This programme contains some strong language.
LAUGHTER
BREATHES SHAKILY
GASPS
Gut morgen!
Guten morgen!
SHE SCREAMS
Stop!
SHE WHIMPERS, WOMAN HUSHES HER
Toinette!
Think of your duty to me.
Your duty to Austria, to the House of Habsburg, to the
Holy Roman Empire and your duty to France.
RAGGED BREATHING
I look ridiculous.
You look French.
I have taken it upon myself
to prepare her for Versailles, Count Mercien.
Charlotte was ideal for the position,
but she was snapped up by neighbours.
That's right.
France has perfected the art of etiquette.
Our curtsies are copied all over the world.
The first one is a simple bow.
The second is the queen of curtsies.
Lower, lower.
The head up to the side.
As you can see, she has a long way to go.
Versailles is quick to pick up on imperfections.
They have asked us to confirm she is menstruating.
We have not replied. And again.
Should we hold her back?
Anti-Austrian elements at Versailles will twist it to their advantage.
We can't let a minor setback stand in the way of Austrian diplomacy.
She is the final piece in the Habsburg Bourbon puzzle.
Toinette! Toinette! SHE GIGGLES
This is Count Mercy.
Our ambassador to France.
Archduchess?
Mercy will be your mentor at Versailles.
Your French master is waiting for you.
Excuse me, Count Mercy.
Duty calls.
She will need all the assistance we can give her.
Is that good enough for Versailles?
DOG PANTS
HORSE WHINNIES
No!
Oh!
SHALLOW BREATHS
HORSE WHINNIES
GIGGLING
No!
It's enough.
It's goat's cheese mixed with yoghurt.
Your father spread it on his toast.
He did not.
Use it at night to clean your face.
If I look like this on my wedding night...
will Louis declares love for me?
Entertain the Dauphin.
Laughter brings joy to a marriage.
DUCKS CALL
Should I entertain him in bed?
SHE SNORTS
The marriage bed is the place where husband
and wife lie together in the greatest intimacy.
SHE EXHALES
Louis will guide you like your father guided me.
Papa was gentle, but firm.
Ma!
Your job is to deliver the heir.
What if I can't?
You will have failed in your duty.
But most of all...
..you will have failed me.
Do I look like a French princess?
You will always be an Austrian archduchess.
Who comes first?
Austria or France?
Who do you think?
Why would they hate me for being Austrian?
Let me stay.
Please!
SHE SOBS
I can go next year.
Or even the year after.
You can't stay, Toinette. Why? Why not?
The contract has been signed and sealed.
Please?
Mama, don't.
Don't make me go.
I...
I will write to you.
SHE STAMPS HER FEET
You may go now.
Go!
Oh, stop!
Attention!
THE EMPRESS:
The moment you cross the border, you will represent the Habsburg Empire.
SOFTLY: Come on.
I'm Madame de Noailles, mistress of your household.
SHE CATCHES HER BREATH
Curtsy.
Take the dog.
No, no, no, that's my dog.
That's my dog.
Your dog is not welcome here.
Where are you taking him?
Back to Austria, where it belongs.
Mops!
A French princess does not display her feelings.
Forward march!
HORSE WHINNIES IN BACKGROUND
And never cries in public.
We will be staying overnight at the Royal Lodge.
You will be presented to His Majesty, the King.
You will address him as Sire.
And then, Louis Auguste heir apparent, following the untimely death of his father.
You will address him as Monsieur.
Louis Stanislas Xavier, Comte de Provence, heir presumptive, you will address him as Sire.
Monsieur! Monsieur! Monsieur!
Where is Louis?
Coming, Sire. So is she!
Monsieur! Find him!
Find him!
MEN CALL OUT
Monsieur! Monsieur!
Here you are.
Welcome.
You curtsey to His Majesty. SHE GASPS
Oh, nonsense.
No need to stand on ceremony here.
Oh, no, you can save that for Versailles.
It is an honour to make your acquaintance, Monsieur.
Madame.
Oh, no, no, no. This is Provence, Louis's brother.
Oh, here he is. Louis.
Louis. Here.
What have you caught?
Yes. Ah!
Do stop. Do stop.
You're making our heads spin.
Sorry.
Come and meet the family.
Yes.
Madame.
My daughters.
Adelaide and Victoire.
Madame.
And the Duke de Chartres.
I'm a cousin.
What a pleasure.
Ah, and this is the Princess de Lamballe,
an Italian member of our family by marriage.
If it is possible, you are prettier than your picture.
Thank you.
I agree. Let's have a little lunch.
STEADY TAPS OF CUTLERY ON PLATES
THEY SLURP IN UNISON
SHE GIGGLES
SHE GIGGLES AGAIN
What are you laughing at?
She is amused by your manners, Madame.
And who wouldn't be?
So just...hm?
Or perhaps our Orleans cousin here
will have to teach us all a lesson in decorum.
I can't wait.
HE LAUGHS
THEY SLURP IN UNISON
THE EMPRESS: Entertain the Dauphin.
Laughter brings joy to a marriage.
What is your favourite sport, Monsieur?
HE BURPS
STIFLED LAUGHTER
Go on, lads.
You're in demand. Only plat du jour.
Please, don't get up.
Have you all been waiting for me?
What time do you call this?
My cabriolet broke down.
What is it with those wheels?
You must have a caleche for the country.
Yes.
Who is she?
SHE GIGGLES
Who is she?
The Countess is here to entertain Papa Croix.
I can do that. I can be very entertaining.
HE LAUGHS
Would you like to feed me, Monsieur?
Clumsy idiot.
Speak up. Shut up.
We can't hear you. Shut up!
HE SHUSHES THEM
FLY BUZZES
Provence cannot forgive his elder brother for stealing his crown.
Does he wash?
Louis lives in a world of his own.
How am I supposed to share a bed with a boy who smells?
He hunts every morning.
He won't change his routine, not even for you.
But he's a good boy.
Provence is the one with the waspish tongue.
At least he spoke to me.
These two.
They terrify me.
When I first arrived at Versailles, I could not believe my eyes.
"Lamballe," I said, "are they the king's daughters
"or are they medieval witches?
"Will they curtsy or burn me at the stake?"
They don't like me.
They don't like anyone, but they will soon learn to love you.
You are adorable.
Sweet.
It's not gonna bite you.
It might!
First impressions?
The little archduchess.
She seemed full of beans, didn't she, eh?
If she were a filly...
I'd say she has strong hind legs and a frisky tail.
But she should have fewer oats in her fodder.
LAUGHTER
Short, skinny, flat chested...
flat feet, and she's a ginger!
I wouldn't say she's that bad.
Did you see that vile Habsburg lower lip? So common.
She's too dreadful for words. Dreadful. Stop that.
Stop what? I'm hearing my echo.
Remind me, du Barry, where were you educated?
Was it a slum in Marseille or on the streets of Paris?
It won't be long before she delivers YOUR son.
I'm not ready to be a father.
We must get to know our little Dauphine.
Let's keep her in our sights, Provence.
I enjoy target practice.
IMITATES GUNSHOT
SHE GIGGLES
Why didn't we go with them?
French protocol.
You must spend your first night at Versailles with Louis
as husband and wife.
I can't imagine what's going to happen tomorrow.
Don't ask. Will he try it?
Will he try to kiss me?
You'll get down on your knees and pray that he doesn't.
Do I have to kiss HIM?
You must know. You're married.
I'm a widow.
Goodnight.
Sweet, sleep well.
We have a full agenda tomorrow.
DOOR OPENS
DOOR CLOSES
SHE GASPS
DISTANT THUDDING
FLOOR CREAKS
Curtsey.
MOVEMENT AND SHUSHING
SHE GASPS
SHE PANTS
BREATHING SETTLES
SHE EXHALES
HORSE WHINNIES
INDISTINCT CHATTER
RAGGED BREATHS
INAUDIBLE CHATTER INCREASES IN VOLUME
The Duke de Choiseul, His Majesty's Prime Minister.
Welcome to Versailles, Dauphine.
Choiseul is the architect of the Austro-French Alliance.
We prefer to call it the Franco-Austrian Alliance.
This is the man who chose you to marry the Dauphin.
Will he speak to me?
I'm certain he will, with your encouragement.
LIVELY CHATTER
THE EMPRESS: When you arrive at Versailles, everyone will be staring at you, Toinette.
They won't be looking at your pretty face or your elegant dress.
They will be gazing at the future Queen of France.
Any imperfections will reflect badly on you.
But of more importance, they will reflect badly on me.
GASPS
STIFLED CHUCKLES
Take it very slowly.
I tripped.
So what?
Well, they noticed.
Who cares if they did?
How was the mistress of your household?
She ordered me to curtsy and then she said it again.
Calm down. She took my pug at the border.
Why?
He was too Austrian.
I will raise the matter through diplomatic channels.
Don't tell mama.
That won't be necessary.
I found a casket of jewels.
They belong to Louis's late mother.
They are yours now.
SHE MUTTERS
CLOCK CHIMES
SHE SIGHS
Who lived here?
The Dauphine, Louis's mother.
Is this the dead Dauphine?
Don't speak about her like that.
Her memory is sacred to everybody who served her.
Monsieur!
HE SHUSHES
Monsieur, it's time to get ready, sire.
The late Dauphine left instructions for your daily routine.
You will rise every morning and say your prayers.
You have 15 minutes to complete your ablutions.
Three minutes with your hairbrush will suffice.
Vanity will not be tolerated at Versailles.
Stop!
Seemly enough for you, monsieur.
You will be dressed in public under strict rules of precedence.
No-one can touch the Dauphine other than the mistress of her household,
members of the royal family or a princess of the blood.
Any questions?
Did she leave any instructions for my wedding night?
No.
What is required of me?
God will be your guide.
What has God got to do with it?
She seems a little underdeveloped to me.
I was fully formed at her age.
You think she's ready?
I can prepare her.
My boy would like that.
Has your boy discovered his prick?
He could start by putting his hand down his trousers.
That would be a step in the right direction.
SHE GASPS
Touchy.
You cross my grandson and you cross me.
Hm?
THE EMPRESS: When you give birth to the Bourbon heir, you will guarantee peace for our ancient empires.
The fate of millions of people rests on your slim shoulders, Toinette.
SHE SHUSHES HIM GENTLY
GASPS
Oopsie!
Will you have this man to be your husband?
Will you have this man to be your...
I will.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
You may kiss the bride.
BELL RINGS
FIREWORKS CRACKLE
# Put him in bed with the Empress's daughter...
# Early in the morning
# He's gonna reach the Austrian border
# Early in the morning. #
# Way-hey, up he rises
# Early in the morning. #
LAUGHTER
May I offer you a seat, Countess?
Good work, Noailles.
The only thing that's missing is her wimple.
This is Versailles, Countess, not a brothel.
Sit down.
Keep watch over her and report back to me.
Until she produces an heir, we are not home and dry.
Little angel.
Right. That's better.
What should I do with these, sir? Wear them.
These are girls clothes.
How else are you going to enter her bedchamber, unnoticed?
Your name is Julie now.
Tread carefully.
French knives are being sharpened all over the palace.
Yes, sir.
Have you prepped her for tonight?
We assumed the Empress would do that.
Did your mother explain the mechanics?
What goes where, who does what?
Full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of their Lord, Jesus.
I can teach you the art of seduction.
Teach me.
Please, I must do my duty.
Another time, I promise.
I promise.
LAUGHTER
It's your big night, isn't it?
LAUGHTER
THEY WHISPER
WHISPERING CONTINUES
SHE SIGHS
HE SIGHS
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER GROWS
SHE SIGHS
DOOR CLOSES
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
Monsieur?
HE SOBS SOFTLY
HE SNORES
HE GASPS
Imbecile!
DOOR SLAMS
SHE GASPS
SHE YELPS
I feel...
..nothing.
Gut morgen!
Gut morgen! Guten morgen!
SHE SCREAMS
SHE GASPS
SHE SCREAMS
You have failed to perform your duty.
The Empress will be informed.
We are in France, Dauphine. Our rules, our etiquette.
EMPRESS: Your duty is to give them an heir and bring stability to our people.
Don't let me down, Princess.
In Versailles, no-one is what they seem.
Every sleep, every imperfection will be used against you.
The fate of millions of people rests on your slim shoulders.
Just do your duty.
You won't let me down.
What have you done to me, Mama?