Adult mark (v.O.): Reach for the top!
A tv quiz show for kids.
Students in every province competed
With the hopes of country-wide fame.
Mr. Tilley: [tv] in this coastal city,
You'll rest in the shade of fleming park,
Which is also called the dingle.
-Halifax.
-[buzz] -mr. Tilley: Princess anne?
-Moncton? -No, moncton is not correct.
To st. Dominick's we go for the remainder of the question.
-Always wait for the full question!
-Nah, you've gotta go for it. Shoot first, think later.
-Thinking is kind of the whole point.
It's trivia.
Adult mark (v.O.): Cara!
A protestant girl I'd had a fling with.
We went to different schools, separated by religion.
Not quite star-crossed lovers, but crucifix-crossed,
Or cross-crossed.
-[beep] -charlottetown?
-No, we're in halifax.
-Right again. Nice one, critch.
Adult mark (v.O.): Trivia! Sports for nerds.
And I was the gretzky of geeks.
Mary: I still can't believe my baby's gonna be on the tv.
-Shh!
Adult mark (v.O.): Our school was facing cara's
In the regionals.
I would finally be on tv, but I'd have to crush my crush!
-I dunno, I still feel a little weird about this.
You sure it's okay?
-It's just a game, silly.
We can't let it get between us.
Promise?
It's just a bit of fun.
-"just a bit of fun"? Deal.
-Besides, we don't have a chance.
You're the smartest boy I know.
Mr. Tilley: [tv] on December 7th, 43 bc,
A great roman orator was assassinated
For having offended marc anthony in his speeches.
-[mouths answer] -cicero!
Mr. Tilley: [tv] no answer? Okay, we're looking for cicero.
Cara: See?
You're the smartest.
Cara's mom: Cara? Supper!
-Gotta go.
Talk to you tomorrow?
-Parting is such sweet, sweet, sorrow
That I shall say--
[line goes dead]
Pop: Finally!
Just keep off the phone, will ya?
It's sweeps week!
-What's sweeps week?
-It's when they count the ratings.
One good week could put vocm in the top spot!
-Oh, they have contests, cash prizes.
If they call you and you say, "I live in vocm country,"
You can win 59 dollars.
-Yeah, but you can't win, pop. We're related.
-Barely.
[car horn beeps outside]
-Dick's here. I'm off to work.
-Sweet jesus, you reeks!
I can practically see the cologne.
-Drakkar noir, nice.
-I'm doing a remote live from the strand lounge tonight.
Mary: Sure, you were working all day!
Mike, you got the boy run ragged.
-Sweeps week is war.
[car horn honks]
-A bar?
He's still a baby!
-Oh!
[phone rings]
-I'll get it!
I live in vocm country.
-Pop, will you put that down? You'll get us all arrested!
-For you, mark!
Just be quick.
Here!
-Oh! Uh...
Hello?
-Hey! Questions were dead easy, right?
We could have kicked that school's ass!
Mike sr: You can't win! You're my father!
Mary: Will you keep it down? Your son's on the phone!
-Yeah, I guess.
-I called earlier, but it was busy.
Pop: How do I know?
Your mother dated lots of men before me.
-You're embarrassing mark!
-Look, it's a bad time.
I'll talk to you at school tomorrow?
-Oh, okay, yeah.
[hangs up phone]
Adult mark (v.O.): Love is not a trivial pursuit.
♪
Alright, kids!
What is canada's national sport?
-[beep] -hockey!
-Incorrect!
-[beep] -lacrosse!
Trick question.
Fox, I'm team captain.
Never buzz in unless I give you the nod.
-Can't believe I said yes to this.
-Alright, kids. This is serious!
The whole province will be watching.
So, whatever you do, don't think about that...
Or you'll freak out.
-[beep] -no, I won't.
-Yes, you will. -[beep]
-No, I won't, 'cause I don't care.
-That's not a toy! You'll break it.
[prolonged beep]
-Then whoever made it sucks.
-I did!
Mark, control your players.
-[beep] -I'd like to see him try.
-She has a point.
-Name the fictional detective created by arthur--
-[beep] -uh, sherlock holmes!
Fox: [laughs] awesome!
-A tv studio is full of distractions.
-It's just a bit of fun.
-You need laser-sharp focus!
There'll be lights, and cameras, and...
-Your girlfriend?
-Gross!
-I meant cara!
Adult mark (v.O.): What kind of friend mentions
The girl you like in front of the other girl you like?
-[loudspeaker beeps] -sister rose: Attention!
All students to the gymnatorium.
All students to the gymnatorium!
-That's never good.
♪
-Mike, get up! It's almost eleven.
Oh, you little frigger.
Oh, my...
I guess he doesn't need you anymore either, does he?
[sighs]
Dick: Stick around!
Mike critch is next with the news!
Quarter to, quarter past, and on the hour.
Jeez, how much news do ya need?
On vocm!
♪
Thank god you're here, mike, b'y!
I thought I was gonna puke.
Young fella's dead to the world.
Got dragged off last night.
Women loves a man in uniform, huh?
Or so I hears.
-Here's the money for the "mad dash for the cash."
Now, the last thing we needs is a winner.
We only got 590 dollars in prize money to last the whole week.
That's 490 "ones," and one "hundred."
So for the love of god,
Hide the hundred at the bottom of the stack.
-I can't do math, mike b'y.
I'm still loaded!
-Okay...
Gertie: Mike, your father called.
You need to call home.
[phone rings]
I live in vocm country, hello.
-Pop, you can't win the contest.
-I already did.
You called me from the radio station,
And I answered correctly, so you owe me 59 dollars.
-We're not on the air!
-That's not mentioned in the rules and regs.
I could sue.
[slams phone down]
Mike sr: Disgraceful.
Sister rose: We must pray that our team will be victorious
Against the protestant heretics, children.
Adult mark (v.O.): We were treated like apollo astronauts.
But would we walk on the moon, or have a failure to launch?
Sister rose: It is written,
"their protestant god will fail them.
"many of them will stumble;
"they will fall and be broken." isaiah 8:15.
Reach for the top, children!
Reach for heaven!
-We're making memories, kids. Win or lose, it doesn't matter.
Let's hope for a win, though.
In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit.
Dear god, lots going on in the world,
But if you could just focus for a bit
On a child's game of trivia,
That would be very cool.
Amen.
Adult mark (v.O.): This was no longer "just a bit of fun."
-Better listening, vocm, mike critch speaking.
Woman on phone: Mike, it's linda. You sick?
-Uh, no, I'm fine, thank you. And yourself?
- I wants to throw up.
Listen to me! That's not very sexy, is it?
-Excuse me?
-I just woke up. I never even knew you left.
My whole room smells like drakkar noir.
I'm gonna chew the face right off ya when I sees ya.
-I think you have the wrong number.
-Why are you being weird? One and done, are ya?
Well, try and burn me off and I'll rip the head off ya!
[slams down phone]
[yawns]
[door shuts]
-Home early.
-Yeah.
I don't feel so good.
-Mm-hm.
Never slept at all by the looks of your bed.
So...
Where were you at last night?
-Well, bar closed at 2,
And we had to be at the station for 5, so...
I just ended up crashing at dick's.
-Listen, bucko.
You live here, you sleep here. You hear me?
-Mom, come on, it's my job.
-As long as you live in my house,
You will abide by my rules.
-Maybe I shouldn't live in your house, then.
♪
[door opens and shuts]
-And now it's time to play "what's in the teapot?"
Lucky caller number five, you're on the air.
Pop: [phone] hello!
I live in vocm country.
Dick: Now, the riddle is, "poor people have it.
"rich people need it.
"if you eat it, you will die."
What is it?
-[quietly] nothing.
Pop: Well, um, uh...
Nothing.
-That's right! The answer is "nothing"!
You win 50 dollars!
-Heh. Good for you, pop.
Pop: Fifty dollars?
-Pop?
-What's your name, caller?
Pop: Uh, well, my name is patrick crit--
-We seem to have lost you, caller!
I swear to god, dick, if my father
Wins a prize on this station, I'm gonna have your hide.
And my son better not "get lucky" either!
Adult mark (v.O.): A real tv studio!
The whole province would see me win my prize:
Cara's heart.
Ritche: I don't think we're ready for this.
-Cara told me I'm the smartest guy she knows.
It's in the bag.
-Hey, kids. Welcome to reach for the top.
-You're... [clears throat] you're, uh...
You're, uh... -Call me bill.
-Uh...
-And you are...?
-He's mr. Chafe, our coach. -Ah.
-I knew that.
-Mark critch. Team captain. Huge fan.
-Oh, fantastic.
Ah, here we go. Have you met the other team yet?
-We already know each other.
-Hello.
My name's cara. I'm the team captain.
Let's keep this professional.
-Hope you like losing.
-Fox! It's just a bit of fun.
[intense music]
-Okay, so which team wants the top?
-Mark: Oh, it doesn't matter. -Cara: We want the bottom.
♪
Chad, this is mark.
Chad's the smartest boy I know.
-Hi.
Adult mark (v.O.): Wait, what?
Mr. Tilley: Okay, kids!
Let's take a photograph, okay? Right over here.
-That was cold!
-It's just a bit of fun...
-He's hot.
-Wha--
-Right up there.
Adult mark (v.O.): My mind was as blank as a...
Uh, wait, I know this one. A...
Mike jr: [radio] stop by the strand lounge
For the wildest night in town!
-It sounds like sodom and gomorrah down there.
Mike jr: Spin the wheel of misfortune
And you could win a free small fish and chips!
-Wow, practically vegas.
Mike jr: Above the knee, drink for free!
- Oh! - No cover for the ladies!
-There are things a mother shouldn't know.
Mike jr: Enter the mad dash for the cash
And you could win 590 dollars.
-Oh! Uh, you know what?
Maybe we should go down there ourselves.
See what the lad's up to.
-You think?
-Well, do you want him to end up like dick dunphy?
-Oh, no!
-Yeah, get your keys.
Adult mark (v.O.): Even the top of her head was pretty.
-Hey... Cara?
-You don't look so good.
Stage hand: Okay, five, four, three, two, one...
Mr. Tilley: Well, good evening
And welcome to reach for the top.
This evening, we welcome these two schools...
The students of cashin academy.
[applause]
-And the students of st. Bridget's.
[applause]
-Players, are you ready?
Well, let's begin.
Who was the first person to fly solo across the atlantic?
-[beep] -lindbergh.
-That is correct.
Adult mark (v.O.): Beginner's luck!
-How many months have the letter "r" in them?
-[beep] -eight.
-That is correct.
What is the capital of the philippines?
-Uh-- -[beep]
-Saigon?
-Dude, what?
-Incorrect. Cashin?
-[beep] -manilla.
Mr. Tilley: That is correct.
Which nhl team won the stanley cup in--
-[beep] -uh, the edmonton oilers.
-No, that is incorrect. The question for cashin now.
Which nhl team won the stanley cup in the 1983 finals?
-[beep] -the new york islanders.
-That is correct.
Adult mark (v.O.): I'd seen a lot of tv deaths,
But my own was the bloodiest.
Mr. Tilley: On what day did the storming of the bastille occur?
[siren wailing]
A protestant class destroyer is off our bow, captain.
[laser shots]
Captain, shields are down.
-Fire back!
-Not yet.
We can reason with her.
-Your human emotion of love is most illogical, captain.
They're hailing us.
-Put it on the screen.
♪
Surrender or die.
This is your final warning.
♪
I still believe there is some good in you.
Catholics, protestants...
We both have hearts.
We both have...
Emotions.
We both have...
Love.
Search...
Your heart.
-Fire.
[explosion]
-[beep] -alaska?
Mr. Tilley: Correct. St. Bridget's is on the board!
-Yes!
-And with st. Bridget's with ten points,
We'll be back after this.
[applause]
What the frig? Are you taking a dive for her?
Adult mark (v.O.): I wish I was.
No, I wasn't taking a dive.
I was drowning.
Dick: [into mic] welcome to the strand lounge!
I'm dick dunphy from vocm magic mornings!
How you doing, st. John's?
Give it up for mike campbell!
-Alright, alright! Who wants to spin?
Excuse me, miss!
I am joined tonight by one of our nursing students!
-Yeah! -[applause and cheering]
-You're better looking than you are on the radio.
[audience exclaiming]
Are you ready to spin the wheel of misfortune?
-Wooooo!
[applause and cheering]
Mike jr: Oh! And you have landed on...
The potty chug!
Whoa...!
Bouncer: Uh, I don't need to see id.
Chug, chug, chug...
Crowd: [chanting] chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug...
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug...
[mike falls silent as crowd continues chanting]
[people whistling and cheering]
We need to talk.
-Back off, missus.
I seen him first.
-Pop: Hm! -Mary: Oh...?
Adult mark (v.O.): The whole province was watching,
But I only had eyes for one girl.
-Snap out of it!
-I thought you didn't care about this!
-I don't.
But I'm not about to get beaten up on tv.
-Look, I thought I could do this all on my own, but...
I can't.
Ritche, you know music.
Tina, you got science.
Fox, you know sport.
-And... What do you know?
-When to shut up. -Good.
You touch that buzzer again, and I swear to god,
I will break your friggin' fingers.
Stage hand: ...Two, one!
[peppy gameshow music]
-And we're back with the final round.
It's a canadian question this time, folks.
How many provinces have a smaller population
Than the city of toronto?
-[beep] -seven?
-No, that's incorrect. St. Bridget's?
-[beep] -eight?
-That is correct.
-Yes!
Mr. Tilley: Music now.
Listen to the classical piece and name the composer.
[1812 overture playing]
-[beep] -tchaikovsky?
-That is correct. It was the 1812 overture.
-Yes!
Bite me, you prods!
Adult mark (v.O.): The only thing better than winning
Is watching your friends win.
Dick: Alright, show time!
[applause and cheering]
-Time for the mad dash for the cash!
[applause and cheering]
-We've got 590 bucks in the box!
One lucky customer will have 30 seconds
To collect as much cash as they can!
Who wants to play?
[people yelling]
-Dick: This fella doesn't... -Pop: Coming through!
Pop: Out of my way! Move it or lose it!
[crowd yelling]
Mom, you can't be here.
-I will go where I bloody well like,
And I will find out what you're up to
Supposing I have to come here every night.
-Please. You're embarrassing me.
-Oh!
Well, then.
♪
-No, okay? You can't! Mike'll kill me!
-Out of my way! It's just a wind machine!
Start the clock!
Woman: Start the clock, start the clock...
Pop: Yeah... Whoa!
-[crowd cheering] -yeah, look at him go, there!
He asked for it, didn't he, now?
He asked for it!
-Oh!
-[pop laughing] -[crowd cheering]
Dick: Look at him go there!
Yeah, what have you got there?
-I know the difference between right and wrong.
You taught me that.
I will always need my mom.
Just...
Maybe not at the bar?
I'm not a baby anymore.
-But you are to me.
You always will be.
This is who you burned me off for, is it?
Mike jr: Oh...
No, uh, actually, this is my mom--
[mary gasps]
[laughs] wait, wait...
You... Think we're dating?
-What is she, a fourth year?
-[gasps] oh...
Sit down, my love, hm?
What's your name?
-Linda. -I'm mary.
-Hi, nice to meet ya. -I love your hair!
Dick: Alright, now!
Five, four, three, two, one!
That's time!
[applause]
-You alright, pat? -Oh...
Yeah, but I only got one bloody bill.
-Mike had me put flour on 'em, eh?
-What?
-Aw, jeez, the hundred!
You knows you can't keep it, though, now, pat.
The rules.
-Ah, I know.
But I still won, though, didn't I?
He won 100 dollars!
[crowd cheering]
Adult mark (v.O.): Winning can feel pretty great.
Pop: You look like a gutted cod gasping for air.
-Pop, shh!
Mr. Tilley: [tv] what was the last state
To join the us union?
-Hawaii? -That is correct!
-I look like I'm gonna throw up.
-I look awesome.
-Yeah, you do.
Mr. Tilley: Oh, and that's time!
Our provincial champions tonight, cashin academy!
They'll be carrying on to the nationals in ottawa!
Goodnight, everyone.
[busy signal]
You were amazing.
-We taped it.
Do you wanna come over and watch it again after school?
-Yeah! I'd love that.
-Okay. You hang up.
-No, you. -No, you .
-No, y--
Adult mark (v.O.): Love is a game best played
With two players.
And when you find the right player,
Nobody loses.
♪