1
00:01:13,284 --> 00:01:15,552
A little help would be nice.
2
00:01:22,726 --> 00:01:25,262
Moving on out.
3
00:01:25,396 --> 00:01:28,599
Looks like it's Splitsville
from the West Village
4
00:01:28,732 --> 00:01:31,168
for Lindsay Lohan and her latest beau,
5
00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:34,238
bad boy rocker, Rocky Rakovia.
6
00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:37,841
Townhouse Confidential
has learned that little Lindsey
7
00:01:37,974 --> 00:01:41,011
has grown teary-eyed over
the construction going on
8
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,314
in front of her rented townhouse
9
00:01:43,447 --> 00:01:46,283
and put in an offer
on a Hudson Yards penthouse
10
00:01:46,417 --> 00:01:48,719
with a floor to ceiling river view.
11
00:01:49,453 --> 00:01:53,524
Her new digs come complete with
an indoor pool, an outdoor pool,
12
00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:57,160
an equinox gym, and, get this,
13
00:01:57,294 --> 00:02:00,297
luxury barrel saunas for two.
14
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:02,999
With amenities like that,
15
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:05,836
how can a West Village
townhouse hope to compete?
16
00:02:22,386 --> 00:02:24,688
Oh, Sophie, why didn't you text me
17
00:02:24,821 --> 00:02:26,223
and let me know you were coming?
18
00:02:26,357 --> 00:02:29,360
Next time, remind me to take an Uber.
19
00:02:31,262 --> 00:02:33,464
So, you finally
found us a new tenant, Sophie.
20
00:02:33,597 --> 00:02:34,898
It's about time.
21
00:02:35,031 --> 00:02:36,600
Making money while you sleep sure does
22
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:38,034
beat working for a living.
23
00:02:38,168 --> 00:02:39,670
You call that working?
24
00:02:39,803 --> 00:02:41,372
Hooking up with middle aged hedge funders
25
00:02:41,505 --> 00:02:43,206
that you meet at the gym
26
00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:45,542
while I slave away icing
cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery?
27
00:02:45,676 --> 00:02:47,544
Well, at least
I make more than minimum wage
28
00:02:47,678 --> 00:02:49,012
working as a personal trainer.
29
00:02:49,145 --> 00:02:50,814
Girls, girls, please.
30
00:02:50,947 --> 00:02:53,083
I finally found a tenant
31
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,018
for your precious garden apartment.
32
00:02:55,151 --> 00:02:57,354
And not just any tenant.
33
00:02:57,488 --> 00:03:00,891
He's 32, runs his own
venture capital fund,
34
00:03:01,024 --> 00:03:03,927
and rakes in more than
half a million a year.
35
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:06,997
And best of all, he's single.
36
00:03:07,864 --> 00:03:10,066
Never married, no kids, no pets.
37
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,736
That means he's probably gay.
Or bankrupt. Or both.
38
00:03:12,869 --> 00:03:15,238
Have you checked him
out on deadbeatnants.com?
39
00:03:15,372 --> 00:03:18,174
Oh, Lizzie, do you have to be
so cynical all the time?
40
00:03:18,309 --> 00:03:19,943
Maybe he's got a friend for you, too.
41
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:21,478
Oh, come on. He might be just--
42
00:03:21,612 --> 00:03:23,547
Can't a girl get a minute's peace
43
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,081
to blog in this house?
44
00:03:25,215 --> 00:03:26,783
You do realize that the Huffington Post
45
00:03:26,917 --> 00:03:28,652
just named
Townhouse Confidential--
46
00:03:28,785 --> 00:03:31,355
One of the 100 best
new real estate blogs to watch.
47
00:03:31,488 --> 00:03:33,223
Yes, Mary, we know.
48
00:03:33,357 --> 00:03:34,825
And now we just wait
49
00:03:34,958 --> 00:03:36,493
for all those advertising
dollars to roll in.
50
00:03:36,627 --> 00:03:38,762
Okay, girls,
I'll bring him around
51
00:03:38,895 --> 00:03:40,497
for your inspection tomorrow.
52
00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:44,468
But if there's
a marriage comes out of this,
53
00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:46,970
I expect an invitation to the wedding.
54
00:03:47,504 --> 00:03:48,905
You are the boss, Sophie.
55
00:03:49,039 --> 00:03:50,474
You have no idea.
56
00:04:02,486 --> 00:04:03,787
Thank you so much
57
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,055
for coming, everyone, thank you.
58
00:04:05,956 --> 00:04:06,990
Thank you very much.
59
00:04:07,123 --> 00:04:08,592
As most of you know,
60
00:04:08,725 --> 00:04:10,761
my family has maintained
a dominant presence
61
00:04:10,894 --> 00:04:14,631
in West Village real estate
for nearly two centuries.
62
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,934
Our new master plan,
63
00:04:18,669 --> 00:04:22,305
which we will execute
with $100 million in bank loans
64
00:04:22,439 --> 00:04:23,674
and investor capital,
65
00:04:24,274 --> 00:04:27,277
will remake the face of the West Village.
66
00:04:28,779 --> 00:04:30,647
Affording the world's elite
67
00:04:30,781 --> 00:04:34,050
the opportunity to own entire blocks
68
00:04:34,184 --> 00:04:36,720
of luxury townhouse properties
69
00:04:36,853 --> 00:04:39,122
where they can live, work.
70
00:04:39,255 --> 00:04:40,891
Did you know that from the moment
71
00:04:41,024 --> 00:04:43,193
I brought Georgie home
from St. Vincent's Hospital,
72
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:46,497
he could already point
out a lintel from his stroller?
73
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:48,632
And by age seven, he knew the difference
74
00:04:48,765 --> 00:04:51,334
between a federal style
townhouse and a Greek Revival.
75
00:04:51,468 --> 00:04:52,903
More into it.
76
00:04:53,036 --> 00:04:55,138
Now, as you can see in the shaded area,
77
00:04:55,271 --> 00:04:58,108
Barrow Ventures has holdings on Charles,
78
00:04:58,241 --> 00:05:00,076
Perry, Bank Street,
79
00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:04,247
as well as 50 other
luxury townhouse properties.
80
00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:09,686
Not to worry.
81
00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:12,423
Girls are always fainting
at Georgie's presentations.
82
00:05:12,556 --> 00:05:15,225
That's why we always have
a couple of paramedics on hand.
83
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:17,060
Boys.
84
00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:19,029
Thank you, boys.
85
00:05:21,665 --> 00:05:23,567
She's fine. She's fine.
86
00:05:25,536 --> 00:05:26,803
Any questions?
87
00:05:26,937 --> 00:05:28,539
Yes.
88
00:05:28,672 --> 00:05:31,608
But what about the Landmarks
Preservation Commission?
89
00:05:31,742 --> 00:05:33,977
Won't the city's preservationists object
90
00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:38,482
to your turning the West Village
into a hedge funder Disneyland?
91
00:05:43,253 --> 00:05:44,455
The deal is in the bag.
92
00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:46,490
Everyone from the mayor on down
93
00:05:46,623 --> 00:05:48,224
has already signed off on the project.
94
00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:51,862
Trust me, this baby is shovel ready.
95
00:05:51,995 --> 00:05:54,064
But what if some of the townhouse owners
96
00:05:54,197 --> 00:05:55,532
refuse to sell?
97
00:05:55,666 --> 00:05:56,933
Got it covered.
98
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,969
We've hired the top brokers
in the West Village
99
00:05:59,102 --> 00:06:00,871
to canvas the homeowners.
100
00:06:01,004 --> 00:06:03,106
Everyone has agreed to sell
to our development company
101
00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:04,841
once we close on the financing.
102
00:06:04,975 --> 00:06:06,810
Mr. Barrow, one more question.
103
00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:09,680
So, I think the presentation
104
00:06:09,813 --> 00:06:11,782
went very well today.
105
00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:14,117
Such a pity your father
wasn't there to see it.
106
00:06:14,851 --> 00:06:16,186
He would have been so proud.
107
00:06:16,319 --> 00:06:18,288
I missed Dad too, Mother,
108
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,591
but it's been ten years
since he passed away.
109
00:06:21,558 --> 00:06:23,259
I'm sure he would have
wanted us to move on.
110
00:06:23,393 --> 00:06:25,128
And so we are,
111
00:06:25,261 --> 00:06:28,098
by creating a townhouse empire
in the West Village
112
00:06:28,231 --> 00:06:31,702
that'll make the Barrow
family name burn even brighter.
113
00:06:32,335 --> 00:06:36,473
And perhaps one day,
by continuing the Barrow legacy
114
00:06:36,607 --> 00:06:38,174
into the seventh generation.
115
00:06:38,308 --> 00:06:40,977
- Here we go again.
- You know, Diana's daughter,
116
00:06:41,111 --> 00:06:42,746
Amy, was in the audience today.
117
00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:46,316
Goldman real estate analyst,
Wharton MBA.
118
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,451
I saw the way she was looking at you.
119
00:06:48,585 --> 00:06:49,920
Please don't start.
120
00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,723
George, you're not getting any younger.
121
00:06:52,856 --> 00:06:54,324
Why, when your father was your age--
122
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,560
He was married with a baby and a mortgage.
123
00:06:56,693 --> 00:06:59,963
Yes, Mother.
I know, but I'm 32 and single.
124
00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:02,032
I have more mortgages than I can count.
125
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,970
I'm so busy building this business,
126
00:07:07,103 --> 00:07:08,505
I barely have time for a girlfriend,
127
00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:09,906
let alone a wife and kid.
128
00:07:10,641 --> 00:07:13,877
George, every girl
I've ever introduced you to
129
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,111
has been wrong.
130
00:07:15,245 --> 00:07:17,113
Too thin, too fat.
131
00:07:17,247 --> 00:07:18,649
Too smart. Not smart enough.
132
00:07:18,782 --> 00:07:20,784
Wrong school, wrong zip code.
133
00:07:21,417 --> 00:07:22,986
I'm beginning to think that maybe
134
00:07:23,119 --> 00:07:25,221
you're not interested in girls at all.
135
00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:28,959
What are you trying to say, Mother?
136
00:07:30,293 --> 00:07:32,028
All I want is a little grandbaby
137
00:07:32,162 --> 00:07:34,965
I can pop in a stroller
and push around the West Village
138
00:07:35,098 --> 00:07:37,400
to teach the ABCs
of bricks and brownstones.
139
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,369
Is that too much to ask?
140
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:42,038
Mother, we're done here.
141
00:07:42,673 --> 00:07:43,907
I'm off to a business meeting.
142
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,776
- What?
- Don't wait up.
143
00:07:50,146 --> 00:07:51,414
What are you gettin'?
144
00:07:51,548 --> 00:07:53,216
I don't know.
How about you?
145
00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:55,518
Think I'm gonna
go for a pastrami, no mustard.
146
00:07:56,553 --> 00:07:58,722
Sal, you gotta watch your gluten, Sal.
147
00:07:58,855 --> 00:08:00,857
Yeah, but I like food with gluten.
148
00:08:00,991 --> 00:08:02,525
All right.
Good. Oh, here he is.
149
00:08:06,863 --> 00:08:08,331
How are you doing, Mr. Barrow?
150
00:08:08,464 --> 00:08:10,667
Sal Carmine, Long Island
Mortgage and Title.
151
00:08:10,801 --> 00:08:12,803
This is my associate, Big Sal.
152
00:08:12,936 --> 00:08:14,504
Nice to meet you, Mr. Barrow.
153
00:08:14,638 --> 00:08:16,106
Very nice to meet you, gentlemen.
154
00:08:16,239 --> 00:08:17,641
Have a seat.
155
00:08:18,742 --> 00:08:20,744
Thank you for coming today.
I appreciate you.
156
00:08:20,877 --> 00:08:23,346
So, Big Sal...
157
00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:26,549
looks like the two of you
are exactly the same height.
158
00:08:27,918 --> 00:08:29,552
We get that a lot, actually.
159
00:08:29,686 --> 00:08:31,888
But I'm 5'6, he's 5'7.
160
00:08:32,022 --> 00:08:33,556
That's why they call him Big Sal.
161
00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:35,726
Listen, guys,
I'm a little pressed for time.
162
00:08:36,593 --> 00:08:37,928
What have you got for me?
163
00:08:38,061 --> 00:08:39,262
Well, unfortunately, Georgie,
164
00:08:39,395 --> 00:08:40,697
the pickings were pretty slim.
165
00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:43,867
Your family owns 50 townhouses
in the West Village,
166
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,902
but you drain most of your equity.
167
00:08:46,036 --> 00:08:47,938
And your credit lines,
they're pretty tight.
168
00:08:48,504 --> 00:08:50,440
The only bank that's willing
to give you a bridge loan
169
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:52,709
to finance your deal until it closes
170
00:08:52,843 --> 00:08:54,911
is the Hudson River Bank
out of Westchester.
171
00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,246
Hudson River Bank.
172
00:08:57,513 --> 00:08:59,816
I thought they were
a front for the Russian mob.
173
00:09:00,283 --> 00:09:03,286
Doesn't a certain
bankrupt real estate developer
174
00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:05,789
from Queens borrow money there?
175
00:09:05,922 --> 00:09:08,558
I heard he got into politics
just to pay his bills.
176
00:09:08,692 --> 00:09:09,893
Those guys are tough.
177
00:09:11,094 --> 00:09:12,295
What's the rate?
178
00:09:12,428 --> 00:09:15,231
8.5% and five points at closing.
179
00:09:15,799 --> 00:09:18,201
- Cheap.
- With fed funds at next to zero?
180
00:09:18,669 --> 00:09:20,536
Why, that's practically usury.
181
00:09:20,671 --> 00:09:22,138
You want that
half a million dollars or not?
182
00:09:22,272 --> 00:09:24,140
Half a million?
183
00:09:24,274 --> 00:09:27,644
I told you I needed a million
dollars to close the deal.
184
00:09:27,778 --> 00:09:30,113
Well, that's why
I brought Big Sal over here.
185
00:09:30,246 --> 00:09:32,015
He's like a brother from another mother.
186
00:09:32,148 --> 00:09:35,919
Let's just say he has access
to some creative financing.
187
00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:38,321
You gotta be kidding me.
188
00:09:38,454 --> 00:09:41,257
Listen, listen, listen,
it's a new thing we're trying.
189
00:09:41,391 --> 00:09:43,259
It's called financing.
190
00:09:43,393 --> 00:09:45,328
We charge lower rates
than the Russian mob.
191
00:09:45,896 --> 00:09:47,463
And what the IRS don't know...
192
00:09:48,932 --> 00:09:50,066
won't hurt 'em.
193
00:09:56,206 --> 00:09:57,340
So...
194
00:09:58,541 --> 00:10:00,343
What kind of collateral
are you looking for?
195
00:10:00,911 --> 00:10:03,446
Do you need a personal guarantee?
196
00:10:03,579 --> 00:10:05,682
Nothing, nothing.
Just your word of honor.
197
00:10:05,816 --> 00:10:07,617
And a promise that you do the right thing.
198
00:10:10,954 --> 00:10:12,322
Well, what happens if the deal falls apart
199
00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:13,824
and I can't pay you back?
200
00:10:13,957 --> 00:10:15,358
Go home and watch The Godfather.
201
00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:16,793
You get the idea.
202
00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:19,295
Or maybe
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
203
00:10:21,932 --> 00:10:23,633
Pleasure doing business with you guys.
204
00:10:32,308 --> 00:10:33,676
Oh, coming.
205
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,378
Put your foot down.
206
00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:41,885
- Welcome. Come in.
- Hi, girls.
207
00:10:42,018 --> 00:10:43,653
Look who I brought with me.
208
00:10:43,787 --> 00:10:47,157
Meet Jonathan Grove, your new tenant.
209
00:10:47,290 --> 00:10:48,691
It's a pleasure to meet you.
210
00:10:48,825 --> 00:10:50,160
And his friend
211
00:10:50,293 --> 00:10:52,963
and real estate advisor,
George Barrow.
212
00:10:53,096 --> 00:10:54,664
Mr. Barrow. Pleasure.
213
00:10:54,798 --> 00:10:56,166
You as well.
214
00:10:56,299 --> 00:10:58,168
- What a lovely home.
- Oh, thank you.
215
00:10:58,301 --> 00:10:59,970
How is your plan coming along to turn
216
00:11:00,103 --> 00:11:03,439
the West Village into
a hedge funder's Disneyland?
217
00:11:05,008 --> 00:11:06,843
Very well, thank you.
218
00:11:07,643 --> 00:11:10,246
George and Jonathan
were roommates at Columbia.
219
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:12,548
Now, Jonathan has returned to New York
220
00:11:12,682 --> 00:11:14,885
to start his own venture capital fund.
221
00:11:15,018 --> 00:11:17,520
Wow. Welcome back.
Shall we sign the lease?
222
00:11:17,653 --> 00:11:19,689
- Yes!
- Yes, please.
223
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:26,729
This is where you sign,
Jonathan, to start your new life
224
00:11:26,863 --> 00:11:30,100
in the historic and charming West Village.
225
00:11:30,233 --> 00:11:31,701
Uh, not so fast, my friend.
226
00:11:32,402 --> 00:11:33,603
Before we sign the lease,
227
00:11:34,237 --> 00:11:37,440
let's go downstairs and do a walkthrough.
228
00:11:38,909 --> 00:11:40,676
You know, I normally
make my own decisions,
229
00:11:40,811 --> 00:11:43,146
at least when it comes
to investing in startups,
230
00:11:43,279 --> 00:11:44,948
but he's the townhouse expert.
231
00:11:45,081 --> 00:11:46,282
I'm just the money guy.
232
00:11:46,416 --> 00:11:47,884
Indeed.
233
00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:50,620
Come on, let's go.
234
00:11:54,424 --> 00:11:56,426
Welcome to your new home, Jonathan.
235
00:11:57,027 --> 00:11:59,662
Oh, my God.
236
00:11:59,796 --> 00:12:01,631
And the--
So the couch and the table,
237
00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,199
they come with the apartment?
238
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:04,634
They can if you'd like them to say.
239
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,002
Great. Okay.
240
00:12:06,136 --> 00:12:07,237
Does this outlet work?
241
00:12:07,370 --> 00:12:08,771
Uh, yes, they all work.
242
00:12:08,905 --> 00:12:10,273
I checked them myself.
243
00:12:10,406 --> 00:12:11,908
You see how spacious it is?
244
00:12:12,042 --> 00:12:13,743
Oh, my God.
I didn't see back there, wow.
245
00:12:13,877 --> 00:12:16,546
- Let's take a look.
- Scuff marks on the wall.
246
00:12:17,347 --> 00:12:18,815
Easy to fix.
247
00:12:18,949 --> 00:12:20,083
Do you have another light bulb?
248
00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:21,451
Of course.
249
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,722
Paint's a bit peeling.
We'll need some drywall repair.
250
00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:27,958
Absolutely.
251
00:12:35,531 --> 00:12:37,333
You're gonna have to handle this.
252
00:12:38,134 --> 00:12:40,070
Consider it handled.
253
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:43,139
Print out this email,
254
00:12:43,273 --> 00:12:44,941
attach it to the lease as a rider,
255
00:12:45,075 --> 00:12:46,977
and Jonathan will sign it.
256
00:12:47,110 --> 00:12:49,245
Personally, I think the place
is charming just the way it is.
257
00:12:50,046 --> 00:12:51,882
Well, I'll look for your email.
258
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,117
- Nice to meet you.
- You too.
259
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:56,019
Really excited for this.
This is awesome.
260
00:12:56,152 --> 00:12:57,487
Thank you. Good.
261
00:13:00,423 --> 00:13:02,025
Girls, you got yourself a tenant.
262
00:13:02,592 --> 00:13:03,960
Do you have any idea how much
263
00:13:04,094 --> 00:13:05,761
all those repairs are going to cost us?
264
00:13:05,896 --> 00:13:07,864
We need every cent of
Jonathan's first month rent
265
00:13:07,998 --> 00:13:09,966
and security deposit to pay
for the mortgage and the taxes.
266
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:11,601
Wait, I have an idea.
267
00:13:11,734 --> 00:13:13,436
I will take him down to the Little Branch,
268
00:13:13,569 --> 00:13:16,006
I'll get him wasted,
introduce him to some girls,
269
00:13:16,139 --> 00:13:18,074
he'll forget all about the stupid repairs.
270
00:13:18,208 --> 00:13:22,112
Plus, we all know a handyman
who'll do the work for cheap.
271
00:13:31,054 --> 00:13:33,823
On time with 30 seconds to spare.
272
00:13:34,790 --> 00:13:38,694
Tommy boy, you still close out
the bars and pick up the chicks.
273
00:13:39,795 --> 00:13:40,931
Mm.
274
00:13:55,645 --> 00:13:56,846
Hey, Tommy.
275
00:13:57,647 --> 00:14:00,350
How you been?
Haven't seen you around lately.
276
00:14:00,483 --> 00:14:02,352
Hey, babe. What's going on?
277
00:14:02,485 --> 00:14:03,954
Babe?
278
00:14:06,022 --> 00:14:08,191
You don't remember my name, do you?
279
00:14:08,324 --> 00:14:10,226
Sure, but of course I do.
It's uh...
280
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,794
Starts with a K.
281
00:14:13,329 --> 00:14:15,065
I let you crash
at my place for three weeks
282
00:14:15,198 --> 00:14:16,599
because you couldn't pay rent.
283
00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:20,136
Kaitlyn! Kristen? You're uh--
284
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,206
The top floor apartment
on Laker and 11th street
285
00:14:23,339 --> 00:14:25,108
above Magnolia Bakery,
where we literally did it--
286
00:14:25,241 --> 00:14:27,978
Kathleen! Oh, sorry, baby.
287
00:14:28,111 --> 00:14:29,946
I was still a little hungover
after the last night.
288
00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:32,915
- I missed you, baby.
- You know what?
289
00:14:33,649 --> 00:14:35,151
Go fuck yourself, Tommy.
290
00:14:35,285 --> 00:14:37,253
You're a total man whore.
291
00:14:49,232 --> 00:14:51,234
God damn George Barrow.
292
00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:52,802
Why did send me here?
293
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,470
He knows how much
I hate that guy.
294
00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:57,840
Oh, hey, baby. You new in town?
295
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:10,653
"To our sweet tenant, Jonathan.
296
00:15:11,554 --> 00:15:16,892
"May this little box of treats
sweeten your stay in our home."
297
00:15:21,231 --> 00:15:22,332
Hey, Lizzie.
298
00:15:23,099 --> 00:15:25,301
Got your text saying something
down here needs fixing.
299
00:15:25,435 --> 00:15:27,770
You said it was urgent.
300
00:15:27,903 --> 00:15:29,339
Yes, Tommy.
301
00:15:29,472 --> 00:15:30,973
We have a new tenant moving in on Monday
302
00:15:31,107 --> 00:15:32,608
and we have a whole punch list of things
303
00:15:32,742 --> 00:15:33,909
that we need to fix before then.
304
00:15:34,044 --> 00:15:36,146
Really? Like what?
305
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,316
The place looks like it's still
in, uh, pretty decent shape,
306
00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:41,617
as far as I can remember,
307
00:15:41,751 --> 00:15:43,019
Last time I was here...
308
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:46,756
I'll admit, it was pretty dark.
309
00:15:46,889 --> 00:15:50,126
So you do realize that my sisters and I,
310
00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:51,794
we don't make a lot of money.
311
00:15:52,528 --> 00:15:55,131
Yeah, the poor little rich girls
312
00:15:55,265 --> 00:15:56,766
live in a townhouse, make minimum wage.
313
00:15:56,899 --> 00:15:58,368
Yeah, I've heard the stories.
314
00:15:58,501 --> 00:16:00,370
So how much do you think
you're going to charge me
315
00:16:00,503 --> 00:16:02,004
to fix everything on this punch list?
316
00:16:02,138 --> 00:16:04,607
Plus slap on a fresh coat
of paint, of course.
317
00:16:04,740 --> 00:16:08,211
I was thinking maybe $500.
318
00:16:10,146 --> 00:16:12,115
What's in the box?
319
00:16:12,248 --> 00:16:14,217
Oh, no, Tommy,
those cupcakes aren't for you.
320
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:16,086
They're a housewarming present
for Jonathan.
321
00:16:16,219 --> 00:16:18,121
He's coming by later to pick up his keys.
322
00:16:33,936 --> 00:16:35,805
He won't miss just one, right?
323
00:16:35,938 --> 00:16:37,373
No. Tommy, don't.
324
00:16:41,010 --> 00:16:42,312
Yummy.
325
00:16:43,346 --> 00:16:44,747
Tommy, I said no.
326
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,716
You sure, Lizzie?
327
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,585
Because on New Year's, as I recall,
328
00:16:49,719 --> 00:16:52,388
that "no" quickly turned into
329
00:16:52,522 --> 00:16:55,791
a yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
330
00:16:55,925 --> 00:16:58,094
Yes! Yes! Yes!
331
00:16:58,228 --> 00:17:00,963
Tommy, Tommy,
Tommy, Tommy, stop!
332
00:17:01,097 --> 00:17:03,466
- Put down that cupcake or--
- Or you'll what?
333
00:17:03,599 --> 00:17:05,935
Run to the sixth precinct
and get an order of protection?
334
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,804
Cops can't protect you
from your own appetites, Lizzie.
335
00:17:09,372 --> 00:17:11,107
You have no idea how hard it is.
336
00:17:11,241 --> 00:17:14,810
Every day at work,
being surrounded by cupcakes
337
00:17:14,944 --> 00:17:18,581
and frosting and banana cream pudding,
338
00:17:18,714 --> 00:17:20,250
always having to be the good girl,
339
00:17:20,383 --> 00:17:22,118
- always having to say no.
- Why?
340
00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:23,786
'Cause you're waiting
for the day Prince Charming
341
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:25,621
walks in with your glass slipper?
342
00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:28,391
You know what you want,
Liz Perry.
343
00:17:29,692 --> 00:17:31,594
Just relax and enjoy it.
344
00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:37,200
Oh, my God.
345
00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:48,744
This is really good.
346
00:17:49,279 --> 00:17:52,215
It's, uh-- it's been a while.
347
00:17:55,084 --> 00:17:57,086
Give me 1,000 bucks.
I'll start tomorrow.
348
00:17:58,788 --> 00:18:02,825
Elizabeth Perry, the girl
who can't resist a cupcake.
349
00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:05,094
Who would have thought?
350
00:18:08,764 --> 00:18:10,065
Bye.
351
00:18:21,644 --> 00:18:23,646
Hi. I'm looking for Lydia Perry.
352
00:18:23,779 --> 00:18:25,748
Oh, hey, I'm Lydia Perry.
353
00:18:26,249 --> 00:18:27,817
I'm your personal trainer.
354
00:18:27,950 --> 00:18:30,186
Hi, Jim Bedford.
Good to meet you.
355
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,222
So, what brings you to the gym, Jim?
356
00:18:32,355 --> 00:18:34,424
It wasn't really my idea to come here.
357
00:18:35,124 --> 00:18:37,527
Usually the only thing
I exercise is my fingers.
358
00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:39,329
It's typical of most guys.
359
00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:42,832
No, I didn't mean it like that.
360
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:44,900
I'm-- I'm a software developer,
361
00:18:45,034 --> 00:18:47,870
so I just, you know, spend most
of my time just writing code,
362
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:49,772
just banging away at the keyboard.
363
00:18:49,905 --> 00:18:52,007
So you enjoy banging, too?
364
00:18:52,842 --> 00:18:54,810
No, hold on, hold on.
365
00:18:54,944 --> 00:18:56,612
No-- What I mean is,
366
00:18:56,746 --> 00:18:59,682
I'm the CEO of a social media startup,
367
00:18:59,815 --> 00:19:01,317
and I'm going on a road show next month
368
00:19:01,451 --> 00:19:02,985
to raise money from investors.
369
00:19:03,118 --> 00:19:04,854
So the VCs thought it would be a good idea
370
00:19:04,987 --> 00:19:07,323
for me to get in shape before, you know,
371
00:19:07,457 --> 00:19:09,359
I collapse in an airport and die.
372
00:19:09,492 --> 00:19:11,060
Wow, social media,
373
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,596
roadshow, investors.
374
00:19:13,729 --> 00:19:15,431
What does your company do?
375
00:19:15,565 --> 00:19:19,068
Well, we developed
an app called Chick Stalkers,
376
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:21,671
which lets guys rate
other guys ex-girlfriends
377
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:23,706
by swiping left or right on their phones.
378
00:19:23,839 --> 00:19:25,875
Consumers use it for free,
and we make money
379
00:19:26,008 --> 00:19:27,176
by selling the data that we gathered
380
00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:28,678
to porn sites and the NSA.
381
00:19:28,811 --> 00:19:30,913
I'll have to check it out.
382
00:19:31,046 --> 00:19:33,015
In the meantime, why don't you go ahead
383
00:19:33,148 --> 00:19:35,285
and hop on the treadmill
so I can check you out.
384
00:19:35,418 --> 00:19:36,852
See what kind of shape you're in?
385
00:19:36,986 --> 00:19:38,721
- Okay.
- Yep. Right over there.
386
00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:11,053
Now, we're gonna head that way.
387
00:20:13,155 --> 00:20:15,090
Wow. I'm impressed.
388
00:20:15,725 --> 00:20:17,126
Did you play sports in college?
389
00:20:18,628 --> 00:20:21,464
Well, I-- I played lacrosse at NYU,
390
00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:23,299
but we were only division three.
391
00:20:23,433 --> 00:20:24,934
Truth be told,
I spent most of my time
392
00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:26,101
warming the bench.
393
00:20:26,235 --> 00:20:28,037
Writing code, I suspect.
394
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:30,806
Yeah, actually.
I had a teammate. Oh.
395
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,675
He got dumped by this girl with huge tits,
396
00:20:32,808 --> 00:20:34,677
and he dared me to write a program
397
00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:37,146
where I ranked all the girls
at NYU based on their cup size.
398
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,281
It's actually where I got
the idea for Chick Stalkers.
399
00:20:39,415 --> 00:20:41,817
- Cool.
- Yeah.
400
00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:44,320
The only problem we're having
is getting girls to use it.
401
00:20:44,454 --> 00:20:46,322
- Really?
- You know what?
402
00:20:46,456 --> 00:20:48,491
I would actually love
a woman's point of view.
403
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:50,960
All of our developers
are just horny nerds.
404
00:20:52,928 --> 00:20:55,998
Well, I will definitely
check out your app, Jim Bedford.
405
00:20:57,467 --> 00:20:58,634
See you back here next week.
406
00:21:06,776 --> 00:21:09,645
Oh, bathroom. Yeah.
407
00:21:22,958 --> 00:21:24,860
Guess who I just met at the gym.
408
00:21:27,129 --> 00:21:28,431
Mary.
409
00:21:28,564 --> 00:21:30,500
Mary, I know you're in there
410
00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:32,535
because you never go anywhere
and you don't have a life.
411
00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:35,505
Go away, Lydia.
I'm on deadline with my blog.
412
00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:42,311
So I went to the gym, and I met this guy
413
00:21:42,445 --> 00:21:44,146
who was also named Jim and he's the CEO
414
00:21:44,279 --> 00:21:45,781
of this company called--
415
00:21:47,750 --> 00:21:51,220
"Lindsay dumps boyfriend
to shack up with dad?"
416
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:52,522
Total clickbait.
417
00:21:53,222 --> 00:21:56,158
Lindsay Lohan checking out townhouses
418
00:21:56,291 --> 00:21:59,962
"in the 10014 with
super broker Kathryn Waverly.
419
00:22:00,095 --> 00:22:02,297
"Sources close to the former
West Village resident
420
00:22:02,432 --> 00:22:05,100
"tell Townhouse Confidential,
blah, blah, blah."
421
00:22:05,234 --> 00:22:07,202
If I post it now,
I can scoop page six
422
00:22:07,336 --> 00:22:09,572
and the New York Times
real estate section.
423
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:11,941
Who gave you that tip?
424
00:22:12,074 --> 00:22:13,809
One of the addicts
that hangs out on the stoop?
425
00:22:13,943 --> 00:22:15,210
How do you even know it's true?
426
00:22:15,945 --> 00:22:18,180
I'm a journalist.
I don't reveal my sources.
427
00:22:18,313 --> 00:22:19,649
You'd have more sources
428
00:22:19,782 --> 00:22:21,383
if you left the house once in a while.
429
00:22:21,517 --> 00:22:23,686
I pick out more information
at the gym every day
430
00:22:23,819 --> 00:22:26,922
than you ever will through
your network of street people.
431
00:22:27,423 --> 00:22:29,091
Anyway, good luck.
432
00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:30,493
I'm out of here.
433
00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:19,308
Listen, sister.
If you want to get to the top
434
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:21,376
of the blogosphere, you've got to get out
435
00:23:21,511 --> 00:23:24,179
of your townhouse and do some
real journalism once in a while.
436
00:23:24,313 --> 00:23:26,448
I can't believe I actually
left my house to meet with you.
437
00:23:26,582 --> 00:23:29,318
I was on deadline with
a Lindsay Lohan exclusive.
438
00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:30,986
I could have been scooped by The Real Deal
439
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,555
or Current New York.
440
00:23:36,225 --> 00:23:38,260
I just texted you
a picture of George Barrow
441
00:23:38,393 --> 00:23:41,764
at the Waverly Diner borrowing
money from a couple of mobsters.
442
00:23:41,897 --> 00:23:44,266
Practically gift wrapped it,
for sobbing out loud.
443
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:46,736
Now, do you want to bring down
444
00:23:46,869 --> 00:23:49,805
the wicked Prince Charming of
West Village real estate or not?
445
00:23:50,873 --> 00:23:53,075
Sure, I'd love to break
that story and win a Pulitzer,
446
00:23:53,208 --> 00:23:55,177
but how do we know
you're telling the truth?
447
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:57,547
Why would George Barrow
borrow money from the mob?
448
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,881
He already has a ton of cash.
449
00:23:59,014 --> 00:24:00,482
Not as much as you'd think.
450
00:24:01,416 --> 00:24:02,618
Take a look.
451
00:24:03,218 --> 00:24:05,287
George's check from the Waverly diner.
452
00:24:05,420 --> 00:24:06,989
So, what does that prove?
453
00:24:07,122 --> 00:24:10,159
Well, he only left
a 10% tip, not his usual 25.
454
00:24:11,961 --> 00:24:14,496
My God, you're right.
455
00:24:15,197 --> 00:24:19,034
George is in serious trouble.
Give me all the dirt.
456
00:24:19,168 --> 00:24:20,703
You know what to do.
457
00:24:24,106 --> 00:24:25,207
What are you doing?
458
00:24:25,340 --> 00:24:26,642
It's a burner phone.
459
00:24:26,776 --> 00:24:28,544
Do you really think
I'm that stupid?
460
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:32,014
But you didn't tell me anything.
461
00:24:32,147 --> 00:24:34,516
I don't even know your name.
How do I get a hold of you?
462
00:24:34,650 --> 00:24:36,285
Just call me Deep Park
463
00:24:36,418 --> 00:24:38,520
and follow the money,
it won't steer you wrong.
464
00:24:52,835 --> 00:24:55,971
Oh, George.
Hi. I wasn't expecting you.
465
00:24:56,105 --> 00:24:58,040
How can I help you today?
466
00:24:58,173 --> 00:25:00,710
Well, it's just one more little thing.
467
00:25:00,843 --> 00:25:03,078
After that contractor came by
to do the repairs
468
00:25:03,212 --> 00:25:05,014
before Jonathan moved in,
469
00:25:05,147 --> 00:25:06,849
you assured me that all the
electrical outlets were working,
470
00:25:06,982 --> 00:25:10,085
but this one clearly is not.
471
00:25:10,219 --> 00:25:11,754
I had one of my electricians come by
472
00:25:11,887 --> 00:25:13,355
and test it this morning.
473
00:25:13,488 --> 00:25:15,224
Well, it was working fine until Jonathan
474
00:25:15,357 --> 00:25:17,259
had his home entertainment
system installed last week.
475
00:25:17,392 --> 00:25:18,427
I checked it myself.
476
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,230
With what? An iPhone?
477
00:25:22,131 --> 00:25:24,767
You can hardly expect my friend to run
478
00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:28,403
a 60-inch flatscreen TV,
a Bose speaker system,
479
00:25:28,537 --> 00:25:31,874
and an Xbox from an outlet that
can barely charge a cell phone.
480
00:25:32,007 --> 00:25:34,109
You're going to have to
call ConEd to upgrade the power.
481
00:25:34,243 --> 00:25:36,078
Excuse me? This is my house.
482
00:25:36,211 --> 00:25:37,446
And it's my sisters' house.
483
00:25:38,147 --> 00:25:39,882
And it was our parents house
until they were struck
484
00:25:40,015 --> 00:25:42,117
by a Green Apple tour bus
crossing 7th Avenue.
485
00:25:42,885 --> 00:25:44,820
Now, we may not have a lot of money,
486
00:25:44,954 --> 00:25:46,455
but we do the best with what we can.
487
00:25:46,588 --> 00:25:48,123
And ever since you showed up here
488
00:25:48,257 --> 00:25:50,092
with your stupid punch list,
I don't know
489
00:25:50,225 --> 00:25:52,261
how we're going to be able
to pay the mortgage this month.
490
00:25:52,394 --> 00:25:54,964
Now hold on a minute.
You're the landlord.
491
00:25:55,097 --> 00:25:57,066
You have an obligation to make repairs
492
00:25:57,199 --> 00:25:58,968
- and provide essential services.
- Like what?
493
00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:02,437
Fix the windows that haven't
been open since the '90s?
494
00:26:02,571 --> 00:26:04,606
Jonathan agreed to
everything on that punch list
495
00:26:04,740 --> 00:26:06,375
when he signed the lease.
496
00:26:06,508 --> 00:26:08,443
Now, if he isn't satisfied
with everything that
497
00:26:08,577 --> 00:26:11,213
my sisters and I have done
to make sure that he is happy,
498
00:26:11,346 --> 00:26:13,816
he can pack up
his speaker system and his Xbox
499
00:26:13,949 --> 00:26:16,118
and he can get his ass out of my house.
500
00:26:16,251 --> 00:26:17,820
But that's not going to happen--
501
00:26:17,953 --> 00:26:19,254
No, no, I'm not finished.
502
00:26:19,388 --> 00:26:21,156
At least Jonathan is a gentleman
503
00:26:21,290 --> 00:26:23,258
and thanks us for doing what we can.
504
00:26:23,392 --> 00:26:24,927
You, on the other hand,
505
00:26:25,060 --> 00:26:27,329
are a world class asshole
who wouldn't even help
506
00:26:27,462 --> 00:26:29,498
his own grandmother cross Bleaker Street.
507
00:26:30,132 --> 00:26:32,668
I know all about your little
plan to buy out the West Village
508
00:26:32,802 --> 00:26:35,137
and turn it into
a hedge funder's Disneyland,
509
00:26:35,270 --> 00:26:38,107
but there is one house that you are never
510
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,477
getting your hands on,
and that is this one.
511
00:26:42,611 --> 00:26:44,646
Now, get out!
512
00:26:45,447 --> 00:26:46,548
Okay.
513
00:26:47,683 --> 00:26:49,018
So what's the problem?
514
00:26:49,151 --> 00:26:50,686
He pays his rent, doesn't he?
515
00:26:50,820 --> 00:26:52,822
It's not that, really.
It's just--
516
00:26:52,955 --> 00:26:55,624
Every day, George Barrow comes
over to Jonathan's apartment
517
00:26:55,758 --> 00:26:58,427
and finds one more
little thing wrong with it.
518
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,662
One more little thing
that then my sisters and I
519
00:27:00,796 --> 00:27:02,231
have to pay for to repair.
520
00:27:02,865 --> 00:27:04,666
- So, just get Tommy to do it.
- Hmph.
521
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,336
Lord knows he'll do it for free.
522
00:27:08,270 --> 00:27:10,840
So all you gotta do is get
on your little knees and behave.
523
00:27:13,142 --> 00:27:16,011
'Cause if you don't, I will
because that Tommy is hot.
524
00:27:16,145 --> 00:27:18,080
Shut up!
525
00:27:19,648 --> 00:27:21,884
So what?
Tommy and I hooked up one time
526
00:27:22,017 --> 00:27:24,119
at a New Year's Eve party
that I threw at my house.
527
00:27:24,253 --> 00:27:25,921
We were drunk, it didn't count.
528
00:27:26,655 --> 00:27:28,724
And I did ask Tommy
to help me with the repairs,
529
00:27:28,858 --> 00:27:30,525
but he flaked on me midway through.
530
00:27:31,994 --> 00:27:33,328
Anyway, when George came over
531
00:27:33,462 --> 00:27:35,064
to Jonathan's apartment yesterday,
532
00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:36,732
he started complaining
about an electrical outlet
533
00:27:36,866 --> 00:27:39,068
that wasn't working
and I just-- I lost it.
534
00:27:40,635 --> 00:27:42,337
Now, I'm afraid
I'm going to lose Jonathan, too.
535
00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:47,877
So what's the plan, honey?
536
00:27:48,543 --> 00:27:50,179
I know you got one.
You always do.
537
00:27:51,013 --> 00:27:52,748
Well, this one's Lydia's idea.
538
00:27:52,882 --> 00:27:55,084
We're going to throw
Jonathan a party on Friday night
539
00:27:55,217 --> 00:27:56,819
at the Little Branch.
540
00:27:56,952 --> 00:27:58,821
Invite some cute girls,
get the guys trashed,
541
00:27:58,954 --> 00:28:00,555
and before they know it,
they'll forget all about
542
00:28:00,689 --> 00:28:02,424
that stupid electrical outlet.
543
00:28:03,492 --> 00:28:06,261
Count me in.
I'll be there with bells on.
544
00:28:06,395 --> 00:28:08,397
Yes!
545
00:28:09,331 --> 00:28:10,399
All right.
546
00:28:17,339 --> 00:28:19,241
Hey, Billie. Sorry, I'm late.
547
00:28:19,374 --> 00:28:21,610
My hair dryer wasn't working again.
548
00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:23,212
Have you seen Jonathan?
549
00:28:23,345 --> 00:28:25,080
We need to make sure
he's having a good time.
550
00:28:25,214 --> 00:28:27,249
- George too, I guess.
- Yes, ma'am.
551
00:28:27,382 --> 00:28:29,418
I think he's over there
talking to your sister
552
00:28:29,551 --> 00:28:31,253
- and her friends from the gym.
- Come on, George,
553
00:28:31,386 --> 00:28:33,055
- just have one drink.
- Jonathan.
554
00:28:33,188 --> 00:28:35,490
You know that I am training
for the half marathon
555
00:28:35,624 --> 00:28:36,926
in Battery Park next month.
556
00:28:37,459 --> 00:28:39,929
Even one drink
could derail my preparation.
557
00:28:40,062 --> 00:28:41,596
You should try a master cleanse.
558
00:28:41,730 --> 00:28:43,465
Yeah, that worked for me
when I was getting ready
559
00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:45,868
for the Miss International
Triathlon Competition.
560
00:28:46,001 --> 00:28:47,970
For me, it's all about clean living.
561
00:28:48,871 --> 00:28:51,340
Three meals a day,
eight hours of sleep a night...
562
00:28:52,808 --> 00:28:54,176
five mile run up and down
563
00:28:54,309 --> 00:28:55,945
the West Side Highway every morning.
564
00:28:56,411 --> 00:28:59,982
Sounds like a very
interesting lifestyle, George,
565
00:29:00,115 --> 00:29:01,650
but what do you do for fun?
566
00:29:03,886 --> 00:29:06,455
Oh, George doesn't believe
in the word "fun."
567
00:29:06,588 --> 00:29:07,923
Yeah, back when
we were in business school,
568
00:29:08,057 --> 00:29:09,524
George was always hitting the books
569
00:29:09,658 --> 00:29:11,260
while the rest of us were getting trashed.
570
00:29:11,393 --> 00:29:13,662
That's why he got
the GPA and I got the girls.
571
00:29:16,431 --> 00:29:18,000
Be fair, Jonathan.
572
00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:19,969
You're making me out
to be some kind of hermit.
573
00:29:20,102 --> 00:29:23,605
I'm not looking for a woman
at all at this point in my life.
574
00:29:23,738 --> 00:29:26,275
I'm only here right now because
Jonathan dragged me along.
575
00:29:30,779 --> 00:29:31,981
Did somebody say drag?
576
00:29:34,283 --> 00:29:37,186
I-- I think I have to go.
Big day tomorrow.
577
00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:39,454
Oh, you're not going anywhere, sweetheart.
578
00:29:41,456 --> 00:29:44,026
Drink this. It'll put
some hair on your chest.
579
00:29:46,728 --> 00:29:49,364
Billie, what are you doing?
You're gonna ruin everything.
580
00:29:49,999 --> 00:29:53,002
George, I hope you can forgive
my sister and her friends.
581
00:29:53,135 --> 00:29:54,703
They're just trying
to show you a good time.
582
00:29:56,371 --> 00:29:57,739
Calm down, Lizzie.
583
00:29:57,873 --> 00:29:59,808
We're just having a little fun, right?
584
00:29:59,942 --> 00:30:01,610
Yeah.
585
00:30:01,743 --> 00:30:04,914
Now, George, when was
the last time you got laid?
586
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,516
Because even though
Lizzie here thinks
587
00:30:07,649 --> 00:30:09,351
you're a world class asshole,
588
00:30:10,285 --> 00:30:13,155
I think you'll melt
like butter in my mouth.
589
00:30:15,657 --> 00:30:16,992
Bring us another bottle of Grey Goose.
590
00:30:17,692 --> 00:30:19,995
This is the best party I've
been to in a really long time.
591
00:30:23,798 --> 00:30:26,001
Girlfriend. Like your style.
592
00:30:44,186 --> 00:30:46,055
Ugh, who is it?
593
00:30:56,665 --> 00:30:59,034
- Hello?
- Are you still in bed?
594
00:30:59,168 --> 00:31:01,136
Charlotte, who died?
595
00:31:01,270 --> 00:31:03,005
No one yet, but it's going to be you
596
00:31:03,138 --> 00:31:04,873
if you don't tell me why I wasn't invited
597
00:31:05,007 --> 00:31:07,076
to that bash you threw
at the Little Branch last night.
598
00:31:07,209 --> 00:31:09,678
I am so sorry. Let me guess.
599
00:31:09,811 --> 00:31:11,981
You read about it in
Townhouse Confidential?
600
00:31:12,114 --> 00:31:14,083
I know. I'm such a nerd.
601
00:31:14,216 --> 00:31:16,751
But still, I am one of your oldest friends
602
00:31:16,885 --> 00:31:18,520
and I only live two doors down the block.
603
00:31:18,653 --> 00:31:20,522
Oh, my head.
604
00:31:21,090 --> 00:31:22,857
By the way,
Lizzie, did you get a chance
605
00:31:22,992 --> 00:31:24,926
to check out Straight
Easy Personals today?
606
00:31:25,060 --> 00:31:28,663
Charlotte, I told you, I am done
with those dating sites.
607
00:31:28,797 --> 00:31:30,432
Hold on a minute.
608
00:31:30,565 --> 00:31:33,302
The guy in this ad here
sounds perfect for you.
609
00:31:33,435 --> 00:31:35,704
Ready? Real estate pro.
610
00:31:35,837 --> 00:31:38,907
Fed up with cheaters and game players.
611
00:31:39,041 --> 00:31:40,242
Me, too.
612
00:31:40,375 --> 00:31:43,912
He's 34, 6'2,
613
00:31:44,046 --> 00:31:47,016
190, sensitive, sincere, and single.
614
00:31:47,149 --> 00:31:50,152
"My ideal date would be
to come over to your place,
615
00:31:50,285 --> 00:31:53,555
whip up some spaghetti
carbonara, wash the dishes,
616
00:31:53,688 --> 00:31:56,225
put them away,
then I would carry you to bed,
617
00:31:56,358 --> 00:32:01,096
give you a relaxing massage,
and bang you all night long."
618
00:32:01,230 --> 00:32:04,166
Charlotte, that has to be a joke.
619
00:32:04,299 --> 00:32:08,737
There is no guy who's like that,
who's single and straight
620
00:32:08,870 --> 00:32:11,406
and smart and good looking
and lives in New York City.
621
00:32:11,540 --> 00:32:13,142
Well, it's your call, Lizzie.
622
00:32:13,275 --> 00:32:15,144
Like they say in those lotto commercials,
623
00:32:15,277 --> 00:32:16,978
you got to be in it to win it.
624
00:32:17,112 --> 00:32:19,448
I'm going to bed now, okay?
625
00:32:19,581 --> 00:32:21,483
Goodbye.
626
00:33:07,262 --> 00:33:09,831
- Elizabeth Perry?
- Do I know you?
627
00:33:09,964 --> 00:33:13,468
Sal, Sal Carmine.
You answered my ad, right?
628
00:33:13,602 --> 00:33:15,204
Oh, sorry.
629
00:33:15,337 --> 00:33:17,906
I was expecting someone
a little bit different.
630
00:33:20,309 --> 00:33:22,277
Perhaps a little bit taller?
631
00:33:22,411 --> 00:33:25,380
Yeah, I get that a lot.
That's why I put 6'2.
632
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:30,919
You know, chicks are genetically
programmed to dig taller guys.
633
00:33:31,052 --> 00:33:32,421
- Are we?
- Guys like me,
634
00:33:32,554 --> 00:33:34,055
in the 5'6 and under club,
635
00:33:34,189 --> 00:33:35,957
we don't stand a chance.
636
00:33:36,091 --> 00:33:38,093
Yeah, and I did my homework
on those dating sites, too.
637
00:33:38,227 --> 00:33:43,365
Chicks don't like: bald guys,
fat guys, or married guys.
638
00:33:43,498 --> 00:33:45,667
They like the Prince Charming type.
639
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:49,271
You know, like Mark Darcy
from the Bridget Jones Diary.
640
00:33:49,404 --> 00:33:51,240
Hold on a second.
Are you married?
641
00:33:51,373 --> 00:33:53,142
Yeah.
642
00:33:53,742 --> 00:33:56,445
I got three kids in
Catholic school on Long Island.
643
00:33:56,578 --> 00:33:58,247
Don't get me started on the tuition.
644
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,015
You know, my wife, she's a decent cook,
645
00:34:01,150 --> 00:34:02,451
but she don't want to give me head
646
00:34:02,584 --> 00:34:04,253
unless I bathe her toes in Guccis.
647
00:34:04,386 --> 00:34:06,255
Yeah, so I thought, you know,
getting on a dating site
648
00:34:06,388 --> 00:34:08,723
would be a hell of a lot
cheaper than hiring a hooker.
649
00:34:08,857 --> 00:34:10,759
Oh, my God. You are disgusting!
I'm out of here!
650
00:34:10,892 --> 00:34:12,261
Wait, come here.
Where you going?
651
00:34:12,894 --> 00:34:15,297
Come on, let's go back to
my Lexus, I got a big back seat.
652
00:34:15,430 --> 00:34:17,632
I-- What are we,
in high school? Absolutely not.
653
00:34:17,766 --> 00:34:19,134
You know you want me, baby.
654
00:34:19,268 --> 00:34:20,802
- Come on.
- I do not.
655
00:34:20,935 --> 00:34:22,504
Let me play
connect the dots on your shirt.
656
00:34:22,637 --> 00:34:24,439
Oh, my God. Get away
from my house, you creep.
657
00:34:26,275 --> 00:34:29,778
Take my card.
I'm a licensed mortgage broker.
658
00:34:30,612 --> 00:34:32,080
Do you need to refinance your loan?
659
00:34:32,214 --> 00:34:33,782
I'll get you the cheapest rates in town.
660
00:34:33,915 --> 00:34:35,317
My loan's just fine, thank you.
661
00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:37,319
Listen, by the look of your house,
662
00:34:37,452 --> 00:34:39,554
it looks like you're going
to need some renovations.
663
00:34:39,688 --> 00:34:42,591
And you? You look like
you seriously need to get laid.
664
00:34:42,724 --> 00:34:44,259
Oh. Goodbye.
665
00:34:45,026 --> 00:34:46,495
- Call me.
- Never!
666
00:34:51,900 --> 00:34:53,134
ConEd bill.
667
00:34:53,735 --> 00:34:56,104
Ooh, Pottery Barn catalog. Okay.
668
00:34:56,238 --> 00:34:57,772
Green Piece solicitation.
669
00:34:58,740 --> 00:35:00,842
Hudson River Bank? What?
670
00:35:14,155 --> 00:35:15,457
Default?
671
00:35:17,292 --> 00:35:21,396
Forclose-- What? Oh, my God.
672
00:35:36,177 --> 00:35:37,946
Good morning, Lizzie.
673
00:35:38,079 --> 00:35:40,114
Oh, don't you think it's a little early
674
00:35:40,249 --> 00:35:42,484
in the day to be drinking alone?
675
00:35:42,617 --> 00:35:44,386
Good news.
676
00:35:46,855 --> 00:35:49,624
So, anyway, what did you
want to talk to me about?
677
00:35:49,758 --> 00:35:52,994
- Is it business or personal?
- Both.
678
00:35:53,127 --> 00:35:56,565
Turns out my Prince Charming
from the Street Easy Personals
679
00:35:56,698 --> 00:36:00,034
was a married creep from Long Island.
680
00:36:00,735 --> 00:36:03,572
And then, I got a love letter
yesterday from the bank
681
00:36:03,705 --> 00:36:05,774
saying that they're going
to repossess the house.
682
00:36:07,309 --> 00:36:08,477
The bank sent you a foreclosure notice?
683
00:36:08,610 --> 00:36:10,144
Yup.
684
00:36:10,279 --> 00:36:11,580
The mortgage payment
is supposed to come out
685
00:36:11,713 --> 00:36:13,582
of your checking account every month.
686
00:36:13,715 --> 00:36:15,250
Have you been receiving any
calls from collection agencies?
687
00:36:15,384 --> 00:36:17,018
No. Ever since you set me up on autopay,
688
00:36:17,151 --> 00:36:18,653
I haven't missed a payment.
689
00:36:18,787 --> 00:36:19,988
You're not only a great friend, Charlotte,
690
00:36:20,121 --> 00:36:21,155
you are an excellent bookkeeper.
691
00:36:21,290 --> 00:36:22,457
I know.
692
00:36:23,758 --> 00:36:24,959
Hold on a minute.
693
00:36:26,027 --> 00:36:27,729
Remember that time you went
to the Hudson River Bank
694
00:36:27,862 --> 00:36:29,731
and I helped you apply
for a home equity credit line?
695
00:36:29,864 --> 00:36:31,600
- Yeah.
- Whatever happened with that?
696
00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:33,702
The bank gave us
a $100,000 line of credit,
697
00:36:33,835 --> 00:36:35,304
but I never used it.
698
00:36:35,437 --> 00:36:36,871
You know how I feel about borrowing money
699
00:36:37,005 --> 00:36:38,373
that I can't pay back.
700
00:36:38,507 --> 00:36:40,041
The bank sent us a book of checks,
701
00:36:40,174 --> 00:36:42,176
which I put in my desk
drawer and never touched.
702
00:36:51,252 --> 00:36:53,288
No!
703
00:36:54,789 --> 00:36:56,458
So then, I turn around
704
00:36:56,591 --> 00:36:59,328
and this dude was like,
"Hey, can I buy you shot?"
705
00:36:59,461 --> 00:37:01,563
He was so hot.
You probably saw him.
706
00:37:01,696 --> 00:37:04,299
He just left, actually.
707
00:37:05,867 --> 00:37:07,736
Another family meeting.
708
00:37:07,869 --> 00:37:11,573
We haven't spent this much time
together since Mom and Dad died.
709
00:37:15,444 --> 00:37:18,112
Lydia, sit down.
This is serious.
710
00:37:24,886 --> 00:37:27,622
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
711
00:37:27,756 --> 00:37:28,990
out of my desk drawer.
712
00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:31,526
What? How did you let that happen?
713
00:37:31,660 --> 00:37:33,595
Me? Maybe you would know
something about this
714
00:37:33,728 --> 00:37:35,263
if you weren't so drunk last night.
715
00:37:35,397 --> 00:37:36,865
- So this is my fault?
- Well, maybe,
716
00:37:36,998 --> 00:37:38,967
you're the only one who lets in random men
717
00:37:39,100 --> 00:37:40,435
at three o'clock in the morning.
718
00:37:40,569 --> 00:37:42,971
Sisters, please, can we just work together
719
00:37:43,104 --> 00:37:44,773
for, like, five minutes?
720
00:37:44,906 --> 00:37:46,508
You're right, Mary.
721
00:37:46,641 --> 00:37:48,176
The home equity credit line
that we took out
722
00:37:48,309 --> 00:37:50,345
gives the bank the right to sell our house
723
00:37:50,479 --> 00:37:52,581
after three missed mortgage payments.
724
00:37:52,714 --> 00:37:56,885
That means we have seven days
to come up with $100,000.
725
00:37:57,018 --> 00:37:59,354
$100,000?
726
00:37:59,488 --> 00:38:02,290
No. No. You're so stupid, Liz.
727
00:38:02,424 --> 00:38:04,359
I studied mortgage financing at NYU,
728
00:38:04,493 --> 00:38:06,461
and I can tell you that
a bank can't just foreclose
729
00:38:06,595 --> 00:38:08,062
on your house after
a couple of missed payments.
730
00:38:08,196 --> 00:38:09,731
- It could take years.
- No, Lydia,
731
00:38:09,864 --> 00:38:11,700
there's a clause in our contract.
732
00:38:11,833 --> 00:38:13,502
The three strikes you're out rule.
733
00:38:13,635 --> 00:38:15,504
I guess that's why the guys
over at Hudson River Bank
734
00:38:15,637 --> 00:38:17,005
gave us such a great rate.
735
00:38:17,138 --> 00:38:18,707
But that's mortgage fraud.
736
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:20,842
We could sue them or expose them
737
00:38:20,975 --> 00:38:22,844
on the Daily Beast or BuzzFeed.
738
00:38:22,977 --> 00:38:24,513
I think we need to go to the police.
739
00:38:24,646 --> 00:38:26,047
Okay. Don't worry.
740
00:38:26,180 --> 00:38:27,516
I know some guys down at the gym
741
00:38:27,649 --> 00:38:29,250
who will be happy to bail us out.
742
00:38:29,384 --> 00:38:31,185
I'll put out the word on
Townhouse Confidential.
743
00:38:31,319 --> 00:38:33,087
Are you kidding me? Fine.
744
00:38:33,221 --> 00:38:35,256
I will go down there and talk
to Detective Ortiz myself.
745
00:38:45,534 --> 00:38:46,801
Detective Ortiz.
746
00:38:46,935 --> 00:38:48,336
Oh, dios mio.
747
00:38:48,470 --> 00:38:51,406
Elizabeth Perry. We meet again.
748
00:38:51,540 --> 00:38:53,207
You remember me?
749
00:38:53,341 --> 00:38:57,011
How could I forget a damsel
who's always in distress?
750
00:38:57,145 --> 00:38:58,547
What is it this time?
751
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,114
Your-- your grandmother's pearl necklace?
752
00:39:00,248 --> 00:39:01,850
Your sister's diamond earring?
753
00:39:02,316 --> 00:39:04,453
A solar eclipse
over Washington Square park?
754
00:39:04,586 --> 00:39:05,854
No, Detective Ortiz.
755
00:39:05,987 --> 00:39:07,722
This time it's something serious.
756
00:39:07,856 --> 00:39:10,291
Someone broke into our house
and stole the checkbook
757
00:39:10,425 --> 00:39:11,626
for our home equity credit line.
758
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,495
They wrote a bunch of checks
759
00:39:13,628 --> 00:39:15,329
and drained all of the equity
out of our townhouse.
760
00:39:15,464 --> 00:39:17,165
Now, the bank wants to take the house
761
00:39:17,298 --> 00:39:18,767
because we haven't been
making payments on the money
762
00:39:18,900 --> 00:39:20,334
that we didn't know we borrowed.
763
00:39:20,469 --> 00:39:21,836
Tragic.
764
00:39:21,970 --> 00:39:24,072
When did this happen?
Last night?
765
00:39:24,205 --> 00:39:26,708
I don't know. I just noticed the
checkbook missing this morning,
766
00:39:26,841 --> 00:39:28,276
but it could have happened months ago.
767
00:39:28,409 --> 00:39:31,045
Do you have any idea
who might have taken it?
768
00:39:31,179 --> 00:39:33,281
Has anyone unusual been
to the houses recently?
769
00:39:33,948 --> 00:39:36,050
A plumber? A FedEx guy?
770
00:39:36,184 --> 00:39:37,886
Professor Dumbledore?
771
00:39:38,019 --> 00:39:39,888
Well, my sister,
Lydia, does bring home
772
00:39:40,021 --> 00:39:41,490
all these random men
just about every weekend.
773
00:39:41,623 --> 00:39:43,558
- Oh, yeah.
- And then on New Year's,
774
00:39:43,692 --> 00:39:46,194
there was this handyman
775
00:39:46,327 --> 00:39:48,096
and a lot of champagne
and a couple cupcakes--
776
00:39:48,229 --> 00:39:49,531
No.
777
00:39:49,664 --> 00:39:50,699
Here's my card.
778
00:39:51,900 --> 00:39:54,435
If you think of any more
information, give me a call.
779
00:39:54,569 --> 00:39:57,271
In the meantime,
if we see anybody walking down
780
00:39:57,405 --> 00:39:59,708
Bleaker Street
with a suitcase full of cash,
781
00:39:59,841 --> 00:40:01,242
we'll give you a call.
782
00:40:05,714 --> 00:40:07,982
Well, Jim,
I think we'll both will agree
783
00:40:08,116 --> 00:40:10,351
that I've added a lot
of value to the development
784
00:40:10,485 --> 00:40:11,920
of the Chick Stalkers app.
785
00:40:12,053 --> 00:40:14,122
I mean, come on,
downloads have gone way up
786
00:40:14,255 --> 00:40:16,758
now that I've clued you
into what women really want.
787
00:40:16,891 --> 00:40:18,593
Didn't really expect to get a sales pitch
788
00:40:18,727 --> 00:40:19,994
this early in the morning.
789
00:40:21,129 --> 00:40:22,564
That's not what I'm talking about.
790
00:40:23,397 --> 00:40:24,766
Okay, okay. You know what?
791
00:40:24,899 --> 00:40:26,601
I will talk to my DCs and I will see
792
00:40:26,735 --> 00:40:28,436
if I can get you
some friends and family shares
793
00:40:28,570 --> 00:40:30,171
before we go on the roadshow.
794
00:40:30,304 --> 00:40:32,974
How can you think of money
at a time like this, Jim?
795
00:40:33,107 --> 00:40:35,977
Can't you see that
what I'm really looking for...
796
00:40:36,778 --> 00:40:38,146
is love?
797
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:40,615
- Love?
- Mm-hm.
798
00:40:40,749 --> 00:40:42,717
But you told me you were the hookup queen
799
00:40:42,851 --> 00:40:44,385
of the West Village.
800
00:40:44,519 --> 00:40:45,854
That's where you got all those great ideas
801
00:40:45,987 --> 00:40:47,255
for Chick Stalkers, right?
802
00:40:47,922 --> 00:40:51,626
Yes, but now that
I've met you, Jim, I've changed.
803
00:40:52,326 --> 00:40:56,631
Now all I want is to
settle down with a man I love,
804
00:40:56,765 --> 00:41:01,469
cuddle up in our 25 foot wide
townhouse west of 7th Avenue,
805
00:41:01,603 --> 00:41:04,405
and just pump out lots of babies.
806
00:41:05,206 --> 00:41:07,408
I see you've been
reading my Bumble profile.
807
00:41:08,209 --> 00:41:13,481
It's true. I want to settle down
with a nice, old fashioned girl.
808
00:41:13,615 --> 00:41:15,216
But, Lydia...
809
00:41:15,349 --> 00:41:17,185
unless you've had a personality transplant
810
00:41:17,318 --> 00:41:20,822
in the last 24 hours,
that girl is just not you.
811
00:41:21,956 --> 00:41:25,960
You look scorching hot
in those Lululemon shorts,
812
00:41:26,094 --> 00:41:29,530
but I love you for your mind.
813
00:41:29,664 --> 00:41:31,900
- Do you want the truth?
- Yes.
814
00:41:32,033 --> 00:41:33,501
Well, okay.
815
00:41:34,135 --> 00:41:36,705
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
816
00:41:36,838 --> 00:41:39,373
off of my sister Lizzie's desk
and now we have to get
817
00:41:39,507 --> 00:41:42,210
our hands on $100,000 by next week
818
00:41:42,343 --> 00:41:44,045
or the bank takes our house.
819
00:41:44,545 --> 00:41:46,581
Well, that's terrible.
I had no idea.
820
00:41:46,715 --> 00:41:50,652
You know, I actually really
hate that stupid brownstone
821
00:41:50,785 --> 00:41:52,220
that we inherited from our parents.
822
00:41:52,353 --> 00:41:54,422
But my sisters won't sell it
823
00:41:54,555 --> 00:41:55,990
and I'm the only one in the house
824
00:41:56,124 --> 00:41:59,227
who has any brains or makes any money.
825
00:42:01,462 --> 00:42:02,864
You're trying to help your sisters?
826
00:42:03,531 --> 00:42:05,399
You really do have family values.
827
00:42:05,533 --> 00:42:06,801
My sweet Lydia.
828
00:42:08,269 --> 00:42:09,938
I never would have guessed.
829
00:42:27,822 --> 00:42:29,290
I hope you like it.
830
00:42:29,423 --> 00:42:31,359
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
831
00:42:35,563 --> 00:42:38,432
Wow, those cupcakes look so good.
832
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:40,601
You know, I love a woman
833
00:42:40,735 --> 00:42:42,303
who knows her way around the kitchen.
834
00:42:42,436 --> 00:42:45,473
Oh, I didn't make those myself,
I just iced them.
835
00:42:45,606 --> 00:42:47,909
I'm the assistant chief
manager at Magnolia Bakery.
836
00:42:48,042 --> 00:42:49,878
Our bakers bake those fresh every day.
837
00:42:50,745 --> 00:42:52,914
I bet you your oven is pretty fresh.
838
00:42:53,047 --> 00:42:55,717
My oven is actually off. Thanks.
839
00:42:56,217 --> 00:42:57,551
You know what?
840
00:42:57,686 --> 00:42:58,920
Let's get down to business, shall we?
841
00:42:59,053 --> 00:43:00,922
I would love that. Yes, please.
842
00:43:01,055 --> 00:43:06,861
So, how much money do you make
working at this cupcake shop?
843
00:43:06,995 --> 00:43:09,263
I get $17 an hour
plus a share of the tip jar.
844
00:43:09,397 --> 00:43:12,500
And Magnolia's isn't just a cupcake shop.
845
00:43:12,633 --> 00:43:14,468
Tourists come from
all over the world to taste
846
00:43:14,602 --> 00:43:17,706
the baked goods that put
Sex in the City on the map.
847
00:43:20,408 --> 00:43:23,077
All right, well, how about your sisters?
848
00:43:23,544 --> 00:43:25,747
What do they contribute
to the household income?
849
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:29,851
I'd say altogether we bring in
about $125,000 a year.
850
00:43:29,984 --> 00:43:31,619
Okay, based on your income
851
00:43:31,753 --> 00:43:34,155
and the rent you're getting
from the apartment,
852
00:43:34,288 --> 00:43:35,857
I could probably
get you a new mortgage in,
853
00:43:35,990 --> 00:43:38,960
you know, like, say, a couple of months.
854
00:43:40,261 --> 00:43:42,864
Oh, um... we actually need it by next week.
855
00:43:42,997 --> 00:43:45,499
Otherwise the bank
is going to take our house.
856
00:43:51,272 --> 00:43:52,573
Oh.
857
00:43:52,707 --> 00:43:54,876
Well, you know,
858
00:43:55,009 --> 00:43:57,278
I could maybe talk to the bank.
859
00:43:57,411 --> 00:43:59,047
Oh, yeah.
860
00:43:59,180 --> 00:44:02,951
- And maybe speed up the process.
- That would be great.
861
00:44:03,084 --> 00:44:06,454
If there's just, like,
one thing you could do for me.
862
00:44:06,587 --> 00:44:08,422
Oh, um, Sal.
I'm not that kind of girl.
863
00:44:09,023 --> 00:44:10,591
Oh. Looks like the power went out.
864
00:44:10,725 --> 00:44:12,526
Better go check on that.
You know your way out.
865
00:44:12,660 --> 00:44:14,562
I'll get you that mortgage right away.
866
00:44:21,302 --> 00:44:22,703
- Who's there?
- Ah! Oh, my God.
867
00:44:22,837 --> 00:44:24,438
This is my house. Who are you?
868
00:44:25,106 --> 00:44:26,875
George Barrow?
869
00:44:27,008 --> 00:44:29,077
You think you can just burst
in here whenever you please?
870
00:44:29,210 --> 00:44:31,012
Well, I could just as easily ask you
871
00:44:31,145 --> 00:44:32,646
the same question, Elizabeth.
872
00:44:32,781 --> 00:44:34,648
The lease Jonathan signed
does not permit you
873
00:44:34,783 --> 00:44:37,485
to enter his apartment without
three days written notice
874
00:44:37,618 --> 00:44:38,652
unless there's an emergency.
875
00:44:38,787 --> 00:44:40,554
Oh, there was an emergency.
876
00:44:40,688 --> 00:44:42,456
And the last time I checked,
877
00:44:42,590 --> 00:44:44,625
your name is not on the lease
as an additional occupant.
878
00:44:44,759 --> 00:44:47,461
So, why did you come over here
unannounced on a Saturday night?
879
00:44:47,595 --> 00:44:50,531
I came here to fix that faulty outlet
880
00:44:50,664 --> 00:44:52,466
you and your contractor
could never seem to fix
881
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,037
before Jonathan flies back
from California tomorrow night.
882
00:44:56,170 --> 00:44:58,272
And then the electricity went out.
883
00:45:02,543 --> 00:45:04,445
Oh. Damn it.
884
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,783
Yep. Yeah.
That's an entire blackout.
885
00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:10,618
Yeah, all of Lower Manhattan.
886
00:45:10,751 --> 00:45:12,821
Okay, okay,
887
00:45:12,954 --> 00:45:14,823
well, now Jonathan won't have
any electricity at all.
888
00:45:16,190 --> 00:45:17,391
Do you happen to have a generator?
889
00:45:17,959 --> 00:45:20,228
No, but I might have
some leftover firewood
890
00:45:20,361 --> 00:45:21,629
from Hurricane Sandy.
891
00:45:22,596 --> 00:45:24,165
- Oh, you were here for that?
- Yeah.
892
00:45:24,298 --> 00:45:26,100
I was in this house
for six days with nothing.
893
00:45:26,234 --> 00:45:27,969
- It was awful.
- Oh, I remember.
894
00:45:28,102 --> 00:45:32,040
Yeah. I made a fire
in my townhouse for Sandy.
895
00:45:32,673 --> 00:45:37,145
Oh. Would you
want to make one here for me?
896
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:41,382
Yes. Yes, I would.
897
00:45:42,183 --> 00:45:43,684
All right. Follow me.
898
00:45:44,485 --> 00:45:45,686
Okay.
899
00:45:46,587 --> 00:45:47,621
- Well, cheers to you.
- Cheers.
900
00:45:51,725 --> 00:45:53,761
I mean, I guess I am partial
to dormer windows
901
00:45:53,895 --> 00:45:55,864
because I grew up in
a federal style townhouse,
902
00:45:55,997 --> 00:46:00,168
but still, Greek revival,
it leaves me cold.
903
00:46:00,301 --> 00:46:01,936
Oh, same here.
904
00:46:02,070 --> 00:46:04,072
You know those Italianate
brownstones on 9th street?
905
00:46:04,205 --> 00:46:06,841
I think they should be
banished to Brooklyn Heights.
906
00:46:08,642 --> 00:46:11,412
I have no idea you were
a townhouse junkie, too.
907
00:46:12,046 --> 00:46:13,781
Born and bred
right here in the West Village.
908
00:46:14,582 --> 00:46:16,450
It's funny that
we've never hung out before.
909
00:46:18,319 --> 00:46:20,321
Two sides to the story, though, right?
910
00:46:20,454 --> 00:46:22,356
I mean, on the one hand,
everybody hates you
911
00:46:22,490 --> 00:46:24,292
because you get to live in your own
912
00:46:24,425 --> 00:46:26,660
little castle in the West Village.
913
00:46:27,195 --> 00:46:30,464
But on the other hand,
there's a million problems
914
00:46:30,598 --> 00:46:32,867
to deal with every single day.
915
00:46:33,001 --> 00:46:35,003
Yeah, for me, those problems are mice
916
00:46:35,136 --> 00:46:38,039
and bugs and the radiators
that hiss all winter long.
917
00:46:39,107 --> 00:46:42,343
But what problems could you
possibly have, George Barrow?
918
00:46:43,077 --> 00:46:44,712
Oh, trust me.
919
00:46:44,845 --> 00:46:47,515
Being the crown prince
of West Village real estate
920
00:46:47,648 --> 00:46:49,517
is not all it's cracked out to be.
921
00:46:49,650 --> 00:46:52,553
Oh, why not? Because you have to
share your castle with a queen?
922
00:46:54,355 --> 00:46:56,024
Don't even get me started on my mother.
923
00:46:57,058 --> 00:46:58,559
She's the one who wants to build a dynasty
924
00:46:58,692 --> 00:47:00,861
in the West Village, not me.
925
00:47:01,862 --> 00:47:06,534
All I ever wanted was
to be an architect like my dad.
926
00:47:09,603 --> 00:47:10,905
Oh, um...
927
00:47:11,039 --> 00:47:14,208
Oh, my. Look at this. All right.
928
00:47:19,747 --> 00:47:21,782
- That's a good one.
- That's a large pour.
929
00:47:21,916 --> 00:47:23,551
A village pour.
I'm gonna take that..
930
00:47:25,253 --> 00:47:26,754
Cheers.
931
00:47:29,823 --> 00:47:31,059
Let's play a game.
932
00:47:31,993 --> 00:47:33,361
- Okay.
- Okay.
933
00:47:41,469 --> 00:47:43,337
113 Bedford.
934
00:47:44,705 --> 00:47:46,674
Date and builder.
935
00:47:47,408 --> 00:47:48,642
That's too easy.
936
00:47:48,776 --> 00:47:50,211
There's a plaque on the facade
937
00:47:50,344 --> 00:47:52,280
that I see every day on my way to work.
938
00:47:52,413 --> 00:47:54,448
George Harrison, 1842.
939
00:47:54,582 --> 00:47:56,417
- Not the singer.
- Correct.
940
00:47:57,051 --> 00:47:58,987
- Your turn.
- Okay.
941
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:01,289
Ooh, skinniest house in the West Village.
942
00:48:01,755 --> 00:48:04,258
Oh, come on, Lizzie,
everybody knows that one.
943
00:48:04,892 --> 00:48:06,794
75 and a half Bedford,
944
00:48:06,927 --> 00:48:08,762
nine and a half feet wide.
945
00:48:09,497 --> 00:48:11,365
The Edna St. Vincent
Millay House.
946
00:48:15,736 --> 00:48:16,937
Okay.
947
00:48:19,207 --> 00:48:20,408
How about this one?
948
00:48:22,110 --> 00:48:23,844
59 Morton.
949
00:48:25,946 --> 00:48:27,848
You've actually been
inside this townhouse before.
950
00:48:27,982 --> 00:48:29,617
Although you probably don't remember.
951
00:48:31,085 --> 00:48:33,621
It was a very long time ago.
You were very little.
952
00:48:36,457 --> 00:48:37,725
I'll give you a clue.
953
00:48:39,627 --> 00:48:40,828
Birthday party.
954
00:48:42,463 --> 00:48:43,831
The stairs.
955
00:48:45,599 --> 00:48:47,968
Liz, are you asleep?
956
00:48:50,071 --> 00:48:51,605
Lizzie?
957
00:49:31,112 --> 00:49:32,580
Uh, Tommy Leroy?
958
00:49:32,713 --> 00:49:34,715
What the hell are you doing here?
959
00:49:35,849 --> 00:49:37,285
The power went out last night
960
00:49:37,418 --> 00:49:39,153
and didn't come back on this morning.
961
00:49:39,287 --> 00:49:41,822
I figured I'd drop by and check
on you and your sisters.
962
00:49:41,955 --> 00:49:43,224
Three girls alone in a townhouse
963
00:49:43,357 --> 00:49:45,626
might need a man to help out, eh?
964
00:49:45,759 --> 00:49:47,195
In your dreams.
965
00:49:47,328 --> 00:49:49,330
Get out of here before I call the cops.
966
00:49:49,463 --> 00:49:51,165
With what?
967
00:49:51,299 --> 00:49:52,866
A cell phone that's
losing charge by the second?
968
00:49:54,735 --> 00:49:58,839
Ooh, looks like somebody
started the party without me.
969
00:49:58,972 --> 00:50:00,574
Mind if I poured myself a glass?
970
00:50:18,126 --> 00:50:19,493
That's right.
971
00:50:19,627 --> 00:50:22,430
George Barrow was here last night
972
00:50:22,563 --> 00:50:25,133
to fix the electrical outlet that you said
973
00:50:25,266 --> 00:50:27,701
- you fixed two weeks ago.
- Unbelievable.
974
00:50:27,835 --> 00:50:29,537
George Barrow was here?
975
00:50:29,670 --> 00:50:31,405
I thought you hated him
and everything he stood for.
976
00:50:31,539 --> 00:50:34,108
You've hooked up with
every girl in the West Village.
977
00:50:34,242 --> 00:50:36,377
You can't possibly
expect for me to sit around
978
00:50:36,510 --> 00:50:39,280
and wait for you to show up
and fix what's wrong down there.
979
00:50:40,681 --> 00:50:42,450
In the garden apartment!
980
00:50:42,583 --> 00:50:45,753
You really expect me
to believe that George Barrow
981
00:50:45,886 --> 00:50:47,555
just happened to drop by
on a Saturday night?
982
00:50:47,688 --> 00:50:49,590
Well, yeah, because
that's exactly what happened.
983
00:50:50,491 --> 00:50:52,293
And now that I'm getting
to know George better,
984
00:50:52,426 --> 00:50:55,796
I can see that he's not just
some money grubbing developer.
985
00:50:56,430 --> 00:50:59,833
He's a real gentleman
who's kind and caring
986
00:50:59,967 --> 00:51:03,404
and shares my passion
for cornices and dormer windows.
987
00:51:04,405 --> 00:51:07,141
He's not just some fly by night handyman
988
00:51:07,275 --> 00:51:09,610
who looks really good
in a pair of skinny jeans.
989
00:51:09,743 --> 00:51:11,044
Whoa!
990
00:51:12,079 --> 00:51:15,115
You're so incredibly naive, Liz Perry.
991
00:51:15,249 --> 00:51:16,917
You have no idea who George Barrow is
992
00:51:17,050 --> 00:51:19,553
- or what he's capable of doing.
- So, enlighten me.
993
00:51:19,687 --> 00:51:20,888
I'd be happy to.
994
00:51:25,293 --> 00:51:28,196
George Barrow may be
a West Village blue blood,
995
00:51:28,329 --> 00:51:30,698
but he's not the only one
who grew up in a townhouse.
996
00:51:31,432 --> 00:51:35,002
Wait a minute.
You grew up in a townhouse?
997
00:51:38,005 --> 00:51:39,973
My father was the Barrow
family's property manager
998
00:51:40,107 --> 00:51:41,175
when I was growing up.
999
00:51:43,043 --> 00:51:45,946
The Barrow's lived
in the owner's triplex up top.
1000
00:51:46,980 --> 00:51:48,649
My dad and I lived in the garden apartment
1001
00:51:48,782 --> 00:51:49,950
underneath the stoop.
1002
00:51:51,985 --> 00:51:53,086
Go on.
1003
00:51:54,422 --> 00:51:57,391
When we were little,
George and I were really close.
1004
00:51:59,293 --> 00:52:00,861
Practically like brothers.
1005
00:52:03,464 --> 00:52:05,699
But after old man Barrow
got killed in a crane collapse
1006
00:52:05,833 --> 00:52:08,202
on his way to see
one of my construction sites,
1007
00:52:08,336 --> 00:52:09,803
George blamed me.
1008
00:52:11,104 --> 00:52:13,207
Then, he asked me to move
out of my dad's apartment
1009
00:52:13,341 --> 00:52:16,009
so his contractor
could do some renovations.
1010
00:52:17,478 --> 00:52:21,882
I floated on couches
for a year before I realized
1011
00:52:22,015 --> 00:52:23,717
he was never going to
let me move back home.
1012
00:52:23,851 --> 00:52:25,953
That's awful. I had no idea.
1013
00:52:26,854 --> 00:52:28,389
Eventually, I found a sublet in the story
1014
00:52:28,522 --> 00:52:29,757
with a couple of guys from work.
1015
00:52:31,525 --> 00:52:35,162
I had no idea that George Barrow
was such a monster.
1016
00:52:37,298 --> 00:52:39,600
- Did you take him to court?
- Yeah.
1017
00:52:39,733 --> 00:52:41,502
I hired a lawyer and everything.
1018
00:52:41,635 --> 00:52:45,373
By then,
George had already
1019
00:52:45,506 --> 00:52:47,975
finished the renovation and turned it
1020
00:52:48,108 --> 00:52:51,345
into a single-family home
worth triple what it was before.
1021
00:52:53,381 --> 00:52:54,482
Yeah.
1022
00:52:55,449 --> 00:52:58,319
He sent me a check for ten grand
1023
00:52:58,452 --> 00:53:01,455
to settle and I signed the release.
1024
00:53:04,525 --> 00:53:07,761
But what could George Barrow
possibly want with me?
1025
00:53:10,831 --> 00:53:12,566
Don't you get it, Lizzie?
1026
00:53:12,700 --> 00:53:14,902
He's buying up every
decent house in the West Village
1027
00:53:15,035 --> 00:53:16,837
to combine them
and sell them to billionaires
1028
00:53:16,970 --> 00:53:18,706
who want 50-footers.
1029
00:53:18,839 --> 00:53:20,541
Most of your neighbors
have already agreed to sell him
1030
00:53:20,674 --> 00:53:22,576
their properties
once he comes up the money.
1031
00:53:22,710 --> 00:53:24,211
Yeah, sure, that's old news.
1032
00:53:24,345 --> 00:53:26,179
I read it in
Townhouse Confidential.
1033
00:53:27,047 --> 00:53:29,450
Okay, I guess you
haven't read the latest post.
1034
00:53:30,951 --> 00:53:32,653
"Last Townhouse Standing.
1035
00:53:33,287 --> 00:53:36,089
"The Townhouse confidential
grapevine is buzzing with news
1036
00:53:36,223 --> 00:53:38,459
"that mega builder,
George Barrow, has the hots
1037
00:53:38,592 --> 00:53:41,094
"for a shy little townhouse
on Washington Place
1038
00:53:41,228 --> 00:53:42,863
"to add to his portfolio.
1039
00:53:43,897 --> 00:53:45,933
"Barrow is just days away from closing
1040
00:53:46,066 --> 00:53:48,469
"on a $100 million fund to purchase dozens
1041
00:53:48,602 --> 00:53:51,905
"of the biggest and best
townhouses in the West Village,
1042
00:53:52,039 --> 00:53:55,242
"but needs the mid-block beauty
to seal the deal.
1043
00:53:55,376 --> 00:53:58,446
"Odds are three to one
that the sisters will say no.
1044
00:53:58,579 --> 00:54:00,781
"Will gentlemen George up his offer?"
1045
00:54:00,914 --> 00:54:02,650
I assume that's why he came by last night,
1046
00:54:02,783 --> 00:54:04,117
to wine and dine you.
1047
00:54:04,251 --> 00:54:06,320
I cannot believe that Mary wrote that.
1048
00:54:06,454 --> 00:54:08,356
After all, she probably thinks that
1049
00:54:08,489 --> 00:54:10,924
we're so desperate for cash,
we'd take it from anybody.
1050
00:54:11,825 --> 00:54:13,093
Even George Barrow.
1051
00:54:14,227 --> 00:54:16,129
Well, I gotta go, Lizzie.
1052
00:54:18,766 --> 00:54:22,770
Make sure not to share your
cupcakes with just anyone, huh?
1053
00:54:56,437 --> 00:54:57,471
George?
1054
00:54:58,472 --> 00:55:00,207
Come here to steal our house,
I assume?
1055
00:55:00,340 --> 00:55:02,443
I think I forgot my screwdriver.
1056
00:55:02,910 --> 00:55:04,578
Wait there. I'll get it.
1057
00:55:07,347 --> 00:55:10,684
- Here, take it.
- Did I do something wrong?
1058
00:55:10,818 --> 00:55:12,520
Maybe not to me,
1059
00:55:12,653 --> 00:55:14,522
but you should have been
a little nicer to Tommy Leroy
1060
00:55:14,655 --> 00:55:16,524
before you stole his apartment
1061
00:55:16,657 --> 00:55:18,258
and kicked him out of the townhouse
1062
00:55:18,392 --> 00:55:19,827
that you both grew up in.
1063
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:21,395
I don't know what you're talking about.
1064
00:55:21,529 --> 00:55:23,330
Oh, really?
1065
00:55:23,464 --> 00:55:26,166
So you just get to be the Prince
Charming of the West Village
1066
00:55:26,299 --> 00:55:28,636
while Tommy can barely afford
his sublet in Queens?
1067
00:55:29,102 --> 00:55:30,404
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
1068
00:55:30,538 --> 00:55:32,139
Is that all he told you?
1069
00:55:32,272 --> 00:55:33,407
He told me that the only reason
1070
00:55:33,541 --> 00:55:35,075
you came over here last night
1071
00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:37,177
was to convince me
to sell you our townhouse.
1072
00:55:38,078 --> 00:55:40,714
So, I guess all that crap about cornices
1073
00:55:40,848 --> 00:55:44,418
and dormer windows was just
a bait you used to reel me in.
1074
00:55:44,552 --> 00:55:46,920
You are no gentleman,
George Barrow,
1075
00:55:47,054 --> 00:55:48,422
and you never will be.
1076
00:55:48,889 --> 00:55:50,290
Now, go.
1077
00:55:50,858 --> 00:55:52,426
Please, Liz.
You don't understand.
1078
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:54,662
Tommy Leroy isn't who you think he is.
1079
00:55:54,795 --> 00:55:56,196
There's another side to the story.
1080
00:55:56,329 --> 00:55:58,231
There always is, isn't there?
1081
00:55:58,365 --> 00:56:00,434
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
1082
00:56:00,568 --> 00:56:03,904
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
1083
00:56:04,037 --> 00:56:08,108
and if I don't get my hands
on $100,000 by next week,
1084
00:56:08,241 --> 00:56:10,110
the bank is gonna take our house.
1085
00:56:12,746 --> 00:56:13,947
Thanks for the screwdriver.
1086
00:56:24,992 --> 00:56:28,696
Fuck, could things possibly get any worse?
1087
00:56:48,248 --> 00:56:52,319
Oh. Hi. Got the whole pie.
1088
00:56:52,452 --> 00:56:53,921
Come on, have a slice.
1089
00:56:54,054 --> 00:56:55,255
A little carbs won't hurt you, right?
1090
00:56:55,388 --> 00:56:57,090
Thanks, but no.
1091
00:56:57,224 --> 00:57:00,227
It would derail my preparation
for the half marathon.
1092
00:57:02,195 --> 00:57:03,263
Fuckin' awesome.
1093
00:57:04,598 --> 00:57:07,467
George. Say we
get down to business, shall we?
1094
00:57:08,769 --> 00:57:12,272
The bottom line is your lenders
are getting pretty impatient.
1095
00:57:12,405 --> 00:57:13,941
They want to know when, you know,
1096
00:57:14,074 --> 00:57:15,142
the deal's gonna close.
1097
00:57:16,276 --> 00:57:17,978
They want their
fucking money now, big guy.
1098
00:57:18,111 --> 00:57:20,313
- Capisce?
- Yeah.
1099
00:57:20,447 --> 00:57:22,149
There's no reason
to talk like that, Big Sal.
1100
00:57:22,850 --> 00:57:24,317
I'm sure Georgie here
1101
00:57:24,451 --> 00:57:26,286
has a perfectly reasonable explanation
1102
00:57:26,419 --> 00:57:28,622
- for the delay, right?
- Yes.
1103
00:57:29,422 --> 00:57:31,091
There's just one more
townhouse that I need
1104
00:57:31,224 --> 00:57:32,826
to put in the contract
1105
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:35,596
before the investors
will release the financing.
1106
00:57:35,729 --> 00:57:38,098
The trouble is that
it's owned by three sisters
1107
00:57:38,231 --> 00:57:39,466
who don't want to sell.
1108
00:57:40,133 --> 00:57:42,235
You see, they grew up there.
1109
00:57:42,803 --> 00:57:44,171
You think a horse's head in the bed
1110
00:57:44,304 --> 00:57:45,739
might help them see the light of reason?
1111
00:57:46,707 --> 00:57:48,642
I don't think
that'd be necessary, Big Sal.
1112
00:57:49,309 --> 00:57:52,913
Let's just let George here
talk to 'em, all right?
1113
00:57:53,046 --> 00:57:56,149
Know that Liz Perry?
She loves flowers.
1114
00:57:56,684 --> 00:57:58,285
Especially expensive kind.
1115
00:57:58,418 --> 00:58:00,788
Otherwise, the next horse's head
1116
00:58:00,921 --> 00:58:03,123
is gonna be in your bed, vapisce?
1117
00:58:04,257 --> 00:58:06,193
Come on, Big Sal, everything's
going to be all right.
1118
00:58:06,326 --> 00:58:07,394
Enjoy the pizza.
1119
00:58:24,177 --> 00:58:25,412
Fucking awesome.
1120
00:58:27,948 --> 00:58:29,149
And the weirdest part is,
1121
00:58:29,282 --> 00:58:30,918
I didn't have sex with any of them.
1122
00:58:31,051 --> 00:58:32,252
I mean, I was a little drunk,
1123
00:58:32,385 --> 00:58:34,154
so it was kind of tempting, but no.
1124
00:58:35,355 --> 00:58:37,090
You go, girl.
1125
00:58:37,224 --> 00:58:39,559
Unfortunately, the guy
I'm crushing on just left town.
1126
00:58:40,460 --> 00:58:42,362
He said some kind of business trip.
1127
00:58:42,495 --> 00:58:44,064
Didn't even say when he's coming back.
1128
00:58:44,197 --> 00:58:46,233
Wait a second.
Are you talking about Jonathan?
1129
00:58:46,366 --> 00:58:48,736
I thought he was straight.
1130
00:58:48,869 --> 00:58:50,738
He wasn't so straight
when I was done with him.
1131
00:58:50,871 --> 00:58:54,141
Okay, you go, girl.
1132
00:58:54,274 --> 00:58:55,909
Ooh, let's check this one out.
1133
00:58:56,043 --> 00:58:57,410
Can we go home already?
1134
00:58:57,544 --> 00:58:58,879
One more spiral staircase
1135
00:58:59,012 --> 00:59:00,580
and I'll be on crutches for weeks.
1136
00:59:00,714 --> 00:59:02,916
Come on, Billie.
This is the last one.
1137
00:59:03,050 --> 00:59:04,451
Girl.
1138
00:59:05,753 --> 00:59:07,755
- Hi.
- Hi. Have you got your ticket?
1139
00:59:07,888 --> 00:59:10,758
Thank you so much.
Please put the booties on.
1140
00:59:10,891 --> 00:59:12,259
Sure thing, thank you.
1141
00:59:14,227 --> 00:59:15,295
Whoa.
1142
00:59:17,097 --> 00:59:18,298
Billie, do you see the chandelier?
1143
00:59:19,733 --> 00:59:21,168
It's gorgeous.
1144
00:59:21,301 --> 00:59:23,637
- It smells like money.
- Yeah.
1145
00:59:27,274 --> 00:59:29,576
- Ooh, girl.
- Other room?
1146
00:59:30,944 --> 00:59:33,714
Does it matter?
1147
00:59:39,419 --> 00:59:41,421
Is this how the other half lives?
1148
00:59:45,926 --> 00:59:48,361
You know, this place
feels really familiar.
1149
00:59:48,495 --> 00:59:50,831
Like I've been here before or something.
1150
00:59:51,665 --> 00:59:53,466
In your dreams, Lizzie.
1151
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:56,536
You have to get past three
deadbolts and an alarm system.
1152
00:59:56,670 --> 00:59:59,339
Plus, they got guns.
1153
01:00:01,474 --> 01:00:03,744
I don't mean now, Billie.
1154
01:00:03,877 --> 01:00:05,312
I meant when I was a little girl.
1155
01:00:06,046 --> 01:00:07,447
I remember my mom dropping me off
1156
01:00:07,580 --> 01:00:09,616
at this big, beautiful townhouse
1157
01:00:09,750 --> 01:00:11,151
for a birthday party when I was five.
1158
01:00:12,219 --> 01:00:14,755
I didn't know any
of the other kids, so I just...
1159
01:00:14,888 --> 01:00:17,357
wandered around the house and I got lost.
1160
01:00:17,490 --> 01:00:19,659
I almost fell down a flight
of stairs into the basement
1161
01:00:19,793 --> 01:00:22,896
when this little boy
grabbed my arm and rescued me.
1162
01:00:24,865 --> 01:00:26,867
- Rescued you, huh?
- Mm-hm.
1163
01:00:31,671 --> 01:00:32,973
- Hey, Lizzie.
- Yeah?
1164
01:00:33,106 --> 01:00:35,876
Look at this photo. It's George.
1165
01:00:36,810 --> 01:00:37,945
And Jonathan.
1166
01:00:40,147 --> 01:00:42,649
Lizzie, that little boy that rescued you...
1167
01:00:43,784 --> 01:00:46,053
- was George Barrow.
- What?
1168
01:00:46,186 --> 01:00:48,555
Oh, my God.
Billie, you're right.
1169
01:00:50,891 --> 01:00:52,592
This is George Barrow's house.
1170
01:00:53,727 --> 01:00:56,096
But hold on a second.
1171
01:00:56,897 --> 01:01:00,200
How could George be so generous
to a group of complete strangers
1172
01:01:00,333 --> 01:01:02,702
and so cruel to someone
who he grew up with,
1173
01:01:02,836 --> 01:01:04,171
practically like his brother?
1174
01:01:05,138 --> 01:01:06,173
I don't know.
1175
01:01:07,540 --> 01:01:10,243
How could Jonathan be
so hot in the Columbia t-shirt?
1176
01:01:15,282 --> 01:01:17,084
Billie, George just texted me.
1177
01:01:17,217 --> 01:01:19,920
He wants to meet up with me right now.
1178
01:01:20,053 --> 01:01:21,889
- For what?
- I don't know.
1179
01:01:22,022 --> 01:01:24,557
Do we have to go back to work
or can we go check this out?
1180
01:01:24,691 --> 01:01:26,259
You sure you don't wanna
trash his house first?
1181
01:01:26,994 --> 01:01:28,295
No, let's go.
1182
01:01:28,428 --> 01:01:30,463
Let's go. Bye, Jonathan.
1183
01:01:44,511 --> 01:01:45,612
There he is.
1184
01:02:03,463 --> 01:02:04,564
What was that?
1185
01:02:08,368 --> 01:02:10,203
Oh, my God, Billie.
1186
01:02:10,337 --> 01:02:13,040
George wrote me an actual letter by hand
1187
01:02:13,773 --> 01:02:15,542
and he sealed the envelope with wax.
1188
01:02:15,675 --> 01:02:18,111
- Just rip it open and read it.
- Okay, okay.
1189
01:02:23,283 --> 01:02:26,786
"Dearest Elizabeth, I know that
you will never sell me your home
1190
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:29,022
"after what you believe
I have done to Tommy Leroy,
1191
01:02:29,156 --> 01:02:31,158
"so I won't attempt to make an offer.
1192
01:02:32,125 --> 01:02:33,827
"All I ask is that you read this letter
1193
01:02:33,961 --> 01:02:35,829
"explaining what really happened
1194
01:02:35,963 --> 01:02:38,165
"and give me a chance
to clear my good name."
1195
01:02:38,298 --> 01:02:39,766
Oh, my God. This can't be real.
1196
01:02:40,767 --> 01:02:42,970
"Then five years ago,
I went away on a trip to Africa
1197
01:02:43,103 --> 01:02:46,173
"with my friend, Jonathan,
to dig wells to fight malaria.
1198
01:02:46,306 --> 01:02:47,841
"When I got back,
I discovered that Tommy
1199
01:02:47,975 --> 01:02:51,444
"had forged my signature
on a building permit
1200
01:02:51,578 --> 01:02:53,346
"and was getting ready to turn the home
1201
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:55,682
"in our family for almost 200 years--"
1202
01:02:55,815 --> 01:02:58,285
"Into multi-million dollar condos
1203
01:02:58,418 --> 01:03:00,287
"and pocket the money for himself.
1204
01:03:01,121 --> 01:03:03,991
"I was shocked and angered
by Tommy's betrayal,
1205
01:03:04,124 --> 01:03:07,460
"but I promised my mother that
I would keep the matter private
1206
01:03:07,594 --> 01:03:10,697
"so as not to tarnish
the reputation of our family
1207
01:03:10,830 --> 01:03:12,933
"and that of
the real estate business we own.
1208
01:03:14,667 --> 01:03:17,004
"I have always loved you,
Elizabeth Perry."
1209
01:03:17,137 --> 01:03:18,771
- Elizabeth Perry.
- "Ever since the day
1210
01:03:18,906 --> 01:03:20,273
"at my birthday party when I saved you
1211
01:03:20,407 --> 01:03:21,641
"from falling down the stairs.
1212
01:03:22,609 --> 01:03:24,511
"You are the damsel in distress
1213
01:03:24,644 --> 01:03:26,213
"that I have always wanted to rescue.
1214
01:03:27,147 --> 01:03:30,250
"But now I feel that the person
who really needs rescuing is me.
1215
01:03:31,451 --> 01:03:33,887
"Without you, I am lost...
1216
01:03:35,055 --> 01:03:36,924
"with no hope of the feelings that I have
1217
01:03:37,057 --> 01:03:39,692
"for you and your townhouse
ever being reciprocated.
1218
01:03:39,826 --> 01:03:41,861
"I remain your faithful servant.
1219
01:03:41,995 --> 01:03:43,830
"G. Fitzwilliam Barrow."
1220
01:03:48,301 --> 01:03:49,970
I think you're about to get laid, girl.
1221
01:03:53,340 --> 01:03:55,842
I am such an idiot.
1222
01:03:55,976 --> 01:03:58,245
All I had to do
was stick out my foot for him
1223
01:03:58,378 --> 01:04:00,513
to put a glass slipper on, and instead,
1224
01:04:00,647 --> 01:04:02,916
I kick him out the door because I believe
1225
01:04:03,050 --> 01:04:05,618
that scam artist, Tommy Leroy.
1226
01:04:05,752 --> 01:04:07,454
I mean, I guess it's not too late to call
1227
01:04:07,587 --> 01:04:10,190
sleazy Sal Carmine
and take him up on his offer.
1228
01:04:10,323 --> 01:04:15,262
Lizzie, that's no way
to talk about my boyfriend.
1229
01:04:15,395 --> 01:04:19,399
Your boyfriend?
What are you talking about?
1230
01:04:19,532 --> 01:04:21,601
Well, remember the night of the blackout
1231
01:04:21,734 --> 01:04:23,536
when you had a Sal over
for wine and cupcakes
1232
01:04:23,670 --> 01:04:25,305
to talk about
the new mortgage on the house?
1233
01:04:25,438 --> 01:04:27,107
Yeah. How could I forget?
1234
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,943
Well, after the power
went out on Lower Manhattan
1235
01:04:30,077 --> 01:04:32,045
and you kicked Sal out the door,
1236
01:04:32,179 --> 01:04:34,881
he went screaming down Washington Place.
1237
01:04:35,015 --> 01:04:36,984
I heard the noise, ran downstairs,
1238
01:04:37,117 --> 01:04:40,587
flung open the door,
and well, let's just say
1239
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:43,356
he was grateful to find
a friendly port in the storm.
1240
01:04:43,490 --> 01:04:45,292
Oh, my God.
1241
01:04:45,425 --> 01:04:48,228
But Sal is married and he's bald
1242
01:04:48,361 --> 01:04:49,762
and he's short and you could just--
1243
01:04:49,896 --> 01:04:51,364
We're not all like you, Lizzie.
1244
01:04:52,165 --> 01:04:54,267
Not everyone is looking for a Mr. Darcy
1245
01:04:54,401 --> 01:04:57,004
with the uncertain
domestic bliss of marriage
1246
01:04:57,137 --> 01:04:59,372
and kids and happily ever after.
1247
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:05,578
For me, a married Mr. Collins
will do just fine.
1248
01:05:07,114 --> 01:05:08,181
Maybe you're right.
1249
01:05:08,948 --> 01:05:11,751
Maybe life isn't about
getting what you want,
1250
01:05:11,884 --> 01:05:14,454
it's about wanting what you get.
1251
01:05:32,105 --> 01:05:33,940
Well, I guess that's it, then.
1252
01:05:34,574 --> 01:05:36,643
Jersey City, here I come.
1253
01:05:39,612 --> 01:05:41,814
I guess I could
get a job at a different bakery,
1254
01:05:41,948 --> 01:05:43,950
even if that bakery isn't Magnolia.
1255
01:05:45,285 --> 01:05:46,753
- Uh-huh.
- And I suppose
1256
01:05:46,886 --> 01:05:48,155
I could find an apartment to rent,
1257
01:05:48,288 --> 01:05:50,657
maybe share it with a roommate.
1258
01:05:50,790 --> 01:05:54,594
Yeah, then you'll understand
how the other 99% lives.
1259
01:05:55,228 --> 01:05:56,929
I'm about to lose my house, Billie.
1260
01:05:57,064 --> 01:05:58,665
I thought you could at least sympathize.
1261
01:05:59,432 --> 01:06:00,567
- Sympathize?
- Yeah.
1262
01:06:01,334 --> 01:06:03,203
Do you know how many apartments
I've been kicked out of
1263
01:06:03,336 --> 01:06:04,671
since I moved to New York?
1264
01:06:04,804 --> 01:06:06,373
You think you got it tough, baby girl?
1265
01:06:06,973 --> 01:06:09,809
Try being Black, gay,
and living in the Bronx.
1266
01:06:10,443 --> 01:06:12,879
I'm so done with you and your
white townhouse privilege.
1267
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:15,682
Do you know how many millions of people
1268
01:06:15,815 --> 01:06:17,850
who would gladly trade places
with you in the heartbeat?
1269
01:06:17,984 --> 01:06:20,620
But I am the victim here.
1270
01:06:21,321 --> 01:06:22,822
- Are you though?
- Yeah.
1271
01:06:22,955 --> 01:06:25,058
Look how many advantages
you take for granted.
1272
01:06:26,426 --> 01:06:28,295
Two parents that adored you,
1273
01:06:28,428 --> 01:06:30,497
college degree that you did not pay for,
1274
01:06:30,630 --> 01:06:33,032
and that $20 bottle of Italian wine
1275
01:06:33,166 --> 01:06:35,068
that you drink so effortlessly.
1276
01:06:35,202 --> 01:06:38,505
I only buy Montefalco Rosso
when it's on sale.
1277
01:06:38,638 --> 01:06:39,706
Mm-hmm.
1278
01:06:41,308 --> 01:06:42,509
But maybe you're right, Billie.
1279
01:06:43,310 --> 01:06:45,245
I guess I never
looked at it that way before.
1280
01:06:45,378 --> 01:06:47,080
Of course you haven't
1281
01:06:47,214 --> 01:06:48,548
because you're too busy
looking in the mirror,
1282
01:06:48,681 --> 01:06:50,183
feeling sorry for yourself.
1283
01:06:50,317 --> 01:06:51,718
Just because you sweep your fireplace
1284
01:06:51,851 --> 01:06:53,320
every once in a while
1285
01:06:53,453 --> 01:06:54,687
does not make you Cinderella, baby girl.
1286
01:06:56,823 --> 01:06:57,890
Where I'm from...
1287
01:06:58,825 --> 01:07:01,194
I'd be lucky to be able to walk
down the street in my dress
1288
01:07:01,328 --> 01:07:03,263
and my wig and not get
rocks thrown at my head.
1289
01:07:11,070 --> 01:07:14,107
So, maybe I am no better
than George Barrow
1290
01:07:14,241 --> 01:07:15,942
or Kathryn Waverly or the other
1291
01:07:16,075 --> 01:07:18,077
millionaire hedge funders
who live in the West Village.
1292
01:07:19,011 --> 01:07:21,548
Maybe I do deserve
to be exiled to a beach bar
1293
01:07:21,681 --> 01:07:23,916
in New Jersey where no one
has ever heard of a cornice
1294
01:07:24,050 --> 01:07:26,253
or a lintel or a dormer window.
1295
01:07:26,386 --> 01:07:29,689
Hey, now, don't be going all
Jersey Shore on me, baby girl.
1296
01:07:30,490 --> 01:07:33,160
I'm just saying, if you want
to save your townhome
1297
01:07:33,293 --> 01:07:34,927
5or at least get some serious cash for it,
1298
01:07:35,061 --> 01:07:37,264
you got to get out there
and you got to fight for it.
1299
01:07:37,397 --> 01:07:38,898
Don't be sitting around
1300
01:07:39,031 --> 01:07:40,333
waiting on Prince Charming to pay the tab.
1301
01:07:40,467 --> 01:07:42,735
- You mean--
- Yes, Lizzie.
1302
01:07:43,603 --> 01:07:45,605
There's something you love
more than vanilla cupcakes
1303
01:07:45,738 --> 01:07:47,407
with purple frosting and sprinkles on top.
1304
01:07:48,441 --> 01:07:50,143
Something you love more than a hot guy
1305
01:07:50,277 --> 01:07:51,911
with a tight ass and skinny jeans.
1306
01:07:52,044 --> 01:07:54,314
Oh, I don't know if that's possible.
1307
01:07:56,783 --> 01:07:59,452
Oh, my God,
Billie, you're right.
1308
01:07:59,586 --> 01:08:00,853
It's my townhouse.
1309
01:08:01,554 --> 01:08:04,624
That 18-foot wide, broken down
fixer-upper of a townhouse
1310
01:08:04,757 --> 01:08:06,693
that I grew up in on Washington Place.
1311
01:08:07,394 --> 01:08:09,162
The place where literally nothing works
1312
01:08:09,296 --> 01:08:10,930
and everything's held together
with scotch tape
1313
01:08:11,063 --> 01:08:12,332
and rubber bands.
1314
01:08:12,465 --> 01:08:13,833
The place that's always just
1315
01:08:13,966 --> 01:08:15,868
on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
1316
01:08:16,703 --> 01:08:19,172
That scorching hot mess pile of bricks...
1317
01:08:20,573 --> 01:08:21,641
is me.
1318
01:08:27,780 --> 01:08:29,616
- Detective Ortiz.
- Detective Ortiz.
1319
01:08:29,749 --> 01:08:31,818
Can I offer you a cupcake?
It's on the house.
1320
01:08:31,951 --> 01:08:33,820
And those cupcakes do look tasty,
1321
01:08:33,953 --> 01:08:36,856
but this time I think I'll pass.
1322
01:08:36,989 --> 01:08:38,891
I came in to check your security tape.
1323
01:08:39,025 --> 01:08:40,560
Uh, it looks like the Gucci Bandit
1324
01:08:40,693 --> 01:08:42,329
is back out on the loose.
1325
01:08:42,462 --> 01:08:44,130
The Gucci Bandit?
1326
01:08:44,264 --> 01:08:45,865
Yeah, he's a burglar
who breaks into people's homes
1327
01:08:45,998 --> 01:08:48,535
wearing Gucci sandals,
steals their credit cards,
1328
01:08:48,668 --> 01:08:50,470
and goes on a shopping spree.
1329
01:08:51,003 --> 01:08:53,406
Okay, but what does that
have to do with us?
1330
01:08:53,540 --> 01:08:55,408
Well, it looks like he's taking a show
1331
01:08:55,542 --> 01:08:57,009
on the road to Bleaker Street.
1332
01:08:57,143 --> 01:08:58,811
According to the credit card company,
1333
01:08:58,945 --> 01:09:01,348
he was in here sometime
yesterday before 3:00 P.M.
1334
01:09:01,481 --> 01:09:03,416
We were off yesterday, but sure, why not?
1335
01:09:03,550 --> 01:09:05,485
If he was in here,
he'd be on tape somewhere.
1336
01:09:07,019 --> 01:09:08,321
Sure you don't want a cupcake?
1337
01:09:08,455 --> 01:09:10,022
You are a temptress, Liz Perry.
1338
01:09:10,156 --> 01:09:11,724
Liz, can you help me here?
1339
01:09:11,858 --> 01:09:13,560
I don't think I was here
for this training session.
1340
01:09:13,693 --> 01:09:15,161
Yeah, sure, um,
1341
01:09:15,295 --> 01:09:17,063
It should just be--
1342
01:09:24,371 --> 01:09:28,040
Busted on Bleaker. We got him.
1343
01:09:28,174 --> 01:09:29,309
Good work, Liz.
1344
01:09:29,442 --> 01:09:31,244
Just email me the clip.
1345
01:09:31,378 --> 01:09:32,845
Wait, there's somebody else on tape
1346
01:09:32,979 --> 01:09:34,314
walking to the store.
1347
01:09:34,447 --> 01:09:35,848
Oh my God.
1348
01:09:35,982 --> 01:09:37,417
I'd recognize that butt anywhere.
1349
01:09:37,917 --> 01:09:39,419
It's Tommy Leroy.
1350
01:09:39,986 --> 01:09:42,422
He's writing a check for some cupcakes
1351
01:09:42,555 --> 01:09:45,091
using the checkbook
for our home equity credit line.
1352
01:09:45,224 --> 01:09:46,693
Detective Ortiz,
1353
01:09:46,826 --> 01:09:48,461
I'd like to make a citizen's arrest.
1354
01:09:48,595 --> 01:09:51,130
Come down to the station
and file a report, okay?
1355
01:09:51,264 --> 01:09:52,865
Never trust a man a skinny jeans.
1356
01:09:52,999 --> 01:09:54,701
Yeah.
1357
01:09:54,834 --> 01:09:57,036
We caught Tommy Leroy on
video camera with our checkbook,
1358
01:09:57,169 --> 01:09:59,439
but that doesn't bring back the $100,000.
1359
01:09:59,572 --> 01:10:02,609
And we need to pay back
the entire loan by Monday.
1360
01:10:04,043 --> 01:10:05,978
Our only choice is to sell the house
1361
01:10:06,112 --> 01:10:07,747
to the first person who walks in that door
1362
01:10:07,880 --> 01:10:09,516
with the biggest bag full of cash.
1363
01:10:09,649 --> 01:10:11,284
Which means that we need to start painting
1364
01:10:11,418 --> 01:10:13,620
and cleaning ASAP to get it
ready for the open house.
1365
01:10:13,753 --> 01:10:16,055
If we all pick up a brush
in the mop right now,
1366
01:10:16,188 --> 01:10:18,024
we should be done by Saturday.
1367
01:10:18,591 --> 01:10:20,960
And once I take the pictures,
make the video,
1368
01:10:21,093 --> 01:10:22,862
and post the ad on Street Easy,
1369
01:10:22,995 --> 01:10:24,931
we'll be ready for the open
house on Sunday afternoon.
1370
01:10:25,064 --> 01:10:27,700
And that's where I come in,
to find the mystery buyer
1371
01:10:27,834 --> 01:10:30,370
with a big bank roll in his briefcase.
1372
01:10:30,503 --> 01:10:32,138
We know you'll find a someone, Sophie.
1373
01:10:32,271 --> 01:10:34,106
I texted Charlotte.
1374
01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:36,075
She should be here any minute
with the cleaning supplies.
1375
01:10:40,613 --> 01:10:42,815
Let's clean my little dust bunnies.
1376
01:10:42,949 --> 01:10:44,317
Let's.
1377
01:10:49,922 --> 01:10:54,427
♪ Yeah, it's come to this,
world's falling all around us ♪
1378
01:10:54,561 --> 01:10:57,597
♪ Will we make it out alive? ♪
1379
01:10:59,098 --> 01:11:01,100
♪ Now that we've come this far ♪
1380
01:11:01,233 --> 01:11:03,670
♪ Come on, sisters, get together ♪
1381
01:11:03,803 --> 01:11:07,173
♪ And bring the city to its knees ♪
1382
01:11:07,306 --> 01:11:09,208
♪ We gotta get up ♪
1383
01:11:09,342 --> 01:11:12,111
♪ Working harder than
we've ever worked before ♪
1384
01:11:12,244 --> 01:11:14,080
♪ Gotta speak up ♪
1385
01:11:14,213 --> 01:11:16,416
♪ Be a fighter when something's
worth fighting for ♪
1386
01:11:16,549 --> 01:11:18,518
♪ Never give up ♪
1387
01:11:18,651 --> 01:11:21,954
♪ Keep on trying,
give it everything we've got ♪
1388
01:11:22,088 --> 01:11:26,092
♪ Better believe we'll
find out what we're made of ♪
1389
01:11:26,225 --> 01:11:28,795
♪ Keep your head up, just keep smiling ♪
1390
01:11:41,774 --> 01:11:45,044
So, you'll never guess
who I ran into today.
1391
01:11:46,145 --> 01:11:47,647
Well, I guess
you're going to tell me, mother,
1392
01:11:47,780 --> 01:11:49,181
and I have no choice but to listen.
1393
01:11:49,315 --> 01:11:51,183
Elizabeth Perry.
1394
01:11:51,317 --> 01:11:53,686
The girl who lives in that
trashy, little townhouse
1395
01:11:53,820 --> 01:11:55,988
over on Washington Place
with her two sisters.
1396
01:11:56,122 --> 01:11:59,826
Oh, and what did she have to say, mother?
1397
01:11:59,959 --> 01:12:02,562
Well, she told me she's
putting her house on the market
1398
01:12:02,695 --> 01:12:05,565
and that she and her two sisters
are hosting an open house
1399
01:12:05,698 --> 01:12:08,501
tomorrow afternoon and that
they're prepared to sell
1400
01:12:08,635 --> 01:12:12,371
to the highest bidder,
even if that bidder is you.
1401
01:12:13,205 --> 01:12:15,007
- Really?
- So it's true
1402
01:12:15,141 --> 01:12:16,509
that you've offered to buy their house?
1403
01:12:16,643 --> 01:12:19,145
Or is that just inter-webs gossip?
1404
01:12:19,278 --> 01:12:21,881
Well, I very much doubt that she'd be
1405
01:12:22,014 --> 01:12:23,716
willing to sell to me, mother.
1406
01:12:23,850 --> 01:12:25,317
She thinks I'm an asshole
1407
01:12:25,452 --> 01:12:27,253
who wouldn't help his own grandmother
1408
01:12:27,386 --> 01:12:28,988
cross Bleaker Street.
1409
01:12:29,121 --> 01:12:31,591
Of course she would, sweetheart.
1410
01:12:31,724 --> 01:12:35,094
You're still the Prince Charming
of West Village real estate.
1411
01:12:35,227 --> 01:12:38,531
Any girl would pay gold just
to meet you for a cup of coffee
1412
01:12:38,665 --> 01:12:42,234
or Tesla stock, Bitcoin,
or whatever's hot these days.
1413
01:12:42,368 --> 01:12:45,271
Oh, mother, I am tired
of living here with you
1414
01:12:45,404 --> 01:12:48,207
in the shadow of my great
great grandfather's portrait.
1415
01:12:50,009 --> 01:12:52,211
All I want is to be like-- like--
1416
01:12:52,344 --> 01:12:54,614
like everybody else
1417
01:12:54,747 --> 01:12:56,816
who comes to the West Village to have fun.
1418
01:13:15,234 --> 01:13:17,937
- Fucking awesome.
- George Barrow!
1419
01:13:18,070 --> 01:13:21,107
We do not use language
like that in this household.
1420
01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:24,210
And we most certainly do not eat pizza.
1421
01:13:24,343 --> 01:13:28,481
Why don't we? John's Pizzeria is
two blocks away from our house.
1422
01:13:28,615 --> 01:13:30,249
They have the best pizza
in the West Village.
1423
01:13:30,382 --> 01:13:32,785
You always told me
that we couldn't go there
1424
01:13:32,919 --> 01:13:34,787
because they have rats in their basement.
1425
01:13:35,555 --> 01:13:37,590
I honestly don't care if they
have rats in their basement.
1426
01:13:37,724 --> 01:13:39,391
Their pizza is awesome.
1427
01:13:39,526 --> 01:13:43,162
But, George, you'll get fat!
1428
01:13:43,295 --> 01:13:45,598
Cool. Then maybe all these girls
1429
01:13:45,732 --> 01:13:48,968
who think I'm Mr. Darcy
will stop chasing me.
1430
01:13:50,603 --> 01:13:55,041
Tomorrow, I think I'm gonna go
try one of the slices at Joe's.
1431
01:13:57,443 --> 01:13:59,879
Oh, it's a mighty fine slice, mother.
1432
01:14:00,713 --> 01:14:03,115
Mighty fine slice, mother.
1433
01:14:18,931 --> 01:14:20,166
Hi.
1434
01:14:21,467 --> 01:14:22,602
Hi.
1435
01:14:22,735 --> 01:14:24,771
- Hi.
- Hello.
1436
01:14:35,314 --> 01:14:36,448
Wow.
1437
01:14:40,920 --> 01:14:42,154
It's gorgeous.
1438
01:14:42,288 --> 01:14:43,522
Nah, it's too bright.
1439
01:14:44,490 --> 01:14:45,625
Okay.
1440
01:14:46,793 --> 01:14:48,828
- Thank you.
- Thank you for coming.
1441
01:14:55,635 --> 01:14:58,270
Well, at least we tried.
1442
01:14:58,404 --> 01:15:00,172
I'm sure we can find
a decent place to rent
1443
01:15:00,306 --> 01:15:02,241
in New Jersey when they take the house.
1444
01:15:02,374 --> 01:15:04,777
Or Florida. I heard
it's pretty cheap down there.
1445
01:15:05,411 --> 01:15:07,947
- Where's Sophie anyway?
- Does it matter?
1446
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:09,582
It's not like she's getting a commission.
1447
01:15:14,020 --> 01:15:17,223
Girls, I just took a full price offer.
1448
01:15:17,356 --> 01:15:19,358
All cash!
1449
01:15:19,491 --> 01:15:22,061
And I spoke with the bank
and they have agreed
1450
01:15:22,194 --> 01:15:24,163
to put the foreclosure on hold.
1451
01:15:25,898 --> 01:15:28,334
We did it, we did it, we did it!
1452
01:15:30,002 --> 01:15:32,071
Hold on. What's the catch?
There has to be one.
1453
01:15:32,204 --> 01:15:35,675
Well, the buyer wants
to meet with Liz right here,
1454
01:15:35,808 --> 01:15:39,278
right now, alone,
with no one else in the room.
1455
01:15:40,146 --> 01:15:42,782
Good luck.
1456
01:15:48,888 --> 01:15:51,323
- May I come in?
- Of course.
1457
01:15:56,528 --> 01:15:57,596
Thanks, Sophie.
1458
01:16:03,903 --> 01:16:05,672
Please let me explain,
Elizabeth.
1459
01:16:05,805 --> 01:16:07,774
And this time,
I beg you not kick me out
1460
01:16:07,907 --> 01:16:09,642
until you've heard the entire story.
1461
01:16:12,311 --> 01:16:13,813
The only reason
I've offered to buy your home
1462
01:16:13,946 --> 01:16:15,682
is to save it from foreclosure,
1463
01:16:15,815 --> 01:16:18,317
so that you and your sisters
can continue to live here.
1464
01:16:18,450 --> 01:16:21,087
I will not combine it
with any other property
1465
01:16:21,220 --> 01:16:22,922
or make it part
of the development that you have
1466
01:16:23,055 --> 01:16:25,324
so rightly called
a hedge funder Disneyland.
1467
01:16:26,893 --> 01:16:29,595
I promise that after the deal closes,
1468
01:16:29,729 --> 01:16:32,732
I will walk away and never again
darken your door.
1469
01:16:32,865 --> 01:16:34,667
- But--
- Please don't refuse my offer.
1470
01:16:34,801 --> 01:16:36,736
It's honestly the least I can do.
1471
01:16:36,869 --> 01:16:39,405
If I had reported
Tommy Leroy to the police
1472
01:16:39,538 --> 01:16:41,774
after he tried to steal my family's home,
1473
01:16:41,908 --> 01:16:44,143
he would not have been free to walk in,
1474
01:16:44,276 --> 01:16:46,412
steal your home equity
credit line checkbook,
1475
01:16:46,545 --> 01:16:48,815
and draw down the $100,000 dollars
1476
01:16:48,948 --> 01:16:51,417
that nearly cost
you and your family your home.
1477
01:16:51,550 --> 01:16:53,686
Or to bounce a check
in the Magnolia Bakery
1478
01:16:53,820 --> 01:16:56,388
to buy a dozen cupcakes
for his ex-girlfriend
1479
01:16:56,522 --> 01:16:57,857
in the apartment upstairs.
1480
01:16:57,990 --> 01:17:01,560
But I guess you already knew that
1481
01:17:01,694 --> 01:17:03,629
since you're the one
who busted him on tape.
1482
01:17:05,031 --> 01:17:06,966
Detective Ortiz told me the whole story.
1483
01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:10,336
You're my hero, Liz Perry.
1484
01:17:11,370 --> 01:17:13,672
Well, let's just say
I'm a woman of many talents.
1485
01:17:15,441 --> 01:17:17,844
So, do you still think
1486
01:17:17,977 --> 01:17:19,746
I'm the biggest asshole
in the West Village?
1487
01:17:21,180 --> 01:17:24,650
No, George.
I think you're amazing.
1488
01:17:25,417 --> 01:17:27,887
And so was your big, beautiful townhouse
1489
01:17:28,020 --> 01:17:29,521
at 59 Morton Street.
1490
01:17:29,655 --> 01:17:31,390
The place where you saved me
1491
01:17:31,523 --> 01:17:33,225
from falling down the stairs
at your birthday party
1492
01:17:33,359 --> 01:17:34,861
when I was five.
1493
01:17:34,994 --> 01:17:36,562
I'm amazed that you remember.
1494
01:17:36,695 --> 01:17:38,831
You were so little.
1495
01:17:38,965 --> 01:17:40,666
But I'm two years older
and I never forgot.
1496
01:17:42,501 --> 01:17:44,503
I've always had a crush on you, Liz Perry.
1497
01:17:45,637 --> 01:17:47,840
It was just easier for me
to act like a jerk
1498
01:17:47,974 --> 01:17:50,176
than to admit it and maybe find out
1499
01:17:50,309 --> 01:17:51,844
that you didn't love me
1500
01:17:51,978 --> 01:17:54,814
as much as I've always loved you.
1501
01:18:01,888 --> 01:18:03,189
Hold on, Liz Perry.
1502
01:18:03,322 --> 01:18:05,958
Before we get too carried away,
1503
01:18:06,525 --> 01:18:07,794
there's something
I have to show you
1504
01:18:07,927 --> 01:18:09,361
about your charming, little townhouse
1505
01:18:09,495 --> 01:18:11,697
that you may not have noticed.
1506
01:18:21,774 --> 01:18:23,776
- Here, just in case.
- Ah. Perfect.
1507
01:18:25,211 --> 01:18:26,278
Follow me.
1508
01:18:27,513 --> 01:18:29,748
Uh, George,
1509
01:18:29,882 --> 01:18:31,350
what are we doing in my basement?
1510
01:18:32,051 --> 01:18:33,419
Trust me.
1511
01:18:37,824 --> 01:18:39,391
It must be around here somewhere.
1512
01:18:40,893 --> 01:18:41,961
What?
1513
01:18:44,030 --> 01:18:45,097
A-ha.
1514
01:18:47,099 --> 01:18:49,701
Lizzie, could you hold this?
1515
01:18:49,836 --> 01:18:51,270
Sure.
1516
01:19:01,780 --> 01:19:03,615
Uh, hey, George, quick question.
1517
01:19:03,749 --> 01:19:07,119
Why do you have a key
to a lock in my basement?
1518
01:19:07,253 --> 01:19:08,654
Wait and see.
1519
01:19:22,501 --> 01:19:24,003
Uh, George?
1520
01:19:24,136 --> 01:19:26,005
When are you going to
tell me what's going on?
1521
01:19:26,138 --> 01:19:28,440
Sometimes, Liz, there are connections
1522
01:19:28,574 --> 01:19:31,911
you didn't know existed
that were there all along.
1523
01:19:33,112 --> 01:19:34,613
What does that mean?
1524
01:19:43,489 --> 01:19:46,092
Oh, my God, George.
We're in your parlor.
1525
01:19:55,067 --> 01:19:56,768
There's the portrait of Captain Barrow.
1526
01:19:57,336 --> 01:19:59,105
Ah, and the guns.
1527
01:20:01,473 --> 01:20:04,310
But hold on a second.
How did we get here?
1528
01:20:04,443 --> 01:20:05,477
Allow me to explain.
1529
01:20:06,178 --> 01:20:08,347
The same day that you came to see my house
1530
01:20:08,480 --> 01:20:10,049
for the Spring House benefit tour,
1531
01:20:10,182 --> 01:20:11,583
I went to the library to check out
1532
01:20:11,717 --> 01:20:13,519
the old fire insurance maps.
1533
01:20:13,652 --> 01:20:17,556
It turns out our two houses
are connected underground.
1534
01:20:17,689 --> 01:20:18,690
- What?
- They've been that way
1535
01:20:18,824 --> 01:20:19,825
for over a century.
1536
01:20:19,959 --> 01:20:21,727
So wait. You mean--
1537
01:20:21,860 --> 01:20:23,595
Yes, that my mother can no longer
1538
01:20:23,729 --> 01:20:27,266
object to us uniting our
two houses and tying the knot.
1539
01:20:31,303 --> 01:20:32,804
But, wait, doesn't your mother hate me
1540
01:20:32,939 --> 01:20:34,740
and my 18-foot wide townhouse?
1541
01:20:34,873 --> 01:20:36,575
When I showed her on the map
that Captain Barrow
1542
01:20:36,708 --> 01:20:38,477
had built a tunnel,
so that he could hook up
1543
01:20:38,610 --> 01:20:40,980
with his third cousin
and true love, Betsy Washington,
1544
01:20:41,113 --> 01:20:42,414
she caved immediately.
1545
01:20:42,548 --> 01:20:44,350
But isn't your mother
1546
01:20:44,483 --> 01:20:47,519
all business, super broker
Kathryn Waverly and all that?
1547
01:20:47,653 --> 01:20:50,389
Oh, no, Kathryn Waverly
is a hopeless romantic
1548
01:20:50,522 --> 01:20:53,359
just like you, Lizzie.
A huge Pride and Prejudice fan.
1549
01:20:53,492 --> 01:20:54,994
That's why she named me Fitzwilliam.
1550
01:20:56,195 --> 01:20:58,364
But-- but you can...
1551
01:21:00,199 --> 01:21:01,433
just call me George.
1552
01:21:04,003 --> 01:21:06,472
This is no time for big
romantic speeches, George.
1553
01:21:06,605 --> 01:21:08,640
We've got to get out of here now.
1554
01:21:08,774 --> 01:21:10,376
What are you talking about, mother?
1555
01:21:10,509 --> 01:21:12,611
I'm in the middle
of proposing to Liz Perry.
1556
01:21:12,744 --> 01:21:14,413
Aren't you glad that I'm
actually interested in girls?
1557
01:21:14,546 --> 01:21:16,615
Oh, don't worry about that, George.
1558
01:21:16,748 --> 01:21:18,284
I already knew that you and Elizabeth
1559
01:21:18,417 --> 01:21:19,952
would end up together.
1560
01:21:20,086 --> 01:21:21,420
Don't forget,
I've read the book five times
1561
01:21:21,553 --> 01:21:23,489
and seen the entire BBC series.
1562
01:21:23,622 --> 01:21:25,091
- Here.
- That's bullshit.
1563
01:21:25,224 --> 01:21:26,758
I'm gonna fuck 'em up real bad.
1564
01:21:26,892 --> 01:21:28,627
- They're here.
- Who's here, mother?
1565
01:21:28,760 --> 01:21:31,063
No time to explain.
Just follow me.
1566
01:21:31,197 --> 01:21:32,264
Okay.
1567
01:21:39,838 --> 01:21:41,873
George! George!
1568
01:21:42,008 --> 01:21:43,942
Where are you?
I know you're here.
1569
01:21:44,076 --> 01:21:46,312
Where the fuck is he?
1570
01:21:47,046 --> 01:21:48,547
Tommy, you said you were gonna bring us
1571
01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:49,748
right to him, what happened?
1572
01:21:52,284 --> 01:21:53,885
The big boss is gonna be mad.
1573
01:21:54,020 --> 01:21:55,487
I grew up in this house.
1574
01:21:55,621 --> 01:21:57,423
I know what they went.
Follow me.
1575
01:22:15,507 --> 01:22:17,409
George, what is this place?
1576
01:22:17,976 --> 01:22:20,546
This is where my family
hid enslaved Africans
1577
01:22:20,679 --> 01:22:23,015
before the Civil War
to help them escape to freedom.
1578
01:22:23,515 --> 01:22:26,118
No way. I thought you guys
were white supremacists.
1579
01:22:26,252 --> 01:22:28,354
This is no time
for a history lesson, George.
1580
01:22:28,487 --> 01:22:31,290
Tommy's probably leading them
us right to us as we speak.
1581
01:22:31,423 --> 01:22:33,325
We need to secure the hatch.
Elizabeth, you.
1582
01:22:33,459 --> 01:22:34,526
Okay?
1583
01:22:36,395 --> 01:22:37,996
Ah!
1584
01:22:40,566 --> 01:22:42,534
Oh, hey, Georgie boy.
1585
01:22:42,668 --> 01:22:45,304
I got a couple of guys here
who want to talk to you.
1586
01:22:47,239 --> 01:22:49,007
Where's my fucking money, Georgie?
1587
01:22:49,141 --> 01:22:50,209
Who is that?
1588
01:22:51,743 --> 01:22:53,045
Sal Carmine?
1589
01:22:53,179 --> 01:22:54,946
What the hell are you doing here?
1590
01:22:55,081 --> 01:22:56,848
I'm not here for you, Lizzie.
Sorry.
1591
01:22:56,982 --> 01:22:59,718
I'm here for Georgie.
Time's up, buddy.
1592
01:22:59,851 --> 01:23:01,853
Just give him the money, George.
1593
01:23:01,987 --> 01:23:04,356
They're not gonna hurt you or Mom.
1594
01:23:04,490 --> 01:23:05,557
Hold this.
1595
01:23:07,393 --> 01:23:08,494
George, what are you doing?
1596
01:23:11,363 --> 01:23:13,432
Elizabeth Washington Perry.
1597
01:23:13,565 --> 01:23:16,202
Would you do me the honor
of accepting this ring?
1598
01:23:16,335 --> 01:23:18,137
Oh, George, of course I will.
1599
01:23:19,171 --> 01:23:22,208
Georgie, if I don't get my fucking money,
1600
01:23:22,341 --> 01:23:24,676
one of you people up here's
gonna end up on the sidewalk
1601
01:23:24,810 --> 01:23:26,178
- like a fucking pancake.
- Hey.
1602
01:23:26,312 --> 01:23:28,414
Put that gun down
or I'mma break your face.
1603
01:23:28,547 --> 01:23:30,916
Do you have any idea how
hard it is for a woman over 30
1604
01:23:31,049 --> 01:23:33,419
to find a single straight man
south of 14th street?
1605
01:23:39,024 --> 01:23:41,493
Yes, George Fitzwilliam Barrow,
1606
01:23:41,627 --> 01:23:44,996
you sweet, shy,
townhouse loving mama's boy.
1607
01:23:45,664 --> 01:23:47,166
Of course, I will marry you.
1608
01:23:47,999 --> 01:23:51,069
I've loved you since I was five
and you were seven.
1609
01:23:52,538 --> 01:23:54,606
I was just too blind to see it.
1610
01:24:04,516 --> 01:24:06,552
Hey, Barrow gang.
1611
01:24:06,685 --> 01:24:09,721
- Get down off that roof now.
- Oh.
1612
01:24:09,855 --> 01:24:12,658
Detective Ortiz, it's me, Liz Perry.
1613
01:24:12,791 --> 01:24:14,626
I'm up here with Tommy Leroy, Sal Carmine,
1614
01:24:14,760 --> 01:24:16,495
and some other guy from the mafia.
1615
01:24:16,628 --> 01:24:19,598
I'm also up here with my fiancé,
George Barrow,
1616
01:24:19,731 --> 01:24:21,099
and his mom, Kathryn Waverly.
1617
01:24:21,233 --> 01:24:23,735
Wow. Liz. Congrats.
1618
01:24:23,869 --> 01:24:26,272
I didn't realize you was dating George.
1619
01:24:26,405 --> 01:24:28,740
Oh, me neither, this just
happened like an hour ago.
1620
01:24:28,874 --> 01:24:30,909
Did you say
Tommy Leroy's up there?
1621
01:24:31,042 --> 01:24:32,844
I got a warrant for his arrest.
1622
01:24:32,978 --> 01:24:34,613
A warrant for what?
1623
01:24:34,746 --> 01:24:36,348
Grand larceny in the fourth degree:
1624
01:24:36,482 --> 01:24:38,184
theft of merchandise.
1625
01:24:38,317 --> 01:24:39,818
Grand larceny?
1626
01:24:39,951 --> 01:24:41,287
For bouncing the check on a dozen cupcakes
1627
01:24:41,420 --> 01:24:43,054
for my girlfriend?
1628
01:24:43,189 --> 01:24:44,790
You bought a total of 240 cupcakes
1629
01:24:44,923 --> 01:24:48,427
at the Magnolia Bakery at $3.95 a pop.
1630
01:24:48,560 --> 01:24:51,129
So, I got cupcakes
for all my ex-girlfriends.
1631
01:24:51,263 --> 01:24:52,764
Is that a crime?
1632
01:24:52,898 --> 01:24:56,101
You can't arrest
Tommy Leroy for grand larceny.
1633
01:24:56,235 --> 01:24:58,170
That's $948.
1634
01:24:58,304 --> 01:25:01,507
The statutory limit in
the state of New York is 1000.
1635
01:25:01,640 --> 01:25:04,009
Pendejo, you forgot to include the tax.
1636
01:25:04,142 --> 01:25:07,145
Come on down, Tommy. It's over.
1637
01:25:08,113 --> 01:25:09,181
Howdy, boys.
1638
01:25:10,048 --> 01:25:11,450
You know the drill.
Stand over there.
1639
01:25:11,583 --> 01:25:15,521
Tommy Leroy,
1640
01:25:15,654 --> 01:25:18,190
you are under arrest, my friend.
1641
01:25:18,324 --> 01:25:20,892
For what?
Having a couple of fat ham hogs?
1642
01:25:21,026 --> 01:25:23,462
Or soaking half the skirts
in the West Village, huh?
1643
01:25:26,532 --> 01:25:28,467
FBI. You're under arrest.
Come on.
1644
01:25:28,600 --> 01:25:30,302
I thought we were brothers
from another mother.
1645
01:25:30,436 --> 01:25:31,670
Come on. You're under arrest.
1646
01:25:31,803 --> 01:25:33,071
Is this what you do to family?
1647
01:25:33,205 --> 01:25:34,506
You ain't family.
1648
01:25:34,640 --> 01:25:36,408
Where's my money, Big Sal?
1649
01:25:36,542 --> 01:25:38,844
Sophia. Big boss.
1650
01:25:40,379 --> 01:25:42,214
Never send a man to do a woman's job.
1651
01:25:42,348 --> 01:25:43,949
That's what I always say.
1652
01:25:44,082 --> 01:25:45,884
But now that George
has given me the briefcase
1653
01:25:46,017 --> 01:25:48,720
full of cash, I'm willing to
consider your debt paid in full.
1654
01:25:49,355 --> 01:25:51,690
So the 500K stays with me.
1655
01:25:51,823 --> 01:25:54,159
All's well that ends well
and all that crap.
1656
01:25:54,293 --> 01:25:55,461
This time.
1657
01:25:56,262 --> 01:25:58,864
But tell your boys to stay
on the Jersey side of the river
1658
01:25:58,997 --> 01:26:01,400
and don't dare cross to my side.
1659
01:26:02,534 --> 01:26:04,970
Oh, and give your mother my regards.
1660
01:26:05,103 --> 01:26:07,706
You know, it wouldn't kill her
to call me once in a while.
1661
01:26:09,508 --> 01:26:11,142
Come on, let's get you home.
1662
01:26:11,277 --> 01:26:12,744
- Get him out of here.
- Fucking scumbag.
1663
01:26:12,878 --> 01:26:14,413
Sal! Sal!
1664
01:26:14,546 --> 01:26:17,916
Oh, Sal!
I heard the commotion.
1665
01:26:18,049 --> 01:26:21,553
And I can't believe
I'm dating an FBI agent.
1666
01:26:21,687 --> 01:26:23,955
Oh, not just some
1667
01:26:24,089 --> 01:26:26,958
sleazy mortgage broker.
1668
01:26:27,092 --> 01:26:28,894
You'll still make me pasta though, right?
1669
01:26:29,027 --> 01:26:31,430
- Whatever you want, baby.
- Oh, yes.
1670
01:26:31,563 --> 01:26:33,799
Come on.
1671
01:26:33,932 --> 01:26:35,367
Ooh, let's go home.
1672
01:26:38,937 --> 01:26:41,473
It's just almost too much to bear.
1673
01:26:42,073 --> 01:26:44,310
I can only hope
that one day you find someone
1674
01:26:44,443 --> 01:26:48,547
who brings you as much happiness
as George Barrow brings me.
1675
01:26:50,181 --> 01:26:51,249
I don't know, honey.
1676
01:26:52,618 --> 01:26:55,086
I made the mistake of
falling in love with the one guy
1677
01:26:55,220 --> 01:26:56,922
who could never
love me back or bring me home
1678
01:26:57,055 --> 01:26:58,223
to meet his parents.
1679
01:27:00,692 --> 01:27:02,928
- Jonathan?
- Hello.
1680
01:27:03,595 --> 01:27:05,096
Hi. What are you doing here?
1681
01:27:05,230 --> 01:27:07,198
I thought you moved back to San Francisco.
1682
01:27:07,333 --> 01:27:10,402
I jumped on a plane the minute
that I got George's letter.
1683
01:27:10,536 --> 01:27:12,237
I mean, can you believe it?
1684
01:27:12,371 --> 01:27:14,139
The guy sat down
and wrote a letter by hand
1685
01:27:14,272 --> 01:27:16,207
using a pen and then mailed it to me
1686
01:27:16,342 --> 01:27:18,009
in an envelope with a stamp.
1687
01:27:18,143 --> 01:27:20,479
I mean, that's why it
took a week for me to get it.
1688
01:27:20,612 --> 01:27:21,680
Anyway...
1689
01:27:22,981 --> 01:27:24,350
I flew back the minute
1690
01:27:24,483 --> 01:27:26,785
that George told me that you love me.
1691
01:27:29,488 --> 01:27:32,157
Ever since that party
at the Little Branch, Billie,
1692
01:27:32,290 --> 01:27:34,292
I haven't been able
to stop thinking about you.
1693
01:27:35,627 --> 01:27:37,996
The way your nails felt on my back.
1694
01:27:39,064 --> 01:27:40,366
The way your lips felt on my--
1695
01:27:40,499 --> 01:27:43,469
Oh, hey,
PG13, we have customers.
1696
01:27:47,506 --> 01:27:48,607
Anyway...
1697
01:27:50,576 --> 01:27:53,812
you are so strong and confident,
1698
01:27:53,945 --> 01:27:56,314
so sure of your sexuality,
1699
01:27:56,448 --> 01:28:00,018
so unafraid to just go out there
and live your truth.
1700
01:28:00,151 --> 01:28:02,821
And I know
I should have texted you.
1701
01:28:02,954 --> 01:28:04,122
I'm sorry.
1702
01:28:04,590 --> 01:28:06,658
I just felt like such a coward.
1703
01:28:07,559 --> 01:28:10,195
Like I'd never be cool enough
for someone like you.
1704
01:28:11,897 --> 01:28:13,432
Just hold that thought.
1705
01:28:34,553 --> 01:28:35,921
You had me at hello.
1706
01:28:49,134 --> 01:28:51,503
Dear friends, we have come together
1707
01:28:51,637 --> 01:28:54,005
in the presence of God to celebrate
1708
01:28:54,139 --> 01:28:56,007
the marriage of these couples.
1709
01:28:56,141 --> 01:28:57,843
To surround them with our prayers
1710
01:28:57,976 --> 01:28:59,778
and to share in their joy.
1711
01:29:00,479 --> 01:29:02,981
The uniting of these persons in heart,
1712
01:29:03,114 --> 01:29:05,851
body, and mind is intended by God
1713
01:29:05,984 --> 01:29:08,820
for their mutual joy,
for the help and comfort
1714
01:29:08,954 --> 01:29:11,222
they give one another in prosperity
1715
01:29:11,356 --> 01:29:14,593
and adversity, and that
their love may be a blessing
1716
01:29:14,726 --> 01:29:16,895
to all whom they encounter.
1717
01:29:17,028 --> 01:29:20,098
If anyone knows a reason
why either of these couples
1718
01:29:20,231 --> 01:29:22,067
should not be joined in marriage,
1719
01:29:22,200 --> 01:29:25,871
I ask them to speak now
or forever hold their peace.
1720
01:29:27,205 --> 01:29:28,440
Wait!
1721
01:29:30,208 --> 01:29:31,610
Lizzie, don't do it.
1722
01:29:31,743 --> 01:29:33,144
I still have feelings for you.
1723
01:29:33,278 --> 01:29:34,446
What?
1724
01:29:36,214 --> 01:29:38,550
I'm just playing.
1725
01:29:38,684 --> 01:29:41,920
She all yours,
Georgie boy, you may proceed.
1726
01:29:42,053 --> 01:29:44,656
Behave, Leroy, or you're back in lockdown.
1727
01:29:44,790 --> 01:29:47,559
Come on.
Can't this guy take a joke?
1728
01:29:47,693 --> 01:29:51,062
Geez, Louise. Some people.
1729
01:29:51,196 --> 01:29:52,263
Anyone else?
1730
01:29:54,900 --> 01:29:57,803
I invite you to declare
your vows to one another.
1731
01:30:02,407 --> 01:30:04,075
You know
I'm ride or die for you, right?
1732
01:30:05,677 --> 01:30:06,978
Ride or die, baby.
1733
01:30:22,293 --> 01:30:23,461
I promise...
1734
01:30:25,063 --> 01:30:28,767
to adore every brick in your brownstone
1735
01:30:28,900 --> 01:30:30,502
and to cherish you
1736
01:30:30,636 --> 01:30:34,606
even when you grow old and I grow old
1737
01:30:34,740 --> 01:30:36,842
and our lintels need repointing.
1738
01:30:38,076 --> 01:30:42,480
I promise to be the sturdy
column that supports you
1739
01:30:42,614 --> 01:30:44,516
and the cornice that ornaments your life.
1740
01:30:45,651 --> 01:30:47,619
I promise to never forget the little boy
1741
01:30:47,753 --> 01:30:49,888
who rescued you
when you were a little girl.
1742
01:30:51,356 --> 01:30:54,626
And to love you for the amazing woman
1743
01:30:54,760 --> 01:30:56,461
who came back and rescued me.
1744
01:31:03,268 --> 01:31:05,637
George, I promise
1745
01:31:05,771 --> 01:31:08,373
never to forget that you are
the same amazing man
1746
01:31:08,506 --> 01:31:11,176
who rescued me when I was five
and you were seven.
1747
01:31:12,744 --> 01:31:15,213
I promise never to drink
Montefalco Rosso
1748
01:31:15,346 --> 01:31:17,048
until ten o'clock in the morning
1749
01:31:17,182 --> 01:31:19,317
unless you're the one
who's drinking with me.
1750
01:31:21,086 --> 01:31:24,155
I promise that for better or worse...
1751
01:31:25,356 --> 01:31:26,592
in sickness and in health...
1752
01:31:28,493 --> 01:31:31,429
you will always be my one true cupcake.
1753
01:31:32,564 --> 01:31:33,699
And I yours.
1754
01:31:53,685 --> 01:31:56,187
By their promises
before God and in the presence
1755
01:31:56,321 --> 01:31:57,388
of this assembly...
1756
01:32:01,292 --> 01:32:03,161
you may kiss your beloved.
1757
01:32:45,236 --> 01:32:46,838
Hey, Townhouse Confidential.
1758
01:32:51,977 --> 01:32:53,311
Deep Park?
1759
01:32:55,280 --> 01:32:57,783
- It's you.
- I'm your biggest fan.
1760
01:32:57,916 --> 01:33:00,085
I've read every blog post you ever posted.
1761
01:33:00,218 --> 01:33:02,287
So, you're some kind of stalker?
1762
01:33:02,420 --> 01:33:04,790
I'm more like a field agent.
1763
01:33:04,923 --> 01:33:07,225
I know it's kind of hard
to do investigative reporting
1764
01:33:07,358 --> 01:33:09,094
when you never leave your house.
1765
01:33:09,227 --> 01:33:10,996
So, what are you saying?
1766
01:33:11,129 --> 01:33:12,330
I want to be your partner.
1767
01:33:13,198 --> 01:33:15,734
You on the inside, me on the outside.
1768
01:33:15,867 --> 01:33:17,669
Scooping stories, winning Pulitzers.
1769
01:33:20,972 --> 01:33:22,107
Deep Park...
1770
01:33:23,208 --> 01:33:24,976
I think that this is
going to be the beginning
1771
01:33:25,110 --> 01:33:27,512
of a beautiful friendship.
1772
01:33:44,796 --> 01:33:47,699
Spotted on Washington Place.
1773
01:33:47,833 --> 01:33:50,235
New tenants moving into the townhouse
1774
01:33:50,368 --> 01:33:54,873
Lindsay Lohan left behind
just three short months ago.
1775
01:33:55,006 --> 01:33:59,177
The fortunate newcomers
are a well-known French actress,
1776
01:33:59,310 --> 01:34:02,714
her actor-director husband,
and their children,
1777
01:34:02,848 --> 01:34:04,615
who sources say have just been accepted
1778
01:34:04,750 --> 01:34:07,385
into the prestigious
Little Red Schoolhouse.
1779
01:34:08,754 --> 01:34:12,057
In other news,
Townhouse Confidential
1780
01:34:12,190 --> 01:34:15,393
has learned that
the Perry sisters' townhouse
1781
01:34:15,526 --> 01:34:18,496
has recently passed into other hands,
1782
01:34:18,629 --> 01:34:23,001
but that, according to the terms
of this unusual deal,
1783
01:34:23,134 --> 01:34:25,503
the three sisters
may continue to live there
1784
01:34:25,636 --> 01:34:28,840
rent free for as long
as they wish to do so.
1785
01:34:30,008 --> 01:34:33,444
In the words of the late,
great Jane Austin...
1786
01:34:34,880 --> 01:34:37,916
"It is a truth universally acknowledged
1787
01:34:38,049 --> 01:34:40,618
"that three scorching hot sisters
1788
01:34:40,752 --> 01:34:43,554
"who live in a West Village townhouse
1789
01:34:43,688 --> 01:34:45,623
"will not stay single for long."
1790
01:35:14,352 --> 01:35:18,189
Oh, Mother, you have no idea
what the Village holds.
1791
01:35:18,323 --> 01:35:20,926
Oil, grease, grime.
1792
01:35:21,059 --> 01:35:22,593
The trash of life.
1793
01:35:22,727 --> 01:35:23,795
The beautiful...
1794
01:35:25,196 --> 01:35:29,234
delicious, oily goodness of life, mother!
1795
01:35:30,268 --> 01:35:32,871
Oh, mother.
1796
01:35:33,839 --> 01:35:36,574
My plans. My plans have changed.
1797
01:35:38,443 --> 01:35:39,845
Get on board, mother.
1798
01:35:41,479 --> 01:35:42,948
Get on board.
1799
01:35:43,982 --> 01:35:46,184
The Barrow family is back.
1800
01:35:48,419 --> 01:35:49,620
No one's perfect.
1801
01:35:50,421 --> 01:35:52,623
Like that time Lizzie and I
hooked up on New Year's, right?
1802
01:35:52,757 --> 01:35:54,292
- Meant nothing.
- Maybe not to you,
1803
01:35:54,425 --> 01:35:55,827
but it meant something to me.
1804
01:35:55,961 --> 01:35:57,295
You didn't even text me the next day.
1805
01:35:57,428 --> 01:36:00,331
Liz, I thought we were getting married.
1806
01:36:00,465 --> 01:36:01,867
You still have feelings for Tommy?
1807
01:36:02,000 --> 01:36:03,601
No, of course not.
1808
01:36:03,734 --> 01:36:05,336
But he still could have texted me, right?
1809
01:36:12,577 --> 01:36:15,346
"The Robert and
Roberta Bethune house.
1810
01:36:15,480 --> 01:36:18,649
"Built in 1845, the Robert
and Roberta Bethune house
1811
01:36:18,783 --> 01:36:20,518
"was built for a brother and sister
1812
01:36:20,651 --> 01:36:23,154
"who lived in this
Greek Revival townhouse
1813
01:36:23,288 --> 01:36:26,357
"for 93 years without
ever venturing outside
1814
01:36:26,491 --> 01:36:27,658
"to date or marry.
1815
01:36:28,826 --> 01:36:30,962
"Well known as West Village hoarders
1816
01:36:31,096 --> 01:36:33,764
"with hundreds of cats, rumors swirled
1817
01:36:33,899 --> 01:36:36,334
"that the Bethune twins were actually--"
1818
01:36:36,467 --> 01:36:40,071
Lizzie, can we go home already.
1819
01:36:40,205 --> 01:36:42,640
Come on, we've only got
one house left anyway. Let's go.
1820
01:36:44,209 --> 01:36:48,146
♪ Keep on trying, give it
everything we've got ♪
1821
01:36:48,279 --> 01:36:51,849
♪ Gotta believe find out
what we're made of ♪
1822
01:36:51,983 --> 01:36:54,419
♪ Gonna keep my head up
just keep smiling ♪
1823
01:36:54,552 --> 01:36:57,855
♪ Even on a rainy day keep movin' ♪
1824
01:36:57,989 --> 01:37:01,059
♪ Clean up the mess
and make a better way ♪
1825
01:37:01,192 --> 01:37:03,194
♪ Keep groovin' ♪
1826
01:37:03,328 --> 01:37:05,997
♪ Do my thing and
don't care what people say ♪
1827
01:37:06,631 --> 01:37:11,002
♪ Gotta get up, gotta keep
workin' every single day ♪
1828
01:37:11,136 --> 01:37:13,471
♪ There's always gonna be
another greedy grabber ♪
1829
01:37:13,604 --> 01:37:15,673
♪ There's always gonna be
another rumor gabber ♪
1830
01:37:15,806 --> 01:37:19,377
♪ Always going to have to
find a way to tow the line ♪
1831
01:37:20,278 --> 01:37:22,347
♪ And if you don't lose
your sister's trust ♪
1832
01:37:22,480 --> 01:37:24,815
♪ And if you don't lose it all and bust ♪
1833
01:37:24,950 --> 01:37:28,419
♪ Keep on working it and you'll be fine ♪
1834
01:37:28,553 --> 01:37:30,488
♪ We gotta get up ♪
1835
01:37:30,621 --> 01:37:33,224
♪ Working harder than
we've ever worked before ♪
1836
01:37:33,358 --> 01:37:35,726
♪ Gotta speak up,
Be a fighter ♪
1837
01:37:35,860 --> 01:37:39,164
♪ When something's worth
fighting for, never give up ♪
1838
01:37:39,297 --> 01:37:43,201
♪ Keep on trying,
give it everything we've got ♪
1839
01:37:43,334 --> 01:37:46,938
♪ Gotta believe
find out what we're made of ♪
1840
01:37:47,072 --> 01:37:51,576
♪ Keep my head up, just keep
smiling even on a rainy day ♪
1841
01:37:51,709 --> 01:37:56,214
♪ Keep movin', clean up the mess
and make a better way ♪
1842
01:37:56,347 --> 01:37:58,283
♪ Keep groovin' ♪
1843
01:37:58,416 --> 01:38:01,486
♪ Do my thing and
don't care what people say ♪
1844
01:38:01,619 --> 01:38:03,989
♪ Gotta get up, gotta keep working ♪