1 00:00:27,612 --> 00:00:28,446 ‎没事吧? 2 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:31,783 ‎再来 3 00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:48,549 ‎我的妈啊 安德烈在直播《嘿哥说》 ‎要不要听? 4 00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:49,634 ‎好吧 5 00:00:51,803 --> 00:00:55,640 ‎各位嘿粉 ‎欢迎收听《嘿哥说》周日特辑 6 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,184 ‎我是主持人嘿哥 7 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,019 ‎你们都知道了 8 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,648 ‎这个播客主要分享如何关爱自己 9 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,733 ‎只是有时候心里伤得太深 10 00:01:05,817 --> 00:01:07,860 ‎以致于全世界 ‎所有自励方法都无补于事 11 00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:11,280 ‎我刚刚发现我的男友 ‎跟我最要好的女性友人 12 00:01:11,364 --> 00:01:13,282 ‎在我背后偷偷交往 13 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,160 ‎-该死的! ‎-该死的! 14 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,788 ‎我撞见他们俩接吻 ‎当时她绝对没必要进行人工呼吸 15 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,414 ‎让我暂停喘口气一下 16 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,583 ‎背信弃义的人比杀人凶手更可怕 17 00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:24,043 ‎连杀狗的人都比他们有良心 18 00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:27,213 ‎起码后者的受害者已经不再痛苦了 19 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,757 ‎我们自以为很理解身边的朋友和爱人 20 00:01:29,841 --> 00:01:31,926 ‎直到他们捅穿我们的心脏 ‎深深伤害了我们 21 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,386 ‎心受伤了就再也无法挽救了 22 00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:35,138 ‎抱歉 我是不是离题了? 23 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,682 ‎我无法告诉任何人 ‎因为我的心都碎了 24 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,060 ‎但说真的 25 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,646 ‎舍得伤害挚爱的人 ‎究竟还是不是人呢? 26 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:46,440 ‎换成你们会怎么做? 27 00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:51,070 ‎通常我会劝人心放宽点 要以德报怨 28 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:56,534 ‎但伤得太深的时候 ‎仅仅宽恕是不够的 29 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:59,287 ‎深深被伤害时 30 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,582 ‎唯有公开这些人渣的名字才能解气 31 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,585 ‎去你妈的阿隆和黛米! 32 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,588 ‎片名:我的街区弗里瑞吉 33 00:02:12,425 --> 00:02:16,512 ‎家里卫生纸用光的 ‎你也应该拿脏衣服去洗了 34 00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:21,809 ‎尤其是你那件 ‎可能已被充作卫生纸的T恤 35 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,356 ‎这是爱马仕吗? 36 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:31,777 ‎难道是手缝边丝巾? ‎图案精致得无可挑剔 37 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:37,366 ‎正品标签?等等 这是真货! ‎你从哪里弄来的? 38 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,076 ‎你卖淫了?开玩笑的 39 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,704 ‎说真的 偷窃是不对的 40 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:45,249 ‎所以她是有钱人 ‎你说丝巾的主人会住在什么地方? 41 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,421 ‎我感受到阵阵海岸风情 42 00:02:51,631 --> 00:02:55,843 ‎似乎闻到 ‎卡戴珊家族卡拉巴萨斯豪宅的气息 43 00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,096 ‎不对 我闻到… 44 00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:03,726 ‎皱巴巴的睾丸、网球场、贝弗利山庄 45 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,356 ‎是香奈儿五号香水的味道吗? 46 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,274 ‎不对 47 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:15,029 ‎是香奈儿十号香水 ‎说明她是富豪中的富豪 48 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,322 ‎是钱的气息 49 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,866 ‎贝莱尔、霍姆比山? 50 00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:22,787 ‎记得叫鲁斯迪 ‎将卫生纸写进购物清单里 51 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,872 ‎等等 你对报复有什么看法? 52 00:03:25,498 --> 00:03:28,042 ‎我完全支持你去报复 ‎前提是跟你那件T恤无关 53 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:28,960 ‎跟那件T恤无关 54 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,711 ‎那就好 我完全支持你去报复 55 00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:39,387 ‎别在这里牵手 ‎秀恩爱相等于对安德烈不敬 56 00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,681 ‎别被他在播客上说的话影响 57 00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:44,100 ‎但我就是那个第三者 ‎如今全校都知道了 58 00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,518 ‎但也只有你一个女人 59 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,687 ‎这就是我不想跟他提分手的原因 60 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,647 ‎因为我知道他一定会有这种反应 61 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,817 ‎我们确实给他造成了心理创伤 62 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,278 ‎万一他无法再对人敞开心扉怎么办? 63 00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:57,530 ‎紧身牛仔裤过时后 ‎他不也受到心理创伤吗? 64 00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,073 ‎我相信他会好起来的 65 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,700 ‎他说他被伤透心了 66 00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:04,829 ‎听好 我们都不想伤害安德烈 ‎但事情都已经发生了 67 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,707 ‎我们既无法改变什么 ‎也无法控制他的情绪反应 68 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:11,127 ‎我们唯一能做的 就是放下过去 ‎把心力放在我们俩身上 69 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:14,213 ‎黛米 我们终于可以在一起了 70 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:16,799 ‎狐狸精! 71 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,592 ‎什么狐狸精? 72 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:24,890 ‎报仇! 73 00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:28,185 ‎葛洛丽亚 你搞什么? ‎为什么无端端打我的脸? 74 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,646 ‎抱歉 我瞄准的目标是你老二! 75 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:32,231 ‎我都坐着 你怎么可能瞄准呢? 76 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,150 ‎-这不是重点! ‎-好吧 77 00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:37,278 ‎不好 你为什么伤害我妹? 78 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:40,781 ‎等一下 你生什么气? ‎难道你希望我跟你妹交往吗? 79 00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:44,327 ‎不好吗?你什么人都可以! ‎连妓女也可以! 80 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:47,288 ‎葛洛丽亚 适可而止 ‎你整个人都疯魔了! 81 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,500 ‎我让你知道“疯魔”是什么意思! 82 00:04:51,584 --> 00:04:53,878 ‎疯魔! 83 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,965 ‎葛洛丽亚 别闹了 ‎难道你真要揍我一拳… 84 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:00,843 ‎听说你被人扔食物霸凌了! 85 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,929 ‎-你们看 葛洛丽亚打架了! ‎-葛洛丽亚打架? 86 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:07,308 ‎什么?伊妮丝不是在这里吗? 87 00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:14,023 ‎够了 住手! 88 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:18,319 ‎葛洛丽亚 89 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:19,487 ‎我已经无言以对了 90 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,156 ‎很好 那我们明天再谈吧 91 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:25,242 ‎起码等我打破挂臂撑计时记录吧 92 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,786 ‎不行 93 00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:28,579 ‎有什么事吗? 94 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,539 ‎我是来接我女儿葛洛丽亚的 95 00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:33,959 ‎我还以为你男朋友会来 96 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,836 ‎-男朋友? ‎-不好意思 97 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,339 ‎我是指你的丈夫 他叫哈维尔 对吧? 98 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:39,256 ‎我就是哈维尔 99 00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:42,843 ‎你们家人一定很容易搞糊涂吧 100 00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:45,721 ‎总之这已经葛洛丽亚第三次记过了 101 00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:47,640 ‎她第一次记过是什么时候? 102 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,896 ‎先是在家办派对 现在在学校打人? ‎你到底怎么回事? 103 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,148 ‎托尼奥! 104 00:05:56,232 --> 00:05:57,274 ‎哈维尔? 105 00:05:58,067 --> 00:05:59,235 ‎糟了! 106 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:02,488 ‎-这里不是牙医诊所 我来错地方了 ‎-我真不知道该对谁生气 107 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,949 ‎对我脾气暴躁的女儿 ‎还是我脑袋被驴踢的弟弟? 108 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:05,991 ‎为什么冒充我? 109 00:06:06,075 --> 00:06:10,788 ‎“冒充”这个词不合适 ‎说是“模仿”更合适点 110 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,665 ‎况且我从没想过会被你发现的 111 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,500 ‎为什么不管好你的拳头? 112 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:15,960 ‎搞到我要买劳工保险了 113 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,712 ‎怪我?这次家里的固定电话线 ‎怎么没转接到你的手机? 114 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,132 ‎-我付钱给你有用吗? ‎-你付钱给你叔叔? 115 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,174 ‎她还钱不准时 116 00:06:22,258 --> 00:06:24,635 ‎电话线没问题 ‎只是刚好你发短信给我 117 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,179 ‎导致跳线 因为你老爸不肯签购 ‎升级版的手机套餐 118 00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:28,472 ‎你在我们家庭手机套餐上动手脚? 119 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:32,643 ‎况且我怎么知道 ‎你老爸大白天会待在家里呢? 120 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,353 ‎也对 老爸 你怎么会在家里? 121 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,355 ‎大白天你从来不在家里的 122 00:06:36,856 --> 00:06:38,482 ‎-怎么回事? ‎-你姐被开除学籍了 123 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:39,733 ‎被开除学籍? 124 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:42,153 ‎只为了替我出气? ‎我没要你替我出气啊 125 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:46,240 ‎终于说得通了 你做了什么? ‎怎么会害到你姐被开除学籍的? 126 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,366 ‎我什么都没做过! 127 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:48,659 ‎这不是伊妮丝的错 128 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,120 ‎葛洛丽亚 别再袒护你妹妹了 129 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,747 ‎我对你非常失望! 130 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,167 ‎我也是! 131 00:06:58,377 --> 00:06:59,753 ‎抱歉 我入戏太深了 132 00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,172 ‎你给我上车! 133 00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,049 ‎你姐最需要你支持的时候 ‎你跑到哪里去了? 134 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,301 ‎怎么变成我的错了? 135 00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:09,221 ‎伊妮丝 别再这么自私了 ‎两姐妹应该要互相扶持才对 136 00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:10,181 ‎赶紧回去上课吧 137 00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,223 ‎我们走吧 138 00:07:13,893 --> 00:07:14,727 ‎对不起 139 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:20,357 ‎明明是他先灌醉我们 ‎把我们反锁在房里的 140 00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,526 ‎我们的手都被绑了 真的! 141 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:25,654 ‎真要我说实话 我们的爱情更早萌芽 142 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:28,115 ‎安德烈才是第三者 ‎我们在七年级时才认识他的 143 00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:29,700 ‎这不是我们的错 144 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:33,454 ‎大伙儿没必要把心思放在我们身上 ‎也没必要讨厌我们 145 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:36,832 ‎况且全球暖化和北极熊溺水问题 ‎更值得我们关注 146 00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:39,835 ‎人们应该为北极熊感到难过才对 ‎不是吗? 147 00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:42,671 ‎你在跟我说话吗? 148 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,215 ‎没有 149 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:51,639 ‎我的小眼睛偷看到一个大大的问号 ‎是有人罪恶感深重吗? 150 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,890 ‎我们有话好好说 好吗? 151 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,809 ‎今天下午两点 ‎我要你和阿隆做客我的播客 152 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,811 ‎我们公审这事 153 00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,188 ‎骚浪贱 154 00:08:00,356 --> 00:08:02,316 ‎等你录完播客后再谈 好吗? 155 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,235 ‎不好 156 00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:06,695 ‎有什么话想对我说的 ‎就在嘿粉面前说清楚 157 00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:09,990 ‎我现在挺放得开的 ‎只是难免想要报仇雪恨 158 00:08:10,074 --> 00:08:11,492 ‎我只想让事情告一段落 159 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:14,995 ‎不想煽动你粉丝的负面情绪 160 00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:18,290 ‎我们还是给彼此一点空间 161 00:08:18,374 --> 00:08:20,584 ‎等大家情绪稳定下来后再联系 ‎可以吗? 162 00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,046 ‎休想! 163 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:27,883 ‎贱人! 164 00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:33,430 ‎等我今晚回来后 ‎我要跟你们好好谈谈 165 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,849 ‎在那之前 麻烦你们待在房里! 166 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,101 ‎在跟你们俩说话! 167 00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:42,231 ‎都是你的错! 168 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,816 ‎需要上情绪管理课的人不是我 169 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,818 ‎需要上失败管理课的人也不是我 170 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,238 ‎回嘴算你20块 171 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,615 ‎加上我今天到学校露脸的50块 172 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:57,329 ‎垃圾桶一定是满的 173 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,877 ‎(病人:哈维尔·萨拉查) 174 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:27,443 ‎喂? 175 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,279 ‎黛米 我爸刻意隐瞒我们 ‎他病情的严重性 176 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:31,405 ‎什么?为什么? 177 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,782 ‎派对那晚 ‎我无意间发现他手写的遗嘱 178 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:36,910 ‎刚刚我还发现 ‎他的医院腕带和化疗宣传册 179 00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:39,788 ‎我觉得肉桂姐姐的预言 ‎可能应验在我爸身上了 180 00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:43,167 ‎说慢点 你指的是哪一个预言? 181 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,253 ‎我不想大声说出来 ‎我担心真的会应验 182 00:09:46,337 --> 00:09:48,088 ‎我懂 你担心说出来会应验那个预言 183 00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:49,632 ‎于是我写在子弹笔记上 184 00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:51,300 ‎你写出来了? 185 00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,764 ‎我还是到走廊讲电话吧 186 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:01,143 ‎天啊 葛洛丽亚 ‎写出来比说出来还要严重 187 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:04,271 ‎这是基本常识 ‎千万不能把倒霉事写出来 188 00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:07,191 ‎写出来就一定会应验了 ‎肉桂姐姐是什么时候跟你说的? 189 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,610 ‎我进屋尿尿的时候 ‎她突然拦住了我的去路 190 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,945 ‎告诉我一番我不能说出来 ‎于是我把话写了下来 191 00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:15,157 ‎那本写着预言的子弹笔记 ‎有没有被别人看过? 192 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,408 ‎-没有 ‎-千万别让人看到 193 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:20,663 ‎黛米 也许这一切 ‎都跟那个盒子的诅咒有关 194 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,039 ‎我们一定要找到玛丽露娜 195 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,166 ‎不能再期待她再次出现在我家里了 196 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,668 ‎我们一定要去找她 197 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:26,835 ‎-怎么找? ‎-不知道 198 00:10:28,087 --> 00:10:29,338 ‎黛米 帮个忙 199 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,423 ‎在学校里帮我看好伊妮丝 200 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:35,886 ‎-好的 ‎-谢了 201 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,603 ‎-怎么不去上课呢? ‎-那你怎么不去上课呢? 202 00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,188 ‎我先问你的 203 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,526 ‎我都注定要当脱衣舞娘了 ‎还有必要受教育吗? 204 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:51,985 ‎得了吧 205 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,489 ‎你的胸部不够大 ‎说真的 你也没有节奏感 206 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,866 ‎要站上舞台跳舞不容易 207 00:10:57,950 --> 00:11:01,578 ‎很好 我连当脱衣舞娘也不配 对吧? 208 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,206 ‎你还好吧? 209 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,792 ‎你那讨人厌的自恋型人格 ‎怎么都不见了? 210 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,461 ‎我都已经坏到极限了 211 00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:11,296 ‎其实你也不是时时刻刻的那么可恶 212 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:16,009 ‎好吧 大多数时候都很可恶 ‎但贵在你有自省能力 213 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,053 ‎你还真懂得安慰人啊 214 00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:22,516 ‎你不能因为葛洛丽亚被开除学籍 ‎而感到自责 215 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:26,019 ‎你没做错什么 ‎起码你没犯下我犯的错 216 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:28,856 ‎你并没有破坏别人的感情 217 00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:30,733 ‎该死的 218 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,527 ‎我还真是个狐狸精 219 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,447 ‎做错事就要承担 ‎我一定要上他的播客 220 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,531 ‎这是他设下的陷阱 221 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,199 ‎不是的 222 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:42,453 ‎-好吧 他要杀我们个措手不及 ‎-跟陷阱有差吗? 223 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:46,165 ‎对啊 所以你不能去 ‎安德烈在设陷阱杀我们个措手不及 224 00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:48,542 ‎我倒觉得安德烈想跟我们和好 ‎毕竟他是天秤座 225 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:49,960 ‎别去 226 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,171 ‎我有很好的预感 227 00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:55,507 ‎你不断抢别人的男人 228 00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:56,967 ‎是不是因为你有恋父情结? 229 00:11:58,010 --> 00:11:59,219 ‎老爸 为什么? 230 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,680 ‎为什么要隐瞒一切? 231 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,600 ‎在忙什么? 232 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,435 ‎-没什么 你在忙什么? ‎-没什么 233 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:11,398 ‎老爸 坐下 234 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,358 ‎语气听起来事态严重 235 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,903 ‎-你回房去 ‎-不要 我要留下来 236 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,489 ‎托尼奥 你也留下来 我要你参与 237 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:21,533 ‎为什么他可以留下来? ‎而我却要回避? 238 00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:23,535 ‎伊妮丝 听你姐的话 239 00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,204 ‎不要 240 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,414 ‎亲爱的 回房去吧 241 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,002 ‎老爸 坐下 242 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:35,672 ‎被开除学籍的是你 ‎为什么是你叫我坐下? 243 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,758 ‎因为你向我们隐瞒病情 244 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:43,305 ‎这是你最需要改变的20个习惯 245 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,016 ‎你的建议没有建设性 ‎其中一个不是习惯 是我的个性 246 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,977 ‎放心吧 ‎这点一会儿我们会更仔细地聊 247 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:50,938 ‎有水吗? 248 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,649 ‎我看起来像端茶水的小弟吗? 249 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,568 ‎说真的 我也不知道你是谁 250 00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:59,738 ‎他叫班吉 新来的技术员 ‎也可能是我未来的主持搭档 251 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:00,697 ‎聊下一个话题吧 252 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,868 ‎聊聊你是怎么摧毁 ‎四五个孩子或巴哥犬的终身幸福的 253 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:08,247 ‎好吧 我很抱歉 说真的 够了 254 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,833 ‎说真的 这房里到底有没有水? 255 00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:15,128 ‎-胳肢窝冒汗说明你愧疚了 ‎-我当然感到愧疚了 256 00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,339 ‎我很清楚我错了 我向你道歉 257 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:21,885 ‎你不知道我有多么愧疚 ‎但我并没有破坏你们的感情 258 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,137 ‎-你们迟早都会分手的 ‎-胡扯 259 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,640 ‎我和阿隆还说好退休后 ‎要在箭头湖买一间别墅呢 260 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,810 ‎听好 第一 阿隆肯定没在听你说话 ‎因为他很讨厌湖 261 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:33,063 ‎-他认为湖是半途而废的河 ‎-胡扯 这点他可没跟我说过 262 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,983 ‎也许他的确跟你说过 ‎只是你没听进去 263 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:40,946 ‎就如你从没认真听他说话 ‎或感应到他几个月前就想跟你分手了 264 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,159 ‎说谎被揭穿了吧 265 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,536 ‎不是 我没骗你 266 00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,247 ‎记得他上次送你一个烂盒子吗? 267 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,332 ‎他本来打算送你一份烂礼物 268 00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:53,750 ‎让你主动跟他分手 269 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:57,254 ‎上面的名字首字母也不是你的 ‎但你只看到自己想看到的 270 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,006 ‎你没骗我 271 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,885 ‎今天到此为止 272 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,976 ‎看来你的确不是我们分手的原因 273 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,187 ‎-对不起 ‎-不要紧的 这是我应该要知道的事 274 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,523 ‎感谢你告诉我 275 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,822 ‎-黛米? ‎-怎么了? 276 00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:27,034 ‎你依旧是个狐狸精 ‎只是不是邪恶的那种 277 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:29,161 ‎如果你没病得那么严重 278 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:33,332 ‎为什么要花五千块钱买人寿保险? 279 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:36,585 ‎因为我要确保我离开后 ‎你们有能力照顾自己 280 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,045 ‎看吧?我果然猜对了! 281 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,342 ‎等等 我… 282 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,512 ‎我猜对了? ‎老爸 你的病情有多严重? 283 00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:50,015 ‎第三期 284 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,477 ‎癌症有十期 对吧? 285 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:55,729 ‎只有四期 286 00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,066 ‎这是什么意思? 287 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:02,152 ‎意思是老爸能做治疗的时间很有限 288 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,320 ‎没用的 289 00:15:04,363 --> 00:15:07,783 ‎保险不保实验性治疗的费用 290 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,242 ‎我也负担不起 291 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,162 ‎抱歉 我先前对你们说谎 292 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:16,667 ‎我不敢把真相告诉你们 293 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:20,087 ‎不会的 一定有什么办法可以… 294 00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:22,923 ‎亲爱的 爸爸爱你 295 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,259 ‎只是有时候 ‎有些抗争是注定要失败的 296 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:36,311 ‎你还好吧?感觉好点了吗? 297 00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:41,024 ‎得知老爸癌症恶化 ‎我们什么也做不了 心情能好吗? 298 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:45,237 ‎总会有办法的 ‎我们一定会想到办法的 我答应你 299 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:49,324 ‎葛洛丽亚 有件事我要告诉你 300 00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:53,453 ‎-我不知道该怎么说 我只是… ‎-还是我先说吧 301 00:15:54,371 --> 00:15:58,917 ‎今晚得知老爸为了保护我们 ‎一直在隐瞒病情后 302 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,628 ‎让我意识到我也是在做同样的事 303 00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:03,630 ‎我也在很努力地保护你 304 00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:05,924 ‎我并不想欺骗或隐瞒你什么 305 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,635 ‎也不是每次都有意要帮你出手 ‎就像今天发生的事一样 306 00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,262 ‎很多事没你想得那么简单 307 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,015 ‎对不起 ‎我现阶段只能跟你透露这么多 308 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:17,227 ‎你的意思是你有事瞒着我 309 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,147 ‎不让你知道是为了你好 310 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,108 ‎是不是对我好不是我说了算吗? 311 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,444 ‎为什么大家都把我当小孩? 312 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,612 ‎拜托你 相信我吧 313 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,322 ‎我还有选择吗? 314 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,658 ‎你还是别回答好了 315 00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:33,702 ‎我知道答案 我没有选择 316 00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:35,412 ‎等一下 317 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:38,582 ‎-你想告诉我什么? ‎-不重要了 318 00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:41,376 ‎反正我都不重要了 319 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,729 ‎有空吗? 320 00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,440 ‎我想跟愿意借出耳朵的人聊聊心事 321 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,233 ‎好啊 你还好吧? 322 00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:08,153 ‎不太好 我现在不想说伤心事 323 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,905 ‎我想谈谈葛洛丽亚 324 00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:13,158 ‎她把我当成刚呱呱落地的宝宝 325 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,911 ‎从来不让我发言 ‎有事都叫我躲进房间里 326 00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:20,707 ‎她甚至以保护我为由 ‎刻意对我隐瞒一些事 327 00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,209 ‎简直一派胡言 328 00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:25,629 ‎-我姐根本就是讨厌我 ‎-你开什么玩笑? 329 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,380 ‎葛洛丽亚最关心的人是你 330 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:30,175 ‎今早她为了替你出气 ‎一拳揍在我脸上呢 331 00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:32,969 ‎她这么做不是替我出气 332 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,430 ‎而是替自己出气 333 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,641 ‎什么?怎么说? 334 00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,268 ‎鲁斯迪 你分明就懂我的意思 335 00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:44,314 ‎你不是说她说我风光不再 ‎不喜欢我吗? 336 00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:45,649 ‎我骗你的 337 00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:47,943 ‎那她为什么打我? 338 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,154 ‎因为我也骗了她 339 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,908 ‎我就是那个 ‎人人口中得以诛之的讨厌鬼 340 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,786 ‎别这么说 别说这种话 341 00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:01,873 ‎你也是人 我们都还在探索人生 342 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,459 ‎这是牛头人的金句吧? 343 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:08,630 ‎没错 但确实是金玉良言 344 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,176 ‎我再给你打电话 好吗?我赶时间 345 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,430 ‎收到我的短信了吗? 346 00:18:17,973 --> 00:18:19,766 ‎你不能现在辞职不干 347 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,602 ‎我不能再留下去了 ‎对不起 事情越来越复杂了 348 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:26,523 ‎别这样嘛 ‎我不能没有你 那两姐妹也是 349 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:36,867 ‎姿势还需要改进 350 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:42,080 ‎按照统计 ‎下手投球比上手投球的命中率更高 351 00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,126 ‎你来只是为了指点我打篮球吗? 352 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,712 ‎我看过你打篮球 你不行 353 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,757 ‎我今天听了你的播客 354 00:18:56,511 --> 00:19:00,682 ‎安德烈 我真心希望 ‎能用更合适的方法结束这段感情 355 00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:03,852 ‎对不起 356 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,982 ‎你是为劈腿道歉 ‎还是为假装在乎我道歉? 357 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,317 ‎我不是装的 358 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,652 ‎你几个月前就想跟我分手了 ‎为什么要拖到现在? 359 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:14,696 ‎因为我不会谈分手 360 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:19,242 ‎我不会说话 不会表达情感 ‎也不会搭配颜色 361 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:23,121 ‎好吧 你想听真心话 对吧? 362 00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:25,874 ‎-重点是你说得出口 ‎-安德烈… 363 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:30,295 ‎我不像你 我不知道怎么爱自己 364 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:31,546 ‎少给我自恋了 365 00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:33,048 ‎不是你想的那回事 366 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,800 ‎先让我说完 要我说出口不容易 367 00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:40,555 ‎你一直都很自在地做自己 368 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,600 ‎从未动摇过 甚至不怕让全世界看到 369 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:48,438 ‎这样很好 但这种勇气令人感到害怕 370 00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:52,817 ‎因为我不知道要怎么做自己 371 00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:56,029 ‎那你到底想说什么? 372 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:59,866 ‎我还在探索 所以我会感到害怕 373 00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:02,786 ‎但你似乎并没有这方面的问题 374 00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,164 ‎因为你已经搞清楚了 375 00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:12,712 ‎你问我是不是想跟你分手?是的 ‎你问我是不是在乎你? 376 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,048 ‎我在乎 377 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:19,970 ‎这两句话都是真的 ‎这两件事都是事实 378 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:20,887 ‎没错 379 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:22,472 ‎我理解 380 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,432 ‎我知道了 381 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,813 ‎自从分手后 我多出了思考的时间 382 00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:33,817 ‎我意识到我花太多时间 ‎在乎你到底喜不喜欢我 383 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:37,779 ‎却从没花时间去思考 ‎我到底喜不喜欢你 384 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:41,533 ‎其实我并不喜欢你 385 00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:46,955 ‎进球 386 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,082 ‎空心球 387 00:20:57,132 --> 00:20:59,050 ‎我去跟鲁斯迪说你还没吃完 388 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:11,730 ‎嗨 389 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:13,732 ‎伊妮丝在拉屎 390 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,110 ‎她六分钟后就出来 391 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,031 ‎我可以… 392 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,539 ‎你没有笑出来 所以我有必要解释 393 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,916 ‎我刚刚说伊妮丝在拉屎 ‎只是在跟你开玩笑的 394 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:34,461 ‎其实我很高兴见你出来跟我说话 395 00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:38,631 ‎-我想跟你说一件事 ‎-等等 还是让我先说吧 396 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:40,759 ‎抱歉我那天打垮了你 397 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:42,969 ‎我没有被你打垮 398 00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:44,304 ‎明明就有 399 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,432 ‎但我并没有错 400 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,851 ‎因为你吻了我 你不应该吻我的 401 00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:52,687 ‎-应该是说我不应该吻你 ‎-为什么? 402 00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:56,149 ‎因为我们俩不适合在一起 403 00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,444 ‎这是你真实的感受吗? 404 00:22:01,905 --> 00:22:02,864 ‎你说呢? 405 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,326 ‎-我认为我们可以… ‎-没错 406 00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:09,746 ‎那是个错 我们不适合在一起 407 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,582 ‎所以严格说来 ‎我很抱歉 我没有什么好遗憾的 408 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,628 ‎你刚刚想说什么来着? 409 00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:19,964 ‎我很遗憾你并不感到遗憾 410 00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:23,218 ‎我还以为我们在一起会很快乐 411 00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:36,564 ‎准备好出发了吗? 412 00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:56,835 ‎-不是叫你别走出家门了吗? ‎-我刚刚出去跟鲁斯迪道歉 413 00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:58,503 ‎我不管! 414 00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:01,881 ‎在我们把你送回学校之前 ‎你只能被禁足在家! 415 00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:05,218 ‎你要是敢再踏出家门一步 ‎那被开除学籍只会是小事 416 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:08,138 ‎因为我会把你送到奶奶家住! 417 00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:10,390 ‎奶奶住在墨西哥 418 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:12,100 ‎没错 她是个很虔诚的天主教徒 419 00:23:12,183 --> 00:23:14,894 ‎这也意味着 ‎她跟天主教学校的修女非常要好 420 00:23:14,978 --> 00:23:17,480 ‎到时你只能到天主教学校上学 ‎绝对不敢踏出去半步 421 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:19,774 ‎因为修女们都会打人 422 00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:21,985 ‎祝你有个愉快的一天 423 00:23:35,165 --> 00:23:38,418 ‎鲁斯迪 我跟你说过 ‎我是怎么认识我太太的吗? 424 00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:39,627 ‎你有老婆? 425 00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:41,212 ‎还有两个老婆呢 426 00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:44,257 ‎一个是人 一个是马 427 00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:46,301 ‎我想跟你说 ‎我和人类老婆的相识过程 428 00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:48,386 ‎有一次我前往康奈尔大学 ‎担任客座讲师 429 00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:49,929 ‎一眼就在人群中看到她 430 00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:51,681 ‎于是当场向她提出邀约 431 00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:57,187 ‎鲁斯迪和牛头人 432 00:23:57,270 --> 00:24:01,065 ‎他是我最要好的朋友 433 00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:02,901 ‎你是我… 434 00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:15,038 ‎难吃 435 00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:20,126 ‎天啊 竟然吃我的薯片 436 00:25:12,637 --> 00:25:13,763 ‎该死的 437 00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:15,890 ‎对不起 老爸 438 00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:18,870 ‎字幕翻译:张庆龄