1 00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,529 When a polar bear gives birth, 2 00:00:27,562 --> 00:00:30,197 she typically has two cubs. 3 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,332 To keep them safe from the dangers of the world, 4 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,468 she'll stay with them, in the den, 5 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,137 until they can survive on their own. 6 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,139 It's a sacrifice she makes. 7 00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:41,676 Because if something were to happen to her, 8 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,612 then her cubs would surely die. 9 00:00:44,646 --> 00:00:48,382 But if something were to happen to her cubs, 10 00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,784 what would become of the mother? 11 00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:52,219 Could she live with it? 12 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,187 Ah! I can't! I can't! 13 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,857 - Almost there! - I can't! 14 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,457 - I can see the head. - I can't! 15 00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,159 I love you, okay? We're a team-- 16 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,295 You can do it, baby. Come on! 17 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,396 That's it! 18 00:01:21,716 --> 00:01:23,685 [distorted noises 19 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,604 Elizabeth Aaron Bolland, 20 00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:53,875 born at 6:36 p.m., two weeks ahead of schedule. 21 00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:56,711 Six pounds, eight ounces. 22 00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:01,348 That doesn't sound like much, but to me, it's everything. 23 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:04,919 And now you're my whole world. 24 00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,487 I would do anything to protect you. 25 00:03:08,523 --> 00:03:10,658 My perfect baby girl. 26 00:03:10,692 --> 00:03:13,861 I'm gonna be the kind of mother for you that I never had. 27 00:03:13,895 --> 00:03:16,831 You're going to have a great childhood. 28 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:20,702 You have two parents who love you very much. 29 00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:24,939 When I met your father, it was love at first sight. 30 00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,742 A year later, we had the perfect wedding, 31 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,311 and found the perfect house, 32 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:34,816 in the perfect neighborhood, in the perfect town. 33 00:03:35,817 --> 00:03:38,920 And now we have you. 34 00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:43,323 I just didn't know how exhausted I would be. 35 00:03:58,606 --> 00:03:59,674 You did it. 36 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:01,843 Sit down. 37 00:04:02,043 --> 00:04:03,044 I'm gonna get you some water, okay? 38 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,946 Actually, I just... 39 00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:06,881 think I'm gonna go lay down upstairs. 40 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,616 Of course. Whatever you want. 41 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,853 -I'm sorry. -Mm-mm. Don't be. 42 00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:14,387 You go rest. Okay? I'll take care of everything. 43 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,625 You go on. I'll be right up. 44 00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:19,660 - Mm-hmm. - Okay? 45 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,564 - I love you. - I love you, too. 46 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:56,429 All I wanna do is sleep. 47 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,567 Life used to be brunches and selfies on the beach. 48 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,004 I just need to find a new normal. 49 00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:05,472 A new perfect. 50 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,041 Right after I get some sleep. 51 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,557 I don't know how people can do this every two hours. 52 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,725 Bill? 53 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,828 I guess I'm lucky that I don't have to do it alone. 54 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,835 While I spent the last eight and a half months 55 00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:36,571 suffering from mood swings, bizarre cravings, 56 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,806 and constant discomfort, 57 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,775 Bill was nothing but attentive. 58 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,845 I guess he's earned a break. 59 00:05:43,878 --> 00:05:46,080 From what I hear, we won't get another one 60 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,516 until our kid grows up and moves out. 61 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,806 I haven't taken my medicine for a year, 62 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,908 so now I can get 63 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,777 a little obsessive about things. 64 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:19,680 I mean, who doesn't, right? 65 00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:22,049 Who doesn't? 66 00:06:22,083 --> 00:06:24,619 Sometimes it's the little things. 67 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,020 You gotta be shitting me. 68 00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,025 I check the locks. 69 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,094 Sometimes a lot. 70 00:06:33,127 --> 00:06:36,697 And I'm sure to close every single door in the house. 71 00:06:36,731 --> 00:06:39,200 Setting the TV volume to an even number, 72 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:42,970 or rearranging ornaments and place settings. 73 00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,906 God, don't get me started on making sure 74 00:06:44,939 --> 00:06:46,674 all the photos in the house are level. 75 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:52,213 But sometimes it's a little more than that. 76 00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,916 Sometimes I get this irrational fear 77 00:06:54,949 --> 00:06:56,017 that someone is watching me. 78 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,654 Or stalking me. 79 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,489 I know it's an irrational fear, but... 80 00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,993 doesn't stop me from checking everything. 81 00:07:06,027 --> 00:07:09,163 I don't know what an extreme case would look like for me, 82 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,498 but God, I hope I never find out. 83 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:13,868 I haven't taken my medicine. 84 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,766 It's only when I know that everything's perfect 85 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,168 that I can finally be calm. 86 00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:51,471 But when is anything ever perfect? 87 00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:54,241 Doesn't stop me from trying, though. 88 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,561 Everyone told me that having a child 89 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,895 would change my life forever. 90 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:17,965 I guess I didn't realize 91 00:08:17,999 --> 00:08:19,166 how much Elizabeth would change mine. 92 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,262 Oh... 93 00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:31,799 I just woke up 94 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:34,068 from the worst nightmare I've ever had. 95 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,237 God, it felt so real. 96 00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:39,006 I could hear her crying, but something wasn't right. 97 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,375 I didn't feel connected to her at all. 98 00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:46,413 But I can't think about that now. 99 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,049 Back to real life. 100 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,186 My cub needs her mother. 101 00:10:53,254 --> 00:10:54,288 What? 102 00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:58,259 Nothing. It's just, we did it. 103 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:00,895 We have a baby. 104 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,874 So, uh, did you get some sleep last night? 105 00:11:13,908 --> 00:11:16,110 I slept like a baby. 106 00:11:16,477 --> 00:11:18,812 As in up every two hours, 107 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,416 crabby, kinda wanting my mommy. 108 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,719 I feel like I just woke up after a college bender. 109 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:30,724 Mm... 110 00:11:31,526 --> 00:11:34,361 So, uh, start your meds yet? 111 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,965 Uh, not yet. 112 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,702 I just, um-- I'm not sure, after last time. 113 00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,971 Well, the new pills should be okay, 114 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,472 it's the, uh, blue ones. 115 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,810 They're in my purse. I keep forgetting I have 'em. 116 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,980 Those ones are a little different. 117 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,182 They should kick in-- in about ten to 15 minutes. 118 00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,920 You know, I, uh-- 119 00:11:59,954 --> 00:12:01,956 I can withdraw from this conference. 120 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,057 Bill, no. 121 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:04,925 This conference is too important. 122 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,162 If I need anything, I'll call Cici. 123 00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:10,798 Okay? We're good here. 124 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,967 So you are going. 125 00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:14,502 You sure? 126 00:12:16,504 --> 00:12:17,771 Yeah. 127 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:20,941 It's only a week. 128 00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:23,777 We won't even... 129 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,113 notice you're gone. 130 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:28,282 Plus I, um... 131 00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:30,518 I was thinking about 132 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,886 doing some painting this weekend. 133 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,988 Yeah? 134 00:12:34,388 --> 00:12:35,889 Hmm. You inspired? 135 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,027 -I have some ideas. -Hmm. 136 00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:44,164 You, uh, been checking the locks again. 137 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,434 Sometimes. 138 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,803 Heard you counting, too, Adalynn. 139 00:12:50,304 --> 00:12:52,507 Bill, I'm perfect. 140 00:12:54,108 --> 00:12:56,877 Okay, but if you need anything, 141 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:59,246 anything at all, you call me or Cici. 142 00:13:00,014 --> 00:13:02,149 -Or heaven forbid your mother. -Mm. 143 00:13:02,717 --> 00:13:05,886 - Things will never be that bad. - Thank God. 144 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,790 Um, is that the new crib? 145 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:13,060 No, it's no-- hasn't arrived yet, 146 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,461 it's on back order. 147 00:13:14,495 --> 00:13:17,197 So I pulled the old one outta storage. 148 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,475 Oh, shit! 149 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,944 Babe, I meant to take that off. 150 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:34,815 I'm sorry. 151 00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:41,523 Babe, I'm sorry about earlier with the crib 152 00:13:41,556 --> 00:13:43,357 and you going into labor, it's... 153 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:47,294 Just-- just slipped my mind, like an idiot. 154 00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:50,497 It's fine. 155 00:13:50,532 --> 00:13:51,865 You just caused a little freak-out. 156 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,168 But I got through it. 157 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,871 Do you want to talk about it? 158 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,977 -Adalynn? Adalynn? -Huh? 159 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,347 Oh, um... 160 00:14:08,082 --> 00:14:09,149 I'm okay. 161 00:14:11,485 --> 00:14:13,454 Spent a little quality time with the stress ball earlier, 162 00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:15,322 so I'm okay. 163 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,358 Really. 164 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,562 Do you wanna talk about it? 165 00:14:23,698 --> 00:14:24,965 That's my ride. 166 00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:26,601 Okay. 167 00:14:27,669 --> 00:14:28,969 -Love you. -Love you. 168 00:14:29,637 --> 00:14:30,904 Bill. 169 00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:35,008 Don't you wanna give your newborn daughter 170 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,343 - a kiss goodbye? - Of course. 171 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,079 Bye. 172 00:14:39,547 --> 00:14:40,648 Hey. 173 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:43,518 What's wrong? 174 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,555 I don't wanna leave you alone. 175 00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:51,291 I know. 176 00:14:52,393 --> 00:14:55,062 But Elizabeth and I will be okay. 177 00:14:57,231 --> 00:14:58,298 Have a safe trip. 178 00:14:59,634 --> 00:15:00,901 -Bye. -Bye. 179 00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:19,554 And here come the waterworks. 180 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,658 "Baby blues" is what they call it. 181 00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:26,160 Add that to my list of problems. 182 00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,530 I just hope this is the worst of it 183 00:15:28,563 --> 00:15:29,697 and it passes soon. 184 00:15:39,173 --> 00:15:41,643 Hello? 185 00:16:06,768 --> 00:16:08,368 What do... 186 00:16:18,746 --> 00:16:20,347 - Hello? - Hey, 187 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,683 I've been calling you, girl. 188 00:16:22,483 --> 00:16:23,551 I know. 189 00:16:23,952 --> 00:16:27,087 I'm sorry, I'm just still... 190 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:31,291 -adjusting. -I forgive you. 191 00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:32,727 And I'm so sorry I didn't make it back 192 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,529 in time to be there. 193 00:16:34,562 --> 00:16:35,663 You were supposed to wait 'til I got back. 194 00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:40,568 -Hey, how was it? -Childbirth? 195 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,571 About like I expected. 196 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,475 Only 100 times more painful. 197 00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:50,645 Hey. 198 00:16:50,678 --> 00:16:54,147 You know, my hormones were really outta control, remember? 199 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:56,818 And I could not have gotten through that without you. 200 00:16:56,851 --> 00:16:58,252 And I'm here for you, too. 201 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:05,593 -Thank you. -Okay. 202 00:17:05,627 --> 00:17:08,362 Well, sweetie, what are you doing today? 203 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:09,831 I was thinking that we could get takeout 204 00:17:09,864 --> 00:17:11,833 from Croso's and catch up. 205 00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:13,801 I'm dying to meet the baby. 206 00:17:13,835 --> 00:17:15,537 Oh, um, 207 00:17:15,570 --> 00:17:18,105 we're not really up for visitors just yet. 208 00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:23,611 -You sure you're okay? -Yeah. 209 00:17:23,645 --> 00:17:26,814 I'm fine. Uh, everything's perfect. 210 00:17:26,848 --> 00:17:29,651 Well, i-- if you're not, there's no shame in it. 211 00:17:29,684 --> 00:17:33,320 I mean, nobody's really perfect, you know? 212 00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:36,456 We'll be fine. 213 00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:40,427 As long as we can survive until Bill gets home, 214 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,865 -everything will be perfect. -Survive? 215 00:17:43,898 --> 00:17:45,667 Hey, Adalynn, what do you mean? 216 00:17:47,569 --> 00:17:48,770 I have to go pump now, Cici. 217 00:17:49,771 --> 00:17:50,838 Thank you for calling. 218 00:18:16,531 --> 00:18:19,299 "Nobody's really perfect, you know?" 219 00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:21,401 Who does she think she is? 220 00:18:40,922 --> 00:18:42,189 Ow. 221 00:19:10,918 --> 00:19:14,421 I am aching for a nap. 222 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:17,391 That sure would be easier with Bill around. 223 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:20,494 But his career is riding on this conference. 224 00:19:24,632 --> 00:19:26,868 It's not his fault Elizabeth came early. 225 00:19:32,807 --> 00:19:34,642 Oh, Bill, what did you do? 226 00:19:34,676 --> 00:19:35,910 Bill told me he'd ordered some things 227 00:19:35,943 --> 00:19:37,745 for the baby, 228 00:19:37,779 --> 00:19:39,814 but he didn't tell me he went overboard. 229 00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:42,684 My sweet husband told me to put all the packages aside 230 00:19:42,717 --> 00:19:44,585 and that he'd deal with them when he gets home. 231 00:19:57,031 --> 00:19:59,600 I am so tired 232 00:19:59,634 --> 00:20:02,335 and this baby won't shut up! 233 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:06,339 God, shut up. 234 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,976 Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! 235 00:20:36,871 --> 00:20:39,807 I could use something to take the edge off. 236 00:20:39,841 --> 00:20:42,476 A glass of wine, maybe two. 237 00:20:42,510 --> 00:20:44,612 Hell, why not the whole fucking bottle? 238 00:20:45,747 --> 00:20:47,515 But I won't. 239 00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:50,551 I won't contaminate my milk. 240 00:20:50,585 --> 00:20:52,553 No meds and no wine. 241 00:21:40,535 --> 00:21:43,370 I guess I just need to find other ways to relax 242 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:44,906 and feel like my old self. 243 00:21:44,939 --> 00:21:47,440 However briefly. 244 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,409 I still have painting, I suppose. 245 00:22:14,902 --> 00:22:17,605 As obsessed as I can be with even numbers, 246 00:22:17,638 --> 00:22:20,473 locked doors, and symmetrical designs, 247 00:22:20,508 --> 00:22:22,677 painting is the only outlet I have 248 00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:24,512 to break all my own rules. 249 00:22:30,518 --> 00:22:32,485 I can be free 250 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,856 and express myself in ways that I can't otherwise. 251 00:22:34,889 --> 00:22:35,990 Not even while journaling. 252 00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:38,993 It's my true therapy. 253 00:22:52,940 --> 00:22:56,510 I can create a world where things can be perfect, 254 00:22:56,544 --> 00:22:58,478 just as they should be. 255 00:22:58,512 --> 00:23:00,915 Perfection may be out of reach in my daily life, 256 00:23:00,948 --> 00:23:02,984 but not for my subjects. 257 00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:08,155 It scares me sometimes 258 00:23:08,189 --> 00:23:10,157 how easily I can get lost in my own fantasy. 259 00:23:11,592 --> 00:23:13,460 I get so lost sometimes 260 00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:15,630 that I fear I'll never find my way back. 261 00:23:16,764 --> 00:23:17,832 Sometimes. 262 00:25:32,133 --> 00:25:34,935 It's fine, Adalynn. It's just in your head. 263 00:25:36,804 --> 00:25:41,208 It's just you. Nobody's here. Nobody's here. 264 00:26:25,786 --> 00:26:27,788 God, none of this feels normal. 265 00:26:28,989 --> 00:26:30,191 Why aren't we bonding? 266 00:26:32,193 --> 00:26:34,829 What's wrong with you, Adalynn? 267 00:26:34,862 --> 00:26:37,631 She's just a baby. 268 00:26:37,665 --> 00:26:41,102 Come on, you can do it. Just fall asleep, Elizabeth. 269 00:26:42,870 --> 00:26:44,738 I can't take any more crying. 270 00:26:44,772 --> 00:26:47,708 It's been over an hour now. 271 00:26:47,741 --> 00:26:50,177 Please, just go to bed for Mama. 272 00:26:50,211 --> 00:26:52,279 Just go to bed. 273 00:26:52,313 --> 00:26:56,083 I wonder if other new mothers feel like this. 274 00:26:56,117 --> 00:26:59,720 I just can't take the screaming anymore. 275 00:27:04,692 --> 00:27:07,862 Please, please tell me this is gonna end one day. 276 00:27:07,895 --> 00:27:09,663 It can't always be like this. 277 00:27:11,265 --> 00:27:13,134 How's my little angel? 278 00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:16,337 Fussy as hell, so is the baby. 279 00:27:16,370 --> 00:27:17,638 How's the conference? 280 00:27:18,507 --> 00:27:19,974 It's a little overwhelming, to be honest. 281 00:27:20,542 --> 00:27:23,744 I never have an issue speaking in front of large crowds. 282 00:27:24,513 --> 00:27:27,281 I mean, even I get, you know, stage fright sometimes. 283 00:27:27,314 --> 00:27:30,117 Apparently so. 284 00:27:30,151 --> 00:27:32,219 So, uh, you doing okay? 285 00:27:33,154 --> 00:27:34,355 Yes, Bill, I'm fine. 286 00:27:34,388 --> 00:27:35,656 I'm a tough... 287 00:27:37,391 --> 00:27:39,660 -girl. -I know you are. 288 00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:43,430 Oh, you know, uh-- you won't believe this. 289 00:27:43,464 --> 00:27:44,765 Walter Fishman is 290 00:27:44,798 --> 00:27:46,167 finally retiring. 291 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,002 - What? Why now? - Yeah. 292 00:27:48,035 --> 00:27:49,803 I mean, he's only 100. 293 00:27:49,837 --> 00:27:52,339 He's probably got what, 50 more good years in him? 294 00:27:52,373 --> 00:27:54,808 He's 75, Adalynn. Can you imagine? 295 00:27:54,842 --> 00:27:57,411 Don't you ever let me go that long, you promise? 296 00:27:57,444 --> 00:27:59,847 I promise. 70 tops. 297 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:03,050 Ugh, that's the doorbell. 298 00:28:03,083 --> 00:28:04,752 Probably more of your impulse buys. 299 00:28:04,785 --> 00:28:06,320 Probably. 300 00:28:06,353 --> 00:28:07,755 Listen, when the pack and play comes, 301 00:28:07,788 --> 00:28:09,223 just let it-- set it aside. 302 00:28:09,256 --> 00:28:10,925 I'll handle it when I get home. All right? 303 00:28:10,958 --> 00:28:12,726 We'll see, I have a list of other things 304 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,195 for you to do first. 305 00:28:14,228 --> 00:28:15,095 - I love you. - I love you. 306 00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:10,985 Shh! Shh! 307 00:29:11,885 --> 00:29:12,987 Shh. 308 00:29:18,492 --> 00:29:19,760 Oh, my God. 309 00:30:07,374 --> 00:30:09,143 One, two, three, four, five, six... 310 00:30:42,109 --> 00:30:44,411 Sometimes nothing works. 311 00:30:54,355 --> 00:30:55,989 And when the pain doesn't go away, 312 00:30:56,990 --> 00:30:58,192 I feel helpless. 313 00:31:00,961 --> 00:31:03,497 Like I'm all out of options. 314 00:31:11,606 --> 00:31:15,677 Meanwhile, it's more than just my brain. 315 00:31:15,710 --> 00:31:19,046 The headaches are back and something else seems off. 316 00:31:20,180 --> 00:31:22,383 This really is a lot for me. 317 00:31:22,416 --> 00:31:25,152 I feel like I'm heading into a downward spiral. 318 00:31:25,185 --> 00:31:27,689 Meanwhile, Bill's probably rubbing elbows with millionaires 319 00:31:27,722 --> 00:31:29,289 over champagne and caviar. 320 00:31:31,225 --> 00:31:34,995 Okay, that's not fair. He did offer to stay. 321 00:31:35,996 --> 00:31:37,599 He really wanted to. 322 00:31:37,632 --> 00:31:40,033 I could see it in his eyes when he left. 323 00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:43,638 His concern. And sadness, perhaps. 324 00:31:45,239 --> 00:31:47,509 Maybe that's why I pushed him to go. 325 00:31:47,542 --> 00:31:51,178 Maybe I needed to prove to him that I could handle this. 326 00:31:51,211 --> 00:31:52,714 Maybe I needed to prove to myself 327 00:31:52,747 --> 00:31:54,081 that I could handle this. 328 00:31:55,082 --> 00:31:58,051 "'Anything could be in there,' said the playful puffin. 329 00:31:58,085 --> 00:32:01,054 'It could be a slippery fish, or a wisecracking walrus, 330 00:32:01,088 --> 00:32:03,123 or even a water-wading whale.' 331 00:32:05,292 --> 00:32:07,227 The happy little harp seal 332 00:32:07,261 --> 00:32:09,597 pulled himself closer to the ice for a better look. 333 00:32:10,230 --> 00:32:12,966 'If I could use a last wish for anything, 334 00:32:13,668 --> 00:32:15,335 anything in the world,' said the pup. 335 00:32:15,870 --> 00:32:17,672 'I know exactly who I would wish to--'" 336 00:32:32,085 --> 00:32:33,153 Come on. 337 00:32:33,655 --> 00:32:35,155 Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. 338 00:32:35,623 --> 00:32:36,691 Come on. 339 00:32:40,528 --> 00:32:42,196 Breathe. Come on. 340 00:33:09,591 --> 00:33:11,526 Now, try to relax. 341 00:33:23,070 --> 00:33:27,374 A little higher than normal, but nothing too bad. 342 00:33:29,309 --> 00:33:31,111 Is this really necessary? 343 00:33:31,144 --> 00:33:32,547 I-- I only called about the baby. 344 00:33:33,213 --> 00:33:36,049 This is true. But the baby's fine. 345 00:33:36,684 --> 00:33:39,386 And true fact, the well-being of a baby 346 00:33:39,419 --> 00:33:41,523 often depends on the well-being of its mother. 347 00:33:41,890 --> 00:33:43,525 Right, but are you sure, though? 348 00:33:43,558 --> 00:33:44,592 About the choking? 349 00:33:45,092 --> 00:33:46,761 Oh, yes. It's very common. 350 00:33:46,794 --> 00:33:50,230 Um, infants are born with a hyper gag reflex. 351 00:33:50,565 --> 00:33:53,768 Um, when it happens, just let it pass. 352 00:33:53,801 --> 00:33:56,203 Um, adjust the baby's position, 353 00:33:56,604 --> 00:33:59,072 maybe your own, and resume feeding. 354 00:33:59,439 --> 00:34:02,309 Yeah, I-- I knew that, I just, um... 355 00:34:03,511 --> 00:34:04,612 I just forgot. 356 00:34:05,345 --> 00:34:06,413 Uh... 357 00:34:08,750 --> 00:34:10,818 It just-- it all happened so fast, 358 00:34:10,852 --> 00:34:13,153 you know, like, in that instant, it all-- 359 00:34:13,186 --> 00:34:14,254 it all could've just-- 360 00:34:16,591 --> 00:34:18,560 I'm sorry, you probably think I'm crazy. 361 00:34:19,293 --> 00:34:21,663 I could tell you stories about what lengths 362 00:34:21,696 --> 00:34:24,097 I've seen mothers go to to protect their young. 363 00:34:25,299 --> 00:34:26,568 It happens in nature, you know. 364 00:34:27,134 --> 00:34:30,805 Um, polar bears, for example. 365 00:34:32,306 --> 00:34:34,207 The moms usually have two cubs 366 00:34:34,241 --> 00:34:36,343 and they'd sacrifice anything to keep 'em alive. 367 00:34:39,179 --> 00:34:41,516 So, how are you feeling? 368 00:34:41,549 --> 00:34:43,483 Are-- are you getting enough sleep? 369 00:34:44,117 --> 00:34:46,854 - I mean, does any parent? - Touché. 370 00:34:49,256 --> 00:34:52,727 Are you eating, exercising, meditating? 371 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,096 Uh, I did start writing in my journal again. 372 00:34:56,463 --> 00:34:57,799 It helps. 373 00:34:57,832 --> 00:34:58,900 I think. 374 00:34:58,933 --> 00:35:00,602 Good, good. 375 00:35:00,635 --> 00:35:03,571 And you're staying off the prescriptions? 376 00:35:06,273 --> 00:35:09,276 Uh, yeah. Yes. I-- I haven't taken any. 377 00:35:09,309 --> 00:35:11,378 Um, I don-- I don't want to. 378 00:35:11,411 --> 00:35:14,348 You know, a-- after last time. 379 00:35:15,783 --> 00:35:19,687 Adalynn, that was a completely different situation. 380 00:35:20,655 --> 00:35:21,789 Yeah. 381 00:35:22,557 --> 00:35:23,791 Because I aborted him. 382 00:35:24,559 --> 00:35:27,862 It wasn't your fault. The-- the-- the-- the fetus-- 383 00:35:27,895 --> 00:35:30,364 It's Miles. His name was Miles. 384 00:35:32,567 --> 00:35:36,571 Miles had severe cardiac abnormalities. 385 00:35:37,170 --> 00:35:39,674 It was no longer a viable pregnancy. 386 00:35:40,474 --> 00:35:42,543 You know, we-- we took the best option. 387 00:35:42,910 --> 00:35:44,277 It wasn't your fault. 388 00:35:47,749 --> 00:35:48,916 I know. I know. 389 00:35:50,551 --> 00:35:51,819 I'm sorry, I just... 390 00:35:53,721 --> 00:35:54,789 I think about it... 391 00:35:56,924 --> 00:35:58,191 a lot. 392 00:35:59,894 --> 00:36:01,596 Everything was so perfect. 393 00:36:03,865 --> 00:36:05,399 I don't understand. 394 00:36:08,903 --> 00:36:10,237 Why him? 395 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:13,908 Was it the meds? 396 00:36:14,809 --> 00:36:15,877 Was it me? 397 00:36:16,577 --> 00:36:18,613 Was it something that I did? 398 00:36:18,646 --> 00:36:21,716 There wasn't anything that anyone could have done. 399 00:36:27,354 --> 00:36:28,422 He, uh... 400 00:36:29,057 --> 00:36:32,459 he would've been due six years ago last week. 401 00:36:34,595 --> 00:36:36,196 He would've been six. 402 00:36:40,001 --> 00:36:42,637 I sometimes wonder wha-- what my life would've been like 403 00:36:42,670 --> 00:36:43,771 if he would've lived. 404 00:36:45,740 --> 00:36:47,240 I think about it every day. 405 00:36:52,013 --> 00:36:53,614 You shouldn't do that to yourself. 406 00:36:54,515 --> 00:36:55,983 Besides, if he'd lived, 407 00:36:56,584 --> 00:36:59,219 who knows how it would've affected your life? 408 00:37:00,655 --> 00:37:02,322 You could have missed out on 409 00:37:02,355 --> 00:37:04,959 this beautiful bundle of joy right here. 410 00:37:09,797 --> 00:37:11,632 Sure, but... 411 00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:15,235 it's not all I think about. 412 00:37:16,003 --> 00:37:20,007 I also wonder what my life would've been like... 413 00:37:21,308 --> 00:37:22,710 without either of them. 414 00:37:24,846 --> 00:37:26,346 And then I get to thinking, 415 00:37:27,481 --> 00:37:29,316 "Did I will that to happen?" 416 00:37:29,349 --> 00:37:31,953 No. Ab-- absolutely not. 417 00:37:31,986 --> 00:37:33,286 What if I did? 418 00:37:35,590 --> 00:37:38,492 Stop! You loved your baby. 419 00:37:38,526 --> 00:37:39,727 Miles. 420 00:37:39,761 --> 00:37:42,295 You love both your children. 421 00:37:42,830 --> 00:37:45,600 Uh, you're just having an episode. 422 00:37:47,568 --> 00:37:50,972 It is just so much harder without the pills. 423 00:37:51,873 --> 00:37:52,907 You know, I-- 424 00:37:53,941 --> 00:37:55,543 I wish I could just take one. 425 00:37:56,978 --> 00:37:59,412 At least just one, Doctor. 426 00:37:59,947 --> 00:38:02,650 That-- that's not in your best interest right now. 427 00:38:02,683 --> 00:38:03,718 All right? 428 00:38:04,218 --> 00:38:08,388 I know it's hard, but this will pass. 429 00:38:09,356 --> 00:38:12,292 I'm just so afraid that something might happen. 430 00:38:14,028 --> 00:38:16,597 - Like what? - I don't know. 431 00:38:17,430 --> 00:38:19,600 Sometimes things just happen, you know? 432 00:38:21,501 --> 00:38:25,039 Or-- or what if I do something? 433 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:30,645 Are you afraid you may harm yourself or your baby? 434 00:38:32,814 --> 00:38:34,081 No. No, no. 435 00:38:37,484 --> 00:38:38,786 Have you been seeing things? 436 00:38:45,026 --> 00:38:46,527 You would tell me, right? 437 00:38:47,662 --> 00:38:48,729 Yes, yeah. 438 00:38:49,462 --> 00:38:53,400 Yes, of course, Doctor. I just wondered, is all. 439 00:38:54,101 --> 00:38:55,368 Okay. 440 00:38:58,606 --> 00:39:00,708 Well, remember that there's a after-hours number 441 00:39:00,741 --> 00:39:02,777 you can call, uh, if you need to. 442 00:39:04,045 --> 00:39:06,479 And in the meantime, I can assure you 443 00:39:06,514 --> 00:39:08,516 that your baby is in perfect health. 444 00:39:09,349 --> 00:39:12,787 And you have nothing to fear but fear itself. 445 00:39:26,567 --> 00:39:28,102 Drink the whole bottle for Mommy 446 00:39:28,135 --> 00:39:29,904 without scaring her half to death, all right? 447 00:39:31,471 --> 00:39:32,974 No more scares for Mommy. 448 00:40:06,674 --> 00:40:09,710 Oh, no. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. Oh, no. 449 00:41:07,702 --> 00:41:09,837 I feel like I'm starting to unravel. 450 00:41:09,870 --> 00:41:14,108 I'm seeing things. The worst things. 451 00:41:14,141 --> 00:41:17,712 I've read about this, it's not uncommon. 452 00:41:17,745 --> 00:41:20,748 God, I wish I had someone to talk to about this. 453 00:41:20,781 --> 00:41:22,950 But if I can just make it a few more days, 454 00:41:22,984 --> 00:41:24,719 Bill will be home 455 00:41:24,752 --> 00:41:26,587 and we can deal with this together. 456 00:41:26,620 --> 00:41:28,889 Just hold on, Adalynn. We can get through this. 457 00:41:28,923 --> 00:41:31,692 Just a little bit longer. 458 00:42:57,745 --> 00:42:59,180 One, two, three, 459 00:42:59,213 --> 00:43:01,315 four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 460 00:43:20,367 --> 00:43:21,869 Fucking toy! 461 00:44:00,841 --> 00:44:02,443 It was probably just a nightmare, babe. 462 00:44:02,476 --> 00:44:04,845 It wasn't a nightmare, Bill. 463 00:44:04,879 --> 00:44:08,182 I'm just saying it's 3:30 in the morning. 464 00:44:08,215 --> 00:44:10,084 Di-- Somebody was trying to break into our house, 465 00:44:10,117 --> 00:44:11,986 it happened. 466 00:44:12,019 --> 00:44:13,320 Otherwise, how do you explain the broken wine glass? 467 00:44:13,354 --> 00:44:15,156 I didn't dream that. 468 00:44:15,189 --> 00:44:18,058 -I don't know. -I'm calling the police. 469 00:44:18,092 --> 00:44:20,094 Oh, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second. 470 00:44:20,494 --> 00:44:21,829 Let's just take a minute, all right? 471 00:44:21,862 --> 00:44:23,063 Let's think about this. 472 00:44:23,097 --> 00:44:24,765 There has to be-- 473 00:44:24,798 --> 00:44:26,400 has to be a logical explanation, right? 474 00:44:26,433 --> 00:44:28,402 You said the doors were unlocked. 475 00:44:28,435 --> 00:44:30,204 Yes. And it was opened. 476 00:44:30,237 --> 00:44:31,739 And no one entered the house, right? 477 00:44:31,772 --> 00:44:34,041 No. I mean, I don't think so. 478 00:44:34,074 --> 00:44:35,276 But I heard-- 479 00:44:36,210 --> 00:44:37,444 I-- I thought I heard-- 480 00:44:39,780 --> 00:44:40,848 Adalynn? 481 00:44:42,416 --> 00:44:44,485 I didn't see anyo-- anybody come in, but-- 482 00:44:44,519 --> 00:44:46,987 -they could have. -How? 483 00:44:47,021 --> 00:44:48,255 What? 484 00:44:48,289 --> 00:44:49,990 What difference does that make? 485 00:44:51,225 --> 00:44:53,260 You're checking locks again. 486 00:44:53,294 --> 00:44:55,162 When was the last time you checked before that? 487 00:44:55,196 --> 00:44:56,263 I don't know. 488 00:44:56,297 --> 00:44:57,965 1:00, 1:30, why? 489 00:44:57,998 --> 00:44:59,300 And were they locked? 490 00:45:01,435 --> 00:45:03,904 -And they were locked? -Yes. 491 00:45:05,940 --> 00:45:06,974 Exactly. 492 00:45:11,312 --> 00:45:12,379 You're saying 493 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,315 they were locked. 494 00:45:15,316 --> 00:45:16,917 How could they be unlocked? 495 00:45:16,951 --> 00:45:18,352 They couldn't be, right? 496 00:45:22,289 --> 00:45:23,991 Adalynn? 497 00:45:24,024 --> 00:45:24,925 Maybe they picked the locks or something. 498 00:45:24,959 --> 00:45:26,460 I don't know. 499 00:45:26,493 --> 00:45:27,995 And what about the animals downstairs? 500 00:45:28,963 --> 00:45:30,397 What animals, Adalynn? 501 00:45:30,431 --> 00:45:32,066 The-- the-- the ceramic animals, Bill. 502 00:45:32,099 --> 00:45:34,168 The-- the-- the penguins, the polar bears. 503 00:45:34,201 --> 00:45:36,070 They were all mixed up and facing different ways. 504 00:45:36,103 --> 00:45:38,339 And I thought maybe I imagined it, but-- 505 00:45:38,839 --> 00:45:40,908 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. 506 00:45:40,941 --> 00:45:43,110 Hold on. You imagined it? 507 00:45:43,143 --> 00:45:45,079 After tonight-- 508 00:45:45,112 --> 00:45:46,981 Somebody has been in our house, Bill. 509 00:45:48,415 --> 00:45:51,385 Look, I saw what I saw. Okay? 510 00:45:51,418 --> 00:45:53,220 Why don't you believe me? 511 00:45:53,254 --> 00:45:55,456 Listen, I do believe you. 512 00:45:55,489 --> 00:45:57,291 I believe you heard something, but I don't believe-- 513 00:45:57,324 --> 00:45:58,959 That is not what I meant. 514 00:46:01,061 --> 00:46:03,097 Listen, I'm coming home. 515 00:46:03,130 --> 00:46:05,032 All right? I'll come home. 516 00:46:06,934 --> 00:46:08,969 -I'll catch the next flight out. -Bill. 517 00:46:09,003 --> 00:46:10,170 No. 518 00:46:12,172 --> 00:46:13,474 Well, then tell me, 519 00:46:13,941 --> 00:46:16,310 what the fuck am I supposed to do, Adalynn? 520 00:46:16,343 --> 00:46:18,245 Please, please. I'm out-- I'm outta answers. 521 00:46:19,246 --> 00:46:20,881 You have to finish. 522 00:46:22,383 --> 00:46:23,450 I'm sorry. 523 00:46:24,184 --> 00:46:27,054 Just haven't gotten any sleep and-- 524 00:46:27,087 --> 00:46:29,089 I just-- I guess I'm just preaching to the choir. 525 00:46:31,559 --> 00:46:32,826 Okay, listen. 526 00:46:33,427 --> 00:46:35,095 I'm gonna call security. 527 00:46:35,129 --> 00:46:36,897 I'm gonna have him come by, check on things. 528 00:46:36,930 --> 00:46:38,566 If anything else happens, 529 00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:39,933 you call the police. 530 00:46:41,603 --> 00:46:43,137 Yeah. 531 00:46:44,972 --> 00:46:46,508 Okay. Sure. 532 00:46:47,174 --> 00:46:49,009 Okay. Good. 533 00:46:52,413 --> 00:46:53,847 I'm gonna try and get some sleep. 534 00:46:56,283 --> 00:46:57,951 Good. Yeah. Get some rest. 535 00:46:58,586 --> 00:47:01,155 Oh, and please take your pills if you haven't yet. 536 00:47:02,189 --> 00:47:04,391 All right? 537 00:47:04,425 --> 00:47:07,194 -I love you. -I love you, too. 538 00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,109 Hello? 539 00:47:55,142 --> 00:47:57,144 - Hey. - Hey. 540 00:47:57,177 --> 00:47:59,947 I just got off the phone with, uh, the security office. 541 00:47:59,980 --> 00:48:01,148 What'd they say? 542 00:48:01,181 --> 00:48:02,416 They didn't find anything. 543 00:48:04,451 --> 00:48:06,688 The manager said there were some new kids in the complex. 544 00:48:06,721 --> 00:48:08,455 They were probably just screwing around. 545 00:48:08,956 --> 00:48:11,258 Screwing around? 546 00:48:11,291 --> 00:48:13,961 They're gonna do extra patrol for a couple of days. 547 00:48:13,994 --> 00:48:15,697 That was the best they can do. 548 00:48:15,730 --> 00:48:17,632 I'm sorry, didn't have any better news. 549 00:48:18,700 --> 00:48:20,568 Whatever, Bill. 550 00:48:21,235 --> 00:48:24,639 I'll call you later. Love you. 551 00:48:24,672 --> 00:48:27,174 I feel like I'm losing my mind. 552 00:48:27,207 --> 00:48:29,176 I'm starting to lose grip on reality. 553 00:48:29,209 --> 00:48:31,011 God, maybe Bill was right. 554 00:48:31,044 --> 00:48:32,647 Maybe this is all in my head 555 00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:34,047 and I should just get back on the meds. 556 00:48:35,382 --> 00:48:38,318 But I can't. Not yet. 557 00:48:38,352 --> 00:48:40,954 If I do I-- I don't know what they'll do to me. 558 00:51:43,905 --> 00:51:45,439 Please, no... 559 00:52:21,509 --> 00:52:23,343 Wait, wait, go back. 560 00:52:23,377 --> 00:52:24,779 The gun safe was open? 561 00:52:25,212 --> 00:52:29,817 I must have left it unlocked when I opened it the other day. 562 00:52:29,851 --> 00:52:31,853 - Opened for what? - I just... 563 00:52:33,420 --> 00:52:34,889 wanted to see it. 564 00:52:34,922 --> 00:52:37,324 You know, make sure it was there, in case-- 565 00:52:37,357 --> 00:52:38,760 Damn it, Adalynn. 566 00:52:38,793 --> 00:52:40,494 Thank God-- thank God you're okay. 567 00:52:40,528 --> 00:52:42,496 But, I mean, did you at least call the police? 568 00:52:42,530 --> 00:52:43,665 Yeah, they're on their way. 569 00:52:45,399 --> 00:52:47,735 Okay. That's good. 570 00:52:47,769 --> 00:52:49,737 - You sorry? - What? 571 00:52:49,771 --> 00:52:51,606 Are you sorry that you didn't believe me? 572 00:52:55,777 --> 00:52:59,647 I never said I didn't believe you. 573 00:52:59,681 --> 00:53:02,382 I'll see if I can catch a red-eye. 574 00:53:02,984 --> 00:53:05,452 No, Bill, you're almost done. 575 00:53:06,721 --> 00:53:07,855 Everything's perfect. 576 00:53:09,423 --> 00:53:11,592 - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure. 577 00:53:13,393 --> 00:53:15,863 Okay. Well, I'm gonna call that security office. 578 00:53:15,897 --> 00:53:18,633 I'm gonna rip them a fucking new one. 579 00:53:18,666 --> 00:53:20,802 In the meantime, I want you to call the maid 580 00:53:20,835 --> 00:53:22,937 and-- and see if she can make a special trip. 581 00:53:23,838 --> 00:53:25,540 I gave her the week off. 582 00:53:25,573 --> 00:53:26,406 Her daughter has the flu, remember? 583 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:27,675 Oh, shit! 584 00:53:28,142 --> 00:53:30,545 That's right. Okay. How about this? 585 00:53:30,578 --> 00:53:32,479 Go ahead and call my mom and she'll stay with you 586 00:53:32,513 --> 00:53:34,749 - 'til I get back, all right? - No, no, no. 587 00:53:35,149 --> 00:53:36,784 I said I'm fine. Okay? 588 00:53:37,919 --> 00:53:39,787 Adalynn... 589 00:53:39,821 --> 00:53:42,890 I'm perfectly capable of handling this by myself. 590 00:53:42,924 --> 00:53:44,892 I know how to take care of my baby. 591 00:53:44,926 --> 00:53:46,326 Our baby. 592 00:53:47,294 --> 00:53:48,328 I'm gonna finish cleaning. 593 00:53:48,996 --> 00:53:50,464 Maybe give the baby a bath. 594 00:53:50,965 --> 00:53:52,567 -I'll see you Sunday. -No, Adalynn. 595 00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:53,801 Adalynn, stay on the phone. Adalynn? 596 00:54:13,821 --> 00:54:15,388 Bill, I said I don't wanna talk right-- 597 00:54:15,422 --> 00:54:17,959 Hello? 598 00:54:17,992 --> 00:54:19,927 You're all gonna die. 599 00:54:33,741 --> 00:54:36,711 Look, I'll put in the report, 600 00:54:36,744 --> 00:54:39,379 but without a description and no forced entry, 601 00:54:39,412 --> 00:54:41,414 there's not a whole lot we can do right now. 602 00:54:41,448 --> 00:54:42,950 Okay, but what about the phone calls? 603 00:54:42,984 --> 00:54:45,052 -We'll run the number. -So that's it? 604 00:54:45,787 --> 00:54:48,288 I'm sorry. I-- I wish there was more we could do. 605 00:54:48,956 --> 00:54:50,925 Look, if you can think of anything, 606 00:54:50,958 --> 00:54:52,593 give us a call, okay? 607 00:55:06,774 --> 00:55:08,009 The best thing about picking up the pieces 608 00:55:08,042 --> 00:55:09,944 after completely falling apart 609 00:55:09,977 --> 00:55:12,747 is that it gives you a sense of control again. 610 00:55:12,780 --> 00:55:14,916 You can rebuild things however you want them. 611 00:55:16,818 --> 00:55:19,486 I spent the last few days losing my shit, 612 00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:22,023 but I knew I couldn't stay there. 613 00:55:22,056 --> 00:55:23,758 And look, 614 00:55:23,791 --> 00:55:25,827 this terrible thing that happened, 615 00:55:25,860 --> 00:55:28,896 I survived it, and I will continue to. 616 00:55:28,930 --> 00:55:32,465 I have to keep it together for my family. 617 00:55:32,499 --> 00:55:34,969 So, we're starting over. 618 00:55:35,002 --> 00:55:37,538 Everything can feel like new again. 619 00:55:37,572 --> 00:55:39,807 Good. Great, even. 620 00:55:39,841 --> 00:55:42,009 In a word, well, you know... 621 00:55:43,544 --> 00:55:44,612 perfect. 622 00:55:46,681 --> 00:55:48,015 Except... 623 00:55:48,049 --> 00:55:49,416 it's not perfect, is it? 624 00:55:51,986 --> 00:55:55,089 You can never put things back together like they were. 625 00:55:57,124 --> 00:56:00,393 And it can happen again. 626 00:56:00,427 --> 00:56:02,930 I can't keep this up forever. 627 00:56:02,964 --> 00:56:04,899 I know I'm not fooling anybody. 628 00:56:06,466 --> 00:56:07,668 I'm losing it. 629 00:56:25,086 --> 00:56:26,787 Kill them all! 630 00:56:32,860 --> 00:56:33,961 Do it. 631 00:57:08,963 --> 00:57:10,031 I'm sorry. 632 00:57:15,102 --> 00:57:16,170 I have to. 633 00:57:31,585 --> 00:57:32,653 No! 634 00:57:34,889 --> 00:57:36,023 No. 635 00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,862 No! No, no! 636 00:57:43,764 --> 00:57:45,166 No! 637 00:57:46,834 --> 00:57:49,136 Why are you doing this? 638 00:58:44,859 --> 00:58:46,193 You can't have us. 639 01:00:03,304 --> 01:00:04,705 Cici. 640 01:00:05,973 --> 01:00:07,808 Shit! No! 641 01:00:13,314 --> 01:00:15,983 It's okay. It's okay. 642 01:00:16,016 --> 01:00:21,822 One, two, three, four, five... 643 01:00:27,428 --> 01:00:33,868 One, two, three, four, five... 644 01:00:42,076 --> 01:00:43,244 Mommy! 645 01:00:45,246 --> 01:00:47,381 Wake up, Mommy. Wake up. 646 01:01:05,799 --> 01:01:06,867 Who's there? 647 01:01:07,835 --> 01:01:08,903 Huh? 648 01:01:16,844 --> 01:01:19,480 - How'd you get into my house? - Silly, Mommy. 649 01:01:19,514 --> 01:01:22,750 Stop playing. Come cuddle with me. 650 01:01:36,531 --> 01:01:37,965 Miles? 651 01:01:46,373 --> 01:01:49,376 Hello? 652 01:02:07,127 --> 01:02:08,195 You're not my son. 653 01:02:10,064 --> 01:02:11,098 Miles, he... 654 01:02:12,266 --> 01:02:14,034 ...he wasn't born. 655 01:02:14,068 --> 01:02:17,438 And yet, here I am. 656 01:02:19,139 --> 01:02:20,207 No. 657 01:02:21,041 --> 01:02:22,409 We lost you. 658 01:02:22,443 --> 01:02:24,411 You didn't lose me, Mommy. 659 01:02:28,315 --> 01:02:31,919 I wasn't perfect, so you killed me. 660 01:02:31,952 --> 01:02:33,487 - No! - Remember? 661 01:02:33,521 --> 01:02:35,422 No! 662 01:02:35,456 --> 01:02:37,091 Just like you killed all your family. 663 01:02:48,869 --> 01:02:49,937 The pills? 664 01:02:52,273 --> 01:02:53,474 These are the new ones. 665 01:02:54,576 --> 01:02:56,277 They were in my purse. 666 01:02:57,878 --> 01:02:59,179 But I-- I moved them, didn't I? 667 01:03:05,152 --> 01:03:06,521 Sorry I couldn't save you. 668 01:03:43,290 --> 01:03:45,459 They should kick in in about ten to 15 minutes. 669 01:03:46,427 --> 01:03:47,494 No, you're not... 670 01:03:48,429 --> 01:03:49,564 You're all right. 671 01:03:50,197 --> 01:03:51,265 You're fine. 672 01:04:02,476 --> 01:04:03,877 It's okay. 673 01:05:17,084 --> 01:05:18,385 Elizabeth. 674 01:05:36,069 --> 01:05:38,238 It worked. 675 01:05:39,273 --> 01:05:40,508 We made it, my love. 676 01:05:51,786 --> 01:05:53,353 Ready to see the world, sunshine? 677 01:07:38,793 --> 01:07:40,227 Bill! 678 01:07:47,635 --> 01:07:49,537 Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby. 679 01:07:49,571 --> 01:07:51,171 Put the gun down, babe. 680 01:07:52,472 --> 01:07:53,808 Bill? 681 01:07:53,841 --> 01:07:55,342 Put the gun down. Come here. 682 01:07:56,744 --> 01:07:58,846 What happened here, Adalynn? Adalynn, let go. 683 01:07:59,914 --> 01:08:01,783 -What happened? -What? 684 01:08:02,717 --> 01:08:04,284 Adalynn, what did you do? 685 01:08:07,922 --> 01:08:11,358 No. No, I-- It wa-- it wasn't like this. 686 01:08:11,391 --> 01:08:12,594 -I-- I-- I cleaned. -What the fuck! 687 01:08:12,627 --> 01:08:13,861 -Have you been drinking? -No, no. 688 01:08:13,895 --> 01:08:15,563 It was the break-in, Bill. 689 01:08:16,096 --> 01:08:17,799 -It wa-- -Look at this shit. 690 01:08:18,265 --> 01:08:19,834 Baby powder fucking everywhere. 691 01:08:19,867 --> 01:08:21,736 Where-- What's Elizabeth eating, huh? 692 01:08:22,904 --> 01:08:24,806 Look at me. Look at me. 693 01:08:25,439 --> 01:08:27,441 You're not even taking your pills, are you? 694 01:08:27,474 --> 01:08:28,643 -No. -What? 695 01:08:29,276 --> 01:08:31,411 The-- the doctor told me not to, Bill. 696 01:08:31,445 --> 01:08:33,313 What are you talking about, Adalynn? 697 01:08:33,347 --> 01:08:35,282 The doctor, he came to check on Elizabeth 698 01:08:35,315 --> 01:08:37,484 and he told me not to so that I wouldn't hurt her. 699 01:08:37,518 --> 01:08:39,386 Adalynn, I am your doctor. 700 01:08:40,320 --> 01:08:41,589 You fucking insisted on it. 701 01:08:42,624 --> 01:08:43,858 What the fuck is this shit! 702 01:08:43,891 --> 01:08:46,694 It's a fucking mess. 703 01:08:48,195 --> 01:08:49,262 Fuck. 704 01:08:50,297 --> 01:08:51,365 Fuck. 705 01:08:52,332 --> 01:08:54,535 Adalynn, you knew-- 706 01:08:54,569 --> 01:08:57,237 you knew having the baby would exacerbate your condition. 707 01:08:57,270 --> 01:08:58,338 You knew this. 708 01:09:00,307 --> 01:09:01,943 Look at me. You're dehydrated. 709 01:09:01,976 --> 01:09:03,878 - When was the last time you ate? - Stop. Stop! 710 01:09:03,911 --> 01:09:05,613 When was the last time you had water besides this-- 711 01:09:05,647 --> 01:09:07,548 I don't know. I don't know! 712 01:09:08,983 --> 01:09:10,450 You promised you'd tell me. 713 01:09:11,019 --> 01:09:13,420 You promised me and Elizabeth. 714 01:09:13,453 --> 01:09:15,389 -You promised us. -I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 715 01:09:15,422 --> 01:09:18,893 It's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry. 716 01:09:18,926 --> 01:09:21,562 It's okay. It's okay. 717 01:09:22,195 --> 01:09:24,431 Where's Elizabeth, Ad-- Adalynn? 718 01:09:24,464 --> 01:09:26,333 -What? -Our kid? 719 01:09:26,366 --> 01:09:27,935 -Where's our kid at? -No, no, no, no. 720 01:09:27,969 --> 01:09:29,804 -Bill. Bill, please come here. -Stop it! 721 01:09:29,837 --> 01:09:31,673 - Come here, please. It's fine. - Stop it! 722 01:09:38,579 --> 01:09:39,814 Don't go in there. 723 01:09:45,920 --> 01:09:47,722 - Oh, no! - No! 724 01:09:47,755 --> 01:09:48,956 Oh, God, no. 725 01:09:50,925 --> 01:09:52,560 No, not our baby. 726 01:10:04,304 --> 01:10:05,338 -No. -I'm sorry. 727 01:10:05,372 --> 01:10:06,507 No! 728 01:10:11,378 --> 01:10:15,282 Another delusion. And the worst one yet. 729 01:10:15,315 --> 01:10:17,417 I went right over the edge. 730 01:10:17,451 --> 01:10:19,020 When thoughts of harming my daughter evolved 731 01:10:19,053 --> 01:10:21,288 to harming myself, 732 01:10:21,321 --> 01:10:23,891 I realized that losing her and Miles would be too much. 733 01:10:24,926 --> 01:10:26,928 I couldn't bear that. 734 01:10:26,961 --> 01:10:29,296 But I think it's over. 735 01:10:30,064 --> 01:10:31,833 I think the pill-- 736 01:10:31,866 --> 01:10:33,668 I hope it worked. 737 01:10:37,772 --> 01:10:41,509 I guess I never really dealt with my grief before. 738 01:10:41,542 --> 01:10:43,410 I didn't know how. 739 01:10:43,443 --> 01:10:45,713 It just became easier for me to take pills, 740 01:10:45,747 --> 01:10:50,818 fixate on obsessive behaviors, and let reality fade away. 741 01:10:50,852 --> 01:10:54,254 But I think I can finally just let things be. 742 01:10:54,689 --> 01:10:57,290 "Oh, colored leaves are on the ground." 743 01:10:57,324 --> 01:11:00,528 I see now how unsustainable perfection is. 744 01:11:00,561 --> 01:11:02,429 I was never perfect. 745 01:11:02,462 --> 01:11:04,464 There's no such thing. 746 01:11:04,498 --> 01:11:06,299 There's just life. 747 01:11:06,333 --> 01:11:09,336 And when living it, shit happens sometimes. 748 01:11:09,369 --> 01:11:11,539 Whether pointless and mundane, 749 01:11:11,572 --> 01:11:13,841 or in a way that's cruel and earth-shattering. 750 01:11:17,344 --> 01:11:19,580 And when you're dealt a hand like that, 751 01:11:19,614 --> 01:11:21,749 I think you're left with a choice. 752 01:11:21,783 --> 01:11:24,051 You can find a way to live with it, 753 01:11:24,085 --> 01:11:26,453 or you can let it destroy you. 754 01:11:26,486 --> 01:11:30,490 Rather, you can destroy yourself and everything about you. 755 01:11:31,458 --> 01:11:32,727 Everything in your life. 756 01:11:38,699 --> 01:11:43,070 It sounds like an easy choice, but sometimes it's not. 757 01:11:43,104 --> 01:11:46,406 I, like many others, couldn't trust my brain 758 01:11:46,439 --> 01:11:47,508 to tell me the truth. 759 01:11:48,509 --> 01:11:50,443 And what's worse... 760 01:11:50,477 --> 01:11:53,346 I couldn't tell anyone what I was going through. 761 01:11:53,380 --> 01:11:55,415 What would people say, 762 01:11:55,448 --> 01:11:58,519 if I told them what I saw and felt? 763 01:11:58,553 --> 01:12:01,354 They'd say I was crazy. 764 01:12:01,388 --> 01:12:04,357 They'd call me a monster. 765 01:12:04,391 --> 01:12:05,927 Maybe they'd even try and take Elizabeth. 766 01:12:07,094 --> 01:12:09,063 But I'm not a monster. 767 01:12:09,096 --> 01:12:11,732 I'm a mother, like so many others, 768 01:12:11,766 --> 01:12:14,068 who went through some serious postpartum shit 769 01:12:14,101 --> 01:12:16,070 and can't even talk about it. 770 01:12:16,103 --> 01:12:18,539 We keep our mouths shut to avoid judgment. 771 01:12:18,573 --> 01:12:20,842 So we won't be labeled unfit. 772 01:12:20,875 --> 01:12:24,679 We ignore our own health to keep this deadly secret. 773 01:12:24,712 --> 01:12:27,582 But sometimes people need help, too. 774 01:12:27,615 --> 01:12:29,617 And, God, do I wish 775 01:12:29,650 --> 01:12:31,853 it was easier to ask for. 776 01:12:31,886 --> 01:12:33,486 Talk about a perfect world. 777 01:12:33,521 --> 01:12:34,922 Hey, girl. 778 01:12:34,956 --> 01:12:36,858 But we have to try. 779 01:12:36,891 --> 01:12:40,493 We have to open up to the people who care about us. 780 01:12:40,528 --> 01:12:42,997 And try and make the best of the world that we live in. 781 01:12:46,901 --> 01:12:48,903 We find ways to cope. 782 01:12:48,936 --> 01:12:50,972 We take it day by day. 783 01:12:51,005 --> 01:12:54,407 And in time, we improve. 784 01:12:54,441 --> 01:12:57,745 We heal, and we live on to fight another day. 785 01:12:58,779 --> 01:13:00,815 We do it for our cubs, 786 01:13:00,848 --> 01:13:02,650 like the great mother polar bear. 787 01:13:03,517 --> 01:13:05,820 So, I'll paint. 788 01:13:05,853 --> 01:13:08,689 I'll leave all my pain and my anger 789 01:13:08,723 --> 01:13:11,491 and my broken heart on the canvas. 790 01:13:11,525 --> 01:13:15,029 And with that, with every cathartic stroke 791 01:13:15,062 --> 01:13:17,031 and every drop of pigment squeezed 792 01:13:17,064 --> 01:13:20,001 out of my very soul, I'm set free. 793 01:13:22,169 --> 01:13:23,971 Does that mean I'm cured? 794 01:13:24,005 --> 01:13:26,173 No. I'm just... 795 01:13:27,041 --> 01:13:28,876 managing. 796 01:13:28,910 --> 01:13:31,879 I'm getting by, maybe even improving a little. 797 01:13:31,913 --> 01:13:35,716 I mean, Bill's prescriptions help, too, obviously. 798 01:13:35,750 --> 01:13:38,019 I read that they don't work for everyone. 799 01:13:38,052 --> 01:13:39,620 But Bill was right. 800 01:13:39,654 --> 01:13:41,222 After 15 minutes, 801 01:13:41,255 --> 01:13:42,757 these little blue pills gave me something 802 01:13:42,790 --> 01:13:45,226 I haven't had for weeks. 803 01:13:45,259 --> 01:13:46,961 Maybe not since we lost Miles. 804 01:13:48,162 --> 01:13:49,429 They gave me hope. 805 01:14:10,985 --> 01:14:14,555 And hope is just what I needed to save my family... 806 01:14:17,625 --> 01:14:18,826 and save my life. 807 01:14:24,966 --> 01:14:26,834 Adalynn, I'm home. 808 01:14:28,169 --> 01:14:29,737 Found this on the porch. 809 01:14:31,772 --> 01:14:32,940 I just ordered this. 810 01:14:35,876 --> 01:14:37,044 Oh. 811 01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:40,147 Hi. 812 01:14:43,551 --> 01:14:45,186 Adalynn. 813 01:14:45,219 --> 01:14:46,687 And Elizabeth. 814 01:14:47,455 --> 01:14:50,057 I was so worried, so worried. 815 01:14:51,258 --> 01:14:52,560 I'm so sorry. 816 01:14:53,961 --> 01:14:55,730 -It's okay. -You okay? 817 01:14:56,163 --> 01:14:57,231 I'm per-- 818 01:14:58,065 --> 01:14:59,133 I'm good. 819 01:15:01,836 --> 01:15:02,903 Hi. 820 01:15:06,574 --> 01:15:08,309 Daddy! 821 01:15:20,988 --> 01:15:22,757 - This isn't right. - Daddy! 822 01:15:22,790 --> 01:15:23,858 No! 823 01:15:26,060 --> 01:15:27,261 This isn't right. 824 01:15:32,666 --> 01:15:34,568 This isn't right. This isn't right. 825 01:15:40,074 --> 01:15:41,208 Mommy! 826 01:15:46,614 --> 01:15:49,350 This isn't right. This isn't right. 827 01:15:49,383 --> 01:15:52,586 What's the matter, Mommy? 828 01:15:54,055 --> 01:15:56,757 Adalynn. Adalynn. 829 01:16:04,065 --> 01:16:05,132 You're okay. 830 01:16:05,499 --> 01:16:06,934 You're having another episode. 831 01:16:08,135 --> 01:16:10,871 Focus on my voice and do your counting. 832 01:16:12,073 --> 01:16:14,075 No, this isn't right. 833 01:16:15,676 --> 01:16:16,977 - Adalynn. - You're not real. 834 01:16:17,344 --> 01:16:18,813 None of this is real. 835 01:16:19,213 --> 01:16:20,848 Leave us alone. 836 01:16:24,385 --> 01:16:26,787 I'm afraid this is worse than I thought. 837 01:16:28,289 --> 01:16:31,992 Remember, Adalynn. Remember how you got here. 838 01:16:34,361 --> 01:16:36,730 No. No, this isn't real. 839 01:16:37,364 --> 01:16:39,066 This isn't real. 840 01:16:39,100 --> 01:16:41,702 You've had some trouble discerning what's real 841 01:16:41,735 --> 01:16:43,637 from what's imaginary for a while now. 842 01:16:43,671 --> 01:16:45,172 No, no. 843 01:16:45,206 --> 01:16:49,410 You created an elaborate fantasy for yourself 844 01:16:49,443 --> 01:16:51,645 to escape the fact that you-- 845 01:16:53,681 --> 01:16:56,050 It wasn't your fault, Adalynn. 846 01:16:56,917 --> 01:16:58,018 Now, please... 847 01:16:59,420 --> 01:17:00,688 give it here. 848 01:17:01,188 --> 01:17:02,256 No. 849 01:17:03,190 --> 01:17:04,925 No, she's my baby. 850 01:17:07,795 --> 01:17:10,197 Go on. Look for yourself. 851 01:17:14,101 --> 01:17:16,403 No. 852 01:17:29,350 --> 01:17:31,118 Where is she? 853 01:17:32,753 --> 01:17:33,988 Where's Elizabeth? 854 01:17:34,955 --> 01:17:36,123 Where's Elizabeth? 855 01:17:36,690 --> 01:17:38,726 Please tell me. 856 01:17:40,227 --> 01:17:41,428 Maybe you should have a seat. 857 01:17:41,462 --> 01:17:43,831 No, doctor, please tell me. 858 01:17:46,867 --> 01:17:48,102 I'm sorry. 859 01:17:48,135 --> 01:17:49,904 Your baby died, Adalynn. 860 01:17:53,374 --> 01:17:54,475 -No. 861 01:17:54,509 --> 01:18:00,047 No, no, no, no, no! 862 01:18:00,080 --> 01:18:01,916 - No, no! - Daddy! 863 01:18:01,949 --> 01:18:04,785 No, God, no! 864 01:18:04,818 --> 01:18:07,121 Oh, no, no, no, no. 865 01:20:03,504 --> 01:20:05,239 Cici. 866 01:20:31,465 --> 01:20:34,636 Adalynn, I'm so glad that you picked up your phone. 867 01:20:34,669 --> 01:20:36,370 I have been trying to get in touch with you 868 01:20:36,403 --> 01:20:38,238 for a few days. 869 01:20:38,272 --> 01:20:39,607 There was a nursery incident, I was gonna stop by. 870 01:20:40,007 --> 01:20:42,443 It was a whole thing. Addy? 871 01:20:44,679 --> 01:20:45,946 Cici? 872 01:20:47,147 --> 01:20:49,183 You okay? 873 01:20:49,216 --> 01:20:50,384 It won't stop. 874 01:20:51,251 --> 01:20:52,319 What won't stop? 875 01:20:54,288 --> 01:20:56,156 It won't stop until I do it. 876 01:20:57,091 --> 01:20:58,560 Do what? 877 01:21:04,965 --> 01:21:06,166 Adalynn? 878 01:21:06,668 --> 01:21:10,070 Hey, I can't help you unless you tell me what's wrong. 879 01:21:10,104 --> 01:21:13,474 Okay? Hey, talk to me. 880 01:21:13,508 --> 01:21:15,376 I lost them both. 881 01:21:15,409 --> 01:21:17,144 I can't live with that. 882 01:21:17,177 --> 01:21:18,312 Adalynn, I want you to remember 883 01:21:18,345 --> 01:21:19,380 your breathing, okay? 884 01:21:20,414 --> 01:21:21,982 Okay, deep breaths. 885 01:21:22,717 --> 01:21:25,285 Can you put the baby somewhere safe? 886 01:21:25,319 --> 01:21:27,888 I gave her two milligrams of Lorazepam. 887 01:21:28,455 --> 01:21:30,224 It's best to just let her rest. 888 01:21:32,527 --> 01:21:34,529 I have to say goodbye. 889 01:21:34,562 --> 01:21:36,430 Adalynn! 890 01:21:36,463 --> 01:21:38,098 Adalynn, I want you to stay on the phone with me. 891 01:21:38,132 --> 01:21:39,534 Okay? Adalynn? 892 01:21:42,302 --> 01:21:44,037 Adalynn, I'm coming for you, okay? 893 01:21:47,975 --> 01:21:50,077 Hi, um, Dr. Bolland. 894 01:21:52,312 --> 01:21:55,215 Addy! Addy, stop it! 895 01:21:55,249 --> 01:21:57,050 Whatever you're doing, I want you to sit down. 896 01:21:57,084 --> 01:21:58,452 Addy, can you hear me? 897 01:21:58,485 --> 01:22:00,154 Sweetheart, I'm coming to get you. 898 01:22:00,187 --> 01:22:01,623 Okay? I'm gonna come. 899 01:22:01,656 --> 01:22:03,257 I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get the baby. 900 01:22:04,024 --> 01:22:05,092 Addy! 901 01:22:05,627 --> 01:22:07,261 Addy! 902 01:22:07,294 --> 01:22:08,530 I'm Mary Stewart, the grief counselor 903 01:22:08,563 --> 01:22:10,130 here at St. Patrick's. 904 01:22:12,600 --> 01:22:14,468 How is Adalynn? 905 01:22:15,235 --> 01:22:16,470 She's devastated. 906 01:22:16,937 --> 01:22:19,072 She keeps asking to see the baby. 907 01:22:19,106 --> 01:22:21,008 Pick the phone up. Can you say something for me? 908 01:22:21,041 --> 01:22:22,309 Addy, please! 909 01:22:22,677 --> 01:22:24,211 I need to be with her right now. 910 01:22:24,244 --> 01:22:26,013 Okay, Bill, Bill-- 911 01:22:26,046 --> 01:22:29,149 here. 912 01:22:29,183 --> 01:22:30,752 I'm almost here, okay? 913 01:22:30,785 --> 01:22:32,986 Let's have a seat, please. 914 01:22:34,388 --> 01:22:36,323 Addy, pick up your phone! 915 01:22:36,356 --> 01:22:38,125 This wasn't supposed to happen, you know? 916 01:22:40,360 --> 01:22:41,596 We did everything right 917 01:22:41,629 --> 01:22:43,130 this time, everything. 918 01:22:46,601 --> 01:22:48,168 Well, for starters, 919 01:22:48,202 --> 01:22:49,637 she's gonna need comprehensive therapy. 920 01:22:55,442 --> 01:22:57,377 That's gonna fucking break her. 921 01:22:58,078 --> 01:22:59,213 Adalynn! 922 01:23:26,106 --> 01:23:28,075 She insists Elizabeth's still alive. 923 01:23:28,108 --> 01:23:30,344 I know what you're gonna say, but I think 924 01:23:30,377 --> 01:23:32,680 Adalynn could really benefit from a reborn doll. 925 01:23:38,485 --> 01:23:39,687 What the fuck? 926 01:23:39,721 --> 01:23:41,388 I'm dying to meet the baby. 927 01:23:41,421 --> 01:23:42,790 Oh, um... 928 01:23:44,291 --> 01:23:47,060 we're not really up for visitors just yet. 929 01:24:01,543 --> 01:24:02,677 It wasn't your fault. 930 01:24:05,445 --> 01:24:06,548 As far as I'm concerned... 931 01:24:06,581 --> 01:24:08,683 It wasn't anybody's fault. 932 01:24:11,519 --> 01:24:13,655 If something were to happen to mama bear, 933 01:24:13,688 --> 01:24:16,724 then her cubs would surely die. 934 01:24:16,758 --> 01:24:19,661 But if something were to happen to her cubs... 935 01:24:19,694 --> 01:24:22,396 what would become of the mother? 936 01:24:22,429 --> 01:24:24,364 Would she have the strength to survive? 937 01:24:26,634 --> 01:24:28,736 Adalynn! Adalynn! 938 01:24:29,303 --> 01:24:31,138 Absolutely certain you wanna do this? 939 01:24:32,339 --> 01:24:33,708 Yeah. 940 01:24:54,194 --> 01:24:55,329 And in time, 941 01:24:55,897 --> 01:24:57,899 we heal. 942 01:24:57,932 --> 01:25:01,134 And we live on to fight our battles again another day. 943 01:25:04,772 --> 01:25:08,208 Unfortunately, I don't think we'll ever win the war. 944 01:25:09,476 --> 01:25:11,779 But we can still fight. 945 01:25:12,814 --> 01:25:15,482 Protect our families. 946 01:25:15,516 --> 01:25:18,352 Even at great sacrifice to ourselves, 947 01:25:19,219 --> 01:25:20,320 we fight. 948 01:25:21,455 --> 01:25:22,924 We fight to the bitter end.