'She tells me I'm a foolish female, who has read too many romances.
'She tells me there's only one cure. I must forget my childish fancies,
'harden my heart, and commit my future to London.'
RATTLING
Tighter.
I said tighter.
'Lady Bellaston is my aunt. Of course I trust her.'
Feathers. Feathers. We both know that's not complete.
Not the green.
There we go, that wasn't hard, was it?
From country girl to lady of fashion.
Your transformation shall be complete.
BUSY CHATTER
I don't believe we invited you.
Have you met my niece?
Oh, isn't she lovely? Very lucky to be here.
She's still quite shy.
I won't disturb you any further.
CHILDREN LAUGH AND PLAY
Amo, amas, amat... Amamus, amatis, amant.
Bene. Salve, Tommicus. Say it! Salve, Tommicus.
Salve, puella! Mr Jones, can you not
persuade your friend to teach her something more useful?
I like Latin! Magic tricks. They're useful.
Mrs Miller, we had no Jones here last time I looked.
Mr Jones and Mr Partridge took rooms some days ago,
but as you're the kind of tenant
who rarely comes home before the cock crows...
Up to no good, I hope? I'm Jones. Oh, er, Nightingale.
Alas, I spent the weekend at my father's house.
But the wine was a good deal more enjoyable than the conversation.
THEY CHUCKLE Found this for you, on the doorstep.
Is it your birthday, Tommicus?
Felix sit natalis dies! It's not my birthday.
"Admit one to the Maskewra..." The masquerade. What a capital idea.
Let's all get tickets. Nancy?
Er, no daughter of mine
is setting foot in one of those places, thank you.
"The Queen of the Fairies sends you this. Use her favours not amiss."
A woman of mystery.
It must be from Sophia. Look! Don't be daft.
Sophia... Western. Or southerly westerly.
Or, "Soldier, soldier, won't you marry me?"
Can I be Queen of the Fairies? No, you cannot.
Jones! You're a dark horse!
So, country boy, how this works is, you go up to any young lady
who catches your eye, you bow, then you pretend to know her.
I'll know Sophia immediately. I'll know her by her voice.
Something about wearing masks...
The ladies, they find it so seductive.
You'll work it out, Jones. Good luck.
Nancy! SHE GIGGLES
LIVELY MUSIC
Madam, may I hear your voice? Go away or I'll scream.
Madam, do you know Miss Sophia Western?
As well as I know you, sir, which is not at all.
Madam, please...?
You're a handsome young fellow. I know a quiet place...
No. No, I'm sorry, I'm not looking for... that.
Oh, hoity-toity! Damn, your eyes!
Flirt with any more trollops and I shall tell Miss Western.
You know Miss Western? Madam?
MUSIC SWIRLS
Madam, please, wait. I must speak with you.
Is she here? She sent me an invitation.
Or I let myself believe she did, but now that I am here
I know she would never.
Please, madam. If you know anything...
I know everything.
For I am the Queen of the Fairies.
I can't help my position, or my... my lack of fortune.
But there's... There's no excuse for my behaviour.
Young men may take pleasure where they will.
For young ladies, the choice is duty or ruin.
If I could just see her and tell her to her face how much I love her...
Think less about love, and more about making a living.
That would be my advice.
Now, it's getting late. Sir, will you pay the bill?
Oh! I... I, er...
I'm sorry. My pockets are empty.
And you won't follow me, for whatever would the world think?
LIVELY MUSIC SWELLS
Get another drink!
FIREWORKS WHISTLE
FIREWORKS POP
DISTANT POPPING
REVELLERS SHOUTING
Aunt Harriet's house?
Madam...
I was informed Miss Western had left this house.
Madam, tell me truly, is... Is Sophia here?
Under this roof after all. She is not.
And what gentleman asks for one lady in the presence of another?
My Lady Bellaston, it is an honour to meet you again.
Sophia Western will never be yours. Never.
"Aunt Bellaston," she said, "the villain has betrayed me,
"I can never forgive him."
Then I have truly lost her.
Haven't I been telling you that all night?
You have destroyed any girlish sentiment she once felt for you.
Oh, you charming creature, don't cry.
SHE SIGHS You're so young.
Another girl will capture your heart in no time.
Come, sit by me.
Hm.
Let's drink to love, hm?
If only I could have seen her just...
..once more. You can't. To love.
Hm.
To love.
Mm.
And to life.
For in this vale of tears, it's only natural to seek comfort
where we may.
Oh, poor Tom.
Such a long way from home.
PASSIONATE MOANING
THEY SNIGGER
PASSIONATE WAIL, THEY LAUGH
I've had better lovers.
More proficient, more... technical.
I would trade all that for your enthusiasm.
Well, I am glad to make a lady happy.
Are you not happy, pretty Tom?
Is this fine fellow not happy? I can make him so again in no time.
Next time, then.
But we can't have you walking around the city in these rags.
You shall have to have better clothes.
No. No, madam, I don't need your money.
Oh, I think you do. Look at you!
Half starved. Not very clean.
Hmm.
Dear boy, think of it as a loan from a kind benefactor.
But I can never pay you back.
I think you can.
Come, Tom.
Your life is in London now. Enjoy it.
Leave me or make love to me. You choose.
Do as you're told, darling.
Saves time.
THEY CHUCKLE All right.
OPERATIC MUSIC
MUSIC REACHES A CRESCENDO
LIVELY MUSIC
Oh, Harriet, your face.
Do I not pay you well enough, dear?
Are you so jealous, darling?
Don't tell me, a sudden fit of morality.
That poor girl loves him.
More fool her.
Whoever you got to last night, I don't want to know.
Then I shan't tell you.
And I don't want to know how much it cost us.
Fifty pounds! Where did you get all that?
I thought you didn't want to know.
Look, change the note,
pay yourself back everything I've borrowed from you,
and the rest should cover our rent to Mrs Miller.
Not so fast!
I want... I want to hear about the Queen of the Fairies.
Ah, well... There's nothing to tell.
It was bad enough in Bath.
The silly hair and lacing so tight I can't breathe.
I think I'm gonna leave it there today, miss.
Otherwise it'll take me forever to put it back up in the morning.
Now, about your face... This paint...
We might have to start using it all the way down, miss,
if you're to look like... all the other ladies.
No. Take it off. All of it.
LADY BELLASTON: Good God!
Oh!
Thomas!
Thrown out over a silly affair with some girl!
So provincial.
Yeah, I can laugh about it now, but it...
it really was not funny at the time.
SHE SIGHS
We are so alike, you and I.
We have exactly the same attitude to love. To life!
We break rules.
We choose pleasure. Nothing else matters.
Family? Never any use to you, were they?
Nor me, as it happens.
Apart from their money, obviously.
One can be a very merry widow indeed with enough money.
Oh, darling, don't mope.
Life is short.
Life is for living.
Mm!
SHE GASPS
CREAKING
LADY BELLASTON MOANING
LADY BELLASTON WAILS PASSIONATELY
"Esteemed cousin.
"Long estranged as we are by my youthful mistake
"in running off to wed Mr Fitzpatrick...
"..I believe you will forgive this intrusion.
"I pray that Sophia, too, will one day forgive me
"for divulging her location.
"For, madam, only her loving family can save the poor child now."
Get yourself a proper job, sonny.
DISTANT BELL RINGING
CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
I see you admire the view, Lord Fellamar.
She is exquisite, Madam. Where have you been hiding her?
Yes. My little niece has turned out well.
For a country mouse. Oh, I adore nature, don't you?
In its proper place.
My dear, you should go home.
This city, this life...
..it's not for you.
I cannot go home and marry someone I do not love.
DICE RATTLES
LADY BELLASTON: "Dear Mr Jones.
"A small token of my friendship.
"Let me see you in them tonight.
"Not the usual place, I'm bored with it.
"You shall come to my house.
"Think of it as a promotion."
Jonesy. Do you fancy the theatre tonight?
Oh! Sorry.
"Let me see you in them tonight..."
A grand lady, certainly.
Wealthy.
Possibly past her best?
No gentleman would describe her so.
Oh, and you are such a gentleman (!)
I love Miss Western, but I can't have her.
Look, what else is a man supposed to do?
It doesn't mean anything.
A spirited defence. Bit too spirited.
Doesn't sound like you at all.
The truth is, that I...
I don't know how to end it without hurting her.
Well... there's no need.
You're both getting what you want.
She's rich, you're poor. She's old, you're young.
It's a trade, and that is what this city is built on.
Miss Western? Miss Western.
Please allow me the honour of seeing you safely across the threshold.
I thank you most kindly for your concern.
But as I believe I made clear at the theatre,
I can bring myself home. Well, may I call on you tomorrow?
I am in thrall to your beauty, Miss Western.
Please don't.
I don't mean to be rude. Just... please, don't.
Right.
Home.
Mr Jones. Miss Western.
Don't touch me, I don't need propping up like some China doll.
I thought you were about to faint. I never faint!
I have something for you.
Your pocketbook and all your money.
I've kept it safe in my pocket ever since you left it in Upton.
I did.
Among other items previously precious to me.
Including any affection I ever felt for you.
I can explain. Have I asked for an explanation?
Do I care to listen to one? I do not.
Sophia, I thought I'd lost you. I thought you were married. I...
I have never seen that lady again from that day to this,
nor do I want to. Nor do I want any woman alive.
Only you.
I left my whole life behind for you.
I know.
I long to be worthy of your sacrifice.
All I have ever had to offer you is my love,
body and soul, till death do us part.
I know it's not enough.
Tom, what exactly are you doing here?
Er... Miss Western.
I thought I gave you tickets for the play?
The crowd was too many, so I came home early.
I found Mr... Smith, he has returned my pocketbook,
the one I lost, I must have told you I...
No. No, you didn't tell me that. How kind of you... Mr Smith.
Well, I am glad to find Miss Western safe with you, my lady,
after so many misdirections.
Well, I make no doubt that you, Mr Smith, are a gentleman.
And my doors are never shut to people of fashion.
You and I shall speak tomorrow.
What a delightfully interesting conversation that will be.
Such a sweet virgin and a perfect lady.
Who must now submit her maiden head
to the frightful attentions of Lord Fellamar.
SHE LAUGHS
Without ever experiencing the blissful ones of Mr Jones.
SHE SIGHS
What a frightfully tragic virgin indeed.
KNOCKING AT DOOR
Not writing to Mr Jones, I hope? He's no use to you now.
So many letters I can never send.
So many questions in my heart.
Honour... don't leave me.
Oh. There.
There.
If I've been awful to you...
You haven't. Well, not much anyway.
HE SIGHS
Such a dreadful suspicion had I when first I came into the room.
I thought, and please forgive me,
is this "Mr Smith" the infamous Mr Jones himself?
A handsome fellow, to be sure.
Didn't really notice.
Though rather garishly dressed.
To see him in such finery...
May I simply remind you that your duty is to your family?
I need no reminding.
And that your marriage bed is that family's most precious possession.
Now... A gentleman is coming.
You will receive him.
And Mr Jones will be free to learn his lessons elsewhere.
SQUIRE WESTERN SNORES A letter. A letter is come!
My cousin Harriet has written from London.
Brother!
Are you dead or what are you?
Sophia is found among the fleshpots. She must be saved!
BELL RINGS
My Lady!
Let me make one thing crystal clear, Mr Jones.
I will not share you. Do you understand?
Dear God, if you'd told me a week ago that I could stoop so low,
I would have laughed in your face. Tom, a visitor.
Who is that upon the stair? I'll send him away.
It's Miss Western's maid. She's brought a letter!
Oh, for God's sake.
What's the matter with him? Driven mad by grief.
Miss Honour, please come in.
Thank you? Just once?
I don't like you, Mr Jones, and I don't mind telling you so.
But we are fallen among thieves, sir,
and I don't know where else to turn. Well, anything I can do to help...
That Lady Bellaston is no better than she should be.
HE SNIGGERS I'm sure that's not true.
She meets mucky men at the house of her poor cousin.
She pays the woman rent for her pleasure!
Do not speak of it.
She goes there to hide her dirty ways from her servants.
But the servants speak of little else, sir.
I fear for my lady's virtue.
Here's a letter from her.
"I charge you, by all the regard you have for me, not to visit me here,
"for I am afraid Her Mucky Ladyship suspects the truth."
Miss Western didn't say mucky, obviously.
I'll do everything I can... Please help her. You...
SHE GASPS
Honour. Honour!
No! Give me her letter.
I can't do that. My reputation, my honour,
my peace of mind. Give me her letter.
The moment I give you Miss Western's letter,
I prove myself to be the opposite of a gentleman.
And you can no longer ever be sure
that your own secrets are safe with me.
Hmm. So there is a brain in that pretty little head after all.
Who'd have thought it?
Tom...
..I can't get out of all this on my own.
Undress me.
No.
No, my Lady, this is wrong.
Look, I had given up all hope of Miss Western,
but now I know that I love her.
I'll always love her.
And I... I want to be true to her.
How low you force me, Mr Jones.
So low that I am forced to admit, if I come second...
..it is enough.
What real gentleman would turn me away?
Out on our arses. The pair of us. You mark my words.
Though none of it is my fault, nor ever was.
Look, Mrs Miller, I want to assure you that
that lady who came last night... Lady?
What lady would visit a gentleman alone in his room at night?
Stay for hours?
She wept. I comforted her, that's all.
It won't happen again. No, it won't.
You will leave my home and never return.
You can send Partridge back for your bags.
Send Partridge! Like I'm your servant!
Also, "bags"! Plural! Hah!
Tom! Tom!
None of this is fair on you, I know, and I'm truly sorry.
You must wish you'd never clapped eyes on me.
Think of the adventures I'd have missed! Never fear.
Cras dies novus est, and all that.
Mrs Miller won't stay angry for long.
But she'll stay disappointed. And that's so much worse.
Where are we going to sleep tonight?
I disappoint everybody in the end.
I never saw anything so... genteel.
So... sensitive.
So polite.
I am in love with her to distraction.
THEY LAUGH
But I... Fear not.
She is an only child. An heiress.
Whose grandfather's estate is worth easily £3,000 a year.
Really? Yes.
My niece is rich in more than beauty.
Well, then I can assure you, madam,
I think her the best match in England.
Unfortunately, there is a little obstacle.
I don't want to impress him!
My Lord Fellamar is a very great gentleman.
I don't want him to like me at all. I-I just think
that you should move on, miss. Just...
And get away from your old life.
My Lady, you ask too much. There is no other way.
Do as I say, and she will have to marry you,
for word will get out of her ruin.
Madam, I prefer persuasion.
Persuasion will be a waste of your time and, more importantly, mine.
Hmmm?
Force her to your will.
Lady Bellaston has done me the honour
of agreeing on my behalf,
to ask your grandfather...
for your hand in marriage.
He won't give it.
Besides, I intend never to marry.
Don't say so!
Give me hope that love might bloom.
Sir, I cannot.
That you might volunteer your heart.
For I know not where my passion might take me, if all hope is lost.
I beg you, sir, move away. May I not breathe the air of roses?
Your natural beauty, madam, free of artifice...
Pardon me, my angel, for taking these freedoms,
but I must have you, I must save you.
Don't say no when you mean yes.
Sophia! SHE WHIMPERS
Grandfather!
You disobedient little minx. Come on. Women today!
Think you can do just as you like without a man's leave? Hah!
Here, cousin, stands the most undutiful child in the world.
Indeed, sir.
She hankers after some beggarly rascal,
when she could enjoy one of the greatest matches of all England.
Who the merry devil... This, sir, this is my Lord Fellamar,
whose hand in marriage, by your leave, and with my encouragement,
is offered to the fortunate Sophia.
A Lord, is he? Your encouragement?
I hate all lords! Now bugger off!
Your idea? All of it? Mr Western!
Your manners always were appalling!
I shan't lower the tone a moment longer, madam.
Shame on you.
Enough of your lip to your elders and betters.
And it's bread and water for you, miss, under lock and key,
until you learn obedience.
Honour! Honour!
Services no longer required.
Are we going home?
Not until you two lovebirds are safely married off.
Nobody hates London more than I do.
But we are stuck here until you can get a proper yes out of her.
CLATTER Oh, dear!
Look, I see no reason for further delay.
We could be wed tomorrow.
What, you picking her up at one end, and me the other?
Throwing her down the aisle, bodily?
You shall have the tumbling of her. Never fear!
It is my wish and in the end, she will do her duty.
But... ever heard of "wooing", Mr Blifil?
Young ladies.
They like sweet words, and big eyes.
They like to be wooed.
Just try smiling.
TOM: My Lady, I appeal to your honour. Only you can save her.
Such a gentleman you think yourself.
I know myself to be a gentleman...
I'm not in the mood.
At least by kindness and good conduct.
Far more important than class, wealth and good breeding, I agree.
Alas, the world is of a far more shallow bent and so Miss Western...
Miss Western shall be wed this very week into her own class,
and there be as miserable as every other married woman.
I am here to beg you, don't do that to her.
Look at its pretty little lip trembling.
I find I am in the mood after all.
My lady, I find I'm not.
Oh, la, everybody knows young men are always in the mood.
Whatever the situation.
And whoever the lady. Young, old, three legs.
My lady, I'm not like that at all, not really.
Please, can we talk? Talk? No, no.
No talking. Talking ruins it.
Don't frighten me. Kiss me. Don't hurt me. Tell me you love me.
Repeat until it's second nature. I can't love you.
And I can't pretend.
Sorry.
Please, you're her aunt.
Look, take care of Miss Western and ensure her safety and her happiness.
You go anywhere near her and I shall tell her exactly what we did,
you and I, and how often.
You'll break her heart.
No, YOU will!
DOOR SLAMS
LOCK RATTLES Who's there?
Breakfast? Take it away. You know I won't eat it.
Then you shall fade away and die.
And your poor, doting grandfather would die too
and be on your conscience.
See how even breakfast can be a Christian act.
Thank you, Black George.
George Seagrim never forgets his friends.
That Tom Jones, for instance. He'd do anything for you.
I'd do anything for him, I would.
Take him a letter, or...
But you don't know where he lives.
No. True.
But I do.
"Dear Mr Jones..." Morning Mr Blifil, sir.
"..by some oversight, you left a note of your London address
"in the pocketbook which you kindly returned to me.
"Should you be interested, I reside temporarily in a townhouse
"taken by my grandfather and Mr Blifil.
"I am as determined as ever that I shall not willingly marry him.
"So there is no need to come to Westminster to find me
"at 95 Cadogan Square. Cadogan, with a C."
Did I not tell you many years ago never to darken my door?
A moment's gratitude, for helping you find your granddaughter...
You made your bed. Go and lie on it. You grasping slapper.
SHE YELPS
No idea what I've done to deserve the women in this family.
It's rather thrilling, actually.
Poor Sophia is imprisoned in an upstairs chamber
like something out of a fairy tale.
First among her jailors is the suitor Mr Blifil himself.
I was surprised to find him quite a handsome young fellow.
Bring him to me.
La, my dear, you cannot mean to relieve our niece of every admirer!
He is very different to Mr Jones.
As you will see for yourself when I now present him.
Harriet! You are showing initiative.
Mr Blifil, let me see you.
Tell me, Mr Blifil,
what kind of a husband do you mean to be to my niece?
Who tends to wildness, I fear.
I mean to narrow her horizons, madam.
Oh, I'm very glad to hear it.
Discipline her ambition within the confines of the nursery,
the kitchen, and her needlework...
Her husband's desires. Whatever they may be. Very good.
Today, we are going to your rich lady friend
and you are going to put your hand out.
No arguments.
I am not going to let her give me any more money.
Why on earth not?
Bit late to come over all coy about it now,
when we're sleeping in rat-infested slums.
No, those days are gone.
We could go somewhere else?
We could go to America.
'Free as birds, the two of us.
'Nobody at home.
'Nobody waiting for a letter or kind word.
'Nobody left to disappoint.'
LOCK RATTLES
Who's there?
I am not respectable, please, give me a few moments.
SHE GASPS
Miss Western, how beautiful you look.
Oh, Mr Blifil! You must leave this instant.
Edible, like a... like a plate of sweetmeats, or a summer nosegay,
whose scent fills the room...
Oh, now, really, I have asked you to leave.
All my life, that odious, lowborn animal
has taken what rightfully belongs to me.
Belongs! I don't belong to either of you,
nor will I ever belong to any other man.
No. Get back, sir.
My own mother prefers him to me.
What is wrong with me?
Why can't you love me? Why won't you even try?
Oh, for heaven's sake, get off me! HE GRUNTS
LOCK RATTLES
It's not as if I have got a sweet whitehead or mother to worry about.
She could never have kept you.
Your mother was 15, Tom.
She and I would have ended our days in the gutter, I know.
Instead of which - look how well it's gone!
HE TITTERS
THEY LAUGH
I went to Mrs Miller's for your holey stockings
and your single shirt that used to be white.
And... there was a letter waiting.
It's from Sophia.
Hold on, hold on, let a fellow get his shoes on.
Come on, then! Damsel in distress!
But it's too late.
If I try to see her now, she will learn the very worst of me.
It will break her heart all over again. And mine.
I've had enough of London. We could just go home.
I don't know where that is any more.
SOPHIA: 'Happy endings? Only in fairy tales.
'And what difference does it make anyway,
'to the sum of human happiness,
'if I marry or not, if I am contented or miserable?
'Why did I ever think I was special?
'Why did I ever think you were?'
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