1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,968 Dick: [radio] it's the first day of school 2 00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:04,302 In the capital city, 3 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:06,304 So keep an eye peeled for the youngsters on the roads. 4 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,907 Adult mark (v.O.): The only way to download a song in 1988 5 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,708 Was to tape it off the radio. 6 00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:13,145 You had to press record at just the right moment 7 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:16,781 Like indiana jones swapping a bag of sand for a golden statue. 8 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:19,184 Dick: [radio] here's the beach boys at number one 9 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:22,087 With "kokomo," on the mighty vocm! 10 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:27,359 ["kokomo" playing] 11 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:31,529 ♪ aruba, jamaica, ooh, I wanna take ya ♪ 12 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:35,633 ♪ bermuda, bahama, come on, pretty mama ♪ 13 00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:39,871 ♪ key largo, montego, baby, why don't we go? ♪ 14 00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,474 ♪ jamaica, up the florida keys... ♪ 15 00:00:43,944 --> 00:00:45,310 Mark, honey! 16 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:46,878 Breakfast! 17 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:48,547 Oh... 18 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,215 -[muffled singing] -[knocks] 19 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,818 Mark? 20 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,220 Mark...? 21 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,289 [muffled singing continues] 22 00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,256 Hm. 23 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,693 ♪ bodies in the sand... 24 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,495 ["kokomo" playing on radio] 25 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,697 ♪ tropical drink melting in your hand... ♪ 26 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,699 Mark's got his door locked. 27 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,767 -Well, the boy needs his privacy. 28 00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:12,704 Besides, if there was any pornography in there, 29 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,239 I think I would have found it. 30 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,308 -I don't want to think about that! 31 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,310 -What if he knocks over a candle or something? 32 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,645 He could have a seizure. 33 00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,379 Whole house could burn down. 34 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,315 -What are you gonna do with that, stab him? 35 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:26,185 -I'm gonna pop the lock. -No! 36 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,853 There's a better way. 37 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,388 ["kokomo" playing] 38 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,524 Adult mark (v.O.): Every boy dreams of rock stardom. 39 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,493 - ♪ and then we'll take it slow ♪ 40 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:38,330 ♪ that's where we wanna go 41 00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:41,300 ♪ way down in kokomo 42 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,435 [audience cheering] 43 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,004 ♪ 44 00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:48,607 Adult mark (v.O.): In my dreams, I got the girls. 45 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:52,344 In reality, I was a gangly teen who had to turn up the music 46 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:56,748 To drown out the cracking sound of his own bones growing. 47 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,852 I could live out my dreams in the privacy of my room... 48 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:02,020 [loud tapping] 49 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,055 [mary giggling] 50 00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,490 -Aah! 51 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,963 Adult mark (v.O.): My last year of junior high 52 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,432 Couldn't possibly be more embarrassing than my house. 53 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,634 Dick: [radio] that's the beach boys, on the new... 54 00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:17,769 Adult mark (v.O.): My growth spurt meant new clothes. 55 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:20,839 New year, new jacket, new me. 56 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,544 My brother had graduated as well... 57 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,913 To the co-host chair on the morning show. 58 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:30,448 -You're listening to the new vo morning show 59 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,384 With mike and dick. 60 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,786 -That's right! With dick and mike. 61 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:37,856 -One good morning, two great hosts! 62 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:42,594 -One main host, and one sidekick. 63 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:45,463 Adult mark (v.O.): But mike was growing too fast for dick. 64 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,401 I could take any seat I wanted, 65 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:52,537 But there was only one seat worthy of a grade nine. 66 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:53,938 Fox: Mark! 67 00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,040 Over here! 68 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:59,411 Grade nine means we get the back of the bus now. 69 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,679 [laughs] 70 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,783 -New coat? -Oh, yeah, it's suede. 71 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,084 The thinking man's leather. 72 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,352 Picked it out myself. 73 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:09,488 Let's just say my tailor is "tip top." 74 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,957 I'm finally big enough to wear a men's small. 75 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:15,460 I've decided to focus more on my "look" this year. 76 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,963 -It's... Different. 77 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:20,699 -Thanks. 78 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,934 Where's your other brother? 79 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,134 -He dropped out. 80 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,304 -He says school is for losers. 81 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,573 -Well, he'd know losers. 82 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,709 Uh, I mean, good for him. 83 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,843 Best wishes in all things. 84 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,313 Adult mark (v.O.): We were the oldest on the bus. 85 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,847 With no natural predators left, 86 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:39,518 I was the silverback gorilla. 87 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:40,885 Or so I thought. 88 00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:42,520 -Is that coat your mudder's? 89 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,756 'cause ya looks like an old woman, b'y. 90 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,525 Middle fox: Hey, frig off bullying mark! 91 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,193 He's a grade nine now. 92 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,662 Adult mark (v.O.): Even my old bully respected me now. 93 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,797 Mark: Yeah... 94 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,031 Frig off! 95 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,033 Adult mark (v.O.): Top of the food chain. 96 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:59,538 -Big mistake. I owns you now. 97 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,641 Critch is my bitch. 98 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:06,011 ♪ 99 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,280 ♪ 100 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:12,150 -And that's the morning show with dick dunphy. 101 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,685 -And mike critch. 102 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:17,789 Stick around, the news is up next, with mike critch. 103 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,893 [jingle playing] 104 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,562 -I'm gutfounded. 105 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,902 -What's in the can? -Don't know yet. 106 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,604 I buys 'em without the labels. 107 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,572 Eight for a dollar. 108 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,475 Let me give you another piece of advice. 109 00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,677 -Well, that one was so good, so, yeah, please. 110 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,778 -We can't have two mike critches on the air. 111 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,147 It confuses people. 112 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,581 Jeez, b'y! 113 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:44,949 It confuses me! 114 00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:47,552 Yes, soup! 115 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,187 -Great job, mike! 116 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,590 Two mike critches on the air. You know what they calls that? 117 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,024 A dynasty! 118 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,560 -Shag that. You needs a new name, b'y. 119 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,196 Announcer: [radio] vocm, award-winning news. 120 00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,664 -Wolfman jack? 121 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,133 Not his real name. 122 00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:04,469 Even I uses a radio name. 123 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:05,837 -Wait... Wait, wait, wait. 124 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,006 Dick dunphy's not your real name? 125 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,141 -Nope. 126 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,816 It's richard. 127 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,519 Whoa. 128 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:24,956 I'm mike critch. 129 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,625 Uh, not the mike critch who was just on. 130 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,926 That's my son, mike critch. 131 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,897 And now, the vocm news with mike critch. 132 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,099 Cats! How many is too many? 133 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,835 The spca says 13 is the magic... 134 00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:41,038 ♪ 135 00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:44,175 ♪ 136 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,478 Grade nine! Can you believe it? 137 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,279 Everyone's afraid of me now. 138 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,081 -Hah! -[kid yelps] 139 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,149 It's awesome! 140 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,051 -Well, well, well. 141 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,687 Look at this sooky little baby. 142 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,223 Uh, I thought you dropped out. 143 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,058 Silver fox: I did. School's for suckers. 144 00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:03,161 -High school was too hard for him. 145 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,662 He was getting picked on. 146 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,030 -Shut up! 147 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,733 I just wouldn't be caught dead hanging around 148 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,000 A bunch'a losers, is all. 149 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,502 -So, why are you still here, then? 150 00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:11,770 -I'm not. 151 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:12,971 You are. 152 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,840 -It's called a "drop out," not a "drop in." 153 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,073 Mr. Chafe: Hey! 154 00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,876 What are you doing here on school grounds? 155 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,277 You're not allowed here! Now, go on! 156 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,078 -Losers! 157 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,083 Fox: Twins. Cute. 158 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,752 You guys shop at the same salvation army? 159 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:28,887 -Uh, uh... 160 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:31,156 [laughter] 161 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,026 I mean... 162 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:37,028 It makes you look grown up. 163 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,296 But... 164 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,631 Maybe too much? 165 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,065 Mr. Chafe: Ah, it's nice threads! 166 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,034 Sidewalk sale, right? 167 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,971 -Uh, sir, I think this is a young person's coat. 168 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,338 You might want to reconsider. 169 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,307 I wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself. 170 00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,742 -Do you have protection? 171 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,277 -Protection? 172 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,012 As a catholic, we are taught not to-- 173 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,080 -It might rain later on. 174 00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:57,215 The suede'll be ruined. 175 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,583 -Uh... 176 00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,852 Oh, that stinks! 177 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,554 -Well, that's how you know it's working, b'y! 178 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,990 -Yeah, okay-- 179 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,726 -Get my back. 180 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,928 -Okay... 181 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:10,928 Adult mark (v.O.): Scotchgarding 182 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:12,864 The vice principal is not how I expected 183 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,232 To start my senior year. 184 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,200 -Thank you. 185 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,669 Baby fox: Nice coat, mrs.! 186 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,938 [laughter] 187 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,574 Adult mark (v.O.): Top of the food chain. 188 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:28,312 Baby fox: Yes, now! Come on with it! 189 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:29,981 Aaah! 190 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:32,150 Come back and face me! 191 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,885 I'll cut you! 192 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,954 I owns you! 193 00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:40,892 -Bunch'a losers! 194 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,736 [indistinct chatter] 195 00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:56,040 ♪ 196 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,042 Grade nines! 197 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,345 Grade nines! 198 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,181 Where is your teacher? 199 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,784 [loud dragging sound] 200 00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,655 Student: What is she doing? 201 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,123 -Oh! 202 00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,726 -What in god's name are you doing? 203 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,193 -Hello, children. 204 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,930 I am sister perpetua. 205 00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,866 I'll be your grade nine homeroom teacher. 206 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:25,003 I wanted to start the year off in a fun way, 207 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:29,841 With a visual representation of christ's suffering. 208 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:34,012 Now, for the full day, I shall carry this cross with me 209 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:39,217 As a reminder of what our lord went through for your sins. 210 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,885 -She seems fun. 211 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:45,757 Sister rose: Yes, well. Children, you're in good hands. 212 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:49,226 Bleeding palms and all. 213 00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:52,163 -Would someone help me with my cross? 214 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,668 [sister perpetua panting] 215 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,703 Thank you, thank you. 216 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,840 Okay, children! 217 00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,674 Write these down. 218 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:13,451 Now... We all have our own cross to bear. 219 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,053 Ritche: How do you spell "bear"? 220 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,956 -What? -Do you mean b-e-e-r? 221 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,792 -No, I think it's b-a-r-e. 222 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:21,993 -Isn't that naked? 223 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,194 Sister rose: Children! 224 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:26,931 We don't mention nudity and alcohol in class! 225 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:29,768 -Unless, sister, we are referring to noah. 226 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,069 "in those days noah became a farmer, 227 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,204 "and he made a vine-garden. 228 00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,074 "and he took of the wine of it and was overcome by drink; 229 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:37,875 "and he was uncovered in his tent... 230 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,345 Both: "and ham, the father of canaan, 231 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,881 "saw his father unclothed, 232 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:46,250 "and gave news of it to his two brothers outside." 233 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,753 Genesis 9:20-23. 234 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,859 Can you read that? 235 00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:57,028 -Yeah. 236 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,030 -Sister? Uh, may I move closer? 237 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,298 I can't see. 238 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,766 -Mr. Critch. 239 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,168 You need glasses. 240 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,170 I'll write a note for your parents. 241 00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,438 [stifled laughter] 242 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:10,175 -Glasses. Me? No, no. 243 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,110 Uh, I just think the chalk is just a little soft. 244 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,047 -See? That's your cross to bear. 245 00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:18,917 Glasses. 246 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,318 Adult mark (v.O.): My life flashed before my eyes. 247 00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:23,922 But I couldn't make any of it out. 248 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,191 -This is your all-request nooner. 249 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,525 Coming up, we're getting physical 250 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,394 With olivia newton john, 251 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,830 A lady so nice they named her thrice. 252 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,199 I'm mike... 253 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:39,370 Campbell. 254 00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:41,206 -[spits] good god! 255 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:44,008 Mike jr: [radio] and you're listening to 590 vocm. 256 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,217 Optometrist: Now read the next line. 257 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,288 F... 258 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,824 -That's an e. 259 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,226 -C...? 260 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,562 -No... No, that's a b. 261 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,965 -H? -D. 262 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,967 E, b, d, o, t, c. 263 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,235 "ebdotc." 264 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,504 -I can't cheat on this test! 265 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,041 Mike sr: These prices are mad! 266 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,177 -Yeah, but you get the second pair free. 267 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,978 -Does it have to be the same prescription? 268 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,113 -He already got glasses! 269 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,381 -Hey, my prescription's running out! 270 00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:26,818 -Mark, let's pick out a frame, hm? 271 00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:30,054 -Glasses... I only just got cool! 272 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,924 -Oh, imagine how good the tv's gonna look now! 273 00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,192 And movies? 274 00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:36,928 It'll be like you're right in there with dark vader 275 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,629 And his life saver. 276 00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:41,899 -They're not 3d glasses, mom. 277 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:42,934 -Okay. 278 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,069 How about these? 279 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,570 -Too serial killer. 280 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,404 -Ooh, these? 281 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:49,607 -Too ghandi. -Okay, goldilocks. 282 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,642 -All the critch men wear glasses. 283 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,077 -Mike doesn't. 284 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,979 -He's not a critch, though, is he? 285 00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,013 He's a campbell. 286 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,449 -Mike! 287 00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,118 Mark, honey, you pick any pair that you like. 288 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,020 Whatever you think suits you. 289 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,164 -Well, maybe not those ones. 290 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,466 They look like they hurt your little nose. 291 00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:17,368 -Can a prescription for the free pair 292 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,103 Be somewhere in the middle of ours? 293 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,306 If we wanted to share the free pair? 294 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,179 Adult mark (v.O.): My first day with glasses. 295 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,048 This was supposed to be the year I went 296 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:34,052 From ugly duckling to swan. 297 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,254 Time to go from grade nine superman 298 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:39,857 To grade nine clark kent. 299 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,061 What an eye-opener! 300 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,595 The school was run-down... 301 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,131 The cool kids weren't that good-looking. 302 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,534 I had been living a lie! 303 00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,908 Even the smallest things seemed bigger. 304 00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,676 -Look at jam jars over there! 305 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,578 [laughter] 306 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,080 Adult mark (v.O.): I was a grade nine. 307 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,419 Listen to me, you little... 308 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,955 -Picking on a baby, are ya? I'll throw rocks at ya. 309 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,323 -Ow! 310 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:15,193 -Coke bottles! -Give it up! Aah! 311 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:16,928 -Glasses! 312 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,330 He wears them in there, he'll be killed. 313 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,565 Adult mark (v.O.): He was right. 314 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,633 These glasses could cost me an eye. 315 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:26,337 If I wanted to be cool, I could never wear my glasses again. 316 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:30,174 [indistinct chatter] 317 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:34,112 [mark panting] 318 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:37,315 -You okay? -Yeah. 319 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,183 I'm fine. 320 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,251 [breathlessly] yeah, fine. 321 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,321 [inhales] 322 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:46,024 -Where are your glasses? 323 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,592 -I don't have glasses. 324 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:51,729 -I thought you got glasses. -Stop saying "glasses"! 325 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,331 -What the frig? 326 00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,401 Children? 327 00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:03,140 I was inspired by the cross mark has to bear. 328 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,276 And I wanted to show you 329 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,546 What it would be like to be blind for the day. 330 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:12,649 Now, even as I lose one sense, 331 00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:16,553 My other senses become heightened. 332 00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:21,459 In the darkness, can you see the light? 333 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,428 Ritche: Uh, sister? 334 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,729 -Whoever's talking, I can hear you! 335 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,268 -Sister... 336 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,236 -Uh, I... 337 00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:45,082 -"then will the eyes of the blind be opened." 338 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:48,252 Isaiah 35:5. 339 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,187 Sister perpetua! 340 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:53,491 Where in god's name are your students? 341 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,059 -But I heard them! 342 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:59,130 -One more mistake and I'll nail you to your cross, sister! 343 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:00,198 Now, go find them. 344 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,799 -Yes, sister. 345 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,668 Sorry, sister. 346 00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,205 Sister perpetua: Children? Ready or not... 347 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,040 -And mr. Critch? 348 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,343 Where are your eye-glasses? 349 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,646 -Uh, I... 350 00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,613 I don't have glasses, sister. 351 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:20,685 Adult mark (v.O.): She didn't need glasses 352 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,220 To see I was up to something. 353 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:28,092 And why is that, mr. Critch? 354 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,361 Adult mark (v.O.): Maybe I should just tell her the truth. 355 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,296 Maybe sister rose would understand. 356 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:35,166 Oh, who was I kidding? 357 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,770 -Dad-- dad said, um, that... 358 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:42,306 We couldn't afford them. 359 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:45,309 Adult mark (v.O.): What the hell was I saying? 360 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,444 -Very well. 361 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,249 If sister perpetua cannot ensure you have what you need, 362 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,785 I shall do so myself. 363 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,687 [ominous music] 364 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,589 Adult mark (v.O.): I didn't need glasses to see 365 00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,725 That something bad was about to happen. 366 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,732 Adult mark (v.O.): At home, I loved my glasses. 367 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,535 -I always thought we had a crappy tv, 368 00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,271 But the reception's actually quite good! 369 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,439 -Hey, buddy holly, right? 370 00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,279 Hey, dad. 371 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:22,780 Guess what? 372 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,682 I took a radio name. 373 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,385 I'm mike campbell now. 374 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,453 -Are you that embarrassed of me? 375 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,255 Adult mark (v.O.): At least with my glasses, 376 00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,157 I'd have a clear view of the show. 377 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,492 -Your father's a bit upset. 378 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,394 -Turned his back on his family. 379 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:37,828 He's insulted his father. 380 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,897 -When's supper? -Oh, will you shut it? 381 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,433 Mark: Pop, mike changed his name, to "campbell." 382 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:45,803 -Oh. Was mike "boy-ar-dee" taken? 383 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,873 Mike sr: What kind of person gives up their surname, hm? 384 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,875 -Well, I gave up mine to marry you. 385 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,376 -That's different! 386 00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,245 -Everybody thinks I've got a free pass 387 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,280 Just 'cause of who my old man is! 388 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:59,250 -Well, I'm sorry for giving you an opportunity I never had! 389 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:00,551 -What's that supposed to mean? 390 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,853 -Dad, I gotta be me. 391 00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,756 -And who the hell is that? -I don't know, okay? 392 00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:09,827 But I'm not gonna find out if I keep living in your shadow! 393 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:12,830 I just need to know if I'm any good on my own. 394 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,866 -Oh, don't be so foolish. You're the best I've ever seen! 395 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:20,004 ♪ 396 00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:22,473 ♪ 397 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,374 Pop: Oh, jesus. 398 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,845 I think I'll change my name. 399 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,348 -Oh, mike. 400 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,682 And mike. 401 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,417 My mikes! 402 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,352 [knock at door] 403 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,853 Who the frig's at the door? 404 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,622 Mark! Get that, hm? 405 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,190 -Yeah. 406 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:40,958 [ominous music] 407 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,627 Oh! 408 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:43,961 Hello, mr. Critch. 409 00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:45,696 Adult mark (v.O.): A nun at the house? 410 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,564 I'd never seen one in the wild! 411 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,567 -I was just going to drop off a hamper 412 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,935 For your family in their time of need, 413 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:55,973 But I see that your fortunes have changed. 414 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:59,710 I think we can both see things more clearly now. 415 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,712 -I can explain. I--I only just-- 416 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,681 -Oh, sister rose! What a surprise! 417 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,316 Are you coming in? 418 00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:06,884 Adult mark (v.O.): Don't invite her in! 419 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,652 Everyone knows that dracula has to be invited! 420 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:09,987 -Oh, no. 421 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:12,990 I just wanted to check on mark's glasses. 422 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,458 -Oh! -No troubles? 423 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:18,529 -No, he loves them. 424 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,264 Is that for us? 425 00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:21,332 -No. 426 00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:24,235 Pop: Well, well, well! 427 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:27,338 What's in the basket, little blue riding hood? 428 00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,873 Ooh! 429 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,808 What luscious big lips you've got! 430 00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:33,511 Awoooooo! 431 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:34,679 -Uh... 432 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:37,882 You'll see me, uh, tomorrow, mr. Critch. 433 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,417 And I will be... Watching... You. 434 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,419 [pop laughs] 435 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,488 -What in the flying friggity-frig 436 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,557 Was that all about? 437 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,558 Jeez! 438 00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,695 Adult mark (v.O.): Like it or not, 439 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,897 You have to learn to embrace the new you. 440 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,500 You'll never see everything. 441 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,435 -If you so much as looks at him funny again, 442 00:18:58,437 --> 00:18:59,970 I'll kick you in the arse so hard, 443 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,640 My shoelaces will be coming out your nose. 444 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,508 [bus door opens] 445 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:09,447 ♪ 446 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:13,451 ♪ 447 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:17,521 ♪ 448 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,562 Fox: You're wearing them! 449 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,797 I wanna try 'em on. 450 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,433 -Oh... Uh... They're a medical aid! 451 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,835 -Whoa, I can see your bones! 452 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,671 -Yeah, I know I'm a nerd. 453 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,873 -I was just foolin'. 454 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,975 Come on, put 'em on for me. 455 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:40,411 Please? 456 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,982 ♪ 457 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,752 I think they look... 458 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,754 Handsome. 459 00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:56,026 So... I guess I need glasses now, too, huh? 460 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,428 -Wait... 461 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,364 You're a girl? 462 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,666 -Shut it! 463 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,901 -I mean... 464 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,437 Adult mark (v.O.): If only they made glasses that let us 465 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,071 See ourselves the way others do. 466 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,781 Adult mark (v.O.): When we accept who we are, 467 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:20,451 The way forward has a way of coming into focus... 468 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:24,755 So we can see the writing on the wall. 469 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,058 ♪ 470 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:30,361 ♪ 471 00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:35,399 ♪ 472 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,602 ♪ 473 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,137 Adult mark (v.O.): So we can see things 474 00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:43,541 From another perspective. 475 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:48,079 And we can see people for who they really are. 476 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,480 -And that's the news! 477 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:51,882 Stay tuned for the top ten at ten, with mike... 478 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,852 Campbell. 479 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:58,889 -And mike critch will be back with more news on the hour. 480 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,492 The beach boys have fallen from the top spot this week 481 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:04,094 Into third, with "kokomo"... 482 00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:07,898 ♪ 483 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,567 Adult mark (v.O.): And besides, 484 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,636 All the truly beautiful things in life 485 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,171 Are invisible anyway. 486 00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,174 ♪ 487 00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:20,177 ♪ 488 00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:23,180 ♪ 489 00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:26,183 ♪ 490 00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:29,186 ♪ 491 00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:32,923 ♪ 492 00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:37,194 ♪ 493 00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:40,498 ♪ 494 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:44,935 ♪ 495 00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:47,938 ♪ 496 00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:51,675 ♪