Hope you've brushed up on that German of yours, sister?
Oh, yes. Brushed, buffed and burnished, mayor.
Or should I say, gebdrstet, pol/eff, und—...
Alright, we get it.
Lawrence: We”... hold on to your hats.
Gosh.
That's... herr fischer?
Ruth: Or "herr disher," I should say.
The interview I was planning just got a lot more interesting.
Wi/lkommen be/ great slaughter, frau fisoher
on behalf of the sisters of Saint Vincent's convent.
Thank you. How very...
He chuckles
mayor heartley. Iris.
How wonderful to finally meet you in person.
Deputy mayor diggery? Hello.
Which must make you... inspector Gillespie.
Sam, please. Great to meet you, herr fischer.
Friends call me Karl!
As mayor of grob gemetzel
thank you for all your work in the twinning of our two great towns.
She gasps
they laugh
Rodney bishop, I'll go.
What? Don't look at us!
I am so sorry.
Ha—ha! Please, no fuss.
You can't make a beautiful omelette without breaking some eggs, huh?
Ah, they have it out of their system now.
So, what more can go wrong, huh?
Gavel bangs — indistinct chati'er
order!
They continue chat—fering
gavel bangs
order!
Order, please. — cha'i'i'er fades
order is in short supply in my post office.
Just clod—hopping boot prints from corner to corner!
He mumbles incoherently
exactly! — absolutely!
I can't understand a word these Russians say either.
Germans, dottie!
Mayor heartley, these visiting soldiers
they're upsetting my regulars at the spitfire.
I had to bar a couple last night.
Singing our national anthem. Drunk!
They exclaim — it's a scandal!
They clamour — order!
This meeting was called to arrange final details.
I'm not quite sure what you expect.
Something better. — Sam.
As head of twinning committee...
They're just boys away from home having some fun.
They clamour — let's give them a bit of leeway, eh.
That's easy for you to say. It ain't your pub.
I understand how you feel, bertie.
And it ain't your brother who died in the war neither!
That pub was half his!
You didn't complain when we asked to host the civic dinner there.
Look, your anti—twinning committee made its case.
We put it to vote and it passed in favour.
By one lousy vote!
With people forced to tow the party line.
In't that right, deputy?
I, uh... I may have had my doubts about this endeavour
but we must respect the Democratic process.
They grumble
this twinning is happening.
And you may not know it yet, but everyone will get something out of this.
Karl: Lederhosen! — delightful.
The traditional attire of Bavaria.
Why don't you try them on, Sam. I'm sure they'd look splendid!
Thank you, Ruth. I think that's enough photos for today.
I didn't realise we were hosting himmler himself.
Sam, I shall truly know we are friends
when you are wearing these in our honour.
And I thought, a little gift for your offices, mayor heartley?
Cuckoo clock hoots
lovely.
In return, allow us to present...
Wine... — oh, yes.
Grown and produced here in great slaughter
by our very own sister boniface.
Mdchten s/e es versuchen?
Absolut/ we all want to try!
Sister, may I say your German is most impressive.
Oh, thank you!
One doesn't like to blow one's own trompete.
I, um, translated in the war.
Were you active also in the war, mayor?
Uh, yes. I volunteered for the red cross.
What about you, Sam?
Uh, infantry.
Luftwaffe myself.
Your boys shot me down over Leeds.
I saw out the war in Eden camp.
Oh, I must say—— — must we keep talking about the war, Karl?
It's just talk, darling. — wine pours
in the morning, I thought it best we have a bit of a run—through.
A dress rehearsal before curtain up and all that.
Uh, you too, of course, general stark.
Most congenial.
Actually, my men and I wish to remain outside
during the twinning ceremony.
Ah, nonsense. We want everybody there.
Let's make a toast.
To friendship. God willing.
And how you say... no more sour grapes.
Mm, lovely.
Halt!
What you looking at, Fritz? Eh? You got a problem?
Right, Rodney bishop. If you don't do one right now...
You'll what?
I'll tell all your mates that Tom Thomas
had to fish you out of that cesspit last Christmas
when you got tipsy on your dad's cider!
I must say, I...
Admire a woman with authority.
General stark of the 15th panzer division.
Udo to my friends.
Woman police constable button.
And to your friends?
Peggy.
I sincerely hope to earn the honour of that nomenclature during my brief sojourn.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must attend a rehearsal.
And my men must Polish their weapons.
The first item I have in the running order
is the unveiling of our new joint memorial.
Herr fischer, as German mayor we hoped you would do the honours?
Ja, of course.
And may I say your town hall really is—...
I'm sorry... we do have less than an hour.
Um, Ellis, could you quickly demonstrate?
If you really can't work it out.
Single drawstring. Pull and...
Sam: The memorial to the fallen.
Ja.
Schc'jn.
It is my hope
that with this twinning we might put the...
Past behind us.
With this in mind
mayor Karl fischer now has something he wishes to unveil for us all.
They applaud
brass band plays off—key fanfare
Flippin' 'eck, what did you do? Here. Give it to me.
He screams — heavy thud
they gasp
He's dead.
They murmur
we'll need to contact his family.
I'm so glad they weren't here.
Such a terrible accident.
I don't think so.
The accident part, I mean.
Observe.
Four steel pins up there on the wall for the memorial.
But the four nuts to hold it there...
Missing.
This was rigged.
But... that means murder.
I'm afraid it's worse.
Logic suggests the intended victim...
Was Karl.
Gerrymandered for Gerry, if you like.
Someone would really do this?
Are we in danger?
Please. Don't panic.
Who else had access to the hall after the rehearsal?
The front doors were locked.
We're the only ones who get in and out.
Apart from Ellis.
And bertie bishop.
He was helping him put up the plaque this morning.
I believe they're old friends.
Herr fischer, do you have any other connections with someone here?
Any communication from someone who might bare a grudge?
He exhales deeply
no.
Sam: Are you absolutely sure?
All of you?
Um... he clears his throat
well...
Sam: "Last chance. Stop.
Just stop.
Stop.
Send kraut home or someone gets hurt. Stop."
I didn't want to cause a panic. I just thought it was some local nut job.
No addressee, surprise, surprise.
Hang on. This stamp...
This telegram was sent from right here in great slaughter.
The sender's form. No name.
It was left in my inbox.
I don't critique telegrams, inspector.
I simply send them out.
Besides...
I don't approve of this... civic union.
Neither would my cyril, god bless his dear departed soul.
Young man!
Kindly remove your grubby hands from my bon—bons!
Thank you, mrs clam.
Sam, can you tell me why Felix now appears
to have a shadow that bears a resemblance to somebody in a nun's habit?
Look, keep your conjecture out of circulation until we know more.
So it was foul play.
Sorry, Sam, but you know the interest in this thing.
The public appetite... — which is why I'm asking.
Mr noncommittal.
The lone wolf.
And yet here you are, the life and soul of this twinning.
Why is it so important to you?
Ruth, I'm asking as a friend.
She sighs
it appears our gerrymanderer had the foresight to wear gloves.
A formidable foe.
Would you mind?
Of course, sister.
Do you have something?
If by "something" you mean some kind of smudge.
It's mostly evaporated.
No, I'm going to need more than that.
There must be something, Felix.
Thank you. — you're welcome.
Sister, wait, look.
A water droplet.
Oh, bravo, Felix!
Yes, droplets.
Clear liquid, presumably the very same as was smudged up there on the wall.
Oil for loosening the nuts?
Let's see if Percy the pipette can't help us find an answer.
Hold the line.
Tools cla'iter
we may just have another caller.
One hitman's hanky.
Oh, my. It looks quite damp.
She sniffs
Sam: This is all anti—twinning correspondence?
I had no idea.
Yeah, well, I didn't want to burden the twinning committee.
What's this?
Oh, that's unrelated. It's the invoice for fitting the memorial.
Wait, a mixture of printed and cursive letters...
The loop on the bottom of the "s"...
I don't believe it. This is our match.
But it can't be... that's...
Ellis Everett.
Your threatening telegram came from the murder victim.
This is ridiculous. Are you telling me that even he was against the twinning?
I'm afraid so.
What do you want, bertie?
Just to deliver this. It's a formal signed petition
to delay the twinning indefinitely in respect of Ellis' wishes.
I'm only the messenger.
Bureaucratic bull.
He can't swan in here and demand we postpone.
Unfortunately, he can.
With this number of signatories
I'm duty—bound to put it to the council for a vote in the morning.
Please tell me you have something.
Gird those loins, I believe I may.
Sweat. And/or saliva.
Presumably produced by the killer
in the effort of rigging the bronze plate to fall.
I believe it's why we found this.
In here is a handkerchief.
Now, everything I've seen so far suggests our sweaty slayer
used it to wipe their face and neck.
Sadly, it's standard cotton. It's near impossible to trace.
So it's useless.
Oh, ye of little faith...
Smell.
Come on. Give it a jolly good snuffle.
He sniffs
what is that? He sniffs
smells kind of sweet. Fruity.
I presume it became infused with the killer's Cologne, perfume or cream.
Ergo, if I can identify precisely what, then Bob's your uncle and Fanny's your aunt.
These are the people who had access.
Bertie bishop opposes the twinning
and Lawrence diggery only voted for it under pressure.
They both have a motive.
General stark—— — not exactly chummy with Karl.
And Elsa... you can cut the tension in that marriage with a chainsaw.
So they've all got motive except for Iris heartley.
I think we need to find out more about Karl fischer.
I'll run a background check.
And I'm going to talk to an old friend from the forces.
See if the Eden camp have any records.
Until then, sister, pray.
If this vote doesn't go through, all of this will be for nothing.
Roger that.
Bystanders clamour
can you calm down! — Sam: Button, what is going on?
They are laughing in our faces, that's what.
Look.
"Raitch."
”Hache. ” it means "revenge."
Which one of you sauerkrauts did it? Eh?
Lock 'em up, pegdoll. Lock 'em all up!
You're not helping.
Right, everyone needs to go home, ok? Let us deal with this.
Go on.
I assure you, inspector, this is not the undertaking of my soldiers.
Perhaps it would help if I was seen to be assisting in some way?
Excellent idea.
Button, as of tomorrow, general stark will be assisting you.
Sir... dad'ii kill me.
That's settled then.
Well. The morning then. Wunderbar!
Most of this I got from a source I cultivated in Karl's offices.
Had a thing for feur/ge eng/isohe frauen.
Hmm?
Fiery English women.
Anyway...
Anyway, it's all here.
Marriage, finances. The elephant in the room?
Karl was penniless before he married Elsa.
Heiress to an enamelware dynasty. Old family money.
He even took her name in marriage.
Oh dear, Peggy, are you poorly?
Oh, I wish.
Mum says I have to take one if I forget my glass of orange.
S'pose I'll be off, then.
For queen and country, button!
What's this?
Eden camp. I got it from the north Yorkshire county records office.
Is that Karl?
Ruth: Ever the ladies' man. Lucky girl.
Shall we tell Elsa?
Now, why would I want to ruin a ten—year marriage of convenience?
His status, the mayorship, it's all because of her.
Uh, uh, uh. Not so fast.
What's it worth?
I'm thinking an interview. Sam Gillespie. Why this twinning is so important.
His experience of war laid bare.
Ahem. Good try.
This is now evidence, and the last thing that great slaughter needs
is reminding of the war.
Sister, you're up early.
Sister boniface: Cosmetic shopping, but that's not why I'm here.
I've got to get to the vote at the council. — yes, and the lord detests a gossip, but...
Sister reg said that nurse Mayfield heard from Mike the mechanic in the spitfire
that Lawrence diggery plans to vote against the twinning.
But... he voted "for" last time.
Under duress.
And, if memory serves, the twinning only squeezed through by a single vote.
Hmph.
The trade arrangements affect real livelihoods.
You know, one German company begged us to block the whole thing.
Said it would ruin them.
It's about more than just business though.
You were in the army, weren't you?
Royal warwickshire regiment, yes.
So was I.
Don't you want to put all that behind us?
Make amends for all the things we saw? And did?
But inspector... the person who did this is still out there.
Gavel bangs
my first time.
So... here goes.
Council, there are nine votes.
For a motion to pass, we required a majority of at least six.
Five, dottie.
Do'i'i'ie: Of course.
Five.
Silly me.
Now, as chairwoman, I shall remain entirely impartial.
So those who wish this awful twinning to proceed
please raise a hand.
One, two...
Three...
Foun" — he mumbles incoherently
a "no" from Tom.
He muti'ers
only four in favour. Is that everyone?
Last chance.
Going...
Five.
Well then, I hereby confirm.
The twinning will go ahead tomorrow.
Gavel bangs
he sighs
you're lucky I'm in a good mood
spending half my annual budget on creams and colognes.
Money well spent, I assure you. — he chuckles
although in this case none of them matches the chemical make—up of the sweat.
What?
They'll make excellent additions to the sisters' charity tombola.
So all this for nothing?
Au contraire. All this was a process of elimination.
The spectroscopy tests finally allowed me to pin down our peculiar pong.
Acetone.
I'm waiting for the punchline.
When people with a glucose deficiency run out of sugar
their body starts burning fat.
That in turn produces ketones. Now, crucially
ketones are said to have a distinctive smell, just like pear drops.
That's what I could smell. — precisely.
The smell on the hanky, that's the saliva and sweat itself.
I believe our killer has diabetes.
Gold star, sister.
But how do we determine which suspect has diabetes?
A... urine sample?
Um, yes.
He laughs
it is a joke!
Your famous British sense of humour!
I'm afraid not.
W/r hétten gehen sol/en. /ch habe es d/r gesagt.
She's saying they should have left.
We hide in fear in our hotel.
Only to be called... for this?
Icannot
I only just... went.
Yes, I'm not quite sure I can go on demand.
Perhaps we might bring a sample at our leisure?
Sorry. It has to be done here to ensure no tampering.
Karl: I'm happy to, if it's useful.
I was also there of course.
May I, uh, have a glass of water, to, uh, help?
Whatever gets the mill wheel turning. Take your time.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you in sister boniface's capable hands.
There's a blow for diplomatic relations.
They looked at me like I was taking the...
Well, come to think of it, that's exactly what I was doing.
What have you got?
While they go about their business, here is another.
The German company that Lawrence mentioned...
You remember, the one he said tried to block the twinning?
Yes, go on.
Well, he was right.
Kuckuck.
I beg your pardon?
That's its name. "Kuckuck". It's German for "cuckoo", I believe.
An old family business, they supply precision parts for cuckoo clocks.
Of course they do.
The problem is, this new trade deal means a local company here
is able to undercut them.
So, the twinning will ruin this kuckuck company.
Exactly. A family destitute.
And guess whose family?
I think it's a paint brush bristle.
Yes. Conceivably from a round—head brush.
A brush with bristles tapered for detail work.
How do you know all that?
Oh, I admit... I recurrently dabble.
In my own time.
Landscapes and such.
You see, Bavaria is a very beautiful place.
Never been abroad... I tried a curry, once.
I think you would like my hometown very much.
What's it like then?
Like a fairy—tale... With forests and mountains.
I still recognise its sublimity.
My family think me excessively fanciful
but they make the parts for clocks.
Cold... sharp...
I am no machinist.
Well, my family are all butchers.
I'm no butcher.
So we are both the little black sheep.
Quite the team.
Felix clears his throat
sergeant. Greetings.
Do you require something from me?
Actually, yes.
Actually, no.
I understand it's unorthodox.
It is an inestimable insult.
I am willing to admit that I was opposed to the twinning.
If you must know, I begged herr fischer on behalf of my family.
This was not an inconsiderable exercise for a man like me.
Perhaps you can imagine.
But herr fischer would not be turned.
He was adamant grob gemetzel be twinned with this town and nowhere else.
And why is that, general stark?
A very good question!
Regardless, I am a soldier and I follow orders
even if they run contrary to my feelings.
I had assumed, detective inspector Gillespie
that you, as a former military man, would understand this.
I do. It's why I have no choice but to ask this of you.
He seemed nice.
Do you think general stark's a wrong—un?
Well, he was right about this bristle... Horse hair.
Fine.
Probably used for detail work.
You know... I do believe there's dried paint on here as well as the red.
Oil—based.
I can see blue and... possibly green.
Can you like... scrape it off?
I reckon I could identify it.
Then I reckon this vandal messed with the wrong wpc.
Tool clati'e rs
you're sure? Yeah, alright, good chap. We'll speak then.
A development?
My friend is sending over some army documentation on Eden camp
but something came up. A name.
Where are those photos?
Whose name? — the mayor.
Your background check confirmed that she volunteered in the war, yes?
For the red cross, but we didn't know which camp.
Not Eden camp?
The very same.
The one that Karl recovered in after being shot down.
The one he spent the rest of the war at.
It is.
That's iris—bloody—heartley.
As it happens...
We were in love.
Yes.
Very much.
He was just a boy.
I nursed him, and...
Well...
I begged him to stay, but...
He knew his family would be worried about him
so, he...
Promised to come back.
Only...
He never did.
Did he hurt you?
In ways he never knew.
I was pilloried for my... entanglement.
"Sleeping with the enemy", that's what they said.
She sighs
it's the reason I came down here.
He destroyed my life...
And just marched back in to it.
And you had no idea at all?
How could I, he'd changed his name!
And now suddenly he's here, giving gifts and acting like I'll...
Fall back into his arms.
Is there any way Elsa might know about this?
That's precisely what worries me.
Sister boniface: And for our final tinkle test... frau Elsa fischer.
Verdammt/
excuse my German, but according to these tests
none of our suspects has diabetes.
He sighs perhaps you got this one wrong, sister.
Fiddlesticks and fudge, it makes no sense! There must be someone else.
We have our list of suspects.
Unless you think somehow I perpetrated the crime...
He laughs maniacally
I'll stop you there.
I was merely being facetious.
Force of habit. But one thing is clear...
She sighs we're missing something.
Unless it's being concealed from us.
It says here that Karl fischer was shot down
and he was arrested wearing the knight's cross
of the iron cross with oak leaves.
He's a war hero.
He certainly kept that quiet.
I think it's time for a drink.
You think I came here...
That I brought my wife...
To try and win Iris heartley back?
I had a heart attack last year. It was nearly the end.
And it made me think about the...
The pain I caused her.
It has haunted me.
But she never replied to a single letter.
Why didn't you tell us?
Because I didn't want Elsa to find out.
And I still don't, hm?
Elsa always feared I married her for money.
She knew there was a British girl but I promised her
she was nowhere near great slaughter.
Now you know everything.
Not quite.
The knight's cross of the iron cross with oak leaves...
That...
I was awarded the knight's cross
for my services on the night of 14th November 1940.
You flew the coventry blitz?
Churches... hospitals... Hundreds of people.
There was never any honour in that.
So... I am ashamed.
Footsteps approach
good evening, gentlemen. Oh, and Sam.
Room for e/ne k/e/ne one?
Miss penny, please sit. I was just finishing.
Sam, I'm sure you have your reasons for wanting this twinning to go ahead.
For me, that is what it means. Atonement.
I bid you goodnight, my friends.
Tomorrow, we shall be twins.
He chuckles
goodnight.
Why is this so important to you?
It is the war, isn't it? — he chuckles
you know, Karl isn't the only one I researched... 2nd lieutenant Gillespie.
Sandhurst training 1940.
First battalion, Suffolk regiment on sword beach.
Witnessed heavy losses.
Hand—to—hand combat.
A bayonet injury to your left shoulder.
I'm not one of your stories, Ruth.
Goodnight.
He clears his throat
goodnight.
Townspeople clamour
let's go home.
Whoever tried to kill you...
My love, I have to see this through.
But why? Why, Karl?
It's her, isn't it?
The girl you talked about from the war.
It's Iris.
That is why we're here.
It's not what you think.
What is going on? Where is button?
I barely saw her this morning.
All I could glean was that she and sister boniface
had some kind of paint—related breakthrough.
What?
Saint George royal red, British blue and spitfire emerald green.
Oil—based gloss paints, all ordered to 22 Langford road
which is...
The spitfire public house.
Yeah. Bertie bishop's place.
Oh look, sister. Fresh job. Red, green and blue.
If you'll indulge me, I'd say he's painted himself into a corner somewhat.
Mr bishop! We need to talk about the vandalism.
Rodney?
Townspeople clamour
Tom mumbles incoherently
ouite right, Tom! We shall not be moved.
Alright, you lot! Be reasonable.
Reasonable? Like forcing my pegdoll to work with him?
You should be ashamed. — aye.
And you can go home 'an all!
Mr bishop. Do not make me arrest you.
Arrest me? Arrest me for what?
How about malicious damage to the great slaughter war memorial?
What are you on about, that's nothing to do with me!
It was you?
You did it?
I thought... it's what you wanted. You said, "whatever it takes."
My own son?
Defacing our memorial? Lying?
I'll give you, "whatever it takes"! — please.
This is what hatred does to us.
General stark, you and your men have been falsely accused.
Peggy will write up the report
but if it was up to you, what would you do with the culprit?
Thanks for the lift, sister.
Not sure why this had to be done before the ceremony.
Well, always good to cross one's "t" s and dot one's lower—case...
"Jhs.
Vitamin c...
Most efficacious.
There they are! I lost those yesterday.
Someone's snaffled the lot! This was nearly full.
What is it, sister?
I think we'd best make haste.
I, uh... he clears his throat
I just wanted to say a few words.
I always felt the twinning...
Was important.
For grob gemetzel, yes, but also for myself, personally.
I had no agenda, Iris.
No romantic intentions.
I have found so much happiness in my life.
I just wanted the chance...
To say sorry...
To those I hurt.
That is all.
And as you know, all of us, sat here...
Experienced the suffering during the years our two countries were enemies.
I remember when I first saw your beautiful country as a prisoner
I was put to work in the fields one day, and I realised...
It's just like home...
Karl continues speech — draws cla'iter
Oh, dear.
Many of us who lived through the war have guilt
guilt we carry with us.
Always.
And so it is not for forgiveness that I am asking...
I must say I'm impressed.
You asked for a glass of water. Most clever
to use a vitamin c supplement to mask the urine test.
I thought about all the harm done...
Increasing your levels of ascorbic acid. Most ingenious.
For your sake, sister... walk away.
Now.
I'm terribly sorry, but you see, I can't.
It would fly in the face of my hastily concocted plan, which is to distract you.
Crowd gasp
no! Please!
Karl: Stay back. — Lawrence... what are you doing?
Something I messed up before. But I won't again.
Royal warwickshire regiment... You're from coventry.
Yeah, what's left of it!
For queen and country I suffered.
And when I came home...
All I found was rubble!
My mother...
My father...
My sister...
Karl fischer murdered my whole family.
And then, they gave him a medal for it!
Well, he deserves to die.
Maybe he does.
But what then?
Will you feel better?
In front of his wife? Your friends?
Standing over him, seeing him die?
You think the anger goes?
It doesn't. I promise you.
It stays and it gnaws at you. Like a wound that just won't heal.
Lawrence, I know that this man suffers every day for what he did.
Let him live with it.
Lawrence sobs
How did you know to reach him like that?
Towards the end of the war, my battalion followed a group of Germans into a forest
just outside of bremen.
I stumbled on a fox hole.
A single soldier...
And in that moment, it was him or me.
Barely had the time to pull the trigger, but I did.
When I rolled him over...
He was just a boy.
Like me.
Dying.
All I could do was hold him until the end.
Hardly the stuff of legends, eh.
I'm so sorry, Sam. I had no idea.
Bell tolls
achtung/
bell tolls
I had hoped for atonement.
However, the strength of feeling tells me it is not the time.
For that reason...
I believe there will be no twinning.
It's time we...
Simply bid auf w/edersehen.
What are you lot all so upset for? Have you forgotten what he's done?
Yes, for those of you who don't know, herr fischer killed people.
As did many of us around this memorial.
Arthur, you sank u—boats in the Navy...
And Horace, you bombed dresden.
You want to know how many lives I took?
No.
And I don't want to talk about it...
But I want to know that all that... that suffering and blood, wasn't for nothing.
That it led to... to peace, and to friendship.
I want these people to be our friends.
Townspeople clap and cheer
Well, you made it back in the end.
Apology accepted... herr fischer.
You know, you're alright.
Pegdoll, well... she could do a lot worse.
Peggy button...
I wonder if you would do me the prodigious honour of becoming my...
Pen friend?
Yeah, alright then.
Where is Sam?
I thought he wouldn't miss this for the world.
Oh, I believe Karl and Sam had a little arrangement...
Townspeople giggle — oh. Here we go.
Not a word, sister. I'll give you five minutes.
Oh, wunderbar, Sam! Come on.
I'm a dab hand at the I'andler.
No... — yes, let's slap those thighs.
They clap rhythmically