1 00:00:06,179 --> 00:00:09,661 And people from Boston like that's how we felt. 2 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,924 [Jason] What about my glasses on the end of your nose and you're reading 3 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:13,969 'cause you haven't fallen asleep yet, like you're dad. 4 00:00:15,710 --> 00:00:17,016 It's my fantasy. 5 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:19,627 -"It's my fantasy." - [all chuckling] 6 00:00:19,627 --> 00:00:22,239 You know that the, the tale of that, you said, "That's my fantasy." 7 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:23,544 What? 8 00:00:23,544 --> 00:00:25,155 - Oh, really? - I feel like we got it. 9 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:26,373 - Yeah... - [cameraman] Yeah, we got it. 10 00:00:26,373 --> 00:00:28,506 Okay. 11 00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:31,552 Can we get a housekeep, housekeeping up here to go change my fucking sheets... 12 00:00:31,552 --> 00:00:33,685 I'm so sorry, we're in there with our day clothes. 13 00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:35,948 Ugh. 14 00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:38,864 [Jason] You need to see if it was in my bed, we'd have to do full change out of linen. 15 00:00:43,651 --> 00:00:46,654 [computer voice] Smart... less. 16 00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:52,095 Smart... less. 17 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,842 [sirens blowing] 18 00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:08,328 - [Will] So, Jay, for your second guest... - [Jason] Yeah. 19 00:01:08,328 --> 00:01:11,375 [Will] ...at a certain point, we're going to go, we got a question from, 20 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:15,988 from somebody who's also a fan of the show and they're actually here. 21 00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,642 Have Bradley walk on... 22 00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,166 - Bradley Cooper - [Will] Bradley Cooper. 23 00:01:22,690 --> 00:01:23,691 Okay. 24 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,868 Bradley just texted, he said, 25 00:01:26,868 --> 00:01:28,479 "I come out, I sit down and say, 26 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:31,090 'to be honest, I, I don't really have a question. 27 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:32,657 I just wanted to sit with you guys.-" 28 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,702 - Great. Even better. - Yeah. 29 00:01:34,702 --> 00:01:38,837 Is that enough of a cover for the original guest 30 00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:42,101 to feel like they're-- 31 00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:43,581 I, I want to protect their feelings... 32 00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:45,757 [Will] Well, well, he, so he also was very aware of that when, 33 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,063 when we just thought that he doesn't want to, like, step on her, 34 00:01:48,063 --> 00:01:50,109 on her toes, he was very, that was the first thing Bradley said... 35 00:01:50,109 --> 00:01:51,154 [Jason] Do you think it's a female? 36 00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:55,462 - Well, yes. - [Jason] Why? 37 00:01:55,462 --> 00:01:57,551 Because somebody said she. 38 00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,771 Yeah. Okay. 39 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,860 It only, it narrows it down to half the population... 40 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:05,429 [Will] It, it has to. 52 percent. 41 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,039 [Jason] You know what? I'm bummed about last night. 42 00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:09,389 [Jason] It was tough. I just don't want to talk about it. 43 00:02:09,389 --> 00:02:11,870 I mean, I would with you, not with them around. 44 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,176 [Jason] Yeah, yeah. 45 00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,394 No, there he is. 46 00:02:14,394 --> 00:02:16,875 There she is. Oh, that's... 47 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,050 What up, bitch? 48 00:02:23,925 --> 00:02:24,970 [siren blowing] 49 00:02:26,928 --> 00:02:28,887 Gentlemen, how are we? 50 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,324 [man speaking] 51 00:02:31,324 --> 00:02:33,283 - The second show was a brutal. - [man speaking] 52 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:34,675 We got killed on social media. 53 00:02:34,675 --> 00:02:35,981 Yeah. 54 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,591 It is to be expected. 55 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:38,897 Huh? 56 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,203 That's what happens. 57 00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,206 We had a conversation. 58 00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,773 We're back on track. 59 00:02:45,773 --> 00:02:48,341 And I reminded everybody that we're in show business. 60 00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:50,300 Here. Love you. 61 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:53,477 [Wil] We also have a secret weapons guest surprise that I put together, 62 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:54,869 who's going to come on in the middle. 63 00:02:54,869 --> 00:02:56,393 - [man] Tonight? - Tonight. 64 00:03:22,288 --> 00:03:25,770 [Will] So, I thought a little bit further about what the intro should be 65 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:30,035 for Bradley, so that it's not a wah-wah, because I'm going to have to do it, 66 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:34,866 is we have a friend who's a huge fan of yours, wanted to meet you, 67 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:38,957 so come on out and meet blah, blah, blah and then boom, he's on. 68 00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:41,089 And that, that way it makes the guest feel great... 69 00:03:41,089 --> 00:03:42,265 - [man] Yeah. - [Will] Yeah. 70 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:43,614 - [man] Yeah, that's... - [Will] Cool. 71 00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:44,963 You're cool with that? Okay, good. 72 00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,399 [man] I see the theater. 73 00:03:46,399 --> 00:03:48,401 Oh, there's our little, we, we're on the... 74 00:03:49,837 --> 00:03:51,535 - Marquee. - Marquee. 75 00:03:54,929 --> 00:03:56,931 I can feel the energy. 76 00:03:56,931 --> 00:03:58,368 [laughing] 77 00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,154 [woman] Good morning. 78 00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,808 - [woman] Hi. - [man] Good morning. Good morning. 79 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,418 [man] Hi. 80 00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:11,250 [Will] Holy shit. 81 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,643 - [man] Nice. - [Jason] Pretty, wow. 82 00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:13,861 [Will] Holy... 83 00:04:13,861 --> 00:04:15,341 This is amazing. 84 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:17,952 [man] Beautiful. 85 00:04:17,952 --> 00:04:19,476 [Will] No, I meant that they will be able to get 86 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,565 all the Ozark fans together in one place. 87 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:24,959 [man 2] Why don't we go down a size? 88 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:26,396 [man 3] Yeah, let's go down a size. 89 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,049 - [man 4] All right, now... - You know, we'll just hide all the-- 90 00:04:28,049 --> 00:04:29,399 - You okay? - Yeah. 91 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,968 I'm just fucking tired. 92 00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:35,405 I, I just did not sleep a lot. 93 00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:38,233 Yeah. We have now almost an hour. 94 00:04:38,233 --> 00:04:39,626 You want to close your eyes? 95 00:04:40,453 --> 00:04:41,541 I don't know. 96 00:04:44,631 --> 00:04:47,330 I'm gonna sleep. You wanna sit in here? 97 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,070 How is this following us everywhere? 98 00:04:49,070 --> 00:04:52,291 I can't, I can't resist. 99 00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:54,337 - Did you sleep, Eli? - [Eli] Oh, yeah. 100 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:57,818 - Did you? - I slept till, like, 2:30. 101 00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,473 - No way. - Yeah. 102 00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:02,432 [Will] Last night just killed me. 103 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:05,043 I'd just come off that bad show and then stuck at the airport all night. 104 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,262 - It's just, what a blow. - I know, right? 105 00:05:07,262 --> 00:05:10,701 [Will] Really kind of sucked the air out of the tour a little bit. 106 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,964 [Sean] We all have got to find it tonight. 107 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:15,053 I mean, what a fucking awful evening... 108 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,229 You know, when you're the most tired, you pull... 109 00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:18,970 [Sean] That's true. That's true. 110 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,624 You guys are going to be, it's going to be a runway... 111 00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,234 But that's a lot of rabbits for six hours. 112 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,105 It's going to be a runaway train though. It's gonna be... 113 00:05:24,105 --> 00:05:25,933 [Sean] It's, what time is it now, five? 114 00:05:25,933 --> 00:05:27,544 Five twenty-six. 115 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:30,198 So, we have 5:30, 6:30, 7:30, 8:30, 9:30, 10:30, 11:30. 116 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,332 [woman] I always worry when things are too good. 117 00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:34,986 - Yeah, about 8 hours. - Just think, tomorrow. 118 00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,422 Tomorrow is free, clear. 119 00:05:36,422 --> 00:05:37,641 - I know that's true. - A day of rest. 120 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,556 - Yeah, that's true. - It's the Lord's Day. 121 00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:40,774 - Yeah, yeah... - Yeah. 122 00:05:45,593 --> 00:05:46,724 All right. All right. 123 00:05:46,724 --> 00:05:49,597 Welcome to the Smartless VIP Q 124 00:05:49,597 --> 00:05:51,338 [crowd clapping] 125 00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:53,949 So, I'm Jaime. 126 00:05:53,949 --> 00:05:55,385 My question is for Jason. 127 00:05:55,385 --> 00:05:57,300 I was in Boston for both shows last night. 128 00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,085 Okay. 129 00:05:59,085 --> 00:06:03,611 Well, so word on the street is that this was like a cancellation for someone 130 00:06:03,611 --> 00:06:05,178 - who couldn't make it. - Not true. 131 00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:07,180 So what, what was the rationale? 132 00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:08,572 Just like, we, we're going to learn something? 133 00:06:08,572 --> 00:06:10,792 - The rationale was... - I'm so glad you asked. 134 00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:17,668 Well, you know, to be honest, we hear from some of the people that we trust that, 135 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:20,367 "Hey, you know, it's great that you can get your big, fancy, 136 00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:24,197 famous friends on the show, but it's really great when you guys get people 137 00:06:24,197 --> 00:06:26,721 on the show that, that, you know, are not. 138 00:06:26,721 --> 00:06:30,116 Scientists who's actually taking big swings and changing the world. 139 00:06:30,116 --> 00:06:31,465 [Jason] Yeah. 140 00:06:31,465 --> 00:06:34,163 And sometimes it's not a big shiny person, but it's someone 141 00:06:34,163 --> 00:06:36,209 who's actually doing something really, really cool. 142 00:06:36,209 --> 00:06:37,819 And I think last night that crowd was late 143 00:06:37,819 --> 00:06:38,776 and they'd been drinking or what? 144 00:06:38,776 --> 00:06:40,561 I don't know. 145 00:06:40,561 --> 00:06:42,519 Uh, and they were angry that it wasn't, you know, and, and... 146 00:06:42,519 --> 00:06:43,869 [Jaime] Yeah, they're from Boston... 147 00:06:43,869 --> 00:06:45,174 That's the way the show goes. 148 00:06:45,174 --> 00:06:47,829 [Sean] You know, we went on tour with the podcast. 149 00:06:47,829 --> 00:06:49,570 Last night was the podcast... 150 00:06:49,570 --> 00:06:50,876 [Will] Right, right. 151 00:06:50,876 --> 00:06:52,138 And it was, it's a grab bag. 152 00:06:52,138 --> 00:06:53,530 [Will] It's always a mystery guest. 153 00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:54,749 [Jason] It was great. And he was awesome. 154 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,011 - [Sean] He really was. - So... 155 00:06:56,011 --> 00:06:57,143 Bye to you. 156 00:06:58,796 --> 00:07:00,059 You guys thank you so much... 157 00:07:00,059 --> 00:07:01,495 Thank you so much. 158 00:07:01,495 --> 00:07:03,105 [crowd clapping] 159 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,633 [Will] So, two shows last night in Boston, went to the airport, 160 00:07:09,633 --> 00:07:12,680 10:45, supposed to get on the plane. 161 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,335 We eventually took off at 5:45 this morning... 162 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,727 Oh, come on. 163 00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,338 And we got to the hotel this morning at 7:30. 164 00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:19,992 - Are you kidding? - No. 165 00:07:19,992 --> 00:07:21,036 [man] It wasn't weather, was it? 166 00:07:21,036 --> 00:07:22,690 - [woman] Yeah... - [Sean] No, it was his... 167 00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:24,170 - It was weather and... - All his luggage. 168 00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:25,432 - All of his products... - [Will] Luggage. 169 00:07:25,432 --> 00:07:26,607 All of his clothes. 170 00:07:26,607 --> 00:07:28,826 And, and, and I said, "Where are my 100 Grand Bars? 171 00:07:30,916 --> 00:07:33,657 The whole plan was that we're going to finish the second show. 172 00:07:33,657 --> 00:07:36,530 Not even go backstage, just straight to the private plane. 173 00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:39,054 They had two deicing trucks catch on fire... 174 00:07:39,054 --> 00:07:40,229 [woman laughing] 175 00:07:40,229 --> 00:07:42,144 Wow. 176 00:07:42,144 --> 00:07:46,279 So, we sat in the airport from 10:30 at night until six in the morning. 177 00:07:46,279 --> 00:07:47,802 [laughing] 178 00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:49,935 Ten-thirty at night until six in the morning? Yeah. 179 00:07:50,979 --> 00:07:52,328 Ouch! 180 00:07:52,328 --> 00:07:53,895 - Ow. - [woman] Oh. Oh, my God. 181 00:07:53,895 --> 00:07:55,288 [laughing] 182 00:07:59,074 --> 00:08:00,119 No. 183 00:08:07,039 --> 00:08:10,390 There's, there's nothing worse than thinking that it couldn't be more 184 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:13,132 convenient than having our own jet plane. 185 00:08:13,132 --> 00:08:15,830 And then, the next thing you know, they're putting a blanket over you... 186 00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:17,266 [laughing] 187 00:08:17,266 --> 00:08:18,615 watching the sun come up. 188 00:08:18,615 --> 00:08:20,008 [laughing] 189 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,800 [Will] I got to do all my audience kills before every show 190 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:35,719 and I can just go, "Her gone, him gone, them out, them out." 191 00:08:35,719 --> 00:08:39,375 And I just do it purely by just gut. 192 00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:43,162 That guy, sleeper cell. 193 00:08:43,162 --> 00:08:45,381 [woman 2] Hey, we're going to hold the show 15 minutes to get everybody in. 194 00:08:45,381 --> 00:08:46,600 [Will] Okay. 195 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,341 I'm just so, my nerves are fried. 196 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:50,996 I'm just exhausted. 197 00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:52,214 Yeah. You'll find it. 198 00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:55,435 You want to do a couple of laps around the table? 199 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,219 Yes. 200 00:08:58,655 --> 00:08:59,917 [woman 3] Oh, my God, SmartLess... 201 00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:01,876 [indistinct chatter] 202 00:09:03,138 --> 00:09:04,748 All right. Quick power naps, guys. 203 00:09:04,748 --> 00:09:06,794 Oi. [vocalizes] 204 00:09:06,794 --> 00:09:08,056 [man] Ten minutes to showtime. 205 00:09:08,056 --> 00:09:10,189 Ten, let's cut that in half, dog. 206 00:09:10,189 --> 00:09:11,538 [Sean] Yeah, can we do five? 207 00:09:11,538 --> 00:09:13,409 No, well, let's, they got a, they got a message. 208 00:09:13,409 --> 00:09:15,194 They got a reason for it. 209 00:09:15,194 --> 00:09:16,934 It's getting crowds in. 210 00:09:16,934 --> 00:09:20,112 There were a lot of people still loading in last night when we started too. 211 00:09:20,112 --> 00:09:21,722 Is that what all the chatter was? 212 00:09:21,722 --> 00:09:23,332 [Will] Early on. The chatter later... 213 00:09:23,332 --> 00:09:24,551 - No, I think it was-- - ...was we were being booed, 214 00:09:24,551 --> 00:09:26,161 quite literally. 215 00:09:26,161 --> 00:09:27,771 I think it was, there were a lot of people coming. 216 00:09:27,771 --> 00:09:29,556 Texted like, "My whole section left." 217 00:09:29,556 --> 00:09:30,818 Bullshit. 218 00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:33,777 Well, great. You know, who... 219 00:09:33,777 --> 00:09:34,952 That's not that many people. 220 00:09:34,952 --> 00:09:36,650 You know who doesn't trolled on Twitter? 221 00:09:36,650 --> 00:09:40,088 People that loved it, which is most of them. 222 00:09:40,088 --> 00:09:42,090 [man 4] Wait, whose guest was Max? 223 00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,613 - [man 5] It was Jason's guest. - Ha. 224 00:09:43,613 --> 00:09:46,790 Yeah, wait until you hear the chatter after me. 225 00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,009 [woman 2 laughing] 226 00:09:48,009 --> 00:09:49,706 What's that old fucker doing out there? 227 00:09:49,706 --> 00:09:51,143 [woman 2 laughing] 228 00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:55,874 - [crowd clapping] - [Jason] Tonight, it's my guest. 229 00:09:55,874 --> 00:09:57,485 So, I get the middle. 230 00:09:59,269 --> 00:10:01,314 That's not always good news. 231 00:10:01,314 --> 00:10:06,015 I am very excited about my guest tonight. 232 00:10:06,015 --> 00:10:09,801 I am, my heart is pounding, pounding. 233 00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:11,455 And it's not just the diet Red Bull. 234 00:10:12,587 --> 00:10:14,414 All right, granddad needs notes too. 235 00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:16,939 Gang, dash... 236 00:10:18,462 --> 00:10:19,898 Wow, you, you work hard on these... 237 00:10:19,898 --> 00:10:21,813 No, not these... Not the punctuation, too. 238 00:10:21,813 --> 00:10:23,032 You don't have to... 239 00:10:23,032 --> 00:10:25,077 We've been going to different cities, and in each city, 240 00:10:25,077 --> 00:10:28,907 we are trying to invite a guest that is part of its fabric, 241 00:10:28,907 --> 00:10:31,997 its spirit, its soul. 242 00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:33,303 [crowd cheering] 243 00:10:33,303 --> 00:10:35,261 This guy, so now you know it's a man... 244 00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:36,393 Uh-huh. 245 00:10:36,393 --> 00:10:38,047 Checks the boxes. 246 00:10:38,047 --> 00:10:41,267 - He is also-- - Giuliani! 247 00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:42,747 [all laughing] 248 00:10:43,705 --> 00:10:45,924 Is it Giuliani? 249 00:10:45,924 --> 00:10:48,840 Don't, don't turn them against us already. 250 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:52,714 He's also an enormous hero to each of us. 251 00:10:52,714 --> 00:10:53,932 Oh. 252 00:10:53,932 --> 00:10:55,107 He is comedy royalty. 253 00:10:55,107 --> 00:10:56,544 - I know exactly who it is. - Bullshit. 254 00:10:56,544 --> 00:10:57,414 You don't know who this is... 255 00:10:57,414 --> 00:10:58,589 - I know. - Fuck you. 256 00:10:58,589 --> 00:10:59,808 [Jason] Then don't guess it yet. 257 00:10:59,808 --> 00:11:01,374 - Hold on. - Mouth it to me. 258 00:11:01,374 --> 00:11:03,115 - [Jason] And he is... - No. 259 00:11:03,115 --> 00:11:05,640 ...the undisputed best at what he does. 260 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,339 Sean keeps going like this. "Martin Short." 261 00:11:09,339 --> 00:11:10,993 - [crowd cheering] - Martin Short. 262 00:11:10,993 --> 00:11:12,342 Short. 263 00:11:12,342 --> 00:11:14,387 [audience laughing] 264 00:11:14,387 --> 00:11:15,606 - Are you finished? - [Will] Sorry. 265 00:11:17,608 --> 00:11:18,870 Gang, dash. 266 00:11:20,176 --> 00:11:21,307 Look... 267 00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:24,833 - Thank you, Sean. - All right. 268 00:11:24,833 --> 00:11:27,009 He's the undisputed best at what he does. 269 00:11:27,009 --> 00:11:28,532 No one better. 270 00:11:28,532 --> 00:11:33,276 Period. He has 52 Emmy nominations to prove it, along with 12 wins. 271 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,801 He's got a Kennedy Center Honor, a Mark Twain Award. 272 00:11:36,801 --> 00:11:40,065 Will, Sean, Brooklyn, please welcome Mr. David Letterman. 273 00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:43,242 Wow! 274 00:11:43,242 --> 00:11:44,940 - Come on, Dave. - [audience exclaiming] 275 00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:46,506 Oh! 276 00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,160 Wow! 277 00:11:49,771 --> 00:11:51,511 Oh, my God. 278 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:52,600 [crowd cheering and clapping] 279 00:11:58,257 --> 00:12:00,129 - Holy shit, right? - Jason. 280 00:12:00,129 --> 00:12:04,263 I'm, I'm sitting backstage listening to you guys... 281 00:12:04,263 --> 00:12:05,961 Thinking about the mistake you made? 282 00:12:05,961 --> 00:12:09,921 No, and I'm, all I can think of is I hope this doesn't cut into my time. 283 00:12:09,921 --> 00:12:11,096 [crowd cheering] 284 00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:12,315 Yeah, sorry. 285 00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,056 We have run a little long. 286 00:12:14,056 --> 00:12:16,841 [Will] I, I should say that, and I think I speak for Sean, 287 00:12:16,841 --> 00:12:19,061 but it is such an honor to have you here. 288 00:12:19,061 --> 00:12:20,584 You have always truly been one of my... 289 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:22,064 - Oh, please. - You know what? 290 00:12:22,064 --> 00:12:23,935 He said he'd speak for me, but I've never said anything like that. 291 00:12:23,935 --> 00:12:25,284 - [crowd cheering] - [Will] Oh. 292 00:12:25,284 --> 00:12:28,331 [David] Sean, the last few times you were on the show, 293 00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:32,465 you came on with such enviable energy, such good-natured, 294 00:12:32,465 --> 00:12:35,120 likable excellence as a human. 295 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,339 That's the coke. 296 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,688 - Yeah and... - Fair enough. 297 00:12:37,688 --> 00:12:40,517 [all chuckling] 298 00:12:40,517 --> 00:12:44,956 when, whenever we would be talking after the show, the comment was always, 299 00:12:44,956 --> 00:12:48,177 "Why doesn't Sean have his own talk show?" 300 00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:49,657 [crowd cheering and clapping] 301 00:12:49,657 --> 00:12:51,397 [Sean] Well, that's very kind of you. 302 00:12:51,397 --> 00:12:54,183 And if I ever did it, you are one of the biggest reasons why I would do it. 303 00:12:54,183 --> 00:12:55,314 The biggest. 304 00:12:55,314 --> 00:12:56,620 Yeah, you are such a hero of all of us. 305 00:12:56,620 --> 00:12:58,230 Thank you, enough horse shit. Thank you. 306 00:12:58,230 --> 00:13:01,581 [crowd cheering and clapping] 307 00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:06,761 Now, you were on the show many, many, many times and wow, can the guy talk? 308 00:13:06,761 --> 00:13:11,591 It was like talking to Charles Dickens for God sake. 309 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:16,553 Uh, and then at 10:45, the people would be in the broadcast center 310 00:13:16,553 --> 00:13:19,121 editing because he had gone so long. 311 00:13:19,121 --> 00:13:21,210 [crowd cheering and clapping] 312 00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:23,560 [Jason] I've always wanted to ask you this. 313 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,476 Some of your colleagues visit with a guest before they come out. 314 00:13:26,476 --> 00:13:27,912 You never did that when... 315 00:13:27,912 --> 00:13:29,435 Never would do that. No. 316 00:13:29,435 --> 00:13:31,133 [Jason] So there was a question 10, 15 minutes ago, 317 00:13:31,133 --> 00:13:32,917 "You're going to go down and say hi to Dave?" 318 00:13:32,917 --> 00:13:35,006 And I said, "Well, no, he, he never did that with any of his guests 319 00:13:35,006 --> 00:13:36,486 I think, so I probably shouldn't." 320 00:13:36,486 --> 00:13:38,880 - No, I, I appreciate. - Yes, it was absolutely. 321 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,013 In my case, I can't speak for the world, but in my case, that was a good decision. 322 00:13:42,013 --> 00:13:43,493 So 10 minutes ago, you're down 323 00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:45,234 in the dressing room, what are you doing? 324 00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:47,540 [David] Everything I know about, uh, uh, well, that's none of your business. 325 00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:53,068 But everything I know about running a talk show, I learned from Johnny Carson. 326 00:13:53,068 --> 00:13:55,026 Mmm. 327 00:13:55,026 --> 00:13:58,203 - I want the, oh, hi, welcome to the house moment... - [Sean] Sure, right. 328 00:13:58,203 --> 00:14:01,467 And that initial electricity or lack there of should, 329 00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:02,860 should come naturally. 330 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,732 I will watch reruns with my husband. 331 00:14:04,732 --> 00:14:05,994 I'm gay, Dave. 332 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,779 I, I would watch. 333 00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:09,954 Still? 334 00:14:09,954 --> 00:14:11,260 [Sean] Yeah, still. 335 00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,652 Yeah. 336 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,306 I am taking every medication, it's not working. 337 00:14:14,306 --> 00:14:15,612 Okay. 338 00:14:15,612 --> 00:14:17,179 - Okay. - Oh, my God. 339 00:14:17,179 --> 00:14:19,007 This is awful. 340 00:14:19,007 --> 00:14:21,400 By the way, if he gets canceled, Dave, will you fill in for Will? 341 00:14:23,925 --> 00:14:26,710 Dave, you just missed that cancel culture, just at the end, yes, 342 00:14:26,710 --> 00:14:29,713 it was happening, but not at the, at the rate it's happening now. 343 00:14:29,713 --> 00:14:30,801 - Right. - [Sean] Right. 344 00:14:30,801 --> 00:14:32,063 Um, that's all. 345 00:14:32,063 --> 00:14:33,282 [Jason] Yeah, do you think the writing... 346 00:14:33,282 --> 00:14:34,805 No, no. 347 00:14:34,805 --> 00:14:36,285 - Do you think... - Good point. 348 00:14:36,285 --> 00:14:38,113 - do you think that your writing process... - [Will] Good point. 349 00:14:40,332 --> 00:14:43,074 [Jason] Do you think that your writing process with your staff each night 350 00:14:43,074 --> 00:14:44,554 would have been different in today's culture? 351 00:14:44,554 --> 00:14:46,817 Yes. Yes, without question. 352 00:14:46,817 --> 00:14:49,646 And my personal feeling about this is... 353 00:14:49,646 --> 00:14:51,648 Careful. 354 00:14:51,648 --> 00:14:55,870 And you hear quite a lot of discussion about, "Oh, are we too woke or is, 355 00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:59,743 is, are we canceling too quickly or are we overcorrecting?" 356 00:14:59,743 --> 00:15:03,268 And I feel like, you know, let's overcorrect and see what happens. 357 00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:04,704 [crowd clappping] 358 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:07,490 [David] There are many, many things a person needs to be smart 359 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,927 and sensitive about that heretofore perhaps we were not. 360 00:15:09,927 --> 00:15:11,276 - Right, right... - [Jason] For sure. 361 00:15:11,276 --> 00:15:13,278 - For sure. - [Will] Yeah, yeah, agree, agree. 362 00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:15,498 [crowd clapping] 363 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,979 [Sean] You know, everybody knows the grind of a talk show that 364 00:15:17,979 --> 00:15:20,503 you work your balls off like five days a week. 365 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:21,852 You're always there. 366 00:15:21,852 --> 00:15:25,421 And because of that, you tend to have a more reclusive life. 367 00:15:25,421 --> 00:15:28,293 And people are kind of amazed when you appear anywhere because it's like, 368 00:15:28,293 --> 00:15:30,948 "Oh my God, Dave, it's like a magic trick." 369 00:15:30,948 --> 00:15:33,864 - It's like, somehow-- -"Oh my God, he's walking upright." 370 00:15:36,258 --> 00:15:39,391 But what do you think has changed since your show? 371 00:15:39,391 --> 00:15:42,090 You chose to end your show from then, and now, 372 00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:46,224 have you evolved into other than your Netflix, other than business-wise, 373 00:15:46,224 --> 00:15:50,228 what do you reflect upon now and think differently about? 374 00:15:50,228 --> 00:15:51,577 Your Honor, can I hear the question again, please? 375 00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:55,451 - Is that what I sounded like? - That was not even close... 376 00:15:55,451 --> 00:15:56,669 - That was better. - oh, that was... 377 00:15:56,669 --> 00:15:57,888 So, it's worse than that? 378 00:15:57,888 --> 00:15:59,977 That was Reader's Digest compared to you. 379 00:16:02,197 --> 00:16:05,243 I will say that, you know, many, many things that are more important 380 00:16:05,243 --> 00:16:07,855 to me now than I knew they were when I had a show. 381 00:16:07,855 --> 00:16:10,770 [Jason] I, I really want to know, what'd you do today? 382 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,076 Are you an early riser? 383 00:16:12,076 --> 00:16:13,991 - Let's start there. - No, not an early riser. 384 00:16:13,991 --> 00:16:15,863 - [Jason] Really? - I go to bed late. 385 00:16:15,863 --> 00:16:18,082 I stay up late watching climbing movies. 386 00:16:18,082 --> 00:16:19,475 - [Jason] Truly? - Oh... oh... 387 00:16:19,475 --> 00:16:21,999 [Jason] Oh, no, no, shut up, Will. 388 00:16:21,999 --> 00:16:26,351 Will, oh, God, he loves climbing stuff. 389 00:16:26,351 --> 00:16:27,483 - Will, wait. - Alpinist. 14 Peaks. 390 00:16:27,483 --> 00:16:28,658 [Jason] What about Solo? 391 00:16:28,658 --> 00:16:29,877 Yeah, 14 peaks. 392 00:16:29,877 --> 00:16:31,879 - Excellent. Yeah. - And we're good. 393 00:16:31,879 --> 00:16:34,882 [crowd cheering and clapping] 394 00:16:34,882 --> 00:16:36,666 Did you get heckled a lot last night... 395 00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:38,581 - For the physicist? - [Will] Yeah, well we did. 396 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:43,629 I mean, if, if, if, you know, the sound of seats emptying counts as heckling, sure. 397 00:16:43,629 --> 00:16:45,240 Sure... 398 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,590 Clearly, there were quite a few people that left our set. 399 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,808 [Will] Let's go, Carol. 400 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:51,028 It's your, it's your first, Ellen. 401 00:16:51,028 --> 00:16:53,074 [Jason] I will say there is something about 402 00:16:53,074 --> 00:16:54,684 Mount Everest that's magical to me. 403 00:16:54,684 --> 00:16:58,340 I, I know quite a lot about Mount Everest from the two dozen films 404 00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:00,777 I've watched about climbing Mount Everest. 405 00:17:00,777 --> 00:17:02,997 - Would you? - Oh, God, no. 406 00:17:02,997 --> 00:17:04,868 - Really? - [Sean] Like, well, well, what do you like about the... 407 00:17:04,868 --> 00:17:06,870 The scenery, typically lovely. 408 00:17:06,870 --> 00:17:10,221 And the kind of things I will not see probably in my lifetime. 409 00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:12,484 Yeah, I felt that way like when I went to Paris for the first time, 410 00:17:12,484 --> 00:17:14,182 I was like, "Well, there's an Eiffel Tower. 411 00:17:14,182 --> 00:17:15,574 It's just like every movie and postcard. 412 00:17:15,574 --> 00:17:17,011 Got it. I'm ready to go." 413 00:17:17,011 --> 00:17:19,535 Well, when you're climbing Mount Everest, 414 00:17:19,535 --> 00:17:22,364 every, every film about climbing Mount Everest, did, 415 00:17:22,364 --> 00:17:23,974 I'm sorry, did I lean on your laugh there? 416 00:17:23,974 --> 00:17:25,454 No. 417 00:17:25,454 --> 00:17:27,369 [crowd cheering and clapping] 418 00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:29,153 You get into what they call the death zone... 419 00:17:29,153 --> 00:17:30,502 The death zone, yeah. 420 00:17:30,502 --> 00:17:33,549 - Where, where your body starts consuming itself... - Yeah. 421 00:17:33,549 --> 00:17:37,945 And, and the air is so thin and you get dizzy and you get block-headed. 422 00:17:37,945 --> 00:17:42,210 And I heard one man describe he was coughing up tissue from his own throat. 423 00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:43,820 Oh. 424 00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,604 So you see why I can't live without 'em. 425 00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:50,609 Now, you don't do climbing, right? 426 00:17:50,609 --> 00:17:51,741 I don't do climbing either. 427 00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:54,483 My dad climbed Kilimanjaro when he was about 73... 428 00:17:54,483 --> 00:17:55,658 Oh, 19,000 feet. 429 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,660 What? 430 00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,489 Yeah, I always tell these guys stuff about my dad and they're like, "What?" 431 00:18:00,489 --> 00:18:02,012 And I'm like, "Well, you never ask." 432 00:18:02,012 --> 00:18:03,622 You guys never ask about my dad. 433 00:18:03,622 --> 00:18:05,015 Well... 434 00:18:08,236 --> 00:18:09,933 - It's not, it's not a happy story. - Oh. 435 00:18:09,933 --> 00:18:11,630 How do you describe a black hole? 436 00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:12,980 You know what I mean? 437 00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:15,069 [crowd cheering and clapping] 438 00:18:15,069 --> 00:18:18,072 Listen, uh, I don't want to take any more of your time. 439 00:18:18,072 --> 00:18:20,248 - You're just an incredible guy. - I know... 440 00:18:20,248 --> 00:18:23,251 I mean, 58 minutes into this, you don't want to take any more of my time? 441 00:18:24,469 --> 00:18:26,341 [Jason] David Letterman, everybody. 442 00:18:26,341 --> 00:18:27,516 [David] Thank you. 443 00:18:27,516 --> 00:18:28,734 - [Jason] Woo. - Thank you. 444 00:18:30,388 --> 00:18:31,955 Oh, my God. I'm still... 445 00:18:31,955 --> 00:18:33,435 I was shaking, man. 446 00:18:33,435 --> 00:18:34,740 - I was shaking when he came out. - Vibrating, right? 447 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:35,915 So, you earned this one. 448 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,439 Oh, my God. 449 00:18:37,439 --> 00:18:38,657 That's a mind blower. 450 00:18:38,657 --> 00:18:40,355 It was the craziest, most surreal... 451 00:18:40,355 --> 00:18:41,878 And I was like... 452 00:18:41,878 --> 00:18:43,706 I know. Isn't it wild? 453 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:47,971 You know, I really tried to be in the moment because my go-to thing 454 00:18:47,971 --> 00:18:50,756 in my head my whole life is to just be like, "Oh, it's no big deal." 455 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:51,931 You know what I mean? 456 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,194 It's the thing where it's like, 457 00:18:53,194 --> 00:18:54,891 "I can't believe this is happening to me." 458 00:18:54,891 --> 00:18:57,981 So, um, all of this anyway, by the way. 459 00:18:57,981 --> 00:19:02,594 But so I deflect it because I don't feel like I deserve it kind of thing. 460 00:19:02,594 --> 00:19:05,119 And then, but today I really tried to just be like, in the moment, 461 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,208 just look at him and go, "He's sitting right here." 462 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:10,472 And then I said to Will as he was walking up, I go, "Look at him exit, 463 00:19:10,472 --> 00:19:12,561 we'll never have this view again of, 464 00:19:12,561 --> 00:19:14,432 of this icon just kind of walking." 465 00:19:22,136 --> 00:19:23,485 Hello. Hello. 466 00:19:23,485 --> 00:19:26,009 - Hi. - Hi. 467 00:19:26,009 --> 00:19:29,752 I, I, I just want to thank you, um, and I'm serious 468 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:33,060 for the last year, the people that I know, they all say, 469 00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:35,149 "Have you been listening to SmartLess? 470 00:19:35,149 --> 00:19:36,454 You should try and be on Smartless." 471 00:19:36,454 --> 00:19:39,109 - Okay, Dave, 3, 2, 1. - Thank you very much. 472 00:19:39,109 --> 00:19:40,110 [David] Thank you, gentlemen. 473 00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:41,503 - Thanks again. - Thank you. Thank you. 474 00:19:41,503 --> 00:19:43,070 [David] Good luck and continued success. 475 00:19:45,159 --> 00:19:46,203 - Hi, honey. - Hi. 476 00:19:49,163 --> 00:19:50,729 Incredible. Congratulations. 477 00:19:50,729 --> 00:19:52,122 Thanks, bro... 478 00:19:52,122 --> 00:19:53,819 - Hi, pal... - Hi. 479 00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:55,343 Have you ever met Sean? 480 00:19:55,343 --> 00:19:56,648 - No, we've never met. - [Sean] How are you? 481 00:19:56,648 --> 00:19:58,172 Lovely to meet you. 482 00:19:58,172 --> 00:20:00,130 [mouthing] 483 00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:01,305 How was it? It was good? 484 00:20:01,305 --> 00:20:02,480 [man] Great. 485 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,873 We needed it after last night. 486 00:20:06,093 --> 00:20:07,877 Rough. 487 00:20:07,877 --> 00:20:10,445 [Will] It was rough, but anyway, is what it is, fucking, you know. 488 00:20:10,445 --> 00:20:12,403 Yeah. 489 00:20:12,403 --> 00:20:16,581 And then, but this tonight was just like the, like the perfect antidote. 490 00:20:16,581 --> 00:20:17,756 And it was just like, "Oh." 491 00:20:17,756 --> 00:20:19,106 I love you, guys. 492 00:20:19,106 --> 00:20:20,542 Sean, thank you so much... 493 00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:22,109 - Best night ever. - Well, we'll chat later. 494 00:20:24,589 --> 00:20:26,200 - Are we going? - Yep. 495 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,071 [exhales] 496 00:20:28,071 --> 00:20:29,725 - We loved that so much. - That was so sick. 497 00:20:33,729 --> 00:20:35,339 [Bradley] Here's the reality, it's awkward no matter what. 498 00:20:35,339 --> 00:20:37,080 - Correct. - Like, vibing out. 499 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,822 This is the hometown, you know, team. 500 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:43,304 It may just breeze through an hour and just so, you know, don't be like, 501 00:20:43,304 --> 00:20:44,914 "Oh shit, there's 10 minutes" when that's-- 502 00:20:44,914 --> 00:20:48,222 Because you're, because I was thinking, if we did bring you out 503 00:20:48,222 --> 00:20:50,659 at minute 30, you're now obligated to talk about... 504 00:20:50,659 --> 00:20:52,661 What we're thinking, we just vibe it... 505 00:20:52,661 --> 00:20:54,837 That's what I'm saying, but I'm saying vibe it, don't go like 30... 506 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,448 We might save you for the cherry on top. 507 00:20:57,448 --> 00:20:58,797 If that, is what I'm saying. 508 00:20:58,797 --> 00:21:00,190 If it's going well, then like... 509 00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:01,365 No, no, no, no. Don't worry. 510 00:21:01,365 --> 00:21:02,801 - You're coming out. - You're coming out. 511 00:21:02,801 --> 00:21:04,629 - It's a question of when. - [Will] We're going to come out. 512 00:21:04,629 --> 00:21:06,849 Hey, listen, I've never really fully noticed this before until tonight. 513 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:07,980 How incredible this is. 514 00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:09,721 Your hair on the outside of your ears. 515 00:21:09,721 --> 00:21:11,288 No, it looks fucking great. 516 00:21:11,288 --> 00:21:12,289 Yeah, it goes over the ears, not-- 517 00:21:12,289 --> 00:21:14,161 - You look feral. - You should let it grow. 518 00:21:14,161 --> 00:21:15,118 - He looks fucking feral. - [Will] No, I like, I love it. It's incredible. 519 00:21:15,118 --> 00:21:16,163 You look feral as shit. 520 00:21:17,251 --> 00:21:18,948 You're the wild man in this trio. 521 00:21:18,948 --> 00:21:20,645 When are we, when are we walking? 522 00:21:20,645 --> 00:21:22,343 - [woman 3] At 10:05. - So, we got 10 minutes. 523 00:21:22,343 --> 00:21:25,302 So, it's just that I'm, I'm, I've been friends with these guys 524 00:21:25,302 --> 00:21:26,999 for 20 years, and he just wants to be a saint. 525 00:21:26,999 --> 00:21:28,523 Wanted to say hi... 526 00:21:28,523 --> 00:21:30,525 - [Will] He's just in the neighborhood. - We're so slammed. 527 00:21:39,086 --> 00:21:40,610 Kind of hope you run into a door again. 528 00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:41,959 Hey, hey... 529 00:21:41,959 --> 00:21:43,700 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I better just put out. 530 00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:45,440 Oh, no, no, no. Oh, my God, wait... 531 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:46,703 - [burping] - Oh, no. 532 00:21:48,748 --> 00:21:51,838 And I'm telling you, it's a good guest. 533 00:21:56,277 --> 00:21:59,716 Stuff's been a challenge for the last few years, but there are heroes 534 00:21:59,716 --> 00:22:03,154 out there that are working tirelessly to try to make it better. 535 00:22:03,154 --> 00:22:04,851 We got one of them here tonight. 536 00:22:04,851 --> 00:22:07,245 She's one of yours, New York. 537 00:22:07,245 --> 00:22:10,727 She's born in the Bronx, educated in Boston, lives a lot in D.C. 538 00:22:10,727 --> 00:22:14,905 And in fact, at 29, she was the youngest elected ever to the Congress. 539 00:22:14,905 --> 00:22:17,951 Guys, welcome Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. 540 00:22:17,951 --> 00:22:19,083 [crowd cheering and clapping] 541 00:22:19,083 --> 00:22:20,432 Woah! 542 00:22:20,432 --> 00:22:21,694 Oh! 543 00:22:23,609 --> 00:22:25,263 - [all cheering] - [Alexandria] Thank you for having me! 544 00:22:25,263 --> 00:22:27,178 This is crazy. 545 00:22:27,178 --> 00:22:29,963 I wish he brought on somebody with opinions. 546 00:22:29,963 --> 00:22:36,578 Well, first of all, how often do you get to live in your home city 547 00:22:36,578 --> 00:22:38,276 and versus living in D.C.? 548 00:22:38,276 --> 00:22:40,060 This is one of the most common questions I get asked. 549 00:22:40,060 --> 00:22:41,192 - Well. - It depends on the year... 550 00:22:41,192 --> 00:22:44,282 - Yup, off to a great start. - [crowd laughs] 551 00:22:44,282 --> 00:22:47,589 - Right now, it's about half and half because of COVID. - Yeah. 552 00:22:47,589 --> 00:22:50,244 Congress is able to vote by proxy. 553 00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:53,508 Is it like a, a, a button on Zoom, you just go, yes or no. 554 00:22:53,508 --> 00:22:54,727 It's yay. 555 00:22:54,727 --> 00:22:56,207 - I'm sorry. - It's yay or nay. 556 00:22:56,207 --> 00:23:00,385 [Alexandria] But imagine being a millennial in Congress 557 00:23:00,385 --> 00:23:03,997 and having all of your colleagues that have been there for decades 558 00:23:03,997 --> 00:23:05,782 trying to do Zoom for the first time... 559 00:23:05,782 --> 00:23:07,174 - Yeah. - Yeah. 560 00:23:07,174 --> 00:23:10,961 I swear, it's been a journey. 561 00:23:10,961 --> 00:23:13,572 [Will] How old were you when you did your first primary or whatever? 562 00:23:13,572 --> 00:23:15,661 You were like 27? 563 00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:17,054 I was 27 when I started... 564 00:23:17,054 --> 00:23:19,317 - That's crazy. - Yeah, that's... 565 00:23:19,317 --> 00:23:21,972 I mean, 27, Sean, you were making millions of dollars 566 00:23:21,972 --> 00:23:23,234 a year on Will and Grace. 567 00:23:25,410 --> 00:23:27,455 You know, like everybody's got humble beginnings, right Sean? 568 00:23:27,455 --> 00:23:30,328 Yeah, and by the way, and still renting. 569 00:23:30,328 --> 00:23:33,157 [Will] No. 570 00:23:33,157 --> 00:23:37,291 So, wait. Let's say there's a subject that you would like to pull one of the Republicans 571 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,902 over and meet in the middle. 572 00:23:38,902 --> 00:23:39,990 How does that happen? 573 00:23:39,990 --> 00:23:42,557 - Do you call... - Or do you text? 574 00:23:42,557 --> 00:23:43,994 "You up, let's meet in the middle." 575 00:23:43,994 --> 00:23:46,779 [Alexandria] A little bit of all of it. 576 00:23:46,779 --> 00:23:47,998 There are group chats, like that's... 577 00:23:47,998 --> 00:23:49,434 - [Will] Really? - Oh yeah, that's a thing. 578 00:23:49,434 --> 00:23:50,696 Oh, put me in one. 579 00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:52,698 - Yeah. [laughs] - Wait a minute, 580 00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:54,047 - that's a dick pic. - But sometimes... 581 00:23:54,047 --> 00:23:55,222 Yeah. 582 00:23:57,703 --> 00:24:00,662 But it is kind of like a high school cafeteria, where sometimes 583 00:24:00,662 --> 00:24:02,969 you're talking to somebody and somebody's like, 584 00:24:02,969 --> 00:24:05,798 "Well, you know, you should talk to that guy over there." 585 00:24:05,798 --> 00:24:09,671 And it's very informal in that way. 586 00:24:09,671 --> 00:24:11,978 God, I would do really well there. 587 00:24:11,978 --> 00:24:13,763 - [Alexandria laughing] - [crowd laughing] 588 00:24:13,763 --> 00:24:16,374 You know, there's rules about being on the House floor. 589 00:24:16,374 --> 00:24:18,332 You can't, you can't wear coats. 590 00:24:18,332 --> 00:24:21,335 Why? 591 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:25,426 You can't wear coats, you can't wear denim, you, until very recently, 592 00:24:25,426 --> 00:24:27,385 women could not wear sleeveless dresses. 593 00:24:27,385 --> 00:24:29,256 - Oh. - Oh, God. 594 00:24:29,256 --> 00:24:32,477 Yeah. It's just, you know, it's old school like that. 595 00:24:32,477 --> 00:24:33,913 So there's something called a cloakroom. 596 00:24:33,913 --> 00:24:36,524 - Oh, here we go. - Harry Potter. 597 00:24:36,524 --> 00:24:39,832 [Alexandria] Yes. There's a lot of Harry Potters out there... 598 00:24:39,832 --> 00:24:41,355 No, no, Sean, it's not Harry Potter shit. No. 599 00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:43,357 No, but he's right, it does sound dope as hell. 600 00:24:43,357 --> 00:24:45,446 [crowd cheering] 601 00:24:45,446 --> 00:24:48,667 Back in the day, uh, kind of, you know, 602 00:24:48,667 --> 00:24:50,930 in the 1800s and whatnot, members of Congress, 603 00:24:50,930 --> 00:24:52,149 they would drop their cloaks there. 604 00:24:52,149 --> 00:24:54,716 There used to be chests where you put it up 605 00:24:54,716 --> 00:24:57,676 and you pull out huge bottles of booze 606 00:24:57,676 --> 00:25:01,898 and put the booze in the thing, uh, before you went on the House floor. 607 00:25:01,898 --> 00:25:04,335 - Little booze cubby. - They don't have this anymore, but that's how it was. 608 00:25:04,335 --> 00:25:07,947 And so that's like this informal socializing space. 609 00:25:07,947 --> 00:25:11,429 And does it feel a little high school-ish where like, 610 00:25:11,429 --> 00:25:14,345 you know, there are people there that you don't get along with, 611 00:25:14,345 --> 00:25:16,434 they don't get along with you, 612 00:25:16,434 --> 00:25:19,263 they can go nameless. But I mean, like what happens when you pass her 613 00:25:19,263 --> 00:25:21,613 in the hallway, you know, like, 614 00:25:21,613 --> 00:25:25,051 is there a look, is there ever like, "Hey, you know what? 615 00:25:25,051 --> 00:25:27,314 - Let's hang out this weekend." - Yeah. 616 00:25:27,314 --> 00:25:29,055 "We can fix this together," and, you know? 617 00:25:29,055 --> 00:25:32,015 Some people, like, actually want to get to know each other. 618 00:25:32,015 --> 00:25:35,801 Um, but yeah, I mean, some I mean, listen, 619 00:25:35,801 --> 00:25:39,022 what happens is that you're sitting right next to a person, 620 00:25:39,022 --> 00:25:45,071 and it's a really bizarre experience because the reality in front of them 621 00:25:45,071 --> 00:25:47,944 is like completely divorced from the rhetoric 622 00:25:47,944 --> 00:25:51,208 and like all this other stuff that sometimes they go on TV and say. 623 00:25:51,208 --> 00:25:54,864 It's weird, but it's like completely divorced. 624 00:25:54,864 --> 00:25:56,953 - And there's this one member of Congress... - Who is it? 625 00:25:56,953 --> 00:25:58,563 - I won't say. - [audience laughing] 626 00:26:00,565 --> 00:26:02,915 He would call me or ask me a question or something, 627 00:26:02,915 --> 00:26:05,091 and I would walk over to th Republican side of the aisle, 628 00:26:05,091 --> 00:26:08,790 sit next to him and freak out all the other Republicans in the area. 629 00:26:08,790 --> 00:26:09,835 They'd be like... 630 00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:11,489 Mmm, mmm... 631 00:26:11,489 --> 00:26:14,884 And when January 6th happened, I just didn't really go over 632 00:26:14,884 --> 00:26:17,625 to that side of the aisle much anymore. 633 00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:21,673 And he was like, "Hey, Cortez, why don't you sit down and talk to me no more?" 634 00:26:21,673 --> 00:26:24,458 And I'm like, "Bro." 635 00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:25,851 [Jason] Yeah. 636 00:26:25,851 --> 00:26:27,722 Yeah, shit went down. 637 00:26:27,722 --> 00:26:29,899 Remember the bullet holes that were right there? 638 00:26:29,899 --> 00:26:31,465 - [Will] Yeah. - My God, like... 639 00:26:31,465 --> 00:26:33,293 Remember how you haven't denounced it once since the day? 640 00:26:33,293 --> 00:26:35,295 Yeah, like, why? 641 00:26:35,295 --> 00:26:36,906 Why? Like... 642 00:26:36,906 --> 00:26:38,298 [Sean] Right. 643 00:26:38,298 --> 00:26:41,345 Why did they all leave once they got in? 644 00:26:41,345 --> 00:26:43,869 Is it because they couldn't find you guys? 645 00:26:43,869 --> 00:26:45,479 They were hiding in the cloakroom. 646 00:26:45,479 --> 00:26:47,133 [crowd cheering] 647 00:26:47,133 --> 00:26:49,919 Did they leave because you guys were properly stowed away? 648 00:26:49,919 --> 00:26:51,529 [Alexandria] Well, like Harry Potter. 649 00:26:51,529 --> 00:26:53,270 - Yeah. - Like Hogwarts. 650 00:26:53,270 --> 00:26:54,488 [Jason] Now you got his attention. 651 00:26:54,488 --> 00:26:56,273 It's very Byzantine. 652 00:26:56,273 --> 00:26:58,666 It's actually really hard to navigate. 653 00:26:58,666 --> 00:27:01,060 Yeah, that was a crazy, crazy day. 654 00:27:01,060 --> 00:27:03,193 - And I think we all... we all remember-- - Oh, was it, Will? 655 00:27:03,193 --> 00:27:04,585 [crowd laughing] 656 00:27:06,065 --> 00:27:08,198 Well, we all remember where we were that day. 657 00:27:08,198 --> 00:27:09,764 Jason, do you remember, where you were? 658 00:27:09,764 --> 00:27:11,244 I was with you on the golf course. 659 00:27:11,244 --> 00:27:12,942 [crowd cheering] 660 00:27:14,421 --> 00:27:15,683 Why do you tell yourself... 661 00:27:15,683 --> 00:27:16,989 Well, why do you get on your high horse 662 00:27:16,989 --> 00:27:18,121 about it with me? 663 00:27:18,121 --> 00:27:20,123 Well, because you said it was a crazy day, 664 00:27:20,123 --> 00:27:22,647 like, we get it. 665 00:27:22,647 --> 00:27:25,650 Oh, oh, Sean, there's look, look at the epilepsy. 666 00:27:25,650 --> 00:27:27,260 The epilepsy is coming on. 667 00:27:27,260 --> 00:27:28,914 Just close your eyes, angel. 668 00:27:28,914 --> 00:27:30,829 We got a light flipping out. 669 00:27:30,829 --> 00:27:31,961 We got a light flicker... 670 00:27:31,961 --> 00:27:33,353 [Jason] Go tap it and it's gone... 671 00:27:33,353 --> 00:27:34,833 It's gone. 672 00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:37,140 Okay, so you're spending 99 percent of your time 673 00:27:37,140 --> 00:27:38,924 being super duper smart. 674 00:27:38,924 --> 00:27:40,665 What do you do to be a dumbass? 675 00:27:40,665 --> 00:27:43,581 Because work is so crazy and, and like, 676 00:27:43,581 --> 00:27:45,235 emotional, etc., 677 00:27:45,235 --> 00:27:48,673 I have to watch, like, dumb television. 678 00:27:48,673 --> 00:27:49,761 [Will] Yeah, yeah, please say Ozark. 679 00:27:49,761 --> 00:27:51,589 [crowd cheering] 680 00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:54,809 [Alexandria] No, like... 681 00:27:57,334 --> 00:27:59,684 [Jason] I like to watch great comedies. 682 00:27:59,684 --> 00:28:04,254 One of my favorite is a film that a mutual friend of ours is in. 683 00:28:04,254 --> 00:28:07,387 And this guy who is in one of my favorite 684 00:28:07,387 --> 00:28:11,609 comedy movies, comedy trilogies, um, it's not him. 685 00:28:11,609 --> 00:28:13,176 Oh, wait. 686 00:28:13,176 --> 00:28:14,916 But then, let's thank him, anyways. 687 00:28:14,916 --> 00:28:16,440 It is him. 688 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,182 [Jason] Ladies and gentlemen, Bradley Cooper. 689 00:28:20,139 --> 00:28:21,706 Ooh! 690 00:28:21,706 --> 00:28:23,969 [crowd cheering and clapping] 691 00:28:26,189 --> 00:28:27,842 Oh, Bradley... 692 00:28:27,842 --> 00:28:29,888 - [Bradley] I had to fix the light. - Oh, thank you very much. 693 00:28:29,888 --> 00:28:31,411 [Alexandria] That was a setup? 694 00:28:31,411 --> 00:28:33,370 No, I saw, I saw... 695 00:28:33,370 --> 00:28:35,328 - [Jason] Okay, that was so... - That was perfect. 696 00:28:36,808 --> 00:28:39,071 [Alexandria] Oh, my God. 697 00:28:39,071 --> 00:28:40,986 [Jason] So, Bradley called and he said, 698 00:28:40,986 --> 00:28:42,640 "I hear you guys are coming to town. 699 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,250 Let's all hang out." 700 00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:46,818 And we said, "Well, we're only in town for a few minutes." 701 00:28:46,818 --> 00:28:49,864 He said, "Well, let me come by and say hi before the show." 702 00:28:49,864 --> 00:28:51,736 And I said, "Well, no, then they're going to know the guest." 703 00:28:51,736 --> 00:28:53,172 I said, "The only time we got is on stage, 704 00:28:53,172 --> 00:28:54,782 so please come out and say hi." 705 00:28:54,782 --> 00:28:56,175 [Sean] Yeah. 706 00:28:56,175 --> 00:28:58,090 That's amazing. 707 00:28:59,439 --> 00:29:01,398 [Sean] We kicked off this whole tour in D.C. 708 00:29:01,398 --> 00:29:03,965 and it's like, wow, there's so much history 709 00:29:03,965 --> 00:29:06,272 and so much respect once you go there and see it... 710 00:29:06,272 --> 00:29:07,360 Yeah, man, it's the capitol. 711 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:08,970 No. 712 00:29:08,970 --> 00:29:10,102 [Will] Sean, Sean kept going. 713 00:29:10,102 --> 00:29:11,712 He kept going, he's on a tangent going, 714 00:29:11,712 --> 00:29:14,280 -"What is this place?" -"This is where they make the laws." 715 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,890 "This is where they make," and he's, like literally, 716 00:29:15,890 --> 00:29:17,283 "they make the laws there. 717 00:29:17,283 --> 00:29:18,458 They make the laws." 718 00:29:19,372 --> 00:29:20,721 Right? 719 00:29:20,721 --> 00:29:22,158 I mean, this, guys... 720 00:29:22,158 --> 00:29:23,115 And we're like, "Yeah, we know, man." 721 00:29:23,115 --> 00:29:24,334 I'm like this. 722 00:29:24,334 --> 00:29:26,162 [Bradley] I just want to say one thing. 723 00:29:26,162 --> 00:29:29,643 And these guys have all been gun slingers for 20 years. 724 00:29:29,643 --> 00:29:31,515 I mean, they used to talk about, like, our dreams 725 00:29:31,515 --> 00:29:33,212 and would we ever be able to fulfill them. 726 00:29:33,212 --> 00:29:34,996 [Alexandria] Yeah, I could only imagine 727 00:29:34,996 --> 00:29:38,217 how fulfilling it is to be able to celebrate 728 00:29:38,217 --> 00:29:41,133 a friend's victory when you know 729 00:29:41,133 --> 00:29:42,917 what they went through to get that. 730 00:29:42,917 --> 00:29:44,441 You know, you're not meeting someone 731 00:29:44,441 --> 00:29:48,358 at the peak when you've met someone when they were just, 732 00:29:48,358 --> 00:29:49,794 you know, at their lowest sometimes... 733 00:29:49,794 --> 00:29:51,578 I'm glad you mentioned Teen Wolf, too, because... 734 00:29:51,578 --> 00:29:53,406 [all laughing] 735 00:29:57,062 --> 00:29:59,630 That took a lot of guts. 736 00:29:59,630 --> 00:30:01,719 - Will, she never, she never said Teen Wolf. - She didn't say it? 737 00:30:01,719 --> 00:30:02,807 Okay. Forget it. 738 00:30:02,807 --> 00:30:04,113 Forget it. Forget it. Forget it. 739 00:30:04,113 --> 00:30:05,853 And that's how a bill becomes a law. 740 00:30:15,863 --> 00:30:17,213 [tender music playing] 741 00:30:19,780 --> 00:30:21,042 [Sean] Did you know that was Bradley? 742 00:30:21,042 --> 00:30:22,348 [Jason] I did not know that was... 743 00:30:22,348 --> 00:30:23,393 I tell you, we were standing there 744 00:30:23,393 --> 00:30:24,568 and he was, he was like... 745 00:30:24,568 --> 00:30:26,091 It took the crowd a minute. 746 00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:27,788 - To figure out who it was. - Yeah. 747 00:30:27,788 --> 00:30:29,007 Because I go take, I go... 748 00:30:29,007 --> 00:30:31,009 It took Jason a minute to figure out who it was. 749 00:30:31,009 --> 00:30:33,533 - Well, did they even-- - Well, by the way, you too, you started the intro, 750 00:30:33,533 --> 00:30:35,361 and then I see the guy's ass, and then I see 751 00:30:35,361 --> 00:30:37,058 Sean's reaction. I was like, "What the fuck?" 752 00:30:37,058 --> 00:30:39,496 And then I'm looking at him like, "Is this guy fucking for real." 753 00:30:39,496 --> 00:30:41,411 It literally was his boots and I am like, "Oh." 754 00:30:41,411 --> 00:30:42,716 Did they hear his name? 755 00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:44,457 Did they hear the intro or did they have to wait to see? 756 00:30:44,457 --> 00:30:45,806 - [Sean] I don't think they heard. - It seemed like it kinda went 757 00:30:45,806 --> 00:30:46,807 through the crowd. 758 00:30:46,807 --> 00:30:49,027 [woman speaking] 759 00:30:49,027 --> 00:30:50,376 [Will] Why are you sad? 760 00:30:50,376 --> 00:30:52,509 [woman speaking] 761 00:30:52,509 --> 00:30:54,511 Oh, okay. Sorry. 762 00:30:54,511 --> 00:30:56,730 - [woman speaking] - Thank you. 763 00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:58,428 - [woman] I can't wait to see your movie. - Oh, okay. 764 00:30:59,864 --> 00:31:01,822 [Will] Now, bye-bye, guys. 765 00:31:01,822 --> 00:31:05,304 Yeah, people that chase cars are, are bad news. 766 00:31:05,304 --> 00:31:08,612 I just came up from D.C., and I got AOC, boo. 767 00:31:08,612 --> 00:31:10,483 Like, what the fuck are these people talking about? 768 00:31:10,483 --> 00:31:12,355 - That's pretty sad. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 769 00:31:12,355 --> 00:31:14,966 It's a mystery guest, you get what you get 770 00:31:14,966 --> 00:31:16,010 and you don't get upset. 771 00:31:16,010 --> 00:31:17,360 - [Will] Yeah. - [laughs] 772 00:31:26,487 --> 00:31:28,663 [Sean] When we first started talking about this tour, 773 00:31:28,663 --> 00:31:30,230 I'm the idiot that was like, 774 00:31:30,230 --> 00:31:32,624 "Hey, do we need to put like a projection screen in the back?" 775 00:31:32,624 --> 00:31:35,148 And Sam said very sweetly, 776 00:31:35,148 --> 00:31:39,674 "You're forgetting that you three are enough. 777 00:31:39,674 --> 00:31:41,328 Like you three coming out, 778 00:31:41,328 --> 00:31:42,590 that's what they bought a ticket to see." 779 00:31:42,590 --> 00:31:43,896 How fucking wrong was he? 780 00:31:43,896 --> 00:31:46,115 And how about, how quickly did we buy it? 781 00:31:46,115 --> 00:31:47,247 [Will] Yeah, I know. 782 00:31:47,247 --> 00:31:48,422 Apparently we're not enough. 783 00:31:49,379 --> 00:31:51,164 We're canceling Madison. 784 00:31:51,164 --> 00:31:52,382 Hold on. 785 00:31:52,382 --> 00:31:54,297 Yeah. You wanted to cancel the entire show. 786 00:31:54,297 --> 00:31:55,385 I freaked out. 787 00:31:55,385 --> 00:31:57,126 [Jason] Well, because I triggered 788 00:31:57,126 --> 00:32:00,521 a reckoning that, that we went through by, by inviting 789 00:32:00,521 --> 00:32:04,568 what would be probably an unsurprising guest on the podcast. 790 00:32:04,568 --> 00:32:07,049 But on stage, there were some crickets, 791 00:32:07,049 --> 00:32:09,486 and, more importantly, some Twitter feedback 792 00:32:09,486 --> 00:32:11,097 that gave us a little scare. 793 00:32:11,097 --> 00:32:13,752 So we have thought about our upcoming guests. 794 00:32:13,752 --> 00:32:15,623 And you have made a pivot. 795 00:32:15,623 --> 00:32:17,016 Yes, to... 796 00:32:17,016 --> 00:32:18,321 - [Jason] Don't tell us. - No, no, I won't. 797 00:32:18,321 --> 00:32:19,714 I would never tell. 798 00:32:19,714 --> 00:32:20,759 [Jason] You made a pivot away from... 799 00:32:20,759 --> 00:32:23,283 Yeah, away from that to, to, to someone 800 00:32:23,283 --> 00:32:26,634 that would maybe as we're learning 801 00:32:26,634 --> 00:32:30,377 be an appeal to this particular tour that... 802 00:32:30,377 --> 00:32:33,989 Well, also just to understand the idea of, of bringing it 803 00:32:33,989 --> 00:32:35,991 making it more of a show as you had said, 804 00:32:35,991 --> 00:32:37,471 like making it more of a... 805 00:32:37,471 --> 00:32:41,431 I'd hate to put both us and her in a repeat 806 00:32:41,431 --> 00:32:43,651 situation and as we're, like you said, as we're learning. 807 00:32:43,651 --> 00:32:45,958 And in your process of that pivot, 808 00:32:45,958 --> 00:32:49,831 you ended up revealing to us who that guest was. 809 00:32:49,831 --> 00:32:51,572 You've talked to her since, have you? 810 00:32:51,572 --> 00:32:52,965 And how was she about it? 811 00:32:52,965 --> 00:32:54,662 - Fantastic. - [Jason] Really? 812 00:32:54,662 --> 00:32:57,491 Yeah, we were good friends, so she's like, totally yeah, 813 00:32:57,491 --> 00:32:58,753 like I'll just come on the podcast. 814 00:32:58,753 --> 00:33:00,407 - [Jason] Really? - [Sean] Yeah. 815 00:33:00,407 --> 00:33:02,539 - Pretty gracious of her. - Because I was thinking it might be semi-classy 816 00:33:02,539 --> 00:33:05,934 of us might be to follow up with a little email 817 00:33:05,934 --> 00:33:07,936 or text now that we know who the guest was. 818 00:33:07,936 --> 00:33:09,372 Who has time for a text? 819 00:33:11,810 --> 00:33:12,898 Then, I got to pick up my phone 820 00:33:12,898 --> 00:33:14,073 and I got a face ID and then I go... 821 00:33:14,073 --> 00:33:15,335 [mutters] 822 00:33:15,335 --> 00:33:16,553 what's the number? 823 00:33:16,553 --> 00:33:18,207 And then, I got to fucking like click, click, click... 824 00:33:18,207 --> 00:33:19,556 - Face ID. - And before you know. 825 00:33:19,556 --> 00:33:21,602 And it, it doesn't read because you're in a hat... 826 00:33:21,602 --> 00:33:23,735 Hey, I'm just saying this curling isn't going to watch itself, man. 827 00:33:24,823 --> 00:33:26,476 - [Sean] Curling. - [Jason] Sweep. 828 00:33:27,129 --> 00:33:28,435 [all] Sweep. 829 00:33:28,435 --> 00:33:32,526 Hurry, hurry hard, hurry, 830 00:33:32,526 --> 00:33:34,963 hard, hard, hard. 831 00:33:36,530 --> 00:33:37,705 Now leave it, 832 00:33:38,619 --> 00:33:40,360 leave it. 833 00:33:43,798 --> 00:33:45,887 Okay, I think I know what I want here. 834 00:33:45,887 --> 00:33:48,063 It's a Bibb lettuce salad. 835 00:33:48,063 --> 00:33:50,457 And one of the protein options is turkey meatballs. 836 00:33:50,457 --> 00:33:51,937 You ever had a meatball in a salad? 837 00:33:51,937 --> 00:33:53,286 No. In a salad? 838 00:33:53,286 --> 00:33:55,592 I'm going to do that. Maybe a poached egg in there, too. 839 00:33:56,898 --> 00:33:58,117 You're going to do all that? 840 00:33:58,117 --> 00:33:59,640 [Jason] Why, does that sound fatty? 841 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,207 Actually, I had three eggs this morning 842 00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:02,512 - so I'm not gonna do that. - Did you bring your fat jeans too? 843 00:34:02,512 --> 00:34:04,079 Yeah, I'm wearing them right now. 844 00:34:05,385 --> 00:34:07,343 Turkey meatballs. How about and salmon? 845 00:34:07,343 --> 00:34:09,215 - Or is that gross? - [Will] That's gross. 846 00:34:09,215 --> 00:34:10,607 [Jason] Do I want a smoothie on top of a salad, 847 00:34:10,607 --> 00:34:11,783 or is that a bomb? 848 00:34:11,783 --> 00:34:13,001 Get it. 849 00:34:15,003 --> 00:34:17,223 Because I don't want to shower again today. 850 00:34:17,223 --> 00:34:19,965 - You, what, here's an issue. -"Is that a bomb?" 851 00:34:19,965 --> 00:34:21,488 You don't need to shower every time. 852 00:34:21,488 --> 00:34:23,664 Not everybody in the world showers every time they 853 00:34:23,664 --> 00:34:25,448 - drop a deuce, man. - Get a smoothie, get a smoothie, so you have it. 854 00:34:25,448 --> 00:34:28,060 And if you're showering every time, then the problem's bigger. 855 00:34:28,060 --> 00:34:29,322 Yeah. 856 00:34:30,366 --> 00:34:31,977 Do you get some fingerling potatoes? 857 00:34:31,977 --> 00:34:34,414 I did, wait, nuts for nuts milkshake. 858 00:34:36,633 --> 00:34:37,896 [Will] Are you done? No? 859 00:34:37,896 --> 00:34:39,332 - You want it one more time? - Maybe. 860 00:34:39,332 --> 00:34:40,942 Let me just... I will just see if I can do this. 861 00:34:40,942 --> 00:34:42,291 Did you want a second lunch? 862 00:34:42,291 --> 00:34:43,205 Did... 863 00:34:49,429 --> 00:34:51,474 - All good, man? - Yeah. Sorry. 864 00:34:51,474 --> 00:34:53,041 How is your letter to the kitchen going? 865 00:34:53,041 --> 00:34:55,043 [all laughing] 866 00:34:55,043 --> 00:34:57,959 [Sean] It won't let me click the add order, add order. 867 00:34:59,439 --> 00:35:02,921 [Crystal speaking] 868 00:35:02,921 --> 00:35:06,011 Hi, Crystal. Um, we're trying to make a lunch order 869 00:35:06,011 --> 00:35:09,928 on one of the iPads up here in 2411, um, 870 00:35:09,928 --> 00:35:12,147 and it's not going through. 871 00:35:12,147 --> 00:35:13,801 So should I just kind of read it to you? 872 00:35:13,801 --> 00:35:17,761 - [Crystal speaking] - Okay. 873 00:35:17,761 --> 00:35:20,112 This is... God, I love it when they call me Mr. Umbguy. 874 00:35:21,765 --> 00:35:23,463 Her name on the thing is D... 875 00:35:23,463 --> 00:35:24,812 - [Jason] Umbguy. - Umbguy. 876 00:35:24,812 --> 00:35:27,075 - [Crystal speaking] - Yes, Mr. Umbguy. 877 00:35:27,075 --> 00:35:30,470 No, no, no, no, no. It is, it's, it's just, it's a, it's a fake name. 878 00:35:30,470 --> 00:35:34,822 And the first initial is D, and the, the hilarious joke is dumb guy. 879 00:35:34,822 --> 00:35:35,867 He's explaining it to the... 880 00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:37,738 [Crystal speaking] 881 00:35:37,738 --> 00:35:40,828 [Jason] Yes, okay, let's start with one Bibb lettuce salad, please. 882 00:35:42,221 --> 00:35:43,526 Add turkey meatballs. 883 00:35:43,526 --> 00:35:45,267 [Crystal speaking] 884 00:35:45,267 --> 00:35:47,530 [Jason] Okay, let's just add some chicken to it, please. 885 00:35:47,530 --> 00:35:49,054 [Crystal speaking] 886 00:35:49,054 --> 00:35:51,230 - And the dressing on the side, please. - [Crystal speaking] 887 00:35:51,230 --> 00:35:53,580 [Jason] Can we add one chocolate chip cookie... 888 00:35:53,580 --> 00:35:54,973 Oh, wait. 889 00:35:54,973 --> 00:35:56,104 Get a bunch of chocolate chip cookies. 890 00:35:56,104 --> 00:35:57,323 [Jason] Okay. 891 00:35:57,323 --> 00:35:59,760 Change that to four chocolate chip cookies. 892 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,545 Yeah, come on. We're all going to eat, everyone's going to have some. 893 00:36:02,545 --> 00:36:06,071 Yeah. I see an order here for braised short ribs. 894 00:36:06,071 --> 00:36:07,289 That's me. 895 00:36:07,289 --> 00:36:08,377 [Will chuckles] 896 00:36:11,641 --> 00:36:12,773 [Crystal speaking] 897 00:36:12,773 --> 00:36:15,994 And then I see a mistake here for a Caesar salad? 898 00:36:15,994 --> 00:36:18,083 [Sean] Caesar salad, chopped and tossed, please. No egg. 899 00:36:18,083 --> 00:36:20,128 The diner would like it chopped and tossed, please. 900 00:36:21,869 --> 00:36:26,178 I then have a smashed and herbed fingerling potatoes for... 901 00:36:26,178 --> 00:36:27,875 No, do they have French fries instead or no? 902 00:36:27,875 --> 00:36:29,137 Oh, the shit pig would like to know 903 00:36:29,137 --> 00:36:30,617 if you have French fries instead? 904 00:36:30,617 --> 00:36:33,315 - [Crystal speaking] - No. 905 00:36:33,315 --> 00:36:34,838 What about some truffles for the pig? 906 00:36:36,710 --> 00:36:37,885 That's a yes, no. 907 00:36:37,885 --> 00:36:39,452 No, regular fries, regular fries. 908 00:36:39,452 --> 00:36:41,628 - [Jason] Just regular French fries. - [Crystal speaking] 909 00:36:41,628 --> 00:36:44,805 [Jason] And, boy, someone would like an apple cranberry crumble. 910 00:36:44,805 --> 00:36:46,285 [Crystal speaking] 911 00:36:46,285 --> 00:36:50,419 And then, also a black and white cookie shake. 912 00:36:50,419 --> 00:36:51,986 [Crystal speaking] 913 00:36:51,986 --> 00:36:54,684 And then, um, we'd also like... 914 00:36:54,684 --> 00:36:56,686 ...a burger medium, well. 915 00:36:56,686 --> 00:36:58,166 [Crystal speaking] 916 00:36:58,166 --> 00:36:59,776 You need to get another piece of paper, I'll bet. 917 00:36:59,776 --> 00:37:01,517 - [Will] The pen ran out. - [Jason] Yeah, okay, we'll wait. 918 00:37:05,608 --> 00:37:07,262 They're tracking down another cow to slaughter. 919 00:37:09,482 --> 00:37:12,050 They've, they've got to hire another sous chef. 920 00:37:14,139 --> 00:37:16,141 - [Crystal speaking] - Okay. 921 00:37:18,665 --> 00:37:22,974 Yeah, no, we're going to go back to cow, um, a burger. 922 00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:24,497 - [Sean] Medium well. - Medium well. 923 00:37:24,497 --> 00:37:25,672 [Sean] Ketchup only. 924 00:37:25,672 --> 00:37:26,890 Ketchup only. 925 00:37:26,890 --> 00:37:28,936 - And nothing else on it. - And nothing else on it. 926 00:37:28,936 --> 00:37:30,068 But the ketchup comes on the side. 927 00:37:30,068 --> 00:37:31,808 - [Crystal speaking] - No cheese. 928 00:37:31,808 --> 00:37:33,593 So, he just wants a burger and bun. 929 00:37:33,593 --> 00:37:35,725 - With ketchup. - With ketchup, right. 930 00:37:35,725 --> 00:37:38,946 And, unless they have American cheese, American cheese. 931 00:37:38,946 --> 00:37:40,339 - [Jason] Do you have American? - [Crystal speaking] 932 00:37:43,907 --> 00:37:45,257 Make sure it's not Canadian. 933 00:37:45,257 --> 00:37:46,345 Fries. 934 00:37:46,345 --> 00:37:47,955 - [Sean] Regular fries. - So, regular fries. 935 00:37:47,955 --> 00:37:50,305 - [Sean] Diet Coke. - Diet Coke. 936 00:37:50,305 --> 00:37:53,004 [Crystal speaking] 937 00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:53,874 Right American cheese on it. 938 00:37:53,874 --> 00:37:55,049 [Crystal speaking] 939 00:37:55,049 --> 00:37:56,616 Yeah, I think American... 940 00:37:56,616 --> 00:37:58,966 [Crystal speaking] 941 00:37:58,966 --> 00:38:00,141 [Jason] Go for it. 942 00:38:00,141 --> 00:38:01,490 [Crystal speaking] 943 00:38:01,490 --> 00:38:02,839 - No, no. - [Jason] No other toppings. 944 00:38:02,839 --> 00:38:04,406 [Crystal speaking] 945 00:38:04,406 --> 00:38:05,973 - Zero. - [Crystal speaking] 946 00:38:08,323 --> 00:38:10,412 - Uh, Diet Coke. - Diet Coke, yes. 947 00:38:10,412 --> 00:38:12,371 Ironically enough and then the fellow 948 00:38:12,371 --> 00:38:14,460 that ordered the black and white cookie shake, 949 00:38:14,460 --> 00:38:17,071 the braised short ribs, the apple cranberry crumble, 950 00:38:17,071 --> 00:38:19,595 would like a full sugar Coca Cola. 951 00:38:19,595 --> 00:38:21,597 [cackles] 952 00:38:24,861 --> 00:38:27,734 This order is taking so long, it's, it's dinner now. 953 00:38:27,734 --> 00:38:30,911 You don't have any chess paddles down there, do you? 954 00:38:30,911 --> 00:38:32,391 - [Crystal speaking] - [Jason] Okay. 955 00:38:32,391 --> 00:38:34,871 If you find any before you send up the cart, 956 00:38:34,871 --> 00:38:36,308 could you include? 957 00:38:36,308 --> 00:38:38,049 [Crystal speaking] 958 00:38:42,314 --> 00:38:43,402 [Will] Hi. 959 00:38:46,666 --> 00:38:47,971 Hi, papa. 960 00:38:47,971 --> 00:38:48,929 [Will] Come, give me a hug. 961 00:38:50,148 --> 00:38:51,236 Come. 962 00:38:51,236 --> 00:38:52,411 [baby babbling] 963 00:38:52,411 --> 00:38:53,716 We'll look out the window. 964 00:38:53,716 --> 00:38:55,544 [Alexander] Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 965 00:38:55,544 --> 00:38:56,937 [Will] Okay. [kissing] 966 00:38:56,937 --> 00:38:58,504 By the way, do you want to have a little bit of treat? 967 00:38:58,504 --> 00:38:59,635 Yeah. 968 00:38:59,635 --> 00:39:01,289 Okay. [kissing] 969 00:39:05,685 --> 00:39:06,773 Heart melter. 970 00:39:10,820 --> 00:39:12,170 Mmm. 971 00:39:16,304 --> 00:39:18,176 You're going to fill up on the short rib 972 00:39:18,176 --> 00:39:20,743 and not have enough of your salad. 973 00:39:20,743 --> 00:39:22,528 I thought you were going to say not enough room for my shake. 974 00:39:22,528 --> 00:39:24,356 [Will] Whose shoes are those? 975 00:39:24,356 --> 00:39:25,618 [Alexander] Ah! 976 00:39:25,618 --> 00:39:26,836 You're walking, and you're so big! 977 00:39:30,449 --> 00:39:31,580 [Will] Okay, ready? 978 00:39:31,580 --> 00:39:32,755 [Alexander] Yay! 979 00:39:32,755 --> 00:39:34,017 Okay. I have a normal drink. 980 00:39:34,017 --> 00:39:35,236 Okay. Here we go. 981 00:39:35,236 --> 00:39:38,326 Oh, oh, what the heck? 982 00:39:38,326 --> 00:39:39,936 Deni, you're going to have a drink? 983 00:39:39,936 --> 00:39:41,373 [Alexander] Yeah. 984 00:39:41,373 --> 00:39:42,330 Okay, let's see. 985 00:39:44,811 --> 00:39:46,029 Wa, wa, wa... 986 00:39:46,029 --> 00:39:47,988 Well, wa, wa, wa... 987 00:39:47,988 --> 00:39:50,382 Oh, you got it, I know sometimes, it is embarrassing when you do a bit. 988 00:39:51,948 --> 00:39:53,559 [kissing] 989 00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:54,777 [Will] Did you poop? 990 00:39:54,777 --> 00:39:56,649 - [Alexander] Yeah. - [Will] Yeah. 991 00:39:56,649 --> 00:39:57,737 Pee-ew. 992 00:39:58,955 --> 00:40:00,131 [Sean] Does the baby need a shower?