1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX

2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

3
00:00:23,441 --> 00:00:24,650
{\an8}[exclaiming]

4
00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:28,028
{\an8}The holiday season is here.

5
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,537
{\an8}And I've been knitting
the perfect sweater
for Ugly Sweater Day.

6
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,832
{\an8}Just so you know,
I don't think you're ugly.

7
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,917
{\an8}I could spend forever
in your arms...

8
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:45,546
{\an8}Your itchy, scritchy-scratchy
wool arms.

9
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:46,756
{\an8}[kisses]

10
00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:48,424
{\an8}So nice.

11
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:52,261
{\an8}Thanks, Urkelbot.

12
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,722
{\an8}Now that it's officially
the holiday season,

13
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:58,559
{\an8}this room feels
so November. Ugh.

14
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,352
{\an8}But this is the perfect time

15
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,313
{\an8}for me to try out
my newest invention.

16
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:08,068
{\an8}Steve Urkel Industries presents
the Decemberizer!

17
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,862
{\an8}With a simple flip of a switch,

18
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:12,072
{\an8}the holidays are
at your fingertips.

19
00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,288
Oops!

20
00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:22,750
[groaning]

21
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,586
[breathes heavily]

22
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,306
[gasps]

23
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,099
Oh, no.

24
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,103
Oh! Bright lights.

25
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,025
[panting]

26
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,277
<i>♪ I love December ♪</i>

27
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,822
<i>♪ It's my favorite month
of the year ♪</i>

28
00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:55,324
<i>♪ From the first to the 31st ♪</i>

29
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,202
<i>♪ I celebrate
all that good cheer ♪</i>

30
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,579
<i>♪ I love December ♪</i>

31
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,082
<i>♪ I don't mean other months
are not great ♪</i>

32
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:06,001
<i>♪ I don't want them to feel
a way ♪</i>

33
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,128
<i>♪ But it's not up for debate ♪</i>

34
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,130
Shh! Shh! Steve! Keep it down!

35
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,133
I can't keep it down,
my postal pal!

36
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:17,721
Do you know that I've been
waiting 334 days for it
to be December again?

37
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:21,100
And now that it's here,
I can't waste a minute of it.

38
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,644
<i>♪ I love putting up
a Christmas tree ♪</i>

39
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,063
<i>♪ And hanging up a wreath ♪</i>

40
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,983
<i>♪ But I also love
a Kwanzaa feast ♪</i>

41
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,318
<i>♪ Flossing corn
out of my teeth ♪</i>

42
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,779
<i>♪ I love celebrating Hanukkah ♪</i>

43
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,240
<i>♪ Sometimes I get to light
the menorah ♪</i>

44
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,076
<i>♪ I love snowball fights
with my snow-bot army ♪</i>

45
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,495
<i>♪ This year
I'm coming for ya!♪</i>

46
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,584
<i>♪ There's so many great days
in December ♪</i>

47
00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,044
<i>♪ It's hard to pick
my favorite ♪</i>

48
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,922
<i>♪ So I celebrate them
one and all ♪</i>

49
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,258
<i>♪ So I can really savor it ♪</i>

50
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,385
It's just like that documentary
<i>The Purge.</i>

51
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,053
Everyone for themselves.

52
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:02,266
No, Mr. Kalan.
It's just Steve Urkel.

53
00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:06,395
Oh, right. It's December.

54
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:09,148
<i>♪ Oh, I love December ♪</i>

55
00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:11,275
<i>♪ It's the number one gathering
of days ♪</i>

56
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:13,777
<i>♪ It starts on the 335th ♪</i>

57
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,780
<i>♪ Alternatively 336th
on a leap year ♪</i>

58
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,617
Not if you use
a lunar calendar.

59
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,911
What? I'm just trying
to be inclusive.

60
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:24,079
<i>♪ I love December ♪</i>

61
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,665
<i>♪ It's the best month
of the bunch ♪</i>

62
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:29,043
<i>♪ There's no fighting
on Boxing Day ♪</i>

63
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,754
<i>♪ But there still might be
some punch ♪</i>

64
00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,714
<i>♪ Las Posadas is nine nights
of worship ♪</i>

65
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,842
<i>♪ Omisoka's day of cleansing
and fun ♪</i>

66
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:41,055
<i>♪ With the Festivus
for the rest of us ♪</i>

67
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,556
<i>♪ Oh!♪</i>

68
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,517
<i>♪ There's something
for everyone ♪</i>

69
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:49,939
Steve! All the singing
and dancing is gonna
wake everybody up.

70
00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:53,233
[echoing] <i>Everybody up,
everybody up, everybody up.</i>

71
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:58,155
Well, not to quibble,
but technically,

72
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,616
you're being a lot louder
than me, right now.

73
00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:03,160
<i>♪ The holidays
have traditions ♪</i>

74
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,704
<i>♪ They shouldn't be forgotten ♪</i>

75
00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:08,290
<i>♪ To not respect them at all ♪</i>

76
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,668
<i>♪ Would really be
quite rotten ♪</i>

77
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,337
<i>♪ It's not just about
presents and toys ♪</i>

78
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,839
<i>♪ These holidays
have meanings ♪</i>

79
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,509
<i>♪ They bring
families together ♪</i>

80
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:21,095
<i>♪ Despite their
political leanings ♪</i>

81
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,639
<i>♪ This season isn't
just a day ♪</i>

82
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:26,350
<i>♪ We decorate
a Christmas tree ♪</i>

83
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,936
<i>♪ We must never
forget December's ♪</i>

84
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:35,067
<i>♪ When we celebrate
the baby Jay-Z ♪</i>

85
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:38,195
- [Jay-Z] Sagittarius
in the building, ho!
- [giggles]

86
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,155
<i>♪ I love December ♪</i>

87
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:42,783
<i>♪ It's my favorite month
of the year ♪</i>

88
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,285
<i>♪ From the first to the 31st ♪</i>

89
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,663
<i>♪ I celebrate
all the good cheer ♪</i>

90
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:50,708
<i>♪ Yes, he loves December ♪</i>

91
00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:53,002
<i>♪ He celebrates every holiday ♪</i>

92
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:57,715
<i>♪ But that's still no excuse
for waking us up
on a Saturday ♪</i>

93
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:02,928
Oh, good, you're up!
Happy holidays, Mrs. Paxson.

94
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,597
I'm looking forward
to your eggnog cookies
this year.

95
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,808
Uh, don't skimp
on the cinnamon.

96
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,601
Happy Early Hanukkah,
Mr. Kalan.

97
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,603
That's not a thing.

98
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:15,399
It's just Hanukkah.
And it hasn't started yet.

99
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,569
But that doesn't mean
you can't get a head start
on celebrating.

100
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:22,114
Anybody need help getting
holiday lights out of
a musty basement?

101
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:25,325
Kochiyama family?
I'm looking at you.

102
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:29,038
Steve, dear.
What we need is sleep.

103
00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:31,081
But, I let you sleep in
this year!

104
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:35,502
Sure, compared to last year,
when you woke us up
at midnight!

105
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,630
I just want this holiday season
to be the best it can be!

106
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,966
And that means we can't waste
a minute of it!

107
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,135
- As one of Santa's helpers.
- Steve?

108
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:45,637
One of Santa's
"unofficial" helpers,

109
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,931
I want everything to be perfect
for the big guy

110
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,683
when he arrives. It's my job...

111
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,226
Not your job.

112
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,728
...to make sure there's enough
good cheer spread

113
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,813
into every nook and cranny
of this month.

114
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,982
It's not
an English muffin, kid.

115
00:05:56,982 --> 00:06:00,736
It's a month where we buy
more candles and wrapping paper
than usual.

116
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,906
Oh, I beg to differ,
It's Mr. K! Smell the air!

117
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,616
It's different
during the holidays.

118
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,494
Smells the same to me.

119
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:11,747
Like snow
and pumpkin spiced garbage.

120
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:15,709
You can't get that in July,
which is why Santa doesn't
show up in the summer.

121
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,045
He shows up in December

122
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:21,256
because Santa's drawn
to the lumens of string lights,
the pollen of mistletoe,

123
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:25,135
the euphoria of giving gifts
and higher concentrations
of goodwill.

124
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,387
I always assumed
it was the Christmas carols?

125
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,598
Those too.

126
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,726
Now who wants to head
to the mall for a little
mall-iday window shopping?

127
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,562
Steve, how can I put this
delicately?

128
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,523
- No!
- What he said.

129
00:06:39,108 --> 00:06:41,944
Well, that was not the answer
I expected.

130
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:44,071
Here's a thought!
You all rest up.

131
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,240
Dream some holiday
themed dreams.

132
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,742
And when I get back,
I'll be going door to door

133
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,537
to test and untangle
everyone's holiday lights!

134
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,789
These holidays aren't gonna
celebrate themselves!

135
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,335
[doorbell buzzes]

136
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,464
This package needs a signature.

137
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,466
I know you're in there,
Mrs. Paxson.

138
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,345
[Jordan] Go, get him!
Guard up on him!

139
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,515
He can shoot!
Oh! Time out, time out.

140
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,183
Steve! Wait up!

141
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,310
Hey, thanks for fixing up
the court man. It's amazing!

142
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,981
Aw, no sweat Jordan!
Well except for the sweat
on the court.

143
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:20,357
[chuckles and snorts]

144
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:21,984
I'm glad that
my microwave powered,

145
00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:24,153
climate controlled concrete
is a hit!

146
00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:26,155
Microwave powered? Wait, wait!

147
00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:28,532
Is it going to stunt our growth
or anything?

148
00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:32,744
Not at all. My Urkel Industries
patent-pending Clima-Crete
is perfectly safe.

149
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:38,333
If anything, it might make you
grow a few inches.

150
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,335
- Really?
- [chuckles] No.

151
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,754
You're probably never gonna get
taller than five foot ten,

152
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:46,925
just basing that on your
general bone density
and family history. Sorry.

153
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:50,929
Now Horace
on the other hand, whew,
you might hit seven feet!

154
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,515
Hey, uh, you should
take your jacket off
and stay a while.

155
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,309
As much as I'd love
to impress you

156
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,353
with this killer cross over,
I've gotta head to the mall!

157
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,855
It's a big day!

158
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:02,024
They're lighting up
the giant Christmas tree.

159
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:05,360
- What? They like plug it in?
- Yes!

160
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,655
Over two thousand
twinkling lights
and shiny ornaments!

161
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,074
I like to oversee
the stringing of the garland.

162
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,952
Make sure the popcorn
to cranberry ratio isn't off.

163
00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,579
Do you get paid to do that?

164
00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:18,624
No. It's sort of a
volunteer position I created.

165
00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:21,585
It's tough and tasty work
but someone has to do it.

166
00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:25,756
The city's gotta be perfect
for when the big guy arrives
on his sleigh!

167
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:28,050
Oops! I almost walked off
with the rock.

168
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,927
Hey Horace! No look pass!

169
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,447
Whoa? What! What the?

170
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,699
Steve! What'd you do?

171
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,701
You're always saying
how you want to make it rain
buckets on the court,

172
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,328
so there you go!

173
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,872
I built a rain machine.

174
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,376
Although I don't know
why you'd want to play b-ball
in the rain. It seems slippery.

175
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:06,880
But I guess that's how
the Splash Brothers
got started.

176
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,007
Did you know
the Splash Brothers
are not really brothers?

177
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,351
On, no... is that?

178
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:23,272
Doh, it's the holiday boy.
Nope. Not today.

179
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:24,982
He can catch the next bus.

180
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,858
[grunting]

181
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,236
Ah! There's something
wrong with this bus.

182
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:35,075
- Ah! Here! Let me help you!
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Put me down!

183
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,493
I'm on a schedule here.

184
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,204
I need you all to scoot.

185
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:42,749
Thanks for riding the Metro...
You old weirdos.

186
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,418
- [old lady] I'm okay.
- Phew!

187
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,503
Happy holidays,
Sheryl the bus driver!

188
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,630
Ugh! Holiday boy.

189
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,258
Take me to the Twin Ferns Mall
and step on it!

190
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:55,387
And by "step on it,"
I mean "drive safely and make
all of your scheduled stops."

191
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:56,805
Ugh!

192
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,474
And we're on our way!

193
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,269
<i>♪ Dashing through the snow
on a city bus ♪</i>

194
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,981
Nope! Not this year!
No singing!

195
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:10,444
I'm going to need you
to dial your energy down
to about a three.

196
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,404
Out of nine hundred.

197
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,531
Starting today,
the Twin Ferns Mall

198
00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:18,410
gets its annual mall-iday
makeover!

199
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,620
Giant snowflakes hang
from the ceiling.

200
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,664
Tinsel everywhere.

201
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,709
Oh, there's nothing like
seeing the first fake snow
of the season.

202
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,252
Picking out a Christmas tree...

203
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,837
scented candle.

204
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,298
Ooh, I do love
a scented candle.

205
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:43,018
<i>♪ The holiday spirit's
all over the mall...♪</i>

206
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:46,897
Boy! If you don't stop singing,
I'm gonna make a call.

207
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,690
<i>♪ From the fancy soap store ♪</i>

208
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,567
<i>♪ Exfoliate your pores ♪</i>

209
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:55,072
<i>♪ Smell like gingerbread
and apple cider!♪</i>

210
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:58,492
I'm having some trouble
with a rider.

211
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:02,245
<i>♪ The mall-iday season
is what I sing of ♪</i>

212
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,957
<i>♪ When department store windows
show mannequins in love ♪</i>

213
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:08,877
[bus dispatch] <i>Sheryl,
should we, uh, call the police?</i>

214
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,337
[exhales] No, no.

215
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:13,090
Just get him
to stop singing please.

216
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,718
<i>♪ Showing off the best pants
for cold weather ♪</i>

217
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:20,764
<i>♪ While chopping down
a Christmas tree together ♪</i>

218
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:25,852
[bus dispatch]
<i>♪ It's a winter wonderland
with escalators!♪</i>

219
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,397
He got to you?
Jerry, you are such a traitor!

220
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:32,234
<i>♪ Head up to the food court
and don't take too long ♪</i>

221
00:11:32,234 --> 00:11:34,319
<i>♪ Or you'll miss
the first graders ♪</i>

222
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,029
<i>♪ Sing the dreidel song ♪</i>

223
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,825
That is cute, okay.
But no! Stop singing!

224
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:43,495
<i>♪ Now, if you are hungry
there's a store
that sells ham ♪</i>

225
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:50,085
<i>♪ And the Chef Shop
where they'll teach you
to candy a yam ♪</i>

226
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,879
<i>♪ While convincing you
to buy a multi-cooker ♪</i>

227
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,923
Is that like a crock pot?

228
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:56,925
[Jerry singing]
<i>♪ Kinda sorta
but it's even cooler ♪</i>

229
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,136
Why are you helping him?

230
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:03,390
<i>♪ 'Cause it's a
winter wonderland
with escalators!♪</i>

231
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:11,857
<i>♪ The parking lot's got a rink
for ice skaters!♪</i>

232
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,733
Now he got to you too?

233
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,112
<i>♪ And last but not least
The true star of the show ♪</i>

234
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:20,949
<i>♪ Department Store Santa's
there to hear all your wishes ♪</i>

235
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:24,119
<i>♪ Right now my wishes
is for you to shush-es ♪</i>

236
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,121
<i>♪ His elves walk you
into his village ♪</i>

237
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,081
<i>♪ And up to his sleigh ♪</i>

238
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:34,629
<i>♪ So you can have a photo
of a great mall-iday!♪</i>

239
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:41,511
<i>♪ 'Cause it's a winter
wonderland with escalators!♪</i>

240
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:48,143
[Jerry] <i>Come on, Sheryl,
don't be such a hater!</i>

241
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,312
All right, fine.

242
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:57,402
<i>♪ It's a winter wonderland
with escalators!♪</i>

243
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:04,993
<i>♪ And ADA
compliant elevators!♪</i>

244
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:09,915
<i>♪ There's not much more
we can say ♪</i>

245
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:13,919
<i>♪ We can't wait
for the mall-iday ♪</i>

246
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,884
This is why I don't like it
when you sing!

247
00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,636
You get my hopes up.

248
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,471
I don't understand!

249
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,306
Where are the mall-idays?

250
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,601
[sighs] Looks like
I'm finishing my route
after all.

251
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:33,522
Wait, is that a sale
at Tanya's Confidential?
30% off?

252
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:35,607
Excuse me!

253
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,859
Um, why isn't the giant
Christmas tree up?

254
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,903
Is it on the way?

255
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,155
Is it stuck in traffic
along with the giant
inflatable dreidel

256
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,991
that is usually in the
parking lot wishing everyone
a <i>Chag Sameach?</i>

257
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,202
Business has been slow
at the mall,

258
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:50,997
so they figured why bother
with a big tree and decorations
this year.

259
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:54,292
Wha? Santa is not going
to like this!

260
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:58,797
Oh! Don't worry,
we still got a tree. See?

261
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:00,382
Pretty nice, right?

262
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:03,009
A very merry mall-iday to you!

263
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:11,017
Where's the tinsel?
Where's the candy cane
colored clothes hangers?

264
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,686
Where's the apple cider!

265
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,105
It just smells like pretzels
in here!

266
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:18,108
Why hasn't the piercing booth
become a gift wrapping station
yet?

267
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,402
It's too cold to get
a nose ring!

268
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,861
[gasps]

269
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,364
[screaming]

270
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,826
Oh, thank goodness.

271
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,045
Welcome to Santa's Village.

272
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,880
Are you ready
for a holly, jolly time?

273
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,549
Is this place?

274
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,427
Where's all the tinsel?
The lights and fake snow?

275
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,762
It's the mall-idays!
Come on, people!

276
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,600
- Who are you?
- Steve Urkel.

277
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,893
I'm one of Santa's helpers.

278
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,814
Really? Then why am I
the one wearing a nametag
and dressed like an elf?

279
00:14:57,814 --> 00:14:59,816
What? You're an elf?

280
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:03,528
I figured you were
some bored kid
with weird taste in shoes.

281
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,448
[laughs] My shoes? Look at you!

282
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,450
Are you rocking saddle shoes?

283
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:12,495
Oh, I am. And when I click
my heels together,
they can do this.

284
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,873
Perhaps purple and gold
is more your speed?

285
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,460
Or maybe black and green?
How about red bottoms?

286
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,837
- Okay, those are pretty cool!
- [laughs]

287
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,381
Thank you.
I created an LED leather.

288
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,092
[laughs] I don't need to know
the science.

289
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,345
Just take the compliment,
Steve Urkel.

290
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,764
It's taken like bacon.
Nom, nom, nom, nom.

291
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,974
[laughs] You're kind of corny.

292
00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,477
Hmm, corn. Nom, nom, nom...

293
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,896
[laughing] Okay, okay.

294
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,607
My name's Robin.
You want to meet Santa?

295
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,568
Well, to be clear,
Department Store Santa.

296
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,863
- You can just call him Santa.
- Oh, no!

297
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,698
There's an
important distinction!

298
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:51,242
Not to minimize the role
of the DSS...

299
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,285
DSS?

300
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,329
Department Store Santa.

301
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,873
It's more than a job,
it's a calling.

302
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,876
Department Store Santas
hear the wishes of children.

303
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,795
There's tall Santas,
short Santas,

304
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,713
Santas of every shape, size
and gender.

305
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:07,050
<i>Department Store Santas
must be of the highest caliber.</i>

306
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:10,637
<i>With ears that can hear
the voices of the
shiest children.</i>

307
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,847
<i>They must have the nicest
of beards.</i>

308
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:16,851
<i>Not too long,
but not too groomed
that they seem aloof.</i>

309
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,896
<i>A Department Store Santa
has healthy knee cartilage</i>

310
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,273
<i>to provide support
for the husky child.</i>

311
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:25,902
<i>And a Santa suit so soft
it feels like a cloud.</i>

312
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,279
<i>And so red it can be seen
in the dark.</i>

313
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,782
<i>These heroes take up
the thankless mantle</i>

314
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,076
<i>that comes with sitting
in that sleigh!</i>

315
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:36,079
I am honored to be
in the presence
of such greatness.

316
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:40,208
And a little bummed out
that there aren't more people
here to witness his majesty.

317
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:43,253
Hey, you there!
Gaze upon this greatness!

318
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:47,882
I'm gonna keep gazing
on these sales, but thank you!

319
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,009
[Jerry]
<i>Sheryl, what's your twenty?</i>

320
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:55,724
Uh, the snow is really
slowing things down.

321
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,809
[making static noises]

322
00:16:57,809 --> 00:17:00,937
I'm [static noises] losing
[static noises] you.

323
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:04,023
[static noises]
Can't [static noises] hear
[static noises] anything.

324
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:06,109
[giggles]

325
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,573
Robin, I don't want to quibble,

326
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,491
but if you want to
impress Santa,

327
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,411
you might want to open
that gate with little more flash.

328
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:19,622
Let's take it again,
but this time with some pizazz!

329
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:22,459
Look, Steve, I get that
you're a fan of Santa.

330
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:26,296
- A helper of Santa.
- No. I am a helper of Santa.

331
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,256
Sure, the department store variety.

332
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,758
Boy, stop it!

333
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,135
You can go through
this gate and meet Santa

334
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,764
or me and these mall issued
jingly bells will pizzazz you
out of this place.

335
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,557
I'll go with the first option!

336
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,350
Cannonball!

337
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,352
[gasping]
Aagh! What's happening?

338
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,188
<i>- The Purge?</i>
- Hey there, big guy!

339
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,356
So great to see you
this year, DSS.

340
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,400
Now my name should be
on one of your lists.

341
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,028
Hopefully the "nice" one.

342
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:53,823
All right, all right.
Just slow down, kid.
Slow down, now.

343
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:55,867
Santa gotta do a few warm up
"ho-ho-hos."

344
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:57,285
Oh, sure, sure. Take your time.

345
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:02,165
Ho-ho-ho.

346
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:07,003
[in normal voice] Ho...
[low-pitched] Ho...
[high-pitched] Ho.

347
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:10,882
[higher-pitched] Ho-ho-ho.

348
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,051
[clears throat] Okay, I got it.

349
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,845
Ho-ho-ho!

350
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,347
Eh...

351
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,641
Oh, gimme a break!
I'm a little rusty!

352
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,434
Got to come in here
for these ho-ho-ho's.
I don't get to practice them.

353
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,854
Now, what would you like
for Christmas, uh...

354
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,732
[whispers] Steve Urkel, sir.

355
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:30,610
What would you like
for Christmas, Steve Urkel sir?

356
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,862
I only want one thing
this year.

357
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:37,242
One thing?
That's very considerate of you
to keep Santa's bag light.

358
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:38,910
So what is it?
A new video game system?

359
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:41,538
A puppy dog?
Please don't say world peace.

360
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,832
- Cheese!
- Are we taking a picture now?

361
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,627
No, I want cheese
for Christmas!

362
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,755
Hmm, cheese?

363
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:54,425
You thinking like
a grocery store cheese plate
with some charcuterie?

364
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,469
Maybe a cheese of the month
club type of thing?

365
00:18:56,469 --> 00:19:00,557
Not quite. This year,
I'd like a taste of
one of the rarest,

366
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,309
most exquisite cheeses
in the world.

367
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,520
Ooh. You're a boy
after my own heart.

368
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,938
I like a fine cheese.

369
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,107
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Stop it! Stop it!

370
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:14,070
What are we talking about?
A stilton? A Manchego?
A nice camembert?

371
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,156
Serbian donkey cheese!

372
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,784
- Serbia who now?
- Serbian donkey cheese.

373
00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,744
Do that sell that
at one of those fancy
grocery stores?

374
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,414
No.
You have to travel to Serbia...

375
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:27,834
<i>Where you must take
a ferry to a small,
remote village,</i>

376
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:31,713
<i>there atop a mountain
that can only be reached
on foot,</i>

377
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:37,218
lives one cheese monger
who has perfected the art
of milking donkeys.

378
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,596
Eww. Gross.

379
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:43,349
Which isn't easy,
because donkeys don't produce
much milk and they kick. A lot.

380
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,143
Let me get this straight.

381
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:48,313
You want cheese
from a tiny horse?
For Christmas?

382
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:49,898
- Yep.
- Whoa!

383
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:52,942
Serbian donkey cheese
is expensive!

384
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,819
That's more than
I pay in rent!

385
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:55,945
You sure you don't want
a puppy?

386
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,614
I can't. Allergies.

387
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,949
Aw! You're allergic to dogs?

388
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,035
No. Dogs are allergic to me.

389
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,162
The sound of my voice,
to be exact.

390
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:07,540
The decibel range is a little
too harsh for their sensitive cochlea.

391
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:11,419
Okay. Well, Santa will see
what he can do
about your cheese.

392
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,670
Oh! Robin!!

393
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:15,006
Okay. Who's ready for a photo?

394
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:16,841
Donkey cheese!

395
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,430
People are really missing out
on capturing a special moment
like this!

396
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,390
Why is your phone so old?

397
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,893
It looks like it could be
my phone's grandmother!

398
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,438
Electronic waste is such a huge
environmental problem,

399
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:33,608
so rather than buy a new phone,
I figured it might be nice

400
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,152
to see if I could breathe
new life into something old.

401
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:40,323
Oh, sure.
Kind of like rebooting
an old movie or TV show?

402
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:41,991
Um...

403
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,248
Hey, I should post this photo.

404
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,876
Once people see me having
all this holiday fun,

405
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,962
they'll want to get their photo
with DSS

406
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:56,214
and that'll kickstart
a yuletide celebration

407
00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:57,757
that will pique
Santa's interest!

408
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,471
[exhales] Okay.

409
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:12,438
And just like that
we're viral, baby!

410
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,107
I'm an influenza!

411
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,734
You mean influencer?

412
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,820
Not when you're this viral!

413
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,030
I'm taking away my like.

414
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:25,743
Oh! Whoa, mama!
Guess who is going live
right now?

415
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:27,829
Dudley Von Durffel!

416
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,039
- The billionaire?
- The tech genius!

417
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,666
Who is a billionaire.

418
00:21:31,666 --> 00:21:34,085
People call him
the "real life Bruce Wayne."

419
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:37,338
In that he has unresolved
trauma at the tragic loss
of his parents?

420
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,133
No! Because he's crazy rich!

421
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,261
The guy owns a yacht
that is also a hot air balloon!

422
00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:47,056
No, having a yacht air balloon
isn't what makes him cool.

423
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:51,978
Dudley Von Durffel is cool
because he sees innovation
where others don't.

424
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:57,567
Hello! Wave emoji! Wave emoji!
[laughs]

425
00:21:57,567 --> 00:21:59,444
It's me, Dudley Von Durffel.

426
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:02,947
Just maxxin' and chillaxin'
poolside 20,000 feet in the air

427
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:06,367
and I figured why not check in
with my Von Durffollowers.

428
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:08,745
Is he bored and desperately
looking for connection

429
00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:11,456
to feed the insatiable appetite
of his growing ego?

430
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:13,750
Ugh, thumbs down emoji!

431
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,127
I just want to get
to know my peeps, VDI!

432
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,511
Huh? Again?

433
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:28,639
Let's find someone cool
to interface with.

434
00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:32,226
Ugh! Here's a person:
@steveurkel.

435
00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:33,686
That's me.

436
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:36,022
How is your phone's camera
better than mine?

437
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:39,025
<i>Hello, Dudley!
I'm such a huge fan!</i>

438
00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:41,152
<i>I'm an inventor myself.</i>

439
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:43,446
It appears he is a five time
winner of his state's science fair.

440
00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:46,866
<i>Uh, okay, well, I was
a nine time state
science fair champ.</i>

441
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,535
- Boom!
- Wowzer!

442
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:52,538
<i>Right? I want to give you
some advice, @steveurkel.</i>

443
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,751
- Oh, just Steve is fine.
<i>-@steveurkel... you need
to stop inventing.</i>

444
00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:57,835
What?

445
00:22:57,835 --> 00:23:00,505
<i>And start disrupting!</i>

446
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:02,173
I've got to be honest, Steve.

447
00:23:02,173 --> 00:23:04,300
Disrupting things seems like
it could upset people.

448
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,260
<i>Maybe @steveurkel's friend--</i>

449
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:09,180
<i>Facial recognition says
her name is Robin Robles.</i>

450
00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:11,057
<i>You know that I'm not using
names anymore!</i>

451
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,518
<i>The future of communication
is handles! Okay!</i>

452
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:17,230
<i>On the socials I'm @robirob381.</i>

453
00:23:17,230 --> 00:23:19,607
<i>Thank you! @robirob381.</i>

454
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:22,193
<i>There was a time when people
traveled everywhere</i>

455
00:23:22,193 --> 00:23:24,737
<i>by horse drawn carriage, okay.</i>

456
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:29,158
<i>But then Henry Ford
disrupted all of that
with the automobile.</i>

457
00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:31,410
<i>Does that make Henry Ford
a bad guy?</i>

458
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:35,456
<i>Not for the car stuff,
but definitely for some
of the other stuff.</i>

459
00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:37,875
Fair point... He was...
He was not a good person.

460
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:40,419
No. He was a real l-o-s-3-r.

461
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,713
<i>Auto correcting.
He means "loser."</i>

462
00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:45,216
<i>Inventing is giving people
what they want!</i>

463
00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:48,594
<i>Now disrupting is grabbing
people by the collar
and yanking them</i>

464
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,304
<i>into the future! Yeah.</i>

465
00:23:50,304 --> 00:23:52,223
Huh? what do you think
he means by... Help!

466
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,311
<i>♪ When a great idea's
inside your head ♪</i>

467
00:23:57,311 --> 00:23:59,772
<i>♪ You rush to write it down ♪</i>

468
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,275
<i>♪ Now you might misspell
a word or two ♪</i>

469
00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:04,610
<i>♪ But the genius
is what's sound ♪</i>

470
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:07,280
<i>♪ Sure, you could move
real slowly ♪</i>

471
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,074
<i>♪ Dot every "i"
Cross every "t"♪</i>

472
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:12,076
<i>♪ But all that
quadruple checking ♪</i>

473
00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:14,912
<i>♪ Doesn't cut the edge
of technology ♪</i>

474
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:17,123
<i>♪ You can't wait to see
who's ready ♪</i>

475
00:24:17,123 --> 00:24:19,500
<i>♪ Can't ask "Is this okay?"♪</i>

476
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:22,253
<i>♪ Just make something amazing ♪</i>

477
00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:24,797
<i>♪ That'll blow everyone away ♪</i>

478
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:27,175
<i>♪ And when you start
to build it ♪</i>

479
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:29,677
<i>♪ You don't want
to be delayed ♪</i>

480
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:32,221
<i>♪ You gotta get it
to the people ♪</i>

481
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,473
<i>♪ Give their lives
a big upgrade ♪</i>

482
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,434
<i>♪ So you gotta move fast ♪</i>

483
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:37,727
<i>♪ Break things ♪</i>

484
00:24:37,727 --> 00:24:38,936
<i>♪ Move fast ♪</i>

485
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,188
<i>♪ Break things ♪</i>

486
00:24:40,188 --> 00:24:42,273
<i>♪ Ask for forgiveness after ♪</i>

487
00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:44,567
<i>♪ You've delivered joy
and laughter ♪</i>

488
00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:46,777
<i>♪ You gotta move fast ♪</i>

489
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,988
<i>♪ Break things ♪
♪ Move fast ♪</i>

490
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:50,615
<i>♪ Break things ♪</i>

491
00:24:50,615 --> 00:24:52,200
<i>♪ By disrupting
everybody's world ♪</i>

492
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,118
<i>♪ It only happens
when you move fast ♪</i>

493
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,954
<i>♪ And break things ♪</i>

494
00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:59,832
Uh, moving fast sounds
kind of dangerous.

495
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,417
That's how accidents happen.

496
00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:04,921
[sighs]

497
00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:07,590
<i>♪ Accidents happen
all the time ♪</i>

498
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:09,926
<i>♪ We trip, we stumble
We bump our noggin ♪</i>

499
00:25:09,926 --> 00:25:13,054
<i>♪ If we stop moving forward
people point ♪</i>

500
00:25:13,054 --> 00:25:15,181
<i>♪ They laugh, make memes
They start mockin'♪</i>

501
00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:17,600
<i>♪ In the world of tech
There will be bugs ♪</i>

502
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,894
<i>♪ OS flaws
and backend mistakes ♪</i>

503
00:25:19,894 --> 00:25:21,938
<i>♪ Don't wanna be
a laughingstock?♪</i>

504
00:25:21,938 --> 00:25:24,899
<i>♪ Well, don't stop
whenever something breaks ♪</i>

505
00:25:24,899 --> 00:25:27,068
<i>♪ This world
is our laboratory ♪</i>

506
00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:29,695
<i>♪ Everything around us
is just data ♪</i>

507
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:32,573
<i>♪ So instead of saying
"Did I do that"♪</i>

508
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:34,825
<i>♪ Just shrug and say
"It's still in beta!"♪</i>

509
00:25:34,825 --> 00:25:36,452
<i>♪ And then
Move fast ♪</i>

510
00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:37,578
<i>♪ Break things ♪</i>

511
00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:38,955
<i>♪ Move fast ♪</i>

512
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:40,206
<i>♪ Break things ♪</i>

513
00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:42,208
<i>♪ Ask for forgiveness after ♪</i>

514
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,335
<i>♪ You've delivered
joy and laughter ♪</i>

515
00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,462
<i>♪ No, you gotta move fast ♪</i>

516
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:47,672
<i>♪ Break things ♪</i>

517
00:25:47,672 --> 00:25:49,006
<i>♪ Move fast ♪</i>

518
00:25:49,006 --> 00:25:50,841
<i>♪ Break things ♪</i>

519
00:25:50,841 --> 00:25:57,807
<i>♪ Let your inventions rock
everybody's world ♪</i>

520
00:25:57,807 --> 00:26:05,273
<i>♪ It only happens
when you move fast ♪</i>

521
00:26:05,273 --> 00:26:07,733
<i>♪ Ba de ba da ba da ♪</i>

522
00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:08,985
<i>♪ And break things ♪</i>

523
00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:14,156
Wow! Okay, now I want
to find something to disrupt!

524
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:16,617
Look, I'm not sitting
in my own yacht air balloon

525
00:26:16,617 --> 00:26:18,911
because I waited for permission
to change the world.

526
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,705
No. I just changed it

527
00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:23,249
and this baby is
a very expensive,

528
00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:26,627
really, like really,
fuel inefficient thank you gift
for myself. Yeah.

529
00:26:26,627 --> 00:26:30,381
Whoa! Whoa!
Keep it steady, VDI!

530
00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,341
We've got some choppy
skies up here.

531
00:26:32,341 --> 00:26:34,677
You see, this is why we need
to get rid of the wind!

532
00:26:34,677 --> 00:26:38,097
Ugh. @steveurkel,
look around you.

533
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:41,851
Is there something
that you see that
could be better for society?

534
00:26:41,851 --> 00:26:47,732
Hmm. Since it's the holidays,
maybe there's a way to spread
even more holiday cheer?

535
00:26:47,732 --> 00:26:49,734
<i>Well, if you think the holidays
need shaking up,</i>

536
00:26:49,734 --> 00:26:51,986
<i>then find a way
to disrupt them, buddy.</i>

537
00:26:51,986 --> 00:26:53,487
<i>The nicest thing you can do
for people</i>

538
00:26:53,487 --> 00:26:55,698
<i>is disrupt their lives
for the better.</i>

539
00:26:55,698 --> 00:26:57,825
<i>- Okay?</i>
- All right.

540
00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:00,953
- I'm going to disrupt
the holidays.
- [thuds]

541
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,455
Um...

542
00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:03,622
Steve.

543
00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:07,835
Look at that.
You've already started.

544
00:27:18,179 --> 00:27:19,722
Thanks, Urkelbot.

545
00:27:19,722 --> 00:27:21,390
If this is going to become
the best holiday ever,

546
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:23,809
I need to become
Santa's Number One Elf.

547
00:27:23,809 --> 00:27:25,227
Ooh! Even better!

548
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:29,106
Santa's Urkelf! But what to do?

549
00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:31,901
Hmm. We might be pulling
an all-nighter.

550
00:27:41,327 --> 00:27:42,870
Ah! I think I've got it!

551
00:27:46,624 --> 00:27:49,585
Oh, that's good.
That's really good.

552
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:51,754
Ow, that's hot!
That's really hot!

553
00:27:57,635 --> 00:28:00,930
One hot cocoa,
milk and two sugars.

554
00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:02,890
Thanks.

555
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:05,476
You catch the game last night?
Nobody was rebounding!

556
00:28:05,476 --> 00:28:09,063
And then they had the nerve
to just play zone defense
for a bunch of possessions.

557
00:28:09,063 --> 00:28:11,190
Good morning, festive friends!

558
00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:13,401
Steve?
What are you doing here?

559
00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:15,986
Wait, are you one of those kids
that wants to pull on
Santa's beard?

560
00:28:15,986 --> 00:28:18,239
Collect the hair to make
a pillow that hears
your wishes?

561
00:28:18,239 --> 00:28:20,324
I've heard about creepy
Santa super fans like you.

562
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:22,076
I'm not a super fan!

563
00:28:22,076 --> 00:28:23,744
I'm here
in an official capacity.

564
00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:26,580
{\an8}[exhales] You're not
one of Santa's helpers.

565
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:30,000
Well, technically speaking,
I'm one of Santa's disrupters!

566
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,211
It's a different department
than helper!

567
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:36,340
I'm here to make sure
the holidays are operating
at peak performance,

568
00:28:36,340 --> 00:28:40,678
and that means making sure
everyone has a great holiday,
even you, big guy.

569
00:28:40,678 --> 00:28:44,515
I was thinking since people
aren't coming to the mall
as much,

570
00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:47,643
how could we get more people
to see DSS?

571
00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:48,811
Start a podcast?

572
00:28:48,811 --> 00:28:51,480
Last night, inspiration struck.

573
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,607
Kids still need to see Santa,

574
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:56,485
so I built something to help
spread a little of that
mall-iday cheer.

575
00:28:56,485 --> 00:28:59,989
I made you an app
that lets kids call you
whenever they want.

576
00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:02,783
You built an app overnight?

577
00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:04,201
And you're still this chipper?

578
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:06,537
Hmm. That's a pretty
great idea, Steve.

579
00:29:06,537 --> 00:29:08,414
So the kids and I
can connect virtually?

580
00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:11,000
Even better.
Let me see your phone.

581
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,334
Don't go through my photos.

582
00:29:12,334 --> 00:29:14,545
Just... bringing it online.

583
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:32,271
- What the--
- That's right.

584
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:34,565
Why just talk to Santa
on your phone

585
00:29:34,565 --> 00:29:38,152
when you can have him
delivered to your door
with the press of a button.

586
00:29:38,152 --> 00:29:43,574
You failed to mention the part
where you also built engine
powered reindeer.

587
00:29:43,574 --> 00:29:47,077
Oh, no no no no no!
I do not like this idea!

588
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:55,461
[screaming]

589
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,261
What the Monterey Jack!

590
00:30:10,768 --> 00:30:13,395
Steve! Stop this thing!
Take us back to the mall!

591
00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:16,941
But you don't want
to disappoint the kid
who just requested you!

592
00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:20,110
Fine! Fine! But at least
slow this thing down!

593
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:21,195
On it.

594
00:30:23,364 --> 00:30:24,406
Whoopsie!

595
00:30:25,783 --> 00:30:26,951
Whoa, whoa.

596
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:33,415
Oh, my gosh! Oh! Oh, my heart!

597
00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:35,417
Santa?

598
00:30:36,252 --> 00:30:37,920
[giggles]

599
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,798
Ho-ho-ho! Hey there. Uh...

600
00:30:40,798 --> 00:30:41,924
Scottie.

601
00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:43,926
Hold up, Steve. Are you an elf?

602
00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:46,637
Did you go through the
six week training program?

603
00:30:46,637 --> 00:30:48,722
Oh. My mistake.

604
00:30:48,722 --> 00:30:49,974
Scottie Harper.

605
00:30:49,974 --> 00:30:51,850
Hello, Scottie.
Why don't you

606
00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,644
hop on Santa's lap
and we can discuss--

607
00:30:53,644 --> 00:30:55,813
- [Urkel] Uh-oh.
- What is "Uh-oh," Steve?

608
00:30:55,813 --> 00:30:57,565
- [Department Store
Santa screams]
- [Scottie yelps]

609
00:30:59,984 --> 00:31:01,569
[Department Store
Santa exclaiming]

610
00:31:03,988 --> 00:31:05,531
How're you do--
[exclaiming]

611
00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:08,117
When I was burning
the midnight oil... [exclaims]

612
00:31:08,117 --> 00:31:10,953
I may have
forgotten to... [exclaims]

613
00:31:10,953 --> 00:31:13,539
create a subroutine...
[exclaims]

614
00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:16,292
to manage the requests...
[exclaims]

615
00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:19,461
So, every kid who's
requesting Santa right now

616
00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:22,298
is going
to get Santa right now?

617
00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:24,717
[all shouting]

618
00:31:24,717 --> 00:31:26,552
[Department Store
Santa shouting indistinctly]

619
00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:30,931
[Department Store
Santa] Steve!

620
00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:33,017
Ho-ho-ho...
[exclaiming]

621
00:31:36,937 --> 00:31:38,105
[exclaiming continues]

622
00:31:38,105 --> 00:31:39,440
Oh, relax, big guy.

623
00:31:40,983 --> 00:31:42,735
It's just a little hiccup.

624
00:31:42,735 --> 00:31:45,154
[Department Store
Santa shouts,
exclaims indistinctly]

625
00:31:45,154 --> 00:31:48,866
A hiccup? Steve,
shut it down! Shut it down!

626
00:31:48,866 --> 00:31:50,868
Take us back
to the mall right now!

627
00:31:50,868 --> 00:31:52,703
- Right now!
- [explosion]

628
00:31:52,703 --> 00:31:55,998
[all whimpering, exclaiming]

629
00:31:55,998 --> 00:32:00,336
Steve, you might wanna
hold on to something!

630
00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:01,712
Huh?

631
00:32:01,712 --> 00:32:03,380
[all screaming]

632
00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:05,841
[explosion]

633
00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:13,891
Nope. No critters
on my bus.

634
00:32:13,891 --> 00:32:16,268
[all continue screaming]

635
00:32:18,729 --> 00:32:20,064
[debris clattering]

636
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,361
[grunts] Whoa, Nelly!

637
00:32:25,361 --> 00:32:26,654
Wait a minute.

638
00:32:26,654 --> 00:32:28,322
Where's
Department Store Santa?

639
00:32:28,322 --> 00:32:30,366
[Department Store
Santa] Steve!

640
00:32:30,366 --> 00:32:32,076
- [yelps, grunts]
- [objects clatter]

641
00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,412
[groans softly]

642
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,499
Did I do that?

643
00:32:38,499 --> 00:32:41,251
[laugh track plays]

644
00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:43,879
What is wrong with you?
[strains, grunts]

645
00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:47,091
I just wanted everyone
to have an amazing holiday.

646
00:32:47,091 --> 00:32:50,886
And you figured you'd do that
by blowing up my sleigh
and destroying my pants?

647
00:32:50,886 --> 00:32:53,347
I have no pants.
I have no pants!

648
00:32:53,347 --> 00:32:56,225
- But you do have
very classy underpants.
- [grunts angrily]

649
00:32:56,225 --> 00:32:58,769
These are bugs
that can be easily fixed.

650
00:32:58,769 --> 00:33:00,854
As Dudley Von Durffel
likes to say--

651
00:33:00,854 --> 00:33:03,232
Dudley Von Durffel
didn't do this, Steve.

652
00:33:03,232 --> 00:33:05,025
You did.

653
00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:07,403
There's a city full of kids
who didn't get to see Santa,

654
00:33:07,403 --> 00:33:10,030
but did see
a bunch of reindeer explode!

655
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:13,200
And to top it off,
you destroyed Pretzelegance.

656
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:14,535
[man crying]

657
00:33:14,535 --> 00:33:17,246
Please, DSS,
this was a beta test.

658
00:33:17,246 --> 00:33:19,415
[reindeer head
crackles, whines, thuds]

659
00:33:19,415 --> 00:33:22,584
I can iron out these
wrinkles, get you back up
and running in no time.

660
00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:24,420
We're all Team Santa here.

661
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:26,130
No, Steve.

662
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:28,549
This is what
I've been trying to tell you.

663
00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:32,302
You're not
one of Santa's helpers. I am.

664
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:35,305
I mean, I was until
you destroyed Santa's Village.

665
00:33:35,305 --> 00:33:37,725
"Destroyed" seems
like a bit of an exaggeration.

666
00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:39,226
[objects creak, thud]

667
00:33:39,226 --> 00:33:41,228
[Urkel] Well, uh...

668
00:33:41,228 --> 00:33:42,771
"Destroyed" makes sense.

669
00:33:42,771 --> 00:33:45,190
Do you wanna know
why I was working here?

670
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:49,319
I wanted to surprise my dad
this year and get him
some ESL classes.

671
00:33:49,319 --> 00:33:52,614
He's from Ecuador
and he always worries
his English isn't good enough.

672
00:33:52,614 --> 00:33:55,075
So, I thought
it would be a great gift.

673
00:33:55,075 --> 00:33:56,869
That is really thoughtful.

674
00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:59,079
But thanks to you, now I can't.

675
00:33:59,079 --> 00:34:01,623
Robin, I didn't mean
to destroy anything.

676
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:04,710
I just wanted
to help make the holidays
the best they can be.

677
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:06,712
You-- You wanna help?
Don't help.

678
00:34:06,712 --> 00:34:09,506
Stay away, very far away.

679
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:11,508
You've ruined everything.

680
00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:13,635
If I were you,
I wouldn't even count
on any horsey cheese.

681
00:34:13,635 --> 00:34:15,429
Uh, donkey cheese.

682
00:34:15,429 --> 00:34:17,014
[yells]

683
00:34:17,014 --> 00:34:19,266
[grunts]

684
00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:20,934
Huh? Mm? Mm.

685
00:34:22,436 --> 00:34:24,897
[indistinct chatter on TV]

686
00:34:24,897 --> 00:34:27,441
[laughter, applause on TV]

687
00:34:32,321 --> 00:34:34,823
{\an8}<i>From mall-iday to malady,</i>

688
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,826
{\an8}<i>Christmas is under attack!</i>

689
00:34:37,826 --> 00:34:39,995
[bystanders screaming]

690
00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:47,878
<i>Did I do that?</i>

691
00:34:47,878 --> 00:34:50,672
[slowed audio]
<i>Did I do that?</i>

692
00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:54,301
{\an8}<i>Oh, ho, ho,
he did do that, America.</i>

693
00:34:54,301 --> 00:34:58,514
{\an8}<i>That bespectacled bully
made a fool of Santa Claus.</i>

694
00:34:58,514 --> 00:35:01,683
{\an8}<i>And since
now I'm showing it to you
on national television,</i>

695
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:06,730
{\an8}<i>he made a fool of Santa Claus
on national television.</i>

696
00:35:06,730 --> 00:35:09,691
Steve, how can you
watch that lady?

697
00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:14,279
Every week,
she's finding a new thing
that is "destroying America."

698
00:35:14,279 --> 00:35:19,284
Last week it was empanadas,
and empanadas are amazing!

699
00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:22,913
My only regret, it took me
so long to learn that.

700
00:35:22,913 --> 00:35:24,623
Urkelbot likes her show.

701
00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:27,251
Probably a good thing
Urkelbot can't talk.

702
00:35:27,251 --> 00:35:28,544
Or vote.

703
00:35:28,544 --> 00:35:30,963
[mechanical
grinding, creaking]

704
00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:34,967
We just wanted to make sure
you were feeling okay
after you blew up the mall.

705
00:35:34,967 --> 00:35:37,261
He didn't blow up the mall.

706
00:35:37,261 --> 00:35:40,264
Sorry. Just a bunch
of reindeer and Pretzelegance.

707
00:35:40,264 --> 00:35:41,640
which, good riddance.

708
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:45,185
Ow! Hey, I'm old.

709
00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:48,397
Mr. Kalan's right.
I messed up the mall-idays.

710
00:35:48,397 --> 00:35:50,566
DSS and Robin are mad at me.

711
00:35:50,566 --> 00:35:53,652
But it's not just that.
I mess up everything.

712
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:56,446
I ruined Jordan's
basketball game
with his friends,

713
00:35:56,446 --> 00:35:58,657
I woke the neighborhood up
super early.

714
00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:01,994
Steve, you're being
too hard on yourself.

715
00:36:01,994 --> 00:36:04,288
Look, you might be a little...

716
00:36:04,288 --> 00:36:06,290
- Awkward?
- Goofy?

717
00:36:06,290 --> 00:36:08,250
A bumbling,
butter-fingered klutz?

718
00:36:08,250 --> 00:36:10,586
I was gonna say, eager.

719
00:36:10,586 --> 00:36:13,881
But we all know
your heart is in
the right place.

720
00:36:13,881 --> 00:36:17,426
{\an8}Dudley Von Durffel said
I should disrupt people's lives
for the better.

721
00:36:17,426 --> 00:36:20,262
{\an8}But when I tried,
I made everything worse.

722
00:36:20,262 --> 00:36:24,099
{\an8}So, I was thinking,
maybe I was disrupting
the wrong thing.

723
00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:28,270
{\an8}Maybe what I need to disrupt
this holiday season is myself.

724
00:36:28,270 --> 00:36:30,856
Don't tell me,
you've built a contraption
that's going to turn you

725
00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:34,443
into some sort
of smooth-talking cool guy.

726
00:36:34,443 --> 00:36:35,903
Not at all.

727
00:36:35,903 --> 00:36:38,447
Being cool has
never been my problem.

728
00:36:38,447 --> 00:36:39,531
Whoa!

729
00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:44,244
Behold, my newest invention.

730
00:36:44,244 --> 00:36:46,955
I call it a nice ticker.

731
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:48,457
It's an okay ticker.

732
00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:50,292
No, it's called a nice ticker.

733
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:52,628
It will help me make sure
the holidays are great

734
00:36:52,628 --> 00:36:54,796
by keeping me
from screwing them up.

735
00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:58,091
Every year, I go over
to Mr. Kalan's to help him
light his menorah.

736
00:36:58,091 --> 00:37:00,594
- And my drapes.
- Exactly.

737
00:37:00,594 --> 00:37:04,473
So, the watch told me that,
this year, I should send
Urkelbot in my place.

738
00:37:04,473 --> 00:37:06,850
You want me
to celebrate Hanukkah
with your robot?

739
00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:10,687
His latkes are delicious.
He makes them with
ricotta cheese.

740
00:37:10,687 --> 00:37:14,483
That sounds
like something from
one of those fancy food shows.

741
00:37:14,483 --> 00:37:18,111
- [watch beeps]
- See, Mr. K's holiday
just got a little better.

742
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:20,739
The more things I do right,
the more points I'll get

743
00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:22,491
while making sure
we stay on track for

744
00:37:22,491 --> 00:37:25,327
a wonderful holiday
that Santa will love!

745
00:37:25,327 --> 00:37:27,204
Oh, Steve.

746
00:37:27,204 --> 00:37:29,998
If you weren't covered
in grease, I'd hug you.

747
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:33,251
- [Urkelbot drones]
- No, thank you, robot.

748
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:37,547
Steve, honey,
the holidays are great
because you're a part of them.

749
00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:40,759
Yeah, Steve.
Isn't today Jay-Z's birthday?

750
00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:43,053
Why don't we all
go Jay-Z caroling?

751
00:37:43,053 --> 00:37:45,722
That would be a wonderful thing
we can all do together.

752
00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:48,684
- [watch buzzes]
- Hmm. The watch
says I shouldn't.

753
00:37:48,684 --> 00:37:53,105
But, Steve, you love
singing loudly on the street.

754
00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:55,148
You can sing the curse words.

755
00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:56,900
Let's be honest.

756
00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:59,611
I bet I'd get really excited
singing "Hard Knock Life,"

757
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,030
and accidentally step
on Mrs. Kochiyama's foot,

758
00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:04,032
which would then
make her jump in pain.

759
00:38:04,032 --> 00:38:06,326
She'd slip on
an icy patch of sidewalk

760
00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:09,287
and go tumbling into Mr. Kalan,
causing him to break his hip.

761
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:12,749
That does sound like
something you could do,

762
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:14,668
and something that
my hip could do.

763
00:38:14,668 --> 00:38:16,420
Yep, it all tracks for me.

764
00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,672
And then, he'd have
to spend Hanukkah
in the hospital.

765
00:38:18,672 --> 00:38:20,424
So, I'd ruin another holiday.

766
00:38:20,424 --> 00:38:23,593
- [watch beeps]
- See, I'm
already scoring points.

767
00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:25,178
Oh, this is great.

768
00:38:25,178 --> 00:38:27,097
You all go. Have fun.

769
00:38:27,097 --> 00:38:30,350
Okay, but it won't be
the same without you.

770
00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:34,354
- [watch beeps]
- According to my data,
it will be 47% better.

771
00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:38,358
Robot, if I fall asleep,
that's not permission for you

772
00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:41,820
to turn my microwave against me
for your robot uprising!

773
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,864
I know what goes on
among youse.

774
00:38:43,864 --> 00:38:46,450
I read books. I got Wi-Fi.

775
00:38:49,411 --> 00:38:50,412
Hey, Urkel, come here.

776
00:38:50,412 --> 00:38:51,913
We could use another player.

777
00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:54,666
This snowman really
isn't playing much D.

778
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,543
- [watch buzzes]
- Hmm.

779
00:38:56,543 --> 00:39:00,380
The last time I was here,
I got everybody
soaked with rain.

780
00:39:00,380 --> 00:39:02,966
I should probably
sit this one out. Thanks.

781
00:39:04,509 --> 00:39:06,011
[watch buzzes]

782
00:39:07,888 --> 00:39:11,391
Okay, holiday boy,
we've gone a mile and a half,

783
00:39:11,391 --> 00:39:14,603
and you haven't
sung a single thing.

784
00:39:14,603 --> 00:39:16,855
- What's up, huh?
- You don't like singing.

785
00:39:16,855 --> 00:39:19,775
And I don't
wanna ruin your day.
So, no singing for me.

786
00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:24,654
So, you're just
gonna sit there all quiet,

787
00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:28,366
even as the wheels on the bus
go round and round?

788
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:31,953
- Round and round,
round and round?
- [muffled exclaiming]

789
00:39:31,953 --> 00:39:33,663
- [watch beeps]
- [sighs]

790
00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:36,083
Have a nice evening,
Sheryl, the bus driver.

791
00:39:36,083 --> 00:39:38,960
You, too, holiday boy.

792
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:42,214
[Jerry over radio]
<i>♪ The wipers on the bus
go swish, swish, swish... ♪</i>

793
00:39:42,214 --> 00:39:45,300
- It was cute when
he does it, Jerry, not you!
- [radio beeps]

794
00:39:52,057 --> 00:39:55,185
Hey, Steve.
What are you doing here?

795
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:58,980
{\an8}I wanted to say sorry
I messed up everything
at Santa's Village.

796
00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:02,192
Thanks. I appreciate that
you came here to apologize.

797
00:40:02,192 --> 00:40:05,195
I know I'm not one
of Santa's official helpers.

798
00:40:05,195 --> 00:40:08,949
But I made you something
that I hope will make
your holiday a little better.

799
00:40:08,949 --> 00:40:13,286
Steve Urkel Industries
proudly presents
my latest invention,

800
00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:15,122
The ESL-met.

801
00:40:15,122 --> 00:40:17,165
It takes
anything you say or hear

802
00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:20,127
and translates it
automatically into
the language of your choice.

803
00:40:20,127 --> 00:40:23,380
[ESL-met speaking Spanish]

804
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:31,263
[chuckles]
If my dad ever needs
to slay a talking dragon

805
00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:32,889
or sing a rap hook,
I'll hit you up.

806
00:40:32,889 --> 00:40:35,308
But I don't think he's much
of a helmet-to-work guy.

807
00:40:35,308 --> 00:40:37,060
[ESL-met speaking Spanish]

808
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:45,944
That's cool, Steve,

809
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:50,615
but I wanted to get my dad
ESL classes myself.

810
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:53,702
Sometimes, he helps me
with my school work.

811
00:40:53,702 --> 00:40:58,331
[chuckles] He'll make up
silly songs to help me
remember math equations.

812
00:40:58,331 --> 00:41:03,003
It's corny, but I like getting
to spend that time with him.

813
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:04,838
I don't know.
I guess I just figured

814
00:41:04,838 --> 00:41:06,840
it'd be fun
to do the same for him.

815
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,593
Trust me.
I've crunched the numbers
and run simulations.

816
00:41:09,593 --> 00:41:11,511
Your dad is going to love this.

817
00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:13,680
He's going to have
the best Christmas ever,

818
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,724
and you're going to have
a great holiday because of it.

819
00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:17,017
- [watch beeps]
- See?

820
00:41:17,017 --> 00:41:18,935
Is that a step counter?

821
00:41:18,935 --> 00:41:20,395
No.

822
00:41:20,395 --> 00:41:21,897
It's my newest invention
to help me make sure

823
00:41:21,897 --> 00:41:24,024
everyone has
the best holiday ever.

824
00:41:24,024 --> 00:41:27,194
It's keeping score
of everything I do to hack
this holiday season.

825
00:41:27,194 --> 00:41:28,862
Who are you keeping score for?

826
00:41:28,862 --> 00:41:31,114
Santa.

827
00:41:31,114 --> 00:41:34,284
He's only going to come
if everything and everyone
is perfect. Even me.

828
00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:36,536
You'll see,
my science is sound.

829
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:38,413
Look, your wreath is crooked.

830
00:41:38,413 --> 00:41:39,915
Hm. Looks fine to me.

831
00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:41,917
Nope. It's off
by three degrees.

832
00:41:41,917 --> 00:41:43,710
Now, that might seem small.

833
00:41:43,710 --> 00:41:46,087
But it could be the difference
between someone walking by

834
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:48,256
and feeling joy to the world,

835
00:41:48,256 --> 00:41:51,801
or simply mild satisfaction
with the globe.

836
00:41:51,801 --> 00:41:56,264
Joy, mild satisfaction.

837
00:41:57,390 --> 00:41:59,976
Joy, mild satisfaction.

838
00:42:01,645 --> 00:42:04,773
Point, no point.

839
00:42:04,773 --> 00:42:07,150
Point, point, point, point.

840
00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:11,321
<i>♪ You make a good point
Point, point, point, point ♪</i>

841
00:42:11,321 --> 00:42:17,160
<i>♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪</i>

842
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,747
<i>♪ Point, point, point ♪</i>

843
00:42:20,747 --> 00:42:23,541
<i>♪ Everywhere I go
I'm trying to be nice ♪</i>

844
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:26,795
<i>♪ Help a bunch of people
So I can rise up ♪</i>

845
00:42:26,795 --> 00:42:29,506
<i>♪ Santa's leaderboard
Doing all these good deeds ♪</i>

846
00:42:29,506 --> 00:42:33,343
<i>♪ And prove to everybody
I'm the help he needs, ooh ♪</i>

847
00:42:33,343 --> 00:42:42,644
<i>♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪</i>

848
00:42:42,644 --> 00:42:45,146
<i>♪ Point, point, point ♪</i>

849
00:42:45,146 --> 00:42:48,400
<i>♪ Those inflatable decorations
look okay ♪</i>

850
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,026
{\an8}<i>♪ They'd look better ♪</i>

851
00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,070
{\an8}<i>♪ With an Urkel
patent-pending light display ♪</i>

852
00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:53,822
<i>♪ Who wants to go caroling ♪</i>

853
00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:55,115
<i>♪ With all this snow
under their feet? ♪</i>

854
00:42:55,115 --> 00:42:56,825
<i>♪ Score some points to build ♪</i>

855
00:42:56,825 --> 00:42:58,535
<i>♪ Something to shovel
the street, ooh ♪</i>

856
00:42:58,535 --> 00:43:07,961
<i>♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪</i>

857
00:43:07,961 --> 00:43:10,505
<i>♪ Point, point, point ♪</i>

858
00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:13,883
<i>♪ I'm showing everybody
That I got what it takes ♪</i>

859
00:43:13,883 --> 00:43:17,012
<i>♪ To spread the holiday spirit
Without making mistakes ♪</i>

860
00:43:17,012 --> 00:43:19,848
<i>♪ Santa's gonna be impressed
When he sees what I've done ♪</i>

861
00:43:19,848 --> 00:43:21,599
<i>♪ This city's full
of nice points ♪</i>

862
00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:23,893
<i>♪ And I've just begun, ooh ♪</i>

863
00:43:29,691 --> 00:43:33,236
<i>♪ Spreading holiday cheer
ain't some game you can win ♪</i>

864
00:43:33,236 --> 00:43:36,489
<i>♪ It's a feeling
that comes from within ♪</i>

865
00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:39,117
<i>♪ Sure, you can fix a wreath
Or decorate some trees ♪</i>

866
00:43:39,117 --> 00:43:42,329
<i>♪ But I think you might have
misplaced your priorities ♪</i>

867
00:43:42,329 --> 00:43:44,080
[people scream]

868
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:45,957
<i>♪ Gifts are great
When they mean something more ♪</i>

869
00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:48,501
<i>♪ Than an empty attempt
just to raise your score ♪</i>

870
00:43:48,501 --> 00:43:50,170
<i>♪ If you cared
about my feelings ♪</i>

871
00:43:50,170 --> 00:43:51,796
<i>♪ Then you should've come too ♪</i>

872
00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:53,340
<i>♪ Not some dumb watch
telling you ♪</i>

873
00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:55,008
<i>♪ What it thinks
you should do ♪</i>

874
00:43:55,008 --> 00:43:56,384
<i>♪ Oh, points ♪</i>

875
00:43:56,384 --> 00:43:58,553
<i>♪ Point, point
Point, point ♪</i>

876
00:43:58,553 --> 00:44:04,851
<i>♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪</i>

877
00:44:04,851 --> 00:44:07,937
<i>♪ Point, point, point ♪</i>

878
00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:11,232
<i>♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪</i>

879
00:44:11,232 --> 00:44:14,444
<i>- ♪ Point, point, point ♪
- ♪ You make a point? ♪</i>

880
00:44:14,444 --> 00:44:17,364
<i>♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪</i>

881
00:44:17,364 --> 00:44:19,616
<i>♪ Point, point, point ♪</i>

882
00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:23,661
<i>♪ You're missing the point
Point, point, point, point ♪</i>

883
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:30,043
<i>♪ Point, point, point
Point, point ♪</i>

884
00:44:30,043 --> 00:44:32,420
Steve, you're
missing the point.

885
00:44:34,547 --> 00:44:36,257
Happy mall-idays.

886
00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:38,676
I hope you have a wonderful
shopping experience.

887
00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:40,345
Where's that holiday smile?

888
00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:42,013
[watch beeps]

889
00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:44,682
Hey, Mrs. P.
Doing some malI-iday shopping?

890
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:47,936
Yep. Got all my presents
for my sister's family.

891
00:44:47,936 --> 00:44:51,314
Can I count on you to help me
gift-wrap everything this year?

892
00:44:51,314 --> 00:44:54,526
I'll make eggnog cookies
and we can watch a scary movie.

893
00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:58,279
- [watch buzzes]
- My nice ticker reminded me
that I'm bad at wrapping gifts.

894
00:44:58,279 --> 00:45:00,990
Every year, I mess it up
and you have to
rewrap everything

895
00:45:00,990 --> 00:45:03,993
while I eat all the cookies
and fall asleep on your sofa.

896
00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:05,328
I don't mind.

897
00:45:05,328 --> 00:45:07,330
It's nice having your company.

898
00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:10,166
Thanks. But if you want
to have a wonderful holiday,

899
00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:12,252
you need someone or something

900
00:45:12,252 --> 00:45:15,380
that can help you wrap up
those gifts, lickety-split.

901
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:17,465
That's why I built you this.

902
00:45:17,465 --> 00:45:20,635
It's a giftwrapping
machine that I call
The Hardcore Wrapper.

903
00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:24,973
It can make paper, mix tape
and get jingly with it, baby.

904
00:45:24,973 --> 00:45:26,766
There's not a box
it can't beat.

905
00:45:27,934 --> 00:45:29,018
Ooh.

906
00:45:30,228 --> 00:45:31,479
What is it?

907
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:33,690
It's a coffee mug warmer
for my niece.

908
00:45:33,690 --> 00:45:36,276
I found it at
that fancy tech store.

909
00:45:36,276 --> 00:45:38,945
You put a cup on it
and it stays warm.

910
00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,572
How old is your niece?

911
00:45:40,572 --> 00:45:43,324
She's nine.
Do you think she'll like it?

912
00:45:43,324 --> 00:45:45,660
[watch trills, dings]

913
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:48,663
Sure. Why don't we
get our wrap on?

914
00:45:50,415 --> 00:45:52,500
[Hardcore Wrapper whirring]

915
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:55,128
- Oh, wow, that's wonderful.
- [watch beeps]

916
00:45:55,128 --> 00:45:56,921
Feel free to wrap away.

917
00:45:56,921 --> 00:45:59,299
I need to head inside
and check on DSS.

918
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:03,887
Look at me.
I'm a hardcore wrapper.

919
00:46:03,887 --> 00:46:05,722
Oh, you don't want
none of this, honey.

920
00:46:05,722 --> 00:46:08,892
I spit bars,
fire, fire bars.

921
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,063
Well, well, well,

922
00:46:14,063 --> 00:46:16,483
if it isn't Mr. Donkey Cheese.

923
00:46:16,483 --> 00:46:18,067
- [camera shutter clicks]
- [grunts] Robin!

924
00:46:18,067 --> 00:46:19,903
Hey, DSS,

925
00:46:19,903 --> 00:46:22,906
I just wanted to apologize
for screwing things up.

926
00:46:22,906 --> 00:46:24,115
I'm sorry.

927
00:46:24,115 --> 00:46:25,617
Thanks, Steve.

928
00:46:25,617 --> 00:46:28,828
I'll be honest.
I was mad at you.

929
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:32,457
But for you to come here now
and apologize to me,

930
00:46:32,457 --> 00:46:34,375
face-to-face...

931
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:36,169
- Aw, geez...
- [camera shutter clicks]

932
00:46:36,169 --> 00:46:38,338
- [sputters]
I said, geez!
- [camera shutter clicks]

933
00:46:38,338 --> 00:46:40,798
[chuckles] What?
It was a touching moment.

934
00:46:40,798 --> 00:46:42,926
To show you how sorry I am,

935
00:46:42,926 --> 00:46:44,594
I wanted to give you something.

936
00:46:44,594 --> 00:46:47,138
That's very nice.
But my doctor said

937
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,474
my heart can't take
any more gifts from you.

938
00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:51,518
Oh, but you're
already wearing it.

939
00:46:51,518 --> 00:46:53,311
I fixed your Santa suit.

940
00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:56,231
You did this?
Thought this was from the mall.

941
00:46:56,231 --> 00:46:57,732
The fit is nice.

942
00:46:57,732 --> 00:46:59,609
Look at your boy,
all swagged out.

943
00:46:59,609 --> 00:47:02,403
You got Santa
looking like a hype piece.

944
00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:05,615
Wait. It's not gonna do
something weird, is it?

945
00:47:05,615 --> 00:47:08,409
Nope. No tech.
Just sewed it up with

946
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:10,036
- a needle and some thread.
- [watch beeps]

947
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:13,498
Thanks, Steve.
We're all gravy, and cheese.

948
00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:18,920
Nothing? You're not gonna
take a photo of this 'fit?

949
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,129
I look good.

950
00:47:20,129 --> 00:47:22,090
Between you and me, DSS,

951
00:47:22,090 --> 00:47:24,342
your suit wasn't in
the best shape to begin with.

952
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:26,970
So, I reinforced everything
with some synthetic fabric

953
00:47:26,970 --> 00:47:29,722
to make sure
it stayed both soft and sturdy.

954
00:47:29,722 --> 00:47:32,433
Synthetic fabric?
Like polyester?

955
00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:34,769
Wow, Steve, I was wrong.

956
00:47:34,769 --> 00:47:36,396
You really are
winning the holidays.

957
00:47:36,396 --> 00:47:38,356
And it's only gonna get better.

958
00:47:38,356 --> 00:47:40,608
This year, we're gonna
knock Santa's socks off.

959
00:47:40,608 --> 00:47:43,570
[shouting] I'm allergic
to synthetic fabrics.

960
00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:44,779
Or his pants.

961
00:47:44,779 --> 00:47:47,115
It's like
super-soft poison ivy!

962
00:47:47,115 --> 00:47:49,617
It's nice and painful.

963
00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:51,744
Aah! When I scratch,
it makes my fingers itchy.

964
00:47:51,744 --> 00:47:52,787
[Mrs. Paxson] Steve!

965
00:47:52,787 --> 00:47:54,122
[people screaming]

966
00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:58,084
Oh, no. I'm
making things worse.

967
00:47:58,084 --> 00:47:59,419
Hold on. Hold on.

968
00:47:59,419 --> 00:48:01,629
I know what to do.
I can fix this.

969
00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:04,632
[all] No!
Don't fix anything!

970
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,217
But... But...

971
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:09,637
What we need is
someone to disrupt you, Steve.

972
00:48:09,637 --> 00:48:12,265
- [clamoring
in the background]
- Wait a menorah.

973
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:14,475
I know just the guy.

974
00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,772
This guy says
my hair looks fake?

975
00:48:19,772 --> 00:48:21,858
What? [hesitates] No.

976
00:48:21,858 --> 00:48:23,359
Hi-ho, Dudley.

977
00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:24,694
[screams, grunts]

978
00:48:24,694 --> 00:48:27,113
Who are you?
How'd you get here?

979
00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:31,159
Are you one of those ghosts
here to show me my Christmas
past, present, or future?

980
00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:33,494
No, it's me, Steve Urkel.

981
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:36,247
We met the other day,
fellow disruptor.

982
00:48:36,247 --> 00:48:38,708
- Who?
-@steveurkel.

983
00:48:38,708 --> 00:48:42,295
@steveurkel, IRL?

984
00:48:42,295 --> 00:48:44,797
Uh, okay.
Uh, what can I do for you?

985
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:47,508
I took your advice and
tried to disrupt the holidays

986
00:48:47,508 --> 00:48:49,469
and make everything
perfect for Santa.

987
00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:51,929
I built this nice ticker
that pushes me to find ways

988
00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:54,307
to make sure everyone
had a great holiday.

989
00:48:54,307 --> 00:48:56,309
But I kept
screwing everything up.

990
00:48:56,309 --> 00:48:59,646
Hmm. You've gamified
being in the holiday spirit?

991
00:48:59,646 --> 00:49:03,733
[laughs] That's fire... emoji.

992
00:49:03,733 --> 00:49:06,402
I don't think the problem
is you, @steveurkel.

993
00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:08,237
It's not?

994
00:49:08,237 --> 00:49:10,907
You turned the holidays
into an amazing game.

995
00:49:10,907 --> 00:49:12,700
But a game is only good

996
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:15,953
if you can get other people
to play it, too, okay?

997
00:49:15,953 --> 00:49:17,747
What if we
scaled this up a bit?

998
00:49:17,747 --> 00:49:20,124
And got everyone
playing for the holidays?

999
00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:21,668
Exactly.

1000
00:49:21,668 --> 00:49:23,378
Maybe we lose the watch
and turn it into an app.

1001
00:49:23,378 --> 00:49:25,171
A really nice app?

1002
00:49:25,171 --> 00:49:28,508
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
But how about
a Von Durffel app?

1003
00:49:28,508 --> 00:49:30,593
Ooh. That's wonderful.

1004
00:49:30,593 --> 00:49:33,221
No, kid, it's Von Durffel.

1005
00:49:33,221 --> 00:49:35,682
VDI, get the dev team
on this, stat.

1006
00:49:35,682 --> 00:49:38,059
- I want this live in 24 hours.
- [Urkel grunts]

1007
00:49:38,059 --> 00:49:39,769
Can you get it ready
in 24 hours?

1008
00:49:39,769 --> 00:49:41,604
You're right.
Let's do it in six.

1009
00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:43,815
[chuckles]
Congratulations, kid.

1010
00:49:43,815 --> 00:49:45,692
You're about
to disrupt the world.

1011
00:49:45,692 --> 00:49:47,068
[watch beeps]

1012
00:49:48,903 --> 00:49:50,321
You have a question?

1013
00:49:50,321 --> 00:49:51,989
No, I was...
I was trying to high-five you.

1014
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:54,534
Oh. It looked like
you had a question.

1015
00:49:54,534 --> 00:49:56,369
Maybe angle
your arm down a little more.

1016
00:49:56,369 --> 00:50:00,039
Or maybe, I was disrupting
the way we do the high-five.

1017
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:01,749
Very cool.

1018
00:50:01,749 --> 00:50:03,626
[chuckles] Thanks.

1019
00:50:03,626 --> 00:50:05,878
Now, let's get you
off my boat.

1020
00:50:05,878 --> 00:50:09,257
[sighs] Dudley's app
should be online now.

1021
00:50:09,257 --> 00:50:12,844
Oh, wow.
So many people
have already downloaded it.

1022
00:50:12,844 --> 00:50:14,262
That's great.

1023
00:50:14,262 --> 00:50:16,097
Oh, Santa's gonna
be so proud of me.

1024
00:50:16,097 --> 00:50:18,474
Everything's gonna be
so festive that he'll
make sure

1025
00:50:18,474 --> 00:50:20,476
this is the best holiday ever.

1026
00:50:32,321 --> 00:50:34,615
<i>♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪</i>

1027
00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:37,034
<i>♪ We make the cheese
That's soft as silk ♪</i>

1028
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:39,954
<i>♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪</i>

1029
00:50:39,954 --> 00:50:42,290
[Urkel] [laughs]
Ooh, that tickles.

1030
00:50:42,290 --> 00:50:44,625
<i>♪ Steve in the milk
Steve in the milk ♪</i>

1031
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:46,878
<i>♪ We make the cheese
That's soft as silk ♪</i>

1032
00:50:46,878 --> 00:50:48,171
[Urkel exclaims]

1033
00:50:49,255 --> 00:50:51,466
[gasps, exclaims]

1034
00:50:51,466 --> 00:50:53,468
[Urkel panting]

1035
00:50:57,263 --> 00:50:59,599
[yelps, exclaiming]

1036
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:02,727
Whee...

1037
00:51:05,563 --> 00:51:08,858
Oh, Steve, you're
the nicest kid ever.

1038
00:51:08,858 --> 00:51:12,653
You made me so-ho-ho happy!

1039
00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:20,828
If you don't like it,
you can get out.

1040
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:24,540
Ujamaa, bless us, everyone.

1041
00:51:24,540 --> 00:51:26,626
[synth music playing]

1042
00:51:34,175 --> 00:51:36,219
Just call me Stefan Urquellebot

1043
00:51:36,219 --> 00:51:38,721
You saved the holidays, Steve.

1044
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,264
Ho-ho-ho, ho!

1045
00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:43,100
You're my official
holiday helper.

1046
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,894
You hear that, everybody?

1047
00:51:44,894 --> 00:51:47,814
- Steve Urkel!
- [crowd cheering]

1048
00:51:49,232 --> 00:51:50,858
[snoring]

1049
00:51:52,151 --> 00:51:54,320
Good morning, Mr. Kalan.

1050
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:55,822
Good morning, Steve.

1051
00:51:55,822 --> 00:51:58,032
Just turning
the Kochiyamas' car

1052
00:51:58,032 --> 00:52:00,952
into everybody's
favorite Christmas character,

1053
00:52:00,952 --> 00:52:02,995
Rudy, the holiday moose.

1054
00:52:02,995 --> 00:52:04,997
I think you mean reindeer?

1055
00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:08,125
- Their car is a reindeer.
- Moose, reindeer,
what's the difference?

1056
00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:10,002
I mean, they're
different subspecies,

1057
00:52:10,002 --> 00:52:11,963
not to mention,
antler size and shape.

1058
00:52:11,963 --> 00:52:13,047
[phone beeps]

1059
00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:16,342
Yes! Seventeen points!

1060
00:52:16,342 --> 00:52:19,136
- Ooh, <i>chag sameach,</i> Mr. Kalan.
- [phone beeps]

1061
00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:22,557
We've spent all morning
perfecting a matzah ball
soup recipe.

1062
00:52:22,557 --> 00:52:24,225
And some rugelach.

1063
00:52:24,225 --> 00:52:27,144
Let's get in that kitchen
and get you a Hanukkah meal.

1064
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:29,021
- [phone beeps]
- Yes!

1065
00:52:29,021 --> 00:52:31,440
That's so wonderful.

1066
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:34,443
Did you see Rudy, the moose?

1067
00:52:34,443 --> 00:52:37,947
It's nice. We don't
really celebrate Christmas.
But thank you.

1068
00:52:37,947 --> 00:52:39,365
- [phone buzzes]
- [grunts]

1069
00:52:39,365 --> 00:52:41,200
I got you, Kochiyamas.

1070
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,828
For the new year,
you celebrate with
a kagami mochi.

1071
00:52:43,828 --> 00:52:46,455
- And I made you
a lawn ornament.
- [phone beeps]

1072
00:52:46,455 --> 00:52:48,249
- [phone beeps]
- [exclaims] Yes!

1073
00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:51,002
Take that, Mr. Kalan.

1074
00:52:51,002 --> 00:52:53,921
Livingstons, you
celebrate Kwanzaa, right?

1075
00:52:53,921 --> 00:52:55,381
Let me help you do that!

1076
00:52:55,381 --> 00:52:58,718
- Happy holiday, Steve.
- [phone beeps]

1077
00:52:58,718 --> 00:53:01,679
I said it first.
Why didn't I get more points?

1078
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,932
{\an8}No, Horace.
I insist your team
have the ball.

1079
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:07,518
{\an8}- Happy holidays.
- [phone beeps]

1080
00:53:07,518 --> 00:53:10,021
{\an8}- [phone beeps]
- Oh, thank you very much.

1081
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,150
{\an8}Look at that.
It's your ball again.

1082
00:53:14,150 --> 00:53:16,235
{\an8}- I think that counts
as a Christmas gift.
- [phone beeps]

1083
00:53:16,235 --> 00:53:18,321
Hey, Jordan, what's the score?

1084
00:53:18,321 --> 00:53:19,822
Oh, nothing-to-nothing.

1085
00:53:19,822 --> 00:53:22,867
But I've already got
38 Von Durffel points.

1086
00:53:22,867 --> 00:53:24,327
But what about basketball?

1087
00:53:24,327 --> 00:53:26,037
This is better than basketball.

1088
00:53:28,039 --> 00:53:31,792
Oh, look at that.
I accidentally
scored on myself.

1089
00:53:31,792 --> 00:53:35,755
- That's two points for you,
Horace and ten points for me.
- [phones beep]

1090
00:53:35,755 --> 00:53:38,466
For being so charitable
this holiday season.

1091
00:53:44,305 --> 00:53:47,934
Hey, holiday boy. Need a lift?

1092
00:53:47,934 --> 00:53:50,394
<i>♪ Dashing through the snow ♪</i>

1093
00:53:50,394 --> 00:53:52,021
- I'm good.
- [Sheryl humming]

1094
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:01,072
[phones beeping]

1095
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:04,325
[woman gasps]

1096
00:54:04,325 --> 00:54:06,369
- Happy holidays.
- [phone beeps]

1097
00:54:06,369 --> 00:54:10,665
Merry Christmas, Hanukkah,
Boxing Day, Kwanzaa,
Festivus to you.

1098
00:54:10,665 --> 00:54:12,291
[phone beeps]

1099
00:54:12,291 --> 00:54:14,168
Your smile
just brightened my day

1100
00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:15,920
- this holiday season.
- [phone beeps]

1101
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,339
Your smile is
all the Christmas, Hanukkah,

1102
00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:21,926
Boxing Day, Kwanzaa,
Solstice, Festivus gift I need.

1103
00:54:21,926 --> 00:54:24,512
- A fabulous day to you.
- [phone beeps]

1104
00:54:24,512 --> 00:54:27,473
Would you stop, Gary?
You're messing up my points.

1105
00:54:27,473 --> 00:54:31,185
You're not being very merry
by telling me what to do.

1106
00:54:31,185 --> 00:54:33,104
[phones beeping]

1107
00:54:33,104 --> 00:54:35,982
[Department Store Santa]
I don't care what your grades are. You,
young man, deserve a puppy.

1108
00:54:35,982 --> 00:54:39,026
You hear that? This little boy
is getting a puppy,

1109
00:54:39,026 --> 00:54:41,404
even if Santa
has to get you one himself.

1110
00:54:41,404 --> 00:54:44,991
- Isn't that nice
of Santa? [laughs]
- [phone beeps]

1111
00:54:44,991 --> 00:54:46,909
Yes. A hundred points.

1112
00:54:46,909 --> 00:54:49,036
Okay, come on,
give me another kid.
Give me another kid.

1113
00:54:49,036 --> 00:54:50,746
Whoa-ho-ho.

1114
00:54:50,746 --> 00:54:54,125
- Whatever you want, little girl, Santa's
got you covered. You want world peace?
Santa will figure it out.
- [phone beeps]

1115
00:54:54,125 --> 00:54:55,167
Oh, Steve!

1116
00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:57,378
[kids laughing]

1117
00:54:57,378 --> 00:55:00,589
You want to rip my pants off
again, make me look silly?

1118
00:55:00,589 --> 00:55:04,176
Isn't that
a holly-jolly good time?

1119
00:55:04,176 --> 00:55:06,887
- What's going on?
- [phones beeping]

1120
00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:09,515
I don't know you,
but I got you
this holiday card.

1121
00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:11,934
I got you one first.
Season's greetings!

1122
00:55:11,934 --> 00:55:13,269
[woman screams]

1123
00:55:13,269 --> 00:55:14,937
I don't believe this.

1124
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:17,189
These people aren't
spreading holiday cheer.

1125
00:55:17,189 --> 00:55:19,734
They're more focused
on treating it like a game.

1126
00:55:19,734 --> 00:55:21,610
Isn't that what you were doing?

1127
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:24,196
No. I was just trying to...

1128
00:55:24,196 --> 00:55:28,451
win over Santa
by getting a perfect score.

1129
00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:31,245
Oh, no.

1130
00:55:31,245 --> 00:55:33,539
Did I do this?

1131
00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:35,332
[phones beeping]

1132
00:55:39,628 --> 00:55:41,672
- Hey, kid, let's go caroling.
- [phones beeping
in the background]

1133
00:55:41,672 --> 00:55:45,468
Everyone loves caroling,
and it'll give me some points.

1134
00:55:45,468 --> 00:55:47,720
Do you even wanna go caroling?

1135
00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:49,597
No, I just want points.

1136
00:55:50,473 --> 00:55:52,224
Points!

1137
00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:54,852
No! I need those points.

1138
00:55:54,852 --> 00:55:56,187
Let's make a gingerbread house.

1139
00:55:56,187 --> 00:55:57,855
Let's make
ten gingerbread houses.

1140
00:55:57,855 --> 00:55:59,648
Let's make a gingerbread city!

1141
00:55:59,648 --> 00:56:02,151
No, he's going
caroling with me.

1142
00:56:02,151 --> 00:56:04,487
Fun fact. Did you know
the fifth day of Kwanzaa

1143
00:56:04,487 --> 00:56:07,198
is all about points?

1144
00:56:08,824 --> 00:56:10,826
[both yelling, screaming]

1145
00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:16,999
This game is offering
daily cash prizes

1146
00:56:16,999 --> 00:56:18,667
and a million dollars
to the person

1147
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:21,504
who gets the highest score
of the month!

1148
00:56:21,504 --> 00:56:23,422
What? No.

1149
00:56:23,422 --> 00:56:26,300
Dudley's app is bribing people
to get into the holiday spirit.

1150
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:27,927
This isn't right.

1151
00:56:27,927 --> 00:56:30,679
Maybe not, but it only
costs a few bucks to play,

1152
00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:33,182
and if I win, I could get paid.

1153
00:56:33,182 --> 00:56:34,600
Robin...

1154
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:37,812
[slowed audio] No...

1155
00:56:40,773 --> 00:56:42,733
[phone beeps]

1156
00:56:42,733 --> 00:56:44,610
Happy holiday, Steve.

1157
00:56:44,610 --> 00:56:46,779
Where's that holiday smile?

1158
00:56:46,779 --> 00:56:49,698
You're one of Santa's
holiday helpers, aren't you?

1159
00:56:49,698 --> 00:56:52,118
- We should get you a hat.
- [phone beeps]

1160
00:56:52,118 --> 00:56:53,953
Let's get you some eggnog

1161
00:56:53,953 --> 00:56:57,373
and sing some
[voice distorts] carols.

1162
00:56:57,373 --> 00:56:59,416
[pants, grunts]

1163
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:02,586
Hey, there, Steve.
You still want
donkey cheese for Christmas?

1164
00:57:02,586 --> 00:57:04,672
Because I'll get it for you.

1165
00:57:04,672 --> 00:57:07,216
- If I win this game,
I'll buy you all the cheese.
- [phones beeping]

1166
00:57:07,216 --> 00:57:09,301
So why don't you
sing some carols with me,

1167
00:57:09,301 --> 00:57:11,053
[voice distorts]
and I can get these points?

1168
00:57:11,053 --> 00:57:12,179
Oh, no!

1169
00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:14,640
[hisses] Points...

1170
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,308
[Urkel whimpers]

1171
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:19,311
The mall is getting
the biggest tree we can find,

1172
00:57:19,311 --> 00:57:20,729
- just for you.
- [phone beeps]

1173
00:57:20,729 --> 00:57:22,356
Will you help us decorate it

1174
00:57:22,356 --> 00:57:25,109
for the points?

1175
00:57:25,109 --> 00:57:26,569
[panting]

1176
00:57:28,529 --> 00:57:30,322
[sighs]

1177
00:57:30,322 --> 00:57:32,158
Where's your
ugly sweater? Points.

1178
00:57:32,158 --> 00:57:34,618
Want to watch some
holiday movies on my phone?

1179
00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:36,871
[voice distorts] For points.

1180
00:57:36,871 --> 00:57:38,789
[Urkel panting]

1181
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:40,166
[grunts]

1182
00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:42,168
[woman] Points...

1183
00:57:42,168 --> 00:57:44,753
Steve, I think
your sweater isn't
the right Christmas green.

1184
00:57:44,753 --> 00:57:47,006
- It needs to be
a shade lighter.
- [phone beeps]

1185
00:57:47,006 --> 00:57:49,675
- Take a seat and let me
tell you the story of Hanukkah.
- [phone beeps]

1186
00:57:49,675 --> 00:57:52,094
- It's known as
the Festival of Lights.
- [phone beeps]

1187
00:57:52,094 --> 00:57:54,722
- [gasps]
- [Department Store Santa]
Points...

1188
00:57:54,722 --> 00:57:56,765
- [grunts]
- [crowd] Points...

1189
00:57:56,765 --> 00:57:58,726
[Urkel gasps, grunts]

1190
00:57:58,726 --> 00:58:01,312
Come on! I built you.
Why aren't you starting?

1191
00:58:01,312 --> 00:58:05,399
[crowd] Points, points...

1192
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:07,234
- That is very cool.
- [phone beeps]

1193
00:58:07,234 --> 00:58:10,529
It's a Christmas mitzvah,
how you mess with my things.

1194
00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:12,406
Oh, come on. Come on.

1195
00:58:15,075 --> 00:58:17,411
- [reindeer revs]
- [crowd yells]

1196
00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:19,830
I'll bring it back, I promise!

1197
00:58:19,830 --> 00:58:23,292
- Or don't. I'm generous
and charitable that way.
- [phone beeping]

1198
00:58:23,292 --> 00:58:26,462
[in deep voice]
As long as I get these points.

1199
00:58:27,338 --> 00:58:28,589
Yes.

1200
00:58:28,589 --> 00:58:30,341
Would you like
to sing a carol with me?

1201
00:58:30,341 --> 00:58:32,468
- I thought you'd never ask.
- [phones continue beeping]

1202
00:58:32,468 --> 00:58:34,386
[all]
<i>♪ Points points, points
Points, points, points ♪</i>

1203
00:58:34,386 --> 00:58:36,680
<i>♪ Points points
Points, points, points ♪</i>

1204
00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:46,523
<i>♪ I thought I was a nice kid ♪</i>

1205
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:49,818
<i>♪ But maybe I'm a troll ♪</i>

1206
00:58:49,818 --> 00:58:53,697
<i>♪ 'Cause every time
I try to help ♪</i>

1207
00:58:53,697 --> 00:58:57,326
<i>♪ I seem to miss my goal ♪</i>

1208
00:58:57,326 --> 00:59:00,454
<i>♪ I wanted to make
The holidays better ♪</i>

1209
00:59:00,454 --> 00:59:04,124
<i>♪ But I made everything worse ♪</i>

1210
00:59:04,124 --> 00:59:07,002
<i>♪ I'm not a holiday gift ♪</i>

1211
00:59:07,002 --> 00:59:11,048
<i>♪ I'm a Christmas curse ♪</i>

1212
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:14,009
<i>♪ He's not a holiday gift ♪</i>

1213
00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:18,305
<i>♪ He's a Christmas curse ♪</i>

1214
00:59:18,305 --> 00:59:21,392
<i>♪ Everything was fine ♪</i>

1215
00:59:21,392 --> 00:59:27,314
<i>♪ Until I got invo...</i>
[clears throat] <i>...olved ♪</i>

1216
00:59:30,442 --> 00:59:33,028
<i>♪ So if I run away ♪</i>

1217
00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:37,908
<i>♪ Maybe the problem
will be solved ♪</i>

1218
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:40,160
<i>♪ If he runs away ♪</i>

1219
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:44,623
<i>♪ Maybe the problem
will be solved ♪</i>

1220
00:59:44,623 --> 00:59:47,918
<i>♪ I wanted to make
the holidays better ♪</i>

1221
00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:51,213
<i>♪ But I only
made things worse ♪</i>

1222
00:59:51,213 --> 00:59:54,425
<i>♪ I'm not a holiday gift ♪</i>

1223
00:59:54,425 --> 00:59:58,387
<i>♪ I'm a Christmas curse ♪</i>

1224
00:59:58,387 --> 01:00:01,348
<i>♪ He's not a holiday gift ♪</i>

1225
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:05,311
<i>♪ He's a Christmas curse ♪</i>

1226
01:00:05,311 --> 01:00:07,271
- [reindeer sputtering]
- Oh...

1227
01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:10,065
- Uh-oh.
- [reindeer crashes]

1228
01:00:10,065 --> 01:00:12,401
[yelps]

1229
01:00:14,153 --> 01:00:15,821
[groaning]

1230
01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:19,658
Where am I?

1231
01:00:25,039 --> 01:00:27,124
- [screams]
- [roars]

1232
01:00:28,417 --> 01:00:29,835
[phone trilling]

1233
01:00:29,835 --> 01:00:33,630
[exclaims, grunts]
Kid, calm down, please.

1234
01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:34,840
You can talk?

1235
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,593
Yes. You've got
good aim, Steve.

1236
01:00:37,593 --> 01:00:40,012
Well, only when I'm terrified.

1237
01:00:40,012 --> 01:00:42,514
Wait, how do you know my name?

1238
01:00:42,514 --> 01:00:44,850
I know every kid's name.

1239
01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:47,895
It's kind of my thing,
being Santa and all.

1240
01:00:47,895 --> 01:00:49,563
You're Santa Claus?

1241
01:00:49,563 --> 01:00:51,440
In the fur.

1242
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,567
[sputters] You're a...

1243
01:00:53,567 --> 01:00:55,736
Yes, Steve Urkel.

1244
01:00:55,736 --> 01:00:57,571
Santa Claus is a yeti!

1245
01:00:59,406 --> 01:01:02,201
No, no, no, no, no.
That's ridiculous.

1246
01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:03,952
I've been
helping Santa for years.

1247
01:01:03,952 --> 01:01:06,288
Officially, or off the books?

1248
01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:07,873
That's not important.

1249
01:01:07,873 --> 01:01:10,667
As a self-taught Santa expert,
what I know is,

1250
01:01:10,667 --> 01:01:12,419
Santa can't be a yeti.

1251
01:01:12,419 --> 01:01:14,046
[upbeat music playing]

1252
01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:19,385
<i>♪ Santa Claus is a yeti ♪</i>

1253
01:01:19,385 --> 01:01:21,720
<i>♪ What's the problem
that you see? ♪</i>

1254
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:24,765
<i>♪ Does that challenge
your idea ♪</i>

1255
01:01:24,765 --> 01:01:27,017
<i>♪ Of who a yeti should be? ♪</i>

1256
01:01:27,017 --> 01:01:29,645
<i>♪ You might see a monster ♪</i>

1257
01:01:29,645 --> 01:01:31,939
<i>♪ But I'm a friendly-o ♪</i>

1258
01:01:31,939 --> 01:01:34,566
<i>♪ Yeti dressed in reddy
With a big, big belly ♪</i>

1259
01:01:34,566 --> 01:01:36,985
<i>♪ And a fuzzy, fuzzy beard
Living in the North Pole ♪</i>

1260
01:01:36,985 --> 01:01:40,489
But there's never been
scientific proof
of your existence.

1261
01:01:40,489 --> 01:01:42,116
Not Santa Claus. Yetis.

1262
01:01:42,116 --> 01:01:43,992
Ouch! That hurts.

1263
01:01:43,992 --> 01:01:47,371
Uh, I guess you know a lot of
centuries-old humans.

1264
01:01:47,371 --> 01:01:49,081
Well, my grandma's
pretty old.

1265
01:01:49,081 --> 01:01:51,500
But can she fit down a chimney
carrying a bag of toys

1266
01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:52,835
without being seen?

1267
01:01:52,835 --> 01:01:56,046
I can. It's what
we Bigfoots are great at.

1268
01:01:56,046 --> 01:01:58,090
Doors, on the other hand,
confuse the heck out of me.

1269
01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,759
Turn and pull
and then go in.
[sighs] Oh.

1270
01:02:00,759 --> 01:02:03,804
Wait a minute.
People have seen
Santa before.

1271
01:02:03,804 --> 01:02:06,098
I try to stay hidden
as much as possible,

1272
01:02:06,098 --> 01:02:12,187
but a few lucky children
have gazed upon
this beautiful visage.

1273
01:02:12,187 --> 01:02:16,024
So by now,
somebody would have said
Santa's a yeti

1274
01:02:16,024 --> 01:02:19,153
or gotten upset
that you don't look like
a biker after a spa day.

1275
01:02:19,153 --> 01:02:20,320
<i>♪ Oh ♪</i>

1276
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:21,989
<i>♪ People have opinions ♪</i>

1277
01:02:21,989 --> 01:02:24,408
<i>♪ Of how we should
look and sound ♪</i>

1278
01:02:24,408 --> 01:02:26,869
<i>♪ If you challenge
their beliefs ♪</i>

1279
01:02:26,869 --> 01:02:30,038
{\an8}<i>♪ They tend
to put you down ♪</i>

1280
01:02:30,038 --> 01:02:33,625
{\an8}<i>♪ They've made a reality
That's comfortable to them ♪</i>

1281
01:02:33,625 --> 01:02:35,794
{\an8}<i>♪ So instead of seeing a yeti
Dressed in reddy ♪</i>

1282
01:02:35,794 --> 01:02:38,005
{\an8}<i>♪ With a big, big belly
And a fuzzy, fuzzy beard ♪</i>

1283
01:02:38,005 --> 01:02:39,756
{\an8}<i>♪ They'd rather see
some old man ♪</i>

1284
01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:41,383
Not just any old man.

1285
01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:42,926
They want to see
the one who's--

1286
01:02:42,926 --> 01:02:47,264
White, uh, fur
can kind of look like a beard.

1287
01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:48,348
Don't you think?

1288
01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:50,434
Hmm. It does.

1289
01:02:50,434 --> 01:02:52,394
And I guess
from far enough away,

1290
01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:55,814
your hands and feet
kind of look like
boots and gloves.

1291
01:02:55,814 --> 01:02:57,524
Exactly!

1292
01:02:57,524 --> 01:03:00,235
I mean, "claws" is right there
in the name, Santa Claus.

1293
01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:01,612
Hello!

1294
01:03:01,612 --> 01:03:04,323
How many humans
do you know named Santa?

1295
01:03:04,323 --> 01:03:07,451
It's actually
an old yeti word.

1296
01:03:07,451 --> 01:03:10,287
It means yeti.

1297
01:03:10,287 --> 01:03:12,456
My real name
is Krisskringel.

1298
01:03:12,456 --> 01:03:13,707
Holy moly!

1299
01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:15,709
You're Santa
and you're a yeti!

1300
01:03:15,709 --> 01:03:17,628
Ho-ho-ho.

1301
01:03:17,628 --> 01:03:19,171
<i>- ♪ Santa Claus is a yeti ♪
- ♪ Mmm-hmm ♪</i>

1302
01:03:19,171 --> 01:03:20,839
<i>♪ Now you know the deal ♪</i>

1303
01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:24,092
<i>♪ But if he's someone else
to you ♪</i>

1304
01:03:24,092 --> 01:03:26,261
<i>♪ Please do what you feel ♪</i>

1305
01:03:26,261 --> 01:03:29,181
<i>♪ If Santa was a penguin ♪</i>

1306
01:03:29,181 --> 01:03:30,807
<i>♪ That would be okay ♪</i>

1307
01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:32,851
<i>♪ Because all
that really matters ♪</i>

1308
01:03:32,851 --> 01:03:34,937
<i>♪ It's not the red, red hat
Or the fuzzy, fuzzy beard ♪</i>

1309
01:03:34,937 --> 01:03:37,397
<i>♪ It's joy
on Christmas Day ♪</i>

1310
01:03:37,397 --> 01:03:39,233
<i>♪ It's respecting
one another ♪</i>

1311
01:03:39,233 --> 01:03:40,984
<i>♪ Like they're your sister
Or your brother ♪</i>

1312
01:03:40,984 --> 01:03:42,611
<i>♪ And spreading cheer
on Christmas Day ♪</i>

1313
01:03:42,611 --> 01:03:43,862
<i>♪ Being good
to everyone you see ♪</i>

1314
01:03:43,862 --> 01:03:45,489
<i>♪ And leaving me cookies ♪</i>

1315
01:03:45,489 --> 01:03:48,325
<i>♪ The true spirit
of the holiday ♪</i>

1316
01:03:49,743 --> 01:03:51,453
By the way,
you got any cookies?

1317
01:03:51,453 --> 01:03:52,663
[Urkel] No.

1318
01:03:52,663 --> 01:03:54,289
Santa, I, uh...

1319
01:03:54,289 --> 01:03:56,291
I may have screwed up
the holidays.

1320
01:03:56,291 --> 01:03:59,586
It's okay.
I have other cookies.

1321
01:03:59,586 --> 01:04:02,256
Now, what brings you
to the North Pole?

1322
01:04:02,256 --> 01:04:03,757
Haven't you seen?

1323
01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:05,759
I messed up everything
back home.

1324
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:08,136
I kind of blew up
the mall, twice.

1325
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:10,889
I built a game-changing,
holiday-ruining app.

1326
01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:13,392
I turned
Department Store Santa
into a meme.

1327
01:04:13,392 --> 01:04:15,936
People are calling him
No Pantsa Claus.

1328
01:04:15,936 --> 01:04:18,522
Sorry, I don't have
Wi-Fi up here,

1329
01:04:18,522 --> 01:04:21,358
but I'd have maybe gone
with Santa Drawers.

1330
01:04:21,358 --> 01:04:24,611
Santa, I was trying so hard
to impress you this year

1331
01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:26,572
that I wrecked everything!

1332
01:04:26,572 --> 01:04:28,657
Why were you trying
to impress me?

1333
01:04:28,657 --> 01:04:30,659
Because you're Santa.

1334
01:04:30,659 --> 01:04:32,244
The Santa Claus.

1335
01:04:32,244 --> 01:04:33,954
You're amazing!

1336
01:04:33,954 --> 01:04:36,331
And you're only going to come
if everything is perfect.

1337
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,834
The lights,
the cheer, even me.

1338
01:04:38,834 --> 01:04:41,461
I built this watch
to make sure I did
everything right

1339
01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:42,838
and bring you to Chicago

1340
01:04:42,838 --> 01:04:44,756
and fulfill everyone's
Christmas wishes.

1341
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:47,384
Hmm.
What do you want this year?

1342
01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:51,138
Some Serbian donkey cheese,
if I remember correctly.

1343
01:04:51,138 --> 01:04:54,516
{\an8}Right now, my wish would be
to fix everything back home.

1344
01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:56,560
And I clearly
haven't earned that.

1345
01:04:56,560 --> 01:05:00,314
Well, between you and me,
I'm not really keeping score

1346
01:05:00,314 --> 01:05:02,149
on whether you've been
naughty or nice.

1347
01:05:02,149 --> 01:05:03,567
What?

1348
01:05:03,567 --> 01:05:05,152
Oh, Steve.

1349
01:05:05,152 --> 01:05:07,863
Take a seat with me
at this piano a moment.

1350
01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:15,370
<i>♪ I'm not keeping score ♪</i>

1351
01:05:18,206 --> 01:05:22,669
<i>♪ That's not what
Christmas is for ♪</i>

1352
01:05:24,755 --> 01:05:29,259
<i>♪ It's not
some holiday test ♪</i>

1353
01:05:31,511 --> 01:05:36,642
<i>♪ To force you
to be your best ♪</i>

1354
01:05:36,642 --> 01:05:38,310
<i>♪ Oh ♪</i>

1355
01:05:38,310 --> 01:05:44,816
<i>♪ If I was watching
your every move ♪</i>

1356
01:05:46,443 --> 01:05:52,032
<i>♪ That could feel
pretty scary ♪</i>

1357
01:05:52,032 --> 01:05:55,702
<i>♪ And the stress
to not screw things up ♪</i>

1358
01:05:55,702 --> 01:06:02,668
<i>♪ Would be a lot
for a kid to carry ♪</i>

1359
01:06:05,212 --> 01:06:08,840
<i>♪ You're still learning
How the world works ♪</i>

1360
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:12,469
<i>♪ So you're bound
to make mistakes ♪</i>

1361
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:15,681
<i>♪ You know
The real test of your mettle ♪</i>

1362
01:06:15,681 --> 01:06:19,059
<i>♪ Is what you do
when something breaks ♪</i>

1363
01:06:19,059 --> 01:06:22,479
<i>♪ It's stepping in
To say I'm sorry ♪</i>

1364
01:06:22,479 --> 01:06:26,274
<i>♪ And then trying
to make amends ♪</i>

1365
01:06:26,274 --> 01:06:29,820
<i>♪ With the person
who your action hurt ♪</i>

1366
01:06:29,820 --> 01:06:35,367
<i>♪ Whether strangers
Family or friends ♪</i>

1367
01:06:35,367 --> 01:06:37,119
<i>♪ Oh ♪</i>

1368
01:06:37,119 --> 01:06:41,581
<i>♪ I'm not keeping score ♪</i>

1369
01:06:43,792 --> 01:06:47,879
<i>♪ That's not
what Christmas is for ♪</i>

1370
01:06:47,879 --> 01:06:50,340
<i>♪ Ooh ♪</i>

1371
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:55,178
<i>♪ It's not some holiday test ♪</i>

1372
01:06:57,264 --> 01:07:03,979
<i>♪ To force you
to be your best ♪</i>

1373
01:07:03,979 --> 01:07:07,232
{\an8}<i>♪ Let's say
you wanted a dirt bike ♪</i>

1374
01:07:07,232 --> 01:07:10,986
{\an8}<i>♪ And you were good
all year long ♪</i>

1375
01:07:10,986 --> 01:07:14,364
{\an8}<i>♪ But it didn't show up
on Christmas ♪</i>

1376
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:17,617
{\an8}<i>♪ Would you think
you did something wrong? ♪</i>

1377
01:07:17,617 --> 01:07:21,204
<i>♪ Would you feel
kind of hurt? ♪</i>

1378
01:07:21,204 --> 01:07:24,708
<i>♪ Would you scream
Oh, what's the point? ♪</i>

1379
01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:27,836
{\an8}<i>♪ And no matter
how we behave ♪</i>

1380
01:07:27,836 --> 01:07:33,341
<i>♪ We don't always get
what we want ♪</i>

1381
01:07:35,802 --> 01:07:42,517
<i>♪ My Christmas wish
Is that kids are good ♪</i>

1382
01:07:42,517 --> 01:07:48,273
<i>♪ Because that's
who they want to be ♪</i>

1383
01:07:49,900 --> 01:07:55,572
{\an8}<i>♪ Not because
They feel pressure ♪</i>

1384
01:07:55,572 --> 01:08:00,118
<i>♪ To try and impress me ♪</i>

1385
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:09,127
<i>♪ Because I'm not
keeping score ♪</i>

1386
01:08:09,586 --> 01:08:14,341
<i>♪ That's not what
Christmas is for ♪</i>

1387
01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:22,724
<i>♪ It's not some
holiday test ♪</i>

1388
01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:28,855
<i>♪ To force you
to be your best ♪</i>

1389
01:08:28,855 --> 01:08:35,862
<i>♪ I'm not keeping ♪</i>

1390
01:08:36,947 --> 01:08:40,575
<i>♪ Score ♪</i>

1391
01:08:40,575 --> 01:08:45,831
<i>♪ I'm not keeping score ♪</i>

1392
01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:51,378
[elf] Cut back on the cookies.

1393
01:08:51,378 --> 01:08:53,547
I do want
to be a good person,

1394
01:08:53,547 --> 01:08:56,091
but I guess I thought I needed
to be even more special

1395
01:08:56,091 --> 01:08:57,926
or Christmas wouldn't come.

1396
01:08:57,926 --> 01:09:00,512
Isn't that why you have
naughty and nice lists?

1397
01:09:00,512 --> 01:09:03,849
I mean, don't all the
Department Store Santas
report back to you?

1398
01:09:03,849 --> 01:09:07,060
Sure, but just to
tell me what things
kids want this year.

1399
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:09,813
I don't want to make
a bunch of wagons
if kids aren't into them.

1400
01:09:09,813 --> 01:09:13,900
The elves hate
when wagons go to waste.

1401
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,528
I still messed up
pretty bad.

1402
01:09:16,528 --> 01:09:19,364
I don't think anyone
will ever forgive me.

1403
01:09:19,364 --> 01:09:22,075
You won't know
unless you try.

1404
01:09:22,075 --> 01:09:23,618
I'm scared to go home.

1405
01:09:23,618 --> 01:09:26,705
What if I
ruin things again?

1406
01:09:26,705 --> 01:09:28,665
Maybe I can stay here,

1407
01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:30,709
officially become
one of your helpers.

1408
01:09:30,709 --> 01:09:32,627
I'm willing to do
whatever it takes.

1409
01:09:33,587 --> 01:09:34,588
[Urkel grunts]

1410
01:09:35,881 --> 01:09:37,465
Oh.

1411
01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:38,550
[Urkel gasps]

1412
01:09:45,307 --> 01:09:46,933
Is there
an application fee?

1413
01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:48,351
Uh, no.

1414
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:50,687
I mean, are you just
going to run away?

1415
01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:52,355
Won't people miss you?

1416
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:54,649
No. They're better off
without me.

1417
01:09:54,649 --> 01:09:56,359
You sure about that?

1418
01:09:56,359 --> 01:10:00,530
Steve, why do you celebrate
every December holiday?

1419
01:10:00,530 --> 01:10:03,366
You're not Jewish,
and yet you help Mr. Kalan

1420
01:10:03,366 --> 01:10:05,493
celebrate Hanukkah
every year.

1421
01:10:05,493 --> 01:10:07,245
And on New Year's Eve,
you're always helping

1422
01:10:07,245 --> 01:10:10,373
the Kochiyama family
clean their house
for Omisoka.

1423
01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:12,208
Because Mr. Kalan's
my friend,

1424
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:15,128
and he shouldn't
have to celebrate
the holidays by himself.

1425
01:10:15,128 --> 01:10:17,130
And the Kochiyama family
matter to me,

1426
01:10:17,130 --> 01:10:19,591
so I just want to know
what's special
and important to them.

1427
01:10:19,591 --> 01:10:21,635
Kid, those are nicer gifts
than anything

1428
01:10:21,635 --> 01:10:23,637
this freakishly
beautiful yeti

1429
01:10:23,637 --> 01:10:25,805
in a red suit
could ever build.

1430
01:10:25,805 --> 01:10:28,141
- You might be a little--
- Eager?

1431
01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:31,394
But as long as you care
about the people around you,

1432
01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:35,106
then you're officially
helping me spread
holiday cheer.

1433
01:10:35,106 --> 01:10:37,150
It's not about how many
lights you put up

1434
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:40,028
or how many cookies
you leave out.

1435
01:10:40,028 --> 01:10:41,821
Although the more
the merrier.

1436
01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:43,657
You're right, Santa.

1437
01:10:43,657 --> 01:10:45,325
And if I really care,

1438
01:10:45,325 --> 01:10:47,953
then I need to go back home
and clean up my mess.

1439
01:10:47,953 --> 01:10:50,205
See, Steve,
you don't need a watch

1440
01:10:50,205 --> 01:10:52,374
to tell you
the right thing to do.

1441
01:10:52,374 --> 01:10:55,961
Dudley's got everybody
fake celebrating the holidays
to win money.

1442
01:10:55,961 --> 01:10:58,546
Maybe I can build
some kind of mind ray.

1443
01:10:58,546 --> 01:11:01,299
Not control,
but maybe just reprogramming.

1444
01:11:01,299 --> 01:11:03,802
And maybe erasing
some of their
short-term memory.

1445
01:11:03,802 --> 01:11:05,428
It shouldn't hurt too much.

1446
01:11:05,428 --> 01:11:08,556
Hmm. But maybe
you could use an assist.

1447
01:11:08,556 --> 01:11:10,225
This holiday season,

1448
01:11:10,225 --> 01:11:13,395
could I be your unofficial
official helper?

1449
01:11:13,395 --> 01:11:15,438
You want to be my helper?

1450
01:11:15,438 --> 01:11:17,482
Santa's my helper?

1451
01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:19,234
Oh, wow!

1452
01:11:19,234 --> 01:11:21,528
Well, I should probably
get you an orientation packet,

1453
01:11:21,528 --> 01:11:23,655
- and there will be
a strict dress code.
- Steve.

1454
01:11:23,655 --> 01:11:26,366
Or how about
just a lift back home
to shut Dudley's app down

1455
01:11:26,366 --> 01:11:28,868
and remind people
to just be good
for goodness sake?

1456
01:11:28,868 --> 01:11:30,328
Oh, you better watch out.

1457
01:11:30,328 --> 01:11:31,955
<i>♪ You better not pout ♪</i>

1458
01:11:31,955 --> 01:11:35,417
No, watch out.
My reindeer are pulling up.

1459
01:11:35,417 --> 01:11:36,876
[Urkel gasps]

1460
01:11:38,837 --> 01:11:40,839
Wanna go fix
the holidays?

1461
01:11:40,839 --> 01:11:41,923
Yes!

1462
01:11:46,511 --> 01:11:48,013
What was that song
you were singing?

1463
01:11:48,013 --> 01:11:50,306
"Santa Claus
Is Coming To Town."

1464
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:52,559
- Who sings it?
- Everybody.

1465
01:11:52,559 --> 01:11:55,645
Have you never heard
any of the Christmas carols
people sing about you?

1466
01:11:55,645 --> 01:11:58,606
[chuckles] No.
I don't have the Internet.

1467
01:11:58,606 --> 01:12:00,775
And I'm not
that self-absorbed.

1468
01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:03,486
Are they good songs?

1469
01:12:03,486 --> 01:12:05,363
What if we change
the value of points

1470
01:12:05,363 --> 01:12:08,658
based on how many people
are using the app
at a certain time?

1471
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:11,077
We'd call it
surge nicing.

1472
01:12:11,077 --> 01:12:12,746
[VDI]
<i>Ethically questionable.</i>

1473
01:12:12,746 --> 01:12:14,914
<i>But business wise,
it will make you richer.</i>

1474
01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:17,792
Perfect.
L-O-L-O-L-O-L.

1475
01:12:17,792 --> 01:12:18,960
[Urkel] Whoa!

1476
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:20,628
Stop! [grunts]

1477
01:12:23,590 --> 01:12:25,925
@steveurkel?
And a Bigfoot?

1478
01:12:25,925 --> 01:12:27,594
Hey, I'm Santa!

1479
01:12:27,594 --> 01:12:30,221
Whoa! Santa's a Bigfoot?

1480
01:12:30,221 --> 01:12:32,223
Explosion emoji, man.

1481
01:12:32,223 --> 01:12:34,184
You just disrupted
my mind right there. Wow.

1482
01:12:34,184 --> 01:12:36,603
Dudley, we've got
to shut the app down.

1483
01:12:36,603 --> 01:12:39,230
We've turned everyone into
a bunch of holiday zombies

1484
01:12:39,230 --> 01:12:41,691
that are only pretending
to be nice to get a reward.

1485
01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:43,860
I know.
I am on the precipice

1486
01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:46,613
of something #epic.

1487
01:12:46,613 --> 01:12:51,576
For a reward,
I'm getting people
to do whatever I want.

1488
01:12:51,576 --> 01:12:53,870
I can make them
be merry if I want.

1489
01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:55,789
But why stop
at the holidays?

1490
01:12:55,789 --> 01:12:57,874
I could also tell them
what to buy,

1491
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:00,877
or how to think
or how to vote.
[chuckles]

1492
01:13:00,877 --> 01:13:03,296
The possibilities
are endless.

1493
01:13:03,296 --> 01:13:04,714
Well, aren't we
supposed to be

1494
01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:06,674
disrupting people's lives
for the better?

1495
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:08,718
Uh, yeah.

1496
01:13:08,718 --> 01:13:10,845
And what's better
than getting everyone
to do what I tell them?

1497
01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:12,347
I'm a genius.

1498
01:13:12,347 --> 01:13:14,099
I'm changing the world.

1499
01:13:14,099 --> 01:13:15,642
I'd be like Santa,

1500
01:13:15,642 --> 01:13:17,811
but year around
and with way better hair.

1501
01:13:17,811 --> 01:13:21,481
Excuse me?
Have you seen these locks?

1502
01:13:21,481 --> 01:13:23,983
What you're doing
is nothing like Santa.

1503
01:13:23,983 --> 01:13:26,277
Oh, please.
Isn't that what Christmas is?

1504
01:13:26,277 --> 01:13:29,489
You just pretend to be nice
to get a dolly or a video game.

1505
01:13:29,489 --> 01:13:32,575
All to please a reclusive,
well-resourced mogul

1506
01:13:32,575 --> 01:13:34,702
who lives
in a hard-to-reach place.

1507
01:13:34,702 --> 01:13:39,457
Say hey with five "Y"s
to your new Santa.

1508
01:13:39,457 --> 01:13:42,418
Oh, no. That's cultural
appropriation, honey.

1509
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:44,087
This is a mistake!

1510
01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,672
I want my tech back.

1511
01:13:45,672 --> 01:13:47,090
Uh, remember when
I sang you a song

1512
01:13:47,090 --> 01:13:48,883
about moving fast
and breaking things?

1513
01:13:48,883 --> 01:13:51,386
Well, I've got another song
I'd like to sing for you.

1514
01:13:51,386 --> 01:13:54,347
It's called "No Backsies."
And a one, a two--

1515
01:13:54,347 --> 01:13:55,640
No!

1516
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,475
If you're not going
to shut it down,

1517
01:13:57,475 --> 01:13:59,936
then I'll have
to shut you down.

1518
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:03,189
You ever see that GIF
where someone's like,
"Come. Get some."

1519
01:14:03,189 --> 01:14:04,732
I'm about to make
one of my own.

1520
01:14:06,860 --> 01:14:08,945
Are you sure
about this, Steve?

1521
01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:11,281
You're a little boy,
he's a grown adult.

1522
01:14:11,281 --> 01:14:12,782
[Urkel screaming]

1523
01:14:12,782 --> 01:14:14,367
That escalated quickly.

1524
01:14:15,451 --> 01:14:17,245
[screaming]

1525
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,081
Huh?

1526
01:14:23,501 --> 01:14:25,211
Well, I did not
see that coming.

1527
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:27,881
[VDI] <i>It's how real Gs
settle their differences.</i>

1528
01:14:27,881 --> 01:14:31,634
<i>When the "G"
stands for genius.</i>

1529
01:14:31,634 --> 01:14:35,722
Seeing as how
you're an uninvited guest
on my yacht air balloon,

1530
01:14:35,722 --> 01:14:38,558
I'll give you the honor
of going first.

1531
01:14:38,558 --> 01:14:39,976
Big mistake.

1532
01:14:42,854 --> 01:14:45,231
People are selfish,
@steveurkel.

1533
01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:49,277
They only want to be nice
to get something.

1534
01:14:49,277 --> 01:14:52,071
- You are wrong, Dudley!
- [Dudley] Whoa!

1535
01:14:53,364 --> 01:14:54,532
[Urkel] Hmm.

1536
01:14:55,491 --> 01:14:56,659
Uh-oh.

1537
01:14:56,659 --> 01:14:59,370
Ah!
[grunts in frustration]

1538
01:15:03,333 --> 01:15:04,709
[Dudley laughing]

1539
01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:06,794
[Dudley] Whoopsie.

1540
01:15:09,589 --> 01:15:11,007
A-ha! [grunts]

1541
01:15:22,352 --> 01:15:24,938
{\an8}I'm just making
some extra money
to get my dad a gift.

1542
01:15:24,938 --> 01:15:26,439
{\an8}This is better
than basketball.

1543
01:15:26,439 --> 01:15:28,733
{\an8}You want me to celebrate
Hanukkah with your robot?

1544
01:15:28,733 --> 01:15:30,193
{\an8}Donkey cheese.

1545
01:15:33,988 --> 01:15:34,989
What?

1546
01:15:37,867 --> 01:15:39,327
- [Urkel] Ah!
- Hey!

1547
01:15:41,246 --> 01:15:42,247
Ho-ho-ho.

1548
01:15:49,462 --> 01:15:52,423
Check and mate.

1549
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,759
[Dudley groaning]

1550
01:15:56,177 --> 01:15:58,179
Skull emoji.

1551
01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:00,932
Oh.

1552
01:16:00,932 --> 01:16:02,809
Did I do that?

1553
01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:04,769
I think I did.

1554
01:16:05,895 --> 01:16:07,522
Yeah! Oh!

1555
01:16:09,649 --> 01:16:11,067
[whinnies]

1556
01:16:18,324 --> 01:16:19,325
[Urkel] Uh-oh.

1557
01:16:20,326 --> 01:16:22,328
[all screaming]

1558
01:16:22,328 --> 01:16:24,080
Oh, no! Please no!

1559
01:16:29,669 --> 01:16:31,296
Well, that doesn't
look good.

1560
01:16:38,594 --> 01:16:40,430
[people screaming]

1561
01:16:54,902 --> 01:16:56,070
Is everyone okay?

1562
01:16:56,070 --> 01:16:57,322
Oh, Santa.

1563
01:16:57,322 --> 01:16:59,824
No, Steve, I'm fine.

1564
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:02,493
Magical being, remember?

1565
01:17:02,493 --> 01:17:05,496
Dudley, I'm sorry
I broke your ship.

1566
01:17:05,496 --> 01:17:07,623
You know, I can work it off
to pay you back.

1567
01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:11,836
All the money I made
from the Von Durffel app
kind of makes us even.

1568
01:17:11,836 --> 01:17:14,255
If you had asked
for even a small cut...

1569
01:17:14,255 --> 01:17:16,716
[laughs] Ow!
...you'd be rich.

1570
01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:18,468
But...

1571
01:17:18,468 --> 01:17:22,096
<i>♪ No backsies
That's what I said. No... ♪</i>

1572
01:17:22,096 --> 01:17:24,057
I forget the rest,
but it's really cool.

1573
01:17:24,057 --> 01:17:26,642
I don't invent things
to get rich.

1574
01:17:26,642 --> 01:17:29,645
I do it to bring happiness
to people.

1575
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:31,272
[Dudley laughing]

1576
01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:33,441
ROTFL.

1577
01:17:33,441 --> 01:17:36,361
Happiness is overrated,
@steveurkel.

1578
01:17:36,361 --> 01:17:39,072
People have already
had a taste of the future,

1579
01:17:39,072 --> 01:17:41,032
and they're not going back.

1580
01:17:41,032 --> 01:17:43,743
This is the future, okay?

1581
01:17:43,743 --> 01:17:45,453
Embrace it.

1582
01:17:45,453 --> 01:17:47,789
Your old ideas
about being nice

1583
01:17:47,789 --> 01:17:50,416
have been disrupted
by something better,

1584
01:17:50,416 --> 01:17:52,418
by someone better.

1585
01:17:52,418 --> 01:17:54,754
By me! [chuckles]

1586
01:17:56,923 --> 01:17:59,133
What's going on?
Did the app crash?

1587
01:17:59,133 --> 01:18:01,177
Will these points count?
I need my points!

1588
01:18:02,220 --> 01:18:04,055
Points!

1589
01:18:04,055 --> 01:18:06,140
I can't finish
these decorations
if I don't have my points.

1590
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:08,101
Mrs. P, stop!

1591
01:18:08,101 --> 01:18:11,270
You don't need to hang
Mr. Kalan's lights
for points.

1592
01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:12,355
Yes, I do!

1593
01:18:12,355 --> 01:18:14,399
Why else would I do this?

1594
01:18:14,399 --> 01:18:16,484
Because he's your neighbor.

1595
01:18:16,484 --> 01:18:19,070
And even though
you two argue sometimes,

1596
01:18:19,070 --> 01:18:23,074
you worry about him
climbing on a ladder
because he's so old.

1597
01:18:23,074 --> 01:18:24,700
Hey, words hurt!

1598
01:18:24,700 --> 01:18:29,330
That's not winning you
any holiday cheer points.

1599
01:18:29,330 --> 01:18:31,958
Being nice
isn't a game to win.

1600
01:18:31,958 --> 01:18:33,626
I see that now.

1601
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:36,546
The holidays aren't something
we do for points.

1602
01:18:36,546 --> 01:18:38,714
[all] Points.

1603
01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:42,343
We celebrate the holidays
because it's an excuse
to check in on someone

1604
01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:43,636
when they have a bad day

1605
01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:45,888
and offer
to take him caroling.

1606
01:18:45,888 --> 01:18:48,182
Being with a friend
to celebrate Hanukkah

1607
01:18:48,182 --> 01:18:50,726
because you enjoy
each other's company.

1608
01:18:50,726 --> 01:18:53,813
It's not a bunch
of empty gestures
to win a prize.

1609
01:18:53,813 --> 01:18:55,940
[all] Points?

1610
01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:58,776
<i>It's celebrating each day
like a holiday.</i>

1611
01:18:58,776 --> 01:19:01,612
Because the people
around us are gifts.

1612
01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:03,239
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

1613
01:19:03,239 --> 01:19:04,907
How is he broadcasting
from the Von Durffel game?

1614
01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:07,577
Magical being, honey.
Boop!

1615
01:19:07,577 --> 01:19:10,079
[Urkel] It's not about
proving how good we are,

1616
01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:12,665
but recognizing
how lucky we are.

1617
01:19:12,665 --> 01:19:14,542
Presents and treats
are great,

1618
01:19:14,542 --> 01:19:16,169
but the holidays
are a reminder

1619
01:19:16,169 --> 01:19:18,504
of how important we are
to one another.

1620
01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:21,007
Wow, you're still corny.

1621
01:19:21,007 --> 01:19:22,675
[Robin and Urkel
mimicking munching]

1622
01:19:22,675 --> 01:19:24,469
[Robin and Urkel laughing]

1623
01:19:24,469 --> 01:19:28,014
The nicest thing you can do
is to celebrate each other.

1624
01:19:28,014 --> 01:19:30,308
That's why I love
December so much.

1625
01:19:30,308 --> 01:19:31,601
Holiday boy!

1626
01:19:31,601 --> 01:19:33,978
Were you
about to sing?

1627
01:19:33,978 --> 01:19:35,354
Uh, yes.

1628
01:19:35,354 --> 01:19:38,191
Well, not without me!

1629
01:19:38,191 --> 01:19:39,484
<i>♪ Driving a bus ♪</i>

1630
01:19:41,777 --> 01:19:45,239
<i>♪ Is a hard job ♪</i>

1631
01:19:45,239 --> 01:19:51,162
<i>♪ Where I often feel alone ♪</i>

1632
01:19:52,955 --> 01:19:58,836
<i>♪ Truth is
You lift my spirits ♪</i>

1633
01:19:58,836 --> 01:20:03,424
<i>♪ I just wish
You were a baritone ♪</i>

1634
01:20:05,259 --> 01:20:07,345
<i>♪ I love December ♪</i>

1635
01:20:07,345 --> 01:20:09,889
<i>♪ It's a great time
of the year ♪</i>

1636
01:20:09,889 --> 01:20:11,974
<i>♪ From the first
to the 31st ♪</i>

1637
01:20:11,974 --> 01:20:15,102
<i>♪ Let's celebrate
all the good cheer ♪</i>

1638
01:20:15,102 --> 01:20:17,605
<i>♪ We may celebrate
different holidays ♪</i>

1639
01:20:17,605 --> 01:20:20,066
<i>♪ But December
brings us all together ♪</i>

1640
01:20:20,066 --> 01:20:23,027
<i>♪ With the shared love
of our traditions ♪</i>

1641
01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:25,530
<i>♪ And a hatred
for cold weather ♪</i>

1642
01:20:25,530 --> 01:20:27,782
<i>♪ We love going
block to block ♪</i>

1643
01:20:27,782 --> 01:20:30,535
<i>♪ To see
the neighborhood lights ♪</i>

1644
01:20:30,535 --> 01:20:33,037
<i>♪ And caroling door to door ♪</i>

1645
01:20:33,037 --> 01:20:36,249
<i>♪ As long as we've got
the music rights ♪</i>

1646
01:20:36,249 --> 01:20:38,125
Oh, he gets to sing?

1647
01:20:38,125 --> 01:20:39,669
No, thank you.

1648
01:20:39,669 --> 01:20:42,713
If I don't get to sing,
nobody gets to sing.

1649
01:20:42,713 --> 01:20:44,340
<i>♪ No backsies ♪</i>

1650
01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:46,217
[VDI] <i>Sir, you appear
to have a problem.</i>

1651
01:20:46,217 --> 01:20:47,260
Am I off key?

1652
01:20:47,260 --> 01:20:49,053
[VDI]
<i>Enormously so.</i>

1653
01:20:49,053 --> 01:20:50,721
<i>But in your rush to get
the Von Durffel game online,</i>

1654
01:20:50,721 --> 01:20:52,348
<i>you moved a little too fast.</i>

1655
01:20:52,348 --> 01:20:54,100
Ugh. What did I break?

1656
01:20:54,100 --> 01:20:56,018
[VDI] <i>The company.</i>

1657
01:20:56,018 --> 01:20:57,436
<i>The shareholders are meeting
right now to vote you out.</i>

1658
01:20:57,436 --> 01:20:59,689
[exclaims] No,
they can't do that.

1659
01:20:59,689 --> 01:21:01,816
[VDI] <i>If you had read
the user agreement
of your contract,</i>

1660
01:21:01,816 --> 01:21:03,401
<i>you'd see
they very much can.</i>

1661
01:21:03,401 --> 01:21:07,113
No one ever reads those!
Come on!

1662
01:21:07,113 --> 01:21:12,201
<i>♪ A Department Store Santa
Is more than just a shift ♪</i>

1663
01:21:12,201 --> 01:21:14,787
<i>♪ It's seeing the joy
on someone's face ♪</i>

1664
01:21:14,787 --> 01:21:20,167
<i>♪ When they find
that perfect gift ♪</i>

1665
01:21:20,167 --> 01:21:26,465
[Robin's dad]
<i>♪ I never thought
I was a helmet guy ♪</i>

1666
01:21:26,465 --> 01:21:32,305
<i>♪ But I look amazin' ♪</i>

1667
01:21:32,305 --> 01:21:34,390
<i>♪ And you must be impressed ♪</i>

1668
01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:38,936
<i>♪ Your old man
Sounds like T-Pazin ♪</i>

1669
01:21:38,936 --> 01:21:41,522
It's T-Pain, Dad.

1670
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:43,065
Who is T-Pazin?

1671
01:21:43,065 --> 01:21:45,484
[speaking Spanish]

1672
01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:50,114
<i>♪ Celebrating Hanukkah
You help honor my history ♪</i>

1673
01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:52,908
<i>♪ And the principles
of Kwanzaa ♪</i>

1674
01:21:52,908 --> 01:21:55,369
<i>♪ Empower community ♪</i>

1675
01:21:55,369 --> 01:21:57,997
<i>♪ The solstice
is the time we reflect ♪</i>

1676
01:21:57,997 --> 01:22:00,750
<i>♪ While we look forward ♪</i>

1677
01:22:00,750 --> 01:22:03,169
<i>♪ Festivus is from
a TV show ♪</i>

1678
01:22:03,169 --> 01:22:05,046
<i>♪ Does that make it awkward? ♪</i>

1679
01:22:05,046 --> 01:22:08,257
<i>♪ Not as long as
You love December ♪</i>

1680
01:22:08,257 --> 01:22:10,426
<i>♪ And respect
that I do, too ♪</i>

1681
01:22:10,426 --> 01:22:12,637
<i>♪ It's not just about
a Christmas tree ♪</i>

1682
01:22:12,637 --> 01:22:13,929
<i>♪ This month's about... ♪</i>

1683
01:22:13,929 --> 01:22:17,683
I told you, kiddo.
You're a gift.

1684
01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:19,518
Thanks, Santa.

1685
01:22:19,518 --> 01:22:21,854
- [Santa] Hmm.
- [Urkel] Aw.

1686
01:22:21,854 --> 01:22:26,275
<i>♪ ...Thirty-first ♪</i>

1687
01:22:26,275 --> 01:22:28,569
<i>♪ Let's celebrate
All the good cheer ♪</i>

1688
01:22:31,906 --> 01:22:33,991
The block looks amazing.

1689
01:22:33,991 --> 01:22:35,743
Is that house
decorated for Soyal?

1690
01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:37,953
Wow!

1691
01:22:37,953 --> 01:22:39,955
And there's one
for Kwanzaa.

1692
01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,874
This is really great.

1693
01:22:41,874 --> 01:22:45,378
It's not complete
until you decorate
your house.

1694
01:22:45,378 --> 01:22:49,548
It looks like now
the whole block
is waiting on you.

1695
01:22:49,548 --> 01:22:52,009
Oh, Mrs. Paxson,
you silly goose.

1696
01:22:52,009 --> 01:22:53,886
I decorated last March.

1697
01:22:53,886 --> 01:22:56,514
I was just waiting
on everybody else.

1698
01:23:07,191 --> 01:23:09,860
I'm really excited
about my light display
this year.

1699
01:23:09,860 --> 01:23:12,071
I hooked it up
to a solar battery

1700
01:23:12,071 --> 01:23:14,740
so you don't have to worry
about blowing out the power
to the street.

1701
01:23:14,740 --> 01:23:16,033
Unlike last year.

1702
01:23:25,918 --> 01:23:27,545
Did I do that?

1703
01:23:32,466 --> 01:23:33,509
[alarm beeping]

1704
01:23:37,054 --> 01:23:38,556
[gasps]

1705
01:23:38,556 --> 01:23:39,640
[donkey brays]

1706
01:23:40,808 --> 01:23:42,226
Donkey cheese!

1707
01:24:14,383 --> 01:24:15,551
[inaudible]

1708
01:25:41,804 --> 01:25:43,389
[inaudible]

1709
01:25:56,318 --> 01:25:58,279
[inaudible]