He told me he was at Ranger School.
Ranger School? Yes.
He gonna catch criminals and cougars on a skimobile.
You gonna be Smokey the Bear.
[ Laughter ]
Have you ever seen him do anything like this before?
Oh, absolutely.
[ Laughter ] Absolutely.
You ever saw that movie "A Bronx Tale"?
He's the Mush in real life.
He was late to come tape the show,
'cause he missed his flight... You're such a tattletale!
...'cause he went to the wrong airport.
Hey, it's a big world out there,
and it's filled with people that just don't see eye to eye.
See, that's where I come in.
See, I ain't got a law degree,
and I'm way too fly to wear a robe.
But this is where common sense presides -- in my house.
Court is now in session.
[ Chuckles ]
-- Captions by VITAC --
All rise for the Honorable Judge Steve Harvey!
[ Cheers and applause ] Steve: Thank you.
I appreciate that. Thank y'all.
Thank y'all very much.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah.
Nancy, how you doing today?
I'm doing great, sir. Thank you.
Good. Good to see you, darling. Good to see you.
Nancy is a real bailiff in real life.
She normally has a gun.
[ Laughs ] And she's normally, you know --
People in there for murder, kidnapping, drugs.
She's used to that,
so this is the best job she's ever had.
The best.
[ Applause ]
Alright, uh, let's get started.
This is the case of
Derrick Smith vs. Linda Hines.
Derrick is suing
his former girlfriend, Linda,
for $10,000 for a car loan
and emotional manipulation.
Linda claims she never asked
for the car loan,
and whatever he gave
was a gift.
Alright, let's start with you, Derrick.
You have 30 seconds to state your case.
My former girlfriend over here, Linda,
I'm suing her for $10,000
for a car loan that I gave her.
But, Judge Harvey,
I really, really need to find out
if she really loved me or she used me.
Did she take advantage of me because I'm a teddy bear?
She thought I was an ATM machine.
So you're suing for $10,000?
Yes. Okay.
But you -- you mad right now?
I'm upset. Yeah. You're upset, okay.
But you -- you got it targeted towards me.
I just want you to know it ain't gonna work out for you
like you think. Alright. Okay.
[ Laughter ]
'Cause I'm hood ready at all times.
[ Laughter ]
Okay, uh, Linda, it's your turn.
You have 30 seconds to respond.
I never borrowed anything from Derrick.
I don't owe him anything.
He -- Stop that.
No, I did not. No, listen here. No, no. You got to stop.
You got to stop. She got 30 seconds.
Okay. Okay, go ahead now.
He was my playmate for an amount of time.
See? See? Playmate. You see? Playmate. I-I -- We --
No. Sir, she's got 30 seconds.
Derrick.
I'm the only one can fix this for you.
Derrick: Okay.
So let's just settle down
and let me hear what Linda has to say.
Alright. Go ahead, Linda.
He was my playmate for awhile. He's my ex-playmate.
I never used him.
And, yes, I was digging him, you know, towards the end,
but he did the dip on me.
And whatever he gave me, he gave me from his heart,
so I thought I never asked about anything from him.
Derrick, how did you all meet?
Well, Your Honor,
me and a friend of mine's was driving,
telling him, showing him how to pick up girls.
But... That's what you was doing?
...I seen a beautiful woman
that was in my rearview mirror.
I told her to pull over, let me get her number.
Was this the first one of the day?
[ Laughter ]
No, it was -- I-I-I had interest.
I-I seen her, and I said, this the one I wanted to talk to.
Okay, when you walked up to her, what did you say?
I said, "Hey, beautiful. How you doing?"
I said, "I'm into older woman. Can I get your number?"
[ Spectators murmur ]
No! And I said, "Can I have your number?"
You can't say "no," because it worked.
[ Laughter ]
We are in court with the older woman, he says.
So now, what happened then?
Got her phone number and I told her,
I said, "I'll give you a call."
Is everything he's saying true so far?
Yes, absolutely. Okay.
So what did you think when he pulled you over?
He's flashing me and waving his hand out the window.
So I pulled over, he got out, he opened the door and got out.
I said, whoa. Whole lot of lover coming out.
Whoa!
Ooh, look at this great big ol' man.
Yeah!
All of a sudden, it's dark outside. Yeah!
You can't even see the sun no more. Yeah!
Your whole car just blacked out.
I said, whoa! Whoaaa!
[ Laughter ]
Alright, so then what happened?
I called her and said, "Let's go out on a date."
On a date? Here we go. Let's go out on a date.
Okay. I made a reservation.
We went out to a nice little restaurant.
I know, I know that.
We got some wings and some --
Wait, wait. You went to get some what?
Wings and a steak.
Pizza. And pizza. Chicken wings.
And pizza.
Oh, I know what chicken wings is.
Don't forget the pizza.
We had pizza on every date.
Okay, hold on. We had pizza on every date?
We ate a lot of pizza.
You like pizza?
No. Now, the second date --
Oh, yeah, you do now.
[ Laughter ]
You know, you -- whoaa. You don't get to be that.
You got to like pizza. There ain't nothing wrong with it.
Alright. So go ahead.
So the second date, I go to her apartment,
she comes to the car, lovey-dovey.
"Hey, this is my big man. This is my teddy bear."
Start rubbing my stomach, started kissing me on the neck,
kissing me on the cheek.
Yeah. Next thing I know, I hear the back door open.
[ Laughs ]
It was her grandkids coming in the car.
Now we supposed to go on a date, me and her!
She's bringing her grandchildren with her!
And I'm like, what is going on?
I'm like -- But wait.
How many was it?
It was two.
He knew I was raising my two grandkids.
Oh, you raising.
Yes, I'm raising. One's 8 and one is 11.
Yeah. Did he know they were coming on the date? Yea-- No, he didn't know.
But you know. You ain't had time for that.
You know, wasn't nothing special.
We're going to eat. Come on.
We're just going to eat, with pizza.
Let's go. We can all go.
We're gonna get pizza and chicken wings, go do the norm.
[ Laughter ]
So now, Derrick, how -- how do you treat the kids?
I treat the kids wonderful. Great. They love him.
I treat them like they was my own.
Okay. Alright?
Because that's the type of guy I am. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. He did.
You know? He did, he did, he did.
I got a nice heart, a big heart, you know?
Yeah.
And then next thing you know, I hear the kids say,
"Can we go to GameTime on Saturday?"
Once again, she's over there rubbing my hair,
rubbing my stomach, kissing on my neck.
What's going on?
Yeah, I know all this happened.
So I'm thinking she's pulling the chain.
So after that, the following day, she said,
"Hey, are you coming up?"
"Yes, I'm coming up."
"Can you go and bring the kids some milk and some cereal?"
No, no, no, no, no.
You asked me, did I need anything?
You always asked me, do I need anything? No, you told me --
Now, hold on. Hold on. Wait a minute, Derrick. Derrick.
I know good and well if you going over a woman's house
that you gonna say, "Do you need anything?"
That's right. That's what he said every time.
I've been -- I've been saying that for years.
When I'm coming home today, I call Marjorie,
"Do you need anything?"
And if she say she needs something, I gotta pick it up.
But then I'm gonna fire eight or nine people,
'cause I don't know what the hell
she need me to pick up something for.
[ Laughter ]
So I know you did that, Derrick,
'cause you just said you got a big heart.
Yeah. Yeah. "Do you need anything?"
So are you all in a relationship?
What is this?
Your Honor, we was in a relationship.
For how long?
We've been in four years.
Four years?
And we've been on and on.
Oh, that's full-blown.
Did you say "off and on" or "on and on"?
We've been on and on.
On and on. Yeah, been coming up.
Four years, just steady.
Yes. In this relationship, what do you consider her?
I consider her as a girlfriend.
She was an older woman.
What's the age difference here?
I'm -- I'm 63.
Girl, you look good.
Thank you. Thank you.
And how old are you?
49.
You 49?
[ Laughter ]
And how old are you? 49.
You 49?
Yes. I thought you was 39.
Now, I'm a good -- I'm a good judge of age.
I've been looking at Black dudes my entire life.
[ Laughter ]
I'm 65. I know what these ages look like.
Your forehead, it ain't got 50 years on it.
[ Laughter ]
I'm 39. Huh?
I'm 39. You're 39. Thank you.
Alright, so now over this four years,
give me an idea what all you've done.
Having pizza, going to games.
We used to go out.
He would entertain me and the children.
We've been to amusement parks.
We've been to trampoline parks.
We've been apple picking.
You know, we did a little --
Apple picking? Yeah. You know, a lot of little --
Boy, you good.
Yeah, 'cause he's got a good heart.
So he comes through and he takes us, and we go places.
I-I will, you know, offer 'cause they my kids,
and I don't want nobody saying nothing about what you did for mine,
so I'm offering.
He says, "No, I got it. Don't worry about it. I got it."
Stop that. Stop that. Look, Derrick, don't do it.
Okay, hold on. Hold on. Don't do it.
You have no problem with what she's saying?
Yes, the truth is that every t--
Remember now, you just said you was 49.
[ Laughter ]
Every time we go out, she always saying that I don't have.
She don't have to.
But I considered that she was taking advantage of me,
using me, thinking I was an ATM machine.
Derrick, for real? For real?
Yeah. I took care of them before I even met you.
I didn't ask you for anything.
I never depended on you for anything.
My existence was on before I even met you. No, listen here. Listen here.
Tell it, keep it real, man.
No, listen here.
She took -- You took advantage of me at my vulnerable state.
Why? Why? When I asked to move in with her, she said no.
And I was losing my house, losing my cars.
Because I had lost -- I lost my job in the pandemic.
Okay, now, hold on, hold on.
'Cause now I'm trying to understand you,
but your story just took a quick turn.
So you lost your job, and then you asked her,
could you come live with her?
Yes. And what was her response?
She said her family would not like that. Hells to no, no, no.
[ Laughter ]
And now, why do you think
she didn't want you to live with her?
I don't know.
My grandkids was never used to seeing me
getting up with this man or that man in my house, in bed.
I don't do that. I don't come from that.
So no, he couldn't move in with me. Plus, he had lost his job?
Now, I think you've gotta understand,
when you say you lost your job, you want to move in --
she already got two kids.
So I understand that right there.
Let's get to this loan.
Was this after you asked her,
could you move here with her and she said no?
This was after.
And are you all together at this point?
No.
I didn't see him for a long time.
Months went by. I talked to him in spurts.
I had called him.
He told me he was upstate New York,
in Albany at Ranger School.
At where? Ranger School.
Somewhere in Albany.
Wait a minute, hold up.
[ Spectators murmur ]
You told her you was in Albany at Ranger School?
Yes.
Ranger School?
[ Laughter ]
Do you have any idea what's required to be a Ranger?
He gonna catch criminals and cougars on a skimobile
in the snow.
Wait a minute. Wait.
[ Laughter ]
Okay. Okay. Okay.
This just got a lot better.
You gonna be Smokey the Bear.
[ Laughter ]
Oh!
And you gonna be catching cougars
on a snowmobile?
'Cause I guess catching cougars in cars
on the freeway wasn't good enough for you.
[ Laughter ]
So now you in Ranger School,
so how do we get to the $10,000?
She called me up and asked,
"Can you loan me $10,000 for a new car?"
How long had it been since you all were together?
At least a year.
No, we was together. No.
I hadn't seen Derrick in almost a year. Alright.
So sometime during the holidays,
he had came by and I buzzed him in.
He came upstairs, I went on back into my room,
and he came on upstairs.
And I went out and said, "Well, where's Derrick?"
The kids say he left.
But as usual, there's the bag on the table,
so with the little groceries, with the milk and the cereal
and on the back of the bag,
there's a little folded envelope with a whole lot of cash.
So I took the cash,
and I went in the room and I did the Flintstone dance like this.
And I called him, I said, "Derrick, do you --"
That's not true. That's not true.
Hold on, Derrick. "Do you want me to hold this money for you?
What you want me -- You want me to hold this?"
He said, "No. Take this.
Get you a little hooptie and spend the rest on the kids."
Then I didn't see him for a long time again.
But I didn't ask you for a dime. I never asked you for nothing.
Now, Derrick, did you show up at her house one day?
Yes. Did you ring the buzzer?
I rang the buzzer.
Did you come up the stairs and see the kids?
Yes.
Did you bring anything with you when you came?
Yes, I brought some groceries,
and I had $10,000 in my possession.
Who did you give the groceries and the money to? Nobody, nobody.
I put the groceries on the table and I said,
"This is the loan that you requested about."
And I loaned her the money.
I gave it to her. I loaned it to her.
Okay, let me -- I give it to her.
Okay, let me see.
We have a withdrawal slip that you submitted.
Let's see this.
Derrick Smith took out $10,000.
That's for 10,000k.
I had money saved up.
You had money saved? Yes.
Alright, I've reached my verdict.
[ Applause ]
You met her, 'cause you were trying to impress
a younger guy in the car.
Yeah. You see this attractive woman drive by
and you pulled her over because you like older women.
Yeah. She's a grandmother.
She's raising her two grandkids.
And I thank God for grandmothers, man.
Oh.
You are a good man.
Yes, he is. You got a good heart.
Now, she did not take advantage of you
because you were in a vulnerable state.
'Cause if you was in a vulnerable state,
you shouldn't have got out the car
and walked up to the front.
You enjoyed getting kissed on the neck,
getting your stomach rubbed.
You liked all that. She know what she got to do.
She a cougar.
[ Laughter ]
Cougars come with experience.
Cougars got claws.
You knew that.
But that's what you like.
Now, it didn't have much of a future,
'cause when you fell on hard times, you asked her,
could you move in?
She said no,
'cause she can't have that in front of them grandkids.
Yeah, I really can't get mad at Miss Linda for none of that.
And you can't, either. Yes.
But that didn't stop you, though,
because you kept coming with the pizza and the chicken wings.
[ Laughter ]
Now, I know you went out to capture a cougar...
but you wound up getting captured by the cougar.
[ Applause ]
Do you love this woman?
Yeah.
[ Spectators aww ] You do?
Did you ever love this man?
Yeah, I do. Could I give him a hug?
[ Spectators aww ]
Yeah, you can go on over there. Derrick, my love, come here.
Come here.
[ Laughs ]
Now, let me tell you something.
I have to rule against you for the $10,000,
simply because I have no proof of loan,
I can't get an agreement of a payment plan,
and she certainly is not in a position to pay you any money.
But...this is my court.
So even though I'm ruling against you
on your suit for $10,000,
just for being a good man, Derrick,
and for taking care of them kids and buying thousands of dollars
worth of pizza and chicken wings,
I'm going to award you $5,000.
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's my verdict,
and that's the way I see it.
♪♪
We're going out for pizza.
[ Laughs ]
Linda!
You told a woman,
"I'm done talking about this."
[ Laughs ]
It gonna get real ugly for you.
We in here, ain't we?
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Steve: Okay, so, let's get started.
This is the case of
Cassidy Rogers vs. Chandler Thompson.
Cassidy is suing her boyfriend, Chandler,
for a $1,000 reimbursement
for a trip the couple took to Gatlinburg.
But Chandler is convinced that Cassidy willingly paid
for their joint Tennessee trip and owes her nothing.
Okay, uh, let's start with you, Cassidy.
You have 30 seconds to state your case.
I am here today suing my boyfriend, Chandler Thompson,
for $1,000 --
$500 for the money he owes me from our vacation
that we took this past December in Gatlinburg,
and another $500 for the stress and financial hardship
that he's caused because of this whole situation.
Chandler, it's your turn.
You have 30 seconds to respond.
Your Honor, this is honestly such a ridiculous situation.
I don't owe her any money.
She told me several times leading up to the trip
that she wanted to pay for it in full by herself,
so that's what I let her do,
and that's all that happened here.
Let me start with you, Cassidy. What type of trip was this?
We decided to go to Gatlinburg for our three-year anniversary.
Are you all married? No, we're just dating.
Oh, this is like a dating anniversary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay. So tell me about it.
We had planned on splitting the trip 50/50.
So we get to the hotel, and he goes in to check in --
it's one of those hotels that you pay when you get there.
[ Chuckles ] The plan was for him to put that on his card,
and I would, you know, give him cash for half of it.
But he runs out 30 seconds later and he says,
"My card's declined. It got turned off by the bank."
That's not true. That is not true. "They said someone hacked it.
You have cash. Can you give it to me to pay?"
I said, "Yeah, sure. That's fine."
He was like, "I will pay you back for everything.
Just don't even worry about it.
I have to get it figured out with the bank."
And the whole entire trip, I-I paid for dinners,
every single outing, everything I paid for.
He didn't pay for a single thing at all.
Uh, what's your take on what happened?
So my card was shut down
because of a situation that I had with my bank
where I essentially got overdrawn.
What happened was she worked a lot,
like, probably 80 hours
in the weeks leading up to the trip,
and she said, "Hey, look, I'm coming up on all this money.
I'm getting all these big paychecks from work.
Let me take care of this one.
I want to pay this vacation,
because you pay for so much when we're at home."
So I let her.
Well...when she was sitting in the car
and you went inside with your card --
Um, at that point, I didn't know
that there was a situation going on.
That's why I -- Yeah, I know, but see,
the part that we already off a little bit
was she said she was gonna pay,
but you went inside with your card.
[ Spectators murmur ]
What'd you go in there with the card to do?
Well, I was just gonna check in.
And pay for the hotel, because that's -- we hadn't paid yet.
Yeah, but then you were gonna pay me back,
because you wanted to pay for the trip.
[ Spectators murmur ]
So did y'all have fun? We did have fun.
Every single time I paid for something, I-I paid with cash,
he would be like -- he would give me a kiss and go,
"I love you, baby. You know what?
When we get home and I get this figured out,
I will pay you back." Yes.
"Don't you worry."
Chandler, is that you in that picture?
That is me. Oh, my man.
Smiling, kissing.
You know, we're having a good time.
That's a heart in the background. You in love.
Yes. Yes, sir. [ Spectators aww ]
How long y'all been in love, man?
At least two years, majority of the relationship.
We've known each other for a couple of years
before we actually started dating.
Uh, that's a lie.
That's a lie. That's a lie.
I -- Okay, so we've been friends since seventh grade.
I'm a junior in college now.
So we became friends,
and I fell absolutely in love with him.
Did you know you meant this to her?
Not at first, but then for a little bit
before we started dating, yes, I was aware.
What -- What type of person is he?
He's a great person, typically.
We even went on the keto diet together
and each lost like 50 pounds and, like --
We've been each other's accountability partners
through it all.
Y'all went on a keto diet? We did.
We went on the keto diet together.
Yeah.
[ Applause ]
I'm just looking at the "before" picture.
You lucky she even talking to you.
I know.
Well, let me say this to both y'all.
You look good.
Thank you. Congratulations.
You look doggone good.
[ Applause ]
So I've got two young people in love.
Now, after you get back home, what happens?
I text him,
you know, call him multiple times, say like, "Hey."
And we were hanging out, obviously.
I have a text chat between the two of you submitted. Mm-hmm!
Cassidy says...
You said, Chandler...
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
[ Laughs ]
A week passes -- nothing.
He says, "Give me two more days."
Nothing. Keeps going on like this.
And I was like, "Dude, give me the money."
Chandler? She left one really key detail out,
which is that in that two-week span after the trip,
she actually voluntarily stepped away from her job,
and it wasn't until after she quit the job that she had
that she then started coming to me saying,
"Hey, I need you to pay me
for this and that that we did in Gatlinburg."
Well, however she left the job
or conveniently walked away from it,
let's get back to the point.
She was expecting payment.
Yes, and I'm not sure why,
because I never promised her payment.
Well, Chandler, when you text,
"I can pay you back in, like, a week if that's cool,"
is that code for something?
No, I-I really just wanted her to leave me alone about it,
and I was like, you know what?
If -- If maybe you just stop thinking
about it for a little bit, then you'll chill out,
maybe find another job, and then, like,
hold up your end of the promise, which was to pay for the trip.
[ Spectators murmur ]
So now, what happens after this text?
At that point, he had actually blocked me.
That's why that was on Snapchat.
He had blocked me on -- on text and call.
Yeah. J-Just to piss me off.
Do you have any proof that you said you're not paying?
Yes, absolutely. Pull it up.
[ Laughter ]
Yes.
Hey, Chandler, I just want to show you this one line
that you will live to regret.
You told a woman, "I'm done talking about this."
[ Laughter ]
Son, listen to me.
If you don't get nothing else out of this,
there's a lot of stuff you can't say to a woman.
This is just a list of probably about 300 things.
[ Laughter ]
"I'm done talking about this."
'Cause you know what they hear?
"You shut up."
And, you know, when they hear that [laughs]
It gonna get really ugly for you.
We in here, ain't we?
[ Laughter ]
Yeah. Yeah, we are. Yeah. See?
Oh, we done talking about it?
Okay.
We in court.
[ Laughter ]
Um, we have a witness.
♪♪
That would be his twin brother, Chase.
Oh, my man. So you brought some evidence in here with you.
Not necessarily.
He's my witness, Steve.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Bring the witness in.
That would be his twin brother, Chase.
Oh, my man. So you brought some evidence in here with you.
Not necessarily.
He's my witness, Steve.
[ Cheers and applause ]
This the best case I ever had.
Your twin brother is her witness?
Sir, introduce yourself.
My name is Chase Thompson.
I am Chandler's twin.
What do you know about this situation?
Well, I know that they planned this trip at my house
where I live with him,
and I know that they always, from the very beginning,
discussed that they were going to split this trip.
That is not true. It was never -- It was never discussed
that Cassidy would pay for the whole thing.
Chandler, Chandler, son, listen to me.
Chandler. Chandler. Yes, sir.
This ain't a good look right now.
I'm aware.
You probably can't get a closer person
in your life than your twin.
Now you're saying that you heard them discussing it?
Chase: Yes, Your Honor.
What do you think happened here?
They did agree to split the trip. Mm-hmm.
And once they actually got back, he realized it was maybe
a little bit more expensive than he thought.
And he, I'm sure, has left out the detail that he has been
out of consistent work for about a year.
And I know he had a lot of money saved up,
but at this point in time, I think it was dwindling,
and I think that's why he's doing this. Oh, okay.
Have you ever seen him do anything like this before?
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
[ Laughter ]
[ Gavel bangs ]
Give me an example of what you've...
Back when we were much younger children,
probably no older than seven or eight years old,
we used to get an allowance each week from our parents. Uh-huh.
And what he would do is each week
after we received the allowance, he would come into my room
while I was asleep in the middle of the night
and takes some of my allowance, every single week.
Every week? And it was -- Every single week.
It got to the point where after months and months of saving,
I had saved up about $80 and he had almost $500.
$500?
[ Spectators murmur ]
You've been stealing trips since you was a little boy.
[ Laughter ]
A lot has changed since then.
Oh. Chase: That's not true, either.
That's not true, either.
One thing about $500, it sound the same, though.
Now, you came in as a witness for her. Why?
Because I want him to become an honorable man,
one who is a man of his word.
That's what I want for my brother.
[ Applause ]
Well, Chase, I got to tell you, man,
that's a wonderful thing to want for your brother.
Describe her as a person for me.
She is kind. She is giving.
She is everything to him, and I know that.
And she is the person
that you can't ignore when she's in the room,
because she brightens everyone's mood that much.
[ Spectators aww ]
I would have to agree.
I've reached a verdict.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You, sir, are in court
with the woman that you love
over $500.
You will look back on this
as one of the dumbest public moments you've ever had.
'Cause we already know what this case is right here.
She ain't did nothing wrong.
I don't even know why she want you.
If you get any older and it comes down to this,
this is gonna end it, partner.
But she just want her money,
and it's money that you owe her, because if it was on her,
you never would have said in the text,
"I'm going to pay you back. Give me a week, if that's cool."
You texted that.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
Then you said she walked away from her job
and she's running low on money, is why she's hounding me.
Yes, sir.
I believe I should probably have just paid her back by now.
[ Applause ]
Do you think this relationship is gonna survive this incident?
I hope so. I-If she'll stick with me.
I hope she makes you crawl across hot coals
and broken glass.
I don't want y'all to break up simply because you stupid.
[ Laughter ]
Look, man, you don't even know what you got here,
but once it's gone, though, you will.
I'm giving her everything she asked for --
$500 for a trip reimbursement and $500 for financial distress.
And we're adding an extra $500
just to make sure you don't ever do this again.
My ruling is for the plaintiff for $1,500.
Thank you. Thank you.
That's my verdict,
and that's how I see it.
♪♪
The Jets are my family!
I don't bet against my family!
♪ Everybody plays the fool ♪
♪ Sometimes
♪ No exception to the rule
I'm the exception!
Say it again!
♪♪
Oh, this is gonna be good.
This is the case of
Artie Pangaiotakos vs. Vinny Borriello.
Artie is suing his longtime friend Vinny
for $1,800 for refusing to honor his winning bet
in the football pool Vinny organized.
Alright, uh, let's start with you, Artie.
You have 30 seconds to state your case.
Judge Harvey, I'm here to settle a dispute
between me and my friend, 35 years' friendship.
He asked me to join a football survivor pool.
I'm in. I've always joined those pools.
Love it. Never won a football pool. Never won.
So now I'm about to win $1,800.
I am suing my friend Vinny for that $1,800
because he literally took it out of my pocket.
I almost had that money in my pocket, I won it,
and he calls me and tells me that I was eliminated.
Eliminated!
Okay. [ Chuckles ]
Vinny, it's your turn. You got 30 seconds to respond.
Your Honor, Artie did not win the pool.
I do not owe him $1,800.
I love him like a brother, but he made a mistake,
and he's got to accept it.
And I'm hoping you can convince him to stop all this nonsense
so we can just move on and be friends.
Okay. [ Applause ]
Alright, Artie.
Tell me about this survivor football pool.
Okay, it's one game that you pick a week,
and you don't go by line.
You basically pick a winner.
So the strategy is, you look at the schedule,
you see what good teams are playing each other.
You pick the winner.
But then once you pick the team, you can't pick them again.
That's the strategy. Oh, you can't pick them again.
So I can't pick the Patriots or the Rams every week.
Okay, so how many weeks total is the pool?
18 weeks.
Man. It's tough.
That's pretty good.
That's why I never won. So who is your team?
The Jets are my team.
The Jets? Yeah!
J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets!
[ Spectators boo ]
Man. Yeah, look at that!
This is you two at the game?
Vinny and I went to the Jet playoff game
in New England, Steve. In New England.
The Jets playoff game in New England? Yeah!
Not this year. A while back.
[ Laughter ] I had -- I had hair.
I was fittin' to say, that had to be a while back. Yeah.
That was the Sanchez days. You said y'all been friends 35 years?
Yes. We went to a lot of games together.
We've been involved in pools. Artie's been in pools.
I've been running the pools for 30 years.
So how many people in this pool?
This pool had 60 people in it.
60. How much you put in?
Everybody put in $30, so there was $1,800 was the pool.
$1,800 paid off at the end?
Well, whoever the last survivor, you know,
if you pick, your team loses, you're out,
so whoever the last person is.
As a matter of fact, this year it ended, like, week 15,
'cause there was only one person left,
so he won the money.
He didn't have to pick the rest of the year.
So now it's the survivor who wins the money?
When was the pool that you're disputing?
When was it? It was October 31, 2021.
October 31st. Halloween.
And who was playing that day? [ Laughs ]
The Jets were playing the Bengals.
My man, can I tell you something?
Boy, you a man after my heart.
'Cause I'm a Cleveland boy.
And see, we're in the same division as the Bengals.
Everybody knew that the Bengals was gonna beat the Jets.
Right!
When the Jets won that game...
Yes, Steve, yes!
...the greatest day.
Boy almost cried.
You know what's better than that?
They won with a backup quarterback!
Nobody heard of the guy -- Mike White!
Who the heck is Mike White?
[ Laughter ]
Okay, so let me get this here.
So you're alive in week 8?
Yes!
You -- Seven games, you've picked the winner.
Yes!
So week 8, you're still alive?
Yeah. And your team is the Jets.
No,
because I'm not betting on the Jets.
Once you pick the team, you can't pick them again.
You save the Jets for last.
Oh, so you can keep winning? Yeah.
Your Honor, all the people in the pool,
they have to get their picks in by midnight Friday,
because Saturday, I send out the reports
so everybody knows who they need to root for.
If you don't get your pick in on Friday, what happens
is you get the most popular pick of the week.
So if you mess up and forget to pick, that's okay.
I'm probably giving you a better pick than you would have made.
You get the consensus best pick.
Saturday morning, tells me his pick is the Kansas City Chiefs.
I says, Artie, your pick's too late,
so you get the consensus pick of the week,
which was the Bengals against the Jets.
Are you kidding me?! That's what everybody picked.
You can't write that up!
Your Honor, I took the Bengals myself.
I'm a Jet fan, too,
but that was the pick of the week.
What happened was, the stars aligned.
I don't know what the hell happened,
somehow, the Jets win that game.
So he was supposed to have the Chiefs.
He got his pick in late.
But you picked a different game that week.
Vinny notified me that the system said
that I took the Bengals.
He knows me for 35 years.
I have the theory of "The Godfather."
You never go against the family.
The Jets are my family.
I don't bet against my family!
You know the song,
♪ Everybody plays the fool ♪
♪ Sometimes
♪ No exception to the rule I'm the exception!
The Jets are my exception!
♪ Listen, baby
♪ Everybody plays the fool sometimes ♪ Come on!
Show the picture again! Oh!
Your Honor --
♪ No exception to the rule
Say it again!
♪ Everybody plays the fool sometimes ♪
♪ No exception to the rule
♪ Except when you bet the Jets ♪
[ Laughter ]
Your Honor. Yeah?
I can't be making exceptions.
What am I supposed to do?
60 people, I got to check who their favorite team is?
We went to the game together.
The rule is the rule.
I have a green Jet tie that I wear to grad--
24 years of graduations, I wear the Jet tie.
I mean... Your Honor, here's the thing about Artie.
You ever saw that movie "A Bronx Tale"?
Yeah. You know the Mush?
He's the Mush in real life.
Every bet he does falls apart, everything.
He was late to come tape the show
'cause he missed his flight,
'cause he went to the wrong airport.
You're such a tattletale!
That's real life. That's Artie.
[ Laughter ]
Aw, come on!
What is this guy doing?
Yeah!
Your Honor, here's what I'm worried about, okay?
He likes the Jets.
The Jets are kind of like a loser team, right?
Yeah. I'm a little worried --
no disrespect,
but you like the Cleveland Browns.
Love them.
They could be considered a loser team, too.
I'm a little worried you could be simpatico with this guy.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Hold it.
[ Spectators groan ]
But you like the Cleveland Browns. Love them.
They could be considered
a loser team, too.
I'm a little worried you could be simpatico with this guy.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Hold it.
[ Spectators groan ]
I am exactly whatever it is you just called me.
[ Laughter ]
If it means we kind of think alike, yeah.
So, Artie, week 8, you're out. Yes.
Because you were late getting it in.
But I didn't know I was out.
I never would bet against the Jets,
so I'm not out, in my mind.
Because you're a Jets guy.
That's right!
J-E-T-S!
Jets, Jets, Jets!
That's what I'm talking about, see?
That's what I'm talking about!
And he knows that. And he knows it.
Now, Vinny, when did you tell Artie he was out?
Okay, when the Jets won, I called him.
We talked about how the Jets won.
And I said, "It's kinda funny
how they won and knocked us out,"
'cause I got knocked out, too, by that game.
I picked the Bengals myself.
And he said, "Yeah, I know,
but you wouldn't give me the Bengals against the Jets."
I can't change the rules. He's my friend.
How would it feel to the other 59 people that I say,
he's my friend for 35 years, I let him pick who he wants.
I can't do that. The rules are rules.
And, Your Honor, here's what gets me.
He kept sending the picks, and to give him his credit,
all his picks the rest of the year were right.
He was winning after that.
Wait a minute. He got all the picks right?
Yeah, so when I told him --
We have the score card of that?
Yeah, we have all the picks he made.
Let me see the scorecard they say they have.
And to be fair, he did get all the picks right.
But look -- that week
he got the Bengals.
Look at that green.
That's money right there, Steve.
Green -- it's money. So every week he would say --
Every week he would say, "Oh, I got the pick."
Artie, you picked all these? Yeah.
All those picks
you showed there, 9-12 --
congratulations
that you picked winners,
but they're meaningless.
You were out.
Let me ask you a question, Artie.
If you had won the money, that would have been $1,800?
Judge, you know what it is?
I teach a thousand kids phys ed,
and my dream is to coach golf, right?
I love it. What a great sport.
Like, you could play with somebody that's 8 years old
and 80 years old, it's like a lifetime thing.
These kids that I teach will never play golf,
because it's expensive to take these kids out
on a course and stuff like that.
So I was gonna take the $1,800 --
I told the kids, "The Jets won!
They beat the Bengals, baby!
Mr. P's gonna take you out on the golf course."
"Yeah! Yeah!"
And then I had to say, "No, no."
[ Spectators murmur ]
God. I mean, $5,000 is a lot of money.
You were gonna win the money and give it to the kids
and take them to play golf.
I've reached a verdict.
[ Cheers and applause ]
And you know something, man?
We don't really have a loser here,
'cause this is great -- this is about friendship.
Y'all ain't even mad at each other.
That's friendship, man.
That's friendship. That's your boy right there.
He got the rules, and you late, and those are the rules.
Greeks are late, though.
Who you telling?
[ Laughter ]
But the Italians enforce the rules.
You know what I'm saying?
Who you telling?
[ Laughter ]
Look, man.
I understand the suit for $1,800.
According to every rule I've ever heard,
you only got hurt 'cause you were late.
He's not suing for anything.
He just wants him to stop nagging him
about the damn $1,800.
That's all he wants.
Artie, could you just let it go?
Artie don't strike me
as the type of guy that's gonna let a damn thing go.
[ Laughter ]
He's gonna ride this and you into the dirt.
So I got to throw the suit out against Vinny for $1,800.
But I'm gonna give you $5,000 to take the kids to go play golf.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh!
That's my verdict,
and that's how I see it.
Oh, my God!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
You're the man.
I'm so happy that we settled the issue.
Um, Judge Harvey
with a generous offer to the kids.
I can't wait to tell them, and...
And now we could just go to games together
and not have any issues.
No issues.
And, uh, it's just friends forever.
♪♪