1
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,971
[dance music playing over loudspeakers]

2
00:00:19,562 --> 00:00:23,191
See? Your first night out as a single guy.

3
00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:26,277
Didn't I tell you
goin' dancin' would make you happy?

4
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,906
Isn't it great? I don't even care
that we're the oldest gays in the club.

5
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,909
-Oh shit.
-No, honey. You keep dancing.

6
00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:35,620
-We have as much right to be here--
-I think that's Colin.

7
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,500
-Well, first of all, you look fantastic.
-You really do. So hot.

8
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,627
It's not him.

9
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:43,544
Oh, thank God.

10
00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:47,715
I'm not even sure if I'm happy or not
that that wasn't him. I need a drink.

11
00:00:47,799 --> 00:00:51,094
Mikey, there's only one way
you're gonna move on from this.

12
00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:54,097
Yeah, it's been one whole week.
Enough with the wallowing.

13
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,933
Sorry. I just think
if you wanna start feelin' better,

14
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,018
you gotta pop your Colin-cherry
and get laid.

15
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:01,479
So eloquent. Sadly, I don't disagree.

16
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,525
So glad to know that you're both
on the same page about what's best for me.

17
00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:07,193
Uh, three vodka sodas, please.

18
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,362
What do you guys want?

19
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,616
Look how many guys in the club
are on Grindr right now.

20
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:16,953
You could hook up tonight and be one step
closer to your future happy Michael.

21
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:20,456
Why are they on Grindr
when they're right next to us?

22
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:22,083
That's how you meet people now.

23
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:25,378
You've been away a long time,
Rip Van Winkle.

24
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:29,090
Nice. Oh, I'm so not up for this.

25
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,716
I was late to the Grindr party,

26
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,220
but it does actually cut the chitchat
and get you down to business.

27
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:35,555
[phone alert]

28
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,141
Sorry, Claire Lewis.

29
00:01:38,224 --> 00:01:40,518
Your rich divorcée? [chuckles]

30
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,603
She typically text you after midnight?

31
00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:47,108
Ah, she's a little demanding, but I need
to keep her happy. She's my golden goose.

32
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,234
-[Stanley laughs]
-Ooh!

33
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:51,779
Twenty-something else,
less than 50 feet away, very cute.

34
00:01:51,863 --> 00:01:55,324
Billy, we are here to support our friend,
not abandon him for a hookup.

35
00:01:55,408 --> 00:01:58,411
I'm just showing him how easy it is.
Oh, he's so into me.

36
00:01:58,494 --> 00:01:59,745
[phone alert]

37
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:03,875
Claire again? Sweetie, that is not
the notification you wanna get in here.

38
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:06,127
I am not interested
in getting back in the game,

39
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,421
looking at naked selfies on my phone.

40
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:11,841
I don't want my first time to have sex
with someone after 17 years with Colin

41
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,968
to be a quick, anonymous fuck.

42
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:17,138
What are you lookin' for?
Dinner and a movie? Come on.

43
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,974
You must've fooled around with other guys
during your relationship.

44
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:23,102
Not really. I put the mono in monogamy.

45
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,061
Or monotony.

46
00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:25,855
Up top.

47
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,900
-No. No.
-If and when I'm ready to have…

48
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:31,152
To put myself out there.

49
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,738
Oh, Jesus, I can't believe
I'm even saying this.

50
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:36,240
I-- I want it to be a little special.

51
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,658
Good luck with that, sweetie.

52
00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:41,162
Nowadays, special is when they still
wanna have sex with you after you show up.

53
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:44,790
I think they're all special.
Like snowflakes. No two alike.

54
00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:48,127
You just gotta get 'em before they melt.
Don't wait up, boys.

55
00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:51,881
She can torture a metaphor,
but she always gets her man-child.

56
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:52,965
[chuckles]

57
00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:55,927
Wait, no, no, no, no.
Stay a little bit longer, please.

58
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,221
It gets lonely at night in the apartment.

59
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,223
Oh, Michael.

60
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:03,184
It gets better, you'll see.

61
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,477
What if it doesn't?

62
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:08,481
-What if I wind up bitter and alone like--
-Careful.

63
00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:11,400
-I was gonna say, "Like Claire."
-Oh!

64
00:03:11,943 --> 00:03:12,902
Yeah, so sad.

65
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:14,445
[both laugh]

66
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,530
[theme music playing]

67
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,247
[knocking at door]

68
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:31,087
-Oh, hey, Diane.
-Hello, Michael.

69
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:33,297
I just got a delivery from the drugstore,

70
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:37,093
and along with my medications,
there was also this one for Colin.

71
00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:40,680
Hmm. Must be his Propecia.
All smoke and mirrors up there.

72
00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:43,641
Oh. [chuckles]
I heard you two split up.

73
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,810
And I guess it didn't end well,

74
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,938
after seeing the way
you scratched his name off the mailbox.

75
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:49,939
Thanks, Diane.

76
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:51,607
-Can you send me--
-Bye-bye now.

77
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,194
[sighs]

78
00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:01,117
Colin's on PrEP. [scoffs]

79
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,036
So the thing he needs to figure out alone

80
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,999
is how to fuck his way across
New York City without getting a disease.

81
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:11,127
Well, I'm glad we solved that mystery.

82
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,296
Well, at least he's being responsible.

83
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:15,881
Do you really think this warrants
a look on the bright side?

84
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:17,133
Sorry. Slut!

85
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:19,093
[grunting]

86
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:23,597
Anyway, this may be
just the push I need to get off my ass

87
00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,058
and hopefully up into somebody else's.

88
00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:30,563
Say hello to Grindr's newest Grindee.

89
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,732
-Quick turnaround!
-Huh?

90
00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:34,525
Which, by the way,
you hear a lot on Grindr.

91
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,736
Here, help me pick a photo.

92
00:04:37,403 --> 00:04:38,404
Um…

93
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,489
Ooh, how about this one?
We just had it taken.

94
00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:42,658
It's our company ad.
If I crop out Suzanne…

95
00:04:42,742 --> 00:04:45,328
Mm, sorry, darling.
You're a bit ragged around the eyes.

96
00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:46,746
Suzanne looks great, though.

97
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:49,749
She should crop you out
and put it on her profile.

98
00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:51,834
-[clears throat]
-This is why you have no friends.

99
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,544
Hmm. Oh, here's a good one.

100
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,920
-Oh,
-Ooh, post that.

101
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:56,714
-Okay.
-Mm!

102
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,007
[man] Hey.

103
00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:01,260
It's not a bar stool. You need to move
so other people can use it.

104
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:05,056
I'm training him. I'm in the middle
of a session, so easy. Let's go. Six.

105
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,640
-Six.
-Come on now. Seven.

106
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:08,726
-Seven. Thanks.
-Now bend the knees. Eight.

107
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,643
Uh, eight.

108
00:05:10,895 --> 00:05:13,856
Let's check the grid.
See who in here is on the prowl.

109
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,942
-Hmm.
-Oh. Oh!

110
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,361
-He's cute.
-Mm.

111
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,196
-GreatNateEight.
-Oh!

112
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:21,947
Catchy, informative.

113
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:26,118
No Sondheim in the rhyming department,
but definitely worth a quick turnaround.

114
00:05:26,202 --> 00:05:27,578
-Nice.
-[chuckles] Text him.

115
00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:30,790
I'm actually doing this.
Okay. Okay. Okay! Here goes.

116
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,003
How long does it usually take before--

117
00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:39,965
Um…

118
00:05:40,049 --> 00:05:41,801
-I am not hating this.
-[chuckles]

119
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:48,724
Uh-oh.

120
00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:50,434
[buzzer sound]

121
00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:51,852
-What happened?
-[sighs]

122
00:05:51,936 --> 00:05:55,314
You need a dick pic. You won't get
anywhere on this without one.

123
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,817
It's like your Grindr passport photo.

124
00:05:58,401 --> 00:05:59,944
You have a dick pic?

125
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:03,239
Oh no, I believe you.
You do not have to show--

126
00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:04,657
Relax.

127
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,868
An artist I represent did it.
Something different for the people.

128
00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:08,994
[sniffs]

129
00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:11,789
What, you actually sat for that,
like Whistler's Mother?

130
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:15,084
I like the kind of men it attracts.

131
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,837
For instance,
I'll be in Rhinebeck antiquing,

132
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,880
and I'll get a tap and realize

133
00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:23,634
that we are both looking
at the same 19th-century school chair.

134
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,719
Next thing you know,
I'm face down in a barn.

135
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,847
-Great.
-Mm.

136
00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,932
Now there's two images
I can't unsee.

137
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,686
-[chuckles]
-♪ A shoe brick boy ♪

138
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:37,523
♪ On an island so folorn ♪

139
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:40,901
♪ Met a South Sea girl ♪

140
00:06:40,985 --> 00:06:44,697
♪ She was a vision of the morn… ♪

141
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:45,781
[camera clicks]

142
00:06:45,865 --> 00:06:49,076
♪ She tried to be ♪

143
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,164
♪ In her own way discreet ♪

144
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:56,375
♪ He changed all that… ♪

145
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:59,462
-[camera clicks]
-♪ When he showed her this new beat ♪

146
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,964
♪ Now what she does is a Chalypso… ♪

147
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:02,965
[camera clicks]

148
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:06,552
-Can I give you a hand with that?
-I'm good. I'm good. Sorry.

149
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:12,433
[sighs]

150
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:14,894
[sighs heavily]

151
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:21,108
[groans] Sorry I'm late. Crazy morning.

152
00:07:21,192 --> 00:07:24,195
Ugh! My girlfriend Mia and I
went out for drinks last night.

153
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,530
And not only did she meet somebody
in five minutes

154
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,866
while I ate hot wings
and played Candy Crush,

155
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,076
but I left my credit card at the bar.

156
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,245
So I had to wait for them
to open this morning.

157
00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:35,789
I didn't wanna look
like I needed a drink at eleven o'clock.

158
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,333
So I walk down the block,

159
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:40,503
and my heel gets caught in a subway grate
and snaps the fuck off.

160
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:43,881
$400 pair of SJPs
literally down the drain.

161
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:47,051
Oh my God!
My life right now is literally just…

162
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:49,470
Sorry.

163
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,265
How are you?

164
00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:55,267
That's okay. I know you liked it better

165
00:07:55,351 --> 00:07:58,312
when you were the disaster,
and I was the boring, old married guy.

166
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,271
I really did.

167
00:07:59,355 --> 00:08:00,689
-Me too.
-[sighs]

168
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:05,152
I've been working on the figures
for Claire Lewis's broker's open.

169
00:08:05,236 --> 00:08:06,695
This listing is so next-level,

170
00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:11,075
and given my reduced circumstances,
I really need this commission.

171
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:14,036
This event can't look cheap.
We're gonna have to spend some money.

172
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,956
-[groans] We've gotta sell this bitch.
-[phone vibrating]

173
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:20,000
I can feel my Amex card begging me
to put it out of its misery.

174
00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,627
[sweetly] Suzanne Prentiss.

175
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:29,802
So congrats on poaching Claire.
Heard you had to reduce your commission.

176
00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:31,178
[groans, chuckles]

177
00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:33,514
Yeah, well, it's still
a fuckload of money.

178
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,307
Well, I hope it's worth it.

179
00:08:35,391 --> 00:08:38,978
I almost didn't have the energy
to deal with her. And I'm young. [laughs]

180
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:43,399
I'll be fine, Tyler.
We've actually made a genuine connection.

181
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:46,694
Oh, right. The whole parallel
lives falling apart thing.

182
00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:49,947
I can see it's really taking its toll.

183
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,116
[chuckles]

184
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,786
Honey, our luck has just changed.

185
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,663
[squeals] We have a new client.

186
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,081
Paolo Forella,

187
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:03,085
a big Italian furniture importer
in from Rome tomorrow for one day,

188
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:06,130
and he needs to lock down a pied-à-terre
in the two million range,

189
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,841
and he wants us
to put together a multiple showing.

190
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:11,010
That's great. Who referred us?

191
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:13,262
No one. He said
he picked us from our picture.

192
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,180
I told you those photos would pay off.

193
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,349
Only you look good in this picture.

194
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,560
I look ragged.

195
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:23,439
[gasps] Oh my-- oh my God. He is so hot.

196
00:09:24,023 --> 00:09:25,482
Oh-ho-ho!

197
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,943
Recently divorced. Check.

198
00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:29,903
Two grown kids. Check.

199
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:33,782
Residences in Rome and Positano.
Check! Check!

200
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,242
Oh-ho-ho!

201
00:09:35,326 --> 00:09:38,621
Paolo, mi amor. Molto bello.

202
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:41,790
Why did I eat all those fucking wings?

203
00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:42,750
He's okay.

204
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:45,669
Do you think I should get my eyes done?

205
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:50,841
[sighs]

206
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,926
[sighs]

207
00:09:58,182 --> 00:09:59,433
[Netflix ident tune plays]

208
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:03,646
No. Delete, delete. He's not watching!
He's not watching!

209
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:04,730
[incoming call alert]

210
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:05,814
[sighs]

211
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,150
What up, Mikey?

212
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,987
I'm just eatin' Chinese
and missing fucking Colin.

213
00:10:12,071 --> 00:10:16,033
Aww. Sorry, baby.
But Stanley told me you're on Grindr.

214
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,702
So pants off to you. What's your handle?

215
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:23,457
I haven't thought about it.
How about MikeNewToThis?

216
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:27,211
Because you're a young Amish boy who
just arrived in the big bad city? [scoffs]

217
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,672
Gina, get under my eyes.
I had a very late night.

218
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:31,423
You need somethin' sexy,

219
00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:35,719
like HungAlphaJock or NineHardForYou.

220
00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,097
Which, memory serves,
is a bit of an exaggeration,

221
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,973
but nobody's coming in with a ruler.

222
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:43,185
Jesus, your makeup lady is right there.

223
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,104
How about PiggyWantACumHole?

224
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:46,313
[giggles]

225
00:10:46,397 --> 00:10:47,523
Oh my God.

226
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,275
Gina's seen it all.
She used to do Charlie Rose.

227
00:10:50,359 --> 00:10:53,737
Look, all I'm saying is make sure
you pick something that says you're DTF.

228
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,156
AthleticTop?

229
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,616
Sounds like a sports bra.

230
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,703
From personal experience,
wouldn't AthleticVers be more accurate?

231
00:11:00,786 --> 00:11:01,829
Okay. You know what?

232
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:05,374
One hookup, 25 years ago, Billy.
People change.

233
00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:08,419
Don't you have to mispredict the weather?

234
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:11,004
Sweetie, I just look pretty
and read the shit.

235
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:15,134
Look, you know what?
Ooh. I'm gonna go with NewHotMike.

236
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:16,635
[alert chimes]

237
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,721
-Oh! I have a message waiting.
-[Billy] There you go.

238
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,013
Message back.

239
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:23,851
[alert chimes]

240
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,894
-[Billy] What'd he say?
-It's a pic.

241
00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:29,857
But I can't really tell what it is.
Oh my God! It's a butthole. Classy.

242
00:11:30,441 --> 00:11:32,234
-[Gina] Ah!
-[chuckles]

243
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,445
-Welcome to Grindr, NewHotMike.
-[door opens]

244
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:37,114
-[man] On set in five.
-Oh, I'm on. I love you.

245
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,741
You too.

246
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,080
[sighs]

247
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:50,919
Claire?

248
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:52,546
[Claire] Up here.

249
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:04,808
Oh my God.

250
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,103
How did this happen?

251
00:12:10,606 --> 00:12:11,899
I had a moment.

252
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,778
You did this? Why?

253
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:17,529
My hus--

254
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,325
My ex-husband went to visit our daughter,

255
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:25,579
sorry, our kid, at Brown this weekend,

256
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:30,626
and brought his whore, gold-digging
girlfriend along to meet them.

257
00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:33,128
As you can see, I didn't take it well.

258
00:12:34,213 --> 00:12:36,632
I'm… so sorry.

259
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,761
This used to be his favorite room.

260
00:12:41,512 --> 00:12:46,058
[chuckles] It still has so many
of his most treasured possessions.

261
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:50,020
Had. I'll show you a fucking hole in one.

262
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,438
-Oh!
-[screams]

263
00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:52,689
[grunting]

264
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,191
[Michael] Okay. Oh--

265
00:12:58,237 --> 00:13:00,697
-[sighs] Would you like a drink?
-Yes, please.

266
00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:07,788
Vodka all right?

267
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:08,705
Sure.

268
00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:13,043
So, obviously we'll need to postpone
the broker's open

269
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,545
till we can deal with all this,

270
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:18,382
but moving forward, don't you have
anyone you can vent to about this

271
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:22,803
so we can avoid a, you know,
future gut renovation?

272
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:24,429
Yeah.

273
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:26,014
Oh.

274
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:27,641
Me. [chuckles]

275
00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,854
-Have a seat.
-Sure, yeah. Let's… Uh, sure.

276
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,148
I'll sit right here in Beirut.

277
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:38,694
And why not? Our lives are in ruins.

278
00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:42,406
I think my apartment
would look exactly like this

279
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,576
if I didn't have
a great support system of friends.

280
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,078
They've been helping me through a lot,

281
00:13:48,579 --> 00:13:51,707
forcing me to put myself out there.

282
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,167
You know, to try to somehow move on.

283
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:57,421
Most of my so-called friends
went with Henry.

284
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,882
Half of them even knew about the affair.

285
00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:04,428
In a split like mine,
people follow the money and the access.

286
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:07,598
He's even gotten my children
to see his side! [growls]

287
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:11,518
It's dead, Claire! You can quit trying
to murder it. The room is already dead.

288
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,020
[sighs]

289
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,397
Why do you even have a sledgehammer?

290
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,482
Well, I didn't until this evening.

291
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,610
Amazon Prime, same-day delivery.

292
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:20,903
Oh.

293
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,864
Really should think
about a three-day waiting period.

294
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,910
You know, until this happened,
the divorce, I mean…

295
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:36,168
I never would have considered myself
a person capable of actual rage.

296
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:37,878
But look around.

297
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:38,962
[chuckles]

298
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,924
That is exactly what I feel
most of the time.

299
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:48,096
All I can afford to destroy is
a Tiffany-framed picture of us.

300
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,016
Deeply unsatisfying.

301
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,060
-I should have just ripped up the photo.
-[laughs]

302
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:57,230
Oh, it would've been so much easier
if he had just died.

303
00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:02,778
Making funeral arrangements,
choosing what I would wear to the funeral,

304
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,571
having people over after the funeral.

305
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:08,533
All of those activities
seem fun compared to this.

306
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:13,413
He's off in another life,
and I'm stuck in the one he's left behind.

307
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:14,957
I know.

308
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,585
But maybe not for long.

309
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,630
I hope not for long.

310
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:26,343
Thank you for coming over tonight.

311
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,389
This has helped. Talking to you.

312
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:34,893
Mm. Even if our friendship
is commission-based. [chuckles]

313
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,144
Glad to be here.

314
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:43,694
So you're done hobbling the apartment,
Annie Wilkes from Misery,

315
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,779
or do I need to take this with me?

316
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,781
[laughs]

317
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:48,949
You should take it.

318
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:51,952
[upbeat jazz playing]

319
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:54,705
Hey.

320
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,040
[clears throat]

321
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,793
Really? It's a showing, Suzanne,

322
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:02,379
not ladies drink free night
at the Lizard Lounge.

323
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:03,839
Too much?

324
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:06,758
Only if you're not expecting cash
on the nightstand later.

325
00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:10,470
Oh. Perfect. If you think it's a little
slutty, then I'm in the right area.

326
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:14,099
And what is goin' on with you?
You look tired, like in our photo.

327
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:15,308
Ugh, I didn't get much sleep.

328
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,269
Claire had a meltdown
in the middle of the night.

329
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,937
I had to go over. It was a whole thing.

330
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:22,315
[sighs] Wow. Those are some seriously
blurry boundaries.

331
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:25,944
Be careful. Mixing business
with your personal life is a huge mistake.

332
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:26,903
Oh! There he is.

333
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,448
Paolo Forella.

334
00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,700
-Ciao, Paolo. Suzanne Prentiss.
-Ciao.

335
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,827
-How lovely to meet you.
-Pleasure.

336
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,621
Hi. Michael Lawson. Shall we?

337
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:37,956
-[Paolo] Sure.
-[laughs]

338
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:44,838
Prime location, spectacular views.

339
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,007
Three terraces. Come on.

340
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:49,009
Lots of light. Wow.

341
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:52,846
[sighs] Uh…

342
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,766
I'm sorry, but it feels
a little corporate.

343
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:59,144
Oh, well, that's the trouble
with new construction. No soul.

344
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,645
Not like in Rome,

345
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:04,483
with those wonderful buildings
still standing after centuries.

346
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,818
-You've been to Roma?
-[laughs] Sì.

347
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:10,864
Oh! Loved. I backpacked
all through Europe after college

348
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:14,993
and just spent one whole day
just sitting in the Colosseum.

349
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,995
-Yeah.
-[laughs]

350
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,915
Yeah, it was back when they were still
feeding Christians to the lions.

351
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,084
-[forced laughter] So funny.
-[chuckles]

352
00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:23,126
-Ju--
-Ah.

353
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:27,798
Michael can only make that joke because
Suzanna is so young and-- and beautiful.

354
00:17:28,507 --> 00:17:29,341
[Suzanne] Aww!

355
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:30,759
[gasps, chuckles]

356
00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:35,138
Sorry, but-- but this apartment,
it-- it is not for me.

357
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,767
And because of time, please, can you
show me the photo of the rest of them?

358
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:41,436
-[Suzanne] Oh--
-Then we can only go to the one I choose.

359
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,979
-Great idea.
-[Suzanne clears throat]

360
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,649
[Michael] Ah! Okay,
so this is a two-bedroom, two-bath

361
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,150
with a large terrace in Turtle Bay.

362
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,237
-Turtle Bay? Grazie, no.
-[Suzanne] Oh.

363
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,406
Okay, well, this next one, it--
it is on the hill.

364
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:54,741
Um… Ahem.

365
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:58,203
It's, uh, newly renovated,
three bedrooms, high floor.

366
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,288
-Yeah, I like this one. Let's see it.
-[phone rings]

367
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:03,792
-Great.
-Scusi. I gotta take this, sorry.

368
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,168
Sure. [chuckles]

369
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:08,171
-What the fuck with the dick pics?
-It was for my Grindr profile.

370
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,507
I must have mistakenly saved it
into the wrong folder.

371
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,050
-What are we gonna do?
-I don't know.

372
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,426
-Oh my God.
-Okay, wait, wait.

373
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,387
It went by pretty fast.
Maybe he didn't notice.

374
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,181
-Just pretend it never happened.
-Okay. Good. Yeah.

375
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,141
[Paolo] Ready?

376
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:22,310
Oh! We're calling a car, Paolo. [chuckles]

377
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:24,813
I know you're
on a pretty tight cock. Clock!

378
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:31,236
Okay.

379
00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,532
-Bravo. I love that apartment.
-[laughs]

380
00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:39,035
-Oh!
-And I love this street.

381
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,621
It feels already like home.
I hope they accept my offer.

382
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:43,415
Oh… [laughs]

383
00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:46,960
I have a very good feeling about this.
Thank you.

384
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:55,719
[chuckles] You know, Paolo, this is one
of the great New York neighborhoods.

385
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,221
Il Cantinori,
my favorite Italian restaurant,

386
00:18:58,305 --> 00:18:59,890
is right around the corner.

387
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:03,143
You must let me take you there
once we close.

388
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:06,855
Perhaps I can cook you
a real Italian dinner at my new apartment.

389
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,523
-Oh! I would love that.
-[phone alert]

390
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:09,649
-[phone alert]
-[chuckles]

391
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:16,823
And, um, Paolo, if there's anything
that you need before you move in,

392
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:21,703
I would be more than happy
to, uh… move some boxes for you.

393
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:25,749
And my interior design, from what I hear,

394
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:29,211
I mean, that's what they tell me,
is just a gift.

395
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:30,462
It's a real gift.

396
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,297
I mean, from the top to the bottom.

397
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,550
Okay, the very bottom is so-- [laughs]

398
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:38,511
And I'm really good with wood.

399
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,347
I mean, so good with wood.

400
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,850
I mean, like, how much wood
would a woodchuck chuck?

401
00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:45,769
I know, 'cause I can chuck it.

402
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,604
[laughing]

403
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:48,563
So…

404
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,441
So you just let me know, okay?

405
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,444
Hey, why don't we have a drink
at the hotel bar

406
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,489
to celebrate finding the perfect apartment
in one day?

407
00:19:57,572 --> 00:20:01,076
I wish I could, but I have calls to make
and a very early flight back.

408
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,535
Oh, okay.

409
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,374
Ciao, bella. It was a delight
to spend the day with you.

410
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,500
Oh!

411
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,043
Michael.

412
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:12,921
-Ciao.
-Ciao.

413
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,839
Ciao. Ciao.

414
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:15,924
God damn it.

415
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:21,346
[sighs] Well, I guess it's for the best,
right? Client and all.

416
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:25,141
Yeah. You know, I only live a couple
of blocks away, and it's nice outside.

417
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,685
-I'm just gonna walk.
-Uh-huh.

418
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,687
[phone rings]

419
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,147
Hey, Kai. Yeah, I'm on my way home.

420
00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:33,733
Want me to pick up dinner?

421
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:38,530
I don't know. I've been in the mood
for Italian all day.

422
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:40,615
Damn!

423
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,701
Entrare. Come in.

424
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:45,120
[sighs]

425
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:48,707
This is crazy on so many levels.

426
00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,002
I don't fool around like this in Italy.

427
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,629
But in New York,
I like to have a little fun.

428
00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:58,550
Especially with a hot all-American
like you.

429
00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:07,100
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just…

430
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:11,438
I just got out of a 17-year relationship
really, like, just last week,

431
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:13,857
and I haven't been with anyone else yet.

432
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:16,401
I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

433
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,778
-It's okay. I understand.
-All right.

434
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:21,156
We can go down to the bar
and have a drink.

435
00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,198
That…

436
00:21:22,866 --> 00:21:24,326
Let me just change my shirt.

437
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:28,747
[gasps]

438
00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:30,206
Yeah, I'm ready.

439
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,875
♪ I quit the race ♪

440
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,461
♪ 'Cause I'd rather ♪

441
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,171
♪ Dance in place ♪

442
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,256
♪ On my own ♪

443
00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:40,175
♪ I quit the race ♪

444
00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:42,886
♪ 'Cause I'm better ♪

445
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,596
♪ Changin' pace ♪

446
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:46,931
♪ As I go ♪

447
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:48,892
♪ I quit the race ♪

448
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:51,478
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

449
00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:53,104
♪ I quit the race ♪

450
00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:55,648
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

451
00:21:55,732 --> 00:21:57,233
♪ I quit the race ♪

452
00:21:57,317 --> 00:22:00,820
I wish I smoked.
I would totally smoke right now.

453
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:02,864
It's a non-smoking room.

454
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,325
No, I wouldn't really smoke. Eww!

455
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:11,706
I mean, I just feel like I should
mark this moment with something… new,

456
00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:13,333
something I haven't done before.

457
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:16,252
Isn't this something
you haven't done before?

458
00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:18,296
[chuckles]

459
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:19,422
I guess it is.

460
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:23,385
It's kind of how I imagined it, too,
the first time.

461
00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:26,096
-Well, I'm honored.
-Mm!

462
00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:28,598
I wasn't sure if you were into me.

463
00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:32,310
-Then, you show me a dick pic. It was--
-Oh my God.

464
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:35,313
That was so embarrassing.
I was hoping you hadn't noticed.

465
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,899
-You didn't mean for me to see it?
-No! Are you kidding?

466
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,275
-No!
-Oh! Mamma mia.

467
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:40,777
-What?
-[both laugh]

468
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,656
I took it really fast 'cause my friends
said I had to have one on Grindr,

469
00:22:44,739 --> 00:22:46,950
-which I just got on yesterday.
-Mm.

470
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,869
So, jackpot, by the way.

471
00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:53,665
Molto gentile.

472
00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:54,833
-[laughs] Mm!
-Mm!

473
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:58,002
Actually, the photo doesn't do it justice.

474
00:22:58,753 --> 00:23:01,214
-It's much better in person.
-Oh, thank you.

475
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:04,342
Thank you.
It's been a bit of a recluse lately,

476
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:07,929
so I'm not really sure
how it's gonna do out in the world.

477
00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:10,348
Plus, I'd never taken a dick pic,
so I had no idea--

478
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:11,766
I can take it for you.

479
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,769
I can light it at the perfect angle.

480
00:23:14,853 --> 00:23:17,647
I will send you to the Grindr-verse
with a pic…

481
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,441
[sighs]

482
00:23:19,524 --> 00:23:22,485
…I call worthy of such a beautiful dick.

483
00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:24,904
-You're amazing.
-[sighs]

484
00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:28,324
Okay. Might have to wait a little bit
before it gets hard again, but--

485
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:29,409
Mm-hmm?

486
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,537
It's not… It's…

487
00:23:34,831 --> 00:23:36,040
[gasps]

488
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:40,044
Oh, well, that's a new personal best.

489
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:41,546
[laughs]

490
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:49,471
["Magicalove" by Isaac Delusion]

491
00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:52,390
[sighs]

492
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,483
♪ There's no ♪

493
00:24:02,317 --> 00:24:05,403
♪ Magical love ♪

494
00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:09,949
♪ Any way without you ♪

495
00:24:11,451 --> 00:24:14,078
♪ Any way without you, baby ♪

496
00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:15,079
So glad you stopped by.

497
00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:16,915
Our pleasure. Thanks for inviting us.

498
00:24:16,998 --> 00:24:18,666
-Really interesting stuff.
-Mm.

499
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:20,460
-Oh, I just gotta lock up in back.
-Okay.

500
00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,795
[laughing] But I'll see you again soon,
I hope!

501
00:24:25,423 --> 00:24:27,842
Oh my God. Kurt, Stephanie, hi.

502
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:29,969
-So good to see you.
-Kurt! Hi!

503
00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:31,221
Hi.

504
00:24:31,304 --> 00:24:33,306
-So sorry to hear about you guys.
-Ah…

505
00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:36,684
We were gonna reach out. Even though,
technically, we're Colin's friends,

506
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:38,228
obviously, we care about you too.

507
00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:40,480
Oh, I know. Thank you.
What brings you to the gallery?

508
00:24:40,563 --> 00:24:43,900
Oh, Stanley mentioned the show to us,
and thought we might like the artist.

509
00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:46,736
I didn't know you knew Stanley.
Did you meet at Colin's 50th?

510
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:50,365
Yes, and then we saw each other again
last night at Colin's new apartment.

511
00:24:50,448 --> 00:24:51,574
He had a little dinner party.

512
00:24:55,370 --> 00:24:58,414
-Anyway, it's really good to see you.
-Take care, Mike.

513
00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:00,542
Yeah, yeah.

514
00:25:00,625 --> 00:25:01,543
[scoffs]

515
00:25:02,794 --> 00:25:05,004
Michael, I was gonna tell you.

516
00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:06,089
Tell me what?

517
00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:10,593
That you went to a fucking
dinner party at his new apartment?

518
00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:14,806
That he made
his special linguine alle vongole,

519
00:25:14,889 --> 00:25:17,725
which I'm sure he served
in the Williams-Sonoma pasta bowls,

520
00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:18,726
which I bought,

521
00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:21,229
and in what is becoming
a daily occurrence,

522
00:25:21,312 --> 00:25:22,897
just realized are gone?

523
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,191
How could you do that, Stanley?

524
00:25:25,858 --> 00:25:27,860
-He reached out, so I--
-No!

525
00:25:27,944 --> 00:25:29,946
No. He does not get to reach out.

526
00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:33,700
He has lost all reaching out privileges,
which you should have told him,

527
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:36,077
or, better yet, not reached back.

528
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,745
Just ghosted him, like he did me.

529
00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:38,997
Michael, please.

530
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,249
I've known him all these years.

531
00:25:43,835 --> 00:25:46,004
I just wanted to find out his side.

532
00:25:46,087 --> 00:25:47,714
His side?

533
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:51,509
His side is that he is a sociopath

534
00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:55,805
who walked out on a 17-year relationship
without telling me.

535
00:25:57,432 --> 00:25:59,017
You're supposed to be my friend.

536
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:03,187
And Colin, despite his dinner parties
and his fucking reaching out,

537
00:26:03,271 --> 00:26:04,772
is a very bad person.

538
00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:08,276
Or maybe he's a good person
who did a very bad thing.

539
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:09,527
To me!

540
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:13,281
He did a very bad thing to me,
your friend.

541
00:26:13,364 --> 00:26:15,158
You don't get to have pasta with him

542
00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:18,995
a week after he told me it was over
in a text!

543
00:26:20,747 --> 00:26:22,290
It actually wasn't pasta.

544
00:26:22,790 --> 00:26:25,168
I can't believe I'm even
having this conversation with you.

545
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:27,503
It's not a conversation.
You're not letting me--

546
00:26:27,587 --> 00:26:30,590
You can't be friends with both of us,
Stanley. You have to pick.

547
00:26:31,174 --> 00:26:34,969
Uh-- Of course I'm your friend first, but…

548
00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:38,723
I shouldn't have to pick.

549
00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:41,643
[scoffs]

550
00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:44,270
You just did.

551
00:26:46,314 --> 00:26:47,523
[Stanley sighs] Uh--

552
00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:53,112
[sighs]

553
00:26:53,196 --> 00:26:56,366
[intense jazzy music playing]