1
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:05,537
[lock jiggling]
2
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,906
Adult mark: The old man
slept like a baby.
3
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,875
A teething baby.
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,143
[quietly]
locked.
5
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,710
Unlocked.
6
00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:14,379
Locked.
Unlocked.
7
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:15,914
Adult mark: Dad couldn't sleep
until he double-checked,
8
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,049
Triple-checked, and
quadruple-checked the locks.
9
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,184
Mike sr: Off.
10
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,719
Off.
11
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,788
Adult mark: And checked
and blessed every burner.
12
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,990
...The father, son,
and holy ghost...
13
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,659
Mary: Will you quit packin'
around and come to bed?
14
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,994
Pop: Shut up!
I'm trying to sleep!
15
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,264
Shut up yourself, you old coot!
16
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,600
Adult mark: Everything in
the house had to be unplugged.
17
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,268
Father, son, and the holy ghost.
Off!
18
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,537
Adult mark: Dad worked on
american bases during the war,
19
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,406
And the army safety films
had burned themselves
20
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,774
Into his brain.
21
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,544
Announcer: Plug in that
christmas tree, and whammo!
22
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,615
This gi's christmas
has gone up in smoke!
23
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:50,749
[door slams]
[mary gasps]
24
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,150
Pop: For crying out loud!
25
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,752
Mike jr: Sorry, sorry!
26
00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:57,956
Better make sure
that door's locked.
27
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,425
Oh, for frig's sake!
28
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,927
Mike sr: Locked...
Unlocked...
29
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:05,464
Locked...
Unlocked...
30
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,733
Locked...
Unlocked...
31
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:11,002
Mary: Mike, honey,
get your arse in gear.
32
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:12,571
The cab'll be here soon!
33
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,706
Adult mark: Normally
there was no privacy at all
34
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,776
In our little house, but this
night was a perfect storm.
35
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,445
My brother was working
the night shift
36
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,512
At the radio station,
37
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,648
Pop would be asleep by 7,
38
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,717
And my folks were celebrating
their 20th anniversary
39
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,219
By going somewhere
they'd never been...
40
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,520
Out!
41
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,589
Mike sr: I don't know, mary.
Freezing rain.
42
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,857
It's gettin' pretty greasy out.
43
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,992
Well, that's why
we're taking a cab!
44
00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:36,528
That and I plan on
having two fuzzy navels.
45
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,330
Oh, a night out!
46
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,797
I don't care
if it's spitting lava.
47
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,867
I'm having fun!
48
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,535
Mark!
49
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,537
You and ritche enjoy your movie
and behave yourselves.
50
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:46,872
Mark: Sure, mom.
51
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,274
Can't wait.
52
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:53,879
Adult mark: We pooled
our money to rent a vcr!
53
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:57,482
With no one watching us,
we could watch what we wanted.
54
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:58,817
Porky's.
55
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,286
The citizen kane
of teen sex comedies.
56
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,421
Ritche "borrowed"
his dad's copy.
57
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:07,493
♪
58
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:11,563
♪
59
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,265
♪
60
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,334
Uh, I don't know, ritche.
61
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,501
It's rated r.
62
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,236
That means we need
parental guidance.
63
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,639
This thing is
supposed to be filthy!
64
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,741
You want to see boobies
with your parents at home?
65
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,276
Adult mark: I was
getting cold feet,
66
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:25,777
But ritche was boiling over.
67
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:28,380
Gross!
No!
68
00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:29,915
This is supposed
to be the biggest film
69
00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:31,649
In canadian history.
70
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,052
I'm strictly interested
in the comedic elements.
71
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,254
It's research.
72
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,455
Sure.
Okay.
73
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,791
You close your eyes
when there's boobies, then.
74
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,793
Let's not get carried away.
75
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:45,130
♪
76
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:48,033
♪
77
00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:54,406
Hell of a bad night.
78
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,807
Hey, look at
the wires on that thing!
79
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,542
My god, you're
gonna blow a fuse!
80
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,344
News anchor: A storm warning
tonight across the province,
81
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,879
As extreme weather
is expected to continue.
82
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,414
Power lines are already...
83
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,883
Mike sr: This could be the worst
ice storm we've ever seen.
84
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,352
Pop: Pssht, I've seen worse
storms in a snow globe!
85
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,087
News anchor: [on tv]
high winds, black ice,
86
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,122
Freezing rain,
and poor visibility.
87
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:14,325
The rnc are encouraging drivers
to stay where you're to.
88
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,094
Mary...
89
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,496
I think we should
stay home out of it.
90
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,130
This is a death trap.
91
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,700
I'm not staying here
on our 20th anniversary!
92
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:24,335
People on death row
gets out more than I do!
93
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,037
Uh, she has a point, dad.
94
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,439
It's ponderosa!
95
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,574
Twenty years of marriage
is a long time,
96
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,510
But I hear
the salad bar is endless!
97
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,179
What's a little freezin' rain?
98
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,115
Pop: The boy's right, you know?
This is nothing.
99
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:40,652
I mean, when I was his age,
we didn't even have electricity.
100
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,721
I had to use an outhouse!
101
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,524
Oh no, once it was so cold,
102
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,527
I went out to have a pee
and it froze.
103
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:52,163
I had to break it off midstream!
104
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,866
Dick: [on radio] kiwanis club
bingo night is cancelled.
105
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,536
The bonavista Sunday
stitch & bitch is cancelled.
106
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,870
It's bad out there, folks!
107
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,139
Since when do you
listen to dick dunphy?
108
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,874
I think it's clearing up.
109
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,342
Mike sr: Mary...
110
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,012
I just saw the light and power
boys go up the road.
111
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,181
They'll have the lights back on
by the time we gets there.
112
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:10,282
Mary...
113
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,750
I know.
114
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:15,253
I'm never gonna see the inside
of that packin' ponderosa.
115
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:18,022
Adult mark: And I'd never see
the outside of kim cattrall.
116
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,358
They couldn't stay!
117
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,693
Did you give up
on 20 years of marriage
118
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,428
When things got tough?
119
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,231
Queen-size-cut
prime rib dinner
120
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,167
With all-you-can-eat salad bar
and baked potato,
121
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,036
All for $5.39?
122
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,838
The only ice you
should be worrying about
123
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,040
Is the ice
in your dr. Peppers!
124
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,441
Ritche: Yeah!
125
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,909
Dick: [on radio]
the avalon mall is closed.
126
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,377
Jade gardens is closed.
127
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,747
And the ponderosa has closed.
128
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:42,714
The magic wok has closed...
129
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,416
Aw, frig.
130
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:47,319
I'm just really sorry for you.
131
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,989
[radio static]
132
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,457
Good god!
133
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,992
Dead air!
134
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,860
I gotta get up to
the station, mary.
135
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,230
They're gonna need all hands
on deck for this one.
136
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,599
Happy friggin' anniversary.
137
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,967
Adult mark: In newfoundland,
we put salt on everything.
138
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:06,338
Fish, potatoes...
139
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,539
Mike sr: Augh!
140
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:08,740
Adult mark: And the steps.
141
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,743
Mike sr: Mary!
You didn't salt!
142
00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,278
Mike!
143
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,546
Mike sr: Ah, I packed my back!
144
00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:18,116
Abort mission!
Unplug the vcr!
145
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,418
Um, is it the red wire
or the white wire?
146
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,753
No time!
Just pull them all!
147
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,355
Just all of them!
148
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,556
Okay.
149
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,691
Mike sr: Aah, my back!
150
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:29,895
Oh god, my back!
151
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,496
Pop: Watch out.
Mike sr: Augh!
152
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,097
Mark: Are you okay, dad?
153
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,366
Pop: Alright, nice and easy.
154
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,367
Easy, easy.
155
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,769
Augh, god!
156
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,237
Augh!
157
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:42,040
Even your back
goes out more than I do.
158
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:46,645
Look, if you're not going
to the ponderosa, then...
159
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,312
What are we gonna do for supper?
160
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:49,715
Oh, jeez.
161
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:54,252
[phone rings]
162
00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,587
Hello?
It's young mike.
163
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:57,989
The station!
Give it, give it, give it!
164
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,259
Come on, will ya?
165
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,827
Hello?
166
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,862
The weight of the ice
toppled the power line, mike.
167
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,264
She's gone.
168
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,333
Mike sr: Yeah, so's my back.
I can't come up.
169
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:09,868
So, what do we do?
170
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,269
Mike sr: Alright,
listen carefully, dick!
171
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,938
You gotta go out to
the generator, alright?
172
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,406
There's a big yellow box.
173
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,541
Pull the lever inside
and the generator will kick in.
174
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,443
Right on, mike.
Thanks, dad.
175
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:21,279
I can get the generator going,
but she's old.
176
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,414
I'll have to stay up there
and keep an eye on her.
177
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,684
You'll have to go
on the air by yourself
178
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,219
Till the road's clear enough
to get someone else in.
179
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,822
But that could be all night!
180
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,725
You got the gift of the gab
from your old man...
181
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,027
And your mudder.
182
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,631
♪
183
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:43,568
[rain pouring]
184
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,371
After 20 friggin' years you'd
think I'd get one night off
185
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:47,906
For good behaviour.
186
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,842
Mike sr: [groans]
187
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,244
I guess we could watch
the movie that the boys got.
188
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,579
No!
189
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,913
Oh.
190
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,582
Aw, porky's.
191
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,218
The little pig
with the stutter, sin.
192
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,986
I could use a laugh.
193
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,455
How do you turn it on?
194
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:06,858
Uh, actually it won't work.
195
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:07,993
'cause of the storm, you know?
196
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,527
Yeah.
197
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,664
Oh, the doohickeys are out.
198
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,466
There.
199
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,201
Hm!
See?
200
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:20,071
When did you start
work at radio shack?
201
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:24,075
The fbi?
Is this even legal?
202
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,811
Adult mark: I never
needed therapy
203
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,413
Because I already know where
all my problems come from:
204
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:31,383
Watching porky's
with my parents!
205
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,786
Oh...
206
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,290
What did I miss?
207
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,757
Adult mark: A black out...
208
00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:42,093
Right before I would have
blacked out!
209
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,095
The damned thing blew a fuse!
210
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,430
I'll get it.
211
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,766
Dah... Aaaugh!
My back!
212
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,774
Adult mark: I prayed
the lights never came back.
213
00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:00,611
[phone ringing]
214
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,113
Mark: Come on, open!
Open up!
215
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,715
Hello?
216
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,584
Oh...
It's alice.
217
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,753
She says the power's out
all over the city.
218
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,922
That damn thing blew
the power for the whole city?
219
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,557
No!
It's because of the ice storm,
220
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,959
You stunned arse!
221
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,528
The tape's stuck inside!
222
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,663
We need to get it out before
the lights come back on!
223
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,666
We can't without power!
224
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,604
No!
225
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,272
You'll ruin my dad's tape!
226
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:30,508
My dad will ruin us
if he sees a b-o-o-b!
227
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,013
Okay, I have an idea.
228
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,415
Get me a butter knife.
229
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:38,383
Okay.
230
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,951
Okay, go.
231
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,954
It's gonna get cold,
so you better bundle up, hm?
232
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,889
Okay.
233
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,425
[chuckles]
come on, boys.
234
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,561
This is nothing!
235
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,830
You know, before he led
peary to the pole,
236
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,901
Captain bob bartlett and I
used to take the dog sleds
237
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,970
Way up north just to relax!
238
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,305
Yeah.
239
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,908
Of course when it got
really, really cold,
240
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,644
The dogs died.
241
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,581
Imagine being so desperate
for survival
242
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,250
That you eat your best friend.
243
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:15,787
First you lose your fingers...
244
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,923
Then you lose your toes...
245
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:23,728
Then finally... Your mind.
246
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:27,732
[slurps loudly]
247
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,335
Ooh...
248
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,869
Pineapple crush?
249
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,171
Hm?
250
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:42,580
[whirring and buzzing]
251
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,755
Uh, hello!
252
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:53,491
This is mike critch.
253
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:54,759
Not my dad, mike critch.
254
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,094
He's not with us.
255
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,697
The other mike critch, his son.
256
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,064
Me.
257
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,433
Um...
258
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:04,835
Do you have power where you are?
259
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:09,040
Call in and let me know.
260
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,816
Mike sr: Come on...
261
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,384
Old woman: [on radio]
it's so dark!
262
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:21,453
I'm froze to death!
I can't--
263
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,288
Vocm's back on!
264
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,190
Mike jr: It'll all be
over soon, ma'am.
265
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,058
I bet you've survived
worse than this.
266
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,460
Where the hell is dick?
267
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,795
It's a major news story,
he's got a child on the air!
268
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,330
Old woman: I was
a little girl then...
269
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,065
Mary: Aw!
Old woman: ...But I remembers!
270
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,467
Mike jr: You know what they say
271
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,001
About the weather
in newfoundland?
272
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,804
If you don't like the weather,
just wait a minute!
273
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,073
Oh, mike, our son's
on the radio!
274
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,942
Good god, he should be
interviewing the mayor,
275
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,543
Not some old bat!
276
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,012
I gotta get over there.
277
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,681
Mary: Ah, geez.
278
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:53,284
Mike jr: My pop says, tea is
the remedy to anything, huh?
279
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,720
Old woman: I'm scared
I'm gonna fall,
280
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:58,089
And I'm all alone.
281
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,290
Where you at, ma'am?
282
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,559
Old woman: 31 gower street.
283
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:04,228
Okay, if anyone's listening
around gower street,
284
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:07,165
And you've got spare blankets
or a kerosene heater
285
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,701
And you can get there,
we could really use your help.
286
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,369
Old woman: Oh,
bless your heart!
287
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:14,773
So sorry to hear your father
is no longer with us.
288
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,742
Oh! No, no, no, he's just--
[phone hangs up]
289
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:18,809
Mike jr: Mike critch junior...
290
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,178
He's up there
making an arse of it.
291
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,112
I gotta get up there.
292
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:22,413
Absolutely not!
293
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,414
Mike jr: The phone lines
are full right now--
294
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:26,518
Mary!
[radio switches off]
295
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,453
You boys are freezing.
Where are your blankets?
296
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,055
Where is that kerosene heater?
297
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,390
What are you doing?
298
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,392
Uh, nothing!
299
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,060
Just playing with knives!
300
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,463
Adult mark: Ritche wasn't
the sharpest knife in the vcr.
301
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,798
Uh...
302
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,067
It's so rare to have
the family all together,
303
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,803
With no tv to distract us.
304
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,337
This is quality time.
305
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,474
You know, we should be swapping
stories, trading tales,
306
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,075
Getting to know
each other better!
307
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,744
Well, sure, I know you,
308
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,879
But do I know-know you?
309
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,615
Well, for instance, dad,
what's your favourite colour?
310
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:58,949
I dunno.
311
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,017
Plaid.
312
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,085
Ask your mudder.
313
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,687
He's right.
314
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,889
Why be alone
on our 20th anniversary
315
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,758
When we can be with family?
316
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,026
And ritche.
317
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,494
[knife clanks down]
318
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,130
Alright, what do you wanna know?
319
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,333
Well... Is this the coldest
you've ever been?
320
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,501
Good god, no.
321
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,968
This is nothing
compared to greenland.
322
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:19,703
Greenland?
323
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,106
Oh, when were you in greenland?
324
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,641
Oh, years ago.
325
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,177
Before I met you.
With the yanks.
326
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,645
You guys don't really
want to hear
327
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,047
A bunch of old boring stories
from 30 years ago, do you?
328
00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,750
I do!
329
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,920
Well, I worked on some
american bases after the war.
330
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,456
Nothing special, just some...
331
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:41,726
Office administration.
332
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:43,994
I'm not supposed to say,
but what the hell.
333
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,464
It was a long time ago now.
334
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,900
In the 60's,
I worked at a secret base
335
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,536
Under the polar ice cap
in greenland.
336
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,671
Project ice worm,
they called it.
337
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,739
We had 600 nukes stored there.
338
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,275
You know,
in case of a war with russia.
339
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:02,213
You don't know cold until you've
experienced cold war cold.
340
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:05,749
Anyway, my point is,
it was freezing.
341
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,753
You were basically
a henchman in a bond movie!
342
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,421
Mike.
343
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:13,091
Twenty years of marriage,
and you never told me that!
344
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,258
Nukes!
345
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,459
Cool!
346
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,561
No.
347
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,162
That's not the important part.
348
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:22,500
The interesting thing is,
it was bitterly cold.
349
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,837
Adult mark: I thought I knew
everything about my father.
350
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,972
But I realized
I didn't know much at all.
351
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,574
What else?
352
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,442
You don't really want to hear
all this old stuff, do ya?
353
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,845
All: Yes!
Please.
354
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,747
[sighs]
alright.
355
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,249
Mike sr: Well, there was
this one time, I got the call.
356
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,684
Yes, sir.
357
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,719
Mike sr: Red alert.
358
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:44,255
A russian plane had
wandered into our airspace,
359
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,658
And for the first time ever,
it was all systems go!
360
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,726
Pop: Lord almighty!
361
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:52,063
Oh, it's sweltering in here!
362
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,732
I found these popsicles
in the freezer.
363
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,600
You better eat 'em
before they melt,
364
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,470
Which won't be long
in this heat!
365
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,972
Mmm, mm-hm.
366
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,708
Line 2, you're on the air!
367
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,142
Man: The missus just
went into labour
368
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:06,878
And the ambulance
can't get up the road!
369
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,279
Where're you at, sir?
370
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,348
Man: Downing street!
Mike jr: Okay!
371
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,217
Uh, if you can get to
downing street, we need shovels!
372
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,019
Woman: Honey, my contractions!
373
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:18,857
[screams]
374
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,458
Cold?
375
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,093
[exhales]
376
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,829
You can't even
see your breath in here.
377
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,164
I mean, you crowd,
you're so soft.
378
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:30,301
The great sealing disaster
of 1914.
379
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:33,771
Now, that was cold.
380
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:37,909
Men died hugging
each other for warmth.
381
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,244
They froze like that.
382
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,779
Should have seen them!
383
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:46,183
Being lowered from the deck
of their ship like statues.
384
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:52,256
[wind whistling eerily]
385
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,929
Mark... If we die,
386
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,830
You're not gonna let him
eat me, will you?
387
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,065
Don't let him distract you!
388
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,067
Think about porky's.
Stay warm that way.
389
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,735
And get that tape out!
390
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,538
Okay.
391
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,875
[grunts]
392
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,111
This isn't working!
393
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,745
I think I need
something smaller.
394
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,414
Oh.
395
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,549
I know.
A popsicle stick!
396
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,718
Popsicle stick...
397
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:24,822
♪
398
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:28,960
♪
399
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,561
Pop, you took the heater!
400
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,463
It's a million degrees
in here!
401
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,098
Close the door, b'y!
402
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,700
You're letting all the heat out!
403
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,505
E chicken.
404
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,976
Pop!
You're hogging all the heat!
405
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,945
You know, bob barlett
made over 40 expeditions
406
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:51,816
To the arctic,
and he died warm in his bed.
407
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:53,818
Do you know how he did that?
408
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:54,952
How?
409
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,588
Pop: Because when
the crap hit the fan,
410
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:01,258
He knew it was
every man for himself.
411
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:04,996
Adult mark: I was
too cold to argue.
412
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:09,000
♪
413
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:12,536
Ritche: I can feel
my nose again!
414
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,806
Mike jr: [on radio] dick dunphy,
if you can hear me...
415
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,407
Mike sr: Aah!
416
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,409
Mike jr: ...I could really use
a pee, so get back when you can.
417
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,945
Mike critch jr., keeping you
company in the dark!
418
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,747
Keep callin' in, folks.
419
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:23,948
You're really
the only way I know
420
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,149
If anyone out there
is listening!
421
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,417
You look like a beached whale.
422
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,618
I've gotta get to the station.
423
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,219
It's devolved into chaos!
424
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,155
Mike jr: [on radio] if anyone
spots a white tabby
425
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,491
In the east end,
her name is kat with a k.
426
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,225
Sounds like mike's
handling it just fine.
427
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:37,895
But I gotta...
428
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:40,631
You know, every year
on our anniversary,
429
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,700
You have to work.
430
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,571
And I say, "that's okay.
It's just our 18th."
431
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:51,909
Or, "that's fine.
It's only our 19th."
432
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:55,046
Well, now it's our
20th friggin' anniversary,
433
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,115
And the only thing
that gets your attention
434
00:16:57,117 --> 00:17:00,584
Is that packin' radio!
435
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,586
Mary?
436
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,456
Mary!
437
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,191
[grunts]
438
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,726
Mike jr: [on radio]
okay, what else? Um...
439
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,862
Oh, bell island ferries
are tied up for the night.
440
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,797
Adult mark: It took
a blackout to make dad
441
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,065
Finally see the light.
442
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,534
[grunting]
443
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,136
♪
444
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,273
Next caller, you're on!
445
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,077
Mayor: This is
the mayor calling.
446
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,879
Mr. Mayor!
Hello, sir!
447
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,547
Wha-- what can I do for you?
448
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:32,283
Mayor: Firstly, I want to
thank you and everyone at vocm.
449
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:34,752
You're the only station
still on the air.
450
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,353
We are?
451
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,122
Mayor: And condolences
on the loss of your father.
452
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:39,457
Big shoes to fill.
453
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,492
Oh, no, here's the thing.
He's not--
454
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,094
[phone hangs up]
455
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,496
And that was an exclusive
update from mayor murphy
456
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,965
On the only station
still on the air.
457
00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:49,366
So I guess...
458
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,035
We're number one!
459
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:54,438
This is mike critch
for the vocm news service.
460
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:57,608
Junior!
461
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,810
Mike critch, junior.
462
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,413
Pop?
Would you like a candle?
463
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,881
You shaggers!
464
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:07,184
Hey, don't tell mike
and come and join us.
465
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,721
Pick it up.
466
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,990
Mary: Boys, pick it up!
Mark: Mom!
467
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,992
Mary: Move!
Mark: Okay, okay, okay.
468
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,862
Never in my life
have I seen such selfish,
469
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:21,465
Greedy buggers as you lot!
470
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,601
What the frig
are you doing there?
471
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,137
Happy 20th anniversary, mary.
472
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,373
There's nobody
I'd rather be trapped with.
473
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:34,345
Did you crawl
all that way to do this?
474
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,947
Oh...
475
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:39,683
♪
476
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,285
Pop: Don't blow it out!
477
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,220
Argh, it's freezing in here!
478
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,688
Come here.
479
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,892
Remember what
captain bob bartlett said:
480
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,095
It's important to
share bodily heat.
481
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:54,064
Didn't he say it
was every man for himself?
482
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,299
Pop: Did he?
Mark: Yeah.
483
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,834
Pop: I don't remember that.
484
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,170
But my brain is frozen.
485
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,638
Here.
486
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,974
Oh, good.
487
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:08,379
I'm so sorry your anniversary
got ruined, mom.
488
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,248
You know, there's no better way
for me to spend it.
489
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,417
Just me and my family.
490
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,752
And ritche.
491
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,587
Yes!
492
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:17,888
[quietly]
oh, nice.
493
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,758
It's nice to be included.
494
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,994
Adult mark: I had started
asking questions to stall,
495
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:27,598
But now I was asking
questions to listen.
496
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,633
Mom, when did you two meet?
497
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:34,104
Well, that was a long,
long time ago.
498
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:37,408
I had just gotten
my first apartment.
499
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,610
And so, the fella
who used to live there,
500
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:43,681
He showed up at my door
and he wanted his mail.
501
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:48,352
So we got to talking,
and I gave him his letters,
502
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,888
And then he came back
the next week.
503
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:54,058
And the week after that.
504
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,928
Eventually he
asked me out to lunch.
505
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,630
I kept mailing myself letters
so I'd have an excuse
506
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:03,234
To talk to the gorgeous girl
in apartment 5.
507
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:07,338
You never told me that!
508
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:10,208
Mark: Well...
He's good at keeping secrets.
509
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:13,211
I mean, after all,
he was basically a spy.
510
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,846
Adult mark: Telling secrets,
sharing stories--
511
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,915
Connecting with
the people in your life
512
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,484
Can make the dark times
seem brighter.
513
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,752
[all gasp]
514
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,588
Mary: The power's back!
Pop: Hallelujah!
515
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,256
Turn the bloody heat up!
516
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,324
Mike jr: Hey!
517
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:27,658
Mary: Oh, thank god!
518
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:31,095
You're back in one piece,
my radio star!
519
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,463
I didn't really
do all that much.
520
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,465
I just let everyone else
do the talking.
521
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:37,268
Ah, the most important part
of reporting isn't talking.
522
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,403
It's listening.
523
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,905
Oh, that reminds me: The news!
524
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,874
Adult mark: The best
movies I'd ever seen
525
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:46,877
Lived in my family's memories.
526
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:51,082
Who needed porky's when you
had stories about bob bartlett,
527
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:55,185
Secret bases, and romance?
528
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,421
You know, there's a part
of me that almost wishes
529
00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:01,659
That the power
would go back out.
530
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:04,428
Yeah, me too.
531
00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:06,430
Oh, sweet!
You guys got porky's!
532
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,498
Mark: No, don't!
Ritche: No!
533
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:11,635
Mike sr: Oh no, that's just
some old cartoon the kids got.
534
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:15,973
[upbeat funk music playing]
535
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,709
Good god, is that a boob?
536
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:27,852
♪
537
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:32,056
♪
538
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:36,327
♪
539
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:40,531
♪
540
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,735
♪
541
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:48,405
♪
542
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,908
♪