1
00:00:00,844 --> 00:00:02,813
God, are we old. Jesus God.

2
00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:05,816
I mean, I'm just fucking
sitting here,

3
00:00:05,816 --> 00:00:08,685
making sloppy joes, waiting
for my friends to come over.

4
00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:10,053
So sad.

5
00:00:11,422 --> 00:00:13,056
Hopefully there's enough
for everybody.

6
00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:15,326
Oh, I have chips.

7
00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:19,996
This is like coming
to Grandma's house for lunch.

8
00:00:19,996 --> 00:00:22,333
Sloppy joes and chips.

9
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:25,035
Anybody want some juice?

10
00:00:25,035 --> 00:00:27,771
SmartLess.

11
00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:33,710
SmartLess.

12
00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:52,529
- How are you?
- Pretty good.

13
00:00:52,529 --> 00:00:55,766
All right, I need keys, and
I need a phone.

14
00:00:55,766 --> 00:00:56,700
- Hi.
- Hi.

15
00:00:58,469 --> 00:01:01,972
It's not a great day
to wear a Swade shirt,

16
00:01:01,972 --> 00:01:05,776
but I'm assuming it's gonna be
air-conditioned on the inside.

17
00:01:09,946 --> 00:01:10,814
Jay.

18
00:01:11,715 --> 00:01:13,650
So hilarious.

19
00:01:14,485 --> 00:01:15,519
Gas-X.

20
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:17,788
- Hi!
- Hi.

21
00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:21,492
- How was your rest
last night?
- It was great.

22
00:01:21,492 --> 00:01:22,859
- Yeah?
- How about yours?

23
00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:26,363
- Pretty good. Seven hours.
- Yeah?

24
00:01:26,363 --> 00:01:28,599
How does it feel right now?
Doesn't it feel weird to have

25
00:01:28,599 --> 00:01:31,368
- taken a couple days off, and
now we're back?
- Yes.

26
00:01:31,368 --> 00:01:35,372
And we're here. We just came
from our own homes.
It's bizarre.

27
00:01:35,372 --> 00:01:37,208
Self-drive, you know?

28
00:01:37,208 --> 00:01:39,643
It feels like, "Oh,
should we bother?"

29
00:01:39,643 --> 00:01:41,077
With the
shows?

30
00:01:41,545 --> 00:01:42,479
Yeah.

31
00:01:43,647 --> 00:01:45,015
Like, do we need to do this?

32
00:01:45,816 --> 00:01:47,818
- Right, Jay?
- Yes, yes.

33
00:01:47,818 --> 00:01:48,985
- Don't you think?
- You wanna cancel?

34
00:01:50,587 --> 00:01:52,223
Is that an option?

35
00:01:52,223 --> 00:01:54,791
No, I'm actually friggin'
pumped for tonight.

36
00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:56,227
Me too. I'm super excited.

37
00:01:56,227 --> 00:01:57,728
God, I'm gonna be the one dragging.

38
00:01:57,728 --> 00:02:01,265
You wanna take a quick nappy
after we're done with this?
You have time.

39
00:02:01,265 --> 00:02:03,367
- You have two hours.
- I'll be fine.

40
00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:05,936
Are you sick? Did you not
get rest last night?

41
00:02:06,570 --> 00:02:07,804
- I'm just tired.
- Oh...

42
00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:10,307
...don't mind if I do.

43
00:02:10,307 --> 00:02:13,644
Careful of the sugar.
It'll drop you off a cliff.

44
00:02:13,644 --> 00:02:14,745
Not me.

45
00:02:31,495 --> 00:02:33,330
Homework, okay?

46
00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:34,798
It's important.

47
00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:39,770
And it had to be done in
these chairs.
I had them flown in.

48
00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:41,037
Um...

49
00:02:43,274 --> 00:02:46,443
This is what
keeps me classy.
I need to be in classy stuff.

50
00:02:47,644 --> 00:02:49,780
- I'm gonna go potty.
- What day off?

51
00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:51,948
- Somebody in here?
- You have to shit
again?

52
00:02:51,948 --> 00:02:54,918
- No, I gotta go potty.
I gotta evacuate.
- I did. Twice.

53
00:02:54,918 --> 00:02:56,186
- Since we've been
here?
- Yeah.

54
00:02:56,287 --> 00:02:57,621
Will you just move
this way? Just a little bit?

55
00:02:57,621 --> 00:02:59,656
- Twice. In there.
- What'd he say?

56
00:03:00,724 --> 00:03:02,393
Nothing. Don't tell him yet.
'Cause he sits.

57
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:04,861
- 'Cause he sits.
- 'Cause I sit?

58
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:14,871
That was free shit.

59
00:03:14,871 --> 00:03:17,308
Everything okay?
You tear anything?

60
00:03:18,975 --> 00:03:22,313
- Yeah, a little bit. I tore
one up in there.
- I know.

61
00:03:22,313 --> 00:03:24,448
I'm sorry, the building asked
me to take a photo.

62
00:03:27,451 --> 00:03:28,952
It's just for insurance.

63
00:03:34,558 --> 00:03:37,461
Jason, since you're a guest.
And you're gonna sit far side
of the couch?

64
00:03:37,461 --> 00:03:38,862
I think so, yeah.

65
00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:41,532
Yeah, 'cause I'm gonna sit far
side as well, 'cause I spent
the last

66
00:03:41,532 --> 00:03:44,100
- four shows looking at the
back of the guests.
- Oh, okay. Okay.

67
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:48,038
And so, like, I'm mad at it
and I'm dressing it up with
a smile.

68
00:03:48,038 --> 00:03:51,342
- But I was super angry.
- Uh, seems like you're still angry.

69
00:03:51,342 --> 00:03:53,877
No, I'm not. I'm smiling.

70
00:03:53,877 --> 00:03:57,247
Wait. Can I just ask
you something? Can we talk
through the thing?

71
00:03:57,348 --> 00:03:58,882
- Yeah, we're gonna walk it.
- We're gonna walk it.

72
00:03:58,882 --> 00:04:03,454
When we land in our
spot, we'll be able to pause.
And then we can do our...

73
00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:05,622
They'll give us the sign that
our mics are hot and

74
00:04:05,622 --> 00:04:09,726
we'll do our regular cold
opens. Everybody cool with
that? Is that kosher?

75
00:04:09,726 --> 00:04:13,897
- I guess. It passes the test.
- Well, let me tell you something.

76
00:04:13,897 --> 00:04:18,134
Sometimes in life,
things come at you. And you
gotta be ready for 'em.

77
00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:23,840
Because you never know,
when you're gonna
get another chance.

78
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,143
Sorry, I turned it into
The Musical.

79
00:04:27,143 --> 00:04:32,148
- Isn't that how all they all
start in Broadway?
- Chance. Chance, chance.

80
00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:33,750
Musicals. They always start
like that.

81
00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:37,988
- Hey don't worry about
shutting the door.
- Sometimes it's harder,

82
00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:40,256
- to take
a chance.
- Hey, man.

83
00:04:40,256 --> 00:04:42,926
This is a family show.

84
00:04:42,926 --> 00:04:45,396
Oh, come on in!

85
00:04:45,396 --> 00:04:48,198
- Oh, Archie A!
Archie Abel!
- Hi, bud.

86
00:04:48,198 --> 00:04:50,434
- Hi, Abe. Hi, Watt.
- Hi, dad.

87
00:04:51,201 --> 00:04:52,703
What's up?

88
00:04:52,703 --> 00:04:54,605
Success.

89
00:05:00,677 --> 00:05:04,981
No. Let me show you what the
move of a germaphobe is.
You ready?

90
00:05:04,981 --> 00:05:08,151
This is something I've just
incorporated into my program.

91
00:05:09,119 --> 00:05:10,687
Right here. Ready? Oh.

92
00:05:10,687 --> 00:05:13,289
This doesn't count because
it doesn't have a faucet.

93
00:05:13,289 --> 00:05:16,793
But if it had turnies on it,
what you do is,

94
00:05:16,793 --> 00:05:19,963
you wash your hands. You get
'em all clean.

95
00:05:19,963 --> 00:05:25,035
And you dry your hands while
the water is still running,
so you don't touch

96
00:05:25,035 --> 00:05:28,772
the little hoo-hahs.
The little levers.

97
00:05:28,772 --> 00:05:31,041
The faucet. The handles.
Whatever the--

98
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:35,011
So the water would still be
on, the water would still be
on, I'm wasting water, but I'm

99
00:05:35,011 --> 00:05:37,448
okay about it for
a brief moment.

100
00:05:37,448 --> 00:05:40,050
Then you turn them off
with this.

101
00:05:40,050 --> 00:05:43,053
You then go handle, here,
kick, and throw.

102
00:05:45,656 --> 00:05:46,557
Backstage?

103
00:05:47,558 --> 00:05:49,059
Yeah, that'll be cool.

104
00:05:49,059 --> 00:05:50,461
They can stand on the
side if they want to.

105
00:05:50,461 --> 00:05:51,261
Yeah.

106
00:05:54,197 --> 00:05:56,533
Love you, love you, love you.

107
00:05:56,533 --> 00:05:59,603
See you soon. Bye bye bye. Okay.

108
00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:10,747
You see Archie coming in, he's
like... When you see he's got
his buddy with him, he's like,

109
00:06:10,747 --> 00:06:11,915
-"Hey, Dad."
- I know.

110
00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:13,283
Is he not normally like that?

111
00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:16,052
No, he's just being very,
like, "Hey, Dad. What's going
on?"

112
00:06:16,052 --> 00:06:18,489
- So cute.
- I know, so sweet.

113
00:06:20,256 --> 00:06:21,324
My baby.

114
00:06:21,324 --> 00:06:22,993
- I love both of them so much.
- Yeah.

115
00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:27,954
- Hey, J. Did we figure out
your mic yet?
- I mean...

116
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,788
For fuck's sake. Hello?

117
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:37,330
- Okay.
- Will they be walking past
here?

118
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,466
Will they be here by
the end of tonight?

119
00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,801
Okay. Hey, thanks
for working with us.

120
00:06:42,801 --> 00:06:45,604
- Oh, Jesus.
- You're really fast.

121
00:06:45,604 --> 00:06:46,772
- Sammy.
- Watch your head.

122
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:50,176
- We're ready?
- No, we're not...

123
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,777
Did you say the guest
is ready?

124
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,613
- Okay, so it's a he.
- Oh, is it a male?

125
00:06:54,613 --> 00:06:56,382
So it's a he. Great.
Good to know.

126
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,223
Hello Los Angeles!

127
00:07:09,628 --> 00:07:12,565
We legit can't believe you
guys listened to the podcast.

128
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,968
Yeah, that's really been
a min-blower.

129
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,336
So, first of all, thank you
for doing that.

130
00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:20,539
We do feel like when you
listen to the podcast,

131
00:07:20,539 --> 00:07:22,608
since you could fast forward
all the crap parts,

132
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,544
or just go to a different
episode, here you're trapped.

133
00:07:25,544 --> 00:07:29,182
- Yeah.
- So we feel like we do have
to juice it a little bit so--

134
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:33,052
Do you feel like people maybe
double time or double speed
your questions?

135
00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:33,987
They have to.

136
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,459
'Cause that's a really good
<i>SmartLess</i> hack.

137
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:45,098
They did laugh and applaud
like they know exactly what
you're talking about.

138
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:48,434
But Sean, you got a hard out
tonight, right? 'Cause you
gotta get back to camp?

139
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:52,371
- I...
- Yeah, 'cause you're
dressed like...

140
00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:55,041
- He's got his whistle in his pocket.
- Yeah.

141
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,410
- And the other
one is giving a high five.
- No.

142
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:02,015
You look very, very cute.

143
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:06,285
I look a little child-like,
which is very scary for
a 51 year-old.

144
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:09,688
I was trying to think of
a good LA story, like when I
first moved here.

145
00:08:09,688 --> 00:08:11,390
Oh, settle in, everybody.

146
00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:14,527
- Somebody's prepped
a little bit.
- No.

147
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,229
I was... Just before I...

148
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,896
Does it involve the 101?

149
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:24,570
- Boy, traffic is terrible.
- Oh, God.

150
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:27,706
No, when I first moved here
and I got <i>Will Grace,</i>
I went to--

151
00:08:27,706 --> 00:08:30,109
- Hold for applause.
- Yeah.

152
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:35,881
I didn't have two
nickels to rub together. I had
no money.

153
00:08:35,881 --> 00:08:38,351
And the producers invited us
out to a dinner.

154
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:42,055
So I drove my Toyota Corolla,
which had a hubcap missing,
and a window out...

155
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,422
- ...with the, you know--
- Plastic?

156
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:45,224
- Yeah, plastic.
- And duct tape?

157
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,759
Yes, absolutely. 100 per cent.

158
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:48,061
- Come on.
- I swear to God.

159
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,363
- And so I drove--
- Is that the car you drove
from Chicago?

160
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,832
- Yes, yes. And it broke down
in Colorado.
- It is?

161
00:08:53,832 --> 00:08:55,901
- And I paid some guy,
I don't know.
- A mechanic, hopefully.

162
00:08:55,901 --> 00:08:57,736
I don't know.

163
00:08:57,736 --> 00:09:00,973
Not just some guy on the road.

164
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:06,079
So I get to the restaurant,
extra early because I'm so
nervous about--

165
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,181
- Were you embarrassed about...
- I was embarrassed of my car

166
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:11,184
because it was, like, pieced
together with scotch tape.

167
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:16,189
So I got there, I went in.
And then before the dinner
was over, I kinda left early

168
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:19,258
so that I could get my car
from the valet and leave
before they could see me.

169
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:21,094
So, I'm like, "Bye, everybody.
Oh, my God I'm so excited."

170
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,796
I come out to the valet and
I'm standing there.

171
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:27,933
And then Jimmy Burrows,
Debra, Megan, Eric,

172
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:30,436
the producers, couple writers,
and now we're all
standing there.

173
00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:32,004
I'm like, "Oh, my God."

174
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:36,842
And so, he pulls the car up,
and it's, like, you know,
barely getting there.

175
00:09:36,842 --> 00:09:39,112
The last hubcap rolls off.

176
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,381
And I say to the valet, I go,
'What did you do to my car?"

177
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,019
Oh, my God.

178
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,723
First of all, it was a Porsche
and now it's not a Porsche anymore.

179
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:53,626
Now, ironically you did end up
getting a Porsche?

180
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,661
- They gave everybody a Porsche
on the show.
- Right.

181
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:58,297
Which is also embarrassing,
but I also didn't have money
when they gave me a Porsche,

182
00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:00,999
so I'm like, give me the
fucking money. What do
I need another car for?

183
00:10:00,999 --> 00:10:03,369
But it was very, very kind
of them.

184
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:05,738
- You sold it, right?
- Right away.

185
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,475
I had to pay my rent.

186
00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:12,311
- So let's get a guest
out here.
- All right. Let's get a guest.

187
00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:19,185
Our guest tonight is a force,
a comedic firehose.

188
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:23,489
This man can't be contained.
His energy and positivity is
infectious, y'all.

189
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:28,161
He's done tons of movies,
TV shows, released multiple
comedy albums and specials.

190
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,197
He's got 45 nominations for
everything from Emmys
to Grammys.

191
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:34,867
He's got a frickin' video game
I think. Somehow though,
he's been nice enough

192
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:37,670
to pull it over to the side,
give us a little time for a
chat and giggle.

193
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:41,740
Here on the SmartLess couch,
gang, buckle up it's the one
and only, Kevin Hart!

194
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,622
- Will!
- Hey, buddy.

195
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:59,458
Man, I can't wait. He owes me
a movie.

196
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,527
Right?

197
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,896
- Hello, hello, hello.
- Kevin Hart!

198
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:07,833
What up?

199
00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,269
I want you...

200
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:13,105
I want you guys to lower your
expectations because I've been drinking.

201
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:18,444
- Just lower. Lower 'em down.
- That's fair. Fair warning.

202
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:19,778
- It's tequila.
- Whoa.

203
00:11:19,778 --> 00:11:21,547
- Wow. Good for you.
- Is that really?

204
00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:25,518
- And then behind there is just
a chest full of weed, right?
- Some shit. Some shit here.

205
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:29,222
- Good for you.
- Sit back on the couch.

206
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,856
What? What's your fucking
problem?

207
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,258
Yeah!

208
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:36,028
- Sean's in charge of blocking.
- Yeah, he really just pushed
me back.

209
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,397
Get the fuck back, Kevin.

210
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,967
By the way, I'm such a huge
fan. You've been on my list
to come on as well,

211
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:43,636
but I can't believe Jason
had you out.

212
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:47,373
I cornered him and he really
didn't have a chance to say no
I apologize for that.

213
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:50,576
No, you didn't corner me.
Look, you guys got a good
thing going here.

214
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:54,347
You got a great thing.
Actually, you got a fantastic
thing. You got a fucking crowd

215
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:55,814
full of people to support you guys.

216
00:11:55,814 --> 00:11:57,550
That's them.

217
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,051
And I'll be honest.

218
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:02,488
I'll be honest. And this is
only for you guys, I thought
it was <i>Ozark.</i>

219
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:05,258
I did.

220
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:09,528
I just found out just now
this isn't <i>Ozark.</i>

221
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:17,270
No, on a serious note,
Jason Bateman, to me,
is Hollywood Royalty.

222
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,573
- That's the tequila talking.
- Definition. Will falls in
this category too.

223
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,074
- Sean...
- Uhh...

224
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,943
- You shouldn't have pushed him.
- He did push me.

225
00:12:24,943 --> 00:12:26,345
Congratulations, you guys.

226
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:32,451
Now, this is very foreign
to us.

227
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:35,988
- But you have spent a lot of
time in front of audiences.
- Yeah, yeah.

228
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,756
- Doing stand-up,
doing specials.
- Yeah.

229
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:43,028
You played in front of 55,000
people in Philadelphia for
your last special?

230
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:44,830
Yeah, I'll tell you guys.
This is intimate.
This is nice.

231
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:50,436
Kevin, we first met over 20
years ago.
You were a stand-up.

232
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,704
Wha...?

233
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,005
- True. It was true.
- Do you have an apology
to make?

234
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,875
And I got this great photo
that's now at my house.

235
00:12:56,875 --> 00:13:02,315
And, like, Kevin, Seth Rogen,
me, Amy, January Jones,

236
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:06,852
Jason Segal, Nick Stoller,
Judd Apatow...

237
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:08,454
Guess who I was. Guess.

238
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:10,523
No. Not gonna do it.

239
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:13,326
- Take a guess. Say it. Say it.
- You're not gonna get me
cancelled tonight.

240
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:16,329
I'm gonna make it
one more day.

241
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,031
I've got...

242
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:22,735
I've got questions that I've
gone over here that are
cancel-proof.

243
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:25,871
All right,
you passed that test.
All right.

244
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:28,441
Can I guess?
You're the black one!

245
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,342
There you go!

246
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,347
Yes. Yes. By the way,
you're done, buddy.

247
00:13:36,915 --> 00:13:39,151
You're done. That's right.

248
00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:43,356
By the way, I'm a huge
<i>Shark Tank</i> fan,

249
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,958
- and I saw you on <i>Shark Tank,</i>
and I was blown away.
- Thank you, man.

250
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,225
Were you pitching something
or judging?

251
00:13:47,225 --> 00:13:48,927
- No no.
- What the fuck is that?

252
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,465
- I've not seen the show.
- I'm the shark.

253
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,600
So you weren't pitching, like,
"I got an idea?"

254
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:56,635
- I don't know!
- No, no, no.

255
00:13:56,635 --> 00:13:58,404
I'm Kevin Hart, bitch!

256
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,075
I'm not pitching the idea.

257
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:08,381
But hang on. If I've got some
great idea for the new Swift
or something,

258
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:11,016
I don't wanna fund that.
I want Mark Cuban
to fund that.

259
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,151
So I'm gonna go on the
show and I'm gonna pitch him.

260
00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:16,722
That's stupid 'cause you could
just call Mark Cuban.

261
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:23,195
If you go on national television...

262
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,163
It's true, I've built an
extra step there.

263
00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:26,632
It's stupid.

264
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:30,235
I always knew you had all
these things going on,
but I just didn't know

265
00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:34,407
at that extent. I mean,
you have this huge successful
company that makes

266
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:37,075
all off these projects and
these things come to life.

267
00:14:37,075 --> 00:14:39,945
Is there a goal in mind where,
like, if I can reach that,

268
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:42,247
I can maybe settle down and
calm down a little bit?

269
00:14:42,247 --> 00:14:45,851
There definitely is. But I
think that for me, that would

270
00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:49,688
be very selfish, knowing my background.

271
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:54,059
If I go, "I'm done," I tap
out, and I'm just gonna ride
out and be good,

272
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:57,095
when I have the opportunity
to create other opportunities,

273
00:14:57,095 --> 00:15:00,999
then I think I'm doing a
disservice to those that need
a service.

274
00:15:00,999 --> 00:15:05,270
It's my fucking job to try
to give to those that can
benefit off of it.

275
00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:07,205
That's my job.

276
00:15:07,205 --> 00:15:09,975
It's why I do this podcast.
To help these guys out.

277
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,779
Good for you, Will.

278
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:17,816
So you say you're not gonna
pack up and retire
anytime soon.

279
00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:20,285
Are you gonna squeeze in any
more of these great movies

280
00:15:20,285 --> 00:15:21,954
- with Dwayne Johnson before
that?
- Yeah.

281
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,656
'Cause the chemistry is just awesome.

282
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:27,125
You guys think this
relationship is so great.
My back hurts.

283
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,729
Carrying that guy is tough.

284
00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:36,469
Carrying that big mother
fucker to the finish line
is tough.

285
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:41,640
So, not to be creepy, but if
you took all your clothes off
right now, are we looking at--

286
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,710
- Not creepy.
- Not to be creepy.

287
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:48,714
You basically have body
builder shape. Have done for
a while. That's admirable.

288
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,282
That takes a lot of discipline.

289
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:54,386
Here's the thing, man.
It's all about the walk away
to the bathroom, right?

290
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:58,256
Like, if you're married,
every morning you get up.

291
00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:03,496
And you go to the bathroom.
That bathroom walk away is
always viewed by your partner.

292
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,330
And, in my mind,

293
00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:08,667
You're working out
a lot on the back of yourself.

294
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,336
Hands, buttocks, back, black.

295
00:16:11,336 --> 00:16:14,139
- The fuck are you talking
about, man? All right.
- Hey, let him finish, man.

296
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,074
You wanna know where
to fuck your life up?

297
00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:19,712
You walk to the bathroom and
you hear suddenly, "Ugh!"

298
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,649
It will destroy you.

299
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,919
So in the back of my mind,
I don't ever wanna hear that.

300
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:32,991
So when I walk away, I tiptoe.
And I make sure that I don't
hear my wife go, "Ugh!"

301
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,092
Right.

302
00:16:34,092 --> 00:16:36,428
That means she's no longer
happy with that.

303
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:37,763
It's also all about keeping
it in shape.

304
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:39,632
When I walk away
I need you to know,

305
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,166
that's what you just fucked.

306
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,801
Like, that's, that's...

307
00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:46,004
- Like, that's my--
- Okay.

308
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:47,305
Yeah, that's my take away.

309
00:16:47,305 --> 00:16:50,208
You know, so, I'm just doing
the math here.

310
00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:52,545
- So you're walking away
from her...
- Go ahead.

311
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,379
- She's looking at your rear
and she's saying...
- Yeah

312
00:16:54,379 --> 00:16:56,649
-"I just fucked that so..."
- Take that in.

313
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,050
I'm just doing the math.

314
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:00,218
- Wait a minute, hold on.
- Yeah, exactly.

315
00:17:00,218 --> 00:17:01,554
- Yeah.
- Let's go back.

316
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,388
- Still rolling.
- All right, let me switch
it up.

317
00:17:03,388 --> 00:17:05,724
My husband
understands that.

318
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:06,659
Good luck.

319
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,226
Good luck.

320
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:10,295
Oh, shit!

321
00:17:13,431 --> 00:17:14,700
I love...

322
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,302
- I love a cancelled checkmate.
- All right.

323
00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:18,303
By the way.

324
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:20,573
He's off the...

325
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:24,577
He's no longer on
the cancelled, need, or read.

326
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,444
As black people,
we've given him a pass.

327
00:17:26,444 --> 00:17:28,180
- Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
- All right.

328
00:17:28,914 --> 00:17:30,816
- Now we should--
- Checkmate.

329
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,177
By the way, the walking away
thing I love because you don't
ever look behind you.

330
00:17:36,177 --> 00:17:37,278
You just walk away.

331
00:17:37,278 --> 00:17:38,613
If you ever look back,
that's a sign of insecurity.

332
00:17:38,613 --> 00:17:40,248
- That's right.
- Yeah, you don't ever wanna
look back.

333
00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:43,018
How do you feel... Jason,
how do you about Amanda
as you walk away?

334
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,385
He looks back all the time.

335
00:17:46,887 --> 00:17:48,289
You check it all the time.

336
00:17:48,289 --> 00:17:50,658
My move is a little bit
more like a moonwalk
to the bathroom so...

337
00:17:50,658 --> 00:17:51,926
Do you...

338
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:56,164
If you walk backward
just T-shirt and your
shirt talking?

339
00:17:56,164 --> 00:17:58,566
I don't think, Jason,
wears drawers.

340
00:17:58,566 --> 00:18:01,669
I think it's just a T-shirt,
dick and ass out.

341
00:18:01,669 --> 00:18:03,404
And he's just like...

342
00:18:03,404 --> 00:18:05,373
- That's how I picture it too.
- Yeah, yeah.

343
00:18:05,373 --> 00:18:07,042
This body showers
with a T-shirt on.

344
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,509
Winnie the Pooh.

345
00:18:08,509 --> 00:18:11,046
- Yeah, yeah.
- Winnie the Pooh
is what I picture you as.

346
00:18:11,946 --> 00:18:13,048
Yeah.

347
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:15,116
Wait, do you all...
Does anybody sleep naked?

348
00:18:15,116 --> 00:18:16,851
- Do you sleep--
- I'm a naked sleeper.

349
00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:17,885
- Do you?
- Yeah, yeah.

350
00:18:17,885 --> 00:18:19,687
- Yeah, fuck yeah.
- Really?

351
00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:21,356
Would you keep all this
enclosed?

352
00:18:21,356 --> 00:18:22,323
Oh, no.

353
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:25,960
Are we looking at your sleep
outfit right now?

354
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:29,597
Absolutely, I'm going night
night in between shows
in this.

355
00:18:29,597 --> 00:18:31,632
Do it. By the way,
just a favor,
don't say night night.

356
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:32,500
What do you...

357
00:18:34,269 --> 00:18:35,236
Sean, what do you wear?

358
00:18:35,236 --> 00:18:36,404
Always the same thing.

359
00:18:36,404 --> 00:18:38,973
I wear shorts and
a long sleeves, like,
loose shirt

360
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:42,210
because Scotty leaves the air
conditioning at, like,
you know, 20 below.

361
00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:44,279
Okay and what kind of shorts?

362
00:18:44,279 --> 00:18:45,313
- What?
- Shorts?

363
00:18:45,313 --> 00:18:46,981
- I know, I know.
- Yeah, yeah.

364
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:49,217
Yeah, because when
the air conditioning is on

365
00:18:49,217 --> 00:18:52,087
and you wear sweats
and then the comforter
it's too hot

366
00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:54,755
- So, I wear shorts
with one leg in, one leg out,
- Yeah.

367
00:18:54,755 --> 00:18:56,424
and then a long sleeve

368
00:18:56,424 --> 00:18:58,193
- so you don't have to have
the cover on you.
- Yeah.

369
00:18:58,193 --> 00:18:59,327
It acts as the cover.

370
00:18:59,327 --> 00:19:00,461
What kind of shorts?

371
00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:01,896
Are we talking, like,
a thick shorts are we, like,--

372
00:19:01,896 --> 00:19:03,264
Yeah, like,
a flannel shorts

373
00:19:03,264 --> 00:19:06,167
Just because, to really match
my... Don't look at me
like that.

374
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:07,535
What do you mean?

375
00:19:07,535 --> 00:19:08,903
- What?
- What do you mean?

376
00:19:08,903 --> 00:19:11,872
In the one area your ass needs
to be clean, you sweating
it out.

377
00:19:11,872 --> 00:19:14,142
- You got a flannel shorts.
- No!

378
00:19:14,142 --> 00:19:15,676
It's too cold to sweat anywhere.

379
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:20,415
Bullshit, that's a flannel
shorts, under a fucking duvet,
with a cover.

380
00:19:20,415 --> 00:19:21,716
You stink.

381
00:19:21,716 --> 00:19:23,351
- You fucking stink.
- You know what?

382
00:19:23,351 --> 00:19:25,186
You stain your sheets sleeping naked.

383
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:26,754
By the way,

384
00:19:27,588 --> 00:19:29,424
good point,
which is why we go black.

385
00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:30,625
Black sheets.

386
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,928
I thought about that.

387
00:19:33,928 --> 00:19:35,696
You just got recancelled Sean.

388
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:36,764
Recancelled.

389
00:19:36,764 --> 00:19:38,199
I'm back on top, bitch.

390
00:19:40,468 --> 00:19:43,003
Everybody who sleeps naked,
you're staining your sheets

391
00:19:43,003 --> 00:19:44,572
from getting up in the middle
of the night and going to pee.

392
00:19:44,572 --> 00:19:46,307
- You know, what I'm saying?
- Only if you don't shower before.

393
00:19:46,307 --> 00:19:48,943
There's a couple drops there,
so you're gonna have to change
your sheets more often.

394
00:19:48,943 --> 00:19:49,910
Next question.

395
00:19:49,910 --> 00:19:53,013
Wait, no wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

396
00:19:53,013 --> 00:19:55,250
- Who's staining your sheets?
- Who's dropping what?

397
00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:56,984
- Do you pee blood?
- No, no

398
00:19:58,319 --> 00:20:01,522
Who's dick is still dripping
when they get back in the bed?

399
00:20:01,522 --> 00:20:04,091
- I'm saying if you don't shake
it off enough...
- What are you doing?

400
00:20:04,091 --> 00:20:07,462
But I don't have to worry
about that
because I wear shorts.

401
00:20:08,763 --> 00:20:10,998
Now, do you pee sitting down?

402
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,969
- I almost punched you
in the fucking face just now.
- No.

403
00:20:16,571 --> 00:20:18,206
You pee sitting down, right?

404
00:20:18,206 --> 00:20:20,107
You're not old enough yet.

405
00:20:20,107 --> 00:20:21,542
I'm 42.

406
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:24,479
I peed sitting down for years
because I think it's rude
when, like,

407
00:20:24,479 --> 00:20:26,614
somebody comes over to your...
Like, a guy is coming over
to your house or whatever,

408
00:20:26,614 --> 00:20:29,250
and they pee and it splashes
and the don't clean it up.

409
00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:32,353
So, you know what guys?
Just sit down, it takes care
of all the splashing.

410
00:20:36,491 --> 00:20:38,259
There he is.
Uh-oh

411
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:43,164
And it stretches out
your back.

412
00:20:43,164 --> 00:20:45,600
- Yeah.
- Your back's gonna
start getting tight on you

413
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,501
at about 50.

414
00:20:46,501 --> 00:20:48,603
Sean, did you just say

415
00:20:48,603 --> 00:20:50,905
- just wanna make sure
I heard this.
- No, you misheard me.

416
00:20:50,905 --> 00:20:52,307
I know I fucking heard you.

417
00:20:52,307 --> 00:20:53,541
I fucking heard you.

418
00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:55,410
A lot of guys are, like, "Bah,
I don't fucking care, bah."

419
00:20:55,410 --> 00:20:57,745
And then it's just, like...
And then they walk away.

420
00:20:57,745 --> 00:20:59,814
So, you know, whoever comes
into my house I always say,

421
00:20:59,814 --> 00:21:01,349
"Hey please be neat
and wipe the seat."

422
00:21:03,351 --> 00:21:04,219
Wait, is there a sign?

423
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,220
Did you have a sign?

424
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,254
No, but that's a good idea.

425
00:21:08,122 --> 00:21:10,691
Um, all right, come on,
all right, so we're out
of the bathroom,

426
00:21:10,691 --> 00:21:11,592
we're out of the bedroom

427
00:21:11,592 --> 00:21:12,727
I'm traumatized
because he said--

428
00:21:12,727 --> 00:21:13,928
Wait, what about, what about--

429
00:21:13,928 --> 00:21:14,862
I'll let it go.

430
00:21:14,862 --> 00:21:16,331
I'll let it fucking go.

431
00:21:16,331 --> 00:21:19,234
But I don't like you saying
that we're all nasty
and pee on the seat.

432
00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:20,501
I've never peed
on the fucking seat.

433
00:21:20,501 --> 00:21:21,936
No I'm not saying,
I'm not saying

434
00:21:21,936 --> 00:21:22,937
He's got better aim.

435
00:21:22,937 --> 00:21:24,104
It was very racist what
he said.

436
00:21:24,104 --> 00:21:26,374
He suggested
that black people--

437
00:21:26,374 --> 00:21:28,243
You're on thin fucking ice Sean.

438
00:21:29,076 --> 00:21:31,078
It's gonna be tonight and
it's gonna be,

439
00:21:31,078 --> 00:21:33,581
"Dear diary, Kevin Hart scares
the shit out of me."

440
00:21:36,784 --> 00:21:39,554
By the way, by the way

441
00:21:39,554 --> 00:21:41,789
Sean has been growing on me
more and more

442
00:21:41,789 --> 00:21:43,791
- as I've been spending time
with him.
- I know, I know.

443
00:21:43,791 --> 00:21:45,059
Oh, thank you.

444
00:21:45,059 --> 00:21:47,027
- Come on, man, right?
- Thank you.

445
00:21:47,027 --> 00:21:49,430
- Me and you, you already know
where we sit.
- Yeah, yeah.

446
00:21:49,430 --> 00:21:50,631
- That's right, that's right.
- Right?

447
00:21:50,631 --> 00:21:52,767
I didn't cancel you,
you didn't cancel me. No.

448
00:21:52,767 --> 00:21:54,269
All right, we're back
on track.

449
00:22:04,979 --> 00:22:06,514
Jesus Christ, what a shitshow.

450
00:22:06,514 --> 00:22:07,948
He did not look good.

451
00:22:07,948 --> 00:22:09,884
These guys don't know
what the fuck their doing
out there.

452
00:22:10,918 --> 00:22:12,353
What a fucking shitshow.

453
00:22:13,688 --> 00:22:15,990
Jesus Christ,
who's producing this thing?

454
00:22:15,990 --> 00:22:17,725
It wasn't that good
or what?

455
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:19,193
One more?

456
00:22:21,662 --> 00:22:23,331
- But we're gonna Q and A it.
- Okay.

457
00:22:26,934 --> 00:22:28,436
What time is the T and A?

458
00:22:30,037 --> 00:22:31,005
In the next five,
10 minutes.

459
00:22:36,577 --> 00:22:39,314
Does that guy
have a sense of rhythm
onstage or what?

460
00:22:39,914 --> 00:22:41,115
Yeah, so good.

461
00:22:41,682 --> 00:22:43,150
Good guest, good show.

462
00:22:43,150 --> 00:22:46,321
He reads the room so well.

463
00:22:46,321 --> 00:22:47,488
Yeah, that was a great guest.

464
00:22:47,488 --> 00:22:49,023
From doing standup
for 20 years.

465
00:22:49,023 --> 00:22:50,325
Right.
...or longer.

466
00:22:50,325 --> 00:22:52,427
He knew we had
to punch him in the neck,
right away.

467
00:22:52,427 --> 00:22:54,028
He knew when to do it,
how to do it.

468
00:22:54,929 --> 00:22:56,697
Yeah, it was great,
super fun.

469
00:22:58,999 --> 00:23:01,836
- Dad.
- Hi, boys.
What'd you guys think?

470
00:23:02,503 --> 00:23:03,638
How was it?

471
00:23:03,638 --> 00:23:06,341
Did you hear that,
at the end he was like...

472
00:23:06,341 --> 00:23:07,908
Are you guys gonna stay
for the second show?

473
00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:09,810
No, might as well go home.

474
00:23:09,810 --> 00:23:11,912
Go chill, I'll be home after.

475
00:23:11,912 --> 00:23:13,348
Are you guys
gonna get some dinner?

476
00:23:15,182 --> 00:23:16,484
Yeah, get some pizza.

477
00:23:16,484 --> 00:23:18,152
Okay, come here.

478
00:23:18,152 --> 00:23:19,354
Are you guys ready?

479
00:23:19,354 --> 00:23:20,655
Yeah.

480
00:23:20,655 --> 00:23:22,222
I'll see you guys
at home later.

481
00:23:22,790 --> 00:23:23,758
You guys gonna split?

482
00:23:23,758 --> 00:23:25,426
- Yes.
- Thank you.

483
00:23:25,426 --> 00:23:26,961
- Thank you so much.
- Of course.

484
00:23:26,961 --> 00:23:28,629
Um, and I'll see you guys
at home after.

485
00:23:29,364 --> 00:23:31,165
- Okay.
- See ya later.

486
00:23:31,165 --> 00:23:32,367
Oh, my gosh,
look at this.

487
00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:33,534
An actual ticket.

488
00:23:33,534 --> 00:23:34,735
Now hang on a second.

489
00:23:35,703 --> 00:23:37,872
What the fuck is up
with this bigger font?

490
00:23:37,872 --> 00:23:39,374
Jason Bateman,
Sean Hayes--

491
00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:42,042
And then in the biggest font
on the whole ticket--

492
00:23:42,042 --> 00:23:43,511
Well, that's the draw dude.

493
00:23:43,511 --> 00:23:44,845
- Oh.
- They're gonna put the draw
in big.

494
00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:47,715
And it's free?

495
00:23:47,715 --> 00:23:48,849
We're not charging anything?

496
00:23:49,550 --> 00:23:50,818
Zero.

497
00:23:50,818 --> 00:23:51,919
It must be the backstage.

498
00:23:53,888 --> 00:23:55,222
No, I really have
an issue with the font.

499
00:23:55,222 --> 00:23:56,691
The font's way too big.

500
00:23:56,691 --> 00:23:57,558
Let me see it.

501
00:23:58,893 --> 00:23:59,960
Save that for my scrapbook.

502
00:24:00,928 --> 00:24:01,829
Put it in your hope chest.

503
00:24:07,402 --> 00:24:09,604
That's two flushers
by the way.

504
00:24:11,906 --> 00:24:13,441
- It's a double.
- Fuck off.

505
00:24:13,441 --> 00:24:14,875
Somebody loves...

506
00:24:14,875 --> 00:24:17,578
Inspector said it to me,
"Your name that size, huh?"

507
00:24:18,413 --> 00:24:19,980
About the font on the ticket.

508
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:21,315
Yeah, what the fuck?

509
00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:23,751
- Why is his name
bigger than ours, Sean?
- Oh, that's so funny.

510
00:24:24,919 --> 00:24:26,153
Yeah, that's--
It's not funny.

511
00:24:26,153 --> 00:24:27,522
- It's clearly a mistake.
- I don't think
it's funny.

512
00:24:28,255 --> 00:24:29,757
It's a mistake.

513
00:24:29,757 --> 00:24:32,226
- And it says on the back,
Bateman is raging.
- Who did you contact?

514
00:24:32,226 --> 00:24:34,328
Who did you contact
to make that happen, Will?

515
00:24:36,631 --> 00:24:37,598
That's not a mistake.

516
00:24:38,699 --> 00:24:40,000
It's a mistake.

517
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,803
Mitch said, "We heard
the fans--

518
00:24:44,271 --> 00:24:45,806
And we fonted appropriately.

519
00:24:46,507 --> 00:24:47,341
He said, Mitch said,

520
00:24:48,443 --> 00:24:51,779
"We did an exit poll
from the first couple
of shows

521
00:24:51,779 --> 00:24:53,113
and we said to the fans,

522
00:24:53,113 --> 00:24:57,251
Who really stood out
on the ticket?"
they called it.

523
00:24:57,251 --> 00:24:58,753
They didn't actually mean
the physical...

524
00:24:59,353 --> 00:25:00,821
And then people said me.

525
00:25:00,821 --> 00:25:03,357
I didn't wanna say anything,
obviously, 'cause I love you
guys a lot.

526
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:04,892
And I think you guys
have been doing a great job.

527
00:25:04,892 --> 00:25:06,994
It's great to meet you too.
I'm right here man.

528
00:25:06,994 --> 00:25:08,195
It's great to meet you too.

529
00:25:08,195 --> 00:25:09,764
- Are you a--
- Okay?

530
00:25:09,764 --> 00:25:11,265
- I just washed my hands.
- Are you a friend
of Scottie's?

531
00:25:11,766 --> 00:25:12,933
- Yeah.
- Okay.

532
00:25:12,933 --> 00:25:14,769
Hey, guys, save a little
something for the stage, huh.

533
00:25:14,769 --> 00:25:16,737
Oh Okay, thanks man!

534
00:25:16,737 --> 00:25:19,740
First today in showbiz
and everything's so...

535
00:25:19,740 --> 00:25:22,176
Really appreciate the note
you fucking dick.

536
00:25:24,612 --> 00:25:25,480
Where'd you get that?

537
00:25:26,246 --> 00:25:27,347
What this lip balm?

538
00:25:27,347 --> 00:25:28,716
- Give me some of that.
- I brought it from home.

539
00:25:28,716 --> 00:25:30,284
Because I thought about
what am I doing tonight,

540
00:25:30,284 --> 00:25:32,587
Oh, I'm doing a show,
maybe I should have some
lip balm.

541
00:25:32,587 --> 00:25:34,221
That's where I got it

542
00:25:34,221 --> 00:25:36,090
Oh, so wait let's keep it.

543
00:25:39,259 --> 00:25:40,895
Are we all three?

544
00:25:40,895 --> 00:25:42,062
What? I'm just wiping it off.

545
00:25:42,062 --> 00:25:44,231
- No, not on the inside
of your palm.
- You pathetic

546
00:25:44,231 --> 00:25:46,501
motherfuckers,
you're my fucking stick.

547
00:25:50,004 --> 00:25:51,506
Why do you move it,
not your face?

548
00:25:51,506 --> 00:25:54,542
- Isn't this how you do it?
- That's how I wash my legs
in the shower.

549
00:25:54,542 --> 00:25:56,343
I put my thing here
and I move my leg like that.

550
00:25:57,612 --> 00:25:58,513
Huh.
Yeah.

551
00:25:59,313 --> 00:26:00,214
Um.

552
00:26:15,685 --> 00:26:17,487
- What are you listening?
- Calm down about it.

553
00:26:17,487 --> 00:26:20,423
Now again, check in
with your face very quickly.

554
00:26:21,224 --> 00:26:22,960
Right now, I'm smiling.
Am I not?

555
00:26:24,027 --> 00:26:26,829
It is the definition
of a furrowed brow.

556
00:26:26,829 --> 00:26:28,498
But I'm elated right now.

557
00:26:28,498 --> 00:26:30,700
Okay, again, it doesn't...

558
00:26:31,734 --> 00:26:33,536
I've gotta go get
some work done.

559
00:26:33,536 --> 00:26:36,439
- Oh, my God!
- It comes across as so heavy.

560
00:26:36,439 --> 00:26:39,709
What if I had some sort of,
like, strings put and
there's just a little thing...

561
00:26:39,709 --> 00:26:41,178
Like hula hoop
and you just pull 'em.

562
00:26:41,178 --> 00:26:44,447
That goes eyebrow and side,
so, I'm smiling.

563
00:26:45,983 --> 00:26:47,117
To do what? Start now?

564
00:26:48,118 --> 00:26:49,052
Here we go.

565
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:50,988
Here we go.

566
00:26:51,554 --> 00:26:53,090
- All right.
- Okay.

567
00:26:53,090 --> 00:26:55,758
- Last show, last show.
- Last show, I hope
there's not a lot of stares.

568
00:26:55,758 --> 00:26:58,528
But if there are stares
it's good
because I haven't exercised

569
00:26:58,528 --> 00:26:59,997
- in about six months.
- You know
what's amazing?

570
00:26:59,997 --> 00:27:01,064
Terrible,
finish strong.

571
00:27:01,064 --> 00:27:03,300
I feel like we've come,
like, a really long way.

572
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:04,667
Like, I feel
like this journey...

573
00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:06,369
Can I just talk a second
about the journey

574
00:27:06,369 --> 00:27:08,005
- with you guys?
- No, please don't.

575
00:27:08,005 --> 00:27:11,008
- Wasn't that what your
original podcast gonna be?
- Yeah.

576
00:27:11,008 --> 00:27:12,509
But why won't you
be open to talk about

577
00:27:12,509 --> 00:27:14,177
your feelings
and about the journey?

578
00:27:14,177 --> 00:27:16,013
Not right before
we go on.

579
00:27:16,013 --> 00:27:17,347
Why? It's journey time.

580
00:27:22,552 --> 00:27:24,554
- Wait, wait, wait.
- I think
it's the other way.

581
00:27:24,554 --> 00:27:26,189
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's definitely
the other way.

582
00:27:27,524 --> 00:27:30,027
All I'm saying
is an experience,

583
00:27:30,027 --> 00:27:32,895
an experience is something
that you have.

584
00:27:32,895 --> 00:27:36,799
And so when you're having
an experience, you should talk
about it.

585
00:27:36,799 --> 00:27:38,135
- Hi, hi, hi.
- Hi.

586
00:27:38,135 --> 00:27:39,336
We should share.

587
00:27:39,336 --> 00:27:41,304
- Well, the experience
we're doing right now,
- Share.

588
00:27:41,304 --> 00:27:45,175
is we're walking underneath
the stage to get up
to the stage.

589
00:27:45,175 --> 00:27:47,710
Yeah, so we were just underneath
where we're gonna be.

590
00:27:47,710 --> 00:27:49,712
I mean, that is a great

591
00:27:49,712 --> 00:27:52,415
- metaphor for life.
- This is such a boring conversation.

592
00:27:52,415 --> 00:27:58,921
It's, like, Sean, is life not
to you just like a...
It's, like, life.

593
00:27:58,921 --> 00:28:01,924
Try to have better material
when we're onstage.

594
00:28:04,794 --> 00:28:06,829
Nobody wants to talk
about life anymore.

595
00:28:06,829 --> 00:28:08,498
One, two testing.

596
00:28:08,498 --> 00:28:11,634
Testing, testing one,
two testing.

597
00:28:12,302 --> 00:28:13,470
Is this mike hot?

598
00:28:13,470 --> 00:28:14,437
Is it hot?

599
00:28:14,437 --> 00:28:16,073
Are we hot?

600
00:28:16,073 --> 00:28:18,408
- Testing one, two, testing, testing.
- Testing, testing one, two.

601
00:28:18,408 --> 00:28:19,409
Testing one, two.

602
00:28:19,409 --> 00:28:20,510
They can hear us.

603
00:28:20,510 --> 00:28:23,280
Oh, okay wait, so wait,
I got a really quick game.

604
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,082
It's called Quick Quick Quick.

605
00:28:25,082 --> 00:28:27,784
I'm gonna say Quick Quick
Quick, name three something, right?

606
00:28:27,784 --> 00:28:29,086
- Okay, okay.
- So, for you, so,

607
00:28:29,086 --> 00:28:31,921
Quick Quick Quick
name three brands of soap.

608
00:28:31,921 --> 00:28:34,957
Um, Dove, Ivory and, um,

609
00:28:34,957 --> 00:28:36,359
Quick, okay.

610
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,429
So, Quick Quick Quick
name three problems
with dental problems,

611
00:28:39,429 --> 00:28:40,830
go, name three dental problems.

612
00:28:40,830 --> 00:28:42,465
- You've got an abscess,
you've got a cavity.
- Quick Quick Quick.

613
00:28:42,465 --> 00:28:44,601
And you've got a punch
in the mouth.

614
00:28:47,337 --> 00:28:49,306
- Okay, what about you?
Quick Quick Quick
- Quick Quick Quick...

615
00:28:49,306 --> 00:28:52,175
Three great sports teams.

616
00:28:53,910 --> 00:28:55,945
- Quick!
- Uh, the birds...

617
00:28:55,945 --> 00:28:57,114
- The dinosaurs, okay.
- No.

618
00:28:57,114 --> 00:28:58,581
- Okay.
- Oh, God.

619
00:28:58,581 --> 00:29:00,450
The dinosaurs!

620
00:29:00,450 --> 00:29:01,684
Listen, let's just forget this.

621
00:29:01,684 --> 00:29:03,886
Let's just get down
to what we came here to do.

622
00:29:03,886 --> 00:29:05,255
The last show of...

623
00:29:05,755 --> 00:29:07,224
<i>SmartLess!</i>

624
00:29:15,965 --> 00:29:18,801
Hello, Los Angeles!

625
00:29:20,337 --> 00:29:22,705
It's our last show of...

626
00:29:22,705 --> 00:29:26,409
We're so excited that you guys
wasted your money to
come here tonight.

627
00:29:26,409 --> 00:29:28,044
- A lot of money.
- Yeah.

628
00:29:28,145 --> 00:29:29,912
We've been on the road
for the last couple of weeks.

629
00:29:29,912 --> 00:29:31,414
And we went all over
the country.

630
00:29:31,414 --> 00:29:33,150
We started in DC.

631
00:29:33,150 --> 00:29:35,252
And then we went to Boston,
and then we went to New York

632
00:29:35,252 --> 00:29:37,387
and Chicago and Madison, Wisconsin.

633
00:29:37,387 --> 00:29:38,821
- Huh!
- Yeah, great place.

634
00:29:38,821 --> 00:29:42,159
We had an incredible special appearance

635
00:29:42,159 --> 00:29:44,527
- by, Tracey.
- By my sister Tracey.

636
00:29:47,630 --> 00:29:51,468
And, uh, I think that Tracey
got a warmer reception
than we did.

637
00:29:51,468 --> 00:29:52,802
- Yeah for sure, for sure.
- Definitely.

638
00:29:52,802 --> 00:29:54,070
People were freaked out.

639
00:29:54,171 --> 00:29:55,172
Anyway thank you
for coming here.
Yeah, yeah.

640
00:29:55,172 --> 00:29:56,839
We're gonna sit down
and start the show.

641
00:29:56,839 --> 00:29:58,608
Oh, boy. Ugh.

642
00:29:58,608 --> 00:30:01,178
Are you happy to be done
with the tour, both of you?

643
00:30:01,178 --> 00:30:03,012
- Yeah.
- Well I'm happy and sad.

644
00:30:03,012 --> 00:30:04,581
What's the happy part?

645
00:30:04,581 --> 00:30:08,518
The happy part is that...
Uh, the happy part is the--

646
00:30:08,518 --> 00:30:10,653
- We're really searching
for the happy part.
- No, no, no.

647
00:30:10,653 --> 00:30:13,823
I'm happy because I feel like
it was a success,

648
00:30:13,823 --> 00:30:15,425
I had a great time
with you guys.

649
00:30:15,425 --> 00:30:17,527
I feel very happy
that we did it.

650
00:30:17,527 --> 00:30:19,996
- But sad
because it'll be gone.
- Yeah.

651
00:30:19,996 --> 00:30:22,165
It could've really been
a shit show. Right?

652
00:30:22,165 --> 00:30:23,533
Yeah.

653
00:30:23,533 --> 00:30:25,802
We didn't know...
We still don't know
what the hell we're doing.

654
00:30:25,802 --> 00:30:30,540
And to think that people
would be engaged and
entertained with us talking,

655
00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:32,041
uh, is stunning.

656
00:30:32,041 --> 00:30:33,543
People are so nice.

657
00:30:33,543 --> 00:30:37,013
They come backstage and they
say nice things all through
this whole tour.

658
00:30:37,013 --> 00:30:41,351
Sometimes I do think
I have a little bit
of face blindness.

659
00:30:41,351 --> 00:30:43,653
Because sometimes
I really truly don't recognize people

660
00:30:43,653 --> 00:30:45,021
and I make an ass
out of myself.

661
00:30:45,021 --> 00:30:46,689
Remember Traci Lords
the pornstar?

662
00:30:46,689 --> 00:30:47,557
- Sure.
- No.

663
00:30:53,196 --> 00:30:54,130
No, no.

664
00:30:54,130 --> 00:30:55,164
Did I say sure?

665
00:30:55,164 --> 00:30:56,299
You did, really quickly.

666
00:30:56,299 --> 00:30:58,100
I said it pretty fast.

667
00:30:58,100 --> 00:30:59,736
- Yeah.
- It was a little fast.

668
00:30:59,736 --> 00:31:01,471
Are we still rolling?
Can we go back?

669
00:31:02,805 --> 00:31:05,141
So, she came on as a guest
star in <i>Will and Grace.</i>

670
00:31:05,242 --> 00:31:06,309
And I'm such an idiot.

671
00:31:06,309 --> 00:31:08,245
She sat down and
I literally said,

672
00:31:08,245 --> 00:31:10,913
"Oh, my God, I loved you
in <i>The Hand that Rocks
the Cradle.</i>

673
00:31:10,913 --> 00:31:12,282
I thought she was Rebecca
De Mornay.

674
00:31:15,518 --> 00:31:17,487
It's not nearly as bad,
uh, uh...

675
00:31:17,487 --> 00:31:20,122
Some fancy folks have come out
and seen us.

676
00:31:20,122 --> 00:31:22,024
Peter Dinklage came
and said hi to us.

677
00:31:23,426 --> 00:31:24,827
In New York.

678
00:31:24,827 --> 00:31:26,329
And I was talking about
the kids.

679
00:31:26,329 --> 00:31:28,765
And I said, "And how old
are your little one?

680
00:31:33,002 --> 00:31:36,439
- Just about the dumbest thing
you could possibly say.
- No.

681
00:31:36,439 --> 00:31:37,440
- Yeah.
- No?

682
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,342
The dumbest thing
was repeating it right now.

683
00:31:39,342 --> 00:31:40,510
Yeah.

684
00:31:42,945 --> 00:31:43,813
That was...

685
00:31:45,147 --> 00:31:46,148
That was the dumbest.

686
00:31:46,148 --> 00:31:47,484
Yeah, good note.

687
00:31:47,484 --> 00:31:48,385
But you know what?

688
00:31:49,051 --> 00:31:50,753
- They got your back.
- Yeah.

689
00:31:50,753 --> 00:31:52,655
Because if there's one thing
I know about this day and age,

690
00:31:52,655 --> 00:31:54,624
is that people
on the internet...

691
00:31:54,624 --> 00:31:56,293
- They don't talk.
- ...they got your back.

692
00:31:56,293 --> 00:31:57,294
Yeah.

693
00:31:58,194 --> 00:31:59,028
So, thank you.

694
00:32:02,899 --> 00:32:05,101
We have a lot of fun,
we have a lot of fun together,

695
00:32:05,101 --> 00:32:07,069
we have a lot of fun
with you guys.

696
00:32:08,771 --> 00:32:10,206
And for the first time,

697
00:32:10,307 --> 00:32:11,774
we all know who the guest is.

698
00:32:11,774 --> 00:32:15,177
Because we're at the end
of the tour and we've invited
a really good friend,

699
00:32:15,177 --> 00:32:18,214
our pal, the hilarious,
the kind,

700
00:32:18,315 --> 00:32:20,182
the generous, the amazing,

701
00:32:20,182 --> 00:32:21,951
Mr. Jimmy Kimmel.

702
00:32:31,394 --> 00:32:32,762
Jimmy Kimmel!

703
00:32:32,762 --> 00:32:33,930
I appreciate it.

704
00:32:35,498 --> 00:32:37,434
I have to say,
this is very exciting for me

705
00:32:37,434 --> 00:32:40,169
because I've never seen Jason
up this late.

706
00:32:41,804 --> 00:32:45,775
And by the way can I tell you
one thing?
Not that this is a...

707
00:32:45,775 --> 00:32:51,113
If I had, like, if I had one
magic wish in my whole life...

708
00:32:51,113 --> 00:32:52,349
- Like one.
- You would be at home.

709
00:32:52,349 --> 00:32:53,350
...for my whole life,

710
00:32:53,350 --> 00:32:54,351
- It's right now, right?
- One.

711
00:32:54,951 --> 00:32:56,986
It would happen right now.

712
00:32:56,986 --> 00:33:01,824
And it would be... I'd say,
ladies and gentlemen welcome
Peter Dinklage.

713
00:33:04,894 --> 00:33:07,730
That would be my...
I would spend it...

714
00:33:09,366 --> 00:33:10,266
On...

715
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:12,034
On that.

716
00:33:14,437 --> 00:33:17,574
- Very special.
- Great merch by the way.
So great.

717
00:33:17,574 --> 00:33:19,909
Which mall kiosk did you
get this made in?

718
00:33:21,878 --> 00:33:26,015
And I didn't know Zazzle
was making motel keychains.

719
00:33:26,015 --> 00:33:27,917
Guess who's idea
the keychains were?

720
00:33:27,917 --> 00:33:28,985
Who use this?

721
00:33:28,985 --> 00:33:30,152
Hang on a second.

722
00:33:30,152 --> 00:33:32,422
I may have said "Key fob."

723
00:33:32,422 --> 00:33:37,394
- That's like a "motel,
destroy-my-marriage, and-cheat
- on-my wife, key fob."

724
00:33:37,394 --> 00:33:39,596
Wait, wait, what's happening?

725
00:33:39,596 --> 00:33:41,731
- No, but that's,
like, terrible.
- Oh, there we go.

726
00:33:43,032 --> 00:33:44,901
There's a "key fob"
for the audience.

727
00:33:45,735 --> 00:33:46,869
Um...

728
00:33:46,869 --> 00:33:49,071
- Jimmy, I got--
- Oh, you have mugs too.

729
00:33:49,071 --> 00:33:50,940
Yo, yo, yeah.

730
00:33:50,940 --> 00:33:54,411
My oldest, she...
So, Jimmy, you were one
of-- you were on our show

731
00:33:54,411 --> 00:33:56,946
quite early on.
Not as early as you should
have been.

732
00:33:58,615 --> 00:34:02,084
But you were an early listener
and you were somebody who
had a lot of notes.

733
00:34:02,084 --> 00:34:03,420
Yeah, I still do.

734
00:34:03,420 --> 00:34:06,122
First of all, I love
the podcast. Honestly,
no kidding around.

735
00:34:06,122 --> 00:34:07,323
I love listening to it.

736
00:34:07,424 --> 00:34:08,858
You're sweet.

737
00:34:08,858 --> 00:34:11,428
And doing it in person
with you guys, like, 'cause
when you're listening

738
00:34:11,428 --> 00:34:14,931
or doing it on Zoom
as we did it, you don't get
to smell the cigarette smoke

739
00:34:14,931 --> 00:34:16,533
coming off of Will.

740
00:34:16,533 --> 00:34:18,601
Or [scoffs] or the feet.

741
00:34:18,601 --> 00:34:20,102
Or get to see his feet.

742
00:34:20,102 --> 00:34:21,438
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

743
00:34:21,438 --> 00:34:25,007
You have no socks on
or do you have those weird
sort of hide--

744
00:34:25,007 --> 00:34:28,044
- That just hide in the bottom
of the shoe.
- Oh, no seams?

745
00:34:28,044 --> 00:34:29,646
Yeah.

746
00:34:29,646 --> 00:34:31,481
Right?

747
00:34:31,481 --> 00:34:33,983
No, prove it to me right now.

748
00:34:33,983 --> 00:34:35,117
Okay.

749
00:34:35,117 --> 00:34:36,986
Oh, oh-oh. Oh.

750
00:34:41,257 --> 00:34:42,625
You know what I feel like
right now?

751
00:34:42,625 --> 00:34:45,995
We're going to find some
weird sex thing about you
that you, like,

752
00:34:45,995 --> 00:34:48,230
you're really into, like,
showing women your feet
or something, like...

753
00:34:48,230 --> 00:34:49,298
No, I, uh,

754
00:34:50,467 --> 00:34:52,969
You show the feet because
people who get spray tanned,

755
00:34:52,969 --> 00:34:54,904
and I know some people
who've had it done,

756
00:34:54,904 --> 00:34:56,839
you can see streaks
on their feet.

757
00:34:56,839 --> 00:34:59,075
- Jimmy, I--
- You know what--
Sorry, go ahead...

758
00:34:59,075 --> 00:35:03,746
Oh, no no. I was gonna
ask a real question.

759
00:35:03,746 --> 00:35:05,648
Now, you've been doing
your show for so long,

760
00:35:05,648 --> 00:35:07,550
and I've heard rumors that
you're going to be done
in a year.

761
00:35:07,550 --> 00:35:10,086
I've heard other rumors that
you're going to do for seven
more years, like...

762
00:35:10,086 --> 00:35:11,253
What, how, what're
you feeling?

763
00:35:11,253 --> 00:35:12,489
Yeah, let's make
some news, Jimmy.

764
00:35:12,489 --> 00:35:14,991
- Right here.
- I want to...

765
00:35:14,991 --> 00:35:16,125
- Die.
- Talk very slowly.

766
00:35:16,125 --> 00:35:17,293
- I wanna die.
- Die on stage.

767
00:35:18,661 --> 00:35:19,596
On stage?

768
00:35:19,596 --> 00:35:21,230
You wanna die on live TV.

769
00:35:21,230 --> 00:35:22,264
Wouldn't that be the best?

770
00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:25,602
I mean, the show itself
is pre-taped, right?

771
00:35:25,602 --> 00:35:28,337
So what does ABC do if I die

772
00:35:28,337 --> 00:35:30,072
- during the show?
- Do they air it?

773
00:35:30,072 --> 00:35:30,973
Do they run that night's show?

774
00:35:30,973 --> 00:35:32,642
- Yes, of course.
- Sure.

775
00:35:32,642 --> 00:35:33,743
Yes.

776
00:35:33,743 --> 00:35:34,811
We wanna see that.

777
00:35:34,811 --> 00:35:36,412
- Of course.
- They tease the hell
out of it.

778
00:35:36,513 --> 00:35:38,948
- Yeah.
- I mean, the ratings would
be tremendous.

779
00:35:38,948 --> 00:35:42,585
I once had an overdose
of Advil on the show.

780
00:35:42,585 --> 00:35:44,253
Where my head,
I know it sounds ridiculous.

781
00:35:44,253 --> 00:35:45,154
What's that look like?

782
00:35:45,154 --> 00:35:47,156
My head started to swell up,

783
00:35:47,156 --> 00:35:49,659
and by the end of the show
my head was really big.

784
00:35:49,659 --> 00:35:52,962
- Come on.
- And then I went directly
to Cedars-Sinai.

785
00:35:52,962 --> 00:35:55,765
Sean there,
by the way, we did.

786
00:35:55,765 --> 00:35:58,400
- I have seen Sean at the...
- Have you really?

787
00:35:58,801 --> 00:35:59,902
Yeah!

788
00:36:01,003 --> 00:36:04,340
Sean, how well do you know
your way around Cedars?

789
00:36:04,340 --> 00:36:05,441
Oh, like the back
of my hand.

790
00:36:05,542 --> 00:36:06,743
- Absolutely.
- You do? For real?

791
00:36:06,743 --> 00:36:08,377
Yeah, because I get--
here we go.

792
00:36:08,377 --> 00:36:10,212
I get A-fib, right?

793
00:36:10,212 --> 00:36:12,048
You know what
atrial fibrillation is, right?

794
00:36:12,048 --> 00:36:13,382
Where your heart
goes like this...

795
00:36:14,951 --> 00:36:16,786
- Yeah. Exactly.
- I don't know
what we're talking.

796
00:36:16,786 --> 00:36:19,556
It goes like this and so
I'm like Norm from Cheers.

797
00:36:19,556 --> 00:36:20,890
I just go in there like,
"Hey, Sean."

798
00:36:20,890 --> 00:36:22,191
Come on right and..."

799
00:36:22,191 --> 00:36:25,895
Uh, and they put propofol in
which is fantastic.

800
00:36:25,895 --> 00:36:28,731
And then they
knock my heart back

801
00:36:28,731 --> 00:36:29,866
and I go home.

802
00:36:29,866 --> 00:36:31,133
And it happens all the time.

803
00:36:31,133 --> 00:36:32,869
- They do that--
really with the padels?
- Yeah. They do.

804
00:36:32,869 --> 00:36:35,304
Yeah, one time they put me out
and I don't think
they gave me enough.

805
00:36:35,304 --> 00:36:37,607
And I'm not kidding,
they went...

806
00:36:37,607 --> 00:36:39,241
and I woke up and I go,

807
00:36:39,241 --> 00:36:40,577
"This is amazing."

808
00:36:43,279 --> 00:36:44,714
Yeah, I thought it was--

809
00:36:44,714 --> 00:36:47,950
I thought it was
the most incredible feeling
in that moment.

810
00:36:47,950 --> 00:36:49,819
Wait, do they say clear,

811
00:36:49,819 --> 00:36:51,453
- like they do in the movies?
- I don't know. I'm out.

812
00:36:52,989 --> 00:36:55,625
Sean, do you have a nickname?

813
00:36:55,625 --> 00:36:57,794
- Sean, do you have a nickname?
- Do you have
a nickname?

814
00:36:57,794 --> 00:37:00,462
Well, cause I feel like
I just came up with
a great nickname for Sean.

815
00:37:00,462 --> 00:37:02,498
- Is it paddles?
- It's paddles.

816
00:37:05,702 --> 00:37:06,736
Paddles.

817
00:37:08,004 --> 00:37:10,306
- I mean, come on.
- That's so good.

818
00:37:10,306 --> 00:37:12,875
Oh, now, you're having us
over tomorrow

819
00:37:12,875 --> 00:37:14,476
for, uh, Superbowl.

820
00:37:14,476 --> 00:37:16,412
- Very nice of you. Thank you.
- Yeah.

821
00:37:16,412 --> 00:37:18,447
I'm making
smoked chicken wings,

822
00:37:18,948 --> 00:37:21,083
vegan chili, ribs,

823
00:37:21,083 --> 00:37:24,854
big sandwich that
has grilled zucchini
and melted cheese

824
00:37:24,854 --> 00:37:26,656
and arugula on it.

825
00:37:26,656 --> 00:37:28,057
Could we do part of that
with no zucchini?

826
00:37:28,057 --> 00:37:30,092
Yeah, can you take
the zucchini off?

827
00:37:30,092 --> 00:37:32,161
- Just if I can make a request.
- Yeah.

828
00:37:32,161 --> 00:37:33,162
First of all,

829
00:37:33,162 --> 00:37:34,330
I made it for you

830
00:37:34,330 --> 00:37:36,498
because you eat
like a princess.

831
00:37:36,498 --> 00:37:37,366
Yeah.

832
00:37:40,637 --> 00:37:42,772
Is half
of that marinating right now?

833
00:37:42,772 --> 00:37:44,106
Like, did you prep today?

834
00:37:44,106 --> 00:37:45,908
I grilled the zucchini today, yeah.

835
00:37:45,908 --> 00:37:48,177
- Okay. Toss it. Yeah.
- You can toss it out.

836
00:37:51,380 --> 00:37:53,249
Wait, but why--

837
00:37:53,249 --> 00:37:54,516
Who makes the--
what--

838
00:37:54,516 --> 00:37:56,385
- Look how mad you are.
- I've never even heard--

839
00:37:56,385 --> 00:37:57,887
Why you so mad?

840
00:37:57,887 --> 00:38:00,189
- Because who's heard
of a zucchini sandwich?
- I think he's hungry,

841
00:38:00,189 --> 00:38:01,758
he needs popcorn.

842
00:38:01,758 --> 00:38:04,426
He hasn't had anything to eat
like for 45 minutes.

843
00:38:05,662 --> 00:38:07,129
- My blood sugar's dropping.
- You know what I mean?

844
00:38:07,129 --> 00:38:09,131
Let's get some popcorn.
Can we get some popcorn?

845
00:38:09,131 --> 00:38:10,967
- I just wanna get some
popcorn for Jason.
- Can we get some popcorn?

846
00:38:10,967 --> 00:38:12,669
Let's get some popcorn.
Thanks, ma'am.

847
00:38:12,669 --> 00:38:14,370
Oh, this is great.
Thank you so much.

848
00:38:14,370 --> 00:38:15,371
Bring it right over here.

849
00:38:15,371 --> 00:38:16,706
Oh, thank you.

850
00:38:16,706 --> 00:38:18,007
Hold on! Who's that?

851
00:38:18,007 --> 00:38:19,676
- Wait, wait,
can we just--
- Jennifer Aniston?

852
00:38:19,676 --> 00:38:20,710
- What?
- What?

853
00:38:37,149 --> 00:38:38,350
Join the table.

854
00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:39,551
Which way do we go?

855
00:38:39,551 --> 00:38:40,752
- Go this way.
- No, no, no.

856
00:38:40,752 --> 00:38:42,020
I just wanna say--

857
00:38:42,121 --> 00:38:42,954
Are you not mic'd?

858
00:38:42,954 --> 00:38:44,389
So you're not gonna
sit down and talk?

859
00:38:44,389 --> 00:38:46,258
- Look, oh--
- Talk into this.

860
00:38:46,258 --> 00:38:48,127
Looking a little snacky, JB.

861
00:38:48,127 --> 00:38:49,561
Yeah. He's looking snacky.

862
00:38:49,561 --> 00:38:50,729
Give me your shoes
right now.

863
00:38:50,729 --> 00:38:52,764
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

864
00:38:52,764 --> 00:38:54,133
- You want my shoes?
- Give 'em.

865
00:38:54,133 --> 00:38:55,900
There he goes
with his feet again.

866
00:38:59,738 --> 00:39:01,806
- No streaks!
- No streaks.

867
00:39:01,806 --> 00:39:03,475
Zero tan on the feet.

868
00:39:03,475 --> 00:39:04,376
I'm gonna take these.

869
00:39:04,376 --> 00:39:05,344
Okay. Yeah.
I don't need 'em.

870
00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:07,011
- Jennifer Aniston!
- Jennifer Aniston!

871
00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:09,414
Oh, my God, Jenny!
Oh, my God!

872
00:39:13,185 --> 00:39:16,020
I thought I heard that laugh backstage.

873
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,890
- That's a good food delivery.
- Can we grab
his sparkling water, please?

874
00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:21,693
By the way,
it's so funny,

875
00:39:21,693 --> 00:39:24,629
because it was so nice
of you guys plotted

876
00:39:24,629 --> 00:39:27,199
when I came out
when these guys came out

877
00:39:27,199 --> 00:39:28,800
and it felt
like real enthusiasm

878
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:30,569
- and it definitely
made me feel good.
- I know.

879
00:39:30,569 --> 00:39:32,171
And then Jennifer Aniston
comes out

880
00:39:32,171 --> 00:39:33,705
and you're like...

881
00:39:34,206 --> 00:39:35,073
The best.

882
00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:37,008
Here you go, buddy.

883
00:39:37,909 --> 00:39:39,010
When we were on the road,

884
00:39:39,010 --> 00:39:41,313
the food chain
was off the charts.

885
00:39:41,313 --> 00:39:42,681
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

886
00:39:42,681 --> 00:39:45,350
Constantly engaging,
"What are you having?
What are you eating?

887
00:39:45,350 --> 00:39:47,686
"I'm not gonna have that now.
It's way too late."

888
00:39:47,686 --> 00:39:48,887
It was crazy.

889
00:39:48,887 --> 00:39:51,723
Well, I get nightmares
if I have it too late.

890
00:39:53,458 --> 00:39:54,426
Right?

891
00:39:54,426 --> 00:39:57,028
You eat too late
and the demons come.

892
00:39:59,331 --> 00:40:03,535
Jason Bateman might be
the most interesting person
I know.

893
00:40:03,535 --> 00:40:04,736
- And I'm not joking.
- Yeah.

894
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:08,006
You know,
it's like you did play
<i>Teen Wolf</i>

895
00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:10,742
and it's like in a way
you are a teen wolf.

896
00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:12,611
Because you appear
to be normal

897
00:40:12,611 --> 00:40:14,346
and then
there's this other guy

898
00:40:14,346 --> 00:40:16,881
who's this raging maniac, right?

899
00:40:17,782 --> 00:40:18,783
Right?

900
00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:19,884
Yes! Right!

901
00:40:19,884 --> 00:40:22,187
You never--
you never met the maniac.

902
00:40:22,187 --> 00:40:23,422
I didn't meet the maniac

903
00:40:23,422 --> 00:40:25,023
but I didn't know
the maniac,

904
00:40:25,023 --> 00:40:28,227
the maniac might have
been doing something
illegal backstage.

905
00:40:28,227 --> 00:40:29,894
I remember that.
I was there that night too.

906
00:40:29,894 --> 00:40:30,795
Andy Dick.

907
00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:32,063
- Were you there that night?
- Yeah.

908
00:40:32,997 --> 00:40:34,633
- Wait a second!
- Yeah.

909
00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:37,202
With you, dude.

910
00:40:37,202 --> 00:40:38,970
This reminds me
of the other time

911
00:40:38,970 --> 00:40:40,372
- I think we've already
told this on the podcast.
- Yeah.

912
00:40:40,372 --> 00:40:41,906
I think we were doing
<i>Arrested Development</i>
and he's like,

913
00:40:41,906 --> 00:40:43,442
"Man, I wish
we partied together."

914
00:40:43,442 --> 00:40:44,376
Because Will had shut it down

915
00:40:44,376 --> 00:40:45,677
and I was still
a year or two away.

916
00:40:45,677 --> 00:40:48,046
It would have been awesome,
if we put in and I go,
"We did."

917
00:40:49,781 --> 00:40:51,115
We went out
and we had a big night

918
00:40:51,115 --> 00:40:53,252
and we got all hammered
and then he like...

919
00:40:54,152 --> 00:40:56,655
Not cool.
But he got into his car

920
00:40:56,655 --> 00:40:58,323
and he sped away
and I was like,

921
00:40:58,323 --> 00:40:59,824
"This guy's a badass."

922
00:40:59,824 --> 00:41:01,260
You know?

923
00:41:01,260 --> 00:41:04,162
He doesn't give a shit.
He had a candle
on his dashboard.

924
00:41:04,263 --> 00:41:05,063
Oh!

925
00:41:06,631 --> 00:41:07,732
So bad!

926
00:41:07,732 --> 00:41:09,968
He had a lit candle
on his fucking dashboard.

927
00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:12,904
Yeah. Wait a minute.
Why did you light a candle
on your dashboard?

928
00:41:12,904 --> 00:41:13,872
Oh...

929
00:41:13,872 --> 00:41:14,939
Were your headlights out?

930
00:41:18,677 --> 00:41:19,544
I don't know.

931
00:41:19,544 --> 00:41:21,380
I was driving a vehicle

932
00:41:21,380 --> 00:41:23,315
that had a dashboard

933
00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:25,884
that had a little cut out
on top of it.

934
00:41:25,884 --> 00:41:28,887
That just screamed
for put a regal candle
on there.

935
00:41:30,389 --> 00:41:32,857
That was just
my roadie candle.

936
00:41:32,857 --> 00:41:34,759
What a fucking idiot.

937
00:41:34,759 --> 00:41:37,296
And I would light that thing

938
00:41:37,296 --> 00:41:40,732
and it would be blazing
on my dashboard

939
00:41:40,732 --> 00:41:42,901
while I'm driving
when I shouldn't,

940
00:41:42,901 --> 00:41:46,170
so that the cops can see,
"This dick's got a candle.

941
00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:47,071
I gotta pull--"

942
00:41:47,071 --> 00:41:49,040
It's so stupid.

943
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,176
By the way, instead of mugs,
instead of keychains,

944
00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:53,712
maybe dashboard candles,

945
00:41:53,712 --> 00:41:55,046
that's the <i>SmartLess.</i>

946
00:41:56,481 --> 00:41:58,317
- You're gonna sell
a lot of those.
- That's a great idea.

947
00:41:58,317 --> 00:41:59,684
Jimmy, it's been so fun
having you.

948
00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:01,786
- Thank you for--
- Jimmy!

949
00:42:03,154 --> 00:42:04,956
- We-- we love you.
- Jimmy Kimmel!

950
00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:06,791
We thank you.
You're the best.

951
00:42:06,791 --> 00:42:07,792
Wow. Thanks.

952
00:42:07,792 --> 00:42:09,594
I know, you know what?

953
00:42:10,595 --> 00:42:12,597
I appreciate it.

954
00:42:12,597 --> 00:42:16,801
I appreciate all of you
coming here tonight and...

955
00:42:18,337 --> 00:42:21,340
I also wanna make
one more comment

956
00:42:21,340 --> 00:42:22,974
- about the show if you will?
- Yeah. Go ahead.

957
00:42:23,642 --> 00:42:24,676
Thank you, Jen.

958
00:42:26,345 --> 00:42:29,080
- You can't do the rest
without shoes?
- You guys realize...

959
00:42:29,381 --> 00:42:30,549
No.

960
00:42:30,549 --> 00:42:33,017
I'll tell you what,
America's sweetheart
can't throw.

961
00:42:38,189 --> 00:42:40,459
She can do a lot
but she can't throw shoes.

962
00:42:40,459 --> 00:42:41,360
Go ahead, Jimmy. Yeah.

963
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:42,461
Now, I love this show,

964
00:42:42,461 --> 00:42:44,363
I'm glad that I feel like,

965
00:42:44,363 --> 00:42:46,898
it's so exciting
to see all these people

966
00:42:46,898 --> 00:42:48,667
come to see you guys do this

967
00:42:48,667 --> 00:42:52,371
and which really came out
of just a very
private conversation

968
00:42:52,371 --> 00:42:53,705
between the three of you

969
00:42:53,705 --> 00:42:55,407
and sometimes really good

970
00:42:55,407 --> 00:42:56,708
and sometimes
not so good guests.

971
00:42:56,708 --> 00:42:57,776
And--

972
00:42:58,377 --> 00:43:00,044
And I'm so happy for you

973
00:43:00,044 --> 00:43:03,281
and I hope you guys
are appreciative of this--

974
00:43:03,382 --> 00:43:05,083
- of the magic that this is.
- Beyond.

975
00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:06,551
- Because it is magical thing.
- Yeah.

976
00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:08,987
These people are here.

977
00:43:10,555 --> 00:43:13,224
And to hear the way,
the dismissive way

978
00:43:13,224 --> 00:43:15,660
you talk about them
off the air is just...

979
00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:19,063
- I just find it offensive.
- I know. Me too.

980
00:43:19,063 --> 00:43:19,964
And I tell them all the time.

981
00:43:19,964 --> 00:43:20,899
I find it very offensive.

982
00:43:20,899 --> 00:43:22,401
I'm with you.

983
00:43:22,401 --> 00:43:23,902
But these are the best.

984
00:43:23,902 --> 00:43:25,904
- Yeah. These are the best.
- These guys are best.

985
00:43:26,838 --> 00:43:28,407
- Uh, thank you, buddy.
- Thanks, guys.

986
00:43:28,407 --> 00:43:29,408
Thanks for having me.

987
00:43:29,408 --> 00:43:31,443
- Jimmy Kimmel!
- Jimmy Kimmel!

988
00:43:33,645 --> 00:43:34,813
Good times.

989
00:43:34,813 --> 00:43:35,814
That was fun.

990
00:43:36,681 --> 00:43:37,849
Thank you guys so much.

991
00:43:37,849 --> 00:43:39,618
I mean
it's just been incredible.

992
00:43:39,618 --> 00:43:40,752
I'm not-- No.

993
00:43:40,752 --> 00:43:42,487
I'm feeling
Sean thinking right now.

994
00:43:42,487 --> 00:43:44,423
There's a fucking smoke
coming out of his ears

995
00:43:44,423 --> 00:43:46,491
- trying to work a bye.
- You know
what he's trying to do.

996
00:43:46,491 --> 00:43:47,426
No.

997
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,696
You know, I just wish
we could have spent more time
with Jen.

998
00:43:51,696 --> 00:43:52,864
- You know...
- Yeah.

999
00:43:52,864 --> 00:43:54,165
But...

1000
00:43:55,434 --> 00:43:57,836
It feels so nice to...

1001
00:43:57,836 --> 00:43:59,604
...to be here.

1002
00:43:59,604 --> 00:44:00,839
Get on here!

1003
00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:03,041
Keep going. Keep going.
Keep going.

1004
00:44:06,911 --> 00:44:09,881
Come on! Come on! Yeah!

1005
00:44:14,085 --> 00:44:16,020
I don't wanna do this.

1006
00:44:16,020 --> 00:44:19,290
Just say,
"Hi, everybody.
Thank you for coming."

1007
00:44:19,290 --> 00:44:21,292
Hi, everybody.
Thank you for coming.

1008
00:44:21,292 --> 00:44:23,628
And if you were...

1009
00:44:24,729 --> 00:44:27,532
Okay. I think this has been
really a lovely,

1010
00:44:27,532 --> 00:44:28,567
lovely evening

1011
00:44:28,567 --> 00:44:31,135
and I wish I just could
come up with something--

1012
00:44:31,135 --> 00:44:32,537
something sort of--

1013
00:44:32,537 --> 00:44:34,539
- Something simple.
Something really simple.
- Something to say simple.

1014
00:44:34,539 --> 00:44:36,641
What's something you say
at the end of something?

1015
00:44:36,641 --> 00:44:38,042
Oh, like...

1016
00:44:38,042 --> 00:44:38,977
goodbye?

1017
00:44:38,977 --> 00:44:40,479
Bye!

1018
00:44:56,695 --> 00:44:57,829
Oh, my God, Jimmy.

1019
00:44:58,362 --> 00:44:59,564
Thank you, dude.

1020
00:44:59,564 --> 00:45:01,566
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much!

1021
00:45:01,566 --> 00:45:03,835
I'd been like nervous
about this actually.

1022
00:45:03,835 --> 00:45:05,203
- Were you really?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1023
00:45:05,203 --> 00:45:07,238
That was so good.

1024
00:45:07,238 --> 00:45:09,574
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah. That was fun.

1025
00:45:09,574 --> 00:45:13,044
The first night we were
just like, "What the fuck?"

1026
00:45:13,845 --> 00:45:14,846
Right?

1027
00:45:14,846 --> 00:45:16,515
That's it. That's a wrap.

1028
00:45:18,750 --> 00:45:20,885
Nice going. Great time.

1029
00:45:56,988 --> 00:45:59,123
Bye!

1030
00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:07,688
So what is sloppy joe?

1031
00:46:07,688 --> 00:46:09,890
Is it ground beef
and tomato sauce?

1032
00:46:09,991 --> 00:46:13,894
No. It's ground beef,
tomato paste, tomato soup,

1033
00:46:13,995 --> 00:46:17,698
chili sauce, white vinegar,
salt and pepper,

1034
00:46:17,698 --> 00:46:20,201
- brown sugar.
- Wow.

1035
00:46:20,201 --> 00:46:22,003
You can have
one bite. It's not that bad.

1036
00:46:22,003 --> 00:46:23,004
When do you put
the Alpo in it?

1037
00:46:23,004 --> 00:46:24,738
Is it before or is it...

1038
00:46:24,738 --> 00:46:25,839
...as a finisher.

1039
00:46:28,609 --> 00:46:31,545
I've ice cream after
if anybody wants some.

1040
00:46:31,545 --> 00:46:33,647
What are we? Is there
a four year old's birthday?

1041
00:46:33,647 --> 00:46:35,182
Yeah. Congratulations.

1042
00:46:36,183 --> 00:46:37,318
What kind? What brand?

1043
00:46:37,318 --> 00:46:38,752
Haagen-Dazs.

1044
00:46:38,752 --> 00:46:41,422
- Haagen-Dazs? The best.
- Mm.

1045
00:46:41,422 --> 00:46:43,190
This is why Haagen-Dazs
is better than any ice cream

1046
00:46:43,190 --> 00:46:45,192
because you look at the label
on the vanilla...

1047
00:46:45,192 --> 00:46:48,895
It's egg, yolk, sugar
and cream. That's it.

1048
00:46:48,895 --> 00:46:49,896
Egg and yolk?

1049
00:46:50,397 --> 00:46:51,398
I think so.

1050
00:46:51,932 --> 00:46:53,067
Or egg yolk?

1051
00:46:53,534 --> 00:46:54,768
Is it egg yolk?

1052
00:46:54,768 --> 00:46:57,304
- Probably no comma in there.
- Oh, yeah.

1053
00:46:59,473 --> 00:47:01,708
Egg, yolk, uh...

1054
00:47:04,111 --> 00:47:04,945
Dumb.

1055
00:47:05,612 --> 00:47:07,614
Crea...m.

1056
00:47:08,915 --> 00:47:10,451
Crea...m.

1057
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:15,289
Oh!
Played golf yesterday.

1058
00:47:15,289 --> 00:47:16,190
With Giles?

1059
00:47:16,190 --> 00:47:17,758
With Giles and Josh
and Harry Chung.

1060
00:47:17,758 --> 00:47:19,660
I dated a a guy
with a harry chung.

1061
00:47:24,531 --> 00:47:25,799
You don't need to tee it up
high for him.

1062
00:47:25,799 --> 00:47:28,169
No! No, no.

1063
00:47:28,169 --> 00:47:29,336
Do you have any tattoos?

1064
00:47:29,336 --> 00:47:30,637
No.
I've always wanted one.

1065
00:47:30,637 --> 00:47:31,905
- Have you really?
- Should we get one?

1066
00:47:32,473 --> 00:47:33,474
Hmm.

1067
00:47:33,474 --> 00:47:34,608
He's got a couple.

1068
00:47:34,608 --> 00:47:36,610
Wouldn't it be kind of fun
to get a <i>SmartLess</i> one?

1069
00:47:36,610 --> 00:47:38,945
- Not really.
- All right. Do you wanna
think about it?

1070
00:47:38,945 --> 00:47:40,347
- Nope. Just did.
- Okay.

1071
00:47:40,347 --> 00:47:43,084
You should get the recipe
to sloppy joe.

1072
00:47:44,351 --> 00:47:45,519
Too long.

1073
00:47:45,519 --> 00:47:47,621
- Hey, you don't have
any tattoos, do you?
- I do not.

1074
00:47:47,621 --> 00:47:49,456
You took the one
off your toe?

1075
00:47:49,456 --> 00:47:52,093
Not--
Not this guy.

1076
00:47:52,093 --> 00:47:53,894
Oh, really? Cause you wanna
get another kingdom.

1077
00:47:55,529 --> 00:47:57,098
Isn't that a thing?

1078
00:47:57,098 --> 00:47:58,199
Wait.
Do you have a tattoo?

1079
00:47:58,199 --> 00:48:00,201
I just got Maple
and Francesca.

1080
00:48:00,201 --> 00:48:01,635
Oh, that's right.
Isn't that nice?

1081
00:48:01,635 --> 00:48:03,570
But you got it on the most
sensitive part of your arm.

1082
00:48:03,570 --> 00:48:05,439
- That's just pure bone
here, right?
- Yeah.

1083
00:48:05,939 --> 00:48:07,408
It's well-done flab.

1084
00:48:07,408 --> 00:48:10,377
They were like,
"We've never tattooed
into bone.

1085
00:48:10,377 --> 00:48:11,278
But I guess."

1086
00:48:11,278 --> 00:48:13,114
Dust came up
as they were doing it.

1087
00:48:13,114 --> 00:48:16,117
The only reason I have
this here and this here

1088
00:48:16,117 --> 00:48:18,652
is that they're never
going away.

1089
00:48:18,652 --> 00:48:19,653
- You're right.
- You know?

1090
00:48:19,653 --> 00:48:22,289
Now I hope
this goes on forever.

1091
00:48:22,289 --> 00:48:24,491
- But what job does?
- Right.

1092
00:48:24,491 --> 00:48:26,227
We're not talking about job.
We're talking
about friendship.

1093
00:48:26,227 --> 00:48:27,194
Yeah.

1094
00:48:27,194 --> 00:48:28,962
Well, I'd rather get
Will and Sean tattooed

1095
00:48:28,962 --> 00:48:29,863
than <i>SmartLess.</i>

1096
00:48:30,531 --> 00:48:31,932
With our faces.

1097
00:48:31,932 --> 00:48:33,267
- Like the logo.
- We'll just see our faces.

1098
00:48:33,700 --> 00:48:35,636
Oh, that! Yes.

1099
00:48:35,636 --> 00:48:37,138
See this is a great example

1100
00:48:37,138 --> 00:48:38,639
of you being hard headed
about something,

1101
00:48:38,639 --> 00:48:41,142
because you're like,
"What if this job goes away?"

1102
00:48:41,142 --> 00:48:42,176
You can't think
of it like that.

1103
00:48:42,176 --> 00:48:43,544
Well, my friendship
with you is not gonna go.

1104
00:48:43,544 --> 00:48:45,446
I mean I'll put fucking
Will and Sean
on my goddamn forehead.

1105
00:48:45,446 --> 00:48:46,780
- Let's do it.
- Let's get the guy in here.

1106
00:48:46,780 --> 00:48:48,315
Yeah. Don't threaten me.

1107
00:48:48,315 --> 00:48:52,253
And would you want lower left
or upper right
in that scenario?

1108
00:48:52,253 --> 00:48:54,155
- Lower left. Upper right.
- Lower left.

1109
00:48:54,155 --> 00:48:55,222
You want lower left?

1110
00:48:55,222 --> 00:48:56,390
Yeah, cause it's gonna be
more in your eye line.

1111
00:48:56,390 --> 00:48:57,724
Cause you usually look
people in the eye.

1112
00:48:57,724 --> 00:49:00,060
I think upper right usually
ends up being

1113
00:49:00,161 --> 00:49:02,529
- the one that is
perceived as...
- In Billing--

1114
00:49:02,529 --> 00:49:03,564
...that is top billing.

1115
00:49:03,564 --> 00:49:05,366
In the movie poster
one sheet for sure.

1116
00:49:05,366 --> 00:49:06,700
But in this case,

1117
00:49:06,700 --> 00:49:08,769
it's the first one you see
is the closest
to the person's eye.

1118
00:49:10,237 --> 00:49:12,206
- Huh.
- You probably
didn't catch that wink.

1119
00:49:12,206 --> 00:49:14,074
Nope.

1120
00:49:15,576 --> 00:49:18,579
- So how do you feel
about the experience--
- Of being an actor?

1121
00:49:18,579 --> 00:49:19,780
I--

1122
00:49:19,780 --> 00:49:22,616
No. Of going on tour
now that we've had
distance time.

1123
00:49:22,616 --> 00:49:25,186
I've been thinking actually
a lot about doing it again.

1124
00:49:25,186 --> 00:49:26,687
- Really?
- Like, I can't wait
to do it again.

1125
00:49:26,687 --> 00:49:28,522
Oh, that's cool.
Well, what about it?

1126
00:49:28,522 --> 00:49:32,025
I haven't been on a boys trip
since I was in my early 20s.

1127
00:49:32,025 --> 00:49:33,894
We could go to England

1128
00:49:33,894 --> 00:49:35,429
and we could go to Australia.

1129
00:49:35,429 --> 00:49:36,363
- Whatever you like.
- Ireland.

1130
00:49:36,363 --> 00:49:37,264
That be really fun.

1131
00:49:37,264 --> 00:49:38,699
How stupid is it though

1132
00:49:38,699 --> 00:49:41,935
that this goes all the way
across the Atlantic.

1133
00:49:41,935 --> 00:49:43,036
I know.

1134
00:49:43,036 --> 00:49:44,438
I mean, I can't believe--

1135
00:49:44,438 --> 00:49:46,407
Do they have to translate
in other--

1136
00:49:46,407 --> 00:49:48,074
Do other people do our voices?

1137
00:49:48,074 --> 00:49:50,711
- Like in other languages.
- Yeah.

1138
00:49:50,711 --> 00:49:52,879
But do you honestly think
that they'd dub our voices

1139
00:49:52,879 --> 00:49:54,415
for the podcast
in other countries?

1140
00:49:54,415 --> 00:49:56,583
Well, not English speaking.

1141
00:49:56,583 --> 00:49:57,751
No, I know.

1142
00:49:57,751 --> 00:49:59,152
I'm talking about
the ones that
don't speak English.

1143
00:49:59,152 --> 00:50:00,987
Yes, well how would they
understand it?

1144
00:50:02,022 --> 00:50:04,124
Well, only the people
that understand English

1145
00:50:04,124 --> 00:50:05,459
- are turning it on.
- All right.

1146
00:50:05,792 --> 00:50:06,993
Right?

1147
00:50:06,993 --> 00:50:08,295
I don't know.

1148
00:50:08,295 --> 00:50:12,132
You know what the number one
speaking language
in the world is?

1149
00:50:12,132 --> 00:50:13,800
Well for you,
it's not English.

1150
00:50:18,104 --> 00:50:20,341
SmartLess.

1151
00:50:24,177 --> 00:50:26,513
SmartLess.