1 00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:35,579 Wait a second. 2 00:00:35,579 --> 00:00:37,248 There's a recording device under here. 3 00:00:37,248 --> 00:00:38,649 Oh, is there really? 4 00:00:38,649 --> 00:00:40,417 You're not even playing. 5 00:00:48,692 --> 00:00:49,593 ♪ Smart ♪ 6 00:00:50,294 --> 00:00:51,128 ♪ Less ♪ 7 00:00:54,898 --> 00:00:55,799 ♪ Smart ♪ 8 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:57,301 ♪ Less ♪ 9 00:01:10,181 --> 00:01:11,648 Sean, too rock-n-roll? 10 00:01:11,648 --> 00:01:12,783 Do I look like-- 11 00:01:12,783 --> 00:01:15,186 ♪ No-no-no... No, no, no... ♪ 12 00:01:15,186 --> 00:01:16,487 ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ 13 00:01:18,355 --> 00:01:19,990 They're doing a remake of Pretty Women, 14 00:01:19,990 --> 00:01:21,958 but with the guy. So, he's the guy. 15 00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:23,827 But do I look like Chrissie Hynde? 16 00:01:23,827 --> 00:01:25,496 I don't wanna look like Chrissie Hynde. 17 00:01:25,496 --> 00:01:26,563 You look like one of those things, 18 00:01:26,563 --> 00:01:28,332 like you come in, with your shades on, you go... 19 00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:31,202 ♪ Oh, yeah... Ba-da-ba-bum ♪ 20 00:01:33,204 --> 00:01:34,805 ♪ Ba-da-ba-ba-bum ♪ 21 00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:37,208 ♪ Chik... chik... kah ♪ 22 00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:41,678 I wear what I'm told. 23 00:01:41,678 --> 00:01:44,381 ♪ Na-na-na... Cool dad ♪ 24 00:01:44,381 --> 00:01:47,718 ♪ Da-da-da... I'm young ♪ 25 00:01:50,754 --> 00:01:52,456 So, I'm trying to figure out 26 00:01:52,456 --> 00:01:54,291 should I bring my sister on first? 27 00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:55,226 Should I bring her in the middle? 28 00:01:55,226 --> 00:01:56,627 Should I bring her in the end? 29 00:01:56,627 --> 00:01:58,028 Does she wanna come out at all? 30 00:01:58,028 --> 00:01:59,630 My guess is, she doesn't wanna do any of it. 31 00:01:59,630 --> 00:02:02,032 She just wants to wave and say, "Hello" if anything. 32 00:02:02,032 --> 00:02:03,900 But I'm gonna try and convince her to come out and maybe do 33 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:05,236 little bit at the top. But if I... 34 00:02:05,236 --> 00:02:07,604 If I lead them to believe 35 00:02:07,604 --> 00:02:09,906 that she's actually the mystery guest, 36 00:02:09,906 --> 00:02:11,642 I feel like they may go on too long. 37 00:02:11,642 --> 00:02:13,277 They may be so enthralled 38 00:02:13,277 --> 00:02:16,613 with beating the shit out of me in the best way... 39 00:02:16,613 --> 00:02:20,784 that I can't get in there to get her... you know what I mean? 40 00:02:20,784 --> 00:02:23,620 Wait, are you doing a private testimonial? 41 00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,889 Yeah. I've been doing them this entire time. 42 00:02:25,889 --> 00:02:27,791 You like that stuff? 43 00:02:27,791 --> 00:02:29,092 No, I don't want them to think that 44 00:02:29,092 --> 00:02:30,627 - we were rude and we didn't try everything. - Yeah. 45 00:02:32,028 --> 00:02:33,930 - Mmm-hmm. Oh, wow. - These are so good. 46 00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:35,866 Just half? Samuel? 47 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,269 You already put it in your mouth. 48 00:02:38,269 --> 00:02:39,970 - Yeah, I'm not gonna eat that. - Why would you eat that? 49 00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:41,004 Mmm... 50 00:02:43,874 --> 00:02:44,908 I'll give you one anyway. 51 00:02:44,908 --> 00:02:47,344 Did you wear any of this before? 52 00:02:48,345 --> 00:02:49,780 And it's all in black. 53 00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:51,114 Shoes and pants. 54 00:02:51,114 --> 00:02:53,317 - It's what? All black? - Mmm-hmm. 55 00:02:53,317 --> 00:02:55,185 - Good for you. - You want all black like that? 56 00:02:55,286 --> 00:02:56,320 Well, why not? I mean... 57 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,088 like there was a navy work in there. 58 00:02:58,088 --> 00:02:59,590 These are actually olive pants... 59 00:02:59,590 --> 00:03:01,625 - Mmm-hmm. - ...that were... 60 00:03:02,058 --> 00:03:03,059 on the sheet. 61 00:03:04,295 --> 00:03:05,996 And, um... 62 00:03:05,996 --> 00:03:07,531 - I don't think it was happening. - Mmm-hmm. 63 00:03:07,531 --> 00:03:09,165 And brown boots... 64 00:03:09,165 --> 00:03:10,867 The brown boots have no tread. 65 00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:13,069 And since we're going into weather, 66 00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:14,771 I thought, I don't wanna fall on my ass. 67 00:03:14,771 --> 00:03:16,106 The, um... 68 00:03:16,907 --> 00:03:18,442 So you don't want this last one? 69 00:03:18,442 --> 00:03:21,011 The brown shoes with the whole black outfit, 70 00:03:21,011 --> 00:03:23,314 that would've been a nightmare. 71 00:03:25,782 --> 00:03:27,083 Is that your second one? 72 00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,719 Yeah. There's a whole other bag of 'em. 73 00:03:29,753 --> 00:03:32,022 - You needed two? - I did. 74 00:03:32,022 --> 00:03:34,458 - One didn't do it? - No. 75 00:03:34,458 --> 00:03:37,928 I'm going on stage. I need to watch my weight. 76 00:03:37,928 --> 00:03:40,397 I feel like I've put on some weight on this tour. 77 00:03:40,397 --> 00:03:42,866 My body dysmorphia... 78 00:03:42,866 --> 00:03:44,835 which has been aided by my friend... 79 00:03:46,503 --> 00:03:47,671 Yeah, I'm sorry. 80 00:03:48,472 --> 00:03:49,573 Um... 81 00:03:50,941 --> 00:03:51,975 ...is pretty bad. 82 00:03:53,444 --> 00:03:55,479 I'm a pig. He's right. 83 00:03:56,513 --> 00:03:58,081 I'm an animal. 84 00:03:58,081 --> 00:04:00,817 And I barely deserve to be on this planet. 85 00:04:00,817 --> 00:04:02,786 - Yeah, I need to lose, like, ten pounds. - No. 86 00:04:02,786 --> 00:04:04,521 - No, I do. I do. - I don't think so. 87 00:04:04,521 --> 00:04:06,723 But you know, I got three kids... 88 00:04:06,723 --> 00:04:08,659 The way they eat... the kind of food that they like... 89 00:04:08,659 --> 00:04:10,361 I'd do a pretty good job, but also... 90 00:04:10,361 --> 00:04:13,063 I don't wanna be depriving them of... 91 00:04:14,731 --> 00:04:16,733 fun and being a kid and having... 92 00:04:16,733 --> 00:04:20,070 Yeah, fruit loops is so fun. 93 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,673 'Cause I don't want... they're gonna have eating disorders 94 00:04:22,673 --> 00:04:25,376 and have a lot of issues with it. 95 00:04:25,376 --> 00:04:27,243 And their relationship with food will be fucked up. 96 00:04:27,243 --> 00:04:29,145 You don't think eating healthy 97 00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:31,415 can exist without an eating disorder? 98 00:04:31,415 --> 00:04:34,017 It can. But it's a lot of talking about it. 99 00:04:35,018 --> 00:04:36,753 Well, sometimes, it takes repetition 100 00:04:36,753 --> 00:04:37,854 to really grind it in. 101 00:04:37,854 --> 00:04:39,390 I know I need it. 102 00:04:39,390 --> 00:04:41,024 Okay, Great Santini. 103 00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:48,532 Hi, come on in. 104 00:04:51,402 --> 00:04:52,603 Oh, I forgot this. 105 00:04:52,603 --> 00:04:53,704 Bye, thank you. 106 00:04:54,905 --> 00:04:56,239 Hey, I got a look at your sheets. 107 00:04:56,239 --> 00:04:58,008 I hope left a tip for that. 108 00:04:58,008 --> 00:04:59,410 Yeah, I put it on your card. 109 00:05:00,844 --> 00:05:01,845 Hi. 110 00:05:03,814 --> 00:05:05,616 - Hilarious. - Really funny. 111 00:05:06,049 --> 00:05:07,283 Um... 112 00:05:07,283 --> 00:05:08,819 I find myself in a really good rhythm 113 00:05:08,819 --> 00:05:09,820 with this travel thing. 114 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:11,488 I usually don't like traveling, 115 00:05:11,988 --> 00:05:13,424 but... 116 00:05:13,424 --> 00:05:16,860 checking in, checking out, zipping up, zipping out... 117 00:05:16,860 --> 00:05:18,762 - Um... - What, when... 118 00:05:18,762 --> 00:05:21,632 on tour, you really, how you don't do anything? 119 00:05:21,632 --> 00:05:23,967 I guess that's the part that's feeling kind of smooth. 120 00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:26,837 By the way, you know we're on LSD, right? 121 00:05:26,837 --> 00:05:28,639 - Right now? Still. - Yeah. Like short drive. 122 00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:31,141 Oh, God. Thank God. 123 00:05:31,141 --> 00:05:33,176 You got me so worried that I as on acid. 124 00:05:34,545 --> 00:05:35,679 Huh... 125 00:05:38,048 --> 00:05:39,450 - Hello. - Hi. 126 00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:40,884 I haven't sat in this seat yet. 127 00:05:40,884 --> 00:05:42,152 - Oh... - Thank you. 128 00:05:42,152 --> 00:05:43,720 - Huh... - Is the flight only half an hour? 129 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,221 - Yeah. - If that. 130 00:05:45,221 --> 00:05:47,891 And we're not getting higher than 300 feet off the ground. 131 00:05:47,891 --> 00:05:49,192 We're actually taking the highway. 132 00:05:54,264 --> 00:05:56,700 So, I go to Safari 133 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,034 and I just type in Wordle. 134 00:05:59,536 --> 00:06:01,237 Every time. 135 00:06:01,237 --> 00:06:02,673 "A daily word game." 136 00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:12,749 Oh, work it, Will. 137 00:06:12,749 --> 00:06:14,250 Really concentrate, bro 138 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,720 and see if you can figure it out. 139 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:18,288 He thinks that if he thinks hard enough, 140 00:06:18,288 --> 00:06:19,490 it'll come to him 141 00:06:19,490 --> 00:06:21,492 what the five-letter word is today. 142 00:06:23,159 --> 00:06:24,495 Stupid ass. 143 00:06:25,762 --> 00:06:26,963 Just start with something. 144 00:06:27,798 --> 00:06:28,699 Oof... 145 00:06:29,365 --> 00:06:30,734 Not a good start. 146 00:06:30,734 --> 00:06:32,669 I got one in the wrong place. 147 00:06:32,669 --> 00:06:34,337 I got two in the wrong place. 148 00:06:34,337 --> 00:06:36,840 And now I have three all in the wrong place. 149 00:06:39,776 --> 00:06:41,512 I'm doing real bad. 150 00:06:41,512 --> 00:06:42,946 Guys, I got it in five. 151 00:06:42,946 --> 00:06:44,515 Does anybody want hints? 152 00:06:44,515 --> 00:06:46,216 Ah, fuck. I got it in four, but... 153 00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:48,251 What? 154 00:06:48,251 --> 00:06:49,953 Oh, I did this one last night. 155 00:06:49,953 --> 00:06:51,955 And I didn't remember it took me four tries. 156 00:06:52,989 --> 00:06:54,357 You guys both got it in four? 157 00:06:54,858 --> 00:06:56,192 Yeah. 158 00:06:56,192 --> 00:06:58,829 Well, I'm new at this. Watch your soda pop. 159 00:06:58,829 --> 00:07:00,130 Guys, we're blasting off. 160 00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:02,032 Guys, we're blasting. 161 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,335 And welcome to Madison. 162 00:07:10,106 --> 00:07:11,207 Thanks, guys. 163 00:07:14,911 --> 00:07:16,379 - Hello... good. How are ya? - Hi, how are you? 164 00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:18,281 - I'm Sean. - Oh, look at this. 165 00:07:26,657 --> 00:07:28,058 Oh, my God. 166 00:07:30,393 --> 00:07:31,461 Who me? 167 00:07:31,562 --> 00:07:33,730 What? 168 00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:36,867 - Sean, you have pulled up the Waze... - On the Waze... 169 00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:38,101 ...you are on a bus. 170 00:07:38,569 --> 00:07:39,736 Hmm... 171 00:07:39,736 --> 00:07:42,138 It is an exercise in powerlessness, Sean. 172 00:07:42,138 --> 00:07:44,374 No, I know. Yeah. Okay. 173 00:07:52,015 --> 00:07:54,450 So glad we didn't do three hours in here, I'm already carsick. 174 00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:55,952 Yeah, I know. 175 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,121 It's a nice bus. 176 00:07:58,121 --> 00:07:59,656 How much further do we have, Sean? 177 00:07:59,656 --> 00:08:00,857 12 minutes. 178 00:08:04,227 --> 00:08:06,129 What if I open this and somebody was in there? 179 00:08:06,129 --> 00:08:08,164 - Like your dad? - Oh, God. 180 00:08:08,164 --> 00:08:10,601 Oi. Where are you based out of? 181 00:08:11,602 --> 00:08:13,637 Oh, yeah? 182 00:08:13,637 --> 00:08:15,171 Where did you sleep last night? 183 00:08:15,171 --> 00:08:17,140 At a hotel just south of Chicago. 184 00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:18,675 Why didn't you just sleep in here? 185 00:08:20,143 --> 00:08:21,211 No shower in here? 186 00:08:23,013 --> 00:08:24,214 Ah... 187 00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:26,416 - I get it. - There's the capital building. 188 00:08:26,416 --> 00:08:29,019 The famous Madison Capital. 189 00:08:29,019 --> 00:08:31,622 It's the capital of Wisconsin, you fucking moron. 190 00:08:38,028 --> 00:08:41,231 These are the longest ten minutes in the world. Right? 191 00:08:42,298 --> 00:08:44,000 A watched pot never boils. 192 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,902 - Five minutes. - What did he say? 193 00:08:45,902 --> 00:08:46,937 Bang! 194 00:08:47,971 --> 00:08:49,039 That's how quick. 195 00:08:49,039 --> 00:08:50,540 You notice I went right for the end of the chin, 196 00:08:50,641 --> 00:08:51,742 the furthest point from the top of the head. 197 00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:55,011 That's how you knock a guy out. 198 00:08:55,011 --> 00:08:57,013 This is what they taught you in fight camp? 199 00:08:57,013 --> 00:08:58,782 No, this is what they taught me in life. 200 00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:03,019 There's a frozen lake. 201 00:09:04,888 --> 00:09:07,457 Huh? Which lake is that, smart guy? 202 00:09:07,457 --> 00:09:09,860 This is Lake Mendota. 203 00:09:09,860 --> 00:09:11,662 - Is it one of the Great Lakes? - No. 204 00:09:12,729 --> 00:09:15,165 Is it in the Great Lake system? 205 00:09:15,165 --> 00:09:16,667 Lake Mendota. No... 206 00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:17,901 - Great Lakes? - ...like this. 207 00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:22,438 No, the Great Lakes are to the east of here. 208 00:09:22,438 --> 00:09:23,874 And that would be Michigan 209 00:09:23,874 --> 00:09:26,309 and also to the north of here would be Superior. 210 00:09:29,145 --> 00:09:31,347 And we're definitely not in, like, a big city. 211 00:09:33,216 --> 00:09:34,718 Should we push the show back, maybe? 212 00:09:37,153 --> 00:09:39,055 Nothing would make traveling more exciting. 213 00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:46,319 These guys are out there 214 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,721 - fishing a bit. - Are they? 215 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,723 Those two fellows are deep. 216 00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:53,259 Oh, fuck. 217 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,927 We got bass. We got perch. 218 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,895 We got fucking Northern pike. 219 00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:58,831 We got fucking it all, eh? 220 00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:02,268 Yeah, really fat fish swimming this time of year. 221 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,569 Like, I'll tell you what, 222 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:04,803 you get on your snow machine, 223 00:10:04,803 --> 00:10:07,173 you can get out there and get going pretty good, you know? 224 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,208 That's for sure. 225 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,376 You hungry, Scotty? 226 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:11,377 Look what I prepared for you. 227 00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,778 Oh, thank you. Welcome. 228 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,413 Edgewater... 229 00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,282 Edgewater. We're out on the edge of the water. Do you get it? 230 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,786 Oh, people are walking right there. 231 00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:24,357 Let's get out there. 232 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,624 Have you ever walked to the lake before? 233 00:10:25,624 --> 00:10:27,126 - No. Have you? - Yeah. 234 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,627 I don't need the yeah. 235 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,764 It's the best. 236 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:33,031 Well, let's do it. 237 00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:34,733 When would we get another chance? 238 00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:37,035 You guys, we're at the edge of the water. 239 00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:39,238 Look at all the people walking out here on the ice. 240 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:40,973 Oh, my God. They're walking on the ice? 241 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,141 What are they doing? 242 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,142 Why would they do this? 243 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,610 Look. There're stairs right there. 244 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,245 It's part of the hotel. 245 00:10:47,946 --> 00:10:49,682 I mean, they got hockey nets out there. 246 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:51,550 Fuckin' where? oh, fuck... 247 00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:54,119 They got a rink out there. Oh, shit. 248 00:10:54,119 --> 00:10:55,621 Let's check it out there and walk. 249 00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:56,855 I'm going out there and walking. 250 00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,394 Did we press the right one? 251 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,296 You pressed one? Oh, you did! 252 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,797 Oh... 253 00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:08,066 You got your sunglasses on for a fucking arctic day? 254 00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:10,203 There hasn't been sun here for a week. 255 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,837 'Cause I didn't want to get that look. 256 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,672 Which is this shit look. 257 00:11:17,976 --> 00:11:20,012 Sean. Back me up on this. 258 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,484 Oh... 259 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,486 - Is this correct? - Yeah. 260 00:11:27,486 --> 00:11:30,523 No. Not one, you dummy. 261 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,725 Well, where does everyone else 262 00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:34,227 put their bottom floor? 263 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,262 What? 264 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,765 Where was the main floor that we got off? 265 00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,234 Oh, the star, the six... 266 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,936 - Seven. - That's why it was a short elevator ride. 267 00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:46,372 - You're so dumb. - Yeah... well... 268 00:11:48,907 --> 00:11:51,043 Oh, my God. I can smell how dumb you are. 269 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,011 Six. 270 00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:55,414 Who builds the first floor at number six? 271 00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:57,316 - 'Cause it's on a hill. - Oh, yes. 272 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,956 - Four. - Oh, my gosh. 273 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:06,492 I've never gotten off one elevator... 274 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:08,361 so many times. 275 00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,696 Three... big idiots. 276 00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:14,767 Why wouldn't you bring your gloves on this? 277 00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,602 I know. They're in my bag. 278 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,905 I really hope one of us falls on the ice. 279 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:22,575 I really hope one of us doesn't. 280 00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:30,182 Hi. Which way do we go for a lake-walk? 281 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,550 A lake-walk. Absolutely. 282 00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:33,085 Like on to the ice? 283 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,556 And it's safe? 284 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:41,894 Look at this. 285 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:43,996 Guys, I'm cold. 286 00:12:46,064 --> 00:12:48,200 You got really good shoes on for this, Willie. 287 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,468 Yup. 288 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:51,737 Plus, I'm not a pussy, 'cause I'm Canadian. 289 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:55,207 By the way, this place is fucking rad. 290 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,310 I bet in the summer, this will be a great spot to sit down 291 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,345 and have a couple of cold ones, bud. 292 00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:03,816 Wow, this is pretty cool. 293 00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,320 Smash cut. 294 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,755 Send me the rope! 295 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:12,325 Just throw the rope! 296 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,327 I can't feel... 297 00:13:16,161 --> 00:13:17,863 Oh, my God. Can you imagine? 298 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,401 This doesn't scare you? 299 00:13:22,401 --> 00:13:24,770 Yeah. Wait till I fall on my ass 300 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,439 in my dumbass boots. 301 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:31,209 Leave you hands available for slipping. 302 00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,347 This is so scary. 303 00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:37,983 Hang out and play with the crack right there. 304 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:40,419 - Oh, I do that every night. - Hey-oh. 305 00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,457 Wait, we're walking on the lake. 306 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,724 This is so crazy. 307 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,527 It's wet. 308 00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,095 It's pretty frozen. 309 00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:52,665 What is that game over there? What is that thing? 310 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,132 - Hockey. - It is? 311 00:13:54,132 --> 00:13:55,568 Why is it wet? 312 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,670 - Does that mean it's thinner? - Yeah, 'cause they fucking... 313 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,137 smooth is over or whatever. 314 00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:00,373 How do you smooth it? 315 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,907 Does that mean when you walk on there, you fall in? 316 00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:03,376 Probably not. 317 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:04,743 Let's go, check it out, Sean. 318 00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,413 I don't wanna keep walking that way. 319 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,281 Are you nervous? 320 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,717 Yeah, I don't wanna walk where it's slushy. 321 00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:12,985 We're in the middle of the fucking lake. 322 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,160 What a bully. 323 00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:26,732 Oh, God. 324 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,210 No. No. 325 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,478 It's your turn, sister. 326 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:41,814 No, I talk my problems out. 327 00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,115 I gotta go. Freezing. 328 00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,550 - Where you going? - It's cold! 329 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,485 Yeah, let's not ruin a good thing, all right? 330 00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,421 - Oh, that's it? - Congrats, guys. 331 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:51,490 The term is "Indoor Cats". 332 00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:53,792 Wait. Everybody stop for a second. 333 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:56,261 - Okay. - We need dance music. 334 00:14:56,261 --> 00:14:57,496 Scotty, can you help? 335 00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:00,799 This is the dance move my sister taught me 336 00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:03,035 before my fourth grade dance. 337 00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:05,438 And then when I got out on the dance floor, 338 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,973 the girl said, "Is that the only step you know?" 339 00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,908 She walked off the dance floor 340 00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:11,844 - and I've never danced since. - Oh... 341 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:13,078 - Is that true? - That's a true story. 342 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,580 - Really? - ♪ Everybody dance now ♪ 343 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,122 ♪ Give me the music ♪ 344 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,226 ♪ Give me the music ♪ 345 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,597 ♪ Everybody dance now ♪ 346 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,771 I can't. Okay, we're done. 347 00:15:43,965 --> 00:15:45,133 Let's see how this guy did. 348 00:15:47,402 --> 00:15:49,537 Oh yeah, Okay. Well, we're gonna get you out there. 349 00:15:49,537 --> 00:15:51,272 This and that and that. 350 00:15:51,272 --> 00:15:52,573 And that. 351 00:15:54,142 --> 00:15:55,776 To be able to do that all... 352 00:15:55,776 --> 00:15:57,312 at a nuclear power plant... 353 00:15:59,447 --> 00:16:01,682 By the way, he's holding the Norwegian flag 354 00:16:01,682 --> 00:16:02,650 as he does it. 355 00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,754 - We got food coming. - Did you order? 356 00:16:09,991 --> 00:16:11,492 I got a salad. 357 00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:12,727 I sure did. 358 00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:21,302 Do you know the expression, "Can't win"? 359 00:16:21,302 --> 00:16:22,337 Yeah. 360 00:16:26,141 --> 00:16:28,376 By the way, she said 06:45 361 00:16:28,376 --> 00:16:29,477 and it's 06:45. 362 00:16:29,477 --> 00:16:30,845 Now, thank you, professor. 363 00:16:34,349 --> 00:16:36,817 "According to my calculations 364 00:16:36,817 --> 00:16:39,020 Madison should have never been built." 365 00:16:40,388 --> 00:16:42,991 "Uh... The table water level 366 00:16:42,991 --> 00:16:46,094 is much too high, I said." 367 00:16:46,094 --> 00:16:47,963 - Oh, my gosh. - Oh, my God. There she is. 368 00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,068 Hold on. 369 00:17:02,377 --> 00:17:04,645 What are we gonna find out that you dripped... 370 00:17:04,645 --> 00:17:06,214 into tonight? 371 00:17:17,325 --> 00:17:19,727 That's what... here's your fried chicken salad. 372 00:17:20,461 --> 00:17:21,829 Oh... 373 00:17:21,829 --> 00:17:23,131 That's such an oxymoron. 374 00:17:23,131 --> 00:17:24,499 He didn't ask me what kind of salad 375 00:17:24,499 --> 00:17:26,801 - and I was just waiting... - Oh, look they put a funny... 376 00:17:26,801 --> 00:17:28,203 cock on your thing. 377 00:17:28,203 --> 00:17:31,006 - You know, it's W-A-asshole. - They think you're a dickhead. 378 00:17:33,874 --> 00:17:36,311 When you order fried chicken salad, 379 00:17:36,311 --> 00:17:37,878 it's gotta be a dickhead. 380 00:17:37,878 --> 00:17:40,081 Hey, fuck off, dude. 381 00:17:42,317 --> 00:17:44,119 You don't need to turn it over, by the way. 382 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,187 Thank you. Thank you. 383 00:17:46,187 --> 00:17:47,355 I'm not gonna turn it over. 384 00:17:48,089 --> 00:17:49,224 Only thing I'm turning over 385 00:17:49,224 --> 00:17:50,625 is my will to the power of God. 386 00:17:50,625 --> 00:17:51,892 Thank you so much. 387 00:17:51,892 --> 00:17:53,194 - Thank you... - Second meal? 388 00:17:53,194 --> 00:17:56,031 - Oh... - Oh, girl. 389 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,599 ♪ You'd be in trouble If you ate my fries... ♪ 390 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:04,439 - Oh, they put cheese on it... - I'm confused. 391 00:18:04,439 --> 00:18:06,307 This is the specialty? 392 00:18:09,677 --> 00:18:11,112 It's just meat. 393 00:18:11,112 --> 00:18:12,413 I'm so sorry. 394 00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:14,182 This fucking salad is delicious. 395 00:18:16,684 --> 00:18:19,287 How did you get lettuce and tomato on all the stuff of yours? 396 00:18:19,287 --> 00:18:21,156 - I don't know. - Want some ketch? 397 00:18:21,589 --> 00:18:22,923 I got that. 398 00:18:22,923 --> 00:18:24,259 I got some waffle fries. 399 00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:26,961 I wanna trade you my waffle fries 400 00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:27,962 for the rest of your salad. 401 00:18:28,529 --> 00:18:29,497 Nope. 402 00:18:30,865 --> 00:18:32,467 You're still bummed. 403 00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:34,535 And you ribbed me and everything and now you're really jealous. 404 00:18:36,204 --> 00:18:38,773 I realize I can't have all this gluten. 405 00:18:38,773 --> 00:18:40,308 I'll shit my pants in the middle of the interview. 406 00:18:40,308 --> 00:18:43,478 I'm praying for that. 407 00:18:43,478 --> 00:18:46,181 Thanks, man. 408 00:18:48,449 --> 00:18:50,418 I'd tell ya, I eat... 409 00:18:50,418 --> 00:18:53,588 Try to fucking get it down your hole 410 00:18:53,588 --> 00:18:54,989 and then communicate. 411 00:19:01,496 --> 00:19:04,599 While his mouth is full. 412 00:19:04,599 --> 00:19:06,467 While his fucking mouth is full. 413 00:19:07,268 --> 00:19:08,436 My lips are longer. 414 00:19:10,271 --> 00:19:11,206 My lips are longer. 415 00:19:11,206 --> 00:19:12,407 No, you just got a bigger mouth. 416 00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:15,776 - Semantics. - Waffle fries. 417 00:19:15,776 --> 00:19:16,911 Tremendous. 418 00:19:16,911 --> 00:19:19,280 To me, second only to onion rings. 419 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,749 - Curly fries. - What's the difference? They're all... 420 00:19:22,883 --> 00:19:24,152 It's all a fried potato. 421 00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,122 What do you mean, "What's the difference?" 422 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,124 It's the shape and the seasoning, Sean. 423 00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:31,526 And the curly fry is able to get crispier 424 00:19:31,526 --> 00:19:33,661 than the waffle fry, because it's leaner. 425 00:19:34,629 --> 00:19:36,030 - I admit it. - A leaner cut. 426 00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:37,132 So, I'm crispier. 427 00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:41,269 Do you know that he teaches fries at Cal State Fullerton? 428 00:19:43,404 --> 00:19:44,972 I feel like I might need to take a shower 429 00:19:44,972 --> 00:19:45,840 after that burger. 430 00:19:50,178 --> 00:19:51,412 I got stuff caught in my teeth. 431 00:19:53,281 --> 00:19:55,650 He showers after he eats. 432 00:20:02,257 --> 00:20:05,493 Yeah. 433 00:20:05,493 --> 00:20:07,395 I can't believe you do that, too. 434 00:20:07,395 --> 00:20:09,096 I do it exactly the same. 435 00:20:09,096 --> 00:20:10,931 I've never heard more talk about like... 436 00:20:10,931 --> 00:20:12,667 shower and the thing and what we do and... 437 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:13,934 Blah, blah, blah, blah... never heard more. 438 00:20:15,636 --> 00:20:18,139 Um, Jason, Jason... 439 00:20:18,139 --> 00:20:21,075 Phone, headphones, TV, everything... 440 00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:23,378 ba-da-da-da-da... constantly... 441 00:20:24,312 --> 00:20:26,281 Don't touch my shit. 442 00:20:26,281 --> 00:20:29,284 Constant... just stuff coming in at all times. 443 00:20:29,284 --> 00:20:31,519 How about sitting with yourself? 444 00:20:31,519 --> 00:20:33,020 Is that too scary? 445 00:20:34,322 --> 00:20:36,191 You've tried it, right? 446 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,358 You've sat with me. 447 00:20:39,727 --> 00:20:40,995 I'll be back. 448 00:20:40,995 --> 00:20:43,898 Uh-oh... somebody just... are you having a contraction? 449 00:20:46,634 --> 00:20:48,669 - Is he gonna poo? - He better not. 450 00:21:08,779 --> 00:21:10,881 The hair is not really happening tonight. 451 00:21:12,115 --> 00:21:13,717 I should have brought the other piece. 452 00:21:16,053 --> 00:21:17,755 Rock Dad. 453 00:21:17,755 --> 00:21:19,757 "Hey, kids. Hey, gang. I'm Rock Dad. 454 00:21:20,991 --> 00:21:23,360 I'm gonna get a pretty rad new Harley." 455 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,195 - Hey. - Hi, how are you? Are we ready? 456 00:21:25,195 --> 00:21:26,930 - Let's go, Sean. - Let's go. Let's go. 457 00:21:26,930 --> 00:21:28,231 Is it... are we... 458 00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:30,000 Hi! 459 00:21:31,134 --> 00:21:33,671 I'll see you out there. 460 00:21:33,671 --> 00:21:35,673 - Oh, God. - I hope. Only if you feel it. 461 00:21:35,673 --> 00:21:36,874 It's your decision. 462 00:21:36,874 --> 00:21:38,809 Don't you let Sean force you. 463 00:21:42,746 --> 00:21:44,147 Take your time with the house lights. 464 00:21:44,147 --> 00:21:45,148 - Oh, wait. - Yeah. 465 00:21:45,148 --> 00:21:46,917 - Oh... oh, wait. - Um... 466 00:21:46,917 --> 00:21:48,752 Take your time with the house lights. 467 00:21:48,752 --> 00:21:51,054 - Wait. I think we're on right now. - Oh... 468 00:21:51,054 --> 00:21:52,990 - We should... yeah... - Okay, so... 469 00:21:52,990 --> 00:21:54,291 No flash photography. 470 00:21:54,291 --> 00:21:55,592 Don't use your fucking cellphones. 471 00:21:55,693 --> 00:21:58,528 Don't record, have a good time... 472 00:21:58,528 --> 00:22:00,563 say hi to your neighbor. 473 00:22:00,563 --> 00:22:05,368 And this is SmartLess! 474 00:22:05,368 --> 00:22:06,970 Hello, Madison! 475 00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:13,410 Whoo! 476 00:22:14,912 --> 00:22:16,546 We... 477 00:22:16,546 --> 00:22:19,549 We finally made it to Madison, Wisconsin. 478 00:22:19,549 --> 00:22:21,819 What's that? 479 00:22:21,819 --> 00:22:24,121 Okay. I gotta... 480 00:22:26,056 --> 00:22:28,358 I gotta say a little bit, 481 00:22:28,358 --> 00:22:30,093 you know, as you guys know, 482 00:22:30,093 --> 00:22:32,162 you're a big part of the podcast 483 00:22:32,162 --> 00:22:35,198 and coming here today 484 00:22:35,198 --> 00:22:37,567 kinda feels a little bit like a home game. 485 00:22:37,567 --> 00:22:40,603 Yeah, yeah. And a shoutout to The Edgewater Hotel 486 00:22:40,603 --> 00:22:42,840 - who housed us for four hours today. - Yeah. 487 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,108 It's right on the frozen lake 488 00:22:45,108 --> 00:22:47,077 and us soft little LA freaks, 489 00:22:47,077 --> 00:22:48,445 we're like, "Well, that lake's frozen. 490 00:22:48,445 --> 00:22:50,347 I see people walking on it. Should we go walk on it?" 491 00:22:50,347 --> 00:22:51,581 So, we walked on it. 492 00:22:52,482 --> 00:22:54,017 Not to pull rank too much, 493 00:22:54,017 --> 00:22:55,886 but neither of them had ever been out 494 00:22:55,886 --> 00:22:57,020 on a frozen lake before, 495 00:22:57,020 --> 00:22:59,289 which you guys know is just what you do. 496 00:22:59,289 --> 00:23:01,458 Look, as a Canadian, I get it. 497 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,527 - Hey, let's sit down. - Um... 498 00:23:04,527 --> 00:23:06,096 Wait. Let's switch seats... 499 00:23:06,096 --> 00:23:08,498 Oh, let's switch... 500 00:23:08,498 --> 00:23:10,267 So, you know, we're here because 501 00:23:10,267 --> 00:23:12,002 my sister lives in Wisconsin... 502 00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:14,872 And... yeah, yeah. 503 00:23:15,873 --> 00:23:18,008 And just one quick Tracy story, 504 00:23:18,008 --> 00:23:20,510 she came to pick me up at college after my fourth year 505 00:23:20,510 --> 00:23:23,213 and she came in some pickup truck or something. 506 00:23:23,213 --> 00:23:25,615 And we got high before we got into the truck. 507 00:23:25,615 --> 00:23:26,984 - And we got... - Sean... 508 00:23:26,984 --> 00:23:28,118 - Come on. - What? 509 00:23:28,118 --> 00:23:31,654 Drugs? 510 00:23:31,654 --> 00:23:33,290 That's a good one. And... 511 00:23:33,290 --> 00:23:35,558 I'm driving up Route 55, 512 00:23:35,558 --> 00:23:36,960 listening to Madonna 513 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,129 and we're both like in our own world, 514 00:23:39,129 --> 00:23:41,031 like we're actually Madonna and like... 515 00:23:41,031 --> 00:23:42,665 ♪ Just like a prayer ♪ 516 00:23:42,665 --> 00:23:44,301 All of a sudden I open my eyes and in the rear view mirror 517 00:23:44,301 --> 00:23:46,003 I just see some pants. 518 00:23:47,504 --> 00:23:49,206 And then a shirt. 519 00:23:49,206 --> 00:23:51,341 And then she's driving. She's like... 520 00:23:51,341 --> 00:23:53,911 "Holy shit!" Some more pants and some socks 521 00:23:54,511 --> 00:23:55,913 and like a suit... 522 00:23:55,913 --> 00:23:57,981 And then we're like, "Maybe we should pull over." 523 00:23:57,981 --> 00:23:59,983 We pulled over and I'm talking like... 524 00:23:59,983 --> 00:24:02,119 two miles of clothes... 525 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:03,453 ...behind us. Right? 526 00:24:03,453 --> 00:24:06,389 And we just... what do we do? Should we go back and get it? 527 00:24:06,389 --> 00:24:08,125 No, we didn't get... we just drove the fuck home. 528 00:24:09,626 --> 00:24:11,829 But you know, why finish any of these stories, 529 00:24:11,829 --> 00:24:13,263 when I can have Tracy tell them herself. 530 00:24:13,263 --> 00:24:14,164 What? 531 00:24:14,164 --> 00:24:15,833 Yeah. Yeah. 532 00:24:16,633 --> 00:24:18,201 - Whoo! - You guys! 533 00:24:18,635 --> 00:24:20,237 Tracy! 534 00:24:20,237 --> 00:24:22,272 Thank you for being here. 535 00:24:22,272 --> 00:24:23,473 She doesn't look like she needs 536 00:24:23,473 --> 00:24:24,741 anything explained to her. 537 00:24:26,109 --> 00:24:27,911 How fucking weird is it? 538 00:24:27,911 --> 00:24:29,012 - It is weird. - Right. 539 00:24:29,012 --> 00:24:31,681 And all these people know who you are, because... 540 00:24:31,681 --> 00:24:32,950 we talk about you all the time. 541 00:24:32,950 --> 00:24:34,084 - Yeah. - Here's the thing... 542 00:24:34,084 --> 00:24:35,986 I am a single mom 543 00:24:35,986 --> 00:24:37,120 - and I'm at home... - Tracy! 544 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,656 and I literally, it makes my Monday... 545 00:24:39,656 --> 00:24:41,658 I think it makes everybody's Monday morning 546 00:24:41,658 --> 00:24:43,760 - to look forward to that. - That's nice. 547 00:24:43,861 --> 00:24:46,029 Yup. 548 00:24:46,029 --> 00:24:48,698 So, I really appreciate you guys... 549 00:24:48,698 --> 00:24:49,933 - That's what-- - ...involving me. 550 00:24:49,933 --> 00:24:51,268 You used to be a police officer. 551 00:24:51,268 --> 00:24:52,769 I'm obsessed with crazy police stories. 552 00:24:52,870 --> 00:24:54,037 Do you have a crazy one? 553 00:24:54,037 --> 00:24:55,538 - You used to be a police officer? - Yeah. 554 00:24:55,538 --> 00:24:57,174 - Hang on a second. - Well, we didn't know that. 555 00:24:57,174 --> 00:24:58,608 So, I was a cop for 15 years. 556 00:24:58,608 --> 00:24:59,877 But we lived in Glen Ellyn, Illinois, 557 00:24:59,877 --> 00:25:01,278 where the worst thing that would happen 558 00:25:01,278 --> 00:25:02,745 - if somebody's bike-- - You don't say that. 559 00:25:02,745 --> 00:25:04,014 - Well, bike-- - You weren't there. 560 00:25:04,014 --> 00:25:05,883 No, like, okay... 561 00:25:05,883 --> 00:25:09,086 Did you ever work on a case of a weed-smoking couple 562 00:25:09,086 --> 00:25:12,222 who lost a bunch of clothes on the highway? 563 00:25:12,222 --> 00:25:13,924 Did you guys ever solve that case? 564 00:25:17,627 --> 00:25:20,430 What was the most dangerous thing you were ever involved with as a cop? 565 00:25:20,430 --> 00:25:22,565 You know, burglaries and... 566 00:25:22,565 --> 00:25:23,733 domestic... probably domestic. 567 00:25:23,733 --> 00:25:25,102 Did you see any dead bodies? 568 00:25:25,102 --> 00:25:26,603 - Yeah, a ton. - You did? 569 00:25:26,603 --> 00:25:29,039 - No way. - Then that became normal to you? 570 00:25:29,039 --> 00:25:31,041 - Yeah. That doesn't bother me. - Okay. Great. 571 00:25:31,041 --> 00:25:34,044 Really, really? Did you ever see anybody... 572 00:25:34,044 --> 00:25:36,113 uh... get dead? 573 00:25:36,113 --> 00:25:38,315 Is that the way you say it, Will? 574 00:25:38,315 --> 00:25:39,917 - A murder. No. - "Die". 575 00:25:39,917 --> 00:25:41,284 Even die he made longer. 576 00:25:44,121 --> 00:25:45,322 We're having fun, Tracy. 577 00:25:47,757 --> 00:25:49,927 Were you a motorcycle cop or did you drive a car? 578 00:25:50,527 --> 00:25:51,929 I drove a car. 579 00:25:51,929 --> 00:25:54,597 - Dude, she could've been a motorcycle cop... - Okay, but I mean... 580 00:25:54,597 --> 00:25:55,999 We didn't have motorcycle cops. 581 00:25:55,999 --> 00:25:57,567 - You didn't have motorcycle cops? - No. 582 00:25:57,567 --> 00:25:59,169 Oh, 'cause of weather, right? 583 00:25:59,169 --> 00:26:00,537 What? 584 00:26:01,939 --> 00:26:03,340 Now you can see in person 585 00:26:03,340 --> 00:26:04,541 what we're dealing with. It's... 586 00:26:06,109 --> 00:26:07,177 It's absurd. 587 00:26:07,177 --> 00:26:10,047 But if you're in a place that has a lot of winter... 588 00:26:10,047 --> 00:26:12,215 um... 589 00:26:12,215 --> 00:26:13,583 You can't have... 590 00:26:13,583 --> 00:26:15,085 you can't have a motorcycle cop, 591 00:26:15,085 --> 00:26:17,220 - 'cause you got snow and ice and stuff like that... - Good for you, dude. 592 00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:19,189 I figured... 593 00:26:19,189 --> 00:26:20,823 You see, I have a process 594 00:26:20,823 --> 00:26:22,225 that I figure stuff out. 595 00:26:22,225 --> 00:26:23,226 Um... 596 00:26:23,226 --> 00:26:25,695 What was one of the best memories you have of me? 597 00:26:27,097 --> 00:26:30,067 Well, growing up we had just us five kids. 598 00:26:30,067 --> 00:26:32,970 - Yeah. Chaos. -"Just us five kids"? 599 00:26:32,970 --> 00:26:35,205 We were the two youngest, so we kinda stuck together. 600 00:26:35,205 --> 00:26:37,374 Poor guy. I made him do, like, 601 00:26:37,374 --> 00:26:39,009 baton lessons and cheerleading... 602 00:26:39,009 --> 00:26:40,543 - I mean, it was bad. - Yeah, she did. 603 00:26:40,543 --> 00:26:42,412 - She did. You wanna do a cheer together right now? - No. 604 00:26:42,412 --> 00:26:44,347 Oh, please do a cheer now. 605 00:26:44,347 --> 00:26:45,415 - No. - Oh, my God. 606 00:26:45,415 --> 00:26:47,117 Right now. Right now. 607 00:26:47,117 --> 00:26:48,986 Okay, I'm gonna do it. 608 00:26:48,986 --> 00:26:51,754 - Here we go. - I am not doing it. 609 00:26:51,754 --> 00:26:53,256 Five, six, seven, eight... 610 00:26:53,256 --> 00:26:55,625 We've got power. 611 00:26:55,625 --> 00:26:58,161 Wild cat power. 612 00:26:58,161 --> 00:27:00,697 P-O-W... 613 00:27:00,697 --> 00:27:03,100 E-R... We've got power. 614 00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:05,002 We've got power. 615 00:27:06,803 --> 00:27:07,837 Stand up. 616 00:27:07,837 --> 00:27:10,040 Thank you. I love you. 617 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,909 Madison's own, Tracy. 618 00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:18,904 Let's move on, shall we? 619 00:27:18,904 --> 00:27:20,072 Where are we going? 620 00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:22,675 We're gonna go on a little trip, Jason. 621 00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:24,977 You know how you wonder how sometimes certain people 622 00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,512 in our business become successful 623 00:27:26,512 --> 00:27:29,048 and then they sustain that success, right? 624 00:27:29,048 --> 00:27:30,516 Sure you need talent and brains 625 00:27:30,516 --> 00:27:32,051 and ability to capture an audience, 626 00:27:32,051 --> 00:27:33,586 but I found the secret ingredient 627 00:27:33,586 --> 00:27:35,254 to becoming a superstar 628 00:27:35,254 --> 00:27:37,022 is being a nice person. 629 00:27:37,022 --> 00:27:38,023 - Huh! - Right? 630 00:27:38,023 --> 00:27:39,725 This person is one of those people. 631 00:27:39,725 --> 00:27:41,326 He's one of the nicest, kindest people 632 00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:43,195 I've ever had the pleasure of being friends with. 633 00:27:43,195 --> 00:27:45,931 He's the first person to introduce me to a Segway. 634 00:27:45,931 --> 00:27:47,867 The scooter. Not how to connect thoughts. 635 00:27:47,867 --> 00:27:50,470 He's played an attorney, 636 00:27:50,470 --> 00:27:53,539 a pickpocket, a talking shrimp 637 00:27:53,539 --> 00:27:55,508 and a spy for the FBI. 638 00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:57,677 He also happened to appear with me on one of the funniest episodes 639 00:27:57,677 --> 00:27:58,811 of Will Grace. 640 00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:00,680 Unlike how he's treated by Jimmy Kimmel, 641 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:01,781 we have plenty of time for him tonight, 642 00:28:01,781 --> 00:28:03,849 - it's Matt Damon. - What? 643 00:28:08,488 --> 00:28:10,990 Whoo! 644 00:28:10,990 --> 00:28:12,692 - Hey, buddy. - Hey, buddy. 645 00:28:18,397 --> 00:28:19,865 What? 646 00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:21,701 I know you're probably wondering who cancelled 647 00:28:21,701 --> 00:28:23,636 and thank you for replacing at the last minute. 648 00:28:23,636 --> 00:28:25,037 - You're very welcome. - Yeah. 649 00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:26,872 If I was ever gonna do this show, 650 00:28:26,872 --> 00:28:28,508 it would have to be in Wisconsin, right? 651 00:28:31,977 --> 00:28:34,113 He's the perfect example of the nicest guy 652 00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:35,815 - in the world. - That's why I said. 653 00:28:35,815 --> 00:28:37,517 The kindness that you have 654 00:28:37,517 --> 00:28:39,652 is so authentic and sincere 655 00:28:39,652 --> 00:28:40,820 and organic. 656 00:28:40,820 --> 00:28:43,322 What is is that keeps you from 657 00:28:43,322 --> 00:28:44,990 behaving badly... 658 00:28:44,990 --> 00:28:46,992 And let me just say before you answer that, 659 00:28:46,992 --> 00:28:49,194 Jason wants to know why aren't you giving into your desire 660 00:28:49,194 --> 00:28:50,530 to be shitty to people... 661 00:28:50,530 --> 00:28:52,197 ...because he finds it 662 00:28:52,197 --> 00:28:54,133 really hard to bury it. 663 00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:55,968 Is it similar to how he buries it? 664 00:28:55,968 --> 00:28:57,436 Go ahead. 665 00:28:57,537 --> 00:29:00,205 I don't know. I never had an impulse to do that. 666 00:29:00,205 --> 00:29:02,875 I think I was just lucky I had great parents, 667 00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:05,044 a great big brother and a great foundation. 668 00:29:05,044 --> 00:29:06,546 So, were your parents in the arts or no? 669 00:29:06,546 --> 00:29:08,313 No. No. My mom's a professor 670 00:29:08,313 --> 00:29:10,315 of early childhood education. 671 00:29:10,315 --> 00:29:11,717 Oh, wow. 672 00:29:11,717 --> 00:29:13,719 You went to Harvard, right? 673 00:29:13,719 --> 00:29:15,454 You only went for one year. Did you go for four years or what? 674 00:29:15,555 --> 00:29:16,956 I went for five years. 675 00:29:16,956 --> 00:29:19,058 - Oh... - Did you really? 676 00:29:19,058 --> 00:29:21,727 Yeah, I got credit for three of them. 677 00:29:21,727 --> 00:29:23,596 Was it hard? 678 00:29:25,798 --> 00:29:28,400 - The school? - Just humor him. 679 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:29,835 Was Harvard hard? 680 00:29:30,770 --> 00:29:32,404 I don't have a high school diploma. 681 00:29:32,404 --> 00:29:33,806 Please bear with me. 682 00:29:33,806 --> 00:29:35,608 I mean, obviously it was hard. I didn't finish. 683 00:29:35,608 --> 00:29:36,809 So, you know... 684 00:29:36,809 --> 00:29:38,410 Did not finish? Did not graduate? 685 00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:40,813 No, no, no. I'm still on a leave of absence, guys, ok? 686 00:29:40,813 --> 00:29:43,082 - Right. - This ain't over yet. 687 00:29:43,082 --> 00:29:44,449 Okay? Don't count me out. 688 00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:46,418 I would be a senior if I went back. 689 00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:48,120 You were so close. 690 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,189 You know, have you ever done a commencement speech? 691 00:29:50,189 --> 00:29:52,324 I did the commencement speech at MIT. 692 00:29:52,324 --> 00:29:53,859 Yeah. They don't ask me for that stuff. 693 00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:56,662 Ben, I know he did one at Brown. 694 00:29:56,662 --> 00:29:58,798 And Ben got a diploma from Brown. 695 00:29:58,798 --> 00:30:00,199 Tracy, that's Ben Affleck. 696 00:30:00,199 --> 00:30:03,168 Yeah. And... 697 00:30:03,168 --> 00:30:05,170 The great thing about that was that 698 00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:07,039 John Krasinski went to Brown 699 00:30:07,039 --> 00:30:08,674 and is very proud of that. 700 00:30:08,674 --> 00:30:11,010 And studied, I mean, worked really hard for four years 701 00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:12,612 and got a diploma and Ben called him 702 00:30:12,612 --> 00:30:14,513 and said, "I was in Rhode Island for 45 minutes 703 00:30:14,513 --> 00:30:16,448 and I..." 704 00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:17,717 - I love that. - Hang on. 705 00:30:17,717 --> 00:30:19,318 Bear with me for one more second. 706 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:20,620 if you give a commencement speech, 707 00:30:20,620 --> 00:30:21,987 - you get a diploma... - Yes. 708 00:30:21,987 --> 00:30:23,623 An honorary doctorate. 709 00:30:23,623 --> 00:30:25,157 - Doctorate? - I got one of those, too. 710 00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:26,959 Do you have to have a high school diploma before? 711 00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:29,128 - No! - By the way, by the way, 712 00:30:29,128 --> 00:30:32,564 - asking for a friend. - I'm just asking for a friend. 713 00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:34,967 I don't think I know this answer. 714 00:30:34,967 --> 00:30:37,002 When did you meet Ben Affleck? 715 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,004 I was ten and he was eight. 716 00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:40,405 - And... Oh... - Really? 717 00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:45,244 We grew up 200 yards away from each other. 718 00:30:45,244 --> 00:30:47,980 - And met each other-- - Like out on the street playing... 719 00:30:47,980 --> 00:30:49,481 Yeah, we used to play little league together 720 00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:51,216 and we used to play... When he got to high school, 721 00:30:51,216 --> 00:30:52,818 I was a junior and he was a freshman. 722 00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:54,687 - And that's when we really started... - Oh, wow... 723 00:30:54,687 --> 00:30:56,956 ...hanging. And he'd been on an after-school special, 724 00:30:56,956 --> 00:30:59,725 he'd been on a... he was like the big star 725 00:30:59,725 --> 00:31:01,994 - of high school... - And was he like a big shot? 726 00:31:01,994 --> 00:31:03,929 When he arrived at the high school, 727 00:31:03,929 --> 00:31:05,765 I had to set him straight... 728 00:31:05,765 --> 00:31:08,768 'Cause I was the lord of that theater department. 729 00:31:08,768 --> 00:31:11,170 And I went up to him, 730 00:31:11,170 --> 00:31:13,438 like, first day and like pulled him up 731 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:15,841 and was like, "Hey..." 732 00:31:15,841 --> 00:31:17,242 "...You know, it's different here in the theater." 733 00:31:20,312 --> 00:31:22,281 You went straight douche right away. 734 00:31:22,281 --> 00:31:23,683 You're not gonna get by on your looks. 735 00:31:23,683 --> 00:31:25,685 Oh... 736 00:31:25,685 --> 00:31:28,187 - That's hilarious. - And we were both like 5'2''. 737 00:31:29,755 --> 00:31:32,524 - What about... you ever done a musical? - Yes. 738 00:31:32,524 --> 00:31:34,026 - You have? - Of course. 739 00:31:34,026 --> 00:31:35,995 - Hang on... - What did you do? 740 00:31:35,995 --> 00:31:37,496 - I was Pippin. - No way. 741 00:31:37,496 --> 00:31:39,498 - Heck yeah. Yeah. - What! 742 00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:41,466 - I totally-- - ♪ Everything has its season ♪ 743 00:31:41,466 --> 00:31:43,335 ♪ Everything has its time ♪ 744 00:31:43,335 --> 00:31:44,469 ♪ Show me a reason ♪ 745 00:31:44,469 --> 00:31:47,439 ♪ And I'll soon Show you a rhyme ♪ 746 00:31:47,439 --> 00:31:48,708 Oh, my God. 747 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:52,344 I literally, I sing that to my daughter 748 00:31:52,344 --> 00:31:54,880 - Really? - ...to drive her... I do. With the choreography 749 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,248 we did, it was like... 750 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,516 Let's see it. Here we go! 751 00:31:57,516 --> 00:31:59,518 - Literally like... - A five, six, seven, eight... 752 00:31:59,518 --> 00:32:01,053 It was like... 753 00:32:01,053 --> 00:32:04,523 ♪ Rivers belong Where they can ramble ♪ 754 00:32:04,523 --> 00:32:08,093 ♪ Eagles... ♪ 755 00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:09,962 - That was literally the choreography. - Yeah. 756 00:32:09,962 --> 00:32:11,030 So, that's my kryptonite. 757 00:32:11,030 --> 00:32:12,597 I can't sing in the shower either. 758 00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:13,532 I can't sing either. 759 00:32:13,532 --> 00:32:15,735 That sounded pretty good. 760 00:32:17,202 --> 00:32:19,038 You still love theater, you still want to do theater? 761 00:32:19,038 --> 00:32:20,973 Actually, I was gonna say because... 762 00:32:20,973 --> 00:32:22,307 Leave it. Don't. Keep it there. 763 00:32:24,609 --> 00:32:26,278 Keep talking. 764 00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:29,281 When I went to see you on Broadway... 765 00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:31,450 - Was this Promises, Promises? - It was Promises, Promises. 766 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:33,118 And so... 767 00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:34,887 Hold for applause, Matt. 768 00:32:34,887 --> 00:32:37,422 - Obviously he was amazing. - Yeah... 769 00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,458 It was deep into the run though. 770 00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:41,093 And we went backstage and... 771 00:32:41,093 --> 00:32:42,895 It made me never wanna do theater again. 772 00:32:42,895 --> 00:32:44,296 I was like, "Hey. What's going on? Hi." 773 00:32:44,296 --> 00:32:46,465 Scotty just had his hand around. 774 00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:48,768 He's just holding you up. 775 00:32:48,768 --> 00:32:50,803 You were like, "Eight shows a week. Who would do this? 776 00:32:50,803 --> 00:32:52,237 Yeah... 777 00:32:52,237 --> 00:32:54,907 And you still had, like, a month-and-a-half to go. 778 00:32:54,907 --> 00:32:57,642 Yeah. You were so nice to come. A. And B... 779 00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:00,512 I sent you a long time ago as a birthday gift... 780 00:33:00,512 --> 00:33:02,381 t-shirts with my picture on it. 781 00:33:02,381 --> 00:33:04,649 - Oh, that's right. - And you wore it to the show. 782 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:06,418 - That's right. - Oh, my God. 783 00:33:06,418 --> 00:33:08,420 - That's right. I totally forgot about that. - Yeah. 784 00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:09,521 And you had holes in it. 785 00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:11,056 And you were like, "I sleep in it." 786 00:33:11,056 --> 00:33:13,592 Because I did. Because you know those shirts that you wash so many times? 787 00:33:13,592 --> 00:33:15,427 - Yeah. - They're like, they're better... 788 00:33:15,427 --> 00:33:16,796 That was my Sean Hayes shirt... 789 00:33:16,796 --> 00:33:19,031 Yeah. 790 00:33:19,031 --> 00:33:21,166 I too get better the more you wash me. 791 00:33:24,203 --> 00:33:25,805 He did this episode of Will Grace. 792 00:33:25,805 --> 00:33:28,841 - Oh, my God. - He played this guy who actually pretended to be gay, 793 00:33:28,841 --> 00:33:30,342 so he could sing in the gay men's chorus. 794 00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,677 Because they were going to Europe 795 00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:34,579 - and he wanted the free trip to Europe. - Right. 796 00:33:34,579 --> 00:33:36,681 It was such a... 797 00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:37,917 It was so stupid. 798 00:33:37,917 --> 00:33:39,384 It was so funny though. 799 00:33:39,384 --> 00:33:40,585 Did you sing on the show? 800 00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:42,687 - Yeah, he did. - In the chorus, we all sang. 801 00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:45,090 But the whole idea was that Sean, 802 00:33:45,090 --> 00:33:47,392 - he figures it out. - And I'm like, "You're straight. 803 00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:49,394 - I know you're straight." - And so, he tries to "in" me. 804 00:33:49,394 --> 00:33:51,463 - Right. - Instead of out him. 805 00:33:51,463 --> 00:33:53,132 I couldn't believe how 806 00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:54,433 by that point, because you'd 807 00:33:54,433 --> 00:33:55,968 put all the work in for ten years, 808 00:33:55,968 --> 00:33:57,536 how little you guys worked. 809 00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,138 - I was like, "Holy shit." - Yeah. 810 00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:01,340 - It's amazing. - It was criminal. 811 00:34:01,340 --> 00:34:03,675 Well, James Burrows, who's one of the greatest directors of all time... 812 00:34:03,675 --> 00:34:05,845 - Yeah. - He's got me like this, right? 813 00:34:05,845 --> 00:34:07,847 So, now... and I got spoiled at such a young age, 814 00:34:07,847 --> 00:34:09,048 so now when I'm on set, I'm like... 815 00:34:09,048 --> 00:34:10,950 "What's taking so long?" You know. 816 00:34:10,950 --> 00:34:12,451 I wanna talk about, you know. 817 00:34:12,451 --> 00:34:13,853 I know you're so sick of talking about... 818 00:34:13,853 --> 00:34:15,154 You have typed questions. 819 00:34:15,154 --> 00:34:16,388 You know what? 820 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:17,990 - That's amazing, by the way. - Sean prepares. Sean prepares. 821 00:34:17,990 --> 00:34:20,159 That's harder than you worked on that episode 822 00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:22,027 of Will Grace. 823 00:34:22,027 --> 00:34:23,028 Without a doubt. 824 00:34:26,165 --> 00:34:28,901 It's so true and I made so much money. 825 00:34:28,901 --> 00:34:31,736 Sean is... 826 00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:33,472 Sean is so organized. 827 00:34:33,472 --> 00:34:35,307 One of things that we're finding out in this tour 828 00:34:35,307 --> 00:34:36,876 - Oh, my God. - is, Sean is... 829 00:34:36,876 --> 00:34:38,210 It's insane. So, the other night, 830 00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:40,012 we all had dinner, like eight or ten of us. 831 00:34:40,012 --> 00:34:42,147 The food arrived. We started eating. 832 00:34:42,147 --> 00:34:43,648 Sean's finished in, I don't know, 833 00:34:43,648 --> 00:34:44,884 maybe two minutes. 834 00:34:44,884 --> 00:34:46,986 And he stands up and starts... he clears his plate 835 00:34:46,986 --> 00:34:48,553 and then he starts clearing all the loose ends 836 00:34:48,553 --> 00:34:51,023 and then he starts clearing the plate like... No, no, no. I'm not done yet. 837 00:34:51,023 --> 00:34:52,357 What... Right? 838 00:34:52,357 --> 00:34:53,893 - Still chewing. - Now this is a hotel room. 839 00:34:53,893 --> 00:34:55,394 There're people who're gonna come and clean it anyway. 840 00:34:55,394 --> 00:34:57,129 But no. He's cleaning it. 841 00:34:57,129 --> 00:34:58,998 You know, my wife does this exact same thing. 842 00:34:58,998 --> 00:35:00,465 It drives me crazy. 843 00:35:00,465 --> 00:35:01,433 It's bonkers. 844 00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,602 I'm like, "Why are you busing the table?" 845 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:05,804 Like, I'm eating my food... 846 00:35:05,905 --> 00:35:07,506 - Like, I'm not... - He likes order. 847 00:35:07,506 --> 00:35:10,109 He doesn't like chaos. He likes things done tight 848 00:35:10,109 --> 00:35:12,577 or being driven here in a tour bus. 849 00:35:12,577 --> 00:35:14,413 - Yeah. - And he's got... 850 00:35:14,413 --> 00:35:16,115 he's got Waze open... 851 00:35:16,115 --> 00:35:18,283 - Yeah. - ...to make sure the driver 852 00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:20,452 - is on the right route. - Not a bit. 853 00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,988 And so, we keep going, every thirty seconds we go, 854 00:35:22,988 --> 00:35:25,090 "How much longer, Sean?" He's like, "Three minutes." 855 00:35:26,425 --> 00:35:28,760 But I'm starting a new app. 856 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,329 It's not called Waze, it's called "Gays." 857 00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:32,031 It's much faster. 858 00:35:32,031 --> 00:35:33,832 It's much faster... 859 00:35:33,933 --> 00:35:35,167 It's much faster. 860 00:35:35,167 --> 00:35:36,468 With a more handsome font. 861 00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:37,669 Yeah... 862 00:35:37,669 --> 00:35:39,271 Uh, I wanna... 863 00:35:39,271 --> 00:35:41,340 I wanna start at the beginning. 864 00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:42,507 No. 865 00:35:42,507 --> 00:35:43,943 I know you're sick of talking about Good Will Hunting. 866 00:35:43,943 --> 00:35:45,945 And just bear with me here, 867 00:35:45,945 --> 00:35:47,646 because there are young people starting out 868 00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:48,948 that love this story. 869 00:35:48,948 --> 00:35:51,350 You just fucking did it. Like you just... 870 00:35:51,350 --> 00:35:52,617 You're like, "Well, I wanna work. 871 00:35:52,617 --> 00:35:54,686 So, maybe I should just write my own thing. Right?" 872 00:35:54,686 --> 00:35:57,389 And then won and Oscar for the script. 873 00:35:57,389 --> 00:35:59,291 - It's like... - I mean, it worked out. 874 00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:01,626 Yeah... Yeah, for you to just... Yeah, exactly. 875 00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:03,362 Yeah, it worked out. 876 00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:05,597 We were desperate. We were unemployed, 877 00:36:05,597 --> 00:36:07,299 struggling actors and... 878 00:36:07,299 --> 00:36:09,101 It was that movie, Primal Fear... 879 00:36:09,101 --> 00:36:10,369 - Auditioned for it. - Yeah. 880 00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:12,037 I swear to God, I auditioned for it in Chicago. 881 00:36:12,037 --> 00:36:14,639 Right. I paid for a dialect coach 882 00:36:14,639 --> 00:36:15,975 to prepare for the audition. 883 00:36:15,975 --> 00:36:17,476 'Cause he switches from Southern to normal 884 00:36:17,476 --> 00:36:18,777 - or normal to Southern. - It's like a Jekyll Hyde... 885 00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:20,312 - thing. -"Normal". 886 00:36:20,312 --> 00:36:21,880 Did you say, "Southern to normal"? 887 00:36:24,749 --> 00:36:25,985 Oh, God. 888 00:36:27,619 --> 00:36:28,988 I'm terrified for you, buddy. 889 00:36:28,988 --> 00:36:30,455 I gotta be honest. 890 00:36:30,455 --> 00:36:32,557 The country just got cut in half. 891 00:36:32,557 --> 00:36:34,326 And you can't... 892 00:36:34,326 --> 00:36:36,428 You can only go to half the country now. 893 00:36:37,829 --> 00:36:39,164 Where do you guys shoot Ozark? 894 00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:44,703 Yeah. 895 00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:46,771 So... 896 00:36:46,771 --> 00:36:48,440 - Oh, God bless him. - But the idea 897 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,409 was that there are two distinctive voices 898 00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:51,910 that come from this guy. 899 00:36:52,011 --> 00:36:54,113 Both perfectly good voices. 900 00:36:54,113 --> 00:36:55,414 Yes. 901 00:36:55,414 --> 00:36:57,382 Two excellent, distinctive voices. 902 00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:58,517 But it's an actor's dream, 903 00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:00,852 because it's... It's a really showcasing part for him. 904 00:37:00,852 --> 00:37:02,421 - Right. - So, Ben and I realized, 905 00:37:02,421 --> 00:37:04,656 "What are the chances that, A, another one's gonna come 906 00:37:04,656 --> 00:37:06,158 in the next five years... 907 00:37:06,158 --> 00:37:08,093 and B, that even if it does, 908 00:37:08,093 --> 00:37:09,361 we'll be the ones to get it?" 909 00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:11,063 We'll get called back, we'll get close. 910 00:37:11,063 --> 00:37:12,664 Remember? Oh, you don't remember auditioning. 911 00:37:12,664 --> 00:37:14,599 - Yes, I do. - You were like a star for the whole... 912 00:37:14,599 --> 00:37:16,368 You were a fucking star 913 00:37:16,368 --> 00:37:17,736 - when you were like eight. - Exactly. 914 00:37:17,736 --> 00:37:20,172 And I was watching you like, "That guy, I could do that." 915 00:37:20,172 --> 00:37:22,241 "I could do that." 916 00:37:22,241 --> 00:37:26,045 So, that kind of started us thinking about... 917 00:37:26,045 --> 00:37:27,779 - writing. - 'Cause you were dying to be an actor, 918 00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:29,048 - not a writer. - Right. Right. 919 00:37:29,048 --> 00:37:31,050 We were writing just literally to give ourselves... 920 00:37:31,050 --> 00:37:32,784 And you win an Oscar for writing. 921 00:37:32,784 --> 00:37:33,918 I know. It's weird. 922 00:37:33,918 --> 00:37:36,521 I've never gotten any award of any kind for acting. 923 00:37:36,521 --> 00:37:39,391 - That's crazy. - You get nominated a shit ton of times, I'll bet. 924 00:37:39,391 --> 00:37:41,526 I mean, I got a Golden Globe. 925 00:37:41,526 --> 00:37:43,128 - Well, that's something. - Yeah, that's something. 926 00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:44,929 - Come on. - For The Martian, right? 927 00:37:44,929 --> 00:37:46,598 - For The Martian. - Yes. 928 00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:47,932 Thank you. They gave it to me 929 00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:49,468 in the category of "Musical or comedy". 930 00:37:49,468 --> 00:37:51,870 No way. 931 00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:53,638 - No way! - 100 percent. 932 00:37:53,638 --> 00:37:56,308 By the way, it's one of my favorite movies of all time. 933 00:37:56,308 --> 00:37:57,642 It's so good. 934 00:37:57,642 --> 00:38:00,279 - I appreciate it. Thank you. - I wanna ask you this, 935 00:38:00,279 --> 00:38:02,347 the fucking Bourne movies... 936 00:38:02,347 --> 00:38:04,349 That's crazy. 937 00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:06,718 What was that experience like? 938 00:38:06,718 --> 00:38:08,453 Because that, to me, is it. 939 00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:11,090 And would you ever go through that training process again? 940 00:38:11,090 --> 00:38:13,558 - I was 45 on the last one. - It hurt. 941 00:38:13,558 --> 00:38:14,793 Yeah and people would go like... 942 00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:16,795 "Hey man. How did you get...?" And I'd go, "Not worth it." 943 00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:18,163 Right. 944 00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:20,865 Do you have any long-lasting injuries from all of that? 945 00:38:20,865 --> 00:38:23,802 No, no. It's all... little... 946 00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:26,105 nick and cuts and stuff from those fight scenes, but... 947 00:38:26,105 --> 00:38:27,472 You know, they're pulling their punches. 948 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,374 In fact, on the first movie 949 00:38:29,374 --> 00:38:32,244 The Bourne Identity, I fight this guy in an apartment. 950 00:38:32,244 --> 00:38:34,313 Nicky Node was his name and Nicky was... 951 00:38:34,313 --> 00:38:35,414 - In Paris. - In Paris. 952 00:38:35,414 --> 00:38:38,150 Yeah. I know. 953 00:38:38,150 --> 00:38:40,018 Why are you telling me stuff I know, Matt? 954 00:38:40,119 --> 00:38:41,920 Sorry. Sorry. 955 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,488 Nicky was a professional... 956 00:38:43,488 --> 00:38:44,889 had been a professional kickboxer 957 00:38:44,889 --> 00:38:47,226 and he was an actor and a stuntman and so... 958 00:38:47,226 --> 00:38:49,161 I went to him before we shot. 959 00:38:49,161 --> 00:38:51,130 And I said, "Look, I'm really sorry. 960 00:38:51,130 --> 00:38:52,764 I'm gonna accidentally hit you..." 961 00:38:52,764 --> 00:38:54,933 "I mean, I just know I am. 962 00:38:54,933 --> 00:38:56,435 "For every time I hit you, 963 00:38:56,435 --> 00:38:59,138 I'll give you a bottle of champagne." 964 00:38:59,138 --> 00:39:01,573 And Nicky goes, "Well, this is good. 965 00:39:01,573 --> 00:39:02,674 Yes." 966 00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:04,776 So, by the end of the day, 967 00:39:04,776 --> 00:39:07,146 I owed the dude a case of champagne. 968 00:39:07,146 --> 00:39:08,780 But... 969 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:11,150 he had been used to, like, fighting professionally. 970 00:39:11,150 --> 00:39:12,584 He was like, "It did not hurt at all." 971 00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:14,153 He was fine. You know what I mean. He was like... 972 00:39:14,153 --> 00:39:16,155 He was thirsty, he was leaning into it. 973 00:39:16,155 --> 00:39:17,189 He was like, "Great." 974 00:39:17,189 --> 00:39:19,624 He was like, "Any time you wanna do a fight scene." 975 00:39:19,624 --> 00:39:20,859 I'm in. 976 00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:22,794 You know, like, there are the Tom Cruises of the world 977 00:39:22,794 --> 00:39:24,163 who do their stunts. 978 00:39:24,163 --> 00:39:25,964 - Yeah. - Like literally hang off a plane. 979 00:39:25,964 --> 00:39:27,299 - Like do that. - Yeah. 980 00:39:27,299 --> 00:39:29,468 You know, I remember I had dinner with him once 981 00:39:29,468 --> 00:39:31,203 and it was after he did the one 982 00:39:31,203 --> 00:39:33,372 - where he ran around the building. - Yeah, that's crazy, 983 00:39:33,372 --> 00:39:34,839 And I go... 984 00:39:34,839 --> 00:39:37,176 "Can you tell me how that happened?" 985 00:39:37,176 --> 00:39:38,510 And he's a really intense guy. 986 00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:39,978 You know, he's like, "Yeah, I'll tell you how that happened." 987 00:39:39,978 --> 00:39:41,713 He's like... so... I go, "All right. 988 00:39:41,713 --> 00:39:43,382 All right. I'm in." I'm like, "Okay." 989 00:39:43,382 --> 00:39:44,716 - Yeah. - And he goes, I've been thinking about 990 00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:45,684 this shot for 15 years. 991 00:39:45,684 --> 00:39:47,552 I'm like, "Wow! Really?" 992 00:39:47,552 --> 00:39:49,654 He goes, "So, I go to the safety guy 993 00:39:49,654 --> 00:39:51,055 "and I lay it all out. 994 00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:52,891 "Safety guy goes, 'We can't do that.' 995 00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:55,227 'It's too dangerous. You can't do that.' 996 00:39:56,195 --> 00:39:57,329 So, I get a new safety guy." 997 00:39:59,464 --> 00:40:00,732 That's the beginning. 998 00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:02,367 The beginning of his story. 999 00:40:02,367 --> 00:40:04,002 - No way. - And I just go, "Stop". 1000 00:40:04,002 --> 00:40:06,037 Like... that's where we're different. 1001 00:40:06,037 --> 00:40:07,038 Right. 1002 00:40:07,038 --> 00:40:08,473 When the safety guy says, "No", 1003 00:40:08,473 --> 00:40:09,708 I'm like, "Eh, safety guy says 1004 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:11,176 it's not a good idea." 1005 00:40:11,176 --> 00:40:12,677 You know. 1006 00:40:12,677 --> 00:40:14,846 I wanna know, you know, another favorite movie 1007 00:40:14,846 --> 00:40:17,148 that I love that you're in is 1008 00:40:17,148 --> 00:40:18,082 The Departed. 1009 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,351 Yeah. 1010 00:40:19,351 --> 00:40:20,752 What was that experience like? 1011 00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:23,087 How did you come about that part? 1012 00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:24,823 This is the worst... this is like... 1013 00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:26,157 How many names am I gonna drop 1014 00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:27,992 - that I have to pick up? - You're allowed. 1015 00:40:27,992 --> 00:40:30,762 - You're allowed to. - We were at George Clooney's house. 1016 00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:32,197 - Sure. - In Italy. 1017 00:40:32,197 --> 00:40:33,332 - We figured you knew him. - Huh... 1018 00:40:33,332 --> 00:40:35,934 And Lucy and I were sitting there at the pool. 1019 00:40:36,435 --> 00:40:37,902 Tracy, Lucy is... 1020 00:40:37,902 --> 00:40:39,170 Tell Tracy who Lucy is. 1021 00:40:39,170 --> 00:40:41,340 Tracy, Lucy is my wife. 1022 00:40:43,107 --> 00:40:44,843 How fun is it that he can look at Tracy 1023 00:40:44,843 --> 00:40:47,045 while he does it? 1024 00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:48,747 So, Brad Pitt... 1025 00:40:48,747 --> 00:40:50,449 walks over... 1026 00:40:50,449 --> 00:40:51,616 Sounds like a very nice weekend. 1027 00:40:51,616 --> 00:40:52,584 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1028 00:40:53,818 --> 00:40:55,387 Look, we were working, okay? 1029 00:40:55,387 --> 00:40:56,488 - Sure. - It was hard. 1030 00:40:56,488 --> 00:40:58,323 - It was really hard. - Rehearsing. 1031 00:40:58,323 --> 00:41:00,792 And Brad sat down next to us and goes, 1032 00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:02,927 "Hey, Matty... 1033 00:41:02,927 --> 00:41:05,330 you wanna do a movie with Martin Scorsese?" 1034 00:41:05,330 --> 00:41:06,531 - No way. - What? 1035 00:41:06,531 --> 00:41:08,166 And I was like... "Yeah." 1036 00:41:08,267 --> 00:41:09,501 Yeah... 1037 00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:11,636 And he was like, "No, I'm actually serious." 1038 00:41:11,636 --> 00:41:14,105 - Well... - I'm like, "What are you actually talking about?" 1039 00:41:14,105 --> 00:41:15,807 Drop the script on your towel right then? 1040 00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:17,842 - Yeah and he goes... - And then the script went... 1041 00:41:17,842 --> 00:41:20,312 - boop! - Yeah, exactly. 1042 00:41:22,881 --> 00:41:24,849 Yeah. 1043 00:41:25,717 --> 00:41:29,120 Page one... 1044 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,890 Did you at any point say, "Well, hang on second, bruh. 1045 00:41:31,890 --> 00:41:33,191 Why aren't you playing this part?" 1046 00:41:33,292 --> 00:41:35,827 He felt like he had aged out of it. 1047 00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:37,362 He's just unbelievable generous. 1048 00:41:37,362 --> 00:41:39,130 And he goes, "Nah, I think it'd be better if you did it." 1049 00:41:39,130 --> 00:41:40,965 - Really? - I love me some Brad Pitt. 1050 00:41:40,965 --> 00:41:42,467 It's hard to not look at him. 1051 00:41:42,467 --> 00:41:43,902 It's so hard not to look at him. 1052 00:41:44,936 --> 00:41:46,871 He's the most regular guy. He's from Missouri. 1053 00:41:46,871 --> 00:41:48,740 - Yeah. - He just couldn't be... 1054 00:41:48,740 --> 00:41:51,175 He couldn't be more normal, Jason. 1055 00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,311 Yeah. 1056 00:41:52,311 --> 00:41:53,712 He's really normal. 1057 00:41:53,712 --> 00:41:57,316 He pushes down the instinct to be shitty to people. 1058 00:41:57,316 --> 00:41:59,318 - Yeah... - He actually said, "Hey, man, I just wanna say 1059 00:41:59,318 --> 00:42:00,985 I loved your show so much, man. 1060 00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:02,220 I watched the whole thing." 1061 00:42:02,321 --> 00:42:03,622 I was so shocked and I was like, "Really?" 1062 00:42:03,622 --> 00:42:05,624 He goes, "Oh, I just loved..." And then he gave me a big hug. 1063 00:42:05,624 --> 00:42:07,058 And I said, "Thanks, man." And... 1064 00:42:07,058 --> 00:42:09,093 then we go to the door to go out. I say, "I'll see you guys later." 1065 00:42:09,093 --> 00:42:11,162 and I walk outside and I slid down the wall. 1066 00:42:11,162 --> 00:42:12,564 I went, "Oh, my God." 1067 00:42:12,564 --> 00:42:14,666 Oh, my God. 1068 00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:15,800 Yeah, yeah. 1069 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,337 Who do you think he thought you were? 1070 00:42:22,807 --> 00:42:25,410 I wanna introduce everybody to the real Jason. 1071 00:42:25,410 --> 00:42:28,112 He's finally showed up. 1072 00:42:28,112 --> 00:42:31,249 Well, speaking of normal, Matthew Damon, 1073 00:42:31,350 --> 00:42:33,985 you're one of the most normal people I've ever known. 1074 00:42:33,985 --> 00:42:35,420 - Is that it? - Thank you for being here. 1075 00:42:35,420 --> 00:42:36,821 - Oh, my God. - That's it. 1076 00:42:36,821 --> 00:42:38,357 That's all we have time for. 1077 00:42:38,357 --> 00:42:39,658 All right. 1078 00:42:39,658 --> 00:42:43,127 - Thank you for being... - Matt Damon! 1079 00:42:43,127 --> 00:42:45,497 Guys, thank you. 1080 00:42:49,768 --> 00:42:51,503 - Wow. - Wow! 1081 00:42:53,171 --> 00:42:54,573 - That was quick. - Yeah. 1082 00:42:55,407 --> 00:42:57,576 I love that man. 1083 00:42:57,576 --> 00:42:59,411 - [Will and Jason] Yeah. - [Sean] He's the kind, like... 1084 00:42:59,411 --> 00:43:01,513 I was talking about kindness and everything. 1085 00:43:01,513 --> 00:43:02,947 I do think it's interesting though, you know, 1086 00:43:02,947 --> 00:43:05,083 when he did The Talented Mr. Ripley, 1087 00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:06,918 which is about a gay... 1088 00:43:06,918 --> 00:43:08,052 What's that? Was it me? 1089 00:43:08,052 --> 00:43:09,721 - Here he comes. - No, no... 1090 00:43:09,721 --> 00:43:11,390 - We're not doing a bye. - No, no, not yet. 1091 00:43:11,390 --> 00:43:13,525 Usually, this is where Sean starts wrapping up 1092 00:43:13,525 --> 00:43:14,593 and his brain breaks, 1093 00:43:14,593 --> 00:43:16,127 trying to work his way to a bye. 1094 00:43:16,127 --> 00:43:17,896 You can feel it. 1095 00:43:17,896 --> 00:43:20,399 - I'm getting it right now. -"I... just... you know... 1096 00:43:20,399 --> 00:43:22,567 Talented... Mr. Ripley..." 1097 00:43:23,735 --> 00:43:25,036 I was gonna say, 1098 00:43:25,036 --> 00:43:27,038 in The Talented Mr. Ripley, he plays a gay con man 1099 00:43:27,038 --> 00:43:29,073 and that's about the time he started hanging out with me. 1100 00:43:29,073 --> 00:43:30,909 But... 1101 00:43:30,909 --> 00:43:32,210 We are thinking about... 1102 00:43:32,210 --> 00:43:33,277 getting rid of the bye. 1103 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:34,813 - Yeah, what do you guys think? - The bye... 1104 00:43:36,415 --> 00:43:38,817 - Yeah, both of them... - It's so cringy... 1105 00:43:38,817 --> 00:43:40,084 So, listen, if you wanna 1106 00:43:40,084 --> 00:43:41,486 pick on anybody after this show, 1107 00:43:41,486 --> 00:43:43,455 these three said they want us to get rid of it. 1108 00:43:43,455 --> 00:43:45,890 But about if we just change it to a... 1109 00:43:45,890 --> 00:43:48,927 "See ya" and then we can find a "See"... 1110 00:43:48,927 --> 00:43:50,995 - But we can't think of... - Wait, wait, wait, wait... 1111 00:43:50,995 --> 00:43:52,263 - ...any more byes. - Wait. 1112 00:43:52,263 --> 00:43:53,331 Wait, wait. 1113 00:43:53,432 --> 00:43:54,733 Let's vote on it right now. 1114 00:43:54,733 --> 00:43:56,801 Um, so, "Bye"... 1115 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,307 - And... - Or "See ya"... 1116 00:44:05,009 --> 00:44:07,245 - I didn't pitch it well. - Well, so you know which one won. 1117 00:44:08,713 --> 00:44:10,982 Bye! 1118 00:44:10,982 --> 00:44:13,051 Thank you, Madison. 1119 00:44:13,051 --> 00:44:14,986 Thank you guys so much.