silk, violence, and la busta!
Is a garter too patriarchal?
Their people don't do that.
Sorry, that was culturally insensitive.
Izzy: What and-and no family there?
Well, we gotta probably make it look like you did it
without mom knowing otherwise she'll get grief
for letting you get married this way.
Why should we do this?
Well, for Mom.
We'll have mehndi,
and I totally have the perfect mirror for the Arsi Mushaf
and OMG I'm gonna check in on renting an elephant!
Aqsa: Are you serious?
Ugh.
[soft music]
The elephant was too much?
Hm, yeah, the elephant was too much.
[upbeat music]
♪ Go on take up space in my head
♪ Make a mess now ♪
No, the issue isn't the number of claims submitted.
It's if you- [door knocking]
Uh, one sec.
Helloooo.
Sorry, Klaus, my sibling just dropped in.
Do you mind if I put you on mute for a second?
I'm fine.
Sabi: Hey, I um,
I just wanted to check in.
Are you gonna try to convince me
to do this sham wedding thing?
No, um, I'm like seriously here
'cause I know how messed up all of this is
and how out of control I would feel if I were you.
Okay.
Thanks.
[gentle music]
Do you know what I was weirdly thinking about today?
Remember when we were trying to explain
what camping was to Dad?
Oh my God.
[imitating Imran] "Oh, we moved from Pakistan
"so you wouldn't have to live like this.
"Now you want to do this for fun, huh?"
They went through a bit with us.
Well, hey, I mean,
I was harder for them than you were.
You were more of a mind-fuck,
but I wasn't easy.
Can I say something?
Mm-hmm.
I see how much shit you handle 'cause of who you are
and I know what I get away with 'cause of who I am
or like how I'm perceived or whatever.
And now Dad is gone
and there's still some weird expectation for you
to be this like good Paki girl.
But in spite of what you've done for this fam,
you can never be a good girl.
You will always be a slutty, pregnant-out of-wedlock,
wild-ass woman who cannot be domesticated.
Ah, thank you for saying that.
This child's gonna bring some joy I hope.
Yeah, that would be nice.
'Kay. If I do this,
get fake married or whatever,
let's not pretend it's not what it is, okay?
Which is a firewall to protect Mom
and whoever is inside me
against the ridiculousness of this world.
Gotcha.
Okay.
I have to get back to work.
All marriage is fake anyways.
Oh, nice.
Life is a big empty void and then you die.
Paul: I've been going to meetings again.
Food stuff?
Has it been bad?
Problematic for sure.
For how long?
Ever since you went into the hospital.
I've been sharing at the meetings and it feels weird.
How's it going? - We're good.
Okay.
Ah, what have you been sharing?
Mostly stuff around us.
[soft hip hop music]
7ven: You gotta look at these nikah flower sculptures
I found on Etsy.
You need to tamp yourself down,
it's a fake wedding.
It can't feel too real.
Aqsa doesn't want that.
She wants to be celebrated though.
Everybody does.
Not everybody.
While I applaud the level of sensitivity you are exhibiting,
y'all's limited perception of the label of marriage
is your own shit.
Now, rose petals I'm thinking-
I don't know how you manage to do that.
You're being, like, so positive about something so fake.
Yeah, sure.
It's a wretched institution about ownership
and possibly the end of voluntary affection.
But you know what else marriage is?
Whatever you make it.
♪ Whatever you make it, mm ♪
No rose petals though.
♪ Beautiful Dreamer
♪ Won't you come and play ♪
I can't believe this is happening.
But it is. And it's beautiful.
Shut up.
Think of the story you'll be able to tell little 7ven Junior.
Aw!
Okay, so you're just gonna go to camera here
and then video is here.
Got it.
Yeah, yeah.
Why do I feel like, ah, throwing up right now?
Aqsa: What if Mom finds out this is a sham?
I think she's gonna know it's a sham
just like everyone else will
but none of them will dare admit it.
You think so?
Sabi: Oh yeah.
Oh my God, remember Memoona's abortion
and her mom told everyone it was a miscarriage
but then no one really bought it
and no one really said anything?
Same thing.
Memoona's abortion story always made me feel hopeful.
Sabi: Me too.
Welcome back.
Good job on your vases.
The first firing was fine.
Which dildo is your dildo?
Oh, mine's the good one.
Bessy: Oh, well you wouldn't know a good one if you sat on it.
Paul: Is it hard to imagine a straight cis man
recognising an effective sex toy?
Ooh. - Please, come in.
Like, I-I feel fine in my head
but my body is jumping out of the plane.
All right, let's get your anxiety outta your body.
Talk it out, you know, just start talking.
Izzy: Mm, mm-hmm, no I mean I, I, I had a,
oh, I had a simple life.
Well, I-I-I would go to work and be happy
and then I would come home and get high and be happy.
And now, now, I'm gonna be a dad
with a woman who is just...
way out of my league.
Izzy, you're a significantly solid catch.
Wait, so-so-so-so Aqsa's not outta my league?
Aqsa's kind of outta everybody's league.
Aqsa: I need to know that Izzy looks good.
What do you think he's wearing right now?
He's always a smoke show.
Tiger of Sweden I think.
Okay, good.
And everything's been arranged, yeah?
In terms of...?
You paid an event fee or whatever?
There's a certain area that's been reserved for us?
If you made me get wedding-ed up for nothing
I am going to murder you.
Bessy: Your dildo has too much girth.
Yeah, but look at my curvature.
Yeah, but your girth is garbage.
I don't think my girth is garbage.
Look at my girth.
Look at it.
It's elegant.
Your girth is obscene.
Be honest with yourself.
Honestly?
I like us saying the word girth over and over again.
Hey.
Yeah?
I'd like to ask you to share,
like you would at your meetings?
On what topic?
Maybe what it was like for you
when I was in the hospital?
You know, I don't really have a,
a sense.
Um...
When I first got the call that you were non-responsive
they asked me all these questions about you.
I didn't know the answers to a whole bunch of stuff.
I felt like I was disappointing you?
Izzy: No, no, no, no.
I can't do this.
I can't do this!
How am I gonna do this?
I am gonna disappoint her over and over and over
until she realises that-that she is too good for me!
Okay, you're just jumping a smidge
too far ahead in the timeline.
Let's just come back to right now, okay?
Aqsa: Okay, this is what we're gonna do.
Get ten pics in front of the castle
and one video of the two of us in front of the barns
feeding each other cake and then we're out, got it?
Got it.
Where's Izzy?
♪ Here goes nothin', I am doin' something ♪ [Izzy panting]
In for a count of four.
Oh God!
Oh, oh, oh God!
OhmyGod, I think I'm gonna pass out.
♪ Emotion peeling off my sweater ♪
Hey, what is happening?!
I don't know if he can do this.
Oh God! Oh God!
You cannot leave my sister at the altar.
Castle. Whatever.
Izzy: Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
Sabi: It's a fake wedding, Iz.
You already got her real pregnant.
You kinda did the part you can't come back from.
Sabi, I have loved Aqsa since before I can remember.
Okay, so what is the problem?
She really didn't see me in a romantic way
until your dad died.
And now she is knocked up
and she keeps getting pushed into this corner and I...
how do I even know if she likes me?
She loves you and all marriage is fake
and marriage is this, like, totally wretched institution
that's all about ownership and is, like,
the end of voluntary affection.
But you wanna know what else it is?
Whatever you make it.
That was your marriage pep talk?
Wow.
Okay, yeah, I wanna be alone forever now.
[soothing music]
It did sound better when 7ven said it.
Paul: When I found out you were on an antidepressant
I felt angry with myself because...
what was it about me
that made you feel you couldn't tell me that?
Then we weren't sure whether or not
you were ever gonna be functional again.
I felt deeply powerless.
But also, in-in case you got better,
I had this fantasy that our relationship would become like,
radically honest?
Where you could literally tell me anything
and I could tell you anything...
without fear the other would bail on the other.
I'm impressed with your curvature.
It is satisfying, isn't it?
Aqsa: Izzy, what the serious fuck?!
He's concerned that, um, you don't love him
as much as he loves you.
Did I say that okay?
That's pretty accurate.
Aqsa: Izzy! I am having a baby with you!
What more of a declaration of love do you need?
Sorry, I'm-I'm just like freaking out right now.
Do you need me to propose?
[thunder rumbles]
Ugh, oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this.
Okay, um, Izzy Shak,
will you fake marry me?
Oh shit!
I'm sorry, I know that you're probably freaking out too.
I am completely losing it.
So please let's get this shit going before we get arrested.
[upbeat music]
7ven! Get those fucking rose petals ready.
[7ven squealing]
[thunder rumbles]
Sabi, take the umbrellas!
Okay, okay, give me a second.
7ven: Wedding day rain, it's good luck my baby.
Sabi: How do I even close mine?
7ven: Get in front of the flowers.
[people clamouring]
Get in there.
Throw it up in the air and let it cascade down.
Izzy: Are you taking the photos?
Yes. - Okay, there we go.
Slow it down.
How do you put it on video mode?
Are you kidding?
I forgot.
Sorry, sorry, there.
[people clamouring]
Yes, we're getting the flowers, geez.
Okay, oh my God!
[upbeat music] [rain pattering]
♪ Go on take up space in my head ♪
We love you, Mom. [camera clicking]
Oh my God, pack up! Pack up! [people clamouring]
Hey! You got a permit?
We have to go!
Security: You can't be here.
I will call the police.
7ven: Get outta here!
It's a public space, sir!
Sabi: I'm so sorry.
7ven, hurry!
We have to run! Come on, guys!
This cake is so heavy!
Let's go!
Suck it!
♪ Go on take up space in my head, make a mess now ♪
Hey.
What?
You got through an incredibly difficult time
and you got our kids through it,
and you were there for me
and you let a hard time make you... softer.
And I think that's kind of exceptional.
Thank you for saying that.
But I think our pottery days are over.
Seriously?
I was kind of getting back into it.
[soothing music]
Shehraz: So, they eloped?
Sort of like that, yeah.
Casa Loma?
Something like that.
Classy.
I would've liked to have seen my daughter getting married.
I'll share it with the family?
Haan, teekh hai.
[on video] Aqsa: We love you, Mom.
[soft upbeat music]
Oh my God, this is so good.
Oh my God, that's [laughs]-
[laughing] Oh my God!
[soft upbeat music]
That's so mean!
Yeah, you deserved it! - Oh yeah I did.
Aqsa: Oh, that cake was so good.
Izzy: I know, they did, oh no! [Izzy laughing]
[soft upbeat music]
[on video] Aqsa: We love you, Mom.
I can't believe I'm real crying about a fake wedding.
♪ It's just imaginary
♪ Feels like something left behind, deja vu ♪