1 00:00:03,241 --> 00:00:06,068 ["Blurred Lines" playing in Spanish] 2 00:00:06,137 --> 00:00:13,206 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,931 - Normally I don't fuck with basic cable, 4 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,034 but when BET said they added a plus sign 5 00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:27,655 and were willing to pay a small fee 6 00:00:27,724 --> 00:00:30,275 to get the guys back together, I said, "Count me in." 7 00:00:30,344 --> 00:00:33,103 So today I invited a few of my closest amigos 8 00:00:33,172 --> 00:00:36,241 to my villa in Mexico to celebrate my big announcement. 9 00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:37,689 I'm gonna be the first celebrity 10 00:00:37,758 --> 00:00:40,000 in the history of celebrities to go to space. 11 00:00:40,068 --> 00:00:41,310 That's right, people, 12 00:00:41,379 --> 00:00:42,655 Captain Kirk ain't got shit on me. 13 00:00:42,724 --> 00:00:45,068 ♪ ♪ 14 00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:47,758 That's right, we're back, Mitches. 15 00:00:47,827 --> 00:00:50,413 [laughs] 16 00:00:50,482 --> 00:00:52,241 Speaking of white men that you thought were dead. 17 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:53,896 Since the last time you saw him, 18 00:00:53,965 --> 00:00:56,448 Robin switched from R&B to Espan-soul 19 00:00:56,517 --> 00:00:58,551 and Twitternegro wasn't happy about it. 20 00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:00,689 And I think he's still paying off that lawsuit 21 00:01:00,758 --> 00:01:02,275 for stealing that Marvin Gaye song. 22 00:01:02,344 --> 00:01:04,931 - Well, yeah, that's why I only sing it in Mexico, 23 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,620 'cause the fine's a lot cheaper when you pay it in pesos. 24 00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:10,275 [cheering] - Push, push. 25 00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:13,379 - [grunting] 26 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,068 Hey, you better make sure you get this on ChatSnap. 27 00:01:16,137 --> 00:01:19,758 [grunting] - 100. 28 00:01:19,827 --> 00:01:21,793 - And look at this German jackass. 29 00:01:21,862 --> 00:01:23,724 He's damn near 50 and still trying 30 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,724 to prove he's a young Hollywood hunk. 31 00:01:25,793 --> 00:01:27,931 He's been traumatized ever since Peacock offered him 32 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,758 the role of Uncle Phil in "The Fresh Prince" reboot. 33 00:01:30,827 --> 00:01:33,137 - Stop it, stop it. 34 00:01:33,206 --> 00:01:35,275 - Shame on these racists monstrosities 35 00:01:35,344 --> 00:01:38,000 in which you do refer to as a physician. 36 00:01:38,068 --> 00:01:39,827 I demanded to never, ever birth 37 00:01:39,896 --> 00:01:42,206 any more of my children in white sheets. 38 00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:43,482 Now let's get to it. 39 00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:45,793 All right, I take care of all of 40 00:01:45,862 --> 00:01:49,551 my black, mixed, and racially ambiguous goddesses myself. 41 00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:50,758 - [groaning] 42 00:01:50,827 --> 00:01:52,413 - All right, coalitions of Cannons, 43 00:01:52,482 --> 00:01:56,241 we all we got. COC, NCredible Malik, 44 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:58,000 I need some brother oven mitts. 45 00:01:58,068 --> 00:01:59,482 - [groaning] 46 00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:02,482 - Some Black barbeque tongs. 47 00:02:03,965 --> 00:02:06,517 Whoo! It's incredible. 48 00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:09,241 - [groaning] - Okay, you ready to push? 49 00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:11,172 - [groaning] - I'm daddy. 50 00:02:11,241 --> 00:02:13,103 [screams] Whoa. - [baby cries] 51 00:02:13,172 --> 00:02:16,758 - Oh, a little beige, you still a king. 52 00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:19,379 Matter of fact, we gonna call you 53 00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:21,758 King Unbreakable Meditation, 54 00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:23,448 aka KUM. 55 00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:24,862 - And what can I say about Nick 56 00:02:24,931 --> 00:02:26,793 that The Shade Room hasn't already said? 57 00:02:26,862 --> 00:02:29,448 I mean, after almost being cancelled last year, 58 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,310 he's gone from seeing "Black Panther" 59 00:02:31,379 --> 00:02:32,896 to becoming one. - [baby cries] 60 00:02:32,965 --> 00:02:35,137 - And I'm convinced, Nick wears those damn turbans 61 00:02:35,206 --> 00:02:37,551 to keep what little brain he has from falling out his head. 62 00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:39,931 - You gonna-- - I'm good. 63 00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:44,620 - Oh, hey, Nelly, this is my friend, Roland. 64 00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:45,931 - Did he just come out the bathroom-- 65 00:02:47,172 --> 00:02:49,000 both: What's up? 66 00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:50,137 - You all right? - Yeah. 67 00:02:50,206 --> 00:02:51,206 - Blow it up. 68 00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:52,310 Hey, baby, do me a favor. 69 00:02:52,379 --> 00:02:54,206 - Oh, okay. 70 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,344 - And as you can see, my lawyer Trina 71 00:02:56,413 --> 00:02:58,275 doesn't always make good decisions. 72 00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:01,379 She passed the bar and then she lowered it. 73 00:03:05,689 --> 00:03:07,448 Okay, T, I guess I see you. 74 00:03:07,517 --> 00:03:09,413 - Yeah, after things didn't work out with Wayne, 75 00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,551 I decided I'd try something a little different. 76 00:03:12,965 --> 00:03:13,862 - Yeah. - Different. 77 00:03:13,931 --> 00:03:15,172 - Yeah, definitely different. 78 00:03:15,241 --> 00:03:17,379 Comedian to comical, that's... 79 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:19,000 - Well, I see I'm not the only one, 80 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:21,241 unless you started a new line of purses. 81 00:03:21,310 --> 00:03:23,172 - Uh... - You just got a third ball. 82 00:03:23,241 --> 00:03:24,689 I know that. - Actually, well, no. 83 00:03:24,758 --> 00:03:26,344 As a matter of fact... - Definitely carrying it. 84 00:03:26,413 --> 00:03:28,206 - I'm waiting. Hey, sweetie. 85 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,206 Look at you. - Hey, Trina. 86 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:30,931 - Hey, Angela. 87 00:03:32,275 --> 00:03:34,034 I see you. - You see me? 88 00:03:34,103 --> 00:03:37,103 - I guess you and Nelly had more in Common. 89 00:03:37,896 --> 00:03:40,034 - She ready for my little Nelly belly. 90 00:03:40,103 --> 00:03:41,724 - Nelly belly? - Yeah. 91 00:03:41,793 --> 00:03:43,379 Check that out. 92 00:03:43,448 --> 00:03:44,724 - On the flip side, Nelly went from Country Grammar 93 00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,379 to proper grammar after hooking up 94 00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:48,379 with the woman who's actually read more 95 00:03:48,448 --> 00:03:49,827 than the police report she filed. 96 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,310 - I see you. 97 00:03:51,379 --> 00:03:52,862 You putting on a little happy weight, too. 98 00:03:52,931 --> 00:03:54,068 - Uh, I'm trying. 99 00:03:54,137 --> 00:03:55,655 - Yeah, you got your little Nelly belly. 100 00:03:55,724 --> 00:03:57,241 - But if he wants this relationship not to go awry, 101 00:03:57,310 --> 00:03:58,724 he better learn more than 102 00:03:58,793 --> 00:04:02,344 E-I-E-I or he will be saying "Uh-oh." 103 00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:04,241 - Well, Trina, good to see you. - Yeah. 104 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,000 Good to see you. - Cheers. 105 00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:09,344 - What? What? 106 00:04:09,413 --> 00:04:11,413 - To new things. - Let's go over here. 107 00:04:11,482 --> 00:04:14,310 - That's--bye, Tri-- - Goodbye. 108 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,931 Have a good day. Enjoy the party. 109 00:04:26,413 --> 00:04:28,620 - [groaning] 110 00:04:28,689 --> 00:04:32,241 Whoo! What's up, party people? 111 00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:34,310 Whoo! 112 00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:37,482 I dig holes. 113 00:04:37,551 --> 00:04:40,172 ♪ I dig holes ♪ 114 00:04:40,241 --> 00:04:42,517 And you thought El Chapo was the only one with a bunker? 115 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,103 Hey, my bunker got a-a pantry, 116 00:04:45,172 --> 00:04:46,413 a housekeeper... 117 00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:48,137 [chuckles] And a gardener. 118 00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:49,689 Hey, can you dig it? 119 00:04:49,758 --> 00:04:52,482 Huh? Can you dig it? 120 00:04:52,551 --> 00:04:56,655 Can you dig it? 121 00:04:56,724 --> 00:04:58,310 - And then there's JB. 122 00:04:58,379 --> 00:04:59,862 Ever since the pandemic, 123 00:04:59,931 --> 00:05:02,103 all he can talk about is the coming apocalypse. 124 00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:04,034 Hell, I didn't know alpacas had lips. 125 00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:05,517 - [gasp] - But I do know, 126 00:05:05,586 --> 00:05:07,000 JB's the only known human... - What's going down? 127 00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:09,620 - To get all the COVID vaccines in both arms. 128 00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:11,034 - Where the drinks at? 129 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,793 You goddamn right, and I been drinking bleach. 130 00:05:13,862 --> 00:05:16,034 I'm about to kick COVID in the ass. 131 00:05:16,103 --> 00:05:21,413 ♪ ♪ 132 00:05:21,482 --> 00:05:23,068 [gargles] 133 00:05:23,137 --> 00:05:24,344 ♪ ♪ 134 00:05:24,413 --> 00:05:25,655 - And me? 135 00:05:25,724 --> 00:05:27,517 Well, it's been a crazy few years. 136 00:05:27,586 --> 00:05:29,448 I stepped down from the Oscars, 137 00:05:29,517 --> 00:05:30,758 I was in a car wreck, 138 00:05:30,827 --> 00:05:32,965 and I nearly wrecked my life, 139 00:05:33,034 --> 00:05:36,172 but even after all that, I got my beautiful wife... 140 00:05:36,241 --> 00:05:37,586 ♪ ♪ 141 00:05:37,655 --> 00:05:39,448 Two more beautiful kids, 142 00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:41,172 and I'm the biggest star in Hollywood. 143 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,172 ♪ ♪ 144 00:05:43,241 --> 00:05:44,689 - ♪ Jump in that ♪ 145 00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:47,172 ♪ Some in that bitch jump in that ♪ 146 00:05:47,241 --> 00:05:49,482 ♪ Jump in that fire ♪ 147 00:05:49,551 --> 00:05:51,448 - Uh, hey. 148 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,034 Can I get everybody's attention please? 149 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,689 Stop what you're doing. 150 00:05:54,758 --> 00:05:56,724 I don't want to ask you twice. Thank you. 151 00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:59,241 I just want to take the time 152 00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:02,482 to truly celebrate myself. 153 00:06:02,551 --> 00:06:05,034 This is a moment to thank Kevin 154 00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:07,724 'cause Kevin flew all of you out here and for what? 155 00:06:07,793 --> 00:06:09,379 For you guys to celebrate me. 156 00:06:09,448 --> 00:06:10,862 And I know in this moment, 157 00:06:10,931 --> 00:06:12,655 if you had the mic, you would be saying stuff about me. 158 00:06:12,724 --> 00:06:15,586 But you don't, so I'm saying it for you. 159 00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:17,379 I hope that made sense for everybody. 160 00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:19,758 Honey, this is the time for you to kind of celebrate me too. 161 00:06:19,827 --> 00:06:20,931 You want to say something? 162 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,448 - No, Kevin. I think you said it all. 163 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,517 - Nice, nice. You see that? 164 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,758 That's why--that's why we in love. 165 00:06:27,827 --> 00:06:28,965 Girl, if you ain't have those heels on, 166 00:06:29,034 --> 00:06:30,413 I'd kiss you in the mouth. - [laughs] 167 00:06:30,482 --> 00:06:32,827 - Uh, okay. I want to--I want to--I want to do a toast. 168 00:06:32,896 --> 00:06:35,172 So, everybody, let's get a champagne glass. 169 00:06:35,241 --> 00:06:36,448 Let's put some champagne in it. 170 00:06:36,517 --> 00:06:38,620 Where's--where's the waiter? God damn it. 171 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,000 You don't have glasses. Okay. 172 00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:42,862 Uh, we got a waiter? Where's the waiter? 173 00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,689 Yo, what the hell you doing in the house? 174 00:06:45,758 --> 00:06:47,517 - What? - What you mean, "What?" 175 00:06:47,586 --> 00:06:48,896 I said the whole house. 176 00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:51,586 After his divorce, Duane fell on hard times 177 00:06:51,655 --> 00:06:53,344 and landed head first in bankruptcy. 178 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,448 He went from waiting on acting jobs to waiting tables. 179 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,103 - Hey, shit happens. It's Hollywood. 180 00:06:59,172 --> 00:07:01,655 Now some people may have too much pride to be a waiter, 181 00:07:01,724 --> 00:07:04,965 but not me 'cause I'm networking. 182 00:07:05,034 --> 00:07:08,068 Y'all remember breakaway suits? Huh? 183 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:11,586 ♪ ♪ 184 00:07:11,655 --> 00:07:12,896 Coming to restaurants near you. 185 00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:14,103 - You're not doing a damn thing 186 00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,655 but sitting here running your mouth. 187 00:07:15,724 --> 00:07:17,482 Get out there and pop some bottles. 188 00:07:18,965 --> 00:07:21,551 - Anybody thirsty from licking Kevin's salty balls? 189 00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:23,137 - Jesus Christ, I bet if Will called you, 190 00:07:23,206 --> 00:07:24,724 you would've been out here on a goddamn dime. 191 00:07:24,793 --> 00:07:26,379 Okay, everybody, raise your glasses up high. 192 00:07:26,448 --> 00:07:28,724 - Hold, hold, hold up, Kevin. Hold up, Kevin. 193 00:07:28,793 --> 00:07:30,379 Before you get to that, uh, 194 00:07:30,448 --> 00:07:32,137 there's something I need to say. 195 00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:33,517 Excuse me. 196 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,206 Excuse me. - Oh, what? 197 00:07:35,275 --> 00:07:36,758 - [laughs] 198 00:07:38,413 --> 00:07:41,275 - You want to go sing a song? 'Cause I'm not paying for it. 199 00:07:41,344 --> 00:07:43,448 We talked about that. You better not do a song. 200 00:07:43,517 --> 00:07:44,896 It's not in the budget. 201 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,413 I've seen this move before. All the artists do it. 202 00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:49,275 Try to strong arm the promoters. 203 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,689 - Uh, babe, can you come here for a minute? 204 00:07:51,758 --> 00:07:54,517 Thank you so much. 205 00:07:54,586 --> 00:07:56,448 Look at you. Thank you. 206 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,034 You look so beautiful. Look at you. 207 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,206 Jesus Christ. 208 00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:01,241 Uh... [clears throat] 209 00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:02,931 Babe, to put it plainly, 210 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,827 there's not another woman in this world 211 00:08:04,896 --> 00:08:08,517 that's made me feel the way that you make me feel. 212 00:08:08,586 --> 00:08:12,517 Nor use big ass words that I still don't understand 213 00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:14,896 to this day, like repro--reprobation? 214 00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:16,379 - Oh, babe, it's reparations. 215 00:08:16,448 --> 00:08:18,724 - Reparations, see? I-- 216 00:08:18,793 --> 00:08:20,172 Can your girl say "reparations," Kev? 217 00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:23,310 - Everybody can say reparations, Nelly. 218 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,827 - Well, it's just one other thing I need to say. 219 00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:28,103 - Oh. - What? 220 00:08:28,172 --> 00:08:30,689 - Oh, my God. 221 00:08:30,758 --> 00:08:32,310 Oh, my God. - Babe, 222 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:34,655 - [gasp] How sweet. 223 00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:36,551 Look, babe. - No. 224 00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:38,068 No. - What? 225 00:08:38,137 --> 00:08:40,344 - Would you correct me for the rest of our lives? 226 00:08:40,413 --> 00:08:42,068 ♪ ♪ 227 00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:43,448 [screaming] 228 00:08:43,517 --> 00:08:44,965 - Yes, baby, yes. 229 00:08:45,034 --> 00:08:47,482 - Is that--is it this one? This hand? 230 00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:49,758 This right here? You sure? - Yes. 231 00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:52,482 Yes. - I don't know. 232 00:08:52,551 --> 00:08:53,827 - That's it, that's enough of this. 233 00:08:53,896 --> 00:08:56,379 That is enough of this "Love & Hip Hop" b-story. 234 00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,793 Thank you. - Come on. 235 00:08:57,862 --> 00:08:59,137 - Thank you. - Never mind him, sweetie. 236 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,275 - Yeah, never mind me. 237 00:09:00,344 --> 00:09:01,620 Way to ruin a perfectly good moment. 238 00:09:01,689 --> 00:09:02,827 - Thank you. - Let me tell you something, 239 00:09:02,896 --> 00:09:04,344 LisaRaye with a master's degree, 240 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,931 if you think Nelly got money to pay for that ring, 241 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,241 you have lost your mind. 242 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,689 You can get the fuck out of here. 243 00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:11,137 You hear me? Get out of here with that. 244 00:09:11,206 --> 00:09:13,241 Nelly, you back on the bus slinging that shit? 245 00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:14,448 You doing it again? 246 00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:15,793 You don't learn your lessons 247 00:09:15,862 --> 00:09:17,103 and you're not going to do it on my foundation. 248 00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:18,793 Hello? 249 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,724 Back to the regular scheduled program. 250 00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:23,758 Okay, all right, everybody, 251 00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:26,172 let's get back to what we should be focused on, 252 00:09:26,241 --> 00:09:29,241 which is me. We're celebrating me. 253 00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:32,206 So right now, please, 254 00:09:32,275 --> 00:09:34,206 take your attention to these monitors. 255 00:09:34,275 --> 00:09:36,000 I got a real good friend of mine 256 00:09:36,068 --> 00:09:38,793 who's living life the right way. 257 00:09:38,862 --> 00:09:40,172 You know what I'm talking about, Nelly. 258 00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:42,379 Listen to what he has to say. It's about me. 259 00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:46,034 - Hi, I'm Mark Cuban. 260 00:09:46,103 --> 00:09:47,965 Me and my partners here at Space Y 261 00:09:48,034 --> 00:09:51,103 are so excited to announce the very first celebrity 262 00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:53,482 to voyage into outer space. 263 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,241 Now I thought that would be my favorite star, Kevin Hart. 264 00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:59,689 However, 'cause everybody else in the world wanted The Rock, 265 00:09:59,758 --> 00:10:01,827 we've decided to have a run-off. 266 00:10:04,655 --> 00:10:06,827 - What did he say? 267 00:10:06,896 --> 00:10:09,172 What did he say? What did he say? 268 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:10,827 Who did he say? 269 00:10:10,896 --> 00:10:12,310 - He said The Rock. - The Rock? 270 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,620 - And because you're both already huge stars-- 271 00:10:15,689 --> 00:10:16,931 all right, maybe one of you is 272 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,862 a little bigger than the other? 273 00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:21,172 This contest will prove 274 00:10:21,241 --> 00:10:23,862 which one of you is the real humanitarian. 275 00:10:23,931 --> 00:10:27,172 So whoever spends the most time 276 00:10:27,241 --> 00:10:31,310 and raises the most money for the charity of your choice 277 00:10:31,379 --> 00:10:33,413 will get the final seat 278 00:10:33,482 --> 00:10:38,793 on our inaugural Space Y civilian mission. 279 00:10:38,862 --> 00:10:40,896 You've got 30 days. 280 00:10:40,965 --> 00:10:44,689 Good luck and may the man with the biggest heart win. 281 00:10:44,758 --> 00:10:46,034 - Biggest heart? 282 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,000 I don't give a damn about no charity. 283 00:10:48,068 --> 00:10:49,724 I'm trying to get to space. 284 00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:51,551 This is bullshit. 285 00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,793 It's bullshit. 286 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,965 - Pookie, it's okay. You got this. 287 00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:57,482 If anyone can beat The Rock, it's you. 288 00:10:57,551 --> 00:10:58,620 Come on. 289 00:10:58,689 --> 00:11:00,068 And besides, he's so busy. 290 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,482 He ain't thinking about no space. 291 00:11:01,551 --> 00:11:03,103 [phone rings] - Hold on. 292 00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:05,413 Who's this? [phone chimes] 293 00:11:05,482 --> 00:11:07,275 You son of a... 294 00:11:07,344 --> 00:11:09,344 [groans] 295 00:11:09,413 --> 00:11:11,517 Honey, press the eject button on the back of it. 296 00:11:11,586 --> 00:11:13,068 Press the eject button. 297 00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:14,517 [screams] 298 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:18,896 ♪ ♪ 299 00:11:18,965 --> 00:11:20,896 - Okay, guys, the game is five card draw. 300 00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:22,862 Kevin and JB, your ante? 301 00:11:22,931 --> 00:11:24,620 - Guys, you have any idea how mad I am? 302 00:11:24,689 --> 00:11:25,965 Did you hear what Mark Cuban said? 303 00:11:26,034 --> 00:11:27,448 I'm pissed about it. Really. 304 00:11:27,517 --> 00:11:28,896 - What's wrong, Kevin? 305 00:11:28,965 --> 00:11:30,034 You mad 'cause you got to raise money for charity? 306 00:11:30,103 --> 00:11:31,896 - No, I paid for all those flights. 307 00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:33,206 I can't get that money back. 308 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,448 - Well, you can kiss space goodnight then, 309 00:11:35,517 --> 00:11:37,448 'cause you definitely not a humanitarian. 310 00:11:37,517 --> 00:11:39,448 [laughs] - Oh, no shit, boys. 311 00:11:39,517 --> 00:11:42,689 Nobody's humanitarians anymore. Everybody went plant-based. 312 00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,620 Don't know nothing. - Wow. 313 00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,724 Kevin, you really got a little heart in that little Hart. 314 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:47,931 Here, take two. 315 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,413 - Hey, what you got to do is this. 316 00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:50,965 Don't worry about what the hell everybody else is saying. 317 00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:52,862 You just win this damn thing 318 00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:54,448 and take your Black ass to space. 319 00:11:54,517 --> 00:11:56,586 There's room for two Yodas. 320 00:11:56,655 --> 00:11:58,379 - You know what, JB? 321 00:11:58,448 --> 00:12:00,551 For the first time, you are absolutely right. 322 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,413 He gets me. - What? 323 00:12:02,482 --> 00:12:03,620 - You know what, man? 324 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,551 I don't want to be forgotten like y'all. 325 00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:06,896 Right? - Wow. 326 00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:08,482 - Like--no, no, like, seriously. 327 00:12:08,551 --> 00:12:10,275 I want to be remembered. 328 00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:12,275 I want to--I want to have a statue 329 00:12:12,344 --> 00:12:13,931 of my own that people can look at. 330 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,586 - A statue of yourself? - Yes. 331 00:12:16,655 --> 00:12:18,000 - Yeah, like a hood ornament? 332 00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:20,551 - Oh, that's great. Fuck you, Boris. 333 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:21,827 I'm being serious. - Mm-hmm. 334 00:12:21,896 --> 00:12:23,000 Okay. - What I do with this? 335 00:12:23,068 --> 00:12:24,310 - JB, you got to give me two cards. 336 00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:25,793 What the fuck? You cheating. - What you doing? 337 00:12:25,862 --> 00:12:27,413 - Let me--let me count. Let me count my cards first. 338 00:12:27,482 --> 00:12:30,655 - You can't see which two you want to get rid of before... 339 00:12:30,724 --> 00:12:32,103 The shit is this? 340 00:12:32,172 --> 00:12:33,275 - That's definitely not--that's not the rules. 341 00:12:33,344 --> 00:12:34,448 - [sighs] 342 00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:35,586 - Kevin, here's what you got to do. 343 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,275 You got to take somebody with you 344 00:12:37,344 --> 00:12:39,206 who have some knowledge, who's wise. 345 00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:41,310 All the space movies out there, 346 00:12:41,379 --> 00:12:42,931 who knows what the hell they doing? 347 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,379 You need to take me with you. 348 00:12:44,448 --> 00:12:46,551 - Did you not hear what Mark Cuban said? 349 00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:48,310 He said celebrity. 350 00:12:48,379 --> 00:12:49,551 - I'm a celebrity. 351 00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:50,896 I'm a celebrity. - You are not a celebrity. 352 00:12:50,965 --> 00:12:52,344 - I'm a celebrity. - You are not a celebrity. 353 00:12:52,413 --> 00:12:53,551 - I'm a celebrity. 354 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,793 How you tell me I'm not a celebrity? 355 00:12:54,862 --> 00:12:56,103 - I can tell you-- - I have celebrity stuff 356 00:12:56,172 --> 00:12:57,310 happen to me every day. - Tell me one thing. 357 00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:58,724 Tell me one thing. - I'm in a urinal. 358 00:12:58,793 --> 00:13:00,965 I'm--I'm peeing in a urinal, dude next to me say, 359 00:13:01,034 --> 00:13:04,206 "Hey, man, I know you. What's going down, JB?" 360 00:13:04,275 --> 00:13:06,413 - All right, does that make him a celebrity? 361 00:13:06,482 --> 00:13:09,275 Or does that make somebody next to you a dick watcher? 362 00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:10,586 - Yeah, pervert. - That's what-- 363 00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:12,275 - He looking at my dick. He looking at my dick. 364 00:13:12,344 --> 00:13:15,000 - Listen, you guys have no idea what I have planned. 365 00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:17,172 All right, my last special--my last special 366 00:13:17,241 --> 00:13:19,000 was called "Zero Fucks Given." - [groans] 367 00:13:19,068 --> 00:13:20,482 - So I said, "What am I going to do next?" 368 00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:22,206 This was my next. 369 00:13:22,275 --> 00:13:24,482 My next special was going to be called "Zero Gravity Given." 370 00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:25,758 - Are you serious? 371 00:13:25,827 --> 00:13:26,931 - What do you mean, am I serious? 372 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,862 - That's terrible. - Zero gravity? 373 00:13:28,931 --> 00:13:30,379 - Horrible. - Me doing my special 374 00:13:30,448 --> 00:13:32,655 in space is terrible? Are you kidding me right now? 375 00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:33,758 - In space, awful. 376 00:13:33,827 --> 00:13:35,379 - No, no, I've seen all the movies. 377 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:38,241 You gonna hold the microphone and your ass gonna float away. 378 00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:39,413 You're gonna float away. - I'm not-- 379 00:13:39,482 --> 00:13:40,586 I'm not gonna float away. 380 00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:41,931 - You and everybody gonna float away. 381 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,068 All the chairs, the people... - I have magnets. 382 00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:45,896 - All the drinks, everything gonna float away. 383 00:13:45,965 --> 00:13:47,482 - Honestly, you guys aren't creative. 384 00:13:47,551 --> 00:13:50,172 You see what Chapelle is doing out there in the corn fields? 385 00:13:50,241 --> 00:13:51,896 God knows how long he's been doing that. 386 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,379 I got to--I got to think of something new. 387 00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:55,068 And where the hell is Nick at? 388 00:13:55,137 --> 00:13:57,413 He's got me watching his fucking baby all night. 389 00:13:57,482 --> 00:13:58,965 Him and Robin been gone for long. 390 00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:03,379 - Well, they went down to LA to film "The Costumed Star." 391 00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:05,206 - Well, I guess I can't be mad at that. 392 00:14:05,275 --> 00:14:07,034 At least I got two friends that are working. 393 00:14:07,103 --> 00:14:09,517 - What--what? I'm working, man. 394 00:14:09,586 --> 00:14:10,655 - What you talking about working? 395 00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:12,482 We all working, man. We all got jobs. 396 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:13,758 - I be--I be back. 397 00:14:13,827 --> 00:14:15,482 Talking to you guys. - Are we not gonna play? 398 00:14:15,551 --> 00:14:16,862 - I--I don't know anymore. - [baby cries] 399 00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:18,241 - He just gonna walk away. - Ain't got no damn job. 400 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:20,517 I--I got way it happen. - Take the baby! 401 00:14:20,586 --> 00:14:21,689 - Is he really watching Nick's kid? 402 00:14:21,758 --> 00:14:23,655 - There's a baby here. 403 00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:25,172 - Hey, boys, you want a little something? 404 00:14:25,241 --> 00:14:27,482 Shaun and I been growing 405 00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:29,931 these hydroponic vegetables at the house. 406 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,172 They--they're amazing. 407 00:14:32,241 --> 00:14:34,586 You know, I'm getting younger as I eat them. 408 00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:36,862 Ask me how young I am? 409 00:14:36,931 --> 00:14:38,551 - How old are you, JB? 410 00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,206 - 42. 411 00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:43,448 Ask me again. - Ask him. 412 00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:45,413 - How old are you, JB? - 28. 413 00:14:45,482 --> 00:14:47,206 Hmm? Huh? 414 00:14:47,275 --> 00:14:49,000 This is nature's Botox right here. 415 00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:52,034 - [clears throat] Baby. - Hmm? 416 00:14:52,103 --> 00:14:53,724 - If I had this house... - Mm-hmm. 417 00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,655 - I'd knock that wall down 418 00:14:55,724 --> 00:14:58,517 and open this room up and put an indoor tennis court in here. 419 00:14:58,586 --> 00:15:01,241 You know what I mean? You know what, baby? 420 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,551 I should go play poker with the fellas. 421 00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:08,241 Yeah. - Ooh, yeah, no, it's just that 422 00:15:08,310 --> 00:15:11,137 I think that's a really high stakes game. 423 00:15:11,206 --> 00:15:12,931 - High stakes? No, that's cool, baby. 424 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,620 I only mess with nothing but high rollers. 425 00:15:14,689 --> 00:15:16,275 [chuckles] 426 00:15:16,344 --> 00:15:18,965 Including you. - [laughs] 427 00:15:19,034 --> 00:15:20,931 - Now if you don't mind, 428 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,448 spot me a couple hundred 429 00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:25,206 and I'll get it back to you when I get this stimulus. 430 00:15:25,275 --> 00:15:27,586 - Oh, you're going to pay me back with some stimulus. 431 00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:30,275 - I definitely plan to do that. 432 00:15:30,344 --> 00:15:31,551 - Okay, here you go. 433 00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:33,206 - Pay you back, Jesus. - I got you. 434 00:15:33,275 --> 00:15:36,068 - Look what the Lord sent me. I'll be right back. 435 00:15:37,689 --> 00:15:40,068 - I know you are probably wondering, 436 00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:42,448 why would I put up with someone like that? 437 00:15:42,517 --> 00:15:45,862 But, actually, I see a lot of potential with Roland. 438 00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:47,413 I mean, and he's a contractor. 439 00:15:47,482 --> 00:15:49,034 So he's very handy around the house. 440 00:15:49,103 --> 00:15:50,551 Plus I put up with Kevin. 441 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,310 I mean, this is nothing. 442 00:15:52,379 --> 00:15:55,103 And unlike Kevin, he actually makes me laugh. 443 00:15:55,172 --> 00:15:56,551 Did you see his last special? 444 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:57,758 - Hey. - Hey. 445 00:15:57,827 --> 00:15:59,448 - I got a question for you. - Mm-hmm. 446 00:15:59,517 --> 00:16:01,172 - First of all, that's going to hit you in about three seconds. 447 00:16:01,241 --> 00:16:02,931 I broke wind back there and it's behind me. 448 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,620 - Great. - Listen to me, um, 449 00:16:05,689 --> 00:16:08,000 if I were to go to Mars, right? - Mm-hmm. 450 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,758 - And I get there and I got my Hartbeat flag on me. 451 00:16:10,827 --> 00:16:12,931 And I plant my flag in that planet, 452 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,482 that's technically my planet, right? 453 00:16:16,413 --> 00:16:17,586 - Yeah. 454 00:16:17,655 --> 00:16:19,310 Yeah, you would just have to sign some-- 455 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,241 sign some federation papers with 456 00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:22,689 the Guardians of the Galaxy, 457 00:16:22,758 --> 00:16:25,517 you know, 'cause the Empire might strike back. 458 00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:29,344 Just a little hiccup with the regulation C-3PO. 459 00:16:29,413 --> 00:16:31,000 It's--you know what? 460 00:16:31,068 --> 00:16:32,448 Let me just hologram you the documents. 461 00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:33,586 - Do that. - Yeah. 462 00:16:33,655 --> 00:16:34,896 - Get them to me as soon as you can. 463 00:16:34,965 --> 00:16:36,448 Do your due diligence. 464 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:37,793 Also know, just for you to have a better understanding, 465 00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:39,448 I don't want to put a guardian in my galaxy. 466 00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:40,862 I'm not trying to do landscaping. 467 00:16:40,931 --> 00:16:42,448 - No problem. I am not in charge of that. 468 00:16:42,517 --> 00:16:44,000 - This is why I keep you on "waist trainer," 469 00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:46,103 'cause you sharp. Don't change. 470 00:16:48,172 --> 00:16:50,517 - You mean a retainer. 471 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,965 - Baby, want this? 472 00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:55,206 - JB, he ain't got no teeth. - He not gonna eat. 473 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,689 - What up, fellas? 474 00:16:56,758 --> 00:16:59,344 - Hey, hey, what up, bruh? - How much is the buy-in? 475 00:16:59,413 --> 00:17:00,758 - Oh, man, just a friendly game. 476 00:17:00,827 --> 00:17:02,655 We ain't trying to hurt nobody. 1K. 477 00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:05,379 - One, oh, thou-wow. - [baby coos] 478 00:17:05,448 --> 00:17:08,068 - Yeah. - Yeah. 479 00:17:13,344 --> 00:17:15,103 - He just took my cigar. 480 00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:17,965 - Trina! 481 00:17:18,034 --> 00:17:20,344 - Hey, you took my cigar. 482 00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:21,931 Yo! 483 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,413 - Did one of you all spray Axe body spray on Nick's baby? 484 00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:24,586 - No. - What? 485 00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:25,862 - What is that smell? I smell Axe. 486 00:17:25,931 --> 00:17:27,655 It's like a bunch of Goddamn body spray. 487 00:17:27,724 --> 00:17:28,758 - Oh, it just left. 488 00:17:28,827 --> 00:17:30,827 - Guys, I'm not going to be able 489 00:17:30,896 --> 00:17:33,172 to get to space if I don't win this little competition. 490 00:17:33,241 --> 00:17:34,517 That's the bottom line. 491 00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:37,793 Humbly, humbly... 492 00:17:37,862 --> 00:17:39,517 I'm asking for my guys help. 493 00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:41,862 - [scoffs] - [laughs] 494 00:17:41,931 --> 00:17:44,586 - Well--well, look, Kevin, you may not get to space, 495 00:17:44,655 --> 00:17:47,586 but you my man's and I got something for you. 496 00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,310 I want you to be my best man. 497 00:17:49,379 --> 00:17:52,206 ♪ ♪ 498 00:17:52,275 --> 00:17:54,448 - Whoo! - [laughs] 499 00:17:54,517 --> 00:17:56,172 - What? 500 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:57,827 - Yeah, man. - I don't know what to say. 501 00:17:57,896 --> 00:17:59,310 - I want you to be my best man. - That's cool. 502 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:00,620 - Come on, come on, guys. - That's good. 503 00:18:00,689 --> 00:18:01,931 - Stop it, man. - I mean, that's an honor. 504 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,862 That's big, man. - Come on, Nelly. 505 00:18:03,931 --> 00:18:06,310 - What do you mean? I mean, what can I say? 506 00:18:06,379 --> 00:18:07,896 - That's a good choice. - What can I say? 507 00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:10,310 - That's amazing. - What can't you say? 508 00:18:10,379 --> 00:18:11,931 - Give me a second. Just give me a second. 509 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,103 - That's great. 510 00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:15,172 - Who the fuck does he think I am? 511 00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:18,034 Taye Diggs? His best man? 512 00:18:18,103 --> 00:18:20,172 Hell no. There's no way. 513 00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:21,655 But what I will do is lie. 514 00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:23,931 I'll tell him what he want to hear and guess what? 515 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,172 By the time he figure out that I'm not telling the truth, 516 00:18:26,241 --> 00:18:30,241 I'll be in space on tour. [laughs] 517 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,793 - Nigga, I'm right here. 518 00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:35,310 ♪ ♪ 519 00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:37,551 - Well, I thought I was in a confessional booth. 520 00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:40,931 So this just got weird. 521 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,034 - Wow. [sighs] 522 00:18:44,103 --> 00:18:45,482 - Jesus. - Guys, 523 00:18:45,551 --> 00:18:47,482 why--why can't you just give me a better solution? 524 00:18:47,551 --> 00:18:48,758 Hmm? 525 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,344 How do--how do I do this charity shit? 526 00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:51,793 I don't even know the first thing about it. 527 00:18:51,862 --> 00:18:55,724 How do I go in-- in the direction of--of serving-- 528 00:18:55,793 --> 00:18:57,896 serving myself up to win? I don't know. 529 00:18:57,965 --> 00:18:59,482 - All right, what you need to do is link up 530 00:18:59,551 --> 00:19:02,482 with a big organization, a big 501C3. 531 00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:04,413 All right? Like Feed the Children, 532 00:19:04,482 --> 00:19:06,931 Boys and Girls Club, Girls Scouts. 533 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,241 - No. - You know? 534 00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:10,586 People your size. - Don't listen to Boris. 535 00:19:10,655 --> 00:19:11,862 Last time I listened to Boris, 536 00:19:11,931 --> 00:19:14,103 I was marching for German Lives Matter. 537 00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:17,206 - Well, they matter. 538 00:19:17,275 --> 00:19:18,758 - I can't do that. 539 00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:22,275 Great attempt at helping me, but once again, Boris, 540 00:19:22,344 --> 00:19:24,793 I work. I don't have the time. 541 00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:27,000 Okay? It--it's only one of me. 542 00:19:27,068 --> 00:19:29,586 It's only one of me. What don't you understand? 543 00:19:29,655 --> 00:19:30,655 - What, what, what, wait, wait, wait. 544 00:19:30,724 --> 00:19:32,413 We--we all work. - We all work. 545 00:19:32,482 --> 00:19:33,689 - We all work. - We all work. 546 00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:36,137 - I got jobs. I "Curb Your Enthusiasm." 547 00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:37,724 I got "The Last O.G." 548 00:19:37,793 --> 00:19:40,068 Don't mean--I don't want to even bring up "Spider-Man." 549 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,517 "Spider-Man." - Wait-- 550 00:19:41,586 --> 00:19:42,758 He's number one in the country. - You're a temp. 551 00:19:42,827 --> 00:19:44,103 - In the country rankings. - Temp work. 552 00:19:44,172 --> 00:19:45,413 - What is it called? - That ain't temp work. 553 00:19:45,482 --> 00:19:46,896 - That's temp work. - That's not temp work. 554 00:19:46,965 --> 00:19:48,172 - That's temp work. - That's real jobs right there. 555 00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:49,793 - No, no, you get a call and you know what you do? 556 00:19:49,862 --> 00:19:51,413 You go, "All right, I'll do this for a little bit." 557 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:52,965 And then that's it. - When "Spider-Man" calls you, 558 00:19:53,034 --> 00:19:56,034 that's not a simple job. When "Spider-Man" calls you... 559 00:19:56,103 --> 00:19:57,620 - It's temp work. 560 00:19:57,689 --> 00:20:00,517 I'm talking about work that--I'm talking about this-- 561 00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:02,896 I'm doing this much work. You doing this much. 562 00:20:02,965 --> 00:20:04,344 - "Spider-Man" calls you. - I'm doing this much. 563 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:05,620 - What you talking about? - I'm doing this much. 564 00:20:05,689 --> 00:20:06,862 This what I'm doing. - No, no,no. 565 00:20:06,931 --> 00:20:08,206 - I'm doing this much. - No, no, no. 566 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,517 - That's what I'm doing. - I don't want to hear it. 567 00:20:09,586 --> 00:20:11,413 Boris, I want to hear it from Boris. 568 00:20:11,482 --> 00:20:13,310 See, it's this much. - No, you're not. 569 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:14,482 - Back up, Boris. 570 00:20:14,551 --> 00:20:15,965 - Okay, what are we talking about here? 571 00:20:16,034 --> 00:20:17,413 - No, you're this much. - It's this much! 572 00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:18,724 No, no, no. - You're this much. 573 00:20:18,793 --> 00:20:20,206 You're this much. - No, you this much. 574 00:20:20,275 --> 00:20:21,448 - No, you're this much. 575 00:20:21,517 --> 00:20:22,517 I'm this much. - No, you're this much. 576 00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:24,241 I'm this much. You're this much. 577 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,344 - No, I'm this much. - No, no, no. 578 00:20:26,413 --> 00:20:27,586 - I'm this much. - No, no, no. 579 00:20:27,655 --> 00:20:28,793 - I work this much. - I'm this much. 580 00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:30,103 - I work this much. 581 00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:32,034 - My arm will go back and-- - I'm a brand. 582 00:20:32,103 --> 00:20:34,724 - I will cut my hands with the back of my hand like clap. 583 00:20:34,793 --> 00:20:36,172 - I'm a brand. 584 00:20:36,241 --> 00:20:37,724 Do I--you know what? You know what? 585 00:20:37,793 --> 00:20:40,689 Okay, you guys asked for it, let's run down Kevin's list. 586 00:20:40,758 --> 00:20:43,482 - Oh, shit. - No, no, no, you wanted it. 587 00:20:43,551 --> 00:20:45,482 You wanted it so I'm gonna give it to you. 588 00:20:45,551 --> 00:20:47,448 Right now, well, who's got 589 00:20:47,517 --> 00:20:48,965 a potential Oscar winner on their hands? 590 00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:50,655 - Oscar winner? - Raise--raise your hand. 591 00:20:50,724 --> 00:20:52,655 That's me. Okay, who has a network? 592 00:20:52,724 --> 00:20:54,551 - Oscar winner? - That's me, all right. 593 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:57,448 Who's producing a drama series for Trina right now? 594 00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:58,793 That's me. Okay. 595 00:20:58,862 --> 00:21:01,517 Who--who's got to go to therapy with their wife, 596 00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:04,034 Akira, and deal with this stuff with the kids? 597 00:21:04,103 --> 00:21:05,379 That's me again. 598 00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:06,793 You want me to keep it going 'cause I can. 599 00:21:06,862 --> 00:21:08,896 Who else--I mean, I don't know, there's so much. 600 00:21:08,965 --> 00:21:10,482 I can't be in all places at once. 601 00:21:10,551 --> 00:21:11,862 I need help. - Come on, man. 602 00:21:11,931 --> 00:21:13,655 What's wrong with you? Shit, no. 603 00:21:13,724 --> 00:21:14,896 - This is not the time, Duane. 604 00:21:14,965 --> 00:21:15,965 Get your thieving ass up out of here. 605 00:21:16,034 --> 00:21:16,896 - I got a solution to your problem. 606 00:21:16,965 --> 00:21:18,241 - Uh-oh. 607 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,000 - And I think you got to get back to work. 608 00:21:20,068 --> 00:21:21,241 That's what I think. 609 00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:22,379 I don't have time for you to come in here 610 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,931 when we're trying to solve real shit. 611 00:21:27,896 --> 00:21:28,862 Now. 612 00:21:31,034 --> 00:21:33,137 - What happened? 613 00:21:33,206 --> 00:21:34,724 - Hey! The baby! 614 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,310 - There's a baby in here. - You fold. 615 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:39,448 - Fuck that baby! - [baby cries] 616 00:21:40,517 --> 00:21:42,586 [alarm rings] 617 00:21:42,655 --> 00:21:44,655 Everybody, let me have your attention please. 618 00:21:44,724 --> 00:21:46,965 I need you to get the fuck out. 619 00:21:47,034 --> 00:21:48,517 Right now. Let's go. 620 00:21:48,586 --> 00:21:49,862 - Kev, I got to get my bag. - Let's go. 621 00:21:49,931 --> 00:21:53,448 Go, go. Everybody, let's go. 622 00:21:53,517 --> 00:21:55,241 - Kev, let's go. - I'm coming. 623 00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:57,137 [alarm ringing] 624 00:21:57,206 --> 00:21:59,482 - What the hell, Kevin? 625 00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:02,379 Oh, are you making time for Mr. Nasty? 626 00:22:02,448 --> 00:22:03,655 - No. 627 00:22:03,724 --> 00:22:05,275 No, I'm not. I'm making time for you. 628 00:22:05,344 --> 00:22:06,448 Okay, I got to go. - What? 629 00:22:06,517 --> 00:22:07,862 Where you going? 630 00:22:07,931 --> 00:22:09,482 - Well, I got to help Duane save his marriage. 631 00:22:09,551 --> 00:22:11,068 - But they're already divorced. 632 00:22:11,137 --> 00:22:13,620 - Well, that means it's a lot worse than I thought it was. 633 00:22:13,689 --> 00:22:15,413 - What-- - Come on, come on, let's go. 634 00:22:15,482 --> 00:22:17,413 Let's go--I said move! - Kevin. 635 00:22:17,482 --> 00:22:20,000 - Dragging your ass. Let's go. 636 00:22:20,068 --> 00:22:23,379 - Oh, Kevin's gonna leave me here in Mexico by myself 637 00:22:23,448 --> 00:22:26,103 for Duane Martin? Mm-hmm. 638 00:22:26,172 --> 00:22:28,551 We gonna be talking about this in therapy. 639 00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:31,000 And I better not hear about no blackmail video. 640 00:22:31,068 --> 00:22:37,965 ♪ ♪ 641 00:22:39,620 --> 00:22:40,931 - Yo, Kev, listen man. 642 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,482 If this works out, you got to promise me 643 00:22:42,551 --> 00:22:43,724 you're gonna help me get back in the business. 644 00:22:43,793 --> 00:22:45,206 - What do you mean, if this works out? 645 00:22:45,275 --> 00:22:46,896 You need to explain to me what the fuck is going on. 646 00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:48,344 You told me there were broncos that I was going to be riding. 647 00:22:48,413 --> 00:22:50,103 - His name is Bronco. 648 00:22:50,172 --> 00:22:51,965 - Damn it, you got me again. 649 00:22:52,034 --> 00:22:53,344 You said, "Get back in the business." 650 00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:54,413 What are you referring to? 651 00:22:54,482 --> 00:22:55,896 You talking about another sex tape? 652 00:22:55,965 --> 00:22:57,482 Something with your dick out? 'cause I got no interest. 653 00:22:57,551 --> 00:22:58,724 - I'm not talking about a sex tape. 654 00:22:58,793 --> 00:23:00,206 I'm talking about a acting gig, Kev. 655 00:23:00,275 --> 00:23:01,655 - That's even worse. No. 656 00:23:01,724 --> 00:23:03,172 No, I'd rather do the sex tape 657 00:23:03,241 --> 00:23:04,758 than have you back in the business on my behalf. 658 00:23:04,827 --> 00:23:06,137 Absolutely not. - You know what? 659 00:23:06,206 --> 00:23:07,620 Do you want to? You just take Bronco yourself. 660 00:23:07,689 --> 00:23:09,793 - No, no, no, no, no, no, hey, hey, hey, 661 00:23:09,862 --> 00:23:11,310 easy, easy. - Okay, Bronco, okay. 662 00:23:11,379 --> 00:23:13,310 He's all right, he's all right. He's all right. 663 00:23:13,379 --> 00:23:15,344 He's an ass. - Fine. 664 00:23:15,413 --> 00:23:18,758 Fine, you want, like, a cameo in "Jumanji" or something? 665 00:23:18,827 --> 00:23:20,758 - You know what? That would be amazing, Kev. 666 00:23:20,827 --> 00:23:21,965 - Okay. 667 00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:25,068 This is it? - All right, yep. 668 00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:27,103 - [groans] 669 00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:28,655 - There we go. 670 00:23:28,724 --> 00:23:30,137 Now listen up. - What? 671 00:23:30,206 --> 00:23:33,034 - When we get in there, only I do the talking, okay? 672 00:23:34,586 --> 00:23:35,586 - Okay. - Clear on that? 673 00:23:35,655 --> 00:23:36,931 - Yeah. - All right. 674 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,034 "Jumanji," right? - I said yes. 675 00:23:39,103 --> 00:23:41,137 - All right. 676 00:23:41,206 --> 00:23:43,448 ♪ Bing, bing, bing, bing ♪ - Hey. 677 00:23:43,517 --> 00:23:45,827 - ♪ Bing, bing, bing, bing ♪ - How you been, man? 678 00:23:45,896 --> 00:23:46,862 - I'm good, man. 679 00:23:46,931 --> 00:23:48,034 - What it's been, like, two years? 680 00:23:48,103 --> 00:23:50,379 - Yeah, man, you know I been, uh, 681 00:23:50,448 --> 00:23:51,689 hiding from my wife and kids. 682 00:23:51,758 --> 00:23:53,620 [laughter] - As usual. 683 00:23:53,689 --> 00:23:54,965 Let me get the doctor. - All right. 684 00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:56,275 - Doctor! 685 00:23:56,344 --> 00:23:58,379 - How's Dr. Moreau? - Oh, she's been good. 686 00:23:58,448 --> 00:23:59,827 Staying busy. - Yeah? 687 00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:03,000 Oh, you guys remodeled a little bit, okay. 688 00:24:03,068 --> 00:24:06,517 Doc! - Ah, Mr. Campbell-Martin. 689 00:24:06,586 --> 00:24:08,241 Or is it Martin-Campbell? 690 00:24:08,310 --> 00:24:09,689 - Well, it's just Duane now. 691 00:24:09,758 --> 00:24:11,413 My ex-wife took the two names in the divorce. 692 00:24:11,482 --> 00:24:13,172 - Smart woman. 693 00:24:13,241 --> 00:24:15,620 So I take it this is the young man you were telling me about? 694 00:24:15,689 --> 00:24:18,482 - Yes, this is Kevin Hart. 695 00:24:18,551 --> 00:24:19,655 He wants to be cloned. 696 00:24:19,724 --> 00:24:21,896 ♪ ♪ 697 00:24:21,965 --> 00:24:24,517 And since you're the only person in the world 698 00:24:24,586 --> 00:24:26,482 that's done it successfully, here we are. 699 00:24:26,551 --> 00:24:27,551 - This is true. - Just, uh-- 700 00:24:27,620 --> 00:24:29,000 just looking around. 701 00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:30,137 Just a couple questions before we get into things. 702 00:24:30,206 --> 00:24:31,655 - Mm-hmm. - Who else have you cloned? 703 00:24:31,724 --> 00:24:33,482 - Well, I can't really say, 704 00:24:33,551 --> 00:24:35,689 but do you think the real Melania 705 00:24:35,758 --> 00:24:37,482 would actually have sex with Donald Trump? 706 00:24:37,551 --> 00:24:40,517 - [laughs] 707 00:24:40,586 --> 00:24:43,241 - So you cloned Donald Trump? 708 00:24:43,310 --> 00:24:45,827 Get out of here. - No, what I'm trying to say-- 709 00:24:45,896 --> 00:24:47,206 - I didn't expect to know that. - Uh. 710 00:24:47,275 --> 00:24:48,862 - That's more news that I'm walking away with. 711 00:24:48,931 --> 00:24:50,103 That's bomb. - Why don't we have a seat? 712 00:24:50,172 --> 00:24:52,862 - I will have a seat. - Let's do this. 713 00:24:52,931 --> 00:24:56,620 - Oh, man, the seat--oh. - [laughs] 714 00:24:56,689 --> 00:24:59,172 - Scottie Pippen been here too, huh? 715 00:24:59,241 --> 00:25:02,344 All right, well, I'm not here to waste time. 716 00:25:02,413 --> 00:25:03,586 How much we talking? 717 00:25:03,655 --> 00:25:05,965 - Well, Mr. Hart, it is quite expensive, 718 00:25:06,034 --> 00:25:08,172 but since you're half human-sized, 719 00:25:08,241 --> 00:25:10,137 we can offer you a discount. - Discount! 720 00:25:10,206 --> 00:25:11,931 - You're talking circles. 721 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,724 I don't need you to talk in circles. 722 00:25:13,793 --> 00:25:15,172 How many zeroes? Give it to me straight. 723 00:25:15,241 --> 00:25:17,758 - Well, normally we can do it for four-- 724 00:25:17,827 --> 00:25:19,103 - How many million dollars? Let's get it done. 725 00:25:19,172 --> 00:25:21,241 - No, no, no, no. It--it--it-- - Kev, Kev, Kev-- 726 00:25:21,310 --> 00:25:22,827 - So, you want to negotiate? - Kev, Kev, Kev-- 727 00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,448 You want to do this? You really want to get into it? 728 00:25:24,517 --> 00:25:25,413 Fine. - Kev, Kev, Kev-- 729 00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:26,758 - Will you stop? 730 00:25:26,827 --> 00:25:27,965 That's why I don't take you to meetings. 731 00:25:28,034 --> 00:25:29,310 I'm in the middle of a negotiation 732 00:25:29,379 --> 00:25:30,517 and you still sitting here 733 00:25:30,586 --> 00:25:31,965 tapping me like a little damn child. 734 00:25:32,034 --> 00:25:34,586 Stay out of this business please until it's complete. 735 00:25:34,655 --> 00:25:36,310 What you're doing is distracting. 736 00:25:36,379 --> 00:25:37,758 With that being said, 737 00:25:37,827 --> 00:25:39,551 I want you to erase what you just saw out your mind 738 00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:41,310 and let's get back to doing this. 739 00:25:41,379 --> 00:25:43,413 $5 million. - No, no, you don't understand. 740 00:25:43,482 --> 00:25:45,620 It--it doesn't-- - It--it what? 741 00:25:45,689 --> 00:25:47,896 It's what? Huh? 742 00:25:47,965 --> 00:25:49,206 You don't understand who you're dealing with. 743 00:25:49,275 --> 00:25:51,586 I am what you would like to call a machine. 744 00:25:51,655 --> 00:25:53,413 When I want something, I get it. 745 00:25:53,482 --> 00:25:54,827 When I get it, I take it. 746 00:25:54,896 --> 00:25:56,896 After I take it, I use it. 747 00:25:56,965 --> 00:25:59,551 When I'm done using it, I then throw it away. 748 00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:01,275 It's what a real businessman does. 749 00:26:01,344 --> 00:26:03,137 With that being said, you've got $10 million right now. 750 00:26:03,206 --> 00:26:04,344 - I'm not gonna argue with that. 751 00:26:04,413 --> 00:26:05,931 - Damn right you not argue with that. 752 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,172 $10 million, we got a deal. - [laughs] 753 00:26:10,241 --> 00:26:11,206 - [laughs] 754 00:26:11,275 --> 00:26:13,862 The toughest part of cloning Kevin 755 00:26:13,931 --> 00:26:18,275 will be locating the active braincells. 756 00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:19,724 All right, Mr. Hart, 757 00:26:19,793 --> 00:26:21,793 now all I need from you is a DNA sample. 758 00:26:21,862 --> 00:26:23,241 - All right, cool. 759 00:26:23,310 --> 00:26:25,379 All I need is the wifi password and a cup. 760 00:26:25,448 --> 00:26:27,413 I still got twerking and jerking on my phone. 761 00:26:27,482 --> 00:26:28,620 So I can get rid of this quick. 762 00:26:28,689 --> 00:26:29,758 I only got a little bit left anyway. 763 00:26:29,827 --> 00:26:31,586 - No, we only need a hair sample. 764 00:26:31,655 --> 00:26:35,551 - Well, doc, I don't have pubic hair. 765 00:26:35,620 --> 00:26:37,206 That was a little gift for you. 766 00:26:37,275 --> 00:26:39,965 Now I do have a plethora of ass hair. 767 00:26:40,034 --> 00:26:42,172 So you can use that. You can get what you want. 768 00:26:42,241 --> 00:26:44,655 It's hard for me to get back there 'cause I got little arms. 769 00:26:44,724 --> 00:26:46,482 Like a T-Rex. 770 00:26:46,551 --> 00:26:49,344 - The--the ass hair will work. Yes, thank you. 771 00:26:49,413 --> 00:26:51,655 - How long's this gonna take? - Well, to do this properly, 772 00:26:51,724 --> 00:26:54,827 it normally takes about six months. 773 00:26:54,896 --> 00:26:56,827 - You say what? - Six months. 774 00:26:56,896 --> 00:26:59,000 - Six months? You think I got two years to waste? 775 00:26:59,068 --> 00:27:00,689 Sitting here for 630 days. 776 00:27:00,758 --> 00:27:02,655 I don't have that type of time, doc. 777 00:27:02,724 --> 00:27:05,206 Okay, so we gonna have to fast track that. 778 00:27:05,275 --> 00:27:07,172 What do I need to do to fast track it? 779 00:27:07,241 --> 00:27:08,620 - We--we can accelerate the process 780 00:27:08,689 --> 00:27:11,827 but this is cloning. It--it's not Domino's pizza. 781 00:27:11,896 --> 00:27:12,931 We can have them to you in 30 minutes or less. 782 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,034 - Okay, well, you obviously 783 00:27:15,103 --> 00:27:17,172 don't know who you're dealing with. 784 00:27:17,241 --> 00:27:19,379 So if it's more money you want, then just say it. 785 00:27:19,448 --> 00:27:20,931 Talk turkey to me. 786 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:24,413 Take the fork and put it in it so we can both eat. 787 00:27:24,482 --> 00:27:25,758 You got another $5 million coming to you. 788 00:27:25,827 --> 00:27:27,586 Let's do the math here. 789 00:27:27,655 --> 00:27:28,827 You want to talk numbers, 790 00:27:28,896 --> 00:27:30,379 then let me see how good your math is? 791 00:27:30,448 --> 00:27:32,344 10 million plus another 5 million, 792 00:27:32,413 --> 00:27:33,689 that's $17 million, doc. 793 00:27:33,758 --> 00:27:34,862 Take it or leave it. 794 00:27:34,931 --> 00:27:35,931 That's the offer that's on the table. 795 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,517 - We can have him to you by Friday. 796 00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:39,620 - Give me one. - Yes. 797 00:27:39,689 --> 00:27:41,206 Good deal, Kev. 798 00:27:41,275 --> 00:27:42,758 - All right, I'm gonna let you and the "Bride of Chucky" 799 00:27:42,827 --> 00:27:43,965 finish doing what you're doing while I get up out of here. 800 00:27:44,034 --> 00:27:45,448 - Um, yes. - Okay. 801 00:27:45,517 --> 00:27:46,689 By the way, whatever work you have done on yourself 802 00:27:46,758 --> 00:27:48,241 is glowing. I see it. 803 00:27:48,310 --> 00:27:49,310 - Why, thank you. - Good for you. 804 00:27:49,379 --> 00:27:50,551 Duane, do that paperwork for me. 805 00:27:50,620 --> 00:27:51,965 I'm gonna get out of here. - Yes, yes. 806 00:27:52,034 --> 00:27:54,655 - I'm gonna be on the bronco. - Yes, Kev, Kev... 807 00:27:54,724 --> 00:27:56,482 You outdid yourself, man. 808 00:27:56,551 --> 00:27:58,620 ♪ Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing ♪ 809 00:27:58,689 --> 00:28:00,379 Yo, check this out. 810 00:28:00,448 --> 00:28:03,965 What I failed to tell Kevin is that I get a 10% finder's fee. 811 00:28:04,034 --> 00:28:06,517 And because we're in Central America, 812 00:28:06,586 --> 00:28:09,620 the IRS will never know where I is are. 813 00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:11,724 [laughs] ♪ Bing ♪ 814 00:28:11,793 --> 00:28:13,482 Hey! What the fuck? 815 00:28:13,551 --> 00:28:15,793 Who did--you told on me? You fucking chicken. 816 00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:17,413 - [speaks Spanish] 817 00:28:17,482 --> 00:28:19,068 That's French. 818 00:28:19,137 --> 00:28:20,862 - I do still need a hair sample. 819 00:28:20,931 --> 00:28:22,965 - I ain't touching him. 820 00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:29,034 ♪ ♪ 821 00:28:29,103 --> 00:28:30,413 - Right this way, gentlemen. 822 00:28:30,482 --> 00:28:32,448 You're in for a treat. - All right. 823 00:28:32,517 --> 00:28:34,586 Doc. - Duane. 824 00:28:34,655 --> 00:28:37,241 Oh, and Mr. Hart. Oh, I can't wait to show you. 825 00:28:37,310 --> 00:28:38,827 Please, step in. 826 00:28:38,896 --> 00:28:41,206 Now I just want to warn you that 827 00:28:41,275 --> 00:28:43,068 we had to cut a few corners. - You don't have to explain it. 828 00:28:43,137 --> 00:28:45,448 Trust me, I know all that stuff will be figured out. 829 00:28:45,517 --> 00:28:46,551 I just want to see him. 830 00:28:46,620 --> 00:28:47,965 Open up the box please. - Mm-hmm. 831 00:28:48,034 --> 00:28:49,310 - I've always wondered how excited 832 00:28:49,379 --> 00:28:51,172 somebody must feel to be introduced to me. 833 00:28:51,241 --> 00:28:52,827 And now I get to experience it. 834 00:28:52,896 --> 00:28:55,827 I can't wait to meet me. 835 00:28:55,896 --> 00:28:59,551 [whirring] 836 00:28:59,620 --> 00:29:01,827 Nervous. [chuckles] 837 00:29:04,275 --> 00:29:05,310 [beeping] 838 00:29:09,034 --> 00:29:10,827 You got to be shitting me? 839 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:27,103 ♪ ♪ 840 00:29:43,068 --> 00:29:45,103 - Look, Daddy.