1 00:00:01,083 --> 00:00:03,292 BYRON: Previously, on Black Cake... 2 00:00:03,292 --> 00:00:05,292 ELEANOR: London wasn't exactly safe, 3 00:00:05,292 --> 00:00:07,250 but it was the devil I knew. 4 00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:09,083 I could blend in. 5 00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:13,000 Until I realized that the longer you go without being seen, 6 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,667 the smaller and smaller you become. 7 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:18,292 Until you all but disappear. 8 00:00:18,292 --> 00:00:22,375 B and B... you have a sister. 9 00:00:22,375 --> 00:00:26,708 A secret I couldn't bring myself to even share with your father. 10 00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:30,625 - Your mum, did she mention my birth father in the recordings? 11 00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:33,917 - She was assaulted... 12 00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:37,083 by her employer around the time you were born. 13 00:00:39,125 --> 00:00:40,125 - Assaulted? 14 00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:44,042 ELEANOR [on recording]: Mabel, my first born. 15 00:00:45,042 --> 00:00:50,000 The moment I held you, I knew I wanted to be your mother. 16 00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:55,875 But by that point, it was too late. 17 00:00:55,875 --> 00:01:00,750 Because the truth is, I didn't choose to let you go. 18 00:01:03,958 --> 00:01:06,208 You were taken from me. 19 00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:20,625 ELEANOR: By the time I left Scotland, 20 00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:22,417 I was in a daze. 21 00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:25,000 ♪ dramatic music playing ♪ 22 00:01:29,542 --> 00:01:33,417 Trying so hard to block out everything that had happened. 23 00:01:33,417 --> 00:01:36,875 ♪ 24 00:01:38,708 --> 00:01:44,167 I told you before that I ran into Gibbs when I got back to London, 25 00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:47,292 but in truth, 26 00:01:49,167 --> 00:01:52,333 it was nearly a year before that happened. 27 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:58,875 And those first few weeks back just seemed to slip away. 28 00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:01,292 [indistinct chatter] 29 00:02:02,042 --> 00:02:05,500 ELEANOR: Up until I started feeling sick. 30 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,583 - You don't have the flu, Ms. Douglas. 31 00:02:11,417 --> 00:02:12,958 - Oh, that's a relief. 32 00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:15,167 - The nausea, the fatigue, the dizziness, 33 00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:17,667 these are all classic symptoms of early pregnancy. 34 00:02:21,292 --> 00:02:23,708 I take it this isn't the news you were expecting. 35 00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:28,167 Do you remember when your last menstrual period began? 36 00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:31,042 - I don't know. 37 00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,000 Two months ago maybe. 38 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000 - And you didn't think to come in earlier for an exam? 39 00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:40,625 Do you know who the father is? 40 00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:46,750 - I was working in Scotland 41 00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:51,083 when my supervisor took advantage. 42 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,708 That's the only time it could've happened. 43 00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:54,250 DOCTOR: I see. 44 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:57,250 Well, young ladies these days are so liberated, 45 00:02:57,250 --> 00:03:00,208 it's no great wonder when these predicaments come about. 46 00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:03,083 Do you have any family nearby? 47 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,333 Anyone you can ask for help? 48 00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:08,333 - No, I'm on my own. 49 00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:10,667 - What about employment? 50 00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:13,667 Do you have a means of supporting a child? 51 00:03:16,417 --> 00:03:19,125 - I haven't been able to find any work since returning to London. 52 00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:22,417 DOCTOR: Well, 53 00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:26,292 the good news is you have options nowadays. 54 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,333 If you choose to terminate, 55 00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,417 it's quite safe and perfectly lawful. 56 00:03:31,417 --> 00:03:33,625 I can provide you with a referral if you like. 57 00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:38,042 ♪ 58 00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:40,833 - I'm sorry, I-I just need-- 59 00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:42,917 I need some time to think. 60 00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:43,917 DOCTOR: Of course. 61 00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:45,250 Although you mustn't wait too long. 62 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,917 Time is of the essence. 63 00:03:47,917 --> 00:03:48,792 Now, 64 00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:50,625 good luck to you. 65 00:03:54,042 --> 00:03:55,042 [door closes] 66 00:03:55,042 --> 00:03:57,917 ♪ 67 00:03:57,917 --> 00:03:58,917 ELEANOR: Back then, 68 00:03:58,917 --> 00:04:02,292 there weren't many housing options for people of color, 69 00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,667 and I couldn't go back to the boarding house 70 00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,167 with the island girls. 71 00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:10,000 I was dead. 72 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:15,125 So I found a place where I wouldn't be recognized. 73 00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:17,417 [indistinct chatter] 74 00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,958 [indistinct arguments in Mandarin] 75 00:04:20,958 --> 00:04:22,417 ELEANOR: I had no plan 76 00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:24,875 and no support. 77 00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:28,417 [indistinct arguments continue] 78 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,875 ELEANOR: I just kept wishing that this thing, 79 00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:41,458 this problem, 80 00:04:43,708 --> 00:04:46,583 would somehow... disappear. 81 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,250 And I had learned long before 82 00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,458 that I was on my own. 83 00:04:57,458 --> 00:05:00,458 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 84 00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:10,875 [knock on door] 85 00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:30,792 PEARL: I know you're still angry at me, Covey. 86 00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:32,750 Believe me, 87 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,875 baking a cake for a wedding, 88 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,750 like this, 89 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,083 for you, 90 00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:41,833 it's not what I ever wanted. 91 00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:43,250 - I know Pa made you do it. 92 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:47,208 I just wanna be left alone. 93 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,417 - Here. 94 00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:53,583 I brought you something. 95 00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:57,125 From your mother. 96 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,292 ♪ 97 00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,792 When she left the island, her plan was to come back for you. 98 00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:08,083 But she asked me to hold onto this just in case. 99 00:06:09,625 --> 00:06:11,708 So you'd always have a piece of her. 100 00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,333 - A part of me was hoping maybe she'd 101 00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:20,625 [sharp inhale] show up today, 102 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,917 somehow fix all of this. 103 00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:28,583 - She would be here if she could. 104 00:06:28,583 --> 00:06:29,583 I know-- - Stop. 105 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,125 If she ever really cared about me, 106 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,208 she never would've left me in the first place. 107 00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,792 I don't want nothing from her. 108 00:06:35,792 --> 00:06:37,375 She's not gonna save me now. 109 00:06:38,417 --> 00:06:39,625 And neither is my pa. 110 00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:43,792 And neither are you. So please... just go away. 111 00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:04,750 [Covey sniffs] 112 00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:12,125 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 113 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,875 ♪ 114 00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:32,667 [distant indistinct chatter] 115 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,875 ELEANOR: I needed to make a decision. 116 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,625 [distant banging] 117 00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:43,875 But I could hardly even hear myself think. 118 00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:55,208 And I found myself begging for some kind of answer 119 00:07:56,833 --> 00:07:57,833 or sign. 120 00:07:58,417 --> 00:08:01,417 [church bell tolling] 121 00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:16,208 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 122 00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:19,208 [church bell continues tolling] 123 00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:27,792 ♪ 124 00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:58,667 [breathing shakily] 125 00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:10,208 [crying] 126 00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:16,083 - Hello, child. Can I help you? 127 00:09:16,083 --> 00:09:18,500 - I'm-- I'm sorry. I-Is the church closed? 128 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,833 - No. No. 129 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,958 You seem upset, dear. 130 00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:24,667 May I help? 131 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:25,958 [Covey sniffling] 132 00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:28,708 [crying] 133 00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:32,958 - That's okay. Let it all out. 134 00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:36,000 - You have no idea how long it's been 135 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,458 since anyone has said anything genuinely kind to me, 136 00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:42,417 [sniffles] let alone someone from the island. 137 00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:46,458 - Are you in trouble? 138 00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:50,083 Are you in the family way? 139 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,083 Well, you've come to the right place. 140 00:09:57,208 --> 00:10:00,708 Now, when was the last time you had anything to eat? 141 00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:05,667 [sniffling] 142 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,917 NUN: Church runs this place especially for unwed mothers. 143 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,375 So you can take comfort knowing that you're not alone. 144 00:10:21,292 --> 00:10:23,333 We offer room and board free of charge. 145 00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,042 And when the time has come, 146 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,792 we'll help to place the child into a loving home. 147 00:10:27,792 --> 00:10:30,458 So you won't have a thing to worry about. 148 00:10:30,458 --> 00:10:31,875 How does that sound to you? 149 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,042 - Better than I could've hoped for. 150 00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:36,292 Thank you. 151 00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:39,667 - Normally, we would sit down for an intake first, 152 00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:42,792 but since it's late, we can save that for the morning. 153 00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:48,375 For now, I would like to introduce you to the other ladies. 154 00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:51,375 [indistinct chatter] 155 00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:54,167 - Quiet, girls. 156 00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,875 - Hello, everyone. This is Eleanor. 157 00:10:56,875 --> 00:10:58,833 She'll be joining us here for now, 158 00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,792 and I trust that you'll make her feel right at home. 159 00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:03,667 [all greeting Covey] 160 00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:05,667 - Sister Madeline, may I help Eleanor get a plate? 161 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,167 - Yes, you may. Thank you, dear. 162 00:11:11,542 --> 00:11:12,542 - I'm Irene. 163 00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:15,833 How do you feel about beef stew? 164 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:18,000 [group chattering] 165 00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:22,375 - Well, to be honest, I haven't been able to keep much down lately. 166 00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:25,583 - The first few weeks, I could only eat cheese and Marmite sandwiches. 167 00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:29,208 In fact, I just about ate my weight in cheese and Marmite sandwiches. 168 00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:32,083 How about some plain broth with bread and butter? 169 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,875 That ought to settle your stomach. 170 00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:36,167 - Sounds perfect. 171 00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:38,875 - So how far along are you? 172 00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:43,292 - Almost three months, I think. 173 00:11:43,292 --> 00:11:46,292 - I'm just a little further than you, so we'll be due around the same time. 174 00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:47,792 How fun. 175 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,250 Are you still with the baby's father? 176 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,500 Don't worry. 177 00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:56,875 Most of the girls here are in the same boat as you. 178 00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,708 I'm one of the lucky ones. 179 00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:03,792 My boyfriend, Tommy, and I have been going together for almost two years now. 180 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:05,625 - And he knows why you're here? 181 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,500 - Oh. 182 00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:08,208 Yes. 183 00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:11,667 Although he never wanted me to come in the first place. 184 00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:14,250 COVEY: What do you mean? Why not? 185 00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:18,000 Sorry. I don't mean to pry. 186 00:12:18,958 --> 00:12:20,750 You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. 187 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:25,250 But you should know, I'm very good at keeping secrets. 188 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,375 - My parents have never approved of Tommy. 189 00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:35,333 They forced me to come here. 190 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,167 They've been telling everyone I'm studying in Brussels. 191 00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,875 But... me and Tommy have a plan. 192 00:12:43,042 --> 00:12:45,000 He's going to sneak me out of here when the baby comes. 193 00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,333 We're getting married, 194 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,333 and we're keeping Henry. 195 00:12:49,917 --> 00:12:52,083 He's going to be a boy. I just know it. 196 00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:53,917 Tommy wants to name him after his dad. 197 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,917 - That's quite a plan. 198 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,250 Where will you go? 199 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,292 Do you have a place to live? 200 00:13:02,292 --> 00:13:03,625 - Not yet. 201 00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:06,167 But Tommy's got a good job at a factory, and he's saving up. 202 00:13:07,208 --> 00:13:09,333 [slight chuckle] You think I'm mad, don't you? 203 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:11,375 - No, not at all. 204 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,542 I just think you must really want to be a mom. 205 00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:19,167 - What about you? 206 00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:21,375 - No. 207 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,417 Not now. 208 00:13:23,417 --> 00:13:24,458 Maybe not ever. 209 00:13:25,042 --> 00:13:27,750 IRENE: Well, you're in good company at any rate. 210 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,042 I'm glad you found your way here, Eleanor. 211 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:37,208 - So did you have everything you needed in the dormitory last night? 212 00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:39,083 - Yes. Thank you. 213 00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,042 It was comfortable and quiet. 214 00:13:41,042 --> 00:13:43,833 - Good. I'm glad that you're settling in. 215 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,458 Now, a few ground rules. 216 00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:48,083 As I told you before, 217 00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,125 there is no cost for you to stay here. 218 00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:51,583 But to cover expenses, 219 00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:55,625 all our girls are expected to help with the cooking and the cleaning. 220 00:13:55,625 --> 00:13:56,917 Are you prepared to do so? 221 00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:58,917 - Of course. 222 00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:01,500 I'm not afraid of a little hard work. 223 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,833 - Good. Glad to hear it. 224 00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:07,542 Now, I'll have you complete these forms on your own. 225 00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:11,042 Date of birth, etcetera. 226 00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:15,417 And may I just ask, 227 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,542 what is the race of the baby's father? 228 00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:20,708 - Well, 229 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000 he's Scottish. 230 00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:27,125 ♪ solemn music playing ♪ 231 00:14:29,458 --> 00:14:31,542 - Alright now, one last thing. 232 00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:32,875 By signing this, 233 00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:36,958 you are allowing the church to find a good home for the child 234 00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:38,833 with a stable family. 235 00:14:39,542 --> 00:14:41,042 Do you understand, Eleanor? 236 00:14:41,042 --> 00:14:42,042 - Yes. 237 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:47,167 I just want to get through all this and move forward with my life. 238 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000 - You're making the right decision 239 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,792 for yourself 240 00:14:51,792 --> 00:14:52,958 and for your child. 241 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:56,375 ♪ 242 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,250 ELEANOR: From that moment on, 243 00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:02,333 my days were full, 244 00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,375 from dawn until dark. 245 00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:09,958 The work was hard. 246 00:15:16,417 --> 00:15:19,333 But it was also a welcome escape. 247 00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:22,792 ♪ 248 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,083 And so the months slipped by, 249 00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:31,417 mercifully. 250 00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:35,292 ♪ 251 00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:44,542 And I did my best not to think about what was happening inside my body. 252 00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:46,625 - Baby's heartbeat sounds perfect. 253 00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:48,958 Would you like to hear it? 254 00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:49,958 - No, thank you. 255 00:15:52,792 --> 00:15:54,583 MIDWIFE: Have you been feeling a lot of kicks lately? 256 00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:57,417 They usually start to get pretty active around now. 257 00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,042 - I don't know. 258 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,583 I haven't noticed. 259 00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:04,375 - The little one should be about the size of a head of lettuce by now, 260 00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:07,000 and they love to roll around doing somersaults-- 261 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,375 - Please, I'd really rather not know. Thank you. 262 00:16:09,958 --> 00:16:11,292 If it's all the same to you. 263 00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:15,292 - Alright. As you like. 264 00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:18,792 Let's get you onto the scales. 265 00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:29,917 Mm. 266 00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,917 You haven't gained enough since your last appointment. 267 00:16:36,917 --> 00:16:38,417 - I can't keep anything down. 268 00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:42,167 - It's late in your pregnancy to still be having morning sickness, 269 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,625 though some women just never feel well until the baby comes. 270 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:48,375 Did your mother have the same problem when she was expecting you? 271 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,583 - I wouldn't know. 272 00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,042 But this thing is making me sick around the clock. 273 00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:57,750 - Look, I can see that you're trying to distance yourself from this baby. 274 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,625 And that's fine, I understand. 275 00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:02,833 But there is a baby in there whether you like it or not. 276 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:06,000 And if you don't feed it the nutrients it needs now, 277 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,167 then it'll turn out to be a sickly child and no one will want to adopt it. 278 00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:14,083 - What am I supposed to do? 279 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,208 Everything I eat just comes back up again. 280 00:17:17,792 --> 00:17:20,583 - Try smaller portions more often. 281 00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:24,708 I don't care if you eat nothing but chips or gherkins or custard creams. 282 00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:28,667 Just find something you can keep down and eat it every day. 283 00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:29,667 Do you understand? 284 00:17:31,542 --> 00:17:33,542 ♪ 285 00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:47,833 [footsteps clomping] 286 00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:51,667 [Irene crying] 287 00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:52,750 - What is it? 288 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,625 - It's Tommy. 289 00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:57,875 He's changed his mind. 290 00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:00,625 - Irene. 291 00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:02,917 - He says he's not ready to be a father after all. 292 00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,083 He's not coming to get us. 293 00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:10,542 [crying, gasps] 294 00:18:12,375 --> 00:18:14,667 [crying] I can't let them take my baby away. 295 00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:19,708 - But you signed the paper, didn't you? 296 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,917 We all did. 297 00:18:23,042 --> 00:18:23,875 - But, 298 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,375 m-maybe I can still find a way. 299 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:32,708 M-Maybe I can sneak him out after he's born, when no one's watching. 300 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,042 M-Maybe I can raise him on my own. 301 00:18:36,208 --> 00:18:37,042 [sighs] 302 00:18:39,542 --> 00:18:41,125 [sniffles] What am I asking you for? 303 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,000 You chose to be here. 304 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,667 Nobody forced you. 305 00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:48,917 How would you understand? 306 00:19:00,042 --> 00:19:02,375 - I told you before that I could keep a secret. 307 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:07,583 So if I tell you one of mine, do you promise to do the same? 308 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:08,958 - Of course. 309 00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:13,958 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 310 00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:19,750 - Before I came here, I was working in an office. 311 00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:26,125 And my supervisor had-- had been so kind to me. 312 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,917 I thought he was someone I could trust. 313 00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:35,250 But one day, 314 00:19:37,958 --> 00:19:38,958 he attacked me. 315 00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,542 ♪ 316 00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:43,667 That's how I ended up here. 317 00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,167 ♪ 318 00:19:46,958 --> 00:19:48,292 - Eleanor, I had no idea. 319 00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,917 - This baby wasn't conceived in love, 320 00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:56,333 not like yours was. 321 00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,792 But even though you and I have very different stories, 322 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,875 somehow we've both ended up in the same predicament. 323 00:20:07,042 --> 00:20:08,792 - My parents will hardly speak to me. 324 00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:13,000 Everybody's turned their back. 325 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000 - Irene, 326 00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,667 If there's one thing I've learned, 327 00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:19,792 it's that the only person you can truly count on 328 00:20:20,708 --> 00:20:21,708 is yourself. 329 00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:25,875 So you have to ask yourself, honestly, 330 00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:30,042 are you gonna be able to raise this child alone? 331 00:20:31,042 --> 00:20:32,958 Are you gonna be able to find a job 332 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,375 and a place to live? 333 00:20:37,917 --> 00:20:41,375 Are you gonna be able to look into that child's face every day 334 00:20:42,125 --> 00:20:44,042 and be reminded of his father? 335 00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,125 I know, for me, I couldn't do it. 336 00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:51,125 - But I want this baby. 337 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,167 ♪ 338 00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:55,750 How am I supposed to just give him up? 339 00:20:58,167 --> 00:20:59,417 - You have to do what I've been doing, 340 00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:02,042 and remind yourself he isn't yours. 341 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,292 He belongs to some other woman, some other family. 342 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,792 And he'll have a good life with them. 343 00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:13,125 Better than anything you or I could provide. 344 00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:16,292 The sooner we can get through this, 345 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,833 the sooner we can put it all behind us. 346 00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,167 [footsteps clomping] 347 00:21:22,167 --> 00:21:24,625 - Come now, girls, this isn't social hour. 348 00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:26,083 Don't you have chores to do? 349 00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,292 - Coming, Sister Janette. 350 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,500 [sighing] 351 00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:49,542 [grunting] 352 00:21:50,583 --> 00:21:51,500 [groans] 353 00:21:52,167 --> 00:21:55,250 [breathing heavily] 354 00:22:02,375 --> 00:22:05,375 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 355 00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:13,375 ♪ 356 00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:29,917 MIDWIFE: There it is. Praise God. 357 00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:32,625 [Covey exhales] 358 00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:33,875 MIDWIFE: Strong and steady. 359 00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:36,792 You've got a little fighter in there, Eleanor. 360 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:40,833 - Wait. 361 00:22:42,125 --> 00:22:43,375 Can I hear it? 362 00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:44,625 - Oh, surely. 363 00:22:47,042 --> 00:22:48,042 Right there. 364 00:22:48,042 --> 00:22:48,792 Listen. 365 00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:53,375 [heart beating rapidly] 366 00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:57,917 ♪ gentle music playing ♪ 367 00:23:03,875 --> 00:23:05,125 - It's so fast. 368 00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:06,250 MIDWIFE: That's normal. 369 00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:07,292 They're growing so rapidly, 370 00:23:07,292 --> 00:23:09,833 the heart has to pump extra hard to keep up. 371 00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,417 IRENE: Do you need anything before I go? 372 00:23:26,417 --> 00:23:27,667 - No. Thank you. 373 00:23:28,792 --> 00:23:31,125 I just don't know what I'm gonna do with myself all day 374 00:23:31,125 --> 00:23:32,500 with nothing to distract me. 375 00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:33,583 - If I were you, I'd be thrilled 376 00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:35,458 not to have to scrub another dirty bed sheet. 377 00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:37,917 Enjoy your bedrest. 378 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,750 [indistinct chatter] 379 00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:40,958 SISTER JANETTE: It's quite easier. 380 00:23:40,958 --> 00:23:43,542 UNWED MOTHER: Thank you. I keep it by the bed. 381 00:23:43,542 --> 00:23:46,875 [chatter continues indistinctly] 382 00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:49,000 [everyone has left the room] 383 00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:57,583 ELEANOR: I had felt little flutters before, 384 00:23:57,583 --> 00:23:58,958 but I ignored them. 385 00:24:04,125 --> 00:24:06,542 Now for the first time, I started to wonder 386 00:24:06,542 --> 00:24:10,292 about this little life moving around inside of me. 387 00:24:10,292 --> 00:24:12,750 ♪ gentle music playing ♪ 388 00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:13,750 Was it a boy? 389 00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:16,208 Or a girl? 390 00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:18,917 Would she have my eyes 391 00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:22,000 or my mother's smile? 392 00:24:24,417 --> 00:24:27,875 And what kind of hopes and dreams would she have one day? 393 00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:30,167 ♪ 394 00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:36,042 [screaming] 395 00:24:38,917 --> 00:24:39,750 - Irene? 396 00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,000 What is it? What happened? 397 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,292 - [straining] Something's wrong. 398 00:24:43,292 --> 00:24:44,208 It hurts! 399 00:24:44,667 --> 00:24:46,583 - Someone go wake up Sister Madeline! 400 00:24:46,583 --> 00:24:47,750 Tell her Irene needs help. 401 00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:49,875 Please! Now! Hurry! 402 00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:51,292 [Irene panting] 403 00:24:52,875 --> 00:24:54,250 - My belly feels like a fist. 404 00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:56,708 [panting] What's happening to me? 405 00:24:56,708 --> 00:24:57,708 - I don't know. 406 00:24:57,708 --> 00:24:59,458 Just squeeze my hand when it hurts, okay? 407 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,083 [Irene screaming] 408 00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:03,667 ELEANOR: The night Irene went into labor, 409 00:25:04,292 --> 00:25:07,417 we had no idea what labor even was. 410 00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:09,250 SISTER MADELINE: It's all right, Irene. 411 00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:10,792 Settle down. 412 00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:12,833 We are taking you to the hospital now. 413 00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:15,375 ELEANOR: Nothing had been explained to us. 414 00:25:16,292 --> 00:25:17,500 - What's wrong with her? 415 00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:18,750 Is she gonna be all right? 416 00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:21,250 - The baby's coming. Everything is fine. 417 00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:24,458 ELEANOR: Everything was shrouded in mystery. 418 00:25:24,458 --> 00:25:26,125 [Irene panting] 419 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:28,000 SISTER MADELINE: Now you girls get back to sleep. 420 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,792 It's none of your concern. 421 00:25:29,792 --> 00:25:32,792 [Irene continues screaming] 422 00:25:34,375 --> 00:25:37,167 ELEANOR: So all I could do... was wait. 423 00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,792 - Irene, I've been so worried. 424 00:25:45,292 --> 00:25:46,417 How did it go? 425 00:25:46,417 --> 00:25:47,833 SISTER JANETTE: She needs to rest, 426 00:25:47,833 --> 00:25:49,125 and so do you. 427 00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:52,208 Now leave her alone. 428 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,125 Let her sleep. 429 00:25:57,667 --> 00:25:59,333 I'll be back later to check on you. 430 00:26:07,958 --> 00:26:09,083 - How do you feel? 431 00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:15,708 ♪ soft music playing ♪ 432 00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:17,042 Is everything okay? 433 00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:20,625 Where's little Henry? 434 00:26:20,625 --> 00:26:23,250 ♪ 435 00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:24,083 - I was wrong. 436 00:26:26,542 --> 00:26:27,667 It wasn't a boy after all. 437 00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:32,917 She's down in the nursery now, I suppose. 438 00:26:33,667 --> 00:26:34,667 - How is she? 439 00:26:36,083 --> 00:26:37,208 What did you name her? 440 00:26:38,417 --> 00:26:39,667 - I didn't give her a name. 441 00:26:41,542 --> 00:26:44,708 But they told me that she was the third baby born this month. 442 00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:50,042 So they just wrote "Baby Number Three" on all the forms. 443 00:26:53,875 --> 00:26:55,958 - Well, even though it wasn't a boy like you planned, 444 00:26:57,667 --> 00:27:00,333 it could still make you feel better to give her a name. 445 00:27:02,167 --> 00:27:03,875 Maybe something meaningful to you. 446 00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:06,542 - But she's not my baby. 447 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,250 So there's no point in naming her, is there? 448 00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:13,458 She's just Baby Number Three. 449 00:27:13,458 --> 00:27:15,500 ♪ 450 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,542 And yours will be Baby Number Four. 451 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:19,917 Or Five. 452 00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:22,333 Or Six. 453 00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:27,167 The sooner we can all get on with our lives 454 00:27:27,167 --> 00:27:30,458 and put all of this behind us, the better. 455 00:27:33,625 --> 00:27:34,458 Right? 456 00:27:34,458 --> 00:27:37,458 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 457 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000 [car starting] 458 00:27:57,875 --> 00:27:59,875 ♪ 459 00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:06,833 ♪ 460 00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:09,583 [indistinct chatter] 461 00:28:16,208 --> 00:28:17,458 IRENE: It's adoption day. 462 00:28:18,125 --> 00:28:20,750 Hope one of those couples will take a liking to Baby Number Three. 463 00:28:22,958 --> 00:28:24,208 Say a prayer for me, won't you? 464 00:28:25,208 --> 00:28:26,250 - Of course. 465 00:28:27,792 --> 00:28:30,375 She's so precious, I'm sure they'll be fighting over her. 466 00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,208 - They better. 467 00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:35,083 I feel like a dairy cow. 468 00:28:35,833 --> 00:28:37,708 I don't understand why they keep us here for six weeks 469 00:28:37,708 --> 00:28:39,375 when they can just buy formula. 470 00:28:40,292 --> 00:28:41,500 - They say it's the cost. 471 00:28:42,583 --> 00:28:43,417 And, 472 00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:45,375 it's what's best for the baby. 473 00:28:45,375 --> 00:28:46,375 - But what about us? 474 00:28:53,292 --> 00:28:54,875 I don't know how much more I can take. 475 00:28:56,792 --> 00:28:59,625 - Eleanor, what are you doing out of bed? 476 00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:02,208 - I'm sorry, I ju-- I just cannot find a comfortable position. 477 00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:05,292 - Well, that's too bad because the midwife was quite clear. 478 00:29:05,292 --> 00:29:06,875 You plant yourself back in that bed 479 00:29:06,875 --> 00:29:08,917 'til you're instructed to do otherwise. 480 00:29:09,917 --> 00:29:13,542 Now, Irene, those floors aren't going to scrub themselves, are they? 481 00:29:13,542 --> 00:29:14,542 IRENE: Coming, Sister Janette. 482 00:29:14,542 --> 00:29:17,875 [departing footsteps] 483 00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:30,042 [heavy breaths] 484 00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:45,083 [muffled, indistinct chatter] 485 00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:54,250 [Covey grunts] 486 00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:56,250 [heavy breaths] 487 00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,125 [groans] 488 00:30:03,083 --> 00:30:04,417 [grunts] 489 00:30:07,125 --> 00:30:08,542 [grunting] 490 00:30:08,542 --> 00:30:12,708 MATHILDA: Breathe deep and wide, Covey. 491 00:30:15,125 --> 00:30:17,375 Deep and wide. 492 00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:21,125 Deep and wide. 493 00:30:23,667 --> 00:30:26,667 [shuddering] 494 00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:35,083 - You're not coming with me? 495 00:30:36,250 --> 00:30:38,250 [siren wailing] 496 00:30:39,583 --> 00:30:42,667 MATHILDA: Breathe deep and wide. 497 00:30:42,667 --> 00:30:45,083 [grunting] 498 00:30:45,083 --> 00:30:47,667 MIDWIFE: Eleanor, you have to breathe. 499 00:30:47,667 --> 00:30:51,208 [continues grunting] 500 00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:54,292 - If you want to swim on your own one day, my girl, 501 00:30:54,292 --> 00:30:56,708 you must learn to control your breath. 502 00:30:57,375 --> 00:31:00,750 Breathe deep and wide. 503 00:31:00,750 --> 00:31:02,792 And take it one stroke at a time. 504 00:31:03,500 --> 00:31:04,917 Ready to try one more time? 505 00:31:05,917 --> 00:31:07,458 What are you afraid of? 506 00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:10,208 - What's underneath. What I can't see. 507 00:31:10,208 --> 00:31:11,792 MIDWIFE: You have to breathe. 508 00:31:11,792 --> 00:31:13,167 [Covey crying] MIDWIFE: Eleanor-- 509 00:31:13,167 --> 00:31:16,583 - Breathe deep and wide. 510 00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:17,750 And I'll be right here. 511 00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:19,958 Breathe in. 512 00:31:20,667 --> 00:31:23,667 [breathes deeply] MATHILDA: Out. 513 00:31:24,208 --> 00:31:27,042 In. Out. 514 00:31:27,417 --> 00:31:29,292 [Covey groans] MATHILDA: In. 515 00:31:29,292 --> 00:31:30,667 [Covey inhales sharply] 516 00:31:30,667 --> 00:31:32,250 - I wanna see. 517 00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:34,125 - Calm down, dear. We do this with all the girls. 518 00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:35,458 It's what's best. 519 00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:38,500 - [grunting in pain] No! I need to see! 520 00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:40,333 [grunting] 521 00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:41,333 MATHILDA: Breathe in. 522 00:31:42,125 --> 00:31:43,583 Out. 523 00:31:43,583 --> 00:31:45,083 In. 524 00:31:45,083 --> 00:31:46,000 Out. 525 00:31:46,542 --> 00:31:48,042 Breathe in. 526 00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:48,875 MIDWIFE: That's it. 527 00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:51,042 MATHILDA: Out. [both exhale] 528 00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:52,792 In. [both inhale] 529 00:31:52,792 --> 00:31:54,875 Out. [both exhale] 530 00:31:56,375 --> 00:32:01,083 ♪ 531 00:32:02,333 --> 00:32:04,333 [screaming] 532 00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:06,500 [sobs] 533 00:32:07,667 --> 00:32:10,542 [gasps, cries] 534 00:32:10,542 --> 00:32:12,542 [baby crying] 535 00:32:17,542 --> 00:32:18,792 - Is the baby okay? 536 00:32:20,792 --> 00:32:22,667 Miss Sheila, is the baby okay? 537 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,208 Miss Sheila, please. 538 00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,333 SHEILA: Congratulations. 539 00:32:28,167 --> 00:32:30,667 We have ourselves a healthy, thriving girl. 540 00:32:30,667 --> 00:32:33,417 [baby crying] - Mm. You're so sweet! 541 00:32:33,417 --> 00:32:35,208 SISTER JANETTE: And so easy to place. 542 00:32:35,208 --> 00:32:37,792 [baby cries] [Covey weeps] 543 00:32:37,792 --> 00:32:38,792 [Sister Madeline chuckles] 544 00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,333 SHEILA: Feeding time. 545 00:32:43,042 --> 00:32:44,750 Down you go. 546 00:32:45,250 --> 00:32:47,333 [baby cries] [Covey shushing] 547 00:32:50,833 --> 00:32:54,750 ELEANOR: "So easy to place." Of course. 548 00:32:54,750 --> 00:32:58,292 My sweet girl with a shock of dark hair 549 00:32:58,292 --> 00:33:02,708 and a birthmark on her perfect little pink head. 550 00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:06,000 [baby gurgles] 551 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,208 SHEILA: Come on, Eleanor. 552 00:33:07,208 --> 00:33:10,042 The baby will latch better if you scoot down a bit. 553 00:33:10,042 --> 00:33:11,667 - Her name is Mathilda. 554 00:33:11,667 --> 00:33:13,667 [baby cries] [Covey shushes] 555 00:33:13,667 --> 00:33:16,708 ELEANOR: Before I met you, my firstborn, 556 00:33:16,708 --> 00:33:19,500 I was afraid that you would be a reminder 557 00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:21,833 of that horrible thing that happened to me. 558 00:33:22,917 --> 00:33:27,042 And then, all of a sudden, my past didn't matter. 559 00:33:28,208 --> 00:33:29,292 All of a sudden, 560 00:33:29,292 --> 00:33:31,250 you were my future. 561 00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:32,167 [baby cries] 562 00:33:32,167 --> 00:33:33,375 My everything. 563 00:33:34,208 --> 00:33:35,542 - You'll feed every two hours. 564 00:33:35,542 --> 00:33:38,292 And you'll do so in the nursery, no exceptions. 565 00:33:38,292 --> 00:33:40,917 One of us will wake you to keep you on schedule. 566 00:33:40,917 --> 00:33:42,708 IRENE: Please take her away. 567 00:33:42,708 --> 00:33:44,708 Please! I can't do this. NUN: You need to try again. 568 00:33:44,708 --> 00:33:46,125 IRENE: Please, just take her away. I can't. 569 00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,542 NUN: She needs to feed. Pull the chin up. 570 00:33:47,542 --> 00:33:48,833 - What on earth is going on? 571 00:33:48,833 --> 00:33:51,625 - It doesn't matter what I do, this baby will not feed. 572 00:33:51,625 --> 00:33:53,708 - Hush, child. Untuck the baby's chin. 573 00:33:53,708 --> 00:33:55,208 IRENE: I've tried that already! 574 00:33:55,208 --> 00:33:59,042 I'm not a machine. Just-- You take her. I can't do this. 575 00:33:59,042 --> 00:34:01,333 - You must try. She's starving. 576 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:02,333 Untuck the baby's chin. 577 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:04,792 [Irene sighs] 578 00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:06,875 [baby fussing] 579 00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:12,042 [Irene grunts in pain] 580 00:34:12,667 --> 00:34:15,042 - She bit me! - Quiet yourself, Irene. 581 00:34:15,042 --> 00:34:16,250 And keep at it. 582 00:34:16,250 --> 00:34:19,250 [babies crying] 583 00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:29,625 [baby crying] 584 00:34:29,625 --> 00:34:32,250 - See! She won't stay on. - Dear God. 585 00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:34,042 IRENE: Please, just let me go back to work. 586 00:34:34,042 --> 00:34:35,250 I can't do this. 587 00:34:35,250 --> 00:34:37,000 NUN: She won't latch, what other choice do we have? 588 00:34:38,667 --> 00:34:39,833 [baby fussing] 589 00:34:39,833 --> 00:34:41,792 - You only upset her anyway. 590 00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:46,208 Go on, escort Eleanor back to the dormitory. 591 00:34:46,208 --> 00:34:47,083 [baby cries] 592 00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:50,833 - Could I maybe sit with her for a little bit longer? 593 00:34:51,792 --> 00:34:53,167 She did not feed much at the hospital. 594 00:34:53,167 --> 00:34:54,458 - We have them on a schedule. 595 00:34:54,458 --> 00:34:57,000 It makes for an easier transition when they're placed. 596 00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:00,833 [babies crying] 597 00:35:04,458 --> 00:35:06,042 Irene, go on. 598 00:35:14,125 --> 00:35:15,875 Mm. [baby grunts] 599 00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:29,625 - Well, you did it. You're one step closer to the finish line. 600 00:35:30,958 --> 00:35:31,792 How are you feeling? 601 00:35:32,875 --> 00:35:33,792 - Different. 602 00:35:33,792 --> 00:35:34,875 - Yes, of course. 603 00:35:35,833 --> 00:35:38,000 When the shock wears off, you'll feel like a split turkey. 604 00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:41,750 You'll want to slip into that. 605 00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:43,875 To heal your privates. 606 00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:44,792 [babies crying] 607 00:35:44,792 --> 00:35:45,958 - It's awkward, 608 00:35:45,958 --> 00:35:48,208 but like everything else in this hellhole, you'll get used to it. 609 00:35:50,208 --> 00:35:52,208 [distant baby cries] 610 00:35:55,542 --> 00:35:58,375 - How lovely. Did you do this? 611 00:35:58,375 --> 00:35:59,583 - Me and the other girls. 612 00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:04,667 Thought it was about time we were, I don't know, acknowledged. 613 00:36:05,333 --> 00:36:06,333 Celebrated. 614 00:36:06,833 --> 00:36:08,292 After all we put our bodies through. 615 00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:10,708 Do you know what I mean? 616 00:36:11,792 --> 00:36:12,917 - I do. 617 00:36:12,917 --> 00:36:15,417 - Especially considering we don't even get a couple of days to recover 618 00:36:15,417 --> 00:36:17,375 before they send us back to work. 619 00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:19,500 - At least we get to rest during feedings. 620 00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:20,833 - Rest? 621 00:36:20,833 --> 00:36:23,000 I'd rather scrub floors until my knuckles bleed. 622 00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:25,208 - Stop it. - Stop what? 623 00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:27,417 - Acting like you don't care about your baby. 624 00:36:27,417 --> 00:36:29,333 - It's not my baby, remember? 625 00:36:34,167 --> 00:36:35,875 - I'm sorry I said that, Irene. 626 00:36:37,417 --> 00:36:38,958 But it was months ago. 627 00:36:39,583 --> 00:36:41,208 I didn't know. 628 00:36:41,208 --> 00:36:42,500 I couldn't have known. 629 00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:45,667 Now that I do, I think-- 630 00:36:45,667 --> 00:36:47,917 I think maybe you should try and bond with her. 631 00:36:48,583 --> 00:36:49,583 - I can't. 632 00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:52,292 Not when I know she isn't mine. 633 00:36:56,792 --> 00:36:58,667 - But if you enjoy the time you do have with her, 634 00:37:00,167 --> 00:37:01,917 feed her, soothe her, 635 00:37:04,083 --> 00:37:05,958 maybe it'll make this time less miserable. 636 00:37:07,833 --> 00:37:09,083 Maybe years from now, 637 00:37:11,583 --> 00:37:13,375 it'll be the one thing you hold on to. 638 00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:17,083 Can't you just try? 639 00:37:17,583 --> 00:37:19,333 I know you're tired of pretending. 640 00:37:21,792 --> 00:37:23,708 Believe me, I understand how hard it is. 641 00:37:25,042 --> 00:37:26,458 - Don't worry about me, Eleanor. 642 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,167 In a few weeks, this will all be over, 643 00:37:31,167 --> 00:37:32,958 and I'll be able to move on with my life. 644 00:37:36,542 --> 00:37:37,542 We both will. 645 00:37:37,542 --> 00:37:42,167 ♪ 646 00:37:47,792 --> 00:37:49,792 [baby crying] 647 00:37:54,667 --> 00:37:57,000 - [claps] Time to feed. [Covey gasps] 648 00:37:59,125 --> 00:38:01,125 [baby crying] 649 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,125 SISTER JANETTE: I hear ya. I know. 650 00:38:08,125 --> 00:38:09,083 COVEY: Where's Irene? 651 00:38:09,625 --> 00:38:11,250 SISTER JANETTE: Not that it's any of your business, 652 00:38:11,250 --> 00:38:12,625 but she's been discharged. 653 00:38:13,250 --> 00:38:15,375 [baby cries] - But it hasn't been six weeks. 654 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,625 - She was unable and unwilling to nurse. 655 00:38:18,625 --> 00:38:19,917 We needed to free up the bed. 656 00:38:21,750 --> 00:38:24,292 - Where did she go? SISTER JANETTE: Home. 657 00:38:24,292 --> 00:38:26,042 - Home? But her parents-- 658 00:38:26,042 --> 00:38:28,792 - They came to pick her up this afternoon. 659 00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:31,250 It was quite a warm reception. 660 00:38:32,917 --> 00:38:35,000 They're eager to move on, 661 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,000 as a family. 662 00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:38,708 Hush now. 663 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:41,917 We have a hungry baby on our hands. 664 00:38:43,667 --> 00:38:45,083 - Hello there, Mathilda. 665 00:38:45,750 --> 00:38:47,417 Are you hungry, my sweet girl? 666 00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:50,333 [Covey shushes] 667 00:38:50,792 --> 00:38:51,875 I'm here. 668 00:38:53,208 --> 00:38:56,583 [babies crying] 669 00:38:56,583 --> 00:38:59,000 SISTER JANETTE: Oh, it's a bit of rash. 670 00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:01,208 Terrible stuff. 671 00:39:01,917 --> 00:39:04,917 ♪ uneasy music playing ♪ 672 00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:11,208 [Nuns chatter indistinctly] 673 00:39:11,208 --> 00:39:14,000 ♪ 674 00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:18,083 ♪ uneasy music intensifies ♪ 675 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,250 ♪ 676 00:39:50,417 --> 00:39:52,125 - And where do you think you're going? 677 00:39:56,083 --> 00:39:57,083 - I don't know. 678 00:39:58,292 --> 00:39:59,125 I just-- 679 00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:02,542 I have to get outta here, 680 00:40:03,625 --> 00:40:05,125 and I have to take her with me. 681 00:40:06,208 --> 00:40:07,208 - I understand. 682 00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:10,708 - You do? 683 00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:14,792 - Of course. It's perfectly normal to feel this way, 684 00:40:14,792 --> 00:40:16,250 so close to the birth. 685 00:40:17,292 --> 00:40:18,708 But let me ask you something. 686 00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:22,458 How far you think you're gonna get with two diapers and a blanket? 687 00:40:23,250 --> 00:40:25,917 The child won't survive. Neither will you. 688 00:40:27,167 --> 00:40:29,917 You're not in your right mind to make such a decision. 689 00:40:29,917 --> 00:40:32,083 You've been waking up all hours of the night, 690 00:40:32,083 --> 00:40:33,958 barely eating or sleeping. 691 00:40:34,750 --> 00:40:37,083 Why don't you... get some rest? 692 00:40:38,667 --> 00:40:40,667 And we'll talk about all this in the morning. 693 00:40:45,792 --> 00:40:48,875 ♪ 694 00:40:51,667 --> 00:40:53,167 [baby fussing] 695 00:40:56,792 --> 00:40:57,792 - You're right. 696 00:40:59,833 --> 00:41:02,417 I'm so sorry to have worried you, Sister Madeline. 697 00:41:02,417 --> 00:41:04,708 - [softly] That's okay. You go and get some sleep. 698 00:41:05,375 --> 00:41:07,083 Right now, you're in a fog. 699 00:41:07,625 --> 00:41:10,667 But tomorrow, everything will be much clearer. 700 00:41:11,458 --> 00:41:12,458 I promise. 701 00:41:20,625 --> 00:41:23,792 ELEANOR: I had grown accustomed to pretending. 702 00:41:23,792 --> 00:41:28,042 Pretending I was a girl raised by my grandmother in the mountains. 703 00:41:28,042 --> 00:41:31,167 Pretending I was an orphan nurse. 704 00:41:35,917 --> 00:41:39,042 And now, I would pretend that I was the same person 705 00:41:39,042 --> 00:41:41,833 who walked into that home for unwed mothers. 706 00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:46,917 A young woman unwilling and unfit to be a mother. 707 00:41:49,333 --> 00:41:52,792 But I knew something Sister Madeline did not. 708 00:41:53,542 --> 00:41:58,042 I knew that love was enough to make me a fit parent, 709 00:41:58,833 --> 00:42:00,750 that I was enough. 710 00:42:15,375 --> 00:42:19,458 I just had to wait until the right moment to prove it. 711 00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:28,583 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 712 00:42:43,250 --> 00:42:45,875 [Mathilda breathes deeply] 713 00:42:52,167 --> 00:42:56,625 ♪ 714 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,000 - I'll be home soon, my girl. 715 00:43:11,708 --> 00:43:16,208 ♪ 716 00:43:23,667 --> 00:43:26,375 PEARL: The boat leaves in an hour, Mathilda. 717 00:43:26,375 --> 00:43:28,500 You'll just make it if you hurry. 718 00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:30,792 - I'll write to you when I reach America, 719 00:43:30,792 --> 00:43:32,625 and then I'll be back for Covey, 720 00:43:33,417 --> 00:43:36,042 when I find somewhere safe for us to start over. 721 00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:40,333 - Here. It's my share of the cake money. 722 00:43:40,333 --> 00:43:43,208 - No. I can't accept this. 723 00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:44,708 You have your own family. 724 00:43:44,708 --> 00:43:46,958 - You are my family. 725 00:43:49,542 --> 00:43:53,125 - Promise me you will protect her, 726 00:43:53,125 --> 00:43:56,833 and wrap your arms around her for me every single day. 727 00:43:58,792 --> 00:44:00,958 - I promise. [both cry, sniffle] 728 00:44:04,792 --> 00:44:05,625 Now go. 729 00:44:06,292 --> 00:44:07,125 Go on. 730 00:44:07,125 --> 00:44:08,583 Before you lose your nerve. 731 00:44:12,958 --> 00:44:15,958 [birds chirping] 732 00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:18,000 [Covey gasps] 733 00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:20,333 ♪ tense music playing ♪ 734 00:44:27,292 --> 00:44:28,292 - Where's Mathilda? 735 00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:32,792 Wh-Why didn't anyone wake me to feed or for morning chores? 736 00:44:32,792 --> 00:44:35,917 - Our mistake. Get dressed and head on down to the kitchen, will you? 737 00:44:35,917 --> 00:44:39,250 ♪ 738 00:44:43,542 --> 00:44:44,500 - Sister Madeline! 739 00:44:45,333 --> 00:44:46,458 Sister Madeline! 740 00:44:51,417 --> 00:44:52,417 MAN: What a beauty. 741 00:44:52,417 --> 00:44:54,458 - Oh, she's absolutely perfect. 742 00:44:55,333 --> 00:44:59,125 Oh, would you look at that, Ron? I think she smiled at me. 743 00:45:00,042 --> 00:45:01,042 - What are you doing? 744 00:45:01,042 --> 00:45:03,125 SISTER MADELINE: Okay, let me take care of this. Hello-- 745 00:45:03,125 --> 00:45:06,208 - Sister Madeline, you have to stop this! Please! 746 00:45:06,208 --> 00:45:07,417 SISTER MADELINE: Everything is fine. 747 00:45:07,417 --> 00:45:09,500 - Give her to me! That's my baby! - Everything is fine. 748 00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:11,208 - No, you lied to me! - No. 749 00:45:11,208 --> 00:45:12,542 - Please, don't do this to me! 750 00:45:12,542 --> 00:45:14,208 Please, please! - Oh, okay. 751 00:45:14,208 --> 00:45:16,667 - I-I changed my mind. I take it all back. 752 00:45:16,667 --> 00:45:19,500 - It's too late! - No! I didn't know what I was doing. 753 00:45:19,500 --> 00:45:22,833 I didn't know what I was signing. Please, I want her. Please! 754 00:45:22,833 --> 00:45:24,292 That's my baby! 755 00:45:24,292 --> 00:45:26,250 [door closes] - No! Mathilda! 756 00:45:28,292 --> 00:45:29,125 No! 757 00:45:30,833 --> 00:45:31,667 No! 758 00:45:31,875 --> 00:45:35,625 [screams] No! No! Please! 759 00:45:35,625 --> 00:45:38,208 Please! [gasping breaths] 760 00:45:38,208 --> 00:45:41,333 ♪ somber music playing ♪ 761 00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:44,333 [Covey whimpers] 762 00:45:44,333 --> 00:45:47,208 ♪ 763 00:45:47,208 --> 00:45:49,208 [sobs] 764 00:45:52,292 --> 00:45:54,708 SISTER MADELINE: They've been praying for a baby for years. 765 00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:56,583 [gasping breaths] 766 00:45:56,583 --> 00:46:01,125 - And they've agreed to keep Mathilda as her middle name at my request, so... 767 00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:03,292 [Covey cries] 768 00:46:03,292 --> 00:46:06,917 - A little piece of you will be with her always. 769 00:46:09,208 --> 00:46:10,708 Take comfort in that, will you? 770 00:46:10,708 --> 00:46:11,875 [Covey sobs] 771 00:46:15,458 --> 00:46:17,000 - Come on, dear. 772 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,875 Let's get you packed and on your way. 773 00:46:18,875 --> 00:46:21,708 [gasps, cries] 774 00:46:23,583 --> 00:46:25,833 - [crying] Where will I go? 775 00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:27,958 - You've done a good thing. 776 00:46:28,917 --> 00:46:30,708 God will lead the way, child. 777 00:46:30,708 --> 00:46:33,000 [sobbing] 778 00:46:40,708 --> 00:46:43,708 ♪ Girl from the North Country by Bob Dylan playing ♪ 779 00:46:49,167 --> 00:46:51,917 ELEANOR: I will never know what kept my mum away. 780 00:46:51,917 --> 00:46:54,083 - ♪ If you're travelin' ♪ 781 00:46:55,125 --> 00:46:57,375 ♪ To the north country fair ♪ 782 00:46:57,375 --> 00:47:00,375 ELEANOR: But I believe, with all my heart, 783 00:47:03,292 --> 00:47:05,667 that she wanted to come back for me. 784 00:47:07,375 --> 00:47:09,375 - ♪ Remember me ♪ 785 00:47:10,833 --> 00:47:12,042 ♪ To one who... ♪ 786 00:47:12,042 --> 00:47:14,083 ELEANOR: I have to believe that. 787 00:47:15,708 --> 00:47:17,958 - ♪ Oh she once was ♪ 788 00:47:19,167 --> 00:47:21,583 ♪ A true love of mine ♪ 789 00:47:22,250 --> 00:47:27,250 ELEANOR: For weeks, I walked the streets, hoping I'd find you. 790 00:47:28,750 --> 00:47:30,667 PROTESTER [on megaphone]: Speak now, brothers and sisters. 791 00:47:30,667 --> 00:47:32,125 Let our burdens be known! 792 00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:34,125 [students protesting] 793 00:47:34,917 --> 00:47:36,583 ELEANOR: And then I saw him, 794 00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:40,375 my reason to keep living. 795 00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:43,333 - ♪ See for me that her hair's... ♪ 796 00:47:43,333 --> 00:47:46,417 ELEANOR: If Gibbs Grant had only known what he was getting into that day 797 00:47:46,417 --> 00:47:49,375 when I nearly walked in front of a bus, 798 00:47:50,458 --> 00:47:52,292 instead of into his arms, 799 00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:56,833 I'm not sure he would've kept walking. 800 00:47:59,083 --> 00:48:01,125 But I'm so grateful that he did. 801 00:48:04,333 --> 00:48:07,458 [on recording] Just as I am grateful for the time I had with you, 802 00:48:08,125 --> 00:48:10,833 Mabel Mathilda. 803 00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:13,667 You must know, my firstborn, 804 00:48:13,667 --> 00:48:18,208 that even if I couldn't find the courage to tell my family about you, 805 00:48:18,958 --> 00:48:21,250 you are always here with me. 806 00:48:21,250 --> 00:48:22,542 With us. 807 00:48:22,542 --> 00:48:24,167 You are everywhere. 808 00:48:24,167 --> 00:48:25,250 Know that. 809 00:48:25,250 --> 00:48:26,083 [clicks off] 810 00:48:26,625 --> 00:48:28,583 - I'm sorry. I just, um-- 811 00:48:28,583 --> 00:48:30,083 I just need a break. [sniffling] 812 00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:34,000 ♪ solemn music playing ♪ 813 00:48:44,208 --> 00:48:45,125 - Byron, 814 00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:48,083 the daffodils. 815 00:48:49,750 --> 00:48:51,750 ♪ 816 00:49:03,250 --> 00:49:04,500 - I am so sorry. 817 00:49:05,917 --> 00:49:07,125 For coming here unannounced 818 00:49:07,125 --> 00:49:10,625 and storming out yesterday like a madwoman. 819 00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:14,917 - Mabel, 820 00:49:16,083 --> 00:49:17,083 come on. 821 00:49:17,083 --> 00:49:18,500 There's something you should see. 822 00:49:26,458 --> 00:49:29,000 - Ma was obsessed with this garden. 823 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:29,875 BYRON: Hmm. 824 00:49:29,875 --> 00:49:33,292 - And now, after hearing her talk about the daffodils in bloom 825 00:49:33,292 --> 00:49:34,375 when you were born-- 826 00:49:35,042 --> 00:49:36,708 She planted these for you. 827 00:49:38,583 --> 00:49:39,875 ELEANOR: Mabel, 828 00:49:39,875 --> 00:49:42,875 I hope that you will find comfort in knowing 829 00:49:42,875 --> 00:49:46,125 that you are not alone in this world. 830 00:49:47,917 --> 00:49:51,583 As I reach the end of my time here, 831 00:49:51,583 --> 00:49:56,583 I find myself feeling closer to my mother than ever before. 832 00:49:56,583 --> 00:50:01,292 If only I had more time to find out what happened to her. 833 00:50:01,292 --> 00:50:04,542 Maybe you can do that for me, my loves. 834 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:11,667 B and B, I don't know how you will feel after hearing everything I've had to say. 835 00:50:12,292 --> 00:50:14,042 You may be upset. 836 00:50:14,042 --> 00:50:16,167 You may be asking yourselves 837 00:50:16,167 --> 00:50:18,833 if you can ever really know who I am. 838 00:50:19,833 --> 00:50:22,167 And this is what I need you to hear. 839 00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:26,625 You have always known who I am. 840 00:50:27,875 --> 00:50:30,833 Who I am is your mother. 841 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:38,000 [on recording] My children, I've reached the end of my story. 842 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,250 This is it for me. 843 00:50:41,750 --> 00:50:44,458 I realize, of course, 844 00:50:44,458 --> 00:50:48,958 that I'm leaving you with so many unanswered questions, 845 00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:52,333 particularly... about my wedding. 846 00:50:54,083 --> 00:50:57,250 And I understand if you still want answers. 847 00:50:58,250 --> 00:51:01,167 So you deserve to know that there is still someone out there 848 00:51:01,167 --> 00:51:03,000 who can give them to you. 849 00:51:03,833 --> 00:51:07,125 Someone who knows what really happened. 850 00:51:08,375 --> 00:51:10,375 Although, I must admit 851 00:51:10,375 --> 00:51:13,708 I'm afraid of what you'll think if you find out the truth. 852 00:51:14,417 --> 00:51:15,708 So please, 853 00:51:16,458 --> 00:51:19,083 before you go digging into the past, 854 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:23,833 just know that it might not be what you expect. 855 00:51:29,750 --> 00:51:32,167 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 856 00:51:37,625 --> 00:51:41,833 ♪ 857 00:51:51,792 --> 00:51:52,958 And please, 858 00:51:56,125 --> 00:52:00,417 try to understand that nothing about that night was easy. 859 00:52:03,958 --> 00:52:09,500 ♪ 860 00:52:16,542 --> 00:52:17,792 But in the end, 861 00:52:18,917 --> 00:52:20,542 it had to be done. 862 00:52:26,583 --> 00:52:31,583 ♪ 863 00:52:33,583 --> 00:52:37,542 ♪ gentle music playing ♪ 864 00:53:54,083 --> 00:53:59,583 ♪ 865 00:54:27,583 --> 00:54:30,583 ♪ music fades out ♪