1 00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:05,537 [lock jiggling] 2 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,906 Adult mark: The old man slept like a baby. 3 00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,875 A teething baby. 4 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,143 [quietly] locked. 5 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,710 Unlocked. 6 00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:14,379 Locked. Unlocked. 7 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:15,914 Adult mark: Dad couldn't sleep until he double-checked, 8 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:18,049 Triple-checked, and quadruple-checked the locks. 9 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,184 Mike sr: Off. 10 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,719 Off. 11 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,788 Adult mark: And checked and blessed every burner. 12 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,990 ...The father, son, and holy ghost... 13 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,659 Mary: Will you quit packin' around and come to bed? 14 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,994 Pop: Shut up! I'm trying to sleep! 15 00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,264 Shut up yourself, you old coot! 16 00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,600 Adult mark: Everything in the house had to be unplugged. 17 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,268 Father, son, and the holy ghost. Off! 18 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,537 Adult mark: Dad worked on american bases during the war, 19 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,406 And the army safety films had burned themselves 20 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,774 Into his brain. 21 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,544 Announcer: Plug in that christmas tree, and whammo! 22 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,615 This gi's christmas has gone up in smoke! 23 00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:50,749 [door slams] [mary gasps] 24 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,150 Pop: For crying out loud! 25 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,752 Mike jr: Sorry, sorry! 26 00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:57,956 Better make sure that door's locked. 27 00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,425 Oh, for frig's sake! 28 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,927 Mike sr: Locked... Unlocked... 29 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:05,464 Locked... Unlocked... 30 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,733 Locked... Unlocked... 31 00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:11,002 Mary: Mike, honey, get your arse in gear. 32 00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:12,571 The cab'll be here soon! 33 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,706 Adult mark: Normally there was no privacy at all 34 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,776 In our little house, but this night was a perfect storm. 35 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,445 My brother was working the night shift 36 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,512 At the radio station, 37 00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,648 Pop would be asleep by 7, 38 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,717 And my folks were celebrating their 20th anniversary 39 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,219 By going somewhere they'd never been... 40 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:28,520 Out! 41 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,589 Mike sr: I don't know, mary. Freezing rain. 42 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,857 It's gettin' pretty greasy out. 43 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,992 Well, that's why we're taking a cab! 44 00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:36,528 That and I plan on having two fuzzy navels. 45 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,330 Oh, a night out! 46 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,797 I don't care if it's spitting lava. 47 00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,867 I'm having fun! 48 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:43,535 Mark! 49 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,537 You and ritche enjoy your movie and behave yourselves. 50 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:46,872 Mark: Sure, mom. 51 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,274 Can't wait. 52 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:53,879 Adult mark: We pooled our money to rent a vcr! 53 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:57,482 With no one watching us, we could watch what we wanted. 54 00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:58,817 Porky's. 55 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,286 The citizen kane of teen sex comedies. 56 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,421 Ritche "borrowed" his dad's copy. 57 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:07,493 ♪ 58 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:11,563 ♪ 59 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,265 ♪ 60 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,334 Uh, I don't know, ritche. 61 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,501 It's rated r. 62 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,236 That means we need parental guidance. 63 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,639 This thing is supposed to be filthy! 64 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,741 You want to see boobies with your parents at home? 65 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,276 Adult mark: I was getting cold feet, 66 00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:25,777 But ritche was boiling over. 67 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:28,380 Gross! No! 68 00:02:28,515 --> 00:02:29,915 This is supposed to be the biggest film 69 00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:31,649 In canadian history. 70 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,052 I'm strictly interested in the comedic elements. 71 00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,254 It's research. 72 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,455 Sure. Okay. 73 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,791 You close your eyes when there's boobies, then. 74 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,793 Let's not get carried away. 75 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:45,130 ♪ 76 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:48,033 ♪ 77 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:54,406 Hell of a bad night. 78 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,807 Hey, look at the wires on that thing! 79 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,542 My god, you're gonna blow a fuse! 80 00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,344 News anchor: A storm warning tonight across the province, 81 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,879 As extreme weather is expected to continue. 82 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,414 Power lines are already... 83 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,883 Mike sr: This could be the worst ice storm we've ever seen. 84 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,352 Pop: Pssht, I've seen worse storms in a snow globe! 85 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,087 News anchor: [on tv] high winds, black ice, 86 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,122 Freezing rain, and poor visibility. 87 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:14,325 The rnc are encouraging drivers to stay where you're to. 88 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,094 Mary... 89 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,496 I think we should stay home out of it. 90 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,130 This is a death trap. 91 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,700 I'm not staying here on our 20th anniversary! 92 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:24,335 People on death row gets out more than I do! 93 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,037 Uh, she has a point, dad. 94 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,439 It's ponderosa! 95 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,574 Twenty years of marriage is a long time, 96 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,510 But I hear the salad bar is endless! 97 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,179 What's a little freezin' rain? 98 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,115 Pop: The boy's right, you know? This is nothing. 99 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:40,652 I mean, when I was his age, we didn't even have electricity. 100 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,721 I had to use an outhouse! 101 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,524 Oh no, once it was so cold, 102 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,527 I went out to have a pee and it froze. 103 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:52,163 I had to break it off midstream! 104 00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:54,866 Dick: [on radio] kiwanis club bingo night is cancelled. 105 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,536 The bonavista Sunday stitch & bitch is cancelled. 106 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,870 It's bad out there, folks! 107 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,139 Since when do you listen to dick dunphy? 108 00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,874 I think it's clearing up. 109 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,342 Mike sr: Mary... 110 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,012 I just saw the light and power boys go up the road. 111 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,181 They'll have the lights back on by the time we gets there. 112 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:10,282 Mary... 113 00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,750 I know. 114 00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:15,253 I'm never gonna see the inside of that packin' ponderosa. 115 00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:18,022 Adult mark: And I'd never see the outside of kim cattrall. 116 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,358 They couldn't stay! 117 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,693 Did you give up on 20 years of marriage 118 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,428 When things got tough? 119 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,231 Queen-size-cut prime rib dinner 120 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,167 With all-you-can-eat salad bar and baked potato, 121 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,036 All for $5.39? 122 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,838 The only ice you should be worrying about 123 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,040 Is the ice in your dr. Peppers! 124 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,441 Ritche: Yeah! 125 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,909 Dick: [on radio] the avalon mall is closed. 126 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,377 Jade gardens is closed. 127 00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,747 And the ponderosa has closed. 128 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:42,714 The magic wok has closed... 129 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,416 Aw, frig. 130 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:47,319 I'm just really sorry for you. 131 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,989 [radio static] 132 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,457 Good god! 133 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,992 Dead air! 134 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,860 I gotta get up to the station, mary. 135 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,230 They're gonna need all hands on deck for this one. 136 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,599 Happy friggin' anniversary. 137 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,967 Adult mark: In newfoundland, we put salt on everything. 138 00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:06,338 Fish, potatoes... 139 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,539 Mike sr: Augh! 140 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:08,740 Adult mark: And the steps. 141 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,743 Mike sr: Mary! You didn't salt! 142 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,278 Mike! 143 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,546 Mike sr: Ah, I packed my back! 144 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:18,116 Abort mission! Unplug the vcr! 145 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,418 Um, is it the red wire or the white wire? 146 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,753 No time! Just pull them all! 147 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,355 Just all of them! 148 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,556 Okay. 149 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,691 Mike sr: Aah, my back! 150 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:29,895 Oh god, my back! 151 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,496 Pop: Watch out. Mike sr: Augh! 152 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,097 Mark: Are you okay, dad? 153 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,366 Pop: Alright, nice and easy. 154 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,367 Easy, easy. 155 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,769 Augh, god! 156 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,237 Augh! 157 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:42,040 Even your back goes out more than I do. 158 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:46,645 Look, if you're not going to the ponderosa, then... 159 00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,312 What are we gonna do for supper? 160 00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:49,715 Oh, jeez. 161 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:54,252 [phone rings] 162 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:56,587 Hello? It's young mike. 163 00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:57,989 The station! Give it, give it, give it! 164 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,259 Come on, will ya? 165 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,827 Hello? 166 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,862 The weight of the ice toppled the power line, mike. 167 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,264 She's gone. 168 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:08,333 Mike sr: Yeah, so's my back. I can't come up. 169 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:09,868 So, what do we do? 170 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,269 Mike sr: Alright, listen carefully, dick! 171 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,938 You gotta go out to the generator, alright? 172 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,406 There's a big yellow box. 173 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,541 Pull the lever inside and the generator will kick in. 174 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,443 Right on, mike. Thanks, dad. 175 00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:21,279 I can get the generator going, but she's old. 176 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,414 I'll have to stay up there and keep an eye on her. 177 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,684 You'll have to go on the air by yourself 178 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,219 Till the road's clear enough to get someone else in. 179 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,822 But that could be all night! 180 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,725 You got the gift of the gab from your old man... 181 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,027 And your mudder. 182 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,631 ♪ 183 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:43,568 [rain pouring] 184 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,371 After 20 friggin' years you'd think I'd get one night off 185 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:47,906 For good behaviour. 186 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,842 Mike sr: [groans] 187 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,244 I guess we could watch the movie that the boys got. 188 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,579 No! 189 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,913 Oh. 190 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,582 Aw, porky's. 191 00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,218 The little pig with the stutter, sin. 192 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,986 I could use a laugh. 193 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:03,455 How do you turn it on? 194 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:06,858 Uh, actually it won't work. 195 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:07,993 'cause of the storm, you know? 196 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,527 Yeah. 197 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,664 Oh, the doohickeys are out. 198 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,466 There. 199 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,201 Hm! See? 200 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:20,071 When did you start work at radio shack? 201 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:24,075 The fbi? Is this even legal? 202 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,811 Adult mark: I never needed therapy 203 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,413 Because I already know where all my problems come from: 204 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:31,383 Watching porky's with my parents! 205 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,786 Oh... 206 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,290 What did I miss? 207 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:39,757 Adult mark: A black out... 208 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:42,093 Right before I would have blacked out! 209 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,095 The damned thing blew a fuse! 210 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,430 I'll get it. 211 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:48,766 Dah... Aaaugh! My back! 212 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,774 Adult mark: I prayed the lights never came back. 213 00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:00,611 [phone ringing] 214 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,113 Mark: Come on, open! Open up! 215 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,715 Hello? 216 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,584 Oh... It's alice. 217 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,753 She says the power's out all over the city. 218 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,922 That damn thing blew the power for the whole city? 219 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,557 No! It's because of the ice storm, 220 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,959 You stunned arse! 221 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,528 The tape's stuck inside! 222 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,663 We need to get it out before the lights come back on! 223 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,666 We can't without power! 224 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,604 No! 225 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,272 You'll ruin my dad's tape! 226 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:30,508 My dad will ruin us if he sees a b-o-o-b! 227 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,013 Okay, I have an idea. 228 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,415 Get me a butter knife. 229 00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:38,383 Okay. 230 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,951 Okay, go. 231 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,954 It's gonna get cold, so you better bundle up, hm? 232 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,889 Okay. 233 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,425 [chuckles] come on, boys. 234 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,561 This is nothing! 235 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,830 You know, before he led peary to the pole, 236 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,901 Captain bob bartlett and I used to take the dog sleds 237 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,970 Way up north just to relax! 238 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,305 Yeah. 239 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,908 Of course when it got really, really cold, 240 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,644 The dogs died. 241 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,581 Imagine being so desperate for survival 242 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,250 That you eat your best friend. 243 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:15,787 First you lose your fingers... 244 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,923 Then you lose your toes... 245 00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:23,728 Then finally... Your mind. 246 00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:27,732 [slurps loudly] 247 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,335 Ooh... 248 00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,869 Pineapple crush? 249 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,171 Hm? 250 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:42,580 [whirring and buzzing] 251 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,755 Uh, hello! 252 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:53,491 This is mike critch. 253 00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:54,759 Not my dad, mike critch. 254 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,094 He's not with us. 255 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,697 The other mike critch, his son. 256 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,064 Me. 257 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,433 Um... 258 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:04,835 Do you have power where you are? 259 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:09,040 Call in and let me know. 260 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,816 Mike sr: Come on... 261 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,384 Old woman: [on radio] it's so dark! 262 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:21,453 I'm froze to death! I can't-- 263 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,288 Vocm's back on! 264 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,190 Mike jr: It'll all be over soon, ma'am. 265 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,058 I bet you've survived worse than this. 266 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,460 Where the hell is dick? 267 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,795 It's a major news story, he's got a child on the air! 268 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,330 Old woman: I was a little girl then... 269 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,065 Mary: Aw! Old woman: ...But I remembers! 270 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,467 Mike jr: You know what they say 271 00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,001 About the weather in newfoundland? 272 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,804 If you don't like the weather, just wait a minute! 273 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,073 Oh, mike, our son's on the radio! 274 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,942 Good god, he should be interviewing the mayor, 275 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,543 Not some old bat! 276 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:48,012 I gotta get over there. 277 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,681 Mary: Ah, geez. 278 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:53,284 Mike jr: My pop says, tea is the remedy to anything, huh? 279 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,720 Old woman: I'm scared I'm gonna fall, 280 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:58,089 And I'm all alone. 281 00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,290 Where you at, ma'am? 282 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,559 Old woman: 31 gower street. 283 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:04,228 Okay, if anyone's listening around gower street, 284 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:07,165 And you've got spare blankets or a kerosene heater 285 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,701 And you can get there, we could really use your help. 286 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,369 Old woman: Oh, bless your heart! 287 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:14,773 So sorry to hear your father is no longer with us. 288 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,742 Oh! No, no, no, he's just-- [phone hangs up] 289 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:18,809 Mike jr: Mike critch junior... 290 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,178 He's up there making an arse of it. 291 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,112 I gotta get up there. 292 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:22,413 Absolutely not! 293 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,414 Mike jr: The phone lines are full right now-- 294 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:26,518 Mary! [radio switches off] 295 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,453 You boys are freezing. Where are your blankets? 296 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,055 Where is that kerosene heater? 297 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,390 What are you doing? 298 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,392 Uh, nothing! 299 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,060 Just playing with knives! 300 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,463 Adult mark: Ritche wasn't the sharpest knife in the vcr. 301 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,798 Uh... 302 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,067 It's so rare to have the family all together, 303 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,803 With no tv to distract us. 304 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,337 This is quality time. 305 00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,474 You know, we should be swapping stories, trading tales, 306 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,075 Getting to know each other better! 307 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,744 Well, sure, I know you, 308 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,879 But do I know-know you? 309 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,615 Well, for instance, dad, what's your favourite colour? 310 00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:58,949 I dunno. 311 00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,017 Plaid. 312 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,085 Ask your mudder. 313 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,687 He's right. 314 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,889 Why be alone on our 20th anniversary 315 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,758 When we can be with family? 316 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,026 And ritche. 317 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,494 [knife clanks down] 318 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,130 Alright, what do you wanna know? 319 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,333 Well... Is this the coldest you've ever been? 320 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,501 Good god, no. 321 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,968 This is nothing compared to greenland. 322 00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:19,703 Greenland? 323 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:22,106 Oh, when were you in greenland? 324 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,641 Oh, years ago. 325 00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,177 Before I met you. With the yanks. 326 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,645 You guys don't really want to hear 327 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,047 A bunch of old boring stories from 30 years ago, do you? 328 00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:32,750 I do! 329 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,920 Well, I worked on some american bases after the war. 330 00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,456 Nothing special, just some... 331 00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:41,726 Office administration. 332 00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:43,994 I'm not supposed to say, but what the hell. 333 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,464 It was a long time ago now. 334 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,900 In the 60's, I worked at a secret base 335 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,536 Under the polar ice cap in greenland. 336 00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,671 Project ice worm, they called it. 337 00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,739 We had 600 nukes stored there. 338 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,275 You know, in case of a war with russia. 339 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:02,213 You don't know cold until you've experienced cold war cold. 340 00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:05,749 Anyway, my point is, it was freezing. 341 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:08,753 You were basically a henchman in a bond movie! 342 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,421 Mike. 343 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:13,091 Twenty years of marriage, and you never told me that! 344 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,258 Nukes! 345 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,459 Cool! 346 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,561 No. 347 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,162 That's not the important part. 348 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:22,500 The interesting thing is, it was bitterly cold. 349 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,837 Adult mark: I thought I knew everything about my father. 350 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,972 But I realized I didn't know much at all. 351 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,574 What else? 352 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,442 You don't really want to hear all this old stuff, do ya? 353 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,845 All: Yes! Please. 354 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,747 [sighs] alright. 355 00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,249 Mike sr: Well, there was this one time, I got the call. 356 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,684 Yes, sir. 357 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,719 Mike sr: Red alert. 358 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:44,255 A russian plane had wandered into our airspace, 359 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,658 And for the first time ever, it was all systems go! 360 00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,726 Pop: Lord almighty! 361 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:52,063 Oh, it's sweltering in here! 362 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,732 I found these popsicles in the freezer. 363 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,600 You better eat 'em before they melt, 364 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,470 Which won't be long in this heat! 365 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,972 Mmm, mm-hm. 366 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,708 Line 2, you're on the air! 367 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,142 Man: The missus just went into labour 368 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:06,878 And the ambulance can't get up the road! 369 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,279 Where're you at, sir? 370 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,348 Man: Downing street! Mike jr: Okay! 371 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,217 Uh, if you can get to downing street, we need shovels! 372 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,019 Woman: Honey, my contractions! 373 00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:18,857 [screams] 374 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,458 Cold? 375 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,093 [exhales] 376 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,829 You can't even see your breath in here. 377 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,164 I mean, you crowd, you're so soft. 378 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:30,301 The great sealing disaster of 1914. 379 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:33,771 Now, that was cold. 380 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:37,909 Men died hugging each other for warmth. 381 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,244 They froze like that. 382 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,779 Should have seen them! 383 00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:46,183 Being lowered from the deck of their ship like statues. 384 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:52,256 [wind whistling eerily] 385 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,929 Mark... If we die, 386 00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,830 You're not gonna let him eat me, will you? 387 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,065 Don't let him distract you! 388 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,067 Think about porky's. Stay warm that way. 389 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:04,735 And get that tape out! 390 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,538 Okay. 391 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,875 [grunts] 392 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,111 This isn't working! 393 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,745 I think I need something smaller. 394 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,414 Oh. 395 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,549 I know. A popsicle stick! 396 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,718 Popsicle stick... 397 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:24,822 ♪ 398 00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:28,960 ♪ 399 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,561 Pop, you took the heater! 400 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,463 It's a million degrees in here! 401 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,098 Close the door, b'y! 402 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,700 You're letting all the heat out! 403 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,505 E chicken. 404 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,976 Pop! You're hogging all the heat! 405 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,945 You know, bob barlett made over 40 expeditions 406 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:51,816 To the arctic, and he died warm in his bed. 407 00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:53,818 Do you know how he did that? 408 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:54,952 How? 409 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,588 Pop: Because when the crap hit the fan, 410 00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:01,258 He knew it was every man for himself. 411 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:04,996 Adult mark: I was too cold to argue. 412 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:09,000 ♪ 413 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:12,536 Ritche: I can feel my nose again! 414 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,806 Mike jr: [on radio] dick dunphy, if you can hear me... 415 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,407 Mike sr: Aah! 416 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,409 Mike jr: ...I could really use a pee, so get back when you can. 417 00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,945 Mike critch jr., keeping you company in the dark! 418 00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,747 Keep callin' in, folks. 419 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:23,948 You're really the only way I know 420 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,149 If anyone out there is listening! 421 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,417 You look like a beached whale. 422 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,618 I've gotta get to the station. 423 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,219 It's devolved into chaos! 424 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,155 Mike jr: [on radio] if anyone spots a white tabby 425 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,491 In the east end, her name is kat with a k. 426 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,225 Sounds like mike's handling it just fine. 427 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:37,895 But I gotta... 428 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:40,631 You know, every year on our anniversary, 429 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,700 You have to work. 430 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,571 And I say, "that's okay. It's just our 18th." 431 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:51,909 Or, "that's fine. It's only our 19th." 432 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:55,046 Well, now it's our 20th friggin' anniversary, 433 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,115 And the only thing that gets your attention 434 00:16:57,117 --> 00:17:00,584 Is that packin' radio! 435 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,586 Mary? 436 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,456 Mary! 437 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,191 [grunts] 438 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,726 Mike jr: [on radio] okay, what else? Um... 439 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,862 Oh, bell island ferries are tied up for the night. 440 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,797 Adult mark: It took a blackout to make dad 441 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,065 Finally see the light. 442 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,534 [grunting] 443 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,136 ♪ 444 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,273 Next caller, you're on! 445 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,077 Mayor: This is the mayor calling. 446 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,879 Mr. Mayor! Hello, sir! 447 00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:29,547 Wha-- what can I do for you? 448 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:32,283 Mayor: Firstly, I want to thank you and everyone at vocm. 449 00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:34,752 You're the only station still on the air. 450 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,353 We are? 451 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,122 Mayor: And condolences on the loss of your father. 452 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:39,457 Big shoes to fill. 453 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,492 Oh, no, here's the thing. He's not-- 454 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,094 [phone hangs up] 455 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,496 And that was an exclusive update from mayor murphy 456 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,965 On the only station still on the air. 457 00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:49,366 So I guess... 458 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,035 We're number one! 459 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:54,438 This is mike critch for the vocm news service. 460 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:57,608 Junior! 461 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,810 Mike critch, junior. 462 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,413 Pop? Would you like a candle? 463 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,881 You shaggers! 464 00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:07,184 Hey, don't tell mike and come and join us. 465 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,721 Pick it up. 466 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,990 Mary: Boys, pick it up! Mark: Mom! 467 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,992 Mary: Move! Mark: Okay, okay, okay. 468 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,862 Never in my life have I seen such selfish, 469 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:21,465 Greedy buggers as you lot! 470 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,601 What the frig are you doing there? 471 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,137 Happy 20th anniversary, mary. 472 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:29,373 There's nobody I'd rather be trapped with. 473 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:34,345 Did you crawl all that way to do this? 474 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,947 Oh... 475 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:39,683 ♪ 476 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,285 Pop: Don't blow it out! 477 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:43,220 Argh, it's freezing in here! 478 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,688 Come here. 479 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:47,892 Remember what captain bob bartlett said: 480 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:51,095 It's important to share bodily heat. 481 00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:54,064 Didn't he say it was every man for himself? 482 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,299 Pop: Did he? Mark: Yeah. 483 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,834 Pop: I don't remember that. 484 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,170 But my brain is frozen. 485 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,638 Here. 486 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,974 Oh, good. 487 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:08,379 I'm so sorry your anniversary got ruined, mom. 488 00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:11,248 You know, there's no better way for me to spend it. 489 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,417 Just me and my family. 490 00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,752 And ritche. 491 00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,587 Yes! 492 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:17,888 [quietly] oh, nice. 493 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,758 It's nice to be included. 494 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,994 Adult mark: I had started asking questions to stall, 495 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:27,598 But now I was asking questions to listen. 496 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,633 Mom, when did you two meet? 497 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:34,104 Well, that was a long, long time ago. 498 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:37,408 I had just gotten my first apartment. 499 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:39,610 And so, the fella who used to live there, 500 00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:43,681 He showed up at my door and he wanted his mail. 501 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:48,352 So we got to talking, and I gave him his letters, 502 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,888 And then he came back the next week. 503 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:54,058 And the week after that. 504 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,928 Eventually he asked me out to lunch. 505 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,630 I kept mailing myself letters so I'd have an excuse 506 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:03,234 To talk to the gorgeous girl in apartment 5. 507 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:07,338 You never told me that! 508 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:10,208 Mark: Well... He's good at keeping secrets. 509 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:13,211 I mean, after all, he was basically a spy. 510 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,846 Adult mark: Telling secrets, sharing stories-- 511 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,915 Connecting with the people in your life 512 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,484 Can make the dark times seem brighter. 513 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,752 [all gasp] 514 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,588 Mary: The power's back! Pop: Hallelujah! 515 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,256 Turn the bloody heat up! 516 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,324 Mike jr: Hey! 517 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:27,658 Mary: Oh, thank god! 518 00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:31,095 You're back in one piece, my radio star! 519 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,463 I didn't really do all that much. 520 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,465 I just let everyone else do the talking. 521 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:37,268 Ah, the most important part of reporting isn't talking. 522 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,403 It's listening. 523 00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,905 Oh, that reminds me: The news! 524 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,874 Adult mark: The best movies I'd ever seen 525 00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:46,877 Lived in my family's memories. 526 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:51,082 Who needed porky's when you had stories about bob bartlett, 527 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:55,185 Secret bases, and romance? 528 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,421 You know, there's a part of me that almost wishes 529 00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:01,659 That the power would go back out. 530 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:04,428 Yeah, me too. 531 00:21:04,563 --> 00:21:06,430 Oh, sweet! You guys got porky's! 532 00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,498 Mark: No, don't! Ritche: No! 533 00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:11,635 Mike sr: Oh no, that's just some old cartoon the kids got. 534 00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:15,973 [upbeat funk music playing] 535 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,709 Good god, is that a boob? 536 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:27,852 ♪ 537 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:32,056 ♪ 538 00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:36,327 ♪ 539 00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:40,531 ♪ 540 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,735 ♪ 541 00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:48,405 ♪ 542 00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,908 ♪