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♪♪
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Hefner: Any woman who appears
in the centerfold of "playboy"
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Will receive
major media attention.
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It changes lives.
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It becomes one
of the most important decisions
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In a woman's life.
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Victoria: They took young women.
They were nameless.
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They were maybe average,
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And they created goddesses
out of us.
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You went from an ordinary woman
into an icon.
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Kari ann: After seeing, like,
the carmen electras
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And the pamela anderson,
anna nicole smith,
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I decided to pose
for the magazine.
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She said, "hef loves you."
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It was crazy.
It happened so fast.
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When I made
the choice to do "playboy,"
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I didn't realize all the choices
that I was making
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That came with that.
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When it came to playmates,
they were extremely controlling,
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And the way "playboy"
controlled playmates
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Is through shame and guilt.
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They figured, "we made you
this playmate, and we own it."
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Hef invited me up
to his bedroom,
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And there are seven girlfriends
and vibrators everywhere.
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Announcer: Kari peniche,
miss united states teen.
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I didn't realize at the time
that a big part of my innocence
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Was actually taken at that time,
too.
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Playboy would introduce models
to men in power
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And hope that models would just
succumb to their advances.
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And I didn't know that
I had no room for error.
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Come on.
I'm, like, 100% perfect.
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Don't I get 1%
of a little error?
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With playboy, our bodies
did not belong to us.
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[motor revving]
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My name is hugh hefner.
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I'm editor-publisher
of "playboy" magazine.
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Reporter: Playboy is one
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Of the most famous brand names
in the world.
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It was simply to include sex as
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One natural part of a package
for a male audience.
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Kari ann: When I made the choice
to do "playboy,"
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I didn't realize all
the choices that I was making
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That came with that choice.
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Pitzulo: We don't judge the men
for buying the "playboy"s,
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But we judge the women
for posing for "playboy."
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Jill:
I was never jill anymore.
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I was jill
that posed for "playboy."
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Ashley: I just gave in
and knew that I was
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Probably gonna go to hell.
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Zoe:
It got to a certain point
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Where it wasn't fun anymore.
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Sondra:
This process was very painful,
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But I should be able to tell
my story as I lived it.
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Playboy is iconic.
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When you think of americana,
you think of playboy.
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And more than anything, I wanted
to be an all-american girl.
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I always wanted to go to l.A.
And become an actress,
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And some of the most famous,
beautiful women
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Have been in the magazine--
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Pamela anderson,
madonna, sharon stone.
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So, I decided
to pose for the magazine.
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Playboy was a very recognizable
brand in the united states.
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Hugh hefner
kept a very tight rein
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On what he wanted
the playboy image to be.
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There was something
about playboy
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Where they wanted
to keep the good girl image.
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She's a good girl.
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She just happens to lose
her clothes for that moment.
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Kari ann: When I made
the choice to do "playboy,"
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I didn't realize all the choices
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That I was making that came
with that choice.
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I didn't realize at the time
that a big part of my innocence
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Was actually being given away
and taken at that time, too.
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Hugh hefner felt that,
"I plucked you out of obscurity.
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We put you in the magazine."
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You were
the playmate of the month.
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You were maybe
the playmate of the year.
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You got this notoriety.
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I think
from his standpoint,
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He felt he was responsible
for making these girls,
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And I think he felt very much,
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Under those circumstances, they
should kind of do what he says.
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I don't like rules.
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♪♪
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This is my body.
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I'm proud of my body,
and I'm gonna do what I want.
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♪♪
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I think ultimately,
this story is about rebellion.
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My story of my entire life
is about rebellion.
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I think, as a woman,
you don't have to fit
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Within the dichotomy or category
that the society imposes on you.
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You could be
whatever you want to be.
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♪♪
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I grew up in the former ussr,
which is, of course,
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Now ukraine and russia,
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And I grew up in a family
of anti-communists.
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So, I've always dreamt
of coming to united states.
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I was a real bookworm.
I never fit in.
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I wasn't popular.
I read all the time.
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Languages was my passion.
I spoke english, french, german,
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But english was my favorite
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Because I've always dreamt
of coming to the u.S.
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So, when I was 15 years old,
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I met a group
of american professors.
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They invited me to come
to united states to study.
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And so, at 16, I became
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The first
ukrainian exchange student
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As part of this program
of perestroika, glasnost,
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When gorbachev came to power.
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I only had
a one-year student visa.
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I was supposed to go back,
and I didn't want to go back.
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I loved it here. I loved
everything from grocery stores--
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I've never seen grocery stores
in my life--
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To popcorn, to waterbeds.
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Like, it was--everything was
amazing about the u.S.
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And so I knew my visa was
non-extendable at that time,
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And they put me in touch with
this lawyer in philadelphia,
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Who was of ukrainian descent,
to try to extend my visa.
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And he had called me,
and he said,
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"look, I can't extend
your student visa,
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But I can marry you."
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I said,
"great. Let's get married."
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♪♪
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So I'm 18 years old,
and I'm moving to philadelphia.
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I'm married to a lawyer,
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And he convinces me
I should go to law school.
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So, at 18 years old,
I am at villanova law school.
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I'm a first-year law student.
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Around the same time,
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What I found is that my husband
was obsessed with "playboy."
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He had the biggest collection.
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I remember opening the pages,
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And I just remember thinking
that women--they're not real.
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They're just so perfect
in every way.
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I'm not good enough.
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How could he love me when he's
looking at these perfect women?
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And my husband--he said,
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"well, you know, you're just
as beautiful as these women.
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I don't know
what your problem is."
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I said, "no, I'm not."
he said, "you are."
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And so my first husband
took some photos of me,
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And they were lingerie,
some nudes.
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And I was like,
whoa, I do look kind of good.
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So, that was, like, the first
time when I realized that,
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And he sent them into "playboy."
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So, with me, I think,
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Because I had
such an unusual story,
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Playboy was very excited.
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♪♪
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And they said, "you're the first
russian soviet.
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We love the package.
We love the story.
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We'd love to--for you
to sign the contract today."
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And I remember
I signed the contract,
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And I called my husband,
and he was so mad.
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He said, "well, I am the lawyer,
and you--
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You didn't consult with me?
You just went ahead
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And signed this contract
to become a centerfold?"
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I said, "well,
you know, I just did.
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Yeah. I mean,
why do I have to ask you?
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Remember,
I'm in law school now."
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♪♪
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So, if you look at my entire
layout, it is an archetype.
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It's a sort of a prototype
of what americans think
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A russian girl next door
would be--
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The kind of jacket
she would wear,
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The kind of hair she would have.
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And then at that time,
donald trump,
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Ivana trump
were very much in the news.
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So they said, "oh,
she has kind of the same look.
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She has that eastern european
look as ivana trump."
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And ivana's trump's
big hair was very popular.
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Everything about that layout
is very prototypical.
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It's sort of like,
"look, we finally found
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The soviet russian
girl next door."
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♪♪
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So, I ended up being
miss October 1994.
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♪♪
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And I became a citizen
the same year
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That I became
a "playboy" playmate.
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So, it was a great year for me.
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I finally was
an all-american girl.
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I was a u.S. Citizen.
I was in "playboy."
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All my dreams were coming true.
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So, once you become
a centerfold,
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You start working
for playboy promotions.
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Playboy was wonderful.
It was a catalyst for my career,
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And the jobs were wonderful.
You get paid, like, $1,000
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Just to show up
and sign your autograph.
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Even though all the jobs we got
booked for were legitimate jobs,
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A lot of them bordered on,
I would say, pimping.
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And I know it's
a terrible way to put it,
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But playboy
would serve as intermediaries.
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They were facilitators.
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They would introduce models
to men in power
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In hope that the models would
just succumb to their advances.
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♪♪
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We weren't directly forced
to sleep with these guys,
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But there was always
a suggestion,
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And it wouldn't hurt,
you know, your career.
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It would be nice
if you went out to dinner
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00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:06,619
Or were extra nice
to these specific individuals.
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00:09:06,621 --> 00:09:09,756
And it's interesting because
that's how I met donald trump.
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00:09:09,791 --> 00:09:11,299
♪♪
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So, this is
my playmate lingerie calendar,
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00:09:20,402 --> 00:09:24,396
And basically the non-nude
version of my centerfold.
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00:09:24,472 --> 00:09:27,898
Here, I'm sporting
the ivana trump updo.
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00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,051
It was very popular
at that time.
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00:09:30,128 --> 00:09:34,497
It was the playboy promotions
that called me and said,
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00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,574
Donald trump thinks
he can use you
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00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,918
For his tropicana casino
campaign.
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00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,895
Would you be interested
in meeting him?
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00:09:40,972 --> 00:09:41,988
And I said, "of course."
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00:09:42,065 --> 00:09:44,766
And we ended up meeting.
It was three meetings,
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00:09:44,843 --> 00:09:48,594
And, um, I was getting
a little impatient.
215
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,763
So, I said,
what about the campaign?
216
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,765
That was, like,
$150,000 campaign.
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00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:56,044
And he looks at me in the eyes,
and he goes, "you know what?
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00:09:56,046 --> 00:09:58,671
Even if there was a campaign,
we wouldn't use you.
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00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:02,358
We use
real runway models for that.
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00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,768
♪♪
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00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,086
And I'm going,
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00:10:05,163 --> 00:10:06,771
"well, then why are we going
out to these dinners?
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00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,923
Why are we here today?"
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00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,334
There was never
any tropicana casino campaign.
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00:10:11,369 --> 00:10:12,535
There was never campaign at all.
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00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,004
♪♪
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Playboy played
into these celebrities,
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00:10:17,175 --> 00:10:18,599
And I think they figured,
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00:10:18,677 --> 00:10:22,037
Well, it's a good idea to get
these girls interacting,
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00:10:22,113 --> 00:10:24,313
Maybe sleeping
with these celebrities.
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00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,499
It's just good for the brand.
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♪♪
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Yes, of course.
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00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,941
During these meetings
with donald trump,
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00:10:34,976 --> 00:10:36,701
Of course,
he tried to seduce me.
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It's never, like,
direct pressure.
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00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,704
He's never directly said,
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00:10:39,781 --> 00:10:41,806
"look, I think you should
[bleep] me," you know?
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00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:46,202
He's waiting for you to sort of
succumb to his charm.
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00:10:46,237 --> 00:10:47,937
Like, the entire time,
he's telling me,
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00:10:47,972 --> 00:10:49,647
"you know, women just adore me.
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00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,132
I have madonna calling me.
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00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:52,692
I have models chasing me."
244
00:10:52,727 --> 00:10:54,811
And so his idea of seduction
245
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:58,239
Is just for you to be
so impressed with this man
246
00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:00,817
That you just throw yourself
at him.
247
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:03,453
I didn't sleep with him
just for...
248
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,254
You know, to--to make clear.
249
00:11:05,256 --> 00:11:06,814
♪♪
250
00:11:06,892 --> 00:11:09,209
We had
a certain utilitarian purpose
251
00:11:09,244 --> 00:11:12,687
To look good
and to please the men
252
00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:14,756
That were important
for playboy organization.
253
00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:18,418
So, our bodies
did not belong to us.
254
00:11:18,494 --> 00:11:23,323
♪♪
255
00:11:23,358 --> 00:11:27,351
Around 1996, I was still working
for playboy promotions,
256
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,230
And I was in graduate school,
finishing my doctorate,
257
00:11:30,265 --> 00:11:32,173
And I figured I needed
to make some more money.
258
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:35,268
I was bringing my whole family
from ukraine over here,
259
00:11:35,344 --> 00:11:36,586
And I was supporting them.
260
00:11:36,621 --> 00:11:39,805
So, this was the wild west
of the internet,
261
00:11:39,882 --> 00:11:42,600
And I decided I'm gonna create
my own website.
262
00:11:42,710 --> 00:11:44,944
Wow. This is my old website.
263
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:48,881
I thought
planet victoria was cute.
264
00:11:48,883 --> 00:11:51,692
There was this whole concept
all of a sudden
265
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,269
That some playmates could
266
00:11:53,304 --> 00:11:56,005
Post our own pictures
on the internet,
267
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,259
And we could charge our fans
to view them.
268
00:11:59,294 --> 00:12:01,535
And that was,
of course, a novel concept.
269
00:12:01,613 --> 00:12:04,497
The only way our fans
could locate us is by meta tags.
270
00:12:04,574 --> 00:12:07,467
"playboy playmate"
was one of those meta tags,
271
00:12:07,502 --> 00:12:09,302
And that's what I had
right on the front page.
272
00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:10,620
It said, you know,
273
00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:11,896
"victoria zdrock,
playboy playmate.
274
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,140
Welcome to planet victoria."
275
00:12:14,175 --> 00:12:15,400
♪♪
276
00:12:15,477 --> 00:12:17,544
So, I started posting
more risqué images,
277
00:12:17,579 --> 00:12:19,312
Maybe a little more
open leg stuff.
278
00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:23,182
They were openly sexual,
and I liked it. It felt good,
279
00:12:23,217 --> 00:12:25,969
And it wasn't so much
about what the image
280
00:12:25,971 --> 00:12:29,622
Was supposed to be projected,
but what we wanted.
281
00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:32,091
I felt I could be myself more,
282
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,260
Something that playboy
did not like
283
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,846
Because they wanted
the good girl image.
284
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,340
I was charging $25 a month,
and I could not believe
285
00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,851
How many people
were signing up for this.
286
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,444
♪♪
287
00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:46,914
So at some point, the playmates
who had successful websites,
288
00:12:46,992 --> 00:12:49,993
We started receiving messages,
phone calls,
289
00:12:50,028 --> 00:12:53,362
And eventually letters
from the playboy enterprises
290
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:57,033
Asking us to cease and desist
using "playboy" meta tags,
291
00:12:57,109 --> 00:13:00,520
Metadata in our websites.
292
00:13:00,596 --> 00:13:02,046
♪♪
293
00:13:02,123 --> 00:13:06,092
And that's how the terri welles
lawsuit eventually started.
294
00:13:06,127 --> 00:13:09,812
♪♪
295
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:14,875
I had the pleasure
of representing terri welles
296
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:21,699
When she was sued
by playboy enterprises in 1998.
297
00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:23,510
Terri was
the playmate of the month,
298
00:13:23,545 --> 00:13:27,396
I believe, in December of 1980.
299
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,291
And then in June of 1981,
300
00:13:30,368 --> 00:13:32,035
She was named by hugh hefner
301
00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:36,238
And "playboy"
as the playmate of the year.
302
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:39,825
1997, she launches her website.
303
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,028
She's not aware
of any objection to it.
304
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:48,993
She drew the ire of this
huge corporation at the time.
305
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,854
They came down on her hard.
306
00:13:51,889 --> 00:13:55,908
The case was about whether
it was permissible
307
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:59,437
For terri welles
on her website
308
00:13:59,514 --> 00:14:03,424
To refer to herself
as a playboy playmate
309
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:08,279
Or a playmate of the year
in the text of her website.
310
00:14:08,356 --> 00:14:10,497
And playboy was simply
taking the position
311
00:14:10,575 --> 00:14:14,510
That terri's website was
not "girl next door" playboy.
312
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:19,532
Therefore, she was
damaging the playboy name.
313
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,852
The trial judge
and the trial court
314
00:14:22,887 --> 00:14:25,238
Granted terri welles' motion,
315
00:14:25,273 --> 00:14:29,792
Dismissing playboy's trademark
infringement claims against her.
316
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,913
The outcome of this case is
very significant to many people,
317
00:14:33,948 --> 00:14:35,715
But in particular
those playmates
318
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:39,318
Who also wanted to
further their careers,
319
00:14:39,396 --> 00:14:41,421
Express themselves online,
320
00:14:41,456 --> 00:14:44,816
Rather than having playboy
make those decisions for them.
321
00:14:44,892 --> 00:14:47,860
So, I was continuing
to use the metadata.
322
00:14:47,895 --> 00:14:50,947
I was continuing to post
what I wanted to post.
323
00:14:50,982 --> 00:14:54,300
And at some point, somebody from
playboy enterprises called me
324
00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:56,135
And said,
"victoria, what is your choice?"
325
00:14:56,212 --> 00:14:57,578
♪♪
326
00:14:57,580 --> 00:15:00,214
"are you gonna abide
by our standards
327
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:02,108
Of what we wanna see
in your website,
328
00:15:02,143 --> 00:15:03,909
Or are we gonna let you go?"
329
00:15:03,911 --> 00:15:05,327
And I jokingly said,
330
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,721
"well, I can always pose
for 'penthouse.'"
331
00:15:07,832 --> 00:15:09,406
After that conversation,
332
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:12,334
I received a letter
from hugh hefner himself.
333
00:15:12,336 --> 00:15:15,204
♪♪
334
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,310
"dear victoria,
335
00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:25,481
I'm really sorry to learn
of your venture into porn.
336
00:15:25,516 --> 00:15:28,993
I've always felt you were
one of the best and brightest
337
00:15:29,070 --> 00:15:30,853
Of playboy's playmates,
338
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,805
And I hate to see you
take the step
339
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:37,176
That will obviously
hurt your reputation and ours.
340
00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,562
Sincerely, hef."
341
00:15:39,597 --> 00:15:41,697
So, when I got
this letter in the mail,
342
00:15:41,699 --> 00:15:46,235
I knew this was probably the end
of my relationship with playboy.
343
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:56,445
So, basically, if you stepped
outside the playboy boundary,
344
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,547
You were sort of an outcast.
345
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,700
You were called
a rogue playmate,
346
00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:03,035
And they were playmates who
stepped out of the boundaries.
347
00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:05,505
Terri welles was one of them.
348
00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:07,673
Shauna sand was another one.
349
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,617
♪♪
350
00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:14,455
I started working
when I was really young.
351
00:16:14,532 --> 00:16:17,575
I had my first newspaper layout
when I was, like, 3 weeks old
352
00:16:17,652 --> 00:16:19,852
With, like, one little curl
on my head.
353
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,504
And it just, like,
took off from there.
354
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,332
♪♪
355
00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:27,743
I moved to mexico
when I was 15, 16,
356
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,944
And I started working.
357
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,905
I was doing modeling,
magazine covers.
358
00:16:31,983 --> 00:16:33,807
I did music videos.
359
00:16:33,885 --> 00:16:37,102
At that time. I met the owner
of playboy mexico.
360
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:38,921
♪♪
361
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,058
And it was my dream, you know,
because I had seen
362
00:16:42,093 --> 00:16:46,245
My first "playboy"
when I was maybe 12.
363
00:16:46,322 --> 00:16:50,157
And I was like, oh, my god,
this is absolutely gorgeous.
364
00:16:50,235 --> 00:16:51,467
It was just incredible,
365
00:16:51,502 --> 00:16:54,511
The impact that
that one cover had on me.
366
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,155
And I'm like,
I'm gonna be a playmate.
367
00:16:56,190 --> 00:17:00,017
But my mother--
she was very strict with me,
368
00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:02,662
And she said, "absolutely not.
You will be cut off."
369
00:17:02,697 --> 00:17:05,748
And I said, "okay,
I'm--I'm not gonna do it."
370
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:10,177
So, I went back to la jolla
to stay with my mom,
371
00:17:10,255 --> 00:17:12,839
And I wasn't able to do it.
372
00:17:12,874 --> 00:17:14,348
♪♪
373
00:17:14,425 --> 00:17:18,611
I'd always been with agencies
for acting and modeling.
374
00:17:18,687 --> 00:17:22,782
And when I was 23, my agent
at the time called me and said,
375
00:17:22,858 --> 00:17:26,877
"we have a part for you on
this tv show called 'renegade.'"
376
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,372
Announcer:
An outlaw hunting outlaws,
377
00:17:29,407 --> 00:17:31,073
A bounty hunter, a renegade.
378
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,633
♪♪
379
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:37,129
And I was like, "okay,"
and that's when I met lorenzo.
380
00:17:37,164 --> 00:17:39,515
♪♪
381
00:17:39,550 --> 00:17:41,233
He was very handsome.
382
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,719
He was gorgeous,
and he was really nice to me.
383
00:17:43,754 --> 00:17:46,773
He was very sweet.
He was a gentleman.
384
00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:50,309
He was 37, and I was 23.
385
00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:54,738
It was like love at first sight,
and we moved in together,
386
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:58,509
But I still was obsessed
with this idea of playboy.
387
00:17:58,586 --> 00:17:59,902
I said to him,
388
00:17:59,937 --> 00:18:02,988
"what are your thoughts
about me being in 'playboy'?"
389
00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:05,958
And he said his friend
was the editor,
390
00:18:05,993 --> 00:18:10,012
Marilyn grabowski
of playboy america.
391
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,964
He said,
"I can call her for you,"
392
00:18:11,999 --> 00:18:13,916
And I-I literally got
the chills.
393
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:15,902
♪♪
394
00:18:15,937 --> 00:18:17,761
So, he called her.
395
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:21,431
He said, "my girlfriend
would like to be in 'playboy.'"
396
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,351
And she said, "okay,
397
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:26,770
I need you to take
some pictures of her."
398
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,648
Then I got the pictures.
399
00:18:28,683 --> 00:18:30,850
I sent them
to marilyn grobowski,
400
00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:33,711
And she called me right away,
and she said,
401
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:37,289
"you are approved
to be in 'playboy.'"
402
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,891
I-I-I couldn't believe it.
403
00:18:38,968 --> 00:18:43,070
It was just the most amazing
feeling. It was...
404
00:18:43,072 --> 00:18:44,897
It was finally real.
405
00:18:44,974 --> 00:18:46,974
♪♪
406
00:18:47,051 --> 00:18:50,086
The theme of my centerfold
was my wedding to lorenzo,
407
00:18:50,121 --> 00:18:53,539
So it was a wedding gown theme,
408
00:18:53,616 --> 00:18:56,475
And everything was bridal,
and everything was white.
409
00:18:56,552 --> 00:19:01,848
And they wanted it to come out
at the same time as my wedding.
410
00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:03,532
I was literally in a dream.
411
00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:05,959
1995--I'm gonna tattoo it
on my body.
412
00:19:06,037 --> 00:19:08,053
That year was
the best year of my life.
413
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:10,055
All of my dreams
were being fulfilled,
414
00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:14,910
And everything that I had
manifested was like a reality.
415
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,154
It was crazy.
It happened so fast.
416
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,132
So, the magazine came out.
We were married.
417
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:23,727
Then we started to create
our beautiful family.
418
00:19:23,838 --> 00:19:25,304
♪♪
419
00:19:25,339 --> 00:19:27,723
I continued to work for playboy
420
00:19:27,758 --> 00:19:30,651
Throughout my marriage
and having kids.
421
00:19:30,728 --> 00:19:32,578
I did different magazines.
422
00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:36,040
They had a magazine called
"playboy's book of lingerie."
423
00:19:36,117 --> 00:19:38,508
I did personal appearances.
424
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:41,203
Like, we would go to vegas,
and the playmates would go
425
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,747
And do personal appearances,
for example.
426
00:19:43,825 --> 00:19:47,668
So, I continued to work
for playboy on a regular basis.
427
00:19:47,745 --> 00:19:50,162
After my third daughter
was born,
428
00:19:50,197 --> 00:19:54,316
Hef would call me and say,
"do you wanna go out?"
429
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:59,346
And I mean, I had
been pregnant for six years.
430
00:19:59,424 --> 00:20:02,241
It was crazy. I just kept
having baby after baby,
431
00:20:02,276 --> 00:20:06,119
And I-I really didn't go out,
stayed home.
432
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:09,698
But I had the urge
to, like, go out again.
433
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,292
Like, I need to get out
of the house, you know?
434
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:15,838
And who else better
to go out with than hef?
435
00:20:15,873 --> 00:20:17,706
♪♪
436
00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:20,325
So, I just started
going out a lot.
437
00:20:20,403 --> 00:20:24,846
And then
this particular evening,
438
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,508
Hef gave me the quaalude.
439
00:20:27,585 --> 00:20:29,693
I mixed it with too much.
440
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:31,545
I had, like,
too many margaritas,
441
00:20:31,622 --> 00:20:35,491
And I remember
getting out of the limo.
442
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:38,143
I was walking to the door
of the playboy mansion,
443
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:39,587
And I literally fell down,
444
00:20:39,663 --> 00:20:42,481
And my knees were,
like, bleeding.
445
00:20:42,558 --> 00:20:46,935
And I went and I stayed at
my girlfriend priscilla's house.
446
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:48,587
She was a playmate.
447
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,489
I didn't go home.
448
00:20:50,566 --> 00:20:53,626
I didn't call lorenzo
because I fell asleep.
449
00:20:53,661 --> 00:20:55,919
I didn't even wake up
until the next day.
450
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,463
I didn't do anything wrong.
451
00:20:57,498 --> 00:21:00,483
I never did anything wrong,
you know?
452
00:21:00,518 --> 00:21:03,176
But I-I didn't call him.
453
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:05,579
He was furious.
454
00:21:05,656 --> 00:21:09,608
I had no idea
that I was crossing a line,
455
00:21:09,610 --> 00:21:11,059
But I had never crossed a line.
456
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:13,271
I had been like
this perfect stepford wife.
457
00:21:13,347 --> 00:21:16,089
Everything was the way
he wanted it,
458
00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:20,002
And I didn't know
that I had no room for error.
459
00:21:20,037 --> 00:21:23,772
Like, come on.
I'm, like, 100% perfect.
460
00:21:23,807 --> 00:21:27,176
Don't I get 1%
of a little error?
461
00:21:27,211 --> 00:21:28,861
But I guess I didn't.
462
00:21:28,937 --> 00:21:32,214
And so then he left.
463
00:21:32,216 --> 00:21:33,615
♪♪
464
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:36,035
Man, in general--
they're control freaks,
465
00:21:36,111 --> 00:21:37,611
And I had a curfew
466
00:21:37,688 --> 00:21:41,540
With my husband, but yet
I had no curfew growing up.
467
00:21:41,617 --> 00:21:43,876
How crazy is that, right?
I have the chills.
468
00:21:43,911 --> 00:21:45,611
♪♪
469
00:21:45,613 --> 00:21:48,330
The divorce was
really traumatizing for me.
470
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:49,623
♪♪
471
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:53,001
Seven and a half years
of this love affair,
472
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:55,771
And then all of a sudden,
it's over in one second.
473
00:21:58,501 --> 00:22:00,392
I was in shock.
474
00:22:00,427 --> 00:22:04,513
♪♪
475
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:06,681
I think
for seven and a half years,
476
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:09,118
We only spent maybe
three nights apart
477
00:22:09,153 --> 00:22:12,054
Out of the entire relationship.
478
00:22:12,089 --> 00:22:15,982
Now here I find myself alone.
479
00:22:15,984 --> 00:22:18,669
I was focused on surviving.
480
00:22:20,247 --> 00:22:23,782
♪♪
481
00:22:23,784 --> 00:22:25,283
Even after my separation,
482
00:22:25,361 --> 00:22:29,271
I continued to work for playboy
through playmate promotions.
483
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:33,875
But I think
it was, like, 2003, 2004,
484
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:35,861
Uh, larry flynt contacted me.
485
00:22:36,013 --> 00:22:38,564
He said that he wanted
to take a meeting with me
486
00:22:38,599 --> 00:22:40,733
At his office on la cienega.
487
00:22:40,768 --> 00:22:43,069
I was like, wow. "hustler."
488
00:22:43,104 --> 00:22:44,904
I heard that's kind of,
you know,
489
00:22:44,939 --> 00:22:48,874
Pretty raunchy and stuff,
and I'm not really into that,
490
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,860
But I was like,
I wanna hear what he has to say.
491
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:55,480
I scheduled the meeting
with larry flynt,
492
00:22:55,558 --> 00:22:58,784
And I get there.
I go into his office.
493
00:22:58,861 --> 00:23:00,686
♪♪
494
00:23:00,721 --> 00:23:04,023
I walk into this, like,
enormous office.
495
00:23:04,058 --> 00:23:06,092
Everything is, like, gold.
I feel like I'm at
496
00:23:06,127 --> 00:23:08,177
The château de versailles
or something like this.
497
00:23:08,212 --> 00:23:12,789
And he has a giant desk,
and he's sitting at his desk,
498
00:23:12,867 --> 00:23:15,467
And I sit in front
at this little chair.
499
00:23:15,469 --> 00:23:18,320
I'm, like, so little, you know?
500
00:23:18,322 --> 00:23:20,940
And so he tells me he wants me
to be the hustler girl
501
00:23:20,975 --> 00:23:22,566
And do all the videos.
502
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,317
I thought, okay.
503
00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:28,114
And then he tells me
to take off all my clothes.
504
00:23:28,149 --> 00:23:30,582
It's just him and I.
No one's there.
505
00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:33,093
So, I stand up.
506
00:23:33,170 --> 00:23:34,995
I take off all my clothes,
507
00:23:35,072 --> 00:23:36,646
And he says, "come here."
508
00:23:36,724 --> 00:23:39,141
So I walk up to him,
turn around,
509
00:23:39,176 --> 00:23:42,578
And I have a playboy tattoo
on my stomach.
510
00:23:42,613 --> 00:23:44,763
And he said, "you know,
you're gonna have to remove
511
00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:45,998
Your playboy tattoo."
512
00:23:46,033 --> 00:23:48,258
♪♪
513
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,686
He offered me a decent amount
of money,
514
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:55,440
And career-wise,
and as far as money,
515
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:58,369
It would have been advantageous
for me to accept that.
516
00:23:58,445 --> 00:24:01,013
So we have a very nice
conversation, and I leave.
517
00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:03,673
And then afterwards,
I call hef.
518
00:24:03,751 --> 00:24:08,520
And I said, "larry flynt wants
me to pose for the magazine
519
00:24:08,631 --> 00:24:11,957
And work for him and do
his videos and all of this."
520
00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:16,262
And hef said, "absolutely not."
521
00:24:16,297 --> 00:24:17,629
♪♪
522
00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:20,440
"if you want
to work for larry flynt,
523
00:24:20,518 --> 00:24:23,544
You can have
nothing to do with playboy.
524
00:24:23,621 --> 00:24:27,623
You won't be allowed
to work for playboy anymore."
525
00:24:27,658 --> 00:24:30,634
I can't do
what I want with my body
526
00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:32,961
As far as working
for any other company.
527
00:24:33,038 --> 00:24:35,614
Playboy controlled
who I posed for
528
00:24:35,649 --> 00:24:37,933
And my nude modeling,
529
00:24:37,968 --> 00:24:42,980
And basically,
I couldn't work anywhere else.
530
00:24:47,094 --> 00:24:50,746
Hef said, "if you want
to work for larry flynt,
531
00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:54,033
You can have
nothing to do with playboy."
532
00:24:54,068 --> 00:24:56,135
And that crushed me because
533
00:24:56,137 --> 00:24:58,746
That had been
my extended family.
534
00:24:58,822 --> 00:25:02,399
I had been
to the playboy mansion
535
00:25:02,476 --> 00:25:04,918
Nonstop since 1995.
536
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,112
My kids went
to the playboy mansion
537
00:25:07,114 --> 00:25:08,780
Every year
for the easter egg hunt.
538
00:25:08,782 --> 00:25:11,583
That was basically my family.
539
00:25:11,660 --> 00:25:13,101
I already lost one family.
540
00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:14,603
I'm not gonna
lose my other family.
541
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,263
So, I called larry flynt
and I said,
542
00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:18,757
"thank you so much
for your offer.
543
00:25:18,909 --> 00:25:22,694
I'm very honored, but I won't be
able to move forward with this."
544
00:25:22,729 --> 00:25:25,855
♪♪
545
00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:29,259
Come on. Come on. Good girl.
546
00:25:29,337 --> 00:25:30,986
Look, we're gonna do
your polish.
547
00:25:31,021 --> 00:25:33,697
Good girl.
Look at your pretty polish.
548
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,682
She'll lay here like this
for an hour
549
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,460
And just let me paint
all of her nails.
550
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:39,928
♪♪
551
00:25:39,963 --> 00:25:42,964
Good girl, buddha.
552
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:47,360
Even after my--my separation,
I still went out with hef.
553
00:25:47,438 --> 00:25:49,554
We would go out
with all the girlfriends.
554
00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:53,983
We would go to a club,
and I would stay at the mansion.
555
00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:55,277
It was fun, though.
556
00:25:55,312 --> 00:25:58,213
When you've been locked up
in your house for seven years,
557
00:25:58,248 --> 00:25:59,748
You wanna go out.
558
00:25:59,750 --> 00:26:02,476
♪♪
559
00:26:02,478 --> 00:26:04,961
So, this particular evening,
560
00:26:05,039 --> 00:26:07,264
Hef invited me up
to his bedroom
561
00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:08,882
After we had gone to a club,
562
00:26:08,959 --> 00:26:11,277
And I witnessed
what was going on...
563
00:26:11,312 --> 00:26:13,979
♪♪
564
00:26:13,981 --> 00:26:18,117
...With seven girlfriends
and, like, vibrators everywhere,
565
00:26:18,152 --> 00:26:22,846
And it was definitely a--
something I hadn't seen before.
566
00:26:22,923 --> 00:26:24,999
I'd come to the bedroom,
and there's seven girls
567
00:26:25,075 --> 00:26:29,228
And, like, porn on and weed,
and I'm like, oh, my god,
568
00:26:29,263 --> 00:26:31,237
Uh, I need to go. I'm gonna go.
569
00:26:31,315 --> 00:26:33,665
I didn't wanna have
anything to do with that.
570
00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:35,384
I chose not to be a part of it.
571
00:26:35,419 --> 00:26:37,686
I was never one
of hef's girlfriends.
572
00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:40,330
He wanted me to be,
and I could have been,
573
00:26:40,408 --> 00:26:42,507
But I was not interested
in that.
574
00:26:42,584 --> 00:26:45,293
I'm, like,
a very family-oriented person,
575
00:26:45,371 --> 00:26:47,796
Where I want to be
with one person.
576
00:26:47,873 --> 00:26:49,264
I wanna be married.
577
00:26:49,299 --> 00:26:51,625
I loved him as a person,
578
00:26:51,702 --> 00:26:54,753
Um, but I was not
about to sleep with him.
579
00:26:54,788 --> 00:26:56,071
But everything was okay.
580
00:26:56,106 --> 00:26:57,756
He didn't put
any pressure on me.
581
00:26:57,791 --> 00:26:59,608
He was about
my personal choice.
582
00:26:59,685 --> 00:27:03,329
If I wanted to participate
in any kind of activities,
583
00:27:03,364 --> 00:27:04,863
Then that was up to me.
584
00:27:04,940 --> 00:27:08,283
If I didn't want to participate,
I just said no,
585
00:27:08,436 --> 00:27:10,835
And everything
still stayed the same.
586
00:27:10,837 --> 00:27:13,171
I still worked for playboy.
I was still his friend.
587
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:16,041
I still went out to dinner
with him. Nothing changed.
588
00:27:16,118 --> 00:27:20,228
♪♪
589
00:27:20,305 --> 00:27:23,799
So, in 2009, I ventured out
into the french market,
590
00:27:23,834 --> 00:27:27,852
And I started doing
reality shows in France,
591
00:27:27,854 --> 00:27:30,806
And I filmed
the french "big brother."
592
00:27:30,882 --> 00:27:33,967
While I was there,
I realized a sex tape
593
00:27:34,044 --> 00:27:38,030
With my boyfriend at the time
was missing.
594
00:27:38,065 --> 00:27:40,699
It was stolen from me,
595
00:27:40,734 --> 00:27:43,226
And vivid got ahold
of this tape.
596
00:27:43,304 --> 00:27:50,409
In my mind, I was like,
pamela anderson has a sex tape.
597
00:27:50,485 --> 00:27:52,644
I didn't think
it was that big of a deal.
598
00:27:52,679 --> 00:27:54,213
Sex tapes were common back then.
599
00:27:54,248 --> 00:27:56,656
It was gonna come out anyway.
600
00:27:56,734 --> 00:27:59,267
So, I worked with vivid,
and we did a deal,
601
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:02,838
And then I was actually
a creative part of the tape.
602
00:28:02,873 --> 00:28:08,109
They wanted me to translate it
because it was in french.
603
00:28:08,144 --> 00:28:13,932
So, I did that,
and vivid released the tape.
604
00:28:14,009 --> 00:28:17,352
I called
into playmate promotions.
605
00:28:17,387 --> 00:28:18,737
I always worked for them,
and I said,
606
00:28:18,772 --> 00:28:20,847
"what jobs do I have coming up?"
607
00:28:20,925 --> 00:28:24,543
And they said, "hef called us,
and we were going to call you.
608
00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:29,631
Because of your tape, you can
no longer work for playboy."
609
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:31,350
♪♪
610
00:28:31,385 --> 00:28:33,718
And I was heartbroken.
611
00:28:33,795 --> 00:28:36,255
I was in shock.
612
00:28:36,290 --> 00:28:40,759
I turned down larry flynt
for hef. I was faithful.
613
00:28:40,794 --> 00:28:45,264
I did my part, and then
you're, like, throwing me away.
614
00:28:46,283 --> 00:28:49,076
That devastated me
because I had been
615
00:28:49,152 --> 00:28:53,004
Working for them since 1995.
That was my family.
616
00:28:53,006 --> 00:28:54,380
♪♪
617
00:28:54,458 --> 00:28:58,444
I don't really think they took
into consideration my feelings.
618
00:28:58,479 --> 00:29:00,470
It's like you build up
a personal relationship
619
00:29:00,548 --> 00:29:02,647
With someone
after all these years,
620
00:29:02,724 --> 00:29:08,311
And you just don't expect them
to do something so hurtful.
621
00:29:08,389 --> 00:29:11,039
And they can't
control everything.
622
00:29:11,074 --> 00:29:14,126
We should be able to do whatever
we want with our bodies,
623
00:29:14,161 --> 00:29:19,339
And I don't want any man
nor any business
624
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:22,050
Telling me
what I can and can't do.
625
00:29:26,323 --> 00:29:28,081
♪♪
626
00:29:28,158 --> 00:29:30,325
You had young women
627
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:35,063
Who are now being presented
this glitzy opportunity
628
00:29:35,098 --> 00:29:39,860
To appear in the magazine
and to associate with playboy
629
00:29:39,937 --> 00:29:41,202
And to go to the mansion
630
00:29:41,237 --> 00:29:43,238
And sometimes to live
at the mansion
631
00:29:43,273 --> 00:29:47,025
And to be invited by playboy
to promotional events.
632
00:29:47,060 --> 00:29:50,529
I have no doubt that that looked
all very, very attractive.
633
00:29:50,605 --> 00:29:52,689
I think a lot of them
really felt
634
00:29:52,766 --> 00:29:55,334
That this wasn't
the peak of their career.
635
00:29:55,369 --> 00:29:59,171
This is a springboard
to a much bigger career
636
00:29:59,206 --> 00:30:01,130
That they could have
in hollywood
637
00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,592
And the movies, et cetera.
638
00:30:03,627 --> 00:30:08,697
Well, actually, it turned out
to be an impediment.
639
00:30:08,732 --> 00:30:10,015
♪♪
640
00:30:10,125 --> 00:30:11,533
Growing up in high school,
641
00:30:11,568 --> 00:30:14,036
My mom wrote words
on my walls, right?
642
00:30:14,071 --> 00:30:15,478
So, above my bedroom door,
I had,
643
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:16,888
"you can be anything
you wanna be."
644
00:30:16,965 --> 00:30:20,359
Successful, model,
um, best friend.
645
00:30:20,394 --> 00:30:24,320
And then behind my bed,
it said, "I will be famous.
646
00:30:24,322 --> 00:30:25,972
I will be a star.
I'm going to hollywood."
647
00:30:26,050 --> 00:30:30,143
So, I always knew I wanted
to go to hollywood.
648
00:30:30,220 --> 00:30:33,721
I was born in san diego,
and I moved around quite a bit.
649
00:30:33,723 --> 00:30:36,575
I went to 17 schools altogether.
650
00:30:36,651 --> 00:30:38,226
My sophomore year
of high school,
651
00:30:38,261 --> 00:30:39,744
We moved to portland, oregon,
652
00:30:39,821 --> 00:30:43,915
And I modeled overseas
in high school.
653
00:30:43,950 --> 00:30:46,735
I was picking up a check
from my modeling agency,
654
00:30:46,770 --> 00:30:48,487
And the receptionist--
she was like,
655
00:30:48,522 --> 00:30:51,974
"are you going to the pageant
next weekend? Miss teen oregon."
656
00:30:52,009 --> 00:30:53,858
I'm like,
"what's miss teen oregon?"
657
00:30:53,935 --> 00:30:55,143
I knew what a pageant was,
658
00:30:55,178 --> 00:30:56,511
But I didn't know what
a pageant was.
659
00:30:56,588 --> 00:30:58,230
Like, I don't think I ever
watched a pageant, to be honest.
660
00:30:58,265 --> 00:31:01,733
Like, I-I knew what, like,
a beauty queen was, I think.
661
00:31:01,768 --> 00:31:06,955
So, I told my mom I wanted
to compete for miss teen oregon,
662
00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:09,032
And she's like, "kari,
these girls have been doing this
663
00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:11,325
Their whole life, like, since
they were, like, little kids."
664
00:31:11,327 --> 00:31:13,878
I was like, "mom, I got this.
I got a homecoming dress.
665
00:31:13,913 --> 00:31:16,706
I have a swimsuit. We just need
to go buy an interview outfit."
666
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:21,545
And so, I competed in two weeks,
and I made the top 10.
667
00:31:21,622 --> 00:31:22,954
I didn't win that year,
668
00:31:23,031 --> 00:31:26,032
But then I came back
the following year, and I won.
669
00:31:26,110 --> 00:31:31,146
In 2002,
I competed at miss teen usa,
670
00:31:31,181 --> 00:31:33,056
Which is part of
the miss universe organization.
671
00:31:33,166 --> 00:31:34,433
I didn't win that one,
672
00:31:34,435 --> 00:31:37,218
But then I competed
the following year
673
00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:39,821
At miss united states teen,
representing oregon,
674
00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:43,650
And I won that pageant in 2003.
675
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,628
Announcer:
Kari peniche from oregon
676
00:31:46,663 --> 00:31:49,614
Is miss united states teen.
677
00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:51,283
So, after I got my crown,
678
00:31:51,318 --> 00:31:54,286
I moved to l.A.
To pursue acting.
679
00:31:54,321 --> 00:31:56,163
So, I called an agency.
680
00:31:56,239 --> 00:31:58,748
I asked for the head
of the commercial department
681
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:02,385
And got the assistant,
and I hung up,
682
00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:03,979
And I went in the next day
and said
683
00:32:04,014 --> 00:32:05,747
I had a meeting with that agent.
684
00:32:05,824 --> 00:32:07,633
♪♪
685
00:32:07,668 --> 00:32:10,135
And the assistant came out,
and I was like,
686
00:32:10,170 --> 00:32:13,371
"hi. Are you laura?"
and she said, "yeah."
687
00:32:13,449 --> 00:32:15,157
And I was like, "it's so nice
688
00:32:15,192 --> 00:32:17,100
To finally put a face
to your voice."
689
00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:19,478
And then the agent came out,
and I met with the agent.
690
00:32:19,513 --> 00:32:20,979
He had me come back
the following day
691
00:32:21,014 --> 00:32:23,031
To meet
with the theatrical department.
692
00:32:23,108 --> 00:32:27,202
They sent me on an audition.
And then laura, that assistant--
693
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:29,504
She's the one that gave me
the "playboy" offer.
694
00:32:29,539 --> 00:32:31,931
So, when I got the call
from the agency that
695
00:32:32,009 --> 00:32:35,451
"playboy" had made an offer
for me to pose in the magazine,
696
00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:38,121
My answer was no,
'cause it was nudity.
697
00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:41,966
I didn't want it to affect
my reign or the pageant.
698
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,776
You know, I wanted to do
a good job for the pageant,
699
00:32:43,854 --> 00:32:45,870
And I didn't
want to disappoint them.
700
00:32:45,947 --> 00:32:48,056
I-I really liked my directors.
701
00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:51,284
But then I knew
that the contract
702
00:32:51,361 --> 00:32:53,036
For being
miss united states teen
703
00:32:53,113 --> 00:32:54,362
Didn't have a nudity clause.
704
00:32:54,397 --> 00:32:55,897
It had
a morals and values clause.
705
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:59,234
So, I saw that
as it being an opportunity
706
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:01,178
For me to make that decision
and that choice.
707
00:33:01,180 --> 00:33:04,481
After thinking about it
and seeing the carmen electras
708
00:33:04,558 --> 00:33:07,133
And the pamela anderson,
anna nicole smith
709
00:33:07,211 --> 00:33:10,879
Come from "playboy,"
I decided to make the choice
710
00:33:10,914 --> 00:33:14,566
For myself
as an adult woman, now 20,
711
00:33:14,642 --> 00:33:16,325
To pose for the magazine.
712
00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:18,887
So, I talked to my family
about it,
713
00:33:18,922 --> 00:33:20,646
And everyone was supportive.
714
00:33:20,724 --> 00:33:23,074
My mom just said,
"no crotch shots."
715
00:33:23,109 --> 00:33:25,076
I said, "okay. I won't do any."
716
00:33:25,078 --> 00:33:26,578
♪♪
717
00:33:26,654 --> 00:33:29,898
So the "playboy" shoot,
I was so nervous.
718
00:33:29,933 --> 00:33:32,167
You know, I was young.
I'd never posed nude before.
719
00:33:32,202 --> 00:33:35,920
And there's all these,
like, young, cute guys
720
00:33:35,997 --> 00:33:37,739
That hold these reflectors,
and, like,
721
00:33:37,774 --> 00:33:40,909
They have you positioned
in the funniest ways, right?
722
00:33:40,944 --> 00:33:43,336
And you're like, I know you're
not photographing right there,
723
00:33:43,413 --> 00:33:45,063
But I'm totally naked,
and there's somebody, like,
724
00:33:45,098 --> 00:33:46,355
Shining a shiny thing...
725
00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:50,359
[laughs] right behind me,
and he's really cute.
726
00:33:50,361 --> 00:33:51,536
My shoot was, like--
727
00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:53,354
I think it was, like,
four or five days long.
728
00:33:53,389 --> 00:33:54,573
♪♪
729
00:33:54,608 --> 00:33:56,991
It was a pageant theme,
so I was, like, in this
730
00:33:56,993 --> 00:33:59,995
Pepto-bismol pink gown
and pink balloons,
731
00:34:00,030 --> 00:34:02,447
So, it was very cute.
732
00:34:02,524 --> 00:34:07,135
And there was one crotch shot,
but not too much. [laughs]
733
00:34:07,137 --> 00:34:09,171
♪♪
734
00:34:09,206 --> 00:34:11,206
So, one of the things
I negotiated with playboy
735
00:34:11,282 --> 00:34:14,409
Was that I would be doing
the November issue of "playboy,"
736
00:34:14,485 --> 00:34:16,302
Which was--would be
coming out five days
737
00:34:16,304 --> 00:34:19,464
After my reign
of miss united states teen.
738
00:34:19,541 --> 00:34:22,984
But they published in
the October issue that I would
739
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,062
Be coming out
in the following month's issue.
740
00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:27,481
I didn't know
that there was going to be
741
00:34:27,557 --> 00:34:30,625
Any tease or press release
of any kind that I would--
742
00:34:30,660 --> 00:34:32,944
I was gonna be
in the November issue at all.
743
00:34:32,979 --> 00:34:34,720
♪♪
744
00:34:34,798 --> 00:34:37,081
I found out from my directors
when I got a phone call,
745
00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:40,226
And they said the father
of some delegate
746
00:34:40,304 --> 00:34:42,061
That was gonna be competing
in the pageant
747
00:34:42,139 --> 00:34:46,165
Had seen miss united states teen
was going to be in "playboy."
748
00:34:46,167 --> 00:34:48,918
The pageant director
said that my first runner-up
749
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:53,906
Would be going to crown the girl
in five days
750
00:34:53,984 --> 00:34:56,701
And that I wouldn't be
crowning the--
751
00:34:56,778 --> 00:34:59,262
The new miss united states teen.
752
00:35:01,341 --> 00:35:03,925
So, the pageant
stripped me of my title
753
00:35:04,002 --> 00:35:07,428
Because I made the choice
to pose for the magazine.
754
00:35:07,505 --> 00:35:09,456
They wanted back my crown
and my banner
755
00:35:09,532 --> 00:35:12,016
And all of my used prizes.
756
00:35:12,051 --> 00:35:14,920
I kept everything 'cause
I didn't break any rules.
757
00:35:14,955 --> 00:35:17,005
I might have not
told them what I was doing,
758
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:18,598
But it was my choice.
759
00:35:18,675 --> 00:35:20,408
You know, there was
a morals and values clause.
760
00:35:20,443 --> 00:35:22,110
So, those were my morals
and my values,
761
00:35:22,145 --> 00:35:23,662
And I chose to do the magazine,
762
00:35:23,697 --> 00:35:28,191
And there wasn't a nudity clause
in the contract
763
00:35:28,268 --> 00:35:30,201
For being
miss united states teen.
764
00:35:30,236 --> 00:35:32,720
I didn't break any rules
in my contract.
765
00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:35,615
When I first got to l.A.,
like, I'd go to my auditions,
766
00:35:35,692 --> 00:35:39,227
And I'd be like, "here I am.
Aren't you so happy to see me?"
767
00:35:39,304 --> 00:35:40,561
[laughs]
768
00:35:40,638 --> 00:35:42,305
And then after I did "playboy,"
769
00:35:42,307 --> 00:35:43,789
I noticed
people started to be like,
770
00:35:43,867 --> 00:35:46,309
"oh, you're the miss teen girl
who lost her crown"
771
00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:47,702
Or, "you're the beauty queen
gone wrong,
772
00:35:47,737 --> 00:35:49,896
The beauty queen gone bad,
the beauty queen
773
00:35:49,973 --> 00:35:53,900
That got stripped of her title
for stripping in 'playboy,."
774
00:35:53,977 --> 00:35:56,227
I started to get more insecure
and nervous.
775
00:35:56,304 --> 00:35:59,664
I started to feel shy
when I was auditioning
776
00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:02,534
Or, like, I didn't know how
to answer questions sometimes.
777
00:36:02,569 --> 00:36:04,953
I just didn't think about
those things before I did it.
778
00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:07,079
I was just
so excited to do "playboy."
779
00:36:07,081 --> 00:36:10,650
I didn't realize at the time
that a big part of my innocence
780
00:36:10,727 --> 00:36:14,345
Was actually being given away
and taken at that time, too.
781
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:18,216
♪♪
782
00:36:21,388 --> 00:36:23,071
So after posing for "playboy,"
783
00:36:23,106 --> 00:36:27,058
I do the whole press tour,
and I did a lot of appearances.
784
00:36:27,093 --> 00:36:29,777
So for, like,
two and a half, three years,
785
00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:31,003
That's all I did,
was club appearances,
786
00:36:31,081 --> 00:36:33,690
Getting paid
quite a bit of money
787
00:36:33,767 --> 00:36:36,025
To just show up and party.
788
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:39,921
I was 21, 22, 23,
showing up at the clubs
789
00:36:39,956 --> 00:36:42,123
And just taking pictures
and drinking.
790
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:46,210
It became such a big part
of my identity in a weird way.
791
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:48,312
Three years had passed,
four years had passed
792
00:36:48,390 --> 00:36:50,707
Since I had
really done anything.
793
00:36:53,036 --> 00:36:55,587
Yeah. Yeah.
794
00:36:55,589 --> 00:36:57,655
No, I was just partying a lot,
and I just got caught up.
795
00:36:57,733 --> 00:37:00,550
You know, I got caught up
in the l.A.,
796
00:37:00,627 --> 00:37:03,795
The hollywood lifestyle
for a little while.
797
00:37:03,830 --> 00:37:05,430
You know?
798
00:37:07,951 --> 00:37:10,585
Then I ended up in rehab.
What are you talking about?
799
00:37:10,661 --> 00:37:11,953
[laughs]
800
00:37:11,988 --> 00:37:15,073
♪♪
801
00:37:15,149 --> 00:37:17,475
I knew I needed some kind
of life intervention to, like,
802
00:37:17,510 --> 00:37:21,162
Get my [bleep] together,
get my life together, you know?
803
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,907
So I did
"sex rehab with dr. Drew."
804
00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:27,335
I did "celebrity rehab
with dr. Drew," season three.
805
00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:29,320
And then I did
"sober house," season two.
806
00:37:29,397 --> 00:37:30,896
♪♪
807
00:37:30,974 --> 00:37:33,399
I learned so much in rehab.
808
00:37:33,477 --> 00:37:35,067
All the therapy that I did
and to look at things
809
00:37:35,145 --> 00:37:41,399
That I'd never looked at before
was really beneficial for me.
810
00:37:41,434 --> 00:37:44,636
I think I chose playboy
initially because I thought
811
00:37:44,671 --> 00:37:47,155
It was about liberation
of women.
812
00:37:47,190 --> 00:37:49,857
But what I realized
is that it wasn't.
813
00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:52,435
It was still
very much using women
814
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:57,698
To maintain their idea
of what beauty, sexuality was.
815
00:37:57,775 --> 00:38:00,351
Shauna:
How can we all be so perfect?
816
00:38:00,386 --> 00:38:02,687
We can't do what
we want with our bodies
817
00:38:02,764 --> 00:38:05,573
Without
having such consequences.
818
00:38:05,608 --> 00:38:08,576
Kari ann: When I made
the choice to do "playboy,"
819
00:38:08,611 --> 00:38:11,179
I didn't think about
the fact that I was a role model
820
00:38:11,214 --> 00:38:13,272
For teenage girls,
821
00:38:13,350 --> 00:38:15,883
But I was making a choice
for myself
822
00:38:15,918 --> 00:38:18,503
As an adult 20-year-old woman
at that point.
823
00:38:18,538 --> 00:38:21,113
And the father of
some delegate was flipping
824
00:38:21,224 --> 00:38:23,966
Through the magazine,
and he called the directors,
825
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:25,826
And it was okay for him
to look at the magazine,
826
00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:27,636
But it wasn't okay
for me to pose in it.
827
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:31,132
Shauna: I've always felt
that there's just
828
00:38:31,209 --> 00:38:35,729
A lot of hypocrisy going on
with women's bodies.
829
00:38:35,805 --> 00:38:39,474
I think it was around 2011
or a little bit thereafter,
830
00:38:39,509 --> 00:38:45,530
Playboy sold most of
their catalogs to porn sites.
831
00:38:46,532 --> 00:38:47,748
Absolutely.
832
00:38:47,783 --> 00:38:49,633
I don't think there
could have been anything else
833
00:38:49,635 --> 00:38:51,886
That could have pissed me off
even more than that.
834
00:38:51,921 --> 00:38:53,821
I mean, that's so hypocritical.
835
00:38:53,898 --> 00:38:55,707
That's against
everything that he told me
836
00:38:55,742 --> 00:38:57,742
That he was mad about me
for doing,
837
00:38:57,819 --> 00:38:59,544
And then he goes and he does it.
838
00:38:59,579 --> 00:39:01,563
The way playboy
controlled playmates
839
00:39:01,598 --> 00:39:03,598
Is through shame and guilt,
840
00:39:03,674 --> 00:39:05,591
And if you open your legs
a little more,
841
00:39:05,593 --> 00:39:08,828
It's shameful,
that it's not dignified.
842
00:39:08,905 --> 00:39:10,846
Playboy is
only within this boundary
843
00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:13,666
That photography has
to be beautiful and lit.
844
00:39:13,743 --> 00:39:15,334
It has to be airbrushed.
845
00:39:15,412 --> 00:39:19,355
Anything that's raw
and airbrushed is undignified.
846
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:23,359
You're gonna judge me
and tell me I can't do this
847
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,528
Or judge me
because I did something.
848
00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:27,288
But yet,
what do you really do when
849
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:29,031
You close the door
to your house?
850
00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:30,474
You know,
how do you really behave?
851
00:39:30,552 --> 00:39:32,193
What are you really doing?
852
00:39:32,270 --> 00:39:33,786
It was a double standard.
853
00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:35,096
There's just no question
about it.
854
00:39:35,131 --> 00:39:36,664
What company
in the united states
855
00:39:36,699 --> 00:39:42,303
Other than playboy had their ceo
or chairman of the board
856
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,639
Wearing his pajamas
and smoking jacket every day
857
00:39:44,715 --> 00:39:48,884
And saying, "I've had sex
with over a thousand women"?
858
00:39:48,886 --> 00:39:52,797
How many girlfriends
have you had? Hundreds?
859
00:39:52,874 --> 00:39:55,483
Well, certainly over a thousand,
I'm sure.
860
00:39:55,560 --> 00:40:00,038
And the women--they were
vulnerable, they were young.
861
00:40:00,073 --> 00:40:03,108
He knew exactly what
he was doing.
862
00:40:03,143 --> 00:40:07,003
But it was also born of
their proprietary notions that,
863
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:10,665
"we made you. We plucked you
out of obscurity.
864
00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:13,009
Now you need to follow
the rules,
865
00:40:13,086 --> 00:40:15,870
And you need to do
what we want you to do."
866
00:40:15,872 --> 00:40:19,724
Eventually,
when I departed from playboy,
867
00:40:19,759 --> 00:40:22,227
It was very liberating
because I realized,
868
00:40:22,262 --> 00:40:23,919
Now I can be in control.
869
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:29,884
I can choose what I want to be,
how I wanna portray myself,
870
00:40:29,919 --> 00:40:33,020
And that was extremely
liberating and empowering.
871
00:40:33,022 --> 00:40:36,516
Onlyfans--it's a uk-based
subscription service
872
00:40:36,518 --> 00:40:38,676
Known for x-rated content,
873
00:40:38,711 --> 00:40:41,061
And while it's been
a hub for sex workers,
874
00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:42,563
It also hosts everyone
from fitness bloggers
875
00:40:42,565 --> 00:40:45,625
To musicians to a growing list
of celebrities.
876
00:40:45,702 --> 00:40:47,843
I'm on onlyfans.
877
00:40:47,921 --> 00:40:51,706
It's a lot of fun.
It's basically taking pictures,
878
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:54,558
And you can actually talk
to the people.
879
00:40:54,593 --> 00:40:56,277
Like, you can do a live video
880
00:40:56,354 --> 00:40:58,813
Where they see you
and can interact with you
881
00:40:58,889 --> 00:41:00,131
And ask questions.
882
00:41:00,207 --> 00:41:04,235
And it's funny, because
it's actually like playboy,
883
00:41:04,312 --> 00:41:05,753
But I'm my own boss.
884
00:41:05,755 --> 00:41:09,131
It's liberating,
and it's normalized.
885
00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:12,569
Like, it became so normal.
886
00:41:12,645 --> 00:41:15,120
And what I like
about adult industry is--
887
00:41:15,198 --> 00:41:17,039
Is this ultimate choice.
888
00:41:17,117 --> 00:41:19,959
A woman decides what to do
with her body.
889
00:41:20,069 --> 00:41:22,461
That, to me,
is why adult industry
890
00:41:22,539 --> 00:41:28,276
Can be so empowering
if you use it the right way.
891
00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:32,197
No, I do not regret
posing for "playboy."
892
00:41:32,232 --> 00:41:34,649
Forever,
there'll be that picture,
893
00:41:34,684 --> 00:41:37,409
And that picture will be young,
and in the minds of men
894
00:41:37,411 --> 00:41:40,087
Who look at that picture,
I will always be that.
895
00:41:40,164 --> 00:41:44,500
And therefore there's a bit of
a symbolic immortality to that.
896
00:41:44,502 --> 00:41:47,937
I don't believe in regrets
because I think
897
00:41:48,014 --> 00:41:50,765
That you can only learn
from your mistakes.
898
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:55,303
Even after all of the conflict
that came along with it,
899
00:41:55,338 --> 00:41:59,891
The dream coming true of being
a playmate, it was just magical.
900
00:41:59,926 --> 00:42:05,596
And it also gave me
such an amazing amount of pride,
901
00:42:05,631 --> 00:42:07,732
And I was so proud of my body,
902
00:42:07,767 --> 00:42:11,010
And I carried myself
in such a different way.
903
00:42:11,087 --> 00:42:13,521
I was proud of the pictures.
904
00:42:13,556 --> 00:42:15,590
I don't blame "playboy"
for anything,
905
00:42:15,625 --> 00:42:17,659
And it totally changed my life.
906
00:42:17,694 --> 00:42:21,128
Even though it did cost me
my crown, I would do it again.
907
00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:22,096
Yeah.
908
00:42:22,131 --> 00:42:23,431
I think it's really unfortunate
909
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:26,434
That so many women
are bound by choices
910
00:42:26,469 --> 00:42:29,754
That others,
particularly men, make for them.
911
00:42:29,789 --> 00:42:33,941
I believe women should
own their bodies
912
00:42:33,976 --> 00:42:36,702
If they want
to use it for procreation,
913
00:42:36,704 --> 00:42:39,872
For profit, for pleasure.
914
00:42:39,949 --> 00:42:42,041
Our bodies belong to us.
915
00:42:42,118 --> 00:42:45,870
It's time that women choose
what they wanna be,
916
00:42:45,905 --> 00:42:47,988
And just because you make
one choice doesn't mean
917
00:42:48,065 --> 00:42:49,548
That you can't be
something else.
918
00:42:49,626 --> 00:42:52,960
You don't have to worry
what others think,
919
00:42:52,995 --> 00:42:57,031
What society is
gonna impose upon you.
920
00:42:57,066 --> 00:42:58,466
You know, you live one life,
921
00:42:58,501 --> 00:43:00,368
And that life should be
about your narrative,
922
00:43:00,403 --> 00:43:05,123
And that narrative, you should
choose to write your own way.
923
00:43:07,234 --> 00:43:08,734
There is a lot of backlash
924
00:43:08,812 --> 00:43:12,880
When you are a female athlete
who posed for "playboy."
925
00:43:12,957 --> 00:43:15,741
I didn't think anybody was gonna
make a big deal about it,
926
00:43:15,819 --> 00:43:18,853
And for some reason,
people lost it.
927
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:20,271
♪♪
928
00:43:20,347 --> 00:43:22,289
There were incidents
that happened
929
00:43:22,366 --> 00:43:26,327
That could have destroyed
my entire career.
930
00:43:26,362 --> 00:43:29,188
They asked me to show my vagina.
931
00:43:29,265 --> 00:43:31,365
I just gave in
and knew that I was
932
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:32,667
Probably gonna go to hell.
933
00:43:32,702 --> 00:43:35,486
This was shocking.