[♪ "Smoke Rings" playing]
♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪
♪ Puff your cares away ♪
♪ Puff, puff, puff ♪
♪ Night and day ♪
♪ Blow, blow them through the air ♪
♪ Silky little rings ♪
♪ Those little smoke rings I love ♪
-[elevator dings] -[song ends]
[water running]
[elevator door opens]
Hi.
Hey.
How was… How was the thing?
Well, you know.
[smacks lips] It was a journalist's book party in Midtown.
How do you think it was?
-Utterly fine? [chuckles] -[John chuckles] Violently fine.
Anthony dropped by for a bit.
Yeah? How'd he look?
[John sighs] Frail.
Wonder why he bothered showing up.
Life is for the living.
[Carolyn chuckles] Does that constitute living?
[scoffs] A journalist book party in Midtown?
I had fun.
[♪ "No Ordinary Love" playing]
-Did you? -[John] Yeah.
Although I did get trapped for about 20 minutes
by that artist lady who wears those hats.
[stutters] Lizzie is a publicist.
The reason you think she's an artist is because she's a good publicist.
Um.
[chuckles] Wha-What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm doing?
[Carolyn giggles]
I love this song.
♪ This is no ordinary love ♪
You know what else I love?
Mmm?
I love you.
I love you too.
Tonight would have been so much more fun if you were there.
Everything's more fun when I'm there.
-That's usually true. -[giggles]
[John] You know, I think this is the first song we ever danced to.
God, we barely knew each other then.
-I knew you. I knew who you were. -Mmm?
-Yeah? [chuckles] -You were fearless.
No, I was terrified.
♪ A love like that won't last? ♪
The way you used to walk into a room and just own it.
Used to?
No, you-you know what I mean.
Baby, I missed you tonight.
Everyone was asking where you were.
It's hard to keep track of all the excuses at this point.
♪ This is no ordinary love ♪
♪ No ordinary love ♪
You're hungry. I don't want the food to get cold.
[music stops]
I'm sorry.
I wasn't trying to guilt-trip you.
Just missed you.
I mean it was a completely mediocre book party in Midtown. I…
Really doesn't sound like I missed much, right?
[John sighs]
[Carolyn clears throat]
If you were so desperate to see me, you would have just skipped it to see me.
And the fact that it didn't even occur to you as an option makes me feel like
this isn't just about us spending time together, but about…
people seeing us spend time together.
Just… [sighs]
I hate showing up to these things alone.
Because of what people will say?
No. No.
[Carolyn] Mmm.
-Well, obviously that's part of it. -Mm-hmm.
[John] You know what happens anytime I show up to these things alone.
[sighs]
There's another headline stating that we're headed for divorce.
Uh, well, I mean, at this point, they're gonna write a story no matter what.
-So… -[John] Exactly.
Damned if we do, damned if we don't.
Right, I just… I feel like we're saying the same thing here.
All I'm saying is I'd like to spend time with you outside of this loft.
I have a crazy idea.
-A plate? -Um, let's go on a trip.
-What kind of a trip? -[Carolyn] Any kind of trip you want.
Mmm. Paris, Belize, Tahiti.
-Tahiti? -Yeah, Tahiti.
Just you and me at the beach.
No parties, no obligation, no press.
No clothes.
-Carolyn. -I'm serious.
Maybe after the holidays.
After the holidays? John, it's-it's August.
It's August 30th. That's essentially September.
We have the Delancey Street Foundation dinner
-in San Francisco. -Mm-hmm.
Back to New York for Fashion Week.
Then I have the Cuba trip.
After that, we're in the Vineyard, straight to Red Gate.
Then we're back in the city for Terry and Valerie's Halloween party.
November is the George anniversary dinner.
-Mm-hmm. -Thanksgiving at Hyannis.
-[huffs] -Christmas with the cousins.
Your birthday in January.
Figured you'd wanna be with friends, but, yeah, a trip sounds nice.
[chuckles]
Okay, so what you're saying is we can't go on vacation until 1998?
[John] Of course not.
We have Hyannis next weekend, remember?
Fuck me, I forgot.
You know, a lot of people consider the Cape to be
one of the most beautiful areas of the country.
Yeah, I'm aware of that.
I don't have a problem with the Cape. It's the compound.
[John] What about it?
Come on. [scoffs]
No, let's hear it.
-Out with it. -[chuckles]
Um. It's not relaxing. Every minute of the day is accounted for.
We can't sleep in, we can't sit on the beach, we can't go for a walk.
-There's no privacy, so we never have sex. -Hmm.
Oh. There's never enough hot water, which is frankly mind-boggling,
given the marvel that is modern plumbing.
And even in the height of summer, it's always cold, like w-how?
And there are all these insane, unwritten rules.
Like, uh, board games are verboten, but playing cards encouraged.
-What's the difference? -[chuckles]
Oh. And yogurt at breakfast is sensible, but yogurt at lunch is,
and I'm quoting your cousin here,
-"Some Weight Watchers shit." [scoffs] -"Some Weight Watchers shit."
Oh. And that, um, that rule about no TV during the day.
Well, that's not a rule.
It's just… Do you wanna watch TV during the day?
I want the option.
Spending your day in front of the TV on a beautiful summer's day is just wasteful.
[Carolyn] So it is a rule?
It's a norm.
Oh, there's nothing norm about it, trust me.
Everyone shoots me these judgmental looks whenever I read magazines.
And-And before you say that Caroline reads magazines all the time too,
let me interrupt your interruption and say that Caroline reads The New Republic,
and while, technically, yes, that's a magazine, spiritually, it's a book.
-Vogue, that's a magazine. -[scoffs]
[Carolyn] And don't think I haven't noticed the expectant looks
on everyone's faces when I abstain from a cocktail.
I am basically guzzling Dark 'n' Stormys prophylactically
at this point.
Yeah, I-I have to drink or else people will think I'm pregnant. [scoffs]
You think I'm joking, but I'm serious.
I-I just feel like I'm on display, like… like there's this sense of visibility.
Like-like my body is this living, breathing report card
broadcasting the state of our relationship.
-You could always drink a Sea Breeze. -[Carolyn giggles]
-[gasps] And the clams. -The clams?
Over Fourth of July weekend,
your family had five clambakes over three days.
Six actually.
We had a midnight clambake, but I let you sleep through that one.
Who wants clams at midnight?
That-That's diabolical. [stammers] That's sadistic.
Okay, okay, I hear you.
-Hyannis can be specific. -No, I believe I said, "Sadistic."
I like spending time with our family. I'm sorry.
John, they're your family.
[John] They're your family too.
-Family is important. -Yeah, you and me, we're a family.
[phone ringing]
Hello.
What? [stutters]
What happened?
Laur-Lauren, slow down, you're scaring me.
-[John] What's going on? -[stutters]
[stutters] Mm-hmm.
Okay, what channel?
[stutters] Will you?
Yeah, okay, let me call you back, all right?
Love you. Bye.
[thuds]
[news anchor] An update now on the condition of Princess Diana,
who was involved in a traffic accident in Paris this evening.
She is in a serious condition.
She was driving with her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed.
He, according to police officials, died in the accident…
-Oh, my God! -[news anchor] …along with a chauffeur.
The princess's bodyguard was also injured. We don't know his condition at this hour.
-The accident happened… -Oh, my God.
[news anchor] …as Diana's car was being pursued
by a group of paparazzis on motorcycles as they entered a tunnel
-along the River Seine. -I just saw her.
-What? -At Gianni's funeral.
I-I sat right behind her.
[news anchor] She has been monitoring Paris for any new information.
-[news anchor] Nina, can you hear me? -[Nina] Yes, I can.
[news anchor] Dodi Al-Fayed, obviously, a very famous man, a millionaire as well.
Do you have any news on his condition?
We have police reports and others saying that he is in fact…
[Nina] All we know at the moment is that he has in fact…
…as well as the driver.
Princess Diana apparently has been severely injured
as well as a bodyguard.
[news anchor 2] Do we know the nature of her injury?
-Carolyn. -[Nina] Not at this moment.
-We know that she has been taken… -Carolyn.
[Carolyn] Yeah?
The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean?
[Carolyn] What?
The glasses in the dishwasher, are they clean?
I-I don't know.
[news anchor] There has been no comment from Buckingham Palace…
[John] You don't know if you ran the dishwasher or not?
-[stutters] What? -[John] I don't get how you don't know.
-You either ran it or you didn't. -Why are you asking me?
[John] You've been home all day.
Do you remember hearing the dishwasher run?
Yes, I did a dish wash.
[sighs]
[news anchor 2] The paparazzi, of course, have been trying to photograph
Princess Diana with Dodi Al-Fayed, a famous millionaire with whom
she has been in a romantic relationship for the last couple of weeks.
[news anchor] Have they been engendering a fair bit of publicity
while they were in Paris? 'Cause most people knew they were there.
[Nina] Oh, yes. There has been an extraordinary amount of tabloid and media…
[news anchor] What can you tell us
about the area of Paris where the accident occurred?
I guess it was the entrance ramp of the tunnel.
[Nina] It was an entrance route to the underground tunnel
that goes under the Seine River.
This area is well-known by tourists. So it's a very well-populated area.
-[clunks] -[news anchor 2] Let's go back
to the scene of the wreckage.
There's the recognizable back end of the Mercedes sedan,
and there is the unrecognizable front end
of what must have been a high-speed collision.
In the front part of the car, the two flashes of white there
are the deployed airbags, the remnants of the airbags.
Princess Diana is unmatched when it comes to generating interest
and, indeed, cash for deserving projects…
-I'm going for a run. -[news anchor 2] …taken an interest.
-Her most high-profile involvement… -What?
[news anchor 2] …has been to draw the world's attention
-to the horrors facing civilians… -John.
-I'll be back in a bit. -[Carolyn scoffs]
[♪ "Exit Music" playing]
-[news anchor] Diana was also recently… -[elevator dings, opens]
[news anchor] …mostly dominating headlines in the newspaper,
especially in Britain, concerning her relationship with Dodi Al-Fayed,
which reported that she joined her 40-year-old millionaire companion
and a group of friends for a Mediterranean cruise,
once again, putting her personal life under scrutiny.
Her private holiday was filmed by the Italian paparazzi,
who are now auctioning the photographs to the highest bidder.
We will continue to cover…
♪ We escape ♪
♪ Breathe ♪
♪ Keep breathing ♪
♪ I can't do this ♪
♪ Alone ♪
♪ You can laugh ♪
♪ A spineless laugh ♪
♪ We hope your rules ♪
[news anchor] …it said, and I quote,
"Princess Diana has died."
♪ And wisdom choke you ♪
♪ Now we are one ♪
♪ In everlasting peace ♪
♪ We hope that you choke ♪
♪ That you choke ♪
[elevator door closes]
[news anchor 4] …very tragic turn, with confirmation
from Buckingham Palace tonight
that the world has lost Princess Diana at age 36.
The official cause of death was listed as cardiac arrest
following massive trauma and head injuries.
-[Carolyn] She's dead. -[sighs]
[news anchor 4] Doctors noted that these injuries were consistent
with a high-speed collision.
[news anchor 5] If you are now tuning in, we have been covering…
-They killed her. -[news anchor 5] …accident of Princess…
[Carolyn] She did everything right, posed for every photo,
gave them everything they wanted, and they just…
[news anchor 5] Her companion, Dodi Al-Fayed, was killed outright…
-…they still killed her. -[news anchor 5] …the Mercedes car.
-Surgeons at a nearby hospital… -It's very sad.
-[Carolyn] It's monstrous. -[news anchor 5] …a battle they lost.
The British ambassador…
She was their princess, and they treated her like prey.
[news anchor 5] …which we now know got rather frantic
as they started to lose her pulse.
-[news anchor 5] At the scene, police… -I gotta clean my face off.
[news anchor 5] …paparazzi photographers allegedly pursuing the princess's car
in a high-speed chase.
Seven men were arrested.
And the film rolls have all been confiscated.
And the world is slowly learning of this news…
You know, I think there's something really macabre about watching this shit
when right now, halfway across the world, someone is waking up her kids
before they find out their parent is dead on TV.
[news anchor 5] He and the First Lady have sent
their condolences to Buckingham Palace.
There are reports that the royal family, uh, they are at Balmoral in Scotland…
[Carolyn] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
[sighs]
[Carolyn] Those poor boys.
At least they have each other.
Like you and Caroline.
-Like me and Caroline? -[Carolyn] Yeah.
This is nothing like what me and Caroline went through.
They're princes. They're members of a monarchy.
I was three when my dad died. I grew up 60 blocks from here.
I rode my bike to school. It's night and day.
Okay.
You're telling me it wasn't like that.
What was it like?
-I don't wanna talk about it. -John.
You're making assumptions and trying to tell me
what my own childhood was like,
and I have everyone else in the world to do that for me
without having to hear it from my own wife.
John.
I'm just trying to understand.
-Does it not scare you? -[sighs]
John.
Fine.
You wanna know what I'm so scared of? What's going through my head?
What I was thinking about the entire time during my jog?
That you are never gonna leave the house again.
Do I see the parallels between what we deal with
and what happened to her?
Of course I do. But can I say that?
No, it'll just be one more thing that's gonna stop you from living your life.
You wanna know why I can't watch this?
Because if I do, I'll never fucking stop, okay?
[sighs]
Do you wanna hear about my childhood?
I don't remember my dad dying, at all.
But what I remember vividly is my mom being basically in a trance.
And the hours that Caroline and the nanny and I spent
while my mom was locked away in a dark room, crying alone.
And why… Couldn't she just play with me?
It was my mother I watched die, not my dad.
I watched her die twice.
And now it feels like I'm watching you slip away.
You're choosing the darkness.
I'm watching it happen. I feel like I'm being abandoned again.
I can't lose you. You're the one person I can't lose.
Do you understand that?
I've lost so many people in my life, and I can't lose you.
I can't. I can't lose you.
-John. -[John] I can't, I can't. I can't. [sobs]
[Carolyn shushes]
I can't lose you, Carolyn.
-Breathe. -[John sobbing]
I'm not going anywhere.
Just breathe.
[♪ "Smile" playing]
♪ Now you should smile ♪
♪ Though your heart is aching ♪
♪ Smile even though it's breaking ♪
♪ When there are clouds ♪
♪ Way up in the sky ♪
♪ You're gonna get by ♪
♪ That's the time ♪
♪ You must keep on trying ♪
♪ Oh, you gotta smile ♪
♪ What's the use of crying ♪
♪ You'll find that life is still ♪
♪ Worthwhile ♪
♪ If you'd just ♪
♪ Smile ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Now show me a little smile ♪
You're gonna hurt yourself.
-You sure you don't want a hand? -[Carolyn] No, I'm good.
God, we went through so much wine.
[John] Uh-huh.
[grunts]
[phone beeps]
[sighs]
Hey, Jason. It's John.
My dinner is done. I'm just at home.
Give me a call whenever.
Why are you calling your flight instructor?
What are you talking about? I talk to him all the time.
I have to log 40 more hours before I'm instrument-rated. [grunts]
You just crashed flying that ridiculous lawn mower contraption.
I think it's obvious you need a bit more time than that.
It's called a Buckeye, and it's an entirely different machine.
Buckeyes have nothing to do with airplanes.
Didn't you promise Caroline you were done with flying?
Since when are you so concerned with what Caroline wants?
What are you doing?
-I want my cigarettes. -No, just sit. Sit. I'll get them for you.
I don't want you hobbling up the stairs.
[John] They're not up the stairs. They're in my room.
-[door closes] -[cutlery clanking]
[John grunts]
You know, if we left now, we could probably catch the tail end
of that Vanity Fair party at Pravda.
John, you're not supposed to be putting any pressure on that ankle.
No parties, no stairs, no flying lessons.
Well, we'll take a cab. I can sit when I get there.
[Carolyn sighs]
-Ugh. Fuck. -[Carolyn] I'm wiped.
But if you wanna go, you should go.
Wiped? It's not even 11:00.
Can you please stop with the candle?
Wait, is this a fight right now?
No, I'm fine.
What? What now?
Fine, if you want me to sit here and beg you for it, I will.
Or we can just fast-forward to the part
where you tell me exactly how it is I fucked up.
[John sighs]
You told me to go work for Petra.
-When? -Uh, thirty minutes ago,
at this dinner party you insisted on hosting.
Petra was complaining about how difficult it is to find
anyone with work experience willing to build something from the ground up
and accept a pay cut, and you started yelling at me for--
-I did not yell. -Yeah, John, you were literally yelling.
And I know that because you were seated at the other end of the table.
All I said was that you had fashion experience
-and you didn't need money. -PR.
-I have PR experience. -At Calvin Klein.
Isn't that fashion? That's fashion.
Petra has a jewelry line, John. I'm not a jewelry designer.
Well, I'm sorry for insinuating that you have great taste.
Yeah, that qualifies me to buy jewelry.
-Not make it. -[sighs]
It's humiliating getting pitched for job after job
regardless of my interests or qualifications.
-When have I ever-- -[Carolyn] You do it all the time.
I mean, you practically shoved me
into André Leon Talley's lap at that fundraiser.
-No, I did not. -[Carolyn] John, yes, you did.
You know, it makes me feel like I am this dead weight
that you are desperate to shed. You're just… You're…
You're getting wax all over the table.
I thought you hated this table.
What did you mean I insisted on hosting this dinner party?
It was your idea, wasn't it?
Well, I knew better than to suggest we go to a restaurant,
or anywhere else other than this apartment.
[stammers] Are you seriously that upset
that I organized a dinner party for your friends?
It really bothers me when you do that.
Do what?
Delineate between my friends and your friends.
We're a unit, John. They're our friends.
[sighs]
Okay, Carolyn.
-Pronoun rescinded. -[Carolyn] What are you doing?
Sorry if my grammar offended you.
[Carolyn] Y-You seemed perfectly happy holding court with my friends.
[John] Yeah, well, they were bombarding me with questions.
Yes.
And to be honest, I think people are uncomfortable asking you
about what's going on in your life
'cause they're not sure if you want to talk about it.
[stutters] What do you mean what's going on in my life?
You know, that you're still trying to figure out your thing.
My thing. [scoffs]
You know, enough with this relentless pressure to have a thing.
Why do I have to have a thing?
It's all I hear about from your family and your friends
and-and the press, and especially you.
Because it's not enough to just be a Kennedy, no.
No, you have to work at the NRDC or make a documentary
or write a book about constitutional law.
I am 33 years old. I've been working since I'm 15.
Can't my thing just be taking a beat
to settle into my marriage and enjoy my life?
Is that what you're doing all day alone in the apartment, enjoying your life?
I'm figuring it out.
And in the meantime, I don't wanna just join some board
because it would make you feel better when people ask me what I do at dinner parties.
I would think you, of all people, should be able to understand that.
-Me, of all people? -[Carolyn] Yes, John.
You, of all people, should know what this is like.
Instead, you just come at me with all this unhelpful help,
like it's become a full-time job just…
just batting away this constant barrage of indiscriminate suggestions
on how to fill my days, and-and…
and I… I feel guilty.
Because I know you think you're trying to be helpful, but it doesn't…
It doesn't feel helpful.
It feels like you're judging me.
So, what am I supposed to do when you complain
about how unmoored your life feels?
Just sit there and say nothing?
Yes. Yes.
Just say nothing.
Just… Just listen.
That's what I need from you.
I just need you to sit and listen and let me feel lost.
Can I… Like, can I just… f-feel lost?
Can you please allow me the space to do that?
Yes.
-[sighs] Okay. -[John] Yes, I can do that.
You know, look, I get that it's daunting to start over, but just look at my mom.
Oh, my God.
She was a lifelong reader who became a book editor at the age of 46.
Forty-six. Yes, John, I know. I know.
All I'm saying is that she figured it out
despite public scrutiny or the threat of public scrutiny.
John, it is impossible for me to overstate just how aware I am
that your mother was a very impressive woman.
Believe me, okay?
But do you think your mother could have held a nine-to-five job in publishing
when she was married to the most famous man on the planet?
-She did that when she was a widow. -Enough! Enough about my mother.
-What? John, John, you brought her up. -And now I'm saying to drop it.
-You mention my mother enough. -Your mother's still here
-to defend herself. -Mm-hmm.
You don't know how lucky you are that I never introduced you to my mother
because she never would have encouraged this.
Us.
Wow.
I mean, it's not like I would have listened to her.
No, no. Yeah. Sure.
Maybe I should have listened to mine.
What?
My mother basically told me I should end this.
When?
-At the wedding. -All right. The speech.
No, no, it was earlier.
-That afternoon. -[John] What are you talking about?
Carolyn.
Carolyn, what are you talking about?
-Carolyn. -[Carolyn] My mother came into my room
the day of our rehearsal dinner and warned me not to marry you.
She said that you would never prioritize me,
that you'd always choose your job or your family or yourself,
that you would never make space for me in your life.
And I pushed back on her, I told her she was wrong,
-and now… now I-I don't know that she was. -Carolyn, I do make space for you.
No, John, John, I know you think you do, but you're always out.
You come home at 11:00, at midnight. Last night, you were home at 3:00 a.m.
Yeah, well, we're closing the August issue of George.
You're always… Uh…
You're always closing the magazine.
Or you're out getting drinks to celebrate closing the magazine,
or you're chasing some writer or investor, or you're tearing up the layout,
and if it's not the magazine, it's a Kennedy benefit
or a fundraiser or a Senate run.
So you don't support it.
[sighs]
I support you.
And I'd support it if I really thought it was something you believed in,
but everything for you comes out of this misplaced sense of obligation.
Like your lunch idea.
I specifically set aside two lunches a week,
so that I can spend time with you.
That's not the same as wanting to spend time with me.
-[John] It's literally the same thing. -No, lunch is a checkbox.
It's something you can tell yourself to absolve yourself of guilt.
-What guilt? -You don't want to be around me.
You don't want to talk to me.
Half the time, you're sleeping in the other room.
I talk to you all the time.
No, John, you're not interested in me.
You don't solicit my advice.
You're not fascinated by what I want to say.
You're not curious about me.
You talk to me just long enough to keep the peace,
just long enough to prevent more conversation.
You used to be desperate to spend every single second with me,
and now you treat our marriage like it's this layover
between places that you really want to be.
And I get it.
I imagine it's tough seeing how unhappy you make me.
You know what?
It is.
And that's all I seem to be capable of lately…
is disappointing people.
I spend all day fighting with publishers, investors, bankers,
all telling me to take my magazine out back and shoot it in the head.
And then I come home and I fight with you about how I'm never home.
And then I go to bed each night dreading the moment I get up
and having to do it all over again.
And the worst part about it is that I wanna talk to you about all of this,
but you feel a million miles away.
You're here, but you're not here.
And I miss you, Carolyn. I miss the person I fell in love with.
John, I'm right here.
I am the person you fell in love with.
But you don't want this version of me.
You want… You want the cold, unattainable,
shiny version, the-the version of me that's like a trophy.
I mean, the moment I started being vulnerable with you, you--
You think you're vulnerable with me?
To be vulnerable, you'd actually have to want something and need something.
The only thing you seem to want to do is tell me again and again and again
how much you hate our life.
I knew it. I knew it. I should never have let my guard down.
[stutters] I broke my own rule. I'm so dumb.
-I've just been bracing myself. -For what?
[Carolyn] I'm always bracing myself, John.
I have spent my entire life just bracing myself
for these terrible things to happen to me and deal with them alone.
And this is no different from any of that.
You knew who I was before you married me.
[Carolyn] God, I wish people would stop telling me that.
No one knows who they're marrying.
Apparently not.
People are supposed to change, John.
-I didn't. -[scoffs]
You say that like it's a virtue, like it's… like it's somehow commendable.
You haven't made any space for me in your life.
Tell me one thing that you have changed in your life
since we've been married.
You live in the same loft, you have the same job, the same friends,
you spend the same weekends at Red Gate or Hyannis,
the same schedule.
Everything in my life has changed. Do you understand that?
That's your choice.
You act like every misfortune in your life
is the result of some ultimatum I've given you,
like you have zero agency in this relationship.
I didn't make you quit your job. I didn't make you marry me.
I didn't tell you to let the tabloids ruin your life. But you know what?
I think there's a part of you that enjoys this shit with the press.
-Excuse me? -[John] Yeah, so you can lord it over me.
Punish me with it, fault me endlessly
for not controlling things outside of my control.
You relish it.
It's like you have no identity outside of your own victimhood.
Thank you. Thank you. You love how hated I am.
Of course you do, because you're America's son,
and I am just another tragedy you bravely endure.
Well. Yeah, I think I may have hit my limit.
What are you talking about?
[Carolyn] John, what are you talking about?
Maybe I've endured enough tragedy for one lifetime.
Fuck. [groans]
[groans]
John, come back.
John!
John, what are you doing? [panting]
What…
I can't keep doing this.
[panting]
What are you talking about?
Doing what? What are you… What are you talking about?
Everything and everyone I touch falls apart,
and now this is falling apart too.
And I just think that if I stay, I'm gonna do or say something that I'll regret.
L-Like what? Like what, John?
[John] I'll be at the Stanhope. Just a day or two.
[Carolyn] No, J-John, just say what you were gonna say.
There is nothing you can say to me
that would hurt me more than you walking out that door.
Do you know what it's like to see it in your eyes
that I'm failing at this marriage?
Like I failed as a lawyer and now I'm failing as a magazine editor.
I couldn't help my mom. And I can't help Anthony.
And I don't think I can handle another failure right now.
[Carolyn] No, John.
When I told you everything ends, you said not us.
What happened to not us, John?
What happened to not us? What happened to not us?
[sobs] What happened to not us?
When I told you everything ends, you said not us.
What happened to not us?
[Carolyn sobs]
This isn't ending.
Yes, it is.
You're running away.
I don't want to keep hurting you, Carolyn.
-[Carolyn sobbing] -I wanna be with you.
Then be with me.
I don't wanna fight.
You have to.
[pants] That's what people do. They fight. They stay, they fight.
If we keep fighting, we're gonna lose each other.
[Carolyn pants] Please don't leave me.
Please.
Please don't prove my mother right.
I'm coming back, I promise.
[sobbing]
[John] I love you.
[crying]
[elevator dings]
[elevator whooshes]
[sobbing]