1 00:00:04,581 --> 00:00:06,317 [Will speaking] 2 00:00:06,317 --> 00:00:07,751 [attendant speaking] 3 00:00:11,155 --> 00:00:12,523 [Sean speaking] 4 00:00:12,523 --> 00:00:14,725 [attendant speaking] 5 00:00:14,725 --> 00:00:15,659 [Amanda] Thank you. 6 00:00:15,659 --> 00:00:16,727 [Jason] Make sure you flush, Will. 7 00:00:17,528 --> 00:00:18,395 [Will laughing] 8 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,733 [Jason and Amanda laughing] 9 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:25,569 [Sean] Uh, what's he gonna do in the locker room? 10 00:00:25,569 --> 00:00:26,970 [Jason] What do you think? 11 00:00:26,970 --> 00:00:28,572 [Sean] Uh, he couldn't just do that upstairs? 12 00:00:29,940 --> 00:00:30,974 [Jason] Uh, room key. 13 00:00:30,974 --> 00:00:31,975 [keypad beeps] 14 00:00:31,975 --> 00:00:32,876 [Jason] It's red. 15 00:00:32,876 --> 00:00:34,178 - [keypad beeps] - [Jason] Red. 16 00:00:34,178 --> 00:00:35,579 - [keypad beeps] - [Jason] Still red! 17 00:00:39,049 --> 00:00:39,883 [keypad beeps] 18 00:00:40,851 --> 00:00:41,685 [Sean] Still locked. 19 00:00:44,721 --> 00:00:46,022 [Amanda] It might just be... Uh, go! 20 00:00:46,022 --> 00:00:47,524 Go! Green, green, green. Go! 21 00:00:47,524 --> 00:00:49,160 - Go. - [Sean] It's open? 22 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,994 [Amanda] What? How do you get in there? 23 00:00:50,994 --> 00:00:53,197 [all laughing] 24 00:00:57,301 --> 00:00:59,470 [robotic voice] Smart. Less. 25 00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,709 Smart. Less. 26 00:01:34,671 --> 00:01:35,706 - Oh. - [Will laughs] 27 00:01:40,377 --> 00:01:41,912 [laughing] 28 00:01:51,322 --> 00:01:52,256 [Sean] Pivot. 29 00:02:03,734 --> 00:02:04,768 [panting] 30 00:02:10,974 --> 00:02:12,008 [feet running] 31 00:02:24,788 --> 00:02:25,622 All alone. 32 00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:27,524 By himself. 33 00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:30,093 No thoughts. 34 00:02:30,861 --> 00:02:31,995 Just run. 35 00:02:33,597 --> 00:02:34,431 Run. 36 00:02:34,998 --> 00:02:35,832 Empty. 37 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,302 Nothing come in. 38 00:02:39,636 --> 00:02:41,372 Nothing come out. 39 00:02:42,339 --> 00:02:43,874 Just run... 40 00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:45,542 ...like machine. 41 00:02:46,677 --> 00:02:48,279 Machine stay empty. 42 00:02:49,613 --> 00:02:51,982 Empty machine is goal. 43 00:02:52,783 --> 00:02:54,117 Empty vessel. 44 00:02:55,185 --> 00:02:56,019 Machine. 45 00:03:02,459 --> 00:03:03,727 I mean, it's kinda true. [laughs] 46 00:03:04,628 --> 00:03:06,463 [police siren wailing] 47 00:03:11,302 --> 00:03:13,404 [Will] Ah, Matza ball soup. 48 00:03:13,404 --> 00:03:15,606 They got a New England [fake Boston accent] Clam Chowder. 49 00:03:15,606 --> 00:03:17,374 I don't think that's a good call. 50 00:03:17,374 --> 00:03:19,576 Fucking belly full of fucking chowder. 51 00:03:20,911 --> 00:03:22,979 Okay. Hot wings? No. 52 00:03:24,214 --> 00:03:25,416 Chicken club wrap. 53 00:03:26,983 --> 00:03:28,319 The One Dalton burger. 54 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:29,953 Steak frites. 55 00:03:31,154 --> 00:03:32,356 Possible burger. 56 00:03:32,356 --> 00:03:34,458 Oh, my god. I just did a little drive-by of your closet. 57 00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:37,628 You got a read fur collar on that coat, huh? 58 00:03:38,228 --> 00:03:39,229 I know. 59 00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:40,564 [Jason] Oh, boy. 60 00:03:40,564 --> 00:03:42,333 - Where do we gonna get to enjoy that? - I'm not gonna wear it. 61 00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:45,602 You're saying you don't wanna reveal on this documentary what a douchebag you are? 62 00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:47,237 You wanna keep that for later? 63 00:03:48,572 --> 00:03:51,207 - Do you... Do you... - I think the horse is outta the barn. 64 00:03:51,207 --> 00:03:52,809 Do you wanna go down this road? 65 00:03:52,809 --> 00:03:53,677 Uh-uh. 66 00:03:55,912 --> 00:03:57,147 [Amanda] What is happening with you two? 67 00:03:57,681 --> 00:03:58,882 It's flirting. 68 00:03:58,882 --> 00:04:01,017 - This is the way we start to get it going. - [Will laughing] 69 00:04:01,017 --> 00:04:03,019 Oh, slightly disturbing. Okay. 70 00:04:03,019 --> 00:04:04,855 I'm going to Eli's room. I'll be back. 71 00:04:04,855 --> 00:04:08,359 - Did you already shower after you... you did the, um, uh-- - Yeah. 72 00:04:08,359 --> 00:04:10,427 - ...lazy man's workout in the sauna? - Yeah. 73 00:04:13,063 --> 00:04:17,701 I'd like to sweat but I don't wanna exert to cause it. 74 00:04:17,701 --> 00:04:19,403 Let me just sit in a hot room. 75 00:04:19,403 --> 00:04:20,871 I lifted weights. 76 00:04:21,738 --> 00:04:22,739 M'Okay. 77 00:04:22,739 --> 00:04:25,509 Wait, you... you ran six miles on a treadmill. 78 00:04:25,509 --> 00:04:27,378 So cool it Iron Man. 79 00:04:27,378 --> 00:04:29,546 Also, tell your face... 80 00:04:30,381 --> 00:04:31,882 - That I exercised? - Yeah. 81 00:04:31,882 --> 00:04:32,983 It's still puffy? 82 00:04:32,983 --> 00:04:34,918 - The eyes. - No. 83 00:04:34,918 --> 00:04:36,487 You know the movie The Hills Have Eyes? 84 00:04:36,487 --> 00:04:38,855 You could do the remake but it's called "The Eyes Have Hills." 85 00:04:38,855 --> 00:04:40,056 [laughs] 86 00:04:40,056 --> 00:04:41,224 [cameraman laughs] 87 00:04:41,224 --> 00:04:42,626 You don't need to laugh at that. 88 00:04:42,626 --> 00:04:45,028 - You know what I mean? - You know what? You're shaking the camera. 89 00:04:45,028 --> 00:04:47,898 You didn't just walk into that, you built that joke. 90 00:04:48,632 --> 00:04:50,401 - I'm a setup guy. - Yeah. 91 00:04:50,401 --> 00:04:51,602 I enjoy it. 92 00:04:51,602 --> 00:04:53,269 So keep 'em coming, smartass. 93 00:04:55,739 --> 00:04:56,573 [knocking] 94 00:04:59,109 --> 00:04:59,976 - [Sean] Hi, come on in. - [man] House... 95 00:05:01,211 --> 00:05:02,946 You guys ordered food? 96 00:05:02,946 --> 00:05:05,482 We just had breakfast, like, two seconds ago. 97 00:05:05,482 --> 00:05:07,250 - [Will] Okay? - [Sean] No, but I'm saying, like, are you gonna-- 98 00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,819 [Jason] You know, it's four or five hours away. 99 00:05:08,819 --> 00:05:10,153 - [Sean] Yeah, all right. - [man speaking] 100 00:05:10,153 --> 00:05:12,322 - Okay, great. Thank you. - [Will] Thank you so much. 101 00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:13,189 [man speaking] 102 00:05:15,526 --> 00:05:17,494 Yeah, I think... Who cares, it's just for them. 103 00:05:17,494 --> 00:05:18,962 [man laughs] 104 00:05:18,962 --> 00:05:20,931 [Jason] Will, why don't you help him set up instead of just watching? 105 00:05:20,931 --> 00:05:21,798 [Will shushing] 106 00:05:22,733 --> 00:05:25,001 [humming] Ta ta ta ta diggie diggie dum . 107 00:05:25,001 --> 00:05:26,336 - [Will] Sorry he's so chatty. - [man speaking] 108 00:05:26,437 --> 00:05:27,438 [Will] I know. 109 00:05:27,438 --> 00:05:29,506 He's got a lotta issues. 110 00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:32,876 Oh, whip pan onto this. 111 00:05:32,876 --> 00:05:33,977 Whip pan onto this. He's... 112 00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,813 - [Jason] What's implausible about it... - Let go. 113 00:05:36,813 --> 00:05:37,981 Whip pan. 114 00:05:37,981 --> 00:05:39,983 Silverware, whip pan. What's the... 115 00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:41,518 Ask him what the aspect ratio is. 116 00:05:41,518 --> 00:05:43,019 I want you to whip pan on this. 117 00:05:43,019 --> 00:05:45,188 - Ready? One, two, three. - [thud] 118 00:05:45,188 --> 00:05:46,322 - [Sean laughing] - You're watching... 119 00:05:46,322 --> 00:05:50,026 You're watching somebody who can't let go and control. 120 00:05:50,026 --> 00:05:51,462 [Jason] Oh, can I not let go? 121 00:05:51,462 --> 00:05:52,463 But I let go on that. 122 00:05:53,329 --> 00:05:54,264 What? No! 123 00:05:56,266 --> 00:05:57,901 - Try it. Try to hit me right in the face. - I'm not gonna hit you. 124 00:05:58,602 --> 00:05:59,836 - No. - [thud] 125 00:05:59,836 --> 00:06:01,938 [Will] Oh! God, you're lucky you put that there. 126 00:06:01,938 --> 00:06:03,206 It was dead on. 127 00:06:03,206 --> 00:06:04,841 This is why you need two camera coverage. 128 00:06:05,275 --> 00:06:06,943 Oh, my back. 129 00:06:06,943 --> 00:06:08,479 [Will] And by the way, we just made a mess. 130 00:06:08,479 --> 00:06:09,813 Sorry about that, sir. 131 00:06:09,813 --> 00:06:12,148 - [man speaking] - He's got psychological issues. 132 00:06:12,148 --> 00:06:13,984 And you know, I know... 133 00:06:13,984 --> 00:06:16,987 It's good to laugh 'cause it's the only thing that gets you through it. 134 00:06:16,987 --> 00:06:18,388 [Sean laughing] 135 00:06:18,489 --> 00:06:20,356 Let me just wipe up the apple juice. 136 00:06:20,957 --> 00:06:24,495 I mean, it's unbelievable. 137 00:06:24,495 --> 00:06:26,530 [laughs] Just... 138 00:06:28,632 --> 00:06:30,100 [Will] You have to have fun, and we keep telling him that, 139 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,802 and... and he just doesn't know how. 140 00:06:31,802 --> 00:06:33,604 - [Sean laughing] - [man speaking] 141 00:06:33,604 --> 00:06:35,606 - [Sean] Yeah. - [Will] Well, his is for sure. 142 00:06:36,507 --> 00:06:37,841 His is definitely for... 143 00:06:38,542 --> 00:06:40,043 Speaking residuals, right now. 144 00:06:41,011 --> 00:06:42,746 [Will laughing] Sure, Karen. 145 00:06:42,746 --> 00:06:43,980 - [Sean] What'd he say? - He said... [laughs] 146 00:06:46,316 --> 00:06:47,518 Think, okay? 147 00:06:47,518 --> 00:06:48,785 - [Sean] What did you say? - You... You're the studio. 148 00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:51,021 - Think. - You're the studio. 149 00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:52,623 Triggering residuals. 150 00:06:52,623 --> 00:06:53,957 - [laughs] - Right? [laughs] 151 00:06:57,027 --> 00:06:58,695 But you know what, he's got a mask on so you can just... 152 00:06:59,295 --> 00:07:00,296 [imitates dial squeaking] 153 00:07:00,296 --> 00:07:01,732 - [Will] Thank you so much. - [man speaking] 154 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:05,936 - [Will] Awesome. - [Jason] Thank you. 155 00:07:05,936 --> 00:07:07,904 [Will] This is not for you so get... back off. 156 00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:10,373 - Hey, man. - [Sean laughs] 157 00:07:11,274 --> 00:07:12,709 - [Will] So... Fuck. - [Jason] You see? 158 00:07:12,709 --> 00:07:14,244 Everyone's gotta laugh, Will. 159 00:07:14,244 --> 00:07:16,279 - Get the fuck out of my food. - [Sean] Thank you so much. 160 00:07:16,279 --> 00:07:17,581 I'm so sorry for the... 161 00:07:17,581 --> 00:07:19,082 - [man speaking] - [Sean] Okay. 162 00:07:19,082 --> 00:07:20,083 Okay, sure. 163 00:07:22,285 --> 00:07:23,920 [Will] Learn something from what he said. 164 00:07:25,255 --> 00:07:27,357 - Let go. - Don't forget the mayo, fat fuck. 165 00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:28,224 [Will] Oh, don't worry, I won't. 166 00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:34,230 Do you feel, like, sometimes you miss out on stuff, like, that you're not enjoying life? 167 00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:36,032 - Are you gonna be worried? - No. 168 00:07:36,032 --> 00:07:38,101 [Will] On your deathbed you're gonna go "Fuck." 169 00:07:38,101 --> 00:07:40,070 [Jason] How many sauces you gonna put on that? 170 00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:41,938 - I don't know. - Oops. 171 00:07:41,938 --> 00:07:42,806 - Oopsie. - [Jason] All right. 172 00:07:43,774 --> 00:07:44,608 Having fun though. 173 00:07:45,441 --> 00:07:48,278 Enjoying my life. It's happening now. 174 00:07:48,278 --> 00:07:52,783 God, you're gonna be so shriveled and zero bone density on your deathbed, 175 00:07:52,783 --> 00:07:54,651 - age 59. - Laughs. 176 00:07:54,651 --> 00:07:55,986 The body of an old fucking man. 177 00:07:55,986 --> 00:07:57,588 The autopsy's gonna be like, 178 00:07:57,588 --> 00:07:59,923 "Ooh, gross. His insides have poured out." 179 00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:01,592 - [laughs] -"Nothing holding them together. 180 00:08:01,592 --> 00:08:03,594 This guy's malnourished, what happened?" 181 00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:13,336 [Jason] The... Oh, my god. You're halfway done with that, and you've taken two bites. 182 00:08:13,336 --> 00:08:16,873 You haven't even finished chewing the first bite and you put a second one in. 183 00:08:18,008 --> 00:08:20,143 Yeah, and make sure you knock it down 184 00:08:20,143 --> 00:08:23,413 with some carbonated beverage that's just gonna, like... 185 00:08:23,413 --> 00:08:25,716 It's just hysteria in your stomach now. 186 00:08:25,716 --> 00:08:26,617 I know. 187 00:08:27,450 --> 00:08:28,284 It's so good. 188 00:08:33,223 --> 00:08:34,290 Look what Sean got. 189 00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:36,893 - [silently laughing] - Here. 190 00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:39,062 Just so you don't have to reach 'cause I see you eyeing them. 191 00:08:39,062 --> 00:08:40,831 No, I had three of 'em, that's enough. 192 00:08:40,831 --> 00:08:41,832 What about your salad? 193 00:08:41,832 --> 00:08:43,133 I'm a big dude. What about it? 194 00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:45,201 When is that happening? 195 00:08:45,201 --> 00:08:46,502 - I'm not gonna eat it. - How 'bout this loaf of bread? 196 00:08:46,502 --> 00:08:47,370 I didn't order that. 197 00:08:48,371 --> 00:08:50,273 - You're not gonna eat the salad? - No. 198 00:08:50,273 --> 00:08:52,175 - I got soup. - [Sean] Let me have that. 199 00:08:52,175 --> 00:08:53,043 There you go. 200 00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:55,946 - So-shi-me. - Sashimi. 201 00:08:56,446 --> 00:08:58,148 [laughs] 202 00:08:59,382 --> 00:09:03,019 - It's one of the dumbest things ever said. [laughs] - Oh. 203 00:09:03,019 --> 00:09:05,021 - [chuckles] - Anyways, this is perfect. 204 00:09:06,657 --> 00:09:08,825 Well what did you think I was gonna do, take pictures of it? 205 00:09:08,825 --> 00:09:10,226 [laughs] 206 00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:13,219 [Sean] You got a chicken breast? 207 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,121 [Jason] Uh, the chicken breast can be here, yes, thank you. 208 00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:18,357 And Will would like to sign for that. 209 00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:19,492 - For all of that. - I'd love to. 210 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:20,459 - [man laughs] - I'd love to. 211 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:21,960 [man] Thank you so much. 212 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,499 And he doesn't wanna ask, can you put that bread in his bag, 213 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,267 - um, in his room please. - [man laughs] 214 00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:29,835 - 'Cause he wants to take it to New York. - [laughs] After all... 215 00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:31,237 - Yeah, thank you. - After all... 216 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,738 Doesn't want anybody to see it. 217 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,840 If you guys have any of those airplane barf bags too, that'd be great. 218 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,243 - [laughs] - Thank you! 219 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:39,878 - Thank you my friend. - [man] Take care. 220 00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:41,114 - [Amanda] Thank you. - Thank you so much. 221 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,548 - Oh, you're done? - Oh, yeah, oh yeah. Thanks, Sean. 222 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:43,416 - Sorry. [laughs] - [man] Just one? 223 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,120 [Amanda] Uh oh, here he goes. 224 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,688 - [Jason] Oh. - He'll clear the table before we're done eating. 225 00:09:49,688 --> 00:09:52,225 - [man laughs] You're done, right? Okay. - [Amanda] Truly. 226 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,392 [Jason] Don't get pissed off, Sean. 227 00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,561 Sean, relax. He's just doing his... okay. 228 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:57,530 [man] Enjoy. Thank you so much. 229 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,598 - [Sean and Amanda] Thank you. - Love you. 230 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:00,966 [laughs] What're you... 231 00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:02,801 - Putting the review in already. - [Jason laughs] 232 00:10:02,801 --> 00:10:05,371 - This guy hasn't even left the room. - One star! 233 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:08,207 Hasn't even left the room yet, wow. 234 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:11,076 - [Sean] Um... - Wow, what a hit got off that cookie. 235 00:10:11,076 --> 00:10:12,645 [Sean] You've got to pace yourself. 236 00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:14,913 [Will] I'm on fucking fire. 237 00:10:14,913 --> 00:10:18,817 - [Sean laughs] - Fuck that sugar hit me like a fucking freight train. 238 00:10:18,817 --> 00:10:20,553 - How many of those cookies did you put down? - [Will] I had one. 239 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:21,987 And I want two so badly. 240 00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:24,490 - [Jason] One pull. - I'm gonna be in tears. 241 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:26,325 You see what I mean? This is what I'm talking about. 242 00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:28,127 Now you're having self-loathing. 243 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,628 - It's a vicious spiral. - No, I'm just... I'm just... 244 00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:31,397 - Hey, does anybody-- - Move on and you go through it. 245 00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:34,467 - [Amanda] We'll talk about it. - You... You get better at moving on. 246 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,968 - [Amanda] We'll talk about it later. - Like an, I don't know, 247 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:38,137 Fucking moron. 248 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:42,941 Holy fuck do you need to have everything explained all the time? 249 00:10:42,941 --> 00:10:44,210 [both laughing] 250 00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:47,112 [Will] He ignited something in me. 251 00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:50,283 He ignites something. He lights my pilot light 252 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,017 - and then it's going. - Did you touch... Did you touch this? 253 00:10:52,017 --> 00:10:53,352 [Will] I didn't touch it. 254 00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:54,453 - I coughed in it. - Being paranoid. 255 00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:56,622 [both laugh] 256 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,424 [Sean] Will, listen to me loud and clear, 257 00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:02,595 you have an hour to nap before... before too-- 258 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,197 I know I gotta go to bed, I gotta go to bed. 259 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,765 [Amanda] Can you really go to sleep on all that sugar? 260 00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:08,667 Yeah, I'm gonna crash out for 20 minutes. 261 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,035 And then do you take another shower? 262 00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:11,937 [both laughing] 263 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:13,539 [Amanda and Jason laugh] 264 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:16,942 [Jason] Oh. [laughs] 265 00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:18,711 Wait, that was a serious question. 266 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:19,912 [laughs] 267 00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:21,614 [laughs raucously] 268 00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:24,850 No. 269 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,452 How do you wake up without a shower? 270 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:27,420 [Will laughs] 271 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,622 You're obsessed! 272 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,391 [Will] See what I mean? 273 00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,126 - He thought he was-- - [laughs] You're obse-- 274 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,094 I go pee. "Do you take a shower?" 275 00:11:36,094 --> 00:11:38,231 [laughs] 276 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,799 - I'll have, like, a bite of, like a cookie. - Amanda. 277 00:11:40,799 --> 00:11:42,568 -"Did you take a shower?" - What're you gonna do? 278 00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:45,238 He's Howard Hughes. He is Howard Hughes. 279 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:48,040 You married Howard Hughes with no money. 280 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,675 [both laughing] 281 00:11:50,409 --> 00:11:51,910 [Will] Why? 282 00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,846 It was the only good thing about him. 283 00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:55,681 [Sean] Oh, my god. 284 00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:58,384 Fuck me. Fuck me. 285 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,085 [laughs] 286 00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,021 I gotta sleep. 287 00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:29,114 Will, are you sending back old clothes? 288 00:12:29,848 --> 00:12:31,016 [Will] Yup. 289 00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:32,418 - Sure am. - [Amanda] Smart. 290 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,519 Let me see. 291 00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:34,620 'Kay. So this had to come down. 292 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,021 - No, let me do it. Let me see. - That's coming down. 293 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,390 It's just supposed to be like this. 294 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:38,691 Just a normal sweater. 295 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,058 - Here. - But then the tuck in? 296 00:12:40,058 --> 00:12:40,926 - No. Well... - No. 297 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,663 - I gotta untuck it. - Yeah. 298 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:45,998 Just untuck it, okay. 299 00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,100 There, that's how it is, just normal. This is so cute. 300 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,406 [Sean] I'm so bummed we didn't get to see Boston, really. 301 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:57,910 'Cause of the weather and logistics and everything. 302 00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,512 But it looks pretty cool. 303 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,547 Well, next one. 304 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,215 Next one's New York. 305 00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:04,650 That'll be fun. 306 00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:06,352 We'll walk around and... 307 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,021 ...enjoy each other's company some more. 308 00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:12,057 Been a really successful... 309 00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:14,059 Uh. 310 00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:18,030 ...tour so far, emotionally. 311 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,998 [Amanda] Oh, but you think it has too much style? I like it. 312 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,469 I mean, there's a lotta color, a lotta zippers. 313 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,970 And I don't really care what Arnett says. 314 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,705 But is that what you're worried about? 315 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:30,208 Well, not worried so much as anticipating. 316 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:34,347 [Sean] Wow. One show, by the way. 317 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,081 We've done one fucking show. 318 00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:40,553 [Jason] If for some reason we ever get a guest 319 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,521 that decides to flake on us or something, 320 00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:44,723 we just pull somebody random out of the crowd. 321 00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:45,991 That's what somebody else said. 322 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,593 I think it's a really good idea, actually. 323 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,728 - Right? - [Will] Amanda. 324 00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:51,564 - [Amanda] Yes, sweets. - Jason just had a good idea. 325 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:52,631 [Amanda] What? 326 00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:54,467 I'm just saying can you do a press release? 327 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,535 - [Sean] Wait, Jay, we should do-- - [laughs] 328 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,904 [Sean] We should do that anyway. 329 00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:01,507 Oh, 'cause the... the big good ideas are few and far between. 330 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,442 Oof. 331 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,912 Um, all right, this me doing-- 332 00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:10,282 He can't even... He can't even follow the thread and thought of his own idea. 333 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,417 - Did you see that? - [Amanda] No, he can't. 334 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,118 He's already... He's so ADD. 335 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,820 - [Sean] It was a solid idea. - You had an idea, you put it up 336 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,922 and then you just let it go and you walked away from it. 337 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,791 - We gotta go. - [Jason] Why? 338 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,158 Aren't we leaving at 4 o'clock? 339 00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,126 - [both] Yes. - We have to leave right now. 340 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:22,761 - Yes. - We have to go down right now. 341 00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,062 - 'Kay. - [Jason] One quick thing 342 00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:26,565 I have to digitally sign a check before we leave here. 343 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:27,933 This takes two seconds. 344 00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,468 [Sean] How long have you guys been married? 345 00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:31,404 - I mean together, not, like, you're married. - We've been together 22 years. 346 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,138 - 22 years. Isn't that amazing. - But married 20. 347 00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:35,441 - Yeah. - And I haven't seen another naked man in 22 years. 348 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,609 - You want to? - Nope. 349 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,143 - All right. Your loss. - Nope. Nope. 350 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:44,917 [Will] One man with the exterior of a human. 351 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,118 [Amanda] Can I help you? It's not a great look. 352 00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,486 [Will] He has infiltrated. 353 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:48,654 - [Amanda] Oh, you're gonna drag them? - [man] Yes. 354 00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:50,055 No one knows his secret. 355 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,827 That underneath the artificial flesh and bone... 356 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,664 ...he is machine. 357 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:00,232 Nothing but... 358 00:15:01,299 --> 00:15:02,134 ...machine. 359 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,171 - [Amanda] Just sign what you need to sign. - Okay, I did it. 360 00:15:10,131 --> 00:15:11,599 Fuck, it's icy, huh? 361 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,703 - Yikes. - [Sean] It's nice, nice baby. 362 00:15:15,703 --> 00:15:19,574 [Will singing opening riff to "Ice Ice Baby"] 363 00:15:19,574 --> 00:15:21,276 - Doing the Ice Ice dance. - Yeah. 364 00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:24,412 Just gonna... I hate to have to make the announcement 365 00:15:24,412 --> 00:15:26,214 that Sean can't be here 'cause of a bit. 366 00:15:26,214 --> 00:15:28,516 - 'Cause of... 'Cause of ice... 'Cause of a Vanilla Ice bit. - Mmm-hmm. 367 00:15:28,516 --> 00:15:30,185 Look at all the zippers! 368 00:15:30,185 --> 00:15:31,052 I'm like a... 369 00:15:31,752 --> 00:15:32,888 Hair is fluffy. 370 00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:35,156 The matching bag is what's killing me. 371 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:37,893 [Will] Hey, it's Indy. 372 00:15:38,559 --> 00:15:39,760 [Jason] See? 373 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,229 - [Amanda] You know what? I packed the wrong-- - I like it. 374 00:15:41,229 --> 00:15:42,898 - [Jason] I can't be responsible-- - [Amanda] Will. 375 00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:44,532 - I packed the wrong coat. - [Jason] ...for the matching bag and the matching jacket. 376 00:15:44,532 --> 00:15:45,901 - I like it. - [Amanda] Is that the one-- 377 00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,068 - You know I like it. - [Sean] Can I have one of those mints? 378 00:15:47,068 --> 00:15:47,969 [Jason] Yeah. Yeah. 379 00:15:47,969 --> 00:15:48,904 You know I like it. 380 00:15:52,307 --> 00:15:54,642 Okay, ready guys? One, two. Willy. 381 00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:57,412 - One, two. Wait. - [camera clicks] 382 00:15:57,412 --> 00:15:59,180 Wait, wait. 383 00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:01,950 - Two, three. - [camera clicks] 384 00:16:01,950 --> 00:16:05,020 [Jason] We are an hour and a half away from another interview, great. 385 00:16:06,221 --> 00:16:08,556 - I always forget we got to do the actual show. - I know. 386 00:16:12,227 --> 00:16:15,730 I thought that we weren't going to or shouldn't 387 00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:17,532 really, kind of engage with the audience. 388 00:16:17,532 --> 00:16:21,069 It turned out that it's okay for these to be totally different 389 00:16:21,069 --> 00:16:22,637 than our regular podcast. 390 00:16:22,637 --> 00:16:23,804 - Yeah. - And they kind of have to be. 391 00:16:23,804 --> 00:16:24,805 Right. Got it. 392 00:16:24,805 --> 00:16:26,041 And I think they enjoy that. 393 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,375 - Yeah. - And it's nice. 394 00:16:28,543 --> 00:16:31,212 Although having said that, tonight could be a complete... 395 00:16:31,212 --> 00:16:33,381 ...snooze fest from an audience standpoint. 396 00:16:33,381 --> 00:16:35,550 And then we just make it more insular. 397 00:16:36,284 --> 00:16:37,552 - Yeah. - Like our... 398 00:16:37,552 --> 00:16:38,819 Yeah, you feel the audience. 399 00:16:38,819 --> 00:16:41,556 It's like, one of these out of the ten shows we're doing, 400 00:16:41,556 --> 00:16:43,591 is gonna be like doing to matinee. 401 00:16:43,591 --> 00:16:46,027 Right, I mean nothing... nothing's gonna be as energetic 402 00:16:46,027 --> 00:16:49,164 as Will Ferrell coming out in a powder blue tuxedo smoking a cigarette. 403 00:16:49,164 --> 00:16:50,098 No. 404 00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:53,601 Yeah, man. 405 00:16:54,702 --> 00:16:56,104 [fans speaking indistinctly] 406 00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,440 - [man 1] Thank you very much. - [Jason] You got it. 407 00:17:02,010 --> 00:17:03,178 [man 2] Thank you for taking the time. 408 00:17:03,178 --> 00:17:04,412 [Jason] There you go, you got it guys. 409 00:17:04,412 --> 00:17:05,813 - Thank you, brother. - [Jason] Go get warm. 410 00:17:05,813 --> 00:17:07,215 - [man 3] Have a good one. - [Jason] All right, see you later. 411 00:17:10,151 --> 00:17:11,486 - Hi! - [crewman] How are you today? 412 00:17:11,486 --> 00:17:12,420 [Jason] Good, sir, how are you? 413 00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,488 [crewman] Living the dream. 414 00:17:13,488 --> 00:17:14,389 [Jason laughs] 415 00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:16,891 [Sean] Ooh, there's a piano. 416 00:17:18,026 --> 00:17:19,527 I'm gonna go play. 417 00:17:19,527 --> 00:17:20,495 [Will] Hey, um, Marguerite? 418 00:17:21,696 --> 00:17:24,099 I'm just checking: so, Conan's first, right? 419 00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:25,133 - [Marguerite] Yes. - [Will] Yeah, yeah. 420 00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,103 And he's here and... 421 00:17:28,103 --> 00:17:29,470 - [Marguerite] He's here. - [Will] Right. 422 00:17:29,470 --> 00:17:30,738 [piano playing] 423 00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:38,146 - And the oboes. - [plays piano quietly and somberly] 424 00:17:38,146 --> 00:17:39,480 - And then the piano. - [plays piano brightly] 425 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:40,681 - Yeah. - Oboes. 426 00:17:40,681 --> 00:17:41,649 [plays piano somberly] 427 00:17:41,649 --> 00:17:43,218 [plays piano brightly] 428 00:17:43,218 --> 00:17:44,085 [continues playing] 429 00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:56,531 - [Will] Where are the boys? - [Amanda] They found a piano. 430 00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:58,033 - So I'm comin' to tell ya. - Oh. 431 00:18:00,135 --> 00:18:02,137 - [happy piano melody] - It takes me to a place that, like... 432 00:18:02,137 --> 00:18:03,571 You love it? 433 00:18:03,571 --> 00:18:05,240 - Yeah. - What do you love about it? 434 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:12,680 Classical music takes me into my smallest... 435 00:18:14,115 --> 00:18:15,950 ...most intimate, private... 436 00:18:17,585 --> 00:18:18,686 ...most centered place. 437 00:18:19,254 --> 00:18:20,121 I love it too. 438 00:18:20,121 --> 00:18:21,689 [piano playing continues] 439 00:18:23,358 --> 00:18:24,959 It's a little bit of a time machine, 440 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:27,328 because it's exactly what they were hearing back then. 441 00:18:27,328 --> 00:18:28,263 That... That's it. 442 00:18:28,263 --> 00:18:29,430 [Jason] That was a concert. 443 00:18:34,435 --> 00:18:35,336 Slam it shut! 444 00:18:35,336 --> 00:18:36,671 - [laughs] - [piano lid slams] 445 00:18:40,941 --> 00:18:42,143 [people speaking indistinctly in background] 446 00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:43,478 Look at... [laughs] 447 00:18:44,312 --> 00:18:45,813 She's the best! 448 00:18:45,813 --> 00:18:48,849 [Will] ♪ She's simply the best ♪ 449 00:18:48,849 --> 00:18:49,817 [Jason] Just in case. 450 00:18:49,817 --> 00:18:53,854 ♪ Better than all the rest ♪ 451 00:18:54,889 --> 00:18:57,658 ♪ Better than anyone ♪ 452 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,667 Okay, good. 453 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,104 This is fine. I... I look like a politician. 454 00:19:13,474 --> 00:19:14,575 [whispers] Everybody's shutting down. 455 00:19:18,446 --> 00:19:19,414 Is everybody okay? 456 00:19:21,582 --> 00:19:22,650 My guest, uh... 457 00:19:24,385 --> 00:19:25,620 [Sean] Are you chatting now? 458 00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:27,155 - Really could go one of two ways tonight. - [Sean laughs] 459 00:19:27,622 --> 00:19:28,523 [Amanda] Go home. 460 00:19:28,523 --> 00:19:29,390 Really? 461 00:19:30,991 --> 00:19:32,227 - [Jason] Mmm-hmm. - [farts] 462 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:33,861 [chuckles] 463 00:19:33,861 --> 00:19:34,795 Wow. 464 00:19:34,795 --> 00:19:36,931 I think someone needs to take a shower. 465 00:19:36,931 --> 00:19:38,633 Drive him to the hospital. 466 00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:40,601 - [Sean] If that smells... - It doesn't! 467 00:19:41,269 --> 00:19:42,137 [laughs] 468 00:19:51,735 --> 00:19:53,470 - [Will] Hi, buddy! - [Conan] Good to see ya! 469 00:19:53,571 --> 00:19:55,472 [Will] So bummed that we gotta keep you, like, over here 470 00:19:55,573 --> 00:19:56,506 and not fucking around with us, 471 00:19:56,506 --> 00:19:56,574 and not fucking around with us, but the boys don't know that you're here. 472 00:19:56,574 --> 00:19:57,474 but the boys don't know that you're here. 473 00:19:57,474 --> 00:19:59,777 You know what's ingenious about this 474 00:19:59,777 --> 00:20:02,312 "They have no idea" is also code for... 475 00:20:02,312 --> 00:20:03,914 - ...they don't have to do any homework. - Of course. 476 00:20:04,982 --> 00:20:06,316 - Of course, built in. - And I... 477 00:20:06,316 --> 00:20:08,018 I realized that right away. 478 00:20:08,018 --> 00:20:09,553 I was like, "This is kinda sus-- 479 00:20:10,487 --> 00:20:11,655 -"Oh." - That's why. 480 00:20:11,655 --> 00:20:12,990 - So. - Yeah. 481 00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,057 Like. 482 00:20:14,057 --> 00:20:15,392 - We don't have to do anything. - Yeah. 483 00:20:15,392 --> 00:20:17,460 When it's not your guest you're like, "All right", just show up. 484 00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:18,328 [Sean] Hello. 485 00:20:19,262 --> 00:20:20,463 [woman on phone] Hi, turd buster! 486 00:20:20,463 --> 00:20:21,665 [Sean] Hi, turd buster! 487 00:20:21,665 --> 00:20:22,666 [woman] Fuck you. 488 00:20:22,666 --> 00:20:23,967 - [laughs] - [woman] Fuck you! 489 00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:25,335 Where are you? Are you in Boston? 490 00:20:25,335 --> 00:20:26,536 [laughs] 491 00:20:26,536 --> 00:20:27,470 - I'm in-- - [woman] Fuck you! 492 00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:29,239 I'm in Boston. 493 00:20:29,239 --> 00:20:31,174 That's my hometown. Do you see me? 494 00:20:31,174 --> 00:20:34,244 I do. Give me a good Boston accent. 495 00:20:34,244 --> 00:20:35,646 Yeah, fuck you, motherfucker. 496 00:20:35,646 --> 00:20:37,581 Yeah, that's gonna be wicked-awesome tonight. 497 00:20:37,581 --> 00:20:40,150 You're gonna fuckin' perform your ass off, you motherfucker, 498 00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:41,685 then you'll go get a soda. 499 00:20:43,286 --> 00:20:45,222 [Will] But we were talking after the show the other night 500 00:20:45,222 --> 00:20:46,724 and we were all singing your praises 501 00:20:46,724 --> 00:20:48,325 and talking about how much you make us laugh, 502 00:20:48,325 --> 00:20:49,860 - all of us at the table. Yeah. - Oh, that's nice. 503 00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:50,994 And-- and-- 504 00:20:50,994 --> 00:20:54,264 Did Will stop it and go, "Uh, not so much." 505 00:20:54,264 --> 00:20:57,300 No, the guy who was delivering the room service did. 506 00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:58,235 He didn't say any-- 507 00:20:58,235 --> 00:20:59,837 and he finally piped in and he goes, 508 00:20:59,837 --> 00:21:02,172 "He's not for me. He's not for me." 509 00:21:03,373 --> 00:21:04,775 No, we were talking about how much we love you 510 00:21:04,775 --> 00:21:07,110 and how hilarious you are. And will was gushing. 511 00:21:07,110 --> 00:21:08,445 And then the boys were-- 512 00:21:08,445 --> 00:21:11,081 And I was like thinking like, "Oh, they have no idea 513 00:21:11,081 --> 00:21:13,150 that you're-- that we're coming here--" Yeah. 514 00:21:13,150 --> 00:21:14,417 To your hometown, 515 00:21:14,417 --> 00:21:16,453 and that we're gonna embarrass you in front of your hometown. 516 00:21:16,453 --> 00:21:17,921 Yes, right. Beantown. 517 00:21:17,921 --> 00:21:19,322 - Yeah. - You ever heard of that? 518 00:21:19,322 --> 00:21:20,390 [laughing] No. No. 519 00:21:26,296 --> 00:21:27,530 What you're witnessing here is 520 00:21:27,530 --> 00:21:29,432 the extent of my preparation. 521 00:21:29,432 --> 00:21:33,336 This is basically highlighting stuff off of their Wikipedia page. 522 00:21:33,336 --> 00:21:35,706 - But is this the second show? - Yeah. 523 00:21:35,706 --> 00:21:37,975 So, uh, uh... yeah. 524 00:21:37,975 --> 00:21:39,877 - Half an hour. - I just come out. I got nothin'. 525 00:21:39,877 --> 00:21:40,944 You get nothing. Nothing. 526 00:21:40,944 --> 00:21:43,146 I'll just play with the energy of a crowd 527 00:21:43,146 --> 00:21:44,447 that's really wet and cold. 528 00:21:44,447 --> 00:21:46,684 [laughs] We're gonna-- We're gonna-- 529 00:21:46,684 --> 00:21:49,119 You're gonna have to save this sinking ship when you come out. 530 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:50,287 Put it that way. 531 00:21:50,287 --> 00:21:53,523 Okay, 'cause we're gonna lose 'em instantly. 532 00:21:53,523 --> 00:21:55,225 Bateman is an audience repellant. 533 00:21:55,225 --> 00:21:57,527 - Yes! That's what I've heard. - You know. 534 00:21:57,527 --> 00:22:00,230 All right. I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette. 535 00:22:00,230 --> 00:22:02,365 [in British accent] Gonna have a ciggy? 536 00:22:02,365 --> 00:22:05,268 'Ello, 'ello, a little ciggy? 537 00:22:05,268 --> 00:22:06,303 I-- Here's my one-- 538 00:22:06,303 --> 00:22:07,504 ♪ That's the one, "posh" ♪ 539 00:22:07,504 --> 00:22:10,140 ♪ Traveling nights And traveling nice for me ♪ 540 00:22:10,140 --> 00:22:12,075 ♪ First stabbin' Captain's quarters ♪ 541 00:22:12,075 --> 00:22:13,744 ♪ Real company, hey! ♪ 542 00:22:13,744 --> 00:22:15,378 ♪ Fall out Start 'er down ♪ 543 00:22:15,378 --> 00:22:17,948 ♪ Posh, with a capital "P" O-S-H ♪ 544 00:22:17,948 --> 00:22:18,949 ♪ "Posh" ♪ 545 00:22:18,949 --> 00:22:20,183 That's killer. That's my opener. 546 00:22:20,183 --> 00:22:22,452 You know, it's good. Just with regards to your characters, 547 00:22:22,452 --> 00:22:24,487 maybe just a few less characters 548 00:22:24,487 --> 00:22:26,256 - when you come on. -"Less." 549 00:22:26,256 --> 00:22:27,590 Okay. 550 00:22:27,590 --> 00:22:29,159 I'm just gonna get in this. 551 00:22:29,159 --> 00:22:30,928 [laughing] No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 552 00:22:30,928 --> 00:22:31,895 Don't-- And by the way, 553 00:22:31,895 --> 00:22:33,797 and don't take it the wrong way. 554 00:22:33,797 --> 00:22:36,133 [laughing] 555 00:22:36,133 --> 00:22:38,268 - All right... - Hey. Let's kill it out there. 556 00:22:38,268 --> 00:22:39,469 Kill it. 557 00:22:40,437 --> 00:22:41,972 [mouthing] Fuck you. 558 00:22:45,776 --> 00:22:47,010 [Jason] Should we turn on the house lights? 559 00:22:47,010 --> 00:22:49,579 - I wanna see like all these people. - Yeah, just for a second. 560 00:22:49,579 --> 00:22:52,415 - Wow! Boston! - [audience cheering] 561 00:22:52,415 --> 00:22:53,383 What? 562 00:22:54,117 --> 00:22:55,618 Hi, everybody! 563 00:22:57,220 --> 00:22:58,956 [Jason] Thank you for coming. Wow. 564 00:23:01,624 --> 00:23:04,561 Last night, Will made us all cry so hard 565 00:23:04,561 --> 00:23:06,396 because we were eating sushi 566 00:23:06,396 --> 00:23:08,265 - and he-- - [laughs] Oh, yeah. 567 00:23:08,265 --> 00:23:09,767 - And I kept saying-- - It's so dumb. 568 00:23:09,767 --> 00:23:12,369 - It's so dumb. - It's the greatest dad joke ever. 569 00:23:12,369 --> 00:23:15,438 And I kept saying I didn't have time to make dinner tonight 570 00:23:15,438 --> 00:23:17,908 so I ordered Japanese. 571 00:23:17,908 --> 00:23:19,576 Sashimi. 572 00:23:19,576 --> 00:23:21,678 [all laughing] 573 00:23:21,779 --> 00:23:22,846 Not a great delivery. 574 00:23:22,846 --> 00:23:23,881 Sashimi. 575 00:23:26,216 --> 00:23:28,685 I imagine there our guest is gonna try to work it in 576 00:23:28,786 --> 00:23:31,789 because our guest really likes to work in bits 577 00:23:31,789 --> 00:23:33,891 and that sometimes the bits get pretty sweaty. 578 00:23:33,891 --> 00:23:35,959 Is this person specific to Boston? 579 00:23:35,959 --> 00:23:37,928 This person is from Boston. 580 00:23:37,928 --> 00:23:40,898 [audience cheering] 581 00:23:42,432 --> 00:23:44,534 Is it like a sports person? 582 00:23:44,534 --> 00:23:46,469 - Is it a-- - Yeah, I know you're holding you don't like sports. 583 00:23:46,469 --> 00:23:49,572 But, recently, you've started to enjoy football. 584 00:23:49,572 --> 00:23:50,941 Oh, my God, I love football. 585 00:23:50,941 --> 00:23:52,876 - There we go. - Yeah. 586 00:23:52,876 --> 00:23:55,312 I watch it and I'm like blown away 587 00:23:55,312 --> 00:23:58,949 by the science of the guy throwing the ball 588 00:23:58,949 --> 00:24:01,819 and timing it and the guy catching it. 589 00:24:01,819 --> 00:24:03,520 It's like who can do that? 590 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,654 What do you mean, "Who can do that?" 591 00:24:04,654 --> 00:24:06,189 - Lots of people can do that. - I know, but-- 592 00:24:06,189 --> 00:24:08,558 Do you know-- Hang on. Check this out. 593 00:24:08,558 --> 00:24:12,462 Do you know the really famous quarterback that played for the Patriots? 594 00:24:12,462 --> 00:24:14,197 Okay, well, now you're making me look-- 595 00:24:14,197 --> 00:24:17,034 No, no, no. Watch this. Watch this. No clue. 596 00:24:17,034 --> 00:24:18,902 - Wait a minute. Uh... - Oh, boy. 597 00:24:18,902 --> 00:24:21,004 - Give me the first-- - First name, Tom. 598 00:24:21,004 --> 00:24:22,405 - Brady! - Hoo. 599 00:24:22,405 --> 00:24:24,507 [audience cheering] 600 00:24:24,507 --> 00:24:26,376 Oh, wow! 601 00:24:26,376 --> 00:24:27,845 Is that our guest? 602 00:24:27,845 --> 00:24:30,047 Our guest is not Tom Brady. 603 00:24:30,047 --> 00:24:33,350 Our guest is like the opposite of Tom Brady. 604 00:24:34,284 --> 00:24:37,320 This person is a clown. 605 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,521 A clown? 606 00:24:38,521 --> 00:24:41,258 This person has lived in many cities after Boston. 607 00:24:41,258 --> 00:24:43,526 This person lived in Chicago. 608 00:24:43,526 --> 00:24:45,863 Worked in California. 609 00:24:45,863 --> 00:24:47,664 - Wrote on The Simpsons-- - Conan? 610 00:24:47,664 --> 00:24:48,731 Wrote on Saturday Night Live... 611 00:24:48,731 --> 00:24:50,333 - No way! - ...Mr. Conan O'Brien! 612 00:24:50,333 --> 00:24:52,035 [all cheering] 613 00:25:04,181 --> 00:25:07,617 What kind of show business are you running 614 00:25:07,617 --> 00:25:09,752 where you tell a Boston crowd 615 00:25:09,752 --> 00:25:11,654 it may be Tom Brady? 616 00:25:15,125 --> 00:25:16,359 And I'm backstage, 617 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,162 and my dick goes up inside my body. 618 00:25:19,162 --> 00:25:20,763 Even further? 619 00:25:20,763 --> 00:25:22,132 Further! 620 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,636 Further than it already was! 621 00:25:26,636 --> 00:25:29,606 I'm backstage like, "What?" And the crowd's like, "Yes!" 622 00:25:29,606 --> 00:25:32,642 The greatest Boston Sports hero of all time, you guys. 623 00:25:32,642 --> 00:25:34,711 He's like, "No. 624 00:25:36,013 --> 00:25:37,347 Not him. 625 00:25:38,215 --> 00:25:40,183 Kind of the opposite." 626 00:25:40,183 --> 00:25:42,119 [Sean] You know, I would like to know, 627 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,555 as we spoke during the last two years during the pandemic, 628 00:25:45,555 --> 00:25:47,958 you chose to do something a little different with your hair 629 00:25:47,958 --> 00:25:50,160 and now you're going back to the original... 630 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,729 - That's a great place to start. - No, it goes back and forth. 631 00:25:52,729 --> 00:25:54,932 No, no. I don't know what it looks like 632 00:25:54,932 --> 00:25:58,135 because it is raining ice outside. 633 00:25:58,135 --> 00:25:59,402 Yeah. 634 00:25:59,402 --> 00:26:03,440 And, uh, this podcast doesn't spend a lot of dough. 635 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,675 - [audience laughing] - Wow. 636 00:26:06,609 --> 00:26:08,145 We got you an umbrella, didn't we? 637 00:26:08,145 --> 00:26:10,247 No, no, no. You sent me half an umbrella. 638 00:26:11,481 --> 00:26:13,216 Jason, your resting stance 639 00:26:13,216 --> 00:26:15,218 is to have your hand on your dick. 640 00:26:15,218 --> 00:26:17,420 - No! It's cold outside. - I swear to God, 641 00:26:17,420 --> 00:26:20,290 it's looking at me. If I was on the subway, 642 00:26:20,290 --> 00:26:22,759 and you were sitting opposite me and doing that, 643 00:26:22,759 --> 00:26:24,194 I would call the police. 644 00:26:26,163 --> 00:26:27,230 He's like this. 645 00:26:27,230 --> 00:26:29,266 "Hey, what's going on with your hair? 646 00:26:31,134 --> 00:26:32,602 What's with your hair, buddy?" 647 00:26:34,804 --> 00:26:36,339 How do you-- why did you put up with that? 648 00:26:36,339 --> 00:26:37,474 I don't mind that. 649 00:26:37,474 --> 00:26:38,341 [Jason] There we go. 650 00:26:42,279 --> 00:26:44,014 The first thing I wanna get to, 651 00:26:44,014 --> 00:26:45,782 and this is a bit of a touchy subject, 652 00:26:45,782 --> 00:26:47,817 your Christmas party, you didn't invite Bateman. 653 00:26:47,817 --> 00:26:49,786 Oh, yeah, let's get into this. 654 00:26:49,786 --> 00:26:51,621 So Jimmy and I were there at your party 655 00:26:51,621 --> 00:26:54,757 and then we went over to our other friend's after, 656 00:26:54,757 --> 00:26:57,327 and Bateman's like, "Why are you guys so late?" 657 00:26:57,327 --> 00:26:59,029 And I said, "Oh, we were at Conan's." 658 00:26:59,029 --> 00:27:00,763 "Oh, you were at Conan's Christmas party? 659 00:27:00,763 --> 00:27:02,432 And, what, my phone number doesn't work?" 660 00:27:02,432 --> 00:27:05,535 Yeah. Everybody at this other party 661 00:27:05,535 --> 00:27:08,671 was either fresh from your party 662 00:27:08,671 --> 00:27:10,507 or set to leave for your party. 663 00:27:10,507 --> 00:27:12,542 - Everybody. - I can explain to you 664 00:27:12,542 --> 00:27:14,544 - in one quick gesture. - There were 400 people. 665 00:27:14,544 --> 00:27:16,846 Yeah. There's one-- 666 00:27:16,846 --> 00:27:18,548 This is all so real. 667 00:27:18,548 --> 00:27:23,286 There is a very simple reason why you have not been invited to my Christmas party 668 00:27:23,286 --> 00:27:26,789 and why you will never be invited to my Christmas party. 669 00:27:27,790 --> 00:27:30,693 And that's that you came to my house one time-- 670 00:27:30,693 --> 00:27:32,529 - No. - And you sat down-- Yes, you did. 671 00:27:32,529 --> 00:27:34,564 And you planted yourself in the corner... 672 00:27:35,098 --> 00:27:38,301 [audience laughing] 673 00:27:38,301 --> 00:27:39,636 ...hand on cock. 674 00:27:42,072 --> 00:27:43,440 [Sean] Wait. I wanna ask you something, 675 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,309 because you've been so successful at being 676 00:27:46,309 --> 00:27:49,279 one of the funniest, if not, they funniest host of all time. 677 00:27:49,279 --> 00:27:52,149 And I think-- and, um... 678 00:27:52,149 --> 00:27:53,783 - No, no, no. - Yeah. 679 00:27:55,352 --> 00:27:57,687 Even the best audio editor in the world 680 00:27:57,687 --> 00:27:59,722 can't fix that gap... 681 00:27:59,722 --> 00:28:02,192 [all laughing] 682 00:28:02,192 --> 00:28:03,626 ...between what Sean said 683 00:28:03,626 --> 00:28:07,664 and an entire Wang Center filled with Bostonians going, 684 00:28:07,664 --> 00:28:09,899 "Mmm... yeah..." 685 00:28:12,069 --> 00:28:14,637 What is it about hosting and interviewing people? 686 00:28:14,637 --> 00:28:16,739 Have you ever gotten tired of just like, ay, ay, ay, 687 00:28:16,739 --> 00:28:19,542 - the forum of-- Yeah. - Interviewing. 688 00:28:19,542 --> 00:28:22,979 I find this to be, uh, really fun. 689 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,514 When I leave a stage like this, 690 00:28:24,514 --> 00:28:26,349 I'll think this tonight the first thing I leave, 691 00:28:26,349 --> 00:28:28,251 A, I'll think, "I was not paid." 692 00:28:30,187 --> 00:28:32,322 Uh, but I will-- I-- 693 00:28:32,322 --> 00:28:35,092 The thing I will think about when I leave is 694 00:28:35,092 --> 00:28:36,359 "This is not a job." 695 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,495 You know, you find three people, 696 00:28:38,495 --> 00:28:41,564 any one of whom I'd be delighted to hang out with 697 00:28:41,564 --> 00:28:42,899 and screw around with. 698 00:28:42,899 --> 00:28:44,567 - This is how we-- - But only invite two to a party. 699 00:28:44,567 --> 00:28:45,935 Well... 700 00:28:48,138 --> 00:28:51,608 Hand off cock, and maybe... 701 00:28:51,608 --> 00:28:53,676 the invitations start to flow. Um... 702 00:28:53,676 --> 00:28:56,546 But was there ever a point where it did feel laborious 703 00:28:56,546 --> 00:28:57,947 - and you're like-- Yeah. - Yes. 704 00:28:57,947 --> 00:28:59,116 Um... 705 00:28:59,116 --> 00:29:00,550 a little bit right there. Uh... 706 00:29:03,186 --> 00:29:05,822 So, what do you say the ratio is 707 00:29:05,822 --> 00:29:08,258 between guests that stick to the questions, 708 00:29:08,258 --> 00:29:10,660 because of their comfort level or lack of conversation skills-- 709 00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:13,663 'Cause for-- for Tracey, um, 710 00:29:13,663 --> 00:29:14,764 when-- when, um-- 711 00:29:14,764 --> 00:29:16,399 Yeah, let's hear it for Tracey. 712 00:29:18,701 --> 00:29:21,171 We are, just as a quick sideline, 713 00:29:21,171 --> 00:29:23,306 we are going to see Tracey soon, aren't we? 714 00:29:23,306 --> 00:29:24,974 - Yeah, we're gonna see Tracey next week. - We're really excited 715 00:29:24,974 --> 00:29:26,976 - we're gonna see Tracey. - And for those who don't know, 716 00:29:26,976 --> 00:29:28,511 Tracey is Sean's sister 717 00:29:28,511 --> 00:29:29,812 who doesn't know a lot about the business, 718 00:29:29,812 --> 00:29:31,448 and so we always have to do an aside-- 719 00:29:31,448 --> 00:29:32,815 Oh, wait, well, now we're doing for people 720 00:29:32,815 --> 00:29:35,152 - who don't know who Tracey... - Yeah. Exact. 721 00:29:35,152 --> 00:29:38,188 This got so fucking meta, man. 722 00:29:38,188 --> 00:29:39,289 - [Jason] So, um... - [Will] Wow. So, anyway. 723 00:29:39,289 --> 00:29:41,524 So, there, so you-- you usually, um, 724 00:29:41,524 --> 00:29:43,460 you don't predetermine how the interview's gonna go-- 725 00:29:43,460 --> 00:29:45,027 Can I ask a question? You guys, famously, 726 00:29:45,027 --> 00:29:47,230 and it's a brilliant idea and I'm a big fan of the show, 727 00:29:47,230 --> 00:29:49,031 uh, two of you never know who the guest is 728 00:29:49,031 --> 00:29:50,200 so you're not prepared... 729 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,701 - Correct. - ...have you ever been talking to someone 730 00:29:51,701 --> 00:29:53,836 and you just didn't even know who they were? 731 00:29:53,836 --> 00:29:54,904 Yes. 732 00:29:54,904 --> 00:29:56,072 Who? 733 00:29:56,173 --> 00:29:57,740 Well, I don't wanna say. 734 00:29:59,075 --> 00:29:59,976 That's hilarious. 735 00:29:59,976 --> 00:30:02,545 Grandma doesn't really know a lot. 736 00:30:02,545 --> 00:30:03,613 [Sean laughing] 737 00:30:03,613 --> 00:30:07,016 Well, we're on Zoom when we do it, as you know, 738 00:30:07,016 --> 00:30:10,820 and so there's been like a couple times in the last two years 739 00:30:10,820 --> 00:30:12,489 - that I didn't know who the person was-- - How many times? 740 00:30:12,489 --> 00:30:13,590 Maybe like ten. 741 00:30:13,590 --> 00:30:14,691 And the-- 742 00:30:14,691 --> 00:30:17,227 And so the person will show up 743 00:30:17,227 --> 00:30:18,328 on-- you know, and they'll be like, 744 00:30:18,328 --> 00:30:19,762 Jason or Will will be like, "And it's..." so-and-so! 745 00:30:19,762 --> 00:30:20,930 I'm like, "Oh, my gosh!" 746 00:30:20,930 --> 00:30:22,399 And I'd google immediately. 747 00:30:22,399 --> 00:30:24,066 And you could hear the typing. 748 00:30:27,237 --> 00:30:28,705 [soft piano music playing] 749 00:30:28,705 --> 00:30:30,740 [inaudible conversation] 750 00:30:46,656 --> 00:30:48,425 That was fun guys. That's a great crowd, too. 751 00:30:48,425 --> 00:30:49,792 I wish they came, but this weather... 752 00:30:49,792 --> 00:30:51,928 You're so sweet to come all the way. 753 00:30:52,929 --> 00:30:53,930 He walked, too. 754 00:30:53,930 --> 00:30:55,265 That was so good. 755 00:30:55,265 --> 00:30:56,933 - That was so good. - Yeah, that was great. 756 00:30:56,933 --> 00:30:58,468 [Sean] This is only our second show. 757 00:30:58,468 --> 00:30:59,769 We gotta do another one. 758 00:30:59,769 --> 00:31:01,438 - Who's next? - [Jason] I can't tell you. 759 00:31:01,438 --> 00:31:03,005 - Oh, you can't. Oh, right! - [Will] I don't know. 760 00:31:03,005 --> 00:31:04,374 My message to you guys, 761 00:31:04,374 --> 00:31:06,376 "If it's not broke, don't fix it." 762 00:31:06,376 --> 00:31:08,311 Wait, wait. Get a pen, you guys. Somebody write that down. 763 00:31:08,311 --> 00:31:09,679 Are you for fucking real? 764 00:31:09,679 --> 00:31:11,013 - That's your fucking advice? - [Jason] Hit him. Hit him. 765 00:31:11,013 --> 00:31:12,649 Hey, thanks, Ted Lasso. 766 00:31:12,649 --> 00:31:14,617 [humming tune] 767 00:31:14,617 --> 00:31:16,386 How's your focus point? 768 00:31:16,386 --> 00:31:17,520 Your focus point skills? 769 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,055 [Sean] How long are you gonna keep doing your podcast? 770 00:31:19,055 --> 00:31:20,990 'Cause it might be nice if I came over 771 00:31:20,990 --> 00:31:23,460 and we partnered on that one. 772 00:31:23,460 --> 00:31:25,828 - And then... - You kind of let this go. 773 00:31:25,828 --> 00:31:28,064 - But then, you-- - No, no. That way, we could-- 774 00:31:28,064 --> 00:31:29,799 I don't have to split that three ways. 775 00:31:29,799 --> 00:31:31,368 We could just split this two ways. 776 00:31:31,368 --> 00:31:32,302 I see. 777 00:31:32,302 --> 00:31:33,970 Do you wanna think-- Don't answer now. 778 00:31:33,970 --> 00:31:36,739 Let's get the next guest in here. Thanks, man. 779 00:31:36,739 --> 00:31:38,741 Um... we-- 780 00:31:38,741 --> 00:31:40,477 That's show business! 781 00:31:40,477 --> 00:31:42,011 Don't you get it? 782 00:31:53,445 --> 00:31:55,080 That's comin' down in about an hour. 783 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,050 - Oh, yeah. - As soon as we go up. Oh. 784 00:31:58,050 --> 00:32:01,086 They're like, "Let's scrub this place of any..." 785 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:02,855 "Any of those guys." 786 00:32:02,855 --> 00:32:04,924 Now, with a nine o'clock audience, 787 00:32:04,924 --> 00:32:06,926 do you think these people are half in the bag? 788 00:32:07,927 --> 00:32:10,062 Oh, yeah. I didn't think about that. 789 00:32:10,562 --> 00:32:12,965 [audience cheering] 790 00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:22,041 [Sean] Wow. 791 00:32:22,574 --> 00:32:23,542 Well... 792 00:32:23,976 --> 00:32:25,845 Look at you guys! 793 00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:26,846 Wow. 794 00:32:26,846 --> 00:32:28,948 [Jason] So nice of you guys. 795 00:32:28,948 --> 00:32:30,950 I mean, it's late 796 00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:32,885 Everybody's half drunk, right? 797 00:32:32,885 --> 00:32:33,786 You guys-- 798 00:32:33,786 --> 00:32:35,220 [audience cheering] 799 00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:37,456 They had to get to dinner and get a couple of pops. 800 00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:40,760 Yeah. Nothing spreads Covid like alcohol and non-space. 801 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,628 - [Jason] Yeah. - [heckler] Use your mask! Don't take a chance! 802 00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,930 Come on, man. 803 00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:46,799 Um... 804 00:32:46,799 --> 00:32:51,203 All right, so, I wanted to tap into the brain power of this city. 805 00:32:51,203 --> 00:32:52,304 Okay? 806 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:54,807 - We got a big brain comin' out. - Uh-oh. 807 00:32:54,807 --> 00:32:59,779 This fella has a master's and a PhD from Berkeley. 808 00:32:59,779 --> 00:33:01,313 Do you-- you have an issue with this? 809 00:33:01,313 --> 00:33:03,015 No, just, we got a lot of milling around going on there. 810 00:33:03,015 --> 00:33:04,183 I just wanna-- I mean-- 811 00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:07,853 [Jason] Um, fellas, he's a Fellow at Princeton. 812 00:33:07,853 --> 00:33:09,989 He has tenure at Penn. 813 00:33:09,989 --> 00:33:13,692 He arrived here at MIT in 2004 814 00:33:13,793 --> 00:33:16,661 where he still works today. 815 00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:19,464 He does it all from physics to cosmology 816 00:33:19,464 --> 00:33:21,633 to quantum stuff in computers. 817 00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:23,068 He's gonna explain what it is-- 818 00:33:23,068 --> 00:33:24,036 Will Ferrell. 819 00:33:25,604 --> 00:33:30,075 Please welcome a guy who can definitely make us all more smart, 820 00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:31,877 not less smart-- 821 00:33:31,877 --> 00:33:33,012 Smartless, you get it? 822 00:33:33,012 --> 00:33:34,880 Max Tegmark! 823 00:33:35,514 --> 00:33:36,816 [Will] What? 824 00:33:38,217 --> 00:33:39,684 - Max! - Hey! 825 00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:41,420 - Max Tegmark! - How are you, man? 826 00:33:41,420 --> 00:33:43,022 - Such a pleasure. - Nice to meet you, sir. 827 00:33:43,022 --> 00:33:45,257 - [Will] Come on! - The pleasure is all mine. 828 00:33:45,257 --> 00:33:46,391 [Sean] This is so exciting. 829 00:33:46,391 --> 00:33:49,061 Now, can you do a better job than I just did 830 00:33:49,061 --> 00:33:51,730 of explaining what it is that you do? 831 00:33:51,831 --> 00:33:54,099 What is-- first of all, how do you introduce yourself-- 832 00:33:54,099 --> 00:33:55,901 call yourself what you do? 833 00:33:55,901 --> 00:33:57,069 Well, it depends on what I want. 834 00:33:57,069 --> 00:33:59,304 Like, if I'm on a long flight 835 00:33:59,304 --> 00:34:00,973 and I just wanna be left alone... 836 00:34:00,973 --> 00:34:02,574 - Pedophile. Oh. - Physics. 837 00:34:02,574 --> 00:34:04,643 - Right. - Then five hours of silence. 838 00:34:04,643 --> 00:34:07,112 - But you are a-- Yeah? - Whereas, if I wanna talk, 839 00:34:07,112 --> 00:34:08,848 I'd be, "Oh, astronomy." 840 00:34:08,848 --> 00:34:11,851 And they'll be like, "Oh! I'm a Virgo." 841 00:34:11,851 --> 00:34:13,518 - [Sean] Oh. Nice. - [Will] Right. 842 00:34:13,518 --> 00:34:14,920 [Max] Or maybe if I say cosmology, 843 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,956 they'll get talking about eyeliner 844 00:34:16,956 --> 00:34:19,358 - and makeup and-- - Are you really all those things? 845 00:34:19,358 --> 00:34:20,993 In a quantum superposition, 846 00:34:20,993 --> 00:34:22,962 nah, I'm really just a very curious guy 847 00:34:22,962 --> 00:34:24,864 who's very curious about big questions. 848 00:34:24,864 --> 00:34:27,299 So I've spent much of my career 849 00:34:27,299 --> 00:34:28,700 thinking about these big questions 850 00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:30,669 about our universe, kind of, out there. 851 00:34:30,669 --> 00:34:32,204 And in the last five years, 852 00:34:32,204 --> 00:34:34,539 my TV show, Scoop, has shifted entirely 853 00:34:34,539 --> 00:34:36,141 on the universe in here. 854 00:34:36,141 --> 00:34:37,943 - In here? - What's intelligence, really? 855 00:34:37,943 --> 00:34:39,711 - [Jason] I have nothing-- - Don't look in there. 856 00:34:39,711 --> 00:34:41,480 I'm dark matter. 857 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,548 You started at the wrong spot. You know what I mean? 858 00:34:43,548 --> 00:34:46,285 So in the class that you-- You don't-- Do you teach? 859 00:34:46,285 --> 00:34:47,486 Oh, yeah, I'm glad to be. 860 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:48,888 So you teach a class in... 861 00:34:48,888 --> 00:34:50,990 [heckler] Audio! 862 00:34:50,990 --> 00:34:53,025 Oh, maybe there's some students I tortured here. 863 00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:54,393 You cannot hear him? 864 00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,395 [audience] No! 865 00:34:58,430 --> 00:34:59,598 How about now? 866 00:35:00,065 --> 00:35:01,200 No? 867 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,434 How about this? Watch this. 868 00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:03,903 - Look at this. - See? 869 00:35:03,903 --> 00:35:05,804 There's intelligence. I told you 870 00:35:05,905 --> 00:35:07,106 Don't you mount him. 871 00:35:08,941 --> 00:35:10,475 So what else is going on? 872 00:35:10,475 --> 00:35:12,044 How about now? 873 00:35:12,044 --> 00:35:13,145 One, two... 874 00:35:13,145 --> 00:35:14,914 You guys, fuck it. Brady, right? 875 00:35:14,914 --> 00:35:16,415 I mean, that's nuts. 876 00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:17,416 Yeah. 877 00:35:17,416 --> 00:35:19,151 - And, uh... - [Sean] That's where it was. 878 00:35:19,151 --> 00:35:22,287 - [Max] So this is exactly... - I've got tears in my eyes, for sure. 879 00:35:22,287 --> 00:35:24,456 ...because, you know, you have all these people saying, 880 00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,158 "Oh, let's just build more technology. 881 00:35:26,158 --> 00:35:28,260 It's always gonna work. Trust us." You know. 882 00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:29,461 And then, uh... 883 00:35:29,461 --> 00:35:30,562 [laughing] 884 00:35:30,562 --> 00:35:32,231 - How about now? - Really? 885 00:35:32,231 --> 00:35:33,498 - [woman] Yeah. - Yeah? 886 00:35:33,498 --> 00:35:34,433 [audience cheering] 887 00:35:34,433 --> 00:35:37,402 All right. So the class you teach is... 888 00:35:37,402 --> 00:35:39,804 The most of my time I spend actually doing research 889 00:35:39,804 --> 00:35:41,806 - on artificial intelligence. - [gasps] 890 00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:43,275 - Okay. Okay, good. - Okay. 891 00:35:43,275 --> 00:35:44,743 By the way, when somebody says "AI," 892 00:35:44,743 --> 00:35:47,812 all I picture are those mechanical dogs that walk around. 893 00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:50,082 And they don't really-- they don't really do anything. 894 00:35:50,082 --> 00:35:51,951 It's just like, "Oh, look, we invented a robot dog 895 00:35:51,951 --> 00:35:53,185 and it doesn't really do anything." 896 00:35:53,185 --> 00:35:55,354 So, I wanna... [laughs] 897 00:35:55,354 --> 00:35:57,089 I wanna know, like, what's the next thing 898 00:35:57,089 --> 00:35:59,959 - that we can use it like-- - Is it mechanical cats? 899 00:35:59,959 --> 00:36:02,527 [all laughing] 900 00:36:02,527 --> 00:36:04,496 The truth is, despite through all the hype, 901 00:36:04,496 --> 00:36:07,967 is that artificial intelligence is still mostly pretty dumb. 902 00:36:07,967 --> 00:36:09,601 Well, shouldn't we keep it dumb? 903 00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:11,770 'Cause if we let it get too smart, etcetera-- 904 00:36:11,770 --> 00:36:13,772 Yeah, because remember that thing about Facebook 905 00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:16,275 where they started doing like AI technology 906 00:36:16,275 --> 00:36:17,509 and they started talking to each other 907 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:19,278 and they shut it down? Is that true? 908 00:36:19,278 --> 00:36:22,581 - 'Cause they were gossiping. - Yeah. 909 00:36:22,581 --> 00:36:24,449 It's true, but people often ask me, you know, 910 00:36:24,449 --> 00:36:27,619 if we should fear AI or be excited about it. 911 00:36:27,619 --> 00:36:28,988 The answer in obviously both. 912 00:36:28,988 --> 00:36:31,390 Right? AI is like any technology. 913 00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:32,992 It's not evil or good. 914 00:36:32,992 --> 00:36:34,193 If I ask you, like, "What about fire? 915 00:36:34,193 --> 00:36:35,760 How do you feel? Are you for it or against it?" 916 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:36,895 Like, what are you gonna say? 917 00:36:36,996 --> 00:36:39,698 Right, it can hurt if you use it incorrectly. 918 00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,900 Exactly. And the same thing with all tech-- 919 00:36:42,001 --> 00:36:44,769 - [all laughing] - The only difference is... 920 00:36:44,769 --> 00:36:48,473 that AI is gonna be the most powerful technology ever. 921 00:36:48,473 --> 00:36:50,875 I mean, look, why is it that we humans here 922 00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:52,711 are the most powerful species on this planet? 923 00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:53,678 Fuckin' eh. 924 00:36:53,678 --> 00:36:56,148 Is it because we have some bigger biceps? 925 00:36:56,148 --> 00:36:58,550 Sharper teeth than the tigers? 926 00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:00,019 No. It's 'cause we're smarter, right? 927 00:37:00,019 --> 00:37:02,721 So, obviously, if we make machines that are way smarter than us, 928 00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:05,690 then it's either gonna be the best thing ever, 929 00:37:05,690 --> 00:37:07,026 - or the worst thing ever. - Yeah. 930 00:37:07,026 --> 00:37:08,560 - So-- so-- so-- - My question is-- 931 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,496 - Go ahead, Will. - When it's the worst thing ever, 932 00:37:11,496 --> 00:37:14,033 by the time it becomes the worst thing ever, 933 00:37:14,033 --> 00:37:15,367 then we're fucked. 934 00:37:15,367 --> 00:37:17,069 You look like the most nervous out of the three-- 935 00:37:17,069 --> 00:37:18,203 I'm very nervous. 936 00:37:18,203 --> 00:37:19,638 Is that-- you know, you have this ever-smarter thing-- 937 00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:21,040 I'm very nervous about AI. Thank you. 938 00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:22,941 And, uh, you don't know how it works. 939 00:37:24,109 --> 00:37:27,846 And, uh, that means should you really, really trust it? 940 00:37:27,846 --> 00:37:29,581 - Right. - There are three things you're gonna need. 941 00:37:29,581 --> 00:37:34,053 The first, you're gonna need the AI to understand our human goals 942 00:37:34,053 --> 00:37:36,655 and then get it to actually adopt to goals 943 00:37:36,655 --> 00:37:37,889 and then to actually keep those goals 944 00:37:37,889 --> 00:37:38,923 as it gets smarter. 945 00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,225 And if you think about it for a little longer, 946 00:37:40,225 --> 00:37:41,593 each of these are like really hard. 947 00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:44,229 Suppose you tell your future self 948 00:37:44,229 --> 00:37:46,431 driving a car to take you to Logan Airport 949 00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:47,499 as fast as possible, 950 00:37:47,499 --> 00:37:49,201 and then you get there covered in vomit, 951 00:37:49,201 --> 00:37:50,669 then chased by helicopters, 952 00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:53,072 you're gonna be like, "No, no, no. That's not what I meant." 953 00:37:53,072 --> 00:37:54,739 And the car goes like... 954 00:37:54,739 --> 00:37:57,909 [in robotic voice] That's exactly what you asked for. 955 00:37:57,909 --> 00:37:59,411 See? They do talk like that. 956 00:37:59,411 --> 00:38:00,712 [Jason] Literally. 957 00:38:02,214 --> 00:38:03,515 You know, Hollywood, 958 00:38:03,515 --> 00:38:06,518 it makes us associate the AI so much with robots. 959 00:38:06,518 --> 00:38:08,487 But the biggest impact right now 960 00:38:08,487 --> 00:38:10,955 AI's having is actually not robots at all. 961 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,291 It's just software, right? 962 00:38:12,291 --> 00:38:16,361 Like, most of AI in the US is used by social media companies 963 00:38:16,361 --> 00:38:17,596 to manipulate you guys 964 00:38:17,596 --> 00:38:19,631 to watch as many ads as possible, right? 965 00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:22,267 Uh, but figuring out the truth is like really hard. 966 00:38:22,267 --> 00:38:23,435 Even the best scientists. 967 00:38:23,435 --> 00:38:25,470 Like, Isaac Newton was a pretty smart guy, right? 968 00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:27,539 Turned out he was wrong about gravity. 969 00:38:27,539 --> 00:38:29,007 And we all believed it. 970 00:38:29,108 --> 00:38:31,176 And then Einstein came along and said, "Nope," 971 00:38:31,176 --> 00:38:32,411 - [mouthing] Fuck you. - ...you know. 972 00:38:32,411 --> 00:38:33,878 So we were doing this thing where we use machine learning 973 00:38:33,878 --> 00:38:36,781 to read thousands and thousand of articles every day 974 00:38:36,781 --> 00:38:39,451 and extract out all the actual predictions. 975 00:38:39,451 --> 00:38:41,386 And then we keep track of 'em 976 00:38:41,386 --> 00:38:44,389 and see which ones actually turned out to be true 977 00:38:44,389 --> 00:38:46,825 later when it was uncontroversial. 978 00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:49,661 This is the same idea we use in the science literature. 979 00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:51,130 You can't just make stuff up. 980 00:38:51,130 --> 00:38:53,565 You have to show them the data so they can check it. 981 00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:57,436 Sean, your best robot voice. Go. Quick. 982 00:38:57,436 --> 00:39:01,140 [in robotic voice] Do you want to play a game of War? 983 00:39:01,140 --> 00:39:03,442 [in robotic voice] Do you want to play a game? 984 00:39:03,442 --> 00:39:04,743 That's it! 985 00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:06,010 [audience laughing and cheering] 986 00:39:25,164 --> 00:39:27,299 How was it? How was that? 987 00:39:27,966 --> 00:39:28,967 Different. 988 00:39:34,606 --> 00:39:35,607 - No. - Did you watch from the sides? 989 00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:36,741 I watched from the sides. 990 00:39:36,741 --> 00:39:38,543 - How'd it seem? - Different. He's not a comedian. 991 00:39:42,281 --> 00:39:44,416 I just wanted to get an academic 992 00:39:44,416 --> 00:39:46,785 - while we were in this incredible city. - Yeah. 993 00:39:47,619 --> 00:39:48,853 And the audience, 994 00:39:48,853 --> 00:39:51,190 you know, I can hear them talking all the way through it. 995 00:39:51,190 --> 00:39:53,825 Not-- The second show, yes. 996 00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:56,195 - Yeah. - But why are they mic'd? 997 00:39:56,195 --> 00:39:59,097 They're not. It's just the acoustics. 998 00:39:59,097 --> 00:40:01,933 - Oh, really? - But, Jay, I said to Will when we were walking away, 999 00:40:01,933 --> 00:40:03,134 uh, not to beat a dead horse, 1000 00:40:03,134 --> 00:40:06,137 but that kind of audience after fucking O'Brien 1001 00:40:06,137 --> 00:40:07,706 second show on a Saturday, 1002 00:40:07,706 --> 00:40:09,874 it's always the trickiest. 1003 00:40:09,874 --> 00:40:11,643 He should have been the earlier guest. 1004 00:40:11,643 --> 00:40:12,811 - Yeah. - Yes. 1005 00:40:12,811 --> 00:40:15,547 [Will] Listen, there were some great moments in there, 1006 00:40:15,547 --> 00:40:17,982 asking real questions that were fucking great 1007 00:40:17,982 --> 00:40:20,485 and interesting, and us fucking around, 1008 00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:22,887 and like, literally, and then Sean going, 1009 00:40:22,887 --> 00:40:24,323 "Are we going to Mars? Yes or no." 1010 00:40:24,323 --> 00:40:26,325 [laughing] Yes-or-no answer. 1011 00:40:26,325 --> 00:40:27,692 And his answer was yes. 1012 00:40:30,262 --> 00:40:32,564 [soft piano music playing] 1013 00:40:45,710 --> 00:40:49,080 Yeah, I wonder what the Brooklyn audiences are gonna be like. 1014 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,582 Yeah. 1015 00:40:50,582 --> 00:40:53,685 [soft piano music continues] 1016 00:41:03,762 --> 00:41:06,265 [Will] Basically, there's something wrong with our plane. 1017 00:41:07,932 --> 00:41:09,534 [sighs] Ah, man.