1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,159 RAINFALL OUTSIDE 2 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,760 THUNDER RUMBLES 3 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,800 THUNDER CRASHES 4 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,800 Hup! 5 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,879 Hup! Hup! Hup! 6 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,159 HE GROANS 7 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,400 KNOCK AT THE DOOR Yes? 8 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,960 What? 9 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,519 Hey! 10 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,839 Hops! Hops! 11 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,960 Hops! 12 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,879 SHE SCREAMS 13 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,999 THEY LAUGH 14 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,279 Joseph! 15 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,440 Joseph! My God! 16 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,559 Look at you! 17 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,760 Joseph! 18 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,039 We were expecting Mama. 19 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,359 I persuaded her to let me come instead. 20 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:22,439 Even Ma could see this situation requires a delicate touch. 21 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,039 So she sent you? 22 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,040 Oh! 23 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,759 A butterfly appears to be trapped in your ridiculous hairdo. Stop it! 24 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,039 Stop it! 25 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:37,679 I won't take lessons in style from a man with holes on his elbows. 26 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,280 What are you wearing? 27 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,039 I always travel as Count Falkenstein. 28 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,039 You know how I hate to attract attention. 29 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:50,039 And besides, an Emperor only sees what he's shown. 30 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,320 Count Falkenstein sees the world with his own eyes. 31 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,440 What does he observe when he looks at me? 32 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,000 Your Queen's about to lose her crown. 33 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,959 You have to make an appointment. To visit my brother in law? 34 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,280 Don't be absurd. 35 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,199 Which way for the King? 36 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,799 That way. You can't just turn up. 37 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,479 Even I need permission to see him. 38 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,480 My God. No wonder you haven't produced an heir. 39 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,519 This is an Austrian ploy to seize the advantage in our negotiations. 40 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,439 Not at all. A visit from Vienna was expected. 41 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,519 By the Empress. And not until next month. 42 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,679 Count Falkenstein thinks he's caught me napping. 43 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,839 I'm always ready, Mercy. 44 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:42,200 Are you? 45 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,039 No! 46 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,640 We don't knock. Excellent! 47 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,080 We tap. 48 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,760 Toinette. 49 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,159 Stay. 50 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,959 Welcome to Versailles, sire. 51 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,439 May I present Count Maurepas, the King's mentor? 52 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,279 Excuse us, gentlemen. Family business. 53 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:12,640 DOOR SLAMS 54 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,719 Joseph. This one's big brother. 55 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,079 I am wet. It was pissing down all the way from Vienna. 56 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,759 Look at you. 57 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,280 We are cut from the same cloth. 58 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,880 Toinette, come and join us. 59 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,880 Come. 60 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,719 Now, what's all this nonsense about a divorce? 61 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,079 Isn't it time for you to kiss and make up? 62 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,160 It's too late for that. 63 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,119 Who is that Count Falkenstein? 64 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,319 He's the co-emperor of Austria. 65 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,759 Her brother? 66 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,919 Why doesn't he use his own title? 67 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,599 He prefers to travel incognito to avoid the fuss of state visits. 68 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,519 Isn't fuss the whole point? 69 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:10,279 The point is to settle his sister's divorce and send her packing. 70 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,480 Hmm! 71 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,000 May I present my family? No. 72 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,919 Let me guess. 73 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,920 Please don't. 74 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,199 Dignity. 75 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,439 Elegance. 76 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,999 Luminosity. Oh, wow. 77 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,919 Your portraits do not deceive, mesdames. 78 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,919 Hmm. 79 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:47,359 Ha! And here is the distinctive plumage of a bon viveur. 80 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,559 Your reputation goes before you. 81 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,999 Monseigneur. 82 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,919 You've done your homework. 83 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:54,919 Always. 84 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,399 And for my finale, 85 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,999 I hesitate. 86 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,919 I'm certain... Oh, but then I detect... 87 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,919 Oh... 88 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:10,239 Oh. The unmistakable aroma of a crisp young Savoy. 89 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,680 And the full-bodied opulence of a Comte de Provence. 90 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:17,880 Madame. 91 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,560 Monsieur? 92 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,320 Hmm. 93 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,760 Well... 94 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,919 I hope you will join us in Paris this evening. 95 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,199 Your musical maestro... 96 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,799 Saint-Georges? Mmm. 97 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,040 Saint-Georges is conducting his new opera. 98 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,840 Toinette. 99 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,360 Oh... 100 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,439 How can we put a stop to this? 101 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,680 We must face reality, sire. 102 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,439 Seven years and the marriage remains childless. 103 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,480 Even the Pope agrees that an annulment is fair. 104 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,639 Fine. Start the divorce negotiations. 105 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,439 But spin them out. 106 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:38,280 Buy me some time to talk sense into that dullard and my little sister. 107 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,400 To the opera! 108 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,200 Towel? 109 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,800 Oh, for God's sake, give me that. 110 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,959 Habsburgs. They're a cunning breed. 111 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:03,039 The Emperor may play the touchy-feely family man, 112 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,679 but all he cares about is expanding his empire. 113 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,959 He won't rest until he's occupied the whole of Europe. 114 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,680 This is where he's heading next. 115 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,240 Bavaria? 116 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,960 SHE SINGS 117 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:36,639 The libretto is woeful, but the score is sublime. 118 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,759 Mozart is right to be sensitive. 119 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,959 Your chap is the bee's knees. 120 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:44,359 I was about to appoint him my music master, 121 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,959 until Provence banished him from Versailles. 122 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:51,119 Your brother in law is a stuffed shirt, and his wife is terrifying. 123 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,800 Welcome to my life. 124 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,959 So tell me, what's going on with you and Louis? 125 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,359 Does he repulse you, beat you, 126 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:04,959 prefer his own sex? 127 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,719 We don't get along. 128 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,119 Do you want a divorce? 129 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,919 What I want is irrelevant. Not to me. 130 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,959 Louis has made up his mind. 131 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,079 So what? Are you going to accept his decision and run back home to Mama? 132 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,560 I don't have a choice. 133 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,000 Brilliant. 134 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,959 My God. Paris worships you. 135 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,759 You have something here, Toinette. 136 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,640 Fight for it. 137 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,199 I don't know how to. 138 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,959 That's why I'm here. 139 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,959 There are some things even you can't fix, Joseph. 140 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,320 Don't you believe it. 141 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,760 You were marvellous! Wonderful. 142 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,959 Hey! Are you all right? 143 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,200 What do you think you're doing? 144 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:49,840 Misfire. 145 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,239 Attempted regicide, more like. 146 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,439 You need an heir, and quickly. 147 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,560 DUCK CALL 148 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,160 Got it. This one's mine. 149 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,840 You're a good shot. 150 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,959 Shooting is simple for sporting men like us. 151 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,959 Shooting your seed, that's more difficult. 152 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,959 Seed? 153 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,400 If you want my advice, go for volume. 154 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,079 Volume? Volume! 155 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,039 You need to be on my sister day and night. 156 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,959 Shoot, reload, shoot, reload. 157 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,120 Wham, bam. Thank you, ma'am! 158 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,159 She doesn't want me anywhere near her. 159 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,039 Oh. 160 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,959 Shall we talk to her? 161 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,760 I have nothing to say. 162 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,120 I will speak for you. 163 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,959 Where's the Emperor? 164 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,440 He's engaged on other business. 165 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,439 What's more important than settling his sister's divorce? 166 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,000 He didn't say. 167 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,959 What's the point in doing this? 168 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,959 It's over. There's nothing to be done about it. 169 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,719 If your brother says he can help you, let him try. 170 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,519 Louis may change his mind. 171 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,519 Maurepas won't let him. 172 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,479 You know what? I will miss you when I go back to Vienna. 173 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,120 You are going nowhere, Antoinette. 174 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,999 Fine. 175 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,760 Ah. Marriage. 176 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,199 Marriage, marriage, marriage. 177 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,359 Aren't we here to discuss our divorce? 178 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:18,039 No, no. Let the pen-pushers toil over your divorce. 179 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,559 If the same effort had been put into your marriage, 180 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,200 we wouldn't be sitting here now. 181 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,439 Well? 182 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,040 Can you honestly say you have tried everything? 183 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,279 I think we both... No, no. 184 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:34,959 Not you. 185 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,600 You. 186 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,759 Do you make an effort with your husband? 187 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,759 Show him affection? 188 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,239 Entertain him? 189 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,560 Take an interest in his hobbies? 190 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:52,199 Does he do any of those things with me? 191 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:56,159 Men have more important matters to think about. 192 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,759 Isn't a woman important? 193 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:02,639 Of course. She is her husband's helpmate, his consolation. 194 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,999 She is his shelter, not a storm. 195 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,999 What if he is her storm? 196 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,039 Then she will draw on her reserves of feminine good temper 197 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,640 that make a wife blind to his faults. 198 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,000 You know what? 199 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:27,879 I must be a queer, crazy kind of wife. 200 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:32,200 Because when I look at men, I see... 201 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,159 No, no. Nothing but their faults. 202 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,240 Toinette... 203 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,199 Their pomposity. Sit down. 204 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,679 Their unwarranted, self-satisfied smugness, 205 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,799 their clumsiness, their obsessions, 206 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:50,439 their inability to show a modicum of love or tenderness to their wives. 207 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,399 You go too far, Toinette. 208 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,199 Yes, you're right. 209 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,919 It's a fault of mine. 210 00:15:55,920 --> 00:16:01,999 It seems I have many, the greatest, greatest of which was my stupidity 211 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,560 to have been born a woman. 212 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:10,359 I should have been a clock, or a lock, or a horse. 213 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,599 Then... 214 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,199 SHE WHINNIES 215 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,639 Stop it. 216 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,080 ..perhaps he would have taken an interest in me. 217 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,199 That's all my fault... 218 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,759 All your fault. That women are not important. 219 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,160 We don't even interest you. 220 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,759 If only I had a baby to play with. 221 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,640 Everyone is watching my stomach, looking for a sign. 222 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,840 Give me a child and I'll never trouble you again. 223 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,480 SHE CRIES OUT, MUFFLED 224 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,120 SHE YELLS 225 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,760 Apologise. 226 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,319 What for? 227 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:53,999 For being an ugly, unfuckable bitch. 228 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,400 HE GRUNTS 229 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,239 Oh! 230 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,759 HE WHIMPERS 231 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,800 Stop! Stop! 232 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,840 Apologise. 233 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,759 Apologise! 234 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,759 I'm sorry. 235 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,679 I could be as lovely as Helen of Troy, 236 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,439 but you still wouldn't want to fuck me! 237 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:22,960 HE GASPS 238 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:36,239 What lessons in marriage from a man who's buried two wives? 239 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,759 What pearls of wisdom can he possibly impart? 240 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,760 Who knows? But he has made things a thousand times worse. 241 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,240 Keep up the good work. 242 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,040 It's all leverage for the divorce. 243 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,200 What happened? To his wives? 244 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:12,119 The first one fell in love with his sister. 245 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,759 She expired of unrequited love. 246 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,119 And then the second one was so neglected 247 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,800 that she prayed for smallpox. And got it. 248 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,679 You should consider your future, Yolande. 249 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,119 When she goes, you'll be knocked off your perch. 250 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:36,920 Then you'll have to find some other way to support those men of yours. 251 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,160 There you are. 252 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,760 Rumour has it that you are about to get divorced. 253 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,439 To my enemies, 254 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,280 who can't wait to celebrate. 255 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,399 To you, 256 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:12,719 the only member of my French family who actually likes me. 257 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,440 You're mistaken. 258 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:23,200 I merely tolerate you. 259 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:31,279 When a ship is sinking, its flags keep flying. 260 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:35,919 Don't give your enemies the satisfaction of knowing they've won. 261 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:42,360 They'll know when I disappear beneath the waves. 262 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,759 You'll drown in the end, my love. 263 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:51,920 Now, the trick is to go down... 264 00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,280 ..in style. 265 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,799 Come on. 266 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,879 CROWD LAUGHS AND CHEERS 267 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,480 Some more champagne, please! 268 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,600 Hmm. 269 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,000 You came. 270 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,759 You said that you could help. 271 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,480 Oh, yes, yes indeed. Come in. 272 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,759 Where is she? 273 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,680 She's on her way. I'll speed her along. Sit down. Sit down. 274 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,960 CHAT AND LAUGHTER 275 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,240 SHE SHOUTS 276 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,400 CHEERING 277 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,920 Again! Again! 278 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,639 Why don't you join us? 279 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:46,840 Move. 280 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,760 SHE SHRIEKS 281 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,399 My brother Joseph, ladies and gentlemen! Come here! 282 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,399 SHE WHOOPS 283 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,759 Come here! 284 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,759 How dare you humiliate me? 285 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,759 How dare you humiliate the King? 286 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,240 Go in. 287 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,919 SHE LAUGHS 288 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:17,920 Well, I can hardly humiliate someone who isn't here. 289 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,999 You know the problem with gamblers, Toinette? 290 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,440 You think your luck will never run out. 291 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,519 Austria agrees to return all of the late Dauphin's jewels. 292 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:44,319 France agrees to return the Queen's dowry, minus her gambling debts. 293 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:48,239 Austria will not accept any deductions. 294 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,639 France notes that the Empress has tightened her grip 295 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,759 around her ambassador's balls. 296 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,599 I'd rather be manhandled by a powerful woman than 297 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,040 sit in the lap of a mute man-child. 298 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:06,440 That's one thing the Queen won't miss when she returns to Vienna. 299 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,520 Oh, you don't seriously think we'll be sending her home? 300 00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:16,759 A prisoner of state. 301 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:18,759 You will remain in France. 302 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,759 But be deprived of your liberty. 303 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,759 In jail? Yes. 304 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:23,800 No. 305 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,759 Appropriate accommodation will be found. 306 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,759 I just don't want to go home. 307 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,759 Why can't I go home? 308 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:39,159 Maurepas considers you a security risk. 309 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,360 You know too much, Toinette. 310 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,480 I know nothing! 311 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,480 What will become of me? 312 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:16,759 This is a distraction. 313 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,360 There's no need for you to go there. I want to see it. 314 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,520 DOOR LOCKS 315 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,440 DOVE COOS 316 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,360 Shall we conclude the negotiations? 317 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:56,920 Later? 318 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,959 Dear God, what do you do at night? 319 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:11,640 Cross stitch? 320 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,839 Speak to me! 321 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,320 It hurts. 322 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,520 It hurts when he enters me. 323 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,079 Oh. 324 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:29,000 Oh. Well, that's perfectly normal when sexual relations begin. 325 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,240 Do you arouse her? 326 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,000 Yolande says... 327 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:43,760 ..he's clueless. 328 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,560 You have screwed other women, right? 329 00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:59,199 Oh. 330 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:03,759 Well... You must practise with someone who knows what she's doing. 331 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,759 A prostitute? 332 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:10,399 Why not? A husband does not stray if he loves his wife. 333 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,759 Isn't it the custom for the King of France to have a mistress? 334 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,520 Look at your grandfather. My father didn't betray my mother and I won't betray my wife. 335 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:34,560 The instructional items you requested, sire. 336 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,640 Thank you. 337 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,759 Your investigation... 338 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,119 Has there been any progress? 339 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:51,079 White doves no longer flutter around the corridors of Versailles. 340 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:52,759 I have hunted them into extinction. 341 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,720 And the perpetrator? Have you hunted him down? 342 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,759 He has fled. 343 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,759 And taken his venomous pen with him. 344 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,040 I expect you to find him, Beaumarchais. 345 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,840 I'm on the case, sire. 346 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:16,480 DOOR CLOSES 347 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,159 May I come in? 348 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,759 Yes. 349 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,080 Yes, of course. 350 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,119 DOOR CLOSES 351 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,600 Well... 352 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:54,760 You said a man who loves his wife doesn't stray. 353 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,520 Louis, this man... 354 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,359 The one who loves his wife, is that you? 355 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,040 Who else would it be? 356 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,600 So you do love me? 357 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:17,039 I have expressed my feelings in my own way. 358 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,080 Which I deeply regret. 359 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:21,920 And so have you. 360 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,999 I could have behaved...better. 361 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,800 So could I. 362 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,560 I am sorry for what I did. 363 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,079 No, you can't open that. 364 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,759 You can't open that, please. No? Why not? 365 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,560 Back to me now. What? 366 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,319 What is it? 367 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:58,759 It's nothing. 368 00:32:58,760 --> 00:32:59,959 Let me see it. 369 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:01,280 I'm sorry but... 370 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,840 Why won't you show that to me? 371 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,560 Hmm? 372 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,359 What's in it? 373 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,039 Nothing. 374 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:16,800 Come on, let me see it. 375 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:21,280 Let me see it. 376 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,200 Oh... 377 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:52,719 Joseph is right. You should learn from another woman. 378 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,439 No, I don't... 379 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,760 It's our only chance. 380 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,640 LAUGHTER 381 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,239 You're besotted with her. 382 00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:16,879 She's my friend. 383 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,879 The Queen of France doesn't have friends. 384 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,119 You're surrounded by parasites, 385 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,759 and she is the biggest louse of them all. 386 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,759 Look at her. She's having fun. 387 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,759 She's debauched, and she's related to Maurepas. 388 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:35,279 You shouldn't be discussing your private life with her. 389 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,040 That's not what I'm saying. Watch out, please. 390 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:42,279 Good shot! 391 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:43,759 Thank you, Joseph. 392 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,320 Perfection! 393 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,039 Sycophant. 394 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,359 It's called strategy. Try it sometime. 395 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,479 Start by ditching de Polignac. 396 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,359 Then what? 397 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,759 Die of loneliness? Aww. 398 00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:00,439 Why don't you rekindle your friendship with Lamballe? 399 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,079 At least she's a princess. 400 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,199 If she'll have you. You treat her like dirt. 401 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,320 Let's hope she doesn't bear a grudge. 402 00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:17,160 Hey! Hey! 403 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,719 What's wrong with her? 404 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:23,439 Stop! 405 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,679 I think she did do that on purpose. Sorry. 406 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,240 Stop laughing! Stop! 407 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:42,199 I've been a terrible, terrible, terrible friend. 408 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:43,759 Can you forgive me? 409 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,159 It's you who should forgive me. 410 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,439 I've been a terrible superintendent. 411 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,879 No, you've always been so good to me. 412 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,360 Always. 413 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,160 I'm full of sin, Toinette. 414 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:05,160 I will pray for you from my convent. 415 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,400 They should be honoured to have you here. 416 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,600 That family doesn't deserve you. 417 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,639 I know. What? 418 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:26,840 I know. 419 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:33,240 I'm going to arrange a musical soiree. 420 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:40,559 And you will sing at Versailles. 421 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,759 Me? Yes. 422 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,919 Why me? 423 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:48,200 To show them that you don't care. 424 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:56,479 In hasty response to your letter, Ma, I can assure you 425 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,320 that your fears are groundless. 426 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,959 Everything is proceeding precisely to plan. 427 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,800 There will be no divorce. 428 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,800 Mercy has got the measure of Maurepas. 429 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,960 The negotiations have ground to a halt. 430 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,639 The King is taking constructive steps towards consummating 431 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,519 his marriage with your daughter. 432 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,679 He only needs a little guidance, 433 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:31,960 but everything is in hand. 434 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:17,520 MOANING 435 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,320 I am confident that with a little patience... 436 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:32,759 Very good. 437 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,319 Almost there. 438 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,560 ..we will achieve the happy ending. 439 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:57,039 "While the King plays away, 440 00:38:57,040 --> 00:39:02,640 "the Queen performs cunnilingus in her lady's chamber." 441 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:05,760 Ah. 442 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,720 Are you going to celebrate with me? 443 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,039 Oh, come on. 444 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:21,159 Are you really going to let her rot in that convent? 445 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,759 You've been around for long enough, Mercy. 446 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:27,039 There are more unpleasant endings for a former Queen. 447 00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,280 I won't drink to any of them. 448 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,680 Can we admit that you're beating a dead horse? 449 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,440 Oh, a dead mouse. 450 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,080 He's hiding from your hideous face. 451 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,360 Could you stop staring? 452 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:07,759 Does that help? 453 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:12,639 Maybe you're a soft man with a soft tool 454 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,520 who can only make babies out of soft furnishings. 455 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:18,200 Cushions. 456 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,760 PRIEST SPEAKS IN LATIN 457 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,480 HE WHISPERS 458 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:53,079 Have you been working hard at your lessons? 459 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,520 Can you tell? Yes. 460 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,159 How are you getting on? 461 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:04,039 Um... It's like learning to ride. 462 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,439 Just when you think you've got your balance, 463 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,399 you're instructed to increase the tempo. 464 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,799 SHE LAUGHS 465 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,319 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 466 00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,080 Have you risen to your trot? 467 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,920 Actually, I have started to canter. 468 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:29,200 SHE GIGGLES 469 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,679 They seem very jolly. 470 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,919 Any reason? 471 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,720 I wouldn't know. She's been avoiding me. 472 00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,919 Sister, sister! 473 00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:01,999 An invitation from Lamballe to a musical soiree. 474 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,160 It's on behalf of the Austrisch bitch. 475 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,520 Oh! I had no idea. 476 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:12,680 LAUGHTER 477 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,719 We Austrians adore concerts. 478 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,399 Low-key, of course. 479 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,920 Herr Mozart entertaining the family with his famous ditties. 480 00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:28,800 Doesn't France have someone who would give him a run for his money? 481 00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,239 May I pass, please? 482 00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:44,760 May I pass, please? 483 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,439 I am still the Queen. 484 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,400 Yes, but for how much longer? 485 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,319 I thank you kindly. 486 00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,600 You do know it's them, not us. 487 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,840 Quickly, this way. 488 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,720 STRING QUARTET PLAYS 489 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,080 Isn't he magnificent? 490 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,399 This is an insult. Sit down. 491 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,239 No, I will not sit down. 492 00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:56,680 Sit down. 493 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:10,640 SHE SINGS 494 00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,160 Bravo! 495 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,120 HE HUMS 496 00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,560 I threw Saint-Georges out. How dare he come back? 497 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:12,199 We invited him. 498 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:13,399 We? 499 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:14,800 My wife and I. 500 00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,519 Which one's me? 501 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,240 The fat one. 502 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:36,359 And those little ones, they're my nephews, running in the sunshine. 503 00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:37,759 Five sons? 504 00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:41,439 Yeah, an heir, and two spares. 505 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,999 Joseph, one, two, and three. 506 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,480 Though number three is worryingly wispy. 507 00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,359 What if I can't do it? 508 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:52,919 Do what? 509 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,920 Have sex with Louis. 510 00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:59,039 Well... You know what Ma would say. 511 00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:01,919 "Failure is not an option!" 512 00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:06,080 Heirs and world domination are what we Habsburgs do. 513 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:11,840 So... 514 00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:17,760 ..where are you off to next, Joseph? 515 00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:22,759 It's a mountainous region of little importance. 516 00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:26,119 My second wife was a Bavarian princess. 517 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,079 She left her territories to me. 518 00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:33,759 If they're already yours, why exactly do you want to invade? 519 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:38,079 No-one else seems to believe they're mine, least of all Prussia. 520 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:42,080 Anyway, I prefer to call it rectification. 521 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:44,920 Louis... 522 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,880 ..can I rely on your military support? 523 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:53,800 I'll think about it. 524 00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,800 Don't take too long, my friend. 525 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:05,280 In the meantime, you might want to do something about this. 526 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:16,759 The pavilion? 527 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,759 Ten minutes? 528 00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:20,680 All right, see you there. 529 00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:25,840 So... 530 00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:35,759 We finally went in for the kill. 531 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,880 No more than we expected. 532 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:45,520 Now, all that's required is your signature. 533 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:59,599 Then we can say goodbye to Austria 534 00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:02,960 and find you a suitable wife. 535 00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:13,240 I think you'll find it's all favourable to our side. 536 00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:26,320 Excuse me. 537 00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,360 DOOR OPENS 538 00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:29,759 Where is he? 539 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,759 He said he would be here. 540 00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,600 What do you think we should do? 541 00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:47,880 SHE MOANS 542 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,879 Oh. You did well, Joseph. 543 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,320 She has performed her duty. 544 00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:05,159 Not quite. 545 00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:07,439 One usually follows the other. 546 00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:09,280 Not necessarily. 547 00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,719 Shall we discuss Bavaria? 548 00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:15,120 Not now.